#mom made banana bread lol

[dizzyluc]

New day, and still in the cone (it keeps waving up and down on this map)

Right now it’s a bit lower than before, so still no idea how affected the area I’m at will be, just gonna have to wait until tomorrow morning pretty much to see where we are at with it.

[x-rds]

That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ friday 27th of december

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TW FOR THE END OF MY ENTRY !!!!! for pic of sfx blood makeup… T_T

friday hmmmm.. well that was yesterday… i woke up and weighed myself ! i was half a kg less then the day before that… so that was very relieving T_T do you guys like a picture of a guy in a bra ? it was the smallest size they have at the local store… i tried to make it look flattering… but i feel like im too fat too pull this whole… feminine man in a bra look off…

i got up and did god knows what and then ate breakfast !

breakfast :

1 slice of home made bread cut into 2 pieces, the smallest bit of zuivel spread on both, with some smoked salmon, and a bit of crushed salt and pepper (gamechanger)

half a small bowl of vanilla pudding that was left over… and what looks like a big blob of cinnamon

a cup of some kind of herbal tea with some lemon in it

the sandwich was GOOD ! the salt and pepper ontop and just the whole combo was very rich and flavourful,

(can i interrupt this by saying im writing this at work at 8 am and some fuckass came in and said so much with such little actual words and completely fried my brain COMPLETELY like omg ? ok back to what i was saying……)

the salt and the pepper ontop changed it from being a good breakfast to being a really enjoyable breakfast ! the bread is i think the best my moms ever made… i can’t exactly describe it… it was dense and maybe a bit… im not sure, not too dry… which i really like… its closer to one of those bread buns rather than a regular old slice of bread… and so thin too !

the tea was gross…. my mom put a bit too toooo much lemon… so much so it stopped being enjoyable and sour, and went straight to being bitter….

after eating, i felt replenished but also somewhat moody. i started on my treadmill having already collected 2k steps from just doing god knows what, and i was determined to get to 10 k… i kind of zoned out the 75 mins i was walking tbh… but the last 5 minutes were stressful cause my step counter absolutely REFUUUUSED to update and this kind of ticked me off… sighs… i needed 200 steps left so i manually counted them at a certain point and got off even if my step counter didn’t update… waah

then i layed in bed… probably fell half asleep at some point, then got up to eat AGAIN… fatty… you see yesterday i wanted to overeat a lot.. on… a lot… a lot… of food… everything you could think of… not only that but i didn’t smoke at all and had had 0 energy drinks (helps reduce appetite and also boosts energy obviously)

dinner :

1/4 of my bowl was filled with some goulash and maybe 10 pieces of that pasta ?

in a small bowl i had some more pasta, maybe another 10 pieces or so… and some vanilla sugar on it…

a small bowl with some salad

a banana mashed up and microwaved

the goulash is basically just meat left to simmer alllll day long on low in a special pot, making the meat very tender and soft and quite flavourful… but im not a fan of this dish when eating it with pasta… only with mashed potato… so i wasn’t feeling it, that’s why half my bowl is fucking empty lol

the sweet pasta thing, usually you’d also put sunflower oil on it, my mom always made it when i was a child, but ill rather swallow a gun whole than directly consume sunflower oil

the salad was leftovers, and the banana was me wanting something sweet idk. surprisingly good tasting to warm up a banana, i ate it with the sweet pasta and the warm banana made it more good… idk… maybe struggle meal ?

idk what i did, but i ate AGAIN cause i was going crazy i can’t recall what happened inbetween i think this was veeery shortly after dinner

snack :

one piece of dark chocolate, and 2 lotus cookies (came in a pack)

it was good, i felt guilty but it’s like i couldn’t be helped lol… atleast it was just a controlled portion and not just… like eating handfuls of everything in sight kind of deal… i’ve done that before soooo hey ! progress.. i would NOT consider this a binge or overeating

after this my mom asked if i wanted to go on a walk with me, and i thought YESSSS I SCORED !!!! i already had 10 k so it’ll only add onto my successes !!!! so we went on this huuuuuge walk… huge ! it was soooo cold like 2 degrees out… brrr

we went to the store and i got some stuff ! taco shells… and beans… i wanted tacos… ofc i will make them myself, you will see it in my blogpost tonight or tommorow… it depends… and it will be a struggle meal bcs im rlly autistic and specific about my food T_T i asked my friend if he can spare me the cost and he couldn’t… so im not chatting with him till later… he said by next week he’ll have 500 euro so he can talk to me then…

anyways when i got back i had something like 17-18 k ! i was so happy with myself even if i felt guilty… i went into bed and i started drawing again… while chewing on vitamin pills ? see i don’t know what happens when i really want to eat BAD why the fuck would you chew on that ??????

i completed the lineart completely by this point and sighed in relief… then i started colouring my characters first… first my favourite… hehe.. i coloured him in completely and then my second favourite, i half completed him… cause then i remembered i had work

i put my ipad away and i layed in bed and forced myself to go to bed… i went to sleep so early my parents weren’t even sleeping yet, so i could sleep with no headphones, no earbuds, just pure silence… infact it was so quiet i didn’t even put on a video… it was such a weird sleep

i remember having a nightmare but i can’t remember exactly what, most likely something with food or something like that you know ? T_T

that was my day !!! weirdly extensive… but im in one of those moooooods you know ?

ignore monday ew… this is what we call beaaaaaauifull consistency ~ i love it !! you see those beautiful numbers ????? i feel so good about it i kind of never want to be under 10 k again TwT

cals : 3 days binge free !!!! today was hard, but i only had controlled portions of everything, so i see it as a win… feel free to disagree tho… i do understand today was a BAD food day… i ate so much !!!!

steps : 18.6 k !!!

my obsession with this soundtrack needs to be studied LMFAO. this track makes me laugh bcs she’s always playing her stupid rpg when it plays going online with her teacher ??? that’s crazy ToT

TW scaaaaaaaaaaaaaars

bonus !!! TwT i thought these turned out sooo cute… the night before i wasn’t feeling so well, so i got some courage and cvt the inside of my arm… i had been wanting to for a long long time… it wasn’t so bad !!!! i started it off really carefully, but slowly did it more and more… by the end i had one last one at the top that showed a little bit of bubbles, just barely :3 those kinds are my favourite ever ~ they hurt soooooo good …

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[elis-blawg222]

November 2 - Saturday

This day my friend was staying until we had to go to work. When I woke up I really wanted to make some pancakes. I'd been wanting to make them for a few days- or a banana bread loaf- but I didn't know what to do with whatever I made since I didn't want to eat them. Sooo, I figured I'd cease the opportunity to make her some pancakes. I didn't think that it would make so many though, and tried to give as many as I could away.

It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed it! Everyone complimented them too and it made me really happy.

Despite it being a good morning, my afternoon was not so great. I did go to work, but ended up leaving before my shift was over.. teehee. I didn't want to go home, so instead I went to the park near my house. It was pretty late and it was cold, but it was peaceful since there was no one else there. I didn't get a lot of steps in at all, but likeee... cut me some slack ok.

I was missing Angel so so terribly this day also omg it was insane (this is every day let's be real). The whole day I was just hoping we'd get to call. Genuinely our calls heal a part of my brain, it's unreal. We didn't get to though, since I was with my friend the whole day.

Anywho, when I finally got home I made my dinner- or well, I was in the process, but then my dad called me. He asked me to go get him and take him home, which kinda had made sense to me because of some other stuff so I thought it was fine. Plus, I thought he was sober. Usually if he's been drinking I just ignore him because there's just no point lol. So I was about half way through making my meal when I went to get him. The plan was that when I got back, my food would be ready, but that's so not how it went.

In short, I got to where he was and he was drinking (not drunk yet though) and he ended up embarrassing me in front of his friends (who he also called 'family' ... mrs girl idfk them ppl). He was talking about how I was losing weight and he made me stand up in front of all of them... also they have a daughter and she was there and she goes to my school... Then he was talking about how my mom thought I was on drugs (bc I was losing weight). IN FRONT OF THE GIRL. OK.

I ended up leaving without him.. LOL and then when I got home I went to eat it in my room and literally part of the way through it I paused for a sh sesh LMFAO.

Desc: zucchini, yellow squash, cauliflower rice, strawberry pocky.

Total Cals: 568

My friend actually bought me a bunch of stuff because I was feeling so upset and stuff. She bought me a kuromi figure, a little kuromi plushie, a dinosaur sticker, the strawberry pocky in the picture, chocolate pocky, and ghirardelli peppermint bark squares. In conclusion, she's trying to make me fat. Fat as fuck. But no I really appreciated it to be honest, and she even texted me like talking about how she was there for me which made me feel kinda bad bc like... honestly I was shit talking her. But that's only because I felt like she didn't care about me, but now ik she does so it's fineeeee, she doesn't have to know.......

I only got 3.4k steps butttt

yes

Oki, byeeee!! <3

[pacthesis]

nostalgic food

i’ll want to reference this in the future

gỏi cuốn (spring roll with chicken, egg, rice noodle, carrot, lettuce, avocado)

peanut sauce is just peanut butter+water, hoisin+sriracha sauce, and a tiny bit of sesame oil (tastes good with almost anything imo)

yellow curry

rice noodle with chicken, potatoes, yams, onions, carrots in a creamy coconut milk and yellow curry paste broth

lemon juice and salt mix with garlic chili for dipping

bò kho (vietnamese beef stew)

kho is a cooking technique where a protein is braised in a mixture of fish sauce, sugar, and water or coconut juice to make a salty/savory result

bread dips in stew beef/potatoes dip in lime juice/salt/pepper mix

cucumber slices to offset the salty

xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork)

the seasoning mix is made of sugar, powdered soy sauce, onion and garlic powder, and spices

the pink color very much freaked out middle schoolers at lunch

cơm tấm (broken rice, grilled pork, egg, pickled carrots/daikon with scallions/oil garnish and fish sauce)

bún bò huế (thick round rice noodle with beef soup)

more "fun" than phở imo

bún bò broth: spicy salty flavor (lemongrass, spicy chili, fermented shrimp paste, fish sauce)

phở broth: earthy sweet flavor (cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

bánh mì (baguette sandwich with chả lụa (pork sausage), xá xíu (cantonese style bbq pork) coriander leaf (cilantro), cucumber, pickled carrots, and pickled daikon combined with pâté and buttery mayonnaise)

salmon instead of nem nướng̣ (viet grilled pork) with bánh hỏi (rice vermicelli)

feat nori (dried edible seaweed)

wrapped with lettuce and dipped in nước mắm (fish sauce)

bánh cuốn (rice noodle rolls filled with ground meat, wood ear mushrooms, onions)

topped with chả lụa (pork sausage) and fried red onions and nước mắm (fermented salted fish sauce)

a fav of grandpa's

pizza man mispronounces it as "bun goo" which makes my mom giggle cause the way he says goo sounds like penis

bánh tét (glutinous rice rolled in a banana leaf into a thick, log-like cylindrical shape, with a mung bean and pork filling)

bánh rán (deep fried sesame ball filled with mung bean)

bánh da lợn "pig skin cake" (tapioca starch, rice flour, mung bean, taro, coconut milk)

bánh bột chiên (fried taro rice cake, a fav of pizza man)

phở (broth: earthy sweet flavor- cinnamon, star anise, onion, ginger, garlic, herbs)

ive called phở mid but while eating this i was like huh this is good actually then my dad says this time he simmered chicken bones for hours like he's supposed to instead of using canned broth

improvised bún thịt nướng (rice noodle bowl with chopped grilled pork, egg roll, veggies, crushed peanuts, fish sauce)

a way to deal with leftover noodles from gỏi cuốn

every time i eat this i think of the time me and pizza man were in new orleans and he asked if i wanted to eat at a viet place and i was surprised cause he's not really into a lot of viet food but anyway i got bún thịt nướng

thịt kho (pork with eggs braised in sticky savory caramel of sugar, fish sauce, coconut water)

i have distinct flashbacks of being in the middle school cafeteria with my thịt kho and kids around me going "what is that??", "ewwww" lol

cháo (rice porridge with chicken or a white meat fish- often served with crunchy cabbage salad)

my dad likes it with youtiao (chinese donuts)

being sick means eating this! but we also eat it a lot when we’re not sick!

when my mom was young she would say yes to any dude that asked her out and order an obscene amount of food/the most expensive things on the menu and never hear from them again but my dad took her to a cháo place cause that was his favorite but apparently for cheapskates

he proposed two weeks later and she said yes

my mom is such a menace i wanna be just like her

[iantimony]

not a yearly roundup! just a tuesdaypost!

the yearly roundup coming soon!

listening: playing some podcast catch-up, also did some KONGOS, thanks beloved mutual celestialtourguide. Odysseus by Brian Keane was also linked in a server I'm in and I like it.

reading: there was exactly one day in which I and a bunch of my friends all overlapped in the same place so we were able to convene at beloved mutual celestialtourguide's apartment on this past Saturday! in there I noticed the volumes of "Witch Hat Atelier" on the shelf and WHILE SITTING THERE HANGING OUT I zoomed through the first two volumes. I borrowed 3 and 4 and read them that night. I have since read through volume 9. I am forcing myself to stop reading for today and will space out the last three available volumes in the next few days because it is more fun than just binging even though it's sooo easy to binge, especially a manga. I love you libby I love you my public libraries, all the volumes were available with no waits. apparently there is a new volume in January and an anime coming out sometime next year so I'm now very excited for that.

some really really good characters in here. I haven't checked yet but I will be SO disappointed if people aren't smashing Qifrey and Olruggio together like dolls. listen there is just something so . something. about one wiping the other's memory like that. has it happened before? who knows. it's fine. it's so good. the tassel swap. augh. and not to bring the cnovel shizunfucking into it but beldaruit and qifrey too huh. anyways. I didn't know it was still in progress when I started reading so now I'm really excited to have a series to keep up with!

Contemplation of a Decaying Corpse: The Japanese Art of Kusôzu: content warning for graphic corpse decay. it is a little funny to me as described as "feeling horny? go look at a rotting corpse, you won't be horny any more"

Thread: What do Ancient Greek myths tell us about the Greek view of Omegas? (ghostwriterofthemachine, loosingletters): REALLY fun. love a little omegaverse metafiction. formatting probably looks best on desktop.

watching: watched most of the single Chanukah hallmark movie. fun to watch in a 'laughing at weird hallmark choices' kind of way.

Getting My Life Together for the New Year (Morgan Evelyn Cook): her again! she has a lot of Youtuber Vibes (idk if that means anything but whatever). good background noise.

why does wicked look like that? (Mina Le): color grading discourse! fun little history recap of the wizard of oz and film grading in general! she does pronounce "Fiyero" as "Fero" a few times and it made my brain go friends at the table mode lol

playing: fallow

making: working on the fingerless gloves! these will be a birthday gift for my mom instead of a holiday gift lol but I had other stuff for her so it's fine.

eating: made this pineapple bread to use up some crushed pineapple leftover from a kugel! I pressed in some pomegranate seeds into the top as well. it came out tasty but it was a bit of a harrowing bake - there was a point where the edges were cooked but the center was still raw?? which was scary. it took an extra FORTY minutes (!!!!) from what was prescribed in the recipe to cook in the center and thankfully it didn't burn the edges. it was a little dry because of that but still tasty! made it for a Chanukah hangout with some friends, have had some delicious latkes in the past week, all is well :-)

also made the overnight oats ratio from this reddit post, it was good but I feel like the oxidation of the banana made an impact on the taste after a day or two. still edible, just hmm.

misc: posting this on a Monday night and will be writing up my yearly roundup tomorrow on the last Tuesday and last Day, Period of 2024!!!!

[5-htagonist]

god damn im so happy rn... ill stick it under a readmore bc its about food and my appetite idk if it would be triggering also this turned into more of a diary entry than anything lol My Blog My Rules though

i made curry last night and im really happy because ive been having a lot of trouble eating and Making myself eat, on top of being really erally really broke so we havent had much food in the house thats just Ready To Go consistently.. like, we always have oats, but we dont always have milk, and i cant eat them with water.. or we have ham but we run out of bread, or all i want are fruits and leafs but we cant really keep anything except apples/oranges/grapes because they dont go bad before we finish them, or bananas cause they arent really ruined if theyre overripe you just throw them in the freezer. so we cant get salad materials.

if i try to just shove calories in my body and i dont like it i wont finish it. like i will feel full until i stop trying to make myself eat it. and this isnt even just when adderall affects my appetite.

then, on top of all that, i know if i eat i have to do dishes. my husband usually does them, but hes been going through a really bad time for the past couple months too, plus we only moved out july 2023, and before that his mom had been Divorced outta the house earlier that year iirc plus id been living there since july 2022, so his brain and nervous system has felt safe enough for the ptsd recovery stage for nearly 2 years. and he gets hit really hard with seasonal depression, and he has adhd too. he typically does dishes, i typically do laundry. the problem is its easier to wear the same clothes for a few days, or rewear laundry that isnt rancid, or wear ill fitting clothes that have been shoved to the back of the dresser, but its hard to wash a dish when the sink is full and the kitchen is overwhelming.

so, to avoid having dirty dishes, i wont eat. whats worse, is i was insanely stressed over school for like 3 weeks. all the stress i should have had this semester hit me really bad all at once. when im that stressed, i cant think about anything relevant to maintaining myself-- especially not maintaining neutral-positive self talk and constructive self esteem. which means i shut down if anyone needs anything from me real or imagined. which means i cant be there for my husband and make sure he eats and check in on him. so all this stupid shit just feeds into itself. ive had more s/h urges than ive had in years i think, and not even in response to anything extrinsic.

my goofy ass got drunker than i usually do super quick the other night, it wasmy husbands birthday party. i cleaned up the apartment super nice since mostly my stuff was strewn everywhere and did the dishes. i didnt eat all day and i think i had like, one inadequate meal the day before. so i was exhausted after cleaning, our roommate ordered pizza and i ate and passed out for 3 hour nap. by the time i got up everyone was already at Least buzzed. my brother in law got a mom call and my husband (drunk) was like Hey. Give me the Phone.. tell her i wanna talk... because she LOVES being upset that her kids are having a good time and feels the need for Hour Phone Call when and where she wants it, and my BIL is an adult but they dont treat him like one, so hes still really deep in feeling trapped in these trauma responses.

this i think is what really got me, other than not being on my full dose of adderall so my emotional abilities were compromised lmao. i was tryingto tell my husband i love him, because i was leaving to weed store, and he was getting triggered while drunk, so he was annoyed i was interrupting the call and i didnt get my byebyehugnkiss. not to mention they were being really loud earlier. so now i feel bad. i get back immediately down 2 shots (3 shots is where i am Comfortably Drunk) and share a j actually post cancelled kendrick just dropped. the point was that i got too drunk and started hitting myself on the head and crying in the kitchen floor lol but who cares about that KENDRIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[dadyscumslutprincess20]

|Her Bad Boy | Niragi x Reader | Chapter 1|

—————————————————

Reader Pov

Beep Beep Beep

Slam!!

After stopping the alarm, I got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Once I entered the bathroom I began to brush my teeth and proceeded to the shower after a hour in the shower I headed back to my room to get ready for school

After getting dressed I checked the time 7:00 am still got enough time I then started to do my make up

After I was finished I left my room closing the door behind me, I walked downstairs once, I then greeted my mom and sister grabbed a apple and some banana bread, then headed out the door as I finished my apple I threw it in a nearby trash can . After I threw away my trash I quickly ran to the bus stop ,I waited a good 15 minutes before the bus arrived , as I waited for the bus I plugged in my headphones and listened to music. After 3 minutes of looking in my phone for a song to play I noticed that some one was beside me, I turned to take a look at the person , only to see a boy about 4 inches taller then me , his uniform was almost the same as mine , his pants wear black and he wore a black jacket over his top , he had on glass and was extremely quiet and kept his head down.... Hmm kinda cute you thought as your thoughts were ended when you heard the bus pull up beside , as you turn your head toward the bus you proceed to get on the bus and payed your fare. When you were done paying you headed to one of the seats in the far back corner. When you were finally seated you checked the time again 7:24 am, I then checked all my social media as I went though my Facebook I see a notification pop up , signaling that I had a new message

~text mode~

1 new message

Emma: Hey I was checking if you made it to school yet..??!

Y/n: Not exactly ...I'm bout 15-20 minutes away, I just got on the bus

Emma: Oh ok same lol.. meet in class?!

Y/n: okay

~text mode over ~

After texting Emma I noticed that I had about 15 more minutes before making it to school, I suddenly felt some ones presence next to me so I turned to see the same boy from earlier he was still looking down fidgeting with his fingers, for some reason I was curious about him but I don't know why exactly... so I decided to tap him on the shoulder

Y/n: hi I'm y/n, I noticed you we are wearing the same uniform do you also attend (your school name)

Boy: .....yeah (still looking down)

Y/n: cool ...so what grade are you

Boy: ....senior year (continues the look down)

Y/n: cool ..nice meet you.....(takes his hand and shakes it)

Boy: ...niragi (looks at your hand)

As I continued to hold my hand out I noticed that he wasn't going the shake it so I grabbed his hand and shook it myself

Y/n: Well niragi nice to me you

For the rest of the ride we continued to talk as we got colder to the school

~15 minutes later ~

After getting off the bus I asked niragi if he wanted to walk the rest of the way together which he just shook his head and we continued our walk to school together. When we finally arrived I asked niragi which class he had which was the same class as mine so we walked in class together as we entered the classroom everyone looked at us which caused niagri to look down and fidget with his fingers some started to whisper while others continued to stare but who cares...right?!! Walking into the class more I began to scan the room for my two best friends after scanned the room for a few minutes I noticed them sitting in the far back so I grabbed Niragi's arm and dragged him behind me when we were finally in front of my friends I let his arm go to introduce him to my friends

Y/n: hey Emma , hey Ana (hugs them both then take a seat next to them )

Emma : hey y/n

Ana: hey so who's your friend (looking a niragi)

Y/n: oh this is niragi I met him today on the bus he's really nice so BE NICE ( stares at Ana )

Ana: alright alright.. (holds hands up in surrender)

Emma : well hi niragi I'm Emma and this (points to Ana) this is Ana

Niragi: ....hi (still looking down)

Y/n: oh come on seat next to me it's ok ( pats the seat beside you )

Niragi : (hesitantly seats down)

After niragi sat down the teacher walked in and told us the assignment

Teacher : ok guys today your going to work in groups of 4 your choice, I want you all to create a slide show of three countries of your choice , here should be 3-4 slide for each country, lastly at the end of the slide show I would need a compare and contrast of the three countries of your choice, please make sure to add your first and last names on the slide show and that would be all for today please find your groups

When the teacher was done explaining the project, Me, Emma and Ana began discussing the project I then turned to niragi

Y/n : hey niragi your going the work with us ok (smiles)

Niragi: ok (smiles back)

~time skip~

It was now lunch time so we decided to head to the lunch place room after grabbing our lunch we Brahma to head to the table but I stopped remembering something

Y/n: hey guys maybe we should eat with niragi ( looks between Emma and Ana)

Emma: I mean I guess we can

Ana : where is he anyways ( looks around the lunch room)

Y/n: I don't know...where would he be ...(thinks for a minute)

Y/n : the rooftop

We then left the lunch room and headed towards the rooftop. After 5 minutes we finally made it to the rooftop and there on the bench sat niragi, we proceeded to walk towards him and I sat next to him while Emma and Ana sat on the next bench

Y/n: hey I thought u might be here (sits down)

Niragi: yeah ( continues to look at food)

Y/n: what's wrong your not hungry (began eating)

Niragi: not really

Y/n: so...do you always eat up here alone ( looks at niragi )

Niragi: ...yeah (continues to look at food)

Y/n: would you like me the eat with you from now on ( still looking at niragi)

Niragi: ....sure ( looks up at you)

Y/n : great (smiles)

Niragi:( smiles back)

Y/n: so..do you have any friends

Niragi : ....no (looks back down)

Y/n: we'll now you do (smiles again)

Niragi: yea (looks at you again and smiles)

Y/n:... But I must ask.. why don't you have any friends .. I mean your really handsome ( smiles and continues to look at niragi)

Niragi: ..I..(shocked) I ...don't know

Niragi pov

After hearing her call me handsome I didn't know what to say hell I didn't know what to say when she offered to be my friend I mean it's y/n lee one of the most prettiest girls in school I had a crush on her every since freshman year and she's finally talking to me.... could this be a set up from my bullies? Does she know my bullies? Or is she really being nice to me ? I was cut from my thought when I heard some one calling my name

Y/n: niragi...niragi...NIRAGI

Me: oh sorry I was thinking about something ( shakes head)

Y/n: oh like what ( staring at me)

Me:..nothing ( looks back down)

Y/n: we'll I was asking if you had a phone so we could exchange numbers for the project ( still staring at me )

Me: oh...ugh.. yea (takes out phone and hands it to her)

Y/n: great (she smiles and take my phone handing me hers)

I then added my contact in her phone.

After a while she gave me my phone back and I saw she added her contact

~y/n🥰🍁~

I smiled seeing the emoji's she chose , as I was looking at the contact I heard the bell ring signaling that lunch was over and the last class of the day was now starting y/n then gave me a hug and said goodbye and that she would text me later I told her ok and watched her leave the rooftop, after she left I grabbed my things and headed to class myself. A few minutes later, I felt my body begging banged against the lockers I look up to see my bully Lee Chang and his three minions beside him

Lee Chang: hey douchebag , who your think you are the talk to my girl huh ( death staring me)

Me: ..who..who's your girlfriend (continue to look up at Chang)

Lee Chang: (laughs) I..you..Y/N HUH ( kicks me in the side)

Me: ( groans in pain holding side)

Lee Chang : listen to me and listen to me good ok ( grabs my hair and makes me look at him)

Lee Chang: If I EVER see you near her again and it won't be pretty do I make myself clear douchebag

Me: ....yea(whines in pain)

Lee Chang: good ( pushes head and kicks me again)

After Lee Chang and his minions left I grabbed all my courage to stand back up and head to class. As I went weed the class the teacher scolded me for being 3 minutes late, I just held my head down and continued towards my desk once I made it to my desk I put my head down and drifted off the sleep. A few minutes went by and I felt I tap on my desk I immediately raise my head to be met with the teacher asking if I was feeling ok to which I replied yes now you my be wondering why not tell or ask for help... even if I did it wouldn't be a big of a difference...giving the fact the principle is Lee Chang's father and if I were to go to him I wouldn't be able to make it out alive so instead I keep quiet and try to stay to myself. As class continued to go on, I started to look out the window that was right beside my desk. As I looked out the window I couldn't help but think when exactly did Lee Chang start the like y/n for as long as I came remember he was head over heels for a girl name Kim Seo~young who is well know around the school and from what I over hear not in a good way...so when and why y/n....do he know about my crush on her...no way I haven't told anyone...but a guy I thought was my friend a about two years ago.

After a while , I heated the bell ring and began to gather all my belongs and headed out the class room on my way out the school I headed a familiar voice call out my name .....y/n

Y/n : NIRAGI ( runs beside him)

Niragi: Hm ( looking straight ahead)

Y/n: wanna walk to the bus together (looks at niragi)

Niragi: ..um..(stops walking and looks at y/n)

Y/n : hm ( stops and looks at him also)

Niragi:(thinks for a minute) ...sure...(turns and continues to walk again)

Y/n: yay ( claps, smiles and continue the walk also)

After walking for a few minutes I felt as if some one was watching us so I turned around the check but there was no one there

Y/n: you ok? (Looks the direction niragi looking)

Niragi:... yeah...yeah come on ( turns and continue the walk)

After a few more minutes of walking and we finally made it to the bus stop, we then took a sit and started to chat again or she would question me like "where you like this all high school year", " why don't you have friends again", or "your so handsome do u have a girlfriend" to which I replied no and she simply ask "why" honestly I didn't know how to answer... because I never had a girlfriend...I was always bullied through school kindergarten, pre-school, middle school and sadly throughout my whole high school year nothing every changed and I never expected it to honestly. After a while ,the bus had arrived , as we entered the bus, payed then headed to our usual seat in the back of the bus.

~20 minutes later~

After getting off the bus we said goodbye and parted our ways. When I finally made it home , the smell of alcohol hits my nose immediately meaning one thing... my dad's back home and as usual drunk leaving the house a mess for me or my stepmother to clean up after. After removing my shoes , I headed straight towards my bedroom changing into sleeping clothes after changing I took off my glasses and put in my brown contacts. When I was done I decided to go straight the bed since it was already 10 pm.

As I lay in bed my mind began to wonder to y/n the way she smile, the way she could be around me without caring what others think. Slowly my eyes began to close and I drifted off into a deep sleep.

What would happen in the next chapter ....??!!

[singitforthegirls]

Made another nanner bread with the rest of the bananas! 🥰

Apparently mom brought these home from work, after like people who were scouting stuff didn't finish them or something. Lol.

[readingismyhobby24]

hiii faith !!!!!! how have you been doing today? :3 ive been kinda meh today im like forgetting everything i did today now😭😭

yesterday i made banana bread !!! its already all gone 😭😭 it looked and tasted AMAZING tho!!! i never got my mom or brothers opinions on it though :( my dad said he liked it atleast

tomorrow is picture day at school :D i know its “wear your best outfit” or whatever but my best outfit is my botw shirt. atleast its not the ugly neon green (bonus it was way too tight) shirt i had to wear for picture day last year

being in a new school is still so weird cuz sometimes im just standing like toon link in the hallway when i need to refill my waterbottle or get something for my teacher from the printer

i need to lock in for whumptober i still dont have ideas for all fics i swear im just gonna be rushing all of these . i HAVE time to write fanfics during school time too .

i can literally just write stuff in the notebook/sketchbook i carry around if i really wanted to (but instead im drawing the chain and rw slugcats because i decided to memorize legend, wind, and warriors’ designs, and all of the slugcats designs)

I AM SO SORRY NOAH!!!! THIS WAS LITERALLY BURIED IN MY ASK BOX!!!!

I've been doing much better than I have been for the past, like, week (if all my posting today hasn't shown that lol).

I LOVE BANANA BREAD!!!! I'm sure it was amazing! I want banana bread now...

Honestly, a botw shirt is literally so cool to wear on picture day.

Ajskhgkdkhs. The pictures. That's literally me 24/7 🤣

For Whumptober, I seriously need to lock in as well. I was hoping to have five fics already written by now, and I haven't even started any of them!!! I'm kinda freaking out about it now 😂 But I think I'm only doing around 10, so it should be fine. I hope that all the writing goes well for you when you do start!! Wishing you the best of luck!!!

[fizzingwizard]

Decided to do this cottagecore ask game. No one tagged me, I'm doing it by myself just for fun :) And I tag whoever else wants to do it for fun haha

Would you rather live in a lone lighthouse that’s overlooking the grey-cool sea, a little cottage in the woods far off the beaten tracks or an old mansion at the outskirts of town with an overgrown garden?

A little cottage in the woods. A lighthouse is too remote and lonely and I'd be scared of storms. Old mansions with overgrown gardens are almost definitely haunted. Now, a little woodland cottage is likely inhabited by a people-eating witch, but I'll be fine as long as I cook her first.

What kind of marmalade or jam is your favourite?

Strawberry jam! Except pb&j which absolutely must be grape.

Botany aside – which flowers would you keep in the window box under your bedroom window?

I like a profusion of color so many kinds. But lately I'm very into lantana.

What does your ideal picnic look like? Which food would you pack, where would you go, who would you ask to join you etc…

My favorite "picnic" is a summer barbecue, does that count? Lol. For a more picturesque sort of picnic, I'd go hanami-style with lots of cold finger foods. I do like sandwiches but prefer rice balls. Hot tea in a thermos if it's spring, lemonade if it's summer.

Another way I love a picnic is at the beach. Then it's mostly the same but plus fresh corn and watermelon.

What’s your favourite recipe?

Impossible to pick, but I'll go with chili because it's so filling and always delicious. Not a very cottagecore answer lol let's call it "spicy forager's stew"

Which pet would you rather have – a lamb, a cat or a hen?

I love cats, but I'm allergic. Had one growing up who I was find with, but every other cat I've ever met has made me so miserable just by existing. I want one though so I'll have to get some allergy meds. I do like the idea of a hen because fresh eggs. And nekoniwa's chickens are so cute

How would you rather spend a day alone – riding a bike into town to go to the farmer’s market followed by a trip to the library or having a walk in the forest followed by a picnic amongst the trees?

I guess I'm not buying anything at the farmer's market if I'm going directly to the library after and can only carry a little on my bike anyway? I will pick the forest walk because there's nothing to tempt me to buy it and I can just bring a book.

Which season is your favourite? Why?

Autumn. The season of winding down. To me autumn is the wisest and most magical season. I always feel like I've come back home in autumn after a spring and summer of running around. Also I love the holidays.

Would you prefer to live on your own, with inner peace or share your cottage/old mansion/lighthouse with a partner?

My dream is a little house away from town with just me and my partner. But only if my partner were as happy being as reclusive and quiet as I am. I enjoy being alone, but I'd rather have the option of being alone sometimes and together sometimes, which I can only have by living with a partner who has a similar temperament.

Name 5 details from your childhood home that you remember fondly – they could be a scenery, an object, a scent…

Christmas lights out my bedroom window The hole in the fence between my house and my best friend's house Barely being able to see the Fourth of July fireworks over the trees but being too lazy to go down the hill for a better view Smell of my mom's banana bread My uncle playing the spoons at New Year's

Which song(s) would you listen to on a golden-slow morning while making breakfast barefoot in the kitchen?

I wouldn't make breakfast barefoot because I'm terrified of hot oil splashing. The song would be this piano cover of Where Is My Mind

The scent of the forest in the morning, the scent of freshly baked bread or the scent of beeswax candles?

Scent of the forest in the morning wakes me up happy, especially if it's after rain

Would not having a connection to the outside world, except for, say, a landline (so no internet, no smartphone etc) be oppressing or liberating to you?

Sorry I'm so internet dependent ;_; But I'm not sure? I've thought of trying to cut myself off for a little while to see if I focus on other things more. But I don't think I could do it for long.

How do you take your tea or coffee? Which blends do you prefer, do you take sugar, milk, cream, lemon etc. Or, if it’s coffee – do you take milk or sugar etc

Hate hate hate coffee. Just the smell makes me sick. Love tea, pretty much all tea - fruit teas can be a little too sweet for me though. I don't pay much attention to what blends I drink. A lot of green tea, and I don't put anything in that. For black tea I add a little sugar. I love cold unsweetened barley tea in summer but apparently that's made from seeds so it's not a real tea :P

Share a treasured childhood memory!

Camping with my friends and having deep 13-year-old girl conversations late into the night

Would you prefer a garden to be aesthetically pleasing with flowers, decorative ponds and statues or practical, with vegetable patches, bean rows and currant bushes…?

Well, both, if possible, but honestly I'm probably gonna screw up the vegetables... so I should probably stick to flowers :P No statues though. Maybe a bird feeder.

Blue early mornings with dew-glittering grass and birdsong or golden late mornings with buzzing bees and the sun tangled in your curtains?

Impossible to pick, gimme gimme gimme

Which book would you read on a lazy day while rain and wind dance outside?

Jane Eyre

Knitting, embroidery or crocheting?

Can't do any of the above but I sure admire people who can

Name 5 details you long for in your dream home – they could be objects, architectonical features, etc

I really, really, really want a screened-in veranda <3 An attic with a skylight A garden that magically takes care of itself, lol A recessed book nook and/or play area for kids, I loved the sense of being in a "secret space" growing up Fireflies in the backyard

[hey-hey-j]

tagged by @infini-tree in my first ever tag game! fun!

rules: if you get tagged in this, answer the questions that are written and make sure to swap out one question at the end of it for the next person to answer

*ahem*

1. Are you named after anyone? Nah. My birth name was some random gibberish my mom made up and my chosen name, J, started out as a nickname I went by when said birth name got too hard for people.

2. Do you ever go window shopping on sites like Etsy, and if so, what kinds of things do you look at? Back when I was super into Calico Critters I would go onto the website and click through all the sets I knew I could never buy 😔. My favourites are the super mundane ones like bedrooms, kitchens, and laundry machines because they are the cutest things ever

Look at that little vacuum cleaner 😭

3. What's your choice of listening material when doing stuff? If it's not music, it's a youtube video. My go-to youtube channels to have on in the background are Defunctland, Micarah Tewers, Nexpo, Nick Crowley, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Whang!, and Blameitonjorge

4. Do you use sarcasm? 90% of my brother and my's conversations are just us snarking back and forth at each other so yeah

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Uhhh I guess notable features like hair, jewelry, if they're wearing glasses or not? Most of the time it's clothes.

6. What's your eye color? Brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Both! But if I really had to choose.....happy endings. Scary stories are nice but happy endings keep me going.

8. Any special talents? None. I am very bland 😔.

9. What trait in others draws you to them? I'm drawn to my fellow quiet awkward kids with dorky interests, but alas. In real life I am far too shy and socially awkward to ever approach anyone RIP.

10. What are your hobbies? Drawing, writing, knitting, reading, baking banana bread, biking (fun fact: I'm looking into getting a motorcycle license some day!), alphabetizing my spotify playlists, and transcribing TV Tropes articles for movies I like

11. Do you have any pets? I used to have a dog, an older chihuahua mutt, but we had to give him up a few years back 😔. I miss him dearly.

12. What sports do you play/have played? No thank you!

13. How tall are you? 5'3". Average as it gets.

14. Favourite subject in school? Best class I ever had in high school was an environmental studies course. The teacher was chill and friendly and the projects she had us do were fun :).

15. Dream job? Preferably none, lol. Though in honesty, I do think sometimes that it might be nice to have a job in illustration or comic making, as unfeasible as it may be. The pipe dream fantasy is to be a published graphic novelist, but I..... reeeeally doubt that's happening. Oh well. As long as I can keep making and sharing art here, I'm happy.

tagging @tornrose24 , if you're up for it, and anyone else who wants to do it!

and I'm changing #4 to: Do you like a song for its sound or for its lyrics?

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ thursday 19th of december

⋆˙⟡

can confirm : worst day of my life. i woke up and i told myself, ur so sick and genuinely didn’t sleep at all, today food is your fuel. it’s a sad reality im shameful i really am, but you have to understand i needed to get to college today

at 4:50 am i had breakfast, i took no photos because i felt such deep shame, i was calling with eli and i remember saying that my tray looked like i was in recovery cause of the volume. i wanna cry just thinking about it. i didn’t count cause i knew i would end it all

breakfast :

some leftovers from yesterday, less than yesterday though.

1 slices of bread with chicken meat on it, also had ketchup and mayo.

a banana, 2 lotus cookies, and some kind of other sweet cookie thing

maybe 10 g of paprika potato chips ?

it made me feel bad eating, i actually really didn’t want to. i got dressed 3x slower than usual, everything hurt so bad. soso bad. i tried zipping up my jacket when i left the house and i literally couldn’t and i was so mad it woke my dad up and he zipped it up for me sigh…

i went to school and i fell asleep in the train, haku called me awake tho. i walked so slow haku later told me it actually pissed him off but he knew it couldn’t be helped…

during college i didn’t do much, i coloured some of my animation cause my hands were too shaky to continue on lineart, it all hurt so bad. i watched rupauls drag race with haku, which was funny

i went home and when i was walking i literally felt so terrible , just as terrible as when i fasted for 70 hours or when i started doing 500 cal omad at START WEIGHT.. that was so bad lol

we went to the amazing oriental and i got 2 onigiri’s and a sweet roll thing. the pack had 2 of those so i gave haku one. eli sent me some money so i didn’t feel guilty spending the money lol

then i went home in the train, and afterwards i took the bus cause thank lord himself i already had 10k steps by then and i still did get extra steps cause my busses changed and now the bus that stops the closest to my house is still 10-15 mins away

got home exhausted tired and barely conscious sadly. i had a little autistic meltdown trying to get undressed i literally broke one of the buttons on my jacket mmm..

dinner :

1 tuna onigiri, 1 salmon onigiri, one vanilla cream sweet roll thing

the onigiri’s were so good ! i love eating it super cold it’s delicious. the sweet rolls were like, super fluffy like cloud bread and the cream was so sweeeeet and delicious

dinner 2 :

3 1/8’th slices of pepperoni pizza, 2 kinder bueno sticks

yeah so i only wanted to eat the last kinder bueno we had, it was going to be a long time since i would have those again, im not buying myself anything like that unless my parents or someone else buys it for me of THEIR will, i will not ask anyone for it. but my mom got a bit upset at me and told me she didn’t believe i had food and urged me to grab something so i did i dont know why i didn’t make a fuss

i should’ve flushed it, but i felt so disgustingly defeated.. so i just ate it. i thought “fuck it, i already fucked up enough, might as well eat fucking pizza at this point”

i fell asleep soon after eating that, makeup on, lashes on, contacts in… i woke up at 12 am feeling refreshed. i cleaned my face and took out my contacts and i watched reels until 2 am. i couldn’t stop sending haku reels and he literally said “go to sleep” and i was like ahaha… okaay… so i went to sleep

im kind of disappointed in myself, but i also can’t blame myself. the day before i totally overdid myself running a whole ass marathon and then not getting any sleep it was crazy. i don’t know what possessed me… but. it’s fine. days start fresh i guess.

only the last thigh picture was taken recently, the rest are all just recents, and the before pictures were all taken in the high 70 kgs… 75-79 kg range… it’s all so terrible…

cals : N.V.T but too many sigh

steps : 12.1 k

love her

⋆˙⟡

[boil3deggs]

121524

Foods I’m excited to eat over the holidays, and therefore, will eat! We should eat things we enjoy :))

- pozole (so warm, and hearty and filling!!)

- banana bread

- over-easy eggs

- scramble eggs

- soft boiled eggs

- honestly just eggs that aren’t boiled to death because that’s the only way the cafeteria here cooks them

- miso soup (all soups, I miss soups)

- lots and lots and lots of fruit!

- cobbler

- a ginormous salad with everything in it (grains, nuts, fruit etc etc)

- properly cooked beans and rice

- soymilk

- SMOOTHIES

- lefse made by my Aunty (without butter though, I simply can’t afford that. Maybe with some hummus or something)

- curry made the way I like it!

- dates and prunes and dried mango

- loads and loads of pickled vegetables and fermented foods

Holiday food I’m not especially excited to eat, and therefore WON’T eat, even if I feel pressured too -

- any prepackaged cookie/sweet/pie. It’s never as good as it looks to be.

- anything with excessive amounts of dairy. Might be yummy but it’s not worth the breakouts and joint inflammation

- crackers. Maybe it’s the autism. Saltines aren’t even that good. I’ll have some, but in moderation. Not an entire sleeve.

- the cheap, instant type of hot cocoa. Just kinda lame and not worth the calories.

- garlic bread. Just never worth it. I’ll enjoy the smell instead.

- oily vegetables. Just ew. Some people don’t know how to cook.

- takeout/fast food/mediocre restaurant food. I’m an adult now. I don’t have to finish something on my plate if I don’t like it. It’s okay to be a picky eater.

- calorie dense and mid “healthy” packaged snacks. Basically all the little vegan treats my mom always gets from Costco. Again, highly processed, not even that good, and I know how to bake. I can make my own stuff and make it better.

- sushi. The sushi where I live is just better. Why would I waste a meal and money on sushi in a landlocked state when I could get cheaper better stuff at home?

- mashed potatoes. I can make them without butter and with more flavor at home. I don’t trust other people’s mashed potatoes. Or like, any sort of mash/casserole/dish where you can’t distinguish the ingredients

- anything super duper sweet (read: not dark) chocolate/candies. How old am I? 8 years old? No. Eat like an adult.

- fried food. Just not a big fan tbh. My family doesn’t really cook fried food though so idk why I’m including this.

- gingerbread. Not to be a hater. I just don’t like it.

- the pumpkin bread I always bake over the holidays. It’s delicious but just too heavy, and it always makes me break out. I can always just use the spice mix and make oats with it instead :)

- overcooked pasta (my family always overcooks it for some reason) with red sauce (I don’t like red sauce)

I think that’s it? It’s weird, I’m so excited to eat food but honestly I’m a little surprised by the stuff I’m craving. I want pickled vegetables and soups and fruits, not junk, this year around. I think the fast fixed my gut microbiome lol.

I might still destroy a sleeve or two of saltines, or an entire bag of mini pretzels. Bland crunchy snacks have been my favorites lately :) some popcorn would go pretty hard too.

I’m curious to hear what type of foods other people like around the holidays.

[iantimony]

tuesdaypost

marginally less depressed this week

listening: I made a playlist called "indiana mentioned" that is just. songs that mention indiana. found some of them organically, some through genius lyrics. once it's more complete I will post a link.

pale green things - the mountain goats

applesauce - sam.sts

still on relistening to the dear hunter acts.

reading: reread panting like a dog at the edge of your bed by bloodletter now that it's finished, as well as some of their newer works that I'd missed. really really fucking good.

watching: bernadette banner's "using 18th century corsetry to drape a flowy gown"

playing: I should really retire this section for a bit. I haven't been doing dnd lately because of aforementioned depression but I will be running it again this Saturday.

making: forgot to go to the studio before Thanksgiving week so I won't be able to see any of my kiln output til the weekend :-( I did go back to life drawing yesterday though!

here is the switch dustcover (see mentioned sad playing section lol)…it's fine. kinda boring. might dismantle and do more pieces do it for variation.

also started some holiday card linocut sketches. will be starting that soon.

am continuing to hang up paintings. so close. finally put up The Big One (my favorite, a clown my mom did as a child), I have a few miscellaneous ones that I have to command strip up because parts of my apartment are drywall directly over brick and I am out of command strips so that's in my miscellaneous home goods purchase for the week. I also want to hang the expensive quilt I impulse bought from a temple fundraiser last year but I am still figuring out the logistics of it (I have a curtain rod but the width of it isn't fix-able so if I try to hang it by a rope it scrunches up…)

eating: there was a thanksgiving potluck for my department last week and we got supplied rotisserie chickens! I brought one home to shred and made deli style cranberry chicken salad with the leftover meat and used the bits and bones to make 10 cups of chicken broth !!!!! let that bad boy simmer for like six hours lol, I tossed it in with some frozen veg that I've had waiting for stock purposes (mostly celery and beet/radish greens), as well as some fresh ginger, peppercorns, bay leaves, a whole onion, and some baby carrots! so I'm going to slowly freeze that in one cup cubes (I love my souper cubes…) to have in reserve in my freezer.

I also made my favorite banana bread recipe which I think is originally from here but I have made modifications (cut the sugar in half!!! and I added choccy chips and slivered almonds and shredded coconut, and replaced the oil with half butter half oil, I also didn't do it in a ziplock I find that annoying I just do dishes lol).

the soup pre-straining:

misc: I won a bottle of wine and a pizza gift card at a temple fundraiser via raffle tickets so at least I have that going for me

[meditating-dog-lover]

Health update

My skin is looking better and I feel better. I haven't used steroids in a week and a half. I got some inflammation today. Probably because I haven't used steroids and possibly due to rising progesterone during the luteal phase (apparently may trigger some inflammation but I'm not 100% sure here).

My neck and ear infections disappeared 95%. My face does have some rashes, but nowhere near as bad as it was 2-4 weeks ago.

My hands may be inflamed, but look great for skin that hasn't been treated with steroids in a week and a half. I couldn't go a week without steroids or protopic since March.

I know fasting for too long made my inflammation way worse. It leads me to believe that ultimately, my eczema has a stress/hormone root cause (besides genetics of course). I'm meeting with an OBGYN next week to ask about how hormones play a role in inflammation. I'm not crazy about the idea of birth control, but I can ask about supplements like Vitex, chasteberry and DIM to see if they can help. In general being in charge of my hormonal health can be very helpful, especially in the context of stress and skin inflammation. I know reducing steroid use and not fasting and reducing stress and following an anti-inflammatory diet will also help with blood sugar and insulin resistance. We associate eating sugar and junk with blood sugar imbalances. But chronic stress and medication can elevate blood sugar. Such as prolonged fasting and steroids.

I've been eating a banana each morning. I'm taking a break from fasting, but am breaking my fast with a healthy carb. I now also have a lot of energy and can go for daily walks of 11k steps.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow and I hope that goes well. I'm also seeing my therapist and plan to go more often, because I need it lol.

I want to eventually focus on gut heath and see a dentist. I want to go with my mom. I'm going to speak to my therapist about this. I don't like dentists and feel like they either recommend treatments that are unnecessary or know nothing about health in general. Ask a dentist if they know what vitamin K2 is and watch them give you a confused look. I know fat soluble vitamins and minerals are great for teeth. Unfortunately I do have issues with malabsorption, which prevents me from absorbing enough nutrients from food and supplements. I know this has an impact, which is why gut health here is important. I'm taking my enzymes and drinking aloe juice, but I'll see how this goes and if I need to modify my protocol.

Another good thing - by following my anti-inflammatory diet, I'm avoiding foods that have hidden sugars (which are inflammatory by nature). These include sauces, sandwiches, breads, pizza, fried/breaded foods, processed cheeses, white pastas, etc... Some other foods like instant oatmeal, yogurt, non-dairy milks and coffee do too. But I get those unsweetened. With that, I'm consuming less sugar and am reducing my cravings for sugar in general. I do eat chocolate sweets, but in small portions (I tend to stick to 70% dark chocolate). I had a mocha last week and 1/4 of a semi-sweet Crumbl cookie and some dark chocolate caramel pieces. I keep the portion sizes small. I lost my cravings for sugary baked goods like cookies and brownies in large portions (I had a brownie with my mom last month when I ordered pizza and it just felt too sweet an decadent, that I had to have a healthy dinner afterwards instead of pizza). So a small piece will do (like the 1/4 cookie). I know this helps a lot with things like blood sugar and insulin resistance and even teeth. I do have a sweet tooth and I satisfy it with 70% chocolate because I love chocolate. But I keep <70% chocolate and baked goods and mochas to a minimum. I do have them but in smaller portions, thanks to my new diet which reduces my intake of hidden sugars, and I don't even feel deprived. I do get sauces that use avocado and olive oil as bases (like mayo) and I found an app that shows local restaurants that don't use inflammatory seed oils.

I'm feeling better now. I'm just worried about my skin because I'm worried about future flares and things getting worse. But I'm seeing overall improvement. And I'll go see the psychologist and dentist with my mom in the future, which is also causing me stress.