#modern meme advice dog

[twigsyy]

Guidance Hound

[targaryen-dynasty]

LOVE ME TOMORROW (aka Stay)

Part 2

modern!Aemond Targaryen x best friend!Reader

You always thought the benefits part only included sex, but with Aemond it also seems to include cuddling, life advice and breakfast.

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT–MINORS DNI; profanity, p in v, missionary, doggy style, choking, degrading, humiliating, unprotected sex, size kink, slight breeding kink, praise kink, rough sex, friends with benefits kinda turning into a relationship, fluff, teasing, jealous Aemond Targaryen, female Reader

WORDS: 3.5 k

NOTES: Used a prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting for this. Smut below the cut.

The thing between you and Aemond had been going on for roughly five months at this point. Was it even a thing? You both were hooking up with each other whenever you felt like it. Sometimes it was only one message a week exchanged between your two, other times it was seven. That usually depended on how busy you both were with college, or how badly one of you needed a distraction from it. And you always kept things casual.

But weirdly, some things had turned into habits you both did not bother to address. 

Whenever Aemond and you hooked up at your place, he tended to stay a little longer than anticipated, like one-movie-and-two-rounds-of-fucking long. You always thought the benefits part of being friends with benefits only included sex, but with Aemond it also seemed to include cuddling and life advice.

Another weird habit was that the both of you never seemed to settle on just watching movies anymore, and instead did the most domestic things together. The movie was just to give you both some background noises, whilst you showed him some funny memes or he decided to rant about whatever pissed him off that day. 

So, technically, your friends with benefits situationship was dangerously close to turning into a relationship. 

But neither of you felt bold enough to bring the topic up, the fear of being rejected by the other one far too big. It was a high risk to take, considering you both enjoyed each other’s company. 

Those habits also were the main reason the blonde boy was currently laying in your bed with one arm crossed behind his head and his other snaking behind your neck with his hand anchored at your shoulder to keep your body comfortably nestled against his. His fingers were fidgeting with the fabric of the oversized t-shirt you wore. His t-shirt. 

It was one of the evenings he complained about his older brother Aegon, listing all the things Aemond deemed were going wrong in Aegon’s life, whilst you drew lazy patterns on his naked torso, your index finger carefully following the sharp outlines of his abs. “Are you even listening?“ The baritone of his voice cut in, catching your attention. “I–yeah… sure,“ you stressed, tilting your head upwards to look at him with a concerned frown on your forehead.  

You were flashing him your biggest puppy dog eyes as an attempt to convince him, but Aemond did not seem to buy your lies. “What is it?“ With the way he sighed ever so slightly before asking the question, you were sure he was disappointed he had spent the past 15 minutes of his life telling you stuff you didn’t even care about. And considering how quiet he was the first days and nights you had spent alongside each other, you couldn’t even be mad at him. He trusted you–coming out of his tough shell.

“It’s just…,“ you shifted next to him in order to sit up and be able to perfectly meet his eye. Your thumb and index finger pinched the bridge of your nose, and with a desperate sigh leaving your lips, it was sure the next words weren’t leaving your mouth too easily, “…I met Jace at the frat party yesterday.“ 

The clenching of Aemond’s jaw at the mere mention of your ex-boyfriend was perfectly visible, and a reaction you knew was coming. It always did whenever you mentioned him, even though you had only talked about him briefly before and only once your situationship with Aemond became a bit more serious, teetering on the edge of turning into a relationship. 

Despite your sitting position, Aemond kept his hand on your shoulder, but it was short of being gentle and soft with his fingers slightly digging into your flesh–another indicator that he was all but pleased about the mention of your ex. You weren’t even sure why he acted that way whenever the topic came up, but you always blamed it on Aemond not wanting to talk about things that were threatening to deepen your relationship. Juxtaposing his urge to talk about his family issues, though.

“And what did he want?“ He asked, stern eye fixed with yours. 

Aemond was intense. In everything he did. And as of right now, it was the intensity of his gaze that had your composure crumbling, resulting in you fidgeting with your fingers in order to pull your thoughts away from him. You didn’t notice your head bowing forwards in what one could capture as submission, too eager to please and succumb to his happiness.

“Oh, y–you know…,” you stammered, knowing that everything you said brought you even deeper down the rabbit hole.” … he just asked if we could be friends again.“ And those words alone had him snorting out, a sound you rarely heard from Aemond, and with him raising his eyebrows, you knew he expected you to keep talking–to enlighten him. And you did just that, trying to mend his anger. 

“I told him I wasn’t sure and that I had to think about it… but he apologized and said he was sorry for how things ended between us.“ This time it was Aemond pinching the bridge of his nose, followed by a loud sighing. Much to your own surprise, his reaction offended you, because he was in no position to judge you for the way you led your life. 

“What’s this about? Why are you pissed now?“ You hissed, crossing your arms in frustration. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re too naive if you think he just wants to be your friend,“ he said, rubbing the palm of his hand over his face. The calmness in his voice was surprising but eerily calming, yet you knew when not to trust it, despite it helping to slow down your irritated heartbeat. 

Of course, he was right, and deep down you knew it, but Jace still had you in a chokehold, even if you did not like to admit it. It wasn’t because of how well your relationship with him went, because it just didn’t. It was messy and short-lived with him treating you like an option, and in the six months you’d dated, he managed to do enough bullshit to fuck with your mind and permanently scar your soul. 

That was the reason you kind of got involved with Aemond so quickly after the break-up. During your first hookups, you thought there were many similarities between him and Jace, and that somehow did the trick and lured you in. But over time, you came to the realization that Aemond was far from being a monster like the brunette, especially once he chose to let his guard down around you and show you the soft and gentle man that laid beneath the tough shell.

And that certainly convinced you to stay, that side of him granting you a whole lot of comfort and stability, something you had desperately craved.

Your mouth opened and closed, visibly fighting for anything to say–but then it dawned you. 

“Aemond Targaryen, are you fucking jealous of my ex?“ You asked with raised eyebrows, biting the insides of your cheeks to stop the corners of your lips from quirking into a wide grin before continuing, “if that’s meant to make me feel better about myself, it’s definitely not working, you imbecile.“ A swift and gentle blow to his right shoulder had him scoffing, raising both his hands in defense and shifting to prop himself up against the headboard of your large bed. 

“Come on, Y/N, don’t spin it around like I am the bad guy right now,“ he warned, though amusement was laced within his voice, “it’s just the truth. You never had anything good to say about that asshole. And where was he the past few months, mh? He just crawls out of his fucking hole and expects you to forgive him,” he certainly had a point. “If you’re doing that, you’re way dumber than I’ve expected you to be.“ That was harsh, and by the way he immediately reached for your wrist to pull you onto his lap with your head resting against his chest and his muscular arms wrapped around you, large hands splaying out over the entirety of your waist, you were sure he knew the effects of his words.

“Listen,“ his raspy voice rang out, and with your ear being pressed to his chest, you could hear the words rumbling within the depths of it. “If you fall for that fucking asshole again, I will not be there to comfort you, when he does the same shit he did before.“ 

You tried to wiggle your way out of Aemond's strong embrace to sit back up–oblivious to the position you already were in–but to no avail. His arms kept you locked in place and you actually did not really bother. 

“Why do you even care, Aemond? It’s not like we’re doing more than hooking up to fuck. You aren’t even supposed to stay so much longer afterwards,“ you huffed, words slightly muffled with your cheek against his chest. What you couldn’t see in your position was the wide smirk that was plastered across his chiseled features, almost a bit cocky and devious. 

“Well, do you want me to leave, baby?“ The pet name was solely meant to tease you, obvious in the way he emphasized it with a squeeze of your flesh.

You huffed in annoyance at his question, and in an instant, Aemond had you both flipped over, so he was towering above you with your legs still wrapped around his waist and your hair splayed out over the pillow beneath your head. 

“God, I fucking hate you, Aem,“ you groaned in despair. He knew just how difficult it was for you to resist his charm. And you enjoyed his company, so why would you want him to leave? Deep down you wanted him to stay even longer, perhaps even crashing at your place. Breakfast together didn’t sound too bad after all. 

His fingertips danced along the outsides of your exposed thighs, the hem of the shirt rucked up around your waist. And in that moment, you thanked the Seven you had been too lazy to put your panties back on after your last round of fucking, leaving you only in his oversized shirt and him in nothing more than a pair of black boxer briefs, which already were visibly strained in the front, the outline of his hard member visible. He clearly was enjoying the teasing. 

“You have a weird way of showing that, Y/N,“ the blonde teased, and his lips found your neck, nippling on the skin and eliciting a groan to fall past your lips–undetermined if it was out of annoyance because of his cockiness or sheer impatience. 

Tilting your head to the side, you granted him more access to one of your most sensitive spots in the curve where your shoulder and neck met, moaning as he started to suck and nibble on it. 

“Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you,“ you taunted him, a high pitched moan leaving your lips as his teeth harshly dug into your flesh. You were not thinking about the consequences of his jealousy, and as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thighs to silence you, you couldn’t stop yourself from rocking your pussy against his still clothed cock. 

Now it was him moaning, sounding as delicious as ever. 

Your fingers found the hem of his boxers, hooking beneath to pull on it, only to let it snap back against his skin. He sucked in a sharp breath and thrusted his length against your core. 

“Such a fucking tease,” his voice had dropped an octave, thick with arousal and sending a shiver straight down to the soles of your feet as it fanned over your neck. You desperately tried to push his underwear down and free his hard cock, so you could grab it and stroke it, but Aemond stopped your hand from trailing south. “And as impatient as always.” You couldn’t see his face, but the smug grin on his lips was perfectly audible. 

It was meant to make you unsure and shy, but you weren’t afraid to admit your attraction towards him, “oh, you know that’s the effect you have on me.“ That seemed to please him, judging by the content ‘mh’ that rumbled in the depth of his chest. 

One of his hands clasped around your throat, applying just a bit of pressure, before his lips were on yours in a searing kiss. His tongue was prying your lips apart, slipping past them to deepen the kiss even more, and drink down every whimper you made whenever he rutted his hips against yours, teasing your sensitive cunt. 

With yourself still being a bit overstimulated from all the times he had taken you before, you couldn’t stop yourself from squirming, his large hand landing on your thigh determined to keep you neatly locked in place and right where he wanted you. 

You both pulled back to catch your breaths, and Aemond was quick to shimmy out of his boxers. You were right. He was rock hard, his heavy cock standing to full attention, bobbing with each movement, and the protruding vein running along the underside of it as prominent as ever. Your mouth watered at the thought of tracing it with your tongue like you always did when sucking him off, his heavy breathing and raspy groans echoing in the back of your head. 

In an instant, Aemond was back between your parted legs, connecting your lips once again. His cock was captured between your bodies with his balls pressed to your cunt, covering them in your arousal. Every time he shifted his hips, he dragged the base of his cock along your clit, granting you bolts of pleasure that still weren’t enough for you. 

As he took in a deep breath, he rested his forehead against yours, but your whiney voice had him withdrawing to get a better look of you. “Aem,“ you begged, your eyes appearing glassy in the dim light of your room, “I need you… please.“ It sounded far more desperate than intended, but he got the point. 

His usually lilac eye was dark blown with lust, the beautiful color reduced to nothing else than a thin ring, and raked over your body. Despite wearing his shirt, you felt completely exposed to him. The intensity of his gaze always did that to you. 

Aemond sat back on his haunches and grabbed his shaft, dragging it through your folds to gather some of your arousal and use it as lubricant, fisting himself despite already being rock hard. “You’re soaked, Y/N,” he remarked, and even though he kept his head bowed downward to watch the movements of his own hand and a few strands of blonde hair covered his features, you could see the ghost of a smirk dancing along his lips. “All this for me, huh? So eager to be fucked by me again. You’re insatiable,” this elicited a whine from you, thighs and stomach clenching as you couldn’t wait any longer.

He aligned the tip of his cock with your entrance and practically forced himself into you. You should have been used to his girth by now, and more to the painful stretch that followed along with him sliding in, but you weren’t. 

You both moaned in unison with your walls clenching tightly around him–engulfing him–until he completely bottomed out, his balls pressing flush against your soppy cunt. “Seems like me being jealous is quite the great motivator for you as well, mh?“ his voice was strained, indicating how much he fought to restrain himself from recklessly pounding into you–at least for a few seconds to give you some time to adjust to his size. 

You were filled to the brim with his thick cock, the sensation leaving you little space to form any coherent thoughts, hence your lack of reply. The blonde did not seem to care. “Oh, sweetheart, I haven’t even moved and you’re already drunk from my cock? A bit pathetic, don’t you think?“ 

“C-Can you move, now?“ You half begged and half demanded, the crimson covering your cheeks had Aemond chuckling out. 

But he complied immediately, thrusting his hips in and out of you at a rather languid pace. Each movement he made had his muscles flexing, a sheen of sweat covering his pale skin and highlighting them even more. 

Your head tipped back into the pillows whenever the tip of his cock brushed your sweet spot, the familiar sensation of seeing stars pushing you into a kind of overdrive. “Just–just like that,“ you hiccuped between particularly harsh thrusts of him, spurring him on even more. 

Aemond’s thrusts grew quicker and sharper with each passing second, coaxing little ‘uh’s and ‘oh’s’ out of you, until he was all but pounding into you, the headboard of your bed repeatedly bumping against the wall of your bedroom in sync with his movements.

At some point, the sounds of skin slapping on skin and your moans and whines were the only sounds bouncing off the walls, turning the whole scene even more lewd than it already was. 

When Aemond grabbed you to flip you onto your belly, you squealed in surprise but were shushed by him easing his cock back into you right away, resuming the merciless pace he had set up before. 

“You, fuck, take me so fucking well,“ his raspy voice cooed, and by the way he shifted behind you, you knew he was watching the way his cock repeatedly disappeared into your tight cunt. The praise went straight to your head, having you biting your bottom lip in a sheepish manner, whimpering a ‘thank you.’ It was the first time he praised you, and the tingling in the pit of your belly was enough confirmation for you to know you liked it. 

His next movements caught you by surprise, being something he had never done before. 

His large hand entangled into the tresses of your hair, wrapping it around its palm, and he used the grip to roughly pull you onto your knees with your back pressed flush against his sweaty chest. With one arm around your waist and his other coming from your hair to clasp around your throat to apply a good bit of pressure to it, he supported your small frame and kept you in place, keeping you steady so he was able to snap his hips into yours. 

The new angle was immaculate, allowing him to pistone even deeper into you, impaling you on his cock as you were sure it was threatening to come out of your throat at any given moment. You tipped your head back against his shoulder, and Aemond turned his own to press his lips to your cheek in a sloppy kiss.

He was doing all the work, but you couldn’t care less. It felt amazing. Your whole body was on fire, sending you into a frenzy. It was almost too much for you to remember the rules you both had set up at the start of your situationship, one of said rules being you asking for his permission to come. “’M close, Aem,“ you whined, turning your head for him to kiss your lips instead, “can I–can I come?“ You felt your orgasm approaching you rather quickly, almost too quick for your liking, but lucky for you, Aemond was just as quick to reply.

“Yes, go on, Y/N, cum for me,“ he all but commanded you, “soak my fucking cock.“ And with that, the coil in your belly tightened and snapped, your walls convulsing around him. 

Your release seemed to trigger his own, because shortly after, Aemond was spending himself inside of your quivering walls, painting them from the inside. His thrusts did not falter once, fucking his load so deep inside of you, you’d have been sure he got you pregnant if it wasn’t for you being on birth control. 

Only once both your aftershocks subsided, leaving you a panting mess, Aemond let go of you to let you settle in the cushions belly first, resulting in him pulling out of you. It was the cold air hitting his flaccid cock for him, and the sudden feeling of emptiness for you, but you both winced almost simultaneously, grimacing at the loss. 

Aemond hesitated to move for a few seconds, too mesmerized watching how torrents of his seed slowly seeped out of your assaulted core, dribbling over your overstimulated clit down onto the sheets. He groaned, and if it wasn’t for him being utterly fucked out, he would’ve turned hard straight away again.  

As he eventually fell down into the vacant spot next to you, his hand found your ass right away, roughly groping the flesh, whilst he leant over you to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “That was fucking amazing.“

Your reply was muffled by the pillows, because obviously you needed a few seconds to regain your composure and come back to your senses. But his following question worked wonders to speed up the process, causing you to roll on your side and face him. 

“Will you go on a date with me?“

The heat in your body returned, but it was more bearable than before–mostly spreading to your cheeks and neck–despite his eye carefully watching your every move, gauging your reaction.  

“Only if you stay the night.“

[cyborg-franky]

Comforting their partner

I think I needed this myself, who knows.

MODERN AU - SFW Ace x GN Reader Marco x GN Reader Rosi/Corazon x GN Reader

Ace

You’d been exchanging texts with Ace all day, and he knew you weren’t in a good place—stressed, tired, and burnt out. He spent most of his day sending you pictures of Stefan, his father's dog, and a large selection of dumb selfies and memes he’d collected.

It made you smile, made everything just a little less heavy to know he was right there for you even if you couldn't see him. You were so swamped with your chores and work that free time slipped through your fingers, leaving you further fatigued. 

You lay in bed, staring at your TV, feeling so sorry for yourself. Things just kept piling up, and you were about to burst from how much you stuffed down and pushed aside. Tears prick the corner of your eyes. You bit your lip, not wanting to just burst into tears. You looked at your phone and saw nothing. Ace hadn’t replied in over ten minutes.

Maybe he’d finally passed out or was playing another game with his brothers.

You could feel the sadness creeping in until there was a tapping on your window. You opened your eyes and stared at your curtains. The same tapping happened again, and you sat up, pulling them open and almost jumping. 

Ace was outside your window, having climbed the tree. He was waving with a huge grin on his face.

“The fuck, Ace?” you huffed at him when you opened the window, and he slid in, getting his foot stuck and falling onto the bed below with a laugh and looking up at you. “Well, sounded like you needed a shoulder to cry on,” he shrugged from where he was making himself comfortable on your bed, kicking off his boots. Both of you wincing when they thudded to the floor. 

You sighed, your anger melting away as he held his arms up. He made grabby hands as you slowly leaned in, letting Ace grab you and pull you down against him. He cuddled you up to his side, your head against his chest, and you heard the rumble of his voice and his heartbeat. You closed your eyes when you felt fingers running through your hair.

“You wanna talk about it some more?” he asked, and you shook your head, draping an arm over his waist and sighing, breathing in his smell. It was always comforting, like a warm fire on a cold night.

“Alright, wanna watch funny videos?” he suggested, and you nodded. He got comfy, arm around you, and phone in a position you could both watch. 

The night ended up in your boyfriend's arms, just the two of you, silly videos to entertain you and take you away from your troubled thoughts.

Marco

He’d been texting you when he got a spare moment at work and worried about how you felt. He felt bad he couldn’t duck out of work to come, scoop you up in his arms, and kiss the bad thoughts away.

But he listened to you, let you vent, and even gave advice when you asked for it.

Thanks to Marco, you were currently watching a comfort show, curled up on the sofa and cuddled up in blankets as you tried to let the show distract you enough. Every so often, you’d message him. He checked in on his breaks, and although Marco wasn’t here with you, you felt connected and cared for anyway. He spoke so soothingly and calmly, like a soft breeze.

It was evening by the time he came over, knocking on the door andamiling at you, his half-lidded eyes full of love as he leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Come on, let's go for a ride,” he said, his car still running on the drive. You could hear his music faintly from the open window.

“Okay, where?” you asked as you grabbed your phone and keys and locked up. “Just around.” 

The wind ran through your hair, his hand on your thigh, and you both listened to your music as you cruised through the peaceful evening. You were just happy in one another's company, letting the night and his comforting aura chase away the sadness. 

He knew how much you needed to get away from the noise of the world around you, driving a little ways from the city, where the stars twinkled in the sky brighter than you were used to.

You soon pulled up to a late-night food place. Marco killed the engine, the music shutting off as he nodded for you to get out. “Let's get something to eat, or at least a coffee, yoi.” Marco smiled at you before getting out of the car.

Sitting in a quiet corner of the cafe, you both shared a plate of fries, not feeling super hungry. You sipped your drink of choice as he drank his coffee.

“So, want to tell me about what happened today?” he asked, his hand reaching across the table to find yours. The weight of his larger hand on yours calmed your jumbled mind enough to pick through the mental clutter. “Well… so this happened today, and I just am struggling with it… It’s silly though.” You said with a dry chuckle, thinking he would judge you for how dumb it was, how it didn’t feel like a real problem.

“Hey,” he squeezed your hand. “If it upset you, it’s not silly, okay?” You paused, thinking his words over, seeing the warmth of his smile. “Okay,” you nodded and talked it out with him.

Rosinante

He knew you’d had a rough time at work today; everything that could go wrong had. You were tired, exhausted, and struggling to deal with it. You messaged him on your lunch break, not wanting to vocalize what was wrong, just taking comfort in his messages.

All the heart emojis and silly selfies of him making a half-heart with his fingers, his big charming grin filling the screen as he beamed brightly. You sent one back, completing the heart he was sweet.

When you got home, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, the bad feelings dragging you down, making your feet feel heavier. You opened the door and took a deep breath, trying to feel better about just being home and away from the job that stressed you out,

“Hey!” Rosi said, a smile on his handsome face as he stood up, towering over you. He pulled you into a hug, keeping you close and not letting go. He didn’t want to pull away first. He wanted to give you the hug you needed.

When you managed to fight the urge to cry, you peered up at him and got a kiss on the forehead.

“I have something to cheer you up…” He said with a wink. Pulling away, he nodded to the basket on the table.

You looked through it: comfort snacks you loved, a movie you wanted to see for ages, and other little bits and pieces that he knew you loved, including a plushie you held to your chest and smiled back at him. “Thank you so much, Rosi. I love you.” I love you too, and I hope it helps even a little!

You spent the evening cuddled on the sofa, happily eating your snacks, wrapped in a blanket, watching the movie he’d bought. Rosi gently rubbed your leg, trailing fingertips up and down your skin to keep you relaxed and calm.

He knew you’d talk about it when you were ready. He was never the type to push or ask, knowing that when you felt up to it, you’d talk it out with him, and when you were ready to share, he was ready to help you. He took your hand and brought it to his face, kissing your knuckles. “How do you feel?”

“Much better, thank you.”

[wyndowpane]

LOTR in a modern world headcanons? I think yes.

I did this on one of my old accounts that i ended up deleting for some reason, i don’t remember, but here. Back on my Lord Of The Rings BS, let’s gooooo. This’ll be the fellowship with everyone intact, no one is dead.

As always requests are open and let me know if you want more!

LOTR x GN! Reader, general headcanons for if you had to take care of them today, in 2023. Enjoy!

The ring most likely has no power in this dimension, so yay Frodo is free from torment!

Sam loves watching cooking, gardening and home renovation shows, and he gets very invested in the former two. You learn a lot you didn’t really need to know from his commentary

Once Pippin learns about pyjamas and fuzzy slippers he never goes back, you literally cannot get him out of them

Boromir and Aragorn, being human and coincidentally two of the most responsible members of the fellowship, are the easiest to take in public to the grocery store and such.

You can pass off the hobbits (if they cover their ears with their hair) as children, and Gimli is your friend with dwarfism.

Gandalf you can pass off as your grandfather, and Legolas looks pretty normal if you cover his ears.

Pippin is the type to bounce in his seat in the car and ask “Are we there yet?!” every 5 minutes

Frodo really likes to draw, especially when there’s so many cool places and movies to draw inspiration from.

Movie nights? No horrors. The hobbits are terrified by ‘em.

Movie nights are literally so difficult because they all have such different tastes

Merry really likes James Bond movies.

Pippin is obsessed with nail polish when you introduce him to it. Boromir gets his repainted every time the polish come off. His nails need serious help after a while

Pippin and Merry often start pillow fights, and drag everyone else into it

If you have space for a garden or plants in your home, Sam is on it. He finds it calming, so now you have some home grown plants :)

Taking the hobbits in public? Bad idea. You can trust Frodo and Sam, but Merry inevitably drags Pippin off to do something dumb and possibly dangerous.

Gandalf has an old man rocker. There is no discussion.

The hobbits do the classic “getting one sibling to ask for fast food because whoever’s in charge will say yes”, they get Frodo to do this because he has the best puppy dog face and he’s unsure about asking for things normally.

Pippin and Merry cannot handle too much caffeine or sugar or they go crazy

You thought Legolas’ hair was good before? He steals your hair care products and his hair is literally perfect.

(He’s also willing to do skincare with you, not that his face needs it. Again, flawless)

Game nights are so chaotic. You can’t play a lot of games since they don’t know what many things from this world are, so games like Trivia and Charades are off the table

Gimli and Legolas verse each other in video games, often enough it ends with Legolas winning and Gimli rage quitting

Aragorn is so responsible he’s literally the perfect man to do anything with, and he can hold the fort down if you need to leave

Pippin is so clingy, he trails you wherever you go and asks you random questions but it’s adorable

Boromir insists on carrying your stuff, bags of groceries, all that

Frodo often goes to the library to find new books to read, with you of course

There’s a whole debate on whether 3D or 2D animation is better, i would not get involved if i were you.

Pippin and Merry are also avid fans of quoting their favourite movies, once they see them

Legolas and Frodo are the best listeners, they will just sit there and not judge or try to give you advice they just. sit there. like the perfect men they are.

Legolas would have a meme for everything. Like any situation. You text him like “PIPPIN FELL DOWN SOME WELL WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A WELL HELP” and he just has a meme that fits the situation perfectly.

Frodo and Legolas would watch Avatar: The Last Airbender together because it’s their favourite show. Aragorn jumps in also.

Those three are also avid tea drinkers.

Boromir likes Game Of Thrones. I don’t know anything about it, he just does. Please confiscate Pippin while he does.

Pippin gasps dramatically whenever a plot twist surprises him.

Sam loves to cook, and he does a lot of cooking in the house once he arrives. You two just work together in the kitchen (if you can’t cook, he’ll teach you) and have nice sweet conversations

Legolas is great at doing people’s hair. If you ask him to, he’d probably agree, though he’d probably be a bit flustered as that is a courting ritual in his culture.

Ask Legolas to talk to you until you fall asleep. His voice is so heavenly istg-

The hobbits get sleepy when their hair is played with and it’s adorable

Won’t lie this hyperfixation came back then it circled back to TMNT and today i watched these films with my friend and now i’m back to LotR love. Most of this has been sitting in my drafts for a couple weeks.

Anyway, I think that’s about it from me, I hope you guys enjoy! :)

If you want to request, rules are pinned on my page! Let me know if you want a general part two or a set of modern headcanons for a specific character. I love LOTR in the modern world content so much.

Have a good day, and remember that you are loved!

[st-just]

Please tell me you have ideas for what the modern versions of the rest of the Greek Pantheon would look like (and that you'd be willing to share them).

So only for like half of them (I just, do not have thoughts about Poseidon, sorry), and none of these are exactly original (and are all probably overly meanspirited), but for the ones I do-

Zeus - Honestly just want to say 'literally Berlusconi' but that's not that interesting is it?

Hades - Trad-masculinity influencer. Not even as a grift, he owns a mining company or something, he just has a lot of advice to offer young men about dating and how to make women commit.

Apollo - Yeah this one's just going to have to be 'med school golden boy sex pest/future #metoo scandal wherever he gets hired'

Artemis - Has significantly more dogs than human friendships. Takes probably excessive pride in hunting her own meat. Shared a lot of 'humanity are the real virus' memes during lockdown, and still hasn't gotten vaxed because big pharma. Probably not online enough to be an actual terf but like, the spirit's there.

Hermes - Thoughtleading Thinkfluencer tweeted and instagramed and youtubed and substacked his way into relevance despite zero expertise in anything except brand-building and now he's got a podcast with a six-digit subscriber count. Actually very funny, but has definitely dunked on numerous people with his million-follower twitter account and basically ruined their lives.

Aphordite - okay this one's just obvious. Beauty vlogger and tiktok star and the picture next to 'toxic femininity' in the dictionary. #girldinner #girlmath #coquette etc. Directly responsible for at least a dozen eating disorders.

Ares - from everything my friend whose really into it has ever said, he would 100% be an MMA guy, or at least a former one. Like, Joe Rogan wannabe except with none of the chill or comedy and significantly more macho bragging about fucked up stuff he's done. Most likely to get high at a party and commit a hate crime.

[yermes]

PAC:🔖

Escapism.

Girl I know you want to be the cute cottage witch but you are forced to live in the modern day. But imma tell you WHAT YOU WOULD STILL HAVE TO DEAL W REALITY AS A MYSTIC IN THE RENAISSANCE AS WELL. It sucks. It sucks going to school, working, being good to yourself AND being a full time mystic. Be kind its okay to make space for magic everywhere

Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

Socials: TipJar | Insta

Pick a meme

The cards

Pile 1

Ring + Dog 🐩 💍 

Your escape is your friends. Your friends whom you love most dearly is your escape from the modern day. The job is what it is but the most important aspect is the money which you can use to do things w friends.

Pile 2

Bear + Letter 💌 🐻 

You are really protective over the small inconvenience in your life. However you were not put on this earth to suffer. Put that strength and will power to use and make a space for yourself.

Pile 3

Coffin + Mountain ⚰️ ⛰️

Oof.your escapism is your sadness and you lack of will to let go and it causes many personal blockages in your life. Put all this energy you dedicate to being sad and put it to a better use.

Extras: 🍊

Story/vent:

Omw to work! And I am almost done w my notes for the book I read and will make a podcast abt all the occult books I read so its accessible to those who want more magic in their lives

[firefly--bright]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐰𝐧!

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern smau.

⁀➷ introducing ; apartment 201 !

⁀➷ jean boy!

has vinyls stacked up against a wall.

proud plant dad (after many failed attempts at it)

went to one (1) tame Impala concert and made it his entire personality for two whole years.

an "old soul" is what he likes to call himself, but in all reality he likes to grumble alot. regardless, after his friends make their way into his heart, there's no getting out. he's not the best at uttering his words out loud in a way that makes sense, but his love is ever-present. its everywhere until you're covered with it, littered in the ground and in the laundry that he complains about, in the takeout he buys, in the little lamp he keeps on so that Connie doesn't hurt himself when he reaches home late.

⁀➷ constance springer!

has a meme account on Instagram that he takes way too seriously

"I'm a...niche mirco celebrity.. influencer. i want free nachos in this fine establishment."

second year set and film design major in University of Paradis

chronically online but not in a creepy way, he swears

almost failed 8th grade because he "forgot" about the exams

self-proclaimed aux guy in every road trip. despite all his jokes, it's easy to love him. he's light of the party, and even if he's not the smartest academically, he's smart emotionally and offers surprisingly good advice, and will always be determined to put a smile on everyone's faces despite any adversity.

⁀➷ sasha braus!

won a hot dog eating competition in 7th grade against grown adults. the trophy rests in her closet at all times.

if Connie is the life of the party, she's the encore.

hoards twice posters and photocards. she made Connie, marco and jean listen to it and now they're hooked onto it too, although not as much as her

doesn't know how to spell, barely uses any punctuations ever

once she starts talking, it's really hard for her to stop. but even during her rants, youd find her making a note of anything and everything. nothing can escape her watchful eye, and she'd offer you a helping hand even if her own hand was chopped off. lives and breathes in the kitchen and believes that the kitchen is the heart of the home. her love is radiant and within your grasp at all times, not leaving, always patient.

⁀➷ marco bodt!

has a dog (golden retriever) named polo. if it wasn't obvious.

has always loved and been surrounded by animals. doesn't like crowds but he loves hustle bustle because it feels like home to him

coffee addict

dad friend. always has bandaids, aspirin, and gum in his pocket.

his glasses are always smudged with fingerprints, jean has to remind him to clean them

very intuitive. knows other people's emotions and behaviours probably more than he knows his own. loves his friends in the deepest and purest form, his comfort lies in spending a night in with them. his love is like when your favourite song comes on in an unexpected setting - you didn't know you needed it but it would put a smile on your face nonetheless.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ previous episode! (introducing; the homeless) ➷ next episode ; pilot!

⁀➷ fic playlist ➷ fic visuals

⁀➷ series masterlist ➷ main masterlist ➷ enter my taglist!

⁀➷ taglist ; @mrsnobodynobody , @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @cherrypieyourface , @jeanscremebrulee

line dividers by @peachesofteal

[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things: 

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense. 

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand. 

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes. 

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday. 

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper. 

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at  the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1.       It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2.       Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3.       This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4.       If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to  Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this. 

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics. 

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

Hi, sorry if I missed this in your FAQ, but do you have any advice on how to incorporate humor into a story? Also, how do you know when something is funny?

How to Write Humor

Humor is very hard to pull off for writers. Many aspects of humor depend on a person’s expression and delivery, on the way they say the joke and how they hold themselves while they speak. It relies on the inflection of the voice and certain hand gestures and expressions.

With writing, all you have are words on a page and the reader’s imagination, and it can be especially hard to write humor if you don’t find yourself funny and aren’t quite a comedian.

Here are some tips on how to write funny jokes and humor into a story and make sure that it stays funny. 

1. Don’t Use Memes or Modern “Slang” as the Punchline

The thing about memes and slang is that they come and go. There’s a new viral meme every week, and trends are born and die faster than you can blink. 

Once these things go out of date--whether they be turns of phrase or certain words-- society often brushes them off as “cringey” and will often react negatively to seeing it in a story. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read an older fic and they’d refer to dogs as “doggos” or say something like “it do be like that sometimes” and even though it might’ve been funny during the height of these trends, now they make me make a face and squirm a little in my seat. 

The best way to keep hip is to not keep hip, so to speak. Come up with your own original content and your own original jokes and your writing will remain nice and ageless, withstanding the test of time and the test of cringe culture. 

2. Randomness and Spontaneity Jokes are Best Left for Visual and Auditory Media

This kind of humor revolves around people blurting out random things and is kind of reminiscent of slapstick comedy. 

Think of this TikTok audio that has been going around recently which involves audio from the Cartoon Network TV show Johnny Test: 

“Why did you resist a police officer?” 

“Why are you police officers?” 

“I blew up Malaysia.”

See how it doesn’t  make much sense in words? The only reason why this audio was funny was because of the way the actors spoke it and the way the punchline was delivered, which readers cannot imagine in their minds if they’ve never heard it before. 

 This kind of humor comes off as childish and low brow, and will make more mature audiences uncomfortable rather than entertained. Having characters blurt out things that make no sense in the middle of a dialogue just interrupts the story and brings it to a grinding halt, and I see this mistake primarily made with fic writers struggling to make their stories more humorous. 

It’s like the dialogue equivalent of dropping an anvil on your character; although it’s funny when it happens to Wile E. Coyote, it’s not funny when it comes to written word. 

3. Dry Humor is the Easiest Humor!

Dry humor, also known as deadpan, is the deliberate display of emotional neutrality that’s meant to be blunt, ironic, laconic or apparently unintentional. 

It’s not a “joke” or a “pun” that’s told specifically to make people laugh (i.e. “Where do cows go on dates?” etc.), it’s just something that people say the just so happens to be funny. 

In my personal opinion, dry humor is the easiest way to bring humor into your story. It doesn’t require any characters to be “jokesters” and it doesn’t require a lighthearted situation. It’s just a remark--perhaps about a certain situation--that readers can interpret as humorous.

Some Examples of dry humor:

“You smell of death and destiny, of heroics and heartbreak!”

“It’s onion.”

--Jaksier and Geralt, The Witcher

*****

(Drilling sword stances...rather poorly)

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Practicing.”

“What, ways to die?”

--The Hound and Arya, Game of Thrones

*****

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

--Sokka and Zuko, Avatar: The Last Airbender

*****

“And what could be better than serving up smiles?”

“Being dead.”

--Spongebob and Squidward, Spongebob

4. Situations Can Be Funny, too, Not Just Dialogue!

Sometimes characters can get themselves into trouble in ways that may not be funny to them but can definitely be funny to a reader.

Tripping, hitting their head, stubbing their toe--especially during times of high tension--can be an excellent way to incorporate humor into your story. “This can’t get any worse” situations that get worse, a character being put completely out of their element, and other such things are all great examples of this

Just make sure to do it within reason, though, as to make sure you’re not falling into the random/spontaneous joke category!

5. Write What You Think Is Funny, But Make Sure Others Check It!

I know some people may be insecure in their ability to write jokes, but the easiest way to make sure your story is funny is to write what YOU think is funny. There’s a pretty good chance that you’re just your own worst critic!

I know for me personally, I found that when my friends were reading the earlier drafts of my books, they would find things that they thought were funny without me even intending for them to be a joke! Everyone’s sense of humor is different, and everyone will interpret your writing, in various ways. 

So write your story how you want to write it, and have someone read it over to make sure the jokes are funny! They don’t have to be laughing out loud--it’s possible for jokes to be hilarious without warranting an outward reaction--but as long as it makes them smirk at their book or perhaps let out a puff of air through their nose, it’s all worth it!

6. Read, Watch, and Listen!

The best way to learn how to write humor is to read, watch, and listen to humor. Look at comedians, at jokes in your favorite novels and TV shows:

What do they all have in common? What is it about them that really makes you laugh? How can you embody that in your story?

A little research never hurt anyone, and hey, maybe you might be able to improve your own sense of humor while you’re at it!

Hope this helped, and good luck!

[moblitberner-bunch]

Modern AU: Vlogs!

These have been sitting in my drafts for 1,5 year now so I decided to finish them and dedicate these to @quietcelt because she's gonna leave Tumblr soon... Me be sad...

Anka: Doesn’t have her own vlogs, she films Mitabi’s vlogs and comes up with fitness challenges for him to take part in. Posted three ASMR videos in five years and though they do good she forgot about them.

Mitabi: Sports vlog, workout routines, tips and tricks to boost your strength and endurance (How-to-pose-as-a-fitboy-for-instagram-and-get-10000000-likes).

Gustav: Has this online book club vlog in which he discusses and analyses books (and the movie adaptations).

Ian: No vlogs, but meme compilations. Rico is just shaking her head (but watches all of his videos secretly when Ian is asleep.

Rico: No vlogs.

Pixis: Doesn’t know what a vlog is.

Erwin: Tries to vlog his day-in-the-life-vlog but forgets to press ‘start recording’ so his videos are twenty minutes of black screen. Still has many followers on IG because everyone is fangirling in the comment section of his selfies.

Levi: Cleaning up with Levi. Top ten best cleaning products. Tea blends ranked. Cleaning life hacks. The importance of cleaning. Sometimes a workout video no one can keep up with, but everyone watches it to see his abs.

Mike: Full series on how to train every dog in easy and doable steps, from pup tot old doggo, shy or aggressive, with Mikes advice you will have 100% success.

Hanji: Your new favorite online chemistry teacher, will save your grades and your degrees singlehandedly. Considered starting an OnlyFans but the other vets forbade it.

Moblit: Sometimes tutorials on how to draw things, mostly vlogs his experience when visiting museums and galleries, also includes art history information in videos because he actually knows a lot. Don’t get him started on Brunelleschi’s talent, Moblit is a fangirl.

Nanaba: Made a small series in which she talked about childhood abuse and her abusive father, to break stigma and make the topic more discussable. She also told about how she overcame her past. It’s the only series she made but had many many views and loads of positive and supporting comments.

Eld: Challenge/prank videos with Gunther, sometimes family vlog with his wife and mostly his baby girl because he has to share her cuteness with the world. Every milestone is caught on tape.

Gunther: Loves the challenge-vlogs with Eld but hates the pranks. He joins Elds vlogs and balances Elds goofiness with serious and witty remarks. They would be a great duo to do some Buzzfeed Unsolved kinda videos.

Oluo: Life with all his brothers. How to keep them happy, and how to survive being the eldest and coolest of all the kids. Vlogs about taking them to theme parks and fun stuff. Many views because his brothers are hella cute, fucking funny and 7-year-old legends for life already.

Petra: Shows up in Nifa’s video’s. They often go shopping together, and she is basically in all Nifa’s vlogs. A Nifa vlog without Petra would truly confuse the audience by now. They be like: “Why is Petra not in this video?” “Where is Petra?” “Nothing bad happened to Petra right?”

Nifa: Come shopping with me vlogs, make-up tutorials, what’s the latest fashion news. Home deco vlogs. This girl is queen on the internet. She can literally vlog her morning routine with her bed hair and pyjama’s and still would get thousands of likes. The popularity of her vlogs opened the doors for her to design and release her first own clothing line.

Gelgar: Vlogs how he parties with his friends, how many tequilas he can down in 1 minute, the weird drunken antics caught on cam. He has 4 followers.

Mikasa: No vlogs.

Eren: Plays videogames for content, always gets way too aggressive and impatient. He only gets views because of his anger outbursts, gets approximately 10 likes and 1 thumbs down from Jean.

Armin: CrashCourse-like content, vlogs about scientific topics he will explain to make it understandable for the bigger crowd. Also saved a lot of grades and degrees.

Connie: Gameplay, walkthroughs and tutorials, almost professional gamer: he even makes money with it. Gets limited pre-access to games so he can promote the new game releases with his game content.

Jean: Cooks recipes, foodie, meal tutorials and Sasha rates his meals. Sometimes games with Connie.

Sasha: Appears in Jeans vlog and rates his food.

Historia: reaction videos. Rates everyone else’s vlogs. Witty comments. Did the fuck-marry-kill challenge once for the others (snk characters), and the viewers went WILD.

[jrueships]

Seeing as there’s FIVE wizards fans on this app/the whole WORLD 😭 please talk about the wizards players even tho we know nothing about any of them 😭 I just need to make sure that I’m not the only person who knows and cares about this team 🥴

THE WHOLE WORLD HELP WJDBS but YES I will be the one to feed us. Since our broke ass team DOESNT WANT TO 😭😭 but let's get right to it!!! PT 1.... I CANT FIT ANYMORE IMAGES

Robin Lopez, # 15

- if he sees a mascot, it's on sight

- insane

- is actually a softie BUT DONT TELL ANYONE!!!

- likes snow <3

- fights his own shadow

- 7 feet.

- the wizards' personal adopted deranged hobo that russ is still struggling to teach manners to

Thomas Bryant, # 13

- a giant teddy bear (he is the one dancing above ^)

- will take any opportunity to ✨ d a n c e ✨

- rui's bestie!! And OG anunoby's college bestie!

- a very positive person. Happy practically 24/7. Says dumb motivational quotes randomly. A literal motivational cat poster as a human

- interacts with his community a lot!!! Loves his college

- a little stupid but doing his best!!! Likes to make people laugh!

Isaac Bonga, #17

- from Germany. originally signed to lakers as discount Giannis but lakers too impatient to wait for him to turn into discount giannis so he is a wizard now <3

- is a lot like giannis but 6'8 and more cringe

- looks like he is 100. Acts like he is ten

- learned English by watching memes. Could only reply to things via memes for a while. Cheesy humor fits in perfect with the wizards!!

- bought a really expensive modern house. Regrets it. Calls his teammates a lot because he is lonely and his house is big and scary

- wants to be a fuckboy so bad

- unironically quotes dead memes 24/7. Wizards unironically find it funny

Ishmael (Ish) Smith, #14

- milf

- his first Twitter post is about getting hacked (is not good with technology)

- the sweetest man. Will laugh at all your jokes. Takes rookies under his wings

- gives off youth pastor trying to be hip vibes

- a nerdier, dorkier version of lou will but the unstoppable hobo he has to control is Robin Lopez instead of pat bev

- will carry all the cool rocks you found at the beach for you even tho they are smelly and sandy

- just a pleasant man overall

Daniel Gafford, #21

- was/wanted to be in marching band but was so tall that he stuck out too much and ruined the lineup aesthetic so he couldn't be in marching band LMAO

- used to be on the bulls. Bulls regret trading him (king)

- blocked zion two times!!!!

- John collins but if he was a band kid instead of a military kid

- family man! Posts pics of his dogs and his kids and his wife more than pics of himself

- a little dumb. Listens to loud people

- from Arkansas. Sounds like he is from Arkansas

Chandler Hutchison, #1 (THE 1ST IMAGE ISNT HIM. THATS CALEB. I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED THE WRONG IMAGE IN MY GALLERY. BELOW IS HIM)

- very chill

- sees russ as a fashion model

- wants to be as fashionable as russ

- quietly wants to be cool

- a very routined kinda guy

- a big kinda texture guy with food!! Likes hot spicy puffy cheetos! Bradley gets them for him whenever he sees them because they're kinda rare

Rui Hachimura, 8

- bradley beal has made it his personal assignment to annoy this man 24/7 but rui is still unphased. Just very chill and cool

- anime lover. Reacts to all his fan art from Japan!

- afroasian, grew up as a mixed kid in Japan which was TUFF. People looked at him like he was an animal.

- but he still reps his hom! Very proud of his split heritage!!!

- loves his mom!!!!!

- one of the few actually cool people on the wizards LMAO

- brad embarrasses him everyday but rui supports him nonetheless

Deni avdija, #9

- from israel

- has a ton of supporters in israel

- they make up half the wizards comment section! It's really cute! They love him sm

- kinda quiet but actually funny

- shy

- went around to all the vets asking for advice

[imaginariumrpc]

imaginarium : a place devoted to the imagination, largely devoted to simulating and cultivating the imagination, towards scientific, artistic, commercial, recreational and/or spiritual ends.

Hello, bonjour and pusu’l, lovelies! My name’s Arcana, I’m twenty years old, a Canadian, a Solar Cancererian, a Lunar Sagittarian and a Rising Libra, according to the Western Zodiac, and a Dragon according to the Chinese Zodiac, Genderfluid, Multigender, Transgender, Non-Binary, Intersex, Queer, Autigender, Pearlian, Two Spirit, Androgynos, Draoidhe,  DemiOmniBiromantic/DemiOmniBisexual, Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent, ENFP, Ravenpuff, Thunderbird, Otherkin, Therian, an Animist, a Pagan and I’m intrigued in the occult and witchcraft and I am additionally a white passing mixed triracial multi-indigenous person of color or more specifically, of Mi’kmaw, Wyandot, Wolastoqiyik, Métis and Sephardi Jewish heritage! I like cuddling and playing with cats and dogs and animals, eating pizza, taking pictures, music, reading, writing, gushing about friends and helping others. So with that said, I’m here to present you guys my new rpc / rph / aesthetic / inspiration / resource / personal / edit blog ! It’s for my own use but it can also be for your use ( provided you don’t take any of my original content off of this blog without my express permission ), the rpc and anyone else who wishes to use it, too! It features musings, codes, psd’s, psa’s, memes and a LOT more sprinkled with the occasional original content from me.

WHAT I DO:

a discord server affliated with this blog.

faceclaim help. ( poc, lgbtqia2+ and underused faceclaims included! )

alternate faceclaim suggestions ( send me a faceclaim that you don’t want to use and I’ll make a list of alternates. )

fancasts ( send me a character and i’ll make a post of potential faceclaims. )

name help.

label help.

plot help.

admin advice.

url help.

muse help. ( i.e names, concepts, character creation, worldbuilding, lore, etc. )

guides &&. tutorials.

general advice and being here to talk to.

rp advice.

opinions. ( depending on what it is. )

memes.

musings.

muse inspo.

base icon batches ( uncommon, but will open on occasion. )

psd recommendations.

shoutouts.

masterlists.

promo’s. ( provided you submit it to me as a photo. )

psa’s.

unpopular opinions.

character metas. ( occasionally, depending on the muse and on the fandom. )

positivity. ( muses — be they canon or original, fandom aligned or otherwise, and muns. )

venting. ( nothing hateful or discriminatory ! )

rants. ( nothing hateful or discriminatory ! )

first look reviews. ( on occasion. )

critiques. ( on occasion. )

in-depth blog reviews. ( on occasion. )

muse archetype aesthetic edits / moodboards. ( i.e the artist, the femme fatale, etc. )

dynamic / bond / family / friendship / squad / ship edits / moodboards ( poc, interracial and lgbtqia2+, polyamorous, m/m / mlm, f/f / wlw and nblnb included! )

faceless muse edits. ( muses of color and ships included! )

character emotional traits.

multiple genres, time periods and settings. ( i.e: historical, antiquity, medieval, vintage, modern, supernatural, fantasy, apocalypse, action, horror, science fiction, etc. )

aesthetics. ( i.e dark academia, solarpunk, retro, goth, lovecore, etc. )

theme recommendations.

template recommendations.

family templates ( occasional. )

fandom lists ( eventually. )

masculine, feminine and nonbinary.

cultural awareness.

locations ( including but not limited to interiors, exteriors, homes, and all the continents. ).

scenery.

nature.

animals.

mythology.

weddings.

religion ( specifically for muses from certain religions i.e jewish and muslim muses, etc. )

disabled and neurodivergent muse representation and resources.

resources and representation for the lgbtqia2+ / mogai community and its muses, i.e lesbian muses, gay muses, bi muses, trans* ( including nonbinary, genderfluid, genderless and other non-cisgender ) muses, queer muses, intersex muses, aromantic / asexual muses and two spirited muses, among other muses that are considered queer.

resources and representation for all muses of color, including black muses, indigenous / native muses, latinx muses, asian muses ( all asians, not just east asians ! ), pasifika muses, jewish muses, etc., that overpower than that of white muses, there are still resources for white muses, though muses of color will always be a priority on this blog.

resources for portraying pregnant muses ( will be tagged! ).

resources for portraying muses who practice witchcraft.

resources for portraying muses who are sex workers.

resources for muses of all ages, including children, adolescents, adults and elders.

resources for animated muses.

resources for nonhuman muses.

cuisine.

makeup ( for muses of all genders ! ).

tattoos.

nsfw. ( will be tagged ! )

pride flags.

texts.

userboxes.

seasons.

colors.

zodiac.

typography.

concepts.

plots.

imagine your otp/ot3/etc.

“make me choose” events.

confessions.

wardrobe.

physique ( friendly to all skin tones, body types, shapes and sizes! ).

wishlist.

faves.

crack.

shitposts.

mun stuff.

music playlists ( including my own spotify playlists ).

aesthetics and edits of my own muses.

resources and character tags for my muses.

stimboards.

occasionally post some of my fanfiction / drabble works.

occasional drabble / fanfic requests.

occasionally post some of my music works.

possibly post specific music edits when i figure out how to do so.

more to be added when i think of something.

WHAT I WILL NOT DO:

callout posts.

drama posts.

get involved in discourse.

flame other people.

bash on characters, fandoms and/or ships.

post recent spoilers of a series without tagging it.

tolerate bigoted, homophobic, lesbophobic, biphobic, omniphobic, panphobic, aphobic, arophobic, transphobic, enbyphobic, queerphobic, racist, colorist, sexist, exorsexist, intersexist, heterosexist, anti-polyamory, anti-mogai, anti-neopronouns, anti-nounself pronouns, anti-emojiself pronouns, anti-self diagnosis or mental health gatekeeper, victim blaming, gender/orientation/mental health gatekeeping, anti-otherkin, anti-feminist, ageist, speciesist, ableist, fatphobic, anti-black, anti-native, islamophobic, antisemitic, antiromani, xenophobic, exclusionist, transmeds/truscum, terfs/swerfs, radfems, heightist, sizeist, discrimination on cultures and subcultures, discrimination on religion or lack thereof, mysogynist/misandrist, white supremacist or any kind of supremacist honestly, nationalist, linguistic discrimination, or otherwise hateful, discriminatory, derogatory, vulgar and just overall dumb language, speech, behaviors and attitudes.

gif requests.

gif hunts.

manips.

textures.

crackship edit requests ( unless stated otherwise. )

edited icon batches ( unless if i’m releasing my own that i no longer use. )

theme / page / code making.

psd making.

more to be added if i think of something.

So, with that said, PLEASE like and/or reblog this if you’re interested in using it or at the very least spread the word! I really want to try and help people and have fun with you guys, but I can’t do that if this doesn’t get any notes. You can find out more information by reading my F.A.QHERE! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you all have a wonderful morning/day/evening/night! Yours truly, with all of my love, Arcana.

[transmortifried]

"weird asks": 25, 36, 40?

25. first song you remember hearing?

first song i remember hearing that i recognize was walkin' on the sun by smash mouth, which was on the radio when i was in the car with my mom in a wendy's drive through

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

probably advice dog? one of that era of bad tacky memes that ended up either being totally foundational to modern meme culture or forgotten completely

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

idk i kept my head down in school probably the guy who got expelled for putting a lit joint in the bathroom trash and setting off the fire alarms or the fact that the drama kids all did cocaine. @himedere-simulator undoubtably has better stories than i do.

[lieberts]

tagged by @jidai​ and @zenien​ and @dicennio​​ to do these <3 not tagging anyone, but feel free to say i tagged you if you wanna do these

1. MUSIC TAG MEME Rules: Post your first twenty songs in a playlist on shuffle

can’t let you go by adam lambert oh god

the giant’s exit from the majora’s mask ost

sing for absolution by muse

all that we see by the black ryder

offering by black city lights

miss moneypenny by placebo

spusti svetlost na put by kralj čačka

dance of the knights by prokofiev

suspirium by thom yorke

the hills by the weeknd

i don’t like mondays by the boomtown rats

silence by azra

spirit of peace (part 3) by popol vuh

build that wall from the bastion ost

politik by coldplay

jenova from the ffvii ost

akira the wild from the devilman crybaby ost

jazzman by carole king

morning after by ariel pink & weyes blood

modern man by arcade fire

---------

2. Rules: MAKE A NEW POST, bold what applies to you and tag whoever you want to get to know better.

APPEARANCE I’m an I-need-to-pull-the-driver-seat-all-the-way-in kind of a person // i wear glasses or contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing  // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo  // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how I look // I prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backward

HOBBIES & TALENTS i play a sport // i can play an instrument  // i am artistic (ehh??) // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand (kind of...... not for long tho)

RELATIONSHIPS i am in a relationship // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETIC i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISC i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift  // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least one dog // i have a cat ---------

3. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (1)

sage green or baby blue | moon or stars | paperback or hardback | piercings or tattoos (neither tbh) | drawing or writing | saturn or jupiter | line without a hook or mr. loverman | ancient greece or ancient egypt | prague or amsterdam | dark academia or light academia | indie aesthetic or cottagecore | stargazing or late night drives | strawberries or watermelons (these are hard wtf both??) | rings or necklaces | extrovert or introvert | dragons or griffins | ocean or mountain | silver or gold | dawn or dusk | creative or free spirit | early bird or night owl | cook or bake | dagger or sword ---------

4. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (2)

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without socks // fruit or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest (both suck and are full of reposts but instagram is seriously bad) // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields // sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweaters // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops // glass or stone // dark or light // photos or paintings // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats // poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

5. Post one picture from my camera roll (no new downloads) to sum up my personality!

6. 30 QUESTIONS TAG GAME RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag others

Name/Nickname: jeja, jeca, j, lena Gender: female Star Sign: aries Height: in a surprising turn of events im 167cm not 165 as i initially thought <3 Time: 10:30am Birthday: april 10 Favorite Bands: arcade fire, muse, placebo Favorite Solo Artists: hozier, chelsea wolfe, idk Song stuck in my head: vive la fete by noir desir Last Movie: interview with the vampire Last Show: i have no idea i havent finished a tv show in ages tbh When did I create this blog: i think january 2011? jesus What do I post: anime, art, video games Last thing googled: vive la fete by noir desir to see if i spelled it correctly Other blogs: wessobrunn but its inactive Do I get asks: i get bullied by sen a lot Why I chose my url: because i love the liebert twins from naoki urasawas monster<333 Following: 147 Followers: nah Average hours of sleep: like 7-8 hours? Instruments: none What am I wearing: beige sweatpants and a black hoodie fashion icon jelena Dream job: i dont dream of labor Dream trip: japan, asia in general, central europe Favorite food: too many im not a picky eater Nationality: montenegrin (derogatory) Favorite song: BRUH i dont have one fav song there are too many Last book read: mađarska rečenica by andrej nikolaidis  Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: i think it says a lot about the kind of content i consume when i cant think of a single one that would actually be enjoyable to live in...........

[completeotometrash]

Matchup

@i-sleep-like-napoleon

I'm a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I'm kind of a mix of ENFP and INFP. Appearance-wise, I'm 5'2, i've brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I'm also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time. Personality-wise: - I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I'm really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I'm a closet nerd hehe) . - I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best - I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can't 😅 - I'm quite an open book to all my close friends - I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i'm having with anyone, especially if it's a deep conversation - I can be really awkward around people i don't click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with. - I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don't feel like I'm intimidating. - I can be really sensitive to other's emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i'm too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself - My love languages are physical touch and quality time - I can't stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they're just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho) - I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop. - I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i'm just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance - I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme). - I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i'm not that good at it :D - People tell me that I'm very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits. - I'm also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love. - I'm also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust. - I'm ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖 - I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i'll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0) - I'm also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can't hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I've had a bad day - I'm also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that "oh you're pretty good for a girl") like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation - My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes - I've been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it's because i can be really touchy feely to my friends - I'm also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others- I'm kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I'm also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me - I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn't 😂😂 - I'm also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them - I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don't mean to - Sometimes I don't really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it's just me and my impulsiveness 🤪 Fun Facts: - i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life) - i really hate horror movies (I'm usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims - I'm also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter - My hobbies are reading, writing and shooting (only air-rifle though) - I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It's on it's road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself. - I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅 - I'm also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller - Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚 - I'm really terrible at drawing, I'm not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂 - I'm also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which caused me to have bruises occasionally - I'm kinda bad and math and physics, but like if you take your time to explain to me then I'll understand a bit more lol, my best subject is like chemistry

...........

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy.

Although I was deeply torn between another character, I believe the suitor you’d be best with is: Sasuke Sarutobi!

I honestly feel like a relationship between you two would be like an, “opposites attract,” type of deal. But despite this, you two still would share a lot of common interests! Unlike all of the other guys, he understands you. He was born and raised in the same time period as you! He knows everything a normal person would from the 2000′s, he’s watched movies, listened to similar music, enjoyed memes, and understands references! Sasuke has made it very clear that he too, is quite the history guru. His former job in modern times was being a scientist. (Although it was never mentioned, I strongly feel like he enjoyed anime before he was sent back in time.) And he loves to not only learn, but teach what he knows! You two have a relationship unlike any other, which is a truly special thing. If there would ever be a time where you want to rant or discuss anything about the future, he would gladly listen!

Sasuke is not very good with his emotions, and is very stoic and self-kept. Seeing you and your expressions and how different you two are is pretty refreshing to him. He doesn’t find you intimidating whatsoever! (More adorable than anything). If you were ever frustrated at him or the world, he knows how to take it without making things worse, (most of the time). Always stays calm and has no problem being the first to apologize. He listens to how you feel and gives his best advice. Rare of you to ever get mad at him, he’s a pretty chill person that doesn’t seek attention or act like they’re better than anyone. He’s not too sure how to help you with your insecurities. Shows his love through actions rather than words, but still gives the nice occasional compliment on how you look or on your personality. (He truly does love you, thinks of you as being better than perfect.) He doesn’t mind that you’re the same way. Also isn’t bothered by you being possessive at all. (Doesn’t really talk to girls other than you unless he has to.)

Loves going and doing things with you. Whether if it’s walking around town or playing games in the castle! (Thinks you being competitive is adorable!) Understands if you just want to stay home and relax. He’s very introverted and doesn’t really understand social ques, so just being alone with you is something he would take any day.

Although he doesn’t show it, he loves pampering you! Enjoys cuddles as well. (Everyone seems to discuss on how he and his s/o would recreate the upside-down Spiderman kiss.) Will just randomly pull up romantic movie or TV show lines, and vines. A secret softy! (But only for you).

Overall, I think this would be a really healthy relationship! Only problem being how bad he is at expressing himself. (Which can be fixed over time.)

Other Possible matches: Masamune Date (almost picked this one tbh), Mitsunari Ishida, and Kennyo.. (Fuck I can’t remember his last name. Someone please educate me.)

[americangodstalk]

Notes about S2E3: Muninn

# As stated previously, Betty is the modern form of Sleipnir, and we see its reincarnation here.

# Note that on the newspaper Wednesday reads that is an article about how the “Deep State is watching”, a foreshadowing of Argos. 

# Ibis is seen here eating pieces of the corpses he dissects (something that Jacquel did in the novel).

# Argus Panoptes is mixed up with “Argus”, the dog of Odysseus. He is also referred to as a “peepin’ Tom”.

# Argus backstory is honestly a mess... The backstory is told in an Egyptian style. Ibis says that Argus Panoptes was rebirthed by Hera as a “god of surveillance” (it is actually merely a metaphor, and it is show that Argus had other incarnations before the American god of surveillance, but many people took it for literal). And it is mentionned that he was a god of surveillance before joining the New Gods - in fact it is the fading of his worship that pushed him to an alliance. 

# Argus is confirmed to be the eye seen in season 1 through the bank’s security camera.

# Argus is described by Wednesday as akin to Mr. Wood, a being that adapted into “something else”. It is mentionned that his “many eyes faded”, and that only his memories stayed intact - in the form of the Argus archives. Argus actually appears to the world as a private surveillance company - we can note that the symbol of the company appeared on the jumbo screens of the “Media reinventing herself” scene.

# Argus is connected to Black Briar and offers its “eyes” to them. We see he uses drones as part of his many eyes. When one of said drones is taken down by Muninn (or Huginn), the Caretaker complains that the system was not updated and the GPS files are corrupted. Tech Boy answers that he told Argus to upgrade the system, and complains that he is not a “micromanagement”. However Mr. World quickly tells Tech Boy to put “your man on the line” (here Argus is identified as an agent of Tech Boy). Mr. World mentions the “broken window theory”, and insists that visiting Argus instead of texting him is “per tradition”. Mr. World has this very interesting concept that “We build the new world on the ruins of the old”. 

# Before New Media appears, Mr. World has strange hand gestures - which almost makes it look like he is “downloading” informations from Technical Boy he then injects into the screen New Media comes out from. Or am I reading too much into this? 

# New Media appears dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl (some mentionned a Harajuku vibe), with a Hello Kitty-look alike on her collar (hinting at the influence of Japanese pop culture over the Internet and the youth). In the background you can see the screen she comes out from becomes full with social media posts of New Media - one can see Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, a lot of selfies and videos... She is shown disdaining things that are “old”, and she also is seemingly aware of who, what and how her previous-self acted since she makes a reference to Media by imitating the Marilyn Monroe persona. Of course, one can see she literaly manifests emojis, emoticans and picture filters in the real world. She also refers to Argus as “the man with the fiber optic”. 

# The headquarters of the Argus company have a parabolic satellite antena. Wednesday explains that, for the “local tinfoil hats”, this building is a stronghold of the Deep State, the Illuminati and/or the Men in Black. But to the “local city council”, it is just an old warehouse filled with computers. And in Wednesday’s words, in the end “truth and lies mix up”. Again, it is mentionned that in the warehouse there are “miles” of fiber optic cables, and that “only the memories remain”. 

# Interestingly, we see Argus doesn’t just archive information, but also himself or rather his old versions. We get to see the “cast-away husks” he collected after he changed into “something else”. Here, we get to see the original Argus - the monstrous sheperd that was supposed to guard Io in the Greek mythology and was killed by Hermes. Apparently, only a sacrifice can allow one to move forward from this stage of the archive - the killing of Io. The fans have been splitting their head over what exactly the wooden tool Wednesday uses is - on top of that, it has an eye symbol engraved on it. 

# Wednesday mentions that Laura is a “revenant” and like all revenants, she is “single-minded”. Just like the archive and Argus, to move forward Laura needs change, but change only comes with a sacrifice. 

# We step away from all that to go to the Corn Palace, a strip-tease palace where live Old Iktomi, the Native American shapeshifter and spider-spirit (compared by the Jinn to Anansi). Actually it seems it was originally the “Porn Palace”, but the P neon letter “died” in such a way it looks like a C now. The Jinn describes Iktomi as “manipulating humans like puppets” and advices him to not look at him in the eyes. We also get to see another Native spirit - Gnaskineyan, “Crazy Buffalo” an evil spirit, looking here like a tall blind man. 

# The next incarnation of Argus seems to have been in Roman times - indeed, we see that Argus was at this point the caretaker of the Library of Alexandria, renowned as the greatest collection of knowledge in the world. It seems Argus is locked in a cycle of rebirths and deaths - more precisely murders. Indeed, Argus always end up killed, because he keeps repeating his original myth - guarding something for which he will die. He murder because he was the guardian of Io, burned down along with his library... Note here that the Library of Alexandria was located in Egypt - which might explain why Mr. Ibis had Argus story told through an Egyptian point of view. Also note that here, Argus had his eyes ripped out.

# Iktomi appears in a wheelchair (hinting at his decay as an Old God). He grows marijuana in the background of his Palace - it seems he is an expert at tricks and potions. I honestly don’t know why people keep saying Iktomi and Whiskey Jack are the same being when, from my researches, they apparently are not. Whiskey Jack is a Crane spirit from the cultures of Algonquian and Dene people, while Iktomi is a trickster from Lakota mythology. Yes, both are considered equivalents, but they are not the same. 

# We need an explanation on how Iktomi ended up having Wednesday’s spear. It seems Iktomi is also aware of Thoth, as he mentions he will be against the use of the spear for it is an “instrument of death”. 

# New Media of course uses hashtags in her talk. In her talks with Technical Boy she appears friendly, childish, energetic, but she has a snarky and nasty side to her hinting at her rivalry with the technology god. She explains that Tech Boy and her have “different audiences” and she mentions that she needs “bandwidth”. 

# Tech Boy threatens Argus to come back on their deal, which would have Argus “go back to trolling the Dark Web on IRC bots and Geocities pages” - so that’s what he as doing as a god of surveillance before taking a deal with the New Gods. Interestingly, we here have an incoherence - before Mr. World identified Argus as an agent of Tech Boy, but here Tech Boy has the hardest time acting as Argus boss, since the “surveillance god” says he was offered a deal by Mr. World and works only for him. 

# Odin explains that he wants Argus killed because he “plays both sides” (how? We never saw Argus help the Old Gods), and apparently to kill him Laura needs to stab the tattoo in his neck. Though one may actually see how he plays “both sides” by looking at what Argus says - he says that entropy leads to disorder and all systems evolve towards chaos, “even alliances with gods”. It seems as a result that Argus has a sort of nihilistic view - he doesn’t wish to partake in the war, or to really help one side or another because ultimately it doesn’t matter who wins this conflict. That’s why he is so rebellious against Technical Boy. Or at least it seems like it... 

# New Media, to interact with Argus, brutally switches personality - you can literaly see her change. She becomes seducing, flirty, very sexual. She visibly wants to take over Tech Boy by stealing Argus to herself. She mentions that she has “likes, shares and subscribers” and that everyone watches her, but what she wants is “someone to watch them back”. She wishes to “connect and merge” with Argus - which takes the form of a strange sexual scene. I personally believe this is a reference to “hentai” in its primal form - the typical diea of “sex with tentacles”. Indeed, in this episode New Media has a strong Japanese pop culture influence, and for those of you who don’t know, “hentai” originally was a form of pornographic art of Japanese culture, very old, and that often involved tentacles and sexuality with octopuses. However, the Internet took over this “hentai” style and turned it into a true meme, a recurring joke and a “common knowledge” and “popular trope” of Internet works - it is a literal representation of how the Internet takes back for itself forms of traditional art and turns them into something entirely new. 

Anyway, she talks about her “fusion” with Argus as a “synesgestic expanding” and a “marketing opportunity”. 

# Despite his death, Wednesday mentions that “Argus will come back”. Which hints that maybe Argus has enough belief/worship/popularity to keep living, contrary to the other Old Gods.

# It seems Bast is part of Wednesday’s plans, or will act at Wednesday’s request when she will “heal” Shadow.