#missing out on life

[moonshadow-thoughts]

One thing that really freaks me out is that with every passing day I lose another day of my youth. And I fear that I waste all of it. That I miss out so many things you can only do when you are young. And that one day when I'm old I will be heartbroken and disappointed because I missed out so many things in my youth.

[hopelessly-dizzy]

There are Three of You

So I have vestibular migraine. This is a condition that rarely has the midgraine pain (it can come, though), but instead you are intensely dizzy. I've been dizzy now nonstop since April 11. I can hardly see (thank you, touch typing class in 9th grade so I can type), hardly read, need a cane to walk... I feel like I'm missing out on most of my life. We're trying a new med combo, and I haven't had a day without dizziness since.

[choccymilllk]

staaaartin thaa streaaaammmmmmm

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment

[mashmouths]

does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do

[eydilily]

took a stab at arcane style pearl and etho :J

this was supposed to be a quick(er) study but i ended up coloring it anyway !!! i personally prefer the original grayscale version over the colored ones (especially etho);;

[jenanigans1207]

What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.

And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.

He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.

And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.

Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.

And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.

But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.

Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.

It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.

Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.

And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.

And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.

And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.

“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”

And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.

And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

ghost horses

GHORSES

[mecomplainingaboutallthethings]

i hate missed opportunities and awkwardness caused by my depression.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

i drew this in the most unromantic way possible please understand that ethan is just their miserable wet cat they found outside in the snow

[thehotandsmexyone]

imagine having friends j still feeling lonely asf 😂🤣😔

Do you ever feel like you miss out on life, because you are not able to socialize the way most people do?

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Some more crossover interactions between Stan and the tf2 mercs because they are so silly to me :]

More of this au here and here

To summarize: he got hired as Mann. Co's grunt / errand boy alongside Miss Pauling, and he usually just follows her around helping her out with her tasks and stuff. He got hired when he randomly bumped into Miss Pauling at some drug cartel they both happened to be at, and somehow they manged to run away AND bust the cartel together on the same day.

He sometimes have to go talk with the mercs himself instead of Miss Pauling when she's busy, and over time he gets inadvertently sucked into the found family. He can never escape now, he just has to accept his fate.

Since he's technically the youngest out of them all, I think the mercs like to tease him a lot about his age (especially Scout. He is overjoyed he isn't the youngest in the team anymore). They drag him into a lot of their shenanigans, and for once he has to act Iike the straight man in the group because everyone around him is absolutely batshit insane.

[chatlote]

Recurring Dreams.

[potionsmasters]

friendship

companionship

loyalty

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[erinwantstowrite]

okay so alighterwood started playing twisted wonderland which not only reminded me that i have to finish my twst wonderland jurrassic ayuu fic but ALSO gave me brain rot for Tim Drake in twisted wonderland do you see the vision. im looking directly into your eyes oh so autistically do you see my vision. im communicating telepathically do you see what i'm saying here