#misgendering --

[drmajalis]

Brb going to wotc to get this card printed and included in every pre-con

Let's just say I had a bad experience at mtg today.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Bigots denying a woman her womanhood aren't actually granting her the status of "man" esp with all its attendant privileges.

Degendering is a form of dehumanization. The goal of misgendering/degendering a woman is generally to treat her as a disposable object, unworthy of even the conditional and dubious "protection" that women are supposedly due under patriarchy.

If they actually saw her as a man she wouldn't be targeted in these ways, and "man/manly/male" would never be spat at her like an insult.

[midwestemokilledmygrandma]

they/them is not an all-inclusive pronoun that you can use to refer to anyone just because it is gender neutral.

the very basic sentiment of "don't misgender people" seems to go over even the heads of trans people and cis people alike when it comes to they/them pronouns.

not everyone wants to be called they/them. if someone strictly uses she/her or he/him or she/he or neopronouns etc. anything that is not they/them.... using they/them would still be misgendering. in the same way calling someone who doesn't use any other pronoun that pronoun would be misgendering.

You don't get a free pass to call people whatever pronouns you want to call them rather than the pronouns they use just because they them is a gender neutral pronoun.

also not all nonbinary people use strictly they/them pronouns or they/them pronouns at all.

i feel like this is very simple yet is misunderstood by a lot of people

[transandrophobiatruther]

An unfortunate, reoccurring phenomenon I've experienced increasingly is people pestering me about my gender and/or hinting that they're a trans ally (assuming they aren't trans themselves) and goading me into coming out, and then getting extremely uncomfortable when I come out as a trans man. I'm genuinely shocked by the amount of times in the past few months alone I've come out and explained that I'm ftm, a binary trans man who uses he/him, and have been asked "Okay, so can I use they/them?" Or, "why don't you use they/them?"

I am not a passing trans man - not for lack of trying, but due to things that I simply cannot control, hide, or remedy right now. I have been told I look more androgynous than masculine, which is a significant part of why my pronouns are questioned, yes, even by other trans people. It makes people uncomfortable, because my identity doesn't align with their perception of me.

But even if I wasn't doing my fucking best to pass, even if I didn't bind, or if I chose wore dresses and skirts, my pronouns should be respected. You don't get to "compromise" or decline to use someone's pronouns because their presentation doesn't align with the image in your head. You can't just refer to any trans person by they/them pronouns because it makes you more comfortable.

[transfaguette]

ppl are like “yeah society hates when women do unwomenly things” and youre like “yeah like being a man” and theyre like “well no actually theyre ok with that :)”

[fakeboy-breeder]

fakeboy who gets hired at a ren faire thinking he’ll be a knight or a jester, but he’s actually been cast as a prostitute for the fully-functional, period accurate brothel, where he’ll be playing the role of “unwilling naive girl forced into prostitution out of desperation”. and she won’t even have to act!

[nyxisart]

At leats my back passes!

[bonefall]

now am very curious to see a terf’s reaction to meewa-gender, as someone who thinks the way that you have conceptualized gender for the clans (and the way you are pushing the boundaries of it within that same framework) is Very Cool. like. did they fully just have a hernia in your inbox? because that seems likely

ok I can't hold onto it anymore I NEED to share this one, I've been laughing for DAYS. They got so mad they made the third gender real

The TRADITIONAL gender roles: Man, Woman, and Meewa

I make women do less work?? have you seen heartstar she never stops

Like even by TERF logic, I'm making the boys into girls, and then the girls are all just working the meewas like packmules?? we JUST made the gender real and we're putting them to work

Also I'm a guy now! The TERFs have FALLEN for my NEFARIOUS LEFTIST PRONOUNS

THE MENTALLY ILL... my bestie in christ, i am the mentally ill

It's a bad thing I don't talk about cat penis??? Wh?????????

Anyway like and share if you're the mentally ill eating it up ✨

[0w0tsuki]

God damn "dude/man/guy is gender neutral actually" discourse is really a sign y'all are fucking hopeless. Because the bar is quite literally on the FUCKING FLOOR.

You know the stereotypical "performative cis liberal ally"? The one who upon acknowledging they've been corrected about an accidental misgendering, turns it into an entire god damn show of apologizing and telling you how HARD they're working to gender you correctly. Yeah if you're someone who defends the use of dude and man as gender neutral terms guess what? Even with making every apology a grand display at least they're fucking apologizing and putting forth an effort to show you that they're putting your interests in mind.

Which is more than can be said of you.

Imagine if they were told they accidentally deadnamed you. And instead of the usual acting like they just accidentally hit their own fucking child they went "Actually I think [DEADNAME] is pretty androgynous and could be used for anyone of any gender! I'm not going to use it now that you have corrected me! But I just wanted you to know I didn't see myself as explicitly misgendering you when I used [DEADNAME]"

We are asking for the BARE MINIMUM amount of effort! Literally all you have to do is if your going to insist that "Using gender neutral terms when referring to somebody even when their actual gender is readily available information is actually the correct way to gender somebody online" that at the VERY LEAST use actual gender neutral terms instead of dude/guy/man. You don't even give up your use of it in your everyday life. You're only being asked to think about this in spaces where trans women are common such as online queer spaces.

That is how little trans women not being misgendered left and right in places that sell themself as safe for her matters to you. It matters so little that you can't even be asked to not do the barest minimum to not contribute to an environment where anyone who wants to misgender a trans woman with no repercussions can just Dude her knowing full well that she will view it as misgendering and fall back on "oh I was just being gender neutral. YoU sHoUdN't AuToMaTiClY aSsUmInG pEoPlE's GeNdErS!!" Which is a common enough occurrence that we have to have this fucking discourse.

The bar is on the floor and y'all are digging holes just to not have to face the smallest of inconveniences. Performative allies are fucking lapping you. You should be embarrassed.

Do better

[transmasc-advice-blog]

ways to correct people who misgender you

for me correcting people is really hard bc i have really bad social anxiety so i made a list of ways to correct people that might be easier. (sent this to our-transmasculine-experience but i thought i’d post this here too)

my teacher misgendered me so i wrote my pronouns next to my name on a worksheet. not only did he start gendering me correctly, he also felt bad so he went easy on me for a bit (didn’t grade as harshly and called on me before other people) NOT THAT MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD IS GOOD

you can have a friend gender you correctly in front of the misgenderer MANY times (it takes a lot of times lol) works better if they know you and friend are close

text them

have a friend tell them

pronoun pin (didn’t work that well for me, but it did get a few people to start gendering me correctly so give it a go if you want :)

not necessarily towards the person but mention your gender like “ugh being non binary is so hard sometimes” or like “i got that tboy swag” bc that may get them thinking and they may ask you your pronouns

you can put your pronouns in your email signature

say something along the lines of “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah [your name] is so cool [your correct pronoun] said my jacket made me look pretty’” so like say your pronouns… for yourself, yk? so for me it would be “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah Vince is so cool he said my jacket made me look pretty’” idk if that makes sense

[transmemesfortransqueens]

Love when they “soften” the blow of misgendering

[hvfghcgh]

I HATE FORCEFEM I HATE MISGENDERING

YOU ARE A MAN SHUT UP ABOUT "OHHH MY ROOMMATE FOUND OUT I HAVE A PUSSY I HOPE HE DOESN'T TELL ANYONE". TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

I'LL TRAIN YOU. BOYS GET OVER HERE. LET ME DRILL YOU ABD TEACH YOU TO SHOOT AND TEACH YOU MASCULINE CONFIDENCE. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HOW YOU'RE INTO MISGENDERING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT!! YOU JUST HATE YOURSELF!!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I accidentally misgendered a friend in a post and the panic scramble to get my phone to fix it woke me up. I actually went to check for the post before I realized it had been a dream.

[resdayn]

character/historical figure: lives openly as a man his whole life, uses he/him pronouns exclusively, passes as a man even with family, close friends, and partners, refuses to go by other pronouns under any circumstance

everyone, inevitably on seeing his anatomy: wow, i love her!! what a female icon!!! she is so cute!!!

[little-tunny]

I’ll accept any pronouns but when people are like 100% just trying to be rude to me its just like ohh no my ears...my eyes...they do not perceive anything around me...sorry i cannot hear u.....