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Summer wishlist:

- laboring in the backyard on a sunshiney afternoon

- delivering in someone’s pool

- popsicle

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What is your number one postpartum tip/advice?

Side note: even though I am not planning on having kids it makes me strangely happy to see someone talk about the realities of pregnancy and childbirth. It's one thing that we just gloss over all of the irl issues in this kinky little bubble, we're just having fun, but I have been shocked about some of the things I have leant though social media that my health/sex ed classes just....did not mention. How is it fair for a society to both pressure people into having children without telling them the realities of it???? Sorry for the rant but I for one am happy that someone is actually talking about it, and not in a "this is why I am never gonna have kids way" but a "I have kids and love them but damn is this taxing" kind of way.

My biggest tip is taking it as easy as possible, accepting help and giving yourself grace. You just had a baby. It’s probably going to hurt and you’re probably going to need help with things. Also even if you feel “good,” take the pain relievers. Alternate them. Your body will thank you. Hydrate a lot. Take the softeners for way longer than you think you’ll still need them. Also more than any of that, make sure you have an over abundance of everything you need for recovery.

One of my biggest issues with this sect of the internet is how removed some people are from what we face when giving birth. It’s kink so we can’t expect much consideration to the aftermath. The kink ends when the baby is born obviously. But the glossing over the reality always felt odd to me. Actually having my own kids completely shifted my perspective of this all and made me feel even more uncomfortable with that. I ignored so many awful messages and asks about if I was getting pleasure out of being overdue or when I gave birth.

I firmly believe they don’t tell us a lot of the birth and postpartum stuff so we won’t be scared into not having kids. I was so blindsided the first time I gave birth. It’s such an awful feeling to be scared of your recovering body because no one told you it was normal. The bleeding especially, oh my god. If you’re not prepared for it, you can fully think you’re dying.

I love my kids more than anything but yeah, holy fuck. Just my pain with my contractions after this last birth. My partner would put his hand on my side as I just cried in bed and I’d immediately be like “Stop touching me, you’re making it worse” lmfao. Then you’re in pain and also responsible for this new tiny baby, plus everyday shit and your other kids if you have ‘em. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat but it’s very taxing.

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Bumps Ahead

“God, this fucking light needs to turn greeeeen!” Alex cried from the passenger seat. He had long since moved from the sitting position as Tucker drove him down the highway to the hospital. He was hugging the back of the seat, his legs spread as far as the narrow car would let him. He cried loudly, his breath shuddering as he tried to ground himself.  He was 39 weeks pregnant with his first baby, who was coming fast. He felt the pressure increase in his pelvis as they sped down the road. 

“Fuck,” Tucker said under his breath, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel, his jaw clenched and eyes focused on the road. “It’s okay,” Jonathan assured Alex, rubbing his shoulder. Jonathan was sat right behind Alex, the two now facing each other as their daughter fought her way down her father’s birth canal. Alex sobbed, staring at Jonathan‘s lap and he reached his hand down to feel for his progress. The poor man was overwhelmed with all the sensations going through his body. his eyes were open, but unfocused, the pressure and pain the only thing his focus was able to fixate on. Alex panted softly, eyes suddenly alert as he lifted his head up. “I need to take my pants off,” He said, matter-of-factly. His gaze was still blank, and he had grown pale. 

“No, no, no! Baby, we’re almost there,” Johnathon said, rubbing Alex’s hand, as it tightly gripped the headrest.  Alex shook his head. “I can feel herrrr,” He groaned out, closing his eyes tightly as sweat began to dribble down his forehead. Jonathan was at a loss for words, feeling helpless as Alex was sweating and grunting. He wasn’t sure if he was pushing out their baby already or trying to stop himself from doing so. He stole a quick glance at Tucker, whose jaw had somehow grown tighter, his focus intensifying on the road ahead of them. They were a good 10 minutes out from the hospital. Jonathan and Tucker seemed to both know that Alex wasn’t going to make it. “Drive faster, Tucker,” Jonathan said, helplessly. “I fucking am!” Tucker replied, harshly and clearly stressed. Alex’s breaths were hiccuping and erratic. “I’m taking my pants off,” He stated. 

“Hold on, hold on. We’re almost there,” Jonathan told Alex, desperate for him to hold out until they could get to the emergency room. Tucker exhaled deeply through his nostrils, trying to calm his inner panic and focus on getting everyone to the hospital in one piece. “It’s like two lights away,” Jonathan added, pleading with Alex to hold on. “I feel her, babe! OHHHHH, Goddddd!” Alex exclaimed, as he suddenly began screaming. “Her head’s out! It’s out!” He screamed again, pushing himself away from the back of the seat so he could reach between his legs. Tucker broke eye contact with the road, moving only his eyes to peer down between Alex‘s thighs for a split second. Jonathan leaned forward, taking a look as well. “She’s out! She’s out!” Alex wailed. 

But she wasn’t. Alex was bulging, extremely so, but the head was barely peeking through. The burning sensation was so intense, he had assumed that their daughter had been born already. But he wasn’t even close to being done with labor. “She’s not! Baby, she’s not here! Fuck! Tucker! GO!” Jonathan yelled at Tucker and desperation. “I am!” Tucker yelled back. Alex panted heavily, his round and soft belly moving with each heavy breath. His stretchy white T-shirt clung to him tightly, nearly rising up to reveal his bump. “Catch her! You have to help her! Pull her out of me! Oh goddddd! Pleaaaseeee!” Alex cried, desperately grunting again. This time, Jonathan could see Alex spreading and beginning to stretch open.

“No, stop! Stop pushing, baby! We’re almost there!” Jonathan cried out, feeling tears begin to well up inside of his eyes. Alex was absolutely inconsolable now, wailing and screaming while digging his nails into the arm of the chair. Alex let out loud scream, his voice cracking and sounding strained. He loosened his grip of the armrest and began to slowly twist his body forward, sitting down again, spreading his legs wider in his new position. he was screaming incoherently now, his cries of helps barely comprehensible as he was overwhelmed with the most intense burning sensation he had ever felt. His strained voice was pleading for help that no one could give him.

“I can’t, I’m not— I’m in the backseat!” Jonathan stammered, unable to do anything to help their daughter come or support Alex through his agony. Alex sobbed in response to Jonathan‘s words, feeling alone, despite the fact that two of his closest friends were right around him. A deep part of him knew that no one could do anything to help him now. Jonathan looked around, seeing the hospital right around the corner. “Pull into the emergency,” he told Tucker. Tucker ran the red light, turning to go into the emergency entrance. Alex continued to sob and hyperventilate before screeching loudly, birthing out the head. 

“Her headdd! Oh, my baby! My poor baby!” Alex sobbed, cupping their daughter’s head before his whole body lurched, him screaming again as a gush of fluids exp loaded from between his legs, their daughter barreling out of him with violent velocity. “Oh, shit!” Jonathan exclaimed, as their healthy daughter immediately began wailing loudly. “Is she breathing? make sure she’s breathing.,” Tucker, said, his processing delayed as he kept driving.

“f she’s crying, she’s breathing,” Alex said breathlessly as he pulled their daughter up against his chest, rubbing her back. “Oh my God, you just give birth in my fucking car,” Tucker said, incredulously as he finally pulled up to the ER entrance. 

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doodle of a bnuuy

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How did you decide to have kids and stop your transition? It seems counterproductive and the most feminine thing to go through. I hope the kids are healthy.

I can only assume you’re not inquiring about this in good faith, but I’ll answer it anyway.

I decided to have kids when I accidentally got pregnant with my oldest. I knew I wanted to go through with it pretty much instantly. I gave my partner at the time an out in case he didn’t want to parent with me, and we went from there. There’s no way to word it that doesn’t sound selfish, but I wanted to keep the baby because I needed something drastic to change in my life. I needed to heal from past trauma from pregnancy that I had. You shouldn’t use your kids to heal your unresolved trauma, but I did. I’m a different and better person for it. I’m kinder, more open and more patient, among other things. It did change my life for the better, which is why I planned my second baby.

I don’t see pregnancy as feminine or womanly, and I don’t equate womanhood with fertility. I don’t see how much more plainly I can put it. I don’t feel like a woman while giving birth. I just feel like myself but pregnant. I think the issue you have lies within you othering me because I have a vagina. I’m a man. Not something in between or something with gray areas, or some other category you want to put me in because you can’t grasp who I am. I’m just a man who gave birth to his kids. I didn’t stop transitioning, and my kids are healthier than I’ve ever been.

We talk about sacrifice a lot when it comes to parenting. I just sacrificed a lot more than a typical pregnant person might. My body has changed a lot from experiencing pregnancy and it probably is feminine to others because of stretch marks and wide hips or whatever. But I’m still a man. Physical qualities do not determine my validity or authenticity as a man. People just cannot see trans men as men, and that’s really not my problem.

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more stuff from my partner :3 made with love. they are gonna create an account soon, then you all will be destroyed.

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OPEN COMMISSIONS!

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Thank you, and see ya ;)

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Iris

PREVIEW

Iris found herself pacing around the living room, to her bedroom, to her kitchen. Her steps echoing in the dark, she left the candle she was using in the living with the others. Almost frantically, her hands roamed from her back to her stomach, to her bare breasts and, from time to time, she found herself slowly cupping her pussy, grinding against her hand. Pleasure was a good antidote against the pain.

Now, a low hum vibrated in her throat as Iris rocked her hips in the air, squatting next to the couch as she practiced her breathing exercises. Breathe, hold, exhale. The pain was almost unbearable. She was still able to function through it, but these contractions were becoming the real deal very soon. Her stomach was tensing and spasming, sending pain through her body as she never felt before, none of her past pregnancies Iris had had such an... interesting labor.

Of course, her last pregnancies weren’t so inhuman-lish. 

The contraction went away, and Iris slowly lifted herself from the floor, supporting herself with the cushions. As she was going up, a frown formed on her face when a trickle of liquid started to roll down her leg. 

Her water broke. 

"Fuck..." Iris sighed, staring at the puddle that was starting to form beneath her. "Well...shit."

In a matter of minutes, she found herself kneeling on the floor. Since her water broke, the contractions and the pressure were rising in intensity hand by hand. She placed the candles, one by one, in a perfect circle. Then, she used the already lightened one to light up one by one the others.

Right before she could finish with the last candle, a contraction took over her.

"Fuck...!" shouting, Iris bit her lips as she rocked her hips in the air, her body slowly squatting to the floor as she threw her head backwards, taking in a deep breath as the pain settled in her middle section. "Mhm..."

Shaking her head, she felt the wax of the candle on her hand falling to the skin of her thighs, and she let out another prompted moan at the feeling. Finally, the pain passed. With a small laugh, she reached to light up the last candle.

She stood up, a hand carefully pressed to her underbelly as she blew off the candle in her hand. She was almost there.

She paced, rocked her hips and panted through the next contractions. Every time she moved, she could feel the eggs inside her shifting in her stomach, eager to come out. 

She could feel the first one slowly making its way down her birth canal. The pressure was slowly building up between her legs, nothing she couldn’t handle. 

It was time. Her fingers picked up the small scarf that was resting on the couch. With ease, Iris tied it around her head, covering her own eyes and falling into the dark once again.

She found herself again in the penumbra, her eyes open and barely getting to see through the black veil. Through the fabric, she could make out the light from the candles, barely visible, deformed shapes and dull colors that danced in front of her. 

She stood up straight, fixing her posture, and moved both her hands to rest on top of her stomach, firmly pressed against the skin. She turned around carefully, slowly, and took a few steps forward, trusting her intuition that she was now in the candle circle correctly, positioned right in the middle.

Iris took a deep breath at the same time a contraction hit her. She forced herself to remain straight, almost immobile, as her stomach tensed and she let the pain take over her body. Her breath hitched and pain leaked to her face, but she didn’t budge, remaining still. 

She breathed. The pain went away. Even when the fabric was covering her eyes, she closed her eyes as she tried to focus again. For a moment, she listened to the sounds that surrounded her —the sound of the fire and the night birds grounded her— and then Iris recited the words.

Without missing a beat and with no stammering, she recited by memory the words of the book to invoke the Lord of the Dark. The foreign words, from a forgotten tongue, sounded familiar in her mouth.

When she finished, she was met with silence. The sharp whistle of the quietness pierced her ears, not a single soul moving, not even the birds outside or the insects in the yard. Iris felt as if, around her, time had frozen. Then, she felt a warm touch on her back. 

A tentacle slid around her waist and another wrapped itself around her wrist, softly pushing her forwards. Iris took a careful step, but soon she realized that the grip the demon had on her body was guiding her, so she allowed herself to be led, moving to lay down on the wooden floor.

Her stomach contracted. The warmth of Shruvu’s touch had disappeared, but the presence was there. She could feel it, the air was different, and her surroundings had become smooth, intoxicating, making her feel as if she was wrapped in smooth velvet.

And it was everywhere.

Like what you see? Find the full version of story and more in my PATREON!

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An audio RP of me in labor, and you assisting me at home.

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The vacation belly went crazy 😅😅

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contraction

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we as a community need to embrace more horror in pregnancy stuff. put that man through the Torment while he's sporting a huge gut

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Stuffed as usual on this tummy Tuesday

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getting her so worked up that she can't control herself anymore and starts dry humping your thigh.

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Standing in line for an expensive theatre performance, her hand clasping mine tightly. She’s elegant in her black dress, her makeup flawless. Her thighs tense and widen. She presses her trembling lips together to avoid a moan.

“It’s like I can’t not push,” she hisses.

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry but the tickets were just so expensive. It would feel like a waste.”

She grunts. Her knees dip, tenting her dress slightly. “Wanna squat.”

“Not in those heels!”

The line flows like molasses. She gasps suddenly, eyes blown wide.

“I just… pushed.”

Subtly, without even looking, I slip my hand under her dress to feel the wet bulge of her distended crotch against her tights. She shudders.

“It’s okay, love. Just… hold it until intermission, ‘kay?”