#minor death warning

[philosophy-of-spring]

Derek Daki commission for @vlad-01

Thanks for your business!🌸

Please do not use without permission!

character belongs to gatobob

[zhuzhee]

baby girl its pipe time!!

[fuffleton]

Lazy drawing raahhh 😭😭

[sir-fenris]

You thought I was done with that prompt? Ha.

This is yet another short scene inspired by this post of @floral-comet-whump 's whump ask game.

(Colored sentences are part of the prompt)

Dangerous, sweet attachment

Content: living weapon whumpee, handler carewhumper, reluctant carewhumper, parental carewhumper, dehumanization, minor whumpee (child whumpee), child soldier, child endangering, implied child injuries, implied child possible death, blood. (The child is safe and happy at the end, despite the scary content warning, they were not hurt in scene)

-

"Agreeing to be your handler was the worst mistake I've ever made..." Handler can't look Whumpee in the eyes.

Not when they're covered in blood. Not when all he sees is a kid covered in blood.

Whumpee was caught by surprise. Handler has always been... kind and understanding of them even when they were bad. Much more than other trainers. "... Understood," they say as firmly as they can.

Under their breath, Handler can hear them shakily add, "I thought you liked me." His heart clenched so hard he could barely breathe. It was such a childish thing to say, wasn't it? They sound more affected by his words than them almost dying.

When Handler turns to see them, his eyes are filled with concern. "Before, I could see you as a weapon. But ever since I've made the terrible choice to be your handler... I just can't," he whispers.

He does like the kid. More than it was safe to get attached to a weapon.

Whumpee raises their head in confused surprise, and all Handler can see is his own children in their eyes. How could he ever treat Whumpee just as a weapon, when they have so many childlike habits, despite never being indulged to act like a child?

It's like their humanity tries to push through everything else to remain with them. Whumpee still cries when people from their side die. Still clings to Handler's arms when someone is being intimidating towards them. Still whines and sulks when they're tired. Still looks back at Handler when they feel insecure.

Handler has raised this kid more than his own kids. How can he pretend this is just a weapon?

"I can't keep sending you out there. But as your handler, I have no choice but to do that," Handler adds. He really should stop speaking, saying those things wouldn't help anyone.

And that is proven immediately.

"But... Did I do bad today?" Whumpee asks. "I'm sorry if I made a mistake-"

"No, kid, you didn't," Handler looks at him, all the blood, and has to look away again. "You did exactly as you were told." Against his better judgment, he adds, "but you shouldn't have been the one to do it."

"... Why...? Weapons have to do it. And I'm a weapon," Whumpee whispers hesitantly.

But this talk has already gone too far. He shouldn't be saying those things to a living weapon; it will only bring trouble to both of them.

You're a child, Handler wanted to answer back.

"Forget it. I'm speaking nonsense, kid. You did well today, let's get you cleaned up and fed, yeah?" With a firm hand on their shoulder, Handler guides Whumpee outside.

He has to ignore how Whumpee clings to his shirt for security and beams with a smile at the rest promise.

That smile doesn't belong on a bloodied weapon.

That blood doesn't belong on a child.

-

(The child got cleaned up with warm water, had a good meal, then got to rest safely in a cozy little room. They're fine, and Handler is caring for them as his own kid <3.)

-

[captainhysunstuff]

A reactionary comic about rereading a fic that I recently recommended that was way darker than I remembered, lol. I still love it for how they pretty much drive each other crazy, but that word choice and the consent issues... *cringes* At least there are valid warnings beforehand, and the first fic was pretty PG. Sorry. *laughs sheepishly*

[arobinsfeatherinthewind]

Am I Half The Man I Used to be? (I Doubt It) - Whumpuary D07

Am I Half The Man I Used to be? (I Doubt It)

Chapters: 2/2

Word Count: 3,359

Summary

"Are you even listening?" Two-Bit felt a swift kick to his ribs land, and he groaned slightly. They were already sore from the first round of kicks the group had landed on him. He almost wanted to know what shoes they wore, but they were probably too expensive for Two-Bit to be wondering about. "You… are a fucking prick." Two-Bit uttered, wincing as a hand grabbed his hair and shoved his face against the concrete below him. He had no doubt that it was going to scrape, there was enough force behind the action to do so. "You might have to repeat what you said," one of the other Socs uttered quietly, and Two-Bit could have sworn that this voice was way too young sounding to be jumping someone like Two-Bit. Though maybe there was enough of the other guys that it didn't matter. It certainly felt like it.

Or, or, the one where Two-Bit gets jumped and is left in really bad shape. Luckily, Marcia happened to be looking for him and Two-Bit gets taken care of by Marcia and Randy during the aftermath. Title from | Dial Drunk | by | Noah Kahan |

Day 07 of Whumpuary2025 (@whumpuary) || Unfair Fight | Insomnia | "No one is coming."

You can also read | Am I Half The Man I Used to be? (I Doubt It) | on Ao3!

Warnings Include: Fights, Blood, Mention of Death, Small bit of Suicidal Ideation, Mentioned Deaths of Minors, Mentions of Near Drownings, Small Bits of Suffocation

……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ………

(Pt.1)

Two-Bit had to wonder how he'd pissed off a whole gang of Socs, or what he'd done to even catch their attention to piss them off. As far as he'd been concerned, there had been no reason for them to jump him; they were on the east side, Two-Bit was for once minding his own business, and there was six of them and only one of him.

This was going to be one unfair fight, Two-Bit just knew it.

"Well, lookie here," Two-Bit rolled his eyes, wondering how cliche they could be. He's pretty sure he heard several characters, the bad guys, say that in the movies that Ponyboy watched. "We have ourselves a sleazy greaser wandering around like he owns the place."

"Well we are on the east side, you know, Greaser Territory." Two-Bit smarted, watching the group of six wearily. One of the Socs, a real mean looking one that had a scar on his cheek that Two-Bit found himself actually curious about how he got it.

He hated that he thought the scar looked tuff, most scars were, but this one also made this particularly Soc looking mean. Mean wasn't always a good thing, especially when two groups were so unbalanced.

"Well… Greaser's won't be around forever…" The Soc smirked, Two-Bit raised an eyebrow as he tiled his head to the side. He was itching to grab his blade, scare them off maybe. Two-Bit was watching the one Soc too much, he forgot to put his back to a wall…

Two-Bit forgot to keep his eyes on three of the Socs, who managed to flank around him.

He only realized his mistake when they must have been in position, because the Soc with the scar smirked.

"Grab him." Two-Bit's eyes widened as he turned to at least attempt to defend himself. He was just a few seconds too slow, and he was knocked to the ground. He had the breath knocked out of him as two of the Socs jumped on him, pinning his arms to the ground with surprising strength.

Two-Bit winced when he tried to jerk his arms out, testing his ability to escape their hold. He groaned when a punch landed on his jaw. His vision was swimming and he was struggling hard. Two of the other Socs were quick to pin his legs down when he'd nearly managed to throw the one sitting on top of him off.

Two-Bit went to say something, anything at all really, but a hand wrapped in a bandana covered his mouth faster than Two-Bit could think of. The main Soc laughed cruelly, an expression of glee on his face, which was still twisted into a cruel smile. Two-Bit glared, feeling a small bubble of panic when he realized that his nose was also partially covered.

Two-Bit tried to jerk his head to the side, though the Soc sitting on top of him had a pretty tight hold on his jaw. Two-Bit couldn't move much. He was panicking, and it was making his movements jerky at best, every movement a desperate attempt to get a little more air…

A chilling thought struck Two-Bit at that moment, was this how Ponyboy felt? Trapped underwater and jerking, struggling to get above so that he could breathe? Glory, Two-Bit could only imagine Ponyboy's fear, could almost feel Johnny's anger at just the thought of it now.

He'd been pissed before, but now knowing a small bit of what Ponyboy could have been feeling, Two-Bit was pissed.

Two-Bit managed to twist one of his legs and got it free, which he immediately used to kick wildly. It must have worked, because there was a shout of surprise before his other leg was released too.

Two-Bit wasn't wasting this opportunity. He twisted, still kicking wildly, jerking and actually managing to knock the Soc sitting on top of him off. That was about as far as his luck was going to go, though, as when he twisted to get his arms free, a Soc kicked him pretty hard in the back, knocking the breath that he'd finally managed to get back right back out.

And then there was another Soc sitting on his back with their hands around his throat and the gag was back in place, and he was being kicked. Two-Bit was, for the first time since he was ten years old, terrified out of his mind.

Two-Bit's vision was blacking out a little, and he could hear laughter all around him. The pain he was feeling was only getting worse.

"I found a blade! Oh boys we're in for a fun time."

Two-Bit's heart stopped.

He'd nearly forgotten about the blade he kept in his back pocket. A sleek switchblade with a shiny black handle that took Two-Bit nearly over two hours to swipe and get away with. His most prized possession that he took the absolute best care of, despite never using.

"Let him breathe, I want to hear his cries." Two-Bit wanted to roll his eyes, but an influx of oxygen felt more important when the hands around his throat disappeared, the bandana disappearing alongside them. He gasped, coughing as he got the chance to breathe.

Part of his mind was still stuck on the fact that they had his beloved switchblade, the other on the situation. And in the back of his mind, all he could think about was what Ponyboy managed to tell the gang about the night he and Johnny were jumped.

Two-Bit had always had a nasty habit of comparing two situations that were only barely similar.

"Are you even listening?" Two-Bit felt a swift kick to his ribs land, and he groaned slightly. They were already sore from the first round of kicks the group had landed on him. He almost wanted to know what shoes they wore, but they were probably too expensive for Two-Bit to be wondering about.

"You… are a fucking prick." Two-Bit uttered, wincing as a hand grabbed his hair and shoved his face against the concrete below him. He had no doubt that it was going to scrape, there was enough force behind the action to do so.

"You might have to repeat what you said," one of the other Socs uttered quietly, and Two-Bit could have sworn that this voice was way too young sounding to be jumping someone like Two-Bit. Though maybe there was enough of the other guys that it didn't matter.

It certainly felt like it.

"Maybe you're right…" The only Soc who has truly been talking sighed. "Very well." He sounded so annoyed as he said it. Two-Bit caught a glimpse, and it almost looked like the guy was going to reenact everything, just like how he did it before, even if it came across as forced. "No one is coming." The leader, Two-Bit had finally decided to call him, declared with a laugh. "No one is coming to save you. You're at our mercy now."

Unfortunately, that was a thought that quickly left Two-Bit's mind. There was no force behind the words, or the laughter from anyone. They found this to be a game that they didn't care how many times they had to repeat, it would always amuse them.

Two-Bit snorted, rolling his eyes even if he knew the other's words rang true. He'd managed to upset his mother's boyfriend and got kicked out of the house, and Darry was still picking up his brothers from the events of not even two months ago.

Dally would have been 18 now, and yet he was still 17. Buried in the ground in the cemetery in town, forever stuck on the East Side. Johnny… Johnny was buried with him, forever unable to leave like Two-Bit knew that Johnny and Ponyboy had planned.

"What's so funny?" Two-Bit hadn't even realized that he'd started laughing. Two-Bit snorted again, smirking as he tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.

"You think I care if anyone comes to my rescue? Me? No, no, I'd rather fight my way out." Two-Bit responded, he would have shrugged if his arms weren't held so fiercely behind his back, tight enough that had he even tried it would have hurt him. "I'm a greaser, it's what we do, you know."

Two-Bit groaned as a swift kick was delivered to his ribs, feeling a little uneasy as a knife was pressed against the back of his neck. It wasn't the worst situation Two-Bit had ever been in. No, he'd been in worse situations, even if he wasn't the one that all the pain and suffering had happened to.

"We could kill him and no one would even care…" The Socs might as well have stabbed him already, Two-Bit didn't believe that no one would care. He had the remnants of the gang that would care. "We could finally avenge Bob…" The Leader of the group almost sounded starstruck at the idea. Two-Bit felt sick.

"Isn't that a little far?" One of the younger Socs, Two-Bit had pegged him to be around 15, but even that was stretching it, interjected.

"Lukas, if you weren't going to participate, why did'ya even come with us?" Another one of the Socs huffed in annoyance. The knife at his neck pressed a little further against his skin, like it was warning him from trying to escape or fight back while they were distracted.

Two-Bit thought about doing so anyways.

The sound of a car revving in the distance distracted the Socs even more. Several curses flying as the knife sliced down from whatever shock the Soc holding it had felt. Two-Bit cried out, gasping from the blossom of pain. He squeezed his eyes shut.

He didn't get the chance to open them back up before a swift kick was delivered to his head.

(Pt.2)

Marcia stared in horror at the boy that was laying helpless and unconscious on the ground. She'd recognize Two-Bit any day of the week, even when he looked beaten into a bloody mess. She carefully moved forward, kneeling down next to Two-Bit's limp body, resting a hand carefully on his shoulder.

"Oh, Two-Bit…" Marcia's breath left her in relief when she saw a small rise of his chest. She knew she wasn't strong enough to lift or carry him back to her car. Marcia looked around, spotting a phone nearby. "I'll be right back," Marcia murmured, gently brushing Two-Bit's hair out of his eyes before getting up and running back to her car.

She kept some money in her car for instances where she was stranded. She could only hope, really hope, that Randy would at least hear her out.

She fiddled with the quarter, moving quickly without running, and hurriedly inserting the coin and dialing Randy's house number. She bit her lip as she listened to the ringing, hoping that Randy would answer her.

She was about to give up hope when the phone stopped ringing before a hesitant voice spoke.

"Hello?"

"Randy!" Marcia felt relief rush through her.

"Marcia?" Randy sounded confused. Marcia turned so that she could still see Two-Bit. Worry was the only thing that kept her on the phone, and what prompted her to speak.

"I need your help…" Marcia felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"What happened? Where are you?"

"The help isn't for me," Marcia took a small breath. Idley, she wondered if Randy had heard her. She had spoken pretty quietly.

"Who needs the help?" Randy asked. Marcia closed her eyes as a single tear fell. This could make or break the remaining bits of friendship that she still had with the other. She wasn't sure if she could handle that, losing him as her friend. She already had a strained relationship with Cherry, and that was tearing her apart. "'cia?"

"It's Two-Bit. He's hurt real bad Randy, please." There was silence for a few moments. After a minute, Marcia felt a small sob escape her. He wasn't going to help. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called, I-"

"Where are you. Where is he? How bad?" Randy's voice sounded shaky, and Marcia felt relief rush through her once more. She relayed where they were, eyes opening and landing on Two-Bit once more, swallowing tightly. "I'm on my way."

"Thank you," Marcia breathed. Randy had hung up before she had said her thanks, but that was okay. She would just tell him again when he was here. Marcia hung up the phone, rushing back to Two-Bit's side to wait.

When Randy arrived, Marcia could only feel even more relief that he was alone. She wasn't sure where he fell in the group after Bob died, or if he ever hung out with their friends, but she knew that their old friends would have only wanted to hurt Two-Bit more.

"Randy," Marcia was shaking as she felt another sob building in her chest. Randy rushed from his car, having parked behind her car, eyes widening in shock when he took in the situation.

"Woah, okay," Randy's eyes were wide as he took in how bad Two-Bit looked. Marcia could only wonder why he hadn't fought back, a deep seated fear of him having not been able to taking effect in Marcia.

"Where are we taking him, he… Marcia, he needs a lot more help than I think we can give him." Marcia shook her head. If there was one thing she had learned about Two-Bit Mathews, was that he hated hospitals with a burning passion.

And she didn't think he'd let her pay the bills that would come from the trip.

"My house, please, we can't, he won't like being brought to a hospital." Marcia uttered, "I can't move him myself." Her breath hitched as Randy analyzed her. He was looking for something, and Marcia could only hope that he found his answer soon.

"Okay." Marcia sighed, looking towards Two-Bit and moving her hand from his side. There was some blood on her hands, and she swallowed thickly. She was shaking harder than she thought was possible for a person, yet she was very clearly proven wrong. "Move, I'll bring him to my car," Marcia tensed up, a fear rushing through her at having Two-Bit out of her sight. She'd have to deal with it, but it scared her.

Randy rested a hand on her shoulder, she turned her head and found Randy was crouched down next to her. There was an expression of understanding on his face as he squeezed her shoulder.

"I can explain away blood in my car, and I know how to get rid of it. I'll be right behind you, okay? The entire time." Marcia shuddered, nodding once at Randy's assurance. She moved so that Randy could pick Two-Bit up, and she ignored the flutter at the easy lift Randy did once Two-Bit had been lifted enough to get Randy's arms around him.

"Open the back door for me?" Randy asked her, and Marcia nodded as she pushed herself up from the ground. She ran ahead of Randy, opening the door. She was a little surprised to see a tear drop land on the back of her hand. She swallowed nervously as she looked away.

Randy was careful as he put Two-Bit in the backseat; there was a carefulness there that Marcia doubted she would have seen months, if not just some weeks ago. Marcia let Randy shut the door, though her eyes were still on Two-Bit. She could see that there was a cut on his neck, so precariously placed. It was seemingly the main source of the blood covering him.

"Marcia," She looked over at Randy, whose face held a look that told Marcia that she was being too obvious. "Let's go to yours, okay?" Marcia nodded, turning towards her car.

Her thoughts were twisting and turning, mind racing as she got into her car. She purposefully ignored the blood on her hands that was now on her steering wheel and on the gearshift. The blood that was on her keys that belonged to Two-Bit.

She hated fights. She hated when those she loved were hurt or injured.

Marcia was driving, she needed her thoughts on them getting to her house safely.

Marcia couldn't sleep. Her mind was stuck on the image of Two-Bit, laying in the guest room in some of Randy's spare pajamas that didn't quite fit right. They were a tad bit big on Two-Bit, and it made him look smaller than he was.

They'd gotten Two-Bit to her house, and Randy had her go take a shower as he took care of the obvious injuries on Two-Bit, namely the one on his neck that had Marcia's heart racing every time she saw it.

Randy had taken care of Two-Bit, and from the moments she was able to see and watch, Randy was more gentle than he ever had been with Bob. At least, to Marcia's memory.

But once it became night, and Randy had instructed her to go to sleep, her thoughts from earlier had come back to haunt her.

What kind of fight had he been in that he was left in such rough shape? Where were his friends that she had seen have his back more times than he had probably realized. What had he done to piss off whoever he had?

She had made a cup of tea late into the night, when her room had become too stifling for her to pace. She was too nervous, too worried about Two-Bit, to pick up a book to read either.

Which is why she was now in the kitchen, a mug of peppermint tea cupped carefully in her hands as she let herself think. She was hoping that Two-Bit woke up in the morning, or at least sometime during the day. She wasn't sure what she would do if he was unconscious for longer.

The longer he wasn't awake, the more likely something much more serious had happened… Which meant that they would have to take him to the hospital.

"You should be asleep, 'cia." Randy uttered quietly. Marcia turned towards him, surprise rushing through her as she set her cup down quickly. She took a deep breath, a shuddering breath escaping her audible in the silence. His face softened, and Marcia could only feel herself starting to cry in earnest once more.

"Randy-"

"He's going to be okay, you know." Randy moved forward, pulling her into a hug after she set down her mug of tea. She buried her face against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him and letting herself fall into the comfort that Randy was providing.

"I know, but-" Marcia cut herself off. "He looked so bad, who would want to hurt him so badly? What did he do to them?" Marcia asked, voice shaking as she cried. Randy gently rubbed her back as he tightened his hold on her.

"I will find out." Randy uttered, Marcia shuddered. There were a few times that Randy had ever sounded so angry about something, vowing to do something in return. Most times it involved someone hurting or slighting Marcia. "But you need sleep, Marcia. I'll keep an eye on him for the night, alright?"

"Okay," Marcia sighed, letting Randy lead her back to her room, after she grabbed her mug of tea. She spent too long making sure it would be something that would help her, she was not wasting it.

"Finish your tea, get some sleep. I'll wake you up if anything changes about him, okay?" Marcia nodded, moving into her room and waving goodnight to Randy. The door shut and Marcia sighed, moving towards her bed and setting her mug on the bedside before climbing in.

She thought about grabbing her book and reading for a while, but she knew that Randy would probably check on her in an hour. He always did have such a protective streak. She wrapped her blankets around her carefully, grabbing her mug and slowly sipping.

There was nothing she could do now, and Randy was pretty good at patching people up.

She stared down at the drink in her hands with a conflicted mind.

[livestockbird]

Sour Pebbles (Dead Dove Lemongrab Oneshot)

Lemongrab tries dark soda for the first time, causing small pebbles to form inside of him.

·  Genital Torture ·  Mutilation ·  Minor Character Death ·  Hiding Medical Issues ·  Adventure Time References ·  Whump ·  Short One Shot ·  Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

[amberjazmyn]

"i'm still here though, aren't i?"💔🫶

pairing : esteban ocon x fem!ocon reader, platonic f1 grid x fem!ocon reader, mick schumacher x fem!ocon reader

summary : esteban's teenage sister, lottie (collette), had attempted suicide and for the first time since it happened, the brother and sister got into a heated argument in the paddock because lottie refused to talk about it to her brother. this was the argument in which lottie realised just how wrong she was and why it hurt her older brother so much.

warnings : angst, older brother x esteban, fatherless x esteban, fatherless x lottie, failed suicide attempt, teenage sister, crying, yelling

a/n :  this will be an awfully heavy one-shot so, like always, please read with caution or don't read at all. flashbacks to the event of lottie's attempt will be in italics, as will all the other flashbacks and the present time will be in normal font and everything will be in lowercase like all my sad ones have been recently. i love you all and please, stay safe

a/n : like i have already mentioned in the tags, from my knowledge, esteban's dad is still very much alive and he does not have a sister called lottie since esteban is actually an only child. i also had the thought of writing this for mick schumi but then realised it didn't sit right with me so i decided i'd do it for estie but i did make it that lottie is dating mick!

in hindsight, esteban should have known that there was something wrong with his teenage sister, lottie but, he just thought that he was becoming too much of a helicopter brother and turning into their deceased father. i mean, lottie is esteban's youngest sister and one of his two other remaining family members that were alive so, esteban didn't want to constantly get in his sister's way. he wanted her to have some freedom, especially now that she was eighteen, having just turned that age the day before her attempt. however, he should have realised that maybe, he shouldn't have been so far away from his beloved baby sister to the point where she felt like as a last resort to get her older brother's attention that she had to attempt suicide, let alone even think about it for esteban to realise that she still needs her older brother. 

lottie's attempt

it was everything she could have ever wanted. the bathtub was nearly spilling over with water from the bath and the adjacent shower that was sure to run cold in minutes if not seconds. the razor blades, a mix of hers and her brothers, some knives big and small and something resembling an ice pick all rested on a side table that had been brought in, with a large envelope with letters that had been handwritten for every single person in lottie's life from her mum, deceased dad, her brother esteban and her f1 grid best friends all resting in clear view on the side table. she was all still dressed in what she had worn for her birthday dinner the night before, a sweet little white dress that had cut-outs on the side. carefully she stepped into the overflowing bathtub and she began to cut her wrists with one of the few razor blades that she had stolen from her brother's bathroom. lottie had been cutting at her wrists for the past few minutes before she realised she wasn't getting anywhere and she wasn't bleeding as much as she hoped she would. so, that was when she had to bring in the big guns, figuratively.

eighteen-year-old lottie ocon had somehow managed to find an ice pick in her family home and snuck it away into her room when no one was looking. she had grabbed the ice pick, about to stab through one of the major arteries that would have killed her if stabbed in the right place, when the noise of her brother and f1 grid best friends coming home scared her due to the loud front door closing. this then scared lottie, more than she'd ever admit to anyone which caused her to fumble with the ice pick, trying to grab it when it nicked her in the shoulder, causing her to scream and fall back into the bath. the scream obviously made everyone downstairs jump slightly in fear but none more so than esteban. without another second to think, alongside charles, they ran up the stairs and into the bathroom whilst pierre and lando took care of everything downstairs. the two eldest boys ran into esteban's bathroom and what they then saw wasn't something that would easily be erased from their memories. 

"collette louisa rose ocon!" esteban's loud but worried voice called out, reverberating throughout the house as his sister, who had since fainted from the loss of blood and open wounds, lay unresponsive in the bathtub of her older brother's bathroom 

"allez lottie! qu'est-ce que tu t'es fait?!" esteban calls out in french, his accent at its fullest as the two men walk upstairs and straight away, the two of them walk into esteban's bedroom as the majority of the time, he would come home after a long shooting day and either lottie would be asleep cuddled up to his girlfriend, her sister in law, or watching netflix come on lottie! what have you done to yourself?!

however, this time, the tv nor anything else was on to suggest that the scream had come from a tv show or even a youtube video. this obviously sparked the worst fear and unsettling feeling in esteban especially because he knew that flava was with her parents and extended family. the unsettling feeling also capturing charles as the feeling only made them rush into that room that much quicker. once it was realised that none of the downstairs tvs were on so something had to have happened to lottie. it had to be something bad because that scream now could have only come from her.

without even thinking about the fact that his sister could be right in front of the bathroom door about to come out to say it was all a big misunderstanding or that nothing was really wrong, esteban took his chance and kicked in his bathroom door. this then revealed something that was both from his nightmares and only ever seen in the tv and movies that he watched. esteban's entire body almost inwardly collapsed as he tried to think as rationally as he could to get help for his little sister. charles immediately without a second to think, blink or breathe, yanked his phone from his pocked and dialled 112, requesting the closest ambulance whilst esteban attempted to grab his sister's collapsed, wet, bloodied unconscious body out of the bath. which, as you can imagine, ended up being more of a challenge than both men thought. especially when they considered the fact that lottie was fully dressed and the mixture of being completely soaked making her that much heavier to pick up. 

"…estie, les ambulanciers ont été appelés, l'ambulance la plus proche est à trois minutes. est-ce que…as-tu besoin d'un coup de main?" charles calls out, calm and collected as he places his phone to the ground aimlessly to see that esteban was more than struggling to get his younger sister out of the bathtub in his bathroom estie, the paramedics have been called, their closest ambulance is three minutes away. do...do you need a hand? 

"s'il te plaît, charles? je suis tellement confuse, qu'est-ce qu'elle a fait, putain?" esteban mumbled to himself as he tried to figure out what his sister could have even done to herself to draw this amount of blood please charles? i'm so confused, what...what did she fucking do? 

after assisting esteban with removing lottie from the bathtub and to the frenchman's bed, charles had caught onto the things that were resting next to the bathtub and the bathroom sink. he almost choked on his own voice which caught esteban's attention as he looked up from stroking lottie's hair as he sat next to her on his bed. 

"tu vas bien charles? tu as trouvé quelque chose?" esteban spoke up as he tried to attend to his little sister and dry her before the paramedics arrived you alright charles? did you find something?

"estie, il y a un mélange de tes lames de rasoir, ses lames de rasoir, un assortiment de couteaux et… et un pic à glace… elle a trouvé un pic à glace, se poignardant car elle n'était pas satisfaite que ses lames de rasoir et ses couteaux ne soient pas faisant tout ce qu'elle voulait, alors elle a essayé de se poignarder directement…" charles trailed off, really making esteban feel sick estie, there's a mix of your razor blades, her razor blades, an assortment of knives and...and an ice pick...she found an ice pick, stabbing herself since she felt unsatisfied that her razor blades and knives weren't doing as much as she wanted them to so she tried to directly stab herself

"...how...how did she even know what an ice pick is, let alone find one, charles?" esteban stammered out, not even able to be mad or blame anyone as charles just shook his head, not knowing either how...how did she even know what an ice pick is, let alone find one, charles? 

"je..je ne sais pas estie, je…je n'aurais jamais imaginé qu'un membre de ta famille en possède un, alors où l'a-t-elle trouvé?" charles was just as flabbergasted that his best friend's younger sister could have found an ice pick just like how esteban was shocked that his sister could find it i...i don't know estie, i...i would have never imagined anyone in your family owning one so where did she find it? 

"elle était clairement très intelligente et particulière à ce sujet," charles mumbled as esteban nodded his head as the two of them then focused back over to lottie who was still unconscious and unresponsive when esteban realised something she was clearly very smart and particular about it though 

it confused him because it was very obvious that, where her stab wound from the ice pick was, was not where she was clearly intending for it to be. then it clicked in esteban's head, realising what his little sister had tried to do and it made him dizzy, feel sick and choke on his tears. his eyes then followed his sister to the bathroom sink where charles had previously found the ice pick, knives and razor blades and then found an envelope. this moment was when it seemed like it all finally connected and made sense to esteban and it was a connection that seemed to be all too obvious as well. lottie's accident was anything but an accident.

esteban finally realised that she had done this all on purpose because she was trying to commit suicide but, ultimately failed. this all made sense when he thought about the stab wound in lottie's shoulder, she wouldn't have ever stabbed herself in the shoulder if she wanted to kill herself, no one would, she was obviously trying to get her neck or an artery where she would have died instantly. it seemed as if the moment that he and the grid had walked into the house that the door slamming due to the loud winds outside scared lottie, hence the failed stab wound on her part. however, esteban had never been so grateful for the fact he had caught his sister on time, he couldn't lose another family member for the second time in the span of a couple of years, not again. he was also glad when the loud intrusive noises of the ambulance sirens were heard, it meant that his sister had the possibility of being saved. charles also had a moment to breathe as well as what he had seen was also traumatising for him, sure, he wasn't actually lottie's biological brother or family, and neither were the other f1 drivers but, those boys are the closest things to esteban. 

present time

despite being discharged from the hospital for about two months now, lottie was still stuck on the fact that she didn't owe anyone an explanation of what happened so, she refused to talk about what happened and why she did what she did. this was something that the extended f1 grid family understood because it was a boundary for her and, they didn't push it. however, esteban, her brother, did because that's his little sister, of course, he was going to push it because he wanted an answer from his sister. something, anything, just one little thing that could satisfy him enough that he could breathe and go to sleep easier at night without worrying about something else horrible happening to his sister. and go into a race weekend without having to worry about whether or not his sister is okay. however, lottie wasn't ready to provide an answer for her brother just yet and, usually, esteban would 100% understand that but, this time, he couldn't let it go. the last time that happened, he nearly lost his baby sister, his only sibling, and was almost a suicide statistic. that was something he did not want, not at all, not again, especially since their dad was part of the heart attack death statistic. he wasn't wanting to take that chance again only to possibly lose his sister again. 

"...lottie, fille ange, pouvons-nous discuter s'il te plaît?" esteban suddenly asks his sister as she had come into the paddock to watch the race easier, having a chat with her sister-in-law flava and kika, pierre's girlfriend lottie, angel girl, can we have a chat please?

"bien sûr que nous pouvons estie, quoi de neuf?" lottie smiled, saying a quick goodbye to flava and kika before sitting down on the bench next to her brother sure we can estie, what's up?

"je sais que ça fait deux mois que c'est arrivé, l'accident. je comprends que tu refuses de m'en parler et que tu dis toujours que tu ne dois d'explication à personne. ce n'est pas moi qui vous fais délibérément en parler en détail, mais pouvez-vous juste me donner quelque chose… n'importe quoi comme raison pour laquelle vous pensiez que votre vie était si insignifiante que vous avez fait le choix que vous avez fait?" esteban spoke calmly, he wasn't raising his voice, he wasn't making a scene, he was just simply and kindly asking his sister a question that had been eating at his insides for an entire two months i know that it's been two months since it happened, the accident. i understand that you refuse to talk to me about it and that you always say you don't owe anyone an explanation. this is not me purposefully making you talk about it in full detail but, can you just give me something...anything as a reason why you though your life was so insignificant that you made the choice that you did?

lottie, however, didn't hear and process that question the same way. she saw that as her brother invading and attacking her personal space. and, she hated it on the outside even though her insides were just waiting to hear it because she just wanted to be heard but at the same time, she didn't because of how stubborn she is. 

"estie, s'il te plaît, arrête! je ne suis pas prêt à en parler, alors pouvons-nous, s'il vous plaît, ne pas avoir cette conversation, surtout ici?" lottie begged as she gulped, obviously embarrassed over the fact that she was in the paddock of a grand prix and it was being talked about - not because of what she did estie, please, stop! i'm not ready to talk about it so, can we please not have this conversation, especially here?

"lottie, je t'ai donné ton espace et ton temps même si cela me donne mal au ventre chaque jour! peux-tu s'il te plaît juste me donner quelque chose? fais-moi comprendre ta version de l'histoire. est-ce que tu comprends au moins ce que tu as fait?" esteban slightly raises his voice which makes lottie panic slightly because, in all truthfulness, the girl had no real understanding or concept of the consequences her suicide attempt had lottie, i've given you your space and time even though it has made me sick to my stomach every single day! can you please just give me something? make me understanding your sie of the story. do you even understand what you did?

"je comprends ce que j'ai fait et cela m'énerve chaque jour où j'ai échoué. pourquoi penses-tu que j'ai essayé en premier lieu?" now lottie was raising her voice and it was becoming quite clear that at this point, she was not meaning what she was saying - she didn't even realise the words she was even saying, she literally just wanted to one-up her brother i do understand what i did and it annoys me every single day that i failed. why do you think i attempted it in the first place?

"lottie, fille ange, tu ne veux pas dire ça!" esteban was getting more and more agitated, lottie could tell and whilst it broke her heart, it made her want to fight him even more so, she did lottie, angel girl, you don't mean that!

"je le pense vraiment, esteban ! si seulement vous n'étiez pas tous les quatre rentrés à la maison au bon moment et qu'il n'y avait pas autant de vent, le pic à glace ne m'aurait pas entaillé l'épaule. cela m'aurait frappé directement dans l'artère carotide et je serais mort en quelques minutes, voire quelques secondes!" lottie's voice was loud, it was aggressive, it was mean and there was no ounce of regret or remorse for what she said and it hurt everyone that heard it i really do mean it, esteban! if only it wasn't for the fact that all of you boys came home at the exact right time and it wasn't so windy, the ice pick wouldn't have nicked my shoulder. it would've got me straight in the carotid artery and i would have been dead within minutes if not seconds!

lottie was smart, of course, she was! her mum was a stay at home mum but was nevertheless a smart cookie and her dad, when he was still alive was a mechanic before they sold it so they could support esteban's motorsport passion. and of course, esteban was also a very intelligent man. however, sometimes, lottie overshoot herself and make choices that came from only hearing one person's point of view. which is what was happening right now which caused her to be confused and hard-headed. it was very obvious that what lottie was saying right now was nothing remotely close to what she'd usually say, even if it sounded and looked as if she meant it without any regret. right now she'd usually be trying to backtrack or explain herself which would sometimes cause her to breakdown. lottie knew that no matter what, she'd always be given the comfort she needed and the forgiveness even after her suicide attempt and the way she was acting right now.

"collette louisa rose ccon, réalises-tu les dommages du choix que tu as fait il y a deux mois? comprenez-vous la douleur que cela m'a fait subir?" nicky's voice was going up an octave due to his emotions slowly taking over as he stood up collette louisa rose ocon, do you realise the damage from that choice you made two months ago? do you understand the pain it put me through?

"peut-être que oui, et peut-être pas, mais je suis toujours là, n'est-ce pas?" lottie screeched as she also stood up to match her brother whilst esteban stood back in shock as he shook his head maybe i do and maybe i don't but i'm still here though, aren't i?

"oui, tu es là! je suis putain de content que tu sois encore en vie, mais si tu comprends et écoute vraiment ce que je vais dire ensuite, alors tu comprendras vraiment le chagrin, la douleur, l'horreur et l'anxiété dans lesquels tu m'as mis, ainsi que chaque conducteur ce paddock à travers!" esteban paused as lottie locked her jaw as she braced herself for what her brother was going to say next yes, you are here! i'm fucking glad you're still alive but if you just understand and really listen to what i'm going to say next, then you'll truly understand the grief, pain, horror and anxiety you put me and every single driver in this paddock through!

"collette, non seulement tu as volé un pic à glace à je ne sais même pas où ni qui et tu as attrapé tous les couteaux que tu pouvais trouver, mais tu as aussi brisé tous les rasoirs de ma salle de bain et tu as emmené ce putain de pic à glace dans ce qui était à l'origine ta carotide artère et de vous poignarder dans ma baignoire après avoir réalisé que le simple fait de vous couper n'allait pas vous tuer ni vous satisfaire suffisamment. tu n'as aucune idée à quel point Charles et moi avons été horrifiés quand nous avons entendu ce cri et t'avons vu allongé là, inconscient, dans ma baignoire remplie d'eau ensanglantée…" collette, you not only stole an ice pick from i don't even know where or who and grabbed any knife you could find, but you also broke apart every single razor in my bathroom and took that fucking ice pick to what was originally your carotid artery and stab yourself in my bathtub after you realised that just cutting yourself wasn't going to kill yourself or satisfy you enough. you have no idea how horrified charles and i were when we heard that scream and saw you laying there just unconscious in my bathtub that was filled with bloodied water

"...esteban--"

"--non! collette, tu ne parles pas parce que tu ne sembles pas comprendre la gravité des conséquences de tes actes d'il y a deux mois!" no! collette, you don't get to speak because you don't seem to grasp the seriousness of the consequences of your actions from two months ago!

"vous n'avez aucune idée à quel point pierre et lando ont eu peur lorsqu'ils ont également entendu ce cri venant d'en bas alors qu'ils regardaient charles et moi nous précipiter dans les escaliers pour t'aider, pour être sûrs que tu restes en vie! vous n'avez aucune idée du nombre de larmes que j'ai pleuré dans cet hôpital, du nombre d'heures que j'ai passées éveillées à espérer et à prier tous les dieux auxquels je pouvais penser, en espérant juste que vous vous réveilliez!" you have no clue how scared pierre and lando were when they also heard that scream from downstairs as they watched charles and i rush up those stairs to help you, to make sure you stayed alive! you don't have any clue how many tears i cried at that hospital, how many hours i spent laying awake hoping and praying to any and every god i could think of, just hoping that you would wake up!

"combien de cauchemars ai-je fait dans lesquels je me précipitais dans cette pièce et ne parvenais pas à te sauver? combien d'heures ai-je passé assis dans cette horrible chaise inconfortable, mon corps tout entier étant engourdi parce que je n'avais pas bougé un seul membre de ce siège? la dernière fois que je me suis senti aussi impuissant, c'est quand j'ai dû sauter et sprinter hors de ma putain de voiture de formule 1 après avoir découvert que quelque chose n'allait pas avec papa, puis on m'a dit qu'il s'était effondré au travail et qu'il était mort plus tard, collette." how many nightmates i had about me running into that room and not being able to save you? how many hours i spent sitting in that god-awful comfortable chair, my entire body going numb because i didn't move one single limb off of that seat? the last time i felt this helpless was when i had to jump and sprint out of my fucking formula one car after finding out something was wrong with dad then being told he collapsed at work and then later died, collette

"i am trying, i am trying so fucking hard to take care of you on my own without mum to make sure you are happy. i am so desperately sorry that whatever it was that i did had made you feel this way and that was what you had to do to get my attention. if it was my fault, i will take full responsibility for it but, please, just give me one little piece of anything that will tell me why you thought writing those suicide letters and trying to kill yourself was the right thing to do. just so i can go to sleep and my races without the crippling fear that you'll try to do it again when i'm asleep or in the car and not able to help you causing me to only be left with one less family member. please, i beg you, collette, just talk to me..." esteban's anger trailed away as did his agitated french as he spoke in english as he saw the way his sister's face changed as tears welled in her eyes

this was the first time since it happened that lottie was finally able to comprehend the consequences of her suicide attempt had actually done to everyone. this comprehension of her consequences scared the living crap out of her and now she understood what everyone else was going through. finally, it had sunk into her head that she did try to kill herself with an ice pick that even she couldn't remember where she found it and that she was originally aiming for her carotid artery after the scars on her arm weren't as effective as she thought they would be before resorting to the ice pick. she couldn't even say anything before she let her head tipped to the floor as she started to cry. esteban stepping two steps forward as he held her as her cries got louder, not able to find it within herself to stop crying.

"...i...i am so sorry esteban," she whimpered out in english as her soft, tearful apology broke esteban's heart into millions of tiny pieces as he hugged his sister tightly, grateful that the race wasn't actually going to continue due to the prolonged red flag

"oh, lottie, angel, ssh. it's okay," esteban spoke softly as he hugged his little sister as tightly as he ever had before whilst everyone else just watched on hoping that the both of them would stop their fighting 

"no esteban, it wasn't okay and it'll never be okay. i...i had no reason to even think like that," lottie sobbed out as she hadn't clutched onto her brother's shirt this tight in years 

"you're human, lottie, that's all you need to be told to know that what you were feeling was incredibly valid. in fact, i am so incredibly sorry that i didn't see the signs earlier. i love you so much collette louisa rose ocon, i really do. you are my entire world, you are one of the very last things that dad helped bless me with and if i was to be on this earth without you, i...i really don't know how i'd still be able to breathe every day. you along with mum and my f1 family are my one reason, the only thing in have and need to know that i am allowed to smile and continue on with my life. and that is because lottie, you are my little sister! i love you so incredibly much and whilst you scare me half the time *tearful giggles* i wouldn't want to change anything about you because i can't. all i can do is siply guide you through life like mum and dad and just hope that what i'm doing is right. you are such an intelligent girl that i truly do worry about you but my god, you have no clue how thankful i am that your eyes opened on that day two months ago! i am so beyond thankful that you woke up..." esteban trailed off as lottie managed to calm herself down but remained silent in her brother's embrace, ignoring that most likely this had been filmed by the f1 media and was being aired live as they moved back to sit down

two months ago 

it seemed as though esteban would be waiting an eternity before his little sister would open her eyes and wake up from the coma she had been placed in after her suicide attempt. right at this moment, however, esteban didn't care how long it took as he wouldn't be moving a single muscle until his sister's gorgeous blue eyes opened, which the entire family had inherited, and looked back into his own blue eyes. he didn't care that he was losing sleep, that he was constantly dehydrated from refusing food and drink and all the tears he was crying. he didn't care that his entire body was slowly becoming numb due to staying in the same position day in and day out. the older brother was even refusing to work because he didn't want to miss the moment his sister opened her eyes.  he was adamant that his little sister was going to pull through and recover from her attempt and live another day. esteban just wanted some belief that his little sister wasn't going to die on him, he had already been through that with their father.

he really didn't want to go through it a second time for another year because that year with the loss of not just their dad but so many good friends which were so traumatic that he almost gave up his own life before lottie, still unbeknownst to her, literally saved his life. he never wanted his sweet, precious little sister, his innocent and loving little collete louisa rose to be subjected to such pain, the same one that he had from their dad's death that it never registered in his mind that she was also hurting from their dad's death which he ignored. obviously unintentionally as he'd never intentionally ignore his sister, ever. but this time, he was just so caught up in his own way of taking care of business whilst trying to stay afloat that he, completely forgot that lottie was going through the same exact thing but maybe just that much more because of how young she was when their dad died at seventeen. 

"lottie, angel, i...i am so sorry!" esteban's exhausted, desperate voice apologised, his head resting on his sister's bed as he begged for the little (eighteen-year-old) girl to just open her eyes 

"i'm so sorry that i was so ignorant of your feelings and how much you were missing dad! i...i just got so caught up in everything that i-" 

"-estie?" a soft, delicate but barely audible voice grabbed esteban's attention 

straight away, his head snapped up and the second his faded blue eyes met with his sister's faded blue eyes, he almost choked on his words 

"lottie?" his weak voice whispered as lottie struggled to push herself up against the bed's frame, esteban fully straightened himself out as he was still trying to comprehend what happened 

lottie's vision blurred, as did esteban's, as she tried to figure out in her head where she was when, it did finally click in her head where she was, ignoring what she had done. all she allowed herself to know was that she was in the hospital in monaco.

"lottie!" esteban's voice cracked as lottie moved closer to her brother and he also moved closer as esteban hugged his sister, a hug that had been long overdue 

"i...i am so sorry!" lottie whispered into the hug as all esteban cared about right now was that his sister was awake, knowing that for a while, lottie would be very stubborn, ignorant and pretend it didn't exist so, for her, that's what he did as well 

"no, no, it's okay! don't apologise angel! you're awake, that's all that matters to me!" esteban cooed as a nurse must have realised that lottie had woken up as within a couple of minutes, lottie was having her vitals checked and was taken off of all the extra tubes she was attached to as it was very obvious she was now awake after they had taken her out of the coma the night before 

however, she was having to stay in the hospital for a while in the suicide watch ward just to make sure she was safe enough on her own which, she and esteban understood perfectly. it just meant that by the time she was discharged that she'd have a lot of explaining to do, not just to herself but, also to her f1 grid family. 

lottie's twenty-first birthday

today was the third anniversary of lottie's failed suicide attempt as well as the day after her twenty-first birthday which was a big deal for her and her family. meaning that in another two months' time, it was going to be the "anniversary" of the argument that the brother and sister had about the said suicide attempt. since that day, the two of them, esteban and lottie, had been going to therapy and not once was it regretted. it worked so well that not once did the brother or sister hold back on their feelings and, it truthfully brought the two of them unexplainably closer together. 

however, there was one singular thing that stood out to esteban the most about his sister's attempt those three years ago. it was something she had said at one of the therapy sessions she had invited charles, esteban's teammate and one of her f1 brothers, who had also found her that day three years ago. despite how soul-destroyingly simple it was, it made so much sense and everything clicked in the two men's heads. the mantra that every single person had told her after losing their dad, that it was going to get better and that everything was going to be okay, had been lost so far down into lottie's mind. to the point that she forgot that she had been given permission to not be okay and feel like nothing was going to get better that it had confused her and meddled with her mind. for so long that it felt like nothing was working for her anymore that the only option that she thought was going to help her was to try and kill herself. 

liked by colletteocon, charlesleclerc, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, flava.barla and 14k others

estebanocon collette louisa rose ocon, my sweet angel. twenty-one years ago yesterday i was given the biggest blessing in the entire world, i was given you, my little sister. whilst you have gone through so much in the last three years, i couldn't have been any prouder of how you've gotten up off the floor and continued on. you inspire me every single day and i know you inspire every single person in our family, both blood-related and extended f1 family. i know i always say this but, you are truly the reason why me and mum are able to wake up every morning and smile. i know we've had it rough, especially with dad's death a few years ago, the losses of other friends and your suicide attempt three years ago today as well as your birthday yesterday. i am so proud of the way you've handled all of these hardships whilst also being so positive at the same time. since the attempt three years ago, you've never once allowed yourself to give up because you want to prove to that scared little eighteen-year-old lottie that you are strong and that you can do everything and anything you put your mind to because you are lottie louisa rose ocon and we never give up, ever! i know mum is proud of you, as am i but, never forget how proud dad is of you. we are so grateful that we were blessed with you as my sister and daughter. i know you had an amazing birthday yesterday but have fun in greece with the girls and your boyfriend and i hope all of your wishes come true. i love you forever and a day lottie, i love you every single day 🤍🤍

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colletteocon aw, estie, you are my favourite person in the entire world! i love you so much and thank you for being such an amazing older brother! i never take you for granted, love you most estie 🤍🤍

estebanocon colletteocon🤍🤍 i'm glad to be your favourite person in the world 

charlesleclerc happy twenty-first lottie lots! have an amazing weekend and drink responsibly 🤍🤍

pierregasly happy birthday lottie! what a sweet birthday message this is esteban! 

francisca.cgomes this is so precious. happy birthday my sweet lottie louisa 🤍🤍

flava.barla happy twenty-first sister-in-law! be safe in greece 🤍🤍

username this was such a sweet post for your sister, esteban! 

liked by estebanocon, mickschumacher, sebastianvettel, maxverstappen1, charlesleclerc, pierregasly, flava.barla and 14k others

colletteocon you turn twenty-one, travel to greece and live your mamma mia fantasy with your besties and boyfriend! 📸 mickschumacher 

*

happy twenty-first for yesterday collette louisa rose ocon. it makes me so happy to see you turn twenty-one. three years ago, you weren't even thinking this far ahead or even making nineteenth but, you did. now you're twenty-one and whilst you have been able to drink since you were eighteen, you can now drink in america! you used to be so shy, anxious, depressed, insecure and suicidal and you didn't like having any attention to yourself. now, at twenty-one, you've grown up to be so sassy, gorgeous, confident, loving, courageous, happy and a hilarious young woman who has a smoking hot lad for a boyfriend, even better that he's also an f1 driver, mick, one amazing brother esteban and another entire group of people who you call your family who has seen you grown up as you live your best life and i couldn't be prouder of you.

it's also been a couple of years since dad died, since others we love have died and three years since you thought the entire world would be better without you so you tried to stab yourself in the neck. you ended up fumbling with the ice pick and nicked your shoulder because your older brother and f1 brothers had all come home at the same time, and the mixture of the strong winds and the closing of the door scared you. you were admitted to the hospital for two months but after turning nineteen, twenty and now twenty-one, you are so beyond grateful that you survived the attempt. you don't regret the attempt because both you and esteban promised that after that day, you'd live without regrets, you just wished that you felt confident in talking to esteban or someone else about your emotions and the things that you had happening inside of your brain that could have prevented the suicide attempt. you can't even begin to imagine the thought process that would have been going through esteban and charles' heads but as well as the rest of your best friends heads the second they heard your scream reverberate through the house. just thinking about it makes you nauseous and upsets you, so you don't like to think about it often, but when you do, you always find yourself apologising. no longer to your brother and family but, to yourself for ever feeling that sad that you thought killing yourself was the best option when it's very clear now that, that choice was the worst choice you could have ever tried to make. 

happy twenty-first collette louisa rose ocon. you deserve all the happiness in the world, even if it took a mile run, a deep underwater swim and a struggle to get here, i'm glad you made it safely. i love you forever and a day you gorgeous angel 🤍🤍

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estebanocon i am so proud of you lottie. this post made me cry just so you know. but i love you so much and i hope you, mick and the girls have an amazing time in greece 🤍🤍

colletteocon estebanocon i love you too esteban and i'm also proud of myself! and we are having the best time in greece thank you 🤍🤍

mickschumacher i love you, babe! i am so glad you're still here, you make my world so much brighter every single day 🤍🤍

colletteocon mickschumacher thank you, my love! and you make my world so much brighter every day 🤍🤍

sebastianvettel ain't no way you're twenty-one! happy birthday lottie, i'm glad you're still here with us chickadee 🤍🤍

colletteocon sebastianvettel ain't no way you still love me? thank you uncle seb, i'm glad too 🤍🤍

maxverstappen1 who said you could post this? don't be making me so emotional now! 

colletteocon maxverstappen1 i did? and i'm sorry okay!!!

charlesleclerc uhhh who said you could turn twenty-one? because last time i checked, i thought i banned you from turning another year older?! seriously though, i'm always going to be glad knowing that you're still here 🤍🤍

colletteocon charlesleclerc the circle of life? and thank you charlie, i am as well 🤍🤍

pierregasly happy twenty-first lottie! have fun and be safe in greece! 

colletteocon pierregasly thank you pierre! and i don't think its actually legal for me to have fun without you and the rest of the grid but i'll try ;) 

flava.barla happy twenty-first babe! be safe and don't be too sexy in greece, i know what you and schumi are like together ;)

colletteocon flava.barla flava! how would you know what me and my boyfriend do?! do you stalk us you creepy little snake?! 😂

it's okay to struggle but, it is not okay to stop the fight. one wise man once told me to always keep fighting and you should do the same because it's pretty cool. 

fin

that's a wrap! i have not rewritten this one in a while and i do apologise for putting poor estie bestie through the wringer of my angsty rollarcoaster. next time i write for estie it won't be this sad!

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[janeelyakiri]

Chapter 6 is up! And oh look, chapter names!

[alarryrec]

They had never been face to face before now. They’d never touched, skin to skin, until Harry landed a punch to his face, high on his cheekbone.

Louis shoved him off and was pulling his fist back from Harry’s abdomen before he realized his face wasn’t tingling because of the pain.

It pooled out from his cheek, over his face, down his neck and spine. A shiver in the late September night. Heat, sparks - whatever you wanted to fucking call it.

or The Tomlinson and Cox gangs have hated each other for over forty years. Harry Styles, the grandson of Gritty Cox, was freshly back to the city after uni when, on his first night out, he punched the Tomlinson heir in the face. It shouldn’t have mattered, their gangs have done worse to each other. But all it took was one single touch to recognize your soulmate. Louis was adamant that being soulmates changed nothing, not who they were or which family they were loyal to. Or, at least, it shouldn’t have.

13/13 | 72K | E

[thatonecode]

when los campesinos! said “And when the third world war comes it will not be fought on race, we will line up here in two rows, betrayers versus betrayed” and “I assembled former ghosts at a seance. Said I missed ‘em you only have to say it once. What i truly fear, maybe selfishly, when i finally rest someone will summon me” and “We tread it carefully, we feel around in kid gloves. What death will leave behind, death will leave behind love. We will flower again i have surely seen it, we will flower again” and “Two wrists, two wrist watches. Tick-tick-tocking, second hand slightly out of time. A constant subtle reminder, one of us will be gone before bells of the other chime.” and “And I feel like I'm the host of a terrible game show and the guests on today's quiz are celebrities. Wont respond to any clues theyre just cracking jokes for views, but the answers to these questions mean everything.” and “I ask before I go, for you to drop a match down my throat, and smoke the bastard out, or burn him to a crisp. Cause i'm already carrion, been eaten from inside for too long” and “There was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats, in rows from transcept to chancel to nave. And when their anger had paused i turned and answered their calls with youre just audience I’m the applause” and “We burnt all the skin from the palms of my hands, with an old zippo lighter and deodorant can. I went to the palmist and asked her to read, no heart line no sun line no life line no need” and “If you were given the option of dying painlessly in peace at 45, but with a lover at your side, after a full and happy life. Is this something that would interest you? Would this interest you at all?” and “In a note I read: “if you should go blind and deaf I’ll cleanse and I’ll cook for you daily, I will take a dry ballpoint pen and trace on your chest all of the conversations that we now have in bed” i dont mean to be selfish, but i think i’d sooner just be dead" and “But if this changed your life did you have one before?” and “We learn over time, that tolerance is more appealing in theory than in practice. I identify my star sign by asking which is least compatible with yours” and “I cannot emphasize enough that my body, is a badly designed poorly put together vessel harbouring these diminishing so called vital organs, i hope my heart goes first I HOPE MY HEART GOES FIRST” and “On your request I compiled a list of my top five resolutions for this year (1!) I declined, cause Ive decided that I (2!) do not believe in the new year anymore (3!) and you must confess that at times like these hopefulness is tantamount hopelessness (4!) and i accept that its time for a change but not in places (5!) like this (5!) with people (5!) like these (5!)” and “And no more conversations about which breakfast club character you'd be. I’d be the one that dies. (no one dies) Well then what’s the point?” and “Doe eyes, you’re kidding yourself” and-

[notruercolors]

Rise of The Archer: Stranger Things Fanfiction

Abigail Henderson's life had been simple until her sophomore year of high school. Not only is still dealing with the normal scandals of living in a small town in Indiana suddenly the world wasn't as black and white between reality and fantasy. It all started when Will went missing. Nothing in Hawkins has been normal ever since. Abigail is going to have to find a balance between fighting monsters, that should not exist, and her normal life. How will she ever manage to survive this without completely losing herself in the process?

Chapter 1

[surpriserose]

I read minor detail by Adania Shibli last night and christ i cant recommend it enough its horrifying and extremely well written and effective

[alien-bunny-art]

I'm just going to put this here and hide:

You died again, and now your stuck with Lawrence...

Sexual content and implied cannibalism.

[arobinsfeatherinthewind]

To Rip the Nails Out of the Past - Whumpuary D03

To Rip the Nails Out of the Past

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1,471

Summary

"Come on, honey, I got you." Sodapop murmured, holding Ponyboy protectively. "It was just a nightmare, you're safe." Ponyboy sobbed as he turned and leaned into Sodapop. "So-" Sodapop immediately shushed him. Normally that would have annoyed Ponyboy, and it did, but a bolt of lightning flashed through the sky and another loud boom of thunder followed nearly immediately. It had almost sounded like a never ending roll that took a bit to disappear. Ponyboy was sobbing all over again, and panicking and trying to get away from anything constricting. All he could think about was being held underwater. It seemed to be all that he could think about whenever a storm came through now.

Or, or, the one where a particularly bad rain storm rolls over Tulsa on the same night that a particularly nasty nightmare brings Ponyboy back to the night that he nearly died. Thankfully, and unfortunately, his brothers have become quite good at helping Ponyboy through both issues. Title from | Blown Away | by | Carrie Underwood |

Day 03 of Whumpuary2025 (@whumpuary) || Choice | Storm | Black Eye

You can also read | To Rip the Nails Out of the Past | on Ao3!

Warnings Include: Mentions of a Near Death of a Minor, Mentions of a Minor Nearly Drowning

……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ………

Ponyboy flinched awake at the first crack of thunder, eyes widening as the start of yet another rain storm started to pour down onto Tulsa.

Ponyboy swallowed as he curled up a little more, there was a feeling of fear rushing through him that wasn't erased despite Sodapop's arms wrapped around him like Ponyboy was a teddy bear.

Now, normally, just the comfort of his brother being there would have worked at easing Ponyboy's fear, but at that moment everything around him felt like too much. Sodapop's arms felt too tight and the thunder was almost a continuous roll that felt like it was shaking through the house, felt like it was shaking right through Ponyboy.

Another crack of thunder that rolled through the house had Ponyboy shivering slightly as his breath caught in his throat. He wanted to carefully make his way out of his and Sodapop's room, but his brother really was clinging to him tight enough that Ponyboy wouldn't be able to do so without waking him.

And after the last three nights of constant nightmares and Ponyboy being sick for a small while just before that… waking Sodapop was the last thing that Ponyboy wanted to do.

Ponyboy swallowed again, inhaling a shaky breath as he squeezed his eyes closed and turned his head into his pillow. He carefully moved just enough to get his arms under his pillow so that he could wrap his arms around it.

The next flash of lightning had Ponyboy squeezing his eyes closed. Thunder rolled and, somehow, the rain picked up even more. Ponyboy swallowed as he tried to get himself to fall asleep. Any sleep would be preferred.

Ponyboy choked on a gasp as he bolted into a sitting position, tearing himself away from everything that was touching him. A sob escaped him, a cry escaping him as he fell off of the bed. Of course, Ponyboy didn't really think, as he turned to try and catch himself and he'd knocked into the bedside table.

His eye stung as the tears fell down his face as he thrashed to untangle from the blanket that was wrapped so tightly around his legs.

"Ponyboy? Pony, baby, honey," Ponyboy cried, his eyes squeezed closed as he pulled his knees, still trapped, towards his chest. He'd wrapped his arms around his knees and tucked his head down as another sob forced its way out of his chest.

There was nothing but a moment before he felt someone, Sodapop, wrapping their arms around him.

"Come on, honey, I got you." Sodapop murmured, holding Ponyboy protectively. "It was just a nightmare, you're safe." Ponyboy sobbed as he turned and leaned into Sodapop.

"So-" Sodapop immediately shushed him. Normally that would have annoyed Ponyboy, and it did, but a bolt of lightning flashed through the sky and another loud boom of thunder followed nearly immediately. It had almost sounded like a never ending roll that took a bit to disappear.

Ponyboy was sobbing all over again, and panicking and trying to get away from anything constricting. All he could think about was being held underwater. It seemed to be all that he could think about whenever a storm came through now.

"Pony, Ponyboy, hey, hey, it's okay." Ponyboy choked on another sob as Sodapop pulled him back. His arms were a little tighter around Ponyboy this time, and Ponyboy fell limp against his brother. "You are safe, it's okay, I'm right here." Sodapop repeated a small mantra in Ponyboy's ear, rubbing his back and holding onto Ponyboy like he'd disappear if Sodapop let go.

Ponyboy thought that he just might.

It took some time before they moved back to the bed, Ponyboy occasionally freaking out again and Sodapop pulling him back in, pulling him closer and holding him tighter to try and help ground Ponyboy.

"I-I di-didn't wan' to wake you," Ponyboy was scrubbing at the tears falling down his face, and there was a small coo as Sodapop pulled Ponyboy against his chest. Sodapop took an extra moment to pull Ponyboy's hands down from his face before Ponyboy rubbed his face near raw.

"Baby, honey," Sodapop sighed, pulling Ponyboy closer and a tighter. "I don't care how many times I'm woken up during the night, I promise you," Sodapop murmured. Ponyboy shuddered as another crack of thunder rumbled around them.

Ponyboy shuddered as he took a harsh inhale; the rain had started to pour down. It was pounding harshly against their rooftop and he could hear it pattering against the windows.

"Baby, hey, come back to me." Ponyboy didn't know what Sodapop meant until he found himself staring with blurry vision at his older brother. Sodapop was cupping Ponyboy's face in his hands, wiping his tears as they fell. "Focus on me honey."

"Soda-" Ponyboy's voice broke as he closed his eyes tightly, pushing himself closer as Sodapop wrapped his arms around Ponyboy again. "I hate-I-I-" Ponyboy's breath came out harshly as he felt himself pull his knees up towards his chest as he properly curled up against Sodapop.

"I've got you honey, just let it out." Sodapop's breathing was even, and there was a solid beat underneath where Ponyboy's head was pressed against. Faintly, Ponyboy could hear that someone was moving about the house. His guess was that Darry had heard something and was checking it out, or maybe there was a leak and Darry was trying to stop it from getting worse.

It was sound that was not caused directly by the rain, so Ponyboy focused on it as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Everything alright in here?" Ponyboy was nearly asleep when he'd heard the door get quietly push open. Darry's voice was quiet, but it was unmistakeable and with just the quiet breathing of Sodapop and the occasional sniffles stuttery breaths from Ponyboy, his voice sounded a lot louder than it was.

"Yeah, just the storm. I've got him." Sodapop sounded exhausted, and Ponyboy felt worse about having accidentally woken Sodapop up in the first place.

"You sure? I can bring him to my room for the night if anything." Ponyboy was almost certain that Darry would never have offered such a thing had he known Ponyboy was awake.

Maybe he would have and Ponyboy was being to hard on his brother again. It wasn't the first time, but it didn't happen nearly as much as it used to. For one, Ponyboy no longer could understand why he thought Darry hated him in the first place.

"Darry, I got him. Besides, he's sleeping." Sodapop bantered back, Ponyboy felt the arm that was wrapped around him tighter briefly before it relaxed again. Ponyboy sighed slightly, feeling the growing headache that had started after he'd finally stopped sobbing finally start to wade just a little.

"Pepsi, honey, you've helped for every night this week, what with the storms and his nightmares. Let me help out some, yeah?" Darry must have moved closer, because it sounded like he was crouched down next to his and Sodapop's bed.

"What about work?" Sodapop sounded even more tired, and Ponyboy could almost imagine his eyes drooping now that Ponyboy was calm and seemingly asleep.

"I got off tomorrow, come on, let me grab him." Ponyboy could feel Sodapop move slightly, and then there were arms underneath him lifting him up. "He's still too light."

"I know, but it's better than seven months ago." He's better than seven months ago. Ponyboy knew that's what Sodapop meant, he'd heard Sodapop and Darry talking a few weeks prior, talking about him. He'd figured that they had a monthly chat just about Ponyboy.

He hated it as much as it made him feel cared for.

Ponyboy could hear Sodapop turn over, he'd probably dropped right back off to sleep, as Darry carried Ponyboy out of his and Sodapop's shared room. Ponyboy wondered if Darry had left a few doors open to move around the house a little easier if he had to frequent different rooms.

Ponyboy groaned, shifting as he forced his eyes open. They were in the hallway and Darry was moving them towards his room.

"Dar'y?"

"Shh, go back to sleep Little Colt," Darry uttered quietly, shifting so that Ponyboy was a little more comfortable in his arms. Ponyboy sighed, closing his eyes again as Darry got to his room.

Darry carefully tucked Ponyboy into his bed, brushing his hair back and pressing a kiss to Ponyboy's temple, before moving to leave the room. There was a leak that he needed to take care of before he could lay back down.

He'd have to check on Ponyboy's eye tomorrow, as there was definitely a cut that just missed his eye. He worried it was going to bruise, but he elected to try not to worry about that until the morning.

[wanderin-cowboy]

New chapter of Meet Me On The Strange Trails is UP! Please go check it out (and maybe leave a comment?)

Here’s a few snippets of chapter 13: “Maddest Man This Town Has Ever Seen”:

1. Ford and Stan had just shut the door behind them when Jimmy ran up, pale as a ghost.

"We've got a problem," He said, jittering slightly. Stan's jaw clenched.

"What is it?" Ford asked.

"Rico. He's here, I think.”

2. "Well, that'll certainly give us an edge over Rico and Bill. We should see if Fiddleford's nearly done with his invention. We don't have a lot of time left."

Stan grimaced. "Geez Ford, make it sound more ominous, would ya?" He said with a huff, following after Ford. His brother was right, though, they probably didn't have a lot of time left. Stan could only hope their plan would be enough.

3. There was a loud 'thwip,' a shocked wheeze followed by gurgling, and then the thin man was falling to his knees, blood pouring from his mouth and dripping onto Stan's leg.

4. "Ford, I'm lightyears away from bein' calm, ok? I ain't gonna be calm until Rico and Bill are gone." He jumped again when a shadow figure moved in his peripheral vision. "Shit!"

5. Stan let out a bark of pain, rolling onto his side, the kick having aggravated the bruising left from both the fights with Bord and with Jimmy. He kicked out wildly, but the man caught his ankle and pulled, causing Stan to flip onto his back again.

This chapter took a lot of work but it was fun to write. Things are heating up and the end is near! Things are gonna get worse before they get better…