#what death leaves behind

[cxremedy]

i stay up thinking i will die

[thank you to @reformedpeasant for assistance on this one]

EDIT MAR. 4 2024: i no longer am in support of lovejoy/wilbur soot but am leaving this post up for the time being

[thatonecode]

when los campesinos! said “And when the third world war comes it will not be fought on race, we will line up here in two rows, betrayers versus betrayed” and “I assembled former ghosts at a seance. Said I missed ‘em you only have to say it once. What i truly fear, maybe selfishly, when i finally rest someone will summon me” and “We tread it carefully, we feel around in kid gloves. What death will leave behind, death will leave behind love. We will flower again i have surely seen it, we will flower again” and “Two wrists, two wrist watches. Tick-tick-tocking, second hand slightly out of time. A constant subtle reminder, one of us will be gone before bells of the other chime.” and “And I feel like I'm the host of a terrible game show and the guests on today's quiz are celebrities. Wont respond to any clues theyre just cracking jokes for views, but the answers to these questions mean everything.” and “I ask before I go, for you to drop a match down my throat, and smoke the bastard out, or burn him to a crisp. Cause i'm already carrion, been eaten from inside for too long” and “There was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats, in rows from transcept to chancel to nave. And when their anger had paused i turned and answered their calls with youre just audience I’m the applause” and “We burnt all the skin from the palms of my hands, with an old zippo lighter and deodorant can. I went to the palmist and asked her to read, no heart line no sun line no life line no need” and “If you were given the option of dying painlessly in peace at 45, but with a lover at your side, after a full and happy life. Is this something that would interest you? Would this interest you at all?” and “In a note I read: “if you should go blind and deaf I’ll cleanse and I’ll cook for you daily, I will take a dry ballpoint pen and trace on your chest all of the conversations that we now have in bed” i dont mean to be selfish, but i think i’d sooner just be dead" and “But if this changed your life did you have one before?” and “We learn over time, that tolerance is more appealing in theory than in practice. I identify my star sign by asking which is least compatible with yours” and “I cannot emphasize enough that my body, is a badly designed poorly put together vessel harbouring these diminishing so called vital organs, i hope my heart goes first I HOPE MY HEART GOES FIRST” and “On your request I compiled a list of my top five resolutions for this year (1!) I declined, cause Ive decided that I (2!) do not believe in the new year anymore (3!) and you must confess that at times like these hopefulness is tantamount hopelessness (4!) and i accept that its time for a change but not in places (5!) like this (5!) with people (5!) like these (5!)” and “And no more conversations about which breakfast club character you'd be. I’d be the one that dies. (no one dies) Well then what’s the point?” and “Doe eyes, you’re kidding yourself” and-

[tuuneoftheday]

Los Campesinos! - What Death Leaves Behind (2023 Remaster)

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Faith, Arthur.. Have faith"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 9: So that's where the turtle came from!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[aardvaark]

im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I've seen metas about Stede being a coward and I think that, when you're analyzing a show about how there's not just one way to be a man, that misses the point a bit?

like. Stede definitely thinks he's a coward and other people call him a coward. in the same way that Ed thinks he's a monster and other people call him a monster. these are labels that they both grapple with because they don't want them to be true but when people keep telling you over and over that you are [X], then you'll believe it eventually.

and the thing that gets me about Stede is that his cowardice isn't in the areas that his bullies tell him it is. his plan to steal a hostage back from Izzy is dumb, but it's also brave. the man keeps putting himself in physical danger, ALL OF THE TIME. he's naive, but he's also brave.

his decision to go be a pirate is brave, and Ed sees that. I'd even say it's one of the first things he recognizes and likes about Stede. because Ed also wants to change his whole life (but is struggling with actually doing it) and here comes this guy who just went and DID it. what the hell. better talk to that guy, see what he knows. (maybe fall in love with him)

Stede's only a coward when it comes to emotional stuff. there was probably a middle ground between "suffer in this marriage forever" and "run off to be a pirate" but leaving in the middle of the night was a way to escape hard conversations. there was also DEFINITELY a middle ground between "go to China with Ed and be eaten alive by guilt over abandoning his family" and "leave Ed without saying goodbye" but that would have meant talking to Ed about it and my man Stede does not talk about his feelings, wants, or needs. because emotional honesty is scary. (and when you're Stede, emotional honesty has always ended up with getting yelled at, shut down, or worse).

but it's frustrating, because people will say "oh Stede's a coward" and point to all the people saying he is one and Stede himself believing it, and ignore all the times he is shown to be very brave. or they'll say (and this one haunts me) "Stede wasn't bullied as a kid for being obviously queer, he was bullied for being a coward."

and idk dude but I think the point is that sometimes the things we believe about ourselves because we've been told them over and over are just... not true?

your childhood bully wasn't right about you, they were a fucking bully. your shit dad wasn't right about you, he was just shit. these people don't know you and they don't want to know you. their opinions are worse than useless. and Stede's season one arc is about him grappling with that and deciding he isn't a coward, he isn't inadequate, he isn't a waste of space. he is in fact worthy of love. that's the whole point!

[fluffypotatey]

To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?

Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.

What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?

the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail

but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it

and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)

"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no

or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻‍♀️

or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?

but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on

because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago

Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him

that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)

but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).

"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.

so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her

which, did not happen :)

and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))

2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl

man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.

anyway

what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)

and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"

but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked

that's the difference

[cent-scratchnsniff]

here together

[pizzazzgf]

the idea of rio and agatha having a messy, early on breakup that doesn’t have to do with later actual tragic events appeals so much to me. like the idea of agatha knowing that rio is a cosmic, powerful, terrifying entity and still stomping on her heart on purpose. and it just makes rio more attracted to her because she has never had something slip away from her grasp before

[thesoupisburning]

right so you guys ever think about the spectre telling the narrator that hes more similar to her than to a person?

what "her" was she referring to? the fragment we call the spectre? the way he can only be perceived, not perceive himself? the ghost of him, the ghost of her? all of her?

im just. thinking. i always think about spectre. she has. a lot to say that i think is overlooked in favor of more common favorite routes like moment of clarity and the tower, but shes one of my favorites, and shes one of the only ones who SEES the narrator, save for wraith, who is. also her. or nightmare. and she says that hes not really a person. like her.

of course, that makes sense, we think shes a ghost and dead, so she is. but him. is the echo a ghost in the classical sense? is that what she meant? or are there layers?

she says he's not really like a person. what is a person to her? is she comparing the narrator to the "shards of broken glass on the floor" are her interactions with us and the voices the only "person" she knows?

i love love love when this game separates the narrator from us and our voices. i love it so much i think about it daily. props to tower for "layer of grime" that fucks so hard.

i don't have a thesis im just. thinking. how much of the narrator is left. really.

[superhousecat-once-again]

Unfortunately now that I’ve finally seen it, I 100% cannot stand the Solavellan ending and like I knowww that’s in large part because I’ve been functioning on a different level with the ship the entire time but it’s just sooo forgiving of Solas and sooo tragic for Lavellan and does not include the most fascinating element of their dynamic to me which is ‘Solas starts to see the value of the current world because of how much Lavellan loves it and is so deeply part of it’ and in fact fully discards it because Lavellan just fucks off to fade prison for “true love”

[evilherehotel]

guys. guys the similarities. guys listen to me

[uncanny-tranny]

Some trans men might have a knee-jerk reaction and say that nonbinary people and trans women (as an identity) have privilege and societal leverage over them.

Some trans women might have a knee-jerk reaction and say that nonbinary people and trans men (as an identity) have privilege and societal leverage over them.

Some nonbinary people might have a knee-jerk reaction and say that binary trans men and trans women (as an identity) have privilege and societal leverage over them.

While additional privileges will impact how you might be treated as a trans person, what all this tends to miss is that if you are trans, society doesn't want you in the public eye. Your options are (to please transphobic society specifically) to either slink into the deepest, darkest recesses of society or die. There are no trans people who benefit from this framework. There is no trans identity you could have that will please transphobic society.

This doesn't mean that there aren't other privileges you can have as a trans person because there certainly are - this means that transness will not save you when it comes to transphobia. This means that we absolutely cannot give into the impulse to feel like our experience with transness is the only one that matters, or worse, that other trans people have privilege because they're trans in ways we are not.

[carefulfears]

thinking of scully's love letters and "that you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you" and "chance meeting your perfect other, your perfect opposite - your protector and endangeror" and "the forces against us are unrelenting, but so is my determination, to see you again...until then, i remain forever yours, dana" and pages upon pages upon pages of sprawling cursive and "i hope that in these terms you might know it and know me" and "mulder, i feel you close, though i know you are now pursuing your own path. for that i am grateful, more than i could ever express,” she was a repressed catholic scientist harboring this kind of gothic enduring desperate love, just bleeding out of her when given the chance