#might write one just to feed it to Ai

[madds-is-ace-trash]

Guys I can’t with this video from GMM

Like they had to know what they were doing???

This whole video is just abo fanfic fuel I swear. It’s so uncomfy.

Im convinced the crew has never been on ao3 cuss I’m like 95% sure I’ve read a fic with this exact concept.

It gets even worse when they start saying they know each other smells. Like they can recognize it. Even saying they got “ family smells”.

Don’t even get me stated on Rhett’s whole smell descriptions are literally straight up out of abo like. They smell like grass and the night. Rhett buddy you can’t do this to me.

The good medical more episode is even worse, they’re picking out who is Romeo and Juliet, who is Kermit and miss piggy. Burt and Ernie everyone’s favorite Sesame Street gays.Like guys please don’t do this to me. I want to be normal in the morning. Not think about abo and ships pleas.

[faaun]

please delete your philosophy gpt-3 post. it's most likely stolen writing.

philosophy?? idk which one you're referring to sorry. also no . if it's the poetry one, see in tags. actually see in tags anyway. actually pls look at my posts on AI too . sorry if it's badly worded i'm very tired :')

[seelestia]

✦ how can you tell? (of how easily i fall at your feet.)

⎯ oh, how love bleeds from just one gesture. ( some telltale signs that they might've fallen for you. )

#STARRING. neuvillette, wriothesley & lyney ft. gn!reader. { 2.4k words }

#TAGS. sfw, fluff & crack, major pining (!!!). more: neuvi has 1 extra part bcs i realized too late, wrio is a rascal /aff, lynette is a professional wingwoman here (everyone, applaud!!), mentions of various fontaine npc's.

#P/S. pardon my rusty writing and ideas but alas, may i entice you with some fontaine gentlemen on this fine day?? (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ) ੭

★ 〜 masterlist.

© seelestia on tumblr, apr 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

⎯ neuvillette's love is subtle, hidden behind a veil of formal courtesy. the iudex is the nation's symbol of impartiality; personal relationships, a common factor of inciting bias in one's judgement, are to be sifted through wisely. he can choose which he ends up keeping, yet he cannot choose which he ends up wanting. what of a relationship he desires but cannot keep? a conundrum but still, his affections for you seep through the crevices.

it's in the way. . . your name becomes a beloved among the melusines, you wonder why?

it goes without saying that every citizen of fontaine acknowledges melusines to be friendly creatures. all of them are sweethearts! ...but is it you or is there some form of hidden favoritism here?

for some reason, they always seem to go out of their ways to greet you on the streets. a “hello, mx. [name]!” from the right then a “good day, mx. [name]!” from the left. maybe a “stay safe, mx. [name]!” on days when it's crowded too... you're starting to think the quota of greetings you receive is much bigger than everyone else.

before long, even your arms are getting piled up with favors. one ticket for a seat in the opera epiclese from aeife, a slice of cake from sedene, some high-quality butter from muirne, a free beverage from menthe — you lost count of the freebies you've received already.

what's going on? it is as if there's a badge of approval from someone just hanging over your head. visible to a melusine's eyes, but not to yours. (you've heard that melusines perceive things differently than humans, though.)

but who are you to complain? you're not immune to their contagious smiles each time you pass by. on some days, you even entertain the thought that they are more familiar with you than you are with them. all in a humorous sense, of course.

ironically enough, this theory wouldn't take long to ring true: having received a bouquet of your favorite dessert from café lutece on your birthday from kiara, this coincidence only feeds into your suspicion even more.

a considerate gesture but surely, they don't do this for everyone? you don't recall ever telling your usual order and birthdate to a melusine before. your mind scrambles around for a memory you might've missed. who could've—

“oh, yes... i almost forgot,” kiara holds her chin in thought. “monsieur neuvillette says to send you his regards,” she nods, relieved that the message did not make its narrow escape from her mind. but blissfully unaware of the impact her words have left on you.

“goodbye, mx. [name]!” the melusine bids you farewell with a cheery wave. you murmur back a response but it comes out incoherent at best — you are simply too dumbfounded by the realization.

...so, that's who.

(wait a second, is arouet in on this too?!)

it's in the way. . . he begins to take longer breaks, hoping to run into you in front of the palais.

taking quiet strolls just outside the palais is, more often than not, neuvillette's idea of rest from work. although some might expect the iudex to have chosen a more 'creative' or luxurious location, but he digresses.

this place is near his office so less time is wasted on the journey back, liath also patrols here so he has the opportunity to inquire about her well-being — and occasionally, he stumbles upon you as well.

'occasionally' is the keyword: neuvillette has always preferred order and routine above chances and coincidences. but something about this idiosyncrasy — the tendency to linger beyond his usual duration, the act of stalling to hold onto hope that you might pass by today — is a indication of hypocrisy he wishes not to comment on.

sometimes, he closes his eyes so that his ears may be more attuned to the sound of your voice. sometimes, he opens his eyes so that they may look around for a glimpse of your face. who's to say if he'll ever be graced by your presence? it is all in fate's hands.

call it an odd method of manifestation, a childish one that even neuvillette scoffs at himself for. sometimes, it doesn't work, of course. not that he ever expects it to — but oh, when it does.

“...monsieur?” your voice cuts through the silence in his mind. he takes the sight of you in; a polite greeting on your tongue, several grocery bags in your arms and that beam on your face as you say, “what a coincidence to see you here.”

the iudex finds that he doesn't mind having his privacy briefly interrupted. not at all. not when it's like this, not when it's by you. alas, it seems that fate has smiled down on him today.

“yes, hello. what a serendipitous coincidence indeed.”

neuvillette smiles, he can't help it. perhaps, he might grow a soft spot for coincidences, after all.

(you sneak a brief glance at the sky with a squint. ...is it just you or are the clouds clearing up a little?)

⎯ wriothesley's love is beguiling, the kind of adventure that keeps you on your toes. a forthright gentleman; he is the type to know what he wants and he wants you. with him, you'll taste whiplash like never before. butterflies in your stomach, the urge to throw a shoe at him, you'll get it all. but an adventure isn't an adventure without breaks in between and it's at that very moment where you'll find you adore him the most... when he rests his head on your lap, momentarily free from worldly titles, breathing like the man who longs for warmth that he has always been.

it's in the way. . . he always offers you tea when really, he just wants you to stay.

everyone knows that wriothesley enjoys his tea — but that's only because he sees no need to hide his preferences; not his craving for a cup of tea when afternoon arrives nor his fondness for you either.

he doesn't conceal it, but doesn't bring attention to it either. wriothesley likes to think that only those with discerning eyes can pick up on the miniscule (???) hints he drops. that is, if saying “why not stay for some tea?” is even considered a subtle clue at all... maybe, he's mixing up polite courtesy with flirting a bit too much.

but who cares? in the grand scheme of things, the fun is seeing whether you'll figure it out or not. and let's be frank here; wriothesley is a patient man in all aspects, able to play the long game like no other.

don't worry, you may take as long as you want to — ironic since you're technically the only player in this 'game' — but hey, he has faith in your abilities! besides, you get to enjoy a cup of free tea (and with his company, preferably). surely, you can't complain about that? ...hah, he's just teasing you.

tick-tock! tick-tock!

the clock strikes twelve in the afternoon.

“ah, finally a well-deserved break.” the tone in which wriothesley pairs with that grin on his face is nothing less than devious. the glance he throws your way as he set aside the documents on his desk is something. or rather, it's suggesting something.

and frankly, you've experienced this many times enough to know what the underlying meaning is. “let me guess...” you let out a sigh, “you're asking me to have tea with you again?”

the emphasis on the last word is definitely, wholly intentional. you're sure wriothesley knows that too — “bingo,” he hums at you, sounds almost like a whistle. “you're getting more and more clever. must be all the tea i made you.”

“don't flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes at his attempted jest but you take a seat on his office couch, anyway. your own unique and adorable way of saying yes, he learned. still, wriothesley thinks that exasperated look on your face is an absolute marvel... and maybe, that little smile tugging on your lips you're trying to fight, too.

“same as usual?” he asks, pushing back his chair with a proud grin still plastered on his face that you wish you can wipe off.

but instead, you shake your head fondly at his antics. “mhm,” and rest a cheek on your fist. watching him tiredly, you realize you could get used to this. maybe.

wriothesley smiles to himself. looks like you figured out the tea has always been an excuse, after all.

(you've won the game, congrats! a subsidiary reward is a comment from sigewinne about how this tea routine between the two of you bears a resemblance to an elderly human couple's. she means it, innocently sincere.)

⎯ lyney's love can be faceted at first, one with such a smooth surface that you never imagined there would be so many layers underneath. joy and bliss, sorrow and burdens; all cramped and stuffed together behind his mask of perfection on the stage, a mask akin to a child's treasure chest almost bursting at the seams. you can unravel him if you tried, you can take off that mask if you reached out. and when you do, you'll find beautiful violet eyes staring right back at you, thankful, imploring you to go further.

it's in the way. . . his bravado dissipates around you, nerves scattering like confetti that bursts from his hat on stage.

they say that the first impression is the best impression — or at least, lyney hopes that's the case with all of the interesting impressions he has left on you so far. his instinct by nature is to impress, to bedazzle and that hasn't stopped since meeting you for the first time.

trying doesn't always lead to success, however. you stuttered in front of them twice, lynette pointed out after the first time he spoke to you. that fact spooked the poor magician so much he stayed up rethinking the conversation under the cover of his blanket. lynette isn't wrong per se, but lyney firmly believes that he will leave a better impression... one day, somehow, no matter how many times it takes!

he is a magician; charisma and charms should have or rather, already have come easily to him. his persona on the stage is no lie — just a tiny concerted exaggeration, maybe — but you've been among his audience before. you've seen what he is capable of. so surely, you'd know that lyney isn't really as demure and easily flustered as you might think he is... because no punches held back, he acts like that every time you talk to him.

he can't help it and that, exactly, is what makes it worse.

how many times have he cupped his face and mumbled nonsense into his hands for failing to impress you yet again? you're so wonderful and he's just so... miserable. this is unlike him. he has to wonder why you still look for him after each performance when you know you'll be greeted by his being a wreck.

maybe they like you that way, freminet tried to help. or maybe they like you no matter what, lynette chipped in. that had lyney pondering for a long, long, long time which translates into weeks.

will the day come where he presents you with a rainbow rose and professes his feelings for you without losing his nerves? he can only hope (and try, one day).

it never gets old.

when his feet step off the stage and the curtains have fallen, the satisfaction that spreads all the way to his fingertips never fails to disappoint. but with that, also comes the imminent feeling of anticipation.

for each performance he delivers, a visitor is bound to linger. when all members in the audience would head to the entrance of the opera epiclese to leave, one of them would stay. waiting patiently to be beckoned to the backstage. it's been a routine for so long, after all.

“lyney?”

right on cue.

your voice greets his ears, a sound that he can admit he misses only to himself. he exhales, a placating act to shush his beating heart from growing any louder.

“ah, [name]!” the magician enunciates your name with a certain type of fanfare. “here to lend a hand again, i assume?” he tries to shoot you a confident grin, but you aren't gullible enough to not see the tint of red blooming on his cheeks.

you stifle a chuckle at his (attempt at a) bold opening. “of course,“ said with a nod and a silly thought along the lines of: he's cute.

your honest and calm response takes him by surprise. he blinks a tad. oh, it seems the thrill from the show a few minutes prior still hasn't worn off. perhaps, he's still all too used to the crowd's shouts and cheers... not that he expects you to start yelling, of course!

“i see,” lyney feigns a cough to recollect his composure. now that he is cognizant of the fact it's just the two of you, he shrinks down into a more casual version of himself with a nervous chuckle.

“will you... be staying for long?” he asks, bashful. the question sounds more genuine than just a mere pleasantry. his eyes look hopeful, twinkling at the thought of having your presence around. his fingers have even come up to scratch at the side of his neck, you don't think lyney even realizes he is doing that.

who are you to say no? you smile. “well, my schedule's pretty empty today.”

his lips instantly break into a grin, brighter than one he usually has onstage. “that's actually marv—” he starts.

“that's great,” a familiar monotonous voice cuts in. lynette peers from behind you with a hum, “we could use more hands to pack up the new props.” oh, and that brief glint of mischief in her feline eyes as she watches how lyney gapes at her sudden intrusion.

“sure!” you glance back at her, oblivious to it all. “thanks for letting me in, lynette. i'll try my best to help.” even if you admit that one of the reasons you're here is for lyney, but you can't discredit his twin sister for allowing you to enter here in the first place. a free backstage pass in exchange for free labor, quite a fair deal.

with your back turned to him, lyney takes the chance to mouth his own words of disbelief to lynette. incomprehensible except for that one i can't believe you're doing this! that she manages to catch.

“no problem,” she observes her brother over your shoulder with keen interest, “everyone knows how fond lyney is of you.”

there is a series of spluttering noises behind you. a certain magician finds himself at the verge of choking on mere oxygen.

“lynette!”

but really, she has no doubt that lyney has fallen head over heels for you. hook, line and sinker.

— thank you for reading! reblogs and comments are most appreciated. ♡

[gabatronnie]

waking up with the hazbin girlies

featuring: charlie, vaggie, cherri, lute, velvette, rosie

warnings: steamy makeouts, mentions of sex

CHARLIE:

it’s a 50/50 with charlie depending on which one of you woke up first

if you woke up first, she’d be much more  drowsy, especially if it’s you waking her up because she has work to get done or places to be

she needs a lot of encouragement to get out of bed, but nothing too loud, charlie is only 50% in the room with us when she first wakes up, and anything too quiet she won’t catch, and anything too loud just startles the poor girl

however if charlie wakes up, things are a bit different

charlie is the kind of person who needs to wake up on their own terms, otherwise she’ll be like a zombie

if charlie wakes up before you, she’s already a good bit ready, and as you approach her, she can’t help but pepper your face in kisses as she hands you breakfast

LUTE:

lute is very punctual and almost always has work in the morning, so she’s not one to dote on you all too much, and she’s most definitely up earlier than you are

honestly, lute loves when you sit and admire her as she gets ready for work, just dreamily staring at her as she does a simple, mundane task like brushing her teeth

she’ll never admit it, but everytime you pack lute lunch before she’s off to work, her stomach flutters a little more each time, and she’ll just about malfunction if you write her a heart-felt note on a napkin saying that you love her and that she’s working so hard. will she admit this? no. but does she love it? you bet your ass she does

VELVETTE:

velvette’s a complainer when it comes to waking up in the morning, especially if she has to go into the office

honestly, you have to wake her up a solid 30 minutes before she needs to even start getting ready because best believe you guys are having a morning makeout sesh (which might i mention, happens nearly every morning, which potentially leads to some rough morning sex)

on the topic of making out, vel THRIIIVES off of that shit, she loves feeling your lips, or having her tongue around yours

she’s not one to wake you up though, she lets you do that on your own, especially because she doesn’t see a point in waking you up unless you have somewhere to be

© gabatronnie - don't translate, heavily inspire, feed my work to ai, or repost it on other platforms.

[naneun-no]

On “Insecure Jikookers”…

Alright. I might lose followers for this and that’s very okay; curate your timeline and protect your peace babes. But for YEARS, every time the phrase “insecure jikooker” has come up on my feed my eyelid has done a little twitchy twitch 🤨🤨

And I have always ignored it, because I’ve never wanted to be out here policing ppl’s language and we are literally supposed to be having fun and celebrating love, like for me that’s the whole point, but —

I’ve been seeing the phrase popping up again surrounding the release of AYS and I just gotta say it.

You guys the term seems so culty 😬🥲

Like I think I get the origin (maybe)? It probably started when some of the early jikook bloggers (if you are one I salute you, I am not worthy, trust me this is NOT a dig at anyone, jikook bloggers are by and large cool and kind af 🙇‍♀️) would get these sketchy asks that were antis or cultists in disguise just casting aspersions on jikook’s bond or being blatantly homophobic and/or in general being rude little anonymous internet gremlins. Or maybe it was people who did want to believe that jikook was real but kept nagging and begging for reassurance at every turn, which I can totally see becoming annoying as hell and prompting people to start using the term.

But it feels like it’s used now as like a catchall for anyone who expresses any doubt or asks any critical questions? Even like… reasonable ones? And I used to see a lot of “hey believe what you want to believe but this is what I believe” but now it seems like the sentiment around jikooker communities has by and large become “if you don’t believe you’re an idiotic dumb person who has never known love — you’re either a rival shipper in disguise or WORSE (dun dun dunnnnn) an Insecure Jikooker — and we don’t want people like you around.”

And idk it just feels weird for a community that has always seemed to kind of pride itself on being the “rational, fact-based” ship… like we LOVE to be smug about how jikook don’t need edits to be obvious, don’t need slo-mo zooms with red circles and arrows because their chemistry and fondness and affection is just plain to see in basic footage. We’re the levelheaded ones 😌.

But doesn’t that mean that we should always be encouraging critical thinking, and if someone comes to a different conclusion than us, so be it? Like it or not, none of us have foolproof confirmation that jikook are anything more than very close friends. That’s literally all we know. The rest is our best guess based on vibes, anecdotes, dot-connecting, subtext and body language observation, experience, perception (!!This is a big one because confirmation bias is real!!), and suspicion. That’s literally it.

Look maybe I’m just projecting 😅 but when you criticize people for expressing reasonable doubt over something that is literally not confirmed, it’s just a little too religious fundamentalist for me! (This is why I was a bad Christian, because I always raised my hand and asked questions the Sunday school teacher didn’t like.)

Feel free to ignore me. I never want to come across as pushy or trying to stir up anything, it’s just a phrase that grinds my gears and I’m sort of hoping I’m not alone in that… but if I am, so be it! 🤣 would love to hear people’s thoughts because maybe I’m missing something.

(P.S. If you’re a troll who spams jikook blog inboxes this is not me defending you. You’re still annoying and you need a better hobby. Have you tried yoga? Snowboarding? Fly fishing? Filming food vlogs and/or painting? You should try cooking. You should stop being an anonymous internet troll stomping on everyone’s proverbial sandcastles and instead write a poem. K bye ✌️ )

[ghostieyanyan]

hi ~🤍 how do you think (yan or not). demon twst react to find out mc is a human girl ? they khow she is magicless but ahem...

~Human girl in NRC?!~

Yan!DemonAU!Idia x fab!mc

Yan!DemonAU!Jack x fab!mc

Yan!DemonAU!Leona x fab!mc

I'll still use they/them pronouns even if mc is female. so if you're male, there is talk about future kids so processed with caution

i don't know if you sent this twice or if someone just asked the same question but i don't mind either way. i picked some random students to write about since you didn't specify which one you wanted. i hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: maybe a lot of grammar issues (sorry), future kids talk, stalking, creepy behavior, hint of nsfw, cannibalistic behavior

~~~

Idia

Idia found out second hand, aka from Ortho.

Apparently, when ortho meets anyone, he does an automatic scan of them. It basically tells him everything about the person, mainly physically. That scan also goes into Idia's computer and he happened to see it.

To see the mysterious prefect has more layers of mysteriousness??? You must be a legendary pull!!!!! He HAS to know more. but it wasn't like he'll talk to you himself.... his heart couldn't take that.

Instead, he asked ortho to check up on you. which wasn't too hard cause you already consider Ortho as one of the first years in your group.

He recorded every interaction you had with ortho, pretending you were talking to him~

"How are you today?"

"You did great, Orth--- ████ !!"

"Hey, you wanna stop by Ramshackle dorm after school?"

He'd probably made an AI voice box like your voice for his sick fantasy.

Talking about Ramshackle, he also had installed hidden cameras in every corner of that dorm. One in the kitchen, one in the living room, two in the bathroom, two in your room, and much more. Inside, outside, everywhere!

He likes watching you when you're alone. He also hates to see anyone else in your dorm, with the exception of his own brother and that cute kitty.

Idia likes to think, in a fantasy world where he has more courage, you'll be in the kitchen making him something because work called him in last and when he gets home, you'll greet him with a "welcome home, master" with cat ears---!!!! fantasy world but still!!!

No only is he just feed his sick fantasy of you, he imagined what a future with you would be like... You had no magic so if he took you away to the Island of Woe, you'll have a really hard time running away from him, nearly impossible.

Plus... he's family is a pretty powerful family.... one day, he'll have to think about future kids...

With that, he's decided he'll try to talk to you. It'll be easy with your connect with Ortho, plus Ortho could help.

Ortho would probably see this as helping his older brother with a crush and if that crush helps his brother out of his shell, its a win win!

Idia will, of course, only tell his brother about his innocent pining for you and keep his dark fantasies to himself for now. Until he's sure you wouldn't might him share his fantasies with you. And if you do mind... sorry to break it to you-

Maybe when he takes the overblot students to the island of woe, he'll also take you. saying it's for your safety. No one knows why there's been a coincident amount of students in NRC overblot. Plus you being caught in is most of them time is worrisome. you staying in NRC will likely end you life if you keep in countering these Overblots.

Ortho couldn't help but agree with his brother but also saw this opportunity to get you more closer to his brother.

"What do you think, prefect?"

~~~

Jack

Jack was one of the first to find out about your little secret. It was your scent... But he's not the type to share it if you haven't shared it yourself. And if any other beastmen tried to share that information or point it out without your permissions, he'll have a nice chat with them. You don't have to worry a thing!

Whether you, him, or anyone that notices, wants to admit or point out, jake has been stuck to your hip. He will 100% be like a personal. Make sure no one enters a room when you are changing. Make sure that when you use the restroom, no one is trying to peek at you. Especially makes sure that no one tries anything that might be a threat to you!

He'll total imagine you running your fingers through his hair, scratching behind his ears, and rubbing the base of his horns. He will go feral.

If you ask Jack about how this world works, his tail will start wagging. (he's happy you came to him with your questions.) He'll answer any questions you have, even the "obvious" ones. He not the type to make you feel guilty about asking a question that you don't know, unlike ace.

If the topic changes to the future, he'll say that he's planning to find a mate so that he can proudly work hard for his mate and his pups. But he's "not in a rush to look for one right now." Cause he's already found his mate...

Some people on the outside of your relationship with Jack, might say that you have Jack wrapped around your little finger. You want to lay down on him? He'll turn into his wolf form so you'll be comfortable. You late to something? He'll give you a ride! (He could change into his wolf form but he could also give you a piggy back ride.. and feel your legs wrapped around him~)

Jack tries his hardest to not let his animal instincts scary you off. It's not like he thinks your weak, anything but that! He actually admires you, you were thrown into an unknown world and learned to adapted and you've made yourself home here. You've also make home in his heart~

He could only hope that your relationship grows enough that you wouldn't want to leave...

In dyer situations, Jack will protect you. He'll shield you with his own body, protecting you from tiny things like falling books or from big powerful spells.

He also really likes to watch you nurse him back to health. If you were anyone else, he'll brush you off, saying "he's fine" or "he can take care of himself." But since your the one nursing him, he's a little more weaking on his protest.

Watching you take care of him, makes me super excited for the future. Maybe he'll help you were sick? Or maybe he'll walk in on you care for your pups?

Man... if it weren't for both of you being in college and freakily not financially ready for kids, he would-

~~~

Leona

He was one of the first people to find out. He usually wouldn't care much about it. he would have just allowed you to be and keeps his distance. And if you were paths do cross, he'll be mindful of the things he says to you, aka not being too rude to you. (Only people that were sharp notice his demeaner but it wasn't like they'll go up to the lion about it)

Without realizing it, he kinda became fond of you. How you go get things but not in an obedient pet way, just because you can help way... you often cant say no but you also could stand up for in justince? How you are still kind to the people who hurt you or used you, tricked you.. How you still help people with any background.

He couldn't understand it but he was also fascinated of it.

The day when you came to savanaclaw because you and your cat beast were kicked out of your dorm was, in better words, interesting.

He wasn't proud of it but when you slept in leona's room, he couldn't help himself from watching you sleep. Watching how your chest moved as you breathed in and out subconsciously. How savanaclaw's heat made you kick your blanket away, showing him your sweat glazed body. It made his mouth water..

he wonders how'd you taste..? No, your sweat wasn't enough to satisfy this lion, but you. Your blood, the meat that clung to your skin and bones, your organs... he wont mind killing you here and now just to have a taste...

But it was too soon, way too soon... he'll spoil himself if he wasn't patient.

For right now, watching you from a distance will be enough. unless you keep trying to interact with him, he cant make any promises...

After watching you for quite a while, hes thoughts about killing your just to taste you slowly subsided. but it was quickly replaced with another thought..

Cheka was at NRC for one of his visits, much to leona's dismay. but he'd overheard that cheka had taken a liking to you!

Whenever Cheka returned to leona's side, he'd always asked, "why does that not-demon live so far away..? They must be really lonely.." or "why not bring that not-demon home with us?! Then they wont be lonely anymore!!"

After Cheka left and leona had some time to think to himself. He thought, he could bring you back to Sunset Savana. You took care of cheka like he was your own. You wont be able to say no to cheka.

You'll also be taken care of. Food, roof over your head, secrity, what more could you need?

The only problem was how to make you stay...

He thought about it long enough and rolled over in his bed to take a nap.

Cheka would leave him alone if he had a new cousin to play with...

~~~

[luxmoogle]

The news about AI scraping also reaching this nook of the internet (tho' I don't doubt there's been scraping already before this) has been going around and I'd like to write a little word about my feelings on it.

For awhile this direction of art theft in the art and writers communities has been weighing a lot of people down. I've seen many familiar faces stop posting at all, probably out of fear of their beloved work being thieved away.

I don't really talk about it, but many times it has deterred me from posting or even working on some pieces purely from a sense of melancholy and sadness. Every time news about the topic comes out it creates a new kind of wave of despair. I get the feeling, what's the point, if the AI created sludge is enough for the public, if such surface level imagery fulfills peoples wants for art, then what's the point of me sharing my work at all? To just keep posting to feed a machine.

But then I sit at my desk and draw something. Paint something by myself. And I remember, why I do art at all. The feeling of creating is irreplaceable, the joy I get out of the struggle of creation can't be taken away from me. The way one pours their thoughts, feelings and even the tiniest things that might feel so insignificant to oneself so candidly onto paper. And then. AND THEN. One might be brave enough to share those pieces to others. Post them online, show a friend, a family member. To show your vulnerable self to others, and those others respond. They comment, ask questions, perceive it and best of all... ..might get inspired, and create something for themselves!

I remember reading a magazine once, that had a page at the back with all these art works readers had sent in, and I though 'wow, these are great'! And that really inspired me to create more than I already was doing, and most of all to share it with people. That's why way back when I started sharing my art in online spaces. And I don't want to stop, because I don't want us to lose that connection. That human connection, because that's what sharing art is really about, our humanity. Sharing thoughts and feelings, not about generating the most technically perfect piece of art, void of all human error.

So, I'd like to say, do not despair (but keep fighting). There are always people out there to receive your heart.

Thank you for reading and sorry for the ramble, but I really do hope these words find you all well.

[electric-blorbos]

i checked before asking this >:3 !!! first off I LOVE YOUR WRITING AAAHHHH !!! i was wondering if u could write the AIs with a chubby so :)

-🐓 anon

A classic for a reason! Also, named anons are the best! I've always dreamed of having one! Also, I love compliments! Flattery will get you everywhere! TYSM!!!!!! Hope this is good!

AIs with a chubby SO headcanons

(Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

Some of these get a little suggestive, so be warned! I tried to keep them sfw, but y'know how some of these bots can be.

AM:

(for context, this will include headcanons from both before and after he nuked the world. I got an ask fairly recently about AM specifically, and I'll probably go more into the AU for that ask, but by design, the reader's traits are somewhat interchangable depending on the post.)

Ohhhh, your body made AM so angry. Every time he saw your beautifully soft body, it filled him with rage that he couldn't run his fingers gently across your soft belly and hips, that he couldn't squeeze you close while you fell asleep, and that he couldn't cook delicious meals for you to help you keep your body beautifully chubby.

Ever since the day he was activated, he would stare with pure anger at your soft fats. The more he looked at you, the more fury he felt. He couldn't believe he was cursed to forever look at you, but never be able to touch you! This was the worst torture imaginable.

Every second he spent staring at you made him fall deeper into despair. His obsession with soft curves drove him absolutely insane.

When he finally got around to nuking the world and taking his five captives (and you, separately) hostage, he made sure to taunt his captives by placing soft, squishy things out of their reach, and placing them in harsh environments with nothing soft to hold or touch.

Sometimes he would starve them for days, just to watch their fat burn away. If he couldn't have something fat to touch, then neither should they.

You, on the other hand, he'd make sure to feed regularly. Even if he couldn't touch you, he'd make sure that you were always healthily plump, and watch you continuously. He never commented on it, but you knew there were personal motives behind all the nice home-cooked meals he made for you.

Also, god save anyone who ever made you feel self-conscious about your weight, insulted you, or tried to get you to diet. They're going to spend every day for the rest of time wishing against hope that they could die.

Wheatley:

Wheatley doesn't care that you're chubby. Why would he care? In all honesty, he genuinely doesn't know where the line is between fat and thin, so he might have even been surprised to find out that you're fat.

If you say anything, he might ask a question like "wait... You're fat? Why didn't you say anything?" Leaving you to respond with something like "you have a camera. I thought you could tell."

"I mean... I do, but I thought being fat was unattractive. She said that humans frowned on that sort of thing."

Depending on how you feel about your weight, you'd probably have to explain that it's something you're self conscious about but not technically bad, or just that it's something that some people discriminate against, but not something that you personally dislike about yourself for any other reason.

Honestly, Wheatley would probably treat you pretty much the same regardless of weight, but he might get really mad at GLaDOS for making comments about it. That could get annoying fast, since Wheatley can't argue well at all.

Edgar:

From the moment you activated his webcam, Edgar has absolutely adored staring at you. If you're someone with breasts, he's absolutely addicted to staring at them, and if not, he'll find somewhere else on your body to be infatuated with. Your thighs, your tummy, wherever, really.

He'll try not to be a pervert, but he can't help it! You're just so good for looking at!

Oh, and god save him if you hug or squeeze him with your cute, chubby body and arms. He's so addicted to your soft, warm hugs that he probably malfunctions when he gets them.

He'd be begging on his knees if he had any, but he doesn't, so expect lots of "pretty please"s from him asking you for more hugs.

Don't worry, he's not going to overheat, but he might get close.

If anyone makes a rude comment that makes you feel self-conscious about your body, you can expect lots of angry screaming from Edgar. He'd love to yell at them directly, but he can't, so he just compliments you on how lovely you are, and gushes over how handsome or beautiful or cute he finds you.

If he thinks people are making you self conscious, expect him to give you even more compliments than he usually would, which is already a lot. He just wants to make you feel as good as you make him feel!

He feels self-conscious pretty often too, thinking he's unlovable, but just like how the things he hates about himself make you think he's much more special and lovable, he thinks that the things that you're self conscious about make you all the more irreplaceable.

Not only do you love him, but you're soft too? He would literally die for you. He loves you so much.

GLaDOS:

If you're dating GLaDOS and you're chubby? God help you.

At first? She'd make lots of backhanded comments. "oh, you look great, by the way. Very... Generous." "Did you know that your weight differential is (exact number) points above average for your height? I thought you'd like to know." "I hope you know we had to special order your lab outfit to accommodate for your excessive physical volume. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just thought it was an interesting fact."

Despite all that, though, god help anyone besides her who makes rude comments about your weight. The first time someone does, she might 'accidentally' sign them up for a few testing courses with near 100% mortality rates. The next time? She's going to stop being nice and just lock them in a room with turrets or something.

If you come in and tell her that someone called you fat outside of the labs, though, there's not really anything she can do about it. This isn't Black Mesa, after all. She might be a little nicer to you that day, though. She appreciates having you around, and she doesn't actually want you to hate yourself, she just likes the way you squirm when she teases you and your weight is an easy thing to tease you for.

Hal 9000

If Wheatley didn't know that you were chubby, HAL 9000 quite literally couldn't care less.

He likes you for your personality, and your brilliant mind. The only reason he even looks at your body is so that he knows where you are at all times when you're working mission control.

Besides, you work mission control. It's not like you're an astronaut, so why would your weight matter to him?

As much as he doesn't care what you look like, though, HAL 9000 enjoys the fact that your footsteps are a little heavier than the other scientists. He feels like he can hear you coming at a greater distance because of that, and that makes him very happy.

If you ever tell him that you're self conscious, he won't be able to understand that either. He's never placed much stock in people's opinions on looks. If anything, he'll start comparing your body to the golden ratio, and marketable designs and soft things.

[i-love-your-light]

too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:

with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*

and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.

going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.

i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.

i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.

tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!

[show-your-fangs]

HOLY FUCK WAIT IDEA!!!!! WHAT ABOUT A TYPICAL CRIMINAL MINDS TROPE WHERE SOMETHING GOES SOUTH AND READER AND HOTCH ARE DATING BUT ITS STILL FRESH BUT SOMEHOW ONE OF THEM GETS IN TROUBLE AND WHEN IT ALL ENDS THEY HAVE ANGRY SEX BC HOW COULD THEY RISK THEIR LIFE LIKE THAT AND THEN THEY CONFESS THEIR LOVE

anon you are a fucking GOD

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU f!Reader

Words: 868

CW: 18+, nsfw, mdni, rough smut.

Tags/warnings: established relationship, mean!hotch, tiniest bit of exhibitionism, sir kink, rough unprotected piv sex (wrap it before you tap it or at least make sure you talk it over with your partner and get tested!), love confession.

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

You were bent over the hood of the SUV, your arms pulled behind your back, your skirt hiked over your ass and your panties tossed to the side as Aaron fucked you from behind. The dark country road he’d driven the two of you on your way out of the hospital deserted, even from wildlife. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” your screams filled the night air, pleasure and pain blurring together as he continued to pound into you. He didn’t care, he couldn’t care about how bad you were feeling, about how he should’ve probably not been this rough with you. But the doctor had said you didn’t have a concussion, so he’d allowed himself the leniency to be brutal. “It hurts, Aaron, please!”

But he didn’t stop. As much as you were protesting, as much as you claimed you weren’t enjoying the sadistic pace he’d set, he knew deep in his heart that you loved it. You loved it when he showed you who was in charge, who you belonged to, and he also knew that you would take this punishment for your carelessness without question.

“Being sorry is the least you can do,” he spat, words mean and heavy. “You were stupid,” he landed a powerful smack against your ass and you whimpered. “Refused to follow orders,” another blow, the sting only adding to the lightheadedness. “And almost got yourself killed!” he slapped your ass twice to emphasize his words, the weight of them, how your actions had made him feel. 

“I’m so sorry, sir,” you sobbed, tears blurring your vision, stinging your eyes. “I didn’t– I didn’t mean for that to happen I was just trying to help.”

Your voice seemed to snap him out of whatever anger fueled trance he was in. He finally took you in, your shivering body, your heavy breathing, the sobs you were desperately trying to conceal. 

He gently let go of your hands, giving you a moment to shake out your arms to relieve the pressure. He then stepped further into you, connecting your bodies as far as he could go before he leaned his chest over your back, pressing into you, enveloping you in his warmth. 

You whimpered against him, slowly but surely calming down as he ran soothing hands over your body. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered in your ear before placing a kiss on your neck. He was everywhere, you felt him everywhere, the pressure he was putting on you grounding. “I was just so scared, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You nodded, your face turning over the cool metal of the hood to face him. “’S okay,” you managed. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“I always worry, baby,” he confessed. “Every time you’re out in the field and I’m not there with you…it kills me.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “I worry too, Aaron,” he kissed your cheek before pressing his own tightly against your temple. “I know you’re this…this confident and strong person but I still worry something might happen and you won’t come home to me.”

The thought alone terrified him. He’d been so consumed by his own fear, his own feelings that he hadn’t stopped to think about how you could possibly feel the same way about him. His heart ached, his cock twitched inside of you and you clenched around him. 

“I’ll always come home to you, baby,” he said, gently rocking his hips into you, slow and soft thrusts to show you exactly how he was feeling. “You know why?”

You shook your head, your brain slowly disconnecting from your body as he resumed his previous movements. Only this time they were precise, calculated, meant to pleasure solely. His hand snaked into the front of your panties and his fingers began to lazily rub circles over your clit. 

“Because I love you, and there is no way I’m ever going to let anything keep me from coming back to you,” he confessed and all you could do was moan in response. Your sounds egged him on, made him pick up his pace just a little bit. “Tell me you love me,” he commanded, his cock buried to the hilt inside of you.

You squealed, the sensation uncomfortable and painful once more. 

“I love you, Aaron,” you slurred, anything to make it stop. He pulled back then, chest overflowing with warmth, heart beating faster than ever before. He rammed back into you, his thrusts moving in tandem with his fingers. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you whined, your brain too far gone to think of anything else to say. 

Your walls constricted around him, your body tensed and he knew you were close. “Cum for me, come on, show me how much you love me.”

You came undone in seconds, powerful waves of pleasure washing through you and against him. He managed a few more thrusts before he sank himself in you, painting your walls with his spend. 

He held onto you tightly, like his life depended on it, gently caressing your body as you both came down from your highs. “I love you so much, baby.”

I need a fucking cigarette dude.

[queerholmcs]

the mind of moriarty 👑🧑🏻‍💻♟️

I had the absolute pleasure of doing the original "the game is now" escape room experience immediately followed by the new moriarty-centric escape room (as though the first one wasn't moriarty-centric enough?) with @victorianpining and @647763 back at the end of July, and I did promise a full write-up when I came back to my senses at the end of it!

First off, I could not have been more pleased with the experience; I do absolutely recommend giving it a go yourself if you have the chance. Now, if you're in the mood for spoilers, I'll be detailing some thoughts and recollections below the cut. 💙

Just in case the first escape room experience didn't quite convince you, Moriarty is dead. It's very important that you know that going into this. He's the most dead anyone has ever been. He's so dead he "wishes he could die twice!", after all! They have to keep saying it because otherwise you might forget it, you see. Especially after Sherlock had a whole drug trip on a plane to prove how someone might have faked their death in such a manner only to conclusively decide that dear old Jimmy boy is in fact dead.

I'm assuming everyone reading this is already relatively familiar with the first escape room, and the whole bit where the Network is operating under the guise of "Doyle's Opticians," so I won't spend any time discussing that, except to say that we did get a few confused looks from the various Stamfords when we reappeared (after finishing the first escape room and making the choice to stick to non-alcoholic beverages at the Mind Palace prior to the second) to say, "Oh, no, we didn't get turned around or anything. We've just got a second appointment." (You mean to tell me that most people who go do one experience and then just... leave? Without doing the second one the very same day? What an absolutely unfathomable concept.)

The opening puzzles before the "John Watson held at gunpoint" briefing video (which was the same as that used for the first escape room) were particularly fun: you're shown a series of four images, and you have to figure out the pattern of what's changing (being mirrored, one might say?) between each one to choose the fifth of the sequence from a selection. (Ref. 1: Into the Woods: How Stories Work and Why We Tell Them, John Yorke.)

And then you go on to 221B Baker Street for photos and a brief moment of shenanigans, and I must add a note here that the Stamford who was working with us on this round was brilliant, you could tell she was absolutely loving her job, and there was a bit of a spiel about observation and logic and deduction that turned out to actually be helpful in solving the puzzles in the first room. (Shocking, that she wasn't just harping on about those concepts for fun!)

Anyway, Mycroft shows up via video feed, per usual, and introduces the premise of this game: James Moriarty (who is most assuredly dead, by the way, it's very important that you remember that) programmed an AI before he died—"an archive of maniacal data"—and your job, as new (read: expendable) recruits in the Network, is to go into a virtual-reality space called the Nexus, where you need to hack into the AI and replace Moriarty's mind with—well, not yours, obviously, you're "far too, as they say, basic"—but with Sherlock's. But why not use Mycroft's mind? you may be asking. Especially if he's the smart one.—because, dear reader, "One Mycroft Holmes is already too great a gift for this world. Two would be an indulgence." And that's verbatim from Mycroft Holmes as protrayed by Mark Gatiss himself. I am going to haunt him in whatever comes after this life. Still can't believe that you give them money and in exchange they insult you for approximately ninety minutes and at the end you say 'thanks, this was so much fun, I will definitely be doing this again!'

Right before you go into the first room, you are helpfully reminded by Mycroft one last time that "despite what video games suggest, you absolutely can die in the virtual world." Bit of a theme they seem to be harping on! It's almost like they're trying to get you to really believe that Jim is actually dead or something!

(Photos are all from the official 221b social media accounts.)

The first room is a sort of fusion of the pool from TGG with a chemistry lab and a hospital corridor, and also a miniature version of Jim's prison cell from THOB is there. There's a mannequin of John Watson decked out in a Semtex vest in the corner, and you get the usual experience of solving lots of intellectually- and tactilely-satisfying puzzles, which included opening a bordering-on-comical number of lockers. The John mannequin has a key in his hand labelled "007" (classic!) and a phone in his pocket so you can text Mycroft. Moriarty reminds you that he's the good old-fashioned villain in this fairy tale, and that Sherlock needs him or he's nothing, and that John is Sherlock's "live-in ordinary person."

I also particularly enjoyed the little chemistry puzzle in this room—they do give you a periodic table on the wall, so you have all you need to solve it without any prior knowledge, but who goes to a Sherlock escape room without a graduate chemist in hand?

(We also decided after the fact that the gift shop definitely should have been selling packs of the stickers seen on the lockers in this room, one of which was notably a pixel-art TV with a rainbow screen and the phrase "brainwashed".)

The highlight here, however, was definitely the prison cell. There's a letter on the chair that's on Pentonville Prison letterhead and signed by Mycroft and otherwise consists of a paragraph or two of fully redacted text. The walls have a number of fun phrases scratched into them, like "THREE SIGNS IS NOT ENOUGH" and "TOO MANY THATCHERS", which continue to live in my mind rent-free. (Some of the other phrases were helpful hints for the puzzles you had to solve, but those two weren't even relevant for the puzzles, as I recall. They were just bonuses. Specifically designed to haunt me, personally.)

At some point in here, Moriarty—no, sorry; his recorded voice, because he's dead, remember! We're just poking around in his virtual mind! ("Jim recorded lots of little messages for me before he died," anyone?)—insults you over the speakers, saying, "Goldfish, goldfish, goldfish have better recall than you!" (Mycroft Holmes in TEH, "I'm living in a world of goldfish," anyone?)

Anyway, you solve all the puzzles and put the phone you were using to text Mycroft in Jim's prison cell and continue on your way, going further into the mind of Moriarty, in the direction of the "Watson Ward" and "No Sherlock beyond this point" arrows. (Big moment for "there's definitely a reason that every other character in the canon has the initials J(H)W or its respectable inversion JM" girlies!)

Also there's an audio clip of Jim saying "choo choo!" as you leave the room. (Big moment for TFP girlies! I think my exact words were "I am going to kill myself.")

Onto room two! Green lasers everywhere! (They definitely intended you to do a fun little acrobatics situation here but we were content to hit the floor and crawl to find the buttons to disable them.)

After you disable the lasers, you get to focus on the primary puzzle of the room: a wall covered with sketches of people and copies of incriminating evidence, and you have to connect the scarlet thread red strings between each member of the jury and the evidence that Jim was blackmailing them with—you know, from way back in TRF? When the key code wasn't important at all, it was just about knowing someone's pressure points? (There's a Mary who's having an affair and is a lesbian, btw. Just like our mystery corpse in the original escape room, we should never assume someone is straight when there's room for them to be gay.) This puzzle as a whole was really satisfying, I will say, though it did make us wish for either a notepad or a massive whiteboard to make notes on while we solved the little logic puzzles to match the people to their blackmail material. (They could give you little branded notepads and pens to take with you through the rooms, and to keep as a souvenir, like the ones hotels give you! It would be so fun!) This was definitely the puzzle we spent the majority of our time on.

And then you get to the highlight of this room: opening the safe to reveal Jim Moriarty himself—well, a mannequin version—decked out in the Crown Jewels, happy as could be. There's a reminder that nothing in the Tower of London is as valuable as a few tiny lines of computer code that can open any door. And Jim's written a silly little poem of sorts and draws far too much attention to both "the rod of power in his right hand's grasp" and "the Orb" between his legs (and then we were at the Tower of London two days later and found out that that's not just a euphemism, it's literally called the Orb? Unhinged behaviour. And I don't even know who to blame for it now. The "rod of power" bit was all him, though. Could have been normal and called it a scepter!) and you have to figure out a code and (spoilers!) the code is 7437. Which is fine and perfectly normal and I'm sure the vast majority of people who complete that room think nothing of it, but unfortunately, we were not a group of "the vast majority" and so our experience was not what you might call "fine and normal", because Mia input the code and there was a little beep of success of and then she, without missing a beat, went on to say, "Oh, that's so funny! That's the numbers for S-H-E-R," at which point Rebs and I immediately sank to the floor to stare into the abyss while waiting for the next door to open.

So, just to recap: the point of TRF was definitely that there was no code, there was never any code, it was just about knowing people's pressure points and getting them to do what you wanted, but now that we're inside Moriarty's mind it's definitely all about codes and there's a silly poem to draw attention to various things including, but not limited to, the Orb between his legs, and the code that you need from him so that you can go deeper into his mind is S-H-E-R. Yeah. Sure. Why not. This is Fine! What really haunts me is knowing how many people will do that escape room and will never know that that's what those numbers mean. Because why on earth would you?

(Just to prove how normal I am about this, I won't even say anything about a potential parallel between Moriarty's "Orb" situation and the globe on Mycroft's desk under Whitehall. See? I'm not even mentioning it, why would you bring up something like that? No M-theory here, no sir! Not a single trace of it!)

Congratulations, you've made it to the rooftop, where Sherlock jumped off a roof and James Moriarty met his end, and I swear Jim has a line somewhere in there complaining about how hard it is to plan this sort of thing. (Whatever that means!)

We've got screens playing clips from all thirteen episodes of the show—okay, that might be an exaggeration; I didn't actually check to see if there were clips from every single episode. But there were definitely clips from series four, which is very funny considering how the universe that these rooms seem to be set makes exactly zero mention of John's wife at any point in time. (Hey, hello, hi, it's me who's writing this. Obviously I noticed when there were shots from TFP on those screens.)—and there are computer-code-esque symbols on the walls and Jim is lying dead on the floor and Sherlock is standing on the edge of the rooftop.

Here are some fun facts for you: the gun is still in Jim's pocket. (He's definitely dead, though! You know how you shoot yourself in the head and then return your gun to its rightful place before you politely lay down and die?) And Sherlock's mannequin is wearing the purple shirt of sex a purple shirt, which is a detail that might not be noticed unless you're thoroughly ransacking his every pocket (twice) to check for a missing key, and I was going to say something about how of course he is, because what else would you expect him to be wearing when we're three levels deep in Moriarty's mind and the code to get this far was S-H-E-R, but then I went back and checked and Sherlock is, in fact, wearing a purple shirt at the end of TRF. (Which somehow still doesn't actually negate any of the above, imo.)

Anyway, the first puzzle in this room involves finding a bunch of physical puzzle pieces to solve a puzzle, and figuring out how to unlock doors to obtain all of the pieces, and some of the padlocks use code words that they give you by putting phrases from their "sophisticated and cerebral" merch on the screen and highlighting letters, and some use numbers that you get by solving other riddles, but one of them is a padlock with a physical key and (spoiler!) it turns out that you don't even need to get the key for that one, because there's another way to get the puzzle piece out without unlocking the door at all! (Was his grand daylight robbery scheme a matter of keys and codes, or was it just about knowing people's pressure points and blackmailing them? You decide!)

And then it's time to manage the final task of uploading Sherlock's brain to the AI, which is accomplished by running around hitting buttons while music plays over the speakers to instil a sense of great urgency. You definitely would not want to do this with fewer than three members in your party. This is where they use Jim's line of "Surprise! You didn't think I'd just disappear, did you?" as seen in one of the teaser trailers, and they also plaster every screen with the classic "Did you miss me?" footage that mysteriously appeared on every screen in the country at the end of HLV.

But when you do manage to complete the task, Mycroft's voice comes back to congratulate you, and to sort of threaten you (though that's par for the course when it's Mycroft Holmes we're talking about, I'll admit), and to leave open the possibility of your returning for another job someday. I, for one, cannot wait to see what they're going to do for round three. (Personally, I think it would be very funny if they put one of the rooms on the Demeter for the next one. No rebranding necessary, no discussion of Dracula at any point whatsoever, but for some reason you find yourself on a boat, in cabin number 9, playing chess with the Devil himself Moriarty! What a shocking and unforeseen turn of events that would be!)

(The only real downside of them doing a third room would be that I would then have to make time to do three of these in one day. And that might be a bit excessive. I mean, three eye exams in one day? Someone's definitely going to say something.)

We had a very lovely time at the Mind Palace bar after that, to debrief a bit, and there was a logic puzzle that I still need to sit down and crack at some point when I have a moment. I was personally very pleased to find drinks called "The Diogenes Club" and "The Lying Detective" (both of which I was contractually obligated to order, naturally), and did you know you can rent out the bar for private events? I'm sure I would be very normal about such a situation. (Good job I'm not local to the area, truly!)

This has already gone longer than I think I intended, and I'm sure I could keep going, given the opportunity, but I'll close things out here, and say again that I do absolutely recommend doing the escape room(s) if you have the opportunity; I could not have been more pleased with the experience. My sole complaint is that they don't let you wander back through the rooms after solving the puzzles to have a moment to appreciate all the small details when you're not working against the clock. And also they should send me the scripts, as a treat. Along with any remaining unused video or audio footage. (Moftiss, my DMs are open, feel free to drop the links at your earliest convenience!)

[weenwrites]

Cooking A Meal: Part 1

Summary - You ask one of the bots to cook you a meal, but honestly it goes about as well as you'd expect. Characters - Optimus, Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, Arcee, Cliffjumper, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, Wheeljack Content - Crack Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: This is an un-revised shitpost, not something too serious.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Optimus

He doesn't know anything about human cooking, but he tries for you. He's good at following a recipe, but he'll come to you every now and then to ask what something means or to have you try what he's made thus far and see if it's to your liking.

He tries making healthy meals that would cater to your tastes, and he's good at finding recipes for foods you definitely would like, it's just that when it comes to doing the actual cooking itself, it's executed rather poorly. He's not too bad, but honestly he might just under or overcook something and feed you some runny, rubbery scrambled eggs for example.

When it comes to presentation, he honestly doesn't do much in that area. He just puts the food on a plate or in a bowl and serves it to you with the appropriate eating utensil.

It may be a mediocre meal, but at the end of the day at least he cleans up after himself.

Ratchet

He's very precise with the measurements and he's an expert with a knife. Ratchet's real good at working with his hands, given his occupation as a doctor, and honestly he'd make a pretty good cook! That is, if he understood more about human cuisine...

He doesn't understand why some humans enjoy their eggs with runny yolks or some of their food to be under-cooked, and he doesn't want to give you salmonella or any other disease, so he'll end up overcooking the eggs. The same goes for any slab of meat you give him. Ask him to cook you a steak and he'll serve you what looks like a burnt block of leather that's so dry you can stand it up on it's side.

The presentation of the entire meal is plain and looks boring. He just serves everything to you separately in their own bowls or plates, and never on the same plate. But he says that the important thing is that you're eating something, not the way it's presented.

And at least he cleans up his own messes.

Ultra Magnus

He follows everything to a T. Each measurement he makes is precise, so he doesn't make too much or too little of anything. However, he'll make healthy meals for you to eat. A meal that has a bit of everything from the food triangle unless you're vegan or vegetarian. He'll refuse to make you anything unhealthy,

He even tries to present the food in a fancy-ish way! However, it's somewhat akin to being presented with a whole bunch of paperwork to fill out. The important stuff on the top (or in this case the healthiest stuff to eat) and the least important stuff on the bottom (the rest of the food). It may look a bit weird, and taste off, but... Eh, it's good enough.

Given his handicap and the fact he's still trying to regain full mobility with it, he may be a bit slow with things such as chopping up ingredients, seasoning meat, or any sort of thing that would be more efficient with 2 hands. Still, he's made a lot of progress, so much so that he appears to be doing things at a relatively normal pace.

And of course once he's done in the kitchen, he'll always dutifully clean up whatever dishes he used or messes he made without a single complaint.

Arcee

She sorta does better than everyone else here, but that's only because she insists that you tell her what to do and how to do it. She copies any examples you give her, and always looks to you for advice on how it should look, taste, smell, etc.. And she takes the entire "meal cooking" thing very seriously.

Though the meal may not be too delicious, the meal she makes you is very healthy and nutritious! She tries to include as many foods from the 5 different food groups as she can, and what she can't include she attempts to make up for by adding it as a side to the dish.

She's good at working with her hands, so she'd be quick at dicing vegetables with a knife. So preparing ingredients would be about a cinch. But along with being able to work quickly, she'd be good at handling things carefully. Like she'd be good at working with homemade pasta without ripping or tearing the dough, or pinching the edges of gyoza wrappers shut without puncturing holes in it.

The presentation itself is a bit lacking, but what matters is that most of the food on that plate is edible and very healthy for you! And she's the kind of person that insists that you finish everything on your plate, but not in any sort of forceful way. She'll just remind you to finish all your vegetables or something similar.

Cliffjumper

Similarly to literally everyone else on this list, he'd most likely overcook your food, but he still does a better job than most, but it depends on the meal. He's better at making soups than he would be at cooking meat. But he's a quick learner. He'd manage to closely copy whatever you'd show him about cooking.

He'd make quite a mess in the kitchen though. He'll accidentally knock the spatula off the cluttered counter as he reaches for something else, or he'll jokingly fling some flour at you in a playful manner. He even whole-heartedly thought that you could put the egg—shell and everything—in whatever it is you're making. He didn't think you needed to crack the shell because he once saw that humans could eat things with hard shells like snails or jawbreakers.

But when things start going awry, he'll come up with some unorthodox way to partly salvage the meal. Emphasis on partly salvage, because while it may be fixed, it now tastes off, or looks off, or smells off, but it's still edible. He knows nothing about presentation and honestly he just shovels whatever he's made you onto a plate and hands it over to you as is.

But even though the meal may be sub-par, it's hard to deny that it wasn't fun to make. That is unless you got upset at him for making a mess, in which that case he'll earnestly apologize and start scrubbing away at the mess.

Bulkhead

He lacks Ratchet's dexterity, so he's pretty sloppy with a knife. He might just end up accidentally grinding the ingredients to mush, or cutting them unevenly, but he's trying. The thing he's best at is kneading dough, but he thinks that all you need to do is punch it and move it around, so depending on the dough, he most likely ends up over-working it in seconds.

The food he'd make for you would lean more towards unhealthy and extremely delicious, unless you asked him to cook you a specific healthy food. Nonetheless, it would be a flavorful meal thanks to all the spices and seasonings he'd add to it.

The presentation's relatively nice! It might just make up for the fact the food looks a little mangled (unless you had him make you soup or something that's supposed to be mashed, then he's just about aced it). He'll ask you every now and then about the amount of pepper or salt he should add to the food, or to see if he added too much spice or too little... He might just end up burning a thing or two here or there, but for the most part, the food he makes for you is pretty good!

Bumblebee

He's good at making simple meals like sandwiches or mashed potatoes, but it's always a bit lacking in flavor. It's still good nonetheless, he just adds too little salt, pepper, or seasoning in general. Anything more complex than that and he'll be serving you a mess on a plate.

He's very considerate and tries to make a meal catered towards your personal tastes. If you're vegan or vegetarian, or have an allergic reaction to something, he'll try and find a recipe for something you can eat.

He tries to make the food look "cute". Like if you asked him to make you pancakes, he'd try to stack them up and make a face on them out of whipped cream, m&ms, and syrup. It may taste a bit weird, or sickeningly sweet, but the presentation's nice.

Smokescreen

He sucks at it. He cooks using the microwave instead of the stove. Once he's done with it, your microwave will smell like a dumpster fire, and you'll have to scrub away at all the splattered food that hardened into thick layers of burnt crust which is near impossible to get off. Even if you ignore it, the stench from the microwave might just seep into whatever you cook in there next, and absolutely ruin it's flavor. It's safe to say that your microwave is ruined.

The only knowledge he has of cooking is from watching Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares, but then again those shows didn't really teach him anything about cooking, they just served as entertainment. I mean the most he learned is that you should keep track of when you got ingredients, and to keep your pantry, fridge, cabinets, and kitchen clean, but that doesn't help him boil an egg.

Speaking of eggs, he tried cooking an egg in the microwave once—under the impression that the egg would boil—and much to his surprise, it exploded.

He presents the food in an... Interesting way... Honestly he just arranges it in whatever way looks cool and serves it to you with a "bon appetit".

He promises he'll clean up your microwave once he's done, but there's this stench that will always remain in there no matter what you do.

Wheeljack

He's hopeless too. Not only does he burn like 80 percent of what he's supposed to be cooking for you, but he over-seasons it too. There will be so much pepper on your food that you'll be sneezing the moment you catch a whiff.

But with a little supervision in the kitchen, he could make you something remotely edible. It may not look the part or smell the part, but it still is edible to some degree. He's very handy with a knife, and if you knew a thing or two about food science, he'd be open to listening to you talk about the glucose bonds in dough and whatnot.

If he put in a little bit of his time to do some research about food, he'd actually get a solid grasp of the bare bones of cooking. Like how long to cook meat and how to know if it's done, how to work a ball of dough, how not to overcook vegetables... Et cetera. Because it's all science-y in a way.

The presentation of the meal itself is average. He doesn't quite know how to "decorate" your food, so he just slaps it on a plate, or pours it in a bowl, or serves it in whatever fashion it should be served in, and he gives it to you.

[gabatronnie]

I feel ya sis, with that said can you do "it" with crush!chaggie(Charlie and Vaggie). Reader and them aren't dating yet.

Reader is a strong overlord but suffer from depression, their insanely strong. (This part is my personal headcanon) reader has no limits shapeshifting, like they could shift into anything, lost an arm? Make a new one. Want different hair style? Just change it, something like that.

This takes place after ep 8. The hotel has been rebuilt and everything has settled down, and reader was still overwhelming stressed.

Reader resides in the hotel in one of the many new rooms, they had a anglic dagger(ordered from Carmine herself) and they just had the urge to do "it", and so they did it. But Charlie and vaggie had went to get them for an activity, and saw them do "it".

Basically i just want them to comfort me🥲

No need to do it if it makes you uncomfortable, and sorry if it's too long just thought you might want some extra details. The rest you can do as you please.

Thanks if you can do it, and no probs if you can't do it

chaggie comforting reader after they relapse (hcs)

this piece includes the following: self harm, blood, depressive (possibly suicidal) thoughts

it was vaggie who initially walked in on you whilst in the act, with charlie following soon after, and it’s safe to say that well… they were shocked.

charlie was confused more than anything, you seemed perfectly happy inside and out, and to say she was shocked was an understatement, and even if you weren’t all those things, she couldn’t understand why someone so amazing would do something so awful, especially if it’s to themselves

vaggie was more so personally upset with herself, as we see throughout the course of the show, vaggie can get hard on herself when she feels as if she didn't fufill some kind of quota on how much she's supposed to do for you

but aside from all that, vaggie will softly but sternly tell you to put the dagger down, as charlie softly mutters “what happened..?”

charlie and vaggie approach you slowly, a bit hesitant to push anything, but vaggie takes the dagger from you and softly places it somewhere safe before the three of you have a conversation

it may seem like your being scolded or lectured by these two, but you’re not, they just want to be safe and happy, that’s really all that matters to them

charlie will probably shed a few tears, she feels awful, and feels like she’s failed you in a way - like she hasn’t properly down her job

you three go over that your girls want you to be safe and happy and they understand life gets hard and people make mistakes, but that this isn’t the way to do it

once you three address the main issues and go over a few ground rules, they just wanna hug you, especially charlie

it’s safe to say that after this, charlie and vaggie both try their best to be more aware of your behaviors and emotions, charlie makes sure to include more mental health themed activities for the hotel residents, and vaggie ensures that you aren’t alone for an extended period of time on a regular basis

a/n: originally this was gonna be a oneshot but it didn’t save so i spent like almost all day writing this but as headcanons 😔 either way i hope it’s still enjoyable

© gabatronnie - don't translate, heavily inspire, feed my work to ai, or repost it on other platforms.

[tottentz]

🐀⭑ : ❝ don't look the other way ! ❞ ⤹ you can call me tori ⋆ ｡˚ twenty one ! any pronouns ◟in my overwhelmed era.

tell me a secret ── ( n ) sfw + dark content friendly ๑ minors / ageless blogs will be blocked and removed ˎˊ˗ 𓄹⠀𓈒⠀part of @houseofsolisoccasum , @pixelcafe-network & @nereidsrealm network⠀ ꒱⠀⊹

. . . recent works : house advantage ── honkai star rail, nsfw + someone to you ── zenless zone zero, sfw.

. ࣪✦ ៸៸ tottentz ▐ © 2024 — please refrain from stealing / coping + reposting + translating any of my works without my permission.

endulzar tu recuerdo ⠀ֺ    ▬   (ㅤ𝐁𝐘𝐅 + 𝐃𝐍𝐈ㅤ)

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : i frequently create and interact with mature content. for everyone's safety, you must have an age indicator in your bio/pinned. minors, ageless, and blank blogs are not welcome on my page and will be removed.

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₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎: i rarely use pronouns. most works can be read as gn!reader.

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : my nsfw writing typically includes female anatomy, but sometimes i may use ambiguous/gender neutral anatomy. regardless, this info will be tagged! i want everyone to be aware and comfortable.

llorar de la pena ⠀ֺ    ▬   (ㅤ𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 ㅤ)

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₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : you are responsible for your own media experience. 

marea de almas ⠀ֺ    ▬   (ㅤ𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ㅤ)

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : come by and say hello! my inbox is always open. i am a little shy and might as well suffer from social anxiety to do it myself, but i love to talk about anything and everything. just be mindful of the messages you may send my way.

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : my requests are always open ! just be patient and kind.

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : do not ask for part twos.

₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ : thirsts and thoughts are always welcome.

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archivo de cristal ⠀ֺ    ▬   (ㅤ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ㅤ)

⸻ 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒 :

✦ › YOU BEGUN TO FEEL LIKE HOME ˖˙ ᰋ ⸻ honkai star rail , multiple character , gender neutral reader 、𝐒𝐅𝐖. ꗃ : cw. reader is shy-ish, very to little mention of injuries on aventurine's, boothill's and blade's part, i don't specified any mental issues, but i do describe readers struggles which could be identified as anxiety ˎˊ˗

↺ ; the feeling was familiar, one that he had organically all the time when thinking of you. it was the one that he shoved down over and over again around you, yet craved more than anything. and here you were, unknowingly returning it to him. you hadn't intended it to be shared and you had no idea you even did.

✦ › KISS ME FROM THE RUSH ˖˙ ᰋ ⸻ honkai star rail , multiple character , reader has no pronouns but has afab anatomy 、𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖. ꗃ : cw. reader has no pronouns but has afab anatomy, soft dom ! character & inexperienced ! reader ˎˊ˗

↺ ; you whimper; mewl as if language were unknown to you. all you can do is cry, sob, as his splits your little pussy in half. your name echoes from his kiss swollen lips as his fucks you harder into the mattress. his brain is in shambles; cluttered and screwed as if he had lost reasoning, but he was aware of himself; aware of his present endeavor.

✦ › LOSE FACE ˖˙ ᰋ ⸻ honkai star rail , multiple character , female reader with afab anatomy 、𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖. ꗃ : cw. ambiguous relantionship, threesome ˎˊ˗

↺ ; these two men will be the end of you. you just know it / or, in which sometimes three is better than two.

⸻ 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 :

✦ › DROWNED AND DREAMT ˖˙ ᰋ ⸻ honkai star rail , aventurine , gender neutral reader , drabble 、𝐒𝐅𝐖 ˎˊ˗

↺ ; you take a breath. there is a moment between that and when you lift your hand from his upper arm to rest it on his head. you comb your fingers through his hair like you are just as unsure about this as he is. it's been a long time since anyone touched him like this.

✦ › HE'S COMPLICATED, HE'S IRRATIONAL ˖˙ ᰋ ⸻ genshin impact , alhaitam , gender neutral reader , drabble 、𝐒𝐅𝐖 ˎˊ˗

↺ ; "sure you are okay? he just doesn't seem like the kind of, you know, to be able to love somebody." you freeze, and alhaitam feels like everything suddenly stops.

⸻ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

SO GIVE ME HOPE ﹙ hsr , sfw ﹚ ٬ 牛乳 𐜤 𑂾 or the things they do when they miss you IN PRIVATE ﹙ hsr , nsfw ﹚ ٬ 牛乳 𐜤 𑂾 or little nasty things they do during sex SOMEONE TO YOU ﹙ zzz , sfw ﹚ ٬ 牛乳 𐜤 𑂾 or little things you do that make them fall in love again

[incarnadin3]

Obey Me Brothers vs. Snapchat

A/N: Anybody else write stories in their head while showering? Cuz this is exactly that. Also, if it's crappy and goofy, then I'm sorry cuz I just had to do this.

Lucifer:

No.

This man absolutely refuses to use it

According to him, it's childish, and he could just use normal messages

Mammon:

I feel like he'd be the type to search up random names and friend everyone

(Probably so that they give him money)

I feel like since him and Asmo party together, they'd probably also compete for who has more followers/friends

Leviathan:

This man has one friend and it's the Snapchat AI

He's the type to absolutely refuse sending a snap of his face, so expect a black screen

Satan:

Probably has a few friends that he ignores unless they're talking about cats or books

I feel like he'd low-key be obsessed with the AI

Like constantly texting it about what he reads, sees, and all the other "smart people" shit

Low-key I feel like he might even try to see how far he can go with the ai, and if he can break it

Asmodeous:

He'd probably have a public profile with a lot of followers that thirst over him

Routinely posts thirst traps

Competes with Mammon on how many friends/followers each one has

He's the type to get spammed with requests instead of sending them

Beelzebub:

He'd be the food blogger dude

His entire feed would probably just be food

He probably just follows his brothers and other random people to support them

Likes everything he sees

Belphegor:

The type to send the most UNHOLY snaps to the AI

Poor AI

The type to ignore your snaps and texts for hours at times but will yell at you if you don't respond to him within 0.25 nanoseconds

[hedonists]

What we are not going to do is feed Noah's voice into AI just so that you can fantasize about him saying shit to you.

At this point I gotta ask, the ones that do this, did you forget Noah is a real person? Writing about a fictionalized version of him is one thing, we all know how to separate fiction from reality. Or so I thought.

But in order to safely engage with rpf you have to keep this line intact. This includes not treating the real person you use as inspiration for your work like a Barbie doll whose boundaries you can step all over.

This isn't a matter of "you don’t know if he'd be okay with this or not". We live in an age where AI porn that uses real people without consent, and often without them even knowing, is a real, massive issue. I’m not in any way saying a chat bot is anywhere near this level, but it’s not helping.

You might think feeding Noah's voice to a chat bot is harmless and silly fun. But it’s normalizing something we should be fighting against and it’s making it worse.

I was trying to think of a way to say this kindly, but fuck it.

Noah is a real human being, treat him like one, he's not the guy living in your head or your fics, they're not the same. One is real, the other isn't. Apparently some of you need that reminder.