#might not even see the rainbow but maybe someone will maybe i'll see it in a month or a year

[loverboybrightsideghost]

sometimes i don't think people realize how much effort it takes me to be a positive person. like this is on purpose. i'm doing this on purpose. even i don't usually realize how hard it is until i get metaphorically punched in the gut and it just becomes insanely difficult to even want to do anything at all.

[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | two.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, the warmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 7.3k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, alcohol consumption and intoxication, some drunk crying lol, yacking, lil inkling of jealousy, overthinking and burying feelings, more seonghwa x oc dynamic

—a/n: hi hi! hope you guys enjoy this update! the next two updates will be quite lengthy lol stay tuned! if you need a lil something fun, i posted after hours last weekend!

"You know, Y/N. One day, you should sit down and eat with me. I'll pay for everything. It'll be a nice little date." The old man who is a regular at the restaurant smiles up at you while you switch his empty cup with a newly refilled cup of beer. 

"Sure, but you know, my boss is also my cousin. I could always ask her for free food if I wanted it. Wouldn't a date be nicer somewhere else?" You laugh and nod, giving him a wink before walking off. "Mr. Ong asked me out on another date."

"Ou, to our restaurant? How sweet of him. Maybe one day you should actually sit down and eat with him."

"I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, Soyeon."

"He probably just needs company, you weirdo." She laughs. "Aye, might be nice, though. You never know until you try." You roll your eyes. "Unless.."

"Unless, what?"

"Someone else has your heart." Soyeon nudges you behind the counter as you two work on packing some to-go orders.

"Who is someone else?" 

"You know, only your bestfriend of 16 years who does everything and anything for you." Soyeon giggles. But, before she can even indulge in her own little fantasy she's trying to project on you, Seonghwa walks through the front door— black, wavy hair messily framing his head. "Speak of the devil." You glare at her and roll her eyes while she continues to giggle loudly next to you.

"I can't fucking believe you."

"What?!" You look up at Seonghwa and give him a nod. "Hwa! Our favorite person ever."

"Hey." He smiles at Soyeon, giving Junseo a wave as he helps Yoongi in the kitchen.

"What're you doing here?"

"Thought I'd pick you up for Sannie's thing." He looks at you.

"Aw, Hwa. I told you I was okay taking bus."

"I was already in the area." He sits at the bar, watching as you continue to pack the remaining orders. 

"Want anything?" Soyeon asks, making Hwa shake his head in response.

"I'm good, thanks."

"You should get going so you can meet up with everyone on time." Soyeon nudges you.

"Let me give Mr. Ong his check and direct him your way before I go." You grab a new batch of dried squid with the check, pacing over to Mr. Ong with a huge smile on your face. "My dear, I have some bad news. I'm off for the night. Here's a refill of your dried squid and the check. Just pay with Soyeon at the front, okay?" He frowns and playfully protests.

"You can't go that early! What am I supposed to do when my favorite is gone?!" 

"Oh, I know. It's a tragedy. I'm so sorry, Mr. Ong. I'll see you next time!" You give him a sweet smile before walking to the back and hanging up your apron. "Soyeon will take great care of you!"

"I sure will, Mr. Ong. What else do you need?" He continues to playfully protest and partake in cute banter with Soyeon, even as you grab your things and walk out the door with Seonghwa.

"Really got the hots for you. Gonna let him take you out on a date?" Seonghwa adds as he leads the way to his parked car up the street.

"Well, just so you know, he actually did ask me on a date today. For the umpteenth time. He offered to pay for my dinner at the restaurant." You giggle as you step into the passenger's seat of Hwa's car. You always commend Hwa for being so clean and tidy, his car always in pristine condition like a new car would be. You especially love the air freshener that sits on his rear view mirror, Seonghwa always making sure to hang a new one to keep the fragrance alive.

"How sweet of him." He chuckles. "How was work otherwise?"

"Good. Busy." You let out a breath.

"Not too tired to go?"

"Never! I need to see Sannie, are you kidding?"

"I'm just giving you some options." He says, pulling away from the curb to begin the trek over to the bar.

"Thanks, Hwa. I'm perfectly fine and excited." You clap your hands in excitement.

"I think they're all already there."

"They're just waiting for us?"

"Mhm."

"Can't wait. I can't believe he went MIA when he was in Barcelona."

"I mean, we heard from him every now and then, but yeah." Seonghwa licks his lips, eyes focused on the road in front of him. "Guess he really wanted to focus on his program. Plus, I'm sure he was just basking in the new environment. Being in a new country and taking it all in."

"Good for him. I strive to be that way."

"Long way to go." You playfully smack him on the arm, making him give off a small yelp.

"I'm glad he did that, though. You don't normally find yourself in a situation like that all the time." Seonghwa nods.

"Yeah. I agree." You rest your head back against the headrest, giving yourself a moment to rest before the chaos begins. Before you could even get a few seconds of peace, Seonghwa is turning at a corner, instantly pulling into a free spot on the street.

"Mind if we walk a bit? I don't think we'll find anything closer to the bar."

"Sure. If I get wasted, it's on you to carry me." You unbuckle your seatbelt and hop out of the car while Seonghwa follows suit.

"Hell no."

"So what, are you just gonna leave me?"

"Yeah." He says nonchalantly, walking ahead of you.

"You're so mean to me." You pout, making Seonghwa look down at you once you finally catch up to his side.

"Am I? Even though I lose sleep to save you from your shitty ex-boyfriend?"

"Hey, I was just kidding." He laughs. "It's not funny. Are you sick of me?"

"Y/N, please."

"Seonghwa, are you sick of me? Cause if you are, then I am too!" You tug on his arm and he shakes his head. 

"We wouldn't be in each other's lives for this long if I was." He scoffs. "Besides, what the hell have I done to make you sick of me?"

"I thought so. Don't get me started." You playfully attempt to smack him on the arm. At this point, the two of you have finally reached the entrance to the bar, Wooyoung being the first to spot you walking over.

"Baby girl and her grumpy bodyguard are here!" He yells, waving you two over. You call out Wooyoung and Hongjoong's name while waving happily, but the individual next to them causes you to pause and almost short-circuit.

Because what do you mean that's Choi San?

You gasp when you finally process that it's San standing next to Wooyoung, his cheeks a rose-tinted color as he fiddles with his hands. He's nervous seeing you for the first time in years, hoping you'd still be the same around him like before.

"Sannie!" You scream, running into San's arms and allowing him to swing you around. When he puts you down, he gets a good look at your face and smiles, sending those butterflies loose in your stomach.

He definitely changed over the years.

It's been about three years since you all graduated, and since you last saw San. Once graduation was over, he felt the need to travel and explore, eventually stumbling into an Art and Architecture program in Barcelona. That's where he spent a majority of his years abroad before coming back home.

To you, your friends, his family.

This.

The familiar.

But the last time you saw San, he was a super sweet, awkward guy who experimented with hair colors and lacked consistency with the gym [even though he said he wanted to be better about a million times]. In reality though, he didn't think too much about his physical appearance and wasn't big on dressing up, was glued to his games and his shiba pillow pet named Shiber— even after graduation.

Now, he stands in front of you— a nice fitting black tee tucked into some dress pants and boots, brow slits, black hair slicked back with strands falling to his face, buff as shit in all the right places. You still smell his cologne lingering on you, on your hair, even as your eyes continue to glaze over his body.

"Wow, you look.. different." You accidentally let out while letting your eyes linger. He chuckles, showing off his deep dimples.

"What is that supposed to mean? I haven't seen you in about three years and that's the first thing you say?" He teases, pulling you into another tight hug, your cheek pressed against his chest while Seonghwa furrows his brows. Because what the fuck is he watching right now? It's so easy to tell when you're feeling some type of way, even if you won't admit it.

"Sorry, I meant that in a good way." You look up at him and playfully tap his chest. "I'm happy you're back home. It's been too long."

"I am, too." Seonghwa clears his throat, breaking the weird, flirty silence between the two of you.

"Can we go inside?" Seonghwa chimes in, looking at anyone for some sort of agreement.

"Okaaaaay!" Wooyoung says, clapping his hands awkwardly. "You didn't have to make it so fucking weird, Mr. Grumpygills." He and Hongjoong snort while they begin to walk into the bar, Hwa's hand coming up to smack Wooyoung on the back of his neck. "Ouch, what the fuck! Joongie laughed too." He whines.

"Shut up."

"I can't wait to hear your stories about Barcelona!" You link your arm with San's as you two trail behind and begin to talk about how he's been lately. Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Seonghwa slide in first before you and San follow suit into the booth.

"Somebody order before he loses his shit watching this." Hongjoong mumbles, eyeing the happy hour menu.

"Tequila? Soju?" Wooyoung yells, already calling the server over. "Both? Fuck it. Seonghwa looks like he needs it anyway."

"I will personally toss your ass out of this bar myself." Seonghwa says under his breath, glaring at Wooyoung before returning his attention to the menu. After a few moments of peace and silence, Hongjoong takes initiative to order for the booth— making sure to include everyone's wants and wishes before thanking the server with a smile and a curt nod.

The soju bottles come out first, and you immediately crack them open to get the party started. You line up all of the shot glasses and start pouring [heavily], passing it onto the boys for them to join you.

"Goodness." Hongjoong says, carefully lifting his shot glass filled to the brim. "Y/N, I love you, but we have all night, you know?"

"Exactly, Joongie! More time to get in more shots!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit babygirl! Don't worry about the grandpas!" Wooyoung yells along, tapping his glass against yours. "Sannie's back!" San shyly laughs, saying a few words along the lines of 'thank you' and 'i missed you guys a lot.' Everyone taps their glasses once more before downing their shots, with you wasting no time to pour the next round.

But the next round becomes the third, the fifth, maybe seventh, tenth? You aren't really sure when it's mainly you, San and Wooyoung taking the shots and requesting bottle after bottle. At some point, the empty bottles are gathered in the middle of the table and Seonghwa is having to play tetris to make the food fit.

"I need to pee. I'll be back."

"Are you good to go by yourself?" Wooyoung questions. "I can stand outside in the hallway until you're done."

"I'm good, I promise!" You slip out of the booth once San has slipped out of the way at the end, taking a moment to get your balance together since the world seems to be spinning a lot more than usual right now.

"Wow, I think I'm drunk." Wooyoung laughs as he plops back down onto the seat.

"Saaaame." San burps a bit before picking at the calamari sitting in front of him. "Y/N's fun. I forgot how fun she is."

"She is." Wooyoung smiles. "That's babygirl."

"Babygirl? Is this a new nickname we're calling her?"

"It's a nickname I'm calling her and Hwa hates it." Wooyoung giggles when he eyes Seonghwa next to him.

"It's just weird."

"Not! You're just mad you can't come up with a cuter nickname for your bestfriend."

"I don't need to." Seonghwa continues to eat, brushing off Wooyoung's drunk teasing.

"Did you guys come from work today?" Hongjoong shifts the topic as he munches on some of the food, hearing the slight annoyance in Seonghwa's tone.

"Yeah. Picked up Y/N on the way over."

"When are Soyeon and Junseo leaving for Japan?"

"In a few days." Wooyoung gasps.

"Does that mean we'll get to see Chacha?!"

"That's right, I never met Charli." San says, cheeks flushed completely to red now that he's 100% drunk.

"She's cute." Seonghwa smiles a bit. "But yeah, Soyeon asked Y/N to take charge in watching Chacha since Yaya's knees have been bothering her." Hongjoong nods.

"She's really cute, dude. She turned three not too long ago." Wooyoung shows San a picture. 

"She's so cute." San laughs at the pictures of Charli.

"I'm back!" You announce, the boys at the end slipping out of the booth to let you get back inside. "What're you guys looking at?"

"Chacha." You smile.

"Aw yeah, Charli! You haven't met her. She'd love you." You look at San.

"Can't wait. She's super cute."

"She's stuck to this one the most, though." You point at Seonghwa. "All she does is cry for Hwa." You pour yourself another shot.

"He's no fun, though." Wooyoung pokes fun and pouts at Seonghwa.

"It's cause mentally, you're the same age as Charli. Of course you relate the most."

"Aye." Wooyoung flips him off while laughing. "Fuck you."

"Am I wrong?" Seonghwa smirks.

"Is she just gonna stay with Yaya when she doesn't have preschool? She only goes three days, right?" Hongjoong asks.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure." You reach across to grab some food, getting in Seonghwa's way. "I know Yaya won't mind, but I might just bring her along to the restaurant. She can color or something. Our regulars don't mind keeping her company, too."

"Cute." 

"But, she'll be sleeping with me and everything." You say with a slightly full mouth. You feel Seonghwa accidentally nudge you while grabbing a chicken wing, making your drunk ass glare back at him just as you roughly nudge him. He mumbles a quick 'stop' as he nudges you again, making you respond with an even more aggressive nudge that has him moving in his seat. The childish back and forth has Hongjoong confused, eyes peering over the edge of his phone while he watches the interaction mid-text. "You stop." You groan.

"Seriously?" Hongjoong asks, sometimes unsure how you two have dealt with each other for this long.

"He elbowed me first." You drunkly respond, that last shot of soju finally settling in.

"It was an accident. I was trying to grab food." Seonghwa gives you a look. It's gonna be a long night. "Eat more. Drunk ass." Seonghwa drops a wing onto your plate before continuing to pick at his food.

"No." You pout and he furrows his brows.

"Fine, suit yourself. You're gonna be mad you didn't." He watches as you reach over to grab the soju bottle and pour Wooyoung and San another shot.

"Don't be a killjoy, Hwa. Sannie is back, doesn't that mean anything to you?" You whine, your doe-eyes peering up at him as he eats. He doesn't respond, nor does he keep eye contact with you for long because he can't stand it when you look at him like that. 

"I'm driving, remember?" He raises a brow. 

"Right." You giggle. "I'll take another on your behalf then." You shrug and take one last shot of soju right after San and Wooyoung take their shots.

"She's gonna yack tonight." Hongjoong says while puckering his lips, keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

"Yeah, probably." Seonghwa nonchalantly munches on a mozzarella stick.

"Am! Not!" You direct your response to Hongjoong, but before you can go on and defend yourself even more, a loud scream erupts when the DJ starts to play one of your favorite songs.

"Who wants to dance?!" Wooyoung yells loudly as he stands at the booth, San already ready to make his way to the dance floor. "Babygirl sure does!" San grabs your hand and leads the way, with Wooyoung pushing Hongjoong out of the booth to follow along. "You two coming?" He asks just as Hongjoong and Seonghwa shake their head, leaving him to nod and find you and San on the floor.

"Looks like those two are gonna get extra close again now that he's back for good." Hongjoong takes a turn teasing Seonghwa, knowing the flirty interaction from earlier in the night is still irking the living daylight out of him.

"Mm, maybe." Seonghwa continues to chomp on his food while avoiding eye contact.

"Wow, they're dancing awfully close like that together." Hongjoong lies, watching as Seonghwa's eyes suddenly dart to the dance floor ahead. He tries not to make it obvious but my god, is he hoping that you and San aren't dancing up on each other and are leaving room for the Holy Spirit instead. "See, you're full of shit."

"Dude, fuck off. Why is everyone on my ass about this today?"

"Maybe cause you should do something about it."

"If she wants to date San, then she should go for it. Can't tell her who she can or can't date."

"You're right, by all means. But I'm telling you to be fucking real with yourself." Seonghwa rolls his eyes and shakes his head before looking back out to the dance floor. He's a little irritated that he's had to hear this not once, but twice in one day— though, he knows his boys are only looking out for him and telling him the truth. For some reason, he just can't think about it right now. He refuses to, mainly out of fear. He doesn't want this to consume him, to change things without him even realizing.

He wants you, but he'll have you the way the universe will allow him to have you.

After you, Wooyoung and San are done dancing [a very long hour or so afterwards], the group decides to call it a night shortly after. You're still drunk as hell, and Seonghwa doesn't even know how he's gonna get you home without creating chaos at this time of night. He just hopes he can at least get you to bed in one piece.

At least you're not running off to Mingi.

"I had so much fun!" You giggle. "Choi San." You tap his chest before hugging him. "I'm so glad you're back."

"I am, too."

"We have to hang out more now that you're back. T-to make up for lost—" You hiccup. "—time."

"That sounds good with me." You smile at him before hugging Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

"I mean it!"

"I know, I do too!" He laughs.

"Hwa get home safely, please." Joong says before grabbing at Wooyoung's shirt just as he's about to run to the water fountain nearby. "No, you're not going to the fountain."

"I just wanna make a wish and toss a coin in there! I'm not gonna dive in!" Wooyoung whines while San laughs loudly. "Why are you being like that!" He continues on.

"You too!" Seonghwa calls out, picking up his pace when he realizes you've already started walking off. "Shit." He mumbles to himself.

"Wooooooo!" You skip happily as you and Seonghwa walk down the street to his car. You stumble on your feet a bit that he has to grab your wrist and pull you back towards him before you end up on the busy street where cars are constantly driving up and down.

"Y/N, be careful." He says, almost whining that you can't just stay still next to him.

"Hwa, I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"Y-yes!" You giggle and pose as if he's taking a picture, only to lose your balance and stumble on your feet again. You laugh though, and it makes Seonghwa chuckle a bit when he grabs your arm and holds you close.

"Okay, yeah. You're right! Perfectly fine." He lies just so you're satisfied.

"Aw, see. I told you so." You scrunch your nose at him and continue to let him guide you to the car. "Hwa." You tug on his arm.

"Mhm?"

"Sannie is so cute." You pout. "He is so, so cute. I m-mean." You hiccup. "He's always been cute but he's so attractive now. Like prince charming." You say ever so smitten, and it makes Seonghwa wanna silently scream and punch the air right now. "Isn't he?!"

"Sure."

"Do you think he'd like me? We're just friends and he probably just—" You hiccup again. "Just sees me as a friend."

"I think he would."

"You're not just saying that because you're my bestfriend, right? You can tell me the truth. You hate Mingi and you tell me all the time."

"I always tell you the truth." He chuckles. "And I do hate Mingi. That has never changed. He's an asshole and doesn't treat you right."

"Would San treat me right? Would you like him? We've all been friends so you know him." Seonghwa sighs.

"He would. He's a really good guy."

"I knooooow." You pout. "But he wouldn't like me."

"He would."

"Would he actually?"

"Why not? You're beautiful inside and out, smart, funny. Fun to be around. You're a headache at times, but everything about you is worth it." He almost mumbles the last part hoping you wouldn't catch it. You do, but it doesn't bother Seonghwa as much knowing you won't remember shit tomorrow.

"Aw, pichu." You stop and look at him while he unlocks his car and swings the passenger door open for you. "You really mean that?" Your bottom lip looks like it's trembling and Seonghwa can't help but furrow his brows in confusion at you.

"Are you gonna cry?"

"Yeah." Your bottom lip pokes out even more and you actually do start crying. 

"That wasn't meant to make you cry, Y/N. I'm just answering your question." He laughs as he wipes your tears, but you continue to cry, even as you drunkly plop onto the passenger's seat.

"It was so sweet, you're always so good to me. Sometimes." You sniff. "Well all the time. I feel like I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

"It's not, or else I wouldn't be here, right?" He looks at you just as he finishes buckling your seatbelt.

"Did you know?" You giggle with glazed, hooded eyes. "I wanted to marry you at some point. I couldn't see anyone else in my life the same way that I saw you and thought I'd end up marrying you." You snort and laugh loudly. "Kinda crazy isn't it? We would never date though so how could that even happen?" Seonghwa can't help but continue to look at you, even though at this point you've shut your eyes and started to lean back against the seat.

"Hm." Seonghwa hums. "I wouldn't say never."

"You're my bestfriend. We can't break up, remember? Ever. If we date, then ultimately we could get tired of each other and break up. A-and hate each other. It'll kill me." You mumble. "Even though I love you, I really, really love you, we promised not to break up or go there."

"Yeah." Seonghwa's heart shatters, the pieces falling to the pits of his stomach.

"Listen, even though I have this crush on Sannie, or I think I do, I don't know—" You giggle again as you tap his arm. "I want you to know that I'll always love you more than anyone or anything. Okay? You're always first!" Your eyes pop open to look at him. "My heart belongs to you and only you, Park Seonghwa!" You laugh and point at him cutely, shutting your eyes again to finally try and sleep this off. 

"I love you, too." Seonghwa mutters as he drives off, but you're already sound asleep in the seat— head leaning near the window. He's not sure what to feel right now, and he'll probably never bring this up for your sake. He'll never bring it up though the thought will consume him.

But, did you really mean it? All of it?

He's hoping yes, but what is that gonna do for him? You're drunk. You won't remember this. He won't bring it up. Does this mean it's actually time for him to be honest before it's too late? Before San can sweep you off your feet for good and Seonghwa never gets the chance to tell you how much he truly loves you and adores you?

Before he just has to sit back and bury his feelings for good? All because he decided he couldn't tell you?

He'd hate to say you were the one that got away, especially when a whole new door just opened in front of his eyes. It's just a matter of him taking those steps.

Fuck.

Why do things have to be so complicated?

When he gets to your house, Yaya is sound asleep and all the lights are off. Seonghwa makes sure to open the side door and the door to your suite before coming back to his car to quietly unbuckle your seatbelt and carry you to your bed. You whimper and make a small noise when he lifts you, and he gently shushes you back to sleep— reassuring you that he was putting you to bed and that he'd be around if you needed him.

He lays you down, taking off your shoes and setting them aside before grabbing some clean clothes for you to change into later. He knows you'll probably get up in the middle of the night, especially with how drunk you were. He sets a glass of water near your bed side and places the trash can next to you just in case, before shutting all the curtains and changing into comfier clothes himself [the perks of you wearing his clothes home]. He lays down on your couch and throws the extra blanket over his body, taking a moment to scroll through his phone and text the boys before attempting to get some sleep.

You do end up yacking that night, and it's not as slick as you had liked.

You abruptly woke up, suddenly feeling warm and like you needed some sort of release, feet quickly padding to the bathroom that you didn't notice Seonghwa asleep on your couch. You shut the door to the bathroom and instantly vomit into the bowl— all the alcohol and things you've eaten coming right back up. Seonghwa is already awake, though. He heard you shuffling over to the bathroom and knows exactly what's happening behind the door. He lets out a breath while walking to the bathroom, finding you head first into the toilet. He gently gathers your hair and pulls it back, rubbing your back as you let out another round into the bowl before flushing it away.

"Fuck." You say. "Really do regret not eating more." You spit into the bowl before flushing it once more and stand to wash up.

"Figured." Seonghwa smirks with a little chuckle. "You alright?" You nod as you begin to brush your teeth and get loads of mouthwash ready.

"I think I'll be okay now. I feel a bit better even though I'm kinda dizzy still." You look at him through your bathroom mirror. "Were you here the entire time?" Seonghwa yawns and nods as he leans against the door frame.

"Took your little drunk ass home and stayed here just in case."

"How many hours ago did we get home?"

"Probably like 2 or 3."

"How drunk was I?"

"Drunk enough."

"I didn't say stupid shit, did I?" You spit out the mouth wash and start to make your way outside to change into comfier clothes, still feeling disoriented.

"No, but you did manage to be all up on San." You gasp and cover your mouth, Seonghwa laughing as he plops back down onto your couch.

"The fuck, Seonghwa! Don't lie!" You smack him on the shoulder.

"I'm kidding. Kinda. You were dancing with him and Wooyoung, and you wouldn't stop talking about how cute he was." You start changing in the bathroom with the door open, listening to him go on about that.

"Did he hear?"

"No, you were still being a flirt though."

"Fucking christ." You mumble, hand to your forehead at the dull headache now present post-yack session. "No, I'm not thinking about this now." You lay back down and toss the sheets over your body. "Are you sure you're okay to sleep there?"

"Mhm. Not like I haven't before."

"We've also shared a bed without issues." Seonghwa pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. Can he really share a bed with you the same way he used to? Especially after you just blurted out that your heart belonged to him? Whether it was the truth, or for shits and giggles— he can't just share a bed with you and keep his distance.

You fucking blurted out the L word.

You said you loved him; really, really loved him.

"It's okay. You should rest comfortably. You need it more than I do." You hum as you sink into your sheets and let the warmth envelope you. Seonghwa lets out a quiet sigh before returning his attention to his phone, waiting for the drowsiness to hit him again. His groupchat with the boys still seems to be active, so he scrolls through to catch up on the texts:

[hongjoong]: just got home after dropping these punks off

[hongjoong]: can't believe woo and san convinced me to go to another bar

[hongjoong]: hwa did you and y/n make it home okay?

[wooyoung]: did y/n yack her brains out? cause babygirl was drunk drunk

[san]: you guys, speaking of her

[san]: y/n is so fucking cute, i missed her a lot

[san]: she's really not seeing anyone right? because she's so pretty

[san]: maybe she'll finally give me a chance lol

[hongjoong]: you're drunk. sleep it off? lol

[san]: no i really mean it ☹️ she rarely paid attention to me before..

[hongjoong]: what are you talking about, she was always with us lol you guys always hung out??

[hongjoong]: please go to sleep

[wooyoung]: u better ask bodyguard seonghwa first, he might drop kick that ass

[san]: shit hwa i'm sorry, am i overstepping here??

Seonghwa is annoyed and he's irritated, but he won't say it. And he won't take it out on San because it's not his fault. It's not anyone's fault but Seonghwa's own. He chooses to keep this to himself and not do anything about it, so can he really mope around and sulk? You weren't his to claim. It was free game, and if it's gonna be anyone, he would want it to be San. Seonghwa would ultimately support you and San if it ever went down that route. That way, you wouldn't keep hurting yourself over Song Mingi, too.

Despite adoring you and loving you to bits, all he wants is for you to be genuinely happy. That's the most important thing here.

[seonghwa]: don't listen to wooyoung's dumbass, you don't needa tell me or ask me anything. y/n is her own person

[seonghwa]: and yeah joong we're fine

[seonghwa]: she did throw up but shes asleep now

[seonghwa]: i'm gonna take my exit, tired as hell

He sets his phone aside, turning inwards on the couch to try and catch some shut-eye. Though, he feels like at this point, he's probably not gonna have the best rest. He manages to fall asleep for the next couple of hours, tossing and turning every now and then until he finally decides to just call it quits and start his day. He washes up and tries to make himself look a little more presentable after the long night of tossing and turning. He folds the blankets and sets them aside, happy to see that you're still sound asleep deep under your covers. He grabs his keys and phone, deciding to make a run for some pho to bring back and share with you.

"Seonghwa." Yaya says as she waters her flowers in the garden. "You're here." She smiles.

"Mhm." He gestures towards your suite. "Brought her home after we all went out last night for San."

"Oh, that handsome boy. I'm so happy to hear he's back home." She stands and places her hand on her hip. "Was she okay?"

"Yeah, just drank quite a bit. She's okay though. Promise." Seonghwa smiles sweetly. "I'm gonna grab us some food before she wakes up."

"You're the sweetest boy I know." She cups his cheek.

"Do you need anything while I'm out, Yaya?" He asks as he's about to head out of the backyard's side door.

"No, Soyeon, Junseo and Charli are coming over soon. You're gonna be here, right? Charli would be so sad if she missed you."

"Yeah, I'll be here." He chuckles. "Be back." 

With that, Seonghwa heads off to the small Vietnamese restaurant that you, your family and his family have come to love. It's a bit of a drive from your place, but he doesn't mind. The restaurant is owned by a lovely middle-aged couple who has seen you and Seonghwa grow since your high school years. When Seonghwa calls, they know his voice— immediately starting on his order before he could say anything and asking for him to swing by as soon as possible so they can see him.

So, that's what he does.

He sees them as soon as possible, walking into the store with a huge smile on his face while Mr. and Mrs. Dao happily wave him over with a huge bag of food nearby on the counter. He stands near the counter to engage in small talk for a bit, giving them cash with extra tip for all the good food they've packed for him [and you].

"Where is our girl?" Mrs. Dao asks, tying the knot securely on the bag.

"Asleep and hungover." She laughs, handing the bag over. "Gotta make sure she gets some food in her system."

"That's sweet of you." She smiles at him. 

"How's your family? How's Y/N and hers?" Mr. Dao asks him, wiping his hand on his apron.

"They're all good. I'll tell them you guys said hello." They nod.

"I packed some spring rolls and extra peanut sauce in there. I know those are her favorite." Mrs. Dao whispers.

"Thank you." Seonghwa winks before waving one last time and walking out of the door. 

As promised, when he arrives, Soyeon, Junseo and Charli are over. Seonghwa steps out of his car with the bag of food, a screaming Charli running towards him from down the hallway. She barrels through her own mom and dad to get to him quickly, with Seonghwa having to set the bag on the island counter down to appropriately welcome her into his arms and swing her around.

"Uncle Hwa! Uncle Hwa!" She screams repeatedly.

"Charli, please. You don't have to scream." Soyeon chuckles a bit.

"Chacha." Seonghwa taps the tip of her nose before she giggles and snuggles her head into the crook of his neck. "I missed you. Where have you been?" He asks teasingly.

"Preschool! With friends!"

"Aw, you've been making friends? That's good." 

"Hwa, don't let that child lie to you." Soyeon adds. "She's so mean and sassy. There was this kid who wanted to sit next to her and she kicked her foot out so he wouldn't." Junseo laughs.

"Wonder who she gets that attitude from?" Junseo chimes in.

"Can't forget that one time we took her to the park and another kid wanted to play with her, but Chacha held up a stick so they wouldn't get close to her." Seonghwa laughs at Junseo's story before he rubs at Charli's back.

"Aw pea, you can't do that."

"I don't!"

"Mhm. Now she wants to act all sweet and innocent cause you're here." Soyeon crosses her arm and nods at the bag. "Long night for Y/N, I'm assuming."

"You could say that." He continues to hold Charli against his hip while grabbing at the bag. "Hey, let's go wake up Auntie Y/N?" She happily nods as Seonghwa walks off to the suite. As expected, you're still deep under your covers, messy hair the only thing peeking out from under. "Go wake her up, Chacha." He says lowly, putting her down so that she can run to the bed and wake you [rather aggressively].

"Titi Y/N! Titi Y/N! Wakey wakey!" Seonghwa chuckles to himself as he sets the food out on your coffee table, grabbing two bowls for you both. 

"Oh my god, Chacha. Please." You groggily say as she bounces on your bed. "How are you even in here right now?"

"Uncle Hwa! He has food so you need to eat now." You would've thought she was grown with that attitude, you think. You chuckle as you rub at your eyes and sit up, giving your niece a proper bear hug and cuddle.

"Thank you, pea." You give her a kiss on the side of the head before you get up to wash up and get yourself ready for the day. Once you've freshen up, you do feel a bit better, though your tummy still feels unsettled so Seonghwa's timing is perfect.

Like always.

You plop next to him on the floor, while Chacha welcomes herself on his criss-crossed lap. He pushes the container of spring rolls and the huge bowl of pho towards you since he's already had his first helping, eyes glued on your TV even though it's just the Secret Life of Pets [probably by Chacha's choosing].

"Thank you, Hwa." His big eyes dart to you before he gives you a small smile and slurps his noodles.

"Course." He feeds some to Chacha when she politely asks for a bite. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, a bit. This will help majorly." You slurp the soup.

"Chacha! Let's go! I told you we were only stopping by for a bit!" Soyeon calls from outside.

"No, mama! I wanna stay with Auntie Y/N and Uncle Hwa." She whines loudly, on the verge of an actual breakdown as she stands in between you two.

"Hey Chacha, remember? We're gonna spend some time together soon while mama and papa are away." You pull her close to you and brush the hair out of her face. "Just me and you. Uncle Hwa too." She nods, a tear falling from her eye as she pouts. Seonghwa has to look away because he's finding that the more he's fixated on this scene, the more he imagines a future like this with you. 

And he can't do that to himself.

"Okay." She mumbles with the pout still on her face. You continue to brush her hair back and wipe the straggling tears before standing. 

"Say bye to Uncle Hwa." You dust down your clothes as Charli throws her hands around his neck for a tight hug.

"Bye cutiepie." She giggles before taking your hand and meeting her mom and dad outside in the backyard.

"Swear, she's so stuck on Seonghwa." You laugh and hug Junseo.

"Can't blame her." 

"Well, good to know you're alive. And not at Mingi's." You roll your eyes.

"Always ruining the moment. Leave." Soyeon sticks her tongue out and waves.

"I'll call you later to talk more about the trip. Gotta prepare!" She says in an excited tone, one where you can't help but laugh a bit and shake your head.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm charging you double this time." You call out before giving one last wave and heading back into your suite. Seonghwa is still seated on the ground, but he's drinking water and has his bowl pushed aside. "You're not gonna eat more?"

"No, go for it. It's mainly yours. Mrs. Dao gave you spring rolls and extra peanut sauce on the house."

"Aw, I love her. She's so sweet." You take a bite into one. "What're you gonna do today?" He shrugs.

"Probably hang out at Joong's or San's." He looks at you. "Why?"

"Can I come?"

"No?"

"Why not?" You whine playfully, knowing you don't actually wanna join their weird little boy party.

"Because all you're gonna do is flirt with San and we have important business to take care of." You snort and laugh loudly.

"No I'm not! And important business? Like fucking yelling at each other during a game of FIFA?"

"No."

"Right." You roll your eyes. "I'm kidding, I don't wanna join in your sad little no girls allowed party."

"Girls are allowed." He smirks. "Just not you."

"You really are such a dick to me sometimes." He laughs, blocking the pillow from hitting his face.

"What, and you aren't a brat to me?"

"I beg to differ."

"If only you knew." He snorts, pinching your cheek. "I'm just joking, you know I am. You're always welcome to come."

"No, I really don't wanna go. Was just teasing." You finish up your food.

"What're you gonna do then?"

"Work at the restaurant and serve some middle-aged men their beer and food while they ogle at me." You joke and he winces.

"Mmkay well, have fun with that." Seonghwa stands and cleans up his trash before wiping your table down thoroughly. "Make sure to invite me to the wedding or else I'll be pissed."

"You're full of shit, Hwa." He groans when he sees a drop of peanut sauce land onto the surface that he's just cleaned. "Oops."

"I swear to God." He sighs, cleaning it again before shaking his head.

"You love me."

"I beg to differ." He mocks you just as he washes his hands and stretches. "Alright, well I'm out. Get some more rest before you head to the restaurant, you look kinda torn up." He ruffles your hair, causing you to smack his hand away and flip him off.

"Fuck you, get out." He chuckles as he heads out the door and leaves you to your peace.

When Seonghwa gets to his place, he manages to tidy up a bit, shower and throw on some fresh clothes before calling Hongjoong to see what the consensus was for the meeting place. Hongjoong ends up telling him that they're all on their way to San's, giving Seonghwa the green light to head over as well. 

On his way over, he tries to push his thoughts to the back of his mind. He tries his hardest not to overthink, not to focus too much on all the stuff that's happened.

The stuff you said.

He knows it's probably just you being drunk and babbling all this mess, especially now that you're finding interest in San. But as with everyone says, the drunk mind speaks sober thoughts. 

Was there some kind of truth to it?

Did you really see him that way at some point?

Is there a part of you that still feels that way?

"What's wrong with you?" Seonghwa looks at Wooyoung in slight disgust as he steps aside and lets him in. 

"Nothing. Just didn't wanna see you first."

"You're an asshole." Wooyoung laughs. "How does Y/N deal with you? She's so sweet and fun, everything you're not—" Hwa smacks him upside the head. "Ow, see!" Wooyoung continues to complain.

"Speaking of her, how's Y/N?" San eagerly asks as he sits next to Hongjoong on the couch, continuing his journey on Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth.

"All of a sudden." Hongjoong snorts.

"She's good. Recovering from her night, I guess. She's going to work soon."

"Mm. Glad she survived."

"What have you guys been up to?" Seonghwa plops onto the beanbag and scrolls through his phone, finally letting out a breath of relief after his night. At least he could relax and chill out here.

"Just hanging out. Trying to figure out what to eat." Hongjoong looks at him. "You eat already?"

"Yeah, I went to grab some pho for Y/N."

"Okay, thanks for the invite."

"You can take care of yourself." Seonghwa snaps back at Wooyoung, making him mock Hwa in return.

"Aye, are you guys down to head to the mall in a bit? We can just grab food there." San asks, eyes still focused on the TV.

"Why do you need to go to the mall?"

"I just wanna buy some new clothes."

"For what?" Hongjoong chuckles. 

"Listen, I haven't been around for awhile, okay? I started cleaning out a few things from my closet for donations. Plus, I haven't treated myself in a long time cause I've been so focused on the program and what not."

"Mm okay, so what's the real reason?" Wooyoung asks, chomping onto a banana. Seonghwa glances at San from his seat, taking note of how his cheeks and ears turn red and how he's suddenly getting shy. Nervous, even.

And he's not sure how to feel. He has a feeling he might know exactly where this is going, and he's hoping he's wrong. Maybe overthinking. Jumping to conclusions.

"I definitely wanna take Y/N to dinner and catch up with her. See where this goes.." San trails off, causing Seonghwa to pause mid-text— trying his very hardest not to make it too entirely obvious that his heart has dropped from the statement, equally sad and annoyed by the entire situation [for his own selfish reasons].

Fuck.

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here and I seen an ask as I was scrolling that made me think. One question was why would Luke continue to see Ant if she was involved with pap gate? And another question was why would he continue to date ant it he knew it was hurting nic? So let's tackle the first one. My question to you is do you automatically think the worst of the people in your life? Do you automatically have bad things happens and assume it's someone attached to you? I personally don't. I think to figure out who was behind pap gate would be difficult and he might have just assumed they followed him from the after party to the hotel. He might not have even put two and two together. We know the girl been baiting the fans but an outsider would just think she taking pictures and posting them. So why would Luke think any type of different? To him she wasn't nasty. She I'm sure showed all her best qualities to him. Remember even though they been "seeing" each other for a year he's been gone for most of that. So did he really know her? No how can he when he spent so much time touring, and even when he was back I'm sure he was exhausted in between countries. So yes there is a possibly he didn't put two and two together. We still don't know who called them we still have just theories and I'm sure he's not gonna ask backgrid who called. Actually why would he even go that route mentally and assume it was his people? I'm sure that thought didn't come in his head till it became a pattern which was Italy. Now why would he continue dating Ant if Nic was hurting? Now this one made me pause a bit. Why would he? then it dawned on me who to even say they had that discussion on how they feel about each other. How would he know how she felt unless she told him? I personally am a people pleaser and honestly at times it sucks. I always put myself last. So it goes to stand if Nic knew he was seeing her then why would she get in the way of his relationship? She would never be the reason they broke up. Men naturally are able to communicate feelings as good as woman are. They are naturally logical thinkers. They react to issues using logic where as woman react using feelings. So Nic did why I would have done thrown herself into work and just have some fun try not to dwell on something you can't change. I seen an article that spoke on she went from the Tour to straight to filming. She didn't have to dwell in the Luke stuff cuz she kept herself busy. Now personally I think they have talked since then. I think it was after Italy. Who knows if they spoken feelings? But i do think things are moving in the right direction. Hey maybe this JD photos got a certain person moving.

💯

Hard to know EXACTLY what's been going on BTS with L/N since the beginning of the year. I personally think they have seriously been working on their romantic relationship since the Italy stop of the WT. I think papgate threw a wrench in everything though and things were definitely not all rainbows and sunshine between L/N this summer. I think they took some space this summer to figure out there stuff, and there was some type of positive shift between them after the Italy bday trip. I also personally think things have been kind of off and on between L/N for a while, and they have known each other so long, that if they can get on the same page, I think things will get serious pretty quickly. And I have this theory (based on everything I've seen between them this year and PARTICULARLY N's chaos week), that they have finally gotten on the same page 😉

I am also going to say this. I think it speaks VOLUMES what L/N have on their public grid of each other (and the other people in their lives they DON'T choose to put on their grid). Especially N (who's a lot more SM savy than L). I've said it before, and I'll say it again. L (not Colin) is ALL OVER N'S GRID 🤔

[hell-isnt-deep-enough-for-me]

Hey, hope its ok that I'll send a request in. I'm at the moment such a simp for started valleys Sam, if you feel comfortable with it I would love some nsfw stuff. Maybe Sam and female/gender neutral reader playing some video's and everytime someone loses they have to take one piece of clothes of and at some point it just gets spicy 🌶

Rainbow Road

Sam x F!Reader

Warnings: hand jobs, blow jobs, dirty thoughts, the use of pretty boy and good boy

~~~

It felt great to be able to hang out with friends instead of being in the blistering heat. This summer's weather is probably the hottest it's been since you moved here. So the thought of being in an air-conditioned house with your friends and crush was terrific.

Everyone had been busy the entire week, so this was the first time everyone got to hang out. You agreed to meet at Sam’s house at noon when you were done with your farm chores. You wouldn’t admit it, but you took a quick shower and booked it to Sam’s house as soon as you were done. You were early, sure, but that meant you got to spend alone time with your crush. You even put on clothes that you thought made you look more appealing yet not over/underdressed for a simple gaming day with friends. You knocked on his door and waited.

“Well, aren’t you early?” Was the first words out of his mouth when you showed up earlier than everyone else. About an hour early even. Although, Sam would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that you showed up earlier than everyone else. Being alone for the next hour in his room? It was like straight out of his dreams. Of course, in those dreams, you weren’t wearing clothes. 

“I figured I might as well practice so I don’t lose to Abby in CoD again.” Sam let you in, smiling in your direction before closing the door behind you. You removed your shoes before following him to his room without a word. 

“Wow, your room is clean. Did you have a girl come over that you wanted to impress?” You laugh and elbow him gently. A small part of your hoped it was because you were coming over, but in reality, it was probably easier to hang out with everyone that way.

“What?! Pfft, no!” Sam’s face went red as he tried to look everywhere but at you.

“Oh my gosh, you did! I can see it in your eyes! Your face is totally giving you away!”

“Maybe I wanted to clean my room for once!”

“Uh-huh, sure.” You laughed at him before flopping down on his bed. It just looked so comfortable, and your body was so sore from going all over the farm, grabbing crops, and feeding the animals.

The way your body laid across his bed made his heart beat in his ears. Pictures started forming in his mind on how you’d look if you lay beneath him with lustful eyes. Your hands would slither under his shirt, and your soft touch would have him shivering. Of how you could unbutton his jeans and slowly move towards the base of his cock, your fingers lightly touching it, making his hips buck just to feel more.

“Sam, you okay? You're staring at the wall.” Your voice brought him back to earth as you looked at him. The slight concern on your face had his heart fluttering.

“Sorry, I zoned out. Uh, do you wanna play a game while we wait?”

“Sure, I can kick your ass for a confidence boost against Abby.”

“Oh, is that so?” Getting up from his bed, he saw you walk up with a wide grin.

“It is, and just to prove how confident I really am, I’ll take off a piece of clothing in shame for every time I lose. But if you lose, you must remove a piece of clothing.” Your heart was beating rapidly as you tried to shoot your shot. It wasn’t a standard way people did it, but you never know if you don’t try. The worst he could do is say no.

“Guess you're gonna be naked when Abby and Seb appear 'cause I'm going to win.” With red cheeks and a glint in his eyes, Sam turned on his tv and started up the new switch he had saved up for.

“I say Mario Kart. My house, my choice.” Sam smirked as he sat in front of the TV before tossing you your own controller. You caught it and then sat next to him. A little closer than a friend would. You could feel his body heat and hear a gulp from the man beside you before he turned on the game. However, Sam didn’t know that you were a god at Mario Kart. You never played with any of them, but it was your favorite game to play when you were alone. Knowing that this would be a piece of cake. You wanted to take him by surprise, so you’ll let him win the first one to get his ego boosted before you crush it.

—

“Haha! How’s it feel to lose farmer?” Sam’s smug voice seemed to bounce off the walls as you rolled your eyes.

“Great, I was hot anyways.” Putting down your controller, you grab the helm of your shirt. Listing your arms up, you pull off the fabric before putting it next to you. Usually, it would have been fine since you’d wear a bra, but today was just so hot…so you didn’t.

“What, never seen tits before, Sam?” Your teasing went straight to his cock as he saw your exposed breasts. God, he wishes he could just hold them in his hands and kiss them. Suck on your exposed nipple, leaving them covered in saliva as he ate up your moans. The sounds you’d make echoed in his head as he felt his cock aching. He imagined how soft they’d be if they surrounded his cock. 

“Press play Sam. I don’t want to be the only shirtless one here.” Your voice broke his fantasy, and he pressed play. He focused hard as he tried to ignore the question if you wore panties under your shorts since you didn’t wear a bra. The thought had him biting his lip.

“Better pay attention, Sam, you're in 12th.” Letting out a curse, he desperately tried to fix his place, but it was too late. He could feel your smug grin as you looked at him. His cheeks felt like fire as he took off his jacket. The AC making him shiver.

“Can’t wait to win.” Your mischievous smile had his mind racing.

—

“Rainbow Road Sam, better hope you win. Your boxers can’t save you now.” You only took off your shirt, as here he was, almost naked. He wished he knew that you were perfect at the game. You kicked his ass and didn’t even blink, it seemed like. You definitely let him win the first one, which crushed his ego. Not that he’ll admit it.

“Quit falling off, Sam. It’s almost like you WANT to lose.” He’s never been more focused on anything in his entire life than right now. He couldn’t lose! You’d see just how much you turned him on. He’s tried hiding it ever since he lost his pants, but nothing he did helped it down. Maybe the idea of being so exposed in front of you turned him on more? Having you see what you do to him. How his cock aches at the thought of your running your pretty hand up and down his cock. The way your eyes would look at him with lust as you’d move faster with every moan that escaped his lips. He struggled against the urge to buck his hips up against your imaginary hand. He could feel his heart thump in his chest when he heard the winner of the race.

“Peach wins!” He saw you throw your hands up and shout in victory.

“Princess Peach, I knew you wouldn’t let me down!” You turn your head towards him with a look as you stare him up and down.

“You know what that means, Sam.” Swallowing the lump in his throat, he grabbed his boxers before slipping them off completely. He turned his face away in embarrassment as his hard cock stood proudly in front of you.

“Well, since I won, I believe I get to tell you what to do, hmm? I mean, it’s only fair.” Sam’s eyes couldn’t meet yours as his toes curled at the implication.

“Right, Sam?” He could feel your tits pressed against his back as you spoke softly into his ear. He didn’t even hear you move.

“Okay…” He didn’t need to look at you to know you were smiling. He let out a gasp when your lips started kissing his neck. Soft ones before you’d nibble on the sensitive spots that had him slip out little moans. Your fingers moved up his back before moving to rub his chest. It felt too ghostly at the lingering touches.

“Why don’t you be a good boy for me and start pumping your begging cock? I wanna see my pretty boy in bliss.” Yes, he’ll be your good boy. He wants to be your pretty boy.

Grabbing his cock, already leaking with pre, he slowly moved his hand up and down, imagining it was yours. The feeling of you sucking on his neck had him moving faster. He bit his lip as he saw your hair in his peripheral vision.

You could feel the heat grow between your legs as you watched him pick up his pace. Licking your lips, you move your hands around his chest. Running over his nipples and slightly tugging on them, making him let out a gasp before you moved your hands farther down. Teasingly slow, you moved your hand near the base of his cock. A louder gasp could be heard.

“You want help pretty boy?” A wicked grin plastered your face when he nodded gently. That wasn’t good enough, though. You wanted words.

“Come on, use your words.” Letting out a whine and shutting his eyes, you caught a breathy yes. Knowing it was the best you were gonna get, you started your endeavors. 

You replaced his hand with yours, and a moan fell from his lips. Such a cute one that you wanted more. Picking up the pace quickly, your hand glided up and down his cock, leaving him to buck up his hips. Quiet moans and whines escaped his mouth as his toes curled when you started to whisper praises in his ear.

God, your hand felt so much better than he ever thought it would. The way you ran your finger ran over his slit had him shaking. If your hand felt this good, how would your mouth or even cunt feel like? The thought had his stomach tightened as the urge to cum started approaching quickly. His moans got louder as his legs started shaking.

“Aw, pretty boy about to cum? Do you deserve to?”

“Yes! Please! I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?” the way your voice seemed so sinister, but he didn’t care. He just needed to cum.

“Anything! Please!”

“Okay. Only cause you’ve been such a good boy for me.” Such words had him let out a loud moan as his cum shot from his cock, covering your hand and his tummy. You grab your phone quickly from your back pocket before snapping a picture of his blissed-out face. All red and too cute to not take a picture. Plus, when you were alone, it’d be the perfect material.

“What a good boy.” Kissing his cheek, you moved from behind to in front of him. You placed yourself in between his legs and looked up at him with lustful eyes. A good boy deserves a treat, right?

Sam saw you lowering your head before giving his tip a small kitten lick, having him whine at the new sensation. Your warm tongue against his overstimulated cock had his body shaking.

Biting his lips, he laid back when he felt you place your lips around the tip of his cock. The feeling was something he’d never forget as he swore it felt like he was in heaven. His crush sucking on his cock was a dream come true. 

Such a sensitive boy. The look of his legs shaking and him digging his fingers onto the hardwood floor made you want to see how he’d react if you took him all. 

A loud moan escaped Sam’s lips as his whole cock was enveloped in your mouth. The warm heat of your mouth almost had him cumming instantly. The way your tongue ran against the underside of his cock had him try to reach down to grab your hair, only to be slapped away, and you gave him a dirty look. Not wanting it to end, He just tried to hold onto the wooden floor to stabilize himself.

His reactions were so cute, the way whines and moans spewed from his lips as he tried bucking his hips into your mouth, only for you to slam them back down. He let out a whimper before biting his lip. He’s been such a naughty boy. Naughty boys don’t get treats.

KNOCK KNOCK

The sound of his front door knocking had you taking out his cock from your mouth with a smile. Sam let out a loud whine at the loss of warmth.

“Please, please, please don’t stop, so close…” His cries made the heat in between your legs grow hotter. 

“Our friends are here. It would be rude to keep them waiting.” You sat up and grabbed your shirt before leaning over Sam’s body, the feeling of his cock pressing against your clothed tummy.

“Now, better dress up. Wouldn’t want our friends to see how much of a slut you are.” The way you talked to him had his eyes rolling before he let out a loud moan, and he felt a huge relief wash over him as he cummed so hard that he felt like he had lost his breath.

“You got it all over my shirt! Your lucky our friends are here to save you, but I won’t be forgiving next time.” You stood up and tried your best to wipe off your cum stained short before leaving Sam lying on his bedroom floor, trying to regain his breath and put on his discarded clothes. With your words still echoing in his head.

“Next time.”

[satureja13]

The next day. It finally stopped to rain and we got rewarded with a double rainbow! The Boys spent the rest of the day before inside, learning and doing their homework. Divided in two groups, to keep Kiyoshi away from Jack. And Vlad and Jeb thought I'd be better to keep their distance to Jack too, until they could ask Noxee what this strange attraction towards him means.

Vlad and Jeb are training outside. Keeping an eye on Kiyoshi, who is far, far away again. They are so cute. Fighting like baby cats ^^' Maybe Vlad is going easy on Jeb, who just had his first fight in their last lesson :3

Saiwa, Ji Ho and Jack went down to the dungeons, to the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom. Training Ji Ho, who missed their first lesson. The majority of the poisonous arrows are still flying in Jack's direction ö.Ö' (They might still be under the command of Ms Coombes ^^') Jack wonders what this lightning stroke might have done to him. He's sure the weird attraction, Vlad, Jeb (and Kiyoshi) feel towards him, has to do with this accident. And Ji Ho got overwhelmed by his feelings. He's so angry! He never felt so angry before. There had been lots of ocassions in his life that would have really deserved the anger he feels now. But his feelings had been buried, so nothing had ever hit him this hard. He's angry, jealous, upset, sad... - that Vlad feels attracted to Jack! And he even knows how silly this is. But he can't help it. It fell over him like a fishernet with lead weights, pinning him impotent to the sea bed - at the mercy of his feelings. Sure, he could take a sip of Noxee's potion to get rid of these feelings, but he decided to endure them. Even the bad ones. All his feelings are a part of him now. And he'd missed them for so long. So he's channeling his frustration into the punching bag, not even noticing an arrow sticking in his arm...

Sai is reading out loud again from their school books for the others. Also dodging the arrows.

Back at the Duelling Grounds, Vlad and Jeb are still training. Jack and Jeb are the physically strongest of all of them, but Vlad, with his vampiric powers, is not to be underestimated. Plus, he has more fighting experience than Jeb. Jeb is doing surprisingly well, though...

... until they heard someone approching. It's Greg! They'd all been hoping Noxee would come back so they could discuss Jack's strange attraction on them and, of course, to bring them some good news about Jack and Kiyoshi's mateship... Jeb got distracted and Vlad was able to put him to the ground.

Greg: "Good to see you improved. So, how is he doing?" Jeb really hoped to talk to Noxee about this. Jack made it very clear he doesn't want Greg to know. Greg is staring at him with his piercing orange eyes and Jeb doesn't know what to say: "Oh - uhm. So Jack..." Greg: "Not Jack! Kiyoshi." (Greg and Kiyoshi seem to have a surprisingly strong bond...) Vlad decided to redeem poor Jeb: "Still unaltered, I fear."

They called up the others and met in the Conference Hall. And finally Greg spilled the good news! Jack and Kiyoshi are 'allowed' to be, according to Ms Coombes, mates, just mates or whatever! Yay! They must have weighed the advantages of Jack helping Kiyoshi rooting in the here and now again over Jack's bad influence on him o.o

But the joy was only short-lived. Greg immediately hopped to the next topic. Greg: "You have something to tell me?" Jack: "No!?"

Greg: "Did you really think you could keep this from me?" Omg! Of course Greg would sense that something is weird! Does he really know Jeb, Vlad and probably Kiyoshi (Jack isn't really convinced of that, since Kiyoshi is a diety now) feel attracted to him? How embarrassing! Jack just wants to hide somewhere!

Jack: "I'm not going to have a discussion about this with you." Greg: "Fine. I'll call Stefan. Meet him at the beach so you don't further stir the others. Get this solved!" Jack: "Yes, Sir." TMI: After Greg rescued baby Jack from the Lab, he brought him to 'Uncle' Stefan, a close friend, where Jack grew up.

Oh, how can I try to explain? 'Cause when I do he turns away again It's always been the same, same old story From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away I know I have to go

All the times that I've cried Keepin' all the things I knew inside It's hard but it's harder to ignore it If they were right I'd agree But it's them they know, not me Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away I know I have to go

Cat Stevens - Father and Son

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28

[bedoballoons]

just came here to say that I love the way you write lyney, that guy is fighting heizou for the 👑 of 'king of rizz' 🗿🌺 so pls, could you do a lyney x reader (He has a crush on the reader but still has to confess) where the reader has a friend who constantly flirts with them the same way lyney does, so when they meet each other it just turns into a rap battle between them of who has the best pick up lines, but the reader it's just so oblivious that doesn't understand what's going on 💀 idk it just came to my mind and I found it funny

the reader can be any gender and happy ending for poor boy lyney

SPOILER OF THE ARCHON QUEST 4.1!!!

after seeing all the stress he went through with Lynette and Freminet in the Fortress of Meropide and by the Wolverine man who's name i don't remember atm I just want something funny idk I was sad through all the quest by how bad things where going, especially for him. Give my man a break 🗿🌺

Thank you!! I have been waiting to write this cause it sounds so funny, love a good rizz battle!! I hope you enjoy and don't worry, I'll make sure Lyney gets a happy ending with the reader!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Rizz it up~༺}

CW: Gn reader who's a little dense, flirting battles, very slight jealousy on Lyneys part, confessions and fluff at the end! Lyney calls the reader mon amour!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney winked at you, a small smirk playing on his lips as he held out a rainbow rose between his fingers, trying desperately to catch your attention, but...alas he wasn't the only one. On the other side of you was a friend of yours, gently taking your hand in his and spinning you away from the magician, while you looked at him like he might actually be crazy.

"What's...going on with you two?"

Lyney chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck after he shot a quick glare in your friends directions, "Nothing mon amour,... just having a little fun is all. I must say though, it's quite hard for me to concentrate with you around, your beauty is simply overwhelming my ability to pay attention to anything else. Tell me, how does someone come to look like a angel?~"

You raised a eyebrow at his question, not really knowing how to answer until you were pulled away from the conversation by your friend who softly touched your cheek, "Please magician boy, even angels can't compare to you, they'd weep in the mirrors if they even caught sight of your goregous smile~" You were only growing more confused with each sentence and the constant switching of who you were suddenly near was starting to make you dizzy, "Okay maybe we-"

"Oh mon amour, you're smile isn't the only goregous thing though. Personally your laugh is one of my favourite things about you, the sweet sound of it could cure a rainy day in seconds and your eyes, when I look into them I swear I can see the stars.~" Lyney interrupted you, sneaking his arm around your waist and dipping you almost to the ground, face mere inches away from yours, "L-Lyney?"

His heart skipped a beat when he realized the position he had gotten himself into, your perfect body in his arms and your lips so close to his he could almost feel them, if he didn't confess now he'd never find a more perfect moment again. "....may I kiss you?" The question caught you by surprise, your cheeks going red as you stared up at him, was that what this was all about? Had he planned it just so he could tell you his feelings?

In reality it wasn't planned in the slightest, but the thought of such a romantic gesture and the way butterflies gathered in your stomach from the way he was holding you, the answer was simply, "You may.." With your permission he closed the gap, giving you a loving kiss that pulled the two of you even closer together, both of you melting into it so naturally.

Meanwhile your friend had walked away, considered their job well done and silently wishing you two the best.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Switching gears since I recently refamiliarized myself with your character list...any general romantic HCs for Deadpool?

"Merc with the Mouth romance HCs" Deadpool x reader

Hey I've haven't gotten to do Deadpool yet! This is fun! I'll do sfw and nsfw.

Tw: Suggestive and smut, SA mention

Sfw:

His dates are not always Good or Safe but they are always Memorable. Someone is trying to kill him every other week. Either because he pissed them or ruined their plans. You'll be fine, just don't be shocked when he gets his hand blown off and kills several men when you were just trying to have a nice night out. You can bond while it grows back.

If you ever needed someone to enable your nerdy habits, look no further. He maims people who spoil the newest book, he'll sit through hours and hours of marathons, and he thinks it's very sexy that you know fun facts and behind the scenes details. Now put on Lord of the Rings and make out with him during the Gollum scenes.

So many dumb emoji texts. Like a huge string of emojis with all the different hearts in different color formations- rainbows, sexuality flags that match what yours might be. And sweat drops. And... cactus emoji? It definitely means something and it's meant to be affectionate, just roll with it.

He's that guy who takes you to your favorite restaurant just because he can. There's nothing special going on. He just wants to spoil you and really loves seeing you smile. Then a massage for you and maybe a bubble bath-

The stupid antics he will get to so you'll to laugh. Particularly if you're having a bad day, he will get downright slapstick if it will bring you a little bit of joy. Someone could argue it's a personality fault where he feels he has to be entertaining to have value to you, but maybe right now isn't the time to unpack that.

Nsfw:

Down for pretty much anything. Seriously. Tie him up, put him in a dress, peg him sideways- He'll try anything at least twice to see if he likes it.

the only thing that is an absolute no for him is CNC (consensual non-consent) or anything in that vein because of being a canonical SA survivor. I know I don't really write for that anyways, but I think it bears mentioning given his character and past.

Man has little to no shame so if you're not into public space fucking, you should let him know early on. He will get it on in the alleyway behind the taco shack. Tacos just get him feeling frisky sometimes, you understand.

The very definition of a switch. His playful nature allows him to slip to a submissive role easily even if people who don't know him take any of his comments seriously. He's dead-ass, use him like a toy and tell him how breedable he is if you're into that <3 He's also more than willing to take the reins and top or be in a dominant role if that's your preference. If you're also a switch you guys can just take turns depending on the move.

he's incredibly self-conscious in serious, intimate moments about his body. Particularly the first time. Okay, this is him, scarred up and looking like a fucked up Freddy Krueger. You sure you still want... this? He can put his clothes back on and he can do stuff to just you if you'd rather. Or he can turn the lights off... or...

It's so much easier to joke around than have to acknowledge he really looks like this. Once you've been together a minute, though, he'll realize you really do love his sexy ass.

[msnanu]

Life Twist 12 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 10.2k+

⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😌 - I'm so sorry for delaying this for such a long time, this past month has not been easy for me. When I was getting back into writing my beautiful furry friend decided to cross the rainbow. It took a while for me to feel better honestly. For now this will be the last chapter of Life Twist. I might continue it or not, I'm open to write some drabbles for this couple if requested. I loved writing the story of this two lovebirds and I hope you loved it as much as I did 💜 As always, don't hesitate on leaving your thoughts on the story, it makes my heart warm everytime I read your comments. FYI - I'll be working on new ff's! Love u guys and thank u for the love you gave to this story! 🥰 

"So, you're saying he was totally unfazed about Minho?" says Aria sounding genuinely surprised while Emma added "Like, you did not even sense an ounce of jealousy coming from him?".

The three of you were in a corner of Taehyung's apartment talking or more like whispering about your little encounter earlier today with Minho and JK at the gym's exit. The rest of your friends - including Jungkook - were just a few meters away from you so you couldn’t be too loud with your conversation.

You shook your head and continued "I don't know how to describe it. I’m telling you, he was like another person, not the Jungkook I dated. I mean, for God's sake!" you exclaim shouting in a whisper to your two friends "Last time he saw Minho he kept glaring the shit out of him and now the two of them were acting as if they were friends!"

"Well, I'll be damn. I didn't think he could change this much in four months. Seems like therapy is doing its job" added Aria while taking a sip of her gin tonic.

"And how do you feel about all of this?" said Emma looking at you curiously.

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. "Ugh. That's the thing. I don't know. Every time I see him, I want to jump right on him" you say while watching Jungkook talking to Yoongi on the other side of the room and the girls giggle at your honesty.

"I just-" you stop yourself thinking how to voice out your thoughts correctly "There's a part of me that is full of fear. We are in a good place now, I mean... look we are in the same room, we are not pulling each other’s head off and everything's okay"

"But?" 

"But I'm still in love with him, so madly in love that it drives me crazy. I'm so fucking whipped!" you exclaim while sighing and rubbing your temples.

Both of your friends look at you with worried faces, you're clearly too stressed with the whole situation.

"You know I wasn't rooting for you to fix things up with Jungkook in the first place" starts Aria without any filter as usual.

Auch. That was harsh. But you know Aria means well and she's the type to give tough love.

"But that was Jungkook from four months ago, the guy that couldn't even stand to see someone looking at you. This Jungkook-" she says moving her head in his direction "The one that is doing therapy - even though we know he never was fond of it - in a way it feels like he's a whole new person. He is still the same goofy Jungkook we all knew but I think everything that happened with you made him more mature and maybe - I'm saying just maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to give him another chance" she finishes giving you a sweet smile.

"I can't believe I'm hearing that coming out from your mouth, Aria" said Emma with an amusing tone.

Aria loves Jungkook like a little brother but since you two broke up, she sided with you. There wasn't any bad blood between them at all, but she made it clear that she wasn't happy with how Jungkook had treated you.

You were frowning for a while and seeing that you were awfully silent, Aria's comforting voice caught once again your attention "At the end, it's always gonna be your decision, Y/N. And whatever you decide, it's gonna be okay, we'll be here for you."

"I just don't want to feel any regret, I don't want to make the same mistakes again and again" you mumbled, while nibbling on your bottom lip "What would you do, guys?"

"It's too personal, sweetie. But if you want my opinion, if I were in the same position with Hobi, I would give him one more chance."

"I would too,” said Emma.

It's not like you don't want to give it another go with Jungkook. But it would be your very first time coming back with an ex-boyfriend and the thought of getting back with him and the possibility of your heart breaking up again, terrifies you. Even though, deep down, you know your heart is still with him, you never retrieved it. How could you? You never loved someone as much as you loved him, as you still love him.

And before the wheels in your head starts to work and roll, Aria's voice speaks up again. “That doesn't mean you have to give him a chance tho" she says running her arm around your shoulder and squeezing you a little bit "Maybe you need some more time for yourself, and things might clear up for you on its own"

"Or maybe you just need to go with the flow and relax a bit, don't stress that much overthinking everything,” said Emma.

"That's for sure, you need to calm down, sweetie" added Aria.

"Yeah, I think you're right... I should relax and go with the flow" you repeat - as if it was an easy task for you to do.

And that's the last thing they advised you before you moved on talking about Emma and Joey's honeymoon since they were going soon on a trip to the Maldives.

"Ahhh, Jungkook-ah, stop with the puppy eyes, you're gonna give me a headache" Yoongi teases the youngest, wiggling his brows. Jungkook rolls his eyes although a soft grin spreads on his lips, clearly knowing he got caught staring at you. There's no point on denying it. He doesn't want to be creepy, but you look so beautiful, you always do and it's getting harder for him not to drool over you every time you're near him.

"I can't help it, hyung"

"Did you two talked again about... you know, your relationship?"

"No. We talk about anything but that" the maknae simply responds with a soft smile plastered on his face, reminiscing every single conversation he shared with you these last few days. Just talking with you makes everything better.

"And you're... fine with that?" he asks slowly, sounding confused and surprised at how calmed Jungkook is acting about you and your relationship.

Jungkook gives him a slow nod as he says, "I'm happy of being part of her life again, hyung."

It's obvious that he wants to be with you. But after being apart from you for two months when you broke up and not being able to talk or even see you, he knows that he has to appreciate that you're back in his life, even if it's not in the way he's yearning. If he wants to get you back, he knows he'll have to be patient.

"You know, I bought her a ring before we broke up" suddenly Jungkook confesses, sounding almost proud of himself which catches Yoongi off guard and JK sees it by the way Yoongi's lips part.

"A ring, like- an actual engagement ring?!" he asks right away.

Jungkook nods, pursing his lips in a deep thought before saying "Yes, I was gonna propose in our first anniversary but then all hell broke loose and there went my plans with it" 

"Wow. I didn't expect that."

Yoongi was actually the first person to know this. Neither of his other hyungs knew anything about the ring, not even Jin or Jimin. It's the first time he feels like he can properly talk about it without crying his eyes out. And even though Yoongi is not the most open person in terms of feelings, Jungkook always felt comfortable voicing out his thoughts with him.

"Maybe it was for the best, even if I had to go through an unbearable pain." says JK while he sees Yoongi frowning "Maybe I needed to go through all of that to become a better person, not just for her, but for me as well. She deserves the best version of me. I just wish I hadn't made her suffer in that process."

Yoongi stares in silent at Jungkook with a sense of proud and the youngest frowns while saying "What?" 

"Nothing. It's just...you are all grown up now" says Yoongi pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jungkook snorts finding very amusing Yoongi's reaction. "Hyung, every time I see you, you say that same thing."

"Because it's true! You've grown up so much!" he exclaims, smiling as Jungkook grins taking a sip of the glass of wine in his hand "Well, at least you already have the ring for whoever you'll end up with."

Yoongi sees JK gulping while he fights that lump that is stuck in his throat "That ring belongs to her, hyung. I know it'll end up on her finger sooner or later" he says, wanting to sound as hopeful as possible.

"You sound confident, Jungkookie."

"I-...I just know we'll end up together somehow, I have that feeling, you know?" he says softly, taking another gulp of his glass of wine.

Yoongi nods, listening to JK's words carefully before asking "And you'll wait for her no matter what?"

"Always. She's worth it." Jungkook responds quickly, without a single ounce of doubt.

A few minutes later you were on Taehyung's big balcony, watching the stars illuminating the beautiful night sky. After gulping down what would be your second glass of wine, you were feeling warmer and relaxed. You could hear your friends' voices from inside, hearing Jimin and Yoongi's all-time bickering made you smile without even realizing.

"How was your physical therapy session, noona? Everything okay?" a soft and well-known voice resounds from behind pulling you out of your little world.

You turn around, your heart fluttering and your face feeling hot at the sight of your ex-boyfriend smiling at you. A thousand butterflies swirling inside your stomach.

Fuck. I love you I love you I love you - your mind is repeating non-stop. How is it even possible that such a gorgeous human being exists?

You purse your lips, trying to play it cool. "It was good" you respond after a while "It was actually the last session today, so I guess my hand is finally recovered." 

"Oh! Really?" says Jungkook with an enthusiastic tone "Let me see how it looks."

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment. He gets closer to you, taking your hand in his and looking at it, as if he was some kind of doctor and for some reason it makes you giggle. He looks down on you and suddenly you stare wide-eyed at him because of the proximity of your bodies. Jungkook notices how nervous you seem to be, he knows that look on you, he tries to hide his amusement but fails miserably when you see a little twitch on his lips.

And you can't stop looking at his lips. You are mentally screaming, throwing hands at yourself thinking how fucking weak you are when it comes to this man in front of you.

"I missed seeing that look on your face."

"Wha-What look?" you stutter a little bit. 

Fuck. Keep it together, Y/N

"The one that you had every time you were checking me out" he shamelessly says.

You stumble back a little bit as he tries to hold back a laugh. He always finds you adorable when you get flustered.

"You know, sometimes you're too cocky" you say trying to sound as unaffected as possible even though you know you're failing miserably.

"Maybe, but I also know you, Y/N. And I'm sure you were thirsting over me" he giggles before taking a step closer to you and making you freeze in your spot, then he leans in and whispers at your ear “And just to be clear, if it were for me, I would be kissing you since the moment you set a foot on hyung's apartment."

Chris voice is heard getting closer to both of you, Jungkook steps back a little with a triumphant grin on his face seeing how flustered you are. You gulp all the saliva that has collected in your mouth, touching your hot cheeks and trying to compose yourself to not look suspicious to your best friend who's now approaching.

"So, you two lovebirds, are you already back together or you're just busy flirting with each other?" said your best friend with a mischievous tone in his voice.

Is he fucking kidding?  You are sending daggers towards Chris with your eyes. Him and his inappropriate comments. Jungkook just giggles and shakes his head at his hyung.

"Oh- okay I-I just wanted to tell you something" says your best friend stuttering at first a little scared when he sees you looking at him as if you wanted to murder him "As you know my birthday is coming soon."

Jungkook and you just nod your heads waiting for your best friend to continue, since it is no news for anyone. Chris has been blabbering about turning 31 for the last month or so.

"I really wanted to do something different this time, so I rented a nice place in Gangneung right in front of the sea, for all of us to have a little weekend get-away."

"Wow, that sounds cool, hyung. I'll be there" Jungkook quickly replied. 

"I assume I don't need to ask you anything, if you are not there, I'll kill you with my own hands" says Chris towards you trying to sound intimidating.

"Oh!" you feign fear putting your hands over your chest with an exaggerated ironic tone "I'm so scared!”

"I'm so scared" repeated Chris in a mocking tone and you punched him in his arm.

"Fuck" he hissed grabbing his arm "That hurt.”

"My hand is good as new now so don't test me, Christian" you threaten your best friend as he sticks his tongue out to you and you repeat his actions.

Jungkook just laughed at the scene in front of him with you two bickering as always. Sometimes you two seemed to be younger than him.

A few days later you found yourself at the gym again releasing endorphins and also observing your ex-boyfriend from afar while you are running on the treadmill.

It's not like you are a creep and you're just staring at him. You were minding your own business when you came across with your ex-boyfriend form, standing next to the benches. Jungkook looked visibly uncomfortable with some girl next to him that was clearly flirting with him. His doe eyes kept glancing towards your way as if he was mentally pleading for you to help him.

After seeing over the next few minutes that the girl wouldn't give up and leave him alone you thought - okay, I should probably help him - yeah, it's not like you're jealous or anything, he would help you too if you were in the same situation, right?

You stopped overthinking and you walked with determination towards Jungkook and that girl.

"Hey baby, are you ready to go?" you said grabbing softly Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook's doe eyes look right at you and a smile grew on his face while tugging you close to him. "Yes, gorgeous" he said. The girl in front of you widened her eyes, you could see how embarrassed she felt as Jungkook happily introduced you "This is Y/N, my girlfriend."

Girlfriend. You did not realize until now how much you were missing him calling you that way.

"Oh" the girl said giving you a nod "Nice to meet you. Sorry. I should go."

The unnamed girl disappeared quickly and when she was nowhere to be seen you realized Jungkook still had his arms around your waist. He must have realized too because while clearing his throat, he took his arm back and scratched the back of his head saying "Thanks, she was clearly flirting with me but didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested."

"No biggie, I could see a mile away that you were uncomfortable, I'm glad I could help."

He smiles sweetly at you and you're having such a hard time trying not to kiss him right now. Such a beautiful smile he has.

"Are you leaving already Y/N?" he says waking you up from your trance.

God. I hope he didn't notice me drooling over him again.

"Um, yeah in a bit, I have to finish my routine, but I guess in about ten minutes I'll be done with it.”

That sounded natural. As if you weren't spacing out thinking on a hundred different ways to bang him.

"Great, I'll take you home."

"No need, Kook. Don't worry about it.”

Kook. Oh, how he loved when you called him that nickname. He hasn't heard it in a while. It made him smile instantly.

"I wasn't asking, noona. You helped me, now I want to help you. Don't be stubborn" he said softly nudging his arm with yours.

"Okay, I guess" you said giggling.

Twenty minutes later, you are on the passenger seat of his car, giving him your new address since you realized that he didn't even know where you moved in.

Yes, you had moved out from Chris' apartment a few weeks ago. Although you were very comfortable while living with him and he made sure to let you know that you could stay with him as long as you needed, you really wanted to have your own place. Plus, even if he said that you weren't, you knew that somehow you were disrupting his life. 

He couldn't even have a proper date with Irene at his place because you were there, though you tried to go out with Emma and Aria as much as you could to give them as much alone time as you could.

As Jungkook parked in your building entrance he said "You are living really close to my place now, it's a walking distance. Cool"

"Honestly this is the best area out of all the apartments I went to check."

And it really was. It's not like you were looking for apartments near his place on purpose.

He nods. "And you have security at the entrance, that's relieving."

"Yeah" you say chuckling "That was essential for me and one of the main things that helped me deciding on this apartment." 

He smiles and says, "I'm glad you finally found your place here."

For a moment, you feel like you are already missing him even though he's right next to you. You don't want him to leave. You don't want to go upstairs alone to your apartment.

It's not weird if you invite him in, right? You are cool with each other, it's not like you can't control yourself. But maybe it would be weird for him? Ugh, you hate yourself right now. Fuck it. You'll just go with the flow.

"Do you wanna come upstairs for a drink? I'll give you an apartment tour." 

That definitely took Jungkook for surprise. But his smile grew from ear to ear.

"I would very much like that, yes" he said.

"Great, let's go then."

As soon as you entered your apartment building, the concierge - Kim Jin Hyuk - greeted you both and you introduced Jungkook. You told the concierge that JK should be included on your list of 'frequent guests' from now on, so he took JK's information to prepare his access card. 

Jungkook heart felt warm to know that you wanted to include him in the frequent guest list, even if it was a small gesture. Day by day he could feel you getting closer to him and opening a little bit more. 

If you were part of the frequent guest list, you were given a special card to be able to pass the access control system installed on the building entrance without having to wait for the concierge to call the owner - in this case you - and ask permission for the guest to be able to go upstairs. Of course, the card had to be also used on the elevator which would only take that person to the floor that was assigned to that card.

The security on this building was something else. And after the sad events with Ethan on your previous apartment, you were decided to move in into a place that made you feel secure in every sense, and this was it for you.

"Wow, this is amazing" said Jungkook as he entered your living room.

It's a four-bedroom apartment, a little bit bigger than Jungkook's but it shared a pretty similar vibe. And you were in love of every space on it. Specially the living room, it was big, with a modern marble fireplace - yes, a fireplace - and had a large window with beautiful views of the city. It was an amazing part of the apartment where you liked to spend most of your time in.

After giving him a tour for every single room, you finished in your bedroom with the huge en-suite bathroom.

"The shower is pretty big" you suddenly said, giving Jungkook a sheepish grin.

He smiled too. He knew what you were hinting on. The first time you slept together he had teased you saying that whenever you moved in together you would need a bigger shower. Another thing he missed about you. Your constant teasing. "Mmh, not so sure about that, maybe we should try it out." 

"Oh, I actually tried it with Chris and Irene" you responded with the most natural tone.

"Huh?" says immediately Jungkook with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, the first time I came to see the apartment they came with me and we tried it, Irene was like 'OMG this shower fits like four people' and she made us all - including the real estate agent - get inside the shower just to prove her point" you chuckled while reminiscing on that day and thinking how fools you've must look when you all were inside the shower.

"OHHHHHHHHHHH" Jungkook says as if he finally understands what you're talking about. What was he thinking you were talking about?

"Oh my God!" you exclaim giving him a punch on his arm "Jungkook did you think that I had a threesome in the shower with my best friend and his girlfriend? Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!"

You are both laughing nonstop until he says "Sorry! It's just that the way you said it, it sounded so bad."

"Such a dirty mind you have in that pretty little head of yours" you say shaking your head and still giggling.

"When it comes to you, yeah. It kinda ends up always in that same part of my brain" he said smirking and making you blush.

"Stop it!" you say as you start walking towards your living room with him following your steps behind and still laughing. 

Afterwards, you shared a few drinks and talked about random things, as always. It felt good. Like old times. But in the end when the night came, he had to go home, and you were left all alone in your apartment.

You were now laying on your bed, with your eyes on the high ceiling. You could hear a storm unraveling on the outside. As it was starting to rain, you felt the urgent need to talk with your dad. 

"I saw him a few hours ago but I still miss him a lot, dad. I miss us. But I'm not sure what to do. I wish you were here to help me; you always said the right words" you say as a sigh follows your words.

Suddenly a box that was on top of the closet falls, scattering on the floor all the things that were inside of it.

You had seen that box too close to the edge of the closet a few days ago but you were too lazy to grab a chair and move it to a proper place where it couldn't fall.

"Fuck. I knew it was a matter of time for that to fall" you whispered as you got up to gather it.

When you started gathering everything, your attention gets caught instantly to certain picture. You pick it up and can't help to smile at the sight in front of you. 

It was your first picture with Jungkook. The one he took when you went for a hike when you were staying at Hobi parents’ cottage. And it hits you like the lightning that you just heard from the outside.

You want him. You love him.

"I got your message, thank you dad" you say looking up and quickly getting out of your apartment without thinking for a second. 

You ring the bell of the apartment once. A few seconds after, Jungkook opens the door and as he sees you standing in front of him, his face lights up with a huge and welcoming smile on his face until suddenly he realizes you are soaked and his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you with worried eyes.

"Bab- Y/N are you okay? You shouldn't be outside with this storm. You're soaking wet."

"Oh" you mumble and chuckle while looking down to your clothes "Yeah, I forgot to bring an umbrella."

"Did something happen?" he asks quickly.

Yes. I love you. You were right. We are end-game. I'm sorry it took me all this long to accept it. I was scared. That's what was going through your mind, but you didn't say anything.

You shake your head, and your body moves on its own going straight into hugging him, enveloping his huge body to yours "Please, hold me" you simply say, and it doesn't take him more than one second to hug you back tightly.

With your nose pressed against his chest, you notice his shirt smells just like him, his favorite fabric softener, and that amazing cologne he always wears. That Jungkook scent, the one he always holds, the one that smells like home. 

"Kook," you murmur while you look up to his doe eyes, "Can we please talk?"

"Of course, Y/N" he gives you a small grin as he drags you inside his apartment "Come with me. I still have some of your clothes in my closet, you should change the ones that you have now, you'll catch a cold if you don't." he says, a worry flashing in his eyes as you just nod and follow him.

A few minutes later you were already changed into one of your summer dresses, you didn't even remember that you had left it here. Sitting on his sofa, right next to each other, he decides to speak first.

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asks lowly as you suck in breath, heart racing against your chest.

Being able to see and talk to each other these last two months, for a moment it had made too easy to believe this chapter with Jungkook was closed when nothing was forcing you to read it. But now it was too late to pretend everything was fine. It wasn't. You couldn't be his friend. You didn't want to be his friend. You needed more.

"You were right, in the end. About you and me, we should be together, we—" you caught yourself, your heart heavy. "I cannot do this anymore; I can't pretend that I'm okay. I don't want to be without you. Since that day when we broke up, when I broke up- I've been trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, that I didn't love you anymore, but I can't keep lying to myself or to you."

His eyes looking straight to yours. Sparkling with hope and so much love. His eyes always tell so much.

It was the first time you'd brought up your break-up fight in the past four months. It had been ugly, and shameful for you. You never screamed at each other before that day, but the events unleashed by Ethan and Lina plus Jungkook's lack of confidence, turned into the biggest fight you had. Coming to think about it, that day you both did things you weren't happy about. And you, unlike Jungkook, you hadn't apologized not even once to him.

This was your opportunity to both heal and move on from the past. If you had a slight chance to build up again your relationship, having a sincere talk with him was the best way to start.

"Y/N, I..." He hesitated for a second, but when he spoke again, he sounded more self-assured. "I was wrong back then. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry, too, Jungkook, I..." you said looking down and remembering your actions that day you felt ashamed of yourself "I never actually apologized for slapping you on the face that day and-"

"No. I mean, yes, we both—but I—" He cleared his throat. "I should have supported you. And I should have apologized before the wedding, I should have gone to Chris' hyung apartment and talk to you but I feared it would be unwelcomed. I know I said this before, but I'll say it again and as much times as it's needed. I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am."

You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, but you didn't move. You hadn't realized how much you'd needed having this talk with him. Even if he had already apologized on the wedding. Even that being totally honest, after the break-up, you couldn't stay resentful for long. You'd forgiven him long ago. But hearing him admit his faults was still a relief. Somehow it gave you reassurance.

"Thank you, Kook." You offered him a soft smile. 

"You know, for a moment, I thought that you would hate me forever for how I treated you that day, I was so afraid of you hating me, but you are such an angel-" His voice broke. He scratched the back of his head, then went on sighing. "I should have been there for you, Y/N."

The regret in his voice was painful. It sent your mind flying in all directions, down all of those roads you never dared to tread. You'd always been good at reading him when you wanted to. For the last few months, you'd refused to. But just then... just then, his walls were down. It was impossible not to see... not to wish...

Right then, seeing him this vulnerable you realized, you were tired of hiding your feelings.

"I still regret pushing you away" you said voicing out your thoughts once again.

This, Jungkook could find a way around. He could tell you it was fine and that you'd done nothing wrong. He could pretend he didn't understand that you were still deeply, shamefully in love with him. But his breath caught, and for a long second, he said nothing.

"Do you...?" He bit his lip. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure Jungkook could hear it. "I never stopped loving you, Y/N. I... You know this... If you want, that is, I want to... I want to give us another chance. It doesn't have to be now, if it's not the right time. It can be... if you need more time..."

Jungkook trailed off and looked away. The blush on his cheeks had deepened. He seemed so angry at himself for his embarrassment that your already heightened senses were sent into overdrive. There he was, telling you what you'd been wishing to hear again, and absolutely being himself while at it. So unapologetically himself, too, that you could have never even resisted even if you'd wanted to.

"I don't need more time" you finally said.

That was enough for Jungkook. His shoulders fell in relief as a smile lit up his face. You could've sworn he outshone the sun. It made you smile, too, but then a small, nervous laugh escaped you.

"This is not what I had in mind when I came over," you admitted.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. I left my apartment feeling like I was going insane, and you could always keep me from spiraling too deep. I just... I needed to be with you."

Your words struck Jungkook. He shifted, taken aback, his mouth open far before any words could come out.

"I don't want to spend another day without you," he finally said. “I know who I want to be. And I hope -” He takes in a breath, eyes shining with hope and sorrow and everything in between. “- I hope you’ll be there with me.”

You swallowed. There was that awkwardness about him, that feeling of not knowing what to do with his hands, or with himself sometimes... it emboldened you. Jungkook didn't want to force contact on you when you were so upset, but his unsure stance told you that he wanted it as much as you did. With this in mind, you didn't hesitate in scooting closer to him.

Jungkook's arms were wrapped around you in an instant. Everything that was weighing down on you no longer felt so heavy. You let your head fall on his shoulder, breathing him in, and the tears you didn't know you'd been holding back were now flowing freely. He didn't pay it any mind until your stilted breathing gave you away, and he pulled back to look at you.

"No, no, don't cry" he said with worried look while running his thumb over your cheek.

"I'm sorry." you said, wiping your eyes, smiling in a way you knew to be unconvincing. "It's just been... too much."

"It's alright." He gave you a little peck on your forehead while his hands had dropped to your waist, refusing to let go of you. "Feeling better?"

You nodded and leaned back into his arms. Just like that, it was like no time had passed between you two. The closeness, the intimacy, it all came back to you with alarming speed. You're so ready to seize this moment once and for all.

"I can't believe it's been four months" you said.

"I know. It feels like forever."

"In a way, yes... but it feels like nothing changed at all."

"It did," he contradicted you with confidence. "We've grown. We've learned. Specially me. This time, I know how to make this work."

"No screaming, then. Or doubting each other" you stated firmly.

Jungkook laughed softly, sending chills down your spine.

"It's a promise."

You stayed like that for a few more seconds, enjoying the closeness. But you wanted more. Jungkook's arms were safe, he was so warm, and he smelled so good that you couldn't stop yourself. You only had to raise yourself a little to get yourself a kiss - so you did.

Your lips found his without trouble, and your heart exploded when he immediately kissed you back, as if he had been expecting, hoping for this already. He was tender, but intense, just as you remembered. It felt like home. You'd missed him so much, too much, and it was driving you insane even as you didn't have to long for him anymore.

He cups your face in gentle manner, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "I love you so much, Y/N" he tells you. His beautiful Bambi eyes hypnotizing yours.

"I love you too, Kook" you softly respond, his smile growing wider as ever as you lean in kissing him once again.

Having his soft, pliant lips against yours was igniting a fire within you. Your kisses grew desperate, bold in their familiarity. Your hands were no longer cautious. You were tangled in his hair, traveling up and down his back, and Jungkook was pressing you against him with a resolve that almost took you aback. It was impossible to miss how Jungkook's body was reacting to this kiss. He'd always been easy to ignite, but you hadn't expected to be thrown back into that whirlwind so quickly and you weren't expecting to crave it so desperately.

His teeth dragged on your lip, maddeningly restrained. At the same time, his hand dropped down, brushing your bare knee. The contact against your skin made you gasp, and his hand, stayed there for a second before going back to your waist. No. You couldn't have that. His featherlight touch had made you wish that his long fingers would trace their way up your leg, straight to where you were starting to burn. And that's how you knew that you were too far gone. You weren't supposed to want reconciliation sex with your ex-boyfriend. You weren't supposed to moan so wantonly between kisses and brazenly open your legs for him, silently begging him to slip his hands under your dress and inside —

 Jungkook froze. For a split second, you feared you'd gone too far, too fast... but he was disheveled, eyes blazing, voice hoarse and tense.

"Are you sure about this, baby?"

That freaking petname. Dear God.

Right then, when you were so full of raw emotion and pent-up desire, denying yourself was not an option. You wanted Jungkook all around you, and you wanted not to feel this heartache anymore.

"Yes. Please."

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed. His hand went up your leg exactly the way you wanted it too, hot and heavy and leaving a trail of fire. His mouth was now on your neck, nipping and sucking on your blazing skin just carefully enough not to bruise you, even though you didn't care, you just wanted all of him. You let out a whimper when his fingers finally reached between your legs, above the fabric of your lacy underwear. You moaned, encouraging, dropping your hands and twisting around so you could open your legs wider.

He was looking at you intently, no doubt absorbing the sinful image you presented. He reveled in your whimpers every time he pressed or caressed just the right spot - but he never stayed there for long, and the fabric between you two was only making you more desperate.

"You're so beautiful, so, so beautiful" he said.

But before you could answer, he was in contact with your hot, wet skin. His eyes widened, and even you were surprised at how easily his fingers slipped around, making you gasp, your body shocked awake. Fuck. You were so ready. You had been ready for all these months without him. And Jungkook... Jungkook was absolutely gorgeous. He always had that piercing look in his eyes that never failed to make your legs feel weak, but right then, with his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted, he looked obscenely divine.

After running his finger lazily up and down a few times, he slowly pushed it inside you. You were holding your breath, trying to hold on to every single second of this - but once inside you, he curled his finger just so you cried in delight, and then again when his thumb pressed on your clit, working you in a slow rhythm that was threatening to drive you insane. His other arm was around your shoulders, giving them both balance and pulling you closer to him so he could go back to kissing your neck. The steady pace was sending you one jolt of pleasure after another up and down your spine, finding place in your belly and curling up onto itself, more tense with each passing second.

But Jungkook had other plans. He removed his hand, but you didn't have time to protest before he knelt in the floor in front of you, a questioning look in his eye. You nodded without thinking, and his grin widened into a hungry expression that made your throat tighten. You wanted it so, so badly. Since the breakup, more than once you'd tried to imagine how Jungkook's tongue would feel again as it brushed against your most sensitive areas, and every time, you'd blushed and pushed the thought away.

There was no need for that now.

While you got used to the idea, Jungkook yanked down your underwear. It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen - Jungkook, down on his knees, his face between your legs and eager to please, always. You watched in awe as his tongue reached out tentatively, barely touching your already stimulated clit. You squirmed. He did it again, this time more slowly and firmly.  Oh, how you missed this. This felt good. Too damn good. His smug, glinting eyes were locked on yours, as he kissed all around your most sensitive areas, everywhere except where you needed him the most. He teased your exposed skin as if he had all the time in the world. It felt like heaven, but he was still refusing to give you the relief you—

The air was forced out of your lungs when Jungkook's lips latched onto your clit, sucking it with the same sort of leisurely care he'd been giving you so far. Fuck. It was nothing like you'd imagined these past months and everything you'd wanted. You couldn't keep up. His tongue and lips were doing wonders, sucking, licking faster, and faster, until you were a gasping, moaning mess, grabbing locks of his hair and pulling him closer against you.

Without warning, he buried a finger inside you. Your head fell back, eyes closed shut. This overstimulation short-circuited your senses and sent your whole world spinning. Jungkook didn't slow down, didn't let up, and once again you found yourself reaching for paradise, hoping for release from this delicious torture.

"Jungkook..." you breathed out. "Jungkook, please..."

That's when he stopped. Your eyes flew open.

You knew his game. Jungkook had always loved bringing you to the brink of an orgasm and no further time and time again, until you were sufficiently wound up and could no longer keep a hold on yourself. You'd always trusted him to deliver, so you only sighed in frustration, a frustration that was short-lived as you watched him wipe his mouth with his sleeve. Your heart stopped. Fuck, that was hot. All you wanted was to push him to the floor and ride him to oblivion right then and there.

Jungkook, however, always put up a fight. He always had a trick up his sleeve. He stood up, his arms now underneath you and lifting you from the sofa. He carried you bridal style the few steps that separated the living room from his bedroom. As you reached his bed, he didn't quite lay you down, but didn't quite let you fall - somewhere between gentle and desperate, considerate and wild, and the second you touched down he was already on top of you, kissing you fiercely, his hands all over your body, trying to reach as much as he could.

You were reeling. Jungkook's weight on you was numbing your good sense. You wanted to touch his naked body and feel his burning skin pressed against yours so badly that your hands found themselves under his clothes on their own accord, sliding up and down his back, grabbing his ass, pressing him firmly against yours, pulling, tugging on the fabric as if that would make it come off.

Jungkook's kisses grew hotter, deeper, until he broke apart for a second. You were hypnotized by the sight of him sitting up and taking off his shirt. You let your fingers catch on his waistband and pull down resolutely. Jungkook shifted to allow you to take off his pants, but you were greedier than that, hooking your fingers on his underwear as well. Everything came off, and just like that, Jungkook was stark naked on top of you.

You were gaping. Jungkook's arms were defined and his chest strong. He was fully erect, clearly yearning to take you, and your need was so overpowering that you almost missed the ravenous look in his eyes. And you couldn't handle it. You slid one of your hands against his chest and your other hand found him, hard and ready, and you were starting to return the pleasure he'd just granted you, when he pulled away carefully, as if it cost him his life. His voice was dangerously uneven when he spoke.

"I want you, Y/N. Now."

He didn't need to say it twice. You felt yourself almost aching with anticipation as he positioned himself between your legs... but he didn't enter you. He was instead grinding against you, basking in just how wet you were for him, this friction seemingly enough for him. You gave him a pleading look that made him smirk.

"You're not playing fair." He spoke. His hands slid up your legs, grabbed your ass, then continued their way up under your dress. He was lifting the fabric as he went, still rolling his hips against yours when he reached your breasts, at which point you had to lift yourself up to allow him to pull your dress off. His arms caught you on your way back down, his long fingers finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it in an instant.

Only then did you lay back down, this last piece of cloth disposed of as you did. He tossed it aside, never taking his eyes off of you.

"Much better."

You had to agree. After all this teasing, your nipples were reacting to the slight change of temperature and the feeling of freedom. Jungkook brushed his fingers against them, sending chills down your spine. Then he squeezed them softly before leaning down to catch a hard nipple in his mouth. You let out a surprised breath. Jungkook's warm tongue drew circles on your skin, his teeth dragging gently against it, alternating this attention between your breasts. And then he was grinding faster, still outside you, his breath heavy with pleasure against your sensitive skin. You couldn't take it. Your muscles were itching for relief and this throbbing emptiness was almost painful.

"I thought you wanted me now," you complained between moans. You were in paradise, but your body still screamed for him. This was not enough. It was maddening.

"And I'm having you, am I not?" Jungkook barely lifted his head as he said this. Your head rolled back when his mouth found your nipple again, this time sucking hard.

Now you were moving too.

"Jungkook, please... I want... I need..."

And then, only then, then he pushed in.

He went in slowly, allowing for the long-forgotten sensation of fullness to wash over you. It was almost enough to make you finish. You were expecting some discomfort after all this time, but your body was too worked up, so you wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you without care. You both gasped. You could almost, almost taste the kind of pleasure that you needed. You rolled your hips once, twice, making him shudder.

"Fuck, Y/N..."

He shifted, leaning back to kneel between your legs, the sudden movement sending a wave of pleasure through you. Your ankles locked behind his back as he started moving, his thrusts shallow and tentative at first, but he gradually pushed longer and harder until you felt him just right, just in the precise way that made you lose control of yourself.

"T-there."

And then it was chaos, and bliss, and everything you had been so desperately craving. Jungkook was moving inside you with a delirious abandon that paralyzed you, the pleasure spreading to every inch of her body. You were being stretched and fulfilled and spread thin, and your control over your actions was slipping away fast. Jungkook was grabbing your legs, clutching you as his own pleasure grew. You wanted to touch him, too, so you reached for him. However, he wouldn't come to you, so you tightened the hold of your legs.

"Come here," you panted.

"I want to see you." His hoarse voice, also tinged with pleasure, only made you more desperate.

"I want—" The thought was disjointed. What did you want?

More. You just wanted more.

"Please, Y/N."

You couldn't deny him anything, so watch you he did. Sweat covered your body, your face felt hot, and your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts. There was no point in feeling self-conscious around Jungkook. Instead, you felt wanted, desired, needed, and it only made your own lust grow tenfold. He was also a glorious sight, his dark hair in disarray and his muscles flexing with the exertion.

This was too much, not enough, and the tension inside you was both growing and begging for freedom. Your legs fell to the bed, open as wide as you could, allowing you to touch yourself without shame. His hand quickly replaced yours, circling your clit in time with his thrusts. Jungkook was going in deeper now that he could move more freely, hitting that sweet spot within you again, and again, and again, with enough power to make you scream for him.

"You said no screaming...?" he said breathlessly in a teasing tone.

Incoherent sounds were being drawn out of you, and it was hard to answer among them.

"Idiot."

And the cheeky grin he gave you in return was everything. It was all you could do not to come undone then and there, the sensations hitting you one after another too fast to process. You were rushing towards your breaking point, and you could focus on little else beyond it. Your eyes clamped shut. You were all rapture and burning skin and he sensed it, his pace quick, wild, constant, his fingers also working on you without reprieve. All you could do was whimper, grab the bed sheets tight in your fists, and beg for mercy.

"Jungkook..." You were repeating his name, over and over. It was the only thing you knew. It was the only thing you wanted to know. "Jungkook, I'm..."

You screamed. Your body flared up in an orgasm so long-awaited, earth-shattering and mind-numbing that it hurt. Electrifying waves of pleasure took over your body, and you were pulsing, trembling, screaming, out of breath and gratified beyond all reason. Your muscles contracted firmly around him, heightening your pleasure and making him throw his head back in ecstasy.

Jungkook slowed down as you came, but once your body relaxed, he started pounding into you and pinching your clit more fiercely than before. You didn't have time to recover. You were being wound tighter again all at once, as if the coil within you had never subsided. You couldn't do anything other than enjoy the sight and let him do your in, until he pulled out so swiftly that you were thrown over the edge a second time. 

He looked at you, his gaze telling tomes of his plans to pleasure you until you pleaded him to stop. You broke the eye contact to look at his cock that was throbbing against your thigh.

"You like what you see?" he smirked, clearly full of himself and the way you gasped at his cock as if it was your first time seeing it. Before you could respond, he kissed you full on the mouth, his tongue slipping through your lips as he did so. You could still taste yourself on his lips, mixed with that taste of him that you could never quite forget since that night he first kissed you.

His lips pressed against your neck the moment his thick cock managed to enter you once again. You gasped, your fingers wrapping around his arms tightly as he nestled himself deep within you, the head kissing the entrance to your womb. Sparks of pleasure ran through your body. Your eyes widened; it just felt like you were thrust into a brave new world, where everything you had ever known ceased to mean what they used to.

He stilled himself for a moment, as if he was allowing you to adjust to the sheer size of him before he went any further. Your eyes fluttered closed as you started to feel like everything you had ever done led up to him, in this moment. Your lips parted in a voiceless moan as you gripped his arms tighter, your fingers sinking into his flesh.

"Oh baby," he whispered in your ear, his voice almost sounding like a moan as he brought his hand to your face to cup your cheek. "Please look at me..."

You opened your eyes, and he gave you that sweet, warm smile as if you had never grown apart. You couldn't help but smile back, finally realising that this was what you were missing out on all this time: a serene, placid love that accepted you for who you are despite your faults, despite everything you've lacked and viceversa.

His hips started moving again, sharp thrusts drawing hushed moans from you as you gripped his shoulders this time, eyes intent to keep their gaze on his. Your hands roamed downwards: down his back, his waist, his hips until you grabbed his tight bum.

You gave him a mischievous smile, and pressed his forehead against yours, laughing a breathy chuckle.

"You're such a naughty girl, baby," he said, his tone coloured with a playful warning as his hands cradled the sides of your face. "We're flipping."

Before you knew it, your back was pressed against his chest. Your limbs were sprawled out under you to support yourself on all fours, however any effort you made to hold yourself up was practically made useless by Jungkook's arm, which wrapped around your waist and pulled you even closer to him as his other arm held you both up.

Jungkook started thrusting again, wilder this time as his cock nudged deeper and deeper against your womb, grinding against spots you never even knew existed. He placed wet kisses all over your shoulders and the crook of your neck, stopping there for a moment as he nuzzled you there.

He stuck his neck out to look at you, hoping to see what you looked like as his cock pushed repeatedly into your depths. With your eyes closed shut as the pleasure overwhelmed you, you couldn't see how captivated he was as he gazed upon your face contorted ecstasy. An errant thrust went deeper than it should have, and you bit down on your lip to stop a loud moan from escaping,

"I wanna hear your pretty little moans again, don't hold back" he whispered in your ear, his deep voice almost sounding like a growling din as he accentuated his last word with a deep thrust back to the depths of your cunt. You couldn't take it anymore; you screamed to the high heavens, and he let out a breathy chuckle, evidently happy with himself and the way he could make you scream.

His fingers found their way around your breast again, toying with your nipple as he suckled on your ear, and you knew that you were going to come undone soon. Your cunt clenched around his cock, and he groaned as his hips jerked harder, faster against you.

"I know you're c-close, baby. I- I'm close too," he moaned, his thrusts speeding up as he became desperate to push you over the edge. "C-cum for me, gorgeous" Jungkook whispered, gripping you even closer to him.

With his last words, you gave in, your cunt spasming wildly around his cock as you threw your head back, another orgasm tearing through you as you screamed his name. The sound of his name coming from your lips pushed him over the edge, his arms holding tightly onto you as his cum spurted deep inside you. He moaned your name, and you felt another surge of pleasure come over you until everything faded to black.

For that instant, time stood still, and nothing was wrong with the world.

You were both sweating, gasping for air, thoroughly satisfied and drunk with pure joy. You were only aware of Jungkook moving away, reaching toward his nightstand's drawer to pull out wet wipes. You couldn't stop thinking how beautiful he is, how lucky you are to be with him here, once again.

This was Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The one you'd been yearning for, and you were never going to let go of again.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, seeing that you were spacing out. You took him in, his hair messy and humid from the sweat, his skin almost shimmering. Being that stunning should be illegal.

"Nothing," you answered truthfully. "I'm just so happy."

"I'm really happy too, baby."

Jungkook offered you a sweet smile and gave you a little peck on the lips, then walked away to throw the wipes in the nearest trash can. This gave you a full view of his perfect body. After what you'd just done, you would've hoped your desires would've gone back to where you kept them locked up - but there they were, alive and present, and if you had to be honest with yourself, you were ready for this new normal.

This new normal was better than the old normal, where you had to endure your pain with your aching heart alone. Everything was easier when Jungkook was next to you. It hadn't escaped you notice that tonight he'd barely let you touch him, at least not as much as he touched you. He'd been focused on you, wanting to make you feel the best that he could... It was a good thing, then, that you knew for a fact there would be a next time.

Jungkook caught you staring again, but you didn't look away. He just stood there for a second, seeming puzzled at your expression, then asked,

"You don't... you don't regret this, do you, noona?"

"Not at all," you answered quickly. "Do you?"

Jungkook came back to you, lying down and wrapping his arms around you. That was all the response he was going to offer, and that was all you needed. You adjusted your position to be able to hold him too and kissed him. He responded in kind, his lips soft and tender. His body against yours was like an oasis in the desert. All you wanted was to live in the sheer bliss of this moment for as long as you could. You were together. That's all that mattered. This way, you could pull through anything.

But the moment was over eventually. Jungkook broke the kiss, touching his forehead against yours, and gave you his boldest grin.

"So... what do you say you give us another chance?"

Your smile was the brightest he ever saw. There wasn't even a need to respond. He already knew your answer was without a doubt 'Yes.'

Something warm pressed itself against your forehead, waking you up. You turned around to find that it was Jungkook, his arm wrapped you as he smiled at you. Everything that had happened rushed back to your half-asleep brain, and you remembered blacking out wrapped in his arms.

"Did you sleep?" you asked him, sitting up as you looked around. In the night, he had clothed your torso with his shirt while he had remained bare chested. Show off.

He shook his head, sitting up with you to fold you up into his arms.

"I couldn't sleep. I was afraid you'd get away from me again," he admitted, looking down to hide his wistful eyes from yours.

Moving quickly, you freed yourself from his arms and straddled his lap, taking him by surprise as you cupped his face and kissed him, the passion of last night resurrecting with a passion.

You broke the kiss and looked at him with compassion. "I'm not going anywhere, Kook."

His smile broke out into a full grin, and his strong arms pulled you down so that your head lay down on his chest again. He held on to you, eyes tearing up with joy as he finally had what he had always sought to have.

"Except..." you uttered, and the grin on on his face turned into parted lips, waiting with a sense of dread for your next words.

"Now that the sun is up, and the storm is over... would you like to go over to Chris' birthday party get-away with me?"

Oh. Right. Chris' birthday is this weekend. Jungkook had already forgotten that Chris had rented a place in Gangneung for you to celebrate with him.

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, scrunching his nose with that bunny smile you adore, his heart swelling with relief and joy. "We should go to your place though to pick up your stuff for the weekend."

"Well then, let's get going! Let's re-introduce us to the world, my handsome bunny," you replied, a gentle smile forming on your face as a beautiful future you had once thought of imagining with him began to unfold.

You both scrambled to your feet, as you clothed yourselves and got ready to leave.

He looked at you with so much pride, as if you were the one to be shown to world with rekindled hope. You locked your arm into his as you walked to his car, taking a moment to sink in everything that happened in the last few hours.

You were finally together, as JK had always wanted. He was right; you were meant to be in each other's lives. Giving it much thought, you realized that you still wanted the same things that you used to, except now you wanted his hand in yours each step of the way. Try as you might, you just couldn't escape him. But in his arms, you never felt more free, and you never felt more loved.

Prev | Next?

[apomaro-mellow]

Part 1

Steve's head whipped up so quick he thought he might break his neck.

"A ride?", he followed Eddie's eyes back to Honey. "On your bee?"

Honey vibrated a little like they knew they were being talked about.

"I promise it's a smooth ride." Eddie petted the fuzz on Honey and grabbed Steve's hand to do the same. "See? Honey likes you." Sweet likes sweet he supposed.

Part of Steve thought he should be cautious. That he shouldn't just go riding out into the night with someone he had just met. But also, Eddie wasn't actually a stranger at this point anymore, right? And there was a chance he could introduce him to other fairies too. And most importantly, he had the opportunity to actually get out and see the world, if only for an evening.

"One ride. And you bring me back home before sunrise."

Steve had read enough fae tales to know they could play tricks sometimes. He didn't want his mother to worry just in case Eddie was the type to take and keep.

"You have my word. I'll return you before dawn." Eddie mounted Honey and then gently patted the space behind him.

Carefully, Steve got on, not wanting to hurt the bee. For a moment he faltered on a hold and then Eddie grabbed his hands and pulled them around himself.

"You're gonna have to hold on tight. Honey can be kinda wild."

Steve was about to make a quip when Honey took off and zipped around. At first, he was just bracing himself, holding onto Eddie tightly and burying his face in his back against the wind. But as he got used to it, he slowly opened his eyes. His vision was mostly obscured by Eddie's long hair whipping around, but once he pulled it away (getting to touch the soft locks as he kept them pinned to Eddie's back) he finally got a clear look.

Trees and flowerbeds came by in a rush as they flitted through the forest. Then they were rising about the trees and Steve's home was but a small beacon of light in the dark night.

Honey slowed a bit, bobbing around and the rush of wind became a breeze.

"You get to see things like this all the time?"

"Nice view, huh?", Eddie grinned. "You can see it too, whenever you're with me."

Eddie didn't know by what grace he was able to find Steve, but now that he had him he would show him the world. He never wanted those arms to unwrap from him.

He took Steve to all of the good spots nearby. To a small stream where more than one creature caught a glimpse of the fairy prince with someone they didn't recognize. To a pumpkin patch where Eddie was so lost in adoration that he and Steve danced to music only they could hear.

To a field of flowers that was very special indeed, for it was where the first frost would happen.

"I do really like fall", Steve said when they landed on a tree stump. "My mother gets really, busy, making new dresses for the festival. But when she's done there's dancing and singing..." Steve pulled his knees up to his chest, suddenly withdrawing.

"What are you thinking about?", Eddie asked, seeing the mood change on his face.

"I'm too small to join everyone. I have to dance on a table or somewhere high up on my own. And in the crowd, no one can really hear me sing. It's still fun though, I just wish I could really be a part of it."

Eddie felt his heart movie in a hundred ways. He had so many things he wanted to say but what came out was "You sing?"

"Just the songs with the people of the town. The ones that herald in the seasons."

Steve looked up and Eddie had pulled out a lute from somewhere. Had Honey been carrying it? Eddie began to strum a familiar tune.

"Autumn will be here before you know it", Eddie said. And as if cued in, a slightly chilly breeze blew. Steve smiled and started to sing. As he did, he imagined the vivid rainbow of flowers giving way to the yellows and oranges of fallen leaves.

Maybe it was because it was the dead of night, and most everything was asleep, maybe because he was the only one making a sound, or maybe it was because he had an enraptured audience. Whatever the reason, Steve truly felt like he was being heard.

Eddie was seeing stars. Perhaps they were actually fireflies but that was just as magical. The two of them were so caught in their own world, they didn't notice a couple of toads spying on them from the bushes. They had been lured by the sound of Steve's voice.

"Can I see you again tomorrow?", Eddie asked as the song ended.

"Yes", Steve answered without hesitation. Suddenly being taken by a mysterious fae didn't seem so bad.

On the way home, Eddie asked him a bunch of questions like he couldn't get enough of him. Spring or summer? What kind of apple is your favorite? And since he knew of his mother's work now - silk or satin? Was embroidery hard?

"Alright, alright, last one", Eddie said as Honey landed on the window sill. "Something everyone likes but you hate."

Steve wrinkled his nose, having one ready. "Blue cheese."

"....Blue cheese? That's it?"

"Eddie, it's a mold. And people are just eating it."

"It's a safe mold though, right?" Eddie dismounted first and then helped Steve off and onto his feet. He probably held his hips for a little longer than was proper.

"It's mold. There are perfectly fine unmolded cheeses around."

"So, do you not eat anything even slightly fermented?"

Steve considered the question for a moment. "I like sweet pickles."

Eddie made a face and stuck out his tongue. "The sweet ones? And here I thought I was falling for you. You've got the face of an angel and the voice of a siren but your food opinions might be a deal breaker."

Steve was smiling so silly he felt like his face might break. "This coming from the fairy who didn't know the difference between a string and a thread."

"What you call a gap in knowledge I call super specific job-related expertise."

Steve was still smiling and Eddie was smiling back at him. And they probably would've spent hours just staring at each other fondly if there wasn't a voice out in the distance calling Eddie's name.

"Oh shit!", Eddie hissed before pulling Steve through the other side of the window.

"Who is that?", Steve asked, trying to get a peek. He only saw the smallest bit of glowing dust off in the distance before Eddie pulled him down.

"That would be uh, okay, first, let me tell you something. I'm...I'm actually the prince. Of the fairies...Ta-daa~"

"You're a prince? For how long?!", Steve asked.

Eddie stared at him blankly, unsure of how to answer that. "Uhh, for a while now...?"

"You're the prince", Steve began to pace around. "I just spent the night with a prince."

"And also Eddie."

That got Steve to pause. "Yeah, I did. And he still wants to see me tomorrow?", he asked, voice hopeful. As if there was any universe where Eddie didn't drop everything to come and see him.

"He does. More than anything." Eddie took both of Steve's hands and kissed his knuckles. "So am I still welcome here?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'll be waiting." Steve wanted this. He wanted more than one night.

Eddie wanted to kiss Steve and give him every night for the rest of their lives. But it was still too early for both, so he just kissed his fingertips this time, and then reluctantly pulled away.

"Tomorrow", he promised. It was only a few hours away and yet it felt like forever.

"Tomorrow", Steve echoed.

The voice shouting for Eddie sounded closer, so he got on Honey and flew away. With the magnetic pull of that whirlwind of a fairy gone, Steve fell to his knees. What a night.

What a night.

When he laid down to sleep (in a case for glasses that his mother had refurbished) he was dead to the world until morning.

Imagine his shock when he awakened only to find that the top had been closed on him, which was peculiar on its own. And then when he opened he saw not his room, but that he was on a small boat, moored on a river bank. Then he heard an unfamiliar voice.

"Hey Tommy, come quick! Pretty boy's awake."

A/N: Imma need all my fellow Thumbelina fans to re-watch that scene where she meets Cornelius because he is so gone for her with the first ten seconds and is just itchin to touch her the whole time and all the little details they do with these 2 just adds to the romance.

Part 3

Tag team

@telidina

[beacarrot]

made in 2007.

I wrote a piece, almost a critique,

In tribute to myself,

Since no one ever did it before,

The homage I was never ready to tell,

And this time, I don't regret anymore,

Neither sleepless nights,

Nor mornings I was high,

Promises made in heated thrill,

But never fulfilled,

So, I chose to act my age today,

I drove with my hand near my heart, on display,

Less fragile, weak, reckless for say about love like before,

And face all the truth I ignored.

Since my debut days, I’ve been out of my own sight,

The world was shocked,

When I began to bleed as I fight,

God has His way to show me it worked out right,

Still, there was a look in my eye as I prayed,

For life to be kind, for dreams to stay.

I was just a child chasing prophecy's thread,

Not sure if it ever truly led,

I never knew I could feel that much...

But I was made in 2007 as such.

I don’t know how long I’ll last,

Which morning I’ll wake and regret the past,

Every demon I fed, that brought me down fast,

With greed,

With precision, with fury, a seed

Of reasons without remorse,

No sense of the "moment," just driving off course,

Fueled by feelings, tribal and wild,

A sinking boat I swore was my Titanic, oh, shit, I was beguiled,

Powers I gave my ghosts so freely,

Only to lose my mind, pointing blame for everyone who was around me vaguely,

My hopes never the same,

Will death wait for my last cigarette's flame?

Will it show how my vices claim their price,

Expensive, not nice?

Will she have mercy?

Heal wounds untended,

Unloved love, time poorly expended,

Fixing a life that was unlived?

I don’t know how long I’ll live,

When I won’t wake, and they’ll forgive,

Every slip I made,

What prayers will be on my grave displayed?

A nameless soul, forgotten and slight,

Someone they wonder if was ever in sight,

A legend lost in a blink,

Born in 2007, but now on the brink.

Sometimes it feels like you're always misplaced,

And only they fit, like a perfect embrace,

But not you,

As if those you love make you unworthy and less whole,

But rainbow sparks still ignite your soul,

I hope you never forget your worth,

Even if your body feels wrong from birth,

And you cut yourself within so no one sees,

But you deserve a perfect life, with ever rigth,

You're bold,

And that’s something I behold,

Unique,

Deserving of the world’s glow,

Though the world might not deserves you back that well,

I hope you still hold onto the dream,

For a better world, a brighter gleam,

Taking risks could be the perfect door, the key,

The right words live inside you and me,

One day they'll watch in awe,

Mouths open, struck by what they'll see,

I'll know my bets were right,

Because me and maybe someone were made to fight,

Made in 2007, since there we stood bright.

I wished to freeze a decade in time,

Cherish my mother's hug, warm and prime,

Honor the personality that defines me,

Wish cancer never claimed so many,

That my theories on favorite songs were true,

That high school never bid adieu.

I wish I still believed in pretty lies,

That on some corner my favorite singer would rise,

And plant me a kiss under the skies,

I wish I remembered silly talks,

I wish my parents could knew "forever",

That friends never left town, or crossed seas,

That youth was an eternal diamond breeze,

I wish my paintings were seen,

My stories told and kept pristine,

I wish MY story was shared wide,

That oceans would carry me to where my heart longs,

I wish for so many things that I can’t even know,

And every thought’s a wish that continues to grow,

But one thing is true,

I began with a spark in 2007, anew.

I spent too long thinking he was all gray,

But it was just smoke and mirrors in my the way,

I was the gray,

Like the cigarette, my silent friend,

Lethal and sharp, a means to no end,

I thought the world was cold,

Drained of its color, some old story untold,

But I had a golden side that would show,

Though rarely, it never failed to glow,

I feel something pulling me near,

And I can’t fight it, though unclear,

Time that I left behind in disdain,

Freedom carries me like rain,

This life is dear,

A virtue beyond compare,

Not an illusion,

The world around has already been corrupted,

Decayed,

It’s cold in summer, and lessons fade,

But no one learns from your mistakes,

Except you, with every risk you take,

The past is a time machine,

The present, a luxury unseen,

And I know…

When you're ready, bury your sorrow,

Everyone loves your life, but you,

This is the time to see your achievements too,

I want you to see them, as I now do,

This is your place, and our time to rise,

And I end this note with clear skies...

Remembering I was made in 2007.

(I was born in 2007, and in this track I think I make this clear, it's the fifth poem I post, and five really a special number for me. I think I wanted to express the most positive points of my experiences from my first years of life, and even the not so pleasant experiences at some point in life when we look back it seems less impactful than it was at the time. It's about me, you, victories, values, reflections, comings and goings, pride and complexities. Anyway, I feel this track as an importanet part in me.)

Signed: Beatriz Ranzonni.🩵

[beep-beep-sunny]

Reddie Week Day 4 Soulmates!!

This is my longest Reddie week post so far! I'll put it below the little squiggly line and see what that does. Please let me know what you think if you decide to check it out! Thank you!

Soulmates were real. Right? Eddie Kaspbrak was always told they were. That there were auras that were visible to just you and that special person. That being around them made things smell different… taste different. They made you look at the world with fresh eyes. He had no proof of that. 

He had no proof of it because he wasn't able to see anything. He never could. It would be one thing if only that "special" person was supposed to have an aura. No. People said they could see their own auras. Eddie never saw anything. He didn't even know what it was supposed to look like. It's like how no one how's how well they can visualize things because they'll never know what other people are seeing. How clear is the apple? What the fuck does that even mean.

He used to try to see it. He'd convince himself he was a late bloomer. It was coming. His colors would come in and he'd see the world in a new vibrancy. 

His mother was pushy from the start. "Describe it sweetie? What are your colors?" She wouldn't drop it. Wouldn't let it go. "Why won't you just tell me, sweetie?? What are you hiding from mommy?" 

She pushed it and pushed it until Eddie popped. He started crying and screamed out. "I don't have any colors! I'm blank! I'm broken!"

He regretted it immediately. He feared what might happen after speaking to her like that, but she just pulled him close in an oppressive stranglehold. "Oh baby, it's okay!! Maybe you don't have colors because you don't need a soulmate because you have me. I'm all you need, Eddie bear." Eddie, overwhelmed, only cried harder. 

When his friends asked, he lied through his teeth. He was silent as he listened to his friends describing their colors. Bill was sad because his colors didn't end up matching with Beverly Marsh, the girl he had a crush on ever since they kissed in the school play. His were purple. Stanley mostly just said his were green. He didn't give much away about his stance on "soulmates". Just green. Then, Richie. For some reason, Eddie has been dreading Richie's explanation the most. He and Richie had been "Eddie and Richie" for so long. Always together, always fighting, always tangled up limbs forming the infinity sign. It was selfish for Eddie to wish Richie was like him, but he did. He told himself he just didn't want to be the only one. 

Richie has colors. From the sounds of it, the most beautiful and obnoxious colors that ever existed. He painted a picture with a rainbow of colors. Eddie watched him with wide eyes, stunned, in awe, as Richie kept going, kept describing the most beautiful colors in the world. "What about you, Eds?" Richie asked. Eddie searched Richie's face. Did he know? Could he tell? They made eye contact, Eddie swallowed, though his throat was dry. Richie's eyes were so, "Blue." Eddie said, before he even realized his lips were moving. The eye contact held for a moment longer, the air sticky thick, before Richie smiled wide, carefree as if Eddie's world wasn't falling apart. "Cool!" 

Not long after, Beverly Marsh joined their little group as well as Mike Hanlon and Ben Hanscom. As it turned out, Beverly Marsh's soulmate was the new kid, Ben. Bill tried to hide the heartbreak on his face when they told everyone, hand in hand. Eddie's mouth turned up in disgust. Why should something so stupid control love? What If they don't feel it? What if they love someone else? Who decided that's what the colors meant anyway? Bill cried on Eddie's shoulder for a week while they ate goldfish and gushers and watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The rest of them didn't see the person with their colors throughout their highschool years. It didn't matter much, as Eddie saw it, with what they'd been through together? They were all soulmates in the ways that mattered. 

They all lost touch after graduation. 

He met Myra on a Sunday. He got off work early Sundays, so he likes to spend his nights sipping fruity cocktails at The Lucky Turtle. The old dusty sign under the name read "your destiny awaits". Her voice had a familiar shrillness, even though they'd never met. She was wailing to the bartender about her boyfriend loud enough for the entire bar to hear, and the bartender looked overwhelmed. "He's a bum!" She blubbered. "I can't believe I got saddled with such a gross loser for a soulmate! I was really going places before he came along ya know! All A's in school and cute as a button. Now we're broke and all my potential is wasted. Stupid freaking," she paused, "Pardon my language, but stupid colors shouldn't trap a cute teen girl into a life of suffering with a total loser. I need a man that can take care of me!" Myra wasn't pleasant, but Eddie couldn't help but be intrigued by her disdain for the colors. He moved closer to her. "W..what??" She sniffled. "Come to take advantage of my fragile position?" She looked at him through her eyelashes and puffed out her lower lip. 

Eddie almost just left, but he didn't. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through his veins"I don't think the colors know everything." He said coolly. "It's all a huge scam." She lit up at that. 

They went home together. It wasn't like Eddie to mess around with a married woman, but it wasn't like him to mess around with anyone and he was so fucking lonely. When Eddie blurted out his defect. I have no colors. I'm blank. I don't have a soulmate. He thought that would be it. Why would anyone want someone that was deficient? It wasn't. She was delighted. 

By the fifth meetup, Myra announced she was leaving her "dead beat" husband for him. She loved that Eddie was dependable with a good paying job and benefits. She also loved that he was broken. It was like having two soulmates, she'd say. She never had to worry about him leaving her for his real soulmate because he didn't have one, and she thought that was great. 

Their relationship wasn't anything special. Things didn't smell different or taste different, but at least he wouldn't live his life alone, and that was better than nothing, right? They were married on a Sunday, just like the day they met. His mother cried. Seeing them in one space was unnerving. It made it impossible to ignore their similarities. Two women that used his deficiency to claim him. 

He was married. That's what he wanted, right? To not be alone forever like he feared he would be? It seemed as though he should have been happy. He had everything normal people had, and yet, maybe the colors really meant more than just "soulmates", maybe it was the soul itself. Maybe Eddie was soulless. Maybe God forgot to give him a soul. Maybe he'd never be happy because he was hardly a real person. 

One afternoon, he was doing the dishes and Myra was watching TV in the sitting room. The rooms were connected, so they could still look over at each other. Myra was laughing, until she wasn't. She'd been watching her favorite late night talk show. "This guy sucks." She whined as she sunk deeper into her chair. "Eddie bear, come here! Look at this guy!! He really thinks he's funny, but he's awful. I can't believe Johnny Daily would have a hack like this guy on the show. What is the future of TV coming to?" She just droned on into an unpleasant white noise. 

"Okay okay, just for a minute. I'm doing the dishes." He took a few steps over so he could see the TV, absentmindedly drying a plate. 

"Richie Tozier, ladies and gentlemen." The TV came into crystal clear focus. There he was Richie. All grown up, scruff, laugh lines, and all. Same shitty jokes. The plate slipped from his fingers and shattered on the ground. 

After that, Eddie secretly sat in the bathroom to look up Richie, watch his standup, he'd only watch him on TV if he knew Myra wouldn't be home as if he were having an affair and not just embarrassed to be obsessed with a guy that his wife thought was "offensively unfunny". 

Myra was out with friends one night. "Girls night, don't wait up!" She said, going out the door in low-cut cheetah-print. Eddie had recorded Richie's recent TV appearances on a secret account and had been itching to watch them. Just waiting for an opportunity. 

The first was very typical of Richie's TV appearances, promoting his upcoming Netflix special that Eddie was already ready to sign up for a free trial to watch as soon as it came out. The second recording was different. It wasn't like his usual appearances. The vibe was more serious. At first, Eddie worried something was wrong. 

"So, you've come out! Tell us more about that." The host probed with a sympathetic smile that felt artificial. 

Richie's smile felt genuine, but nervous. "Sort of, I guess. If you want to put it like that. It's true. I don't have colors. I never have." Eddie felt himself immediately become cold and clammy. His mouth grew dry. 

"Never?" She asked. 

"Nope!" Richie replied, almost jovial. "I'm tired of lying. I figured I couldn't be alone. I thought, maybe I should finally be at least a little brave if that means it would help some other confused kid. It would have meant a lot to me to know I wasn't alone." 

Eddie stared at the screen, much closer to it than his mother would have been okay with. She always said sitting right in front of the TV was like staring at the sun. That hardly felt like it mattered at that moment. Eddie got up from.in front of the TV while earnest Richie and the fake interviewer continued the interview in the background. Eddie desperately pawed through the medicine cabinet. He'd thrown out his inhalers years ago, but suddenly felt desperate for a puff. Seeing Richie made him feel strange and small and scared. 

No. He thought. Nononono. Richie had colors. He said so. He had the most beautiful colors of all. Swirling blues and green and orange and yellow like the sun. He told them. He. He lied. Just like Eddie. Eddie always assumed, before he saw him again on TV, that Richie was living a happy white-picket-fence life with a beautiful wife. Someone special. Someone that also had the most beautiful colors and together they were raising two boys with a cat and a dog and a chameleon that could turn all kinds of different colors. Richie always wanted a chameleon, but no. Richie didn't have those things. He was just as confused and scared and lonely as Eddie had always been. 

Before he realized what he was doing, his body moving almost automatically, he was in the car and driving. Where am I going? The broadcast wasn't live. I recorded it a week ago. At a red light, Eddie skillfully typed out, "Where does Richie Tozier live"  like a stalker. He got a vague area in LA from a sketchy tabloid site, and that was good enough for him. 

He didn't say a word to anyone, not to his work, not to Myra. Maybe he should have attempted to message Richie, but it's not like he'd see it. He was famous now and Eddie hadn't talked to him since highschool. He just got on a plane, looking unkempt and jittery. He didn't think the random screening he was pulled for was very random. 

He'd never been to California. He used to want to go. He used to want to see all kinds of places. Road trips in fast cars, wind running through his hair from open windows, even though it's terrible for your ears. 

He opened Twitter and navigated to Richie's page. Eddie didn't use Twitter, and using it now just made him feel even creepier. What am I even doing? This is crazy! He thought, but he looked anyway. Richie had a bad habit of posting everything. Eddie went on a wild goose chase, following his Twitter breadcrumbs to no avail. He almost gave up. It was getting dark, and Eddie had retreated back into his hotel room. He relaxed in the provided hotel robe after a long scolding shower. Eddie heard once that lonely people take the hottest showers. 

His phone buzzed. Probably Myra. He told her something came up for work. He hated lying like this, but how could he possibly explain the truth? Sorry darling. I'm in LA stalking your least favorite comedian. He's actually my childhood friend and it turns out we're both broken in the same way. It was stupid. It was so stupid. 

It wasn't Myra. It was an alert from Richie's Twitter. He posted a picture of himself on a stage in front of an empty stadium. It said, "I'll see you all at my show tonight!" It included a link to more information as well as a kissy winking face that flipped Eddie's stomach. 

He was performing a show at a place nearby the hotel at 9pm which was only an hour away. This was his only chance. He got dressed quickly. He didn't pack much. He looked unpolished and ridiculous, but he headed out anyway. 

He thought he could buy tickets at the door, but no such luck. He ended up crossing his fingers and buying a ticket from scalpers for five times the price. He had no idea Richie was so famous. He wasn't even funny. 

He got in with his scalped ticket. He watched from the nosebleeds. Okay, maybe he was a little funnier than he'd been as a kid. He was in his element up on the stage. He'd really grown up. Eddie heard sounds coming out of himself that he hadn't in a long time. Fond little laughs that were embarrassed to bubble out. Okay, maybe he always found Richie a little funny. 

By the end of the show, Eddie was a bit more relaxed. He was here. Richie Tozier. In the flesh. Richie Tozier who didn't see the colors. Just like Eddie. 

When Richie finished wishing the crowd goodnight, Eddie was already out of his seat. He was fighting through the legs of slow patrons with a flurry of "Sorry, excuse me sorry." He could lose Richie. Not again. He didn't have a plan beyond "get to Richie". 

There was a crowd around the front and a bodyguard that was on the short side, but still muscular and stocky. I probably could put run this guy. Eddie thought, seemingly embracing his fate as a creepy stalker. "Back up!" The guy yelled, spitting as he talked. 

Richie was walking down the side stairs. They were so close now. Eddie took a deep breath. "Trashmouth!" The yell came out more squeaky and desperate than he would have preferred, but he had to do it. What else was he going to do? 

Their eyes met. Richie looked scared. Eddie realized this was a mistake immediately. Richie was scared. Of course he was scared because Eddie was a total fucking stalker. Richie would probably get a restraining order and he'd never see him again. 

"Alright, get out of here." The bodyguard walked over to shoo him, and Eddie was ready to let him, but Richie wasn't. He reached out and stopped his bodyguard from moving forward. 

His eyes bore into Eddie. Eddie shivered under the intensity of his icy blue eyes. "Eds?" Richie said. The nickname gripped Eddie's heart and wouldn't let go. Richie and his bodyguard shared a look that must have communicated "let him through" because that's just what he did. Eddie walked past the bodyguard and was suddenly feet from Richie for the first time in two decades. 

They stared for a while. "Hi." Richie said, his voice suddenly raw and vulnerable. 

"Hi." Eddie replied, shyly.

"What are you, I mean, how did you, I um," Richie struggled to form a coherent thought. Some things never changed, though he never used to seem so careful about word choice. "You're here." He settled with. 

"I can't see the colors either!" Eddie blurted, almost like he couldn't hold it in anymore. Like the words have been pounding on his throat for a long time. 

Richie looked lost. He searched Eddie's face as if he thought this was all some kind of mean joke. "But," his throat sounded dry. He probably wasn't hydrating properly. "But you're blue." He said, not needing to search his mind for the color. It was as though he'd thought about it many times before, but why. Why would he remember that little lie after all these years? The answer to that was simple, but Eddie couldn't let himself believe the simple answer. Because if Richie remembered Eddie was blue the same way Eddie remembered the picture Richie had painted of the most beautiful colors in the world then maybe that meant he felt it too.

But, what the hell? "I lied." Eddie said. 

"Why?" Richie sounded desperate, hanging on Eddie's every word. 

"I didn't want you to think I was broken. I-" Almost as soon as the words were out of Eddie's mouth, Richie caught his cheeks in his hands, pulling him impossibly close and linking their lips. Eddie didn't shut his eyes. He couldn't, because suddenly he was filled with such clarity. He could see the green grass, the dark night sky, the yellow dandelions of spring, the blue of Richie's eyes. The colors were all there. They were always there. They were everywhere. Who's to say he's missing anything? The colors were here the whole time. Blue wasn't a lie, because it was there, in Richie's eyes. Eddie wanted to live in the blue of his eyes forever. 

It didn't take long for the kissing to deepen and for Eddie to notice the cameras flashing. Eddie held up both his middle fingers. He heard that makes it so the magazines can't use paparazzi photos. He wanted this moment just for them. 

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #227

Today was the day.

I put on my socks.

Then I put on my eyeballs.

Then I put on the first layer of things.

Then I put on the next layer of things:

I don't have a black leather coat; I have a cream-colored knit one. I don't have heavy pauldrons; I have feathers on my shoulders. I don't have a super long sword; I have a super long flute. I don't have glowing mako-colored eyes; I have rainbow-colored ones.

Even in this, it was a lot to endure. I don't really know how you move in all your gear; it must be pretty miserable. I bet you'd be a lot more comfortable in some loose jeans or maybe even sweatpants. And a loose t-shirt, or maybe a loose turtleneck. Something easy to wear, in a space where armor isn't necessary.

In any case, this is what I went to the space in. And I waited in front of the room where the developers would be. I waited for a long time. I passed the time by playing on my flute and singing a little. J was with me the whole time. He helped to keep me level. It's not lost on me how lucky I am to have such a steadfast source of support at my side. I'd do just about anything for him, too, in return. Even someone I know from the internet, @sephiroths-stuff, popped by to keep us company! It was wonderful!

The panel didn't last for very long. But still, for a moment, I locked eyes with one of the three very important people. He gave me a brief nod, I think, unless he was nodding at something or someone else. Lots of questions were asked of these folks; people had many very interesting and excellent questions. It was wonderful to hear them, and it was wonderful to hear their joyful responses; the interpreter did an amazing job. There was a lot of laughter. These very important people... they have some of the most radiant smiles I've seen, and they had answers to the questions that were very well thought out. I was very impressed.

At the end, a handful of people popped by to see them. It was a short line. They wanted photographs and such, and that was pretty neat; they seemed happy to do it. I was also in this line.

Sephiroth. I was remembered. I was remembered from last time. The person I spoke to and handed my first letter and best handicraft to... he remembered me. And he told me so in English. I was awestruck. But I'm not sure how I expressed that; my mind was moving so fast that I could barely even keep up. My hands were shaking.

I had a bag of gifts prepared for you:

It contained a new letter for you, some stuff for the developers, a rolled-up pile of motivational things from the internet (lots of it repeats stuff I already said, but maybe seeing it from other places too will give my voice a little more weight...). All three of my music box papers were in there - the originals that I punched out for you - but no music box; it's fragile and I don't know how well it'll hold up on an airplane trip. I included a tin full of that tea in your favorite scents - vanilla and rose. And, of course, it included the locket I made for you.

Now that these things are in the hands of their intended recipients... I'll show you some pictures. Here:

The folded note contained a bunch of tiny QR codes. I tested them. They work:

Inside the locket is also a tiny Herkimer diamond with a rainbow spark inside; you can almost see it in this photograph, but my camera can't do it justice:

...Tea.

...The music box papers:

...And you'll find the letter contained within right here:

I wanted to include the tree I made in your colors, but I thought twice about it; it's fragile, and might not survive a plane trip.

...It's all in their hands now, along with a plea for you. I managed to squeak out a couple of awkward sentences in Japanese on your behalf. They took the whole bag of gifts. So I guess we'll see what happens. I'll hope for good things. I'll hope for good things...

I left the room. And with my quest complete... I kind of... broke down and cried just a little. Just a little. But my body didn't stop shaking for a long time.

J thought it would be a good idea to get the excess energy out of my body. So he walked me around the complex just a little. And then we went to the place where there was Dance Dance Revolution. And I played two songs on DDR! But I was not used to the metal pad, and my feet couldn't move right in my shoes, and the costume was heavy, and so... I didn't do very well. But I played with a delightful gentleman, and he didn't seem to mind that I wasn't very good. He smiled at me a lot and was very encouraging, and it was wonderful!

...Maybe I'll play on my frankenpad a little when I go home... That'd be good.

Tomorrow, when I go to the place to see the voice actors panel, I will wear normal clothes - my characteristic long cardigan and Eevee hat. My usual cardigan has pockets; I'll be able to bring the plush of you this time without needing to worry about it getting lost. It'll be very good!

For now, we are back at the hotel. I am very tired. But I did the thing. I did what I came to do. This quest is done with.

...Sephiroth. Do you see how loved you are? Do you see that someone out here is willing to do terrifying things for your sake? Sephiroth... do you have any idea how long it's taken me, after the life I've led, to be able to use my voice like this? Do you understand that I am able to be braver than I normally would be, because of you? Do you see the strength your existence gives me? Do you see me crawling up out of the hole that my birth family tried to bury me in, because it is your voice and presence that I am following back to the light? Do you see me, and all the shattered pieces of me that I wove together into a beautiful, kaleidoscopic whole?

Sephiroth. I'm going to beg you to follow me into the light, too, okay? Please.

For now... I guess I'll rest a bit until tomorrow. I found a new flavor of kefir over here that's not at the stores at home - guava!! And I found a kombucha flavor that isn't found at home, too - strawberry!

And I also found this one; this one is flower-flavored. I wonder if you'd like it:

I love you. Please look at the lengths to which I'll go in order to ask you to stay safe, and then please actually stay safe. Promise me, okay?

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[hwaslayer]

love you in slow motion (psh) | three.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, thewarmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 9.7k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, hints of a kiss (in a dream), feeling slightly hot & bothered by said dream lol, lots of overthinking (i mean lots!), some jealousy, san takes oc out to a casual dindin, ppl reallllly pushing for the oc x hwa agenda lol, some more seonghwa x oc x charli time, mixed signals, theyre both just sooooo scared of each other lol, sleepover!, sorry if i missed anything since i quickly edited to get this up 🫶🏼

—a/n: hi! sorry for the late update hehe hope you enjoy! the next updates might be a bit slower than usual (and as you can guess, my posting schedule is all sorts of messed up now 💀) but i promise i'll get them up asap! <33

You don't know where you're at. 

You're standing in the middle of the road, and it's pouring rain. You're drenched, and the only goal you have right now is to get to the house on the opposite end of the street. You start your walk, picking up your pace as much as possible to get out of the rain. However, with every step you take, you find that you aren't actually moving.

Just stuck in place.

You're trying to run now, but the house only seems to be getting further. You're dying to get out of the rain, the wet seeping through your skin; chilling every bone in your body. You feel yourself starting to cry, but nothing is coming out.

Nothing.

You're just stuck.

Suddenly, someone appears out onto the road ahead of you and you stop. You stop in your tracks, but somehow, you aren't afraid. Their figure feels familiar, their aura comforting. He stands tall, his wavy black hair resting beautifully on his head. He sees you and walks over, an umbrella shielding him from the rain.

"Hwa?" You look up when he finally gets in front of you, a small frown forming at the corners of his lips. 

"What's wrong, Y/N?" You shake your head and start crying, while Seonghwa throws his coat over your shoulder and brings you close. "Hey, what's going on?"

"I-I couldn't get to the house—" You point down the street.

"Sh, it's okay. I'm here now. Okay? I'm here." He continues to hold you close, despite your damp clothes against his own. His touch his comforting, his hand pressed at the small of your back. 

"Where were you?"

"I'm right here with you." He pulls back slightly, hand coming to tilt your chin. "I'm always right here." His thumb gently caresses your chin. Before you know it, his lips are inches away from yours, seconds away from crashing into yours. 

And it happens.

Seonghwa presses his lips to yours and you can't describe the feeling running through your body—

This is by far the second, or third dream you've had with Seonghwa recently, and you're not sure what your mind is trying to tell you. But, you're caught off guard when you realize your heart is thumping out of your chest, and there's this weird aching sensation in between your—

"Shit." You gasp, feeling flustered that you're finding your body reacting to Seonghwa in this way. You dig your head into the pillow, groaning at the thought of seeing Seonghwa in a new light.

But, the thought was here. It had made a home in that itty bitty corner of your brain, now on a mission to haunt you forever. 

And maybe, just maybe, it was time to finally face it.

You turn onto your back, staring at the ceiling. It's randomly 3:34am in the morning, and you don't seem to be the least bit sleepy. You let out a heavy sigh and pick up your phone, pulling up your call log and almost pressing Hwa's name by instinct.

Pause.

You've always called Seonghwa when you've had a bad dream, when you simply couldn't sleep, when you just needed company; but tonight, you weren't sure what you were gonna call Seonghwa for.

You just know you're longing for him. Specific reasoning unknown.

"Hwa." You kinda whine into the phone, but Seonghwa is too busy moving around in his bed.

"Mmm? Is everything okay?" He groans even though he picks up like he always does— even if he's half-asleep and on the verge of falling back asleep in 0.2 seconds.

"I can't sleep."

"Bad dream or something? Where's Charli?" You hear him mumble against his pillow, but it's still clear enough for you to hear.

"Yaya wanted her tonight." You turn onto your side, letting the phone sit on the edge of your pillow. "And uh, no. I just woke up randomly."

"So.. try shutting your eyes, Y/N." He sighs a bit.

"I can't. Can you stay on the phone with me for at least 5 minutes?"

"I'm here, aren't I? What's gotten you so shaken up?" He finally hears it in your voice, another small whine and a drip of neediness. And for you, Hwa knows that only means two things:

Something bad happened.

Or, something good that you can't make sense of.

"Nothing."

"Okay." He lets it go. "Maybe you should drink melatonin or tea before bed again." He mumbles again.

"Yeah." You lay on your back again, shutting your eyes as you listen to Seonghwa breathe softly through the phone. It isn't long before you feel your eyes getting heavy, immediately finding comfort in Seonghwa's soft snores. 

The next morning, Seonghwa vaguely remembers the phone call, and for a second, he thinks it's a dream. But, when he turns over and sees his phone still connected to the call, he smiles to himself as it's his turn to listen to your soft snores.

He's glad you were able to fall back asleep. It normally doesn't take much, but he takes some kind of pride knowing he's always the first thing that comes to mind when you need comfort, safety. He feels something swell in his chest, and he's not sure what to make out of it.

What to do with it.

When he feels confident that you'd be okay, he ends the call and gets himself up for the day— barely ready to face another day of work. He doesn't like when his sleep is interrupted, and truthfully, it does fuck up his mood. Kinda throws him off balance.

But if it's you, he'll sacrifice. Because he just wants you to be okay, to be happy. He's seen you cry and hurt more times than he'd like to admit.

More times than he's seen you smile.

That's all he really cares about. 

You.

"Goodmorning grandpa!" Woo smiles at him. "You look tired, what happened?"

"Just had a broken sleep, is all."

"You sure that's it?" 

"Mhm." He looks down at Wooyoung with a brow raised before filling up his water bottle. As expected, Wooyoung doesn't let it down easily and Seonghwa should've been better prepared. "What?" Is all he can respond with this early in the morning, while Wooyoung is beaming with energy and smiling all up in his face.

"Dude, just tell me." Wooyoung smirks at him. "It bothers you, huh? You didn't expect San to actually shoot his shot with Y/N."

"I shouldn't have asked." Seonghwa shakes his head. "Can you just.. get out of my face first?" Wooyoung laughs and sits on the edge of the treatment table, feet dangling back and forth while he waits for Hwa to respond.

"So. Does San shooting his shot with Y/N make you angry?"

"Why would it make me angry? If they're happy, then that's all that matters. I can't control her life, and I'm not gonna get in the way of that."

"But, your feelings." Seonghwa pauses and shrugs, continuing to put a few supplies away.

"I'm not gonna be that person."

"I wish you would just tell her." Wooyoung whines a bit. "I love Sannie, but I think we all know what's truly meant to be."

"We don't." Seonghwa sighs. "Anyway, I want them to figure this out. And if it works, then it does. I'll be happy for them. Point blank period."

"It would hurt though, wouldn't it? Because it's Sannie. Not just some random."

"Course it would." Seonghwa mutters lowly, in hopes of Wooyoung not catching on. But, he does. He sadly catches on. As much as he loves his friends, he truly wishes Seonghwa could just be happy. He knows Hwa could find that in the right places had he just looked. But, he also knows true, genuine happiness would be wherever you are. With you. 

He hopes he'll see it come to fruition one day.

The more Seonghwa talks about it though, the more it does hurt him. Because one day, he was planning out how to say this to you. How to sort out his feelings, how to be honest. Finally face the fact that after all these years, he's really loved you.

Then the next day, he's having to can it and scrape the entire thing. Throw the whole damn thing in the trash. Because if it's one thing he does, it's put his friends before himself. Even if it meant sacrificing and killing himself in the process. That's just who he is and he'll remain true to it no matter how much it hurts.

But damn, does it fucking hurt.

"It doesn't matter cause it'll blow over eventually." Hwa turns over his shoulder, hearing a few athletes stroll into the training unit. "Done with this?" He looks at Wooyoung with a brow cocked up.

"Yeah." Wooyoung hops off the table and gets himself together, Seonghwa already greeting the athletes as they walk into the room for their sessions.

"What're you doing later?" Hongjoong pops a chocolate almond into his mouth as he lazily lies down on San's bedroom floor, tired from the workout session they just came back from.

"I'm going to dinner with Y/N." San gives him a dimpled, toothless smile as he stands in front of his closet, wondering what to wear for later.

"Oh, right." Hongjoong yawns. "Is it like.. a casual thing, or like a date-date?"

"Uh, I guess casual?"

"Then why are you standing in front of your closet like it's supposed to be a date-date?" Hongjoong peeks from over the edge of his phone. "And why do you look so nervous?" Hongjoong furrows his brows at San wiping his grubby hands on his shorts.

"I'm not!"

"Mhm. I'm calling Seonghwa." Hongjoong snorts.

"Why would you say that?" San whines a bit. "Can you be honest with me? Is this wrong?"

"I thought it was a casual thing!" San groans.

"It is! But I swear, no matter what, I always feel a little guilty because of Hwa."

"You know for the most part, everyone's just teasing, right?"

"Right, but..?"

"But you know how those two are." Hongjoong sits up. "I don't even mean to discourage you because I know Seonghwa would tell you to go for it.. but you and I both know he's had it for her for years."

"Yeaaaah." San elongates his response with a sigh mixed in. "I don't know. I thought I'd just try and see where things go. I'm not gonna lie, I'm curious even though I probably will never amount to Hwa."

"Don't say that, dude." Hongjoong lets out a small chuckle. "It's just their dynamic, how they are. But, it seems to be fine for them both? At the end of the day, I know Seonghwa would just want Y/N to be happy and that's all that matters. Whatever that looks like."

"Has she ever talked about it? I haven't been here so I don't really know what's been going on between them."

"Nah. Quite frankly, it's the elephant in the room that no one wants to address."

"So, they've just been like that? Nothing's actually changed?"

"Nope. Same ol' Y/N and Seonghwa you know."

"Has Hwa dated anyone?"

"I mean, he's messed around but he hasn't really seriously dated anyone since Linh."

"Okay, so awhile." San nods to himself. "Damn, I don't know. Should I try asking her about it? We are catching up, that's really the main point of this."

"Sure?" Hongjoong shrugs. "I doubt she'd say anything though. Babygirl hasn't opened up to anyone about that and I don't think she will. Just go and enjoy your dinner with Y/N. Whatever happens, happens. Seonghwa will be Seonghwa, and he'll be supportive no matter what." San shakes his head.

"Yeah, I guess so. I just feel kinda bad for even having the thought."

"Seriously. It'll be fine. He'd tell you the same thing, I promise." San shrugs, pushing the idea to the back of his mind. The whole point was to mainly have time to catch up alone, though San isn't gonna shy away from the fact that he is curious to see if he'd have a chance with you.

He knows Hwa would be supportive, but it doesn't stop him from feeling bad. He doesn't wanna hurt anyone, especially friends he hasn't seen in years.

"Should I just wear this sweater?" San turns to Hongjoong, flashing a black sweater his way. Hongjoong is quick to give him a look, immediately shaking his head before laying back down onto the ground; hand tucked behind his head.

"Ew, no. Just throw on a shirt and wear that jacket or something." Joong points at San's black leather jacket. "Black jeans, boots. Simple, but nice."

"You're good at this."

"I thought you'd learn a few things in Barcelona over the past years." Joong shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh. "Guess not."

"Fuck you, dude." San scoffs, heading to the bathroom to get ready. 

It's another 30 minutes before San is finally satisfied with how he looks, rushing Hongjoong out of the door as he grabs his keys and wallet. He's shooting a text your way to let you know he'll be there in a few minutes, and that he'd like to say hi to Yaya and Charli before taking you away for dinner. You simply chuckle and set your phone aside, walking into a cloud of perfume before dabbing some lip gloss onto your lips.

"Who are you eating with, Titi Y/N?"

"One of my good friends, San. You'll meet him soon. He's going to come say hi."

"San?"

"Mhm."

"Is Uncle Hwa his friend, too?"

"Yes." You look at her and brush her hair back. "They're really good friends."

"Is Uncle Hwa going?"

"No, pea."

"Why not?"

"Uncle Hwa has other things to do, too."

"But, Uncle Hwa is always with you—" At this point, Yaya gently knocks on the door and pokes her head in, calling for Charli to come towards her.

"Chacha, let's go." Yaya takes her hand. "We can watch a movie until Auntie Y/N comes back." Yaya looks at you. "Is Sannie almost here? I want to see him—"

"Well, speaking of him." You look over her shoulder and wave at San, who is shyly smiling and waving back. He digs his hands into his pockets and walks over, a subtle rosy tint settling on the surface of his cheeks. It's been a long time, he feels. He hopes Yaya still remembers him and adores him the same way.

"Oh, my Sannie." She says, cupping his cheeks. "It's been awhile, look at you! Still so, so handsome!" He shyly chuckles.

"Hi Yaya. It's nice to see you, too." She dusts off his jacket and continues to throw small compliments his way.

"Promise me you'll stick around next time. I wanna hear your stories, too. I'm sure it was beautiful in Barcelona."

"Yeah, it was fun! It's a date." He smiles before shifting his attention to you and Charli, who is shyly pressing herself against your legs while quietly observing him. "Is this the cutie I've heard all about? Charli?"

"Sure is." You gently squeeze her shoulders. "Say hi, Chacha. That's Titi Y/N's friend, San."

"Hi." She waves before tucking her face into your legs.

"She's really not that shy once she warms up to you." Yaya laughs. "Come on, pea. I've got our movie and popcorn ready to go." She runs to Yaya and grabs her hand. "You two have a good dinner!"

"Thanks, Yaya." San gives her one last hug before waving at Charli. "Shall we?" You nod, walking alongside of him to the car. As always, San opens your door first before climbing in the driver's seat. It's a little quiet and awkward at first because it has been some years since you two have talked. You're sure things have changed for San and vice versa.

But, when you get to the restaurant, you realize he's still the same San you've known all these years.

He awkwardly swings his arm around you, giving your shoulder a small squeeze as you enter the restaurant. He's stiff, unsure of what to do with himself around you, and it kinda makes you giggle.

He's always been like that.

When the host brings you towards the back to your table, his hand slips into yours and it feels.. unnatural for whatever reason. Everything just seems too forced for two people who probably truly adore each other as friends and nothing more. Which, is fine. There's nothing wrong with it. Reality hits you quick when you sit and smile at San in front of you. You know it's not a serious date, and you feel a tad bit bad feeling relieved that it isn't. Even though San looks incredibly good and so, so handsome, the initial infatuation has slipped away from you because San is one of your bestfriends and that's how you've always cherished him.

"So." You giggle when he flips through the menu and shifts in the seat. "How's everything been, Y/N?"

"I don't know, same old, I guess? Yaya's still healthy and going, Soyeon and Junseo are good. Charli's good. Restaurant is busier than ever."

"That's good. Yoongi's still there?"

"Yeup! Jini is there, too. I don't think you've met her, but she's a college student working part-time. My life saver honestly, she gives me a lot of breaks." San chuckles. "How's your family? I'm sure they're happy to have you back."

"Yeah, they're good. They're the same, too. Not much has changed." Your phone dings and it's Seonghwa sending you a random tweet that only you two would understand. He sends the laughing emoji, followed by another text about it. 

"Sorry." You click your phone on the side to lock it.

"It's all good. But, yeah. They're the same."

"Your parents come to the restaurant from time to time."

"I know, they love it there. They've just been so busy lately with renovating the house that they're barely going out."

"Aw." You chuckle. 

"Are you good to order?" You nod, swiftly apologizing when you accidentally kick San's foot under the table before ordering. The silence between you two isn't entirely unsettling, but it does feel weird after years of being away from each other. Plus, San feels like's trying way too hard to make this go a certain way when he shouldn't. 

He's too fixed on it.

"San." You call for him when you find him glancing out the window nervously. "You okay?" You lean onto the palm of your hand and give him a smile.

"Sorry. I'm just nervous and I don't know why."

"Don't be. We've always been friends. Nothing has changed between us." He looks at you and the statement kinda breaks his heart. Maybe you two were really just meant to be friends. "Tell me! How was the program? Barcelona?"

"Ridiculously hard. I literally had no life, kinda why I fell off the grid and barely posted or anything."

"I'm sure it was worth it, no?"

"Definitely. Everything there is so different there. In a good way, though. It felt like a breath of fresh air for me."

"Did you date anyone?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess I'll tell get into that later." He clears his throat. "What about you, though? Are you into anyone?"

"Uh, no. And, I haven't really been seeing anyone."

"Mingi?"

"It was complicated, but I'm finally done with that." You poke at the appetizer that was brought out.

"I'm glad because he doesn't deserve you."

"Hm." You hum. "But otherwise, not much has changed. I think." San watches how you quickly pick up the phone when it dings again, and although it's not really an issue, he can tell how much your body language shifts from the text alone.

It's probably Hwa.

"Y/N. You're one of my really good friends, right?" You giggle and nod.

"Yeah, Sannie."

"So, can I ask you something? I want you to be completely honest with me."

"Of course."

"Is there anything going on between you and Hwa?" You look at him, down at your phone and then back at him. Because no, you're not really sure how to answer the question. Yes, but no? If this were any other day, you'd probably answer confidently. But today, things felt different. You can't say no without automatically second-guessing yourself.

"N-no? Why would you ask that? We've always been this way."

"I know, but. I just.." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Nevermind. It's probably dumb."

"No, tell me." He looks up at you just as he lets out a small breath, cocking his head to the side.

"Don't call me lame or make fun of me, okay?"

"Sannie." You let out a small, playful but defeated chuckle. "I won't, you know me." You take a bite from your plate.

"I don't know, I'm not going to lie. I've always had a little crush on you since we've known each other, and coming back, I truthfully thought it was a phase that might have gone away. It's not. I still have that crush on you, and I thought I'd see where it goes but—" San is rambling and you can't help but let out a small giggle at how frustrated he's getting. "I— I'm rambling. Sorry."

"No, San. It's okay."

"My point is, I thought there was a chance to explore this.. this time around." He gives you a tiny pursed smile. "But, if I'm being honest. I can see the way Seonghwa looks at you. I think we all can."

"Um. I don't know what to say? I don't think he sees me that way."

"Y/N." He cocks his head to the side, giving you a look as to say 'you know better than that.' 

"Seriously!" 

"What about you, though?"

"He's my bestfriend. Of course I love him and adore him to bits." You avoid eye contact and San isn't sure why that's the telling sign for him. But, you've deflected and didn't really answer the question. So, he's not sure what else to think.

"Are you happy?"

"I am."

"Truly happy? With how everything is?"

"I-I don't know. I think so. I'm.. content." He nods because for whatever reason, that answer tells him a lot more than it probably tells you. 

"The last thing I wanna do is ruin things between my friends."

"I—We're just friends, Sannie." You don't even realize how low and pained your voice sounds when you let the response slip from your lips. "I think this is as good as it gets for us." San just looks at you because he notices how you nervously fiddle with your fork and poke with your food. Avoid eye contact. Respond lowly. Maybe you just hate talking about the topic in general. Maybe you do like Seonghwa and you're in denial. Whatever it is, San doesn't think this is as good as it gets for you two.

Which, truthfully, is a little heartbreaking for him. He kinda saw it coming. Everyone did. He just thought there was a possibility since he came back and you two were still just friends.

San can tell Seonghwa will always be number one for you. And that's okay. He's glad he is. You two work well together, and Seonghwa will put his life down for you over anyone. He's just sad because he believed he had a chance and today confirms he doesn't. He never did and he probably won't in the future. 

This is as good as it gets for you two— you two as in you and San. 

"Y/N." He calls for you once more when he notices your attention drifting off to the food on your plate, avoiding all eye contact. 

"Hm?" You hum with a tiny smile.

"You know it's totally okay if there is, right?" You sigh and shrug. "You should just go for it."

"It's just not that easy."

"Whatever it is, I just want you to be genuinely happy." You pause. "And I truthfully think the answer has been in front of you the entire time."

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" You joke and give him a tiny, toothless smile.

"I'm afraid not." He laughs.

"I missed you." You let out a breath, cocking your head to the side as you observe him. Overall, he seems okay. He seems good. He seems happy. 

You adore this Sannie, and you will always adore and cherish him the same way you always have.

"I missed you, too." 

"So, can we talk a bit more about what else you've been up to over there? Your dating stories?"

"I'd be happy to tell you more." San smiles and continues to tell you about his adventures in Barcelona while the two of you dig into your main courses. Exploring and being on his own for the most part. He finally opens up about dating while he was out there, and how he had a few one night stands. He met a girl he did actually get into a rather serious relationship with, but he ended things since he knew he was coming home and didn't want her to plan her life around him. He wasn't the type to do long-distance relationships simply because he knew he wouldn't be able to pull it off.

The rest of dinner goes by smoothly, the two of you thoroughly enjoying each other just letting things be. Dinner made you realize that you missed having San by your side, and it made you remember all the times in college when you sat up late nights talking about everything and anything while everyone was asleep. You missed having that connection with him, and it feels good to have it back.

Though, you won't lie that San is incredibly attractive and someone you'd definitely fall for in another lifetime; being this way, not forcing things between you two and rebuilding your friendship after years felt the most right.

Your heart was just in another place.

When you get home, San opens your door and gives you a quick hug and a kiss to the temple before bidding you goodnight and sending his love to Yaya and Charli. It's just about Charli's bedtime so you quickly pick her up from the house to let Yaya rest and get her ready for bed with a quick wash up. Just as you respond back to Seonghwa's text, a call comes through on your phone from Soyeon.

"Hey." You press the phone against your shoulder while you continue to brush Charli's hair before bed.

"How's my daughter doing?"

"Good. Having the time of her life without you guys, actually." Soyeon laughs.

"Well, at least she isn't giving you problems."

"How's Japan?"

"Good! Warm. Fun."

"Gonna bless me with another niece or nephew?"

"Can you not?" You laugh.

"Doesn't hurt to ask, jeez." 

"Anyway." She clears her throat. "I meant to call because I wanted to ask you about your dinner with San."

"You remembered?"

"Course I did, the heck? I was hoping to hear some juicy details by now."

"Nothing juicy. He's still the same Choi San." You chuckle.

"So, I'm guessing your little crush was actually just a little crush." 

"Hey, he's attractive." You shrug. "But, I think we're always just going to be friends."

"Hm, cause of Hwa?"

"Now, why would you say that?"

"I digress."

"No please, enlighten me. Because even San had asked me if there was anything going on between us."

"Did he now? What'd you say?"

"Yeah, he did. And I said no, because what would be going on between me and Hwa?"

"Nothing." She sighs. But the silence definitely doesn't last long. "You know what, actually. I do appreciate San asking you that question. I wish you'd stop brushing it off." You sigh.

"What am I possibly brushing off?"

"The fact that you probably have feelings for your bestfriend, too. You're just afraid to admit it because you're afraid of things changing, or that Hwa doesn't actually feel the same. We can all see it, Y/N."

"I highly doubt it, it's just how we've grown to be."

"Girl, that man will lay down his life for you and drop everything just to be there for you in a heartbeat. He's done that for you since ever. You still think he doesn't feel that way for you?" Silence. "I'm just saying. A bestfriend doesn't always have to be at your beck and call because you're two different individuals running two very different lives. But quite frankly, Seonghwa is the one exception to that. He puts you before anything and anyone without question. If that ain't true, genuine love Y/N, I don't know what it is."

"You guys make this hard."

"Do we, or are you making it hard for yourself?" You sit and pause some more, quickly running through all of the moments Seonghwa has come to save you throughout the years. Be there for you. Lend an ear. Hug you and console you. Stay up with you. Find you in the rain when your ex-boyfriend let you leave. Held your hair back during shitty, wasted nights. Catered to you while you were sick. Helped your family; Soyeon, Yaya, Charli.

He was so, so immersed in your life that you didn't even realize how much he was. How deep it had gone for you and Seonghwa. How much Seonghwa had been there for you, more than you for him. There was no comparison.

Yet, he never complained once.

He never complained about putting you first.

"Mm, well. Just putting my two cents out there. You know I love you, right? And I just want you happy. Someone like Mingi doesn't deserve a good, beautiful person like you." Soyeon tries to cushion the blow, lecture, whatever you wanna call it, by reminding you about how much she cares for you.

"I know. I love you, too."

"Well, let me know how the aquarium goes tomorrow. And think about it, okay?"

"Mhm. Be safe with Junseo."

"Will be!" She ends the call, leaving you to sit and ponder on your thoughts longer than you'd like. Soyeon was right. You were just afraid, though. Why would Seonghwa have feelings for you like that when you two have known each other for long? You're convinced he'd always see you as his bestfriend, a pain in the ass, the one that he could never explore those territories with.

Today had you questioning everything. Revisiting everything, wondering what signs you've possibly missed. Your dreams. And now, you can't get it out of your head that maybe, you do love your bestfriend. That maybe, your heart was being saved for him. You can't deny the fact that you're curious.

"What's Uncle Hwa doing?"

"I don't know, pea. Probably busy." You finish brushing her hair and let out a breath, relieved Jini was able to help close up tonight and give you a break tomorrow. You were exhausted and you didn't realize just how much.

"Can you call him?"

"Cha, I'm sure he's busy."

"Call, Auntie Y/N. Please." She whines and you sigh, picking up the phone to Facetime Hwa.

"We're seeing him tomorrow, Charli." 

"Ya, but.." Is all she responds with, eyes glued to the tv screen. "I w-wanna talk to Uncle Hwa." 

"About what?"

"Tomorrow."

"He'll come." When Hwa finally picks up the Facetime call, you're only able to see his forehead and his eyes through the screen.

"What?" You furrow your brows at his incredibly sweet greeting.

"Jeez, hi to you, too."

"What're you calling me for?"

"For the record, it's not me calling you. Chacha wanted to talk to you for whatever reason." You hand her the phone. "Here, talk to your oh so loving Uncle Hwa." He snorts.

"Uncle Hwa!" She holds the phone loosely, also only showing off her tiny forehead and eyes through the camera.

"Yes, baby?"

"Are we still going to the aquarium tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we are. I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." She giggles. "With Auntie Y/N, right?"

"Only because she asked to come." You glare at him from afar while fixing in your bathroom.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Laying down. Did you eat?"

"Mama made ramen."

"Hm, okay."

"Say goodbye, Cha. We have to go to bed."

"Oh. I have to go, Uncle Hwa." She looks down into the camera, making Seonghwa chuckle at how cute she looks. "Bye bye!"

"Sleep well, pea." Seonghwa says before clearing his throat. "Actually, can you put Auntie Y/N on the phone really quickly, please?"

"Titi Y/N!" Charli yells loudly. "Phone, phone, phone!"

"Okay, thank you!" You grab the phone from her, Charli running to your bed and getting under the blankets. "What is it?"

"What time do you guys wanna head to the aquarium tomorrow? Do you wanna go as soon as it opens in the morning?"

"Why, do you have other plans?"

"No, I'd rather just get in there when there isn't a big crowd yet."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Breakfast, too?"

"Okay. So, what time should we be ready?"

"9am?"

"Okay."

"Well." Seonghwa shifts in his position. "If you need me again tonight, don't. I'm busy."

"Shut up, doing what?"

"Busy not picking up your calls."

"You idiot." He laughs.

"See you tomorrow. Give Cha a kiss for me." You look into the camera and roll your eyes before shutting off the call and getting into bed with Charli.

"Want some more?" Seonghwa looks at Charli as she eats a tiny cut of his pancake. She happily nods, picking at a blueberry off to the side of her plate. He cuts her a few tiny pieces, setting it onto the top. "What about you?" He looks at you.

"Can I have a little bite?"

"Here." He cuts you a half of his pancake and sets it on your plate.

"Uncle Hwa!"

"Mhm?"

"Do we get to see the penguins? A-and seals? A-and snakes, and jellyfishies, and starfishies!" Seonghwa laughs and nods, setting his empty plate aside.

"Yeah, we'll get to see all of that." Hwa calls the waitress over and immediately hands her his card to pay for the meal.

"Finish your food, pea. We'll see them as soon as you do." 

"I'm done! I'm done!" She giggles.

"One more." Hwa forks the last piece of the pancake slice, popping it into her mouth before wiping away at it. 

"I'm ready!" The waitress hands Seonghwa the receipt, giving him the opportunity to sign off on their receipt copy before tucking his away in his wallet.

"Good, me too!" He smiles at her and carries her out of the restaurant. You trail behind, watching as Seonghwa points at the birds flying around near the beach. The aquarium and restaurant were nestled on a small street right by the beach, gift shops and other cafes sitting alongside of them. It surprisingly isn't too busy yet, though you know the street and the aquarium will become crowded in the next hour or so. Seonghwa pauses in his steps and turns to wait for you while Charli continues to point out the seagulls sitting on the edge of the wooden rail that lines the walkway to the beach. 

"Let me pay for the aquarium tickets."

"Nah, it's good. Don't worry about it."

"Hwa, you paid for our breakfast already."

"It's okay." He looks at you. "I wanted to take Charli out today."

"Oh, not me?"

"Not really." You playfully pinch him, causing Hwa to let out a small groan and a laugh. "I'm kidding. Seriously, it's not a big deal."

"Thank you." You give him a cute, toothless smile. After Charli finishes observing the seagulls around the beach, the three of you continue to walk towards the aquarium. Cars are slowly piling into the free spots on the road, and the street is becoming busier by the minute. The three of you wait at the corner of the street, waiting for the walk sign to come on in order to cross and finally make it to the aquarium. Just as the light turns red and switches the walk sign on, you step forward to make it across. But, you pause in your steps when you realize the oncoming car isn't stopping any time soon and Seonghwa picks up on it quick. He grabs onto your hand tightly and pulls you back, keeping Charli close to his side when the car continues to run the red light— barely slowing its speed.

"Idiot." He mutters to himself before looking at you, the both of your hands clasped together. "Careful." 

"Thanks, pichu." He gives you a tiny smile before leading the way down the crosswalk, still holding onto your hand with Charli on his other. You like the way Seonghwa's hand fits so effortlessly into yours, the way it feels so natural, so meant to be—

"Uncle Hwa! Look!" Charli releases her grip from Seonghwa's hand and runs towards the seal statue near the ticket window. Seonghwa lets go of yours in an effort to run after her and make sure she doesn't wander too far, leaving you behind; suddenly feeling cold, empty. He doesn't spare a look back at you, busy snapping Charli's pictures while she poses next to the statue. You slowly head over, chuckling as Charli directs him on how to shoot the pictures. 

"Look." Seonghwa shows her the pictures. "I'll send it to your mom and dad."

"Aw, Chacha. You look so cute. Who taught you how to pose like that?"

"You. And Mama." You laugh, fixing her piggytails while Seonghwa sends the pictures off and heads over to the window to buy the tickets. You hold onto Charli's hand as you two slowly approach the entrance, Seonghwa waving the tickets in the air to show off to Charli before handing it to the person at the door.

It's a slow start at first, with Charli glued to your hip as she holds your hand— bright eyes full of curiosity as they examine the surroundings. Seonghwa grabs a pamphlet that has the aquarium map included, suggesting to go straight into the marine life and coral reef section. As you walk in, the area is dimly lit, with the only light from the tanks bouncing off of the walls. Charli's eyes glow as she runts to the first tank full of jellyfish swimming around. She squeals when she waddles over to the clownfish touch pool, Seonghwa coming to her side and guiding her little finger across the surface to get a feel for their calcified skin. You giggle when she whines a bit at the feeling, Seonghwa reassuring her that they wouldn't bite or bother her. 

Safe to say she was over it pretty quickly.

Eventually, you reach the coral reefs. Your eyes light up as you scan the entire tank against the wall, a variety of sea life co-existing and swimming through the clean waters. You sit Charli on the edge of the rail while you hold her close, letting her get up close and personal to the variety of fish swimming around the reefs. She looks up in awe, squealing and giggling to her heart's content when they pass her by and go along their merry way. Seonghwa comes from behind, surprising you with how close his chest is to your back.

"Chacha, did you see that?" He points from behind, chest now barely grazing your back. Any other time, you probably wouldn't have cared or looked into it much. But for some reason, today is different. You're not sure if it's because of the dream you had, or Soyeon's phone call— either or, or both. But today is different. You can't help but fix on how close Seonghwa's face would be if you were to turn to your left, on how he could literally engulf you in his arms and hold you close.

And the funny thing is, you don't think you'd push him away or dislike it one bit.

As if the universe was tuning into your thoughts, a fish comes swimming closely near the glass, causing Seonghwa to press up against your back and hold Charli's hand to the surface. He doesn't seem to pay any attention to what he's doing, chuckling with Charli as he continues to tell her what kind of fish it is. This might be a normal thing to him but to you, it's not.

Because now, your heart is beating against your chest [you hope to God he doesn't feel it]. Your palms feel sweaty. You're swallowing the lump in your throat. The room feels a teeny bit hotter.

"Titi Y/N, let's go!" Chacha whines a bit. You snap out of the trance you were just in, even though Seonghwa hasn't done much to create distance behind you. He looks down at you from the side, cocking a brow when he notices your delayed reaction.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry." You put Charli down, following her direction as she leads you into the kelp forest exhibit, pointing at all the different fish she sees. There's a play area off to the side that she instantly finds interest in once she's gotten a good look at the sea life, romping around and digging her hands into the different activities laid out for toddlers. Seonghwa lingers around to supervise, with you trailing slowly after you've gotten to indulge in the exhibit. You loop your arm around Seonghwa's and he lets you, keeping you close to his side as Charli continues to play around in the play area.

"Hey, thanks for taking us today." He looks down at you and lets out a breathy chuckle.

"Wow, a thank you that I didn't have to initiate? That's a first." You gently punch him.

"I'm serious, pichu!"

"It's no biggie. As long as Chacha's happy."

"Yeah, she is."

"So, you never told me."

"What?"

"How was that dinner with Sannie?" Seonghwa asks, avoiding eye contact.

"It was cool. We mainly caught up." You shrug.

"That's all?"

"Why, do you think there's more? Did Sannie say something to you?" You nervously poke at him, but you're not sure if you're helping your case or making it worse.

"What?" Seonghwa looks at you. "I'm asking you. He didn't say anything to me."

"Oh, yeah. We just caught up about life. His program. Family stuff. Things you already know."

"Uh huh." Seonghwa cocks a brow up. "Why are you being so weird then?"

"I'm not!"

"Did he say something to you?"

"Seonghwa, no. I'm not being weird about anything."

"You're also a very bad liar."

"I'm not even lying, though." You sigh and let go of his arm. He won't let up, and it's only because you're so close to cracking. Even though San truthfully didn't mention anything specific about the dinner, you've been acting weird since he picked you up this morning. The way you look at him feels different, and the way you've been latching onto him is different. Not that he's complaining, but something has shifted in the air and he doesn't know what to make of it. But what he does know is you— he knows you, so, so well, and thats one thing he won't lose at. "I just—"

"Auntie! Uncle Hwa! Let's go to the penguins!" Charli yells as she runs towards you and grabs your hand. She begins to drag you over, telling you to hurry. "Uncle Hwa, come on!" You look at him and subconsciously grab for his hand to drag him along at the three year old's speed. Seonghwa follows along, having to pick up Charli in his arms so she's able to see properly. When he lets go of your hand, your heart sinks a bit and it must have registered on your face because Seonghwa has to do a double take. He catches how your smile fades and how you awkwardly fiddle with your fingers while looking out at the penguins. You brush it off pretty quickly though, with the way you giggle with Charli and pinch her cheeks when she happily waves at them. "I wanna go see the big dinos now!" She points to the dinosaur exhibit just down the other end of the room. 

"Okay, let's go!" Seonghwa looks at you and holds out his arm, hoping that's the kind of comfort you were seeking for. Truthfully, he knows what you're asking for but part of him isn't sure why. And to be fair to you, to himself, he'll continue to keep it at bay until he's sure of what you're asking from him.

He doesn't wanna get his hopes up because it'll break him if you don't genuinely feel the same way he does.

And lowkey, he is a bit confused as to why you're acting needy all of a sudden. You've had your moments but Seonghwa knew to play it off because it felt innocent, like a bestfriend-honestly-bothering-her-bestfriend-just-because-he's-there kinda thing. Today, it didn't feel that way, especially when he looks at you and it seems like you wanna say something but you don't. Especially when you tug on his arm ever so subtly, hand teasing his so closely by the wrist.

What is it about today?

Why were you sending him mixed signals?

"What were you gonna say earlier?" Seonghwa asks while you continue to cling onto his arm.

"Oh, nothing." You decide you won't tell him about San's questions, or his sudden deep-dive into your relationship and feelings. You're hoping it stays between you two because lord knows you aren't ready to tackle that subject with Seonghwa right now, nor do you think Seonghwa would actually feel the same. Or, have the patience to deal with all the jumbled thoughts in your head about him. Little do you know. "We just caught up. That's all."

"Are you sure that was it? You know I hate liars, Y/N."

"Well, the subject about dating came up." You run through the sentence so fast that Seonghwa has to look down at you while trying to read into your expression. Whatever it was that was bothering you, he hopes you can talk to him about it. He'd be there to listen and offer his guidance no matter what. 

Always you first.

"What about dating?"

"He asked if I was into anyone." You generally state now that Seonghwa's indulging in the conversation.

"Hope you didn't say Song Mingi." You gently nudge him.

"No, I didn't." You roll your eyes. 

"Did you tell him you had a crush on him?"

"No."

"Hm." Seonghwa hums. "I still don't understand where you're going with this? What happened between you two?"

"Nothing."

"At all?"

"Look. I went to dinner with San and as I sat there, I realized he's still the Sannie I adore from years before. I just couldn't see him any other way."

"Whatever happened to 'he's so cute, Hwa'?" He mocks you. "Sannie is soooo cute, he would never date me." Seonghwa continues. "He'd never give me a chance, would he? Huhuhu—" His bottom lip pokes out.

"Quit, what is wrong with you!"

"I didn't say it, you did."

"I just realized some things, and I think he did, too."

"You're being so fucking cryptic, it's making my head hurt." Seonghwa rolls his eyes before returning his attention to Charli playing around with the dinosaur activities.

"How am I being cryptic?"

"You tell me everything, yet you can't even tell me what happened during your dinner with San without beating around the bush." You look at him with a small pout and he almost feels his knees buckling because god, he is so weak for you sometimes. But, because of that, he finds himself getting easily frustrated when you can't just be straight up with him. "So, where does this leave you two?"

"As friends. Like we always were." You tug on his wrist. "Hypothetically speaking, if we were to date, would that ruin things between us?" Seonghwa swallows the lump in his throat before shaking his head.

"Why would it ruin things between us?"

"I don't know, because we've always known each other like this. As bestfriends. It could be a dangerous thing, right? Cause we'd know too much about each other or whatever." You look up at him, and he locks his eyes with yours. He wishes he could say everything and nothing at once— but he sticks with the latter, his own example of keeping everything at bay. 

"I truthfully don't think it'd ruin anything."

"B-because I feel like it would and that's why I'm just letting things be with San."

"You sure that's it? Cause I feel like you're asking for a different reason, and not for San in particular." He tilts his head to the side, and you're afraid he's reading into your mind. He's good at that shit, and you hate it.  Because no, that's not it. He must know, that's why he's looking into your soul, patiently waiting for the truth to come out. "Y/N, I think—"

Seonghwa is why. He is the reason why you can't find yourself moving anywhere with San.

"I'm done! Let's go!" Charli runs up to Hwa's legs, interrupting the staring contest you two had going on just as he was about to carry on. You clear your throat and step away from him, focusing your attention on Charli.

"Wanna see all the bugs and snakes, pea? They're down there in that small section." You point down the hall and she grabs your hand. 

"Yes! Let's go, let's go!" She repeatedly yells. "Uncle Hwa, come on! Slow poke!" He chuckles to himself, following the both of you into the insects exhibit.

As you, Charli and Seonghwa continue to go through the rest of the aquarium, you find yourself focusing on how well Seonghwa takes care of Charli. He continues to keep her smiling; throwing giggle fits when he swoops her into his arms and blows raspberries against her tummy. He patiently walks through every exhibit with her hand in his, pointing at the animals while giving her a fun fact or two. You rarely have to lift a finger because Seonghwa continues to keep her occupied, while also keeping you happy. 

You don't have to ask for anything, and Seonghwa continues to deliver.

Towards the end, Charli asks for Seonghwa to take her into the gift shop. You find yourself wandering around, eyes fixed on the cute octopus plush they have on display. You set it down, convincing yourself you don't really need the damn thing [but it'd be nice]. By the time you've made your way around the store, you catch Seonghwa and Charli at the register— the same octopus plush in his hands. For a minute, you think it's for Chacha until you realize she already has a turtle plush she's hugging close to her chest. It isn't until Seonghwa turns towards you with a small smile, digging his wallet back into his pocket.

"Here."

"What, this is mine?"

"I wasn't the one looking at it." Seonghwa chuckles a bit. "Take it before I regret it."

"Hwa." You whine a bit, bottom lip poking out into a pout. "You didn't have to."

"You looked like you were having trouble putting it down so yeah, I guess I kinda had to."

"You paid for everything today." He shrugs.

"It's fine. I don't always find myself here, anyway." You hug him tightly, taking everything in while he pretends to be disgusted by the affection. "Please."

"You love me."

"I was forced to." You playfully punch him as you pull away, causing him to let out a small 'ow.'

"By the way, were you gonna say something earlier before Chacha dragged us to the insects?" Seonghwa pauses and he wants to yes. He does want to say something. He knows you weren’t talking about San. He wants you to know you’re all he wants. He wants to say he loves you, and adores you, and wants to take care of you if you'd just let him.

"Nah. It wasn't anything."

"You sure?" 

"Mhm." You look at him and subtly frown at the way he looks conflicted, puzzled. But, he brushes off quick cause he knows you'll read into him, too.

"Mmkay then. Are you going to stay at my place for a bit or just drop us off?"

"I'll hang out for a bit. Ready?" He looks down at Charli, who has been entirely smitten over her turtle plush these past few minutes. She's completely oblivious to you two, barely paying any attention now that she has a new toy in hand.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." He nods in agreement, crouching down to Charli's level. "Ready to go, Chacha?"

"Yes please." She nods, letting Seonghwa hold her hand.

"You tired? Did you have fun at least?"

"I did." Is all Charli says as you make your way out of the now very busy aquarium. She yawns as she holds her turtle plush tight against her chest. Seonghwa pauses in his steps and waits for you to walk alongside of him, never wanting you to get left behind or lose sight of you. Once you finally catch up, you hold onto his arm while navigating through the crowded streets. Eventually, Seonghwa has to carry Charli and hold your hand in order to breeze through the rest of the crowd. 

"Are you guys hungry for anything? Need anything before we go home?" The question slips from Seonghwa's lips so naturally, it almost seems like this is a normal, daily routine for you two. You nod though, remembering you do have a few groceries you'd like to grab. 

Seonghwa doesn't complain. 

He takes you to the market to give you some time to grab your groceries, staying in the car while Charli naps in her carseat. You're in and out, gently setting your bags on the floor in the backseat before settling into the passenger's seat. You and Seonghwa don't talk much on the way back home for the sake of Charli, only chiming in when you or Seonghwa have a pressing question to ask the other.

When you finally touch base at home, Charli wakes up in Seonghwa's arms while he carries her into your suite. You usher her into the bathroom for a quick bath before slipping her into some comfy pajamas. Seonghwa is relaxing on the couch, randomly watching Loki while waiting for you two to be finished.

"What're you gonna cook for dinner later?"

"Not sure. I might see what Yaya has. I'm too lazy." He chuckles.

"Put those groceries to use." He stands and heads to the kitchen. "I can make something, but it'll sit out for awhile until dinner."

"It's fine." You brush Charli's wet hair before sitting her in between your lap to dry her hair. "What're you doing later anyway?"

"Nothing."

"Why don't you just hang out and stay or something?"

"You want me to?"

"Why not?" He shrugs.

"Don't wanna invade your space or whatever you say." You laugh.

"I'm telling you to stay."

"Alright then." 

"Don't sound too excited, jeez." He laughs. 

"What do you want me to say?" Seonghwa smiles and gently tickles at Charli's stomach. "At least I'll be with Chacha!" She giggles as you continue to dry her hair. "Gonna wash up." He heads to your closet to go through the random assortment of bottoms and tops that you've borrowed [kept].

Throughout the rest of the afternoon and early evening, Seonghwa indulges in Charli's antics and plays along with her— giving you some time to clean around the suite and help Yaya with a few things in the house. As night time falls, Seonghwa is quick to make dinner for you and Chacha, putting all of the cooked dishes in front of you on the coffee table while you watch a movie with Charli. Once he's satisfied and cleans up after himself in the kitchen, he settles on the opposite side of Charli and indulges in Encanto playing loudly on the screen.

After dinner, you help Seonghwa clean up before you're getting Charli ready for bed and tucking her in. Seonghwa has made a little bed in your tiny living room area floor— pushing the coffee table up so that you three can lay comfortably. When Monsters University comes on, you find that Seonghwa is invested but.. isn't? He's constantly checking his phone, and you shouldn't be annoyed because it's probably the boys.

But, you are.

It's probably the boys.

Right?

Why does it matter?

"Are you watching?" You squint at him and he quickly finishes his text before he plops the phone down on his chest and looks at you.

"Yeah?"

"No, you're not." You give him a look. "Are you texting the boys?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He teases and you roll your eyes. "I'm kidding. Yes, and someone I met a couple of days ago."

"What? You never told me about that."

"I didn't tell you because it's just that. We met and we're just casually talking about things."

"A girl?" He nods.

"Uh huh. Her cousin plays for the football team and she was visiting during training."

"Oh, interesting. Are you like.. interested in her?" You divert your attention to the movie.

"Uh." Seonghwa pauses and shrugs, even if you aren't looking at him. "I'm just seeing where things go? Do I need to have a reason right now?"

"No. I'm just wondering." He picks up his phone again when it dings.

"But Uncle Hwa, I thought Titi Y/N was y-your girlfriend." She stutters as she keeps her eyes on the movie.

"Mm, she is my friend who is a girl, Chacha. My bestfriend."

"But, my mommy said—"

"Okay, let's watch the movie, pea." You cut her off and she happily obliges. "You too, Uncle Hwa." You glare at him once more before smacking him on the bicep.

"Ouch, stop. I'm watching." He whispers harshly, yet continues to text.

"Pichu." You whine "You stop." He grabs your hand before you could land your next hit. He chuckles as he holds onto it, not wanting to let go but to also make his point that you aren't winning this fight. "Hwa." You whine even more.

"I win."

"Fine." You pout and he pinches your cheek.

"Loser." He smiles. "I'm watching, okay? I'm done." He sets his phone to the side and gives you a look. "See?"

"Mhm. What else could possibly be more important than us?"

"Drama." He laughs. "Why does it matter anyway, you're gonna fall asleep in two—"

"Uncle Hwa, Titi Y/N. Movie." Charli says looking at the both of you before shifting her attention back to the TV. You pinch Seonghwa on the shoulder, causing him to silently wince in pain before the both of you finally pay attention to the movie.

It's not long before you feel your eyes getting heavy, and you hate to admit that Seonghwa knows you so well. Charli hadn't fallen asleep too long ago, sandwiched in between you and Seonghwa— her hair a mess on the pillow. She's letting out some soft snores, her hand resting lazily on her chest. 

She must've had a long, but good and fun day.

Seeing her this comfortable and content makes you even more sleepy. So much more sleepy that within the next scene, you're fast asleep with your head resting against Chacha's. Seonghwa figures it's a bit too quiet— too quiet especially for someone like you, who is the main yapper between the two of you.

He looks at you and smiles softly to himself.

His heart does a thing; it always does a thing, but in these moments it feels too intense for him to register. He just wants this.

And it's so hard for him to fight it off when there's that glimmer of hope saying you feel the same way.

That you want this, too.

Especially after today. Because he knows you well, so well, and he knows there are things you meant to say but you couldn't. He understands, though. He wants to say a lot, he's just not sure how. But god, does he hope he's right for once. 

He hopes that you are looking at him in a different light, he hopes that you've realized he'd been here all along.

"If only you knew." He whispers. "Night, Y/N." He says softly before pulling the blanket up to cover you perfectly, brushing the hair away from your face before shutting off the TV and laying on his back to stare at the ceiling.

He just hopes for you, and you only.

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @lyracarvahall @huachengsbestie01 @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℝ𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕓𝕠𝕨 ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕞𝕠𝕟𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @vodka-glrl @wholesaleboi

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Rainbow Harmony - Saki Tenma

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

"<And finally! We can go to restaurant!>"

"<Sounds amazing! Tho are you sure we'll be able to do it all in just few hours?>"

"<Yup! Just trust the expert here~>"

"<Okeyyy I'll see you in a bit!>"

You chuckled to yourself and rolled your eyes as you walked through streets, slowly walking towards your house to get changed. Your girlfriend had AMAZING ideas for the date!

Even tho it was a bit too much and you began questioning her ability to plan for a millisecond... you decided to trust her in the end! After all, she IS the expert as she called herself~

You walked towards your front door, opening when... you felt your shoulder getting a bit wet? You stocked your hand our and... as you thought, it began raining!

You shrugged not thinking much about it and entered your place to chance. Simple rain won't ruin your date after all!

That's what YOU thought. But Saki... after rain continues for 10 more minutes and only got stronger, she texted you.

"<Hey... I hate to be like that but maybe we should reschedule our date? This rain doesn't look too good...>"

Confused you looked out the window... it wasn't that bas for you! And even if, there's still plenty of ways to have fun!

"<Oh don't worry! We can being umbrellas and instead of going to fancy restaurant we can go somewhere more casual!>"

"<Yeah but... We might get sick...?>"

You got a quick switch. Right! She must be worried... poor thing... You knew her past and you decided in that moment that you'll turn gray memory of rain into something pretty!

"<Just trust the expert~?>"

"<Hah if you say so! Alright!>"

You smiled to yourself as you saw you convinced her to give this weather a try. A plan already forming in your head as you decided that YOU will be the one planning dates this time for a change!

You pulled out 2 raincoats from your closet and 2 umbrellas, one smaller just in case if she didn't wanted to share or if you'd have to part ways... and you were ready to go!

On your way to Tenma's household you planned few places with warm drinks and food to warm up after you have fun in the rain!

And then... you knocked...

"Oh hi Y/N! So... wow... you're really sure... I don't have a raincoat tho since-"

"Don't worry about it! I thought about it!"

You pulled second raincoat out. It was a bit colorful, hoping it'd encourage her to take it. And it certainly did!

"Trust me, I promise we won't get sick. And even if we will, I'll be laying in that bed with you!"

"Haha! And I thought I was the energetic one here!"

"Maybe? But even if, I can have my moments, y'know?"

"Alright... well I guess we're spending time indoors mostly tho?"

She asked after closing front door behind her and beginning to walk with you.

"Kind of~ But we may also have fun! I mean... puddles are for something!"

"Do you want to jump into them?! You could've told me! I would've brought the right shoes with me!!"

"Hah, no, absolutely not! I didn't either! I was thinking of more like... jumping through puddles?"

"That's... well.. sure why not I guess! Might as well give it a try!"

She was most likely about to disagree but you were glad she didn't... it kinda would've ruined your plan of making her see rain in better light!!

"C'mon then! I got you!"

You grabbed her hand and pulled her to run across the street with you.

"HAAH?! W-Wait slow down! Not fair, I wasn't expecting this sudden move!!"

"3...2...1...Jump!!"

You chuckled as even tho you caught her off guard, she still jumped with you throguh plenty of puddles like little kids! Not only that... after some time she began having fun herself! Quite enjoying making fun of each other whenever someone got a bit of water on themselves, but not to a worry level!

"Hahaha! Hey how about big one over there! We can make it!"

"Of course we can!! And there's also a nice cafe there so we can go there as our little award!"

"Ooh~ Yeah absolutely! C'mon, on 3!"

You nodded taking her hand. You two ran together as she counted up and when she said "3", you both jumped as far as you could and successfully passed the puddle!

"We did it!!"

"Of course we did!"

"Now we can go for nice warm drink~"

You could see her jumping while walking ahead of you, passing you by. You were about to catch up when you froze upon seeing pretty rainbow~ It was always four favorite thing about the rain~

You were pretty much enjoying the view, forgetting about the world when suddenly, a high voice you loved called our to you.

"Y/NNN!! C'mon! They have your favorite drink here!"

"Ah- Sorry, coming!!"

You rushed to catch up with her, deciding to save this rainbow and mention it when you have a drink~ After all, it's nothing better than nice view, drink and company!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[syncogon]

inktober 2024 review

Completed Inktober 2024! Last time I did this was in 2018, with some dinky little doodles in a notebook. Now I'm learning digital 💪

Prompts were from the QZGS rarepair week for 2024 and 2023. Next year perhaps I'll continue going down the list. I tried to have a specific area/skill I wanted to work on with each day.

Sharing my favorites here! The rest are all at @synco-arts. Please click for full size / colors!

5) "fragile": [RS] This is my favorite shot of the Rainbow Sea OP, which is already such a banger full of symbolism and narrative. The way this moment is directed to make you think you're watching Maidang himself, until the moment he punches and the mirror shatters and you realize—oh, his Rainbow Stone was on the wrong wrist, it was a reflection all along. Timed to the music, it's so excellently done...

9) "wait": [GFS] X waits, alone and helpless, for news of his father's surgery. He can only watch from afar, and the framing of the background is meant to evoke his car window. He didn't want news of his current situation to cause stress that would worsen his father's heart condition, but his absence is already causing stress enough—yet this was the only course he felt he could take to save his family...

13) "caution": [RS] I love Tang Wude and I love this moment, what can I say? Strolls in looking wack and casual, and then immediately establishes dominance over a crew of criminals. Umbrella users my beloved. This one might be my favorite overall due to all the colors and lighting, and the background was so much fun to draw!

17) "precious": [YB2] Eighth Room is so precious to me. Just look at them! I think this was the one I spent the most time on? This is a redraw of a shot from one of the reality shows the actors filmed together. Spent some time debating what hairstyles to give them; I need to give it some more thought still.

18) "abandon": [TKA] I want to get better at putting together nice sketch pages! Also at hands lol. I was surprised? impressed? that I managed to make Tyranny ZJL look older and more tired compared to HB ZJL—I'm not sure if it was even so distinct in the original.

19) "past": [YB1] I liked the composition of these images, and drawing this moment upon the brushstrokes of the background. I think about this flashback and cri everytime

23) "foreign": [YB2] I wanted to practice side profiles, didn't like how his turned out, but then really DID like the second sketch I did, which was way more fun than I anticipated. He looks cool! Maybe too cool. The extremely intricate outfits are fun to depict in sketch form, and I like his hairstyle here even though everyone was roasting it lol. The lines of the background are just roughly meant to evoke what was actually in the bg of the reference shot, but I quite liked the effect.

25) "freedom": [YB2] I just really like how Chu Niao turned out here, with the details of her costume and her expression. Look at them talking about their future 🥺

26) "peak": [YB2] I think this was the only painterly one I did, but I liked how the vibes turned out—the half-obscured fire, the costume of a god, the crouched figures, the distant mountains and clouds. A unique shot that should be very distinct to those who've watched.

29) "color": [YB2] As you can see I was feeling very emo about YB2 in the latter half of the month haha. This was such an emotionally charged scene and there are 3000 words packed into Wen Wuqi's glance back as Hua Cishu carefully avoids meeting the gaze of someone he's not supposed to know...

[crooked4913-blog]

I HAVE A CONFESSION!

Something I need off my chest...

Sometimes I wanna call people sir or mistress to see their reaction..

And you were gonna be one of them😔

Story time, because I need to explain why this is funny to me.

This might get kinda spicy under the cut and it's not skeleton related so feel free to move right along if your only here for skeleton content.

So way back in the early 2010s before I had come out or even realized that I was bi instead of straight I had these two really good friends.

We're gonna call them Kirk and Chekov.

To set the scene more, this was the deep south in the usa. Like deeeeeep south. One of my parents never learned to read or write south.

My graduating class was like 60 people and I had known all of them except 3 since elementary school.

That brings us to Chekov.

She transferred in our sophomore year of highschool and I instantly developed what I thought was a girl crush, but was just a crush crush.

Chekov was a very openly pansexual scene kid. If you don't know what that is you might be to young to be on my blog but I'll explain anyway.

She would come to school in a black tutu looking skort, rainbow legging, my chemical romance shirt, and big fluffy boots. Not to mention the electric fucking blue hair extensions.

Again in the deep south. Before she moved there my group of friends were the most alternative kids there, and we just wore jeans and guns and roses/Metallica tees.

She was so freaking cool!!!!

So with that out of the way, me and Kirk would write smut together and share it with Chekov.

(PSA you shouldn't do this because in my state that's distributing pornographic content to a minor, but we were also minors and we didn't know that at the time.)

So we were sharing this smut and one day Chekov goes, "dang I wish someone would choke me like that."

My little deep in the closet self, thought flirting with Chekov was a safe way to kinda dip my toe into the maybe not straight pool.

So I said, "I could choke you baby."

She laughed and said, "that's so cute." And patted my head like a dog.

I insisted. "No really, I can have top energy."

And she said, "I can just imagine it. You would be trying to be all tough and sexy and I couldn't stop thinking about how cute a little you are."

Lol I was so offended, but now I have accepted that I cannot be mistress.

I'm baby.

And it's chronic.

Chronically baby.