#might delete this later too idk

[3-xenomorph-gfs]

hoping this doesn't blow up so i don't get some shit from hashtag fandom moms, but i feel like we need to talk about what the monster boyfriend trope reveals about how (generally cis and/or het and/or white) women think about men

[chiricat]

assorted wips again

1. anchan space buns!!

2. emo arisato twins + ryomina and akiham

3. mzen x p3

4. suzalulu sketch dump

5. suzalulu + souyo (eng voice actor joke)

[daz4i]

actually i wanna rant a little and unfortunately this will be difficult to do w/o naming the characters themselves and the context for this post. sorry

after 2.6 came out i saw ppl discuss his morality and talk abt how his whole "shoot bad guys" monologue is bad and how it feels like hoyo is trying to make him out to seem like a good guy when he does things that we would absolutely consider to be bad irl (like physically attacking or threatening people to get what he wants for example)

which. like. 1 he's fictional why are you judging him by irl standards. like you do you but this feels like a lot of energy being put into smth that's gonna keep happening forever and ever

2 that's kind of the point?? he's meant to be this archetype of a gruff cowboy who doesn't play by the rules, and these characters are often morally grey. hoyo ofc try to make him look good bc this is a gacha game and they need their characters to be likeable in order to sell, but like. this archetype has been enjoyed by many for nearly a century atp (if not more)

3 hsr is very comedic and he plays into that which is another reason why a lot of the bad shit he does is brushed off as a joke. i don't think it quite normalizes his behavior, i think the playerbase is mature enough to not glorify these actions if someone does them irl

speaking of jokes tho this brings me to the more recent trigger for this post and that's ratio

i'm a little 😐 abt how ppl try to paint him as morally pure and like he would never do anything bad to hurt someone in any way

WRONG! while he wouldn't put anyone *in danger*, he. like. very plainly hurts people. emotionally mostly but i assume grabbing someone and throwing them out of class or throwing (fake?) chalk at someone's head is gonna leave a bruise too. it's not anything big and it is very much presented as a joke (or even a positive thing in the first case) bc why make a big deal out of it. hsr isn't that sort of story

and a lot of ppl tend to focus on things like this^ to paint him as horrible too which is also missing the point and ignoring the good he does but that's whatever, everyone has the right to be wrong ♡

anyway he worked for years on an "anti planetary weapon". moving on

he works for the intelligentsia guild which, putting aside the fact that they're a faction of the ipc and he explicitly says himself that he works with the ipc too (in his conversation with sunday in 2.1. also like. his actual work in said patch), they're literally soooooo shady. 2.4 shows it well, with their. weird fucking mechas. idk if he took part in this project but i don't think he was oblivious to it either, he's not stupid, i assume he knows what the organization he belongs to does

(unknowable domain shows even more examples of how shady the guild is as well as the council of mundanites inside it - which ratio is also a part of - but the whole story revolves around a character who *isn't* as evil so like. nothing saying he can't be like her. and i assume he is bc he ultimately does have good goals. you just can't deny this connection tho)

and. this is in reference to a specific post i saw earlier today. abt how he would oppose dr primitive. which, ig? his atavistic research, probably, yeah. but he does bring primitive up during 1.6 and it's not in any negative sense, just agreeing with a thing he said once (it's just interesting that they chose this exact genius society member that was gonna turn out to be. well. bananas. sorry for the pun i will see myself out) so i think he can still appreciate his intellect

basically he's just more complex than "he is purely good and only seeks to help no matter what and only does what's good for everyone" or the way ppl look at his meanness as actual evil. i don't think he has evil inside him - as of what we know about him right now - but he's also not 100% morally pure mostly bc he is still a person and it's impossible to be both

also let me once again remind everyone that argenti's hair turned red from blood bc of how much he killed 👍 (also he forced velite to swear loyalty to idrila for him to save him which is. not great)

^these last 2 sections sound like i'm canceling them or smth lmao sorry. my point is, they're interesting and fun BECAUSE they're not just. morally pure or always good

and sometimes i will read a fic that shows them unable to do any wrong ever, in ratio's case always being careful with his words and taking extra steps to not hurt anyone and such. idk man i just think it's boring. he cares but he is not caring, imo, if that makes sense

hate when ppl sand down characters' morality 😔 why are you making them boring... they need to make mistakes or have flaws... for enrichment (both theirs and mine)

[loemius]

here’s my hot take of the night:

the e-temples that have been cropping up lately are cool, and im glad to see people making specific spaces to come together to worship. that’s awesome! i’m very here for that as a concept. i love nothing more than to see the theoi get the praise they deserve.

that being said, i am very wary about the amount of people i have seen calling themselves priests/priestesses lately. not even just in the e-temples! ive seen multiple people in the tags who have in their bio “priest(ess) of [deity].” i realize most people probably don’t mean harm by it, but it gets under my skin. to call yourself clergy implies a specific level of knowledge and experience with a religion (which isn’t my business to get involved in your praxis like that, that’s personal unless you wanna share it), but more importantly, official recognition by an established institution. there are not that many of these (that i am aware of) for hellenic polytheism. calling yourself clergy is simply that — calling yourself that. there’s no backing for it, and it genuinely concerns me.

we as the polytheist community talk a lot about harmful practices in spirituality, things like spiritual psychosis or cultural appropriation, which are important topics to discuss. it’s been said before and i’ll say again — people claiming to be spiritual authorities of some kind without any kind of proof can be very dangerous. i don’t assume anyone has bad intentions. i give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that everyone is just trying to help other people worship. but it doesn’t change the fact that calling yourself a priest(ess) will make impressionable or unsure people look up to you, and that is a hell of a lot of responsibility. i am concerned that there are minors running these kinds of blogs. that’s a lot of pressure on someone’s shoulders, especially to put on someone who is still growing up and developing their research and critical thinking skills. i don’t want to gatekeep or anything like that. im very glad to see minors having really good experiences with their faith, that they’re excited to share it with others. but it just concerns me.

im certainly not as experienced as other practitioners on this site, having had about two years of experience at this point, but i am very wary of anyone who claims to be any kind of authority on anything unless you can back it up. regardless of if your blog says that you’re not an authority, calling yourself clergy of any kind implies that. people will take it that way. it inherently implies a level of authority, knowledge, and experience on a particular subject, which is usually backed up by having an official institution that recognizes you.

perhaps this is a little callous of me, but in the same way that when someone makes a claim about the theoi academically, i expect them to have sources to prove it, i expect clergy to have some kind of proof of their authority. otherwise, what are you doing that’s different than any other tumblr blog?

to be clear, i don’t have an issue with these devotional spaces. i simply take an issue with people referring to themselves as clergy when that is a particular term with a particular context and a particular implication. words have power. i earnestly think if people just called themselves something like ‘stewards’ of a particular temple, i wouldn’t be so bothered by it. or just call yourself a devotee of a particular god. ultimately, at the end of the day, the words we use have power and implications, and that has to be acknowledged and respected. send tweet

[meaningless-mayhem]

Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"

But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.

One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo

[artsymeeshee]

one of those nights

[ivanttakethis]

Ah yes, another reminder that Ivan suffered from the beginning of his life to the very end of it and was never loved and always felt alone and never felt worthy of anything cAN WE PLEASE TAKE A BREAK DEAR GOD

[cactusisconfused]

I’m having ✨thoughts✨

Aroace(?) Soap

-

Soap doesn’t understand why he feels this way for Ghost- he’s never felt this way before. Not for anyone. No woman, no man- no one.

Yet when Soap is around Simon, his mind swarms with thoughts he’s never had before. Thoughts of wanting to hold the man close. To listen to his deep, gravely, stupidly handsome British accent.

He’s so scared that it’s love- romantic love.

Soap isn’t emotionless, he loves with his whole mind and heart to the point it’s fucked him over in more ways than one- but never has he felt this.

He’s dated of course, because that’s what you’re supposed to be doing growing up. He’d dated a few girls. They were pretty, but that idea only rendered as a fact, with no emotion behind it. Like how a sunset can be beautiful but you wouldn’t take a sunset out on a date.

His relationship started when he was fourteen. A girl confessed her love, and Soap thought that’s all it took to be in love, for someone to say a ‘magic’ word. He didn’t understand that he was supposed to feel something.

She would try to kiss him, hug him, and he would give it back but it was never honest. Kissing felt wrong, felt nothing like how it seemed in the movies. They only lasted a few weeks.

He dated another girl a year later, his older sister Leah, had put them on a blind date. The girl was sweet, and again objectively pretty, but he felt…nothing.

He’s heard people talk about love, about the butterflies in one’s stomach, how everything would seem to zero in on one person. But as he looked at her from across the table, he felt nothing. He tried again, thinking that he just needed to wait for something to click.

She tried to advance things, Soap couldn’t get past taking his shirt off before making a piss poor excuse to leave. He doesn’t know why he felt like he needed to leave- why his skin was crawling at the thought of being intimate. But he did, and when he got an earful the next day from her, he had no good argument.

The girl had looked at Soap for a long moment before gently asking if Soap was gay. If that’s why his kisses never felt true, why there was no love- romantic love.

Soap at the time agreed with her, one for an out and two as it felt like a solid explanation for the way he was acting. He’d never felt anything towards guys, but maybe that’s because he’s never tried, he had never thought about it.

Soap had just turned seventeen when a guy friend of his admitted his attraction to Soap. Again, Soap looked at the man, dark brown hair, decent build, a kind man. Soap agreed regardless, already hating himself for going through with it. But maybe- maybe he is into guys and just…needs to get to know him more.

The two go on many dates and they last for almost a year. Soap could almost convince himself that he was truly in love.

Looking back, he wonders if he only felt that way because this man was the only one who saw Soap for who he was, and not the face he puts on for everyone else.

But Soap knows he was pushing his luck, knows he was leading the man on. The guilt had eaten him whole.

Three good people, all gave their undying love to Soap, and he gave nothing in return.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel how they felt- doesn’t know whats wrong with him. Why he can’t feel romance, why he’s never wanted sex.

He joins the military the next year, and he forgets about those feelings. Relationships aren’t meant to happen between soldiers and the one night stands are easy enough to dodge- both from men and women.

He had completely forgotten about all of it.

He had.

He really had.

Until Simon fucking Riley.

Until he saw that beast of a man dressed as the fucking grim reaper.

It wasn’t in an instant that he felt these new emotions. It was well after Las Almas and well after they catch Makarov.

Throughout that time, Soap and Simon got close, closer than either had truly expected. They flirted, though it was all banter of course.

Until it wasn’t.

Until Soap realized as he watched Ghost move through a warehouse through a sniper optic, that he found he meant it.

Then he started thinking and thinking. He couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t stop himself from getting jealous when anyone else looked at Simon with a suggestive glance. How he couldn’t stop thinking about holding him close, closer than Soap had let anyone before. How he had thought about pulling Simon close and have his lips meet the other’s.

It scares him.

Even if this is love- romantic love- he doesn’t feel like it’s enough. That he wouldn’t be a good enough partner, like how he was with the others in the past. What if these thoughts are the same as the last guy’s, he’s just going through some mental hoops to make him think it’s romantic?

Not to mention, Simon is his fucking superior- and his closest friend.

If he admitted his ‘love’ and for some reason Simon agreed, what if it goes away? What if he can’t recuperate once more? He’ll ruin their friendship and Soap can’t bare the thought of seeing Ghost take place of Simon.

He’s in turmoil and has no idea what to do with it.

He can’t tell gaz, he wouldn’t understand why Soap feels like he’s going crazy for feeling romantic for the first time. And like hell can he tell price, for the same reasons, plus insubordination. Price is a chill man, Soap knows that, but why stir a pot that’s already way past boiling.

So he’s stuck, with nothing but his journal and swarming feelings that make no sense.

-

Lmao, imagine identifying as aro ace for years and then boom, nada. Hahhahahahha. Definitely not projecting on him.

Definitely.

Anyway.

Have a good day (●’◡’●)ﾉ

[nostalgia-tblr]

okay, so the thing with wishing we could kudos every chapter of a fic.

i get it, we all want to hit the little like button more than once, it's the easiest way to express our approval/enjoyment/gratitude. i am going to address this to a generic 'you' (hello Y/N!) and assume that 'you' has either never posted fic to ao3 or hasn't posted both oneshots and multichapter works.

hits, kudos, comments, bookmarks. every marker of popularity (which many will interpret as quality) on ao3 is inadvertantly weighted in favour of works with more chapters. no, not longer necessarily, but with more chapters. go and sort a few fandoms by any of those stats and you'll probably be able to spot this trend in action right away.

oneshots are only at the top of a tag (by the default date sorting) once, and even if you re-read it you can only leave one kudos on it.

a multichapter can stay near the top of the update-sorted results for months if you time your chapter drops right, and of course every time someone comes back for the next chapter that's another hit, and being seen more it is more likely to end up with more kudos. you can still only leave one per work, though, which limits the effects to some extent. multichapter works still tend to overall outperform oneshots on stats, and the longer they are the more likely that becomes, but you'll still usually see a couple of oneshots on the first page if you sort that list by kudos.

and a lot of people (percentage unknown) do sort by kudos (or some other stat) and works at the top of 'by kudos' will thus attract more readers and more kudos. so there's an incentive to get as many kudos as you can on your fic, and if cutting it up into 250 chapters will help... well it already does, and that's had an effect whether writers will admit to dragging fics out a bit on purpose or not, but imagine if that effect were to become orders of magnitude more intense.

even if you personally prefer longer fics cut into fairly short chapters, you probably don't want to get your 150k epic in chapters of only a 100-300 words, do you? you don't want the oneshot writers to just give up when every page, no matter how they're sorted, is full of 5000-chapter works to the point that readers now riot when asked to read a whole 2000 words in one go. your fave author is now feeling insecure because chapter 12 didn't get as many kudos as the last one did.

and this is why ao3 will never let you leave kudos on every chapter. they're aware that the site already incentivises chaptering works and doing that more than you otherwise might. so you're just going to have to learn to put an emoji heart in the comment box.

[bugisbonkerz]

what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time

[imadecoy666]

might update idk tho

I just chugged back some white lightning (50% vodka) to kick off the night - I'm drinking on an empty stomach rn so I'm going to make myself a snack.. I also have some soju so I'll probably drink a bit of that while I make food

[m0thlegs]

maybe the real Viktor arcane season 2 character arc were the friends we made along the way

[scuorge10]

I feel cringe posting these especially since they don’t make sense at all but I just felt like drawing the cursed brothers (even tho I’m still learning the lore).

Don’t ask me what the last one is supposed to be I wanted to draw one of them as a lion for no reason

[hotbellepepaz]

what started as stupid little undercover au doodles turned into full on frickin character profiles. wow. anyway consume

[xoxomorgannz]

class of 09 on dti

yall the quality is shit my bad

[kulvas]

Well, you know how it is sometimes, you feel like you are at the lowest point of your life and therefore have an urge to start the blog on Tumblr in most awkward way possible. I have been very lonely lately, and in need of improving my english, so, I decided that, maybe, I could find some pals here? Someone to talk about life and fictional characters and whats not… Why am I posting pictures of this man, of all people? Because he is my literal BFF, he is on my mind every day for the last four years and it seems like this site is the only place where people can understand what kind of relationship I'm even talking about right now, haha. I have plenty of his portraits in store, but I desided to start with those little sketches, just to test the waters… Also, I feel like there is not enough fanart of him and I would do an honoroble thing If I contributed, despite being extremely self-conscious. So, um… Feel free to dm me if you would like to chat about anything TES related or not, and If there is no people willing to talk, I would continue posting anyways, because I feel like doing so. Thank you for reading my chaotic monologue. Have a good day!