#might delete later if i remember

[layraket]

i have a strong pain in my chest (not exactly in my chest. mostly like. in the middle.) and everytime i move slightly to correct my posture it gets worse. i thought that it would be bc of all the work in PE class. but im starting to suspect that it is another thing.

[randyzorra]

Thinking abt how love doesn't have to be defined by romantic interests and my headcanon that Sonya is aromantic but she absolutely does love Johnny, just not in the traditional romantic sense

[disneyhighau]

ngl, half the reason this comic takes so long is cause of the real disney company being shit and me having a hard time separating the two and retaining energy for it. lmao, im susceptible to nostalgia as much as the next person, but i feel my balls retract into my body every time im reminded what the companies doing at any given moment and have to recede into my shell where the memories from 10 years ago are stored so i can like writing about silly au's again

[sugarlesswriting]

Remembering a friendship where you would laugh so hard you would have tears in your eyes is up top with the anime betrayals. And even though it's sad when the friend group eventually splits into their own directions when they become adults, it's extra sad when it's ex friendships.

The what could have been is still playing in my mind sometimes. And now they're so different from who they were 10 years ago that you don't even think that their teenage self would be able to recognize themselves. How different it would be if they got help from a regular therapist instead of someone who wanted to use faith based therapy that eventually manifested into a problem when they became an adult. How maybe they wouldn't be transphobic, or homophobic, or racist. How their teenage self was so open to what other people believed and stood up for queer rights.

I miss being able to talk for hours and hang out outside of the regular place we ate at. The last time we talked it was only for an hour because I said I got tired but really it's because I realized that there wasn't anything left of my friend from even a year ago.

[mav-the-artist]

Hey guys.

Slight vent i guess. It's nothing drastically serious, but putting up a warning anyways. It's me complaining abt work and my ability to interact online.

under a cut, as it's a bit lengthy.

As the year comes to a close, I think about my milestones. Yeah, I've made a few friends since making a twitter finally. i've made a lot of improvement on my art. i've also figured out my gender. my life in general has been really good, since leaving a bad situation a year and a half ago. for the most part i'm happy where i'm at now.

except one thing.

work.

it's getting to me, working 40+ hours a week and hardly having any time at home to myself, let alone interact with my mutuals and friends. i feel bad. there's a lot of people i want to interact with and get to know more, but i have to sacrifice so much of my time off work to take care of irl stuff, family, etc.

and i have so many ideas for art, SO MANY. ideas of ocs i wanna draw from my mutuals/followers/people i follow, my fursona that i've been wanting to design FOR MONTHS, and so much more. my notes app on my phone deadass is FULL of ideas i get. but by the time i get home, all my motivation almost always is drained. i feel like a hollow void. and when i do draw, i never have enough time or energy to put more effort, more details or fully render. i've noticed my art has looked half-assed lately due to this.

after work, if my friends are in a group call, i end up just hanging out in the call not doing a goddamn thing otherwise. i enjoy hanging out with friends greatly, don't get me wrong, it's just i don't have motivation most of the time to draw while chatting in vc. hell, i don't even play video games half the time cuz i'm too tired to even do that. and there's so many games i bought this year that i only played once/never played yet because i'm too busy working/drained after work.

to my friends, mutuals, and followers who want to interact with me: i'm sorry i cant talk more or talk to you at all. i want SO BADLY to interact in fandom spaces more and make more friends, but work and fatigue is beating my ass relentlessly. however, even if we've talked a few times/rarely talk, i don't get friendship decay. we're still friends even if we don't talk in a while! and know i appreciate all my mutuals/followers greatly and will do my best to interact more.

i may be able to talk to my boss about going down to part time, as my mom and i did some number crunching and we could make it work. this would fix my problems massively, as i could finally achieve a work/life balance that i can actually function in.

in the end, i want this year coming up to be better than this one. yes, i've done a lot this year. but the next big thing is trying to talk to more than just like. 3 people online. and make more art, and improving my mental health.

don't expect this to be a reoccurring thing with me venting, as most of the time i'm a happy person. but i had to get this out. you can see why, lol

[sailors-fightinginthedancehall]

To the guys who barked at me as I was walking by

Were you catcalling me or are you just that weird?

Did you do it because you recognise me or did you do that to everyone passing by the street? Because I did not recognise you.

If you were indeed catcalling.... why? Just why.

Do you think it's funny? Do you get enjoyment out of it?

Because no one thinks you're funny and it's very uncomfortable.

[mbcorvo-author]

Having to deal with indifferent librarians this morning kind of spoiled the mood for the whole day.

I was happy to have had the idea of donating my old comics (at least, a good chunk of my collection) to the library since I need to make space in my old room, but seeing the lack of interest and not even bothering to answer me when I asked if they would have liked a list of titles and authors to check if they already had them or not… it was disappointing.

I still remember when I was like idk probably 13 or 14 and I donated my full collection of Geronimo Stilton's books and received a mail thanking me for the big donation and how it made me proud… idk I guess I had my expectations skewed.

Now I don't want to donate them anymore because I feel like it won't be an appreciated thing. I'm not asking for something big. Just a thank you. Not a "bring them here and we'll see" when I asked if they needed the list and a "now I need to figure out how to catalogue them" while taking the handful I left them. A simple "thank you". And maybe also a fucking "goodbye" when I said it going away. No, I guess that messaging on whatsapp was more important.

Fuck it, I'll put them for sale online. I wanted to donate them because I cared about those comics but whatever.

[distracted-sapphic]

.

[biohazard-inevitable]

Dont you hate it when you really start to click with someone as a friend and then they suddenly say some shit that makes you realize “oh- i dont know if i want to be open about my gender with this person” cause like- that just happened to be with this guy that claimed he was “neutral” on lgbt issues which, *red flag* but he thinks im cis soooooo

[marinatedsaltea]

Oh lord he coming

[some-buffoon]

I think he's cute

[ellusivearts]

we have not touched the stars,

nor are we forgiven, which brings us back

to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes,

not from the absence of violence, but despite

the abundance of it.

[terracottakore]

(wip) trying to get back into the swing of things

[sodantics]

OLD ART (at least.. 2.5 years old I think..?) that I did for a MCYT themed prompt exchange. First ep of Wild Life reminded me that I actually drew smol 3rd life Scar with Grian back then lol Old art embarrassing skahsdgjhg... there's plenty of stuff about this I think is super wonky (the face....!?) so I'm really conflicted on even posting it TT;

[deoidesign]

I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying

[gasterofficial]

um no offense but while we are romanticizing being freaks (cool and good) could we maybe not do that with incest and pedophilia maybe ^_^