#I like the hands still at least so thats something

[im-so-normal-iswear]

helloooo, can we have shadow x a reader who tends to get sick a lot maybe?

A/n: I really wanted to make this angsty, but then I remember I'm really bad at writing angst 💔💔

Shadow x reader who gets sick often

"Hmph, you ahould take better care of yourself"

Shadows voice rang as he turned the corner with medicine and water in hand. You got sick often. Today you were immobilized in bed from how sick you were.

"I try to." Was all you could say before going into another coughing fit and sighing.

He set the water down, opening the medicine and shaking some out onto his hand.

"Take this"

He handed them to you, shakily you took it with one hand, grabbing the glass of water and taking a sip as you swallowed the pills, before slumping back on the bed.

He gave you a short glance before turning away, muttering under his breath.

Not that he would ever admit it, but he really did hate how you seemed to always be sick. Sure he cares enough to help you out but it irritates him.

It reminds him too much of her. Maria.

Don't get it wrong, he doesnt view you as her, but he cant help but note how similar you are to her in those ways. Small comparisons here and there.

Its not even you getting sick so much that truely bothers him, its how nonchalant you are about it that irks him. Thats the real similarity he makes internally alot.

When your sick, wether or not its on the more serious flus, or just a common cold, youre always insisting your fine, waving off any and all questions, or concerns unless you cant get out of bed. It really irritates him.

He knows. He knows that not a single time your sick will amount to how serious marias illness was, but he still finds a bit of comfort in being able to take care of you when your like this. Being able to help you get better, something he couldn't do for Maria.

Shadow sat down on the chair beside your bed, arms crossed and his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. He wasn’t one for lingering, but he wouldntvoeave, not yet at least. The sound of your heavy breathing filled the room, and despite how many times he’d heard it before, it still made something in his chest tighten uncomfortably.

He told himself it wasn’t a big deal. You were stubborn, yes, and entirely too casual about your health, but you’d get better. You always did. He was here to ensure tthat though in the back of his mind he saw Maria there in that bed, just for a moment.

It was Maria all over again. The way she’d insist she was fine. The way she’d laugh, even as her hands trembled. The way her light was slowly extinguished while he could do nothing but stand by and watch.

His fists clenched.

"Shadow?"

Your voice broke through the haze of his thoughts. He looked up, startled, and immediately schooled his features into something neutral. You were watching him with a tired expression, your head tilted slightly.

"You’re zoning out," you murmured, pulling the blanket up higher as a shiver ran through you. "What’s on your mind?"

"Nothing," he replied curtly, his tone sharper than he intended. "Just… rest."

You didn’t argue, though your brows furrowed in concern. Closing your eyes, you nestled further into the covers, your breathing steadying as exhaustion overtook you.

Shadow watched you for a moment longer before standing abruptly. He needed air.

The hallways were quiet, the faint patter of rain against the windows the only sound accompanying him as he paced. His mind raced, memories he’d long since buried clawing their way to the surface.

"Shadow, it’s okay! I’m fine, really.”l"

Maria’s voice echoed in his ears, so vibrant, so full of life despite the context. He remembered the way she’d beam at him, even when confined to the cold, sterile walls of the ARK. Her insistence that she was "okay" had been both infuriating and inspiring, her strength something he admired and resented in equal measure.

He knows your not maria. But seeing you in bed sick and unmoving...

He couldn’t let the past repeat itself.

[vintagesuga]

Christmas Love ❆ - Ot8

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: implied Poly Skz x gn! reader

Warning: Polyamory, slight mentions of making food but nothing else

a/n: Happy Birthday to me / Merry Christmas. My birthday was the 24th, so I thought I would just write something up. It's not anything special, just a little homey thing I whipped up. I'm not sure if I'm 100% happy with it, but I hope you guys enjoy it.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ more under the cut ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

You could hear the commotion before you made it to the door. The snow crunched below your feet as you stepped up the stairs. The front of the house was beautifully decorated, lights bouncing off the snow. The wreath hanging on the door was one that Felix had bought years ago but was still holding strong. It was good to be home for Christmas, like breathing fresh air.

Changbin made a noise behind you as he carried your duffle bag up; you had taken your suitcase. As you pushed the door open the voices got louder, yelling and arguing about something as you and Changbin took off your shoes. Coats followed as he took them from you, hung them in the closet, and then Jeongin rounded the corner.

“How was your flight? Did you have fun? Are you hungry?” Jeongin started firing off questions as he pulled you into a hug. The others lined up after hearing you come in, hugs and words of welcome all around. You were passed from boy to boy as you answered questions, a big smile on your face. It may have been loud and overwhelming, but it was home, and you didn’t mind.

“It was horrible out there, the roads are getting slick and the snow isn’t helping at all.” Changbin pouted from somewhere to your left. He had volunteered to pick you up from the airport but had started to regret it with the weather. Changbin never liked driving in the snow.

“Thank you for getting me, Binnie.” You placed a peck on his cheek as thanks before being pulled away by Chan.

“Happy belated Birthday baby.” He mumbled into the crook of your neck, leaning back to place a kiss on your lips.

“Thanks, Channie.”

That’s another reason you were glad to be home. Your birthday was Christmas Eve and you had been stuck in layover due to the weather conditions. So it was spent in a hotel and on a Facetime call. It wasn't the best but at least the boys had been able to call, and you were here now so thats all you cared about.

“Should we open your birthday gifts now, before we eat?” Jisung held up a couple of small boxes, wrapped in balloon wrapping paper.  All eight of your partners had always tried to separate your birthday from the holidays. They made it a point to buy gifts and get a cake and celebrate the days separate from each other, unlike your family. But unfortunately, you hadn’t been able to make it home a day early so you were celebrating it on Christmas.

“Yes! Gifts now, and we can bring out your cake later.” Felix smiled so brightly as he pushed you to sit down on the couch. With the help of Seungmin and Minho, the three pilled all your birthday gifts in front of you. There wasn't much, one from each man and then one from all of them. The boxes weren't big either, though you had a feeling all nine presents were expensive.

Jeongin had gotten those shoes you'd ranted to him about, commenting on how he had grabbed a matching pair for himself. Jisung had gifted a cute little tea set saying how it reminded him of you when he’d seen it in the widow. Minho handed you an envelope, with tickets to your favorite band inside. He grumbled about how they were supposed to be good seats and if you wanted him to go with you he would. Changbin had bought a cute pair of earrings with a matching necklace, helping you put the necklace on. Hyunjin’s gift was the only one that was bigger than the rest. A painting that he had done for you, it was beautiful. Felix had gifted you the clothes you had wanted, conveniently they matched the shoes Jeongin had gotten you to. Seungmin had gotten that game you asked for, joking how he wanted a turn after you completed it. Chan said he didn’t know what to get you after everyone had gotten most of your wish list so he just handed over his gift with a sheepish smile. Inside the box was a little digital camera, with some cute little frames to hold some pictures.

“Thank you guys.” You smiled up at all eight boys, them all, returning the gesture. “I think you've cleared out my wish list.”

“Well, you've still got this one so don’t thank us quite yet shorty.” Hyunjin handed you the small wrapped present.

This one was from all of them, and as you opened it they were all watching you intently. The wrapping paper fell to the ground, the little bow was untied and followed, then the lid was pulled off. Your heart was in your throat as you stared down at the box. Inside was a ring. It wasn't an engagement ring, it was too plain for that. But it was a ring nonetheless. The band was nothing special and the diamond was not that big either, but it was absolutely gorgeous.

“You guys…. This is- I love it.” You were basically speechless, staring down at the ring.

“It's a promise ring,” Seungmin spoke up from beside you, giving your knee a little squeeze. “We all pitched in to get it for you.”

You took the ring out of the box, slipping it onto your ring finger. The way the tiny jewel sparkled in the light had you mesmerized. It sparkled so brightly for such a little thing, but maybe that was the beauty in it.

“Wait.. is this why you wanted my ring size?” You looked accusingly up at Minho. He just gave you a cheeky smirk in response.

“Do you like it?” he asked, to which you were eagerly nodding your head. A big goofy smile on your face had them all smiling too. “Good.”

“It’s our promise to you, baby.” Chan started to say something cheesy but Changbin was already covering his mouth. Mumbling about just enjoying the moment.

“We got ourselves some bands to match.” Felix held out his hand, showing off the silver band that rested on his ring finger. The others also showed off their own bands. You were surprised you hadn't noticed earlier, but then again they all wore jewelry so often it was normal to see rings on their fingers. What was one more?

After that everyone kind of migrated to the kitchen, helping where they could and getting out of the way when needed. Minho only trusted a select few in the kitchen so the rest were setting the table or providing entertainment. You and Jisung were one of the select few forced to be kitchen hands. Prepping and cutting everything while Minho started on the main dish. The house soon filled with aromas and laughter. Everything was just so…. Perfect.

This was all you really wanted for Christmas.

©️vintagesuga Do not repost.

[carbonfiction]

Redlight.. Greenlight..

Summary: You and your stepdad Logan have an... Unconventional, kind of relationship. One that runs deeper and much more intimatly taboo than your mother knows. You need him? Heres there.. Except for, well, when hes not.

So what happens when wants to play a little game with the gift he gets you from the fair to fill that exact problem?

Warnings: p with v lil plot, stepdad!dofp!Logan, slightly more innocent!reader, taboo relationship, stepcest! (Logan is dating readers mom- should also come without saying but reader is absolutely of age!!) couple mentions of cheating, pillow/stuffie riding, size kink, mention of male masturbation, cum, cum swallowing, slightly rough/mean logan, aaaand some daddy kink (Sorry :( i couldnt resist) i think thats it!

Masterlist Words: 2.4k

I.. Cant even explain the spiritual experience that writing this was. Y'all wanted it so, outta the love i have for you all, i delivered (or, attempted to!!) in typical me fashion It got nasty quick and i can only pray hell has an ac down there bc man.. Its exactly where im goin after this😭👹

"There you are sweetheart" Logan grins, one arm drawn up as he knocks gently on the doorframe for your attention.

You sqeak quietly in suprise, head flying up from the book your reading laying open on the bed. Your gaze meets him, stood wide and tall in the threshold of your room. His denim jeans and black shirt cling tight on his body, one muscular arm sitting tucked behind his back; holding something out of view.

You roll from your spot on your belly as he saunters further in. He shuts the door while you shift yourself until you kneel carefully on the edge of your bed. "Got a surprise for you.." he trails, chucking softly at the way your eyes brighten at the comment. Ever his sweet girl. "saw this at the fair and thought of you"

You cock your head like a confused puppy as he brings his hidden arm from behind his back. With him he pulls a big stuffed bear that has got to be at least a couple feet tall. the fur is pink, fluffy and soft as he places it into your grasp with a smile.

"Dunno if its a it's a little childish, you're uh.. probably a bit old for stuffies" he says, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "but.. thought you'd like to have him around.. You know, as a reminder when I'm not here."

You nod, eyes glossing over slightly as you begin to understand the hidden meaning in his words. your fingers play with the fur of the bears shoulders, ruffling it a little as your lip tucks under your teeth at the thought. you know he's hinting at being on missions, for when he cant take care of you.. his sweet, slutty girl. His pretty little step daughter.

His bigger fingers join yours on the bear, another deep chuckle falling from his lips. "Your mom- she was practically avoiding me any chance she got as we walked around" he continues as you smile amused, looking from him to the bear like he hung the moon. "kept tellin me to just put him in the car and, well, you know me, if I'm gonna get pushed, I might as well find a way to make it more amusing. Piss her off a bit"

You giggle quietly at his antics, at the thought of the huge gruff wolverine carelessly carrying a giant pink bear around a fair ground. How he would so willingly embarrass his girlfriend- your mom, with a gift so clearly for you; her adult daughter.

"Well i love it.. Thank you daddy!" you beam, his title, reserved for those needy moment you spend with him, rolling off your tongue before you care to stop it. Arms reaching up as high as they can in an attempt to hug at his neck. He drops down for you to reach, but your fingers still hardly clasp around the bulk of him. his chest rumbling at your excitement.

"glad you love it sweeth-" he goes to say, but you cut him off, unable to hold your want for him back any longer tonight. Your lips pressing sweetly against his, kissing him sloppy as you hang from his neck. Damn near sucking on his tongue.

He savours the taste of you, of the lipgloss that so often glistens on your lips before he pulls away to mumble warningly, fingers splaying out on your back. His head dipping to nose along your jaw. "Careful. Your mother's downstairs."

"Want me to s-stop?" you murmer, stuttering slightly at a gentle nip he leaves behind your ear. Eyeing over the grey streak in his hair your Lips pout, dainty fingers pulling logan by the back of his neck to look at you.

One of his hands glides up from your back, cupping your cheek like a fragile piece of glass. "Never. Never want you to stop kissing me sweet girl. Just.. giving you a warning that your mother's home"

"Dont care" you mumble rebelliously, shifting forward until you press against his lips again. "love you daddy"

He grins at that and you feel it pressed to your face, his scruffy beard rubbing your skin. "love you too, little one" he murmers honestly, thumb stroking your cheek as he pulls away. "More than you know.."

The hand on your back slowly drifts again until Logans got a large palm filled with your shirt covered breasts. "Look at you, so fuckin pretty. Give me a peek sweet girl?"

You nod with a breathy whimper, unwrapping yourself from around his neck and tugging the shirt up before throwing it to the floor. Logans eyes rake over your body, a groan falling free at the sight of your bare tits, eyes immediately catching onto the little barbells peaking from the sides of both, not to mention your lacy panties. Soft skin fully exposed to him without the oversized shirt hiding you from his view.

"I noticed something when I went to bed the other night" he starts, the hand on your cheek moving to your hair as he roughly tugs your head up. A bashful pink covering your cheeks; already knowing what hes about to tell you.

"My side of the bed was all crumpled up, sheets at the foot of the bed. I thought it might have been your mom but.." he stops, thumbs swiping at the buds of your nipples, already taught and sensitive around the bars from his touch.

"It smelled like you and for a moment i though it was just your perfume.." he leans down, pressing the words below your ear. ".. It wasnt your perfume though was it sweetheart?"

Your body shivers, mischief twinkling brightly in your eyes. The picture of innocence is not you, practically naked in front of your stepdad- a man who should be bedding your mother- accusing you of rubbing yourself over his pillow.

"No. No it was that pretty cunt i could smell" His touch grows rougher, fingers pinching around the supple flesh at the same moment he nips your neck again. "Just like i can now"

You cry out a little too loud as his hand dips from your chest, fingertips brushing the waist of your panties and snapping them against your skin. He shushes you quickly, pressing your face into his neck.

"had to lie there, rock fuckin hard, listening to your mom play that game on her phone until she passed out before I could finally jerk off and get myself properly taken care of.. Would've found you to help but you chose your moment to 'Stay at a friends'.. just knew I'd fuck you stupid if you were here huh?"

"M-mhm!" you nod desperately, slick beginning to make the fabric of your panties damp. The same panties his fingers begin to trace over, touch fetherlight over your cunt. "J-just wanted to play with you"

"Wanted to play with me huh? Could've just asked sweet girl, you know that.." he tuts, speaking the words so honestly. So easily, like you wouldnt be asking him to sneak out of bed and cheat on his girlfriend- on your own mother, with you again. But You know deep down he doesn't care, especially not when he touches you so perfectly. "So, how about we play a little game now hm?

"W-what kind of game d-daddy?" you question with a whine, hips rocking slightly at the feel of his fingers applying more pressure to your covered clit.

His hand pulls away from your panties as quick as it had gotten to them, the grip on your hair still tight as he makes you look at him with a dark smirk. "you're gonna ride that cute bear daddy got you and stop when i tell you. Simple redlight greenlight.. That sound okay sweetheart?

You nod quickly, letting him move you to the position he wants until your straddling the pink fur in the middle of the bed- knees pressing into the mattress. Your Lip once more bitten as you eye over the bulge forming in his jeans.

"Good girl, there you go. Make yourself feel good like you did on daddys pillow.. M' gonna stay right here" he grunts then, standing with a hand against the foot of the bed.

Your hips rock experimentally, a gentle sigh falling from your lips at the contact. The fur tickles softly between your thighs, an added sensation as your clit grinds nicely against the gusset of your panties; further drenching them.

Logan observes the way your lip remains beneath your front teeth, denting the plump skin until blood pools red beneath it. He feels his own blood rushing down to his cock at the sight- senses already overwhelmed by you as he watches your bare tits move softly with each movement.

"That feel good sweetheart?" he rumbles, shooting a smirk at you as your hips begin to wriggle quicker.

"Ye-fuck- ah.. " you whine back, chest begining to heave from the effort your putting in. The mattress squeaking softly below you.

Its then he grunts a word you dont want to hear, not with how good it feels. "Red light.."

You stop immediately, figuring if you obey he might let you off quicker, a cute little pout falling across your lips as you look up at his heft. "Good. You got it."

He lets you breathe a moment more, relishing in the praise as he shifts one large hand to the crotch of his jeans; palming roughly at the bulge there. "Green."

Your hips roll once again, wasting no time in chasing the warmth in the bottom of your belly. the wetness of your panties providing a slick streak for you to rub quicker against the bear.

Soft bucks and wiggles soon change to quick grinds and bounces, the bears leg locked tight between your thighs. One hand holding the bear in place the other teasing a budded nipple. At the pace your going, its not long before your whining out again.

"O-oh Daddy- im- m' close." you whimper in that sweet little tone. The same one you use when his cock is stretching you cunt wide around him. Desperate eyes peering up to find his dark gaze.

"Red light.." he grunts meanly, hand still rubbing thickly over his covered cock. The pleasure of observing you rising in his belly. He watches the way your thighs tremble, barely there now he's stopped you again, a telltale sign of your impending release coling up. "Good girl, lookacha getting all shakey.." logans deep chuckle shakes his shoulders, a heavy squeeze to his cock as he nods at you "start again"

Your hips continue their past pace, rougher grinds and bounces squeaking the bed as you buck quicker. The feeling of your orgasm re igniting in your gut. Your clit pulses needily, panties so soaked through by this point that the bears fur bunches wetly beneath you. Your grip on the leg white knucked as you plead out to logan, who still stands heavy at the end of the bed.

"Pleasepleaseplease- daddy.. Can i? Need ta' cum.."

"You need it sweet girl? S'that right?" he rasps, treading closer until his hand gathers your hair from the side. The pull at your scalp is tigh just as before. Your eyes flutter and its then he yanks, pushing you to open your eyes and look at him.

"Yea! God fuck please.." you sob, pace beginning to grow unsteady from the exertion of chasing your orgasm. "Feels g-good"

"Go on, green light." he nods with a growl, lips pressingjust below your ear as he does so, egging you on. "Do it. Cum on that bear like you would daddys cock.".

You cum with a high pitched whine, blood pumping white hot through your veins. Your vision spotted and ears ringing as you tremble; pelvis still grinding away chasing at the aftershocks.

Logan feels his cock throb dangerously as he watches you tremble, his own underwear soaked in slick pre. "S-shit. Cmon," logan demands then, pulling you roughly down from the bed until you meet the carpet floor. "On your knees sweetheart.. " The hand not tangled in your hair tugs at his jeans to free his cock

You watch panting as he frees himself from the constraints of his clothes, belt, denim and boxers all quickly tugged just below his heavy balls. Hand working quick over his sensitive shaft before you reach for him. "Yeaaaa thats it, thats it. Make daddy cum all over that pretty mouth. Good girl."

You only have to give one, two, three languid strokes before hot white ropes land on your tongue as he groans much too loud; shirt pulled up between his teeth in a half harted attempt to muffle it. Your hand working from the base to tip until hes grasping at you to stop.

The hand in your hair shifts, pulling at the strands as he rounds to cup your jaw, a large thumb swiping at the corner of your lips. It keeps you open as he eyes how his release coats your mouth like honey.

You're smiling at him, a knowing look from times before in your eye as he pulls his thumb away to wrap that hand around the base of your neck. "there you go, swallow it all.."

Your mouth closes, throat bobbing beneath his touch as you swallow. A small hum sounding out as you grin back, tongue peaking out again to show him.

Logan simply groans at the sight, softening cock twitching. "God you take my cum better than your mom sweet girl... C'mere. Give me a kiss, let daddy taste himself on you."

You stand quick, aided by his grasp on around your collar. Logans kisses are hungry, a clash of teeth and quiet moans. Spit stricken as he savours the remaining taste of himself from your inside your mouth; lewdly suckling at your tongue. He only dares pull away when he can tell your need for breath is becoming overwhelming.

"Did so good you know that?" he rumbles earnestly, lips pressing against your forehead softly. "always making daddy proud of his sweet girl"

You grin a bashful smile, unable to hide the heat on your cheeks, a little giggle of "thank you daddy" slipping into the air that makes logan chuckle while you watch him tuck himself back into his clothes. Quickly fixing his appearance he gives you one final peck on against your bitten lips. Quite mumblings of how 'dinner's going to be ready soon' as he bends, handing you your ealier discarded shirt and tredding towards the door.

With one final glance cast to your appearance he makes sure to remind you that you 'Just have to ask' before the door closes behind him with a soft thud.

Until the next time you need him.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Since it’s close to Christmas, (literally 1am Christmas Eve as I’m writing this), how about some Christmas themed X Reader headcanons or scenarios with some of our favorite circus performers?

You can write anyone you want, but i definitely want Caine to be there at least. I love that guy 🎄🥛🍪

-🪄

Happy holidayssssss

Christmas w/ some of the circus members

Mayhaps ill make a part two with the other characters.. that said I do have a TADC christmas post from last year with all of the cast!! Not sure how well it holds up but :3

Characters: caine, kinger, gangle, pomni

Notes: reader is gn, short post, general christmas shenanigans, haven't reread the aforementioned previous Christmas post so apologies if anything coincidentally repeats from last year LMAO

CWs: none

CAINE

bold of you to assume hes not going to send you all off on a christmas themed adventure for the day! in fact he probably starts leaning into the holiday themes the SECOND thanksgiving is done- assuming he even bothers to wait for that.. he might even try to lean into it as soon as halloween is done

REALLY leans into the festivities, constant christmas music in the circus and hes going to do some countdown... and god... the presents... he gives everyone a present but hes going to (poorly) hide that hes giving you extra presents- youre tooooooooootally not his favorite member in the circus- huh? why would anyone ever think that?

he snaps his fingers and in an instant everyone is given ugly sweaters

KINGER

he... likes the lights that caine puts up throughout the circus... theyre so colorful, and the blinking of them reminds him of something.... oh... were you saying something?

the storyteller, will go on and on and on about random stuff- not always christmas stories, but theres definitely some thrown in there!

convince him to make a massive pillow fort- no-! no pillow castle! oh nonono wait! pillow igloo! festive and comforting for him, he does still make sure to go out to interact with everyone else but he'd much rather stay inside his fort and spend time with you

...will come out for presents... and hes got something for you! no peeking until its time to open them up...!

GANGLE

jax tries to string her up on a christmas tree that caines put up for you guys- please help her down :(

she makes ornaments to pass the time when you guys arent sent out on an adventure, shes more than open to letting you sit down and join her! from paper ornaments to those cute little clay/plastic ones! shes got paint and other little things to help decorate!

sometimes the overall energy of the holiday can be a little... overwhelming... she tends to hang back in a quiet corner while everyone else goes out and celebrates- she doesnt hate christmas, its just sometimes it can be overwhelming... she... really appreciates you hanging back to spend time with her or generally making sure shes actually having fun

POMNI

her first christmas in the circus is... odd for her. she doesnt know how to feel about it already being christmas- the whole... passage of time and being made aware of how long shes been stuck here can put a damper on her mood but she knows there isnt anything she can do about escaping at the moment

and... with you around... you help keep her steady during the season- just enough to keep her cool until its over and she can go back to letting the time passing sink to the back of her mind... oh... you want her to help you make cookies...?

shes not much of a baker- but if you can help her and give her a recipe shes sure to make something thats at least edible- not that you guys need to eat in the circus... she never could get used to how the food tasted and felt in the digital world... it tastes... off... and has a faint sensation of licking a battery... but... its something

it keeps her hands and mind busy as she decorates them with you- and for the first time this season... she actually smiles, because of you

[sodantics]

OLD ART (at least.. 2.5 years old I think..?) that I did for a MCYT themed prompt exchange. First ep of Wild Life reminded me that I actually drew smol 3rd life Scar with Grian back then lol Old art embarrassing skahsdgjhg... there's plenty of stuff about this I think is super wonky (the face....!?) so I'm really conflicted on even posting it TT;

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[secriden]

Everything about Style is just driving me feral with want to have THK right now, immediately.

The way he's all big, bold gestures and confident swagger; the way his introduction includes a literal arms-wide-open welcome. The overalls unbuttoned until nearly the middle of his chest and how he's the only one in the main cast to be (literally) this uncovered (everyone else has 2-3 layers on).

I wonder if this hints to how vulnerable his character is, narratively speaking: how he potentially is the one that starts out with the least information (apparently Kant doesn't tell him who Fadel and Bison are when he makes that deal with Style?); how he may be the least physically familiar with violence because he's just a mechanic (vs Kant's background with crime/the police. Also the way in the trailer Style is constantly in shock when Fadel does something violent around him); how he chooses with his heart even after he finds out the full truth about Fadel ("You know I know everything").

When he describes his life, it's so... innocent? We get a snapshot of what he thinks his life is about and it's: fixing cars, collecting vintage cars, bowling and hanging out with his best friend. Every other character's answers are layers of subterfuge and double meanings but Style's answers create such a contrast by being so unfiltered. This is a character that (at least at this point) is guileless and without agenda.

I'm so excited to see Style pursing Fadel. I'm so excited to see Fadel try to remain stoic and unmoved in the face of Style's unabashed interest and enthusiastic flirting. I'm excited to discover why Style goes from attraction to being willing to risk it all for Fadel.

But also -- in a very different way than what Kant will doubtless be to Bison -- I'm excited to see how Style will become an escape for Fadel. Fadel, who just wants to sleep for 25 hours (he's so exhausted) and live a normal life, maybe open a restaurant that isn't just a front and a cover for the illicit job he maybe no longer wants, who enjoys solitude but wants to find someone to spend it with (he sounds so desperately lonely, my heart breaks for him).

Someone uncomplicated, who lives life fully, who isn't afraid to go for what he wants and who wears his heart on his sleeve.

In less than 5 minutes, this interview shows us the ways they could fit together like missing puzzle pieces, and I am so, so excited to see it fall apart and come together.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[drop--pop--candy]

i think it was the lights im twitching

[cielosuerte]

something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon

[unjest]

ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS

[orcelito]

Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍

Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.

But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.

I do need to eat. But... later...

[puhpandas]

Opinion on the TalesGames theory?

I think it's becoming increasingly clear that it's probably just all canon because of sotm being (at least right now with the current info we have) true to the books so like. I wasnt a big fan before of things outside of stuff like ggy where it's just very clearly about something in the games, but with how intertwined the mimic is with just normal tftp books I think it's safe to say its pretty much confirmed now lmao

[the-kipsabian]

im trying to remain positive and hopeful about wembley next year

the thing just is that its just going to be incredibly difficult to arrange that whole thing unless something dramatically changes in my life. which is a thing i cant really just. do all by myself cause if it was up to me lmao i would have been employed already

but we try. for what its worth. its gonna take a lot out of me but if it gets me even slightly bit closer to that goal its worth it

💜

[s0urcand1es]

this is going to sound really pretentious but are you ever talking to a dude and its like "wow they rlly don't get it"