#might be a fun balance but i have no idea

[cherryredz]

Skating on Thin Ice

one-shot

Summary: After weeks of exchanging lighthearted texts and meeting up for casual coffee dates, Harry decides to take you on your first official date. Wanting to do something fun and a bit nostalgic, he suggests ice skating at a nearby outdoor rink that’s been set up for the winter. You have never skated before and hesitate at first. But in the end you agree, intrigued by the idea of trying something new with him.

Warnings: none

_______________________________________________

It was a crisp winter evening, the kind that made the world feel still and quiet, save for the soft sound of skates carving through ice. Harry stood beside the outdoor rink, waiting for you to arrive. The twinkling lights around the rink shimmered, casting a warm glow over everything. When he spotted you walking toward him, your breath visible in the cold air, he smiled.

"Hey," you greeted, your cheeks flushed from the cold, your eyes bright with excitement and nervousness. "I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

Harry grinned, stepping forward to meet you. "I promise it’s going to be fun. No pressure, we’re here to enjoy the night." He held out a hand, helping you with your skates. "Let’s get these on first."

"I’m already having second thoughts," you laughed, pulling the laces tight around your boots. "I’ve never been on ice before. What if I fall?"

"You won’t fall," Harry reassured you, tying your skate laces with an expert hand. "Well, you might... but I’ll be there to catch you."

You raised an eyebrow, an amused smile playing on your lips. "You’re so confident, I’m starting to feel like I might just embarrass myself."

"No chance." Harry finished with the skates, standing up and offering you a hand. "Come on, I’ll show you how it’s done."

You stepped onto the ice together, and you immediately clutched the edge of the rink. Harry, laughing softly, stayed by your side, one hand resting on your back to steady you.

"Okay, this is definitely harder than it looks," you muttered, trying to shift your weight but feeling unsteady.

"Take your time," Harry said gently. "Just shift your weight, one foot at a time."

You hesitated, glancing at Harry. "I feel like a baby deer on skates."

Harry chuckled. "We all start somewhere. I’m not exactly a pro either." He nudged you playfully. "Just don’t fall into me."

"I’ll try not to," you teased, trying to keep your balance. "I feel like I’m going to wipe out any second."

Harry steadied you once more, a warm smile on his face. "You’re doing great. I’ll be right here."

As you slowly circled the rink together, your conversation shifted to more personal topics. "So," you started, your voice light, "you’re always so calm and collected. How do you do it?"

Harry shrugged, gliding along smoothly beside you. "It’s just easier to keep it together when the world’s watching. But sometimes, it gets... tiring, you know? People expect you to always be happy, always on."

You nodded, your thoughts drifting to your own insecurities. "I get that. I guess I try to keep a brave face too, but there’s always this pressure, this feeling like I’m never enough."

Harry glanced at you, his expression softening. "You don’t have to feel like that, Y/N. I mean, you’re here, with me, right now. And that’s enough."

You smiled, the warmth of his words melting some of your nerves. "Thanks, Harry. I... I think I needed to hear that."

You continued skating, Harry occasionally giving you pointers, laughing at the little stumbles you both made. The ice became more familiar, and your confidence began to grow.

"You’re getting better," Harry commented, slowing down beside you as you gained more control. "Look at you go."

You grinned, feeling proud of yourself. "I guess I’m not so bad after all."

You skated in silence for a moment, both of you enjoying the peacefulness of the rink. The cold air was refreshing, and the twinkling lights above you gave the night an almost magical quality.

"I think I could get used to this," you said softly, your hand brushing against his. You glanced up at him, your breath coming in soft puffs. "Thanks for pushing me to try something new."

Harry stopped skating for a moment, turning to face you. "I’m glad you did. It’s fun, right?"

You nodded, your heart racing a little faster than it had been before. "Yeah, it is." You looked into his eyes, the connection between you growing stronger by the second. The moments of awkwardness had turned into something more—something real.

Harry, who had been trying to keep his composure, suddenly felt a shift. The nervousness he’d felt at the beginning of the night had turned into something far more tender. He stepped closer, his voice quieter now. "Y/N…"

Before he could say anything else, you took a small step closer as well, the gap between you closing. Your faces were inches apart, the warmth of your bodies contrasting with the chill in the air. Your heart pounded, and Harry’s breath was shallow. You paused for a moment, and in the next breath, Harry leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, unexpected kiss.

It was gentle, tentative at first, but when you kissed him back, all the hesitation melted away. You pulled back slightly, your faces still close, eyes meeting in the glow of the lights. Your lips were warm against his, and the spark between you was undeniable.

"That was..." you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Harry replied, his voice just as soft. "Perfect."

You lingered there for a moment, basking in the magic of the moment before Harry smiled and extended his hand. "Shall we go get some cocoa? I’m freezing."

"That sounds amazing," you said, grinning. "Lead the way."

You walked off the ice together, the sound of your laughter echoing in the crisp winter air. Harry pulled you close, and you shared a quiet moment as you headed for the warmth of the car, the ice rink behind you already becoming a cherished memory.

As you parted ways later that night, Harry paused before walking off into the night, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "This is just the beginning, Y/N."

You smiled, your heart still racing, as you watched him go. "I’m looking forward to it."

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This is the first ever time I'm writing something here, hope you like it! Let me know what you think :))

p.s. English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes.

[typicalopposite]

🥟 dumplings please! 🛎️

Well this got long and angsty… BUT it will have a part two in another person’s ask (hint: it’s Hannah’s) later 🙂‍↕️😉

This is a bad idea… that is probably going to result in an equally bad, impulsive idea. Buck takes a deep breath and walks into the bar anyway. 

“Thank God!” Chimney must have been watching the door for him to walk in because he spots Buck instantly and hurries over to him. “You gotta do something,” he continues, grabbing Buck’s arm and tugging him through the crowd, towards the front. 

“I don’t understand why it has to be me…” Buck mumbles; not that he wants it to be anyone else. It’s just that a few days ago everyone was actively trying to stop Buck from contacting Tommy, now they are asking him to confront Tommy in person. 

“Because you’re the only one who might be able to actually get through to him…” Chimney replies, and stops in front of their booth. “Okay I got him.” The rest of his team collectively sigh in relief. Buck sighs in annoyance to their relief. They had invited him to come along, but he knew Tommy and the 217 frequented the bar too— oftentimes he would abandon his own team to come sit with Buck and the 118 when they’d arrive— he wasn’t taking the chance. So much for that well thought out plan.

“So… what exactly am I supposed to do here?” Buck asks, he looks around but doesn’t even see a trace of Tommy anywhere in the bar. 

“He’s up next,” Chimney says, looking horrified. “Buck his reputation will never recover from this, you have to stop him.” 

“Stop him from wh—” 

Buck gets interrupted by a loud speaker screech and when he looks towards the sound he finally sees Tommy. He is standing beside the karaoke machine, swaying and teetering nearly over before catching his balance. He looks so lost— so sad, and it makes Buck’s heart ache. 

But he’s sad too, and— and Tommy is the reason he is sad. So when Tommy’s head finally lifts up and looks towards the 118’s booth, and he spots Buck staring back; Buck doesn’t react. When a shocked look crosses Tommy’s face but then gives way for a soft smile; he gives a little wave… and Buck doesn’t react to that either. 

“What are you waiting for!?” Chimney hisses, pushing Buck towards the front of the bar. “Go say something.”

“No… if— if I was ever going to try to talk to him—” Buck argues. “—I’m not doing it while he’s drunk.” 

“Buck! That’s the best time to do it!” 

“That makes no sense!?”

Hen sighs. “With Tommy… it actually does. He becomes an open book when he’s drunk.”

Buck rolls his eyes, unwilling to hear them out when they wouldn’t hear him out about how much he missed Tommy, how desperate he was to hear from him.

At the stage Tommy clears his throat. “H- Hey… it— it’s me… again.”

“Again?” Buck repeats, confused. 

“This is his fifth time up there,” Chimney explains, abandoning his efforts to get Buck to the stage and plopping down beside Hen. Around them a couple other tables can be heard whispering and snickering while pointing up towards the stage. Buck managed to ignore how it pisses him off to see them make fun of Tommy. 

“So f- for ma’nxt— next song…” Tommy says, swaying around from the motion of turning his head down to the computer to pick a song. “I… I’m g’nna sss— ssss— s- sing directly to my d- my du— my dumpling.” He looks back at Buck and winks— tries to wink, anyway. It was more of a slow frog blink. More laughter erupts through the bar, but if Tommy notices… it doesn’t sway him at all from finding a song anyway. 

“Oh my god,” Chimney groans, and drops his head down onto his arms. “He’s still saying ‘dumpling’!” 

“Wh- what do you mean, still?” 

“Every song he has chosen has used the word darling in it,” Hen explains. “By the third song— and his fifth whiskey— he just… switched the word and started saying dumpling instead.”

Hello Darlin’ appears on the screen behind him. “Hello Dumplin’,” is what comes out of his mouth. 

Buck stands there, somewhere between entranced in the lyrics (minus the persistent use of the word dumpling instead of darling) and embarrassed on Tommy’s behalf; the whole bar minus one table is openly laughing at him now— and yet he finishes the song. 

“And if you could ever find it in your heart… to forgive me. Come b- *hicup* back dumplin’; I’ll be waitin’ for you…” he says, stumbles and falls backwards. 

In the audience there is no concern at all, very little applause, and a whole lot of laughter. Buck’s feet finally break free from where he had purposefully planted them to the floor, and he rushes up to the stage. Tommy is rubbing at his shoulder where it hit a chair on his way down. He looks up when Buck grabs his arm and his eyes shine— probably due to the fact they are practically floating in alcohol. He smiles, and reaches for Buck’s face, missing a couple times before finally caressing his cheek. “You came back to me, d- dumplin’…” he says… and Buck doesn’t have the heart to say it’s only because he was duped into showing up. 

“Come on,” Buck sighs, and helps him to his feet. “I’ll take you home.” 

He tosses Chimney the keys to Tommy’s truck as they pass, then walks Tommy out to his jeep. Tommy slumps against the door once it's shut, smiling up at Buck through the window; and Buck doesn’t react. He can’t react. Not now… not like this. 

“I’m sorry,” Tommy says after half a car ride in complete silence. Buck is about to tell him it’s fine; that he doesn’t mind giving him a ride. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Evan.” Buck’s throat tightens and he manages a grunt in response. “You— you were everything I ever wanted… and— and I let you go. I wish I hadn’t…” 

So do I… Buck wants to say. He grips the wheel and continues to drive. 

Tommy starts to hum. Then eventually he starts to sing. “You came into my life, little savior… I catch butterflies when you enter… it’s crazy what love can do… Now you got me singing my truth…” Buck sighs, and keeps his eyes on the road. “You bring me Calm in the chaos… When all the odds are against us… You’ll have all my love… I need you to know now…

Oh, my darling, am I falling? I can’t find the words to use… First my heart aches… then my voice breaks… so I had to write it down for you. 

Oh my… d- darling… What you started, feels like I got it all to lose. First the ground shakes, years of mistakes… You’ve given me another life, so I’ll live it for you…”

Tommy goes quiet and Buck doesn’t react. 

[malbontesmrs]

Thanks for the tag, @haitianempress!

My top five ongoing stories under the cut

Soulless

I love this book so much. It’s the perfect balance of serious and silly, the love interests are amazing (and so difficult to choose between), and Vyxaria is my favourite MC on the app. This book is probably my third favourite over all; I love, love, loooooove it.

Love, Sin & Evil Vol. 1

Campy horror with phenomenal branching, fun little mini games, the wolf vampire, and Chad? Sign me up. This story is so good, it’s engaging and ugh, it’s like the perfect 80s horror movie. I could replay this story a hundred times and get something different. I just love it.

Astrea’s Broken Heart

Look, I love Cassiel and I find the story compelling. It’s not really much more than that. 😅 I can’t wait to see how it connects to HS/HS2/HSR.

And The Haze Will Take Us

I have always liked Alice’s writing, and I’m super on board with it the more she improves. The story is creepy, and so far not at all predictable, which I love. This might be the only story I love regardless of the LIs (they’re all fine but nobody’s got a hold on me).

Shakespeare’s Code

Edmund exists. And so does Edward.

But I am also loving the story, and Amabelle/Ro is such a dynamic MC. The twins / Lear were creepy af, and I have no idea what’s really going on but I’m along for the ride.

Honourable mention:

The Missing, The Thunderstorms Saga, 7 Brothers

I won’t tag anyone because I think most people who do these have already been tagged 😅

Bringing this back !

Here's a fun little thing I'm bringing back for the fandom - reblog this (or make ur own post) with your favorite ONGOING books, if you want you can add reasons as to why they're your favorites, and tag people who you think would like to participate ! 😁

reasoning & tagging below the cut to not clog the post ✨

honorable mentions: astrea's broken heart, the missing, w time catcher, kali: flame of samsara.

tagging: @theodoravery @suckitphaneuf @lanesrequiem @haitianempress @ratanslily @jillfvs @a-cloud-for-dreams @taemcains @webanglikethat @hexesandroses @renninflight @rosesandpearlss and anyone else who would like to participate ! <3

a) Soulless - where do I start ? Amazing. Showstoping. Spectacular. Totally unique, completely not ever been done before. I LOVE every single love interest, I love Vyxaria as an MC no matter the path, I looove how neatly the plot all ties together - it's just all amazing. Best ongoing story I think.

b) Shakespeare's Code - despite the fact it's been 6 episodes, this story is bumped to the TOP of my favorites. It's just amazing, Amabelle is extremely entertaining as an MC, the love interests all have different plotlines, and I love how many stats & combinations you can have !

c) 7 Brothers - of course, it wouldn't be fair to talk about my favorites without talking about this story I've been defending tooth & nail since forever. A misunderstood work of art, I really like the MC, Jaynie's so relatable & an all-around character, I absolutely cherish her. Of course, there's the love interests & Langley's amazing writing strikes again. It's always the first story I play every update <3

d) Love, Sin & Evil - another underrated work of art, my favorite thing about this story is the mechanics of saving the characters ! Super innovative, I love it. I also think Mina's a super entertaining MC and the fashion is just top notch, though on the more expensive side 👌 Eagerly waiting for the next update & the upcoming finale.

e) Heaven's Secret: Requiem - unfortunately, despite all its problems, specifically romance-wise, I still really like this story, at least for the plot of it. I'm still invested in what the fuck is the deal with Lane, and how it's all going to end.

f) And The Haze Will Take Us - Suuuuper invested to see where Alice is taking this story. I was kind of torn on season 1 but I'm actually really focused on season 2 to see where this story and this haze will be taking us ! Looking forward to the next update.

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

[vaguely-concerned]

the thing is... if you love star wars? listen to campaign star wars. if you hate star wars? listen to campaign star wars. if you're indifferent or ambivalent towards star wars? listen to campaign star wars. it's more star wars than star wars. it's got nothing at all to do with star wars. it's the mythical 'star wars would be so good if it was good' content your soul has been yearning for all this time, not knowing it already exists. it has created a pocket dimension in fiction all to itself of being so entirely its own thing. it's one of the silliest and one of the most profound works of fiction I've ever experienced (and these two aspects are frequently not unrelated in a way I find paralleled only in like. pratchett). it's some of the cleverest transformative work you'll ever find and it uses that to do what you'd swear up and down is impossible at this point: provide a genuinely novel perspective on star wars. I know for a fucking fact that there are legions of you out there who would have space shrimp gender emotions over leenik geelo (leenik geelo from the mynock). listen to campaign star wars

(no need to listen to the prologue you can come back for context later if you'd like but it isn't essential! if you look for it on your podcast app of choice it'll probably be under 'campaign skyjacks', just scroll down to the oldest episodes and you'll find the star wars part of the podcast. also listen to campaign skyjacks it is very good and has giant birds in it.)

[alchemiclee]

other people can ship what they want, but I will only ship aventurine gay and never a straight ship. the dynamic of straight relationships/ships is never balanced (societies fault mostly) and that boy sure needs some balance. if you ignore the het-ifying of gay relationships with the whole pointless top/bottom debate, gay relationships are more equal by nature. aven needs someone in his life who is his equal.

for example, in the story it was pointed out the footprints were side by side when he was walking with ratio. therefore ratio sees him as his equal. and i'm sure aven would feel more at ease with him if he wasn't dealing with everything he was atm. aven is such an unbalanced character fighting against an eternal power struggle of everyone towering above him, trying to beat his luck, and he's trying to get above for once. then ratio appears, treating him as an equal, balancing him. even if you dont see it as a ship/see it as a platonic ship/nonromantic/friends you still have to admit how good their dynamic is.

[disclaimer edit: "by nature" I mean society's and most individual peoples nature. nature not meaning "science" but the built in habit that's existed in society and taught to people for millenia and people treat as "fact" (when it's not tbh) sorry for confusion! dont know how to explain it well! i was half asleep when i made this post idk what i was trying to say exaclty but it upset someome so maybe delete later]

[moeblob]

I’d just like to say thank you for drawing Gavin and Chris being friends. Definitely an underrated pair and I’m so happy that art of them exists. Makes my day to see them honestly.

Also, please make more because this fandom definitely needs it 💕

OH HELL YEAH that's some of my favorite stuff to draw for DBH tbh! There is something so charming about unhinged coworker dynamics... I say this as someone who has been the unhinged coworker and someone who has heard unhinged coworkers.

Thank you so much though! I'm glad you've enjoyed what I have so far! I will say that while I didn't have the energy to draw it yesterday for Halloween, the idea that I had was them just alternating who got to wear the Ghostface mask. (I have never seen any of the Scream movies but I do know that there's not a Singular Ghostface, but multiple people)

Like someone would walk past Gavin's desk and he's just on his phone not looking up while Chris is making a work call - wearing the mask. Then five minutes later Chris tosses it over saying he needs some air and Gavin wears it. But the fact it was Halloween nobody really clocks the swap at first just "wow I am REALLY tired I thought it was the other one wearing it. I must really need coffee" and then half an hour passes and they've swapped who's wearing it again.

[rococovirgo]

wow i haven't actually posted anything in months now and really haven't said anything in a while, huh... here's a fast sketch i did of that one 'draw your ocs as this' meme that i decided to color in, and ended up really liking so i'm sharing it with you all lmao

but yeah i've just been super busy with life recently and haven't felt too happy with a lot of the art i've been making recently. i've been fighting off some art block since late last year and miiiight be close to getting over it soon now from resting and getting back into the groove again. and my style has changed just enough for me to notice differences so i'm happy with that. so yeah, i'll be posting more art again soon, hopefully, without issues

[rosenbraut]

🌹Utena inspired🌹 - loving and moving my body this week

Monday. rise and shine yoga [13 mins] // fencing footwork at home practice [16 mins]

Tuesday. power pilates [15 mins]

Wednesday. neighbour-friendly ballet cardio [12 mins]

Thursday. Yoga sculpt [14 mins] // pilates for balance [13 mins]

Friday. beginner ballet cardio [10 mins] // deep stretch for beginners [24 mins]

Saturday. ballet pilates workout [20 mins]

Sunday. pilates for strength & flexibility [24 mins]

___

This week (24.06.-30.06.), I felt inspired to try something new: A selection of workouts inspired by the masterpiece that is Shōjo Kakumei Utena. The inspiration here wasn't the body image of 90s Shōjo, but rather the ways the characters move. The idea was to pretend that I was preparing to fight those hyper mannerist duels. Since I'm very limited in what I can do at home (no kendo, no fencing, not even basketball...) AND since the duels themselves are metaphorical kaleidoscopes of dance, fencing and freudian shenanigans, I picked a selection that combines factors that would go into this way: focusing on strength, flexibility and endurance, as well as balance, grace and control.

[maburp]

I’m in my early 20s so sometimes I forget I don’t live in a vacuum. If I fail here, if I pause here, there is so shame or rush, there are people around me that can help break my fall and I’m so lucky for that. My only job is to explore and figure out what will leave me with a fulfilling life and how my friends and family fit into that.

[waywardsalt]

fuck it, unedited snippet from an early early post-ph scene i decided to write one night

[unnamed-atlas]

Having brain worms. What if uhhhhhh SOS Mianite au

[storm-driver]

kh4 rambling below the cut

im hoping they include multiple character campaigns for KH4. not just because i wanna see characters be playable that we havent seen in a while, or at all. but also because i feel like a whole game centered on sora in quadratum would get really difficult to tell a story in. not because interesting things couldn't happen. but the series has always had everyone venturing to other worlds to help progress the plot.

having sora, as limber and mobile as he was in that kh4 trailer, be secluded to a city, feels like he'd outpace the world itself and you'd end up traversing the same maps for tens of hours of game time. im sure there's gonna be plenty of narrative to push that world around, but i just dont wanna be in that single world the entire game.

it's part of why i wasn't the biggest fan of chain of memories. i didnt hate the story, and i didnt dislike castle oblivion. but KH excels at having the characters just be all over the universe in their journey. COM sorta shirks the responsibility of telling its story in one world by having illusions of the other worlds. but the most important parts are still only in castle oblivion. and after an hour or so of those cutscenes, it really starts to dawn on me how much ive grown used to the white walls of the castle.

perhaps that was the point? it's been a handful of years since those days, so i couldnt say anymore. ive grown up a lot since then, thematic choices will appear different to me from when i was a kid.

i digress, it'd also be a shame to bring back the whole main cast properly in kh3, free of their shackles or imprisonments, and then have them scarcely appear in the next mainline game. the hints that kairi will be training with ventus, terra, and aqua are already there, which gives me hope. donald and goofy are out looking for sora on their own, while mickey is on his way to the old scala ad caelum. it definitely FEELS like everyone is gonna be present.

im simply praying.

[banamaak]

then let my heart be hardened, and never mind how high the cost may grow. 

— azadeh heidari (2/3)

i. just like a woman (2012) dir. rachid bouchareb // ii. anis mojgai // iii. i for iran, dir. sanaz azari // iv. the echo sounder, ada limón // v. listen, newsha tavakolian // vi. glory and gore, lorde // vii. euphoria (2019) 1x07 “the trials and tribulations of trying to pee while depressed” // viii. first fig, edna st. vincent millay // ix. the breadwinner (2017) dir. nora twomey // x. seventeen going under, sam fender // xi. the plagues, ralph fiennes & amick byram

[jazelock]

Nothing Lingers Just Out of Sight

Idea for a Fear Spirit that has the Special Rule:

Flinch Away from Shadows

Generate 1 Fear whenever you use a Power Card on a target land with your Presence. Generate 1 additional Fear if your next Action in the same Power Phase removes all your Presence from that land.

and the Innate Power of:

Paranoia Seeps Through the Land

Speed: Slow, Range: 0, Target Land: Any - This power may be Fast. - You may push 1 of your Presence. - You may repeat this power for each Moon element you have.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.