#might as well make it easy
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Ooof.
It's been about a year now, and I'm still not entirely over my devastating friend breakup.
Like, I guess I AM over it in the sense that I'm pretty much fine. I did my grieving (Read: cried my eyes out on the living room rug, downed a bottle of too expensive wine at a sushibar while sorting through the devastation with Husband and QPP, listened to Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball and wallowed in self pity until I got tired of myself, wrote a lot of cruel/angry/miserable/desperate tumblr posts that didn't make it out of my drafts, read The Friendship by Connie Palmen and Take Care Of Yourself by Sophie Calle, found a modicum of peace with the fact that I really felt more humiliated than sad, you know.) and I mostly no longer think about it. It's not really a thing in my life anymore.
....
But holy fuck. I'm NOT over it in the sense that accidentally coming across anything they made is still a recipe for Instant Physical Panic. Like, heart racing, nausea, the works.
It's just...
I can't fucking believe they wrecked me so bad that accidentally seeing their art or their fics or even their bloody username makes my body respond with such instantaneous threat response, almost 9 months later still.
There they are, completely and utterly unaffected, and there am I, having hypertension over seeing their art reblogged on somebody else's blog. It's like the humiliation just won't end.
And whatever can I do about it? Nothing, that's what.
Except this.
One of the reasons I originally gave them the ick was my "bad habit" of publicly processing all my feelings; guess I'm not escaping that allegation. Still. I'm lancing the boils of this grief, one by one. Better out in the open than festering inside.
#disaster thoughts#disaster lore#it just occurred to me#i should collect and tag all the posts I made about this drama#and like make a masterpost of it#so it's more accessible to strangers#I know *I* love browsing people's blogs for personal drama#might as well make it easy#about friendship#friendship breakup#friend breakup#grieving#complicated feelings
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you are so whimsical i qant to check out this mdzs (..??) because of your whimsical nature thank you sorry im very high and your art moved me emotionally
This is simultaneously the sweetest and funniest thing someone has sent me, thank you.
#ask#non-mdzs#I have a hunch you will not recall sending this to me but I wish to immortalize it.#The progression of me going 'aw' to 'barking with laughter' at the last bit of this message was a delight.#Oh man what to say about getting into MDZS...#I admit I'm probably low on the list of people who should be recommending it.#I enjoy it! But there are also a ton of different adaptations that each do a slightly different thing with the story and characters.#Personally I loved The Untamed (Netflix live action) for how campy the action was. It got emotional but really...It made me laugh.#And I love watching it with people because it also makes them laugh.#(The Untamed changes a lot of plot elements so it isn't looked upon very favourably by many fans. I love it as its own thing)#Don't get me wrong; it *is* a story with interesting things to say and I certainly have written tons of analysis on it.#But it's also a series I spent over a year making parody comics of. It comes from a place of love!#The audio drama is really good and I think it might be the best form of mdzs...however finding episodes is not easy.#The audio drama is also what I'm basing all these comics on!#There is a book (the primary source) An animated series and a comic to check out as well.#Someone probably has a better pitch and recommendation list than I do. I just make the funny comics.
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so like do you think they made the plastic wheelchair ALONGSIDE the plastic prison as a Just In Case situation, only after they realized charles was going to be a frequent visitor, or both as in because they knew charles was going to be the only person visiting him during planning they decided to make him a chair ahead of time
#xmen#x2: x men united#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#not really but yes it is#snap chats#secret fourth option is they just had a plastic wheelchair at the mansion just in case this incredibly specific scenario happened jvlkaervj#part of me hopes the staff just Knew cause imagine being THAT divorced publicly but another part hopes erik asked for one. not politely ofc#def joked bout how charles couldnt think to leave him alone for five minutes lest he did something Uncouth somehow ik he did#that charles was going to show up sooner or later so they might as well make it easy for themselves and prep etc etc#girl ima throw up what if charles didnt visit tho .... thats not even a possibility cause ofc he did but still !!!!#personally id throw up and cry like wdym my best friend ex husband didnt show up. when i even asked for a chair for him ..#EVEN ASKED FOR A SILLY LIL PLASTIC CHESS SET alternatively what if charles brought that... im making myself sick#As Indicated By My Username i think of the plastic jail every day its so funny to me and so quaint#i should rewatch X2 just for plastic jail#like it makes sense and i do think its a cute detail but still. gotta put grandpa in the polly pocket prison set now. tragic !!#i remember watching the movie for the first time in recent years and audibly going 'aw' at the plastic wheelchair im so sorry JVLKEJKA#LIKE AWW CMON THATS WEIRDLY CUTE gotta make sure peepaw can visit his ex husband </3 so they can play chess </3#i love that chess is Their Thing ... any time a ship's got mfers who fucks heavy with chess i know im hooked#its not intentional things happen this way but i will still laugh#kk nightly cherik posting is done byebye
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things which, while not universally hated, are often treated with disdain by some ttrpg players:
pvp
dungeon crawls
resource tracking
unwinnable fights/situations
metagaming
gm not preparing the adventure details beforehand
things am trying to put in my games
pvp
dungeon crawls
resource tracking
unwinnable fights/situations
metagaming
gm not preparing the adventure details beforehand
#algie might make ttrpgs#bcos i LIKE these when used well#admittedly the resource tracking in my current in progress game is not super crunchy#u have a number. u can use em for advantage on rolls or lose em when things break bad.#but also that's partly bcos time is weird in this setting soooooo#(also it is bcos i. have brain bad. and math is hard.)#im trying to make a dungeon crawl game but the mechanics are sorta simplified#idk how much can be left up to gm's discretion tho we'll see how it playtests#i WANT to believe that 'give a greater effect for actions that do something Clever#like targeting a revealed weakness or building on what someone else did'#would be. clear info for the gm. and easy to implement.#buuuuut we'll. see
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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I just recently started following you so i don't have the full lore of your murderous gay religiously traumatized doggos, BUT, from my understanding, they are Italian and i don't know what part of Italy they are from, yet i can't help headcanoning Vasco as Tuscan, while Machete is probably from some part of Veneto. And as an Italian who has heard Tuscans and Veneto dialet, well it's an hilarious mental image.
Vasco is indeed Tuscan, Florentine to be specific. He comes from a wealthy and influential noble family that has lived in Florence for centuries. He's proud of his roots, and it's usually easy for strangers to tell where he's from. He's a resonably successful politician and has worked as an ambassador and representative of Florence on numerous occasions.
Machete is originally Sicilian (ironically about as far from Veneto as possible), although he was taken to mainland at young age and has lived in several places since then, before ending up in Rome. The way I see it, he exhibits very little local color, his demeanor and (even though Italian hadn't become a standardized language yet) way of speaking are formal, neutral and scarcely give away any hints about his personal history, at least in the 16th century canon.
#I tend to take the easy way out with the various Italian dialects/languages and temper their effect on how the dog world works#even though to my understanding in reality they differ drastically from each other even today and they aren't always mutually intelligible#especially when you compare northern and southern ones#I know at least Sicilian is so different from modern day Italian it's considered a separate language entirely#it isn't the only one but I'm not a linguist and not even Italian so I'm not really qualified to be explaining any of this to you#main point is that my dogs are well traveled educated and adaptable so I'd like to believe that they manage#otherwise making this whole scenario work would become very complicated#language barriers aplenty#Machete is a fast learner with a natural knack for languages so he absorbs/decodes new ones easily#and I can see him acting as an interpreter if necessary#which is a valuable trait for someone working as the secretary of state I'd imagine#a lot of people he ends up dealing with speak at least passable Latin so at a pinch they might perhaps try switching to that?#Vasco might have a Tuscan flavor but Machete is more of a blank slate (at least in public and at work)#answered#fallenoftheromaempire#feel free to correct me if I've gotten something wrong I'm not an expert and this stuff is complicated for an outsider
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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Spent more hours than I'd like to admit playing with Renn Cosmetic's Build Your Own Makeup and I think I might make some edits in terms of colors! But for now she's looking pretty fricking cute! Thank you to @thefreelanceangel who showed off her own usage of this kit with Anna!
#Pigeon Screens#odette hollows#might darken up her eye shadow and maybe alter the lipgloss shine a little#and I think I gotta alter the blush a lil'#BUT OVER ALL#I like it a lot#and the BYOM is VERY easy to use!!!! the video guide is well done and the description lists the other things you need to download#very good crime#very handy#thank you to angel for linking it first because AHHHHHH#not having odette's makeup was killing me!!!! weeps#still might think about getting a custom one done but this is SO nice#and I will be making special ones for scenes and events#like dates with lia :wistful:#anyway#logs out of ffxiv to play other games
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Continuing to think about This AU idea and just, slowly rotating it like a microwave.
@phoenixcatch7 had the fun idea of xenomorph-inspiration and the dollhouse being replaced by the Hive instead and I am here for that. A large cave that feels utterly wrong to anyone not part of their colony, if they can even find it. I am thinking something similar to Gemini Home Entertainment if anyone has watched that, with something between plant and flesh growing across the walls. Where one can't tell the difference between the two, or realize that it's already gripping onto them. The caves are already dangerous after all, nevermind the depths that It doesn't let anyone else into.
Also made me think about Jason, and like, so he doesn't die in the cryptid au, and definitely wouldn't in a world where he has a flesh puppet. But that still makes me think about how badly said puppet would be utterly maimed, right? Not to mention the explosion that would burn a lot of it too alongside whatever affect that'd have on his mind and human body. But now I am thinking of how the tunnels are everywhere under Gotham, how the bits of tendrils can reach through that ash, can meld with it, can for a cocoon of sorts. Turning a little robin into something else, letting it evolve into something new.
I am also rotating on if they'd be known to the Justice League like in the Doll au or if only Clark knows about them like in the Genesis au. Tempted for the second if only so there can be fun distinctly Not Human moments. Maybe the Justice League even getting concerned for their friend Superman because there's times he'll whistle or chirp under his breath (he might have picked up a few habits from his friends from Gotham) or literally snap his teeth if he's startled.
But oh the lil robins would probably be so adorable. Very fluffy and downy and brightly colored in a clear warning, but still unsettling. The way they move isn't right, like a jerky contortionist, but can also go too fluid or completely inhumanely still within a heartbeat. Not helped by the fact they don't need to breathe. O h, the batfam could most definitely be venomous. What with how in both Aus they use paralytics and sedatives on their claws and spikes, It could definitely include that within the secondary bodies.
#what's out there au#possessed doll au#y'know what I think I might call this the Meat Marionette Au lol#Meat Marionette Au#Batman Au#Cryptid batman#Cryptid batfam#body horror#rambles#I like to think that if their gifted bodies are damaged too much It takes from their human bodies#Bruce wakes up with a spine of metal partially ripped into his back one day#Jason finds ones of his arms becoming rough & clawed like a bird's-the same one that was obliterated in the other body-#It means there's still stakes for the bodies & that they can't just tank everything#They're lucky that it's been things easy to hide so far but there's always that worry of *what if* in the back of their minds each battle#Thankfully it has to be like permanent damage to effect both of their bodies#like straight up maiming#Smaller injuries just mean horrible migraines or phantom pains depending on the type of wound & the severity#They might struggle with humanity slightly because they forget that normal humans can't make certain noises or hear that well#or that they can't *smell fear*#Gotham is both terrified of and loves the bats#The babies are adorable but the parent is terrifying & can unhinge its jaw and open up its ribs and *yeah*#But that's Gotham for you they suppose#Honestly also pondering Jarro because like his body shape is very different compared to a human lol#I do like to think that they all have bits of black veins across their bodies over their hearts and such#Honestly perhaps Alfred is more mentally effected than the others seeing as he's right on top of the cave all night#I'm just saying he also deserves a second body#Tumblr plz don't eat my tags thank you
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oh. paimon said it.
"The end is close once we get back to where we started."
-From the last paired photo spot of Mementos of Teyvat event-
#not really a spoiler but people might prefer to experience it for themselves#from the mementos of teyvat event in game#genshin impact#kaeyachi randoms#right how many tags does it take to hide the other tags again?#is this enough? i hope it is lmao#mond endgame YIPEE#LETS GO MONDSTADT#mond going: well that was easy...suspiciously easy...#also for kaeyanation out there remember the kaeya hangout thing?#where venti says kaeya will find a way back home??#and also saying he wants kaeya and us the traveler at the ending?#mondstadt makes me feel insane
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good-ending!kakashi and itachi need to have a little former traumatized geniuses cooking club where they get comfortable with making little "mistakes" and putting imperfect dishes on the table and improvising without needing to explain themselves like it's life or death
#the “former” is aspirational and v cute#probably sai and tenzo also join at some point#of course gai joins in occasionally because he's not to be outdone by his rival with cooking of all things#and also with these four it can get depressing quick#iruka is invited once as a courtesy when he shows up to work with one too many kitchen injuries lol#if there's one thing they're not the cooking club is not clumsy#... unfortunately he is quietly assigned a buddy any future attendances#usually itachi because itachi can put out fires very quickly#or sai because sai is (frustratingly) talented in the kitchen and doesn't feel he's missing out on practice#neji might also participate sometimes! he wasn't ever anbu but he probably needs the therapy-ness of it#he's not a huge group activities person but sai invites him and he's surprised by how low-key it is#he gets a little competitive with itachi lol#since itachi doesn't care about things like using all whole-grains or only organics or attempting to make a recipe vegan#he's very good at following directions don't get me wrong but he's not much of an experimenter unless he knows a dish super well#while neji just knows which replacements to use after doing it for so long#neji isn't super militant about it but he watches his diet to make sure it isn't imbalanced/overly protein heavy#and like itachi he doesn't care for strong tasting meat so he'll preferentially choose fish or plant proteins#this is what finally makes things more easy between the two of them! some of the others want to make a meat-heavy dish one time#but itachi isn't feeling it and neji shows him how to do a tofu alternative!#long tags#naruto#from the margins#hatake kakashi#uchiha itachi#hyuga neji#sai#yamato tenzo#umino iruka#omegaverse
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Horse Riding Shenanigans
(Glass Door Shenanigans)
#feel free to reblog!#apologies in advance I couldn’t help but make a horse joke for Jean#Erwin’s might be controversial but just picture teenage Erwin trying his best but overcompensating#CANONLY Armin still misses his horse when he does odm gear landings#plus you can’t tell me Armin and historia took an extra day trying to find the easiest way to mount the horses#Eren is… well he’s Eren#ymir was isolated as a pure titan for like 60 years and you’re telling me she wouldn’t be a lil wary at first#Connie and Hange get distracted too easy (titans and bugs n shit)#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot memes#sasha braus#marco bodt#bertholdt hoover#levi ackerman#mikasa ackerman#annie leonhart#eren jaeger#ymir#erwin smith#reiner braun#jean kirschtein#armin arlert#historia reiss#connie springer#hange zoë#marco bott#jean kirstein#eren yeager
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you know. i feel like chara is obviously a very complex character and has a lot of problems and a lot going on, but i always thought that the fact that the whole wanting to kill people from their village was like. not that bad. in and of itself.
#just considering the fact too that the anniversary newsletter this year more or less fully confirmed what was suspected for many years#like. it is not GOOD but i understand it#i think i may be projecting here but at the same time when you are a kid in a situation like that#it is not just the fact that someone is hurting you in some way#a lot of the time it becomes easy to extend that to the whole world. other people can hurt you in smaller ways that feel so much bigger when#things are already bad. adults who should have helped you fail you by not doing so#and there can be a lot of reasons to that. most of the time people genuinely do not know#but from a kid’s perspective it can feel like the whole world is against you#so given the power that they had and the motivation now that they thought they would be helping by collecting the souls and that maybe that#was even what was expected of them (not actually but how they might have felt)#i don’t know. not their worst crime. i get it#chara undertale they could never make me hate you. i would not have been so kind#ALSO i think with a lot of people oversimplifying asriel as well they miss the fact that in hindsight he says he understands that maybe#fighting back would have been better and that there are a lot of dangerous people out there
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well, i think i've edited it to my satisfaction, and so now here is my official post about it: i've posted a little isekai supplement for (ttrpg of your choice) on itch.io! create a story-within-a-story and play as readers of a Very Cool Book who have suddenly found themselves trapped within that book, in the bodies of characters who they already know are doomed.
the mechanics borrow from trophy dark, and push you to risk walking to your own doom in order to gain the upper hand in your story.
(if you've seen my blog these past few days you've probably seen my drafts of it, but for one (1) dollar you can get it all nicely edited and laid out in a pretty little pdf)
#algie might make ttrpgs#ttrpg#well. a little supplement.#little an isekai. as a treat.#it is 6 pages and easy and u get to get meta with it (and by it i mean doomed blorbos)#someday i'll finish up a more complicated game but in the meantime here is this#if u can't afford a dollar and we're like. friends. mutuals. long time follower but not mutual bcos i'm lazy.#dm me and i'll give u for freebies
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janky as all hell but hlev is now real
#my art#sewing#(i guess)#myths are 100% true#ma100t#leathericecream#hlev pekarovic#probably only took me like ~10 to make? pretty darn quick#i was just thinking how he looked relativly easy to make out of felt and shit#wish some parts looked cleaner but ehh its alright#might make tortino at some point as well....maybe peka too? engine? we'll see
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When Minkowski hugs Eiffel in Ep31 Sécurité, she just grabs hold of him without making a sound, and the listener only knows about the hug because of the "oof" noise Eiffel makes in reacting to having "the wind knocked straight out of him", and the script directions say that Minkowski has "tears silently streaming down her face", and Eiffel is the one who directly acknowledges the hug verbally ("Don't apologise for hugging"). If all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we probably wouldn't know that they hugged.
When Eiffel hugs Minkowski in Ep54 The Watchtower, he first tells her "C'mere, give us a hug!", and he makes a happy sound of effort as he squeezes her, and Minkowski - under the influence of Pryce's restraining bolt - doesn't seem to have any reaction at all, which Eiffel doesn't appear to notice. Once again, if all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we wouldn't know that they hugged.
The question of 'in what ways is the hug made audible?' feels much more significant in audio than it would in any another medium, and I do think it reflects something about these characters and their willingness to be open with their affection. Minkowski "grabs him and hugs him" hard enough to knock the wind out of him, but she does so silently. In a somewhat similar but also very different moment of reunion, Eiffel "embraces her" and he's not quiet as he does it. There's something about how Communications Officer Eiffel is always the one who verbalises their physical affection, whether or not he's the one who initiated the hug. The closest Minkowski gets to verbally acknowledging a hug is through an apology; Eiffel is the one who makes the hugs real for the listener.
#Wolf 359#w359#Doug Eiffel#Renée Minkowski#Renee Minkowski#This links into how Eiffel is in many ways a protagonist built for the audio medium#He reacts to things and he tends to do so loudly#Also when Minkowski tells Eiffel 'shut up. just stop talking' during the Sécurité hug#the script direction for that line is '(tiny)'#and that makes me feel things#She's emotional in a way that makes her voice tiny...#I know I talk about Eiffel & Minkowski hugs in basically every other post#but I'm doing it again#If anyone is following me who doesn't want to hear about Eiffel & Minkowski hugs#then they are probably lost and should look elsewhere#I think it's probably not easy to make a hug obvious in audio drama without it sounding a little awkward#It's not necessarily a very audible interaction#(Which might be why I don't think there's really anything in the audio#to indicate the script direction that Eiffel and Lovelace hug in Ep56 Idle Hands)#The Magnus Archives managed it pretty well with their fabric rustles#but those don't live in my heart like Eiffel's hug noises#the empty man posteth#wolf 359 spoilers#w359 spoilers#Eiffel & Minkowski
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