#meteor slime

[misfauxpas]

Slugcat of the Day #184

I have officially made every slime in Slime Rancher, including this cut content Meteor Slime, into a slugcat

the slime icon is from the fanon wikia

[reverseisekai-richie]

Aww... Pokey is getting into the weeb spirit of this blog.

[mogai-starchive]

[PT :: MeteoriteSlimic

A gender related to the meteorite slime from slime rancher 1!

The meteorite slime was cut from early game development due to its roles being filled by other slimes in the glass desert. They wouldve been able to attract things around them, and give them low gravity effects. // End PT]

MeteoriteSlimic

A gender related to the meteorite slime from slime rancher 1!

The meteorite slime was cut from early game development due to its roles being filled by other slimes in the glass desert. They wouldve been able to attract things around them, and give them low gravity effects.

[crazycatfics]

Meteor effect one shot 51

Slime Jevin

[thatdeadaquarius]

GREETINGS! How are you doing? I've been practically gobbling up your posts (there very tasty)

Ok so hear me out- I've seen a couple posts like this but imagine-

The almighty all powerful wise creator isss

✨️A literal child✨️

Thanks for hearing me out! For you ->->❤️

Baby you taking on the world aw

DAMN SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER!! i started fics before i answered my askbox :/

Aw i fucking love child reader stuff,

Lots of isekai animes/manhwa/manga do it and i eat that shit up everytime-

I also deeply appreciate when its not done creepily, like being turned 8 again, and having crushes on others who are... yknow, actually 8 yrs old or sm fucked up shit, like even if its 16 yr olds that doesnt make it any better, bc the protag will actually be like,, actually 20?!?!💀 the straights r wild man, i feel like it happens either way too, like its usually a male MC but thats just bc theyre more common tbh, like regardless of gender of protag 🥲

☆

Sun: Child God Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Short Headcanons

Stars: Mondstadt ppl bc i don't show them i love them enough

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment any I missed. /gen

Klee has recruited converted you to throwing bombs with her.

You are the only leash on that child too and the only thing standing between Jean and full head of gray hair. 💀

Kaeya doesn’t know whether he’s endlessly worried or endlessly amused that the most powerful god is currently a child

if Jean isnt freaking out over ur whereabouts, Diluc is instead, and worst case scenario, Noelle/Lisa/Albedo is in charge of you

and YES someone has to look out for you, bc ur ass will just start making a hot springs spot like ur in ur teapot or smth in dragonspine (Albedo was fascinated it stayed warm despite the weather so he let you make it/enjoy it before asking u to restore natural order lol)

(Albedo has definitely asked to study you and, unfortunately for Jean, asked u to demonstrate several powers u have)

You do work as a lucky charm for Bennett tho so he does babysit u sometimes

it mostly consists of Fischl, Benny, and Razor “adventuring” by trying to do smth like who can jump on the Anemo slimes and ride them around longest

(the answer is you btw, u managed to get a small fleet of them to bus you around, the teens were simultaneously terrified running around below u to catch you and also amazed)

Noelle is so happy making toddler you all the pancakes you can eat, Sucrose had to stop her from going overboard and not just listening completely to kids when it comes to food

She is now very concerned with making you a balanced diet, tho she will still make u an ungodly tall stack of pancakes every now and then <3

They kind of all equally provide for you, obv ur their god, and ur a literal cutie patootie child, they cant just leave you

(also u might like move a mountain or change the weather or smth if they don't watch you so most are a little paranoid of that too)

Lisa gets u all kinds of cute outfits, still stuff you'd like, but definitely snuck in some sumeru looking clothing lol

Fischl lends you all kinds of books to read, Bennett shows u all the cool views in the city and outside of it (when Jean lets him get away with taking u that far), and Razor…

Razor brings you to Andrius and the wolf pack for a wolf pack party and gives u all kinds of shiny trinkets he’d collected for you

Diluc/Jean/Noelle/Eula nearly had a heart attack when they found out

Amber lets you have all the piggyback rides you want lol

she even managed with her own crafting powers (and your probably editing the game code or smth) she somehow makes a reinforced glider with a small harness on the back for you to glide with her

(Venti has definitely helped for some fun flights by boosting the winds for you two)

SPEAKING OF BARBATOS

ur absolutely spoiled rotten by him (and Dvalin, and Andrius, and the wind sprites)

if this god had money he’d spend it on wine and you lol

takes u flying all the time, any time, would drop everything to go to Mondstadt wilds and use his archon form wings to take you wherever you wanna go

tries to bring u to Angel’s Share but Diluc nearly hits him on the head with a wine bottle and brings you back home after kicking Venti out and giving you grape juice (yes you get all you want, within a healthy amount)

anyway the most important part abt you being a god and child is that you can now fulfill your childhood dreams of riding a dragon whenever you want

(one way to quickly get Mondstadt citizens to trust Dvalin again was just constantly seeing him flying overhead, occasionally seeing a small child on his back also helped lol)

(neither you nor Venti tell Jean you ride Dvalin and keep it an active secret from her.)

☆

srry i took so long! i hope u liked my hot mess of writing (i think its even sloppier than usual bc of all the fic writing full sentences lately)

and if not, I'm sorrryyy 😭😭

I'm focusing on getting thru a haul of asks before getting around to posting that Eldritch AU Part 2 if anyone reads this :)

hope u guys are have a great weekend, thanks for all the birthday wishes!! :D

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[thegoldendaystrikesback]

Vague SVSSS x The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals crossover Au

One day Shen Yuan is just minding his own business, going home at night, and then a fucking meteor lands near him? What the fuck??

He decides to investigate it (since he is an idiot) and finds an unconscious young man lying in a puddle of weird red slime-thing near the impact crater.

Shen Yuan shakes him awake and immediately starts fretting over him. The guy just almost got hit by a fucking meteor, of course he is worried.

The man (who introduces himself as Luo Binghe) seems a bit out of it, so Shen Yuan brings him to the hospital. He seems to have no injuries except he apparently has amnesia??

This is horrible! Shen Yuan just can't leave this gorgeous poor young amnesiac all alone! So he decides to bring this Luo Binghe to his home. So he could recover of course! It has nothing to do with Luo Binghe's sad pathetic eyes or the fact that he looks drop-dead gorgeous. Not at all. He is just worried for the guy! He is the one who found him, they have a special bond now. Besides, finders keepers!

(What Shen Yuan doesn't know is that Luo Binghe has been hollowed out and replaced by an alien hivemind.

At first he wanted to replace Shen Yuan too, but he too quickly became enamored by this weird charming human

Time fast forward, Luo Binghe first replaces Shen Yuan's friends and family and then replaces ALL of humanity with himself so that he can always be with his Yuan ge <3

He doesn't have to be jealous of other people if other people are also him)

[thewertsearch]

AG: I know what happened. […] AG: […] You clo88ered your nanna to death with the aforementioned joke 8ook. 8ut it wasn't your fault. You were 8oth just little wigglers, riding meteors from the future. AG: You cre8ted yourself, your nanna, Jade, her grandpa, not to mention Dave and Rose and their guardians, all in a la8 using paradox slime, and sent them 8ack in time as the silly gru8s with arms and legs you call 8a8ies. […] AG: I paid close attention to all this, 8ecause I thought it might give me some clues a8out us and our ancestors, who were made the same way.

Not exactly the same way, mind. Karkat’s Veil appeared to clone each troll from three parents, rather than two – but each of the trolls looks basically identical to the Ancestor who shares their sign, so it's unclear if they have three parents, or one.

I’ve gone back and forth on this, but I currently think the most likely explanation is that the Veil tried to mix troll DNA the same way the Mother Grub does. In other words, each troll might technically be cloned from three genetic parents, but they have only one Ancestor, and the Ancestor contributes the vast majority of that Player’s DNA.

GT: what's happening? AG: We are going on an adventure. GT: where? AG: Through your memories. AG: Through mine too. AG: This would 8e a really fun thing to do on a d8, I think!

Would it? For you, specifically, Vriska?

I can’t think of a single experience you had on Alternia that wasn’t in some way traumatic.

AG: That is my hive, which is a thing that you refer to as a house. AG: It's where I grew up.

And this certainly isn’t one.

[insomniamamma]

The One That I Call Baby: Marcus Pike x F!reader

A/N: I have no excuse for this. Peri menopause is fucking wild y'all. I got hit by the horny meteor. And who better to explore something you're not sure of with Marcus Pike?

Warnings: Reader is old enough to be divorced. Reader has a shitty ex. Reader has limited sexual experience. Implied infertility. Shame surrounding sex. Look. My period hit like a freight train and I'm making it everyone else's problem. Face fucking. Blowjob. Toys. Soft!Dom Marcus needs his own warning. Egregious use of Baby as a nickname.

“You checked my search history!” You feel your ears and cheeks going hot. You wish with your whole heart you had a nuclear bunker to crawl into, or maybe a way to launch yourself into the sun.

“You fell asleep with your laptop open,” says Marcus. You can barely glance at him because you know what you’ll see. No judgement, just him, those warm eyes that peer into yours, that see right down to the roots of you.

“You weren’t supposed to see-“ you laugh and it comes out high and strangled, “You’re not even supposed to— your flight-“

“There was an empty seat,” he says, “I wanted to get home to you, Baby.” And you melt. As you always do. The first time Marcus called you Baby you’d almost laughed in his face, sharp retort crawling up your throat and then you’d seen his eyes. Childless and divorced, you were nobody’s baby, but the way he looked at you, the way his hand slid soft along your side to rest on your hip, the feather-light brush of his knuckles against the curve of your cheek, Baby, can I kiss you? And you answered the only way you could.

“Is this something you would like to try?” He asks and you nod, embarrassed. Only ever been with your ex before Marcus, and his idea of foreplay was to kiss you and paw at your tits and then rut his way inside. His idea of changing things up in the bedroom was doggy instead of missionary. Made you feel like sex was a mechanical necessity, a way to get a baby out of things and nothing more. Did the bare minimum to get you wet enough for him to jam himself in there. “Use your words, Baby.” And he watches you mull it over, watches you worry at your lip, and when your eyes flick up to his and you say yeah, it fills him with equal parts pride and melancholy. Grief that you were ever so ashamed of your own desires and your lack of experience (rage at the absolute piece of shit who made you feel this way) pride at how far you’ve come, how safe you feel with him now, and a tinge of sadness about how even the mildest of fantasies cause you such consternation. “Yeah. It just—it was really hot.”

“Suck it,” he murmurs, presses the dildo to your lips. You lay on your shared bed and he stands beside you, cock tenting his boxers. There’s comfort in knowing that he’s as turned on as you. “That’s right. Take it real deep.”

You whimper around the intrusion, slow shallow thrust between your lips, his other hand stroking feather light over your panties, “Show me how you’re gonna suck me. Show me you want it.” Shoves deep into your throat and you buck against his fingers, cry out against the silicone and he draws it slow from your mouth, little teasing movements. "You like this,” says Marcus, traces the silicone cock over your collarbones and across your aching nipples, and when your mouth falls open in a soft cry he pushes his fingers in, salt of his skin on your tongue. “There you go. You need something in that mouth, don’t you, Baby?” Presses the spit-slimed dildo into you, sinks it deep and you whimper. “That won’t do at all, will it?” Thrusts his fingers in and out of your mouth, mirroring the movement of the fake cock inside you, his other hand grabs yours and guides you to the toy’s flared base.

Marcus takes himself out, grips the back of your head, and slides himself shallow in your waiting mouth and then withdraws, smearing his leaking head over your lips, draws back when you chase him “-please!” “Please, what?” “Marcus-“ “Words, Baby, you need me? You need me to fuck that pretty mouth while you get yourself off?” Teases your lips with the rough pad of his thumb. “Yes.” “Say it.” “Need your cock in my mouth,” “Good girl.” Slides himself into you, salt of pre cum on your tongue, fills you, soft, velvet skin sliding against your lips, but when try to you draw back he doesn’t let you, grips the back of your head and pushes himself deep, filing your mouth, pushing against the back of your throat, remember the signal, he murmurs, and then snaps his hips and you can’t breathe, so full of him, nose pressed into his wiry curls.

“Keep fucking yourself. Did I say you could stop?” And you can breathe again, stuttered sob as he pinches a nipple between his fingers. “So pretty like this. So good for me. You can take it even deeper. I know you can.”

Your body burns, you nipples throb like embers, soft involuntary cries around Marcus’s cock as the thrusts into your mouth, shallow and teasing and then so deep you lose your breath, pinned like a bug as he rocks rocks rocks into you, bright edged spots dancing behind your eyes, and his hand folds over yours, pushing the toy deeper into you, matching the rhythm of his cock in your mouth. You keen, muffled cries around him, need like a coiled spring in your belly, wound ever tighter. “Come for me, Baby,” he says, “Come with my cock in your mouth.” Purr of his voice tips you over the edge and you arch hard against him, even as he spills down your throat, scream around him, voice muffled my him, breath constrained by him. You come. Hard. Pinned. Writhing. And then he’s withdrawing, pulls his softening cock from your mouth, and the toy from your weakly fluttering cunt, feel wetness slip warm from you, and that old embarrassment tries to creep in but he’s there, Marcus is right there, gathering you into his arms, kissing your wanting mouth, dipping his tongue between your trembling lips, soft and languid and unhurried, kisses the crown of your head.

“Pretty Baby,” he speaks into your sweaty hair, cups the back of your head in his warm palm and tucks you into the hollow of his shoulder, “You did so well for me.” And you prickle with a mix of shame and pride.

The rise and fall of his chest, calloused fingers tracing over the curves of your arms, the planes of your shoulders, his breath in your hair lulls you. “Marcus?” “Hmmm?” “I like when you call me Baby. Makes me feel safe. I don’t know why.” His arms tighten around you. “You’re always safe with me. Always.

[hypostatic-oath]

I'm so happy you like my ask (this is long overdue).

I bet that the people of Fontaine are very happy because i have been doing nothing but hanging out with the Melusine instead of doing the archon quest(though that will eventually come to an end soon). I also bet that new laws/regulations are being proposed because the amount of wacky stuffs the Traveler and their companions is up to all the time. Imagine you just joined the Traveler's team and your first experience is watching a forest watcher beat up some of Fontaine's local legends lmao (and after your recent post, Childe is seething if he learned of this).

Can i be 🚬 anon?(unless you don't do that here)

Named anons? On my blog? Omg I feel honored - of course you can be 🚬 anon! Welcome :D

New laws being proposed because of the traveler is amazing. It has the same vibe as that gliding law in Mondstadt about taking off using anemo slimes (yes, it works, no, it is not very useful as far as I know. I don't even remember if you get an achievement), because you KNOW there's a story behind it, someone must have tried it and it must've gone very, very wrong, and the wacky circumstances that lead to the creation of new laws would be hilarious to witness.

However, on a more serious note, Wriothesley and Neuvillette would be grappling with the issue of teleportation - how do you arrest someone who can simply just... leave? It doesn't matter how secure a prison is if a bored entity can just take control of one of the prisoners and whisk them away on a whim? Worse yet, since Wriothesley is officially a Vessel, what would happen if an Overseer decided to take control of him and sign official pardons? New rules in the Fortress of Meropide have been implemented - any orders given by the Duke while he is on the team are automatically overruled unless it can be proven that he is acting of his own accord.

I can only imagine how confusing it feels for the newcomers to suddenly join the team and find themselves in the kind of situations the Traveler faces daily... and for the onlookers, of course. "Oh, I wonder who that newcomer is... such a distingushed gentleman, perhaps he's here on business?" "Guys, not to scare you or anything, but that 'distinguished gentleman' dropped a meteor on a crab." "Oh, yes, that huge crab in the-" "No. A regular crab. On the smaller side, even. He just threw a huge meteor at it - didn't even bat an eye. The crab practically disintegrated." "What the hell."

And for those that don't know their teammates - any of the knights of Favonius being placed on a team with Klee know exactly what she's capable of, but someone less familiar with her is about to be shocked. "What in Celestia's name is the Overseer thinking? This is a child, she'll get hu- oh. Oh no."

On the other hand, imagine being a nun-turned-idol, looking to the side to check who your teammates are, and there's the Raiden Shogun standing there as if it's no big deal. A little bird lands on her fingers. She watches it with a wistful expression as it flies away. You look to the other side and see the Dendro Archon chatting with that kind but often drunk bard as if they're old friends. You find yourself in what looks like a domain but soon realise, with no small amount of dread, that you're in the Abyss. At least you have two Archons beside you... Barbatos help you, the challenge has started and there are more monsters than you thought. You're doing your best to keep all your teammates alive - you wouldn't forgive yourself if you were the indirect cause for the fall of a god. So you sing your song and put the hydro circle around your team, but there's just too many enemies, coming from all sides... And then you hear a faint "ehe", and the specters are pulled into a vortex of wind. The Shogun doesn't even need to pull out her signature move, just the swirl reaction the bard has caused is enough. You see him shoot down one of the things with a single Anemo-infused arrow. It dies immediately. He's dealing damage on par with the two Archons on the team. Just what is this bard capable of? Suddenly those rumors about him being Barbatos are starting to seem a little less nonsensical. Surely, it couldn't be true, right? You have half a mind to ask him about it once the four of you exit the Abyss, but as soon as you find yourself outside and able to regain your breath he just gives you a "whoops, gotta go!" and floats away on a wind current you're pretty sure he just created.

Now that I think of it, it'd be fun to imagine how different team dynamics would work - I'll make a separate post for this, but if you've read this far and want to send in asks with your team comps... 👀

[multi-fandomdisaster]

Here you go Soup anon! One order of Paul getting taken over by Pokey/the Hive!

(Word Count: 687)

All eyes were on him. Paul Matthews. Probably the most normal man in Hatchetfield. There was nothing particularly interesting about him, and yet they all watched him with those unnatural blue eyes. The meteor - the presumed “brain” of the Hive - was only a few feet ahead of Paul. This was the end. The “final boss." The atmosphere in the Starlight Theatre felt unnaturally thick, like something foreign was in the air. It made Paul uneasy. And then he heard it.

Music.

It was music in its most perfect form. It was Its music. The Song oozed into his thoughts, coating his mind like a thick coat of slime. It was disgusting, yet...oddly pleasant. It was so tempting...

The Song leapt from his mouth without warning. It was terrifying; like an odd sort of lapse into nothingness for a brief moment. Empty. Relaxing. Horrifying.

“What was that?” he asked.

“You let it out,” the Hive responded.

“Was that a note? 🎶Or just a sound? Am I finally coming 'round to a rhyming scheme?🎶”

Oh God.

Paul wanted it to stop. He felt like he was splitting in half, part of his mind - the sensible, real part of his mind - very adamantly protesting this sudden musical affliction that was taking over him, and the other part that thought that maybe letting it out wouldn’t be so bad...

NO!

The Hive surrounded him, Singing to him, urging him to join - to Let it Out. Paul wasn’t sure if he wanted it to stop or if he wanted to Sing along anymore.

The words left his mouth so effortlessly. Sure, he was still incredibly distressed, but there was a strange soothing feeling that overtook him as he Sang. It wasn’t just the Hive watching him anymore. There was an audience. If he looked beyond the spotlight, he could see a full crowd watching him with a thousand eyes. It was horrible. He couldn’t take this anymore.

Paul fought. And fought and fought and fought with all his might, until he managed to break through the sludge in his thoughts and pull the pin of the grenade in his hand. This was it. He was going to win. It didn’t matter if he had to sacrifice himself to get there. Hatchetfield would be safe. Emma would be safe.

“We will not be resisted!”

Paul looked out to the audience one last time, his own eyes slightly bluer than before, as he let out one last defiant shout.

“I DON’T LIKE MUSICALS!”

And that was the end.

....or maybe not?

Paul didn’t feel the pain he’d felt what had somehow seemed like simultaneously only moments, and yet an eternity before when his body had been partially decimated in the explosion in the Starlight. He blinked. His mind was clear. There was no Song. Just an odd silence.

I have to commend you, Paul. You did put on quite a show.

The Voice surrounded him. Paul should have felt fear, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t feel anything. He was a husk. A puppet ready to be used. A mind glazed over in a newly reformed body.

“Thank you,” Paul simply replied. It...felt...good to be praised.

I think it’s time you finish what We started. She’s waiting for you, you know.

Emma!

For a brief flicker Paul felt again. He wasn’t quite sure what it was that he felt anymore, but it was something. Fear? Excitement? Horror? Relief?

Oh God. He didn’t make it. He sacrificed himself for nothing. Now he was going to be used to get Emma too. Oh god, not her-

And then the Feelings and Thoughts ceased again. Paul was puppet once more, waiting for direction.

The finale is approaching. It’s almost time to take a bow for all of your hard work, Paul.

Paul smiled. Yes. It was the end of the show. The grand finale was growing ever nearer. He would get the girl. Unity would spread throughout the world. He would be a hero. He would be happy. He and Emma would be happy under the Singular Voice. It was Inevitable.

[starryg4rden]

SBG Slime Rancher AU!!

In this AU, everyone's aged up by a few years just so it makes sense for them to live alone

Also, time is very... vague. This is my silly AU just let me have fun

I don't have designs because, well, it's Slime Rancher. Have a field day they can wear whatever, they're not even on Earth

This post is actually much more detailed than my Twitter thread tbh

And do ask me questions!!! I love to yap

Ashlyn and Aiden are the only ones who have been living on the Far, Far Range their whole lives. Both Ash's parents and Aiden's parents came to the Far, Far Range before having a kid.

Other than them, Ben has been there the longest. Ben was sent to the Far, Far Range to live with Aiden's family after the whole thing with Shane. Ben's parents write to him semi-often.

Logan came next, and has only been on the Far, Far Range for 2-3 years. His parents disappeared mysteriously dw about it. His grandparents were worried at first, but let him go, and they still write to him all the time.

The twins came the most recently, only being there for a few months to a year. In this AU, Ethan is alive and Mariana is well!! Yippee!! They also write to their kids often.

Ashlyn's parents live on Beatrix/Hobson's ranch from the game (and have the same slimes as are from the game, excluding SR2), and it's where Ash grew up, but she lives with Taylor now, because they're married, because I said so. Ash kind of takes Hobson's place here.

Aiden and Ben live at Mochi's Manor, where Aiden's parents have quicksilver slimes.

Everybody else lives on their own ranch (which I just made up with vague ideas of places from the games).

Taylor and Tyler live on a place like Starlight Strand, Taylor's ranch being on the blue side, and Tyler's ranch being on the pink side. The blue side connects to an area like the Moss Blanket, and the pink side connects to an area like the Dry Reef and a beach like the one already on Starlight Strand in the game. Like I said earlier, Ashlyn is living with Taylor.

Logan lives in an area that's basically just the Ancient Ruins and the Glass Desert. His Glass Desert would connect to Ashlyn/Her parents' Glass Desert.

Ashlyn's parents, like I said, have all the normal slimes from SR1, and, again, like I said, Aiden's parents have quicksilver slimes.

The blue side of Starlight Strand (Taylor's side) has: (blue) flutter slimes, tabby slimes, tangle slimes, honey slimes, twin slimes, cotton slimes

The pink side of Starlight Strand (Tyler's side) has: flutter slimes, tabby slimes, tangle slimes, twin slimes, cotton slimes, pink slimes

The Moss Blanket has: (blue) flutter slimes, hunter slimes, tabby slimes, tangle slimes, honey slimes, phosphor slimes, shadow slimes, ringtail slimes, cotton slimes, yolky slimes

The Dry Reef & beach have: dervish slimes, angler slimes, puddle slimes, rock slimes

The Ancient Ruins have: quantum slimes, glitch slimes (Logan didn't make them, the rancher before him did), phosphor slimes, mosaic slimes

The Glass Desert has: quantum slimes, mosaic slimes, sloomber slimes, dervish slimes, crystal slimes, meteor slimes (I don't care if they were never actually added!)

And Ben has a portal to The Wilds! Don't ask why, I just wanted him to.

On their Ranch, of course everyone has the slimes from the areas connected to them, but here's what else they have (from Range Exchange):

Ashlyn & Taylor: puddle & (normal) flutter slimes (Stolen from Ty), mosaic slimes (from Logan), saber slimes (from Ben)

Tyler: hunter slimes (stolen from Tay), boom slimes (from Aiden), meteor slimes (from Logan)

Aiden: rock, boom, rad, & crystal slimes (all from Ash & her parents), fire slimes (from Ash, who found it and thought he'd like it), hunter, tangle, and dervish (from Ty)

Ben: mosaic slimes (from Logan), cotton slimes (from Tay)

Logan: cotton slimes (from Ty), saber slimes (from Ben), yolky slimes (from Tay)

Here's their favorite slimes:

Ashlyn: phosphor

Taylor: tabby

Tyler: twin

Aiden: fire

Ben: cotton

Logan: meteor

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 4, Part 4/4 (p. 1865-1988)

Read the previous post here.

Oh boy it's the final stretch for this Act. I want to take a moment to express my appreciation for all the new followers I've gained over the course of this reread. I have 60 now, which is incredible. Thank you all!

With that said, this post will contain some... sticky subject matter. I wonder how many of you will choose to dip after this.

[CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of incest starts below the second image]

Oh my fuck it's the ectobiology section. Out of all the convoluted and frivolous mechanics in Homestuck, this one might be the worst in my opinion. Worse than the adventure game jokes cribbed from Problem Sleuth, worse than the punch card alchemy and other ponderous Sburb mechanics... I'd say it's worse than the time travel shit, but this is actually more of a subset of that. So yeah, time travel continues to be the worst thing about Homestuck, and shit like this and the bunny subplot are prime examples of that. But my ire is fully directed at ectobiology at this moment.

The stuff I mentioned before at least has a purpose; they parody needlessly complicated video game mechanics. But ectobiology doesn't have a purpose. It's not funny, nor does it serve the story in a meaningful or even interesting way. So why does it exist? Is it to drive home the point that these select individuals are the "chosen ones" by Sburb? If I had to hazard a guess what Hussie meant by that...

Earth is a vile place and must be destroyed, so sayeth Sburb. Everything living on it is flawed by extension, so its chosen destroyers must be fully disconnected human society and the planet itself. These destroyers have been plucked from the aether and reconstituted from bullshit plot slime in a faraway part of time and space, ensuring that they are unquestionably divorced from anything from Earth, and therefore pure.

Now that I type all that out, it's no wonder none of the kids were all that shaken up about bringing about the apocalypse. Considering that they're essentially game constructs with no actual ties to humanity, it really throws away any sort of conflict and sense of sacrifice brought about by destroying the planet. All the innocents who perished in the meteor showers? Eh, fuck them! They were all NPCs anyway. All hail the slime people!

Okay, I'm sure this wasn't Hussie's actual intent, but if there's no grander symbolism at play, what else is there? None of this adds anything to the plot. The fact that the main cast are non-humans is never touched upon and the whole thing reads as superfluous sci-fi garbage. The only significance the meteors carrying the babies had was that John's Nanna died from a meteor strike. But it was already suggested way earlier that she died because she was crushed by the Colonel Sassacre book.

That was a perfectly serviceable, slightly comedic death befitting of a family of jokesters. There's no need to escalate it and involve a giant meteor.

One other thing I take umbrage with: because the cast were all birthed from the same slurry, this means that Dave and Rose are now """related""". They aren't related by blood, no, but by slime. Which, in the eyes of Hussie and the fandom at large, means the same thing, I guess. Even though they never grew up as siblings, lived separate lives in different parts of the country, and only met online as strangers before developing a (very flirtatiously charged) friendship, the fandom treats them as if they're flesh and blood brother and sister. It boggles my mind. Why is this being treated as legitimate? Did Hussie plan all along to take the two characters with the best chemistry only to pull a Luke and Leia on us? Why would he write them like that if this was his endgame? Does he just have an incest fetish?

I wouldn't doubt it because themes of incest are actually quite pervasive within Homestuck. And that's without even mentioning how Hussie developed an alien race that fundamentally relies on incest to reproduce. Ectobiology creates several relationships, incidental or otherwise, that tie nearly the entire main cast in a complicated web of pseudo-familial dynamics. Like John is actually the kids' progenitor/father because he's the one who brought them all into existence. So even if he isn't related to Rose or Dave by genes or slime, he still gave birth to them in a sense.

I've even seen people say that since Betty Crocker/The Condesce was Nanna's adopted mother, that makes the Egbert/Crocker/Harley/English family tree "related" to the Peixes trolls, so any ship with that combination is "incest." What if I told you that Feferi is related to all the other trolls via bullshit slime mechanics as well? I guess that makes Johnkat incest too. And if John is Dave's father... gasp! Davekat is also incest!? It's over folks, burn everything down.

Anyway, I don't acknowledge Rose and Dave as biological siblings because I don't treat being born from a vat of slime as the same as being birthed from the same womb. That would be treating ectobiology as valid and sensible, which I refuse to do. I don't want to lend Hussie's fixation on incest any amount of approval. All I know is that the trolls are made of the same stupid plot sludge and nobody cares if you ship them. There are no humans and trolls: only slime constructs. Either everyone is related or none of them are. You can't have both.

In the end, none of this matters. The world would be a much happier place if we all collectively agreed to forget ectobiology's existence. If this ruffles your feathers, just block me. Don't come at me because I'll just ignore you.

So Grandpa Harley had time-traveled forward to the future and into Sburb before returning to the past, living out his life on Earth, and dying. Fucking okay I guess!

At least this answers the question I had that yes, Mom Lalonde knew what she was doing before entering the game because Grandpa told her everything. Same with Bro and Dad, it seems.

Ah yes, Dad x Mom. A relationship that ends nearly as soon as it begins. Let's put this right alongside the Exile love triangle and DaveTav in the "relationships that are teased but never manifest into anything meaningful" pile.

"Ackshually, everyone was born from a vat of slime on a distant meteor and sent back to Earth to live out their lives!" - the ramblings of an utter lunatic.

Like god fucking forbid the kids be normal people placed in extraordinary circumstances.

The babies all gravitate to the things they'll have a connection to in the future. Nanna gets her son's hat, Bro gets Cal, etc. Dave clings to Maplehoof, which doesn't seem like a clear connection. Except... that's Rose's horse, isn't it? Ohhh. It all makes sense now. 😏

This exchange is a top 10 Karkat moment for sure.

The supposed saviors that will revive the human race aren't even human, they're slime creatures! Beyond the fact that none of them are human, the Superman analogy falls flat because none of these kids are humanity's protectors. They're just following the whims of a game that ultimately does not give a fuck about any of them.

I need "JOHN EGBERT, YOU HAVE ASSASSINATED MY PATIENCE." emblazoned on a banner or something.

Also Karkat calls Superman a "Caucasian alien" and he also refers to a genie as an "Earth Arabian" in an earlier log.

He really knows a lot about different human ethnic groups, for some reason.

I think about "you always call jail the slammer when you are extra angry" on a somewhat regular basis.

Sassacre is killed, but since he was a human, his death is inconsequential. Grandpa, a slime homunculus just like Nanna, is given new life, which is a cause for celebration. This whole sequence is quite morbid with Sassacre's bloody corpse just hanging out in the frame.

But wait, if Nanna and Grandpa are adopted siblings, and John and Jade are their "genetic children"... augh, never mind! This is what I mean when I say ectobiology produces all kinds of unfortunate relationships. I don't want to think about any of this pseudo-incest anymore. How are there people who make it their whole online careers to dissect this garbage so they can harass people about this shit? Don't they get tired? It's giving me a headache.

Rose is even referred to as John's "daughter" in the title of this flash. I'm not just blowing smoke when I say that John is everyone dad. That's literally what just happened.

Now that we're finally done with this segment, I'll cap it off with this: Nothing of value was added with the inclusion of ectobiology. I know I've been throwing around the phrase "waste of time" in these posts, but this bit of worldbuilding is unequivocally, without a doubt, the biggest fucking waste of time in this entire comic.

Woof. Shall we move on?

While Davesprite and Terezi sort of reconciled in their conversation and formed a bit of a bond, Dave doesn't receive her nearly as amicably. Why is she doing the "1S TH1S YOU" joke with Dave when that was a bit she did with Davesprite?

Oh right, because she thinks that same relationship will carry over to "real Dave". She sees them as the same person just like everyone else. Lovely.

Dave thinks he can burn Terezi by repeatedly insulting her blindness, even though it's clear that it doesn't bother her at all. This is really weak, especially when compared to his log with Tavros where he forced Tavros to block him.

Terezi seems to have completely given up on John and now wants to be annoying and nasty to Dave instead. She has officially been downgraded from minor antagonist to obnoxious interloper.

Tavros could only ever enjoy himself when he could escape to Prospit, be mobile, and most importantly fly. Nobody ever wants to talk about how Tavros has a lot of avoidance issues, how he always shrinks away from action and confrontation, and how he copes with adversity through escapism (both in a figurative sense through his interest in fantasy, and in a literal sense when he dreams on Prospit). A big part of his character comes from Peter Pan, the archetype of childlike escapism! IDK man, it sucks to see people reduce him to this lovable, pure-hearted woobie while ignoring the key part of his character.

Just like with Davesprite, Terezi just needed to send the right drawing for Dave's opinion of her to flip. Fantastic conflict resolution right there.

[S] Descend is the End of Act flash for Act 4. It might be the most ambitious flash up to this point. Lots of guest artists contributed here, and it's at this point where Homestuck really begins to feel like a much more collaborative project instead of solely Hussie's work. I don't mean to discredit the music team when I say that, because they've been around since the start, but this feels more substantial since Homestuck is a primarily visual work.

Anyway, Bro slices a meteor in half to save Dave's life, and later has his rocket board transport Dave into the game safely. Chalk that up to his list of noble deeds to try and balance out his dastardly ones.

Jack fucks shit up indiscriminately, so why does he spare WV? Feels a little out of character for him.

The brief Jack and Bro fight is pretty sweet. I'm not a shonen guy, but I'm getting that same sort of energy from this. Knowing that Bro probably knew all about the kinds of monsters he'd have to fight in Sburb, he has probably been training for something like this for most of his life. Had Jack not gotten god powers, Bro probably could've wasted him.

I like to think that Rose's merging with her doomed self is what causes her to act so destructive and nihilistic from this point on. She wants to destroy the game that killed her.

So okay... when Dave and Rose gave John their bunnies for his present, both of them clearly put a lot of thought in their gifts. Dave gifted him a piece of merch from his favorite movie. Rose restored an old heirloom using John's previous gift to her. Jade assembled "a fun and completely ridiculous thing" that has no sentimental meaning and only carries a vague sense of importance.

Does she just not know what he likes? This is less a gesture of friendship and more of her blindly fulfilling the whims of Sburb. I really struggle to see how Jade fits in this friend group dynamic. She's like the weird kid that the others let hang around out of pity.

Waow! After all that buildup with the box mystery, the bunny and Jack are going to have a showdown! Finally we can see what all the fuss is about and why this bunny is so important.

... Or Jack can just fly away and they never fight at all. Cool Hussie. It's so cool how you spent several pages devoted to this plot point only to let it fizzle out like this. Incredible writing.

How much time do you think elapsed between Grandpa bringing Dream!Jade's corpse aboard his airship and gutting, cleaning, stuffing, and mounting her? He probably did it all after he flew off, but I like to imagine him doing this all before that while Mom and Dad just stood around awkwardly waiting for him to finish.

Act 4 had its ups and its downs. A lot of downs. The ups also felt a little bittersweet because for every intriguing story hook like the Exile love triangle, Dave's relationship with Tavros, Rose and her mother, or anything involving Davesprite and doomed Rose, they all amount to nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Homestuck truly is a collection of fun ideas all unfortunately cobbled together by someone who doesn't know how to properly execute them in a story. The colorful art and the kickass music can only serve to cover up the flaws so much before the veneer peels and you see the ugly cracks underneath. I wish we lived in a world where Andrew "writing is easy" Hussie had an editor to salvage the good stuff and throw shit like ectobiology into the garbage.

If it sounds like I'm wrapping things up, think again. This journey isn't over yet. It's time for Act 5! People like to joke about how you should skip all the way to that one, but after everything I've read so far... I wouldn't blame anyone if they did.

Read the next post here.

[slimewashingau]

slimewashing incorrect quotes

all from tiktok or incorrect quote generators!

curly: hi! welcome to 7Zee corp! i dont work here..

daissuke: i have several bees in the place youd least expect them.

jimmy: could a slime love a man? anya and bea: .. <:| curly: …should a slime love a man?

curly: i think i have a condition of some kind and i dont know which one-

bea: AND WHO CRASHED THE TULPAR?

…the baby??? (jimmy)

jimmy: your phosphor iss dead. but your honey slime is also dead-

swansea, talking to ogden: the company had to let be go on account of all the product i kept eatin. its hard to work at a mouthwash delivery company ogden: o_O

bea when anya told her what jimmy did: who. him? no. what? GASP. au-

anya: im pregnant. ..with my own baby- (bea: damn 😭.)

bea, pointing at curly: look, a person from earth! .. oh his views are mostly centrist

ogden: my coupon for 7Zee expired… (looking at jimmy) AND SO WILL YOU.

daisuke: the crash was fatal, but we survived.

jimmy: I crashed the tulpar! there was a meteor ahead of us and i got scared! eep!

bea: drowning? more like.. drowning- someone save him! (save daisuke 😭)

bea: Why can’t we all just get along? anya: Because most of us are assholes, bea.

bea: I've been expecting you, anya. anya: How did you do that without turning around? bea: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

when the Squad drops food daisuke: Eh, oh well. swansea: FIVE-SECOND RULE! jimmy: FUCK! curly: just gets more food anya: drops to their knees and mourns the food bea: eats the food off the ground

anya: A mouse! daisuke, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. jimmy, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! bea, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. curly, gasping: It's Ratatouille! swansea: His name is Remi, dummy. anya: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

daisuke: What's worse than a heartbreak? curly: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. anya: Waking up in the morning. swansea: Waking up. bea: Waking up in the morning… bea: And seeing jimmy. jimmy: Hey! Rude!!

jimmy: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? curly: >:O language bea: Yeah watch your fucking language anya: Okay, who taught bea the fuck word?! daisuke: 'The fuck word'. swansea: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time bea: Oh my god they censored it daisuke: Say fuck, swansea. bea: Do it, swansea. Say fuck.

curly: How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you? mochi: With the fan on.

[grapefaygodude69]

watch me become national geographic reporter about sober dude cuz,,, dont have a reason but head canons are fun :o)

other sprites i remade [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

down there's the sprite edits cuz i made these vvv

AUTISTIC YAPPING DONT MIND THATR ... SORY MY ENGLISH IS BAD???

ALSO SH MENTION TW IG \\\\\

the fact that he was sober for example would have been in the past but has never been seen by anyone other than his moirial once but thats a long story,,, how to get him to calm down and get back on the slime is to just pap him until he stops hissing and give it to him and he'll just eventually want to take it again. the thing with karkat is the example of gamzee naturally being an asshole and using his strength against people instead of like in his stoned state barely using it or teasing people by lifting them up,,, my point is karkat almost got choked to death because of gamzee being sober around him, he just attacks anyone around no matter what. the state of being sober for the clown is kind of very overwhelming and gets transelated in violence or whatever something like that for no apparent reason even if its the kind of wholesome thing about him, after that incident with karkat, he got high again it took him like idk maybe 4 months to stop saying sorry for hurting karkat like that because he didn't meant to and its silyyyyyy how he's basically more "sober" (as in more calm) and nice when he's high and more voilent and whatever when he's actually sober.

the other thing is that sopor itself is kind of like alcohol in the sense of how it can effect people differently, gamzee gets high but also very tipsy from it so he needs to sit down most of the time and not move much or he might just break something falling over he isnt much of an active guy but he isnt lazy y'know but being addicted to it gives him extreme withdrawal symptoms which also can be another thing that fuels the violent behavior. but that's all pre sgrub, but post sgrub the meteor shenanigans go on with multiple murders because of the obvious he's pissed and his boyfriend got impaled yadda yadda… gamzee never does recover from the constant need for sopor but learns to put his anger into more productive things that i dont have an idea for but ehhhhuhuhhhhhyh yeahs that's it bye :o)

day 150

[beetleviolet]

So uh... anyone remember this post? About rottmnt Raph and Leo post invasion?

@midwesternvibes i did it.

I didn't go super deep into it because like. What do you even do in that situation lmao. And I'm not sure I did the idea justice. Idk. Might do another draft before I post it on ao3. Super proud of all my metaphors and shit tho.

(Tw: PTSD, panic attacks, crying, negative self talk, suicidal thoughts (kind of?? Blink and you'll miss it. Its a hyperbole anyway but better safe then sorry))

meteor shower (quick, take cover)

The worst part about it was that Raph had seen it coming. 

They were all jumpy. Trigger-sad and still pulling themselves back together. The crashing of pots as they spilled out of the cupboard, and everyone in the kitchen jumped out of their skin. Leo flinched a second time as Raph landed from his (admittedly embarrassing) hop. His little brother's breath hitched and hitched and he ducked his head to the floor, staring staring staring. His cane clattered to the floor. 

“Oh buddy…” Raph dropped his voice soft. Leo's eyes locked onto him. He stumbled, arm reaching blindly behind to find its grip on the counter. He fell, frame shaking. His eyes didn't leave Raph's, Raph's right eye, droning up and down his arm. Hitch, hitch, hitch hitch hitch. 

Raph took a step forward. And Leo-

Leo

Leo raised his arms, taking himself to the floor without the support. He ducked his head, limbs already starting to retreat into his shell. And Leo looked up at him, eyes big and shaking and welled up tears and and and

Beside him, Mikey unfroze, bounding forward before Raph could stop him. 

“Mike, I don't think-” He trailed off as Leo peaked up, reaching for Mikey with unrestrained sobs. He held his little brother close, only looking up to watch Raph. Again, their eyes locked. 

Terror. Panic. Horror. Fear. The hitch hitch hitch when Raph raised a hand. So he stepped back instead. Back and back and back until he was running out of their kitchen, glancing over his shoulder in time to see Leo relax, just a little. Just enough. 

Raph punched his wall. His wall, this time. Not Leo's or Leo or anything else. He breathed, hard eyes roaming and landing on a pile of stuffies by his pillow. 

He'd like to say he did anything else, but Raph fell into bed, held a stuffed cat tight to his chest, and cried. 

The plushie's name was Kitty-Kitty. Once, when they were really little, Leo tore her arm off in a fit of rage and safety scissors. Raph cried and then Leo cried and then Mikey cried, overwhelmed with it all. Leo sewed the arm back on and even added a little heart on her sleeve. The clumsy stitches had long since fallen out, but Raph had sewn them back year after year and kept it and held it close, tight to his chest as he cried like a child. He cried and he cried. It seemed the world was constantly finding new and creative ways to break his heart. (Or maybe not so creative because)

(Well)

(He'd seen it all coming)

Raph let himself drown, let himself toss and turn and wallow in the salty leftovers on his cheeks. Like a beached whale, he let himself wallow, just a bit.

Donnie once said that dead whales could explode. Maybe Raph would explode. He wished he would, just a little, if only so he wouldn't have to get back up and see that look in Leo's eyes ever again. Ever, ever again. 

But he would, wouldn't he? The next panic attack, the next mission gone awry, the next the next the next… It kept going and going. The next… what if Raph got weird again? Leo had always been the best at calming him down, bringing him back. What if Leo couldn't do it? Got too scared, was hurt too bad? Decided that it just. Wasn't worth it. 

Raoh let another wave of tears wash over him. Usually after a good cry he felt cleaned out, hollowed chest and burning nostrils, insides sanded and painted with white wash, fresh and new. Maybe it was just a bad cry, because he still felt all stuffed and overwhelmed and big and heavy and gross, insides all slime and goo and and and

Raph picked up that train of thought, dragged it through his mind palace, and threw it in the moat. 

He took stock. 

Raph was tired. His nostrils burned and any emotion was still a messy, unnamable blarehorn, though his eyes had nothing left to produce but the liquid ache that flowed like a lava lamp behind them. 

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock

That was Leo's knock. Raph tensed. Leo's knock was usually accompanied by a greeting or a yell or the sound of something breaking. It was odd to just…hear the knocks, all hesitant and lonely. 

“You there, big guy?” There it was. Leo's voice was still gravelly from earlier, still a little quiet. Raph's heart clenched. He stacked his courage and spoke,

“Hi.” Wow. Nice one, Raphie. 

“Hey.” Leo was close to the door. Raph could imagine him, shell against the wall, his arms crossed and head tilted back so he could speak without having to face the quiet subway car, a new dent on its side. 

Maybe he had his forehead up against the cold metal of the sliding door, condensation decorating its surface, staring at the floor. Staring, staring, just a little. 

Or maybe he was just standing there like normal. Raph doubted it, somehow. 

“Listen, Raph, I..” His voice broke, a lightning strike down the middle. Lightning actually does hit the same place twice, Raph remembered Donnie explaining, more likely to, even. “I'm so sorry.” 

“‘s not your fault.” His voice was a twin wobble. Leo chuckled, 

“Heh, snot…” Raph felt his mouth twitch up. 

“...do you wanna come in?” He asked, trying to keep his voice from being all nervous and weird. Like Raph was anything but nervous and weird. Super weird. 

Leo didn't answer, but Raph heard the jerk of the handle and the door slid open. And…

Post-panic attack Leo always made Raph want to scoop his brother up in his arms and never let him go. With red eyes, shaky and distant, quiet breaths before a quick deep one, like he suddenly remembered how. Everything about him was… dialed down. Like he was too tired to keep his brightness up all the way. 

It's not that he wanted Leo to pretend he was okay, but reminders that he wasn't hurt too. And Raph couldn't scoop his brother up and never let him go. Besides the obvious impracticality, he would just make everything worse. 

But his palms turned up without him meaning too, and Leo stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around Raph's neck. Not too tight, just there. Secure. Raph's hand hovered over his brother's shell, not daring to brush the cracks, almost trembling at the thought of falling anywhere near Leo's throat. So small. Leo was larger than life, but Raph's little brother was so, so small. 

“This is lame,” Leo whined, “Hug me!” 

“You sure?” He asked. Whispered. Leo grumbled, tucking further into Raph's chest. 

“It was the Krang, not you.” Raph took a breath, a little shudder, 

“Then it was your brain juice, and not you.” Leo didn't answer for one beat, two, three,

“Then hug me, stupid.” 

“Aye, watch it!” But Leo didn't so much as flinch as Raph's arms wrapped around him, held him close. They breathed for a bit. It was the Krang, not you. Not you. Not Raph. 

Raph pressed his head down, tension whirlpooling down the drain. It was a little odd, wasn't it? Because, well,

 He hadn't seen this coming. 

[blockboiscraze]

Foolish Predictions LIST

Built the dragon before they had the dragon eggs

Mentions wanting a dragon mob in game Foolish VOD 22 43:20 (Code uses a dragon to attack Eggs- don’t have timestamp)

Foolish’s first drawing is of him Shooting Marianna (Shoots Slime at the Wedding)

Foolish Says he wants to be president befoer the elections are announced

Foolish predicts that each time they kill the code it becomes stronger

Foolish Saying he wants to go back to Purgatory as a Bunny (New Island is Bunny Themed)

Foolish wants Meteors and Dinosaurs Purgatory has a meteor disaster

New Server Has Dinos that you can take and ride