#merlin had to break all of his promises to arthur

[amariram]

2x06 - 5x13

“It’s too late”

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 , PART 26 (You're here), PART 27

In the throne room.

Gaius: (enters and bows) Sire.

Uther: (At a table, offers him to sit next to him) It have come to my attention your ward is now quite popular above the people.

Gaius: I'm guessing you're referring to The Unicorn Catcher song, Sire?

Uther: (nods and sighs) Did you bring some of your concoction? (rubs his temples)

Gaius: (pulls out a little bottle from his pocket and starts mixing it with the drink Uther has already there) Sire, you don't really believe Merlin crossed pats with a unicorn, right? Because I can assure you-

Uther: Whether it's true or not is not really the problem.

Gaius: ... What?

Uther: If it's a lie, then that boy did a marvelous job to create himself a reputation portraying as a saint. If it's true, then he's been tempting my son with his virginity! I don't know which option is worst to be honest! This seductive demon-! (his eye tics)

Gaius: Drink. (gives him his drink) Just to get this straight, you aren't worry about the unicorn at all then, Sire?

Uther: (drinks it all in one go) Why would I worry about a horse with a horn wandering in the woods when the actual danger is here between the walls of this castle in the body of a peasant boy?! (stands up abruptly and looks at his vase frustrated) This thing isn't strong enough! (throws it away and Gaius flinches when it breaks) I know his kind, he gained my son's favor so when he becomes King he will turn him into his puppet king, or worst, he wants my son to make him regent so he'll have all the power! This boy is going to steal my kingdom!

Gaius: Sire, I promise you, Merlin is not that kind of person.

Uther: Really? Explain to me then why he dared to humiliate my son infront of his Knights? Tell me how that wasn't him showing off how much influence he has over the Prince of Camelot!

Gaius: (sighs, thinking) Of course he learned about that too. (says) Merlin is impertinent, I won't deny that, but he's not ambicious. In fact, if Merlin indeed encountered unicorn, that in itself would be prove of that. These magical creatures don't only feel attracted to the pureness in body, but the pureness in heart too. If Merlin had any malice in his heart it wouldn't have aproached him at all.

Uther: Oh, please! Why else would that boy humiliate himself to accept the affections of a man if not for his lust for power?

Gaius: Didn't it occur to your Majesty that for Merlin that's not an humiliation at all.

Uther: (frowns, confused) What do you mean?

Gaius: Well, Merlin has never showed any interest in girls, Sire. And, his status as prince aside, Arthur is a very handsome and attractive man. He also posseses very good qualities as a person. He's compassionate, brave, just, a very chivalrous man-

Uther: Are you trying to tell me that your ward is actually in love with my son?

Gaius: With all due respect, Sire, is pretty obvious that Arthur's feelings are not one sided. But you've been so absorbed in only thinking the worst of Merlin since he came here that you haven't realise that! I know my ward. He can be too dense and insolent for his own good, yes, but he's not a greedy person, much less a villain whose porpuse is to conquer an entire kingdom. He wouldn't even think of it. Merlin's heart is incapable of any evil.

Guard 1: (enters and bows) Your Majesty, Sir Silfred is here. He says he has important news for you.

Uther: Let him in.

Silfred: (enters and bows) Sire.

Uther: I'm hoping there's been a progress in your investigation.

Silfred: We still couldn't find any traces of Lady Sophia and Lord Aulfric, Sire. Not of them specifically at least. But we did find some dry blood stains deep in the woods.

Uther: They could be of anybody.

Silfred: That's what we thought. But then we found this nearby. (pulls out a purple neckerchief) It has stains of blood too. (gives it to Uther) Does it look familiar to you, Sire?

Gaius: (pales)

Uther: (analysing the fabric, icy calmed) It does... Thank you, Sir Silfred. You're dismissed.

Silfred: (bows and leaves)

Uther: (turns to Gaius) Your boy can be all chaste, Gaius, but he's definitely not pure hearted. He's evil in his very soul! And this is the prove! (throws the neckerchief at Gaius, who catches it in reflex) I knew something was off when Aulfric and Sophia dissapeared so suddenly and now I know why! He murdered them! He knew Sophia would be an obstacle for his plans so he got rid of her!

Gaius: (composes enough and stands up, firmly) I think you're running to conclusions, Sire.

Uther: Don't protect him, Gaius! Or are you going to deny this is his?

Gaius: It looks similar to the ones Merlin uses, yes, but Merlin is not the only person in Camelot that wears neckerchiefs.

Uther: True, but what about a purple one? Only royalty can afford purple fabric and there are only two royals in Camelot. And neither Arthur nor I wear this type of clothing. But we do know who likes to give expensive gifts to a certain servant.

Gaius: Even if it was Merlin's, we can't really be sure the blood is from Sophia and her father. You said it yourself, sire, it could be from anybody.

Uther: You dare to contradict me!

Gaius: All I'm saying is that in a court that wouldn't be enough prove to condem a person.

Uther: (yells) I am the King and therefore the judge and I say this is prove enough!

Gaius: (yells back) And would it be prove enough for Arthur?

Uther: ...

Gaius: (composes himself) I just fear, Sire, that if you condem Merlin based only on this evidence, Arthur won't accept it.

Uther: (sighs) I'm not naive enough to believe that Arthur doesn't know about this.

Gaius: (a bit nervous) What... what do you mean, Sire?

Uther: Sir Silfred is the best at finding traces and yet he could only find this piece of clothing and some blood stains. Even the smartest and strongest men can't hide a body that well in such short amount of time, let alone a skinny peasant boy. There's only one posible explanation.

Gaius: That he didn't do it?

Uther: That he had help! And not from other than my son, nonetheless! If Arthur's already, not only favoring, but covering him, we're doomed! that boy could even murder me and Arthur would let him!

Gaius: (thinking, worried) He's not stupid. It's incredible that he discovered what happened with so little clues, but his level of paranoia is worrying. He's right, but he's SO wrong at the same time. (says in a soothing voice) Merlin is no murderer, Sire. But even if he was, Arthur would never allow something like that, no matter how much he loves Merlin. You're not only his king, you're his father.

Uther: (grunts)

Gaius: But if you are so worried about my ward, Sire, why don't you talk to him?

Uther: (in disbelief) Talk?

Gaius: If you could take the opportunity to properly talk to him, maybe you'd realize he is not the person you believe him to be, Sire. Now you have this bad image of Merlin, but you haven't actually bother to know him.

Uther: Of course I haven't bother. He's a servant.

Gaius: But you fear the influence of said servant, Sire.

Uther: ...

Gaius: It's just a suggestion, Sire.

Uther: (sighs) Fine. (calls out) Guards!

Guards: (enter)

Uther: Bring the Prince's manservant here inmediatly.

Guards: Yes, Sire. (bow and leave)

Gaius: You could have sent me for him.

Uther: So you warn him in advance? No, I want to see his genuine reaction when a question him about this. (takes the neckerchief from Gaius' hands)

Gaius: Wait...you're going to interrogate him, Sire? 😨. That's not what I meant with "talking"!

Uther: I'm giving him a chance to defend himself, so be grateful.

Gaius: Of course I am, Sire. (thinking) Gods help me! Merlin please deny that neckerchief is yours!

Short time skip.

Merlin: (enters, confused but chill) Did you call for me, Sire?

Uther: You're talking to your King.

Merlin: I know.

Uther: Then why aren't you bowing?

Merlin: Oh, sorry. (bows quickly) Did you call for me, Sire?

Gaius: (facepalms internally)

Uther: I did call you. I have a very important matter to discuss with you.

Merlin: (more confused) Me?

Uther: (turns to Gaius) You are dismissed.

Gaius: (pleades) Sire-

Uther: Do as I say.

Gaius: (sighs) Yes, Sire. (bows and leaves)

Merlin: (starts worrying) What's... going on?

Uther: (about to pull out the neckerchief to start the interrogation) You-

Arthur: (enters and smiles politely) Sorry I'm late. What's the matter at hand?

Uther: I didn't call for you.

Arthur: But you call for Merlin and anything that concerns my manservant concerns me.

Merlin: (hisses) Arthur!

Arthur: (ignores him, but walks a few steps forward to be infront of Merlin) So, what is it that you want to discuss with my manservant so urgently, father? (keeps talking and smiling politely, but somehow he also sounds threatening)

Uther: (thinking) This won't work if Arthur is here. The boy will be confident he'll come to his aid. (says) I was just wondering if you knew anything about this song that's beeen circulating around lately.

Merlin: (nervous and blushing) You mean the Unicorn Catcher song, Sire?

Arthur: You called my manservant here just because of a tavern song? You must know that story is nothing but the product of some minstrel's imagination.

Uther: I'm very aware of that, Arthur. But that song is tainting your reputation.

Merlin: (sighs in relief, though still confused) But the song hardly mentions Arthur.

Uther: It mentions him enough. Now it's a song and then, last I thing I know, everyone in Camelot is saying that The Prince only takes young virgin boys to bed.

Merlin: (blushes more furiously, feeling humiliated)

Arthur: (notices and swallows his anger for the hiding insult to Merlin in Uther's words)

Uther: (to Merlin, aproaching) So, if you had anything to do with that song...

Arthur: (puts himself between Merlin and his father) It was Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence who spreaded the rumor, father. Merlin had nothing to do with that. I already got them arrested for talking nonsense while drunk and causing all this mess, so you don't have to worry.

Uther: I did hear they were arrested. (sighs) That's all I wanted to know. You're dismissed.

Arthur and Merlin: (bow and leave)

Uther: (thinking) I need to find I way to get that boy alone, but how?

Time skip. Merlin, Gaius and Lancelot in Gaius' Tower.

Merlin: He found what?! 😨

Gaius: Your neckerchief, Merlin. And with stains of blood. So it doesn't look good.

Merlin: But that's impossible! Lancelot burned all the clothes!

Lancelot: I thought I did. But it was dark, maybe it fell while I was carrying the pile. (very guilty) I'm so sorry Merlin, I should've been more careful.

Merlin: Don't be. You saved Arthur's life and we didn't have much time.

Gaius: Uther won't arrest you, I convinced him to give you a chance to defend yourself. So when he calls for you again you just have to deny that neckerchief is yours and show him you are not the villain he built in his head.

Merlin: I need to tell Arthur. (makes a move to leave)

Gaius: (stops him) No! Uther wants to interrogate you alone, if you tell him he will sneak in again.

Merlin: I'll tell him not to go.

Lancelot: And you think he'll listen?

Merlin: I don't know. But he was involved in this too and I won't lie to him more than I need to. (leaves)

Gaius: Wait, Merlin! There's something else I need to tell you. Merlin! (makes a move to go after him)

Lancelot: (stops him) Tell me and I'll give him the message. I'll get to him faster.

Meanwhile, in Morgana's chambers. Arthur and Morgana having some kind of tea party, while Gwen braids Morgana's hair.

Morgana: (laughing) You men are so inmature.

Arthur: I was not inmature. He hit me first, I just defended myself.

Mogana: And then you fighted over who was Merlin's best friend. Yeah, very mature.

Gwen: I thought I was Merlin's best friend (pouts)

Morgana: You are his best GIRL friend.

Gwen: (mocking) So that means you are not his best girl friend?

Morgana: (plays along) How dare you! I'll fight you! (makes silly fighting movements)

Arthur: (complains) Stop it! (but can't help but laugh)

Merlin: (enters sudenly)

Morgana: Merlin! Knock first! I could be changing my clothes.

Arthur: Now you know what I have to endure everyday (looks at Merlin expression and frowns, worried) Merlin, what is it? (stands up and goes to him) Did something happen?

Merlin: Arthur-

Guard 1: (interrupts) Sire, The King wants you to interrogate a sorcerer in the dungeons.

Morgana: (feels mad and sad for what's probably going to be another unfair execution, but doesn't say anything)

Arthur: (notices) Lets discuss this outside.

Merlin, Arthur and Guards: (Get out of Morgana's chambers)

Arthur: (closes the door behind him) Can't it wait?

Guard 2: I fear not. It's a very dangerous sorcerer, we had to put him in cold iron, so the King wants to execute him as soon as possible. But he also wants to get as much information he can from him. Apparently he was the leader of a group of renegate soreceres.

Arthur: I understand. (to Merlin) We'll talk later. (makes a move to leave)

Merlin: (makes a move to go with him)

Arthur: (stops him) Merlin, no. Stay. I have to do this alone. (thinking) I don't want you to see that, nor do I want to put you in danger.

Merlin: You can't stop me. (thinking) Like I'm going to let you alone with a dangerous sorcerer!

Arthur: (sighs) Merlin-

Lancelot: (arrives running) Merlin! (takes a breath) By the Gods, you run fast. (bows to Arthur) Sire, I'm sorry, but Gaius needs Merlin urgently.

Arthur: (releaved) It's alright, Lancelot. I have urgents matters to attend too. (follows the guards and leaves)

Merlin: (about to leave but Lancelot stops him) Let go of me! 😡 Arthur is about to interrogate a dangerous sorcerer I need to be there! Whatever urgency Gaius has can wait!

Lancelot: There's no dangerous sorcerer.

Merlin: (stops struggling) ...What?

Lancelot: There is no dangerous sorcerer and there is no urgency. That's what Gaius wanted to explain to you. Is part of the plan.

Merlin: The plan? What plan?

In the dungeons. Arthurs goes with the guards to a cell, but finds it empty.

Arthur: Where's the prisoner?

Guards: Here. (push Arthur inside quickly and close the cell)

Arthur: (stands up, furious) What do you think you are doing?! 😡

Guard 1: (very apologetically) Forgive us, Sire. It was King's orders.

Arthur: Why did my father order you to lock me up in the dungeons?! I'm not strange to this punishment, but normally I know WHY I'm being punished.

Guard 1: This is no punishment, Sire. Your Majesty just doesn't want you to interfere in... some matters.

Guard 2: It will be just for a couple of hours, Sire. You don't have to worry.

Arthur: Interfere? Why would I... (pales and shouts) Merlin!

Meanwhile in the throne room.

Uther: Has the prince been brought to the dungeons.

Guard 3: Yes, Sire.

Uther: Perfect. Now bring the boy.

...

Finally we get back to the request list!

Arthur has to protect Merlin from his dad ☑︎

An he will continue to do it for the next parts because this shit is far from over!

What do you think is going to happen?

What was the hiding insult in Uther's words the Arthur catched?

Also, credits to my best friend Rosangela, who helped me with some dialogues and situations, no only in this part, but several ones. Love you so much! ❤️

[justaz]

post magic reveal, post magic ban lifted, arthur gets to see merlin in all his glory and somehow falls deeper in love with him than he ever thought possible. merlin who is free and accepted and loved and ecstatic by it all, but there's that thought lingering in the back of his mind that only half of their destiny has been fulfilled. magic has returned to camelot but albion is still fractured in many different kingdoms, many of which are still holding onto the hate that uther spread which is seeping into the very fabric of the earth itself. druids and magic users and even magic creatures are still persecuted all across the realm and yeah camelot opened her arms to them but not everyone trusts it (justifiably).

arthur who is choking on the sheer amount of love he has for merlin and promising himself that he'll tell merlin, he'll confess, even if he feelings aren't reciprocated. merlin will know. merlin who has been chewing on an idea for some time now and is planning on bringing it up to arthur. its night as merlin is dressing arthur for bed and they're both quiet and tense. they break at the same time and end up speaking over one another. arthur allows merlin to go first since his nerves are eating away at him. then merlin speaks of leaving.

arthur feels his nerves rot and decay and fall into a bottomless pit. merlin is rambling about how every magical being in albion is still being targeting by various kingdoms and as the prophesied emrys, magic incarnate, druid king, should he not be doing more to help? he doesn't want to leave arthur's side, but he does want to help his people. he's seen only a fraction of the atrocities committed against them and he wishes to protect them, give them somewhere completely safe, a kingdom of magic so to speak. he promises that he'll only be gone for as long as it takes to establish a kingdom (a year? two? three?) but he promises to write and visit often...as long as arthur gives him permission and allows him to leave his service for the time being.

arthur of course agrees, half unhappy about it but completely understanding. surely, out of everyone, he is the one who can understand the weight of responsibility weighing on merlin's shoulders. he mentions that merlin will need someone with experience wearing the crown to guide him. plus, balance. merlin was always there for arthur, guiding him on how to be a better man, a great king, someone worthy of the praise he constantly spewed. it's only right that arthur gets to return that by helping merlin establish a safe haven and home for his people. and politically, camelot being the first kingdom to recognize merlin's and establish some trade agreement or treaty with them will strengthen merlin's kingdom's status and send a message that camelot stands with magic.

merlin smiles wide and asks what arthur was going to say. the king hesitates before biting his tongue and requesting that merlin bring up the honey cakes that had been prepared earlier that night. two of them. since merlin was no longer in his service, he didn't have to stand by and watch arthur eat - not that he ever did, the idiot loved to steal his food. shamelessly!! he never even tried to hide it. they both sat at the table in his chambers until late in the night, nibbling away at the sweets, chasing it down with wine, and chatting away.

arthur wasn't able to confess, but it did not change his feelings. if anything, merlin's heart and the decision he made only added fuel to the raging inferno of love and devotion within arthur. he knows that merlin will keep in contact and will return to his side one day. he gets through the tough days/nights by rereading merlin's letters and imagining seeing him again in royal garb and donning a crown.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

I had a Good!Morgana/magic reveal idea. What if Arthur found out about Morgana’s magic? And decided to be rational and smart about it?

When the window breaks, he realises that only Morgana was anywhere near. It’s just a random thought, but then he remembers all the times her nightmares come true or that she warned him about something and he listened only for her to be right.

Then he overhears Gaius talking to someone and saying that Morgana is too close to Uther and that it’d be better if she never knew about her magic. (even though she’s loosing control and clearly terrified and in need of help, he’s furious about that because magic or no, she’s still Morgana.) Arthur storms off, not bothering to find out who Gaius was talking to because he’s just been hit by the reality that magic isn’t a choice therefore he might have to reevaluate his whole belief system because he doesn’t want to think people can be born evil.

Of course he isn’t happy about it, but Morgana is too good and she never would’ve chosen magic, she was too smart for that in Camelot and too afraid for it to be deliberate. For whatever reason, Gaius was keeping Morgana’s magic secret even from her, so he didn’t want to go to the physician. So he goes to Geoffrey, knowing that like Gaius, he knows about life before the purge.

The librarian apparently hid a bunch of illegal books? So Arthur gets reading and learns about magic, about those born with it, about those who use it for good, that magic could be like a sword to attack or defend. Then he learns that’s wrong, a stab wound is still a stab wound but if he wants to believe magic can be truly good then there has to be more to it than a weapon. He realises there’s no inherent morality in magic, just intent from the person using it and impact of those around. He starts looking at how useful magic can be, how it can heal, you get the idea.

Uther finds out somehow and summons Arthur, Morgana and the council to the throne room so he can sentence Morgana to death. No one knows how to react, but Arthur steps forward, gently pushes Morgana behind him, sending Merlin a look that says to keep her safe. Merlin nods and Morgana is trembling while he reassures her that she’s safe. He promises that no harm will come and that he’ll break her out of the citadel if he has to.

Arthur yells at Uther and eventually throws a gauntlet down, saying he’s challenging for the throne on account of madness. He basically paints Uther to be mentally unstable and therefore unfit to rule. They fight there, and like the scene where Arthur finds out about his mother, Uther is pinned to the throne when Merlin stops Arthur from killing Uther, (there’s significance to that, it wouldn’t bring Arthur peace. But Morgana ordering his execution? That helps her get closure.)

Anyway, Merlin takes the sword and holds it to Uther’s chest for Arthur, whispering something about “Morgana needs him now more than ever.” So Arthur takes Uther’s crown and orders Leon to take him to his chambers and not to let him leave. He then turns to Morgana, sees her trembling and holds out a hand to her. She looks at him suspiciously, so he sighs and tell her they’ll talk about repealing the ban once he’s figured out what to do with Uther.

Morgana frowns, so Arthur says something like “As far as I’m concerned, Camelot is your home. You’re my sister in all but blood, and I’m not going to watch you die for something you had no choice in. We’ll find you a tutor, someone to teach you control so your nightmares don’t bother you so much, and if you want it you’ll have a place on my council. As court sorceress or advisor or whatever you want.”

Then Morgana hugs him, crying and thanking him for everything. Merlin is looking proud but regretfully so because of the situation. Arthur has him clear the hallways so he can lead Morgana back to her chambers where she’ll be safe and where she won’t have to worry about anyone seeing her cry because Arthur knows she’s never really cried in front of anyone but Gwen, only ever fake tears to manipulate men in court to her favour.

They’ve got technicalities to sort out and whatever else but they work it out and basically everything ends up happily ever after.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

More stuff about my Merlin soulmate au:

Something I think I forgot to mention last time is that soulmates take comfort in the presence and physical contact of each other, feeling safe and content with them by their side.

The other kingdoms view Uther's policies on soulmates to be barbaric and cruel, and is a contributing factor to the tension and conflicts Camelot faces with the surrounding kingdoms.

Morgana still goes evil in this one lads, but with an important change of her anger being exclusively directed at Uther, Arthur, and Merlin. Gwen is her soulmate and she loves her, she wants Gwen at HER side. Her rage at getting a vision of Gwen becoming queen isn't because she is queen, but because she's ARTHURS queen (I do want to clarify that Gwen and Morgana's relationship in this au is platonic, but it only makes sense for Morgana to want one of her soulmates to rule beside her, and her other soulmates are her sister and a child)

So all the attempts on Gwen's life are gone (though both the shade plot and the dark tower might still be in play, but with the intention to get Gwen back all to herself, not to harm her)

(Merlin does not know Morgana is one of Gwen's other soulmates until after he poisoned her and Gwen let's slipped that she's really worried about Morgana, but at least she knows she's alive.)

(Gwen being Morgana's soulmate is a treasure trove of angst that I do plan on exploring fully)

The Coming of Arthur is going to be fun in regards to Morgana and Gwen (and Leon)

Morgana promising Gwen that no harm will come to her, not with her by her side.

"I know it's not fair of me to make you choose between soulmates, but Gwen, I can bring peace back to Camelot. Magic can be free again, soulmates cherished as they are supposed to be. Please, join me."

But the thing is, Morgana isn't just asking Gwen to choose between two halves of her soul. She knows both Leon and Merlin would never forsake Arthur, and if she chose Morgana, she would also lose both of them, not just Arthur. It's an unfair position to be in, an impossible situation (she chooses anyway. The Morgana she knew never would have ordered the death of innocent civilians to punish those who would not obey her. Something happened to the girl she loves, shes having trouble recognizing the holder of a piece of her soul)

(Gwen still goes to the dungeon to bring Leon food, though it goes a little differently, with Leon learning that Morgana is her soulmate. More on that in another post)

Arthur is going to repeal the laws against soulmates and magic as soon as he becomes king (he has been aware of Merlin’s status as a sorcerer for years and is unable to see how magic can be evil and corrupting when Merlin is one of the best people he knows and his soulmate to boot)

Due to most of them growing up under laws that prohibit talking about soulmates, it takes everybody far too fucking long to realize that they are all soulmates with each other cause no one says anything or compares notes.

I know its mean, but they finally figure it all out following Lancelot's death

(I have tried to figure out a way for him to survive but I really don't think he can)

(Poor Gwen all alone in Camelot breaking down while helping care for people because she feels Lancelot *die* with only Gaius to help her. No other soulmates available to hold her and help her feel a little less empty, a little less alone.)

Everyone experiencing the same pain and all knowing they just lost Lancelot leads to conversation.

Because while everyone in the group had been bonded with Lancelot, not everyone is bound together, which is totally possible, but Arthur knows he's soul bound to half this group, it would make sense to check if there's others in the group.

I will make a separate post about the events of the darkest hour cause I think this would get very long if I had it in here

Now, something I haven't gotten into yet is the magic part of soulmates (so far it's mainly been the destiny and social ramifications and interpersonal details)

Soulmarks are magic, and in some cases, an individual can develop a soulmate ability, a single ability that can be used in regards to exclusively one's bonded soulmates

Now these abilities vary in strength and specificity, some are dictated by touch, others apply no matter where they are in the world

Some soulmate abilities I've come up with thus far are:

The ability to always know what direction their soulmate is in relation to themself

The ability to know when their soulmate is lying to them, and a more broad varient of always knowing when they are lying period

The ability to always instinctually know what it is their soulmate truly means when they speak (I'm very tempted to give this to Gwen because I think it would make things interesting with Morgana, but I am worried it might break things a bit)

The ability to know what their soulmate is feeling emotionally by looking at them or touching them (I think I'm going to give this one to Leon?)

An ability confined to touch that brings to the soulmate's attention what their body most needs at that moment. (It's requires intent to be put into use, and it doesn't necessarily make the soulmate do that thing? It's not compulsory. It's more "Hey you're fucking exhausted you need sleep," or "Crying sounds so nice right now," or "Dude, EAT," and they can still fight these things, if they choose to, but those things are now at the forefront of their attention (making them more likely to be heeded))

Now, an ability I've thought EXTENSIVELY about:

A very rare and (before Uther nuked everything having to do with magic and soulmates) coveted ability that allows someone to, through constant touch, share their life force with their dying soulmate in order to keep then alive.

So say, for example, somebody (Soulmate A) is actively bleeding out from a fatal wound. The soulmate with the ability (Soulmate B) would have to touch soulmate A, skin to skin contact, and have this desperation, determination that soulmate A will not die, they won't let them.

Now, a couple things would happen.

One: Soulmate B's soulmark on Soulmate A's skin would move in some way to the point of injury (the method may vary depending on what their mark looks like. Like if the mark was a flower, the stem may extend and the mark itself stays stationary, or if it's something that's alive it would just fully move) and start "healing" the wound

Healing being in quotes because

Two: The injury is really being transferred partially to Soulmate B, enough so that the injury to Soulmate A is no longer immediately fatal, for the duration that they keep contact with Soulmate A. This buys Soulmate A time to be healed properly, but if the underlying injury is not healed in a timely manner, both Soulmate A and B could die.

Healing Soulmate A would also heal Soulmate B, as it was never truly their injury (though it sure feels and acts like it, and can be just as deadly if help isn't gotten in time.)

Because this ability is so inherently magic and is considered a spell, Soulmate B, even if they have the capacity to use other magic, can not cast a healing spell while using this spell, as it's only possible to cast one spell at a time.

I am naturally giving this ability to Merlin.

But the thing about abilities like this one is that it's impossible to know if you have it or not until the situation calls for it for the first time. It's impossible to know until your soulmate is dying right in front of you. Until you reach out and wish with every fiber in your being that they survive and they DO

The other thing about this ability? It can only be used once per soulmate. One get out of death free card and that's it

I haven't fully figured out if the dark tower would still happen, but if it does, Merlin would discover this ability saving Elyan's life (with the help of the knights who have to on the fly learn healing magic or else lose *both* of them)

That's going to be it for this post as it's starting to get long, but I have other posts I'm already working on. Also, if anyone has any questions, ideas, or suggestions in regards to this au, please feel free to send them my way!

[futurepastme]

The King's War - A promise made in blood

(Pt.1)

The day Merlin became Emrys (Cannon divergence AU)

He knocked.

He stared at the door waiting for an answer that never came, then pushed the door open and entered.

Merlin is Arthur's servant, which means that he got the privilege of cleaning his clothes and polishing his armour, as well as bathing the prince. He had seen the state his garments got after tournaments, after returning from long journeys where they both fought monsters and creatures, and Merlin has seen the state they got after bandit attacks. He has mended and cleaned and washed every piece of it. Tear, dents, mud, dirt and blood. Merlin had seen and fixed it all.

Or so he thought.

Arthur sat in front of the fireplace, drink in hand and eyes locked at the flames that were the only source of light in the whole room. They danced on his face, bringing an eerie shine to the blood that completely covered the prince.

Merlin felt sick again, the room reeked of blood and Arthur was the main source of it. From head to toe, Arthur's hair, clothes, gloves, boots, they were all bloody. The armour was carelessly scattered around the room as if they had been thrown, even his sword ended up under the table. Merlin didn't want to look closer, he knew they would be bloody too.

Merlin fought against his feelings and slowly made his way to where Arthur was.

"Perhaps a bath should be in order, My Lord." Merlin asked with a low, hoarse voice.

He didn't get much of an answer from that, Arthur made a slight movement with his head that could pass for half a nod and Merlin decided to consider that a yes. He turned around and started to work in autopilot, he brought in the tube, filled it with water and half kicked the armour bits that entered his way into a wannabe pile.

He didn't breathe, he didn't think, he didn't feel and most important of all: he didn't look, focusing entirely on the normal and mundane task of preparing the bath. He felt more than saw Arthur walking around getting rid of his clothes, clothes that Merlin would have to deal with later. That's what his goal was right now, deal with it later.

Arthur dipped inside the tube still holding his glass and Merlin knelt down next to him, he reached for Arthur to start cleaning him but when his hand finally touched the Prince's blood-stained skin he felt the walls he had so carefully built around his senses crumble down.

He could feel it all. Fear, despair, sadness, anger, he could hear the screams and feel them running away, and he could also feel the heat that came from the flames. Merlin's eyes filled with tears and he felt his breath get caught in his throat, then he pushed all aside and started scrubbing. He wouldn't break down.

He scrubbed Arthur's arms and legs, he washed his face and his hair and most of all he cleaned his hands. His Arthur, his Prince, his golden King that carried sunlight in his smile and kindness in his heart; he wanted to hug him, he wanted to scream at him, he wanted to hate him. Instead, he scrubbed and cleaned.

He was not rough, no, he would never hurt Arthur. His hands were gentle while washing him, slowly going through every inch of his uninjured body like he was a poet writing sonnets on Arthur's skin, as if his fingers alone could cleanse him of every evil, like he was a god granting forgiveness for a sinner.

They kept at it for a while, Arthur drinking from his glass with his gaze stuck somewhere far away, the water running redder as it dripped down from Arthur's body, and Merlin scrubbing so gently at the Prince's skin that it could almost be compared to a lover's caress.

When he was done, he dressed Arthur, refilled his glass one more time before putting the bottle away, placed the emergency sleeping draught on Arthur's bedside table, and started collecting both the clothes and the armour from the floor. Every new piece he picked up sent a chill up his arm and down his spine, he tried his best to block it all off.

When he finished, he looked back at Arthur one more time — he sat at the edge of the bed, glass half full on one hand and eyes back on the flames — before heading to the door.

"Try to get some sleep," he whispered and let the door close behind him.

Merlin didn't make it very far, but he did managed to reach a window before throwing up.

Thick tears went down his face and he let his body slide down the wall, he let his barriers collapse and every feeling he had suppressed so far came down on him like a raging sea. He tucked his knees against his body, held his hair tightly pulling at it in despair, and right there in a hallway between Arthur's chamber and Gaius' tower, sitting in a pile of bloody clothes and armour, Merlin broke down.

He was shaking, his body heaved with his crying and he wanted desperately to make it stop, please, God, make it stop. He felt their despair and heard their cries, breathed their last breath with them, felt the stab of swords against his back when he ran with them and cried their lost upon their now rotting corpses along with the earth. Merlin's mouth opened in a quiet scream, his magic wanting to flare up, to protect him, protect them, to do something, anything.

He heard them calling for him, begging for help — please, Emrys, please help us, have mercy, — and where was he? Where was Emrys when his kind, his people, were being murder in cold blood? Stuck in a stupid island trying to go back to Arthur. How many had died that he could have saved if only he had been here to help? How many of them died by Arthur's hand?

It was too much pain, too much suffering, Merlin wanted it to stop, please stop — help us, Emrys — stop it, gods why?

Merlin sat in his bubble of pain and suffering, being consumed by the pleas and the tragedy of his people in a way he didn't think it was possible, he never felt anything that could ever come close to that.

Slowly he felt them quiet down enough for him to be able to acknowledge his own feelings of shame and guilt, his people were promised a saviour that would help bring forth a golden age where they could once again be free. He asked again, where was that saviour when they needed him?

The pain was still latent — he had a feeling it wouldn't leave anytime soon — but he managed to let go of his hair, hugging his legs instead, letting his head rest against the cool stone beneath the window. He gazed at the moonbeams for a while before closing his eyes and let more tears fall. He felt his people's blood underneath him soaking Arthur's clothes, felt the pain coming from it.

He made a promise right there, nothing ritualistic or extremely deep and noble, nothing people would write about one day, no. It was just a thought, a promise to himself and to his people in the simplest form a promise could be. A simple thought while he still felt their pain and the tears still streamed down his face.

Uther wouldn't win. Merlin would make sure of it, no matter how many hunt parties he sent, King Uther would never be able to get rid of magic. Merlin would not sit back and watch as his people, his kind, were persecuted and murdered in cold blood. He would do something, he would help them.

Uther Pendragon would have to pry the golden age of Albion from his cold dead hands.

[messandahalf10]

February

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 10675

Summary:

Arthur had been back for about six months. Merlin still finds it hard to believe that it was already half a year ago that the man had crawled out of the lake, soaking wet and disoriented and confused. It had been… a challenge at first, to say the least. Arthur had struggled to come to terms with his new reality, making his behaviour and his moods erratic. When he became overwhelmed, he would lash out. And Merlin, being the only person in the world he knew, took the brunt of it. He did so willingly. If it meant having Arthur back, if it meant he was no longer alone, he was willing to do anything.

OR

One month in the life of Merlin and newly returned Arthur Pendragon.

Excerpt:

It’s just about a half hour later that Arthur comes into view again. He looks decidedly unhappy, a gauze bandage wrapped around his head securely. Merlin feels sick again just looking at it, even though he knows that Arthur is fine. The same nurse from before greets Merlin as he stands and rushes to meet them halfway.

“Your friend is all patched up. The bandage can stay on until tonight and can be taken off then. It’s mostly a formality, really. He needs to take it easy when washing his hair to prevent pulling the stitches out, and we recommend lots of rest. A blow to the head is no light issue. He did not get a concussion at all, but it’s still best to take it easy for the next couple of days.” She tells Merlin. Merlin can see Arthur roll his eyes, irritation written all over his features. Merlin ignores him.

“Okay. Thank you.” Merlin replies.

“You’re welcome.” She replies. She hands an envelope over to Merlin. “Here are some basic aftercare instructions. Have a good rest of your day, gentlemen.”

With that, she turns and strides away. Merlin watches her go for a moment before turning to Arthur. The blond opens his mouth, but Merlin just holds up a hand, prematurely silencing him. Arthur wisely snaps his mouth closed, falling into step beside the brunet as Merlin leads them back to the entrance and out into the frigid winter temperatures beyond the doors again. Merlin doesn't speak until they are in the car and it has coughed to life again.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Arthur.” His voice is quiet but firm. He stares out the windshield, refusing to look over at Arthur again just yet. Now that the adrenaline has worn off for him as well, the guilt has settled in, the anger at himself for not protecting Arthur well enough, both today and back then, has settled in. It is hot and heavy and insistent in his gut.

‘I love you.’ He wants to say again, bites the words back and swallows them down for what feels like the thousandth time since Arthur came back. ‘I love you, and I can’t lose you again. It would break me.’

Very softly, Arthur replies, “I promise to be more careful in the future, Merlin.”

Merlin nods resolutely once, then he is shifting his car into reverse and backing out of his parking space. The drive back home is silent and Merlin’s knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel tightly all the way home.

[centurieslove]

Arthur barely spoke, which was thankful enough. Merlin didn’t think he could dredge it all up again, lie again, not this early in the morning. He let himself be carried back as his eyes glassed over, reeling silently as he swayed in his saddle. At first, he couldn’t hear Arthur’s voice saying the words, in his mind’s eye - but if he really focused, if he shuttered his surroundings away, he could just see it: the three hooded figures, Arthur in the misted cave, a promise. Each time the image materialised, it brought a sheer warmth that would start to weave itself along his arms, tingling into his veins- only inevitably to fall into his stomach and settle there, heavy and sick. His palms itched with sweat, the leather reins digging into his palms as he attempted to curb the urge to turn his horse around. The inside of his mouth ached where it had been bitten raw.

All too soon, the creamy faraway turrets of Camelot swayed into view above the treetops - and upon spotting them a violent clench of panic dropped onto Merlin’s chest. He kicked his heels quickly, gathering speed and rode up alongside Arthur. The king’s gaze remained on their path ahead.

"Arthur." Merlin started, firmly.

"Merlin.” Arthur returned, just as firmly.

Merlin kicked his horse a little more, definitely not pretending it was a certain blond king.

"Arthur," Merlin grit through his teeth. "Are you sure?"

Arthur’s sigh was just audible over the rough pad of the horses’ hooves on the forest floor.

"Are you telling me you'd rather see a friend die," the King replied, monotone, solemn.

A friend? Merlin had forgotten-

In a other life, maybe.

"No, but-"

"But what, Merlin. For god's sake." Arthur finally turned to look at him.

Excuses were drying quickly on Merlin's tongue. He dropped his gaze to where Arthur’s hands seemed to be holding back the temptation to rip the reins in two. Merlin held back the temptation to shake the king until he fell off his horse.

With an unsteady voice, he tried to push Arthur, asking, you’ll repeal the laws, then? Let magic return to Camelot? What did he want to hear?

"...is that what you really want?" Merlin said, then winced. The pathetic, pleading tone in his words; hopefully it wasn’t discernible. Arthur didn't respond.

A faint murmur of crowd rose from over the castle walls that swayed ever closer. He pushed again, throwing increasingly agitated comments across the space between them, like, how will the people react?, and- you can’t expect them to welcome back magic overnight, and after a while, it’ll be dangerous- you, you have to con-

“I know!” Arthur yelled, suddenly glowing with rage. “You think you know how to run a kingdom?"

Merlin held firm, his eyes burning.

"That’s not what I meant.”

Arthur’s gaze was just as solid, blue meeting blue. The crowd’s murmuring roar was cresting over the walls.

“Don’t let me stop you, Merlin.”

Fury buzzed in head. “You,” he started, “could have at least-”

“What.” Arthur snapped. “Spit it out, christ, it’s like talking to-”

“Don’t cut me off then!”

“You’re- you…”

“What. What! What am I?”

Arthur spluttered, “Impossible. I swear to gods…”

Merlin’s chest heaved. He glanced between the approaching gate and the king next to him. Camelot was breaking into view on their direct path now, forest peeling away into vast yellow fields. Merlin bit his lip.

All of my father’s work -

“Why did you change your mind?” he said finally.

Arthur just stared. A small line was creasing between his brows, and when he spoke, it was after a long moment of his blue eyes bearing into Merlin’s, and his voice was calmer, quieter.

Maybe the old ways -

“Who says I’d changed it?” the king said.

Merlin huffed and turned away.

[sneakyboymerlin]

I have one silly goofy rule: if you vague me, I won’t always be as transparent in return… especially when you call me a bitch. I also enjoy literary and media analysis as a hobby (there’s a reason it’s my best subject lol), so I don’t exactly mind a chance to talk on it.

Gwen’s boobs visible below the cut.

Breaking: Tumblr user “Arthur The People’s Princess,” who calls Arthur a “tsundere,”’calls ME a bitch and accuses ppl who think Merlin is not a villain of “babygirlifying” him 😭😭😭 very “do as I say, not as I do.” liiiike at LEAST say it on anon 💀💀💀

But this is even funnier because… the show’s main tactic to make Arthur appear superior was by only ever contrasting him to people far worse than he is (e.g. Uther or the villagers in 5x03). But they had a second tactic, where they would “make a character ooc so their fave would seem better.” For example, the 4x03 deleted scene btwn him and Gwen (thank god they deleted it), the format and characterization in 5x01-5x03, etc. It is quite clear that they set up conversations to tell-don’t-show how grand Arthur is, even though he is surrounded by people who have the exact same standards and more. He is coddled by the narrative as a form of overcompensation for his flaws and dormant character progression. This is also influenced by his status as a rich nobleman (prince, then king) wherein a servant like Gwen believing that commoners are just as worthy as nobles means nothing, yet a king believing in this somehow makes him uniquely worthy. Credit and reward is unevenly distributed.

This “babygirlifying” of Arthur (calling him a tsundere and princess) is a pretty obvious attempt to dismiss his serious faults (the bigotry that leads him to act tyrannical towards magical peoples, continuing his father’s genocidal legacy). Because white cishet women are typically viewed as weak and harmless, comparing or associating a character with “womanly” traits/tropes can be used to give the impression of harmlessness or innocence. This is, of course, misogynistic, among other uses.

The slight against Gwaine is also very interesting, because it tends to be the type of merthur shipper that the op is, not the people who pay attention to Gwaine, who reduce him down to “clown manwhore.” But more on that later.

The show is centered on Arthur’s need to progress from a stuck-up bigot into the king who will fulfill the prophecies, bringing peace back to the five kingdoms and returning magic to the land… so why is it so difficult to understand why people might pay attention to Arthur fulfillment of (or lack thereof) the story’s structural promise? Other people possessing flaws does not negate Arthur’s flaws, which had a wide impact due to his excess of power, wealth, and reputation.

Gwaine being tentative towards magic, Morgana indulging in tyranny, and Merlin’s questionable navigation of prophecy do not in any way rescind Arthur’s central flaws. He is the one who continued to ban magic, despite Gaius making Dragoon’s innocence clear in 4x07, despite accepting the Dolma’s aid in 5x09, despite the unicorn incident in 1x11, right after a sorcerer saved his life in 1x10. And still, after a sorcerer saved his life in 1x04. After he recognized how many Druids had been slaughtered for their association with magic. These are events he knew about but chose to ignore to stay in his comfort zone (idolizing Uther and justifying his own privileges).

Also, the fact that op can only approach this topic through a merthur lens (the comments about Arthur and Gwaine both imply merthur) is more telling than any analysis I could write. Merlin and Gwaine do not exist only in relation to Arthur. We’re not the ones reducing him down to “clown manwhore,” because unlike op, we don’t see his character or connections as trivial by comparison. I know I for one have written multiple analyses on Gwaine’s characterization, traumas, and beliefs — flaws and all — because I believe there is more to him than many surface-level readings ascribe. Try looking in a mirror next time you say it.

Toodles 🛳️

[liviavanrouge]

Deina: *Stares then starts to step forward*

Sebastian: *Grabs her arm, stopping her* Let me do it.

Ominis: Sebastian!

Natty: *Stands with Poppy and Imelda, looking nervous*

Everett: *Stares silently, fixing his glasses*

Deina: Sebastian, it's fine

Sebastian: No it is not fine! I don't want to see you hurt or worse...dead..

Deina: It's just the unbreakable vow, so my cousin can show he's trustworthy

Sebastian: Deina, if either of you break the vow you die!

Deina: I know, Uncle Casper told me...

Sebastian: I'll make the vow in your place...let me do it..

Deina: Sebastian-

Ominis: Have you gone bloody mad!

Imelda: Sebastian, you will die if you agree to this!

Poppy; None of us has to do this, can't we find another way...

Sebastian: *Places his hands on Deina's cheeks, resting his forehead against hers* Trust me okay, let me do this...

Deina: ....I don't want to see you die, if that day comes..

Sebastian: *Sighs, his eyes darting down then back at her* I won't....trust me when I say I won't..

Deina: *Stares at him then nods* Okay...

Ominis: DEINA!!

Sebastian: Alright *Moves back, pressing a kiss to her forehead* ....I love you..

Deina: *Perks up, her eyes widening* What...

Sebastian: *Turns and walks towards Gray*

Deina: *Steps forward* Sebastian-

Natty and Imelda: *Quickly grabs Deina, keeping her back, their eyes wide*

Everett: Oh Merlin's beard....

Sebastian: *Holds his hand out, staring at Gray*

Gray: Why isn't Deina coming over?

Sebastian: I'm doing it for her...are we doing this or not?

Gray: *Grabs Sebastian's hand, nodding to Casper*

Casper: *Holds his wand up, looking regretful* You both have a chance to back out of this....

Sebastian: No....not after what they've done to her..

Gray: I agree....

Casper: Will you Gray, help to protect Deina Florina Malfoy with any knowledge you have of what the family is planning, to have her informed before they can strike...and to protect her when the time comes?

Gray: I swear..

Sebastian: *Pulls Gray closer, lowering his voice* I swear....that if anything happens to Deina, I will hunt you down and make sure you regret the day you approached her..

Gray: *Stares with wide eyes alarmed* A-Alright...

Sebastian: *Looks down as the glow vanished, snatching his hand away from Gray and wiping it on his robes* We're done here

Deina: *Stumbles forward, running over to Sebastian*

Sebastian: *Stops in his tracks as Deina throws her arms around his neck, his arms hugging her tight* I'm fine...we better sneak back in before others notice we're gone

Deina: *Nods, letting him go, glancing at Gray*

Gray: Father...

Casper: Huh?

Gray: *Stares Sebastian down* I don't like that guy being so close to Deina....he's too possessive..

~~~~~

Deina: *Sighs, heading down the steps, running to the courtyard to meet with her friends*

Sebastian: *Waves to her, smiling* Deina!

Arthur: Hey Deina!

Deina: *Smiles at him, sitting betweem Sebastian and Poppy* Arthur, hey!!

Arthur: Decided to join you all today, sorry I haven't had time to hang out

Deina: *Leans against Sebastian, her pinkie hooked with his* It's fine! Happy you're here now!

Sebastian: *Sighs, resting his head on top of hers* Last night was crazy

Arthur: Last night? What happened last night?

Natty: We'll tell you but you have to promise not to tell anybody!

Arthur: I swear! My lips are sealed right!

Ominis: *Huffs* They better...

Deina: *Looks at the others and nods, looking back at Arthur* Okay, Arthur, this is what happened....

[ambriel-angstwitch]

You’re losing me is Merthur coded

You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't"

Arthur responds to finding out about Merlin’s magic with confusion and disbelief

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

Merlin thought he could save Arthur from his fate but now he realizes he can’t

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

Merlin and Arthur loved Camelot because of the life it held. Merlin loved it even more because of Arthur and the future it promised, but now Arthur’s gone and he didn’t get what he wanted.

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

When things get hard Merlin might wonder if all this was worth it

I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes Mendin' all her gashes

Merlin is a a resilient person enemies keep beating him down but he just keeps going. He’d destroy himself and he’d destroy other people and things just to keep Arthur safe.

You might just have dealt the final blow

Merlin loves Arthur more than anything but he knows that Arthur might kill him if he learned about his magic and he knows he’d let him (at least if he knew Arthur would be ok afterwards)

Stop, you're losin' me… I can’t find a pulse My heart won't start anymore For you 'Cause you're losin' me

As Arthur put all of his focus on Gwen and then on the anger that came from losing her. He started to lose Merlin, Merlin would never leave but he didn’t have as much energy, his smile faded, he didn’t joke as much anymore.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

Arthur said he loved Merlin but yet he chose Gwen that slowly drained Merlin. The one Merlin loved so deeply couldn’t give the same love back.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

When Arthur finds out about Merlin’s magic their relationship will never be the same again. No matter if it turned out ok or horribly it still could never be the same. Arthur doesn’t know what to do with this information, he knows what someone having magic should mean but it’s Merlin.

I know my pain is such an imposition

Merlin is an imposition of the law just by being himself, but his pain is something of a burden because he wants something he can’t have not only is he a servant but he’s a man. Arthur and him could never be accepted.

Now, you're runnin' down the hallway And you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone

Merlin couldn’t imagine how much it would hurt to see Arthur marry someone else until it happened and he didn’t even confront the possibility of losing him until it happened and he had to deal with the pain

How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

Arthur and Merlin were a tragic story and that started even before Arthur died but when he died that cemented the end. They could have been something greater if Arthur had known sooner but it’s too late now.

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

Merlin gave Arthur his everything. He stayed even when Arthur lashed out at him. He wasn’t mad at Arthur for hating what made Merlin because he understood that was how he was made.

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

But in the end all Merlin got was pain.

Fighting in only your army

Merlin only ever used his magic for Arthur

Frontlines, don't you ignore me

He stood by Arthur’s side against all odds, the dragon, Morgana, the Vikings, you name it. No matter the odds he was there, that was something Arthur saw and respected.

I'm the best thing at this party

Ok a little break from the angst. Do you ever think of that scene during a feast where it’s Merthur having intense eye contact like they’re the only thing that matters? Because that’s the only Merthur connection I could think of here

And I wouldn't marry me either

Merlin realizes why Arthur chose Gwen.

A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her

Merlin despite being argumentative and sometimes annoying still just wants to make Arthur happy.

And I'm fadin', thinkin' "Do something, babe, say something” "Lose something, babe, risk something" "Choose something, babe, I got nothing To believe Unless you're choosin' me"

Back to how I started this Merlin doesn’t like that Arthur responded to learning his secret with silence. He wants an answer, he needs to know what Arthur thinks and feels. Nothing is worse than the outright hatred. The unknown is far worse than knowing it could have been better.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

In The Next Life, My Love

A quick little bitter drabble that I didn’t have time to develop fully but needed to write.

TW: The ending is not open. Everyone’s dead yo. Angst.

It’s dark and cold, where they are, The King and his servant, and the end is coming. They know it’s coming, no point denying it, or fighting it; they’ve been locked up for so long that their wrists, once strong and thick and soft, rattle in their chains. The mould is getting to them, making their heads ache and their skin crawl, but they have each other, and in the darkness they each have a light in the form of the other’s exponentially bony fingers intertwined with their own:

“Merlin,-”

The King coughs, and this one word—this name that now means everything to him, and perhaps always had—quiet and rasping and so very very pained, saps almost all his remaining energy. His companion comforts him the only way he can, a cold, damp-wrinkled thumb scraping the back of his hand, and waits patiently until The King’s chest calms enough to allow him to continue:

“-in the next life,-”

Merlin interrupts him, his voice more quiet, more rasping, more pained, but far, far more determined:

“I’ll serve you. Always, Arthur.”

“No.-”

His dismissal, his order, is the loudest noise either of them have heard in days, and Merlin flinches, moaning quietly as the pounding in his head, which he had managed to forget about, magnifies significantly:

“-no, Merlin, no.-”

Arthur’s continuation is so quiet, so soft, Merlin has to think for a few seconds before he can process what he’s said:

“-In the next life, Merlin, I... I...-”

He sighs, or sighs as well as he can when every breath he takes in is as shallow as a puddle on cobblestones and painful as a knife to the chest; his eyes close, though he couldn’t really tell they were open before, his vision having become so blurred he couldn’t tell his thinning legs from the rotten floor. There’s a long pause, and the only evidence Merlin has that his King hasn’t passed on between one word and the next is the rattling breaths he hears from beside him. 

Breathing is what he focuses on, what he holds on to. It had been a cacophony before; an orchestra of inhalations and exhalations had surrounded them, before the candles they’d been left with had burned to nothing and the others had stopped breathing, one by one.

Merlin has always known his King well, so when he stops speaking—stutters, stutters, stops—he doesn’t worry, Merlin knows Arthur is just searching for the right words. Always, always searching for the right words, and never quite finding them. Always searching, always being too afraid of settling for something subpar, so never saying anything at all. Every time it happens, it breaks his heart a little, but every time Arthur tries again... it mends him.

He lets him think.

Think.

Think.

Think.

Another stroke along the back of his hand prompts Arthur to continue. He’s not sure he’s found the right words, but he thinks they’ll have to do:

“-In the next life, Merlin, you will not serve me for a second. Not for a second. In the next life, I’ll find you, you won’t have to find me, I’ll find you, and I’ll tell you that I... that I love you, and we’ll spend our lives together again, but... but better. I promise, Merlin, next time it will be better.”

His voice cracks and crumbles and falls apart as he whispers his secrets to the darkness. He wonders, for a moment, if Merlin were really alive. If perhaps he’d died days ago like the others and he was just imagining the squeezes, the strokes. The hand he’s holding is cold enough and stiff enough to be from a corpse. He thinks maybe the breathing and coughing were just echoes of his own, that maybe he is alone in the depths of the earth. The silence—other than the rasping rasping rasping breaths so similar to his own—stretches long enough that Arthur is halfway further to being mad when Merlin finally, really, replies:

“Ok. I... Ok. Just... promise me one thing?-”

Arthur hums, and the choking noise is something terrible, but it gets the point across, and he figures the clicking sound coming from his right is Merlin twisting his head, so he can at least pretend that they’re able to look at each other; Arthur follows his lead, and he likes to think that, when he opens his tired, dry eyes, and squints through the pitch blackness, that he can see something blue peering back at him:

“-Have better timing, next time?”

Arthur can hear the smirk in his voice, and he thinks, if he’d had enough energy, he could cry and wail and scream at the prospect of the next life not being promised, and even if it where, their meeting in it not being guaranteed. He can’t conceive of a world, or an unworld, whatever comes after he stops hurting so much, in which he doesn’t have Merlin’s smirk. As it is, the only reaction his starving mind can manage is a single, small tear slipping down his cheek as he tactically twitches his pinkie finger in Merlin’s grip, and mumbles back:

“Promise.”

The silence descends once more, and when Merlin speaks, or, more accurately, when Merlin forces his last breath to take the form of words, he realises, in his last spark of thought as his tongue collapses over the very last syllable, that his last remaining companion may not have remained long enough to hear him:

“I love you too, Arthur.”

~

The End.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Anyway.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Hope you enjoyed😅

[cbk1000]

Here, have another little excerpt from the giant ‘one-shot’ I’m writing about dumb gay people helping animals in the countryside:

 They were talking again, so Merlin noticed occasionally, in passing, whilst they were ribbing one another, that Arthur’s shoulders stood out under his jumpers, or jackets: and that when he threw back his head to laugh, it showed how the snaggle-toothed smile was contributing to the effect, rather than detracting; all quite ordinary remarks made by a mind whose livelihood was oriented to detail. He had to spot where a foot turned over wrongly in its gait, or a spot was breaking free of some hide; and so he did notice, without especial notice, all these small plodding mundanities of what was slightly more handsome than middling.

He was a little concerned for his reputation for taste when Morgana asked him one evening, “Why are you wearing my brother’s clothes?”; but he was not concerned about wearing the clothes. 

“I’m not,” he said, and bent over the hoof he was examining.

“That’s his wellington, the green one. And that’s his jacket.”

“Oh, erm, well.” Merlin scratched at one of his hot ears. “The wellie I stole because I figured it might as well have a decent owner, and I lost mine. The jacket he just threw in my face. Mine’s got a tear. And he hurled it at me, and I figured if he’s going to be an arse, I might as well get something out of it.”

“It’s very saccharine boyfriends of you.”

“Is it a keratoma?” Arthur asked him, coming up to the stall at precisely the wrong moment with the tea, and glaring at Morgana. 

“Yeah, looks like.”

“Why is Merlin wearing your clothes like he’s your absent-minded husband who never remembers his own rain gear?”

“Like he’s my what?” Arthur barked. “You’re talking utter rot.” He scratched his nose, and turned to Merlin. “So: keratoma?”

“Yeah; I’ll x-ray it and take a wee tissue sample to be absolutely sure, and determine exactly how big it is, but I’m pretty confident that’s what we’ve got. Just need to determine if it can be removed under local anaesthesia, or if we’ll have to do general.”

“How’s your tea taste, Merlin?” Morgana asked in a tone of immense innocence. “Like it’s steeped in tender love and care?”

“Will you shut up?” Arthur snapped.

“I was only asking a question.”

“You’re only being annoying.”

“It tastes like arse,” Merlin interjected helpfully.

“It does not,” Arthur argued.

“How would you know what arse tastes like?” Morgana asked in the same tone in which she had enquired about the tea.

“I don’t,” Arthur snapped. “But I do know all the secluded spots on these grounds where a murder can be both carried out and covered up with no one ever the wiser.”

“You don’t have the stomach for it,” Morgana replied disdainfully. “He cried once because I killed a spider. Didn’t want it on him, but made a fuss like I’d shot the queen because I squashed it.”

“I was six. And I didn’t cry.”

“You were six and still doing human emotions?” Merlin shook his head. “What a cream puff. By the time I was two I’d done away with all that. Every time something upsetting happened to me, I would simply just pound my chest, or punch an adder in the face. Like real men do.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Well, I didn’t cry; Morgana is an infamous and habitual liar.”

“I’ve got loads of other childhood stories, if you want to hear them, Merlin. I think the most embarrassing one, if I have to pick, is when he was fifteen, there was a footie match where he--”

Arthur grabbed her. “You promised to take that to the grave.”

“Oh, I will; but now Merlin knows there’s some story about a footie match when you were fifteen that’s so humiliating fifteen years later you’re still holding me to a childhood pact sealed with some spit and a tenner to never speak of it again. And now he can imagine anything he wants. Any possible scenario is open to him. Possibly he might even come up with something worse than what actually happened, and then you’ll have to tell him, risking the humiliating ordeal of being known, or the humiliating ordeal of letting it simmer in his imagination, where you could be doing God knows what at that footie match.” And she smiled beatifically, and patted Arthur on the cheek, and left them with that tremendous gift she had just bestowed upon Merlin.

“She is pure evil,” Merlin said admiringly.

“I know,” Arthur said drily.

“So what’d you do?”

“None of your business.”

“She’s right, you know. You’re going to have to tell me. I have a very good imagination.”

“I’d rather be kneecapped,” Arthur said pleasantly.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Confirmation

Read on Ao3

Warnings: hallucinations

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 1515

"There's a man sitting in the corner of the room."

The words manage to still Arthur in a matter of seconds, gaze flicking up to the look on Merlin's face before slowly looking around.

It's the quiet shake of vulnerability that keeps him from dismissing the idea out of hand or scoffing and making a joke. In all the times he's spoken to Merlin, both before and after his father died, Merlin's never sounded like this.

Tired? Yes, most assuredly, he's spoken with exhaustion laced through every word.

Upset? Very few things can replicate the sincere hurt Merlin once hurled at him.

Afraid? Despite all the jokes he makes about Merlin being a coward, he's only ever truly heard fear once or twice.

But no, Merlin has never sounded like this. Even the first time they'd huddled in his chambers after some battle or encounter with a magical creature that left them shaking, Merlin had been a bit sharper, a bit harsher, pointing out misleads and omission with a quiet rage until the real perpetrator had been caught. And he'd certainly appeared more vulnerable—you could only look so strong on your deathbed—but there had always been an unspoken dignity or confidence that made Merlin easy to see.

And perhaps it's the memory of that, the hard-won comradery and ease between them that quiets Arthur's voice.

"Where?"

Merlin glances up and nods to an empty corner. "I don't know how long he's been there. Since you came in at least. He keeps looking at you."

Arthur glances over. There really is nothing there. But if Merlin can see someone…

He begins to move, intent on going over to touch the blank walls, or stand in the empty corner, when a sudden grip on his sleeve makes him stop.

"Don't leave," Merlin mumbles, "please."

Arthur stops, lingering by the chair Merlin's huddled around, watching him tug the fabric of his sleeve, rubbing it back and forth over his fingers. After a moment, he leans down, lowering his voice as he would with a frightened child.

"There really is no one there, Merlin," he says as gently as he can muster, "I swear. It's just an empty corner."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes. I promise. We're the only people in this room."

"…thank you."

Arthur hums, letting Merlin continue to fuss with his sleeve. They stay there in the quiet of Arthur's chambers for a while, until Merlin's hand twitches violently and he jerks away, as if suddenly realizing what he was doing.

"Sorry."

"I didn't mind."

He even moves his arm a little so it presses against Merlin's shoulder. After a while, Merlin's head gingerly lowers, resting against it. Arthur shifts a little closer to make it easier and turns his hand so it rests against Merlin's arm.

They stay like that until a guard knocks on the door and says Arthur's needed elsewhere.

That's how it starts. Whispered or murmured words of something Merlin can see, promises made that there's nothing there. They don't come often, but they come frequently enough for Arthur to ask whether Gaius knows about it.

"I've seen how Gaius looks at me already," Merlin confesses in hushed tones, as if there's someone listening in, "I don't want him to look at me any differently."

Arthur doesn't ask again.

When Merlin starts to mumble the reassurances to himself, he thinks that might have been the end of it. But then instead of statements about seeing something, it's questions.

"Are the candles blowing out?"

"Can you hear music?"

"Was that your chair?"

Arthur answers each one he can, checking his chair, listening for music, or taking Merlin's arm to guide him past the candles. Each time, no matter how small, there is a quiet moment of vulnerability that never fails to give Arthur pause. It's a new type of trust for him, to be trusted to hold something that fragile in his hands and not break it.

There's a time when Merlin asks in front of a group of knights—not their knights, who would have understood and probably glared at Arthur even though he's the one who's being asked—and one of them scoffs, laughing in disbelief, as another one says that yes, of course there's a bloody man in the corner.

He takes a little too much satisfaction out of the way Merlin relaxes when he says gently yet firmly that no, you're alright, and the flash of fear that crosses everyone else's faces at the look he gives them.

Then come the tactile hallucination.

"Arthur?"

"Mm?" Arthur glances up from his desk to see Merlin staring at nothing, one arm clutched in the other. "Are you alright?"

"Can I ask a very stupid question?"

Arthur sits up, setting the quill aside. He's learned by now that 'very stupid question' is Merlin for 'I'm about to expose a vulnerability that I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and scared about sharing.' "What is it?"

"…can you check and see if there are any bite marks on my arms?"

He's still for a moment, processing the question, before he stands up and walks over, holding out his hands. Merlin places one shaking arm in his hold, eyes still fixed on nothing.

Slowly, carefully, he runs his hands over Merlin's arms. Over the soft, curly down on the tops to the thin delicate skin underneath where his veins are just visible. He checks the insides of his wrists, the crook of his elbow, every place he can think of. When he finishes with one and pronounces it clear, Merlin offers the other one and he repeats the process, patient and thorough.

"No bites," he says after he's finished with both, "no marks."

Merlin nods. "Thank you."

He hums and returns to his desk, but he can't help but glance up every once in a while just to check.

The tactile ones are rare indeed. He can count on one hand the number of times Merlin asks him for something like that—it's yet another new layer to the trust between them, one that starts to feel a bit more like protection. It's a terrifyingly powerful feeling, to be protecting someone not by the sword in his hand or the crown on his head. In certain moments, it feels far more important than that.

Then comes the day of the crash.

He walks into his chambers to see Merlin perched on a chair in an eerily similar way to how it was the very first time this happened. Merlin's eyes are wide and unseeing, tears on his cheeks, hands curled and folded like limp flower petals in his lap. He looks so small and young and scared and lost that Arthur's crossing to kneel before him without a second thought.

"What's wrong," he asks gently, "what's happening?"

"I don't know. I don't know where I am. I don't—I don't know anything anymore."

"You're in my chambers," he says, reaching out to cradle Merlin's hands in his, "on a chair. The curtains are drawn. The sun is setting outside. I'm in here with you. It's just me, only me. See? Can you hold onto me?"

Shaking fingers wrap around his and Arthur squeezes.

"That's it. You hold onto me. I'm real. You're real. We're both real. It's okay, Merlin, I'm here and so are you. It's okay. I promise you it's alright. We're okay."

"A-Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin, it's me. Only me. You've got me, see? You're alright. You're doing very well." Another set of tears rolls down Merlin's cheeks and he reaches up to brush them away. "It's alright, Merlin. You're safe."

"I'm scared," Merlin whispers, and Arthur can feel his chest begin to ache at the very thought, "Arthur, I'm scared."

Frantically, Arthur looks about, trying to figure out what he can do to comfort Merlin, give him something to ground him, to make him believe him, make him feel safe, but when nothing comes to mind, he bites back a curse and settles on the floor.

"Come here," he encourages, opening his arms wide, "come let me hold you, I'll protect you."

Merlin looks at him with those big sad eyes and Arthur is going to take his sword and eviscerate whatever's made Merlin so fragile.

"Come here, sweetheart," he murmurs, nodding encouragingly when Merlin starts to move, "come here, yes, that's it, come and let me hold you, shh, it's alright, you can put your weight on me, there you go."

Merlin folds himself up against Arthur's chest, letting him wrap his arms fully around him, his head hiding in the crook of Arthur's neck. Arthur rubs his back firmly, daring to nuzzle into Merlin's crop of black hair.

"Shh, sweetheart," he says gently, rocking them slightly back and forth, "shh, shh, it's okay. I'm right here. You've got me, see? You've got me."

A new sort of trust, a new sort of protection. And yet as he holds his Merlin there, on the floor of his chambers with the sun setting outside, he thinks that if this were his kingdom he would gladly defend it until his last breath.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Mercelot WIP - My Dearest, Merlin,

This has been sat in my drafts for a while. I’ll probably finish it if enough people want to read more

—

Merlin gets a letter from Lancelot, it’s addressed “My dearest, Merlin,” instead of “My dearest Merlin,” and so Merlin frets about his own feelings possibly being returned but more likely that the comma was just a mistake and Lancelot couldn’t possibly feet the same.

Just before this, Merlin is looking through Arthur’s desk for ink when Arthur walks in. Merlin is accused of stealing letters but that’s quickly cleared up when Arthur checks the address on the letter, they get into talking about it, Arthur teases a little until he realises how much the letter means to Merlin, then when Merlin doubts Lancelot having feelings for him, Arthur tells Merlin he’s got no reason to doubt. (He’s a little jealous, but caring too)

Just a snippet of a conversation between two friends talking about feelings.

—

Arthur may have been his destiny, running parallel to Merlin for years. Lancelot and Merlin ran perpendicular, they had met and loved but they had lost and were now marching forward and further apart, both constantly looking back to that one moment where they had both fit together. Where, just for one night, both men could feel whole as they curled into each others soft embrace.

Why would Lancelot choose this when he could have anyone?

Lancelot, who knew Merlin’s love did not fit what he had been told it should, who knew Merlin’s heart and still gifted him his soul regardless.

Arthur sighed, breaking him from his thoughts, “Do you love him?” He asked softly.

Merlin looked down, “that’s ridiculous, what difference would it make if I did?” He said, fingers tracing over the words on the letter, ‘with all my heart,’

Arthur was quiet.

And the foolish thing was, “Yes,” he whispered, screwing his eyes shut as though waiting for ridicule. Because the truth was, he loved Lancelot with all his heart. So painfully and irreparably in love with the man who could read his soul, who knew his heart, and who still held him like he was something precious.

Lancelot, the man who promised to guard his secrets like a dragon would it’s hoard, who offered to risk death when Merlin told him of every love and loss to simply hold him close so his mourning could be witnessed and realised. Who had promised him that his life was worth living for himself because he believed there to be a gift in each breath that Merlin gave to the world.

Arthur didn’t say anything, he moved around to the other side of the desk, reaching into the middle draw on the other side, the side Merlin hadn’t looked in, and produced a half used ink pot and a quill, then he took a piece of parchment from the draw above and set them all on the dark oak surface. Merlin blinked his eyes open when he felt a hand drop onto his shoulder, guiding him towards the chair. Merlin looked up confused as Arthur stared at him in earnest.

“So love him.” He said, both hands on Merlin’s shoulders and glancing towards the desk, then meeting Merlin’s eyes with a sad and weary expression.

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

About a month ago (I thought it was longer!) I posted some ficlets with the promise that a longer Lancelot Lives Alt Season 4 full fic was coming. It has been going slowly. Like, "less than 15k words since then" slow. I started alt Servant of Two Masters literally with Mercelot Week and they've just found out that he's trying to kill Arthur slow. And I thought, you know, I could post another sneak peek.

A few days ago, I made myself sad writing the first conversation between Lancelot and Merlin since the latter went missing (not that the scene itself comes off as all that sad, it is from Fomorroh!Merlin, but I thought of how sad Lancelot would've been and well). Yesterday, I made this fic into a comedy:

“It’s probably best that we get there first,” Gwen tried to demur.

“We think Merlin might have been enchanted to kill Arthur,” Gaius said.

Gwen made a sound like a mix between a boiling kettle and a cat whose tail had been stepped on, but Lancelot didn’t pay it any mind.

“What?” he yelped and didn’t wait for an actual answer before breaking into a run. 

Fortunately, while the physician’s chambers were on the top of a tower, isolated from the rest of the castle, they’d also been placed close to the Royal Chambers. He burst through the doors not a minute later, just in time to see Merlin pull an arrow out of a pillar. Thinking only of that weapon in his hand (the danger to Arthur’s life, to Merlin’s life if he was caught after the act, how it’d break his heart if he hurt Arthur or worse) and not the startled look on his face or the bewildered question from behind the privacy screen, Lancelot launched himself at him.

They went down in a tangle of limbs.

“What on earth— Lancelot?!” Arthur exclaimed, running over. “What is going on?!”

“Get off me!” Merlin struggled like a fish on land.

“I just… hadn’t seen him since he came back!” Lancelot said, barely dodging an elbow to the face. “I’m so happy he’s alive!” he insisted, finally managing to wrap his arms around his torso to immobilize him.

“What are you talking about? We just saw each other in the Armoury!” It was a good thing Merlin had dropped the arrow when they fell, because Lancelot was pretty sure he’d have been stabbed by now otherwise. 

“I think you imagined that.” Lancelot was half trying to pin Merlin’s legs under his own, half trying to avoid a kick to any sensitive spot when Gwen arrived at the door, out of breath.

“Arthur, they need you at the Throne Room,” she gasped out. “You have to go.”

“Why would I ever torture myself by imagining more conversations with you? The ones I have to suffer through in reality are more than enough for any sane being,” Merlin said, still wriggling.

Lancelot shot Arthur a wide beam. “He’s so funny.”

Merlin took that moment of distraction to twist suddenly, getting his legs under himself. He might have gotten enough leverage to shake Lancelot off and stand up if Gwen hadn’t jumped on him as well.

“You too?!” Arthur demanded, arms spread. “You saw him this morning!”

“I missed him so much,” she explained, holding on for dear life.

Gaius appeared at the door and Arthur turned to him.

“Let me guess.” Arthur gestured wildly. “Do you want to drop to my floor?”

“No, sire,” Gaius answered, eyes narrowed. “Do you?”

Arthur made a strangled noise that choked itself into a laugh.

“Back to normal, then,” he sighed. He walked across the room, past the wrestling figures in the floor that became a lot more active when Merlin saw Arthur come within reach, and grabbed his ceremonial sword. “I better get going. You” —he waved a hand— “have fun.”

“Wait,” Merlin shouted after him. “Don’t you need me to—?”

Arthur slammed the door behind himself pointedly.