#just because a fucking lizard wanted to play games

[amariram]

2x06 - 5x13

“It’s too late”

[chitinleg]

"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."

Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?

[iudiex]

almost doneeeee.

[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so ive had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS at this point and i need to tell someone about it so im invading your asks

(ages for this au, id imagine Damians around like- 12 or 13 and Tim/JJ's like- 17)

What if a version of Damian (like from ine of the good happy batfam universes) was sent to to a universe with Joker Junior where the rest of the bats were killed by the Joker and JJ was never reacued and brought back to being Tim?

And Damian is like- terrified because he doesnt know where he is or how to get back home and then hes found by JJ.

And like- at first JJ would probably try to leave Damian but once he gets a good look at this kid baby brother, thats his baby brother- he would realize that he recognizes this kid. So he keeps him!

The only problem with that is the Joker. Now the bats are all dead (or theres circumstances preventing them from doing anything) in this universe so theres nobody around to stop the Jokers shit. And we all know that the Joker isnt above murdering or tourturing kids. (Id imagine the JJ of this universe has done stuff like that once or twice, but he doesnt like to. He's a smaller equally manical yet WAY less bloodthirsty version of the joker)

So JJ keeps Damian hidden from his "Papa" until the bats of Damians universe are able to find a way to bring him back home. In the meantime tho, Damians under JJ's care, and its terrifying, but at least he tries!

Now in my mind Joker Jr. is kinda like Jinx from Arcane with mood swings, visual and audio halucinations, so so smart but so so crazy and confused and SCARED and oh so close to finally snapping until he actually does.

And this boy that he kiddnaped rescued confuses the fuck out of him. Because Junior recognizes him from somewhere and he doesnt know why.

(I hope this all makes sense its kinda just like a word vomit lmao my lizard brain just want crazy older brother Joker Jr. [Also there isnt enough JJ content out there and that is a crime])

(Older brother JJ content??? Fuck yeah)

TW: JJ, torture, child abuse

JJ... Recognizes those glaring emerald eyes and scowling face. He doesn't know why, but it causes reality around him to pulse with uncertainty as it teters between JJ's world and someone else's. Someone Papa doesn't like.

JJ won't talk to them. He knows he's not supposed to. Papa will become angry. So Junior tears his eyes from the bird kid baby bat and turns to leave. A tsk stops him.

Another wave of familiarity crashes over JJ, but he doesn't know that child. He doesn't. He really really doesn't know him.

So, Junior should move. Papa won't he happy if JJ can't move.

Well, unless Papa is teaching JJ a lesson.

His nerves light up at the memory of cold metal tables, electric probes, and buzzing.

JJ needs to go, but that kid. He can't leave him. He also can't take him with either. He knows what happens to the kids Joker meets.

Junior would never disobey his papa, but the ever-present buzzing noise isn't a deterrent for bad behavior. With how often he's punished, it hardly matters whether JJ is being a good child or not. He's always in trouble. Instead, that buzz is a reminder that he can't be caught.

JJ is smart. He's clever and sneaky. He's also great at lying, even to bats. While he may not know why lying to the nocturnal creatures is important, he knows it's an accomplishment he's proud of.

He can hide the child from Papa! It'll be a fun game! Junior's little surprise.

Junior isn't sure what he's winning, but he knows what will happen when he loses.

Death to the bird and punishment to JJ! A great joke!

Though Junior doesn't know why the kid is a bird.

Oh well! JJ will take great care of the little bird. All he has to do is feed him and keep him hidden! It will be like all the other things JJ hides from Papa. He'll never admit it, but Junior thinks Papa is a little dumb. As long as JJ plays pretend with the older man, he'll remain unsupervised.

Anyways, JJ has more of a demented, childish voice while Tim is more analytical and serious.

Damian, to start with, doesn't recognize Tim. JJ has green hair, bleached skin, cut cheeks, and way less muscle mass. The behavior is drastically different as well (also, we're not gonna speculate any specific mental disorders for these AUs. JJ and Tim are considered different due to their characterizstions, but I don't want to put harmful connotations out there [especially since I don't have any relevant conditions to insert accurate and mindful interpretations]).

In this AU, the Bats are all dead. JJ did kill some of them, which drastically reduced his ability to recover and remember that he's Tim.

He didn't kill Damian, though. Tim also feels extremely protective of his younger siblings (Duke included). Unfortunately, they're dead in this AU :/

JJ oscillates between being terrified, peppy, silent, crying, and content at rapid rates. It takes several days for Damian to feel out some of the triggers.

The Bats from Damian's universe are trying their damned best to get there as soon as possible. Sadly, Joker finds out about Damian before then.

JJ, by this point, has bonded with the kid. That kid is HIS. He may have some slightly fucked up notions on how to show care, but he will not let anyone harm the bird (not even Papa).

So, JJ does his best joke yet. He kills Joker.

Only after killing the Joker do the other Bats show up. They offer to take JJ with them (particularly because that's Tim!!!), but he refuses. He doesn't want to go with his family. He doesn't remember them and he killed some of them.

He can't stay with them.

[andre-and-cal]

Smooch

give us some lil Caldre headcanons

Smooches smooch :3

Here’s my Caldre headcanons !! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

THIS IS TECHNICALLY PART 1 BC ANON POOKIE WANTED FREAKY HEADCANONS SO PART 2 IS NEXT

SFW

During sleepovers, Calvin and Andre usually play video games together on Andre’s PlayStation 2, and occasionally Cal’s Nintendo 64. Andre can get pretty competitive, but Cal doesn’t really take him seriously unless they’re both in an intense game of Half-Life— to which they’re both yelling at each other. Though it’s mostly Andre yelling at Cal. Yet by the time the night is over, they’re both cuddling as if they hadn’t woken up their parents and— if at Cal’s house— Cal’s siblings.

Cal occasionally sits on his bed like a teenage girl in some romcom movie whenever he’s on the phone with Andre. You know, that one pose where you lie on your tummy with your legs moving back and forth behind you and all— I’m trying to describe it in the best way I can, but Calvin mainly just does this because he thinks it’s funny.

This is unrelated but I know Andre and Cal would love playing GTA Online together in GTA 5 if they hadn’t gone through with Zero Day and if they hadn’t offed themselves.

Andre drew swastikas and wrote hate speech on his English I binder in freshman year. He obviously doesn’t actually have those beliefs; he just found it funny and found other students’ reactions amusing. But after he handed in his binder when it was time for a binder check in class, his teacher never gave the binder back to him LMAO.

Growing up, Cal was convinced that when someone was mean to you, they liked you. Sometimes he honestly acted like a prick to Andre for this reason, because he wanted to try and show him that he liked him without telling him that he did. And for a period of time he believed that Brad Huff had a crush on him and Andre, but that quickly dissipated when he brought it up to Andre. Andre had gotten extremely annoyed at him, quickly correcting his beliefs.

Cal and Andre watch gore videos on the internet to get themselves “used to seeing people dead”. The earliest shock site I can think of, LiveLeak, was established in 2006, so before that, I know these two found a way to stumble upon graphic gore videos when the internet was in its early age. Andre and Cal initially were extremely queasy about it and wouldn’t be able to watch more than a few seconds— but this was during freshman year, so over time they were able to watch more without having to exit out of the video.

Late night calls! Sometimes, if Cal’s feeling extra low and down or is stuck with his negatively ruminating thoughts, he’ll call Andre up on his flip phone in the middle of the night, just to hear his voice. And Andre’s jokes, even if he’s grumpy from being woken up— always cheer Cal up. No matter what, Andre always answers— he kind of has to anyways ‘cause his flip phone ringtone is fucking loud LMAO.

Cal got a virus on the family computer so Andre and his dad had to come over to his house to try and fix it. Ultimately, since computer viruses were a lot more destructive in the early 2000s, they were unable to fix the computer. However, Cal’s parents didn’t make him pay for it, assuming it was an accident, and instead paid for a new computer themselves.

Cal loves jumping spiders and lizards. He also read Jurassic Park when he was younger and he watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He read Jurassic Park with Andre in middle school, and they also played dinosaurs in middle school— where they chased each other around with one of them pretending to be the dinosaur. However, he and Andre stopped playing that game after Cal fell and hit his head on the wall in his house. Hearing Cal’s wails prompted Andre to drop down beside him and try and calm him down, and he felt terrible for what happened. Luckily, Cal only had a small bump and a minor concussion.

Andre never wanted a cat when he was younger, always trying to convince his parents and Cal that he didn’t like animals, complaining and saying shit like “Uhhg dogs are smelly and loud:/” and “Cats scratch people”. But as soon as his family and Cal’s family saved up money to buy him a kitten, Mel, they became attached to the hip. Mel is his baby.

Andre gets annoyed when Cal procrastinates when doing a task. He knows he can’t help it because of his ADHD— as I can see him as having the inattentive type (such as myself LMAO)— but he can’t help but feel angry that he doesn’t get shit done. But that’s Andre’s own short fuse projecting onto Cal sometimes. With my own personal experiences of being constantly reminded to do something until I do it, Cal likely struggles with the same— except from Andre or his parents.

Cuddles !! Cal does like to be held by Andre, but most of the time he favors feeling Andre’s body pressed up against him and in his arms— which works for Andre because he secretly prefers being the little spoon as well. He gets kind of embarrassed asking to be held, so he always tries to signal to Calvin to take the initiative and ask him if he wants to be the little spoon outright. However, it’s gotten so frequent that Cal doesn’t even need to ask anymore, Andre will just slowly scoot into his arms. Andre’s happy place is being held in Cal’s arms, hidden away from the rest of the putrid world, with nothing that could possibly harm him or Cal.

Cal absolutely LOVES flustering Andre by giving him gentle nose kisses.

Andre calls Cal affectionate names in German. Cal never knows what they mean and always asks Andre whenever he calls him something like “Schatz”, yet even though Andre gets red in the face, he still explains it to Cal. It makes Cal feel warm and fuzzy inside, and he likes hearing Andre speak German, having found the language and culture immensely interesting— which is totally not because Andre is German.

Since Andre has a bit of a deeper voice, he can imitate a vocal fry— that “growly” noise that metal singers do— pretty well, especially from his favorite rock and metal songs. ‘Cause let’s be so fr he got into heavy metal and hard rock because of Cal. Calvin LOVES hearing Andre do that vocal fry, and he just stares at him admiringly as he sings along to a favorite metal song of his.

Cal plays whatever Andre wants on his guitar. Andre can’t resist leaning in and tenderly kissing the blond after he’s finished strumming.

One time, in middle school, Cal and Andre were arguing so loudly that Andre’s mother made them wear a “get-along” shirt. Needless to say, with both of them being closeted at the time and crushing hard, their angry moods dissipated and they secretly enjoyed the close proximity, despite them acting as if they didn’t like it. Their red faces gave them away, though. However, Andre’s mother thought nothing of it.

[lesbianralzarek]

mtg standard decks i think the bg3 origins would play

astarion: monored aggro, but tbh i dont think hed even like it. he heard someone say its easy to pilot, and thats all Mr. Not Really The Planning Type needed to hear. bored and barely pays attention when hes playing. outside of the pun, i think orzhov bats would be a perfect fit for him, and make him feel smarter even if hes not the best at it

gale: keeps making combo decks and getting bored with them after a handful of wins prove to him that the concept works. still trying to break 2-mana jace. unwinds with azorius control and gets defensive when people call it winconless, because technically he has manlands and sunfall tokens. wants to think that his opponents are also having fun, but why tf would they be?

wyll: oh he had fun at the bloomburrow prerelease. still hasnt given up on frogs yet because he likes helga for both lore reasons (he loves an underdog! she just has to believe in herself!) and because hes a massive timmy who loves big creatures. totally isnt mad when his opponent efficiently removes 3 of his vaultborn tyrants in one game. why would he be mad? its just a game. he takes a smoke break after the match for completely unrelated reasons

karlach: hasnt played in years, so she had to rebuild her entire collection for standard (mostly plays edh for that reason. her fav is her rin and seri deck with mostly older cards in the 99 that she refuses to acknowledge are bad in 2024). plays the greediest lizard deck youve ever seen because shes also a timmy. i think shed like boomer jund if any of her friends (other than gale) played modern

lae'zel: prowess and she fucking loves it. "gruul is brain dead"? not the way she pilots that shit. she runs her deck like the navy. takes forever psychoanalyzing her opponent and thinking 4 turns ahead. cant play edh because she thinks the social contract is dumb. why doesnt everyone try to win? winning is fun? fight her like you mean it. genuinely a good sport when she loses so long as it was a good fight

shadowheart: looks like somebody misses the 8 rack. 4 cut downs, 4 go for the throats, 4 deep cavern bats, 4 bandits talents, my god she wishes thoughtseize was standard legal but liliana keeps her bloodthirst sated. gets mad when she loses to zoo decks but deep down its 70% jealousy. feels a weird sense of loyalty and duty to stick with monoblack, but shed convert to naya in 3 seconds if she ever tried it

[morganbritton132]

I love that Eddie is a craft guy! It just makes so much sense. Do you think he's one of those people who is CONSTANTLY doing a new craft and their house is just littered with Eddie's crafts, and he's always making little hand made gifts for Steve, the party and the band? I can totally imagine Steve coming home and the house just being in total disarray and Eddie's just like "I made a bird table and i personalised all your coffee cups :))"

Eddie Munson and the ADHD urge to start a new project before you finished the last one.

Despite Eddie’s big personality and the joy he gets galivanting across cafeteria tables and award show stages, he is very much a homebody. His favorite places growing up was his bedroom, Gareth’s garage, and the drama room where he hosted D&D. Then he went on tour and when the shows were over, he just wanted to be home.

He liked being able to strip away the Eddie Munson persona, sit down, and channel all the ideas in his head into a creative output.

Honestly, making money just made it worse. He can afford shit now.

Steve’s the opposite though.

Steve likes to be out of the house. He was a kid that lived in a big house with parents that never wanted to see or hear him, sometimes year-round sports were the only thing keeping him sane. Once Eddie made it big and was touring, Steve was once again alone in a big empty house and so he found things to do.

He meets up with Robin at least once a week to get dinner and drinks, and sometimes they go dancing or they sing karaoke. Him and Dustin meet up semi-regularly to catch up. He was a part of their neighborhood walking group before Diane annoyed him out of it. He goes bowling with some teachers from work occasionally and takes a pottery class that he sucks at. Him and Max are a part of a trivia team that has only ever succeeded at being the drunkest team in the game.

So, the combination of ‘Steve is 90% of my impulse control and he’s not here right now’ and ‘If I don’t create something, I will die’ means that sometimes Steve comes home to a new windchime or a questionably made bird house.

 Sometimes he comes home to Eddie embroidering one of his jackets by hand even though he bought an embroidery machine that he has never used. Other times, he comes home and Eddie has carved every bar of soap they had into a little fucked-up guy or he found a recorder and wants to play Steve a song.

Or sometimes, Steve returns home from the cooking class he’s taking at their local community center to beads. Beads everywhere.

Beads in the carpet. Beads on the hardwood. Beads in their shoes by the stairs. Beads everywhere.

Steve – who is pretty Type-A about their house being clean and organized because he has a shit memory and needs to be able to find things – very calmly sits aside the ravioli that he made and says, “Eddie, what the fuck?”

“I dropped them.”

Steve makes a gesture like ‘yeah, no shit’ and then just makes a distressed noise, but Eddie waves him off as he dumps a handful of beads into the good punch bowl that they use for parties, “Don’t blame me. Your cat tripped me. I nearly brained myself.”

“She’s only my cat when she’s bad,” Steve sighs, sitting down to help pick the beads up. “Why do you have beads anyways? Since when do we have beads?”

“Do you remember those beaded lizard keychains?” Eddie asks, and then when all he got was silence. “I’m going to make you one…after we pick up two thousand pony beads.”

Steve makes another noise that’s somewhere between ‘you’re causing me actual pain’ and ‘I love you so much it makes me stupid’ and Eddie grins at him. He gestures to the punch bowl and says, “Stevie, think about it. Once we fill this bad boy up, we can separate the beads by color. That’ll be fun, right?”

“…Yeah, I’d actually really like that.”

[bearieio]

hi spencer lets talk about keegan! 🥰

ummmmm !!! i don’t really think i have much to say about keegan !!!!!!! hmm……. (＾＾＃)

except for the unfortunate fact that i think of him as being a total heartbreaker :(

I DONT KNOW WHY DONT ASK!-

another thing is when the two of you first started going out, and he tried to act like the nonchalant, quiet, and mysterious guy, but failed on like the third date because you mentioned your love for video games. 

now that the two of you are moved in together, he WILL torture you with that voice and those eyes of his.

he’ll sneak up on you and startle you with his deep-toned and booming voice, making sure to get his lips as close to your ear as he physically can. 

he’ll also just stare at you until you notice that he’s staring at you. genuinely scaring you, and giving no context as to why he was staring at you. AND LIKE IT’S INTENTIONAL SO-

toxic loser gamer bf. idk. probably plays overwatch and league/valorant and gets mad and screams into that poor mic of his..

“where’s our GODDAMN lucio?!- w-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING REIN-“

definitely makes random dad noises…

speaking of dad noises, he has one of those la-z-y boy recliners that has a built in cup holder, back massager, and led lights or some shit

i think he gives off a sort of “older brothers best friend” typa vibe… which ALSO means that he’s definitely a bully and teases the absolute hell out of you.

one day he’ll go to town on some show you seem to enjoy. “isn’t this show for kids?”, “ babe why the fuck does the main character look like that?”, “you’ve seriously watched 3 seasons of this bullshit?-“

and then like the very next day he’ll be like “baby, why aren’t you watching that show you like so much?

MOTHERFUCKER YOU-

also correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t keegan’s love language acts of service? whether it’s big or small, he’ll always want to do something for you!

tying your shoes

opening doors/pulling out chairs

helping you out with the laundry

putting gas in your car

making you a cup of coffee/tea/anything in the morning

helping you out with dinner

taking the time to ask you how you are, if there’s anything you wanna talk about. 

how he loves watching your eyes light up and widen and how your lips will contort into that “stupid little smile of yours” (his words, not mine!), and how you get all excited and your muscles don’t look so tense anymore.

he’s mean but he cares :(

keegan is that person we all know whose literally an endless pit. eating anything and everything in sight (he’s just like me fr).

he will eat tomates whole

and more than likely brags about his “human vacuum” ability to everyone he meets. 

is most likely the person who asks if you’re gonna finish something on your plate you haven’t even touched yet.

speaking of eating everything in sight, when he’s the one making dinner, he’ll serve you 2-3x the amount you usually eat. but he just wants to make sure that you’re okay and eating! (eat your food, people!)

keegan’s just a really crazy silly wacky guy!

he sends you and the guys memes that only he understands.

and he MAKES the memes that only he understands.

the one time you guys can even look his memes without trying to decipher the four color theorem first, they usually look something like this: 

circling back to when i mentioned that he bullies and teases you every chance he gets- he teases you ALL the time, in private AND in public!!!

“babe- it was literally just like that time when you shot milk outta your nose and then you tripped and fell over-” he shouts, in front of the rest of the ghosts

“guys this one time my girl and i were walking somewhere downtown- and- and we saw a lizard scurrying along the ground- and she LITERALLY almost crapped herself-“ 

this guy will almost always automatically bust into a full song & dance routine whenever he hears taylor swift on the radio. 

does he necessarily like taylor? fuucckk no! but IS going to be bussin it down to ‘love song?" fuccckkkk yea!

‘party in the USA?’ you’re curled up on the bed, reading a book, when you’re suddenly transported into a stadium with 50,000 people screaming and the voice of miley cyrus is engulfing your ear canals. minus the fact that you’re not in a stadium, and 50,000 aren’t screaming and jumping around you. it’s keegan and his portable speaker blaring the obnoxiously loud music, while doing backflips n shit on your guys’ shared bed, messing up the sheets and prompting the dogs to come running in right after him.

he’s insane. i love him.

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 2)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by john.marino97, jesperbratt, and 226,513 others

y/ndevils00 hello and welcome back to your preseason recap! i’m your host, y/n “dove”, here to give you my totally unbiased and not at all subjective rundown!

as this is preseason, not all of our favorite whores were playing tonight (gotta give the babies a chance!) but among the ones who WERE, we have best friend (or idiot) number 2, sweet baby jesper, akira-shakira, basket bahl, smush, uncle lizard, new-found uncle truffle, and everyone’s favorite babygirl: jacky!

side note: do you guys think Jack was looking around suspiciously in fear of me taking his picture? 👀

we had a pretty uneventful first period until my recently acquired uncle, tyler, scored the first goal of the game! go uncle truffle! he also let uncle lizard borrow his stick and glove! we love besties who share!

we opened second period with (fuck it we) bahl getting a penalty for interference! in my opinion, he didn’t interfere with anything because trash cannot be disrupted… but whatever! (yes i did stand on an empty seat to get that picture over the glass, no i will not be stopped)

halfway through second we had a goalie switch! those are fun! (they are not fun.) and i was caught taking a picture…. that doesn’t happen often, the guys can’t usually find me… i think schmido-torpedo has a y/n-sense. kinda like the sense i have to catch Jack when he’s watching cocomelon (that can also be found on slide 6)

in third period, my sweet sweet baby bratter got the devils ahead by one with his goal! pop off, you sweet swedish fish!

seeing as he went to the matt tkachuk school of hockey, lukey pookie was seen chewing on his mouth guard like LSH and electrical cords 🫶

and finally, i added in a picture of maraschino cherry, because he did good tonight despite being the apparent object of the rags hatred and being targeted! he held his own and even pushed a rags player tonight!

p.s. we scored an empty netter goal as well, getting us a 3-2 win tonight, but the puck flew in on its own for us? who knew that was possible!

tagged jackhughes, curtislazar95, tofff73, kevinbahl88, akiraschmid93, jesperbratt, lhughes_06, and john.marino97

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jackhughes i live in constant fear of your camera

y/ndevils00 oh shush, you love my camera

jackhughes no, i love YOU. i put up with your camera

y/ndevils00 aw shucks, you love me 🥰

jackhughes dear god please don’t ever say “aw shucks” again

y/ndevils00 ya know, i’m not really feeling the love here

jackhughes never intended for you to

user29 marino: 😗 y/n: 📸

john.marino97 did i just get… outright praise from you?! i thought i knew what it felt like to win, but i never REALLY did until now

y/ndevils00 don’t get used to it. i pitied you and best friend number 1 didn’t play tonight

john.marino97 i’m gonna ignore that

jackhughes for the last time: I’M WATCHING PLAYS! NOT COCOMELON!

y/ndevils00 say what you want but i know your youtube history

kevinbahl88 i was trying so hard to ignore you

y/ndevils00 you can’t ignore me forever, soccer bahl! i always get to the players eventually!

kevinbahl88 you scare me

y/ndevils00 you’re like 10 feet tall, how do EYE scare YOU? you could squash me like a spider

kevinbahl88 or i could not be watching and trip over you and break my neck

y/ndevils00 this feels like an attack on MY height now… @/colecaufield how do you deal with this?

colecaufield now hold on… wtf

akiraschmid93 i do have a y/n sense, i acquired it over the playoffs

y/ndevils00 that scares me

akiraschmid93 i’m always watching

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes TELL HIM TO STOP

jackhughes how does it feel, dove?

y/ndevils00 i- LSH and i are moving in with john

john.marino97 no, you’re not! i can’t have you there to cockblock when i’m trying to hook up

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 this is why dawson is best friend number 1

lhughes_06 did you just compare me to your cat with an apparent death wish?

y/ndevils00 be nice to Lil’ Satan! she may not be smart, but where she lacks brain cells, she makes up for in cuddles! kinda like your brother!

jackhughes all i do is love you and this is the thanks i get?

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes you get other kinds of thanks too! but you said i can’t speak of that on here anymore

lhughes_06 god please don’t. i see all your posts.

user18 y/n is out here acquiring uncles like i acquire new nhl crushes

tofff73 did you just nickname me truffle? and call me your uncle?

y/ndevils00 welcome to the devils!

tofff73 thanks? i think?

nicohischier you get used to her, she’s an acquired taste… but you have no choice but to acquire it

curtislazar95 you are my favorite niece

y/ndevils00 🥹 and you are my favorite uncle, lizard man 🫶

curtislazar95 🦎💚

jesperbratt hey! that’s me!

y/ndevils00 that’s you!! you look at you all smiley and scoring a goal! i’ll break lindy’s kneecaps for you… i don’t think it would be that hard. he’s old.

nicohischier y/n, i’m BEGGING you to stop dissing our coach. you’re gonna lose your job!

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier nah, lindy thinks i’m funny

jackhughes @/nicohischier i wish she was joking but i’m pretty sure he called her his honorary daughter last sunday after she said she would be in his walls if she couldn’t go to Montreal and see Cole

dawson1417 i feel left out. i don’t like not playing!

y/ndevils00 so get your skates on and play! what lindy gonna do? tell you no?

dawson1417 uh yeah?

y/ndevils00 oh- well leave that up to me then

dawson1417 what are you gonna do…

y/ndevils00 shhh don’t worry about it

trevorzegras i’m so glad i’m not a devil and don’t have to be subjected to these posts

y/ndevils00 you’re unemployed, you should probably be worrying about bigger things right now before i have to see you as a thirst trap tiktoker

user72 the return of jack the ipad kid!!

[tartsinarat]

Here’s the boi in his 10000/10 human cosplay

fun fact at some point he had cut his hair because it became too long and hard to deal with but ended up giving himself the worst hair cut ever and decided he liked it despite everyone being like “are you sure you don’t want it slightly more even?” When I did the drawing of him in his cursed form I did it with this hair cut in mind

Originally when walking around the human realm Pip would hide his scars/eye colour by either covering them up or with illusion magic but he’s gotten to the point has lost every fuck he has to give because people already find him off putting and uncanny anyways.

He also started working at the GHS museum as an assistant curator because he’s interested mostly in finding out wtf was the deal of Caleb, Evelyn and Philip, as well as to find any knowledge he can on the portal door but he also does it because he likes sneaking the money he gets paid into Camila’s purse as a repayment for everything because she didn’t accept it when he tried to give it to her upfront because even though she really appreciated it she didn’t want Pip to feel as if he’s in debt but Pip was too stubborn and just decided to do it the sneaky way, Camila knows this and is playing a 4d chess game where she uses his money to get things she thinks he would buy himself and then gives it to him as presents.

Also Ngl Pip hates his job with a passion because Jacob just assumes that because Pip doesn’t talk much but is somewhat neutral on him that it’s an invitation to start randomly spew out conspiracy theories every time he sees Pip but because Pip honestly doesn’t have enough knowledge on humans and their culture, he doesn’t know that Jacob is crazy so he just puts up with it and is just like “huh neat, the human government is full of extraterrestrial lizards? What a delightful government :)” much to Jacob’s dismay.

But Pip doesn’t really start hating Jacob with a passion until Jacob shows him the video of Vee almost getting dissected and Pip almost losses his shit and has to drag himself away from mauling Jacob because at that point Pip and Vee have bonded enough through their similar backgrounds of being horrific magic experiments as well as just spending time together that Pip already considers them another younger sibling.

The colours he’s wearing in the first ref picture sure look familiar and may or may not be hinting something traumatic that’s going to happen :)

oh wow what's this? an GH au masterpost link?? crazy

[beaumars]

ain't no sunshine - j.seresin

Hi Everyone! Lori here! As I stated in this post, I once attempted to write an OC insert for TGM but I never got around to posting it because life got in the way -- and also because i deleted the tumblr app because i had gotten bored with it. i've had other accounts since then dedicated to other fandoms and when I got bored i would delete the app, a truly vicious never ending cycle. however, my tiny little lizard brain always came back to the Top Gun: Maverick fandom and so I once again redownloaded the app to check out the new content. Over the course of my tumblr career i have used a plethora of emails, i couldnt remember the last one I used for my last account so i tried the ol' reliable that I always used (i use another email now for work and professional purposes) and alas! i find my way back to beaumars, an account i forgot i had.

Back to the post I had linked above, though. When i opened my drafts i saw this fic, my proto-fic if you will, just sitting there and i realized i had no fucking idea where this was going, so for the past couple of days i fiddled with my brain and used a good section of a journal to plot out and world build the new and revamped version of this fic. So without further ado, i present Aint No Sunshine.

Special thanks to @credince--writes for assuring me that an OCs backstory can never be too tragic, @j-hauke for solidifying that dr. pepper is a funny call sign, and @thespillingvoid for encouraging me to post this two year old fic as I work on the newer version.

A multiple-part fic with an OC.

What would have been a multiple part fic with an OC.

***

SOMEWHERE, STATESIDE

"Sanchez! Seresin! Stop flirtin' up there, goddammit!"

Major General Thomas Avery wasn't usually known for sugarcoating shit. His tone of voice and way of flight was powerful and commanding, earning him the call sign 'Zeus', it left no space to play games, especially in the skies he seemed to reign on. Avery may be a patient and understanding man on the ground, but when it came to his domain, no one could escape his wrath. Not even the two aviators currently in the air. Without context, one would think the two were trading coy remarks with one another. They're far from right.

"Seresin, you smug ass! Cover me!"

Their objective: drop the dud on target while avoiding the 'enemy'. For every ten minutes they failed to get tone on one of their fellow aviators, another came into the sky to play. The final boss would be Major General Avery, who preferred hands-on methods when it came to flying with the aviators that passed through his base. So far, no one had even come close to even getting their sights on the older man before being 'shot' down. Seresin and Sanchez were the last pair.

Ego's, bragging rights, and a pink slip to the Major General's 1960 El Camino were on the line.

"You got it twisted if you think you're getting that damn car, Sanchez."

Christina Sanchez would roll her eyes if she wasn't focused on trying to complete their exercise, "I could give two shits about the car, Jake. I'm trying to do my job!"

"Keyword. Trying. You're not doing a very good job at it, Chris." He sassed.

"Keep up the chatter and I'll come up earlier than you want me to," Avery threatened. Promised. Stated. It didn't matter, they were screwed either way.

The sun had begun to set ten minutes ago after the longest-running pair had put up a good fight. Some Air Force pilot whose last name was Torres, and her very own wingman: Olen Reeves, callsign 'Icarus'. Jake and Christina were relentless in the heavens, taking their 'shot' no more than ten seconds after Falcon and Icarus entered their air space. In theory and on paper, Sanchez and Seresin are a great team, but their manners towards each other at the current moment were proving otherwise.

On the ground, he could only pray she didn't physically tear Seresin a new one when they landed.

"C'mon, Chris. Get him out of your head," he whispered.

The last rays of light were escaping the flying duo, both of them cursing their terrible luck, knowing what was to come.

Jake got tone on their last aviator, "Jesus, Chris, we would've been done by now if you'd stop leaning on me."

"You keep leaving me out to dry, shithead!" She retorted, "Maybe if you actually stuck closer and acted like a wingman, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"You need to stop relying on others, sweetheart. What are you gonna do when you're all alone up here with no one to watch your back? What're you gonna do then?"

"Shut up," she chastised.

"Suddenly, I spit some truth and you want me to be quiet?-" Jake was in disbelief, he knew the girl was prideful, but he didn't think he went that far in his critique.

"I said shut up, moron," she said, her breathing getting heavier.

"The hypocrisy is deadly, San-"

"Jake! Shut up!" She panicked, "it's gone quiet."

"Fuck."

"Strike three," was the only warning Zeus gave.

Both let out a string of curses as they barreled to avoid being targeted.

Using the last gleam of light in the evergrowing dark sky, Chris commanded, "Alright, Jake, take a hard left when I say," but as she turned her head to get a look at him, she saw that he had left her side in pursuit of Zeus, "you little shit, did you just leave me hanging!?"

"The only one hanging on is you, Sanchez. Get with the program or get shot."

Thomas Avery hated to admit it, but the Seresin kid was putting up a hell of a fight, and Sanchez was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, it would be his downfall, as the sky went dark, Zeus taunted Jake, "Mistake number one: you left your wingman hanging, Seresin."

"My wingman is currently on the ground. Ain't that right, Falcon?"

On base, Falcon laughed, out of concern and amusement, "Zeus is gonna hand him his ass on a silver platter."

A chorus of 'mhm' and 'damn straight' could be heard in the vicinity.

Nearby, Olen Reeves could only look out the window and try and make out where the three of them were, once again praying, this time for her safety and that of her impromptu wingman.

Seresin was wearing a shit-eating grin until the next words fell from the Major General's mouth, "Mistake number two: you're up here with me now."

Jake went silent, he knew he fucked up, and now he was hoping Chris would come out of radio silence and tell him that she was on her way.

Nothing.

She wasn't even showing up on his radar.

"Why the sudden silence, kid?" Zeus was just playing with Jake's mind at this point, with the younger aviator already in his sights, ready to take the shot.

"Sanchez, I could really use your help right about now!"

Once again, nothing.

"Sanchez! Don't leave me hanging!" Jake could only maneuver so much in a dark sky he wasn't used to. He could hear beeping, letting him know that the experienced man was closing in on his plane. Jake mentally prepared for the call, but it never came.

"Sometimes a chef's gotta try what he's cooking, Seresin," Chris came out into the radar at the last minute and used her flares to temporarily blind Zeus and distract him, giving Jake an escape.

She barrelled and went right under her commanding officer's plane, hiding for a good second before hitting the brakes, using the hard stop; Zeus flew right past her. She sped back up and tailgated the man, being careful as to not end up in his jet wash, it only lasted so long before she and Zeus were engaged in a minor dogfight.

"Seresin, where are you?"

"Trying out the daily special, send my compliments to the chef," he said as he pursued Zeus on his own.

"Damnit, Seresin! Can you be a team player for once?" it seemed that in his presence all she could do was complain and vice versa. So bad together, yet so good, if only they could throw their egos out of the cockpit.

"You're hanging on well, Seresin. Unfortunately, it won't be enough," the beeping was loud, it was a lock, "that's a shot."

"Fucking shit!-"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Zeus toyed, "Fly back to base, kid. It was a good run."

Was.

It was a word that would haunt him for years to come.

"Now, Sanchez. Where could you be hiding?" Thomas asked himself out loud.

It was silent for a good thirty seconds when he felt a force push him towards the right, "There you are."

Zeus went to follow the plane when suddenly, the force came from the right this time, rattling his plane and giving him difficulty locking on her. He didn't know how she was doing that or how fast she was coming at him or even where she was coming at him, but it was starting to unsettle him, dare he say, she was scaring him.

The older man leveled his breathing, taking a minute to recompose himself. Mistake number one.

The beeping came too fast, followed by the lock, and three words, "That's a shot."

Down below, everyone, from crew to pilots alike had their mouths hanging open.

"Holy shit, she did it," Olen breathed.

Another pilot by the name of Carol then shouted, "She got the fucking car!"

The silence then turned into groans of defeat.

Jake sat in his cockpit, having landed minutes beforehand, ripping his helmet off in anger as he heard Chris' announcement.

"Get back to base, kid. That was one hell of a fight you put on."

"Thank you, sir," she acknowledged breathlessly. Chris was riding a high as she landed, the first person to greet her on the tarmac was none other than Olen.

He crushed her in an embrace for a few seconds before pulling back and reprimanding her, "what the hell were you thinking?"

"I- well- I wasn't exactly-"

"Thinking." Finished the Major General, he came up from behind the embracing pilots, "she was doing. Those are the makings of a great pilot, ladies, and gentlemen. You all could learn a little something from that."

Sanchez turned to see that all the other pilots and WSOs had congregated, Jake hanging in the back.

"Seresin," Zeus called out to the man, "You had me on the ropes there for a bit too, young man."

"Let me guess, gotta stop leaving my wingman hanging?" his tone with little to no emotion.

It was late, and Zeus just wanted to go home, so he just stayed silent for a moment before reaching into his flight suit pocket and pulling out a piece of paper, "As promised... Nyx."

Confused, Chris asked, "Sir?"

Zeus just smiled and walked away, "I want everyone back on this tarmac by o six hundred hours, not a minute later," he called over his shoulder.

[coleskingdom]

Control

Jay White x F reader

NSFW

Jay’s ex is sent from the Patriarchy to handle business.

@midwestmade29

The door clicked and I watched her uneasiness under my gaze. “Love” what an ironic term, she knew that wasn’t her name. I walked towards her, she wanted to pretend she was in control of this meeting . She bumped into the sofa “Sit” the word simply a command, one that I knew she’d comply with, she was always so obedient. “ What brings you here? Truly, because I already saw the old man, the twink and the lizard around the corner. They don’t trust you, the question is do I trust you .” I haven’t sat down I like the feeling of towering over her the way her head tilts up at me. My eyes lingered over her, still pretty but now in a pathetic bratty way.

“Stay out of their business.” Her voice contained no confidence, her nerves of being alone with me showing. “ You made a stupid move choosing a father over your Daddy.

Oh, Sweetheart you went to the immediate threat, you missed the long threat by a mile. You had a choice when we parted, you chose unwisely. You’ve never seen the big picture, that’s why you needed me to think for you. Since you made your choice I can tell you what you missed. The patriarchy was/ is an extension of the Elite. “ slow recognition crossing her face “ Had you been the clever girl I thought I had thought you to be you would’ve aligned yourself with them. Jack is handsome enough, Okada exotic enough, Nick passionate enough and Matt well Matt is powerful enough and you always had a thing for leaders didn’t you. “ I squatted down in front of her caressing her cheek, “You can’t make that move now because they wouldn’t trust you, you’d look foolish and like a dumb slut.” my thumb running over her bottom lip. “Unless you want to double cross the Patriarchy, I could help you look brilliant. I could help make you powerful in front of the camera and all you have to be is mine.” I stood as her breath caught.

“Yours? That’s it, you can get me out of this. It can be like before.” her voice questioning my intention. The thing was I wasn’t sure why she ended it, I thought we were happy solid even. “Sweet girl , you’re the one who ended things remember?” even as soft as my voice was, she put her head in her hands, and whispered “ I thought you’d chase after me. I thought that you would beg for me to come back. I thought that you would fight for me. I never wanted to leave you it was stupid and foolish.”

I sat down beside her, “So that’s a yes then?” I opened my arms to her and she leaned into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. My sweet girl was back. “Stay with me tonight?” I whisper in her hair. I hear a muffled yes.

She leaves my locker room yelling at me about Patriarchy business and I laugh about a woman running the patriarchy. I gave her my room key and we left separately, as to not raise suspicions.

I was surprised to find her there waiting for me a look of determined desire on her face . Standing only in my favorite lingerie her hair up curls framing her face, her lips the prettiest shade of gloss. “ Sweet girl” my words cut off when she kissed me,her fight for control was cute but I wanted to see where she wanted this to go. She pressed me against the door her hands reaching for the hem of my shirt, I raised my arms helping her. “I’ve missed you, Jay.” Her lips trailing down my body, as her lips wrapped around my nipple pulling it into her mouth. “Sweetheart, you’re playing a dangerous game.” my voice fighting for control as a moan fell from my lips as. I watched her drop to her knees in front of me. Her mouth kissed down my abs as she reached for the waistband of my pants biting the last muscle before soothing it with her tongue. “Fuck, just remember I’m going to pay you back sweetheart.” The look from under her lashes was enough to undo me. Her hands pushed down my pants and boxers as my cock sprang free as she licked her lips. She kissed the tip before sliding her tongue along my shaft taking me in deep then pulling out slowly. Her tongue teasing every inch. She grasped the base of my shaft then took me a little farther into her mouth, dragging her tongue along the ridges as she drew me out slowly. She took my full length into her mouth, and my knees almost buckled. She let her tongue do incredible, magical things along my shaft as she drew me in and out a little faster this time. "Please..." I managed, she had me back in her mouth before l'd finished saying the word, easing me in and out of her mouth in a delicious rhythm. I felt the waves building inside me. “Sweetheart, I’m going to come in that pretty little mouth. If you don’t stop.” She hollowed her cheeks as she nodded. My fingers in her hair, my control snapping, as I set the pace. Her mascara started to smudge as she moaned around me . “That’s it, my dirty girl taking me so deep. Fuck I’ve missed your mouth. Nobody has ever sucked my cock the way you do. So enthusiastic, loving every inch. Always taking everything I give you. “ my release coming hard and fast as I felt her swallow as she continued to work me through my release. For the first time in a longtime my knees damn near buckled the door supporting me as she sat back on her knees .

I took a moment to admire her perfect breasts, the gentle swell of her hips, and her strong legs. I offered my hand before turning her so that her back was against the door. The shocked little gasp that fell from her lips as my girl felt my fingers good through her core. “There’s something undeniably sexy about these panties the way they leave you bare to me so I can do this” my fingers teasing her clit. “ Did sucking my cock get you this wet? “ positioning her leg around my hip opening her to me, my cock teasing her entrance. “ Or did my dirty girl like reversing the roles my body quivering under your touch. “ I slid my cock through her wetness as she moaned. “If that’s it then show me how you want to fuck me. Come on it’s in your eyes. I’ll play this game of yours even if it kills me. Just remember when the sun rises in the morning you’re mine.” She moans at the loss of contact as she walks me back to the club chair in the living room of the suite. “Jay, sit” her voice soft and firm. I sat eyeing her , knowing the encouragement that she needed. “ Stop thinking and act. There’s nothing I would ever deny you.” as she straddled my hips her hand reaching to guide me to the sweetest exquisite torture as she took me in to her, the moan that fell from her lips when I touched the deepest part of her nearly lose it. She put my hands on her hips , as she undid the delicate ribbon that opened her breasts to me. Her hands in my hair as she began to move and lowered my mouth to one of her hard buds. My mouth met the pace that she set, sucking and pulling my mouth mimicking the motions of her cunt as she squeezed and milked me. “Jay, you’re everything. Fuck, please. Jay please.” my hands itching to move knowing what she needed but not moving until she moved them for me. “Jay please” her whimper nearly breaking my resolve, I could fuck her, I could stand up with her take her to the bed and drive deep into her, never missing a beat but she needed this. She gripped my wrist as she moved my hand to her clit, and raising my head from her breast as she looked me in the eye her eyes blown dark with lust. Before kissing me, I felt her legs tighten and she began rocking harder and faster against me. She was using me and I had never felt more powerful in my life. “That’s it fuck me, fuck me like you mean it. Show me, how you dominate me.” Her moans louder now. “Show me how no body could ever fuck me the way you can . That I was a fool for not chasing you. That’s it sweetheart. “ her building climax making her pull me in closer to her as she buried herself in my neck. “ Jay , fuck Jay please Jay” as my fingers moved faster as she bounced on me before shattering her release racking her body as I felt it on my thighs. She went from impossibly wet to me sliding in and out her deep and fast I moved my hands to her hips and began fucking up into her at a wild pace nothing between us had ever been hotter. She held on to me as I felt my cock twitch inside of her. Though her second orgasm was right there. “I want to cum so badly. Fill you up soon full. This is all for you sweet girl. My release is yours.” I’d never given this level of control over to a woman. She repositioned her self looking down at me as she whispered “come for me Jay” and with that my release was hers hard and deep that her second orgasm came in a cry of pleasure. She coaxed me through my release, my head buried in her chest as she held me there, allowing her to take care of me. When our breathing returned to normal, I picked her up and placed her on the bed, before getting the warm washcloth, as I walked back in easing her legs apart her sleepy sated voice whispered “mine”.

[respectthepetty]

Get To Know Me Tag

thanks for tagging me @telomeke and @dylogpenchester

Do you make your bed?

Yes, so my ass doesn't hop back into it!

What’s your favorite number?

3-6-9, and I blame Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz for that. "TO THE WINDOWS, TO THE WALLS!"

What is your job?

English teacher/instructor/professor, so I beat my ancestors' oppressors at their own game!

If you could go back to school, would you?

Lifelong learner, so I've never left school. Collecting these diplomas like Mariah Carey collects number one singles (with ease and unbothered).

Can you parallel park?

Yes. One-handed. While the other hand holds my cell phone, my tea, and the snack I'm munching on.

A job you had that would surprise people?

As a long-time vegetarian, it would surprise people that my first job was selling meat. Had no idea what any of it tasted like, but I could sell it and make gross men feel uncomfortable while doing it.

Do you think aliens are real?

I went to the UFO Festival during the 75th anniversary of the Roswell incident. What do you think?

Can you drive a manual car?

Do I know how to operate a stick? Only because I like saying it that way.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I do not feel guilty about my pleasure.

Tattoos?

Heavens no! I'm afraid of needles. My ears aren't even pierced. But I love to admire them.

Favorite color?

YELLOW!

Favorite type of music?

I love all types of music (pop, country, electronic, rap, reggaeton, norteño, y todo), but I'm hella mad at how brief songs are today because I need four more minutes of GloRilla and Megan Thee Stallion saying "I don't wanna be saved, don't save me [. . .] You ain't my daddy. I'm not your baby"

Do you like puzzles?

Like trying to figure out where some people get the fucking audacity? Or who the fuck they think they're talking to? Yes. My favorite kinds of puzzles.

Any phobias?

It used to be the dark, but I embraced the darkness (aka I went to therapy)

Favorite childhood sport?

Playing? Softball (fast-pitched, not so much). Watching? Soccer.

Do you talk to yourself?

Who else would I talk to? God? Los santos? My ancestors? They don't need this smoke.

What movies do you adore?

Clueless, Pan's Labyrinth, Stardust, Esteros, A Walk in the Clouds, Wildhood, Another Gay Movie, The Best Man for this scene alone

Coffee or tea?

Tea. Coffee is burnt beans and taste like the ashes of Mother Nature. I wrote what I wrote.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Ms. Frizzle because her outfits were on theme, she understood the assignment, and she was never caught slacking. She is unmarried, has a Ph.D, an Ed.D, works in education teaching S.T.E.M., and has a pet lizard. I don't just want to be her; I want to be with her.

[iceman-maverick]

Huddling for warmth + "I really think you should re-evaluate your priorities."

“I really think you should re-evaluate your priorities,” Ice says, twirling the phone cord as he waits for the tone to go through. 

He’s a vision in his briefs, sprawled out all sunkissed across Maverick’s baby blue sheets. The sun is just beginning to set, casting the room in a light orange glow- a picture perfect ending to a deliciously relaxing day by the pool. Mav was drawn to this rental mostly because of the price and proximity to Carol's house - the pool was just a bonus that left Ice hellbent on getting as much return on investment as their instructor schedules would permit.

Maverick tries not to think so hard about how sweetly the sheets bring out the color in Ice’s eyes. Tries to forget Carol's gleeful teasing from back when he bought the damn things on a Target run.

Seriously Pete? She had squealed, Look at the tag! They're called Pradise Ice for Heaven's sake.

He pushes her laughter from his mind - or at least he tries to.But then Ice rolls his shoulder, stretches like a sunbathing cat and exposes his neck for all the world to see. Peppered along the tanned skin is a constellation of angry red and purple bite marks, evidence of a night well spent.

Maverick smirks and turns to open his drawers. He’s drenched to the bone, shirt clinging uncomfortably to his chest and making all sorts of strange and off putting squishing sounds as Maverick tries to wrestle himself free. He nearly loses his footing and doesn't even wait for the cackling to start before he raises a middle finger up to Ice who is far too pleased about Maverick's spectacle. 

“I couldn’t let it die,” Maverick whines, putting as much elbow grease into peeling his jeans off as his still aching back is willing to allow. 

A night well spent, indeed. 

“Mother nature can be cruel,” Ice drones. Even with his back turned, Maverick can hear the frown in his voice. The line’s engaged, Mav figures, just as he hears the testy click of Ice dropping the phone back to the receiver. “We’re going to starve because you had to go all Baywatch on a frog,” 

"It was a nice frog," Mav shrugs, tossing his wet clothes to the side of the room and happily ignoring Ice's pointed frown.

Mav forgoes fresh clothes and instead opts to crawl up the bed and flop down squarely across Ice’s chest. He brings his arms up to wrap around Ice’s shoulders, basking in his radiating body heat. Maverick swears that Ice is some sort of lizard what with his uncanny ability to soak up the sun. Ice always tends to run hot - the irony is not lost on either of them - and Maverick is more than happy to help himself to his wingman’s warm embrace. 

“Baywatch, huh?” Mav smiles into Ice’s neck, trailing his fingers lightly along the trail of hickies. He pokes at a particularly angry mark and delights in Ice’s squirming. “Didn’t peg you for a Hasselhoff kinda guy,” 

“Oh shut up,” Ice pushes away Mav’s proding fingers, and then starts to buck until Mav slides off besides him. Mav makes a noise not unlike a dying animal before flailing his arms back towards Ice.

“Oof- Mav let go, it’s fucking hot,” 

“Yeah, well I’m fucking cold,”

Mav successfully gets an arm back around Ice’s shoulder and uses it to propel himself back into the warm cocoon of Ice’s chest. Ice begins to worm his way out again but then Mav quickly shoves a thigh firmly between Ice’s legs and well, looky here, doesn’t that do that trick nicely?

“Now, are you going to help or am I stuck warming myself up all by myself?” Mav says, leaving a fresh trail of kisses along a suddenly much more cooperative Ice.

---

I was going to go in a completely angsty direction with this prompt - I'm talking chemo angsty - but then I opened up pinterest and the monstrosity above was suddenly thrusted upon me. Val Kilmer's body is obsecene, I want to feed him grapes and fawn him with various large leaves.

We're playing an IceMav askbox fic game. Send me a trope and a first sentence and I'll write at least one paragraph!

[cheesecakeislazy]

More BEN headcanons because fuck my life

1. He loves milk boba tea (extra sugar and caffeine)

2. He references vines and memes all the time

3. Due to being made out of supernatural techno bullshit- his voice can perfectly replicate anything. He uses this power only for memes.

4. BEN actually likes board games- but he doesn’t play them often because everyone destroys them

5. BEN is insanely good at hacking so everyone always calls him a cheater when he beats them.

6. He never cheats in video games, he believes in hard work and dedication and training

7. BEN loves all video games he doesn’t discriminate :D

8. He lowkey loves Fnaf world the most out of every Fnaf game

9. He speed runs in his past times (no he isn’t competitive he just thinks it’s fun)

10. He never removes funko pops out of the box. They stay in the box on the shelf.

11. His room has posters all over the walls for every fandom he loves (there are 3 Hatsune Miku ones)

12. BEN fucking loves vocaloids

13. He cosplays

14. His teeth are extra sharp for no reason

15. His favorite Pokémon is Mimikyu

16. He knows the Vaporeon copypasta by heart (did you know that in terms of-)

17. He’s played every single Pokémon game (including the spin offs)

18. Anime hoodies. That’s the headcanon.

19. He chews bubblegum pretty often- he likes watermelon

20. He likes cats, his FYP is filled with cats

21. He thinks reptiles are cool as shit and wants a lizard

22. He has body pillows in his room. He doesn’t use them for anything. They just sit there as decor.

23. He likes to make brownies at 4 am. It’s 50/50 if they’re weed brownies. It’s also 50/50 if they come out perfect or burnt

24. Ben is fully aware of his fangirls and is lowkey jealous than Toby and Jeff have more than him

25. He has like 5 whole Nintendo switches

26. He still plays animal crossing his favorite villagers are Sasha and Stitches

27. He likes to paint his nails and usually lets Sally do it for him and then fixes up any mistakes she makes afterwards.

28. He loves trolling everybody in the mansion. Pranks are a daily guarantee

29. He has a sword and shield that he can summon whenever he wants- he just normally doesn’t because he thinks stabbing people is overrated

30. He’s so lazy that 85% of the time he’s hovering 2 inches above ground instead of walking

31. He never does his chores unless someone actually manages to threaten him

32. Ben rarely ever feels threatened, you can’t die twice

33. Ben is immortal. He tried killing himself (not suicidal) a few times just to see what happens. Turns out he’s fire proof

34. He usually has tea party duty with Sally and Jeff. Ben wears the pink tutu and an overabundance of hot pink makeup done by Sally

35. One time Slender turned the Wi-fi off to see what happened, BEN screeched in high pitched sound waves that would pierce your ears until Slender turned it back on

36. That happens whenever BeN has a temper tantrum, don’t worry- it’s rare. Just don’t eat his brownies unless you made sure he has enough to eat later

[brainicusrotticus]

after killing noctilucent’s body to save vace, sol is an absolute nuisance to the night guards of the colony.

exhibit 1: sleeping in the communal barracks after nightmares because it’s comforting

person guarding the garrison tries not to freak out when the doc is walking with intent toward the barracks

(because the DOCTOR being that fucking focused going anywhere? usually not good)

“yo, doc, need help?”

for a second sol looks to walk straight past and in, not even acknowledging them

and then stops.

and backs up a step.

and bobs a finger in their direction.

(and doesn’t look up.)

“…you on watch until breakfast?”

“uh… yeah? er, yes sir.”

(he finally looks up.)

(oh. he looks like shit.)

“i’m sleeping in your bunk. if i’m still there when you’re done, just throw something at me.”

and he goes right in without another word.

and he is still there when they get off watch.

but they’re not going to wake the doc, are you nuts? vace would kill them.

as they’re standing awkwardly beside the bunk, a roll of socks nails sol in the head from across the room

(it was nem)

sol crawls, grumbling, like a goddamn lizard out of the bunk, across the floor, and into the one immediately adjacent while its occupant is still sitting on it, putting on boots

occasionally including bed sharing with nem or vace

nem is game, always

willing to play big spoon and envelope sol as much as he needs

not super jumpy, so sol can literally crawl right into her bed without waking the whole barracks

(she prefers a slight heads up, though, which is fair)

once forgot to tell sol she’d swapped bunks with someone else

the next morning, sol makes certain to reassure his accidental victim that screaming is a perfectly good fear response

no, it doesn’t matter if it was really high-pitched and woke everyone up

if it had been a real threat that would be the ideal outcome anyway

vace is… not the cuddling type.

especially not so soon in his getting better arc.

but sol knows that and does not actually crawl into his bed

because he’s a fucking gremlin, he crawls under it.

vace does not realize he has a monster under the bed until the fourth time it happens.

(condolences to the poor bastards who watch the doctor casually scoot out from under a bed the next morning and are immediately sworn to silence on it)

because sol has another nightmare and jolts awake.

right into the underside of vace’s bed.

sol is cussing and bleeding, vace is awake and foaming at the mouth and has pulled a plaspistol, everyone else has just learned that vace keeps a plaspistol under his pillow, it’s a whole mess

exhibit b: unauthorized night walks

sol straight up tries to leave in the middle of the night like it’s no biggies.

woe upon the poor soldier who had to try and figure out what to do with that one.

“sorry, doc, we’re locked up for the night.”

“how much to get through?”

blink. blink.

“…did you just offer to bribe me?”

ding. 200 credits received from: solaniac.

“that enough to ignore any screaming you hear for the next two hours?”

“…have a nice walk, doc.”

(two hours later, she’s very certain 200 credits is not enough to make up for those screams.)

(next time, she’s charging fucking double.)

exhibit three: sol just hanging out on the walls in the middle of the night

literally just climbs straight up and finds somewhere to sit.

intentionally waits for a gap because he just doesn’t want to answer questions right now.

almost gets shot by a very startled soldier.

rhett has to make sol promise to tell soldiers if he’s going on the wall. it’s a safety issue.

(he has to make him promise three times. the third time is a full sit-down, “if you do this again i’m going to have to assume you’re hoping to get shot and report it to instance and congruence” talk, before sol finally actually listens.)

he’ll just chill in one of the lookout towers, silent. staring off into the wilderness.

sometimes he looks particularly haunted about it, and the soldiers have to shake the urge to talk to him.

(one time, a soldier notices he’s not just looking haunted, he’s physically shaking. when sol doesn’t respond to questions, they send someone to get vace.)

(vace holds sol’s hand in his metal one until sol comes back to himself, and sits with sol until sunrise.)

one time, a soldier switched lookouts at midnight and forgot to tell his replacement that sol was there.

she didn’t notice for hours. sol didn’t realize she didn’t know.

she was scared shitless when sol coughed. sol was scared shitless when she pulled a gun on him. rhett filled a tub with water, dunked his whole head inside, and screamed for a full minute.