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I. Am. In. LOVE.
Now that you know it, have a nice day dearie :)
#bsd#bsd fukuzawa#bungo stray dogs fukuzawa#fukuzawa yukichi#bungou stray dogs#I AM IN LOVE#He deserves better#yukichi fukuzawa#armed detective agency#overworked baby#my man fr#merely my second post#Spotify
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I am going to pop this fucking thing
Ignore the sheer length of Gideons arms I forgot how to draw
Why are they stupid
#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#coalecroux#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#theyre so easy to draw simple style#and then you try to draw Kremys fuckass mouth normally and you have to start doing like geometry and shit#drawing on a balloon is harder than i thought it would be#I just noticed like 200 quadrillion mistakes I made mere seconds after posting this my bad
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BRB thinking thoughts about Taigen's character, the TaiMizu ship, and a big chunk of fandom's perceptions regarding both those things.
(Inspired by @farintonorth's post related to this topic that just got my brain going brrrrr)
OK so let me just... start off by saying that I think that reducing stories to their tropes is seriously detrimental to the way some people are interacting with fiction, and while that honestly warrants its own post about the subject, I wanna talk specifically about how this affects the way some people in the fandom talk about Taigen and TaiMizu.
Because yeah, tropes are useful shorthand to refer to certain dynamics or archetypes etc, and they are indeed the building blocks to any story. But in a well-written story, characters and their relationships, actions, and motivations, are much more complex than just tropes. Because in a story that has characters who are more than just cardboard cutouts, their behaviours, backgrounds, motivations and all of that, are inseparable from the context of the overall story they exist in.
So like, sure, you can say Mizu and Taigen have an enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers dynamic. I also use those terms because it's easier. But I also think this is where things start to get a bit twisted, especially from an intertextual sense. Because "enemies-to-lovers" is also commonly used to refer to other ships in other media, whereby it tends to be rooted in an imbalanced power dynamic, such as oppressor-oppressed and bully-victim.
And while that's a whole can of worms that I won't be getting into because it can quickly derail into a whole separate sort of fandom discourse, I'd just like to make it clear that Mizu and Taigen, in particular, do not have an imbalanced power dynamic. They are not bully-victim or oppressor-oppressed. The only understandable reason why someone might actually think their relationship is imbalanced is if
A) they only watched the first episode, or
B) they cannot grasp the slightest bit of nuance in a character, or
C) they're being obtuse on purpose simply because the Mizu/Taigen relationship, or Taigen's character in general, just doesn't suit their tastes.
While yes, Taigen, along with his whole gang, had bullied Mizu when they were children, that dynamic does not exist between them whatsoever in adulthood. Whatever imbalanced bully-victim power dynamic that had once existed between them was decisively ripped apart the moment Mizu beat him in that duel in the dojo, and then completely obliterated by the end of the season.
Mizu is not a defenseless victim at Taigen's mercy. Mizu can beat Taigen's ass any time she wants (and she DOES, repeatedly in fact), and could even kill him if she felt like it. She taunts him openly and without fear ("I like your hair"; "I can beat you with any weapon you choose") and all he does is bark back, because that's pretty much all Taigen ever does. Time and time again, he yaps about how much he wants to kill her, but time and time again, his actions prove that all of it is just an empty threat. Because though his words say "I hate you", his actions demonstrate the complete opposite. He's shown how protective he is of Mizu, how unhesitatingly he sacrifices himself up for her, how loyal he is in enduring days-long torture to not give up information about her, how even when near-death and in pain, he's still willing to keep standing back up so he can fight by her side and help her win against her enemies.
And Mizu is not an idiot! She sees that too. She does not see him as a threat, an enemy, or even a bully. Especially not by the end of Episode 3, and definitely not by the end of the season. When she finds him in the dungeon in Episode 6, she smiles from relief, and doesn't think twice to take him with her. Mizu finds him, at best, an annoyance, or at worst, an infuriating hindrance on her quest for vengeance. Which is why, when Taigen is about to say, "It's a shame our duel's set for tomorrow; I have to kill you before you get your revenge," Mizu whacks him on the head without a second thought before he can even finish his sentence, and leaves him lying unconscious, face-down, in the snow.
And this further emphasises how he does not hold any power over her. There is no abusive power dynamic between them. She is more powerful than him, he knows this, and all he's ever done after they've met up again in adulthood is get his ass whooped by her, get mad about it and pester her and follow her around, get his ass whooped by her some more, and put his life on the line to protect her.
"OOoooOOoooH b-but he called her a demon at the end of Episode 7 and threatened to kill her again!!!" Oh my god. He called her that because he's calling her out on her selfishness to stay silent about her knowledge of Fowler's plans to attack Edo. Because to him, loyalty and honour as a samurai is more important than anything. So in his own brash-and-immature Taigen way, he felt betrayed that Mizu did not hold the same principles. That's why he got angry. He wasn't even that mad about letting Akemi get dragged off by the Tokunobu guards. It was about saving the Shogun and the Shogunate as a whole. That's why the first thing he does in Edo is not find Akemi, but try to warn the Shogun about Fowler's attack.
Look, I'm not defending his stupid ass, of course. Because calling her a demon especially after their cute little wrestling time was obviously rude and inappropriate, especially since words like "demon", "monster" and "Onryo" have had such a deep effect on Mizu throughout her life, and continue to contribute to her self-hatred. But like? That's the fun of realistic and flawed characters, and realistic and flawed relationships. They're not perfect, and it's why we as an audience root for them, wanting to see them work through their shit and find a way to prevail despite it all.
Also, him saying that was in the heat of the moment. He was angry, he felt like his initial belief of who Mizu was—a strong and loyal samurai, just like him—was shattered, and so he lashed out. Was it rude? Definitely. Was it immature of him? Yes, incredibly. But it's also very much in line with his character, because even though he's grown a lot over the course of the season, the show isn't over yet, so obviously his character arc is just beginning, as that is also the case for the other three main characters: Mizu is beginning to accept herself, Akemi is beginning to grow into her position of power, Ringo beginning to train under Master Eiji, while Taigen is beginning to simply be a better person.
On that note, when speaking of Taigen's immaturity, I think that's also one of the main things that people tend to gloss over when it comes to his character. Because when you boil everything down to its bare essentials, Taigen is, essentially, a boy. I've talked about this before, but to reiterate, Taigen very much behaves like an unhealed child. Even as an adult, he is insecure, prone to throwing tantrums, and is desperate to latch onto some material goal in hopes that it will make him feel better—initially he was chasing status/glory/greatness, and then when Mizu tells him that "Nothing comes from being a samurai but death," he immediately decides he wants to run away with Akemi in hopes that he will be happy.
And it's a big step, acknowledging that he doesn't truly want greatness, but had always just assumed it was his only path to a good life. But it's clear he still hasn't really figured it out. Because if he did run off with Akemi to get married and live in the countryside, he still wouldn't be happy. Because he still doesn't know who he really is, or what it is he really wants. Marriage at this moment is the last thing he needs, and as he is now, he would be a pretty awful husband. A simple life would be good for him, but would he be good at a simple life, when he still has so much he needs to work through?
So anyway, what I'm getting at here, is that he's trying and he is learning and growing. So yeah, he is flawed, but honestly? So is Mizu. And the funny thing is that they're flawed in very similar ways.
Because Mizu is also an unhealed child. That's why she's so angry all the time. That's why she pushes people away. That's why she, just like Taigen, is so happy when given the chance to playfully wrestle in the forge, laughing and rolling around like children without shame or pretense.
Again, this shows there is no imbalance between them. They had grown up together as peers from the same town. And while Taigen had had the upper hand back then, because he'd had a gang of other kids with him, that is definitely not the case anymore. Today, they are equally flawed, equally strong, equally skilled swordsmen, and equally bull-headed.
However, yes, Mizu is definitely leagues more mature than Taigen. But she still holds a lot of childhood wounds that mirror Taigen's own. And we see this especially in relation to her mother. Similar to Taigen who had an abusive and alcoholic father, Mizu's Mama was an opium addict and had hit her, berated her, had shaved her head without her consent as a child, and as an adult, had constantly emotionally manipulated and guilt-tripped her. Mizu's love for her Mama was what had driven her to a path of vengeance in the very beginning. And when she'd found out Mama was still alive, she had wanted nothing more than her Mama's love, and it was this alone that pushed her to agree to the marriage with Mikio in the first place. And now, knowing from Fowler that her birth mother is someone else entirely, is what makes her agree to keep him alive and haul his ass to London to seek answers.
Thus, integral to Mizu's self-hatred is also Mizu's intense longing for love and family. Just like Taigen, whose pompousness comes from his insecurity about being the son of a poor fisherman, Mizu's goals are also shaped by who her parents are. Remember, her vengeance is not against just anyone who's corrupt or evil, but specifically against the men who she believes had assaulted her mother, the men she believes had made her a monster, the men she believes had abandoned her to die and continue to try to kill her. Her vengeance is against a father, on behalf of a mother. In The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride, Mizu is not merely the Ronin, the Bride, or the Onryo, but also the Child.
This is also why Ringo is so good, not only for Mizu, but for Taigen as well. Ringo is wise and caring and considerate, but above all, he is in tune with his inner child in ways that Mizu and Taigen are not. He is always earnest and positive, he sees the world with childlike wonder, but is not naive or blind to its ugliness. His whole life has been a battle. Ringo brings out the best in Mizu, consistently acting as her moral compass and conscience, and Mizu's choice to save Akemi in the final episode is only because she promised Ringo that she would. Because it's the right thing to do. Ringo inspires her to be a better person, and to think outside of her narrow-minded goal of revenge. At the same time, Ringo also brings out the best in Taigen. While at first Taigen had looked down on both Mizu and Ringo ("Half-limb to a half-wit"), by the end of the season, he's proud to have Ringo as a friend and ally, he listens to Ringo's advice ("What would Master do?"), and asserts to the fucking Shogun that Ringo is a worthy warrior to have by his side.
Okay, I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, but my main point is that Mizu and Taigen are incredibly similar. They are equals. They are both flawed, unhealed children who are chasing some impossible outlandish goal in hopes that it will fill the void in their hearts. They also both have a long way to go in terms of character development if they were to ever build a healthy romantic relationship (either with each other, or even with anyone else). So while I believe things will be rocky (because duh, it's a story, we all live for the drama, etc), I think with Ringo's help, they'll get there eventually.
#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#taigen blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#meta dissertations.pdf#im not a taigen defender. but i AM a taimizu truther#wank.mp3#sorta#fandom.rtf#shut up haydar#like i KNOW we all love mizu and want her for ourselves but cmon. let's be real here for a second.#ahem. hear ye! put down the delulu for a mere moment!#and ask thyself. why am i beefing with this pathetic bald man? a man who is the definition of a wet rat?#thus. my brother in nerd ass shit. i beg thee put down thy weapon. this man is not worth beefing with! he is literally... just some guy.#yes...he is bitchy. however! he is also a loser obsessed with mizu. remember this. he is not thine enemy. but simply...one of us.#also lmao like jokes aside lemme be clear. you ARE ALLOWED to hate taigen and taimizu all you like!!!! feel free to do so!!!!#but please just acknowledge it's like. a preference thing. like it's just not your cup of tea! thats A-OK!#but please dont insist that the ship is toxic unhealthy abusive etc#but if you still feel the need to do so. then for the love of god just tag your posts as anti-[insert whatever here] so it helps ppl mute#i knew how to tag shit as anti-makorra since i was fourteen! 😭 like it's basic courtesy cmon
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Honestly I think crocodile/dragon and crocodile/Doflamingo are only interesting when treated as failed relationships spinning off into increasingly petty grudges and instigations. Become a warlord to piss off one ex by working with his hated father only for the OTHER ex to ALSO become a warlord to drive you insane. Etc.
I am now going to take his as an opportunity to rant about Dragodile because I unironically think it's an interesting ship if Crocodad Real and I don't think I'm ever going to find a better excuse to rant about it unprompted lmao SO HERE WE GO
But yes like. Dragodile is so fucking interesting to me
A marine and a pirate falling in love with each other is already some starcrossed lovers kinda BS. But then it's like, a FORMER marine and pirate who is WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT. That's EXTRA JUICY, it adds layers to the starcrossed lovers shit, and I am not immune to it, it's FACINATING, like what was the dynamic here
But also we don't even know when Dragon left the marines and when he and Crocodile first met, so for all we know it could've been some real enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies shit AND THAT'S SO INTERESTING
(Also the mere concept that Dragon could've been chasing Crocodile around kinda like Smoker tried to chase Luffy, only for Crocodile to become a Shichibukai and Dragon having to give up because they're on the same side now (kinda). Like. That is so fucking funny. And then he leaves the Marines to start a revolution. Or just out of spite dshgjdgs)
Then there's the absolutely hysterical part where Crocodile is the meanest, most intimidating, standoff-ish asshole around. So the idea Dragon was fucking into that is INCREDIBLE. THIS MAN LIKES BEING BULLIED DFSHFKGHFGJHDS (It's possible Young Croc might've been less mean but it's funnier if he wasn't)
And yeah. Somehow. In complete secret. A romance blooms.
And then there's a baby.
And Crocodile transes his gender.
And there's a divorce.
And 17 years later Crocodile has commited dozens of unforgivable warcrimes that are almost exactly the kind of things Dragon wanted to stop the government from doing to begin with.
Mind you, I don't actually think there's coming back from that, this relationship was burned to the ground and the ashes blown away by wind, there is nothing left
But could you imagine if despite the anger and the hurt and the warcrimes they still somehow loved each other
I would just
#Moon posting#Crocodad#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Dragodile#OP Meta#I keep on mentioning Dragodile Divorce but to be fair we don't even know if they had been married#All we do have is the fact that Crocodile Very Specifically doesn't wear a ring on his ring finger (in the manga)#(First half of Alabasta it's his middle finger but from the second half onwards it's consistently been his ring finger)#And there's that SBS where a person asked if the Shichibukai were gonna remain single etc and if they had any kids#And Oda was like ''hMmM I wOnDeR iF aNy oF tHeM hAvE bEeN mArRiEd... Anyway I imagine their kids would be like this''#And then very very specifically he only did Doflamingo Mihawk and **Crocodile**#So like. If Crocodad Real. The two could've been married briefly (in secret). Probably just engaged in my personal opinion#Also like. Like we all know Iva's Magic HRT is POWERFUL STUFF right#There is something so deeply tragic to me about the just the mental image#Of Crocodile trying to put on his engagement ring post-HRT only to realize it doesn't fit his massive man hand#Like a horrible premonition of how this relationship was going to end#Even if he was the same on the inside he no longer literally fit the mere concept of the woman Dragon had fallen in love with#Can you imagine the series of emotions Crocodile would've gone through realizing that#Or who knows maybe he realized it all much earlier-- when and however the fuck he decided to get HRT from Iva-chan#There is much to be said about One Piece's running theme of loneliness and the loneliness queer people experience#God Oda please I need this man's backstory#I need to know what the fuck happened#I NEED TO KNOW HOW THE DIVORCE HAPPENED#NGL there's a part of me that almost hopes Dragon was Objectively Horrible (in a heated moment that he really regrets)#Just so Crocodile could be at least a little justified in being at resentful towards Dragon#I dunno it would not sit too well with me if the Cishet Man Dragon was 100% In The Right And Never Did Anything Wrong#And then it's the transgender man who does all the morally questionable horrible shit because he's an evil queer#(There's more than plenty of positive queer rep in OP to balance out one (1) evil trans character don't get me wrong)#(But it would be sad if Crocodile was An Evil Queer especially because he's the one who has transitioned)
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Luke @ the Etro Men's Show at Milan Fashion Week
📸: Gian Marco
#😀 what do u expect me to even say at this point 😀#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#luke#milan fashion week 2023#kh4f post#like#i have seen this man with my actual eyes before#been within mere feet#i will never understand how a human can just look Like That#👹 i simply do not believe it 👹#this is one of my fav jackets he's ever worn#the colors are such a dream#i dyed my hair purple again btw#Cass has taken to calling purple my signature color#so this speaks to me#anyways he is just so fucking pretty
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#lhl#lhlmeta#my posts#reached the buddhism chapter in my reread and i'm possessed by lxy/llh thoughts. getting it out of my system and i need to sit on it too#(ding dong it's my time to be pretentious about lhl again :3)#actually what's rly impt to me is how the second layer of truth describes very closely to how i view the state of lxy existing as llh#and the ''epilogue'' ending is not a mere epilogue but a vital part of the story#and equally vital that it's left unspoken where the 'real truth' is reached. and that is the third / final? incarnation of lxy#i am feral every time i remember cfandom invariably interprets llh as someone with 佛性#lxy existing as llh is alr a state of enlightenment yes?
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The rise of "let people enjoy things" is single handedly the backbone of the rise of anti intellectualism
#i need to talk about this#disclaimer : im beyond terrible at putting my point across#so with that being said let me attempt at it#let's take look at the hate and misogyny women receive for liking a certain genre of books#that is so often simply countered with let people enjoy things#but we cannot let that narrative take over a whole as if critical thinking is “bad”?#booktok has made it so that disliking a popular books makes you the person with the superiority complex who should just let people enjoy-#-things#but when did criticizing actively target audiences who like that peice of literature? When did that become the narrative?#its all mindless consumption without a second thought to the actual material which can easily be credited to the tropification of books#the enemies do turn into lovers and the best friends do fall in love 10 years down the line#classifying books into tropes and then fulfilling that promise gives books an illusion of being “good” since it checks those boxes-#-that the reader picked up the book for in the first place#the act of reading has kind of been substituted by the act of being a reader and just owning stacks of books#we have turned away from any form of analysis or criticism#if it scratches the itch then its automatically the perfect book without further thought#i cant help but contribute the mere existence of that “itch” to how mordern books are classified into tropes with set plotlines#intelligenctualism is almost always looked at as elitism#reading only classics doesn't make you an intellectual individual but looking at any book with a critical lens may it be a classic or a rom#-com does#criticizing certain aspects of your absolute favorite books is intellectualism and not bullying people who like anything but classics#that distinction is so far lost in translation that talking about how a popular book is objectively bad is being a “hater”#well then im a hater#this is not a hate post for people who actively enjoy booktock or the more popular books#im just trying to introduce any amount of nuance into the conversation thats all#i can honestly go on forever but i think ill end my ranting here#literary criticism#literature#books#anti intellectualism
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Yk I wasn’t originally planning to talk abt my ao3 account on here but I don’t really gaf anymore. Embarrassment is a concept. Embrace joy and whimsy.
..anyways! If you want to read some of my works my ao3 account is bittersweet_serendipity ^_^ I love to write and am always aiming to improve. I state this a lot in authors notes, but if you ever spot any major weak points or mistakes in my writing, feel free to point them out to me! Constructive criticism helps a ton.
Do be aware that my older works (aka the first 2 I published) are literally filled to the brim w grammar mistakes like it’s actually baffling 😭 we should all collectively ignore those for the sake of my mental sanity actually! <3 I need to go back and edit them but I keep pushing it off ughh…someday.
#some of the works I’ve published I really like and had so much fun writing#and then others I look back on and start curling into a ball out of pure embarrassment#<- person who said embarrassment is a concept mere seconds ago#LMFAOO#I’ve considered deleting my earlier works so many times lmaoo but I figure I might as well just keep them up idk#I literally only have ten works posted idk why I’m acting like there’s a huge crazy amount rn 💀#do keep in mind that I only picked up writing again this year after a huge break#so 😓 ummm. yknow. idk. sorry!!!#HELPPP#YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE ME STARTING TO REGRET THIS AS I TAG#“my older works 👴’’ I literally published them like last April or something 💀💀#all I’ve written for so far is persona#uhmmm should I tag this….#persona#hi takajin fans#and jundori fans#and adajima fans#my ultimate favs I love them all dearly#I’m working on another Strega fic currently…I love writing for them#^_^#writing is so fun and I’m so glad I picked it back up this year <3#ALSO. I’d like to give another huge thank you to everyone who’s ever commented on my fics ever you guys are all so awesome
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Any judgement on (Richard III)’s reign has to be seen as provisional. The critic of the reign only has to consider how the Tudors would now be regarded if Henry VII lost at Stoke, to realize the dangers of too many assumptions about the intractability of Richard’s problems. But it would be equally unrealistic to ignore Richard’s unpopularity altogether. The fact that he generated opposition among men with little material reason for dissent, and that the disaffection then continued to spread among his own associates, says something about what contemporaries regarded as the acceptable parameters of political behaviour. There is no doubt that Richard’s deposition of his nephews was profoundly shocking. To anyone who did not accept the pre-contract story, which was probably the majority of observers, the usurpation was an act of disloyalty. Gloucester, both as uncle and protector, was bound to uphold his nephew’s interests and his failure to do so was dishonourable. Of all medieval depositions, it was the only one which, with whatever justification, could most easily be seen as an act of naked self-aggrandizement.
It was also the first pre-emptive deposition in English history. This raised enormous problems. Deposition was always a last resort, even when it could be justified by the manifest failings of a corrupt or ineffective regime. How could one sanction its use as a first resort, to remove a king who had not only not done [nothing] wrong but had not yet done anything at all?
-Rosemary Horrox, Richard III: A Study of Service
#richard iii#my post#english history#Imo this is what really stands out to me the most about Richard's usurpation#By all accounts and precedents he really shouldn't have had a problem establishing himself as King#He was the de-facto King from the beginning (the king he usurped was done away with and in any case hadn't even ruled);#He was already well-known and respected in the Yorkist establishment (ie: he wasn't an 'outsider' or 'rival' or from another family branch)#and there was no question of 'ins VS outs' in the beginning of his reign because he initially offered to preserve the offices and positions#for almost all his brother's servants and councilors - merely with himself as their King instead#Richard himself doesn't seem to have actually expected any opposition to his rule and he was probably right in this expectation#Generally speaking the nobility and gentry were prepared to accept the de-facto king out of pragmatism and stability if nothing else#You see it pretty clearly in Henry VII's reign and Edward IV's reign (especially his second reign once the king he usurped was finally#done away with and he finally became the de-facto king in his own right)#I'm sure there were people who disliked both Edward and Henry for usurpations but that hardly matters -#their acceptance was pragmatic not personal#That's what makes the level of opposition to Richard so striking and startling#It came from the very people who should have by all accounts accepted his rule however resigned or hateful that acceptance was#But they instead turned decisively against him and were so opposed to his rule that they were prepared to support an exiled and obscure*#Lancastrian claimant who could offer them no manifest advantage rather than give up opposition when they believed the Princes were dead#It's like Horrox says -#The real question isn't why Richard lost at Bosworth; its why Richard had to face an army at all - an army that was *Yorkist* in motivation#He divided his own dynasty and that is THE defining aspect of his usurpation and his reign. Discussions on him are worthless without it#It really puts a question on what would have happened had he won Bosworth. I think he had a decent chance of success but at the same time#Pretenders would've turned up and they would have been far more dangerous with far more internal support than they had been for Henry#Again - this is what makes his usurpation so fascinating to me. I genuinely do find him interesting as a historical figure in some ways#But his fans instead fixate on a fictional version of him they've constructed in their heads instead#(*obscure from a practical perspective not a dynastic one)#queue
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okay so... i've been thinking about how different the vibes seem between bottle blonde barton and brunet barton, and so now i'm curious: which one do y'all prefer? just for reference, THIS is a side by side comparison of them:
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#yeah i know this is a kind of weird poll BUT just bare with me for a second y'all lmaoo i am merely doing this for... research purposes#and because i want for my opinion that they have different vibes to be validated / j ahahahhh i'm just kidding but yeah#if you guys wanna vote then feel free to do so!! 👀
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idk anon. you tell me
#draws#rain world#five pebbles#self insert#ocs#fanart#anyways i cut out the second half of this ask because it was weird and offputting. You were seriously mere letters off#from calling him derogatory anti lesbian slurs. Like sincerely#im actively deciding to turn this weird anon into a positive thing but dont come in my inbox with weird shit like that again.#anyways. Post this pebbliss<3#i actually had a lot of fun drawing this#< i figure its time she gets her own tag on my blog since her presence is so big. lol#oc: virtuous bliss
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Mar I need to know how bad the hetalia hit you because it was BAD with me I tell you
one of those guys is competing with tori for character ive drawn the most in my entire life and i am not sure if tori wins
#my first actual fandom community experience..... on wattpad dot com#also on there at the tender age of 13 or so i met the first person i actually hated in my life#like never once had i been so annoyed at a person until then#it was an important formative experience without which i would not be here today n i got an important friendship out of it#but also i would not touch it again#i was mostly in my rarepair corner tho n everyone else was my age it was chill no actual discourse i met fun people#we had made up discourse for funsies though#like making fake hater accounts that would write callout posts on silly stuff it was fun#like yeah the people were actually great (except that one guy) but not rly the media#i was merely into the characters with 7 seconds of total screentime so i made up whatever i wanted n that was it <3#starpros sunshine#preguntas
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hm. if you've sent me outfits and Don't want to be continuously tagged since many of them have multiple and will be spread out over separate posts, lemme know
#getting tagging anxiety again yeehaw#i can soft-tag you np literally no sweater off of my back#i can imagine how getting Mention notifications for pretty much the same thing over and over can be irritating yk yk#so just. yk. let me know#especially since some of them im getting a liiiiitle carried away with#and want to post On Their own instead of grouped with others#BUT YEAH LEMME KNOW#absolutely unprompted#i love interacting with people but also it scares me so so much and also im very very exhausted constantly#lately the mere thought of formulating responses makes me want to curl up into a tiny ball and Sleep#that second part has nothing to do with this post#my point is: direct interaction is Scary and i dont want to annoy anyone <3
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i'm going to post the last part of the thing today, i almost never get to post parts of anything, this is so exciting, omg.
#i did post the sifki week fic in 2 chapters but i posted them at the same time so it doesn't count#that was just for ease of scrolling as 8800 words felt a bit long#(aside: how the fuck did that fic end up so long?)#anyway the main plot's over so the last part is a bit epiloguey but i had Hanging Plot Threads to deal with#it's one of them 'Epilogue-With-A-Baby' things (of course it is!) which i don't think i've done before#the winter of their discontent is gonna be made glorious summer omg tune in later to find out how and why and that sort of thing!!!#(yes of course i made sure to make it end in summer what do you take me for)#THIS IS MY SECOND LONGEST FIC BTW I'M SO PLEASED WITH MY OWN SELF#shhh this is very exciting for me!!! and thor's already dead so i don't have to worry about the readers being upset about that now!!!#(in my last multichapter i killed him at the end. not the sifki one. that one ends with merely the promise of his later death.)#(I DOn'T ENJOY KILLING THOR HE'S JUST SURPRISINGLY FRAGILE okay???)#(well that and sometimes you need to just. you know. bump the line of succession along a bit for plot reasons.)#(IF HE DIDN'T WANT KILLED SO MUCH THEN WHY IS HE THE OLDEST? HE COULD HAVE CHOSE NOT TO BE. LIKE LOKI DID.)#(BUT lo0ok this time he died before teh fic started so in a way that means he is SAFE from me he is IMMUNE to death. by being dead.)#ANYWHO!!!!
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I was cringing a little at the idea of a RAD Bouquet Baby. I just couldn't imagine Rilla or Arum scaling back their work enough in order to be parents... But then I realised that Damien is in a good position to take on the role of a more full-time caregiver. Yay three parenting adults!
The only thing giving me pause now is that I really can't see Rilla being pregnant. It's a hugely energy and time intensive process that, as I've said above, I couldn't imagine her choosing over her work.
We can assume that she has a secret (both her and Arum being shifty when confronted with keeping secrets) and, in this thought experiment, the secret is Impending Parenthood but -- unless the Petrichorous deigned to leave them a germinating seed or egg that only Rilla is aware of -- I don't really see any way around [Arum voice] mammalian gestation.
If this is the way the podcast is going, I'll be really interested to see how the storyline plays out!
#text#the penumbra podcast#the second citadel#rad bouquet#amaryllis of exile#lord arum#damien the pious#its nothing Confirmed tho so like... nothing to really worry about. mere musings! that is all!#i do think D would make a good parent and I'd be interested in seeing how they subvert A's whole 'human purpose is reproduction' pep talk#but yea D's storyline does seem to be moving in the direction of being a stay at home dad fjfkdkfm#i just wish R could also be a Dad(non gestating parent) instead of like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you've got the only uterus!#why do i feel like my more interesting points have been made in the tags... fndmdm#socks post
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people react to others disliking them with such grandiose whatever blah blah it's embarrassing. like "oh you dont like me what ever will i do" why are you making a whole thing out of this? insecure. I'm always surprised when we treat others disliking us as an accusation because yeah on one hand that is the most personally negative assessment you could receive but on the other hand this conception of dislike as accusation is sooo new imo and disliking people and being disliked is just a fact of life. it tangentially reminds me of when a bunch of formerly popular supernatural bloggers used their discord to talk shit about me daily, and I assume that's not the only thing they were doing in there but it was happening quite frequently and I was receiving screenshots of the whole thing, and one of them tried to stop it because it was getting to be too much*. the rest of them launched into explanations about how they "get" to be bitchy in private and blah blah blah** and one of them, sasha, pointed out that it wasn't like "they were accusing me of being a bad person" and that bit has stuck in my head for years now because when was that ever on the table? Disliking somebody really is no capital offense. The way some people people go about it ranges between immature and horrible but the dislike itself isn't really anything except a fact of life..
*Especially because I was talking to them and, from their perspective, did not know of what they were saying
**Well one in particular was arguing this point but I won't name anybody bc they apologized through some third party the first time I wrote abt this
#i bring the spn blogger thing up like twice a year bc isn't it crazy that that happened??? i did some shitty things to people too though#like there was that blogger princesshamlet who was run off the site bc they wrote some racist racisttt fanfiction and i was one of the firs#people to post about that and tell people what was going on in the stories they were so fervently promoting. and it became a huge thing and#i regret the way i went about that because i didnt like princesshamlet as a person#i was in a server with them and they acted very rude and immature to all of my actual friends and i let the righteousness of having found#some concrete evidence of their slipups mask the fact that i was doing this because i did not like them#and i regretted it as soon as it got out of my control... especially when they apologized two times with the second being a genuinely well#hought out letter and still got heaps of criticism.... point is dislike is nothing and the reactions to the mere feeling both from disliker#and disliked are ridiculous and often embarrassing or regrettable
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