#my ultimate favs I love them all dearly

[gio-cosmo]

Yk I wasn’t originally planning to talk abt my ao3 account on here but I don’t really gaf anymore. Embarrassment is a concept. Embrace joy and whimsy.

..anyways! If you want to read some of my works my ao3 account is bittersweet_serendipity ^_^ I love to write and am always aiming to improve. I state this a lot in authors notes, but if you ever spot any major weak points or mistakes in my writing, feel free to point them out to me! Constructive criticism helps a ton.

Do be aware that my older works (aka the first 2 I published) are literally filled to the brim w grammar mistakes like it’s actually baffling 😭 we should all collectively ignore those for the sake of my mental sanity actually! <3 I need to go back and edit them but I keep pushing it off ughh…someday.

[andro-dino]

May I either hear more about the KyoHyoTsu madness, Sakyo’s dad and mom hcs, or mayhaps a little of the hopeless romantic DSS?? >>:3333

AUGH THREE BULLETS IMMEDIATELY STRAIGHT TO THE HEART YES

kyohyotsu. augh i missed them so bad. another comic idea that I’ve had for a while that I don’t think I’ll ever get around to drawing is the three of them going for a walk, and Hyoma gets cold, and immediately the other two wanna give him a jacket but they realize three very important things very immediately

1. Kyoya’s jackets are sleeveless

2. Tsubasa doesn’t even wear a jacket in the first place

3. Really, Hyoma’s dressed the warmest out of the three of them

and they scramble. both of them are so disappointed in themselves as partners. ultimately they just settle on the double arm around the shoulder. Hyoma is 100% okay with this solution.

Also @ ur tags on my last post of them,,, we’ve already established that kyoya smells like dirt (/pos) to both Tsubasa and Hyoma. To Tsubasa, Hyoma mostly smells like fresh air and occasionally clean laundry. Kyoya thinks Tsubasa smells like lavender, but he can’t quite place what Hyoma’s scent reminds him of. It bothers him. He’s forced to bury his face into Hyoma’s shoulder occasionally to try and figure it out but he can never get it. This is also an arrangement Hyoma is 100% fine with

Bit of a hurt/comf one that is mostly kinda me projecting, but Hyoma very frequently gets waves of random sadness and a lot of the times when this gets bad, he gets really bad at communicating verbally, but also requires more attention. I think they have their own little way of going about it but usually this results in the other two cuddling and reassuring him when he needs it. It doesn’t make it go away completely but it helps and Hyoma appreciates it.

Tobio and dss,,,,, man I haven’t thought about them in ages either I miss them too!!!! Tobio is a character I love so dearly I love him so much. Him being a hopeless romantic is an idea I love so much but it’s even better when you pair it with his super cool guy persona. and I mean it’s barely even a persona bc he’s actually just kinda awesome and I love that for him. but like, he’s so flashy and charismatic and has this air of mystique to him all the time, and just imagine that contrasted with him being the biggest lover boy of all time. it’s great I truly do adore it. I can imagine it causing some hijinks as well because I like to think of both Tetsuya and ryutaro on the aroace spectrum and while they’re not completely without romantic attraction, it’s also not something that they’re entirely familiar with or know how to go about dealing with, so that paired with ultra romantic Tobio is just very silly. I imagine sometimes he gets a little overexcited when it comes to romance and tends to move a little too fast at times and has to physically hold himself back so as to not push the others too far. It’s not something he minds, just that he needs to adjust to properly. The others, for their part, I think both admire Tobio in their own ways. Ryutaro is very fond of him as a whole and appreciates having someone else who can share the braincell from time to time, and Tetsuya is totally enamored by how cool he is. Tetsuya and Tobio are definitely my fav individual duo between all of them (the movie definitely contributed to this) and I just think the idea of Tetsuya genuinely admiring Tobio and thinking he’s really cool but never fully expressing that is so sweet. Tetsuya tends to be very goofy a lot of the times but I think tobio’s presence inspires him to muster on his more genuine, affectionate feelings a lot more and I just really enjoy that dynamic. The three of them are all so silly and different but it’s in such a way that I really do think that they’re all just kind of perfect for each other and I really love that about them.

AND OH BOY. RYOMA AND VICTORIA KURAYAMI MY BELOVEDS.

I don’t know how much I’ll go into about them because recently I mentioned in a server wanting to write a full kurayami family lore doc and honestly I think I might actually get to that soon but like god there’s so much.

I do feel a bit bad because of the two of them, I think I’ve developed Victoria a little less than Ryoma just bc most of the thoughts I’ve had about them center around the dragon clan specifically and the themes they present but ourghh. ourgh. I’ll save the angstier stuff for the lore doc I think.

The two of them met as young adults. Victoria was a prolific blader and adventurer, constantly in search of new horizons and stronger opponents, yk pretty typical blader stuff. She’s a very vibrant character and very friendly, though always preferred to travel on her own. She enjoys taking in a lot of different scenery and exploring and learning as much as she can about every new place she comes by. A lot of the connections she makes on her travels are temporary, and she’s okay with that. She journals a lot so she never forgets anywhere she’s been or anyone she’s met there.

Ryoma meanwhile was one of the very few living members of the dragon clan, and those guys have never been all too familial in the first place. I’ve been thinking about his specific relations to Ryuga and Ryuto recently, as of right now I’m settling on the three of them being cousins. He was never close with them, both with him being a fair bit older than them and all of them being very independent individuals. Ryoma I think more than most other dragon clan members tended to stay pretty close to home, not really having any certain path he wanted to follow besides the general ideas of being as strong as possible and taking down strong opponents that were generally upheld by the dragon clan.

Their first meeting was on a volcanic mountain top. Dragon clan members are naturally drawn to volcanic areas, so Ryoma was just wandering a little further from home than usual, mostly just trying to clear his head. Victoria was traveling Japan at the time, again just taking in the scenery, enjoying a little bit of danger, when their paths crossed. The way I’ve pictured it in my head, I’ve described as very similar to Sakyo and Shinobu’s first battle. They lock eyes and almost immediately recognize each other as bladers both understanding that they’re about to battle. The battle itself I still haven’t decided concretely on the results of but the important take away is that they’re evenly matched, and both of them leave it very fascinated with each other. Ryoma is still very gruff and closed off at the time, so rather than lingering for long, turns to walk away. Victoria asks if she’ll meet him again, and Ryoma assures that she will.

And lo and behold, she does. They meet and battle several more times after that. At first, Ryoma thinks that maybe this is the destiny he was meant to follow, that she is his ultimate rival that he was destined to defeat/surpass, but gradually, the more they battle, the more they learn about each other as well. And eventually, it’s Victoria who first suggests that the two just. Talk. Hang out a bit. And they do. And it’s foreign to Ryoma. He’s not used to casual dynamics. He’s not used to feeling comfortable with someone else. But Victoria’s been steadily chipping at his walls and he’s welcoming this. For Victoria’s part, this is the most attached she’s ever been to anyone she’s met while traveling, but something about Ryoma keeps drawing her back in.

Ryoma doesnt disclose much about himself or the clan specifically, but as they do start becoming closer, and eventually falling in love, he does let her in on a little bit about his family being overbearing and disapproving of their relationship. Victoria doesn’t fully understand the extent of this and gives the best advice she can, and eventually, Ryoma ends up gaining the confidence to fully run away with her. It’s the most free he’s ever felt and it’s the first major step into allowing himself to become more of a person.

Their domestic life together is very comfortable. It has its bumps, especially at the end, but for what there is, it’s the best thing either of them have had in their lives. Both of them work together to take care of themselves and each other more, which is what eventually leads up to them having Sakyo. Ryoma loves him more than anything in the world, and is so relieved that he can give his son a better upbringing he had without the same expectations of the dragon clan (dramatic irony and all that haha). Both him and Victoria are such loving, hardworking parents who truly wish nothing more than to give their son the world.

I’ve already said a lot and it’s hard to go further from here without getting angsty ahshshd. I will say, in the manga-compliant version, Victoria, still alive, is very proud of her son and heavily encourages him to pursue both ballet and beyblade. She sees a lot of her younger self in him and holds great faith that in letting him go off on his own (with takanosuke)(I’m very quickly making childhood friend hcs about manga takasakyo bc there’s nothing stopping me now), he’ll be able to build similar strong, important connections as well.

IM REALLY WRITING TOO MUCH AND I PROMISE IM GONNA WRAP IT UP SOON but the one other thing I wanted to mention is that I do have a slightly less angsty au for Victoria and Ryoma where they meet as teens instead of adults. In this version, I think Victoria is able to more quickly get Ryoma to open up and break away from the dragon clan before their toxic ideals get fully ingrained into him, and it gives him more of an opportunity to be a kid and be able to enjoy his life more and I just think it’s very sweet and comforting. here’s some doods I’ve made of them bc I love them <3

[chippdhearts]

(hi I'm the sofia anon) thank you for the detailed answer! 💖 unfortunately I had to take a break in early s9 because everyone was leaving and/or depressed and that made me too sad :/

it's a shame sofia won't be back tho, she was one of my favs despite the little screen time she had, she had so much potential and certainly the actress had the acting chops to pull off a great storyline :/ somehow there's always some bts bullshit that affects my favourite (especially female!) characters on my favourite shows

I guess I will just rewatch the first 8 seasons instead of the later ones lol

omg heyyyy! you came back 🥰 you're welcome! I love to info dump about characters I love, hehe.

honestly season 9-11 are probably my least favourite. IF you'd feel up to skipping them season 12 might be my personal favourite season of the whole show (aside from one thing. again doing a below the cut with more detail bc idk how much spoilers you want) we get some GREAT new characters (two new women who I think are both really fun) and they have some FUN cases in that season! season 13 is also pretty solid. 14 and 15 have moments that I like and dislike.

Who are your other faves? I totally agree, I think if they wrote better storylines for her then Sofia would have been an incredible asset. I wish they let her shine more. Her actress, Louise, is super underrated (I've been watching a bunch of her stuff recently) I think she's a really great character actress and she's sadly never been given the break/role that I think she deserves.

Okay this is my under the cut about season 12 in more detail. We lose my ultimate fave character, (possibly of all time) Catherine, in this season so it's sad in that regard. BUT they give her an incredible exit (and she comes back to guest star twice, and is back for the reboot.)

ON THE POSITIVE SIDE. We get Russell, Morgan AND Finn this season. Morgan is babey and I love her very dearly (I'm upset that her and Sofia never got to meet bc Sofia would 1000% have been big sis to her and I think it would have been so cute. Russell (Ted Danson) is amaaaazing (one of the only men I will ever love, he is very dad to the team and I love that a lot for them). AND FINN... she's low key chaos maker but I respect her a lot. Also her and russell, one of my FAVE dynamics on the whole show. anyway they all deserved better, esp Finn. But that's a whole other issue.

[vamossainz55]

Yeah, no doubt Charles gets his share of hate, in fact every driver does, more or less, I was just talking specifically about Carlos. I’d never fault Charles for what people do online, he’s not responsible for them. I do kinda wish ferrari would speak up and ask everyone to stop trying to create a rift between Charles and Carlos but that’s very unlikely to happen, in fact it might enrage people even more haha

It’s always, always the same type of people hating drivers, some of them even basically admit they find it fun to be mean which absolutely baffles me. To each their own I guess.

Carlos in his Mclaren era was a delight, that combination of his own decision to be more himself than he was before (like he said in some interview) and also being paired up with Lando who instantly connected with him worked really well. To me it seems like Carlos needs a much more lighthearted environment to thrive in it, and Ferrari are really far from that… like, being a Ferrari driver puts a certain label on you that you have to be more put together, since it’s a team with such history. Ferrari as a whole need to unclench, stop living off their past victories and truly move forward if they want to be the winning team again. Idk, that’s just how I see things, there’s too much focus on the past, on their legacy, and it’s hurting them more than helping

Anyway, the fact that Tifosi were totally behind Carlos from the moment the weekend started until the very end was really heartwarming ahhh I think the support from everyone was one of the factors why it all went so well for him because ngl, at times this year it seemed like he’d lost some confidence in himself. Hopefully I’m wrong or that it’s all resolved now if I’m not. If only the car was good enough to fight for wins 😭

I guess I’m in a rant mood as well haha, feel free to tell me to stop spamming you 🫶

waaah ! i hope you didnt take it any wrong way- didnt mean you specifically with the charles hate, its just something thats been a bit more conscious in my mind recently and i just wanted to let it out. but yeah, charles is the last person responsible of the hate ofc. i actually prefer ferrari saying nothing about it, i do think itll make matters worse and ultimately ferrari need to fix themselves first 😂.

but yes its usually the same type of people and sometimes its just so so embarrassing. like i get second hand embarrassment sometimes seeing some the things people post to hate on the driver, i just don’t understand how some of them can lack self awareness. ive also been blocked by some accounts on tumblr even though ive never said anything about their fav or interacted w them (infact i love their fav too) but maybe ita cause im a carlos account haha.

mclaren era was so so beautiful i miss it so dearly and i get saddened that he isnt there anymore but ultimately i do think ferrari was a good mood. even though it hurts and sucks ita good that carlos is outside of his comfort zone and that he needs to push his elbows out a little but i agree with all your points, ferrari does need to get off the highhorse theyre on (pun not intended 😂) and reflect as to why they arent performing and the type of environment they have. i do think theyre the team thats stuck in old ways, they need to innovate and think outside the box myb idk.

as for carlos this year and his confidence- i think last year really took a toll on him but hes much more confident in himself this year in terms of consistency. hes back to his old self and i think even though the car isnt performing as good hes still pushing the limits whilst being aware of when to stop. but if its the case where hes missing a bit of confidence still i really hope he finds it after monza. we all are really rooting for him. the car and where its at is a pity, but im hoping both charles and carlos just need this breather this season and in some miraculous way the car will catch up next year.

also do not apologize for the rant, i wrote a whole essay i think 😂. but im enjoying this so dont worry your little pretty head about it

[ace-ace-attorneys]

… susato? Or Gina!

how about both???

susato:

sexuality headcanon: lesbian

gender headcanon: nonbinary, maybe more specifically genderfluid? i think she doesn’t mind being a girl but she feels like that’s not all she is. like there’s more to it than that. i think she’s known that from a very young age too though she definitely wouldn’t have had the words to describe it. on the other hand, i also think transmasc susato is an interesting angle that should be explored more

a ship i have with said character: ginasusa!! susahao is sweet too though it doesn’t excite me as much

a brotp i have with said carácter: ryunosuke, iris, and kazuma are all her pseudo-siblings and i love their relationships dearly. special shout out to ryunosuke and susato though i have soooo many feelings about them. they love each other so much gahh

a notp i have with said character: shipping her with ryunosuke, kazuma, iris, or any of the other adults. ppl,,, she is 16,,,

a random headcanon: i have tons of these from talking with you pringle! which means you’ve seen most of them before but i’ll share one of my favorites which is that she’s really good with gadgets! she mentions a few times that she really likes taking apart mechanical things (iirc she calls them “irresistible”) so i think yujin encourages her to pursue that interest and she eventually kind of becomes the person people go to when they’re having trouble with any gadgets because she will know what is wrong and how to fix it and she will have fun doing it :) (if anyone wants to see the rest of my susato hcs i might consider dropping them 👀)

general opinion over said character: i love her sm!! i love how different she is from so many of the other assistants, she’s so calm and knowledgeable and mature and yet she’s still a weird little girl at heart <3 i think she deserves to go feral but ultimately i just want her to be happy

gina:

sexuality headcanon: bi, maybe aroacespec of some form?

gender headcanon: didn’t give much thought to her gender until she met other genderqueer people, which gave her a like… “oh. you can do that??” moment and she started to consider that she might be agender. i think that she eventually came to the conclusion that nah she really is a girl and is generally cool with being one, she just doesn’t like when people treat her as weak or lesser because of it (a sentiment that she and susato bond over). (i do like agender gina too though!)

a ship i have with said character: ginasusa again

a brotp i have with said character: her relationship with the whole family, esp iris, ryu, and sholmes. the way they teach her how to trust and open up to people and be loved,,, WAHH im very emotional about them. also i think she and kazuma deserve to be unhinged besties

a notp i have with said character: can’t think of anything in particular

a random headcanon: susato teaches her calligraphy/how to write nicely and they send each other letters when susato is in japan :)

general opinion over said character: i sound like a broken record at this point bc people keep sending in my favs, but i adore her. she’s so fun and such a wonderfully written character and her arc is so sweet and compelling.

[enderon]

Been rereading Parantural and, wow, boy howdy, there's certainly been a change in my favs.

Like, back when I myself was a troubled child just trying to figure things out, dealing with moving to a new city and school to make new friends, obviously I was drawn to the kids and their stories and struggles, could really relate to them. But now, as an equally troubled and struggling young adult who's trying their best and trying to go into the adult world, specifically teaching, boy has Spender just jumped up the ladder to favorite character position (us both being dramatic gays is also a plus). Just, obviously there's been more stuff for him since I was last into Paranatural, what with all the flashback business, but I kinda can relate to him more than ever being in the position I am now. He's just, he's such a dork but it's clear that he's trying so, so hard, and as wrong as he seems to be doing with the kids it really does seem like he's ultimately trying to help and protect them and now knowing the long term relationship he's had with both Ed and Isabel just, god, I love this man dearly.

[shumaiseyeliner]

Hiya! If it's okay, could I get some general yandere Hajime Hinata headcanons?

A/N: IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY 🥳 MY SECOND FAV PROTAGONIST

Warnings: yandere, unhealthy relationships, unhealthy mindsets, violence

Hinata Hajime

I imagine him having a darling that’s an ultimate because Hajime definitely tortures himself like that. He loves his darling dearly, but at the same time kind of hates them because he feels like they’re better than him. Hajime is definitely devoted, for sure, but he messes with his darling a lot, to the point where he almost ruined their career just because he woke up and chose violence that morning.

On the other hand, though, he’s merciless towards those who he deems as a threat. Hajime has his fair share of anger issues, that much is obvious, and because he’d hate to hurt his darling in any way, he takes out all his anger and frustration on the people he sees as competition. Hajime doesn’t do this in front of his darling, though, he’s kind of sneaky. He’s just really... aggressive towards other people.

Hajime loves spending time with his darling doing normal things, though. Couple things, more specifically. Like dates and going cute places. It doesn’t matter to him if his darling agrees to being his significant other or not, he’s already laid claim to them so it doesn’t really matter. He’ll take them on dates anyway, and Hajime has his own kind of charm when he isn’t being petty. He really likes arcade dates, for reference.

[theyilinglaozus]

Oh yes, JC and WWX are a very well written sibling relationship, just like all the others! Each one is different, and that's what makes them unique, I don't think I've ever seen a series with such well written, and well developing, relationships! Even though it is very heartbreaking, indeed, and I'm still sad that JC and WWX didn't get to reconcile in the end... although that was plausible. "What am I supposed to do? Say thank you, and then sorry?" sums it up p well -✨

as JC cannot change the past anymore, he now knows that WWX was not the one mainly responsible for all the terrible things but after all that happened I understand that there is no reconciliation, even though it does break my heart. The friendships between WN and WWX/NHS and WWX are some of my favourites as well! Especially NHS and WWX, they're just so innocent in the beginning and seeing how time changes them is very interesting. My fav sibling dynamic to explore is NHS and NMJ, though! -✨

It's very interesting how different they are, and obviously NHS loved NMJ a great deal, while NMJ was rather strict to him... I'm also not ashamed of saying I love modern AUs where they're best bros. One of my favourite modern AU things, though, is platonic 3zun and WWX/NHS//JYL/JZX all coexisting and 3zun being excited brothers about everything. Now, do you enjoy reading modern AUs? And what's your favourite fanfic plot/trope, no matter if set in canon or AU? -✨

Ugh, the variation and depth to all the sibling and friend relationships in MDZS are just 👏 so 👏 good! It really makes it difficult to pick favourites sometimes, doesn’t it? I adore Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and knew from the get go they were my favourite siblings, but then you have their interactions with Yanli too who is, best older sister right there alongside Wen Qing. I have a bit of a weakness for well written sibling bonds, so finding so many in the series without expecting it? Honestly, it just made me love the series all the more 💖

I absolutely agree with you! Half the heartache of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s lack of reconciliation is just ... where do you even begin, really? All either of them ever wanted to do was protect the other, and look what happened. There’s a lot of anger and resentment (on Jiang Cheng’s part at least) there, but also a lot of yearning and sadness. Because they love each other so dearly and both want to be brothers again, but they’re older now and know that sometimes, you just can’t return to the way things were 💔

I actually sort of see the end of the drama as rather hopeful for their relationship, though. Because the important thing (at least on Wei Wuxian’s part) has been talked about, and even if Jiang Cheng is still struggling with the golden core reveal, it’s the step forward they needed. Jin Ling knows the two of them want to talk and sort things out but are too stubborn to do so ... but I wouldn’t be surprised if Jin Ling ends up bringing them together somehow. He is, after all, their sisters’ son for all he seems to mirror Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling has her caring side and the stubborn side to likely lock them in a room together until they talked things through 😂

The Nie brothers are so interesting! They care so much (enough that Nie Huaisang came up with the ultimate revenge plan. Honestly, what a king 👑). Have you had a chance to watch Fatal Journey with them at all? It’s high up on my to watch list, and it looks so intriguing! To be honest I think Huaisang is just an incredible character anyway. His brother is a little strict, yes, but it feels like tough love to me. Mingjue knows what Huaisang is really capable of and what potential he has, even with the facade Huaisang puts up for the rest of the world. 

Oh, I love reading modern AU’s 😍 Since we’ve shared fic recs before CC, here are a few good ones I’ve read recently: Martial Claims by yeolinski, I’ll have you and you’ll have me by sundiscus and These Things Stay the Same by notevenyou.

As for tropes ... oh, wow. It sort of depends on the pairing and the story. I’ve read a lot of fic set in settings that I never thought I’d like half as much as I do, and a lot of the time it’s down to how good the writing is! As clique as it sounds, I do enjoy a good coffee shop or college au from time to time. But I also really enjoy things like ‘meeting in a bookstore’ or ‘flowershop au’s’. I think my favourite tropes are sort of getting together, mutual pining, miscommunication and a lot of fluff and comfort smut is always welcome too, but sometimes it’s not necessary if the story doesn’t feel it needs it, you know? 

At the moment, I have found that I am yearning for a good ice skating!wangxian fic. I think that’s due to a mix of me thinking it would be perfect for them, watching this ice skating performance too many times for it to be regarded as healthy, desperately missing watching ice skating on the telly, the announcement for more Yuri on Ice a while back, and it just being winter time 😅 (Plus like ... wangxian ice skating to songs Lan Wangji writes and creates for Wei Wuxian them? Perfect!)

I have found that for wangxian (since that’s the Untamed ship I read the most) that I prefer modern AU’s for the getting together, and canon more for established relationships / exploring already existing character connections. Not saying it doesn’t switch out between the two ever, but I just seem to gravitate to that more. 

I know you mentioned before you often write darker fic, but do you have any specific tropes you enjoy reading or writing more than others?

Oh! And while I remember and we’re on the topic of fic, if you enjoy the Nie brothers, I also recommend the fic The Light that Fails to Dim by glowingreverie. It includes a Wei Wuxian that is found and adopted by the Nie sect, Nie brothers (there are three of them with Wei Ying included!), Wei Wuxian still having connections to the Jiang clang, and is honestly just such an unusual yet interesting take on things that I think you’d really enjoy it! 💖

[freddiesaysalright]

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 5

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 8.3k 

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @the-moving-finger-writes​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @rose-writes-prose​, @queenlover05​, @moon-stars-soul​, @danadeacon​, @deacyblues​, @thesundrop​, @cupidben​, @lostlittlenerd​, @delilahmay39​, @timmvrphy​, @queenmylovely​, @loveandbeloved29​, @free-pool-trash​, @fairestkillerqueenofall​, @local-troubled-writer​, @babyalienfairy​, @littlecarowrites​, @allthethingsicant​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @mirkwoodshewolf​, @squishy-gay-astronaut​, @sherlollydramoine​, @butlegendsneverdie​, @dogmom2014​, @rocketrhap917​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Oh, the drama continues. This chapter is emotional. omg

Warning(s): None!

Night 1  Week 1  Week 2  Week 3  Week 4

Week 5 here we go!!!

“W...what are you doing here?” you stammered, shock keeping you frozen to the spot.

“Can I come in?” he asked. “So we can talk?”

“Yeah, okay,” you agreed, forcing yourself to move at last.

You stepped out of the way and allowed him into your room. You followed him to the couch and he took a seat, but you couldn’t. Now that you were moving, you didn’t want to stop. You began pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table.

“How are you?” he asked.

You stopped in your tracks and faced him. “I’m doing well. What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you,” he said. “I’ve missed you so much and I wanted to tell you before you maybe got swept up in…”

“In what?” you pressed.

“In all this,” he said. “In someone else.”

Jamie Bell was an actor and dancer. While Peter’s season was airing, he had gotten in touch with you via social media. He was in LA, so you went out on a few dates with him. You thought things were going well, and that there was real potential there. But before he returned to England, he broke it off. He didn’t know when he would be coming back to the states, and he didn’t really believe in long distance relationships. A month later, you got the call from Chris Harrison with the offer to be the Bachelorette. Since you still wanted to find your partner, you accepted.

As you looked at Jamie now, those old feelings started to return to you. You were reminded harshly of his charm and all the fun you had together. 

“That’s all you wanted to tell me?” you questioned. “That you missed me?”

Despite the good memories, he had really hurt you. You were skeptical of his being here now.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said. “Ever since I left.”

“Jamie, that was months ago,” you reminded him. “You had plenty of time to contact me before I started this.”

“I didn’t want to stand in your way,” he said. “You know I’ve only ever wanted for you to be happy.”

You frowned. “No, I don’t think I do. If you really wanted me to be happy, you would have given us a shot when we had one. Instead of running away.”

You wanted to add “like a coward” to the end of that, but you held your tongue. He didn’t deserve any harsh words, really, since he had done the right thing if he wasn’t feeling the relationship. You wanted to hear him out.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. “But at the time, I really wasn’t sure about us. It took being away from you for me to realize that I’d made a huge mistake.”

You took a deep breath and looked away from him, heart aching. 

“How come you didn’t reach out?” you asked.

“Like I said, I didn’t want to get in the way if doing this was what you really wanted,” he told you. “But I heard you were here in London and I just had to see you. And take my chance.”

He stood up and crossed the room to you. He placed a hands on your arms. You remembered his touch as if it were yesterday.

“You can’t deny that we had something great,” he said. “Maybe it’s still there.”

“What would you have me do?” you demanded, wrenching free of him and stepping back. “Leave all of this behind? I’ve made really strong connections. I’m falling in love, Jamie. You want me to just throw it all away?”

“No, that’s not what I want,” he said. “I want you to give me a chance too.”

You blinked, stunned.

“What, you mean come and join the house?” you asked. “With the other guys?”

He nodded. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

You sighed, turned away, and went to the window, looking out at the city, hoping it would bring you some clarity. You liked Jamie, and you missed him too, but the guys who were here meant so much to you. To bring in another person when you were already getting down to the wire would really throw things off.

“I dunno if that’s a good idea,” you said. “This is almost over. Hometowns are next week. I don’t know if I could do this to them and then meet their families.”

You heard him huff behind you, so you turned around again, looking at him expectantly.

“Shouldn’t you follow your own heart?” he said. “This is about you, isn’t it?”

“It is,” you said. “But I also care about these men, and I don’t want to hurt them. Like I said, I’m falling in love. As great a time as we had, I didn’t get there with you before you left.”

“But we have another chance now,” he insisted. “You just have to say yes.”

“I don’t know if I want to,” you replied.

His hopeful expression broke, shifting into hurt. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. “But I can’t see myself getting there with you now. Not when I’m so far along with these guys. I told them when we started I knew my husband was among them. And that’s still true. I know that one of them is my person.”

He inhaled deeply, absorbing this blow. You hated to hurt him. But you weren’t sure about him, and at this point, you needed to be sure of anyone you were going to keep around. That security was in the seven men you still had. 

“I appreciate you taking a shot,” you said. “But I think you were right back then when you left. We should say goodbye.”

“That’s really how you feel?” he asked.

You met his gaze.

“That’s really how I feel,” you said. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

You went to the door, passing him and allowing him to follow you. He stopped you as you reached for the handle.

“Y/N,” he said.

You looked at him.

“I hope you have a wonderful life.”

You smiled. “Thanks, Jamie. You too.”

He hugged you for a brief moment before leaving. You closed the door behind him, feeling like that door was closing on your heart. When you and Jamie dated, you thought you could fall in love with him. But since you met the men on your season now, you realized that Jamie was not it. It was time to move on. 

First, you had to clarify this to the men.

You grabbed your room key and headed out. It made you nervous to confess something like this to them, but you didn’t want them to leave here and start reading about rumors and then doubt you. It would be better to hear exactly what happened, directly from you.

The men’s suite was one floor above yours. Your hands shook a little as you approached the door. Would they really understand? Would  they now doubt your reasons for coming on this journey? You just had to tell them and find out.

You knocked on the door.

Taron answered and was immediately thrilled to see you. His wide smile made you return with one, and he pulled you in for a hug before stepping aside and letting you walk in.

“What’s brought you here?” he asked sweetly.

“Something I wanted to discuss with all of you,” you said. 

The rest of them were already in the sitting area of the suite. You took a seat on the couch between Rami and Joe.

“What’s up, Y/N?” Joe wondered.

“So, someone was just here,” you said. “Someone from my past.”

They all exchanged worried glances as you took another deep breath. Then you launched into the story. You told them how you met Jamie, the extent of the relationship, how it ended, and what he had asked of you just minutes ago. You watched as their faces went from surprised, to at ease, to shock again.

“I told him no,” you said, and relief took them. “Whatever was between us doesn’t compare to what I have with each of you, and I don’t think that in the time we have left that it could get there. So I sent him away.”

“You didn’t want to let him stay?” Gwilym asked. “Not even a little bit?”

“I’m gonna be honest, part of me did want to say yes,” you said. “But I know what I have here, and how I’m feeling about each of you. It wouldn’t be worth it to bring him on just to send him home at the end of the week. This - what I have with the people in this room - is where the potential is for me. I just wanted to be totally honest with you guys.”

“We appreciate it,” Rami said.

“I also didn’t want gossip magazines or anything like that getting a hold of even a scrap of this and blowing it way out of proportion,” you said. “These are the facts. And I hope you all trust me.”

“Of course we do,” said Ben. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Thank you all for being so understanding and lovely,” you said. “But now, I’ve got to get some sleep. It’s been a long, emotional day, and I’m ready to get to Ireland.”

They all agreed and got up to walk you to the door. You hugged each of them before leaving, a great weight lifted from your heart. You truly had a wonderful group of men here who were kind and genuine. This would ultimately make your decisions going forward more difficult. But for now, it made you happy.

When you landed in Ireland, your heart was beginning to sink. This was a big week. This was the week you would decide who would get hometown dates. You had to decide who’s connections were strong enough to want to meet their families. Three men - men you cared about so dearly - would be going home.

The men were equally anxious. They knew the weight of the week ahead. They also had to decide if they wanted you to meet their families. How strongly were they feeling for you? Could they really see themselves proposing at the end of this?

You were all staying at Ballyseede Castle. The guys had a few rooms to themselves and you had a separate room, on the other side of the building. You had the first date after your arrival there, and you were excited about it. But it was time to make a big decision. This date was make or break. 

The first date card arrived, and Taron went to answer the door. When he returned to the guys, they were silent and waiting.

“Rami,” Taron read. “Will we sink or sail? Love, Y/N.”

“Finally,” Rami sighed, taking the card as Taron handed it to him. “I’m ready for a one on one.”

“Are you ready to take her home to your family?” Joe asked.

Rami nodded. “Yeah...yeah, I am. I’m falling for this girl, and I think bringing her home could solidify it for me.”

“Well, I hope it goes well, then,” Joe said with a smile.

They all wished him luck as he went to get ready.

Rami met you at a small dock on Lough Lane, the largest of the Killarney lakes. You beamed at Rami as he jogged up to you, wrapping you up in his arms and hugging you tight. You couldn’t help but giggle as you saw him and hold on for just a moment longer.

“So,” you said as you separated. “We are going on a little boat tour of Lough Lane today. There are tons of places to see along the shore, which are almost all part of Killarney National Park.”

“Sounds great!” he said.

“Awesome, let’s go!”

You took his hand. Together you walked to the little boat that was reserved for you and climbed in. You were in awe of Ireland and its natural beauty, so this was a great way to see some of it. Your guide was a local who knew most of the history, and he explained it to you and Rami as you rode around. It was a beautiful, sunny spring day. The water was shining like glass and the shore was a deep, lush green. 

You stopped on a small island in the middle of the lake called Innisfallen. There was an old, crumbling building there. The guide told you this was Innisfallen Abbey. You and Rami clasped hands and went to explore it. 

“I love doing stuff like this,” you said. “Seeing some history and all this beauty.”

“Me too,” he agreed. “I’m glad you chose me for this.”

“I’m glad too,” you replied. “I feel really good about us.”

He stepped closer so he could kiss you. You parted, grinning, before walking around some more.

“So, tell me about your family,” you said. “You know getting a rose this week means I’m going to meet them.”

“So you wanna be prepared?” he teased.

“Of course!”

“Well, there’s not much to know, really,” he said. “My parents are incredibly kind people. I’m sure they’ll love you. The trick is impressing my siblings.”

“A sister and a brother, right?” you asked.

“Yep,” he confirmed with a nod. “My sister is older and pretty protective of the both of us. She’s gonna be the tough one.”

“I see,” you said. “Well, I like that she cares about you so much.”

“She really does,” he said. “She’s the best sister in the world, honestly. She was pretty skeptical about this whole thing, but I think once she meets you, she’ll understand.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said. “I love that you’re all so close.”

“You told me that you and your family aren’t,” he said. “Can I ask why?”

You sighed. “Just...they were very conservative and religious. But they’re also really cold people. I felt like I was being controlled, not loved. So when I turned eighteen, I left. We talk every once in a while, but just for holidays and stuff. We don’t really have a relationship at all.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking your hand again. “I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

“It’s not easy,” you told him. “For a long time, I felt so alone. Then I met my ex - before Peter, that is - and things got worse.”

“Things got worse with your parents?” 

“Just worse in general, including my parents,” you said. “The years I was with him, we didn’t speak at all.”

He let out a low whistle. “That’s tough.”

A beat passed and then he looked at you.

“You’re really strong, you know that?” he said.

“You think so?” you questioned. 

Your inability to maintain a relationship with your family always made you feel like there was something wrong with you.

“I know so,” he said. “To get away from your family because you know they’re not good for you, to endure what you endured from your ex, and then to still have the faith in love that you have...I’m kinda blown away right now.”

“Thanks, Rami,” you said quietly. “That really means a lot to me.”

He smiled, which made you smile too.

“I didn’t think I could fall any more in love with you, but here I am,” he said.

You beamed and leaned forward to kiss him.

Shortly after, you rode back to the mainland and disembarked. You thanked your guide before leaving the little harbor. Then you both went to prepare for the evening portion of the date.

Rami: I feel really good about our date today. Opening up with Y/N is as easy as breathing. We have a really natural connection. I do want to introduce her to my family and get a feel for how she’ll fit, but I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. She fits in with me, anyway.

For the evening, you had the restaurant and bar of the Killarney Golf and Fishing Club. It had a spectacular view of the lake, which looked much darker as the sun went down behind it. You and Rami sat down to dinner and you took a sip of wine.

“Today was a lot of fun,” you said. “I love to travel and explore, so I like that we got to see something different.”

“I’m the same way,” he told you. “I had a great time.”

“Where’s your ideal travel spot?” you asked.

“I would really like to go back to Egypt,” he said. “I’ve only been a few times, and I was pretty young, so I felt like I didn’t fully appreciate it.”

“That would be cool,” you said.

“Where would you want to go?” he asked.

“The top of my list was always London,” you said with a small laugh. “So I’m glad we went there! But after that it was always Tokyo.”

“I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s amazing,” he said. “Maybe we can go together sometime.”

“I’d love that,” you said. “I’d love to just travel the world with you.”

“Sounds like a dream,” he replied.

You paused for a moment before continuing.

“So, I kind of just want to check in with you since this is such a big week and I could potentially meet your family,” you said. “How are you feeling?”

He took a sip of his drink.

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m feeling good,” he said. “It’s hard to think about you and the other guys, but I feel great about us. We have a great connection. It’s definitely something I want to keep exploring because I’m falling so hard for you. Nothing would make me happier than taking you home to meet my family.”

You smiled.

“I’m feeling great about us, too,” you told him. “From day one, I feel like we’ve had something really unique and special. I want to know more about how you came to be the person you are. I want to meet your family.”

He grinned at you and you giggled back. He had the cutest, most genuine smile you’d seen in a long time. His eyes shone at you. You picked up the rose.

“Rami,” you said, letting his name linger in your mouth a moment because it felt so nice. “Will you accept this rose and take me home?”

He kissed you so enthusiastically, you laughed into his mouth. His answer was certainly clear to you. Your lips moved together deeply, with a tenderness that made you want to melt into a puddle right in your chair. When you parted to breathe, you pinned the rose to his jacket.

“I’m so happy, Y/N,” he said. 

“I’m happy too, Rami,” you replied. “I can’t wait!”

You kissed again, heart soaring. 

To celebrate, you went out to the balcony of the golf club and held each other as you looked out over the lake. As a small fireworks show began, you thought about how stoked you were to meet Rami’s family. To know him on a deeper level. Maybe then, you could really fall in love with him.

Back at the castle, in his room, Allen was looking out over the land pensively. Joe, who was his roommate, took notice and stopped what he was doing.

“Allen, you okay?” Joe asked.

“I think so,” Allen replied. “I dunno...being home is sort of putting a lot in perspective for me.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Joe offered.

“I’m okay,” Allen said. “Thanks, though.”

Joe left it alone, but he quickly became concerned. What did that mean?

Allen: Being home in Ireland has just got me thinking about things on a larger scale. Last time I fell in love this quickly, it ended badly. I’m not sure I am in love with Y/N at this point. And any girl I introduce to my family...I want to be in love with her. I want to be sure that she’s the one. And there’s no way to be sure right now because she’s still the Bachelorette, right? I’ve got a lot to think about right now.

Another date card arrived before Rami got home. Gwilym retrieved it and read it aloud.

“Richard,” he read. “Let’s be king and queen of the castle. Love, Y/N.”

“Alright, I can’t wait!” Richard said, taking the card as Gwilym handed it out to him. “I’m ready for that time with her.”

He looked at the card and wondered what it meant. He wasn’t familiar with Killarney at all, so he assumed there was some bit of history to what you would be doing. Maybe even within the castle you were staying in.

When Rami got home, rose on his chest, the mood shifted in the house. That meant there were only three roses left for hometowns. If Richard got one on his date, the odds were even slimmer for the guys on the group date. It hit them suddenly just how serious this was becoming.

The next day, you met Richard at Ross Castle, a fifteenth century tower fortress that overlooked Lough Leane. It was made of grey stones, which stood out among the green backdrop around it. 

“Hi!” you greeted Richard as he gathered you up in a hug.

“Hello!” he returned, kissing you softly. 

“I’m so glad you’re with me today,” you said. “We’re gonna explore Ross Castle together, so I hope you like history.”

“Sure I do,” he replied.

Taking his hand, you headed inside. It was amazing to see a small building with so much history. 

“So, this castle was built by O’Donoghue Mor,” you said. “Legend has it, he lies in slumber deep beneath Lough Leane, and on the first morning of May, he rises out on his magnificent white horse and circles the lake. If you see him, you’re blessed with good luck for the rest of your life.”

“Spooky,” Richard said. “Does it cancel out any bad luck? Like, say you walked under a ladder or broke a mirror, are you cured?”

You laughed. “I would hope so!”

He smiled at you. “Who needs luck anyway, when I’ve got you?”

“How sweet,” you said with a blush.

As much fun as you were having with Richard, this still felt too new. You didn’t feel like you had progressed much with him. He was falling behind, and you needed more from him if he was going to get the rose from you.

The whole day was light and cheerful, despite your worries. You just knew you would have to talk to him about it that night. The castle was beautiful, the view of the lake was spectacular, and you were enjoying getting to do this with him. 

For the evening, you had a room on the first floor of the castle set up for your dinner date. You walked in together and admired the coziness of it before sitting down at the table. Your stomach turned with nerves as you thought about what you wanted from Richard. What if it was something he wasn’t prepared to give?

“I had a great time today,” he said. “I always have so much fun with you.”

You sighed, setting down your wine glass.

“That’s great, Richard,” you said. “But is that all this is to you? We’re just…having fun together?”

He swallowed, brow furrowing. “Is there something wrong with that?”

That stung. You hated that your reservations were right.

“Yeah, there is,” you said. “This is getting real now. Giving you this rose means I meet your family. I don’t want to do that if you’re not serious about this.”

He took so long to reply you feared for a moment that he wouldn’t. But you needed him to respond to that.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he said. “I really like you. I like where this is going. I’d like to keep seeing you.”

You released a slow, deep breath.

“It has to be more than that at this point,” you said. “We’re beyond exploring the relationship. Where do you see us at the end of this?”

His mouth turned down.

“What are you asking me, Y/N?” he asked. 

“Can you see yourself committing to me?” you pressed. 

“You mean, get down on one knee and propose?” he wondered.

You swallowed thickly.

“Yes,” you said. “Is that where you see this going?”

He heaved a sigh and cut his eyes away from yours. Panic made your heart rate pick up.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said heavily. “But I can’t see it in the short amount of time we have left.” He looked at you again. “I know myself, and I’m not going to be ready to propose.”

You blinked and a tear slid down your cheek.

“I see,” you whispered. “Then...then I’m afraid I can’t give you this rose.”

Silence hung between you for a long moment, the joy of the day long gone. 

“Can I walk you out?” you asked.

“Sure,” he replied.

You walked in silence to the van waiting for him. You felt a bit numb and confused. You had been feeling so strongly for him, but he wasn’t going to get there with you. It felt a bit like a waste.

“I really am sorry, Y/N,” he said as you came to a stop together.

“It’s alright,” you said. “Better to tell me now than go further into this with different ideas.”

“You’re sure we can’t keep seeing where this goes?” he wondered.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I didn’t come here for a boyfriend. I came for a husband. If you can’t get there, then we have to say goodbye.”

“I understand,” he said solemnly. “I wish you every happiness.”

“I wish the same for you,” you returned.

You shocked yourself at how sure you sounded when inside you were falling apart a little. You and Richard had been going strong. It made your heart ache for it to end this way.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said.

You hugged him one last time. “Goodbye, Richard.”

Upon parting, your eyes lingered on each other for a moment longer. Because this was your last time together, each of you were not eager for it to end. But at some point it had to. He was the one who finally conceded and opened the car door. You closed it behind him, letting more tears fall down your face.

“This sucks,” he said to the camera as the van started down the road. “I really thought we had something great. I just wish I could get where she wants. But I can’t and I don’t want to rob her of men that can give her that, you know? I’m just going to miss her a lot.”

You wiped your face, but the tears still fell slowly.

“I hate this,” you said to the camera. “I really didn’t want to say goodbye, but...I can’t just keep him if he’s not in the same place. I know I made the right decision.”

You went back to look out over the water. You had gotten clarity from Richard, and you were sure of what you did. That didn’t mean it was easy. 

Back at the house, the guys were lounging around and talking over the possibilities for the group date. That’s when a producer arrived to take Richard’s things.

“No way!” Ben gasped. 

The others shared his sentiment, and expressed their disbelief as well.

Gwilym: I’m shocked that Richard’s going home tonight. They seemed to have a strong connection. Although, he did confess to me that he wasn’t in love with her. Most of the rest of us are, so maybe she just knew it couldn’t get there. That does mean there are still three roses to give out. 

After the producer took Richard’s luggage, there was a knock on the door for a date card. Rami went to get it and opened it.

“Gwilym, Joe, Ben, Allen, and Taron,” he read. “Join me for a long expected party. Love, Y/N.”

“Okay, I really have no idea what that means,” Ben said.

“It could mean anything, really,” Taron agreed. “But a party implies fun.”

Taron: I’m actually quite nervous about this group date. Her sending Richard home on their one on one show how serious this is getting. I mean, when there’s the possibility for her to meet your family, how could it not be? I just hope I’m able to spend a good amount of time with her and show her how badly I want to take her home.

Allen got to his feet, heart pounding. He knew he had to see you before the group date and talk about what he was feeling. He went to his producer and spoke to her about what he needed, and she told him he could go to see you. So, he headed to your room.

You were still recovering from your break up with Richard. As much as you knew it was the right thing, you were hurting. You were journaling about it to organize your feelings when you heard a knock on your door. You set your things aside, got to your feet, and stretched before going to answer it. When you looked through the peephole, you were delighted to see Allen standing there.

“Hey,” you said warmly as you opened the door. 

Your brow furrowed at his anguished expression.

“What’s up?” you asked.

You stepped back to allow him across the threshold. You closed the door and faced him, expression just as questioning.

“How are you?” he asked. “I know today probably wasn’t easy. Saying goodbye and all.”

You sighed. “You’re right, it wasn’t wasn’t. I’m still working through it, but I’ll be okay. I’ve got other great relationships I can focus on.”

You tried to smile, but the look on his face made you falter. 

“What’s going on?” you asked. “What did you need to see me about?”

“I needed to talk to you before going on the group date tomorrow,” he said. “I’m not sure how I’m feeling.”

You blinked. “Um...what do you mean?”

“Since coming to Ireland, I’ve been really reflecting on my feelings,” he said. “You know my history so you know I’ve really got to feel something - and be sure of it - before committing again.”

“I understand,” you said. “Are you...are you not feeling something for me?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “That’s just it...I’m not sure. I like you - I like you a lot - but I hear the way the other guys talk about you, and I’m not sure I’m there.”

Richard’s exit already felt like one blow. Now, it felt like Allen had knocked you off your feet. You sat down on the couch to feel steady.

“You haven’t said you were falling in love with me or anything,” you said. “And I understood your hesitation. But you’ve continued through this with me. What’s changed?”

“Being home has reminded me of my last relationship,” he said. “And it’s making me realize how serious this is for you and for everyone else. And I don’t feel what I should be feeling by now.”

You felt more tears welling up. God, you were sick of crying already. Two men you felt had such strong connections had both admitted they were not in love with you. Doubt crept into your heart. Were you more sure than the men? Were you mistaken in your feelings?

“So what are you saying?” you sniffled. “You want to leave?”

“I do,” he said. “I’m sorry. But you’ve always said you want us to be honest. This is my truth.”

You took a deep breath and swallowed. “Well, I gotta say, Allen, I’m really blindsided right now.” 

Richard, you sort of expected. He was reserved and you could feel that he wasn’t in this. But Allen...this had taken you completely off guard.

“I thought we had something really great,” you went on. You leaned forward, elbows on your thighs, and head in your hands. “Now I’m questioning everything.”

“I don’t want you to question everything,” he said, taking your hands to make you look at him. “This is just me.”

“It’s not, though, Richard had the same problem. He wasn’t in love with me and he couldn’t see himself getting there,” you argued. “Is every man here just pretending?”

“I take a bit of offense to that,” he said. “I haven’t faked anything. My effort in getting to know you has been absolutely genuine. The other guys are as well. Those guys are falling in love with you so hard their heads are spinning.”

You tried to smile, but couldn’t. You had taken too many hits today. He sat down beside you.

“I’m sorry you feel the way you do,” you said. “Because I was really falling in love with you.”

“I’m sorry too, darlin’,” he replied. “But it’s for the best.”

With that, he pulled you into a hug. You wept quietly into him for a few moments, remembering all your great times and wonderful conversations. When he pulled away, he wiped your face with his thumbs.

“You’re a helluva woman,” he said. “One of those men is going to be a wonderful husband to you.”

“Thanks, Allen,” you replied quietly.

You got up together and you walked him to the door.

“I guess this is goodbye,” you said.

“It is,” he returned. “But I hope it’s not forever.”

Now, you did smile. “Not, not forever.”

You embraced again. He gave you a little squeeze, and then he left. As the door clicked shut, you felt more tears fall. You wiped them away.

Allen got into the car that was waiting for him outside. He looked into the camera.

“I know I’ve done the right thing,” he said. “I had to leave. I didn’t want to take time from the other guys who really do love her, it wouldn’t be fair. She’s following her heart, and I’m following mine.”

In your room, you looked at the camera.

“I just feel like all I’ve done this week is say goodbye,” you said. “I said goodbye to Jamie, then to Richard, and now Allen too...it just sucks.”

You went to bed anxious. Who else was going to shock you? Hurt you? Leave you?

The next day, you were still off from your day of goodbyes. You wanted to rally for the men you were going to see today, but you couldn’t be sure you would totally recover. But you didn’t want to be unfair to them. So, you put on your makeup and donned a happy face.

You met them at a bar/cafe in Killarney called The Shire. It was based on the famous home for Hobbits in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, a favorite series of yours. When you walked inside, your mouth dropped. It really was something straight out of Middle Earth.

The guys, without Allen, showed up a few minutes after you. You looked at the four of them and your hurt began to erode. Allen was right. These four - and Rami too - were where you were going to find your husband.

“Hi!” you greeted. “Welcome to The Shire!”

They smiled, looking around to take everything in. 

“We’re a little early,” you said. “But there’s a party here today, and we’re all invited. So, I hope you’re ready for a great time!”

 The party was for a local woman who was turning one hundred and eleven. She loved Tolkien, so her family and friends were throwing her a birthday party based on Bilbo Baggins’s one hundred and eleventh birthday. As they started arriving, things picked up, and before you knew it, the party was in full swing.

It was everything a party needed. Snacks provided by the cafe, drinks provided by the bar, incredibly friendly Irish hosts, and a live band. You spend most of the time dancing. You danced with each man you had there, and they were all different. Taron had the most energy, leading you all over the floor. Joe was the silliest, making you laugh more than dance. Ben was shyer, but you got him to open up. Gwilym was poised, but still fun, and surprisingly great at moving his body.

You and the guys got to speak to the woman, whose name was Katie, during a moment of quiet. She was remarkably aware. She hadn’t lost a step, mentally.

“So, Katie,” you said. “What’s the secret to living to one hundred and eleven?”

“I’ll tell you, dear,” she replied. “It’s to stay away from men!”

You giggled together and she patted your hand.

“I’ve already gone off the path, then, I’ve got four of them!” you cried, pointing to them standing behind you.

“Darling, I don’t know how you’re even standing up!” she returned. “Especially, handsome as they are. You’d make better use of the time you’ve got lying down.”

You all burst out laughing and you gave her hand a squeeze. Laughing and dancing and spending this time reminded you of why you started this journey. You were falling in love. There was always hope. You knew exactly what you wanted out of this and you had faith it would come to you.

You had fun all day. The evening portion of the date was being held at The Shire as well, only now you had it all to yourselves. You were excited to talk to these men and see how they were feeling going into hometowns.

You met them once again at the bar, and you made a toast. Then, Gwilym pulled you aside first. You beamed at him as you went into the cafe together to sit and talk.

“How are you?” you asked. 

“Very well,” he said. “I’m content with where we are, and ready to keep growing with you.”

“Are you ready to take me to meet your family?” you wondered.

“Oh, absolutely,” he said. “I think it would go exceedingly well, and you would fit right in.”

“The way I did in your library?” you teased.

“Yes, cariad,” he said. “Exactly like that.”

You kissed him. Then you asked him about his family. From his descriptions, it sounded like they were similar to himself - bookish, smart, and very kind. You definitely had something to look forward to if Gwilym got a rose.

Ben pulled you next. Just being around him made you giddy. Ben was so sweet, and you didn’t think you could ever get enough of him. As you took a seat together on a bench, he pulled your legs onto his lap.

“How are you feeling, love?” he asked. “I know this hasn’t been an easy week for you.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” you said. “Between Jamie, Richard, and then Allen, I started feeling like all I was doing was saying goodbye. I really started questioning things.”

“Even though you had given Rami a rose?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” you admitted. “After my date with Rami, I felt like everything was fine, in spite of Jamie showing up and having to make that decision. Then Richard’s date went south, and on the same night, Allen told me he wasn’t in love with me either. I got so scared that maybe this wouldn’t actually work. Maybe it’s not enough time to fall in love and…” you trailed off.

“I’m sorry you went through all that,” Ben said, rubbing his warm palm over your knee comfortingly. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that I’m still falling in love with you. I am falling in love with you every single day.” 

“I’m falling in love with you too, Ben,” you assured him. Now that you had said it once, you wanted to keep telling him. And you were mostly sure about Ben’s feelings.

He kissed you.

“There’s no way you won’t find love here,” he said after. “You already have.”

You smiled and cupped his cheek. “You’re so wonderful.”

You kissed for a little longer.

After Ben, Joe came to get you. You looked forward to seeing Joe all the time. He was such a rock for you throughout all of this. And now, after your spirits were low, you felt that need to be near him again.

“Hey, baby,” he said lowly as he pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead. “How’s it going?”

“It’s better now,” you whispered. “I’ve missed you.”

This was true. You actively missed Joe when he wasn’t around. Probably because you already felt so close to him.

“I’ve missed you too,” he replied. “I can’t wait for this part of it to be over. I really want you to meet my family.”

“Really?” you questioned.

“Really,” he told you. “I mean, they’ll love you. You’ll be more popular than I am.”

You giggled. “I dunno about that, but that definitely makes me excited. Who would I be meeting?”

“My mom, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and probably my grandparents as well,” he said. “We’re a big group, and if there’s any reason we can all be together, we take that opportunity. Especially since my dad passed.”

“That makes sense,” you said. “I’d be so honored to meet the Mazzellos. I want to see the people who helped shape you into...well, one of the most incredible men I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.”

He smiled. “You’re so sweet, Y/N.”

You chatted for a little longer, with lots of kissing in between. 

Finally, Taron got to talk to you. He gave you a huge hug before sitting in a booth beside you. 

“I’m so happy to be here with you tonight,” he said. “You’ve been on my mind a lot.”

“I have?” you returned. “In what way?”

“Not anything gross, I promise,” he joked. “But I’ve just been thinking about the chance of you meeting my family and the more I pictured it, the happier I got.”

“That’s so sweet, Taron!” you replied, kissing his cheek.

“That’s not all, though,” he said. “I also thought about what I would tell them when they inevitably asked questions about us. The only thing I could think of was that...well, I love you, Y/N. It’s beyond falling at this point. I’m there. One hundred percent. I love you.”

“Oh!” you gasped. “Oh, Taron, that’s - wow. That’s lovely. Thank you for telling me.”

He smiled and took your hand.

“I just wanted to lay everything out there,” he said. “To let you know where my heart is. It’s with you.”

You returned his grin and leaned over to kiss him again. You felt how deeply he meant those words in this kiss. But, it frightened you a little bit. You had to consider now how you felt about Taron, because you weren’t completely in love with him. You could see it happening for you. But was that enough at this point?

When you parted, you returned to the other guys to hand out the rose. It was waiting for you on a table. You had already decided who you wanted to get it.

“I wanna give this rose to someone who just...made me feel really good tonight,” you said. “Especially after everything that’s happened this week. So...Ben, will you accept this rose?” 

“Of course I will,” he replied, standing up to receive it.

After pinning it to his jacket, you kissed each other on the cheek. Then it was time to say goodnight. You had a rose ceremony to prepare for the following evening. At this point in the journey, there were no more cocktail parties.

Ben: I’m stoked I got the rose. I can’t wait to bring Y/N to my hometown and introduce her to my friends and family. I think that it’ll really bring us closer and I’ll be able to tell her that I am in love with her. 

The rose ceremony was held in a private room off the lobby of Ballyseede Castle the following night. The men were waiting for you when you walked in. You took a deep breath, more nervous now than before any previous rose ceremony. You knew what you had to do, but  you were dreading it. This was the most difficult decision you had made so far. 

“Hi guys,” you said, your voice shaking. 

They all said hello back to you. 

“This is the most difficult rose ceremony to date,” you said. “This was an incredibly hard choice, but with families on the line, I knew I had to be careful and go with where I feel the strongest connections. I hope you understand.”

With that, you picked up the first rose. There were only two.

“Joe,” you said. 

You saw him release a breath before approaching you. 

“Joe, will you accept this rose?”

“Absolutely.”

You pinned it on him. As he walked back, you picked up the second rose with trembling hands. Both Gwilym and Taron were looking desperately at you. You were going to crush one of them. 

Chris Harrison emerged. 

“Gentlemen, Y/N,” he said. “This is the final rose tonight. Y/N, when you’re ready.”

You nodded. You weren’t really ready. How you were going to say this goodbye was beyond you. You would be crushed too. You already felt a lump forming in your throat.

“Gwilym,” you said.

Gwilym had the same reaction as Joe as he walked up. You couldn’t look at Taron. You didn’t want to see his face and witness how you’d hurt him. Especially after he told you he was in love with you. 

“Gwilym, will you accept this rose?” you asked softly.

“I will,” he replied.

Hands still shaking, you pinned it to his jacket. 

“Taron, I’m sorry,” Chris said. “Take a moment, say your goodbyes.”

Taron was already being embraced by Joe and Ben at the same time. Rami followed after and kissed Taron’s cheek. Gwilym hugged him. You heard them whisper words of comfort to him, but you couldn’t make out what they said. You kept your eyes fixed on the floor. You couldn’t see him yet. 

Finally, you heard his footsteps coming toward you and you looked up. Your heart broke inside your chest at his expression. He was shocked and hurt, and there were already tears in his eyes. Just as there were in yours. 

“Can I walk you out?” you whispered. 

“Yeah,” he said numbly. 

You walked with him out to the lobby and through the front door, where a car was waiting for him. But before you led him to it, you pulled him aside and stopped. 

“I’m so sorry,” you choked out. 

“I…” he trailed off and cleared his throat. “I dunno what to even say right now.”

“I know,” you replied. “But yesterday when you told me you love me, I just realized that I wasn’t in the same place. My connections with the others are just further along and stronger, and I have to follow that.”

“I understand,” he said with a sniffle, and he wiped away a tear that had started down his cheek. 

“I care for you so deeply, Taron,” you said, sobbing as you spoke his name. “You’re such a special person, and you deserve someone who can give back to you everything you offer.”

Tears were streaming down both your faces now. 

“I’m just so sorry I can’t give that to you,” you continued. 

He pulled you into his arms. You remembered vividly that day at Disney, and all the times he held you. How you felt about him in that moment. It made you ache. You stood with him for several moments, just weeping together. 

“I’m sorry too,” Taron said. “I was hoping...I really wanted to be your husband, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “You were so brave to come here and risk your heart. I hate that I’m the one breaking it.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “You’re doing what you need to. And I just want you to be happy, Y/N. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

You sobbed harder, clutching a handful of his shirt. You weren’t quite ready to let him go. Even though you were sure of your decision. Even though he told you not to be, you told him again how sorry you were. There was nothing else to say. 

Taron had the strength to finally part and start heading toward the car. You still cried as you went with him. He stopped at the door and kissed your forehead. 

“So much luck,” he said gently, his voice gravelly. 

“You too,” you replied. “Goodbye, Taron.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He opened the door and slid into the backseat. You closed it behind him and watched him go, carried away from you forever. You looked on until the tail lights were no longer visible in the night. You were gutted. 

Taron, inside the car, looked at the camera. Once he was no longer in front of you, he completely broke down. Sobs racked his body. His shoulders shook. 

“I just can’t believe this,” he croaked when he had calmed down. “I was really in love with her - I am still. I just didn’t think it would end this way. I really...I really thought it would be me and her at the end of this.”

He wiped his eyes some more. He couldn’t look back now. All dreams of you had to be put aside. He just hoped he would be able to feel again what he felt for you. 

Once Taron was gone, you shivered. Alone and sad, you returned to the remaining men. You noticed they were all pretty bummed too. Taron was well-loved, not just by you, but by them as well. Even though it bettered their odds for your heart, it was hard to see him go. 

“Thank you all for being so patient,” you said. “That was really difficult for me and the decisions only get harder from here.”

A beat passed and you took a breath. 

“That being said, I really am excited to meet your families and see where we can go from here,” you said. 

You raised a glass, which Chris had given to you upon your return. 

“To hometowns!” you cheered. 

“Hometowns!” they echoed.

[forffax]

give me the aced attorneyed takes friendo

THANK U FRIENDO,,, aced tourney on the brain

favorite female character

HM.... man there’s so many!!! maya obvs is so fuckin good watching her open up and her good natured bullying of nick and her lesbianism,,, love her so much! all of the family shit she goes though... she rlly only has nick and pearl as far as family even if mia is watching over her and despite that she is so damn strong!! love maya 

ALSO TRUCY,,, everything abt her from her design to her and nick taking care of each other to her still maintaining a childlike innocence through a (understandably) v rough childhood? she’s so good Ultimate Daughter and i would kill and die for her 

special mentions to franziska, kay, pearl, and ema!!!! they’re all v good as well :)

favorite male character

mr. miles edgeworth i love you more than most fictional characters from any media i’d die and kill for you sir. his character arc being the driving force behind the first game and his gradual growth throughout the rest of the series, especially the culmination in aai2.... fucking superb i am close to tears thinking abt it!! emotionally stunted but extremely fatherly law men make me :cryingcat:

i love phoenix but for a long time i just kinda ignored his characterization in aj but after reconciling the two as The Same Phoenix i guess i have a better appreciation for his character? he’s a good dad and just a bit stupid i love him

apollo justice makes me lose it but also i kinda ignore all the plot that happened in aa5-aa6 just bc i Don’t Like Those Games Much so rlly my opinion is based on aa:aj! his biting sarcasm and general goofyness really make him seem WAY younger than aa1 phoenix which i like! also he’s gay and trans 

favorite book/season/etc

u know before u streamed aai 2 i would’ve said that my favorite game was apollo justice but now? ace attorney investigations 2 is honestly a game that any aa fan needs to at least watch through at least once that game actually changed me as a person

favorite episode (if its a tv show)

oh him this is a hard one too!! as far as the original trilogy it’s probably either farewell, my turnabout (2-4) or bridge to the turnabout (3-5)! bridge to the turnabout especially is such a good conclusion to the trilogy, not to mention Edgeworth Defense Attorney makes me lose it (he wore the badge!!! he wore the fucking badge!!!!)

conversely farewell my turnabout,,, adrian deserved better and even though we got her cleared of suspicion in the end the fact that we had to accuse her and bring all that to light anyways always made me feel awful which! is how you’re supposed to feel abt it!! it’s such a good case in how it rlly makes u (as nick) question your ideals! and then the duality between phoenix struggling to find his answer and deal with a lose-lose situation and miles being resolute in his new core beliefs,,,, it’s fucking tastey 

ALSO KEY POINTS

- but the miracle.... never happen 

- censored penis lobster

cannot discount turnabout goodbyes either! basically last cases of aa games are generally so so good!!

favorite ship

DOES IT NEED TO BE SAID..... phoenix wright and miles edgeworth are married and in love!! also a big fan of klapollo, franmaya, and junithena! 

character I’d die defending

klavier deserves to work through his awful awful trauma and is a genuinely fantastic character i wish capcom loved him as much as i do instead of reducing him to a one-case-per-game cameo character!! he just deserves resolution at the very least please!!! same with apollo that man cannot be okay after All That 

also ron delite did nothing wrong he’s one of my fav defendants

character I just can’t sympathize with

GODOT MISOGYNIST PRIDE i hate him i really do 

kristoph is also The Worst i’d kill him myself if i could 

COMPLETELY ERASED THEM FROM MY BRAIN BUT LIKE 90% OF THE BIG BERRY CIRCUS IS AWFUL THEY’RE SO BAD moe and regina can stay though they’re cool. man what is it with aa and clowns 

character I grew to love

oh i hated franziska when i started jfa but by the end i loved her!!! she’s the best

ALSO. seb and justine from aai2..... amazing how like a few lines can re-contextualize how u think and feel abt characters but i love them both so dearly!!! bring them all back i would like to see them 

anti otp

NARUM*YO BAD!!!! IT’S BAD TODD!!!

[onewfantaesy]

not about parselmouth au, but about your aus in general: I'm curious, out of all the aus you have written about, which ones are your favorites?

Oh. Hmmm, that’s a tough one. I have so many at this point it’s hard to remember all of them off the top of my head.

But I LOVE secret boyfriends au. It’s one of my absolute favorites. It’s just so. High school? So fun? So angsty? Idk, there’s just something abt it that I love. It’s taekai being cute high school sweethearts. Secretly.

There’s also farm boy au! A Classic. So old. So good. So full of angst. Taemin becomes a good little cowboy with Jinki as a guide and JongHo as cowboy bullies. Taemin literally rides a horse. 10/10.

I like bard au even tho it’s kinda niche. It’s a dragon age inspired au. ot5 are bards in Orlais. Taemin is half-elf. They kill people 🤷🏼‍♀️

I really enjoyed the newer cubicle au! Inspired by my daily cubicle work life! But a million times more exciting than my actual life lol.

Uncle Yunho au was so angsty and sad at times, it was good. It started out as like a bullet point headcanon thing that I never actually planned on writing but I think I got an ask for it like?? Years later?? And I just went with it.

I absolutely positively completely love Step teacher au. It was just fun. Taemin being both angsty and goofy. There’s just something abt it I love dearly.

Dozen au is a fucking hot mess of an au but it’s so bad it’s good??? Taemin is the Ultimate Middle Child but still an idol and it’s just chaotic and terrible in my favorite sort of way.

Dysfunctional family au is like my original “Taemin’s sister is actually his mom” but the sister was Jessica from SNSD and they’re all still idols. So my first idol au where it happens to him I suppose. I think the actual first au where he has a secret parent is:

Middle school au. There’s nothing rly now that particularly draws me to it, but I’m pretty sure it was the first time I wrote a “Lunew are Taemin’s parents but he thought they were his sister & brother-in-law” au, so I have to give credit where it’s due. It’s one of my favorite tropes now. Idk why exactly, it’s just so angsty.

I hope that’s not too many!! I quickly got carried away. Anyways, I’ll tag all of these so u can use that to find the AUs if you’re interested! I’m sure there are plenty of amazing AUs I forgot about, but let me know if u have an absolute fav u love that I didn’t mention here!! I’d love to know what stands out to you guys from this blog lol

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[gingersprites]

Robb and Catelyn pls 🥺

Robb:

How I feel about this character

Baby Boy!! I love him dearly, he’s easily one of my top favs- which is surprising considering that he’s a non POV character in the books, but the POV characters who know him paint such a description of him that I almost forget he doesn’t have any of his own chapters!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Margaery, Theon, Jeyne W, Talisa, Dany… I don’t actually have a romantic OTP for him, so pretty much all of my Robb ships are conditional.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I also enjoy some platonic Theon and Robb interactions, especially when they were kiddos. Oh, and Sansa! I feel like the two of them were especially close growing up; as the eldest son and daughter, they had a lot of the same burdens and expectations placed on them, so they probably related to each other the most. Had Robb lived, between his military knowledge and her political savvy, the two of them together would’ve been a force to be reckoned with!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I too would’ve risked it all to sleep with Oona Chaplin, so book purists who freak about that show change can fuck off.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

That he didn’t die lol? Is that too much of a cop out? I would have wanted him to cut Joffrey’s head off and give it to Sansa on a platter.

Catelyn:

How I feel about this character

The ultimate milf, unfairly hated by so many! Cat is fascinating to me in that she’s best known for being a mother, but she bucks many of the stereotypical “motherly” requirements: she refuses to stay quietly at home like the proper grieving widow, and is filled with rage at the suffering inflicted on her family; screw “forgive and forget”, she wants vengeance! She’s also not shown to be overly affectionate or coddling towards her children, yet in everything she does you can tell that she loves them fiercely and will sacrifice everything for them.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Ned! And… that’s pretty much it. An arranged marriage with an extremely rocky start, yet they come to build a beautiful family and partnership. They’re such an underrated pairing, but I love them so much! Somewhere out there is the 100k nedcat slowburn of my dreams….

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cat and Brienne had an interesting dynamic that I wish we could’ve seen more of. They’ve only known each other for a short time, but Cat instinctively trusts her; which probably means the world to Brienne, who’s so starved for validation from other women.

My unpopular opinion about this character

She didn’t owe Jon shit, and it’s absurd and sexist to demand that she mother him, especially considering that he was a very real threat to her children’s safety.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Saying “not dying” again definitely feels like a cop out, so: for the show, I wish we could’ve seen Michelle Fairley as Lady Stoneheart, she would’ve rocked the shit outta that. For the books, I hope we get to see her reunite with at least one of her kids and get some peace before she dies.

Give me a character and I’ll break their ass down.

[stilesssolo]

I must say, your take on Jon's relationship with the siblings are amazing. I can't begin to tell you how annoyed I get when people ignore Bran and Rickon's existence or make Jon and Sansa rivals or whatever just to make sure the j*nsa ship is dead or make her a villain trying to get rid of Dany for no reason whatsoever and the only ones that shows up are Arya and Robb in the whole story. One my fav scenes is the winterfell dinner because we can see how much they care for each other. You did good

Thank you 💕💕 My beta @anneshirlei LOVES Sansa dearly so when I asked her to edit this story for me, I assured her that I was going to write Sansa in a realistic way without vilifying her at all, while still presenting her as a complex character of her own with faults and flaws and all that. I don’t ship J*nsa romantically AT ALL (obviously lol) but I’ve always thought their dynamic was really interesting and I definitely wanted to dive deeper into it in this fic. And honestly, up until s8 I really liked Sansa. She was never my favorite, but I enjoyed her as a character and was rooting for her (and obviously I will attribute my distaste for her in s8 to the absolutely horrific writing for her and every other character on the show.) 

Tbh in a modern world where there isn’t war and devastation and ruling classes and tyrants to the extent of the show, I don’t see why all the siblings can’t be close. Like... what reason would Jon and Sansa have to be rivals in this universe, lol? They’re not in the middle of a huge political power struggle here. And vilifying Sansa just to make Dany seem better seems pointless to me in a world where they’re not dealing with political and military campaigns. Also I’m not sexist trash like D&D and I acknowledge that girls can be friends with each other 😂 

The Stark Family Dinner was a HARD scene to write because I hate writing dialogue between like more than three people lol but ultimately it’s one of the scenes that I love the most. Even though Bran and Rickon aren’t in this fic as much as the other Starks, I still wanted to make sure I included them in the parts that took place in Winterfell and illustrated their relationships with the rest of their siblings as well. I am so glad you are enjoying getting to read about all of their connections with each other :) There is still lots of Stark Sibling moments before this story is over, which I am very excited for!! :)

[kennothythebard]

5, 9, 11, 14, 18, 19, 26, 39, 45 (farmer refuted is pretty famously the "disliked" song in hamilton, do you like it or do you just like that one line?)

holy moly thats a lotta questions! answers under the read more bc its longggg

5. favorite fics?

oh boy i have to choose favorites???? alrighty then, they were kids that i once knew still haunts me in the best way (dear evan hansen, massive warning for character death), quite aware of what they’re going through and laugh like me again are from a weird period when i was reading breakfast club fanfic (the first is a reimagining, the second is a continuation) and i really like them both, and im just now realizing i didnt do a lot of fic reading towards the end of the decade so i cant remember which fics impacted me (mostly if i want a fic of some dynamic i write it myself lmao). But a reylo fic is pretty iconic

9. favorite tv shows?

The Good Place and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend are both incredible comedies, also Brooklyn 99, and though its a terrible terrible anime i literally cannot stop watching kakegurui (though for anime i also loved watching ouran high school host club, carole and tuesday, yuri on ice and ore monogatari)

And then of course theres steven universe which is on its own level, legend of korra, gravity falls, she-ra (pls dont let me down), over the garden wall, and infinity train (pls dont let me down season 2) and im probably forgetting a lot of shows i love

11. favorite lines/lyrics from anything that you just want to share?

if i listed all of them id never stop listing them, so here are just a few:

“And ultimately I believe we’ll be okay/It’s so cliche to say these things but repetition is a key” from “Ultimately” by khai dreams

“I’m just a drink away from honesty/so who knows what’s true?” from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench (and of course while we’re on MT, the entire bridge from dearly departed kills me dead each time)

“I’m not bitter, I’m just tired/No use getting angry at the way that you’re wired” from “Guiltless” and “I promise you/It’ll all make sense again” from “Secret for the Mad” both by dodie

“If we dissolved without a trace/would the real world even care?” and “Reality is a lovely place/but I wouldn’t wanna live there” from “The Real World” by Owl City

“Let me go, it’s okay/Let me go/And if I fall/I’ll fall safely” from “Safely” by MALINDA (that entire song tbh is so incredible) (oh also “Whose face is in the mirror today?/Is it me or am I in the way” from “Music Box” also by malinda) and i better stop before i just list the entire discography of all my fav artists. and thats without getting into musical theater, or even non music lines.

14. favorite celebrities?

in general i try not to get too attached to celebrities but to name a few I casually support, Rebecca Sugar, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Adam Young (Owl City), and Rachel Bloom.

18. a fandom you are glad you are no longer part of?19. a fandom that you had the best time in?

superwholock for the former (your fave is problematic lmao)

i actually still enjoy steven universe and the dear evan hansen fandom, and I loved being in the Love, Simon fandom when that was a thing. and I love being in the SCP fandom (well, more like writing for the site but whatever same diff). ultimately ive found my experience in fandom is determined by how i interact with it (i.e. dont attach your personality too strongly to a fandom, srsly. bad idea), and by participating vaguely and in moderation for these fandoms.

26. favorite look you had?

my current look is my best look. Plaid shirts, rainbow converse, bright dyed hair, hella pins, i look the best and the gayest i ever have right now

39. a heated but ultimately irrelevant debate with friends that you won?

i legit cant remember any. i guess my brother stopped trying to make “outer sporce” a thing but that wasnt super heated.

45. farmer refuted is pretty famously the "disliked" song in hamilton, do you like it or do you just like that one line?

I’m sorry, people dont like farmer refuted?????!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!! its so clever and well written and i love it. For shame! FOR SHAME!!!!

look at that! i managed to answer every question without even mentioning your username! happy new year!

[snarksonomy]

😍: Which OC is your favorite? Unexpected favorite?

I love all of them in their own way, which I know isn’t a proper answer but… HM. Let me reflect on my favorites, and why I do!  (Under a cut, because I talk too much sometimes.)

Klimma - My silly goat, and lovable chaotic mess of a shaman. She was the character that got me back into RPing after having taken a long hiatus from the pastime.   She was an experiment, a way to learn and immerse myself in WoW’s lore as I was still learning it myself. And how better than with someone who had literally crash landed onto the planet?She was a lighthearted but deeply kind character, and watching herself sacrifice herself again and again for those she loves was at times both heartening and heartbreaking.  She was also deeply flawed, as so many of my characters tend to be, and those moments of seeing those vulnerabilities and contradictions were always some of my favorite times playing her.Also, her friendship with Settana is just… affectionate and playfully antagonistic.  Idk. More headcanon’d than ever actually really RP’d out, it’s still one of my fondest memories of the character, tbh.Nalette - She was a challenge to myself.  Until Nalette, I had stuck to playing only one character, and any attempts I had made at alts just… hadn’t caught on - but in the later days of Cataclysm, I needed to do something different or I was going to drift off from the game entirely.So I rolled an Elf: quel’dorei, because I was still staunchly against playing Horde at the time. Without Nalette, there would be no Elf Storage. And I wanted to do stuff I had never really done with a character. I made her wholly average to her race in appearance - and as unlike Klimma as I could imagine. Sly, cautious, secretive, sheltered. Calculating.   And then I tossed her into the world. Watching her grow, change, and ultimately become the character she did is one of my great joys from all my years playing WoW.   She wasn’t always an easy character to play - her motives and intentions were complicated and not always kind… but man. Yeah.  I’ve since retconned the later parts of her story, but the middle parts. The betrayals and drama that happened between the end of Cata and the Purging of Dalaran. Man. Some of my favorite, and most heartrenching, RP. Ever.Tamany - You know that “Starts kind of goofy and gets darker as the story progresses” post that goes around every once in a while? Tams. That’s Tams. She was meant as a goof-off character. Someone I could hop onto and socialize with a wider range of folks than I really could with Nalette, get into casual situations and RP. A courier, a loudmouth - someone always bumming a smoke.I had a few ideas about her past - She was originally intended to be a politically radical character, bucking against the system in Silvermoon – though only part of that ever really came to light, in RP. And why.   She was a girl haunted as much by things placed in her own brain and the aftermath of watching her whole world fall down around her when the Scourge swept in. By things she had seen, and done - and rebelled and run away from. A girl chased by imaginary monsters until a real one caught her.And then she became a monster, too.Her story is a weird mix of tragedy and comedy - surrounded by folks equally as dangerous, that have been both family and enemy in some cases. I love her dearly. (Her FFXIV version has been spared a lot of the tragedy her WoW version went through, and is an entirely different character in some ways. T’many is lighthearted and goofy and complicated in her own ways. I like having both versions.)Emirenne - Emi was made because I was tired of the “Lawful Good Characters are Boring” idea that circulates.   So there she was. An overeager aspirant of the Blood Knights. Someone that believed in the ideals and restoration of her people, and protecting others at all costs.  That the world, broken as it was, deserved saving and she wanted to be the righteous shield that helped to do that. She was kind and warm and overly earnest and stubborn as all hell. Someone who loved so much, and tried to care for everyone else, even as her own world was falling down around her, and her own demons threatened to swallow her up sometimes. And she was a joy to play, even when her convictions led her down paths I hadn’t originally intended for her. She’s a character I’m still on the fence about playing anymore, especially due to certain, uh, similarities with an Overwatch character that I still can’t quite get over.  But if any of my characters did inspire someone else, I am glad it was Emirenne. ;)Milloux -  I made Milloux as my first native-to-FFXIV character. Until that point, I had played mostly played an FFXIV version of Nalette. Buuut, I wanted to stretch out a little. I wanted to play with the bounty hunter-with-a-heart-of-gold trope - the hard-drinking, gun-slinging (though by the time I got her to HW content I’d lost interest in leveling machinist,) brawler with a shady past and good intentions.   I wanted to play someone tough, and apply a lot of what male characters get away with freely to a woman.I… never expected her to become the character she has, and how much she’s both strayed from that original vision and grown into her own version of what I had intended. She’s been defined by hardship, loss, grief and the bad decisions borne thereof. But also tenacity, and kindness. I never expected her to be such a warm character, who loves as fiercely as she fights to protect what little she considers hers. Watching her grow and build friendships and connections that I could have never foreseen for her when I made her is amazing.She is someone at once intensely private and secretive and guarded, but has these moments of earnest awkwardness as she navigates the world far above the station she was raised in, which is such a complete…it’s fun. She is someone wrought entirely of contradictions, and it’s amazing to play.Three years ago, I would have never imagined she’d be the leader of a charitable organization by day and a some-times vigilante by night. But…here we are and writing her story is an absolute joy. (That, and her relationship w/ @heretic-borne , in all of it’s complicated glory, is one of my fav things.)