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bochedogmeat · 8 months ago
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Ok tumblr today I am going to ramble about something. It was discussed in the obikin discord i thinkkk probably about a year ago now? But:
Obligate cannibal stewjoni.
I figure thats not everyone’s jam, so more about biological logistics and how that applies to our good friend Obi-wan below the cut vv
So I know the biology surrounding an obligate cannibal would have to be kind of funky but basically in my mind the prion diseases that would kill irl humans provides a necessary nutrient in stewjoni lifeforms. Perhaps two or more separate humanoid species are the only living things left on the planet after its other meat sources have been hunted to extinction, leaving only the humanoid species left. Maybe a herbivore group vs a group of obligate carnivores? Or maybe it’s just one carnivorous group that utilizes slavery/human husbandry/ human sacrifice? Regardless, it causes them to evolve over time into obligate cannibals. Or something. I offer you an obi-wan with pointed, ripping teeth and (optionally) nails that grow in naturally sharp.
I figure the temple provides Obi-wan with synthetic meat or supplement pills or something that has the added nutrients needed for a stewjoni initiate, so he never actually feels the craving for humanoid flesh until he gets put in a situation where those rations are not readily available to him. I also figure they probably give him special classes on his own biology so he knows how important it actually is to keep those rations/supplements on him at all times, but. You know. Shit just happens to Obi-wan LOL.
Qui-gon discovering a young Obi-wan on Melida-Daan wide eyed and drenched in blood, having gone without his supplements for too long for the first time and deciding that no, he will NOT in fact train this feral animal (he does infact begrudgingly train this feral animal). Qui-gon is wary of this boy, treats him like a dangerous animal that needs to be controlled, and in response, ever grateful for the chance to probe that he is not too wild to be domesticated, his padawan becomes just that. Obi-wan is the perfect jedi, you would scarcely know of his origin planet if not for those teeth (he files his nails down and smiles with his mouth closed. Nothing to be done for speaking, unfortunately.)
There is a significantly more upsetting, dead-dove rabbithole that could be followed regarding one Anakin Skywalker’s missing hand and a master that is Not Normal about his padawan, how something about the boy just makes his teeth itch for the hot, steady gush of fresh blood, but I digress. Im always down to talk about weird starwarse biology and even moreso about obligate cannibal obiwan, but I think I will leave this here for now… :3
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sennaverstappen · 1 year ago
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one underrated thing from max' first win is the fact that the og rbr golden boy was there on the podium with him. like i KNOW christian was going bonkers over that.
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molabuddy · 2 months ago
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recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing
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prokopetz · 8 days ago
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While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.
Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.
(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)
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surrealtiktoks · 19 days ago
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some-pers0n · 4 months ago
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Hey you ever think about The Characters so much to the point where
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shamefulzombie · 1 month ago
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Not Perfect
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onlytiktoks · 7 months ago
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oldtvandcomics · 1 month ago
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HEY GUYS!!
GUYS!!!
FRANCE HAS REACHED THE REQUIRED NUMBER OF SIGNATURES ON THE CITIZEN'S INITIATIVE AGAINST CONVERSION THERAPY IN THE EU!!
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ONE COUNTRY DOWN, SIX TO GO!!
We also need still quite a few signatures in order to reach the one million required.
As to date, the six other countries with the most signatures are:
Spain - 38.72%
Finland - 30.31%
Ireland - 24.86%
Netherlands - 24.15%
Germany - 23.54%
Belgium - 23.09%
So yeah, still a long way to go, but we ARE slowly getting closer. Don't stop now! Don't let this stay within the community, either, if you have any friends or family who are open to queer rights, get them to sign, too!
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drowninnoodles · 3 months ago
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Heh
thanks to @hannahdra-ws for quote, its very cursed indeed.
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menlove · 8 months ago
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interesting how transmascs & transfems alike think losing weight is the answer to pass as our chosen gender.... almost as if fat people are never Truly afforded a passing gender regardless of trans status. as fat people we are never Truly seen as Men or Women. anyway fuck that notion & if u think u need to lose weight to pass that's the devil talking
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1percentcharge · 2 months ago
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tweets like this are my pet peeve. just throwing silly words together in a way that’s supposed to sound hyperspecific but does not in fact evoke anything recognizable
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keithbutgay · 4 months ago
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hi!
um
yeah
notes goal post
because i really need motivation
(i stole some of these but shhhhh)
if this post gets 50 notes i'll drink water right now
100 i'll go to bed at midnight for the rest of the week
200 i'll actually do my laundry
500 i'll take a shower every day for the rest of the week
1,000 i'll brush my teeth every night for a full week
2,000 i'll stop binding for an unhealthy amount of time for a full week
3,000 i'll start actually wearing my ankle braces consistently
4,000 i'll eat breakfast every day for the rest of the week
5,000 i'll stop binding while sleeping
6,000 i'll stop wearing earrings i'm allergic to for a full week
7,000 i'll start doing makeup again
8,000 i'll stop eating chocolate for the rest of the week
9,000 i'll make my autodale masks
10,000 i'll touch grass every day for the rest of the month
11,000 i'll water my plants twice a week for the rest of the month
12,000 i'll put on my lotion when i need to for a full week
13,000 i'll eat at least two meals every day for the rest of the week
14,000 i'll finish my water bottle every day for a full week
15,000 i'll write more for forest files
18,000 i'll clean out my backpack
19,000 i'll take my vitamins every day for the rest of the week
20,000 i'll finish my stained glass project
21,000 i'll go to bed before midnight for the rest of the week
22,000 i'll do my summer reading
23,000 i'll move the knife out of my room
24,000 i'll eat three meals every day for three days
25,000 i'll stop purposefully triggering myself for a full week
50,000 i'll try my best to stay clean for two full weeks
i'll probably add more goals if this somehow get past 5k, but there it is for now :)
spam allowed
tagging allowed
ummm the deadline is halloween
*thumbs up*
go for it
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oobbbear · 2 months ago
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Alone Together au! Where both Ford and Fiddleford fall through the portal
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30 years after + first fall through
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They fell through the portal after Fidd left Ford and before Stan arrives, that middle period where Ford is haunted by bill and going crazy.
Fiddleford went back after the incident trying one last time to warn Ford but instead they got into a fight actives the portal get sucked in and you know the rest.
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mejkosmos · 3 months ago
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whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH
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bonus !!
ford about bill:
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bill about ford:
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