#mental mess
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I might be fictional. - John Green
#TATWD#Turtles all the way down#John Green#Quotes#anxiety#thought spiral#quotes#mental mess#aza holmes#derealization#fiction
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"Ghosts of Depression: Displaced from My Own Life"
Life’s lessons often slip through unnoticed, and now, in this moment, I see the harshest of them all. Less than a year ago, my home wasn’t just a place to live—it was a sanctuary, a testament to the life my boyfriend and I had built together. For eight years, we thrived, with new cars, a stable home, and a sense of happiness that came from overcoming life’s challenges together. There were ups and…
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I wish I wouldn't be angry anymore
Then I could write poetry, sing songs
Listen to my heart and be where it belongs
But I can't because I'm at war
You don't see this war, little bird
But it's there; believe me
Peace is what I've preferred
But I can't live without it; I'll never be free
The War, the blood, the screams
It's all what I can dream
Because I know nothing
It was written in my DNA, in my blood
Afterall.
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whatever *domesticates your Carnivàle Lecroux*
#my art#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#loa#ouaw#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#torbek#hootsie grimgrin#twig toadspring#everyone got kicked out after the inevitable mess that torbek and gricko made#do not mess with kremy's kitchen okay#and yes gideon is stealing the cookie for twig she could not wait#it's my mental illness and i get to choose how to cope#and 90% of time it's with fluff#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I
(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7#twisted wonderland book 7 part 7 spoilers#and so ends the saga#(this time for real i promise)#malleus post-episode 7: shroud...i should have heeded your warnings...now tell me more about how i may hunt this elusive 'snipe'#alas poor puppies :( i'm glad they had a little aside about how they can fix them after this whole mess#let ortho have his dogs!#man i love that this has come down to malleus vs technology though#MY FAVORITE#ortho: you can destroy the shell that links me to this mortal world...but can you select the CORRECT DOWNLOAD LINK???#malleus: (downloads a billion viruses and dies instantly)#also i'm probably the only one who thinks idia complaining about his own mental tartarus prison is funny#but there we go#idia has two modes and two modes only#he's either in the middle of a metaphor where he finally forgives himself for his brother's death and takes charge of his own destiny#or he's like 'fuck yeah i'm about to get isekai'd into the internet! (immediately falls over making dying whale sounds)'#wait no he has a third mode: actively suffocating because silver and sebek won't stop squishing him#look he's just delightful no matter what's going on okay
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Reminder. Somedays, you'll cry until your face hurts. There will be other days, though. Days where you'll laugh until your face hurts.
#mood#text post#inspiration#reminder#ocd#mental health#earlier this week i was a crying mess after an ocd spiral#tonight though i had a great time and laughed so much#my post
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Being a creative with adhd is so weird because you want to make things so badly but your brain is just refusing to, so you’re just stuck there replaying the exact scene or piece of dialogue or drawing or cinematic shot in your mind while not actually being able to do anything. But at the same time the adhd is actively giving you unique creative experiences and ideas and it feels like a fundamental part of you as an artist. It’s such an interesting dichotomy of feeling the thing that you want to make so strongly and wanting nothing more than to just pour it all out but also being completely unable to do it, and that coming from the same source. But then also you have to live through said dichotomy and it just becomes completely and overwhelmingly exhausting.
#adhd stuff#I have so much to say on writing and how my adhd and general neuroticism affects it#like even aside from the executive dysfunction and depressive episodes and processing issues that also mess up my ability to write or draw#this feels like such a core mental illness experiences for me idk#actually adhd#mental illness
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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Mental Eelness
#The Little Mermaid#tlmedit#thelittlemermaidedit#The Little Mermaid Series#Disney +#Mental Eelness#Mentally Eel#Flotsam and Jetsam#Ursula#Ursula The Sea Witch#My Gif#disneyedit#Disney#Paddi Edwards#Pat Carroll#Mess With Me#Ursula's Lair#Based on that Mental Eelness meme lol
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Something about older Jason looking at the child version of himself, the innocent victim, and feeling the need to defend and avenge him the way no one else will. They'll call him reckless and try to pin the blame for his death on some unique failure of his personality, the problem isn't Robin the problem is he was just a bad fit for Robin! And then older Jason coming back to life and spits on their twisted grief. Fuck you, that innocent child deserved more. You took his memory and ruined it to make yourselves feel better. If no one will give him justice then Jason will take it himself no matter who he has to kill to get there. It's the only way he can move forward.
Something about older Cass looking at this child version of herself, this innocent who has no idea what she was doing when she was tricked into killing, and finding her irredeemable. She will forgive everyone for everything if they need a second chance but she cannot forgive that innocent child. She spends ten years wanting that child to die for their sin, a standard she holds no one else to. And in the end she does have to die. She can never forgive that child until the price has been paid and the guilty, tormented, suicidal mess of a girl is dead and never coming back. Only then can Cass live on. Only then can she smile without feeling the weight of her kill on her back. If no one will give that child the justice they deserve then she will have to do it herself. It's the only way she can move forward.
#dc#cassandra cain#dc rambles#Jason Todd#They're so messed up in such fun inverted ways#Everyone's always like oh what would Robin Jason think of red hood but I think what red hood thinks of Robin#Is equally as important#Likewise baby cass would most likely feel relief that someday she escapes the all consuming self hatred#And older Cass would feel... A lot. Regret she spent so long hating this child. Grief for what she was tricked into doing.#But I don't think she's ever fully going to get rid of all that cold hatred. That emotion that let's her look at her 8 year old self#And sentence them to death. Only them. No one else. Because people are good deep down but this child is rotten.#She's so mentally ill and relatable <3#It's not even recognisable hatred because it's so clinical and all consuming. She doesn't hate herself she just believes she deserves to di#What do you mean that's a sign of self hatred Barbara don't be silly she's perfectly fine.
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Mental Health Tip! Don't skip meals lest you be fighting demons
#Big Hero 6#BH6#Hiro Hamada#au stuff#uhhhh#cw existential dread#I guess? Not really the exact emotion expressed in this specific instance but it is the overall issue#something something Hiro survivors guilt he keeps avoiding because that's a whole nastier can of worms than standard grief#“I'm moving on from Tadashi's death so I'm almost good!” he says meanwhile the EVERYTHING ELSE is still waiting to be unpacked#Cus like fun fact about grief caused by loss bet money that grief is not going to be the only thing you gotta work on healing#humans brains are really funky about death especially when it happens spontaneously when you least expect it#Anyway reminder that self care and mental health is not linear there are days you think you're good and then you Find Out#but that's okay#so yeah this was supposed to be a quick warm up doodle for another drawing but I ended up messing around with it and now its a thing#I did find a new way of sketching I think I like so we'll see how it goes#been busting out the solid 3px pen I used to used back in 2018 when I started drawing art for the series that's been fun#god bless tags man great for yappers
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do you look like the devil, Brian?
#brian pasternack#yuppie psycho#indie horror game#rpg maker#rpg horror#baroque decay#this took me…almost two years to finish LOL#really happy with it!#mentally im doing good too so this has been super fun to wrap up#i love yuppie psycho it wont leave my brain!?#HELP I SCHEDULED THIS IN EARLY APRIL BUT FOR SOME REASON IT WAS PLANNED TO POST IN 100 YEARS?!#i think tunglr messed up the calculation cuz i was posting under a different year calendar#have a double post man idk how that messed up so bad
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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after yesterday's picture i realised that almost every time i draw jgy he looks like he's about 5 seconds away from a breakdown so i figured i should give him a nap for once
#mdzs#jin guangyao#jgy#nieyao#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#my art#this was meant to be quick and then i started having too much fun messing around with colouring#i'm never letting go of jgy with nie braids i'll hold onto that forever#me a fool about to run face first into a wall of discourse: gonna go into the jgy tag now that I've got him on the brain :D#find some fun cute art-- D:#[principal skinner voice] good lord what is happening in there#anyway i have sensibly retreated from the tags and shall return to rotating my blorbos exclusively in my own mental microwave
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So much old art I never posted.
#teen wolf#sterek#eternalsterek#stiles stilinski#derek hale#konpyuutart#I wnted to fix the errors and touch them up a bit.... that was the plan in summer 2023 LOL yeah#who would have thought bad mental health can mess things up#(shocked pikachu face)
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my tumblr isn't even a blog, it's just a hideous amalgamation of all my hyperfixations from the last decade.
#and I am not ashamed#it's beautiful and probably not good for my mental health but#I'm not going anywhere#aesthetic#pastel#lyrics#taylor swift#midnights#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#mac miller#the 1975#soft grunge#pop punk#my blog is a mess#but I wouldn't have it any other way#music#heartstopper#mayday parade#all time low#paramore#controversial times were had in my tags#but they were fun times#adhd problems#adhd#posted: 2022
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