#have a double post man idk how that messed up so bad

[porrigens]

do you look like the devil, Brian?

[stars-tonight]

Hiii, can I request a scenario or headcanon, idk what it’s called really😅. You know know how you have the match ups request and the other one. That’s the one I mean you know 😭

Characters: atsumu, suna

So my cousins and I sometimes get together and play volleyball casually. We play at friendly tournaments against other teams it’s nothing official or serious really. But my cousins and I get together to practice cause we lowkey suck

So my request is how would Atsumu and Suna be if their significant other invited them to play volleyball casually with her family? Like would they take it a little too seriously and really want to win? Would they call in their teammates to the team as reinforcements? Do they go coach mode? Idk what else😋

My emoji🍓

PLAYING VOLLEYBALL "CASUALLY" (FT. MIYA ATSUMU, SUNA RINTARŌ)

miya atsumu

🕊️ unfortunately, he's never used "casual" and "volleyball" in the same sentence before

🕊️ his first serve he goes back and absolutely whips it

🕊️ if you're playing outside in your backyard, it definitely bounces over the fence and into the neighbor's yard

🕊️ you make atsumu get it

🕊️ if you're playing in a gym, it'll probably hit the ground and bounce so high it gets stuck in the ceiling or something

🕊️ like you know how there are sometimes wooden beams on the ceiling

🕊️ i'm so bad at describing but imagine it just gets stuck on one of those large ceiling fans or something

🕊️ and your whole family just stares at him until you go over and you're like "yo so this might be surprising but we're actually not national level players, it'd be really nice if you could maybe just take it easy?"

🕊️ unfortunately he still goes kinda hard after that but he tries to listen to you and tone it down a bit

🕊️ absolutely loves the praise he gets from your cousins when they first see his skills

🕊️ if you enter a tournament with him you're guaranteed to win

🕊️ if you enter like a doubles tournament he's automatically your partner

🕊️ if you enter a team tournament he'll probably call in osamu

🕊️ lowkey a ball hog 😭

🕊️ will probably only set to 'samu

🕊️ however he'll probably get a little annoyed once he realizes that you guys don't play on the same level as him

🕊️ will probably end up saying something mean without realizing it

🕊️ your cousins will probably dislike him a bit more after this

🕊️ atsumu plays volleyball to win, and he'll find a way to win even if it's a casual tournament

🕊️ maybe it's not the best idea to ask him to take it easy

suna rintarō

🕊️ actually could not be happier to play casually for once

🕊️ definitely will not go all out

🕊️ if you all take water breaks he'll just be scrolling on his phone

🕊️ although if you play in a tournament against other teams?

🕊️ man has a reputation to uphold

🕊️ he IS a national level player after all

🕊️ so if you're playing other teams (even if it's a tournament just for fun) he's blocking every ball

🕊️ will somehow do it without getting the least bit sweaty

🕊️ if you ask him how he's not sweaty, he'll respond with a snarky "it's not hard to block them"

🕊️ you have to believe him though because he's too lazy to actually put in effort which means he was just messing around and still blocked everyone

🕊️ his skill level is just that far above everyone else lol

🕊️ probably won't call in any backup

🕊️ he already has enough of the twins on a daily basis because they're on the same team and in the same year

🕊️ would rather just spend this time alone with you

🕊️ he'll probably warm up with an airpod in

🕊️ suna does play volleyball professionally post-timeskip so it's not like he doesn't like volleyball or is opposed to actually trying

🕊️ he just has a tendency to do just enough to get the job done

🕊️ and that's not different here

🕊️ he'll probably deny any requests for photos or autographs with fans (lol) because he's feeling like being a little shit

🕊️ or he'll sign his name and add a note:

🕊️ "your defense really could use some work"

🕊️ definitely posts you on his social media

A/N: there you go 🍓anon, i hope you liked it! thank you for requesting a fic, i loved writing with a prompt even though it takes me a long time to get started 🙈

[merakiui]

How is it that every time you write something, a ramble, a passing thought, a mention, of Trey I am reduced to a giddy mess. And for every post you make of him, you make me realise what my ideal man is and how down bad I am for this man. Idk maybe I'm in the same boat as you and it's because he's actually cunning and manipulative behind his "you can rely on me" exterior. Ugh he's so frustratingly hot. People believe that he's the "I'll have your daughter back by 10" type of guy, and he can be, but he's also the type of guy to call your parents and go "sorry I didn't bring them back earlier, it's been really busy lately, I promise to have them back tomorrow morning" and your parents wouldn't suspect a thing cause they know how responsible Trey is so of course they're okay with leaving you in good hands, all while said man is pounding into you, smiling down at your fucked out expression when he hangs up the phone. Now you two have the entire night to yourselves, all with your parents'permission :)

YES OMG...... it's actually so embarrassing how one mere thought of Trey is enough to have me doubled over. OTL I am down atrocious for him. He is the only twst guy who I would let knock me up in a heartbeat, even if his intentions are to baby-trap. Not even Azul has that power over me. This is just the Trey Effect. >_< I think it might be due to how smooth he is??? How the concept of domestic bliss applies so nicely to him. How completely safe and "normal" he appears compared to the other more suspicious individuals in the twst cast. How seamlessly he can manipulate you without appearing so obvious about it. He seems so sweet and caring and responsible (and he is), but he's also incredibly sneaky and you wouldn't even realize it.

Aaaaaa orz he absolutely is the type of boyfriend to keep you out past curfew and then use the excuse that the both of you were having so much fun that you didn't even realize the time had passed so quickly. But Trey's family is very trustworthy, as is Trey himself, so your parent(s) or guardian(s) can rest well knowing you're in good hands for the evening. And those hands are very good, so good at working you open, at prying your lips apart so you can suck on his fingers, at gripping your hips when he bottoms out in one thrust that has you seeing stars.

He's the type to fuck you just hours before your wedding, promising he'll be quick and it won't be too messy, competing with time just for the fun thrill of it. And he'll tease you with little things of what he'll do to you on your honeymoon, where the two of you can pick up where you left off just before the ceremony. >:)

Omg and if you're staying at the Clovers' house, you have to be quiet when he fucks you so you won't wake his siblings or his parents who are sleeping just a few doors down. AAAAAAA he brings you down to the bakery and fucks you against the counter so you can be just a little louder. You might assume he would be so boring and vanilla from a first glance assessment, but appearances are often deceiving. Trey continues to surprise and amaze.

[artistic-lj]

Okay so I “made” a new gender apathetic/apagender flag because the one I found/we have was just kinda lacking for me?? Like it’s okay and I don’t dislike it, but I thought it needed something

So the current one, according to gender fandom wiki or whatever (https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Gender_Apathetic), is by @pridearchive (idk why I can’t tag them but I also just don’t understand tumblr so oh well)

But anyway, I’m not a huge fan of the fact that a lot of the definition relies upon the usage of the word “lazy” a lot, because like, while it’s true that laziness and apathy are similar, they are not the same. I was confused for MONTHS as to why everyone around me cared so much about their gender, both cis and trans people, and I just didn’t. Like, I thought my dad might understand cause we talk about queer stuff all the time and he was like “???… but I am a man, that’s just a fact… are you saying there’s people who don’t care??” And that confused me more cause I was like “wait even cis people care that much about their gender expression??” Because for me, I thought that trans people really cared about their gender identity and expression because of the dysphoria they dealt with from being born as the opposite sex. So, to hear that cis people also have a strong sense of gender and really care about the way they present and are perceived threw me for a loop.

So I went down this rabbit hole for, as stated previously, MONTHS, just trying to figure out if anyone felt the way I did because I felt fucking crazy. No one else spoke about not caring about their gender identity, not caring if someone called them a guy or a girl or something in between. I found labels like Aporagender (“a gender identity that is neither masculine, feminine or inbetween the two but nonetheless involves a strong sense of gender; a term similar to maverique.” - https://en.pronouns.page/dictionary/terminology#aporagender) and genderfluid (“a gender that varies, or changes over time.” - https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Genderfluid) and bigender (“a gender identity which can be literally translated as 'two genders' or 'double gender'.” - https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Bigender) but none of them felt right, even if I liked their flags.

But then, out of frustration, I decided to google “what is it called when you don’t care about your gender” and gender apathetic popped up. And I read the description and I felt so… understood. I felt like, no matter how small the group was, I had finally found people who understood me and felt the way I did. And then, because I’m annoying and visual, I saw the flag… and I was just… feeling very… ehhh…

Like, the brown, purple/lavender/light blue, white, and gray on their own aren’t inherently bad, but something about it just felt bland and… nothing like the sense of relief I felt when discovering I wasn’t alone.

And then I clicked through onto the post about the meanings of each color and began to like it even less

But, I pushed forward, ignoring my dislike of the color arrangement and meanings behind them and sharing my newfound label/identity and flag with my friends. I finally felt like I had something I understood.

That is, until one night when I got bored. And I started searching for flag makers to see what was out there. I came across a Reddit post about a custom flag builder (https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/ooz3tb/custom_pride_flag_builder/) which lead me to Team Ultima’s custom pride flag maker: https://www.teamultima.org/flag/

Needless to say, as an artist and someone who’s nitpicky about colors and designs, I was stoked to find something that allowed so much creative control! After messing around with it for a bit, I made this:

Now, I know it’s not really that different from the current flag. But, to me, this feels a lot more balanced and cohesive. With the one by pridearchive, the “light blue,” which we all know is just lavender tbh, was the only color that had a bright saturation besides the white. Our eyes are naturally drawn to it and this does not allow our eyes to flow along the flag and take it all in. We kinda see the purple and get stuck there. Not only that, because we expect white to be in the middle of pride flags (as well as Im sure a lot of other color theory reasons that I’m not knowledgeable enough to know of or explain), the flag felt top heavy and uneven, with no equivalent saturated color along the bottom. The flag was lacking horizontal symmetry and I think/hope I did a good job of bringing it to this flag without it feeling like it’s too much or too little.

With all that being said here are my/the new and improved color meanings:

Brown - The natural human desire to find a sense of belonging and community, even if said community is formed around having a label for not caring about labels. It can also represent the warmth and security felt by having a label that represents how you truly feel.

Light Blue - A feeling of tranquility and peace towards one’s gender identity and expression

White - The limitless void of possibilities in which one can express themselves

Lavender - The mixture of all genders, feminine, masculine, neither, and everything in between

Gray - Lack of gender stagnation, not caring if one’s gender presentation is not as simple as black or white

Anyway, I’ve never posted anything like this before so… lemme know if I’m totally doing it wrong and all my color meanings are terrible and way off base or whatever. I’m gonna make a separate post of just the flag and the color meanings and whatever so that people don’t have to read all my dumb backstory to get to the actual “redesign” 💅💅

[blue-unifox]

For the character ask thing, I'm gonna drop two on you, if that's okay! #1, Hedwyn from Pyre!

Thanks to tumblr for yeeting my post into oblivion so i have to redo this again 👍

First impression

I mean his first impression is among the best, he is kind and caring from get-go, he is a ray of sunshine, best boy in the downside etc etc. Though i think I've had too many expectations?? And my friend hyping him up just contributed to that lmao.

Impression now

I like him a lot! Just not enough for him to live rent-free in my head... The boy's a little basic idk lmao. I mean, objectively, he is the best, he's so kind, driven, gives good advice, has a little bit of that dark past too... Maybe he is too perfect to me to be studied under a microscope lmao. Though I've been re-evaluating characters, so maybe my opinion will change...

Favorite moment

Oh man there are many good ones (I don't think i can choose unimplemented scenes can I? that one moment where Hedwyn talks abt reading with the Reader is so cute)... I think my fave is when he asks the Reader how their journey's been so far. And every answer is great! If you say it's been rough, he gets so sad 🥺🥺🥺🥺Like, he's so sad his efforts to make your travels as comfortable as possible weren't enough... Then he gives a valuable life lesson! It's ok to not be able to fix everyone's problems, you gotta care about yourself too. I feel like this can be applied in a lot of situations in real life as well.

Idea for a story

Wellll... I don't have anything concrete... just some stray ideas is all. Like, maybe his life in the downside after he remained, maybe raising children, becoming a demon... dilf cough cough

Unpopular opinion

Idk, i feel like his relationship with Fikani in canon is so... empty?? Like, it can be developed, but as is it's just kinda sad tbh (maybe im just a skeptic but meeting your soulmate like that??? also it's implied it was a sex thing too so like double yikes for me lmao though maybe i judge too harshly idk...). So i prefer fan versions 🙃

Favorite relationship

Uhhh would it be bad if I double the Jodi mom here as well? 👉👈

I just think it can be very interesting, from his childhood up to now and in the future. I think having a mother like Jodi wasn't easy, and yet it's still a familial bond, they still care about each other despite the turbulent parts. I also like that fanfic where he met her for the first time hehe...

Favorite headcanon

That's a hard one... I don't really have a lot of headcanons about him, nor have I seen many as is... Does him being kinda messed up as a child counts (aka very sad)??? Feels like you can extrapolate that from canon tbh...

[theplatypusblue]

COMPILING ALL LEGENDS OF CHIMA SEASON 1 THOUGHTS BELOW THE READ MORE (super long post, written as I was watching)

(I can be a little mean but I promise I’m having fun lol)

Episodes 1 + 2:

Man this shits super boring.

Idk if I can get behind craggers plot line tbh. He’s too much of a dumbass for me to really root for him.

The lore seems really cool so far. I like the settings and the stuff about the legend beasts.

Like?? Forest full of trees that just fall down all the time? Epic.

Legend beasts are especially cool cuz it means this is how Chima characters react when seeing a regular ass lion for the first time:

Episode 3:

Man Laval really fucked everything up.

I have a feeling all of cragger’s dumbass-ness, like, transferred over to laval and now we’re gonna be seeing him making all the dumbass decisions

The only thing I really care about here is the b-plot about Gorzan and his flower. More engaging than the main plot

Episode 4:

Prediction about Laval replacing Cragger as the resident dumbass seems to be coming true

Gorzan is quickly becoming my favorite.

Oh hey look it’s the beavers!! I remember they show up in that one episode of ninjago. I had zero context for what they were all about then but now I know!!

Episode 5:

The gorilla tribe seems like the most chill out of everyone. Gorillas 👍

Can I just say I hate the fucking skunk. He sucks.

Honestly kind of a nothing episode

Episode 6:

Eagle spire does that cool thing where all the buildings are built on super scary precipices. There’s literally a post going around about this exact thing but I can’t find it rn

Oh so the eagles are just a bunch of nerds. A little weird I guess(?) I feel like eagles are usually symbols of strength n stuff so that’s different. It’s giving cloud kingdom.

“Wing girl” tf kinda nickname??

Apparently the ravens are double crossing everyone but I have not been paying close enough attention to what’s going on to really process that

Ok so it was all an extremely convoluted way for the crocs to get everyone to fight each other. And the ravens tried to profit but they’re kinda stupid so nothing really worked out for anyone

Episode 7:

Purble moon??? Epic

Man the bears are so epic just like me fr

Nooo don’t mess w the gorillas they’re so chill :(

I am entirely uninterested in the 100 year full moon skunk fart lore. Sorry.

It’s a little strange and maybe I’m hallucinating but I feel like the animation has has somehow gotten better?? Like the lighting or smthn…. Or the facial expressions???

Oh….. skunk fart lore is plot relevant………

Now that I’m thinking… is that the only skunk in chima?? Cuz rn it looks like just the one guy

Episode 8:

Oh it’s a big boy chi

There’s a fucking peacock?? Don’t know how to spell his name. So wait if he wins who does the chi go to?? He gets it all to himself?

Oh wait nvm it’s probably a cragger thing. Mr. Peacock comes back after retirement or w/ever in order to do some evil shit with the crocs I get it I get it

Gorzan I love you

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY?? Is it a pig? A warthog??? It’s giving Mr. E vibes.

Man idk this episode is structured rlly weirdly. Nothing really fit together very well. It’s alright tho.

Episode 9:

GORILLA EPISODE?? Let’s go dude

It funny cuz I feel like gorillas aren’t actually this mellow irl

STOP FUCKING WITH THE GORILLAS CRAGGER I’LL KILL YOU

Oh hey it’s our mystery mans. Oh nevermind he left again.

There are balloon plants?? Oh yeah those are the things they were using in the other episode. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention to anything else that happened.

Episode 10:

Uhh I forgot to take notes while watching uhhh

The fox guy was cute. I like a little fox guy

This episode managed to make me feel a little bad for cragger!! He wants to do a good job but he kinda sucks at everything :(

It also made me confused abt cruller!!! What are you doing w ur life girl!!!!

Kinda messed up how the wolves had to serve the crocodiles tho… probly for the best she threw away that pledge

If Laval’s dad is right when he says they’re not gonna race for chi for a long time, I’m guessing they’re not gonna do any more racing episodes for some time. That’s fine honestly.

WAIT THAT RHINO GUY’S DYING. Oh nvm. This whole situation is cringe I hope it’s a one-off thing….

Also I forgot everyone thinks craggers parents are dead but really they’re just chilling in that canyon. Kinda funny actually

Episode 11:

Oh man the wolves are fucking everything up

“We all gotta stay here till the walls are fixed” bruh just call the beavers or smthn

Man what is the deal with this shadow wind dude.

If there’s one similarity I could point out with ninjago, it’s all this talk abt ~the balance~. I guess it makes sense since they take place in the same universe, technically

These bears are so cute lol napping does solve everything so true

Episode 12:

Jets travel super fast in the air. If they’re going through a storm Laval should totally be dead by now

Cragger is setting boundaries!! We love to see it. Cruller is acting pretty cringe. In her ~~girlfailure era~~

Is Laval gonna fall in this gorge?? Oh yeah he’s gonna fall in this gorge

Noooo Gorzans underwear is gonna tear

It’s a little sweet how Laval still wants to help out cragger

Episode 13:

I guess I’m still not super into cragger but I pity him a little. He’s trying his best but he’s just a bit stupid. And also his sister sucks ass

Okay. So she may be cringe but cruller is living her best(-ish) life.

That wolf is wearing a really cute apron

Man they were bringing up Shadow wind earlier and I thought they were gonna reveal their identity but now I’m a bit disappointed…

Laval is being peak dumbass rn I kinda like it. “The warm milk of oppression” lol

Episode 14:

“You bears think you’re so clever” bro they are literally asleep I don’t think they give a shit

I think the thing with Cragger is that I absolutely hate him when he’s under the influence of the flower thingy. He’s unlikable in a not-so-fun way, but he seems much more cute/compelling when he’s normal lol.

Oh my god they’re getting back-alley chi lmao

Oh is everyone gonna think Cragger did this on purpose. That’s sad.

This Reagle(?) guy is really silly I like his design a lot

Ohhhhh the wolves are gonna plug the fake chi and become chickens. It’s not a Cragger-might-be-evil thing. Gotchaaaa that’s cute

Seeing Cragger and Leval act like buddies again is genuinely nice they’re friends :)

Episode 15:

Eagles are based communists that live in the sky got it 👍

Cruller stop fucking with the gorillas istg.

Okay what the hell did burning the flower do. Is that like taking an inhalant

The ravens attempted to use the eagles’ based communist values against them. However, they didn’t realize that the eagles are boring as shit, and don’t “own” anything cool in the first place. Based communist eagles for the win.

Okay wait is Eris liking the rhino like. A brand new development or was it hinted at before?? It’s been a hot second since I watched the last couple episodes

Also I recognize that animation from the Ninjago season 5 finale lol

Episode 16:

Man I just hate this stupid skunk

This fog of destiny stuff is really goofy looking from the outside lmao it’s hard to take serious

So it’s like. Making them entirely delusional or something? Some of them are acting the opposite of how they usually do, but others are having like, delusions of grandeur. Idk how it works exactly

Laval there has got to be a smarter way to wake them up. You keep getting thrown into the lake…. Oh my god is the skunk gonna fart again. If that’s literally how they wake them up I’m gonna be so mad.

Oh okay thank god I was wrong.

Oh wait it randomly made cragger evil again. Man come on.

Cruller you stupid dumb idiot lmao get wrecked honestly

I hope the skunk dies like actually for real

Episode 17:

Oh shit Lavals dad also had a best friend that did shitty things and eventually grew apart from?? Damn.

Also Laval in exile time!!! Hopefully this will be cool

Eh. It’s not so cool with the skunk around

OH SHIT is the shadow wind the guy that was exiled before??? Ohhhhh

Ahhh okay Cruller backstory time. Damn girl was getting compared to her sibling straight out the egg. Didn’t even have a moment to spare there huh

Noooo Laval you just enslaved the wolves again by giving him the treaty. That was like the one cool thing cruller manages to do

Oh. I guess the exile thing literally didn’t matter at all lmao kinda underwhelming

Episode 18:

Lol so Cragger is such a dickhead now it’s even causing his stupid ominous dream to take notice

Okay so the floating mountain that gives everyone the chi also makes you on fire when you touch it. Chima world building really is epic man I gotta include random cool shit in my stories once I get around to writing stuff

This definitely feels like part of a finale lol maybe we’ll finally learn what the deal is w shadow wind

Andddddd the chi’s all fucked up now

Episode 19:

Tbh I would also be kinda mad at the lions like. They had no idea what they were doing or if it would have any negative consequences.

Man the whole thing with the wolves just kinda. Fizzled out huh? Like a few episodes ago they had ~all the chi in chima~ and now they’re all like “idk man why don’t we all just get along” lol

I love the attitude of just asking the beavers to fix the mountain. Like let’s just chuck a couple of construction workers at this malfunctioning holy site that’ll probably work

Episode 20:

I’m guessing this is the finale?? Let’s see

Laval looks so weird without his little crown thingy lol hes so square

He’s definitely not dead tho

CROCODILE LETS GOOO!!!!! EPIC!!!

OH UM. Okay well that complicates things. And there’s like a million other questions we still haven’t answered but ok. I guess all of that other stuff can wait until later????

I thought the eagle guy said chima only had 2 moons left before everything fell apart?? So they really gotta get the ball rolling on that one uhm. Oh well.

**EDIT** Last time I posted this I thought it stopped at episode 13 for some reason?? Tubi is stupid; thanks to the person who pointed out the actual episode number. I’ll probably stop here for a while, sorry it took so long to update this lol. My initial thoughts and feelings haven’t really changed all that much, so I’ll keep them as they were:

I definitely feel like it’s a show that doesn’t have super strong characters. I think it would better if the show leaned more into the world it’s created instead, if that makes sense. Maybe later the character writing will improve a little bit, and I’ll changed my tune. But!! Who knows. I’m having fun with it.

Idk when I’ll get to season 2, cuz I get super busy sometimes (I started this one a couple months ago but couldn’t finish it till now ugh) but I do want to continue watching!! Eventually!!!

[clownsalot]

ok so anyway double first impressions and observations!! idk if ill be repeating any points other people have already brought up since im typing this without having looked through the milgram tag. and this probably won't be all that organized despite my attempt of neatening it up but ah well. i tried grouping my observations by point at least, but they're not in an order that follows the sequence of the mv.

also id like to preface this that firstly a) i don't have any personal experience with DID whether it be in myself or with people i know so please be patient with me if i say something wrong and b) for now please assume im going with the 2koto theory? not because i dont believe in the trikoto theory but because i haven't really dug that deep into it and so id be bad at spotting evidence of it myself

also im mostly going off of what i see visually in the mv since i haven't gotten to analyzing the lyrics yet

for now im referring to host mikoto and alter mikoto as bokuto and orekoto respectively.

the rest of the post under the cut!!

1. magazine/print(?) texture

the first thing i took note of was the magazine/print(?)(there's definitely a better term for this because just saying 'paper' doesn't fit. someone please help) texture that shows up when the mv kind of fragments. there's a lot of text that shows up like printed letters on a newspaper/print(?) that floats around.

how i find this interesting is actually in contra:st to the magazine texture on cat and the magazine/scrapbook format of this is how to be in love with you:

whereas kazui and mahiru center more on the clean perfect 'advertising' feel of magazines, mikoto's texturing in double feels more like the kind of crinkled old magazines you rip and mess up for collages in primary school.

it's kind of interesting, actually: with kazui and mahiru, it's their portrayals of the idealized romanticized forms of love and romance they're being sold. so with mikoto, is it the shreds of the idealized 9-5 grind he's been sold? since it seems to be implied in double and also one of the shots in undercover that mikoto is pushing himself too far for the sake of his work, and it's well known that the work grind in japan is crushingly brutal and overtime is not only expected but actively encouraged (i may be reaching with this one though? i dunno man).

2. the eye imagery

the next thing i noticed was that double has a lot of eye imagery. it's really interesting because it's like it's carrying over the feeling of surveillance from MeMe by replacing the camera povs that feel like spying on mikoto with more straightforward eyes on him.

what else is interesting to me though is the way the eyes watching mikoto in double contrast with the eyes watching fuuta in backdraft. as far as i can tell mikoto and fuuta are the only ones in milgram with eye imagery? but there's a difference in that while fuuta's eyes are disturbing partly because of the fact that they're semirealistic, mikoto's in contrast are a lot more abstracted in comparison. i wonder what exactly the eyes in double are supposed ro represent, since fuuta's are meant to represent judgement. given the stylistic differences between them im really curious as to what the similarities and differences would be between how they both view being watched? i can't come up with anything concrete at the moment though.

3. across the train carriage

i think throughout double there's a kind of shot composition/framing that shows up a few times, and it's that orekoto and bokuto seem to be across the train carriage from each other.

in the first image, it looks like bokuto is being reflected in the window behind orekoto, meaning he'd have to be sitting across from him in the train carriage. in the second, an identical pair of hands are overlapping orekoto's image, and since i doubt there'd be a mirror cutting right through the middle of the carriage in front of the doors, it'd have to mean that they're mirroring each other's actions from across the train carriage.

(you'll have to forgive me for it being in still images, i wish i could get it in motion but i am. not a gif maker. it's at roughly 2:16 though for anyone who needs it)

it also shows up in this scene which i like a lot!!! where the camera starts from a mikoto leaning haggardly against the train door looking at something behind the camera, who im assuming to be bokuto, before it pans up towards the ceiling and down again to the mikoto holding onto the bloody bat, who im assuming to be orekoto.

the Across the Train Carriage framing is really really really cool in and of itself and i love it!! but that panning shot has me rolling it's so good and i love it so much. the way it pans back down to orekoto so he's upside down makes it so disorienting and difficult to process especially with the scribbly effects over it. this could be reflective of how bokuto feels about this whole thing himself, but i donthave much of an analysis for this point, i just wanted to point it out because i think the directing of it is really really really damn cool

4. phone call home

yea i don't have an analysis for this part either, i also just find this sequence of events really really cool. just—the calmness of the phone call over the flashes of orekoto violently 'taking care of' the things troubling them!!!! it's the juxtaposition of the mikoto who calmly tells his mom that everything is alright and he's fine vs the mikoto that takes care of things for him that allows that kind of calmness to exist in the first place. it tickles my brain

although there is the thing of: if people are right that the mv visually distinguishes between bokuto and orekoto through the presence of eyebags, it is a little odd that the mikoto on the phone also has eyebags, implying that the him on the phone is also not bokuto. and i don't know what that's supposed to signify, but it's a little interesting to think about.

5. glitching Next Station screens

it's interesting to note that as the mv progresses the screens that show the train route and what the next station is get glitchier and glitchier. do any of the train station names correspond with actual train stations on the japanese train system? do they mean something else? im really curious, but my japanese isn't great and consists of only the 2 duolingo units i did like years ago, so could anyone please give me a hand with translating or point me to someone who has already translated it?

the constant appearances of trains in both MeMe and double is really interesting to me and i wonder what exactly it could be representing or what the significance of it is, especially since mikoto apparently bikes to work and doesn't commute on public transport

anyways, that's about it for all the things i took note of upon watching double the first two times, and i haven't done any especially deep analysis or anything. i haven't touched on all the mannequins either, mostly because im not reslly sure what they're supposed to represent and so don't really have much to say about them.

also hanae natsuki delivers a banger vocal performance once again!! ive never heard him miss in any of the roles ive seen him in, but he once again knocks it out of the park with mikoto. i haven't listened to mikoto's t2 voice drama neoplasma yet, but im sure hanae natsuki did amazing work on that once again, so im really excited to give it a listen!!

as for now though, i think ill have to look at everyone else's analyses of double to understand mikoto better, since even though i love him as a character and i like doing analysis im not as great at theorizing

[petertingle-yipyip]

POOKIE now that the album has been out for a while what are your fav songs????

me personnally i cant pick they all already mean sm to me😭😭

once i saw it was a DOUBLE ALBUM i decided to wait till i had enough time to listen in full so i will listen right now and pull a you and give live ratings! (skip to the bottom for an overall feeling)

fortnight 8/10 - this is so ex coded holy “i love you and it’s ruining my life” literally of her relationships at some point, wow. i will say that post is an interesting collab for this type of song but i don’t hate it

the tortured poets department 6/10 - i liked the bridge (i think that’s what it is) the best. lyrically it’s good but not my fave and saying that ab the title track i hope doesn’t get me yelled at by anyone

my boy only breaks his favorite toys 9/10 - i claimed this one from the tracklist so i knew i was gonna like it. the best she stays with as she sings the title is perfect for an edit

down bad 7.5/10 - i didn’t expect her to come out cussing at me, okay ms swift. not a skip but not a daily listen either. crying at the gym is relatable though

so long, london 8/10 - i used this as a fic title lol but the cadence really shows how angry/tired she was by the time they split. the lyrics here are so powerful too. her imagery is always so beautiful

but daddy i love him 6/10 - idk why but this just doesn’t resonate with me the way i thought it would. still good though but i wouldn’t save it turn it on from my own phone

fresh out the slammer 9/10- having that one person who is your immediate thought, the driving force behind you, your everything is all i want and that yearning keeps me up at night

florida!! 4/10- nothing about this song drew me in 🫣

guilty as sin? 8/10 - “i choose you and me religiously” so matt murdock coded

who’s afraid of little old me? 10/10 - SO ex coded and rep coded “i was gentle, i was tame till the circus life made me mean” or “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” TELL ME THAT ISNT OUR GIRL EXODUS

i can fix him (no really i can) 6.5/10 - me with every fictional man i come across the “ woah, maybe i can’t” at the end is crazy, basically agreeing that he was such a mess but i was hoping to like this one a little more

loml 9/10- joe put her through it, holy shit

i can do it with a broken heart 10/10 - immediately can tell she was writing about herself performing from another perspective and i love the juxtaposition of a pop-dance type beat with these tougher lyrics “i cry a lot but im so productive” is literally me

the smallest man who ever lived 7.8/10 - the title feels like the inverse of the “loudest woman this town has ever seen” lyric and to me, it really highlights got she was always this icon whereas he was always ducking and dodging and not willing to live in that spotlight with her

the alchemy 5/10 - i feel like the message of this song went right over my head

clara bow 6/10 - it’s a cute song that (i think) documents the growth of her career and maybe the comparisons/comments she gotten as she’s worked and how people compare new stars to her

the black dog 5/10- it doesn’t really resonate with me

imgonnagetyouback 8.5/10 - is this the one some people are saying is similar to get him back! by liv? bc the only similarity i hear is the concept of not knowing if you’re gonna rekindle or beat the shit out of your ex

the albatross 8.5/10 - it’s like she knows exodus and elektra. “she is here to destroy you” but i think this is another way of her reclaiming her image/reputation through acknowledging and challenging what men/media say about her

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus 8.8/10 - honestly idk what ab this song but it’s so beautiful. i can’t explain it but its like a ballroom dance

how did it end? 9/10 - this song gives the vibes of a movie scene where two people are on swings at the night and then suddenly, one swing is empty (but still going) and the other person is just teetering on their toes

so high school 5/10 - gives me early ts vibes and it’s cute but not really me

i hate it here 7/10- not my favorite but i do like the beat

thanK you aIMee 6/10 - this is directed at KIM or am i tripping? also the guitar reminds me of debut era for some reason

i look in peoples windows 7.5/10 - this song is yearning, wanting to see that person just one more time and its me wondering if i’ll see my ex again, just to know what’d happen if he saw me again after everything he’s said to me

the prophecy 9/10 - i really love the chorus

cassandra 5/10 - didn’t really stick out to me and became background noise 🫣

peter 7.8/10 - its really cute and ik it’s probably more of a peter pan reference but the editors need to get on it and do peter x mj

the bolter 8.7/10 - i was not reviled by anyone except my own father so (we’re better now though) but i do run from intimacy

robin 6/10 - slow, sweet, cute little song

the manuscript 9/10- instantly loved it (forgot what else i wanted to say here)

overall, is a lyrically beautiful album. there’s so much emotion in the music and her delivery. her imagery is so beautiful as always. personally, i won’t say i love it but it is so so impactful. releasing 31 songs in one project is unheard of so i tip my hat to her ability to tell these stories with such grace and eloquence through such a marathon of an album. i like that you can hear bits of her previous albums in some of the songs and it is a very mature project imo. you can tell how much this meant to her and how much of herself she’s poured out. its an overall ~7.8/10 for me but i would recommend everyone to give it a listen

[poppyseed799]

decided I’ll take writing requests (life series fandom)

I want to write! Especially for this fandom! But I want to warm up first! So I’ll take random requests! I also don’t have many ideas for long stories so I just wanna write oneshots and requests are perfect for that!

I’ve not ever really posted my writing on tumblr before. I’m flipping between thinking my writing is bad or that I underestimate my writing skills. Either way I like my style of writing. Hopefully y’all will too if not then.. sorry don’t read it I guess 😭 I like always write third person limited btw don’t think anyone cares but yeah I’m almost like allergic to other styles LOL

SO! WHAT CAN YOU REQUEST THEN?

- Anything Life Series related. 3rd Life Last Life Double Life Limited Life… maybe just making up a whole new season idk HOW I’d manage that but sure…

- Shipping? Yeah bro. Any ships I won’t do? Nah. I’ll do em. I guess I’m not a fan of shipping between the family dynamics in Limited Life (those ships are fine in the other seasons! Also not calling out ppl who do that I just personally don’t want to I like to treat them like family) (if you specify some sort of au where they’re not family I may do it) (also idk what was up with the bad boys being the clockers cousins I’m not concerned with that too much tbh it felt rather throwaway) anyways Got a rare pair? Sure why not. Want more content for the already most popular ships? Yeah sure man. Want to challenge me by making up a completely random ship? Screw you but yeah do it ig.

- Don’t want shipping? Want some angst or friendships? Just guys doing stuff? Murder and killing? Yeah sure.

- smut? No sorry bro I’ve never written that ever LMAOO so that’s one thing I will not accept as a request. Especially not on main are you KIDDING me? (I guess I could write something suggestive tho idk if I’d be good at that lol practice I guess..????)

- random headcanons? Yeah bro sure. You could even ask me to write my own I’d prefer to write my own but I’d love to take a request for a headcanon that I don’t have too. This goes for pretty much any sort of headcanons. Listen if I don’t like it I’ll just delete it I won’t publicly shame you ok promise. I am friendly pspsps

- AU? Yeah man just give me an au. I’ll do it. I don’t even know what a coffee shop au is. But I’ll write it. Just ask.

- Other servers? No. A personal dislike of mine is connecting other servers to the life series (not shaming ppl who do this I just personally don’t like it much doesn’t fit my tastes!) I’m also not super knowledgeable on other series tbh…… however combining this with AU. I could accept an AU that has to do with other servers, just know that I know hardly anything about hermitcraft and am only mostly familiar with empires, not much. Don’t be afraid to request AU with other server just because I don’t like them being together by default

- “can I request literally a random word?” Sure bro why tf not. Idek what I’m doing anymore. Why don’t you guys request like a character or pairing and make me shuffle my playlist and write them based on the song my playlist is a mess it would be. Terrible. Treat this like I’ve reblogged one of those ask game type posts. Send me a random emoji and a character or pairing or whatever. Idc.

Sooo yeah like I said I prommy I won’t be mean ok request ANYTHING you want if I don’t like it I’ll just delete it but I promise you I am one of the most lenient does whatever ppl say ppl you may ever know I have done. So many bizarre one on one roleplays with strangers and NOT in the way y’all think.

If I get hit by writers block and end up writing NOTHING. I’m sorry. But you’ll have to accept that possibility and that I’m doing this for free and for myself (also keep that in mind if I twist your request into something you didn’t intend lol)

So plz send a request in my ask box even if you don’t have one or don’t care or don’t even want to read it just put something in there

[eri-cheri]

Now that we have reached the last chapter of the year. It is time to do a 2020 roll call of what I like to call, “State of the Shippers”:

1. IzuOcha. Status: Placated.

-IzuOcha’s could celebrate several cute tidbits throughout the year. Mini moments as they say.

Anime Highlights: The OVA’s came in clutch with moments for shippers all around and IzuOcha is no exception. We got a cute tidbit where Izuku and Ochako bumped into each other and were flustered.

Manga Highlights: Christmas kept on giving to this fandom as the AM doll Izuku gave Ochako made many appearances. A cute fist bump between the two was also exchanged and Mina was right there bouncing with y’all.

Heroes Rising: Izuku super man carried Ochako to safety. And was Angy she was injured. Fans could enjoy the small Lois Lane moment.

Troubling Signs?: Ochako said “I would like to be excluded from this narrative” when it comes to her feelings for Deku. She’s a hero damnit! So if they are in for something, probably won’t be while they are still in school.

II. DabiHawks. Status: Yikes.

- Dabi and Hawk’s very public breakup set this fandom in disarray but also kind of disayay?

Anime Highlights: None yet. This fandom was cruelly cock blocked by Bones. Sorry DabiHawks stans.

Manga Highlights: Where to begin, my goodness. With these fans, I guess the good and the bad is a plus in this homoerotic double agent relationship. We have the notion that Dabi may have known Hawks when they were kids, which may be a positive? Hori sure loves his childhood friends. Other than that. The GIRLS WERE FIGHTIN’. Hawks is now permanently scarred by Dabi and I don’t think it was kinky folks. Tokoyami inserted himself in the middle to White Knight Hawks, Dabi broke up with him via YT expose and overall, shippers could anguish in the absolute MESS that this ship endured this year. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. So...yay?

Heroes Rising: They were both in it.

Troubling Signs?: The entire relationship is a troubling sign which again, is part of the appeal. Maybe Hawks will cuddle up with Dabi’s father after the war. That’s troubling! Speaking of...

III. EndHawks. Status: Yearning and Burning.

-If there’s one thing Endeavor couldn’t stop worrying about, it was his hot (in more ways than one) new side piece who probably should have looked at the fine print when signing a contract to be a recurring guest star on “Keeping up with the Todoroki’s”.

Anime Highlights: A fateful meeting finally in high definition for all our eyes to see! Hawks’s unwavering support of his biggest hero was endearing to watch and their shenanigans together spurred the anime onlies to finally jump on the biggest May-December ship in the series.

Manga Highlights: Endeavor’s admiration and concern for Hawks seeped through the pages as we entered our most exciting arc in the manga yet. Fate split these two up yet entwined their downfall together. And that Fate’s name was Dabi...or should I say ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ or should I just say Touya!

Heroes Rising: “Don’t bite my head off, Endeavor.” Geez, can you flirt a little less loud Hawks?

Troubling Signs?: They say never meet your heroes and Hawks is in for a rude awakening. We shall see just how deep his admiration runs or if Endeavor’s past will split our dynamic duo up for good.

IV: TodoDeku. Status: “Precious”

-Shoto’s “Midoriya is in Danger” radar was highlighted in both manga and anime. 4th User’s quirk, who?

Anime Highlights: “Midoriya hasn’t returned yet.” “Where’s Midoriya?” “Midoriya! Grab my hand!” “Have some of my Soba Midoriya.” Shoto gets it. His emotional support friend is a danger magnet. TodoDeku’s also enjoyed tiny tidbits in the OVA such as a hand grabbing scene. Gotta hold tight to those crumbs.

Manga Highlights: Two Words. “Precious Friend.” Deku comes in w/o arms or legs fighting for Shoto and Shoto’s honor. These two spent the entire year worried sick about each other, and going against all odds to save each other. Precious Friends indeed. TDDK fans ate.

Heroes Rising: Shoto kicks some dog ass and then faints thinking of Deku (and Bakugo but shh. Let the shippers rejoice.) On the bright side, we have a 3rd movie coming featuring “The Three Musketeers” so shippers of TdDk can HOLD TIGHT to what’s to come.

Troubling Signs?: Shoto still doesn’t know about OFA and he’s gonna have LOTS of questions after this arc. Will Deku finally tell him? If not, it could make or break the ship.

V. TodoBaku. Status: “Shining through the city with a little funk and soul.”

-Who knew the greatest comedy duo we needed was Shoto and his hot headed “friend” or not friend? It still remains unclear to Shoto. Regardless, these two had a fun year.

Anime Highlights: “I wanna see your cute face”, disco dancing, and more fun in the provisional license training. Plus the OVA added some cute moments between the two such as Bakugo staying behind to save Todoroki during a dangerous excercise and his adorable plan neatly animated for us. I’d say TodoBaku’s really were resurgent and energized this year!

Manga Highlights: Shoto, that is not how you properly Catch a Kacchan, I’m sorry. But at least you did it you mad lad. As with Deku, Shoto spent the year worried sick about Bakugo. While the anime let us have our fun, these two were suffering in the manga.

Heroes Rising: Again, Shoto put a dog down and then fainted with Bakugo on his mind (and Deku but we ignore that. Shush.) TodoBaku’s have the 3rd movie to look forward to which is bound to have some amazing content!

Troubling Signs?: They have a lot of trauma to deal with. And a lot of Deku to worry about. I also imagine Shoto will be hurt about being left out of the OFA secret. We shall see what 2021 has to offer.

VI. KiriMina. Status: Unbreakable.

-Changing your hairstyle to match the gal who inspired you in middle school? Sorry y’all but if Mina were a guy, I’d say that’s gay af.

Anime Highlights: We got that backstory Bois. Red Riot’s origin might as well make him be called Pink Riot. Again with Hori and the childhood friends though I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They just went to the same middle school but Kirishima was highly influenced by Mina’s Chivalrous spirit! A ship is born!

Manga Highlights: The influence is mutual! Mina creates a move based on Kirishima’s unbreakable and we all let out a collective “awwww”. Also in the war arc, we got Kirishima making sure Mina’s chivalrous spirit shines through right into Gigantomachia’s mouth! KiriMina may just be the unsung MVP’s of this arc.

Heroes Rising: They were in it.

Troubling Signs?: I can’t think of a single one. KiriMina’s can enjoy a peaceful sailing.

VII: KiriBaku. Status: Crumb Collectors.

-2020 was an uneventful year for KiriBaku but Bones made sure there were crumbs aplenty! Thank God for OVA’s!

Anime Highlights: KiriBaku’s did thrive in one episode! Kirishima reflects on the sludge incident and evolves his quirk based on inspiring words from Bakugo! Hooray! KiriBaku’s can thrive in their blossoming friendship. The OVA also has Kirishima (and Kaminari but shh) once again following Bakugo’s lead when it comes to the training excercise. How can you not? He’s so manly!

Manga Highlights: Not gonna lie. There is nothing much here this year. I did find a teeny tiny flake in Aizawa’s flashback. Kirishima and Bakugo are sitting next to each other. Oh! And at the hot pot gathering, Bakugo sits next to Kirishima! Eat your crumbs KiriBaku’s! There’s always next year!

Heroes Rising: Kirishima hangs with a lazy Bakugo and delivers the most hilarious line in the whole movie. “Silly Bakugo, there won’t be villains here!” Hahah... Silly Bakugo. Oh you~ KiriBaku’s can inhale the fact that those two sure love to hover around each other!

Troubling Signs?: With great crumbs come little responsiblity. No trouble if there’s no content! 🤔

VIII: KamiJirou. Status: Singing their hearts out 🎶

-If there’s any ship that’s coming close to canonization, I think this is it, folks! “Think of the person most important to you!” Can’t argue with Midnight!

Anime Highlights: Kaminari does non stop encouraging of Jirou and her hobbies! He works super hard to learn guitar for her sake! We love a king who can encourage his queen!

Manga Highlights: Kaminari thinks of the most important person to him and surprise! It’s Jirou! All of the feels can commence.

Heroes Rising: They were in it!

Troubling Signs?: Kaminari does love his women. And men. Kaminari overall is a huge flirt. But Jirou appears to have his heart strings. ❤️

IX: BakuDeku. Status: Rising. 👑

-Alternative Statuses include Winning, Thriving, Soaring. It’s just been non stop content this year. 2020 is truly the year for BakuDeku. The shippers can rejoice.

Anime Highlights: Three words. Be. My. Cane. The OVA’s helped fan the flames of the BkDk hearts with a surprise! Deku tops! Not only that, we got a lovely shoulder tap of encouragement in the canon material. While in season 4, Deku’s primary focus was Eri. Bakugo and Deku still had their moments to be hella gay.

Manga Highlights: Where do I even begin? I guess we’ll just cut to the chase with Bakugo Katsuki: Rising. We finally saw Bakugo’s true feelings manifest for Deku and if getting stabbed for him isn’t the ultimate showing of love, then idk what is. BakuDeku’s rounded out the year with the Volume 29 cover AND the volume 29 cover drafts to eat at our heart strings. Overall, their relationship got the spotlight in the manga this year. And we’re bound to start 2021 with a dramatic confrontation. Hand holding seems to be the key with these two and it didn’t stop with Heroes Rising...speaking of.

Heroes Rising: The entire movie. Like....yeah. That’s it. [OP, your bias is showing. You have to be SPECIFIC.] {But random criticizer in my head, if I lay out the entire plot of the movie, my post will be too long} [OP....] UGHHHH Okay okay. The POPSICLE MELTING. THE HAND HOLDING. THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OF WHAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR LOVE CHILDREN. Did I mention? “It’s fine if it’s you?” CAUSE YEAH. Oh and All Might randomly officiating their wedding in their heads like idk. Isn’t it just simpler if I say the whole movie??!

Troubling Signs?: Well these two’s relationship is extremely delicate and while it has non stop soared this year, Deku might not take too kindly to Bakugo almost dying for him. Will they stop pushing each other away? Time will tell.

That’s all for this year folks! Happy Shipping and good luck to everyone next year!

[emetkoto]

idk man I just really like your style of rambling about them ig? like I find peoples' enthusiasm for things very sweet and infectious sometimes and your emetkoto posts defs hit that spot for me? like your joy and love for them seeps through and infects me too it's great. emetkoto good. anyway tell us about after vauthry. do it. give us the deets.

well thank you very much, it makes me happy to hear that ive had that effect on you 🥺🥺🥺 thats exactly what i hope to do with my posts about them but i do have bad demon brain so sometimes im like hmm. 'am i just being unbearably annoying instead actually???' and ofc sometimes its 'oh this is not original at all nobody wants to read this' so its always nice to have a little reassurance like this ghsljgsfd….

cracks my fingers so hard they all break anyway now for that essay you asked for

RIGHT SO LIKE right before vauthry, literally the night before that fight is when emet selch takes k'oto to the tempest to marry him and seubsequently erase his memory of it to "keep things fair" or whatever (basically he still had tiny little pangs of doubt about how things would turn out bc of yknow the whole being tempered for 12k+ years situation and he wanted to make sure that if it like. came to them having to fight. k'oto wouldnt hesitate bc he had smth like that holding him back :,) little did he know that he tried to hesitate in the end anyway and was only stopped from sparing him by ardbert) but thats a whole like other thing i still have to finish writing the worlds longest stupidest hardest to read post about so im physically restraining myself from going on about this anymore right this moment as much as i want to repeat myself forever about it bc GOD. God. god.

but anyway he was full of love and hope for k'oto, so much hope that he would be able to hold the light and prove mankinds worth so he could lay his mission to rest and stay by his side (and undo the spell holding his memories of the wedding) he was so SO ready for it and then. it just. all came crashing down :,) he'd allowed himself to let his guard down and put his duty aside and have hope in humanity again one last time and fall in love and k'oto just couldnt do it! even with his subtle help holding the light back he couldnt handle it, he was still too weak at 7 rejoinings and that shit hurted bad!!! he succumbed to the tempering and grief and rage and disappointment and closed himself off again…from there its probably the more canon adjacent bit of their story, graha tia acting embarassment, back to the tempest (altho k'oto doesnt remember having been there once before AUGH), amaurot, dying gasp :,)

throughout it all k'oto is trying desperately to get him to listen to him again but emet selch keeps cutting him off and ignoring him which hurts A LOT and ofc he says some. mean things to try and get him to just leave it be and accept what has to be done and stop talking about it bc HE didnt wanna think about it anymore EITHER obviously here but k'oto doesnt give up he keeps trying all the way to the very end….he never planned to kill emet selch, he just wanted to weaken him enough that he would take a moment to stop and think and listen , a last ditch effort to fix things but ardbert (and everyone else really) saw that it was like. too late for that. there was no way in hell emet selch was hearing reason anymore and if k'oto let him live there was a pretty high chance he would just kill him when he tried to get close to him so he took control of his body and made sure that axe killed, oops! way to kill a dudes soulmate and then be absorbed into his soul so you can never actually apologize for it…when the dust settled and k'oto realized what had happened he. was. A MESS!!

the only thing stopping him from breaking down right away was emet selch shushing him like 'let me enjoy this last moment with you in peace and quiet'……remember us and all that (although 'us' had a very obvious double meaning here

anyway tldr; WEHHHHHHH,,,,,,,

sorry for unreadability i very much wrote it exactly as it came out of my brain which is a long run on thought with no consideration for line or paragraph breaks. i tried to turn it into a few chunks for you

[hematomes]

I saw your post about ppl losing their shiz about Kaeya fanart being “whitewashed” when it’s literally darker than he is in canon. I agree btw I love like basically all Kaeya art out there I love one eyepatch man.

anyhoo, I have a story. I once saw a tiktok about a kaeya art. it was specifically labeled “IN PROGRESS” or whatever so you knew the artist wasn’t done. it was a gorgeous piece of art btw. So far, the only thing that had been colored was his hair and some of his clothes.

pretty much everyone in the comments started harrasing her about how he was whitewashed and the artist had to be a white supremacist and i think someone said “see I knew everyone who played genshin was racist just delete the game at this point.”

i was just like 😳 wow jeez it’s literally IN PROGRESS the artist legit said so.

the artist eventually posted the final version (after having to delete the first video and deal with several threats) it did turn out beautiful, but on the comments there and on every post of theirs after people are lurkign in the comments bad-mouthing them.

as much as I definitely am for characters not being whitewashed (especially Kaeya bc I love him your honor) I think some people take it way too far when the person they’re yelling at literally just wanted to get people excited about their WIP.

hi! sorry im so late this issue became quite sensitive lol i had to work up the courage to come back to it. it's gonna be a bit long, but i really need to say all this

if there's one thing i noticed about the genshin community on tiktok and twitter, it's that there is a whole, whole lot of social justice warriors and overall it's extremely toxic. it's something that surprised me because the people i interact with on tumblr are all super sweet and not one bit toxic so? idk, tumblr is just a different breed i guess

your story is extremely saddening. everytime there's a kaeya fanart, people forget about the color theory and the artists' style and claim it's whitewashed and i genuinely don't understand why. if someone could explain it to me, am i missing something? im not an artist so perhaps im mistaken, idk, but i've never seen a fanart where kaeya was whitewashed.

the thing that pisses me off the most is that most of the time it's white ppl calling something whitewashed. i'm not saying you shouldn't call out racism if you see it just bc you're white, just that these people aren't even right - and often you see poc coming into the debate and explaining it's not whitewashed/saying it doesn't bother them. moreover, i've literally seen fanart of beidou as a black girl, which isn't representation in my opinion - beidou is already a poc, and asian people need at least as much representation as black people, so it's plain racism. same thing with kaeya, i've seen edits of him with stereotypical african features, and it's really sad that no one is calling this out but yelling about whitewashing as soon as he isn't the exact same color as the official arts. hell, someone even said "so what if it's darker? it's still whitewashing" and i??? am flabbergasted. whitewashing is absolutely disgusting, but ppl keep misunderstanding what it means and just using it to gratuitously harass artists.

now, don't get me wrong. i believe that you can draw whatever you want. but the thing is - if you get mad when someone draws kaeya white (if they really do, i mean), you can't just applaud someone else's that draws another character black. racism goes both ways, and it's bordering on fetishism. i, as a poc (mixed-race, caucasian + african), am extremely uncomfortable everytime i see this double-standard.

but anyway, the fact remains that sjw have plagued the genshin fandom. and it's not just about kaeya's skin color (we don't even know if he's really a poc - we know he's tan according to paimon, and i believe she called him "exotic"? so idk) but also about the ships. everytime i see a shippy tiktok, there's plenty of ppl out here saying it's wrong, claiming their own ship is the most canon. if i'm not mistaken, kaeluc is the one that gets the most hate, and i genuinely, once again, don't understand why.

i talked about them before and explained how it's not incest bc they really aren't brothers, but i swear every now and then i see people throwing death threats and slurs anytime someone hints at them. idk if you are familiar with the eng va's fandom, but sometimes they play among us together, aether's va does some livestreams where he invites different voice actors. but diluc's va is never there, and i was wondering why - recently i learned that it's because he retweet a fanart of kaeya and diluc fighting alongside each other (not even a shippy fanart, apparently) and people harassed him and excluded him from the fandom. and now the same thing is happening to griffin burns, childe's va, bc he retweeted (or liked, idk) a fanart of lumine and childe fighting or something and people called it pedophilia bc lumine would be a minor. i'm not even gonna dive into this bc the travelers are canonically like 30 times childe's age, but what i mean is - people are so full of hate and i can't fathom living like this?

the point is, i totally respect anyone who doesn't ship something i ship. i myself don't like certain ships - like zhongli/xiao, jean/diluc - but im not gonna harass ppl who do just because i can? that's messed up, i just don't get it. i wish the fandom wasn't that bad bc i really enjoy this game

anyway, im really disappointed but still grateful, bc my followers & people i've interacted with here have been nothing but sweet and respectful. i hope none of y'all come across the toxic side of the genshin fandom. stay safe y'all!

[itsclydebitches]

re: that ask you posted a couple days ago about the male and female representation in RWBY, part of what makes RWBY's whole 'girl power' thing ring exceptionally hollow to me is the fact that there are like... no women in positions of real power in remnant. like at all. except the big bad.

winter is second in command to james. glynda is second in command to ozpin. all of the headmasters are men (for no discernible reason, imo; why theodore and not dorothea?). the leader of the ace ops was a white man (and then winter seemed to take over clover's position instead of either of the women of color on the team, and she was still second to james). RWBY is an all girl team, but JNPR was led by a boy despite a girl arguably being far more qualified (pyrrha). the happy huntresses are all women, and robyn had no real power to speak of--she didn't even manage to win the election, because jacques rigged it, and then the council ceased to matter. there was one (1) woman on the council, but she was so inconsequential that i can't even remember her name. (i suppose we're lucky it was the guy and not her who james shot lol) jacques controls the SDC instead of willow, even though he's not even a schnee by blood and actually married into the family for power. (and we don't even know how he got it over his wife.)

and then there's the white fang, which ghira led and not kali--and it's ghira who leads menagerie itself, while kali seems to be a housewife. sienna had five minutes of screentime before being brutally killed and her position assumed by adam, a man. cordovin is basically a one off lackey we haven't even thought about before or since. neo was second to roman. you have cinder, sure, who is a second but to salem, a woman, and raven as the leader of the branwen tribe--but what does it really say about your 'girl power' narrative when the only women with genuine systemic power in your world are villains or antagonists with massive bodycounts??

atla has the same sort of problem--a couple great female characters, but all the leadership positions are men (except the kyoshi warriors, an all girls group, and even then the leader of their island is an old man) and the one female mentor figure also turns out to be evil--but it at least has some great writing to help overlook that fact, and it came out in the mid-00's and so has some sort of excuse of being a product of its time. but rwby didn't even start until 2013 and it's still going and still making these kinds of decisions well into 2021.

where is this supposed girl power, exactly? am i really supposed to overlook the very patriarchal worldbuilding just because the title characters are girls?

That's an excellent summary of the situation, anon, and as with so much in RWBY, it comes down to the full context. Any one of these examples isn't necessarily going to mean much on its own. It's when you look at the pattern that you can start making a case for those conclusions: Why is the show marketed on "girl power" set in a world where men hold the vast majority of that power? And, more importantly, why is that setup not the point? We could easily have a story where that lopsided gender dynamic is the problem that the girls are looking to fix, but... that story doesn't exist. Like the problems discussed with Jaune, the supposed point here exists only on the surface. Dig just the tinniest bit — the above — and you hit on a lot of structural problems with this "girl power" world.

To add just a few details to what you've already said:

Salem indeed has power, but she's never allowed to fully use it. Each volume the frustration with this grows as Salem accumulates more abilities and then just sits on them. From literally hiding out for a thousand years to worries that she won't use the Staff in Volumes 9-10, Salem really isn't allowed to be the threat she's presented as on the surface. And yes, this is absolutely due in part to the "She's too OP and the writers don't know how to let her be that powerful while still having the heroes win" issue, but again, context. That problem doesn't exclude others occurring simultaneously.

Same double explanation with Summer. Yes, dead moms are an incredibly common trauma to dump on a protagonist, but it still left Yang and Ruby with Tai as their primary influence. And Qrow. The uncle becomes the extended family influence while Raven is the absent one/eventual antagonist. It's personal power as opposed to political power, but Tai, Qrow, Ozpin, formerly James... most of the mentors are men. Maria, a key exception, has been ignored in that regard. The story announced that she was Qrow's inspiration, setup her being Ruby's new mentor, and then... nothing. Nothing has come of that. She disappeared for a volume and then went off to Amity and was literally forgotten by the story when evacuating everyone was the finale's whole point.

Like that Endgame moment I mentioned, the Happy Huntresses feel a little too forced to me. Yes, it's the same basic idea as in ATLA, but ATLA, as you say, has a lot more going for it. The Happy Huntresses feel... on the nose? Idk exactly how to explain it. Like, "Here they are! Another team of all women! Isn't this how progressive storytelling works? Just ignore how this is a one-off team of minor characters compared to the world building issues discussed above." And if you're not paying attention, you miss just how insignificant they are, with a side of Robyn being, well, Robyn. The Kyoshi Warriors, at least, are based off of Kyoshi. A woman avatar who is a significant part of their history. That is, presumably, why they're an all women warrior group (but who notably still teach Sokka). The Happy Huntresses are all huntresses because...? There's no reason except that meta "We want to look progressive" explanation. Just like having all the women superheroes team up for a hot second so people get excited and ignore the representation problems across, what? 21 films? Don't get me wrong, I love that May is among the Happy Huntresses. I think including her in the explicitly all-women group was one of the better things RWBY has done in a long time, but the rest is still a mess.

RWBY is arguably about these smaller groups as opposed to systematic power (despite the writers trying to work that in with things like the White Fang and the election. Not to mention the implication that everything in Atlas is fine now that evil Ironwood has died and taken the symbol of wealth (the city) with him. We saw a human holding hands with a faunus after all. Racism and corruption solved, I guess.) So yes, our group is dominated by women... but Whitley is the one saving Nora, helping to defeat the Hound (plus Willow), thinking of the airships, and providing the blueprints they need to escape. Salem is our Big Bad, except Ironwood is the one the volume focuses on. Ruby is our leader, but Jaune is the one leading the group into the whale and getting praised for how heroic he is. Ren does more to shake things up, even if he's painted as the one in the wrong. Oscar gets to confront Salem and destroys the whale threat. Ozpin provides the information they need to evacuate. Meanwhile, when the girls do things in Volume 8 it's almost always followed by a long-stint of passiveness. Nora opens the door so she can be unconscious for most of the volume. Penny keeps Amity up so she can also be unconscious for a good chunk of time. Ruby sends her message and then sits in a mansion. Blake fights so she can tearfully beg Ruby to save her. Weiss, as said, takes a backseat to Whitley (and Klein). They forward the plot, absolutely, but comparatively it doesn't feel like enough.

It's that pattern then, no one specific example. More and more the personal power, not just the systematic power already built into Remnant, seems to be coming from the men. Not all the time, but enough that scenes like the tea drinking moment feel like a part of a much larger problem. Pietro taking control, Watts hacking, and Ambrosius literally remaking her when Penny is supposed to already be in control of herself and her fate. Winter being presented as the active mentor to Weiss, only to turn around and claim that Ironwood was actually responsible for everything. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and May straight up commenting on how awful things are out there while Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Oscar lead the charge against Salem — with the latter three doing the most to forward that mission (no fear, semblance, cane). As others have only half-joked, Yang's supposedly badass moment was bringing up a mother she's ignored for six volumes and briefly blowing up the immortal woman for a couple of seconds (with Ironwood's bombs). Even Marrow is arguably the most significant Ace Op after Clover. Vine isn't actually a character, Elm slightly less so, Harriet is there to go crazy and try to drop a bomb (notably before admitting to never-before-existed feelings for Clover), but Marrow? He's the one who breaks out. Who is meant to heroically stand up against Ironwood. Who comments on how awful it is that teenagers are fighting and, regardless of how messed up the moral messages are, is supposedly pushing for active change while all the women in his group, including Winter, insist on maintaining the status quo. Look at all these choices as a whole, it makes throwaway worldbuilding choices like "All the Maidens are women" feel pretty hollow. Why does it matter if Amber is a Maiden if she dies in a flashback so Ozpin can struggle to pass on the power? If Pyrrha dies before becoming one so Jaune can angst about it? If Raven is one and then disappears from the story entirely? If Winter has enough power to break Ironwood's aura, but supposedly had no power throughout every other choice she made getting here? If Penny is one, but is continually controlled by men and then asks another man to help her die? It's just really unconvincing, once you look past the surface excitement of a woman looking cool with magic powers.

When you do consider the whole of the story — both in terms of our world building and who is forwarding the plot in the latter volumes, getting the emotional focus, being proactive, etc. — there are a lot of problems that undermine the presumed message RT wants to write. They say, "girl power" by marketing RWBY with these four women, but too many of the storytelling decisions thoroughly undermine that, revealing what's likely a deeply ingrained, subconscious bias.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Walk Me Home

Chapter 3 of In Breakable Heaven! I don’t love this chapter, but it felt necessary. idk. Everything picks up in the next one!

Summary: It’s pretty much all in the title! 

Warnings: confronting a cheating ex

Word Count: ~2200

“You really didn’t need to walk me home. I didn’t mean to make you leave earlier than you wanted.” You said as you walked next to Spencer.

“Trust me. I’m normally home by now anyway.” He replied easily. You shifted closer as you thought about the buildings surrounding your apartment complex.

 “Where do you live?” You blurted out, unable to think of anything else to say.

 “Oh, I live in Langham Apartments.” He replied. You thought about the name, recognizing it as you had toured there when you first moved to DC.

 “Isn’t that North of Penelope’s though?” You said, double checking you were walking south toward your own apartment.

 He sighed. “Yes… I know what you’re thinking. Your place is definitely not on the way to mine, but I didn’t want you to walk by yourself and I didn’t think you would let me walk with you unless you thought it was convenient for me. More than 70% of violent crimes happen at night, and midnight to 1:00 AM is the busiest hour for many of those crimes.” You stopped walking, turning him to look at you by grabbing his hands. “Thank you.” You said it with as much sincerity as possible, wanting him to know how much you really appreciate the action.

 You dropped one hand so he could turn back around, but held the other as you walked down the street in a comfortable silence. You were still drunk enough to not think anything of the innocent act. A cat ran out in front of you, scaring you in your still tipsy state. You jumped into Spencer, with your hands grabbing his arm, and you pulled yourself closer to him. He laughed as he saw the source of your sudden fear. Shuffling past the feline, you didn’t make any effort to distance yourself from him. If anything, you leaned on him more as you grew tired throughout the walk.

 You didn’t want to say goodbye as you arrived home. Spencer, being the incredibly intelligent and observant person he is, felt you tense beside him as you turned the corner and your building came into view. “Are you okay?” He asked as your grip on his arm tightened.

 “Yeah, I just… it was a lot easier to think I would be able to get rid of all his stuff before actually having to look at it.” You replied.

 You saw something flash across Spencer’s face before he stuttered “I, uh, I guess, I could, um, go up with you, uh, if you think it’ll help.” You turned to him, a small grin slowly spreading across your face.

 “That would be amazing. I just don’t think I can be alone right now.” You were entering the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor before returning to cling to his arm.

 Nothing could have prepared you for the sight in front of you as the elevator doors opened. You held tighter to Spencer’s arm as you realized it was Drew standing in front of your apartment door. He looked almost sad, but quickly shifted to anger as he glanced down at your hands around Spencer’s arm. “Drew, I don’t want you here. I want to move on from my life and pretend like you were never in it.” You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes, threatening to escape as you confronted Drew.

 “I came to apologize, but obviously you already found someone to move on with. You were probably already sleeping with him.” Drew’s words felt like a whip hitting you in the face.

 “How. Dare. You.” You spit back at him, the tears giving away to pure hatred. “You are not even the least bit sorry. God. You don’t get to yell at me for having a friend- that’s right A FRIEND, help me through the complete bullshit you’ve put me through. You are the one who cheated on me. On our fucking anniversary. You don’t get to spin this around and act like I’m a bad person for trying to forget you. Get the hell out of my apartment building or so help me god I will…” You trailed off, not knowing what you could possibly say that would intimidate him.

 “You’ll what? You can’t do anything to me Y/N.” Drew’s eyes were cold and careless as he laughed at your rage.

 “She actually can. She can file a restraining order.” Spencer started. “You see, I work for the FBI in a unit that specializes in catching the world’s worst criminals. We’ve handled our fair share of stalking cases. I will not hesitate to see you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law if you so much as think about contacting her again.” Spencer’s eyes were hard. He was staring down at Drew as if he were invincible. You clung to him as Drew muttered “Yeah, whatever. Like I’d waste my time on her anyway” before leaving.

 You forced a smile on your face as you walked into your apartment and looked at Spencer. You wanted to be happy that he’s gone, completely out of your life, but you just felt empty. You have experienced way too many emotions for one night and you know exactly what you need right now. Rushing over to your speaker, you turn it on and pull up your Taylor Swift playlist for when you are feeling everything all at once. What can you say, the woman really knows how to write emotions. As you hear the soft music of this is me trying begin to play, you sink into the couch and start crying.

 Spencer shuffles over from where you left him by the door. As he sits next to you, unsure of what to do next. He’s not really sure why you put on this song. It sounds like it will only play into your upset state. You know you just need to flush yourself of the emotions before ridding your life of him entirely. Instead of asking about the music, he surprises both of you by pulling you into his lap and rubbing circles on your back. The small gesture is so kind that you start crying even harder, remembering how nice you thought Drew was. You aren’t sure how long you cry for before you eventually fall asleep.

 -- 

Reid’s POV

Spencer wasn’t sure why he was so set on walking you home, but upon seeing your reaction to Drew standing outside your door, he’s very glad he did. He’s never really been an intimidating person, but there was some instinctual feeling in him to protect you. Not that he thinks you need protection. He just knows you are in an emotionally fragile state and the man who put you there just accused you of the exact thing he had done hours before. It was pretty messed up. Maybe that is why he threw all his rules out the window for you.

 He really doesn’t understand the choice of music. Although, it does cover a range of emotions. The only thing he is completely sure about is that he never wants to see you this sad ever again. Maybe that is why he pulls you into his lap. You clearly need comfort right now, and it would be worse if he just awkwardly left. His barrier to touch has never been broken down so easily. It takes a lot of getting to know someone before Spencer would ever even consider shaking their hand.

 The songs shift from gut-wrenchingly sad to sweetly reminiscent to seductive before he’s sure you’ve fallen asleep. Every time he tries to stop rubbing your back, the softest whimper leaves your lips. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he drifts off, dreaming about meeting you under happier circumstances.

 --

 Y/N POV

In typical fashion after a night of drinking, you wake up around 6:30 wide awake. As your eyes adjust to the dim light, you notice you are still on the couch, but now laying down, with Spencer’s arms still wrapped around you. He looks so adorable sleeping. You slowly untangle yourself from him, so as not to wake him up, before walking into the kitchen for some water. It’s always good to hydrate, even if you don’t ever feel the hangover.

 You began thinking about what you could do to thank Spencer for everything he did last night. Not to mention you forced him to sleep on the couch. You settled on breakfast, but you knew if you started cooking you would wake him up. After finally deciding on a plan, you quickly get dressed. You grabbed your keys and left a post it on the door saying you would be right back, just in case he woke up before you returned.

 You quickly ran across the street to your favorite diner. Not knowing what Spencer would like, you order pancakes, French toast, an omelet, two different breakfast skillets, a sandwich, and sides of bacon, sausage, and toast. While you’re waiting for the order, you walk farther down the street to the small coffee shop you frequent. Again, you could only guess how Spencer liked his coffee so you ordered your usual mocha with extra sugar, a cold brew, and a hot black coffee. After collecting your drinks, you make your way back to the diner to pick up the food.

 It is a struggle to re-enter your apartment with all the food you just bought in your hands. When you finally push the door open, you see a confused Spencer sitting up on the couch glancing in your direction. He glances at the bags in your hands and his confusion only grows. With his help, you finally manage to set everything down on the counter. “Coffee?” You ask, gesturing to the cups.

 “Which one is for me?” he chuckles. “Oh! Right, I got a few different kinds since I didn’t know what you’d like. You can just take your pick and I’ll grab one after.” You begin to unpack the food choices as he tries the first coffee. Almost instantly he gags.

 “That one must be mine.” You say sheepishly as you take the cup from him. “That’s the usual response when people try my drink of choice.” He looks at you funny as he settles on a cup.

 “Really? I thought that was a normal order. I just like my coffee different than pretty much everyone.”

 You look at him as you take a sip of the drink, instantly spitting it into the sink that was behind you. “ew ew ew, that is black coffee. That is disgusting. Oh my god how can anyone drink that.” You chug some water to rinse the taste from your mouth. “Which coffee did you pick?” you ask as you grab the creamer and sugar to fix the monstrosity in front of you.

 “The sweetest one…” Spencer looks almost shy as he admits how sweet he likes his coffee.

 “Ahh, the mocha with extra sugar. That’s my go to.” You say as you dump the sixth spoonful of sugar into your dup. He stares at you in amazement as you finish stirring the now creamy looking beverage. “Much better” you exclaim after taking a sip.

 “I have never met anyone who likes their coffee as sweet as I do.” Spencer has a dopey grin on his face as he looks at your cup. “It’s refreshing not to be judged for something so minute.”

 “I know exactly what you mean! It’s so weird how people can think they are superior for some reason just because their taste buds don’t automatically reject the disgusting bitterness of unsweetened coffee. I mean, I’m still a perfectly capable adult even though I like sugary things. You don’t have to fit into some mold…” Your rant fades from your mind as you meet Spencer’s gaze. “Sorry, I tend to ramble.” You look sheepishly at the floor, immediately jumping into describing the foods you bought. “Now, as for breakfast. I wanted to say thank you for last night, but I wanted to make sure I got something you liked.”

 You scan the array of food you’ve placed in front of you. “You can even feel free to have some of each if you want!” You say as Spencer just stares at you with a look on his face that you can’t quite place.

 “You are incredible,” he says as he takes a seat and gets some food. You don’t really know how to respond to that, so you just grab some food for yourself as you sit down across from him.

 Talking with Spencer during breakfast is so easy. It’s almost as if you didn’t have a major break-up less than 24 hours ago. All too soon, breakfast had come to an end and there are no more dishes to do or leftovers to clean up to stall anymore. Spencer grabs his bag and says “I should probably get going, I have a few errands to run.”

 You let out a small sigh before responding “oh, yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you. Thank you again for everything yesterday. It was really nice of you.” Spencer shrugs before responding, “I just wanted to help,” turning and walking out of your apartment.

 After locking the door behind him, you sink to the floor fully letting your strange mix of emotions take over. You just might need to listen to that playlist again, only now you’re feeling a range of emotions instead of just a range of sadness.

 tag list:

@mac99martin @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion

[galacticxcosmos]

𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 ♕︎ jjk

Pairing :- Jungkook X Reader

Genre :- Suger Daddy AU, Romantic, Erotic, Angst and Fluff

Word Count :- 3.5k

Summary :- You didn't need a Sugar Daddy, but you still have one. What could make things worse? You having feelings for him probably?? But things were already messed up beyond your imagination, you heard of the saying, "Love hurts", but this much??

Warnings :- Explicit Sex, Noona kink, Dom Jungkook, Sub reader, A lot of angst (idk how I managed to write), mature theme, confused feelings, Jungkook with his smooth ass lines to melt your heart.

A/N:- I am still working on my series, mean while I just posted this quick Oneshot. I did go into depth of literature to give out the finest of my capabilities but it's not that bad, you can give it a try I guess. P.S:- Ignore the typos ans slight grammatical errors, I am too lazy to do proof reading. :P

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

The night fell, covering the sky with a dark blanket, the one that had holes through which you couldn't see light spots that resembled shimmering starts. You were standing in your large walk-in wardrobe, looking over the racks on racks of designer dresses, trying to decide what you were going to wear tonight.

A pit of uneasiness formed in your stomach, the feeling where you go back to back with feeling nauseatic to not feeling anything at all. You wondered what you were doing, why you were still doing this, even though you knew perfectly well why you still did.

You didn’t need a sugar daddy, yet you had one. You might have succeededly lied to everyone but lying to one's own self is indeed a difficult job. You had a good job when you first met him, you had your apartment, you had a decent income. A really good income, actually. There was just something about him, something that drew you in and captivated you and when he’d made the offer you hadn’t been able to refuse.

He got you a bigger apartment, you didn’t need to work. The only thing you needed to do was look pretty and be available for him whenever he needed or wanted you. You’d made one mistake in all of this and it was the one thing that kept you here and somehow simultaneously made you want to leave. You made a mistake, did something that you weren't supposed to.

You had fallen in love with him and you were falling harder.

You weren’t sure how much more you could take if you were being honest. You had given up so much just to be near him and you were starting to realise that the sex and accompanying him to certain events as his ‘friend’ weren’t going to be enough. You wanted more and you knew that he wouldn’t give it to you.

That was one of the most important rules that he had put in place when this first started. No one was to know about the two of you. Not one single person. You didn’t want that anymore though. You hadn’t wanted that in a long time but you knew that it wasn’t going to change.

You weren’t even the only girl that Jungkook had and your heart hurt a little bit more deeply each time he gained another conquest. Jungkook might be paying you to keep you around, for whatever reason you didn’t know, but that didn’t stop him from being the same playboy that he’d always been.

You sighed, pulling out a short black dress for the event tonight, knowing that Jungkook would love the way that it hugged your body tightly. It was sexy, but not in a way that flaunted your body, just the way that Jungkook liked it. The black fabric hugged your curves in all the right places, the long lace sleeves covering your arms adequately. The scooped neckline covered up to your collarbones, a cutout back showing just the right amount of skin.

You walked over to the floor to ceiling mirror, slipping on your black heels and double checking your appearance, knowing that Jungkook would be here soon. Just as you finished adjusting the way that your hair fell around your slender shoulders, the doorbell rang. You let out a small sigh, knowing that Jungkook was here to take you to the new years eve party.

He always rang the doorbell when he came, despite the fact that he had the code to get in and the fact that you’d told him repeatedly that he didn’t have to. You figured it was his own way of keeping certain boundaries in the relationship that you shared. You walked over to the bed, picking up the red clutch that you’d filled with your things earlier, glancing at yourself in the mirror one last time before leaving the room.

You pulled open your front door your eyes landing on the beautifully put together man waiting for you. His dark brown hair fell across his forehead in a soft wave, his silk soft lips pulled up into a small smile, his beautiful eyes wandering over you in approval of your choice of outfit.

He was wearing a quite obviously expensive black suit that accentuated his body to perfection. The crisp white shirt he was wearing had the first couple of buttons open and you wondered how he could manage to add a casual influence to the outfit and still look as good as he did. "Noona..." His voice was effective enough to send chills down your spine.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked in that soft, melodious voice of his that seemed to make your insides melt whenever you heard it. You found yourself nodding, stepping out into the hall beside him and pulling your door closed, steeling yourself to your feelings and the night that was to come as he wrapped an arm around your waist and leading you to the elevator.

You sat at an elegantly decorated table, drinking another glass of champagne, surrounded by beautiful rich people who talked about nothing and yet somehow never ran out of things to say and wondered what you were doing. Why you were here, why you kept doing this?? Confusion was bubbling up inside you.

You didn’t belong here, you knew that you didn’t belong here and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, to remove yourself from the situation you had willingly put yourself in for something as silly as love. You downed the rest of your glass, waving over a waiter and grabbing another with a small thank you and continuing to drink the one that you had just taken.

It wouldn’t be so bad, if the man you loved actually harboured some kind of feelings for you in return, but he didn’t. You knew he didn’t and yet you just couldn’t seem to tear yourself away from him, desperate for any scrap of attention he threw your way.

You let out a small scoff, taking another sip from the crystal glass that you held. You didn’t even know what number drink this was, you’d had a fair few since Jungkook had disappeared, leaving you alone in a sea of people that you didn’t know and didn’t really want to know.

It was late, you knew it was late and you found yourself wondering just how late it was. Was it almost midnight yet, almost the new year? A time when people vowed to themselves to change in some small or significant way that they never usually saw through. Did you really want another year of this? Another year of being nothing but a plaything, something to be hidden and kept a secret? Another year of loving someone that would never feel the same way about you?

Your eyes drifted around the room, taking in the countless people adorned in jewels and expensive suits. Did you really want another year living a life that you knew you shouldn’t be living? Hell, half of the people here thought you were an escort and to be perfectly honest you weren’t exactly far from it. You missed your old life, where you were respected and had friends, where people didn’t look down upon you because you were nice and a hard worker.

Your eyes landed on Jungkook, arms wrapped around a beautiful girl on the dancefloor, your mouth dropping open slightly from shock. He was kissing her. Right in front of you, in front of everyone else, in the middle of the large dance floor.

You felt a stinging in your eyes, knowing that you were going to cry and that you needed to get out of there. It was the final push you needed, the final nail in the coffin. That you couldn’t do this anymore was the only thought you seemed to have as you rose to your feet before unsteadily leaving the large and opulent ballroom.

Back in the apartment that you had called home for such a long time, you were sat on the floor in the middle of your bright living space, two suitcases open in front of you and surrounded by clothes that you were trying to pack.

Your phone had been vibrating incessantly for a while before it had stopped completely, probably Jungkook wondering where the hell you had gone and what had happened but you had ignored it completely.

You had changed into comfortable leggings and a sweater, much more to your liking. You had begun to raid the closet, grabbing the least expensive items that you had purchased since you had moved in here.

You wiped your eyes for what felt like the billionth time, wondering when you were going to stop crying about this. It was for the best, you knew it was for the best. You couldn’t keep doing this to yourself and you should have had this much respect for yourself before this entire thing started. You were pulled from your thoughts at the loud banging that sounded out on your front door, your eyes shooting up to look at it as you nibbled on your lower lip nervously. You weren’t going to let him in, you couldn’t let him in.

Your eyes grew wide and you froze as you heard numbers being punched into the keypad at the door and you could have slapped yourself for your stupidity. You’d forgotten to change the code, how could you forget to change the code? Your panicked eyes locked with his as he walked into your apartment, his eyes filled with a frustration that changed to slight panic as he took in your position on the floor, surrounded by suitcases and your belongings. “No-- Noona... What are you doing?”

There was a slight tremble to his voice that he couldn’t seem to hide and your eyes took in just how disheveled he looked, his hair no longer perfectly styled and now looking as though he’d run his hands roughly through it more than once. You dragged your eyes from him, looking back down to the suitcase in front of you and reaching to pick up some of the clothes beside you, tucking them into the suitcase as you spoke.

“I don’t want to do this anymore Jungkook. I deserve better than this and I need to learn to respect myself again. I’m going home.” You looked up at him as you finished speaking, noticing the way that his face had seemed to lose a little color, the way his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed deeply.

He began to walk toward you, closing the distance between you quickly and you dropped your eyes from him once again, reaching out to put another stack of clothes into the suitcase. His hand found your own and you almost flinched from the contact, refusing to look up at him and meet his eyes as he spoke to you in his soft, calm voice.

“I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. Just tell me what you want Noona, please.” There was a desperation in his tone, one that he didn’t seem to care to hide at this precise moment. Your eyes slid shut as you drew a shaky breath, knowing that he couldn’t give you what you so desperately wanted.

“You can’t give me what I want Jungkook, I know you can’t. I’ve done this for as long as I can, this needs to end now.” Your voice was barely a whisper, your heart seemingly breaking more at your own words. You wished he could give you what you wanted, you wished for it with everything that you had, but you knew it wasn’t a possibility.

Jungkook’s hand tightened around your own when you tried to pull it away, a hand reaching out to force you to look at him. The tips of his fingers felt ever so soft against your skin and you had to fight not to lean into the touch. “You don’t know what I can give you Noona. You don’t know what I would do for you,” you could hear the nerves in his voice when he spoke and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his own as he continued to speak. “Noona, listen to me. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to fall asleep every night holding you. I want to come home from work to see you dressed just like this. I want everyone to know how much I love you, because I do love you, Noona. You and only you.”

Your heart almost stopped beating with his last words, your eyes widening as you looked into his own beautiful orbs. Your brain scrambled to try and process what he’d just said to you, that he loved you the way that you loved him. When you took too long to respond, Jungkook drew in a shaky breath, before speaking once again. “I was just scared. I knew that there was something about you the first moment that I met you and I wanted to keep you by my side as much as I could Noona. I know you think there have been others besides you, but there hasn’t. I’ve loved you for a long time, I want a relationship with you. I want you by my side forever Noona..”

You sat there, looking at him as he crouched before you, your mind frantically trying to process what he was telling you. You wanted nothing more than to believe him, but there was one thing that kept nagging away at you. “What about the girl earlier tonight? I saw you kissing her,” your voice shook when you spoke and you almost cursed yourself for showing how nervous you were about that question. You wanted nothing more than to believe him, but you knew that you needed to know.

Jungkook’s voice was soft when he answered you, a certain look in his eyes that made you believe him. You knew that he was telling the truth.

“She kissed me, I pushed her away and went to look for you, but you were gone. I’m sorry.” His hand gave your own a gentle squeeze, his eyes searching your own. “I really do love you. I want to give us a chance. What do you want?” Jungkook was practically handing you everything that you had wanted since you’d met him to you on a platter and you were feeling overwhelmed. You had dreamt of this for so long and you’d suddenly found yourself at a loss for words now that he was offering it to you.

Unable to form any words, you answered him in the only way that you could, leaning forward and capturing his lips with your own. He instantly reached out to you, settling himself more comfortably on the floor and pulling you into his lap, his hands gripping your waist tightly as though he was scared to let you go.

You shifted yourself so that you were straddling him, somehow never once breaking the kiss. His tongue brushed the seam of your lips, looking for access which you granted, his tongue dipping inside as your hands reached up to tangle in his silky hair. The kiss quickly grew more heated, both wanting each other with a desperation that was surprising. Jungkook’s lips pulled away, moving along your jaw to your throat, nibbling and sucking on your sensitive skin and causing a small moan to escape you as heat shot through you straight to your core.

His wandering hands found the edge of your sweater as he removed his lips from your skin, pulling the sweater up and over your head quickly and throwing it somewhere in the room, before quickly returning his mouth to your neck. You ground yourself onto him, a small whimper escaping you as your hands flew down to push his jacket off of his strong shoulders. The action caused Jungkook to let out a small groan of his own as he pushed up against you.

His voice was practically a growl against your ear when he said “Bedroom, Princess. Now,” his tone changed, dominance was evident and you didn’t have to be told twice, getting to your feet with Jungkook following quickly behind you into your plush bedroom. You had barely made it into the bedroom when Jungkook pulled you against him once again, your tongues tangling together with the same desperation that had been present in the other room.

Your hands flew to his shirt, fighting with the buttons for a few minutes before you finally managed to get them undone, the fabric falling to the floor as Jungkook maneuvered you toward the bed. His hands reached down to unclasp your bra, that quickly disappearing too, before he also removed your leggings and your panties, finally pushing you down on to the bed.

He quickly removed the rest of his clothes, before joining you on the bed and settling himself between your parted thighs, capturing your lips once again in a searing kiss. You whined into his mouth, desperately wanting him to touch you, the sound seeming to let him know exactly what you wanted from him as he removed his lips from your own and ghosting soft kisses along your throat.

He kissed his way along your collarbone, finally reaching your chest and drawing one of your stiff nipples into his mouth as one of his hands drifted along your thigh, eventually reaching the place that you wanted him the most. His tongue circled your hardened nipple as he drew a finger along your wet slit, a soft moan escaping him when he felt just how wet you were for him. Your hips bucked up, desperate for more contact with him and you felt him smile against your skin before he gave you what you wanted.

You moaned as he slid a finger inside your wetness, his thumb drawing circles into your clit when he eased another finger inside. His mouth came up to meet your own, your small whimpers and whines being caught by his mouth as his fingers worked you, your small hands gripping his shoulders tightly. You were a shivering mess beneath him when you finally pulled your lips away from his own, your voice coming out as a shaky whine when you spoke.

“I want you inside me Jungkook, please.” He chuckled against your throat, where he’d moved his mouth when you had pulled away. “Whatever you want, Princess,” was all he said as he removed his fingers from your wetness. He shifted, aligning himself with your entrance before slowly pushing into your wet heat.

You both moaned, Jungkook burying his face in the crook of your neck as he buried himself to the hilt before giving you a few seconds to adjust. His hands moved gently along your arms, fingers wrapping around your wrists to hold your arms above your head. He began to move almost painstakingly slowly, before suddenly slamming back into you with a force that pulled a surprised whimper from you. Your moans and whimpers filled the room as Jungkook continued to pound into you. “Is this what you wanted Noona?” he asked, his breath coming in short pants as he fucked you hard. You couldn’t find your own voice, your own whimpers and moans coming out as breathless pants as he continued to slam into you and you could only nod in response.

Jungkook released one of your wrists, your freed hand instantly flying to tangle itself in his soft hair as Jungkook shifted slightly, the new angle allowing him to hit you even deeper than before. Your legs began to shake slightly, the knot in your stomach growing tighter as you grew closer to your release. Your walls clenching around him told Jungkook just how close you were as he moved his free hand to rub circles against your sensitive bud and that was all you needed to fall over the edge.

Your body shook around him, your walls clenching him tightly as your orgasm washed over you. Jungkook’s movements became more sloppy and less controlled, before finally reaching his own release. his body tensed, head buried in your neck as he groaned your name, coming deep inside of you. He collapsed against you, his grip on your remaining wrist falling away and you held on to him gently, almost afraid to let him go. As if he sensed your worry, his lips quirked against your shoulder before he lifted his head, brushing a soft kiss on your lips and looking you straight in the eyes.

“I love you Noona, and I always will” he said gently, brushing his lips against your own once more. You gave a small smile as he pulled away, unsure of how this one day had ended the way that it had but unbelievably happy that the man that you loved also loved you. “I love you too Jungkook,” you whispered, "Don't say 'too' it sounds like a contract" he pouted that had successfully melt your heart, "I love you Kookie" he giggled at the nickname, "I love you more" he wishpered, you placed your lips against his soft ones, a happy smile of his own gracing his lips as you captured them in yet another loving kiss hoping the night to not end.

The End.

Feel free to like or reblog, you can follow me for more. Let me know how was it in the comments, this is the first Oneshot that I have written in this account

~peace out.

[tobiosmilktea]

i loved your ballerina hcs, and i was wondering if you’d do a figure skating s/o with the same boys 👉🏻👈🏻

figure skating girlfriend w/ suna, lev, and akaashi

a/n: i did two ballerina hcs, so i wasn’t sure which boys you wanted so i did the boys from the latest ballerina hcs i posted (also i don’t know jack shit about figure skating so bear with me fdjaf)

— s. rintarou

i could honestly see him begging to pick out your music for your free skate

it would either range from his favorite obscure “underground” pop-indie band that isn’t really fit for figure skating to anime openings

he deadass made a whole playlist full of songs you would never skate to

he doesn’t know the differences between the different jumps besides the axel (and honestly neither can i lmao)

like whenever you would talk to him about how you keep messing up your jump combo, he’ll just nod like he understands lmao

“yeah, i have to go from an axel, double toe loop, to a double salchow.” (idk if this is accurate i’m talking out of my ass rn)

suna: i like your funny words magic man 😀

he sometimes stops by during your practice, but only if you’re at a public skating rink where he could watch you from the sidelines

he would come by often especially since your rehearsal lasts longer than his volleyball practices to the point that your coach and your other figure skating friends were familiar with your boyfriend

granted, suna did show his playlist to your coach and you’ve never been more embarrassed

when you and suna first started dating, your first date was actually at a skating rink

it was actually his choice to go just so he could somehow manage to impress you with his mediocre skating skills to which were not that bad

you even started teaching him basic figure skating moves

mans can do a killer besti squat and says he’s “channeling his inner yuzuru hanyu”

will definitely be the loudest guy cheering for you there

— h. lev

he would definitely binge watch all your competition performances cause he’s such a big fan of you

whenever you get your new competition dress, just know lev would be one of the first ones to see you try it on

he would ask for you to try it on for him and gush about how pretty you look, especially once you’re on the ice

he’s definitely one those guys who watch the olympics and criticize how a competitor under rotated a double salchow or something despite barely being able to skate himself

but it’s mostly just to tease you since he mainly watches it with you

he often jokes how he should start figure skating just so you and him can become a team (this is honestly just his excuse to throw your ass around lmao)

you’re literally his biggest flex

he loves talking about his cool figure skating gf and often embellishes the truth that you’re going to be part of the next winter olympics 

“what?” lev exclaims, “you can’t do backflips during competitions? that’s lame.”

he thinks the point criteria is kinda messed up as well, but then again, what does he know

i can totally see him holding up two cameras to film you during your free skate just so he doesn’t miss anything

he’d probably sit away from your family just to get two different angles lmao

the next time you two went on an ice skating date, he asked you to teach him the different jumps

he’s decent at a beginner toe loop, but almost crashed into a group of middle schoolers when he attempted a lutz

lev would never miss a competition of yours even if he has his own game, he’ll come late either way

— a. keiji

he’s your #1 supplier of kt tape

he’s also your #1 hypeman (bokuto is a really close second)

akaashi doesn’t know a lot about figure skating but he does know how amazing you are at your sport

he tries his best to understand the basic rundown of everything, especially since you tend to overthink a lot of your routines and competition scores so knowing at least the basic rules and point system could help him calm you down or at least comfort you

“so what if you fell? what matters is that you got up immediately and continued.”

will probably buy you ice cream to help you cheer up as well

akaashi always picks you up from practice as it becomes routine to go to the convenient store to get snacks before going to his house to do your homework together

it makes up for lost time since your schedules often get busy especially yours since the volleyball season only lasts a few months while figure skating is year round

he’s always making sure you’re ok whenever he picks you up from practice since he knows how strenuous skating is on your body

he’s also your #1 masseuse lmao

idk i feel he just likes spoiling you

will bring you the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers after every competition