#men are weird sometimes lol

[akaessi]

it's so interesting that the "jocks" of the friend group (my brother's that I play dnd with) talk to me more than the former Russian language major or the people with language/linguistic backgrounds

bizarre. someone explain this to me

cue Russian language major asking for help getting into grad school, awkwardly hitting on me, and saying I'm not well adjusted bc I have ptsd

[slyandthefamilybook]

can we talk about "clocking" discourse because I feel like way too many people went from "I don't want transphobes to think I am my AGAB because it would cause me dysphoria and possibly put me in danger" to "I don't want anyone, not even other trans people, to think I'm trans" as if that's a natural progression

[amomentapart]

I think people make excuses for family/friends who treat them poorly because they want to believe that person is misunderstood or just having a hard time articulating their position. Like to me, after my dad passed away and I went on a road trip with one of my bff's and telling her how I feel really resentful that I'll never get resolution on a lot of issues I had with him, she said it seems like I'm making excuses for his behavior.

And of course I'm making excuses for him because if I don't the alternative is my dad and I were never going to get along, and even if I had 20 more years with him I'd definitely never get him to be genuinely proud of me or like me as a person or see me as someone who isn't just there to do his bidding, because that was the way he was. But knowing that and admitting that are two different things. And after his passing I've done my best to see him as more than someone who made me feel incredibly insecure, who wouldn't help me for any reason, who was basically the real life version of Ebenezer Scrooge before the whole lessons learned plot, because he was more than that to other people. I didn't get the version of him that people talked up at his funeral or still come up to me today.

And I have to remember everyone sees people differently. Your enemy is someone's wife. The kid you made fun of in school is someone's uncle that they love because he's sweet and goofy. When I die, most people are probably going to remember me as extremely quiet and stubborn and they're going to laugh to themselves about how I couldn't see obvious things in front of me, if they remember me at all because I don't think I spoke more than 10 sentences to anyone in high school outside of my friend group. But there are going to also be people who thought I was funny, who thought I was artistic and smart (and really loved her X-terra lol), and who liked going on vacations with me because I'm an excellent travel partner.

So to me, I think it's important to keep an open mind. Lots of people do suck. They fail to love people they're supposed to, they fail to do things they need to do. But just because they're flawed and have hurt someone, doesn't mean they've hurt everyone. And it does hurt being on the receiving end of that flaw, but in just the same way I hope people can remember me for being a nice sweet person instead of a flaky friend who sometimes won't respond or talk to someone for months because on my end I feel like friendship can't be taken away once you've bonded but that's definitely not how other people feel about it. I hope they make excuses for me because they saw me for more than my flaws

And I'm not saying excusing abusive behavior is okay, but I do think it's used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people. Because if I didn't I'd be spiraling a lot more than I already do about "am I not good enough? do they really not like me? am I really that bad at saying words in the right order? do they just think I'm ugly? am I not deserving of love?" and I don't appreciate spending a lot of my free time worrying about why other people are being weird. Yes, you're not supposed to care about what other's think but that's a lot easier to do when you don't know them and have to be around them all the time. Anyway, my point is, what Maya Angelou said is mostly correct: people only remember how you made them feel, but everyone's experience is going to be different and ultimately me experience is only mine. I can't force that on other people's perspectives.

[doveotion]

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[artemisbarnowl]

I say men are weird but WHO is the terribly terribly brainwashed person who feels a deep-seated need for them to be obsessed with her? It's me.

[oysterie]

i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.

[skeletaltoad]

might b controversial but some of y'all.... have been a little too excited about the idea of a disabled gay character being brutally murdered

[cypr1anlatew00d]

I feel like both gender reveals and sex traffiking paranoia (via truecrime) are things that can be directly mapped to increasing as queer/trans visibility increases as well... when parental authority over children's presentation and roles wanes + cis white femininity loses its crown jewel status of desireability and worthiness of protection, crises need to be created to shore up their self-esteem basically; you ARE correct and normal to announce and enforce your will in increasingly ridiculous ways, you ARE so desirable the world warps around you

[goldlightsaber]

okay sure the girlies love 70s al pacino but what’s crazy is that men also love 70s al pacino….like the amount of men i’ve seen with some variation of al pacino as their twitter name/pfp because they’re trying to emulate him…insane. al pacino loving gf 🤝 al pacino emulating bf

[logically-asexual]

personal problems in tags

[latinokaeya-moving]

lrb actually reminded me of one xmas several years ago where i had to argue with my mum and grandma abt letting harry just buy a stupid girl’s perfume bc he was too shy to speak up and admit he hated the scent of all the men’s colognes they kept on having him try lol

[backtodecembertv]

asking him if he was ok with me randomly dropping into the bar he goes to, even though he clearly was. not sure what i was trying to accomplish with this question, but i did feel a little stalker-ish, and i may be a freak but i care about consent!

[5-htagonist]

l@imari has a place in my heart fr

[bumblebeebats]

Doorbell rang so my dad went off to get it, and when he came back and I asked who it was he just said "Ugh 😒 Just some Round Table nonsense" & I'm like "?????? Round Table as in King Arthur's Round Table??" "Yeah :/" The goddamn Knights Templar were at our front door and you just sent them away???

EDIT: Ofc (as an agender person myself) I know that the weird AGAB-based requirements for admission aren't actually trans-inclusive, lol; my comment was meant to be more of a tongue-in-cheek "Diversity win: this weirdly gender-segregated kind-of-Masonic networking society accepts trans men, too!" kind of thing, but in retrospect that rly didn't come across LOL. What can I say, sometimes you make a 5min post on the loo not expecting it to blow up & then have to reckon with the fact that other people can't read your mind 🤷‍♂️

[xcziel]

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[embers-burning-bright]

i am actually so sick of retail it isn't even funny