#and i do love quite a few ateez songs - if not as much of their most recent stuff and admire stray kids style and ethos

[xcziel]

.

[chahnniesroom]

some loves

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

word count: 6.9k

tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic

read it on ao3 | masterlist

a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.

Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.

He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.

“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”

“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”

“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”

“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”

“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.

“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”

Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.

There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.

“I’m in,” Chan agrees.

“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”

“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”

“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.

“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.

“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”

—

Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.

Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.

“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”

“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”

“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”

“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”

“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.

“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”

They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.

HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.

“Y/n,” Chan breathes.

You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”

Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.

It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.

It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.

Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.

As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.

You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.

“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.

“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”

Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.

“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”

The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.

The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.

You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.

It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.

Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.

“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”

You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.

“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”

“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”

You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.

“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.

“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.

Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.

Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.

—

Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.

That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.

In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.

The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.

Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.

Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.

When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.

“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”

Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.

“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.

Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”

“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”

“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”

“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”

“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”

“You didn’t hear what happened?”

“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.

“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”

“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”

“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”

“Please,” Chan pleads.

“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”

It suddenly clicks.

“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”

“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”

“But really, we were never-”

“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”

“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”

“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”

“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”

“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.

“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”

“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”

“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”

“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”

—

A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.

After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.

“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”

That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.

“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.

“What happened?” he prods.

“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”

“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.

“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”

Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.

“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.

“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.

“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“What’s your gut feeling?”

“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”

“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”

Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.

“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”

“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”

“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”

As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.

At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.

“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.

Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.

[Received - 8:04pm]

Channie-oppa~

[Received - 8:04pm]

This is Y/nnie

[Received - 8:05pm]

Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/

[Received - 8:09pm]

But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?

Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.

[Sent - 8:10pm]

Hey Y/n!

[Sent - 8:11pm]

No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too

[Sent - 8:13pm]

I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ

[Received - 8:13pm]

Gangdong-gu?

[Received - 8:14pm]

Ohh JYPE

[Received - 8:14pm]

My bad, forgot that you guys moved

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Yeahhh

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry

[Received - 8:18pm]

Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

Wait, really?

[Sent - 8:18pm]

No no no, don’t take the subway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min

[Received - 8:19pm]

Wowow

[Received - 8:19pm]

Private driver?

[Received - 8:20pm]

You’re a real superstar now haha

[Sent - 8:21pm]

alsfjshkafs noooooooo

[Sent - 8:21pm]

It’s just faster

[Sent - 8:21pm]

and safer

[Received - 8:22pm]

I’m not complaining

[Received - 8:22pm]

but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you

[Received - 8:23pm]

If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭

[Sent - 8:24pm]

Knew it

[Sent - 8:25pm]

You’re just using me for my fame

[Received - 8:26pm]

Ah you got me this time

[Received - 8:26pm]

*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks

[Received - 8:27pm]

Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up

[Received - 8:27pm]

Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?

Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.

Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.

[Received - 8:32pm]

?? Speechless that I caught on?

[Received - 8:36pm]

I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped

[Received - 8:40pm]

Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked

[Received - 8:42pm]

It was nice knowing you I guess

When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.

[Sent - 8:53pm]

Sorry, lost track of time

[Sent - 8:53pm]

They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything

[Received - 8:54pm]

Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts

[Received - 8:55pm]

But thanks

[Received - 8:55pm]

Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?

[Received - 8:55pm]

I’m honoured

Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.

“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”

“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”

“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.

“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”

“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”

“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”

“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”

“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”

“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”

“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”

It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.

“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”

“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”

“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”

“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.

“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.

“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.

“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.

"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."

“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”

"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”

"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."

“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”

“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.

“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”

"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.

"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.

"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"

“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.

“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.

“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.

Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.

“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."

You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.

“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”

"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"

"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."

"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."

Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.

Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.

"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.

"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"

You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.

"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."

At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.

"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[ateezscupid]

Hiiii I love your fics ! I wanted to know if you could do a fic with dom- minjoong and sub f. reader ?

𝗧𝗪𝗢'𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗢𝗡𝗘 ★

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - you planned a calm night with mingi and hongjoong recording in the studio, but it ended way differently than you thought it would.

warn - smut and fluff, dom!mingi, dom!hongjoong, sub!reader, fingering, oral (m and f), praise and some degrading if u squint LOL, pet names (baby, princess, pretty girl, love), poly!au, big dick mingi, reader's shorter than joong and min, kind of size difference mentioned BUT there is a size kink if u squint, unprotected sex, joong and mingi are pussy drunk and absolutely love the reader

w/c -

𝗧𝗔𝗚S - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13 @mingitheskzstan @yeolistic @jeonride @ate-ez

A/N - this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS and i finished it. also, back from my break babes! ^^

Mingi and Hongjoong were like two peas in a pod. they did — quite literally — everything together. They went to concerts together, designed merchandise together, produced and wrote lyrics together; even going to the bathroom together seemed like something the two boys did a lot. you’ve always loved their friendship. It was so cute how Mingi would treat Hongjoong like a younger brother even though Joong was older, and he kind of just accepted it knowing he couldn’t get Mingi to stop.

When you introduced yourself to the two, you didn’t realize how easy it was for them to become attached to you. They acted like they had known you for years, and for you it felt like you had found your soulmates because of their welcoming aura. Out of all of your friends, Hongjoong and Mingi were your favorites.

Hongjoong was the friend who spent too much time at work trying to make sure whatever he was working on was perfect — and who also had a bit of a smoking problem. Hongjoong was high most of the time whenever you saw him.

Mingi was the friend who was — just like hongjoong — always high, except he didn’t spend a lot of time in the studio. He was always out at clubs or doing something stupid with the other members.

To say the least, the boys were like fully grown adult babies.

Since your schedule was always empty, you spent a lot of time with the Ateez members; specifically with Joong and Mingi. You were always hanging out at their music video sets, in their dressing rooms, or just in general in the KQ building doing god knows what. It was fun hanging out with the boys. They acted so normal around you and you loved it.

Now you were hanging out with Mingi and Hongjoong in the studio. They were song writing and producing a few songs while you sat on the couch scrolling through your phone. There was definitely silence in the studio, ignoring the music playing, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. You three were fine being in complete silence as long as it meant being in each others presence.

“Yo Hj, go over that one line again,” Mingi peeked above his computer. “Y/n, are you bored? Sorry if we’re not talking to you, we’re just really focused.”

“What?” you scoff playfully and sit up. “Don’t worry about me, I don’t really care about you guys talking to me or not, Im fine either way.”

“Cool, just makin’ sure.” Min smiled then looked back at his computer. You always found him adorable whenever he wore glasses. They fit him so well, and he didn’t seem to agree until you started complimented him. It wasn’t long after that he started wearing his glasses more often.

With or without the glasses, Mingi had a pretty face. It was the same for Hongjoong. You’ve always found the two men incredibly attractive; your eyes examining their features whenever they weren’t looking. You of course never acted upon your emotions, but there have been moments between you three that would confirm your feelings for them.

Like the time you were hanging out with the boys while they were filming Inception. As of now, you’re confused why you didn’t choose Seonghwa first. Everything about him in that music video had you drooling. As if his body being drenched in water wasn’t enough, his facial expressions and body made you horny desperate for him.

Hongjoong and Mingi both noticed how your body was reacting to Seonghwa’s movements during the dance and felt jealous. They didn’t remember you looking at them like that. You remember the boys bombarding you with questions after they made it back to their dorms.

“Do you like Seonghwa?” and “Do you have a crush on anybody?”

“Why were you looking at Seonghwa like that?”

“Do you have a crush on anybody?”

All these questions were new to you since they hadn’t bothered you like this before. You could only assume it was because of the way you looked at Seonghwa that made them jealous. But why were they jealous? They didn’t like you, at least, that’s what you thought. They never showed any signs that told you they were interested in you… Unless they did and you were too dumb to realize.

Just thinking about it now made you wonder if they actually liked you, and if they had like you this entire time, why didn’t they say anything? You thought they’d be fighting over you if they both liked you but they weren’t.

Clearly they didn’t have a problem with sharing.

You stare at your phone for a few minutes contemplating on whether or not you should ask them. Or better yet, just blurt out that you like them and see where that takes you. You glance over at Hongjoong, and to your surprise, he was already looking at you. He immediately looked away and stared at the sheet of lyrics in front of him, Mingi noticing the flushed look on his face and looking at you. They knew you knew.

“Can I ask you guys something?” you finally muster up the courage to say something. It looked as if the blood drained from their face when you said that.

“Uh, sure,” Mingi closes his laptop halfway and Hongjoong nods, taking his headphones off completely.

“Do you guys have a crush on anybody? We’ve been friends for long and we’ve talked about almost any and everything but crushes. How come you guys never told me about any crushes you guys have? Or had.”

Hongjoong looks at Mingi, mouth ajar as if he were going to speak but stayed quiet. Mingi was also quiet, fidgeting with his mouse and looking around the room. Clearly they were nervous to answer the question, and you didn’t mean to make them nervous.

“Sorry if I’m asking for too much, I just wanna know! I mean, you guys have told me your celebrity crushes but that’s not the same.”

“I mean,” Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, slightly lifting his hips. You noticed this and bit your lip, struggling to keep eye contact with him.

“We never told you because it’s complicated.”

“How is it complicated? If you don’t mind me asking,” You cris-cross your legs on the couch. “I mean, I’m pretty easy to talk to. You guys know this.”

“We know!” Mingi sighed. “If we told you, you’d freak out. And you’d probably think we were weird,”

“I won’t think you’re weird! Come on, it’s just us,” you walk over to the chair next to Mingi and sit down in it, placing a hand on his arm and tilting your head. Your small touch alone made Mingi shiver.

“Well, we…” he glances over at Hongjoong who nodded his head in approval. “we like you.”

That wasn’t what you were expecting at all. Well, you kinda did expect it but it was surprising. They said it so easily as if they weren’t scared to tell you earlier. Averting your gaze to Hongjoong, he nodded slowly as if saying what Mingi said was true. You knew the boys wouldn’t lie to you. You all made an agreement that you’d tell each other anything no matter what it was.

“Sorry if it’s so sudden,” Hongjoong sighs deeply. “I know I said I wasn’t really looking to date anyone and Mingi knew that too, but you kinda just…came into our life and changed it ever since.”

“Do you both like me? I already know the answer but I like it hearing it from you guys.” you smile and kick your feet.

“Oh my god,” Mingi chuckles. His deep voice was always so attractive. “First Joong liked you and I may or may not have teased him a bit for his stupid crush on you. But then I started understanding why he liked you and then I started liking you. We kinda had to come to an agreement since we didn’t know what to do if both of us liked you.”

“I’m not gonna say we argued, but we argued.” Hongjoong chuckles behind his desk. “We both sorta agreed to being okay with the other liking you, but we don’t know if you’re okay with…dating two people.”

“Joong, are you kidding? If it’s you two I don’t care. I’m actually kind of relieved that you guys don’t mind dating me. I thought I’d have to choose between you guys and I didn’t want to do that.”

“Well now you don’t have to since you know we both like you,” Mingi leaned back in his chair — manspreading. You thought you had better self control but you definitely didn’t. Just seeing him sit like that made you rub your legs together. You weren’t aware of the fact that the boys saw you doing this, nor were you aware of the looks they gave each other.

“So…I assume this means we’re — dating? All of us?”

“Would you like that Y/n?” Hongjoong averted his gaze, his eyes glazing over your body. He could never get over how good you looked in his and Mingi’s clothes. Being surprisingly shorter than Mingi and Hongjoong, their clothes were always baggy on your body, which made them so comfortable. He liked watching you rummage through their closets trying to find an outfit for the day since you had given up on wearing your own clothes.

“I would love that!” You say with a gummy smile, a bit too excited for your own good.

“I’m kinda surprised you didn’t say anything about us before. I mean, you said you knew we liked you,” Mingi said.

“Well I didn’t wanna say anything before because I wasn’t really sure. I only went by the things you guys were doing and you guys were doing a lot.”

“Like what?” Hongjoong tilts his head.

You didn’t think he’d ask. “Y’know, getting jealous whenever I looked or even talked to the other members, over complimenting me even when I looked bad, always staring at my body — Mingi, you liked looking at my tits. I always caught you look at them,”

“You looked at her tits?” Joong raised his eyebrow at Mingi.

“I-I did like once,” Mingi scratches the back of his head. “You’ve looked at her ass before so you can’t sit here and act like you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“You’ve looked at my ass before?” the question made them both flustered. You weren’t necessarily surprised by the behavior; more so happy they even admitted to doing it. At least they felt comfortable enough to tell you things like that.

“Well are there any more embarrassing things you guys wanna spill about each other or are you guys done?”

Hongjoong started giggling, covering his mouth with his hand and looking at Mingi. You could tell it was something stupid based off the way he sounded.

“Mingi didn’t know how to—”

“Shut up dickhead!” Mingi shouted defensively not even allowing Hongjoong to finish. Him interrupting only made Joong laugh louder. His laughing caused you to start laughing.

“Joong say it! What is it!” You lean closer, arms resting on the desk. Mingi tried covering your ears but you kept moving.

“He was scared to tell you he liked you because he thought you guys would kiss and he didn’t know how to kiss so he asked me to help him!” Hongjoong almost fell back in his chair laughing, his headphones falling off his neck and his legs kicking underneath the desk. Mingi was definitely embarrassed, though he seemed to be embarrassed because he couldn’t kiss, not because he kissed Hongjoong.

“You guys kissed? Like — on the lips? Or…” —

“On the lips, Y/n, I didn’t say he could go that far. But he did it to impress youuu! I already know how to kiss so I was fine teaching him what I knew.”

You nod and turn to Mingi. “So he taught you? You know how to kiss now?”

“I-I guess,” he cleared his throat nervously. “You want me to show you?”

“Are you guys really gonna makeout in front of me? If you’re gonna do it, let me watch.” he stands up from his seat and moves toward the couch you were just sitting on, taking a seat himself and positioning himself so he saw you two making out — if you were even going to do so.

Mingi’s eyes glazed over your features, seeming to be glued to your lips since he couldn’t take his eyes off of them. Leaning in slowly, his hand lifting and resting on your cheek while pulling your face closed, his and your eyes closing. Hongjoong sat watching in anticipation with his foot tapping on the ground, a wide smile on his face. He kept whispering the words ‘kiss her’ and ‘hurry up’ since you two were taking a bit long.

With his hand holding your cheek and your faces inching closer and closer, your lips finally attached. He captured your lips tenderly, your expression softening as you relaxed in his hood, leaning gently into the kiss to create more friction of some sort. He was enjoying it himself as well — having his arm wrapped around you pulling you deeper into the kiss and making sure you couldn’t back away. Not like you planning on it. It was crazy — a bit unbelievable how he didn’t protest when you asked him to kiss you, but you were happy he was doing it.

As the two of you kissed you felt someone behind you. The only other person in the room was Hongjoong, so you could only assume it was him. He watched closely as you two kissed, growing a bit impatient himself since he didn’t get the chance to kiss you yet.

“Mingi, hurry upp. I wanna kiss her too,” he whined behind you. Once Mingi’s lips separated from yours, Joong’s fingers curled around your neck and leaned down, attaching his own lips to yours and holding you still. Whatever you had gotten yourself into, you couldn’t possibly take yourself out. It wasn’t like you wanted to but you knew you were going to have a fun night.

In full honesty, it was a lot to take in. The both of them were kissing you, their hands all around your body overwhelming your senses. It’s not like you haven’t imagined the two in bed before but for it to happen now was so unexpected.

“She’s so pretty,” Mingi mumbles under his breath, hands gently caressing your thighs. “so gorgeous.”

Hongjoong pulls away from your lips, running a thumb across your cheek. “You think we should do it tonight? Of course, if she’s okay with it.

“Okay with what? W-What do you guys mean?”

“…” Joong looked at Mingi then back to you. “Y’know, a threesome.. If it’s too unexpected we don’t have to do it—”

“Y-Yes! Yeah, whatever you wanna do to me, do it. Please.”

They didn’t have to be told twice. As Mingi pulled you into his lap, Hongjoong stood behind you and held your hair out of your face, fingers still wrapped around your neck as Mingi pulled you into yet another kiss. Your tongues fought for dominance but Min won, making you feel like your body was going numb. They played with you as if you were putty. You began to grind your hips onto Mingi while holding onto his shoulders, moaning into his mouth because of the friction. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to get you wet. Just as you were doing so, you felt something big rubbing against your crotch.

You knew what it was.

“Aw she’s moving on harder on you,” Joong teased, his hands moving all across your body and even groping your breasts. “You got hard that quick?”

Mingi broke away from the kiss. “Well what would you do if a girl you liked was grinding on your dick? Would you not get hard?”

“I would but still, damn.” Mingi lets go of you and allows Hongjoong to pull you away from him. He brings you over to the couch and finally settles you into his lap, hands caressing your thighs like Mingi’s did earlier, giving your clothes heat access to his own bulge. You lazily drag yourself against his length. This alone had you soaked in your panties and you were about ready to rip them off of your heated body.

“My pretty girl grinding on me like this,” Hongjoong almost growls in your ear, hugging your waist and groaning softly in your ear. “you’re such a dirty girl,”

“Mm,” you whimper. “I… know,”

Not realizing Mingi had come over, his hands reach underneath your hips and grab the hem of the bottoms you were wearing, pulling them off and discarding them onto the floor next to him. Joong tilted your head at an almost uncomfortable angle to attach his mouth onto yours and you eagerly return the kiss, tongues clashing together.

Mingi watched you grind on each other, though he’s not sure he can handle watching you two do it any longer. He pulls your hips forward and pushes your underwear to the side, hands squishing your thighs and lips enveloping your clit. You jolt and moan into your kiss with Joong while holding onto his leg, gripping for your life at this point.

“So wet,” Mingi hums. “for me?” his fingers come to play with your folds. Your body was surging with such an electric feeling you felt lightheaded. With simple touches, you were already crumbling. It wasn’t like this with your past partners in bed.

His hand slides underneath your ass and attaches his mouth to your heat. Your core was twitching so much, already overstimulated by barely anything. Hongjoong took this as his opportunity to grope your breasts, now comforting you as Mingi ate you out. His tongue moves in and out of you, spending a few seconds looking for that one spongey spot inside of you. Your thighs close around his head, and your back arched off of Joong’s chest.

You couldn’t focus on his hands on your body while Mingi ate you out like this. It was impossible.

Once his fingers enter you everything goes blank, your legs closing immediately and you having to break away from Hongjoong’s kiss to catch your breath. You came so quick and easy it was almost embarrassing.

“She’s so cute!” Hongjoong cooed as he rubbed your waist. “Came so quick from barely anything.”

“Please…” you moan softly, arching your back and trying to grind your hips on Hongjoong again. “I-I… want—”

“We’ll give it to you, baby.” Mingi spoke as he stood to his feet. Joong lifted you from the underside of your legs and placed you on your back on the sofa, Mingi now replacing him and getting between your legs. He stripped himself of his sweatpants and pushed his boxers low enough to where his cock could spring out.

It would be an understatement to say he was just big.

“M-Min…, that’s not gonna fit,”

“Then I’ll make it fit.”

As you were ready to protest, a sharp pain seethed through your body. You hadn’t realized Hongjoong slid behind you and help you lay on top of his chest, your lower body feeling numb once Mingi went inside. You were too focused on the literal intrusion that your body was going through to realize Joong’s hand moving to your clit. He delivered a sharp slap to it, making you lurch forward and cry out loud.

“Aw, poor baby can’t handle it,” Joong murmurs as Mingi began thrusting.

Your walls were contracting against his cock with every movement, hips angled so he could hit your deepest parts. He was so big, stretching your walls and making it feel like you were being ripped apart. Mingi tried going slow so you could adjust to his enormous size, but good god, he was huge. Adjusting to his size was going to take a very long time. He kept glancing at you to check your facial expressions, stopping the movement of his hips if he felt like he was hurting you.

“It’s okay, princess,” Mingi said calmly while doing slow strokes. “I know it’s a lot, just breathe.” his deep voice helped you calm down much faster. He grabs ahold of your hips and speeds up the pace of his thrusts. There was slick already sliding down your thighs.

Immediately your hands flung to his body, hips grinding against him to feel some sort of friction. Your nails dug into his skin while you tried holding on for dear life. It was so much to handle at once.

Reaching your hand back, you were desperately searching for Hongjoong’s dick, anything to hold on your hands. You felt bad since you hadn’t done anything besides kiss him yet, so this was the last you could do. Of course, he attempted to stop you saying he didn’t need you to do anything, but you weren’t listening. You were being driven by sex.

“Y/n, you don’t have to—” your hand grasps onto his clothed dick. He did want you to touch him, so he allowed you to do whatever to him. Of course, the angle at which you were laying made it difficult for you to stroke him, but you tried your best, running your thumb over his slit and spreading his pre-cum all over.

“Joong why don’t you…fuck,” Mingi cursed, head spinning from how nice you felt around his cock. “f-fuck her face. Give her something to do with her filthy little mouth,”

“I-I don’t think she can even hear us—”

“Little whore already fucked out?” Min pants and deepens his thrusts.

Hongjoong slid from underneath your now limp body and grabbed a fistful of your hair, lifting it and wiping the drool off your cheek with his thumb. Mingi held your hips with his nails digging into your body, leaving crescent moon shapes embedded in your skin, while Hongjoong was preparing to face fuck you.

He pulls his pants down to his thighs, pulling your head closer to his hips by your hair and slapping his cock on your cheek. You couldn’t handle the scene unfolding in front of you.

“Open,” Hongjoong spoke, slapping his tip against your lips. You obeyed and lazily opened your mouth. It opened more as he pushed himself inside of you.

“So warm,” he groans. “so wet, all for us.”

Joong was much bigger than you imagined, and you weren’t ashamed to say you had thought about Hongjoong naked before. It was safe to say you’ve thought about all of the members naked. The only ones you’ve thought of the most were Mingi and Hongjoong, mainly Mingi. Even seeing only his collarbone sometimes would cause you to drool. Hongjoong had you drooling whenever you saw any part of his body.

His hips moved back and forth, pushing his cock in and out of your mouth, making sure to hit the back of your throat with each thrust while also making sure you were still breathing. Though you didn’t mind if he made it hard for you to breathe. Being used like a cum dump by these two has been a dream of yours for a while.

“Fuck, baby, your mouth feels good…” Hongjoong groaned as his pace accelerated. You gagged each time his tip hit the back of your throat, but you didn’t care.

A sharp thrust from Mingi’s hips caused your body to jerk and for a string of fire to shoot down to your core. Your moans were muffled due to Joong being in your mouth, but it only fueled Min to go faster inside of you, thinking about how you’d sound if your mouth wasn’t full right now. Joong placed his hand on the back of your head and began thrusting his hips faster, droll trickling down your bottom lip and down your chin from the stimulation.

Your thighs wouldn’t stop twitching. However, how could they stop? Mingi was plowing the last amount of life out of your hole, and Hongjoong used your mouth as if you were a glory hole for him and only him for his own personal use.

How could you possibly stay still during all this?

“I think—fuck, I think she’s close.” Mingi groans and plants his hands on the couch cushions, freeing your hips from his hold and allowing his own to angle differently so he can strike into you deeper.

Your head was spinning at this point. You had no control over the noises you made or your body anymore. Everything about you belonged to them now. Knowing you were close to your release, Hongjoong pulled his member out of your mouth and slapped it on your cheek gently, allowing you to rest your head on his lap while Mingi was wrecking your hole. Your eyes rolled back, your head fell, and garbled words spilled out of your mouth. All you can do is whine and cry out in pleasure while your head spins.

Mingi brings his hand down and presses his thumb against your aching clit, rubbing in fast circles to push you further over the edge until you tipped over, curses spilling out from your swollen lips alongside Mingi's name. At the same time, Mingi held onto your thighs and bottomed out inside of you finally dumping his load inside of you. Your head falls into Hongjoong's lap. He runs his fingers through your hair, easing you through your orgasm.

"You okay, tiny?" Hongjoong caresses your cheek. It took a moment to catch your breath after everything that happened. Jesus, that was a lot.

"I..." After catching your breath, you looked at Hongjoong with puppy eyes and a pout you knew he couldn't resist. "Joongie~" you whine while reaching for his hand. Mingi couldn't help but laugh at how desperate you were. How completely fucked out you looked too.

"What is it?"

"You haven't gotten a turn yet..." you mumbled while pulling on his shirt. Mingi moved out of the way without saying a word, gesturing for Hongjoong to come over. The two men switched places with Hongjoong near your hips and Mingi behind your head caressing your cheek.

Hongjoong wasn't as big as Mingi, but his length made up for it. You knew it would hit your sweet spot easily. Hongjoong positioned himself in front of you, tip lined up with your entrance and his unoccupied hand holding onto your hip. Slowly -- achingly slow, he pushes himself into you in one go, holding onto your hips tightly to not lose balance. Mingi, on the other hand, had his hand on your breast playing with your nipple. So much was happening at once it was hard to keep up.

"It's okay," Joong coos, beginning to thrust in and out of you gently. You were still so sensitive from your orgasm with Mingi. Hongjoong had just started, and it felt good. "Fuck, you're tight."

Out of nowhere, he picks up his pace. He didn't give you enough time to adjust to his length and started pounding into you, gliding his cock in and out of your warmth and watching your juices coat his member. When he heard a whimper escape your lips, he knew he was doing a good job.

"Babe," he says in between pants. "T-Touch yourself for me, yeah? Give Mingi a show while he watches,"

Embarrassed but ultimately turned on, you complied and slithered your hand down your stomach and toward your throbbing clit, rubbing rough and fast circles on it to bring yourself closer to orgasm. Hongjoong winced as you clenched around his cock from the sensation.

"Oh, fuck please," you cried out. "I-I'm gonna cum, slow down-!"

"Already?" Mingi chuckles. "What do you think, Joong? Should we let her?"

"Dammit, if she does, then I-I just might." he shudders, both hands holding onto your hips and slamming his cock in and out of your sopping hole. "I think, fuck, she's been good. Let go, baby."

You were so so close to cumming, the speed of your fingers speeding up as the circles you were rubbing in became sloppy. Occasionally you'd lose focus and wouldn't even move your fingers due to your brain turning to mush. Their voices sounded muffled in your ears. Everything they said went through one ear and out the other.

"Fuck fuck fuck-!" the volume of your moans gradually increased until you couldn't handle it anymore and came. You arched your back and curled your toes, holding onto Hongjoong's wrists. You clenched so tightly around his cock that it pushed him over the edge. He dumped his load inside of you, moaning your name and panting heavily.

"Wow.." Mingi whistles, looking at your fucked out face. "You're so pretty when you cum."

"Shut up," you replied, embarrassed with your hands over your face.

"That was fun," Hongjoong sighs deeply. "I'd do it again." he says while looking at Mingi. Mingi nods in agreement and the two look at you, waiting for your answer.

"I...wouldn't mind."

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine your kpop group and Ateez uniting to try and get you and Jongho together

Your group had been telling you that you were perfect for Jongho for ages and Ateez had been doing the same for him. They claimed you were both incredibly similar and had lots of similar interests. You didn't doubt them but you were stubborn and so the more they pushed the more they resisted...and so did Jongho. Your groups worked for the same company and got to see each other a lot so the teasing happened often. Basically, anytime your groups got together it would come up like tonight. Your groups were going a summer collaboration and today was the official pitch from the staff. Your groups were let into the room at the same time and you went to take a seat when Seongkwa paused "wait, shouldn't the babies sit together?". "Yeah so they have someone to talk to!" your member echoed. You and Jongho immediately started pouting but they pushed you both together and San burst out laughing "oh my god they're even dressed the same and you realised you were. You were both wearing a black shirt, black jeans, boots and an aviator jacket. Your members were practically rolling around on the floor while you both sighed. Sometimes you did think it was far too easy for them. Not only were you and Jongho the same age, but you were also both the maknaes in your group and were strong and mature for your age. Like Jongho you could also break fruit with your hands and went on a show with Everglow's Aisha and Dreamcatcher's Siyeon to showcase your talent. You both had quite an impressive cool look and had similar personalities. Not to mention you were powerful vocalists who could sing the house down. So you did get why they teased you so much but that didn't stop it from being annoying. "It's a popular jacket right now" Jongho said crossing his arms and then stopped when he realised you also had your arms crossed which made them all laugh even more. Finally, the management appeared saving you from any further harassment and explained the concept. They basically wanted you to both do a medley of your songs but against one another is a sing-off. So your group would perform one song and Ateez would respond with one of their own songs and it would keep going like that. You realised immediately as the main vocalist of your group, you and Jongho would probably be going head to head a few times and waited for your group to realise that. It took them a while but they did. "Wait so does that mean the vocalists will be the ones interacting?" one of your members asked. The staff misunderstood her "they will be but the dancers and rappers will also get to interact". "But we'll be interacting with the version of us on the other team right?" she asked with a smile and everyone else got it and waited for your manager's response. She nodded "yes that's how it will work" and everyone exploded. "So cute!" Mingi said while one of your members claimed the chemistry and vocals would be amazing. "Oh my god it's going to be a battle between lovers!" San cried. "We're not lovers!" you and Jongho said at the same time which made them all go crazy and even the manager smiled.

The members were all too hyper to make any more decisions so the staff let you finish early and you all headed out to the restaurant across the street. You and Jongho purposefully sat at opposite ends of the table but somehow kept catching each other's eye. You also ordered very similar meals, you picked the crab noodle soup and Jongho selected the crab ramen. You even went to the bathroom at the same time and sighed as you did it. Jongho went to sit back down but you shook your head trying to tell him it was okay and you'd wait but he gestured for you to go. So you went and as you came out of the bathroom whom did you walk into but Jongho? You both winced and Jongho shook his head. "Sorry" you offered but Jongho's eyes widened "no I wasn't shaking my head at you! Just how the universe seems to love throwing us together". You smiled "yeah it does, doesn't it". Jongho nodded "that and our members". "Yeah I'm sorry about mine" you said and Jongho nodded "me too, I keep thinking if we ignore them they'll leave us alone but it's been how long now?". "Nearly 3 years" you said and Jongho's eye widened again. "Wow" he said "and I think this is the longest conversation we've ever had". You went to deny that when you realised he was right "shit yeah...that sucks". Jongho nodded "yeah but what can we do". You nodded unsure what else to say and gestured back through the doorway "I'm gonna head back to the table before they get suspicious". Jongho nodded "good idea" and you parted ways. As it sunk in that was indeed the longest you'd ever spoken to one another it hit you how sad that was. Jongho was nice and from what you'd heard of him a pretty good person. So you pretended you'd forgotten something in the toilet and headed back. You waited for Jongho and he jumped when he saw you "Y/n? Are you okay?". "No, I mean yes I'm fine but I just thought. What if we've been playing this all wrong?". "With our members?" Jongho asked and you nodded "maybe we shouldn't ignore one another and just show them there's nothing going on. That we can be just friends". Jongho nodded "so what we'd talk to one another and interact?". You nodded "and sure they might make a big deal out of it at first but over time they'll see it as normal and stop teasing us". Jongho agreed "okay yeah that sounds like a good idea, so should we walk back to the table together as our first act?". You smiled at how he said that and nodded "yep" and set off together. When you turned the corner so all your members could see you, there was a slight gasp and all the heads turned but you pretended like you didn't notice and chatted about your weekend plans. Then you said bye to Jongho and went back to your seat. You looked up at your members and shrugged "what?". Jongho got a similar response. "Dude! You were with Y/n!" Mingi said and Jongho got the feeling you were totally right about this. Jongho nodded "yes, groundbreaking that we know each other". "But you two never talk" Yunho pointed out and he shrugged "well why not? We're coworkers and can make polite conversation for the minute walk from the bathroom. It's not a big deal so can somebody pass me the sauce?". Yeosang passed it to him and they all realised they weren't going to get the reaction they wanted so changed the subject. Jongho looked up and caught your eye, he smiled. After that, the two of you slowly but surely started interacting more. It was awkward at first because you'd never spoken to one another and there was still a lot of expectation there of course but you managed to overcome it and became friends. Which was good because you really liked Jongho! You were very similar and had lots of shared interests. He was chill and relaxed but could also be cheeky and fun. You liked how easygoing he was but also liked his competitive side. It didn't take long for you to start comparing workout schedules. One of the things you and Jongho bonded over pretty quickly was your love of exercising. You had similar workout routines and dedication to fitness so you started going to the gym together...which brought out your competitiveness. You were both athletes at heart and so began competing with one another. Jongho was stronger than you but you were faster and had better endurance. So you'd casually suggest you go for a run and feel a sense of triumph when he started to cool down after half an hour and you were still going. Similarly, Jongho would ask you to spot him when he was doing weight to show off and you'd up your own weights to try and keep up with him. You both knew what was going on but neither of you mentioned it and pretended there was no competition afoot. It was actually quite fun, you both liked being challenged and the other was pushing you...but an unexpected problem arose. You actually found it quite hot. You loved how Jongho wasn't intimidated by how strong or athletic you were or that you could go toe to toe with him. He actually loved it and found it very attractive about you. So your gym visits had become more and more charged with an increase in flirting and more checking each other out. It was rather annoying because you wanted to beat Jongho so badly but kept getting distracted by how amazing his arms looked or pondering how someone could look wonderful covered in sweat. You were currently watching Jongho wondering if you would call him gleaming or shimmering when he called your name "Y/n how many was that? I feel like I've done tons". You blinked "what?". "How many reps was that". You paused "I erm lost count sorry, my mind wandered". Jongho grinned "to what? You just don't want to admit I just did 30 reps!". "There was no way that was 30!" you cried and the two of you jokingly bickered and you realised you'd never noticed how beautiful Jongho's smile was. Your mind wandered again and you missed what Jongho had said. "Sorry?" you asked and Jongho smirked "wow you really were telling the truth! I actually saw your eyes go all unfocused as you space out, what's been distracting you so much lately". You immediately went pink and began to babble about work but Jongho seemed to get that because he also blushed too. "Should we finish for the day?" he asked and you nodded.

You walked home together because another thing you had in common in you lived in buildings next to one another. On the way home Wooyoung called Jongho. Jongho's volume was quite loud and as they were talking you heard Wooyoung ask where Jongho was. "I'm coming home from the gym" he said and then told you, you'd have to walk another way because the bridge was closed. "Who was that?" Wooyoung asked and Jongho paused "Y/n, we work out together". "Ahhh another gym date!" Wooyoung cried "when are you two just gonna start fu..." he started when Jongho hung up. "Bad connection" Jongho said pretending he'd lost him and you nodded acting like you hadn't heard but once again you were blushing. You parted at your opposite building blocks and Jongho waved goodbye to you, promising to see you in rehearsal tomorrow.

In hindsight, with your growing crush on Jongho, you should've stayed away from him but you didn't want to. Between work, exercising and the occasional socialising you saw Jongho nearly every day and were soon becoming a duo. You got mistaken for a couple a lot and everyone at the gym assumed you were dating and of course, there were the members too. Your plan was kind of working and kind of wasn't. Half of Ateez had backed off figuring there was no more fun teasing you because you were friends, that was Yeosang, Mingi and Seonghwa. However the other half, San, Wooyoung, Yunho and Hongjoong, just amped up their teasing and used your new friendship as more motivation to tease you. When you walked in the next day San waved to you "so how was the gym date with Jongho? Did the two of you get all sweaty together?". You shook your head trying not to blush "stop, we did but not like that". "Yeah you should come with us sometime San. We don't just work out to look good and would cream you" Jongho said coming over. You nodded "yeah pretty boy why don't you join us after work". San smiled "It's so cute that you're now a little duo, like a cuter batman and robin". "Which one's batman?" Seonghwa asked overhearing and at the same time you and Jongho both said "me" making the Ateez members laugh. "You're just too perfect for one another!" San called wrapping an arm around Jongho who shrugged him off easily. With your summer performance on the horizon, you were now getting stuck into the choreography and figuring out how you'd all be situated on stage. It started out pretty separate. Ateez would start and then you'd "crash" their performance. You'd both sing your latest songs to promote them and then start going into your classics. Then you'd start merging more and songs that went well together would be sung at the same time. Your main dancers would face San and Yunho and then the rappers would do the same until it was time for you and Jongho to have a vocal battle. They'd purposefully picked ballads and the idea was for you to just sing to one another. Jongho would do a line of his song then you'd do a line of your song and back to Jongho, continuing until you hit your high notes. Then after that was the fun part where you'd both sing each other's songs before finishing with an Exo song. You and your members were huge Exo fans so you were super excited. "Jongho you will sing Chen's line and Y/n you will sing Baekhyun's line" the manager said and several of your members laughed making the boys pause and you blush. "What?" the Ateez boys asked and you hit them insisting it was nothing. "No what is it?" Yunho asked grinning "Y/n?". "Y/n has a thing for Baekhyun!" your fake maknae cried and you leapt on her. "You traitor!" you cried hitting her and the Ateez guys all laughed...except one. Jongho. "Ohhhh she has a crush on Baekhyun!" Hongjoong said and Wooyoung shrugged "who doesn't?". Seonghwa shrugged "he is extremely talented, all of Exo are". "It's not just that, she thinks he's hot" one of your members explained and the others nodded "she always freaks out if we're anywhere near Exo at award shows". "Stop it!" you cried "it's not that bad! I just had a crush on Baekhyun when I was a trainee and I still get that panicked feeling when I see him sometimes but I'm not still into him". The guys all nodded but didn't stop smiling because you'd pretty much directed that right at Jongho. Jongho looked down when you met his eye but it did put him at ease. He'd had crushes on older idols too so he told himself that was all this was...and then also reminded himself he wasn't meant to care anyway. He wasn't supposed to have a crush on you and he realised he'd well and truly lost that battle. The performance was only a week away so your groups were together pretty much all the time and it was nice because you all got on well. You'd all eat together and started a group chat. You got to know the quieter members like Yeosang and Mingi and truly all got to bond and become friends. You and Jongho spent a lot of time together coordinating and practising the vocals. You'd been nervous at first to sing in front of such a good singer like Jongho but actually came to love it. He was a very good duet partner and it was singing with someone who could match your range. You hit a high note in your song and paused as Jongho stared at you, missing his own cue. "What? Was that not right?" you asked but he shook his head "no it was amazing! So much so I was just a little stunned". You blushed "I...thank you" but Jongho didn't look away "you're welcome. You're very talented Y/n". You were now bright red but met Jongho's eyes "thank you, I'm really glad we're getting the opportunity to perform together". Jongho smiled "me too" and then the track started from the beginning and you both got ready. Before you knew it the night was here and after wishing each other good luck your group and Ateez retreated to their dressing rooms to get ready and then you were on the wings across from one another. Jongho's eyes widened as he saw your outfit and Wooyoung burst out laughing. "You can pretend you don't fancy her all you like but your face cannot lie!" Wooyoung cried and the guys grinned seeing Jongho blush. He was so flustered he didn't know what to do so he just shrugged. "So you admit it?" San asked and Jongho shook his head "I....she just looks really nice". The guys all awed as Jongho blushed even more. "For what it's worth she totally likes you too" Seonghwa said and Jongho looked up "you think?". Yeosang nodded "yeah, I've watched her around you and she totally does". That made Jongho feel on top of the world and he grinned "let's smash this performance!" and ran to get into position. You didn't see Jongho until you were out on stage but you didn't get much time to process how great he looked...or how you'd been dressed in similar styles. Apparently the stylists were in on the running joke or they'd just realised the two of you had similar styles but whatever it was, your outfits matches one another perfectly. On your cue, you strut in the middle of Ateez's performance and "crashed" their song making the fans go wild because this hadn't been leaked at all. Your leaders pretended to start arguing and then your member proposed a battle and all the fans screamed. You kicked it off first with one of your songs and then Ateez jumped in and did their's. Then you jumped back in doing one of your hotter songs and the boys all pretended to be shocked by your saucy choreo. They then retaliated by doing one of their hot songs and you all pretended to not be bothered but watching Jongho in that outfit doing that dance did make you falter. Then it was the dance battles and your girls did amazing. They knew San would explode on the stage so they did and San grinned realising they'd purposefully been toning it down in rehearsal. This might just be for fun but your group were treating it like a battle. The dancing intensity picked up and then it switched to the rappers who engaged in some rapid back and forth until everything went silent and they panned to you and Jongho alone in spotlights beside one another. You began singing first and the stadium was silent. You got goosebumps when Jongho joined you and were amazed at how your voices complimented one another. You couldn't see anything because of the bright lights but it may as well have just been you and Jongho in the room together. You were focused on him and the energy of the place was amazing. You both reached your highest notes and sang them together and the crowd finally all screamed and broke into applause. You both held the notes and at the same time broke away, it went better than it ever had been in rehearsal and Jongho grabbed your arm in the darkness. "That was amazing" he told you and you nodded rushing to get back into your next position. You performed each other's favourite songs before you got to the Exo one. That's when everyone cut loose and all the planning went out the window. Your dancers went crazy performing moves on stage you'd never seen them do. Ateez responded and then even the none dancers got involved. Everyone began doing the Exo choreography and Jongho shot you a look because this wasn't planned. You just grinned and shrugged and joined in. Jongho followed your lead and you sang the chorus together. The final note was meant to be Jongho's but you joined in and he smiled as he realised you were challenging him. You both held it for as long as you could and then you poked Jongho in the side making him break off. Your group all cheered as they determined that made you the winners and everyone was laughing. You ended with another popular Korean song and then all bowed and the stage went dark. Your groups rushed off together and exploded. "That was so good!" Hongjoong cried and your leader nodded "amazing! We've never performed like that". "Us either" Yunho said and you all gushed over one another, compliments flying everywhere. You caught Jongho's eye and smiled "so I think I won". He grinned "you cheated you poked me!". "Guess we'll have to have a rematch then?" you asked and he nodded "definitely". Jongho went to speak again when Hongjoong cried "okay everyone drinks are on me let's go!" and all your members rushed outside to the cars. You and Jongho looked at one another before hurrying after them. When you arrived Wooyoung talked the staff into giving you the best table and Hongjoong paid for the round and opened a tab for you all. So the boys were pretty serious about celebrating but so were you guys. You'd all worked incredibly hard and formed good friendships so it quickly turned into a fun night. This collaboration gave you so much confidence and as you passed other idols they congratulated you all on your performance, complimenting your voice and you smiled back thanking them. "You seem really happy" one of your members remarked and you smiled "I feel happy, tonight was one of the first nights where I went out there and just performed. I didn't think about what the fans or critics might say or what I should or shouldn't do...I just lived and it was so liberating!". "Okay how much has she had to drink?" one of your members joked and you blushed before the others shushed her. "Don't listen to her Y/n I think it's sweet". The others all agreed and one of them smiled "and I know it doesn't matter but for what it's worth the fans all loved it, especially your friendship with Jongho". "They did?" you asked and your member nodded passing you her phone. You scrolled through many posts on Twitter praising the two of you and many people enjoying your interaction. "Y/n and Jongho's friendship gives me life" one person wrote. "So cute seeing Jongho and Y/n together, love it when the maknaes team up". "The way Jongho looked at Y/n when she started singing with him was so cute, anyone smell a romance?". "I don't care if they're just friends or more their relationship is perfect!". You read all the comments and watched the video back of the two of you together and smiled. "That is so cute" you commented and the others nodded. "I have to say...you and Jongho are really good together in whatever way and we're sorry if we ever tried to force anything" your leader said and the girls all echoed that apologising. You shook your head "it's okay! We're friends now and it didn't ruin anything so all is forgiven!". "In that case another round of drinks on Hongjoong!" one of the girls cried and you all began placing your order. When you returned to the table you slipped into your seat between Yunho and San. "Ohh what did you get?" San asked and you told him the beer name. "You could order anything and you order a beer?" San asked. You shrugged "it's what I like to drink, I think it tastes better than cocktails" pointing to San's fancy one and he gasped. Jongho however laughed "you're totally right Y/n!" and you smiled at him. San shook his head "I can't believe you two! I need another cocktail just to process what you said" and he disappeared. Jongho moved up and took his space and when you looked at him he shrugged "what? The chair I'm on isn't comfy" and he joined you on the bench. "So...earlier you said something about a rematch?" Jongho asked and you smiled "yeah, anytime anyplace!". Jongho grinned "okay you free Monday lunchtime?". You nodded "I'm there!" and Jongho smiled. "You know whoever loses should have a punishment". Jongho nodded "of course, what are you thinking?". "How about they have to buy the other person dinner?". "Dinner?" Jongho asked and you nodded trying not to blush "yeah like we can go out to a restaurant and whoever loses has the pay? Or something else if you don't want to do that" but Jongho shook his head. "No dinner is...dinner is fine" he said as his voice broke. "Good" you said smiling and blushing slightly and Jongho smiled back "okay" also blushing. You were both so focused on trying not to blush that you didn't realise who was approaching you until he was right in front of you. You looked up when a shadow passed over you to see Exo's Baekhyun right in front of you. Jongho's eyes immediately went to you and he saw you pause. Your eyes went big and you jumped a little. "Hi" Baekhyun said "I just wanted to say well done to both of you! You killed the song". Jongho smiled and looked at you where for once you were struggling to speak. "Wow you have no idea how much that means to me. I've idolised you since I was a trainee" you said finally re-covering the ability. Baekhyun smiled "aww really? That's so sweet thank you". "She was really excited when she got your lines" Jongho said and Baekhyun chuckled "I'm so flattered, you'll have to let me buy you a drink to say thank you". “Really? Sure” you nodded and asked Jongho if he wanted to come too but he said no. He watched you go with a heavy heart but there was no way he was going to stand in the way of you and your dream guy. 

Jongho couldn’t help but watch the two of you chatting and saw you exchanging numbers passing your phones to one another. He had hoped you might just remain friends with Baekhyun but the man was charismatic and successful and you were talented and gorgeous. It was bound to happen...so that’s why he was so surprised when you returned to your seat beside him half an hour later. 

“Hi” you said popping up next to him and Jongho blinked “I thought you went with Baekhyun?”. “Yeah just for one drink” you smiled. “but I...you like him, he’s your dream guy” Jongho said confused “please don’t feel like you have to be polite and come back to us”. You shook your head “Baekhyun might’ve been my dream guy once but that was a while ago. I know I didn’t have to leave him but I wanted to come back here...with you". Jongho blushed "thank you" and you smiled "you don't have to thank me". Jongho nodded "I know but I'm pleased you want to stay here with me, I enjoy spending time with you". You nodded "I do too, it's kind of annoying in a way because all our members were right" you said looking to the dance floor where a group of them were assembled. "In what way?" Jongho asked carefully and you looked down "in that we're very similar and do get along well. I know originally the plan was to do this just to shut them up but we've accidentally proven them right". Jongho shrugged "yeah but I think I'd rather than then us realising we hate each other and proving the wrong". You nodded "yeah I could never imagine hating you" and Jongho smiled "me either, you're actually the person I talk to most after the guys and that's only because I live with them". You chuckled "yeah you too! I've gotten so much fitter because I'm with you at the gym so much". Jongho shook his head "I can't take credit for that, you were plenty healthy before me". You smiled "true and I am still stronger than you" prompting some outrage from Jongho and you both bickered playfully for a while before calling a ceasefire.

You chatted again about other things before the members pulled you up to dance. You and Jongho weren't huge dancers but stayed for a few songs to appease them. You could see Jongho's dance battery was running out so made a gesture to go outside and he nodded immediately coming over to you. He lightly grabbed your arm and steered you towards the door "just go or they'll never let us leave" and laughing you stepped outside. The night air was so clean and crisp, you inhaled a nice deep breath before lapsing into a comfortable conversation. You'd just finished explaining what you wanted all your pets to be called when silence settled. You figured Jongho found your in-depth naming too tiresome half drunk but you were wrong. "Y/n?" Jongho asked and you turned towards him to see his staring at you. By the look on his face, you guessed what he wanted to do and wanted it to happen so you smiled "yes?". "I think our members were right about everything" he said and kissed you. You kissed him back wrapping your arms around his neck and Jongho pulled you closer. "Yeah I think they were" you agreed before kissing him again. You pulled away a little while later but both stayed close together. "I like you Y/n" he said and you blushed "I like you too Jongho". He beamed before adding "and not just now, I've liked you for a while". "Oh god we really are the same because same!" you cried and Jongho grinned "really?". You nodded "but can I ask, if you liked me, then why did you resist your members pushing us together so much?" you asked. Jongho shrugged "based on your reaction I thought you didn't like me". "I thought that about you!" you cried and Jongho laughed shaking his head "so basically our members tried desperately to get us together and yet are the main reason we're not a couple?". You nodded "yep which is ironic but not unsurprising". "Not at all" Jongho agreed before he paused "so would you like to go out sometime? I was going to wait for you to lose on Monday but want to take you out either way". You shot him a look and gently prodded him "big words and we'll see how true they are on Monday...but yes I'd love to go out with you". Jongho grinned his gorgeous gummy smile and blushed which made you melt. You were both just staring at one another enjoying the moment when your members caught you. "What the fuck?" you heard Hongjoong say and turned to see all your members standing in the doorway. "We're you two just..." one of your members asked when Seonghwa smirked "you were weren't you?". Jongho and yourself hesitated which was all the time in the world they needed to explode and tease you. "I knew it!" San cried while Wooyoung teased the two of you. Mingi smiled bashfully and Yeosang nodded saying quietly "you're cute together". "Okay everyone shut up!" Jongho yelled "Y/n and I don't have to answer any of your questions, leave us alone". "Yeah you do we're not going all night without an answer" Wooyoung said and Jongho looked at you and you got the same idea. "Run!" you called and dragged Jongho away from them. They gave chase but you and jongho were the fittest members of the group and kept going long after the others had stopped. You were holding hands. laughing and feeling like complete idiots but also so invigorated and alive! You stopped and sat down on a bench outside a shop that was closed. Jongho sat close to you and you turned to look at him. "That so so stupid and fun" you smiled and Jongho nodded "it was perfect! I don't want to share this with anyone" he said taking your hand and you melted into one another. "What time is it?" Jongho asked and you told him it was 4 am. "The sun will be up soon, wanna watch it?" he asked and you nodded walking down to the lake which wasn't far away. You stood side by side as the first rays appeared and watched the sunrise in each other's company. The two of you hadn't realised tonight was your first date but it ended up being the best one ever.

[elllisaaa]

ateez as lana del rey songs - hyung line

-> pairing : ateez hyung line x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.7k words

-> genre : angst, toxic relationships, break-up stories

-> warnings : a loooot of angst under many forms, mentions of complicated childhood, self-depreciating thoughts

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | 1k event masterlist

hyung line | maknae line

KIM HONGJOONG - HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A WOMAN LIKE ME TO HAVE

Being the eldest of a big family that was always short on money taught you some sense of responsibility a little too early. You spend your whole childhood taking care of your siblings rather than going out to play with the few friends you managed to keep. And as you grew up, your parents relied on you more and more. Instead of hanging out with your friends when you were in high school, you had to pick up your younger siblings at school and bring them home, you had to do all the chores your parents supposedly couldn’t do. When you were still too naive to understand, you thought it was normal, that it was your duty as the eldest. But you later discovered that they spent their days getting drunk, that they quitted their jobs often, that they were the reason you had to cut your own hair and that you couldn’t have your bike repaired by a professional. 

The more you matured, the more you realized how unfair the situation was. The day when your youngest sister called you “mom”, it was like everything finally clicked, like the puzzle’s pieces finally came into place. You felt so much guilt for letting them down, but your brother was now old enough to take care of everyone for you while you studied and maybe have the chance to finally help them get out of the hell they were raised into. 

And you succeeded. You became an editor like you always dreamt about when you were a kid. But the feeling of not belonging anywhere was still there. You felt like an imposter, like you had no right to be where you were now. It all changed when you met Hongjoong at a party your company organized for the release of a new book from one of your star authors. He was charming, outgoing and he made you feel at ease, he made you feel like you belonged with all these people you usually felt so distant from. 

And it was always like that with him, even when he invited you to some fancy restaurant for your dates, he made you feel safe and accepted you just as you were. It was all a dream, you were living the life you wanted when you were a little girl. Hongjoong gave you everything you wanted, even when you didn’t ask for anything. You were showered with gifts, you were wearing brand clothes, had your nails and hair done all the time, and you felt like a princess. Hongjoong gave you everything you needed, and more. He loved you, and you thought that nothing could ever separate the two of you.

But just like when you were a child, the fairytale didn’t last. When you were with him, everything was right, but the second he left your side, it was like everything was back to normal, as if people saw you like you were : a girl who never had money, a girl who didn’t fit in this rich’s man world, a girl who smiled for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts, but you were not. Most of the time, you just felt like a trophy wife, and everyone saw you as a gold digger. And you ended up believing all of that. Despite Hongjoong trying his best to reassure you, you couldn’t believe him. It was impossible when you were remembered of your status everywhere you went, when everyone made sure to remind you where you were coming from. 

“- I just… I can’t keep pretending Joong, it’s too hard for me.”

You had tears in your eyes as you tried not to look at him too much, afraid that your resolve would crumble as soon as you crossed his gaze. 

“- But it’s not pretending, baby. You have every right to be a part of their world, of my world. I don’t want to break up with you over some dumbass that can’t see how incredible you are.”

What you always loved about Hongjoong was also what you hated the most in this instant ; his ability to give you hope in every situation. But hope was a dangerous thing for a woman like you to have, a dangerous thing for a girl that never had anything to have. But you had it, he gave it to you and you had to force yourself to let it go to stay sane.

“- You know that they’ll never learn their lessons, they will always see me like some intruders that infiltrated their circle. And I just can’t take it anymore.”

Hongjoong took one step ahead, his hands finding yours and like a reflex, you intertwined your fingers with his. Everything with him felt so natural, but the rest of the world, of his world wasn’t ready to accept it, and you couldn’t put yourself through another mentally draining relationship. You were already seeing all the arguments, all the doubts, and the tragic end of it all. And you’d rather leave him with only good memories rather than after months of fights, tears and screams. 

“- I don’t understand where all this is coming from. You seemed so at ease. Weren’t you happy ?

- Don’t ask if I was happy, ‘cause you know that I was not. You understand me better than anybody else Joong, you knew it was a mask all along right ?”

And he only nodded. He tried to convince himself that you were sincerely alright, but he couldn’t deny the truth when you were telling him face to face.

“- But at best I can say I’m not sad. I’ve never been sad by your side. You deserve better than me.

- I don’t want anybody else, Y/N.”

And you didn’t want anybody other than him, your heart was yelling at you to stay in his arms forever, but your brain couldn’t accept it yet. Maybe that one day, you will be able to disregard all the critics. Maybe that one day, you will be able to face your problems and not run away from them. Maybe that one day, you will stop pushing away your happiness and the people that brought you joy only because you were scared. Maybe. But for now, you had to leave and hope that you made the best decision - even if right now, seeing Hongjoong begging you to stay with him, it felt like anything but a good choice.

PARK SEONGHWA - 13 BEACHES

Seonghwa had always been a part of your life. When you were in middle school, you would spend every break together even if you weren’t in the same class. When you were in high school, you spent all your weekends at each other’s house and skipped the classes you found boring together. When you went away to college, he became your roommate and your only focal point. So you weren’t surprised when you realized that you had fallen in love with him one day. It had been slow, but your affection for him only developed and bloomed with the years, growing from an innocent crush to a real attraction that you couldn’t ignore anymore. 

You tried to get past your feelings anyway, pushing back your revelation to the back of your mind, and acting like you usually did before this epiphany. You even tried to go on more dates with other guys in hopes it would be enough to tone down everything you felt for Seonghwa, but it obviously didn’t work. When you were only happy to have someone to hug a week before, the cuddle sessions had suddenly turned into something a lot more meaningful, a lot more intimate. And even if you didn’t want it, everything had in fact changed and there was only one thing you could do about it : confess.

You were afraid to break your ten years long friendship, of course, but you had to tell him for the sake of your mental health and because you didn’t want to lie to him. You still remembered every word your pronounced to this day, and you also remembered clearly the tears that fell down his cheeks as he held you tight, telling you that he was the happiest man on earth, that he couldn’t have asked for a better gift and that he was ready to do everything for you and your well-being. 

And it honestly all felt like a dream. Seonghwa was caring, treated you like a princess and he was your number one supporter. Your family loved him, and his loved you too. You thought that you were going to marry him, that you were going to grow old with him, that you were going to spend your whole life with him. And at that time, it was all you wanted, it was all you needed to be happy.

The downhill came in slowly, unexpectedly. One day, the sun was shining, birds were singing and Seonghwa loved you. And the next day, the sky was covered in gray clouds, rain was pouring and you were only able to communicate by screaming at each other’s faces. But you tried to make it work, you made up each and every time. And you believed everyone around you telling you that it took some arguments and efforts to make a couple stronger. So despite all the signs telling you to leave him, that it clearly wasn’t good for either of you anymore, you still stayed, and Seonghwa did the same. You didn’t want to waste all these years together, you didn’t want to simply let go of the most important person of your life. 

But in the end, you realized you had to, that it did more wrong than good to stay with someone you couldn’t live with anymore. Because the issue was not that you stopped loving him, on the contrary, it was that you weren’t compatible anymore. It hurt to love him, but you still loved him, it was just the way you felt and you couldn’t change it. And when you talked about it, Seonghwa felt the same way. It didn’t surprise you ; you’ve always been on the same page. But it still was difficult - so fucking difficult - to leave each other, to leave the person you had grown up with, to leave the person that literally knew all of you, to leave the person you had loved for you entire life and still didn’t stop loving. 

It was scary to suddenly be on your own, but it was even scarier to notice that everywhere you went, Seonghwa was always there too. Could you really let go and let his memories dance in the ballroom of your mind ? Every little thing reminded you of him. All the things he liked were engraved in your mind and you thought about him every time you saw one of them. You wanted to text him everyday, you wanted to call him and tell him about the silliest details of your life before having to remind yourself that he was not there anymore, that he was gone. 

“- But you still can find me if you ask nicely, bunny.”

You smiled at him, but the intensity of his gaze never failed to make your heart skip a beat, even still now.

“- You have a girlfriend Hwa. I don’t think she would like to know that you’re still seeing your ex, you know ? And you seem happy, I don’t want to ruin it all because I’m selfish and I can’t move on when you clearly did.”

Sometimes, you would crack and ask Seonghwa to meet up at the coffee shop where you used to study when you were still in college. Sometimes, it warmed your heart to be able to see him, to be reminded that despite everything that happened, nothing really changed. But sometimes, you walked away even more hurt than when you got there, because you saw everything that you lost and that you were never going to get back. It felt wrong to let him take your hands, but it made you feel alive again.

“- I don’t care about all that. You know what you mean to me, right ? I’m never letting you down, even if you’re my ex. Never. 

- Don’t do that, please…

- Do what ?

- Make me feel like you still love me.”

Tears were prickling your eyes, and you could see Seonghwa’s eyes shining more than usual, you could hear the shaking in his voice and the emotion behind his words when he talked again.

“- That’s because I still love you. I think I’ll love you forever. You’re my soulmate.”

And it was the problem. Soulmates were supposed to stay together forever, but all that he did was leaving. Leaving and leaving again. Maybe you should move on. Surely. But you couldn’t. After all, you loved him too. 

JEONG YUNHO - SUMMERTIME SADNESS

Family vacations had never been your cup of tea : you couldn’t do everything you wanted, you had to watch over all your little cousins and you couldn’t even go out at night. Too many people, too many family members you didn’t even like and not even the opportunity to make friends for the month you had to spend there.

That was your opinion before you met Yunho. You only played volleyball with him and his friends at the beach one day because they were missing one person for their team, and the two of you naturally clicked. It was like you had known him for years, when it only really had been a couple of days. But it didn’t matter because it was summer and that you wanted to have a good time and only that. 

So you started to ditch your family and the group activities to go spend time with Yunho instead. Sometimes his friends were there too, and sometimes you were alone with him. And even if you sincerely appreciated his friends’ company, you preferred when it was only the two of you. He was kind, caring, funny and attentive. He took you out at night, paid for your drinks and complimented you constantly. 

It all felt like a little bubble, far away from your responsibilities and the adult life, far away from all your worries, far away from everything that wasn’t Yunho. He honestly looked too good to be true but you decided to take what he had to give and not think too much about the moment it would have to stop. So when he drunkenly kissed you one night at the bar near the beach, you kissed him back. And when he asked you to spend the night with him, you agreed in the blink of an eye. 

No one had ever made you feel as alive as him, and you knew if you went away, you'd die happy that night - all the memories of your adventures engraved in your mind forever. But when the time came to say goodbye, it felt way more heartbreaking than it should’ve been. Yunho was only supposed to be a fun pass time during your holidays, he was supposed to stay the guy you had met this summer that you would tell your friends about, but he was so much more than that. Yunho was the guy you told your whole life to because you simply felt so at ease, so comfortable with him. Yunho was the guy who healed all the wounds everybody had left on your body. Yunho was the guy who made you believe in love again. 

“- I’m going back home tomorrow.”

It was too hard saying that and looking him straight in the eyes at the same timeç, so you directed your gaze to the waves crashing on the sand instead. The moon was shining in the sky, and you could see a ton of stars illuminating the darkness of the night. 

“- I don’t want you to.

- Me neither.”

And you finally crossed his eyes ; they were glistening with the same sadness, the same melancholy, the same gut wrenching feeling as yours. You just wanted to throw yourself in his arms and never let go. But you couldn’t. 

“- At least, give me your number, please. I can’t let you walk away without even trying.

- We’re literally living in different countries, Yunho. It’s impossible.”

And he knew it too. He knew it from the start but he couldn’t resist you, he couldn’t help being attracted to you. He had to try, he had to show you that you changed the course of his life forever.

“- Then kiss me hard before you go.”

This time, you accepted his request. You cradled his face in your hands, and you let yourself taste him one last time. You’ll probably miss him forever, like the sun misses the stars in the morning sky. And he would miss you forever too. So you were going to hold on to the memory of this night when he told you he loved you, with the sound of the ocean serving as a background noise and the moon casting shadows over his perfect face that you could have recognized even if you were blind. Yunho was the kind of person you could never forget, and it hurt more than what you could’ve imagined. 

KANG YEOSANG - BORN TO DIE

You never planned anything in your life, you loved when things were unexpected and you loved to be surprised. But you never meant to fall in love with Yeosang, and maybe it would’ve been better if you didn’t. It had nothing to do with him, it had to do with his life, with yours, with the timing. When you met him, he was already very busy with his job, and you knew it was gonna be hard but you were willing to support him through whatever it would take. 

These three words were never pronounced, you never had the nerves to actually put a label on what the two of you were because the lines were blurry from the start, and you were too afraid to clear them out. But it was implied : you knew it and he knew it too - or at least you thought. You were not in the best mental state when you first met him, and you knew it was complicated for him too. Usually, you would have never got involved with someone like that, but there was just something about Yeosang that you didn’t understand but that attracted you like crazy. 

So you ignored all the red flags ; you ignored the time he was taking to answer your texts because when you actually talked, it was incredible and it felt like you had known him for years, you ignored all the signs your friends pointed out about his behavior because he made you feel heard during a time when you felt so alone. You ignored everything that went wrong because you didn’t want to lose him, because you didn’t want to let him go despite how distant he became after some time. 

And you let him have that space, you let him go away for a bit because you truly loved him, because you truly wanted to help him. The thing was that Yeosang wouldn’t let you do that. To him, everything was alright, he was doing good - even if everyone around him could tell that he was clearly not. And you couldn’t help someone that didn’t want your help, right ? But you still tried, you still insisted. You kissed him hard in the pouring rain, because he told you that he liked his girls insane. You took an interest in all the things he liked because you wanted to feel closer to him. You did everything you could to be by his side but it never seemed to be enough - you never seemed to be enough. 

But you always tried to find a way to defend him ; he was not in the right mental place, he was only putting on a mask with other people but with you he was different. Deep down, he was a good guy. Because you weren’t the best to be around at that time either ; you were always insecure, always needed reassurance, you couldn’t be left alone or you would sink down the rabbit hole of your thoughts, you needed a reason to wake up in the morning and it was hard to find one most days. But he had became a good reason. Except that it wasn’t the right time. None of you were doing well, none of you were ready to be in a relationship, and it all went down. 

“- I don’t even understand you anymore, Y/N ! What do you want from me ?

- The only thing I’ve ever wanted was you, for fuck’s sake ! Is that too much to ask ?

- Maybe.”

You felt a pang in your chest when you crossed his cold gaze. You knew it was all an act, as always, you knew that he was lying because he wasn’t ready to open his heart to anyone, but it hurt nonetheless. 

“- You don’t mean that, Yeo…

- I do, stop assuming that you know me better than myself.”

You tried to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, but Yeosang was on the verge of crying too. Despite everything he said, he was perfectly aware that you knew him better than himself, and it broke his heart to let you go but he had to. You were right for him, but it was the wrong time. And you knew it too, so you had to choose your last words - this was the last time, because you and him, you were born to die. 

“- Don’t make me sad, please, don’t make me cry. You know that sometimes love is not enough.”

And that, Yeosang knew for sure. Because if love had been enough, he would’ve never let you go. If love had been enough, he would’ve spent forever by your side. But it was impossible. Right now, he couldn’t stay with you without destroying both of you, but he had some hope that when he would be in a better place, he could find you again and love you like you deserved to be loved, treat you like the queen you were. Yeosang never believed in fate, but you came into his life for a reason, you came to make him realize everything that he ever did wrong. But he did you wrong in the process too. One day, he’ll make this right. Hopefully.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

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[daemour]

Promise - Hongjoong

Part of Anthology

Every two weeks, I will post a drabble (and sometimes longer) alongside a prompt that went with it. The prompts may be songs, scenarios, or more.

M: Hongjoong

Wc: 1874

Warnings: Cursing, arguments

Genre: angst, some fluff, hurt/minimal comfort, e for everyone, established relationship

Summary: An argument with your boyfriend turns into something worse, and you're not sure how to come back from it

-

Hongjoong works hard, it’s not hard to see. He spends all his time in the studio whenever there’s a comeback, a tour, or an event. It’s commendable, and you love him for it, but it also wears down on your relationship. It’s the fifth time he’s come home late this week, and the other two days he just didn’t show up, sleeping on the work couch. You tried to bring up your worries as peacefully as possible, honest you did. But sleep-deprived and stressed-out Hongjoongs are not known for their patience.

“Hongjoong, I’m just trying to make sure you take care of yourself.” You’re done with this argument, but it appears your boyfriend is not.

“I don’t need you to do that, (Y/N),” Hongjoong bites back. “I’m a grown adult and I can make my own decisions.”

You shake your head, exasperated. “I didn’t imply you were anything else, but why don’t you try acting like a grown adult then?” You’re definitely not helping the argument end, but at this point, you’re quite annoyed at him. “You can’t not take care of yourself and then get mad at me for worrying. I’m not your parent, so stop making me baby you.”

“Then fucking leave,” Hongjoong’s voice comes out cold and you recoil. The two of you have had your fair share of fights, as all couples do, but never before had Hongjoong used that tone on you. No matter how angry he was at you, he wouldn’t ever speak to you like a pest in his life, nor has he ever cursed at you in a serious manner.

“Fine. Fuck you too, then,” you hiss, tears filling your eyes. Without another word, you spin on your heel and leave him standing in the middle of the living room by himself.

As you head down the street with nothing but your phone, you start to regret your decision. It would’ve been more safe and just as impactful if you locked yourself in the bedroom for a few hours. It’s windy and the fall air has a chill to it, and as if to prove your point, you feel drops of rain on the top of your head. As soon as you duck under the roof of a nearby convenience store, it starts to pour and you roll your eyes angrily, the bad weather not helping your anger at all.

After letting the anger stew in your gut for a minute, you pull out your phone with a sigh. You debate calling Hongjoong, but you’re still sore from the fight and would much rather eat grated cardboard than be stuck in a car with him. Your friends are not an option because they’d immediately notice your anger and you can’t tell them about your relationship with Hongjoong, nor do they know you’re even in a relationship in general. So you call the next best option.

“(Y/N)?” What’s up?” Understandably, Wooyoung's voice is full of confusion. You have all of the Ateez members’ numbers in case of emergency, but you’ve never needed to call them aside from Seonghwa once. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry to call you out of the blue, but I got caught in the rain after an argument with Hongjoong and I don’t really want to be in a car with him right now.”

Wooyoung sighs. “I told Seonghwa it was a bad idea to let Hongjoong go home all pissed,” he mutters to himself or another member, you don’t know. “I’ll be right there, okay? Send me your location.”

“Yeah. Thank you,” you sniff and end the call, not wanting to seem even more pitiful than you already feel. One text from Hongjoong glares at your face. ‘This is Yunho. Come back when the storm ends.’ With a scoff, you delete the notification and huffily enter the convenience store.

One iced tea later, Wooyoung walks in, San tagging behind him to no one's surprise. “(Y/N),” San greets you with a smile and it hits you that Hongjoong hadn’t smiled once at you the entire time he was home that day. “Are you doing all right?”

At the kindness you miss seeing from Hongjoong, you break down. San and Wooyoung immediately surround you, wrapping you in their arms and ushering you to the car where you can cry in peace. Once you’ve calmed down enough, you explain everything with the occasional hiccup and sniffle. “I shouldn’t have pushed him, but he’s never said that to me before,” you end with a groan and let your head fall on the back of the passenger seat.

“No, yeah, that was out of line for him to say,” Wooyoung says and San makes a noise of agreement. “I get being tired, we all are and he has worked extra hard, but he shouldn’t take it out on you. He knew he was frustrated, and he should’ve taken some space or even asked you for some space more politely.”

“It wasn’t your fault, (Y/N). You weren’t looking to argue, it only escalated because he snapped,” San reassures you.

You sigh, nodding miserably when your phone dings. This time, Yunho texts you from his own phone. ‘Come back soon…he’s worried and so he’s angrier’ and it’s followed by a couple of emojis. You frown. “Should I go back? Yunho is with him and says he’s angrier cus he’s worried.”

San and Wooyoung exchange a look before Wooyoung speaks up, turning the key in the ignition. “Tell you what, we’ll go with you and if Hongjoong acts out of pocket again, we’ll bring him back to the dorm and get a manager noona to stay the night with you.” And as much as you don’t want to inconvenience one of their staff, you also don’t want to be left alone in the apartment and you begrudgingly agree.

When you walk back in the door, you see Hongjoong pacing the floor with Yunho on the couch attempting to placate him. “Hey guys,” he waves and you smile back and mouth a ‘thank you’ just as Hongjoong registers Yunho’s words.

“Where were you?” Hongjoong whirls around and glares.

“I left, just like you told me to, Joong. Are you ready to to talk like adults now?”

“Don’t lecture me when you went gallivanting into the rain with your holier-than-thou attitude,” Hongjoong starts to argue again but San’s low, dangerous voice interrupts.

“Finish that thought and you’ll have more pressing things to worry about, hyung. You’re coming back to the dorm. Now.”

Hongjoong scoffs. “You can’t kick me out of my own apartment,” he glowers, crossing his arms.

You’ve had quite enough. “They can’t but I can. Get out, Hongjoong. You’ve relentlessly insulted me and I do not deserve the attitude you think I do. Go to the dorms and cool down and don’t come back until you’re ready to act your age. The lease is in my name, I can and will kick you out right now, Kim Hongjoong.”

You’re tired, and you exit the room without another word, slamming the bedroom door behind you. You hear murmurs in the hallway and the faint noise of footsteps fades. A knock sounds on your door and you recognise Yunho’s voice. “I’m sorry about him, (Y/N). He’s been testy for the past few weeks. I called our manager to come and I’ll leave once she gets here. Take care of yourself and I beg of you, please don’t hate him.”

His voice fades and you can’t bring yourself to say anything. Your thoughts swirl in your head, confusion, hurt, all of the above. And once you hear the quiet mumblings of Yunho and the manager silence, you let the tears spill out of your eyes and you fall asleep soon after.

When you awaken the sun is up and you can hear the manager talking with someone in quiet tones. You’re somewhat sure of who it is, but you’re not sure you want to deal with that. It appears you’re going to have to, however, as the door closes and you hear familiar footsteps walking down the hall. Grumpily, you cover yourself with the blanket and do your best to pretend to sleep.

“(Y/N)? Can we talk?” You don’t grace him with a response but he’s known you for too long to fall for your acting. “I know you’re awake.”

“There’s not much to talk about,” you mumble under your breath but he hears you anyway and the bed dips as he sits beside your body.

"There's a lot to talk about, (Y/N)," Hongjoong's voice is quiet. "Let me lead with this—I'm sorry."

You tighten your grip on the covers. "Are you sorry or are you just trying to suck up to me? This isn't something we can just gloss over."

Hongjoong laughs sullenly. "Yes, Seonghwa made sure I understood that clearly," he sighs and you can't help but smile to yourself at the thought of Seonghwa reprimanding his leader. "You know, Jongho threatened me?"

You manage a chuckle. "That I can believe."

A hand rests on where he guessed your head to be and you don't shake off the touch. "But aside from that, I really am sorry. I had no right to take my anger out on you or lash out, especially like that. You didn't deserve that." Hongjoong still speaks softly, solemnly. "I know I hurt you and I promise to do all I can to remedy that."

You pull the covers down a little to peek at him. "My anger waned a while ago, Joong. I'm more hurt than anything and I hope for your sake and mine that you never do it again."

Hongjoong nods and you can see the sincerity in his eyes. "I promise you, I'll hold you tight always."

-

Bonus:

"Hongjoong, I hope you know how immensely disappointed I am in you. " Seonghwa's glare and his crossed arms are what greet Hongjoong at the entrance into the dorm. Hongjoong groans but Seonghwa just shakes his head and the leader silences. "For someone chosen to be a leader, you do a shit job under stress."

"I know you're mad, but you will give me respect," Hongjoong hisses at the sound of Seonghwa cursing, but the oldest member tsks.

"Well, now you know exactly what you put poor (Y/N) through, and she handled it a hell of a lot better than you did." The rest of the members' heads peek around the corner to stare at the rare sight of Hongjoong getting scolded and the leader has half a mind to tell them off but Seonghwa's having none of that. "I want you to ruminate on the damage you caused to your relationship, and apologise first thing in the morning. (Y/N) loves you, Hongjoong, and you better work hard to prove you deserve it."

At Seonghwa's tone, Hongjoong finally slips out of the daze he's been in all day and his eyes widen. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Seonghwa nods. "You did. Fix it the best you can and I'm sure she will forgive you."

"I peomise I will," Hongjoong declares and Seonghwa smiles but his arms remain crossed.

"You tell her that. I don't need to hear it."

[huihuiheart]

Inked Up - Tattoo Artist! Song Mingi

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Ateez Masterlist

Pairing:  Tattoo Artist! Mingi x Fem! Reader

Genre: Tattoo Artist Au, Smut

Summary: Your first tattoo might just be what gets you addicted to them, well at least if you could get a replay of events next time you walk up to Mingi’s door.

Warnings: Protected sex, tattooing, slight subdom themes, fingering, dirty talk, praise, nipple play, mirror sex, slight overstim, honestly very tame for my smuts.

Word Count: 2791

Your hands were shaking as you reached for the door, though whether it was from nerves or excitement you weren’t quite sure. You’d carefully planned and selected not only what your first tattoo would be and where it should go, but also who exactly your artist would be. The interesting thing was that he didn’t typically take appointments, yet when you reached out to ask to see if he would even be willing to do it considering the design and the location he made a plan with you hearing that it would be your first so that you could mentally prepare. So here you were a special exception as you built up the courage to finally open the door and walk in. 

“Well hello there, pretty thing, you made it.” Mingi chuckles from behind the little counter, stunning you not only with the rasp in his voice but also his appearance. Standing tall with his hands on the counter pulling the unbuttoned sides of his shirt farther apart and exposing just a tad more of his chest with pretty linework across it, decorated with pretty chains. “I have the design all setup and ready to get on a stencil, but why don’t you come take a look at it again first?” 

“You sure? If you’re in a rush I understand.” You insist, to which he raises a brow moving to help you with your coat rather casually. 

“Oh for you beautiful I have all the time in the world, we don’t rush art. Especially not on such a perfect canvas. I’m prepared to take all the time necessary for us to get it exactly how your pretty little heart desires love.”  Mingi practically purrs into your ear before pulling away to hang your coat now, leading the way to where he had the piece sketched out for you to look at in person finally.  

With a few minor tweaks, the stencil was ready to go and Mingi had you take a seat at his workstation, getting you some water before stepping away to make sure he had everything he would need already there and ready to go. Setting up his station before turning to you with a smile and looking over your shirt.

“Whenever you’re comfortable, go ahead and get ready and lay back for me.”  Mingi smiles at you before turning away in case you felt nervous under his gaze, busying himself with his tools and the stencil he would soon lay onto your skin. Giving you time to slip off your hoodie and bra, laying back, and taking a shaky breath to calm your nerves about being like this in front of such an attractive man before clearing your throat to bring his attention back to you. Mingi takes a moment to appreciate the sight before him, eyes darkening just slightly before he’s moving to lay out the stencil, laying the ink onto your skin before bringing a mirror over to let you take a look at how the design sat across your sternum and underboobs. 

You look over it before nodding and laying back again, “It’s exactly what I wanted, I’m ready whenever you are.” 

“I’m not going to lie to you sweetheart, this piece is gonna be intense especially since it’s your first. So before we start I need you to promise me that you’ll be a good girl and follow directions, okay?” Mingi questions, tsking softly at the tiny little nod you give, “Now that’s not going to work love, you gotta talk to be baby.”

"Okay. I'll listen." You speak quietly, Mingi reaching out with a gloved hand to place it between your breasts and gently holding the skin so. The machine clicking on in his other hand, but not yet touching your skin.

"Keep still and keep your breathing slow like this pretty thing. It'll make it easier, and if it gets to be too much then you just let me know." Mingi assures before finally marking your skin for the first time causing you to hiss softly between your teeth trying to keep your breath steady for him. Feeling as though your eyes are playing tricks on you when you catch a glimpse of the proud smirk on his face before it's hidden by his black cap as he ducks down closer to focus on the details of what he's doing.

You're sure he's taking his time for your sake, marking your skin a little until he notices you start to twitch and pulling back to wipe it off even if he doesn't quite need to yet. You're grateful if not feeling a bit guilty over him needing to go slower than you're sure he's used to. That feeling bubbles up as he pulls back even further with a soft sigh.

"Why don't we take a break sweetheart?" Mingi asks, watching as you suddenly sit to grab his wrist and catch his attention. Though the sudden motion causes you to sway, slightly lightheaded after laying there for so long. Mingi helps you to gently lay back again, urging you to take it easy.

"You don't have to take a break for my sake, I'm okay. Really." You insist, causing Mingi to chuckle though it's not cruel by any means, stopping when he notices how you unconsciously pout. 

“Sweetheart... you can’t keep still and as much as I’d like to think that it’s due to how attractive you find me... I know you need a break. So let’s both have some water and stretch and then we’ll get back to it.”  Mingi stands, helping you get up as well, “Also... there’s nothing wrong with needing a break. It’s not a problem at all.” 

“But I want to get it done today...” The way your pout deepens makes him chuckle as he hands you a bottle of water, “Besides it doesn’t hurt too bad... I just... It’s weird and like stings a little so it’s a reflex.” 

Mingi reaches out and strokes over your hair before moving to cup your jaw in his hand, “I understand, still breaks are okay so just be good and listen to me, okay?” Your little nod makes him snicker before continuing with the next order, “Drink your water sweetheart.”

He watches out of the corner of his eye as he moves to get a water bottle of his own, humming in approval as he sees you bring the bottle to your lips, smirking as he decides to add to it as well, “That’s a good girl for me.”  

You nearly choke on the water, giving out a little squeak and making his smug expression only grow. Though he gives you time to settle yourself again, as well as himself time to stretch due to how long you both had been at it. Taking your laying back once again as a sign that you were ready and coming back over as well. His hands move to grip your hips, skin brushing against yours as he does.

“Ready to start again? Gonna behave for me still?” He chuckles when you nod, already knowing that it was only a matter of time before you start to squirm again. This time though when he moves the needle away it’s not to take a break, but instead to move where he’s at. Swinging one of his legs over your hips before settling his weight down enough to keep you pinned still and resuming. 

"What happened to staying still sweet thing?" Mingi teases looking up from underneath his hat, smirking at you, "Be good for me and I'll reward you however you like." 

"Oh, however?" You hold back your chuckle, staying still, but the teasing lilt is more than obvious in your tone. Though Mingi looks at you more seriously now.

"I did say, however, didn't I? Don't tell me your mind is going somewhere scandalous sweetheart. Are we both thinking about each other in such a way right now?" Mingi leans back finally, wiping off the design one last time before setting down the machine. 

"Both of us?" You question before hissing softly through your teeth as he wipes it off with alcohol now.

"Oh, of course, someone as sweet as you is before me, how could I not be thinking such things? So sweetheart, what will it be? How shall I distract you from the pain? A sweet simple kiss? Or something... more delectable? Perhaps you'll allow me a taste? Or perhaps you want my fingers? After how you've been staring at them it seems as though you do want them."  Mingi licks his lips at the thought before his hat is off along with his gloves and he's running a hand through his hair. 

"Offering me everything, hm? You don't trust one would be enough to finish the job?" Your words are met with a pinch to your nipples.

"Don't get mouthy now that I've offered you something sweet," Mingi warns in response to your coy question, undoing the button on your pants before looking up for your approval before continuing and actually removing them. The man did not even wait another second before removing your panties as well. 

Two of his fingers slip down and tease through your folds, before a smirk fills his face once again, "Oh so wet. Is this because you have a little thing for pain? Or a thing for me?" 

"For you." You nearly whisper, but the sound of you only makes him that much smugger.

"Such a good girl speaking for me, but I feel like we're forgetting something." Mingi hums, pretending to think as he brings his fingers down between your folds again, rubbing your clit softly, "Oh right, you have to see the finished piece."

Your brows knit in confusion as you look up at him. Surely he wouldn't rip away the pleasure he's finally now giving to you. You yelp in shock as he begins to move you both, turning you to face the mirror he brought for you to approve of the stencil and slips behind you, his fingers dipping lower now to slip inside as he whispers in your ear while his eyes remain locked on you through the mirror.

"Well, sweetheart? What do you think of it? Do tell." He encouraged as if his fingers weren't working to make your brain blank at this moment. The slow steady drag of his fingers made your head fall back onto his shoulder, something he wouldn't allow. His free hand gripping your jaw to tilt your head back down and focus on the mirror once again.

"Love it." You finally moan out, eyes glazed over and just slightly misted with the thinnest prick of pleasured tears. 

"It is beautiful isn't it, but not nearly as lovely as you look all fucked out like so. Such pretty bliss painting that face of yours." Mingi praises, kissing the shell of your ear as his fingers pick up their pace, "Watch how pretty you look falling apart for me sweetheart. Be a good girl and do that for me. Okay?"

"Yes sir." Your voice is breathy caught between moans, but the groan Mingi lets out in response to your words makes the efforts entirely worth it. Mingi's fingers working you up so close to the edge, and yet it's not quite enough even as his voice in your ear adds to the pleasure.

"So fucking pretty just for me, behaving so well and listening to my every word. Now I want you to tell me what it is you need. Tell me so I can give it to you." Mingi encourages, knowing that you're toeing the line of release and just need something...anything to make it happen now. He just has a plan of his own as well.

"More, please. I need more. It's not enough." You plead the tears lining your eyes getting thicker by the second as your release is dangled right in front of you like this.

"Oh sweetheart, I need you to be specific. That or I'll have to choose for you just what exactly more is." Mingi's words may be a warning or a threat, your brain isn't sure in its hazy state at the moment. What you are sure of however is that you don't quite care. 

"You choose, I don't care. Just please give me more. I need it." Your soft begging makes him chuckle, in the next moment however his fingers are gone and you are blinking through the tears to see him bring them to his mouth a whimper leaves you when you see the way his tongue moves around them to get every drop of you from them. 

"That's for another time sweetheart." Mingi smirks, free hand moving up your back now until it's between your shoulders and pressing down, making you lean forward and your back arch, "Stay just like that for me." 

You're about to say something again until you look into the mirror to see Mingi working on slipping off his shirt now. Further exposing the pretty linework decorating his chest and waist, some dipping below his jeans and making you wonder just where it goes. Your curiosity is soon answered, however, as he takes his pants off next revealing the rest of that art, along with some decorating his thighs. Mingi leaves only his chains on as he leans over your form, looking into your eyes through the mirror as he rolls on a condom.

"Keep those pretty eyes on me while I make you feel good, hm?" He requests as he teases his tip through your folds before pushing in too slowly for your liking, with how his praise makes you tingle though you don't dare disobey him by moving.

"So good." You moan your own praise as he bottoms out, his arms taking a place on either side of your head. Letting you watch how they along with his other muscles flex as he starts to thrust, chains dangling between his form and yours and swaying as he slowly picks up the pace.

"Already so tight around me, don't tell me you're going to cum that quickly." Mingi teases slightly, but his pace picks up knowing how his fingers kept you on edge for a while. One hand slipping down beneath you to let his fingers rub at your clit quickly, "Go on then. Be a good little slut for me and cum."

With not another second to waste you do as he says and cum around his cock, twitching beneath him as you swear your vision goes out for a moment feeling oh so perfectly full and pleasured at this moment. 

"There you go... that's my good girl. You're going to keep being good for me though and this time you're going to cum with me. Do you understand?" He isn't satisfied when all he gets is a moan and a nod, pinching your clit harshly in response loving the way you cry out, "I said, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. I understand. I'll cum with you. I will! I'll be so good for you I promise. The most perfect little slut you could ask for." You promise looking at him as a few tears finally start to fall when he goes even faster now chasing his own release.

" Oh you certainly are sweetheart, you most certainly are. I'm close now sweet thing, so cum for me. Give me that and push me over the edge." He practically growls into your ear, cold chain dancing along your back for a moment as he moves to lean back again and get better leverage to hit the spots that truly will throw you over the edge for him. The way you spasm around him through your high in effect sends him into his own release as he whispers soft curses under his breath as he rides you both through it. 

His hands catch you before your tender chest can fall onto the seat and he turns you over again. Going to get something to gently clean your legs. Getting dressed and helps you with your pants before he washes his hands and moves to sanitize your tattoo with alcohol again. His touch is delicate as he puts second skin atop the new inky design once it's clean once more.

"It'll be sore for some time and the itching will drive you mad, but I promise it'll be worth it. Come I'll give you care instructions. Though if you forget or need a distraction from the itch... I could always make a home visit." He winks, handing you a paper of instructions with his personal number scribbled at the top, "And don't worry sweetheart... for you, I'll pick up anytime."

[10nantscompanion]

In case you were thinking of getting a bubble or fromm subscription:

here's how the idol's I am or was subscribed to text

ateez:

Seonghwa:

seonghwa loml

he usually texts quite often!!

he's a very quick typer, so even though he's not online for long periods of time he still talks A LOT.

he talks very cutesy and slangy so - as a Korean learner - I sometimes have a hard time understanding him, but I feel like I've kinda gotten used to it by now haha I've definitely learned a lot of new words talking to him

sometimes he goes live on toktoq after being online on fromm 🥺

Yunho:

I've only just subscribed to him yesterday but he was online today so... I can give somewhat of a feedback I guess???

yunho talks a lot less cutesy than seonghwa does, so I can understand him quite well lol

was online for a longer period than seonghwa usually is, but he took his time typing his messages, giving me more time to think of a reply

OH

I've been telling him "goodbye" "see you later" "have a nice day" for... idk like 10 minutes until he actually left. HE SEEMED LIKE HE WAS GONNA LEAVE FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT BUT EVERYTIME I SAID GOODBYE HE CAME UP WITH NEW THINGS TO TALK ABOUT LOL

oh

while writing this post he went online again

TO SEND

THIS

San:

I didn't have him for long cause he was always online at inconvenient times (usually around 4 or 5 am where I live) so I kept missing him :(

he's funny though!!! especially when he talks about forcing seonghwa to workout with him lol

I learned some verb endings from him that I didn't know before

can't really say much about the way he talks cause I kept missing him

I do love him 3000 though

Taemin:

lots of selfies!!! and when I say lots I mean LOTS!! mainly gym, taxi and bed selfies

also a lot of cat content!!! (very worth it imo)

doesn't text a lot but he "calls" A LOT (so basically lots of video and voice live streams) sometimes even daily!!!

Xdinary Heroes

Gaon:

usually texts everyday but mostly just 1-3 messages a day

however sometimes he's online for an hour or so!! he's very cute!! (gets shy when he's being complimented haha)

he likes to take photos while taking walks!!! he also sends selfies pretty regularly!!

he barely ever sends voice messages though!! I think he sent like 1 during the last year lol

O.de:

SO MANY SELFIES

daily selfies!!!

doesn't text a lot but he does go online daily!! (maybe it's different now I've only had him for a few months a year ago or so)

Jooyeon:

not online regularly BUT when he's online he sends a lot of voice messages of him singing!!

he also likes to send goofy photos lol

skz

Chan:

barely online BUT he translates everything he says which is very cute!!!

he's as delusional as we are lol

LeeKnow

doesn't talk a lot BUT is online almost everyday!!

CAT CONTENT!!!!! (=^･ω･^=)

likes to send tiny LOUD voice messages

loves to take pictures of his food at very unflattering, unappetizing angles lol

Hyunjin:

phew

I've only had him for a month or so a year ago

sends quite a lot of pictures which is cool!!

online almost everyday but only sends a few messages

Felix:

sometimes online multiple times a day

occasionally won't be online for days or weeks though

BUT WHEN HE'S ONLINE he's online for hours lol

sends his entire camera roll

lots of voice messages (usually in Korean and English)

sometimes does song covers and asmr

lots of good night voice memos with kisses hehe

he's very silly and asks you to do aegyo in exchange for photos

he can be pretty sentimental at times too which is very cute!

[everythingateez]

ATEEZ as your boyfriend: Seonghwa

How you met:

It was just a normal day at work at Toys R Us, when a young man came up to the cash register you were working at. In his hands he was carrying a LEGO Star Wars R2-D2• 75308 Collectible Building Kit (2,315 Pieces), which he put down on the belt. You scanned the item, and as a formality you asked him if it’s a gift and if he would like to get it wrapped, which he kindly declined. «It’s actually for me, I really enjoy building LEGO,» he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and giving you an uncertain look. «No worries!» you answered with a grin, «I quite enjoy building LEGOs myself, but I could never afford this set…» you chuckled. Even with workers discount, that sweet LEGO R2-D2 is out of reach. After all, you are just a Toys R Us employee. You wondered what this fella is doing to be able to afford this set. «Thanks for not thinking I’m weird…» he said relieved, he probably gets a lot of snarky remarks about his hobby. «I’m actually not sure I could build this all by myself, so if it’s not too much to ask, we could build this together when you’re free», he suggested while tapping his credit card. You caught yourself blushing ever so slightly, but quickly managed to stop and stay professional. «Sure, I’d enjoy that,» you replied with a cheesy grin. You both agreed to meet the next day for lunch at a coffee shop to chill out and build his brand new LEGO set together. «By the way, I’m Y/N», you said, remembering you had completely forgotten to introduce yourself. «I’m Seonghwa,» he replied. He then gave you a cheeky smile, before he gave you a kind nod and an energetic wave as he headed out the door, letting you handle your other customers. The rest of your shift flew by while thinking of your encounter with Seonghwa, and you went to bed as excited as you’ve ever been.

Dating:

After your first hangout building LEGO, you quickly planned to meet again later that week. You definetely felt a spark with Seonghwa, but your were unsure if he felt the same way or if he saw you as only a friend. After all, he seemed like the guy who was kind to everyone he met, and he might’ve just been happy to find someone to share his hobby with. However, after a few weeks of knowing him, he suddenly gifted you the LEGO flower bouqet set. He had not built it, since he thought you could to it together, but he brought a vase to go with it, so it would be easier for you to bring the bouqet home. As you were about to leave with your fresh flower set, he suddenly gave you a kiss. You must have looked pretty shocked, because he backed away with an apologetic expression on his face. You quickly pulled him back, giving him another kiss.

The relationship (mentions of Halloween, tattoos, Justin Bieber's hit song "Baby", work, math):

- With Seonghwa, words are not needed

- As if it’s magic, he just knows your thoughts and feelings, and just how to respond

- His love language is definetely gift giving, but quality time is a close second

- For Halloween he made you dress up as Rey from Star Wars, his biggest celebrity crush

- He has a stash of temporary tattoos, since he really wants a tattoo but is scared of commitment

- Though, he is not scared of commitment with you

- You quickly made your relationship official to friends and family, it just felt right

- Whenever he is the ending fairy for a stage performance, he always does his favorite aegyo that you do (the peace sign placed on his chin)

- When he’s sleeping over at your place, he uses your toothbrush without you knowing

- He does not want you to see his personal toothbrush, as it is an electric toothbrush singing the tune of Justin Bieber’s «Baby». He just cannot tell how much time passes when brushing his teeth so he needs assistance

- He refuses to spend money on new socks, he’s wearing shoes anyways, so no one is going to see the holes. You throw them out and gift him new ones on different occasions

- Whenever you and Seonghwa are not occupied with your individual, hectic work schedules, you spend as much time together as possible

- Sometimes you go out and explore different parts of the city and areas surrounding, but usually you stay at each others places just doing normal, daily life things

- Looking at your calm and stable relationship, everyone around thinks you’ve been together for far longer than you actually have

- He refuses to do basic math and instead uses the calculator app on his phone for equations like «67+5». This also means he will not let you do basic maths either, and will always double check when you are out eating and such

- Payday means taking you out for shopping-day, he buys you anything you want. That means a lot of LEGO

NSFW (obviously mentions of sexual activities, but also drugs):

- While he is usually a clean and neat guy, in bed he is the total opposite of that

- Things humans were never meant to see: the sheets after you’re done fucking. Literally every type of bodily fluid is on there.

- Gives you one of those vibrators with a remote control so he can mess with you whenever, doesn’t matter if he can’t see you. Simply knowing what he is doing to you is enough

- Lots of hair grabbing

- «Whose pussy is this?»

- Way too big for you, but he knows you take it well

- Always growling in your ears and nibbling on them

- Also nibbles on your tits and nipples a lot, such a boob guy

- Sometimes he is the sweetest guy ever, other times he is extremely degrading and toxic, but it turns you on so whatever, fuck feminism

- Once, you tried out hallucinogens, which kept you going for hours on end

- However, your sex is always banging, so hallucinogens are not needed for your sex life

[starry-nights-garden]

Yunho ✧ A Dance for Two

✧ Ateez Yunho x gn!reader ✧ words: ~2.5k ✧ genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst ✧ warnings: suggestive, (reader is smaller than him, mentions of him ruffling his hand through reader's hair and picking reader up)

Desc.: In which you go through the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with asking your boyfriend Yunho to teach you an Ateez choreo.

“Pleeaaase!!” Your pleas echo through the practice room, a huge pout sitting on your lips. You know that’s the biggest weapon you have against your boyfriend, and how he looks away with a defeated smile on his lips, feeling shy for a moment upon seeing you act cute, as well as the way the tension leaves his shoulders at once tell you he finally gave up.

“Fine,” Yunho says, letting out a soft sigh and redirecting his gaze to you. “But don’t complain to me later when your entire body hurts!” You have been begging him to teach you the choreography for their song Thanxx for days now. Eventually Sunday has come, where usually he’d enjoy some time off, but he decided he should go practice and make use of the fact that none of the other members would interrupt him today. You suggested you would tag along because you haven’t watched him dance in quite a while, and truth be told, you miss watching your boyfriend’s calculated moves, and how he seems to be going with the flow of the music so effortlessly whenever he dances. Seeing this practice room date as a perfect opportunity to ask about him teaching you a few steps again, you eventually brought it up once more. The slightly annoyed sigh, masked with a loving smile, that followed told you he still isn’t the biggest fan of the idea, claiming you should at least start with something easier. After all, you don’t really have much experience with dancing, at least not to these kinds of choreos. However, in the end you managed to convince him to at least teach you the point moves of the chorus.

“Watch me,” he says, positioning himself in the middle of the room, far enough away from you so you should be able to follow his movements easily - or at least that’s how he thought it would go. He demonstrates the choreography for the entire chorus once, slowed down and while counting along, but by the time he reaches the third measure, your head is already spinning from the amount of moves you’re supposed to remember.

“Did you get that?” Yunho eventually asks after finishing, and you shake your head, staring at him with wide eyes and confusion written all over your face. He laughs. “Told you, it’s too hard for a beginner.” You gasp and shoot him a playful glare.

“Well, then explain it for a beginner! Do you think I can just copy your moves without the experience you or the other guys have?!” you scold him for assuming you could just follow along easily, to which he huffs and then gets into position again.

“Fine. I’ll explain it slowly then.” He does all the moves along with his explanations, and finally you feel like you might be able to dance along. “So before the chorus there’s the ‘Yes Sir’ part, right? You do a salute for that and stand like this. Then there’s a little break and when the chorus starts, you jump and cross your legs like this. No, the other way… yeah, like that.” He makes sure to correct you whenever you make mistakes. “Then you turn and put your arms like this.”

You copy the pose as he stretches out one arm fully, the other being bent in front of his chest, and then quickly placed behind his waist. This is about the part where you start seeing stars again, but you try to follow his instructions, and with how slowly he progresses you somewhat make it to the end of the chorus eventually. After the wave with both arms and then ducking away to change positions, he shoots you a bright look and gives you an encouraging smile.

“You’re not even half bad at this!” he praises you with a brief thumbs-up. “And now without me. 5, 6, 7, 8!” He claps along and starts slowly singing the first line of the chorus, while you just make eye contact with your reflection in the huge mirror in front of you and your mind doesn’t seem to want to finish buffering anytime soon. Eventually Yunho sighs, then laughs, and you find an endearing expression on his face.

“You forgot everything, didn’t you?”

“Uhhh… I remember this part?” You start running on the spot, alternating between throwing both arms in the air while singing the second half of the chorus. Yunho watches you in amusement for a little while, before interfering and getting behind you to correct your stance by touching you and guiding you into the right positions.

“Well, at least you got a tiny gist of it.”

“What do you mean?!” you yell out in frustration, shooting him yet another death-glare. “You can’t expect me to know everything from watching it only once!”

“But you didn’t just watch it once, did you?” He grins and pats your head one, two times. “I know you watched at least all of my fancams. And the dance practice. And probably the full stages too.”

“Hmpf,” you cross your arms in front of your chest and look away, pretending to be angry at him, even though he assumed right. This was indeed not the first time you’ve seen this dance, nor the second or third. 

“Should I dance along again?” he eventually suggests, and you reluctantly get back into position, nodding.

“That would help, yeah…” you mumble and listen to him counting from 5 to 8 again, and then starting to sing slowly. You somehow manage to follow most of his movements, though you struggle with the more complicated parts, where too many moves are combined at a fast pace. Your head starts spinning again, and eventually you malfunction, freezing in place while trying to comprehend what part of your body to move how and where, and you end up just cocking your head at yourself in the mirror again. Yunho stops singing and starts laughing as soon as he notices your struggles, and he approaches you to throw his arms around your upper body. Leaning in to take a closer look at your face, he can’t suppress a grin at your very apparent confusion.

“You have no idea what’s going on, do you?” he laughs, pointing at you. All you manage to do in response is pout angrily. Your boyfriend ruffles through your hair again and then leaves a quick peck on your lips.

“You just gotta feel the music and do what it tells you to! Really, if you look at it that way, it isn’t that hard!” He walks over to the stereo and turns on the song. “I’ll show you!” Dancing the entire first verse and chorus flawlessly, he leaves you gaping on one hand, and very discouraged on the other. “See?” he eventually turns the music back down and shoots you a proud smile. “It’s not that hard.” You just raise your eyebrows, debating on whether to call him an idiot or not, because you’re still not even nearly as good a dancer as he is.

“I really don’t think it’s that easy though…?” You comment, and he convinces you to try again. Even though originally you were the one who begged him to teach you the dance, you now regret it, feeling like you’ll never see the day you have it all down. To your surprise he starts the music again, as if wanting you to dance along, and when the chorus starts you barely make it past the first turn, and then just completely lose track of what to do, while Yunho dances energetically next to you.

“I’m not cut out for this, Yunho…” you eventually say with your shoulders slouched over. 

“I told you, you should start with something easier,” he answers, putting his arms around you to hold you close to him for a moment. “I’ll teach you some basics first, okay? And then we look into learning choreos again.”

“But…” you pout at him, about to protest. “I wanna know your dances…” He lowers himself a bit so he’s on eye level with you, and he gives you a sympathetic smile.

“Our choreos are hard, baby,” he tries to comfort you. “It’s okay if it takes you a while to learn them.”

“Well, I’m just gonna ask one of the other guys then!” you burst out suddenly, your frustration taking over you. “I bet they’re better teachers than you…” You puff out your cheeks and turn your back to him, to show how you don’t appreciate him not giving you enough time to learn at your own pace.

“Are you upset…?” Yunho asks carefully, and from the way his tone is more silent than usual you know that he’s worried he hurt you. 

“Do you wanna teach me or do you wanna prove to me that I’m not as good a dancer as you are?” you ask, not paying him a single look. It should be apparent to him by now that he did indeed hurt you, and you can practically feel his internal panic as he suddenly tenses up behind you, unsure what to do now.

“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t realize I was upsetting you…” he eventually forces himself to stammer out an apology. “I think… my pride took the better of me and I just… wanted to show how difficult our choreographies are… I’m really sorry…” Feeling his overconfident presence from just a few moments ago fading and turning more into that of a puppy who just got scolded, you sigh and turn around. You reach out to grab the collar of his shirt, and you get on tiptoes while you pull him towards you, eventually capturing his lips with yours. You give him a kiss that tries to convey that while he upset you, you forgive him, eventually ending with brushing your lips against his softly before you part.

“How about you just try again then?” you suggest. “I still wanna learn it, you know? So, if you don’t do the job then someone else will.” Upon being faced with the choice between him being the one who gets to have fun teaching you the dance or it being one of his members, it suddenly all seems very clear to him what to do.

“I’ll teach you,” he says, without so much as a hint of hesitation in his voice. “We have time anyway, so… there’s no need to rush.” He utters that last part more directed to himself than to you, you assume, and he doesn’t waste any time to get into position. “Okay, so… you made it until the turn, right? Should I show you the next part again?”

“Yes, please,” you answer, and he demonstrates it a few times for you, explaining every little thing to watch out for in detail. You can see he’s trying to be more patient with you now, standing closely behind you to correct your posture or to lead your hands into the right positions if you focus too much on what the lower part of your body has to do, making them ending up floating somewhere in the air awkwardly.

“You’re doing well,” he makes sure to praise you whenever you remember a difficult step, his warm voice filling your ears from behind you. You let him guide your figure into the right poses, finding yourself enjoying his hands carefully roaming your body a little too much, and eventually you lose focus on what steps to do next. 

“You’re not concentrated anymore, are you?” Yunho questions. “Wanna take a little break?” You spin around in response so you face him now, and you put your arms onto his shoulders, looking up at him with doe eyes. He’s a bit taken aback by your sudden change in mood, but only a second later a confident smile appears on his face and he leans in, knowing exactly what you want. He kisses you, lips melting against each other perfectly. He slides one of his hands to the small of your back to support you, while he lets the fingertips of the other trace the outlines of your body. Somehow forgetting all about what you originally came here for, your kisses grow hotter, breaths mingling when you part for air for just a moment. Overcome with the need to feel the other’s lips on yours again, you barely leave yourselves enough time to breathe. Your hand finds its way up into his hair, and as you tug at it he lets out a silent gasp, creating an opening for you to slip your tongue past his lips. Still refusing to break apart, he softly starts pushing you into one direction, until your back hits the cool glass of the mirror on the wall. Yunho places one hand next to you, trapping you between him and the surface behind you, and with the other he briefly cups your face, until eventually you are forced to part again for a second. Letting his hands travel down to your thighs, he picks you up off the floor, while you hold onto his shoulders and throw your legs around his hips, and then he continues kissing you. Leaving your lips eventually, both panting, he trails little kisses along your jaw and down your neck, burying his face there.

“Yunho,” you breathe his name.

“Hmm?” He responds with just that, before he proceeds to pepper kisses all over your skin. The slightly ticklish sensation makes you chuckle.

“We shouldn’t do this kind of thing here, you know…?” you remark. You are still at the company after all, and people might come in at any given time, though it’s unlikely on a Sunday.

“I know,” you hear him whisper, before gently biting your earlobe, and then pulling back to look at you. He places another lingering kiss on your lips, before letting you back down. When your feet hit the ground, you feel a sense of disappointment. So you snake your arms around his waist, continuing to look up at him.

“What? I thought we should stop?” he teases you now, causing you to pout again in frustration. Eventually you manage to tear yourself away, and you take a few steps towards the center of the room to bring some distance between you two.

“Right, I wanted to learn-” Your words are cut off when Yunho wraps his arms around your body from behind, putting his chin on top of your right shoulder. You dare to glance to the side only to meet his half-lidded eyes looking at you.

“However, we could go to your place and I… teach you some other dance moves?” You gulp at the question, but don’t hesitate to answer.

“Sounds good, yeah.” You turn in his hold and kiss him again, slowly moving your lips against his. “My roommate won’t be home anyway…”

[woojungz]

junghoon x KQ trainee!reader 🥤🎸

❝ one shot

𓂃𓈒 junghoon and his oblivious crush who doesn't notice just how much he's head over heels for them, even though he's trying so hard to make it known. featuring: hyunwoo as his wingman(⁠˘⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠˘⁠)

word count: 5.1k

author's note: um yeah i disappeared for a month(⁠･⁠o⁠･⁠;⁠) this fic is set throughout the course of your debut preparations as another group under KQ!

( likes and reblogs appreciated!♡ )

you were initially spooked when you entered KQ as an impressionable trainee, scouted for the next group the company is set to debut in a few months. you have to thank your seniors for the scare, receiving warnings about how you shouldn’t have chosen KQ or even hearing literal horror ghost stories about how the building is apparently haunted.

they’re all something to laugh off though, even if the company can get annoying sometimes, you’ve found it the least bit tolerable with the friends you’ve made, such as your own group members and also xikers members since the both of you were quite close in age. aside from that, they also do their part in guiding you and your fellow trainees with your future idol life.

you’re able to count with your fingers the number of months left until your group is about to debut, a bit busy with sessions around the company building day and night.

like… today in particular.

the door to the recording room creaks as you push it open, greeting your vocal teacher by the corner along with a few familiar KQ producers.

you’re actually surprised that one of your ateez seniors, hongjoong, is actually here. since they’re often on some schedule, you didn’t expect him to show up at all. as you enter the recording booth, you made it a point in your head to ask him later about how it feels like promoting overseas, as it’s one of your goals to travel the world as an idol as well.

a conversation ensues with everyone in the room as you get your headphones ready, standing before the microphone. it was a bit intimidating to see everyone so serious at the corner of your eye, but your vocal teacher giving you a thumbs up managed to calm your nerves a bit, with hongjoong flashing you a smile too.

recording your parts for the songs went by in a whir, honestly feeling like you kinda blacked out the whole time with so many eyes on you. can’t say that you’re not nervous… but you were excited at the same time. as you left the recording booth, it felt like a huge weight on your shoulders lifted off, until it felt like something really rested on your shoulder.

you turned around and met a set of piercing eyes, but you’re startled state easily fizzled down when you realized it was just junghoon, and a smile tugging on the side of his lips.

“i watched you record your lines back there, i always knew you were great at singing right… but wow i never knew you were that good.” you were surprised to see half of the xikers members were actually around to witness you record your vocals for your debut song.

talk about embarrassing… like you wanna just dig a hole and hide there forever. especially when you remember that you messed up some parts when you were trying to warm up.

“stop it! i didn’t know you guys were actually watching, then i should’ve tried my hardest to keep my voice from cracking like earlier…”

your trance was quickly interrupted when he started singing your lines jokingly, even trying to copy some of your mannerisms as you were in the recording booth a while ago.

you bantered with him, releasing a low huff as you threatened to hit his shoulder if he didn’t stop the sing-song he was doing.

“speaking as your senior, i’m telling you that’s quite normal actually. so don't worry about it. really y/n, i mean it. now you’re probably gonna be off to dance practice after this one, so i got you this drink for later.”

“you love calling yourself our company seniors when we’re not really that far in age!” you try to hit junghoon on the shoulder, missing when he swiftly dodges the light attack.

you playfully whine, and he only erupts into a little fit of a giggle. “think i don’t know you well enough that you always try to playfully hit me? you’re so predictable y/n…”

junghoon doesn’t receive a reply, but his eyes bore a deep gaze on your features. he almost fell into his habitual activity of admiring you during conversations, but he snaps out of it real quick when you snatch the bottle of a drink right out of his grip.

your attention flickers toward hyunwoo when he suddenly yells among the simultaneous chitchats happening within the recording room.

“alright everyone! i feel like i’m actually in a really good mood today. so if anyone’s up for some fried chicken, it’s gonna be my treat. just head out with me,” and with that, everyone’s in a shuffle to scurry out of the recording room, the abrupt shut of the door making you realize you’re left alone with junghoon.

“you’re not in the mood for some fried chicken too? guess we might be meant to be huh.” you offer your hand in front of him, junghoon reciprocating to shake it in return. he’s honestly quite impressed with himself that he managed to keep composure this whole time, holding your hand in his while you tell him the both of you are meant to be?

of course, he knows it in him that you just mean it in a friendly type of way, but he can’t handle the way his heart beats fast at your words. especially when he’s been pining over you ever since he met you, biting his tongue but failing to keep the smile creeping up on his lips. oh kim junghoon you are so down bad for this person…

and since he's made it this far without slipping up on his little crush, he's sure he can contain yourself from blushing from a mere hand-holding (or hand-shaking) moment.

he only laughs it off as he lets your hand go, racking up his mind for any possible reply. really junghoon, a whole moment you had to take there from that simple interaction.

“now where were we?”

from how busy and tired you were with trainee life, you can’t even decipher anymore which day of the week is it. you just know that you have to be there on the dot for dance practice that stretches all throughout until the sun sets.

your legs were aching as you sat around in a circle with some of your fellow members along with seeun and hyunwoo.

your dance teacher had dismissed you a bit earlier today, but your group members decided to stay for a while to play the mafia game, and eventually settle in with a round of truth or dare. you honestly can’t remember when exactly the two xikers members joined you all, but you didn’t really mind as both of your groups were close already as time went by.

a bottle spins in the middle of the floor—the empty bottle of the drink junghoon likes to give you all the time.

speaking of junghoon, where is he though… you thought he and hyunwoo were inseparable, guess not. you were used to getting almost daily drinks from him that you wouldn’t feel a day would be complete if he didn’t hand you one.

“earth to y/n?” seeun snaps his fingers right at you, and you laugh it off when you realize you were probably staring into nothingness.

the bottle points to you.

one of your group members was about to make you choose between truth or dare, not until seeun interrupts with his laugh echoing so loud within the dance practice room. “ooooh… you were thinking of junghoon weren’t you? you were staring so hard at the bottle.”

hyunwoo suddenly lands a slap on the back of seeun’s head, making him yelp. “i didn’t know you were that smart to figure that out dude… this will probably be the last time i’m gonna be telling this to you but you were kinda a genius for realizing that.”

seeun only rolls his eyes, while hyunwoo scoots a little bit away from him, snickering. “was that meant to be a compliment or an insult?”

hyunwoo just sticks his tongue out at seeun, turning his head back to you. “actually, junghoon’s supposed to come with me today but minjae asked him for help around the dorm or something.”

“i didn’t even ask but okay…” you deny, eyes flickering towards the wall instead because they were damn right you were thinking about junghoon. question is, isn’t it completely normal to be thinking about him at that moment? that bottle really does remind him of you with how often he buys it for you. who are you defending yourself from anyway… not like you were gonna acknowledge seeun’s teasing from a while ago anymore.

“blah blah blah, enough of that nonsense now, you’re dragging the game out. so y/n… truth or dare?” you have to thank your member for bringing the mood back after those two were bugging you with their rascal-like attitudes.

“truth.”

and suddenly your members were squealing into oblivion?! what happened to them being on your side… now you’re a bit nervous about what they’re gonna ask you. at least there’s no chance they’re going to make you do some insane dare.

"we've been dying to ask you… is there something going on between you and junghoon?" your group members bring up, making you mentally face-palm yourself.

"not you guys too!"

you're crossing your arms in front of you, chewing the inside of your cheek to think of some excuse to not talk about this. but why do you not wanna talk about this anyway… you're just friends with him, right? and since you don't wanna be called a party pooper, you just answer them so they'll finally shut up about junghoon.

"well… we're just friends." it's kinda funny watching their shoulders heave down like a balloon getting deflated.

hyunwoo chimes in again, letting out some noise of a 'tsk.' before shaking his head.

"it just doesn't make sense to me why he's so different around you. the first time the other guys met him, they were all saying he was so intimidating and quiet to have around." seeun nods in agreement, listening.

"intimidating? if i'm gonna have to choose among the xikers members, he's probably the most approachable from all of you."

"junghoon and 'approachable' in a single sentence?! well, i'm quite close with him so i know he's not completely that scary but… it's the first time i'm hearing a first impression like that about him." hyunwoo leans back, seemingly starting to drown in deep thought just because he couldn't fathom this other personality of junghoon that he only chooses to show you.

"whatever. you're dragging the game out again with all your questions. here, i'll go spin the bottle to see who's next."

and as you swing the bottle in the middle of your huddled figures, you find yourself in a reverie of how junghoon actually treated you these past few months. the first time you stepped into the KQ building, you didn't know how you managed to get lost. thankful that you accidentally bumped into junghoon in one of the halls, and he offers to take you on a tour around just to show you the way.

from then on, you'd always come up to him whenever you had questions as a trainee, continuing to warm the friendship between you two. never once did he greet you with his supposed intimidating aura that everyone keeps talking about, though you do feel it a bit in his gaze sometimes. so you wonder if he's trying to seem like a welcoming senior to all of you newbies to the company, or if there's something more… just as everyone's trying to suggest.

whatever it is, it's bound to give you a headache on top of the trainee schedules you have to keep track of lately.

by the time you spent practicing the choreography for your debut song, you weren’t sure if you were on the verge of getting sick of hearing it even before you got to debut. but you push those thoughts at the back of your head as you focus on trying to get this particular move right, except you appear to be struggling…

“y/n, don’t you think we should take a little break before we practice this next part of the song? it’s almost lunch anyway.” one of your members collapses on the ground, sighing in exhaustion. you do give them a nod, but still not letting up and trying to rehearse the moves in front of the practice room mirror.

“this is supposed to be my center part, i’m trying to perfect it today though…”

your member only huffs another sigh before rolling over to face the other side of the room. by a minute you were already back in your element, dancing right from the start of your song until you get to your center part and messing it up once more, groaning in annoyance.

the practice room door creaks open along with hyunwoo’s voice echoing that he’s apparently gonna treat everyone to some fried chicken again, earning the attention of your fellow group members as they soon rush out to get lunch.

but you really can’t afford to waste time right now, after your dance teacher left you a reminder that he has to see you master your moves already by the time he gets back this afternoon.

and what do you know… you’re completely left alone with junghoon again.

“junghoon! haven’t seen you around recently… you don’t wanna get chicken with the rest of the guys?” you turn to face him, shaking his head as he approaches you.

“already ate lunch, and besides, i really wanna see how your debut preparations are going,” he utters, handing you another bottle that you immediately chugged down. you didn’t realize you were that parched from practice.

“well, that’s good. i’m kinda missing you a bit lately.”

and as junghoon felt your hand brush over his as he gave you the drink, he finds himself in another epiphany at your words.

you? his crush… missing him?

as he starts to ponder deeper he’s almost convincing his thoughts that you might’ve been saying that because you miss receiving the drinks and not really spending time with him. but he’s so sure you said you missed him. it’s probably another one of the things you innocently mean, and just because of his little crush on you, he’s blowing things out of proportion. yeah… that seems to be the case.

“hey, junghoon, are you okay?” he blinks back into reality when he sees you waving a hand in front of his face. “you sure you had lunch? you just spaced out a second ago. anyway, as i was saying, i think i need a little bit of your help for this one move i’m trying to execute.”

he wasn’t able to reply when you lifted your phone screen up to him, showing him the part of the choreography you were practicing.

he’s praying there’s not a hint of a blush spreading on his cheeks right now when you get closer.

“me? well… yeah i dance but i’m more of a vocalist or—” really junghoon… y/n’s asking you right now and you throw yourself under the bus by saying that. he mentally claps for himself, sarcastically.

“what? you know i’m starting to think you haven’t eaten lunch yet with the way you’re acting right now. i know you’re a really great performer, i’ve seen most of your fancams! don’t lie to me,” you playfully jab him on his shoulder, you’re really gonna be the death of him if you keep up with your antics. at this point, he’s impressed he hasn’t slipped up on how he feels for you yet.

but… did he hear you right again? “you watch my fancams?!”

“well yeah silly… i joke around with you a lot but i’m honestly speaking when i say you’re one of the people i look up to.”

oh y/n… you really have no idea how you’d possibly make him melt at your words. he’s too dazed to express a little gratitude at your compliment, so he steers the situation.

“how about we start practicing that move together right now? gotta make it quick so you have some time to get lunch afterward you know.” and he watches you nod at him like a puppy, facing the mirror to get yourself ready. though you’re looking at his figure in the mirror so you can follow his moves, at least he could tolerate it since you’re not directly looking at him.... and possibly make him evaporate from the face of the earth with how his heart is beating fast from your gaze.

once he got over all of his internal fuss, your practice session was actually starting to go smoothly, your entire mood cheering up as you finally managed to get most of the moves right, thanks to junghoon. you don’t notice yourself starting to steal glances from him every now and then, giggling a little bit more than usual when he makes jokes as he teaches you some parts of the choreography.

the atmosphere was light for the most part, even having forgotten how you were starting to crave lunch a while ago.

it was a medley of chuckles within the room, until you break the fit, breathing in relief and turning your head towards his direction.

“last move i have to get perfect, it’s this spinning part of the choreography. i’m actually having a bit of trouble with this ‘cause it’s hard to keep balance.”

he watches you scratch your head before bringing your phone up to him again, dragging your finger to find the timestamp of that one move in the choreography video.

“i can’t seem to find which part it is, but… i’ll just show you. it kinda goes like this,” he’s already looking at you before you glance back at him one last time, staring at your figure to execute the spinning move of the choreography.

but you were caught off guard when you suddenly misstepped, your foot hitting the forgotten bottle on the floor and losing balance.

it went pitch black as you closed your eyes as a reflex, preparing yourself for the impact of the floor that never came. that was until you came to your senses, opening your eyes that were staring right at junghoon’s, and you were then reminded of why exactly people call him intimidating. but though his gaze had a fierce tinge to it, his brows were contorted into a look of worry for you. his arms were around you to catch your figure, hands secure right on your waist with a gentle hold. junghoon sharply inhales, and thankfully you broke away from his grasp, or else his heart wouldn’t be able to handle the situation further.

you scoot away from him with a little bit of distance, not forgetting to mutter a low thank you before fanning your face and looking in the opposite direction. you almost wanna curse yourself with the way blood is starting to rush at your cheeks, trying to hide your flushed expression. it’s one thing to mess up in front of junghoon, but it’s another for him to… to catch you like that. and is it really that serious for your heart to be beating like crazy right now? you can’t manage to keep it under control. there’s no way you’re going to continue practice after what just happened.

junghoon broke the deafening silence, his voice still a gentle one. “do you wanna go grab lunch now? maybe the hunger is making you a bit dizzy.”

“yeah… i think you’re right. i’ll go head out first,”

it was a whir as junghoon watched you hurry out of the practice room, head hung low and still worried about the recent scenario. he’s starting to debate with himself on whether he should be following you out the door, but his legs were already giving him an answer as he struggles to budge from his position.

normally you’d be groaning and screaming through your pillow from how busy you were with debut preparations, but you’re thankful you weren’t able to face junghoon because of your hectic schedule approaching your debut.

it’s been a week since the incident happened, and honestly, it felt like hell whenever you were left alone with your thoughts, so you drowned yourself with practice. it got to a point where your manager’s begging you to loosen up a little bit, so here you are at your dorms, huddled up within the sheets.

for starters… you’re absolutely sure junghoon isn’t mad at you or anything. he’s very understanding with you and always teases that he knows all of your antics already, likewise as you know him very well… you’re very close with him right? as friends. but calling whatever is between you two as friendship hurls an inexplicable stomp on your chest that you hate.

and it’s gotten worse when you look back on your actions that one time. yeah he might not be mad at you but there’s this certain thought that keeps provoking you. from the combination of the way you kinda stormed out that time and ignored him throughout the whole week, it might seem like you were mad at him. it’s not totally like you never see him anymore, you still sense his presence from your peripheral vision when you stumble upon him at the company. but you weren’t making any moves to approach him at all.

“so did you finally realize you have a crush on him?” one of your members asks, earning your attention as you attempt to kick the mattress on the top bunk.

you thought that would be the last of it as you didn’t respond at all, tired of hearing your members playfully complain about your behavior lately. some chatter about how all they were talking about was how you seem so out of it lately, always staring into oblivion.

they’re not dumb… they know it’s probably because of junghoon because it’s weird that they never see the both of you together anymore. maybe it’s because you’re suffering from a severe case of being deprived of the drink junghoon always gives you that your group members almost attempted to buy you one, just so you'd cheer up.

“whatever. i’ll just wait this out until it all passes and i forget about it.”

“trust me when i say that’s the worst thing that could come out between two people pining for each other.” pining. was that really it? the spark of hope within you was starting to rekindle at the thought of junghoon possibly reciprocating your feelings. it’s just the uncertainty that’s causing all this unnecessary dilemma.

“know what? i think you watch too many movies that it’s rotten your brain and makes you say all that nonsense! and besides… shouldn’t you be dozing off now? our debut showcase is literally tomorrow.” you reply back, switching your lamp off so the room is pitch black.

“blah blah you talk too much. just don’t come running back to me when you guys finally confess to each other or something.”

your member was met with silence as you’d thrown the covers on yourself. there’s no point engaging in this conversation leading to nowhere.

but it in fact does not pass and get forgotten like you intended it to.

from getting your makeup done, walking up to the stage and greeting the fans, your mind was torn in between focusing on your debut and the urge to clear out everything with junghoon once and for all. you’ve had the past week to think about everything and all it has led to was that you have to communicate what you feel towards him. you’re not about to act like a child and wait for him to approach you instead. enough of that passive aggressiveness.

you snap out of it straight away when your debut song starts playing, finding your body moving along muscle memory. and for a while you let yourself get washed away by the feeling of finally making one of your dreams come through, a smile tugging on your lips as you hear the fans cheer as you perform. but everything else makes its way to trace back at him.

junghoon—it’s undeniable that he was a big part of your journey from the first step you took as a trainee until you found yourself doing what you love on stage.

from the blinding lights of the venue, you were able to catch a familiar glint of someone’s eyes you were longing to meet lately. it was junghoon among the crowd, locking your gaze with him as he watched you near the end of your performance. your eyes flicker toward the banner he’s holding, decorated with your name, along with hyunwoo cheering beside him. despite the facemask he has on, you always knew it was him after all this time you’ve spent studying his features when you’re together. trying to search for something more as you drown in his gaze.

as the camera points to your figure, you don’t realize you're already smiling, holding up a pose to finish your ending fairy for the performance. it warmed your heart to see your fans appear for your debut, but it was so much more when the person you wanted to see the most showed up for support.

but as you returned backstage, it was inevitable for the air to turn a bit cold, just like how you left him hanging this past week. you knew that he deserved an apology.

he’s approaching you with a bouquet in hand, a card among the flowers which had ‘congratulations on your debut’ written on it.

with how pretty the colors of the flowers were, it was how gloomy you started a conversation with him.

“junghoon. um, about lately. i wanted… to talk to you about stuff.” you began, failing to meet his eyes.

he takes a step closer, hands in his pockets as he hides the way he’s fidgeting. “me too, y/n.”

“i’m sure you’re probably mad at me for ignoring you these past few days i—you probably have a lot of things you wanna let out on me, so i’m saying that i’m ready to hear all of it. get mad at me, it’s alright. i’m probably not making any sense, am i?” it’s the second time you’ve met his gaze in a while, staring back up at him with a slight frown.

junghoon doesn’t like seeing that expression on you, flashing you a smile instead, his eyes softening as he pats your head.

“no, no… y/n i’m not mad at you at all. honestly, i think i should be the one apologizing for last time. i shouldn’t have touched you like that so abruptly—”

you interject, backing up with a step. “it’s not that, well… yeah it kind of is but, that’s not the main point. let’s forget about whatever happened back there, i understand that i was about to fall over and you just caught me.”

he hums as a response, waiting for you to continue your string of words.

“i feel like i have to clear it out why i’ve been avoiding you lately, and i just wanna get this off my chest already. but it’s... it’s a bit difficult to tell this to you in person.”

junghoon’s giving you that encouraging look, making you break eye contact and burying your gaze within the bouquet instead.

“i’ve got something to tell you too, y/n. i do sense you’re a bit nervous—and that’s completely alright. how about we say what we want to tell each other at the same time… does that ease your nerves a bit?” you're a bit comforted talking to junghoon the way you came to know him, letting your shoulders relax around his aura like he always does.

and you flash a small smile back, meeting his eyes. “yeah… yeah. i’d like that. i mean, you always know how to make me feel at ease anyway.”

and you await his count of three, staring down at your shoes before closing your eyes in anticipation.

3…

2…

1...

“i like you!”

and it hasn’t taken you long before you realize that your chorus of voices meant that he reciprocates your words, feeling a buzz spread throughout your whole being as you check his expression for anything out of the ordinary.

but he’s just as shocked as you, holding each other’s breath like a deer caught in the headlights. you can’t help but feel your fingers fidget, alone somewhere backstage and only hearing the crumple of the bouquet wrapping and the shuffle of junghoon’s shoes.

“since when?” you broke the silence, and he shuffled his bangs in an attempt to distract you from the blush rushing to his cheeks.

“ever since i met you, y/n.”

you part your lips, surprised. “oh… i’m a bit embarrassed it took me so long to realize that i do have feelings for you too. junghoon, i’m… i really do like you and i wanted to spend more days with you in the future…” you struggle to find the words a bit, but junghoon nods as he patiently listens.

“you have no idea how much it makes me happy hearing that from you. it’s probably a bit weird hearing this from me, but really… i mean it sincerely.” he feels like the heavy weight finally lifted off from his shoulders, expecting his confession to feel like a mess of emotions, but he’s surprisingly calm.

“no, no! not weird at all. i’m relieved the junghoon i knew is back…”

“let me show you how much i like you?” junghoon asks, your heart racing when he cups your cheek with his hand, the other taking the bouquet from you so he can inch closer to your finger. the both of you close your eyes, awaiting the moment you’ve been yearning for forever, tilting your head a bit as he comes closer, almost pressing your lips against his not until—

“hey junghoon! so you were here all along huh, you suddenly ran off after the performance. i was gonna remind you that you owe me for all the fried chicken i had to buy lately! the price is no joke, i hope you know that and oh—oh. i think i’m interrupting something…”

the both of you immediately pulled away from each other upon hearing hyunwoo’s voice through the halls, earning him a fierce glare from junghoon. you huff in return… how dare hyunwoo interrupt your kiss?! really he’s gonna get it soon, narrowing your brows at him before he scurries at runs away as fast as he can.

“hyunwoo... when i catch you!”

author's note: the lag was insane when i pasted the whole fic into Tumblr...

[sorryimananti-romantic]

you really got me thinking now about what i even like lmao. i'm really not very picky with tropes, tags, genres or shy of warnings, very much someone who will give everything a read at least once and see where i end up.

it's usually all thanks to the author's own way of writing, planning, detailing and imagination that has me continue reading their works - so it's really not me exaggerating when i tell you, you (and loren btw.) won't disappoint me since your writing gets better and better the more i read. <3

if i wanted to pitch some ideas to you, i might just have to dust off my own archive from when i used to write years ago lmao i'm sure i can find unfinished wips and mapped brainstorms somewhere neglected inbetween paragraphs lol but to maybe give a general idea or inspo so far..

my favorite ateez songs (you haven't written for yet) are: illusion, with u, to the beat, don't stop, halazia (outlaw, empty box)

my favorite yumi discography fics (currently at least) are: hala hala, dazzling light, horizon (duh), deja vu, be with you. guerilla, new world

genres/tags/tropes/aus i tend to be drawn towards: angst, slow burn, suggestive, corruption/manipulation/betrayal, hurt/trauma, comfort/fluff, mythology, thrillers, forbidden love, enemies to lovers, past life regression, paranormal/supernatural, like witchy/faerie/demonic elements just to name a few..

atz bias line: hongjoong🐿️ yunho🐶 wooyoung🦊 jongho🐻

damn.. after all there are things that i like and the more i write down the more strings connect, just gotta let it cook on low heat for now ig lol

○ chron 🃏

you're just like me then (most of the times when i want to read i dont even look at the wc/warnings and then sometimes i stumble upon sth traumatic (like a few things in smut that i don't like) and i'll be like ehh *continues to read it anyway pretending that part/scene didn't happen LOL*

honestly the two of us appreciate you so much AHAHA whenever you reblog one of our works and we read it we're like "hey did you see chron reblogged your fic" and then we're all :')) for a while AHAHAHA. i hope our writing never disappoints!

YOU USED TO WRITE HELLO? give me the key to the archives i need to see that right neowww LOL but okay of the songs that you like that i haven't written for yet, i have a few ideas for some of them [ateez come with new songs so quick i am convinced i can never write for all songs they have and that makes me SO SAD]

i'm honestly surprised dazzling light is a fav of yours (it's an old work and i personally think it's cringe as the writer LOL) but i see you have a thing for fantasy/royal-medieval i see the pattern hehe and you've got quite the taste chron i love that

i've honestly been wanting to cook up some fantasy bc it's been a while (says i who's written far too much fantasy) and i have one idea for san which i'm not really feeling yet (perhaps brain will be back to work after the break) and i have a really spicy flavourful fic for yunho planned whenever i feel like writing it but i'll try to think of more plots!

we can both let it cook, we have some time huehuehe and good things come to those who wait (pls i hope i get some good ideas after the break) but anyways if anything comes to mind or anything inspires you, lemme know! i'll see what i can do with it <33 and thank you for this <33

[beautifulpersonpeach]

It's cold and dreary and the tannies are gone,,, *cries in the corner* But the re-debuting (?) efforts for 2 cool 4 skool (I definitely didn't know how to spell this lol) is so heartwarming!! I just feel warm and fuzzy inside, you know?? Do you know if these fandom efforts are typical for kpop groups? I don't know what to expect for this ms era. I keep seeing articles and discussions that talk about who'll fill in the gap that's left by bts. It's not that I'm super worried (I know exactly where I stand), but I just don't know what will happen next as a whole. I quite enjoy the current army atmosphere. It makes me think that armys are the best when they are working towards a goal. Would you be able to share what are the things that ppl (who's never been through something like this) should keep in mind moving forward for the next 6month-1.5year? Thank you so much!

***

Yeah, re-charting old songs is something more than a few fandoms do from time to time, but ARMYs’ aim of re-charting several old songs, sometimes whole albums, at once and methodically - that’s something I don’t think has been done before. And yes it warms my heart to see the fandom give BTS this. Even though it’s more of symbolic gesture than ‘huge achievement’, it’s a tangible way the fandom can express that we intend to stick by BTS this entire time. Life might happen, we might explore other groups and hobbies or take some time to ourselves, but we’ll never really abandon BTS or forget them while they’re in service. It also allows the fandom the opportunity to re-experience BTS’s old music. It’s reminding me of why I fell in love with them in the beginning.

And you’re right. The fandom does need a goal to work towards. One of the first things I said on this blog that I remember people got mad at me for (lol), was that I think many ARMYs are just Type A k-pop stans who prioritize BTS. A lot of us do well with targets and performance measures, using information and ingenuity to achieve desired goals for someone we love genuinely gets us going. When the fandom is aimless people go crazy. So yeah, keep ARMYs busy and peace will be reasonably attainable.

It seems HYBE intends to keep milking the fandom too - more documentaries are coming, at least four members will release new music over the next 1.5 years, we might get a Jin tour/showcase or Hobi live performances, etc. So I guess we’ve got nothing to worry about on that front.

I’m not too sure myself what to expect between now and 2025. Last week I talked about what usually happens when a group enlists based on what I’ve observed:

1. Some people take a break away from k-pop fully.

2. Some explore other groups, whether or not they end up stanning as well.

3. Some people stay in k-pop and remain only committed to BTS

All three options are valid and sometimes there’s no real difference between how people approach options 2 and 3.

But really, while the guys are in the military I don’t expect the infighting within the fandom to reduce. At best it’s going to remain this annoying for the next 18 months. I know people are hopeful we get more spaced out releases but I’m actually expecting some stacked line-ups in releases next year. I’m also not expecting Seven/Golden-style promotions for any member that doesn’t release under HYBE America. The usual suspects (akgaes, shooters, antis, shippers) will be whining in any case so it’s going to be a pain.

And outside the fandom, I know the race is going to be mad. Right now ATEEZ, Stray Kids, NewJeans, RIIZE, Aespa, VCHA, Katseye, IVE, SHINee, Blackpink and few more… are revving up to take over in 2024. I’m so curious to see all the ways these groups/their companies will try to fill the BTS vacuum. How they will try to court ARMYs and pitch themselves as the rightful successors to BTS.

I’m not really sure what to expect but I know it’s going to be a fun time that’s for sure.

[berryunho]

Hi again, hun!

I saw you say you went to one of the recent Ateez concerts and I’m dragging my older sister (willingly) to go see them with me soon too! But she is not a fan of kpop. Not that she hates them but I just wonder if I can find a way to gently ease her into what she’s about to witness or if you have any recommendations on how to do that? Especially since you’ve already seen the set list? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable but I’m not sure who to ask and what to do to help make things easier for her to understand.

Anything helps tbh, so thanks for your time! ❣️

- 🖤🤍

omg hi! haha i love that your sister is going with you!! my DAD comes w me to most of the ateez concerts that i go to so i definitely understand the family dynamic LOL

but tbh i dont think there's really anything that would make her uncomfortable! i would probably give her a heads up about the guerrilla fanchant as it is notoriously very loud and probably would be confusing to someone that has never heard it lol i will also say that the concert is quite intense w very few short breaks so prepare your eardrums and have a bottle of water w you if possible hehe it also might be fun for the both of you if she could pick a bias for the night and you can cue her to cheer when he appears LOL i do that w my dad and he gets into it

as for like song preparation... they perform all of the unit songs from WILL so tbh I'd probably show her all of those music videos to get a good little taste of a variety of ateez music that she will hear !

hehe i hope that this helps !! and have so much fun !! <33

[odiesbun]

If requests are still open can I request how ateez would confess and how long it takes them to confess?? Thank you!

▒♡How Ateez would confess♡▒

There may be errors in the text, as my native language is not English. Thank you for your likes and your request!

WARNINGS: fluff, stupid humor of the author, love, confessions, and lots of cute snot.

Number of characters in the text: 4386.

Requested: Yes.

♡Hongjoong♡

•I think he's just like Jongho, he falls in love with a person gradually. He's like that person who'll say you're just a friend for a long time, but actually the next day will be head over heels in love with you. So about a month, if you have very frequent contact with him, I think.

•It takes quite a long time for him to confess, I think about another month or so. At first he will consult several times with the band members or his parents and only when they give the okay, then he will start working on a confession for you.

•Since Hongjoong is very creative, he will confess with a song.

♡Seonghwa♡

•Like Mingi, he realizes his crush all too quickly. But Seonghwa is probably the kind of person who will vehemently deny his crush, trying to chase away all-all thoughts of you.

•It takes a very long time for him to admit it. I'd say about half a year, but probably a little less, three months. Because he's really afraid of getting rejected, so he'll probably run to Hongjoon for advice, and when he agrees that you're both in love, Seonghwa will decide to confess after all.

• Seonghwa is very romantic about it, so he will probably ask you out or give you a bouquet of flowers that says "I want you to be my girlfriend. From Park Seonghwa."

♡Yunho♡

•At some point, he just thinks you're the one who has a crush on him and starts to distance himself from you, but at that point, the opposite reaction occurs in his head and he realizes that he's in love with you. Even when you just text him, asking him how his day was, his heart leaps out of his chest.

•It takes him an average amount of time, two weeks, to confess. He'll be afraid of ruining your friendship, which is why he procrastinates a little, but in the last week he just gets tired of agonizing and runs to you.

•Ready to confess anywhere and any way he wants, it's just important to him that you know that. Will probably come to your house or catch you on the street/workplace to say it.

♡Yeosang♡

•I think it takes the longest for Yeosang to fall in love with a person and admit it. At first he will deny his feelings, arguing that it's "just interest" in you, but he won't realize it until a few months later.

•And after that it is as if he will lose his head, all his thoughts will be occupied only with his crush. The boy will literally fall head over heels in love with you.

•It doesn't take him much time to admit it. It will take him about a week to talk about his feelings and how you might feel about him, and it will take him about the same amount of time to prepare for the confession. The bottom line is that it takes two weeks for a love confession from Yeosang.

•He confesses by text message or phone call because he's afraid to see your real reaction.

♡San♡

•I think it takes him a long time to come to terms with his crush. At first he just thinks you're a good friend, but at some point he realizes that he doesn't feel the same way about his friends. About six months, because for four months he'll think you're just a friend and another month he'll spend making sure he definitely likes you.

•San has no problem admitting it. If he wants it, he'll do it.

•Confess in person by inviting him out on some outing.

♡Mingi♡

•Someone who realizes his crush all too quickly. He almost fell in love with you at first sight, you know? No, I'm serious. He can fall in love in a day or two, either just by chatting with you alone for a few hours or getting some caring message from you.

•It takes him a little longer to admit it, about a month and a half. Initially he breaks down and tries to ignore his feelings, then he just doesn't have the right moment at hand, but he does confess.

•Confesses his love to you either in a text message or says it in jest.

♡Wooyoung♡

•Another person who falls in love at first sight. Just at one look at you, he realizes that you are his ideal. He likes everything about you - the look, the voice, the personality, the figure, the face. I mean literally.

•It doesn't take him long to admit it. If he really loves you to death and to a shiver in his knees, he will not delay with this and is ready to confess to you literally on the same night. But in fact, he will confess within the next week.

•Like Seonghwa, ask you out or give you a bouquet of flowers with a declaration of love.

♡Jongho♡

•Jongho is the kind of person who falls in love gradually, so he doesn't have any specific time for it. First you're a friend to him, then you pique his interest, then he starts thinking that you'd be good as his girlfriend, and then... Bam! And he realizes he's in love.

•He'll have no problem admitting it. So confess at any appropriate moment when he thinks you're ready to bear it, and he's ready to say it.

•Will invite you over to his place to confess. Will probably have a very mature conversation with you about it, asking if you can accept the offer to be his girlfriend.

[frosla55]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: @sternburgerpilsner thank you <3

Name(s): Tamsin

Pronouns: she/her

Star Sign: leo ♌

# of Siblings & Fun Facts About Them (if you have any): 1 younger brother,we live together,he's very creative,good at drawing and arts & crafts

# of Pets: I have a family cat who i've had since I was a teenager,I only see her a few times a year when I visit my parents but I love her,she's an old feisty tortoise shell that has the energy of a kitten

Fandoms: I have lots but my main one is stray kids (big surprise)

Favourite Colour: dark red,forest green,black

Favourite Song: I think it's quite impossible to have 1 favourite song so some of my favs atm are : skz - want so bad,skz - muddy water,ateez - it's you,aespa - drama,taemin - she loves me,she loves me not

Favorite Author: i don't really read much nowadays,last book i finished was fire & blood by george r. r. martin & i used to read a lot of haruki murakami & sylvia plath,i really need to pick up reading again at some point

Hobbies: cooking,listening to music,traveling,acting

Favourite Holiday: halloween! 👻

Do You Have Any Partner(s)?: no

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: i'm an actor & have been in a short film as well as an extra in a few big projects! i prefer cold weather,i love animals & my favourite thing to eat is sushi with sriracha mayo

I will tag @inloif @nanamikentoseyebags @written-in-flowers @acuzena @petxina @clown-baby