#memories can be painful
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Chapter 3 of Living in B Minor is out!
Come dive into this fic about Shinsou Hitoshi trying to rekindle his connection with Monoma Neito in the face of an unnamed tragedy.
In this chapter, Shinsou gets approval to pursue a new avenue in his project and goes to his first day as a volunteer at the music academy. He finds he's more welcome there than he thought and one has to wonder if this is where he was meant to be all along.
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#my hero academia fic#bnha fanfiction#ao3#shinsou hitoshi#monoma neito#shinmono#monoshin#Living in B Minor#speaking through music#hidden tragedy#memories can be painful
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown”
#i rlly love what cait says about hextech since it rlly just foreshadowed the entire season#you can really see how much cait tries to steel herself and not let her emotions#turn into unhinged anger towards the zaunites until the memorial thing that ambessa orchestrated#everyone wants complex female characters yet they cant even handle cait lmao#she keeps trying to remind herself of vi especially and im UGHHHHHHHH pain#caitlyn kiramman they could never make me hate you#oh ALSO!!! I wish we had more silly siblings moments :C#arcane#arcaneedit#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#caitlyn#jayce#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane netflix#netflix arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#league of legends#caitlyn and jayce#jayce and caitlyn#type: gif#media: arcane#s2 ep1
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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Historia Viventem
#ruthari fanart#ruthari#tdp runaan#tdp ethari#tdp fanart#tdp#tdp s7#tdp s7 spoilers#the dragon prince season 7 spoilers#the dragon prince season 7#the dragon prince#do you ever think about how Ethari lives in a house full of memories and how he can cast a spell to replay them in painful detail#cause I do#and I think it makes his beloved phantom line even more painful#headcanon#continue the saga#continuethesaga#greenlightarc3#giveusthesaga
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I accept dying. But I was here. I was real, and I mattered! And I will not be forgotten! Killjoys (2015-2019)
#dead boy detectives#dbdedit#deadboydetectivesedit#edwin payne#charles rowland#niko sasaki#crystal palace#gifs and stuff#hello i bring pain#fun fact: i chose that part of the quote for crystal because of the memory thing#and also because she's the one who can make sure the other three won't be forgotten
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"Huh."
#as with every game with some human mind stuffed into a machine i need to ask if he still has human instinct left in there somewhere#also i don't really think ordan would eat elegantly like some royalties anyways#you know the more i read about ordis the more i like him#i mean i never thought his talking is annoying like some people do apparently#but after going through the cephalon fragment thingy my thoughts about him-#-turned from “ominously happy” to “murderous but also kinda cute happy”#and you'd think it should be the other way around#hey if he has erased his memory a lot of times and probably has gone through the same reasoning-#-every time he chooses memory erasure rather than self destruction because he would probably also remember the previous attempts#will he someday choose the other option instead because of all the pain he endured?#(hopefully not i actually like him it's not destiny 2 i hope DE don't just yeet characters off their game that frequently)#also i like how he can take up some ordan karris knowledge by treating it as some stories / facts about others but not about himself#neat but he probably would have to erase his memories more often because it's still about ordan karris i guess#warframe#warframe operator#warframe ordis#ordis#my art
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Reuniting with a distorted past.
Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)
wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay
Panel 1: Was buried alive.
Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?
new friends
Comic 2: Misguided protection.
obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster
Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)
obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#obito uchiha#naruto sukea#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#hope i can add something new and if not may i shall add fuel to the fire for rin!! :)#So Rin loses ALL of her memories forever (kinda)#the only thing that remains for sure is the feeling of missing something that she'll never reach it again#she's alone and is left to roam directionless until she meets an elderly civilian that is also alone#she stays with her for a year+ but she passes away. But Rin with her new identity decides to walk forward (with love comes pain#but to love at all was the greatest thing to her.) She cherishes her new memories and won't let it stop her from moving on#inbetween this time frame she meets isobu in her mind after he gains enough form within her (who is also without memories)#Now WAY LATER she meets Sukea who looks like he's about to panic and she tries to help (which uh doesnt work too well)#but then Sukea joins her on her travels (sending minato an letter through his summons of rin being alive and forgetting the mission)#they both wander around (he doesnt know how to bring up their past) but then obito appears (always at the wrong times)#At first glance he's pissed but then realizes that this isnt fake AND its both the worse thing yet best thing to ever happen#Now Rin thinks she made two new friends who give her feelings of warmth but they both also reminded her of something old she thinks#PS Minato and Kushina are freaking out back in the village but can't do anything about it (Obito hasn't acted on his plans yet so yes)
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meet gamma! he's a palm-sized green korbat plushie (from neopets), designed, patterned, and sewn by me.
#plushblr#safeplush#neotag#neopets#korbat#fun fact: gamma was made because i had a dream about a tiny korbat plushie like this#i took a few creative liberties to fill in gaps in my memory (my visual imagination is fuzzy at best)#but i tried to stay as true to the dream as possible#i don't plan on making more of these (the tail and wings were a pain) but i can share the pattern if anyone else wants to make one!#plush: gamma#sewn by me
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The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userveronika#userteri#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor x clara#twelveclara#*#I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS.#ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO.#I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE.#anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like#she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too ->#he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal ->#look how far i went for fear of losing you#ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that
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it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...
#watch this right after the ephemeral ones to die instantly. i assume. i haven't tried it#i feel like so many of the emotional beats that destroy me in this story come down to impermanence#accepting loss and change. finding the beauty in transience. treating every encounter as something precious‚ knowing it's ephemeral#and this chapter is about...also accepting renewal? allowing oneself to think about the possibility of love lasting#allowing oneself to put down roots. nurturing what is there. building foundations. doing it for and with people#god you know what else you shouldn't watch this after if you don't want to keel over dead probably. the childhood home arc#natsume can now think of the memory of sitting with his father looking at his mother's garden#and associate it with warmth instead of pain. because he's no longer afraid of losing it. because of the trust he has built#because he knows he can build something. the people here have made it safe for him and he has and he is and he will#i am crying so hard i should be collecting my tears for water reclamation purposes#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu meta#my posts#f
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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i'd love to dry my tears as pain disappears.
#silent hill 3#heather mason#alessa gillespie#memory of alessa#silent hill#the ... (coughing up blood) the silent hill yuri guys... !SELF LOVE#i look back on a lot of my older silent hill art both posted and unposted#its not pretty. But at least i know there always been such an overwhelming love in me for silent hill's story for these two#both together as they were and separated. The pain in my heart is indescribable for these type of girls. Will always remember them xoxo#all i want in the end is for them is that if they cant find peace and kindness they can at least find some of it in eachother.#I want heather to have a good life for alessa. coughs up blood. Couguhs up blood
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SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson
#inspiration for creating gifs was the wonderful @meandhisjohn#twelve years have passed and this episode is still vivid in my memory as if I watched it yesterday#It’s unbelievable how much pain a person can endure and this episode is a testament to that#the moment john a fierce defender stands ready to strike down any who dare speak ill of sherlock is pure brilliance#the moment they run in handcuffs is beautiful#truly two against the world#and it’s so sweet how john takes up all the space on the couch completely comfortable while sherlock sits patiently beside him#when sherlock saying goodbye to john forever is seared into my soul#It’s a moment that never leaves me a reminder of the depth of their connection and the pain of their separation#martin’s performance in that call is a masterclass in conveying raw emotion#the pain in his eyes speaks volumes a symphony of anguish that lingers long after the call ends#It’s a moment that deserves to be immortalized a testament to the power of his artistry#and the last thing I’ll say is#john’s soul is that of a soldier forged in fire and tempered by hardship yet always clinging to hope#martin freeman#benedict cumberbatch#bbc sherlock#sherlock#john watson#sherlock bbc#mf/serial
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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i can’t casually watch the first night nurse “IM A DEAD BOY DETECTIIIVE” scene (still have it memorised somehow tho) because it makes me so sad, and one of the main reasons is edwin’s reaction.
we see throughout the show that edwin’s fear response is freeze. he can’t snap into action, he just freezes. that’s why charles has to always be like “motherfucker move?? fuckin run??” and eventually just shoves him because he won’t do it otherwise. as much as i joke about him being a passenger princess and having the vibe of “i simply refuse to lift a finger to defend myself, i will stand here and look pretty”, it is fully a fear response.
so after saying charles’s name in the most heartbreaking terrified way possible, he just starts moving. he doesn’t even think about it—it’s automatic. it’s the most natural, instinctual thing in the world for him. where charles goes, he follows. ESPECIALLY when things seem like they’re going to go horribly, because he will under no circumstances let charles get into trouble alone. like HE IS FOLLOWING THE PERSON WITH THE POWER TO SEND HIM BACK TO HELL JUST BECAUSE HE CANT BE WITHOUT CHARLES I AM SO FUCKIGN UPSET RIGHT NOW DO YOY UNDERSTAND
#PAYNELAND WASNT LYING THAT PAIN CAN LAND UGHHHHHHH#NOW YOU ALL HAVE YO THINK ABOUT THIS TOO FUCK YOU#payneland paineland painland paynland#i hate gay#charles rowland#edwin payne#edwin paine#it’s his name for a reason#:((((((#THOSE MEMORIES ARE NOT WHY I CHOOSE TO STAY HERE#I STILL HAVE A PURPOSE#IM A DEAD BOY DETECTIIIIIIVE if you even care#that gets me so pumped up i just have to immediately stop watching I CANT WATCH CHARLES CRY#i hate them i hate that this was all i could think while finishing my essay#the night nurse#ruth connell#george rexstrew#jayden revri#chedwin#yeet my deet#yeet my deebd#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#dbd4ratch#dbdshow#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#described
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anyways when richard siken said "if you can point to it, you don't need a word for it. you only need a word for it when it's no longer there"
and when tolkien said "but of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while still they endure for eyes to see, are their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song."
and when claudia said "diaries are friends of last resort"
we don't see madeleine and claudia in their months together because their happiness was created in the present and presence of each other, and captured only in the eyes of the other. there's no need to share to strangers what was already shared between the people it mattered most to. the voyeurs of the world will only ever see the outline of where pleasure lies.
#it is SO <- guy who's tearing down the curtains and clawing at the wallpaper#memory is a monster because with each iteration the jubilation of life succumbs to time and distance#you forget because in the moment you were too busy experiencing it to write it down#and when the archive of memory fades you only have the written proof to mark times past. and those are words of loss and pain#the circuitous nature of regret demands that the more you look to the past the greater the tragedy and the duller the joy will be#and the more you try to find meaning in that pain the more you will sift through its ashes and find another ache or grief to greet you#happiness can only be found by carving it out of the future and holding it in the present#and vampires are damned to remain trying to reclaim the past#argh.#iwtv
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