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duskoon · 6 months ago

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Yandere!Toru x Reader (General Headcanon):

A/n: It ain't a request, but oh god I simp for this man so hard. He is my personal favorite Jojo villain so far, closely followed by Pucci then Valentine. It's shame he is overhated and underrated, so I'll give him the love that he deserves. Rejoice Toru lovers, I got your backs. Also, Jojolion is severely underrated and deserve some love. First Jojo post, let’s go.

Tw: Afab!reader, Jojolion Spoilers, Canon Divergence, Yandere themes, Obsessive/Possessive behaviours, Toxic relationship (Somewhat of a parasitic relationship), Co-dependancy, Stalking (Classic Toru behavior right here), Abandonment issues, Implied murder, Manipulation, Creepy undertones, Age difference (Reader is 25+ and Toru is canonically 87+, rock humans can live up to 120 and age very slowly in comparison to carbon-based humans), Interspecies relationship, Abuse of Authority, Medical malpractice (illegal usage of sedatives), WoU.

Note: Text = “Purple” = Wonder of U speaking.

╭──────༺♡༻──────╮ [Now playing: The Scientist] 𝟙:𝟘𝟙 ─────|───── 𝟝:𝟙𝟘 ↻ ◁ 𝕀𝕀 ▷ ↺ 𝕍𝕠𝕝𝕦𝕞𝕖: ■■■■■□□□ ╰──────༺♡༻──────╯

❦ “Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions..” The lyrics were blaring loudly through his earbuds, as Toru hummed along with it. In the reverie he was engrossed in, he accidentally collided onto someone. Consequently, dropping his phone in the process.

❦ Before the phone could clash with the ground and break, however, a gentle hand took hold of it and rose up to pass the device to him.

❦ “My apologies, sir. I was in a bit of hurry, you see. Please... Find it in your heart to forgive me.”

❦ Soft, yet a kind slant in the stranger’s voice snapped him from his previous stupor. As his mauvish-crimson irises wandered to meet her (e/c) ones before taking his earbuds off.

❦ “A-Ah. You don't need to apologize, miss. If anything, it's me who should apologize. I must thank you for your trouble, though.”

❦ Toru spoke with an alluring tilt in his tone, almost too charming if it weren't for the hollow eyes of his. He was the master of both guises and words. Like a jester that wore multiple masks to appease his audience.

❦ He had lived amongst organic humans for so long. Observing and adapting to their behaviors accordingly. Integrating in, yet never fully becoming one of them.

❦ He could truly never become fully human, Toru was painfully aware of that, even if he wished to be one. It's pointless to pursue such unattainable endeavour, especially if it goes against his inherent nature.

❦ The only way for him, as he thoroughly believes, to be as close to one is by accomplishing something grand. That way he’ll leave his mark permanently. That way he won't be forgotten, nor will his existence amount to nothing.

❦ Looking at the lady, he could see her wearing a navy blue medical scrub and a familiar lab coat. Is she a doctor in TG University Hospital? If so, how come he wasn't notified? He knew everyone there, aside from her. Perhaps a new hire? His curiosity has been piqued.

❦ “How intriguing…” The dark haired man thought to himself, as he shoved both his phone and earbuds into his yellow pant’s pockets. Toru chose to follow behind her. Not too far that he loses her out of his peripheral sight, but not near enough that it alarms her of his presence.

❦ In his eyes, it wasn't stalking at all but rather an observation to be made. After all for the majority of his long isolated life, he has been detached due to his “unique” circumstances.

❦ There’s something that allured him to her, was it perhaps the working of her stand? Was it fate itself? He wants to—no, must know. Yusaho was a means to an end for him, albeit you—for some odd reason—had managed to tug at his rocky heart.

~~~

❦ Due to his nature as a Rock Human… I personally believe Toru would take a long time, before he even realises his affections toward his darling is genuine and not born out of ulterior motives. Unlike, what had transpired between him and Yasuho in the past.

❦ Maybe it was your indiscriminate kindness that had enticed his voracious attention, especially since it was out of good heart, just like how a Venus flytrap secretes a sweet nectar to ensnare an unknowing prey into it’s grasp.

❦ Or by some sheer luck, he had somehow managed to flee the Higashikata’s before they could finish him off. His life was on a single thread ready to fall at any moment, if it weren't for your intervention.

❦ Perhaps you were a miracle worker of some sort that could cure the rock disease; That he had sustained from the equivalent exchange with the Higashikata’s youngest child, or you have a stand that could heal it? It doesn't matter the reason, he doesn't understand why… But he feels indebted to you.

❦ “Urgh.. Hah.. Thank you.. Thank you for saving me..” Toru muttered weakly, looking deeply into your beautiful eyes as you carefully stitched his wounds close to prevent external bleeding. It was beautiful to him. Just like the sheen of rainbow after a long storm. The eyes of his saviour. If you weren't, then one of Wonder of U endless calamities would have already stroke you.

❦ “Shhhh.. Rest your mind, I'll take care of you.. Don't stress yourself. By heavens… what… to… you?” You replied back softly, carrying the injured oddly dressed stranger to your home. Your mellifluous voice—in spite of cutting off—soothed his fears, as he closed his eyes. No longer dreading what Toru thought was his near death, because the dark haired man knows he’ll come back just fine. Your words and actions remained etched into his mind.

❦ One thing for sure… Once Toru comes into terms with his feelings, things will roll so fast and unbeknownst to you. You’ll suddenly feel scrutinizing eyes following you everywhere—whether be it his own (most likely), one of his cohorts, or even his own stand under a guise of a close relative—most likely an older man—of your own. It's not like he had a hand in said relative’s death who may or may not figured what he is up to, it was merely an… accident.

❦ Toru is extremely obsessive, as he is attentive to his darling’s habits and needs and personal preferences to a tee. From knowing ordinary things like their favorite genre of music, videogames, flowers, to their favorite food, and all the way to their medical records (Ex: If his darling’s family—by extension his darling— had a record of a hereditary diseases he’d know, to monitoring their menstrual cycle, his darling’s exact blood pressure and whatnot, and etc..) and other personal information.

❦ Whatever information regarding his darling he will covet it like a greedy dragon that preserve it’s treasures, whether through his status as a head doctor in the hospital or/and as the leader of Locacaca Organization. No one would ever suspect him of doing that, and if they do… Well.. It's a shame that they’ll met a misfortune end, eh?

❦ “Don't worry, sunflower. I will protect you, provide for you, and alleviate any kind pain you have. What kind of lover would I be, if I can't do all of that? There is absolutely nothing that I won't do to guarantee your safety and happiness except if it meant you're going to abandon/replace me. You're my first priority!”

❦ Paired with his obsessiveness, is his manipulative and sly nature. Don't let his playful and laid-back nature fool you. What lurks under his unassuming mask, is a dark and selfish urge to obtain you all for himself. Cut you off from the greedy world, only for his eyes to relish and keep.

❦ With his forbidden knowledge of his darling intricacies and inner secrets, the rock human will emulate whatever you like and would condemn what you hate. However, he is smart enough to share something of his own interests lest you suspect him.

❦ “Toru-san, It’s nice to see you again here! But, why are you here? Aren't you busy at the moment?” You asked; Voice soft, sweet, and innocent unaware of the “young” doctor’s true intentions. You were about to leave your office to head back to your home, but Toru’s sudden appearance has halted you. It's quite surprising that he precisely knew where you had worked, let alone the exact time your shift ended. Must be a coincidence, or is it?

❦ Your ardor and charity was one of a kind. Toru couldn't help but yearn for it, yet he only desires it for him and himself only. It irritates him when you share it with others, but he hides such distaste beneath a veneer of charisma.

❦ After all, he doesn't want you to be scared of him. He wants you to come to him out of your own will, and vie for him like he does to you. He is a patient man, after all. Whatever competitor/s he has for your heart are already taken care off with utter apathy toward their untimely demise.

❦ “I just finished my shift, sunflower.. I came here to ask you.. If you would like to accompany me to the theatre? I heard they'll be playing some of Tchaikovsky works, and I thought about inviting you along since you're a big fan of his works…” The young man offered, seeing your eye light up in excitement and brought a smile onto his unblemished face.

❦ “Really?!” You exclaimed elated, before deflating as you remember your current situation.

❦ “I uh.. really want to, but I… can't go.. Well.. I have a low budget at the moment… hahaha..” You continued shyly, yet that didn't stop the charming man from pointing his pointer finger ontop of your delicate lips almost to shush you in a teasing manner.

❦ “Don’t worry, If money is your concern… Then I can just cover for you! A diligent employee like you deserve a break from work. After all, stress is the greatest killer. Let me relieve some of your burden!” Toru muttered offering his right hand for you to take, while his left pointer finger is still caressing your lips.

❦ “Bu—” Before you could argue back, the dark haired man interrupted you with a playful smirk. “It is no trouble at all, sunflower.. You do not need to repay me with anything. Your presence is more than enough for me.”

❦ He is very lucid about his unhealthy obsession. Instead of rejecting it, however, he wholeheartedly accepts it. Due to his nature, he sees it as normal. Wouldn't you like to be pampered and loved like a pet?

❦ Toru is affectionate, and a tad bit physically clingy. Nothing too alarming at hindsight. Do you blame him? He had been so alone for so long without any connections, and whoever came after him succumbs to his stand’s lethal ability spurring his loneliness even further.

❦ All except you for some reason. Was it your stand that is protecting you? It doesn’t matter. He had a taste of you, and he won’t let you go. Toru refuses to go back to the agonizingly meaningless existence that he had before meeting you.

❦ What triggers him so quickly is the idea of his darling forgetting, rejecting or/and replacing him. It is his primal fear above anything else. You are the only person, who made him think of someone else besides himself.

❦ It’s enough he was rejected once due to his youthful appearance, he won't let that happen again especially with you. He had already latched onto you.

❦ “Ahahah.. Sunflower.. Please don't leave me.. I'll be good.. I'll be what you want me to be.. Just please, I beg you, don't leave me.” Toru dropped on his knees, with his two hands clutching yours tightly in a desperate manner.

❦ To an untrained eyes, you might be in the wrong for breaking this poor man’s heart. Yet, you knew better than anyone how dangerous this man was. How his obsession run deeper than still water. Or in this case, endless stream of blood and death.

❦ If only you knew back then, saving him would lead him to slaughter anyone who came close to you. All in the name of protecting and loving you.. How delusional.. Love begets altruism, not selfishness. Though, you doubt he could comprehend that.. Left completely in the dark about his inhuman nature.

❦ You’d have let him to crumble like dust, but it was far too late for that now. As he brought your hands, to where his heart supposed to be.

❦ It is often said that human response to danger was flight or fight, yet there was a third option that is often forgotten about. Freeze.

❦ Taking advantage of his beloved’s shock, he swiftly administered a sedative into her body. Slowly watching her body fall limp. Before your head could reach the concrete, he held you close to his chest.

❦ “Tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are…” The rock human muttered softly, carrying your unconscious body to his “home” that he had bought for you. Away from civilization, just the two of you living together forevermore. The notion that you're dependant on him for everything, puts a smile on his face. He wants to be your world, just like you are to him.

❦ Escaping him is pointless, since the rock human has his connections everywhere. That, and his obsession for you had gone so far, that even his stand has inhibited some of it.

❦ Whenever Toru goes in his habitual sleep cycle like most rock humans do, Wonder of U most likely is keeping watch over you. It's very apparent since disasters and freak accidents follow you like a moth to a flame. It may not harm you directly, but the guilt that eats your mind for being the indirect cause of the bystander’s death will prevent you from trying again.

❦ “I must commend you! Not only were you clever to discover a way through my abilites, yet found a way to run away from my user. However, it's no use fleeing from us… You will only bring calamities to innocent bystanders… You do not wish for that, would you? The moment our eyes laid on you, human, it was preordained for us to be one. It would be best for you to make amends with your fate.”

#duskoon.speaks #yandere x reader #yandere jjba x reader #yandere #yandere jjba #yandere toru x reader #yandere toru #tw: yandere #Tw: Co-dependancy #tw: implied murder #tw: toxic relationships #tw: stalking #tw: manipulation #tw: age difference #tw: interspecies relationship #tw: abuse of authority #tw: medical malpractice #tw: drugging

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killersfool · 2 months ago

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Medicine | RYAN MCMAHON

PAIRING: ryan mcmahon x original f!character

GENRE: romantic tension

SUMMARY: ryan - after the collapse of 'inhaler' and first year at TCD - is entering his second year of med school and meets a strange fresher who he desperately wants to get to know

WORDS: 5.5k

WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol use, smoking

Trinity college Dublin was not at all how Ryan expected. The first week's workload was like a punch in the stomach compared to his work last year. First year had been a nightmare, truly, but second year was on a whole other level. He had this sneaking feeling that the medicine course would go easy on him, that immunology and histology were a thing of the past. But as his eyes fixated on his timetable for the week, eyebags sunken and mouth dry as he pressed his back against the wall in the library, he couldn't help but suck in an anxious breath.

Josh had messaged him a few hours ago, seemingly in a similar state of confusion — well you couldn't be too confused, they had both signed up for the course with the most contact hours per week and a workload that could leave you in tears.

A slight jealousy was the first pang in his chest at the sight of all the fresher's, naïve and blissfully unaware of all the hell that was soon to ensue. He looked out of the library window to see the influx of students. He could easily spot the medics. Huddled around the Med society pitcher, they weren't too hard to find. Each with their new stethoscopes and shiny shoes, all signing down their names for new societies, he banged his head against the window, part of him wanted it to shatter, to cause a scene, but he valued this future too highly. Being a doctor was all he wanted. After the failure that his band endured, he wanted to prove himself to everyone. He wanted his parents to be proud of him. Now, he had the chance. He needed to get on with his work and think about the final outcome. He needed to stop chewing on the past and focusing intently on the present. Second year anatomy would surely kill him but he knew he had to prod on, or he'd be wishing in a few weeks time that it hadn't piled up.

He had an essay due for Monday. He looked at the word document. Fifty words out of one thousand. It was Sunday evening. Maybe today called for an all nighter.

So he left the library with one thing on his mind. Find some caffeine, find a quiet space and get this essay done in as little time as possible.

He made his way through Dublin, his final destination was a corner shop which was quite the dump. The lightbulb had almost fallen of the hinges and was illuminating the room with flickers of a mellow light. He shifted through the group of teenagers looking at sweets and glancing over at the Vodka, probably resisting the urge to leap over the counter and run with it. Ryan's hand gripped the cool fridge door and he looked at himself in the glass. Pallid and tired. Corpse-like. He brushed away the insecurity that washed through him and grabbed two cans of red bull.

A sideways glance led him to look at a girl who was grabbing a few packs of cereal. She was wearing a 'Biosoc' hoodie (Trinity's medical society's merch) and oversized jeans that pooled over her Doc Martens. Typical fresher, Ryan grinned, thinking back to his first year self.

She was trying to decide between Cheerios and Coco Pops.

"I'd go for the Coco Pops." Ryan pointed at the bright yellow packaging, closing the fridge as he turned to face her. His eyes were still pressed upon her braided hair. "They'll stop you from wanting to kill yourself when you're cramming at 3am."

The girl froze, then slowly turned to face him, her eyes wide and startled. She hesitated, frowning slightly as she looked him up and down, clearly unsure whether to laugh or be concerned. "Is it really that bad?"

Ryan chuckled, though there was no humor in it. "Worse. They'll chew you up and spit you out. But hey, at least you'll look good doing it with your shiny stethoscope." He gestured lazily toward her hoodie, his gaze sharp and jaded.

The girl bit her lip, glancing back at the cereal shelf, then at Ryan. She put the Cheerios back, choosing the Coco Pops as if his off-hand comment had made the decision for her. "I guess I'll take your word for it."

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "You'll be wishing you hadn't soon enough."

Her hand froze on the cereal box, and for a moment, she seemed to waver. But then something shifted in her expression. "Maybe. But at least I'm doing something that matters."

That struck a chord. His sarcastic smile faltered for a split second, but he quickly masked it, letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You'll need the delusion to get through first year. And second year. And basically the whole course."

The girl didn't respond immediately, her gaze flickering over his face as if trying to read him. "Why are you still here then? If it's so miserable."

Ryan felt his jaw clench. He wasn't in the mood for a heart-to-heart with a stranger in a dingy corner shop, but something in her tone got under his skin. "Because I don't quit," he said sharply, almost snapping. The tiredness was taking its toll. He instantly regretted how rude he sounded and looked to the side then back at her.

She held his gaze for a moment, something unreadable passing between them. Then she shrugged, breaking the tension. "Well, I guess I'll see you in the library at 3 a.m. then."

Ryan watched her turn and walk toward the counter, the cereal box tucked under her arm. He didn't reply, just stood there, feeling a strange mix of frustration and... something else.

With a sigh, he grabbed his Red Bulls and followed her to the register. As he paid, he caught her glancing back at him, almost as if she wanted to say something more. But she didn't. Instead, she gave him a slight nod, grabbed her change, and disappeared into the night.

Ryan stood there for a moment longer, the weight of everything settling back onto his shoulders.

He had an essay to finish. But all he could think about was her question.

Why are you still here?

Ryan made his way back to the library, the girl's question still circling his mind. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about quitting before. There were nights where he'd lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if this was really worth it. Whether the hours of sleep lost going through ankis and doing questions were worth it. But each time, a voice in his head pushed him forward. He had to finish. He had to prove himself.

The library was a graveryeard now, the once-bustling late-night crowd reduced to a few souls hunched over their laptops, murmurs blending into the hum of fluorescent lights. Outside, the rain whispered against the windows, soft but steady, like the ticking of a clock winding down. Twenty-four hour libraries were a god send. Especially for the frazzled med students who were in here at least once a week. Ryan would probably win the award for most all nighters done throughout first year. He was pulling them almost every day during exam season. He hated to admit it but he was one of those people who worried too much about the possibilities of failure. He'd already failed once with his band. He didn't want to fail all over again. Especially after working so hard to even get into univeristy. Ryan found a corner, tucked away from conversations, set his Red Bulls on the desk, and opened his laptop. The blank screen stared back at him, mocking his lack of progress.

Fifty words out of a thousand.

He cracked open the first can, but instead of typing, his mind wandered back to the girl. Biosoc hoodie, Coco Pops, and that slight challenge in her voice when she asked why he was still here. There was something different about her, something that lingered even after she'd left. He wasn't usually one to think about girls. He kept telling himself he didn't have time for friendships and that falling in love would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. So he kept to himself most of the time. His only close friend was Josh who was quite the party animal. He was living life on the edge, in full sense of the phrase. He worked hard but he also balanced this with his love for clubbing. Ryan lived in a flat with Josh, another guy called Callum and Josh's girlfriend, Laura, who didn't actually pay rent but was always there.

Ryan wasn't in any societies other than the medicine one. Josh had told him countless times that he should join in some kind of band or orchestra to give him a way to destress. Ryan had told him that the drum kit in his room was enough. Once he'd finished his work for the day, he would either go for a long run through the park with his headphones on, Joy Division humming through his ears or would crash his drumsticks against the electric drumset in the corner of his room. This was enough to calm him down. But he did miss the feeling of making music with other people. He missed Elijah and Bobby a lot. Elijah was still at home trying to figure out what to do with himself. Ryan would visit him every now and then in Blackrock. It wasn't like how it was two years ago. It was quite sad. Bobby was all over the place, taking a trip across the world. It was hard to speak to him. It was rare for him to answer a phone call as timezones always made things difficult.

Another hour dragged by with little progress. Ryan's head was pounding, and the caffeine wasn't helping. It was making him feel ill. He needed air. He grabbed his jacket, shoved his laptop inro his bag, and headed outside, hoping a walk would clear his mind.

The cold night hit him as soon as he stepped out of the library. Luckily the rain had stopped now. Dublin was quiet, only the occasional taxi passing by, but as he turned the corner toward the river, he spotted someone sitting on a bench near the water. Familiar figure. Oversized hoodie.

The girl from the corner shop.

For a moment, Ryan hesitated. He could keep walking, avoid any awkward conversation. But something pulled him toward her. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was the fact that she'd gotten under his skin in a way that didn't happen often.

He walked over, hands shoved in his pockets. She didn't notice him at first, her attention fixed on the water, the soft glow of the streetlights reflecting off the surface.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Ryan asked, his voice cutting through the night like a dull blade.

She jumped slightly, turning to look at him. A hint of recognition flickered across her face. "Oh, hey. Yeah, I guess not. Just needed a break." Her breath fogged in the cold air, disappearing as quickly as it came.

Ryan nodded, sitting down on the other end of the bench, leaving a comfortable distance between them. They sat in silence for a moment, both staring out at the river. He wasn't sure what to say, but the quiet wasn't uncomfortable. It was calming, in a way.

"So, did the Coco Pops help?" Ryan asked, breaking the silence with a smirk.

She chuckled softly. "Still haven't eaten them. I guess you were right about the workload. I've been drowning in lectures since I've started. I thought Freshers week was all about partying and not giving a shit but I know that if I go out I'll miss out on important things."

"Yeah, welcome to the nightmare," he sighed. "You should go out though. Me and my mate Josh did fuck all during the first week. I think we alternated between pub and club each night. It's an experience you'll never get before. But if you're not into that stuff, that's cool as well. There's loads of music venues and silent discos and costume parties if that interests you more. There's something for everyone really."

"Thanks." She smiles.

"I'm guessing you're not from around here?"

"I'm from Cork. I live in a little town on the coast called Schull. You've probably not heard of it."

"I don't think I have. Must be a big change being in such a big city."

"It is." She looks upset. "My flatmates are quite depressing as well. I'm not enjoying it much."

"In what way are they depressing?" Ryan is concerned.

"They just sit in their rooms and don't talk to anyone. Just your classic antisocial people. I don't think I know any of their names. I was sat on my own having dinner and just needed a breather. So I came out here to watch the river. It's beautiful. Reminds me of home."

"I'm sorry about that," Ryan wants to comfort her but he keeps to his side of the bench. "You know you can always ask to move flats. Or you could join some societies to make some more friends."

"It's okay. I think I'll leave it for now." She looks down at her shoes, watching how the light gleams off them. She turns to him, her expression softening. "You seem different to the other med students I've met."

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Different how?"

"I don't know. Most of them are all intense. Like they've got everything figured out. But you... you seem more... real. A bit less robotic. More human"

Ryan couldn't help but laugh, though there was an edge of bitterness to it. "Real? I'm barely holding it together."

"Exactly," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "At least you admit it. Everyone else I've met in the years above look like they're on the tipping point but are desperately trying to hold it all in."

There was something disarming about the way she spoke, like she wasn't afraid to challenge him. Most people either ignored Ryan's cynicism or got uncomfortable around it. But she, she pushed back, in the softest way.

"So why medicine?" she asked suddenly, her eyes searching his.

Ryan leaned back, letting out a long breath. "Because I couldn't be a rock star, I guess," he said, half-joking. Her curious expression urged him to explain. "I was in a band in school. 'Inhaler'. Thought we were going to make it big. We didn't. So, medicine seemed like the next logical step, right?"

She tilted her head, intrigued. "Quite the career shift."

"Yeah, well. My parents were always pushing for it. Figured I'd give them something to be proud of."

"And are they?"

Ryan's throat tightened. He hadn't expected her to ask that, and for a second, he didn't know how to answer. "I think so. I mean, I haven't dropped out yet, so... that's something."

The girl smiled softly, but her eyes stayed on him, like she could see through the bravado. "You don't seem like someone who does things just to make others happy."

Ryan shrugged, looking away, out at the river again. "I don't know anymore. Maybe I am."

Silence fell between them again, but this time it felt heavier, like they were both teetering on the edge of something unspoken. The air between them felt charged, and Ryan found himself wanting to know more about her, wanting to pull her into whatever mess he was dealing with.

"What about you?" he asked. "Why medicine?"

Her lips parted slightly, as if she hadn't expected the question. "Honestly? I'm still figuring that out. I wanted to help people, I guess. I liked science a lot as a kid but also wanted to be able to speak to people. I didn't like the idea of being stuck in a lab for the rest of my life. But I don't know if that's enough anymore."

Ryan nodded, understanding more than he cared to admit. "Yeah. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's enough."

For a moment, they just sat there, sharing the weight of their doubts, their unspoken fears.

Ryan shifted, turning to face her fully. "What's your name, by the way?"

She laughed, the sound soft and almost musical in the quiet night. "It's Emer."

"Ryan," he replied, holding out his hand.

She hesitated for a second, then took it. Her hand was warm, and for a moment, he didn't let go. Neither did she.

When she finally pulled away, Ryan could still feel the imprint of her touch, something electric lingering in the air between them. He cleared his throat, unsure of what to say next, but there was a spark in her eyes that made his heart beat just a little faster.

"What did you play in the band?" She found herself looking at his fingers, the silver rings pushed upon them.

"What do you think?" He tilted his head, giving her a challenge.

"I'm really bad at this. You said a rock band so let me guess... keys?"

"Close but drums."

"Ah. That makes sense actually." She could imagine him sat at the drumkit, sticks in hand and hair all over his face as the vibrations tap at the floorboards.

"You want to get out of here?" he asked, surprising himself with the offer. He still had that essay to deal with. He glanced at his watch, he had another 10 hours until it was due. Plus he had no tutorials or lectures on Monday, so he could just nap for the day. He also wanted to cheer her up. Show her that Dublin wasn't at all as dim and depressing as she thought it was.

Emer raised an eyebrow. "Where to?"

"Who knows. Wherever we can get in."

Ryan could see the spark of curiosity in Emer's eyes, which only encouraged him. "I mean, Dublin's full of spots that stay open late. I know a place with live music. Not many people know of it. It's usually clogged up with students from RIAM. They sometimes let you play if you ask nicely."

Emer perked up at the mention of music. "Live music? That sounds fun. Can you really just walk in and play?"

"Depends on your charm," he grinned, the cocky side of him flaring up. "I'm pretty persuasive when I want to be."

"Is that so?" She smiled back, and he felt that electric tension again. "Alright then, let's see if you can charm your way in. Lead the way."

Ryan stood up, shaking off the remnants of the library's stress. As they walked side by side, he couldn't help but glance at her. The way she moved with that casual confidence made him feel a little lighter, a little less like the burdened med student he'd been all week.

"Tell me about Schull." he asked as they crossed a street, the distant sounds of music drifting toward them.

Emer laughed, brushing a braid behind her ear. "Not much to tell, really. It's your average coastal town. Very scenic and calm. My Ma owns a café on the main street. I used to sit down to do my work and listen to all kinds of conversations. We'd get quite a few tourists actually, every now and then. This summer I worked as a barista just to help out but I think it's helped me to open up a lot more."

"That's actually really cool," Ryan admitted, intrigued. "A café sounds like a good gig. You must be great at dealing with people. That will help you a lot in this career."

"I like to pretend I am." She smiled. "I still don't think my skin is thick enough to be a doctor."

"Be a pathologist or a histologist then. You can avoid people all together."

"That's true." She nodded, although deep down she did like the idea of personally helping patients. "What do you see yourself doing after uni?"

"Surgery, I think. I'm really interested in cardiology. So maybe cardio-thoracic surgery. But I think once we've done placements I'll start to make my mind up. Being a GP might give me more time to keep up with my music but I've always liked the idea of being a surgeon."

"I think you'd be an incredible surgeon. Most surgeons I've met are drained of any humanity. Let's hope you haven't lost it by the end of these five years."

"That's unlikely." Ryan admitted. The fifth year med students in Biosoc were complete bellends, especially the group who would do anything to become surgeons. He didn't want to become one of them.

After reaching the end of the street, Ryan gestured towards an alleyway which was probably the darkest corner of Dublin Emer has ever encountered.

"Ladiest first," Ryan said, stepping to the side so that she could pass through.

She peered through, anxious. "It smells. Of weed."

He laughed. "It's Dublin. What'd you expect?" He decided to walk through first to show her that it was not as terrifying as she thought. The look on her face told him she'd rather do anything that walk through there. "It's the last street until we get there, I promise."

"Alright." She followed through, hit by another lovely scent of urine and kept to the centre of the alleyway, worried about her clothes brushing the side and catching any piss. She stared at the back of his head as he made his way forwards. His dark blue jeans, his white button up shirt, his hair grown out at the back, curly strands falling from the bottom. She was surprised she had met someone so genuine in her first few days at uni. She thought she wouldn't make any friends and that she'd be stuck in her room for hours at a time, wishing that she actually tried to go out and get to know people. The big city made her nervous. She always resorted to thinking the worse. Especially because the streets and faces were no longer familiar.

"Here we are. The Harp and Clover." Ryan moved to the side so that Emer could have a look through the stone arches ending the alleyway. Green light escaped the pub through the almost-shattered windows and illuminated the cobbled pavement. Groups of teenagers were smoking outside and looked at Emer's hoodie with a frown. They were all dressed in dark clothes, with countless piercings and colourful makeup. Emer felt a bit out of place.

"Wow it's... not what I expected. But cool." Emer smiled. She continued looking at the decor. The words 'Harp and Clover' were placed at the top in dark green and orange. Very patriotic. A harp symbol and clover aligned just underneath.

Ryan read her expression. She didn't look very impressed. He knew how to change her mind.

They entered the pub, glares still shooting at them. The teens inside all had pints of guiness and there was a band on the stage, playing some kind of alternative-rock. Emer could imagine Ryan on the stage, playing the drums and smiling as the crowd jumped to the beat. She was interested in hearing him play or maybe even hearing the songs he made with his band back in the day. She didn't want to force him into anything and decided to keep silent, instead taking in the music and the atmosphere. She pulled off her hoodie and placed it down on a bar stool, leaving her in a black tank top that made her seem at least a little bit more suited for the ocassion. The glares seemed to cease once they noticed Ryan with her.

"Josh! Hey, didn't think I'd see you here." Ryan's attention drifted to a tall guy in the distance with braids who was speaking to a group of people.

The guy turned around and ran towards Ryan, careful not to drop his Guiness in the process. "Ryan, mate. What on earth are you doing here? I thought you hated this place. And who's this?" He had a drunken slur to his voice, dark brown eyes and a leather jacket upon his shoulders.

"This is Emer," Ryan introduced his new friend. "Emer, Josh."

"Another med student I'm guessing?" Josh was quick to catch on, quickly shaking her hand.

"How did you know?" She questioned, surprised that he was also a med student.

"Dead behind the eyes." He joked.

"Rude," she shot back, a playful smirk creeping onto her lips.

"Josh used to be in the band with me. He was the lead guitarist," Ryan interjected, shooting Josh a knowing look, who was now winking with unabashed enthusiasm, probably astonished that Ryan was actually talking to a girl—a rare moment indeed.

"You guys should play together. For old times' sake," Emer suggested, nodding toward the stage, where two saxophonists swayed, and an older woman belted out a sultry jazz tune that filled the room with rich, smooth notes.

"I think I'll need a drink first." He hoisted himself onto the barstool, and Emer couldn't help but notice how he seemed to shrink next to the towering Josh. She had never really registered how short he was until now, and it made her want to smile. "D'you want anything, Emer?" Ryan caught her attention by tapping her shoulder. His fingers were cold against her skin. She jolted before turning sharply to meet his intense gaze.

"I'll have whatever you're having. Surprise me." She hoisted herself up beside him, spinning the bar chair around like a child.

She watched carefully as Ryan spoke to the bartender, his accent deep and rough, a classic posh Dubliner. She wondered where he grew up, where he went to school, who his friends were, what he ate for breakfast, the songs that kept him up at night. Too many questions were rolling through her mind like tumbleweeds.

He sat there in silence, his fingers picking at the wood falling off of the bar, absentmindedly thinking about his to do list that was pretty much infinite. He needed to finish that essay. Soon. He glanced at his watch. 8 hours. It was 12am and the essay was due at 8 in the morning. He'd be fine. Surely.

Emer chose a question out of the millions crashing through her head. "So, what's your favourite band?"

He stopped picking at the wood and turned to face her with a smirk. Her head was pressed into her hand. Her eyes darting across his features - each line of his face, every curl of his dark eyelashes drawing her in. She noted the bracelets adorning his wrists and the tattoos that peeked from beneath his rolled sleeves, stories etched into his skin.

"I could go on forever." He placed two fingers upon his chin, thinking. "I've been listening to a lot of Monkeys and Fontaines at the moment. Gets me through my revision. But I think Bowie is up there for me. Such an inspiration. I went as him for Halloween last year, actually."

"You've got to show me a picture," she insisted, mouth wide open.

He reach for his phone and placed it down on the bar. Scrolling through his camera roll - which contained an absurd number of anatomy notes - and reached a chaotic collection of drunken party photos. He stopped on a polaroid of a group of lads who were all posing in a variety of costumes, Ryan in the middle with a bright orange wig and eyepatch. He zoomed in on each person and told Emer their names. Bobby through to Louis. 'Inhaler'. But then, something shifted, a shadow crossing his face as he powered off the phone, his gaze drifting away, fingers scratching at his ear.

He started picking at the wood again. Emer put her hand on his, trying to comfort him. "I bet you guys were incredible. But you can't keep thinking that you failed, Ryan. You're doing so well and you're working so hard. Even if this isn't exactly how you imagined your life would work out, you're not in a bad place at all, you've got an amazing future waiting for you."

His hand froze in place beneath hers, the warmth of her touch contrasting with the chill of his uncertainty. His eyes still glued to the wood.

"Two pints for Ryan." The barman slid over the drinks, landing perfectly in front of the pair.

Ryan glanced up at Emer, the tension easing ever so slightly. "Thank you," he murmured, giving her hand a quick squeeze before taking a hearty swig of the Guinness, the dark liquid disappearing as if it were water.

"This is going to sound so embarassing and un-Irish of me..." She put her hand around the pint glass, fingerprints marking the surface.

"You've never had a Guiness, have you?" He already knew by the terror that swam across her face. "It's better than you think. Has a unique taste to it."

Emer lifted the pint glass to her lips, hesitating for a brief second as the dark liquid shimmered under the pub's dim lighting. She could feel the cool glass press against her lower lip before tilting it just enough for the Guinness to meet her mouth. The first sip was slow, tentative. Her eyes widened slightly as the bitter foam touched her tongue, the creamy head giving way to the rich, almost velvety texture of the stout. It was heavier than she expected, its bold taste unfolding in layers—first malty, then an unexpected bitterness. She pulled the glass away and swallowed, the aftertaste lingering. Her brow furrowed slightly, but there was a curiosity in her expression, like she wasn't sure if she liked it yet—but wanted another sip just to be sure.

"What do you think?" He had been watching as her expression shifted but found it hard guage what was going on in that brain of hers.

"It's something." She laughed, this time she took a big swig of it. She wanted to clear her mind. "I think I like it. I don't know."

"That's how I felt when I had my first one." He had a quizzical look in his eyes. "So, what about you, what's your favourite band?"

"Wunderhorse. Without a doubt."

"Really? Didn't think they'd be your style."

"Well, I also love Phoebe Bridgers and Lizzy Mcalpine. My taste is all over the place really."

"So is mine."

Ryan took another swig of his Guinness, the frothy head nearly spilling over the rim, but he didn't care. The warmth of the drink spread through him, loosening the knots of anxiety that had been tightening in his chest since he'd stepped into the pub. He looked over at Emer, who was now nursing her pint, the corners of her mouth curling into a smile as she talked about the bands she loved.

"What's your favorite song by Wunderhorse?" he asked, genuinely curious, leaning in closer, the hum of the crowd fading into a background buzz.

"Probably 'Morphine'. It's just so hauntingly beautiful. What about you?"

He nodded. "I'm going to be really boring and say 'Leader of the pack'."

"No honestly that's a classic. That's the first song I heard when I started listening to them and just fell in love. I'd be happy to send you a playlist with their best songs if you're interested."

"Sure." He passed her his phone. "Type in your spotify, I'll stalk it later."

She typed in her username into the searchbar and followed herself on his account, feeling a bit nervous about whatever stalking her account meant. He semed like quite the cultured musician. Some of her playlists were slightly embarassing to say the least.

"Ryan, come here, lad!" Josh shouted from the distance. The Jazz music had stopped and students were trying to get on stage, begging the owner if they could have a go.

Josh came over and dragged Ryan away. "Just going to steal him for a few minutes, sweetheart. We need a drummer."

Ryan clambered onto the stage with his friend. There was a girl up there with a bass guitar, a guy holding the microphone with a guitar over his frame and another girl on the keys. Ryan was passed some drumsticks, quite worried about what was to ensue. He didn't look like he'd played infront of a crowd in a while.

Emer walked towards the stage and stopped by the wall, leaning her shoulder against the cold wood, watching as the musicians tuned their instruments. She used to play the clarinet back in the day, in the high school orchestra. She loved being part of the music and closing her eyes as it washed over her. But her studies prevented her from carrying on with that dream. In a way, she was similar to Ryan. But his passion for music was definitely at a whole other level. As he crashed the drumsticks together and the first note thrummed from Josh's guitar, Emer closed her eyes like she was in orchestra again, feeling the music through every bone in her body. All 206.

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