#im also a bit bitter bc you know if he were a she cat then he’d get tons of animations of ocs killing him

[yuridovewing]

i really hate how the fandom’s excuse for jayfeather’s shitty behavior (and outright medical malpractice in certain cases. looking at the time he refused to help squilf in labour bc he couldnt be bothered and later blamed her for how bad it was) is ��well the clan was ableist to him growing up, so fuck them!” ok how does that excuse him screaming at and berating the cats that didnt do any of that. or the babies.

[crystallizsch]

uhhh hi so sorta long post about pre-twst yuusha bc i just need to finally get it out of my system

might be all over the place and incoherent (like it's still proofread but it still might not make sense lmao) but uhhhh anyways enjoy the ramblings of a very (in)sane person </3

(also MASSIVE MASSIVE thanks to @0honeybones0 for making me these name headers, it’s SO cool and pretty 🥺💖) (there’s also one for yuuna i can use when i have the opportunity)

reminder that yuusha’s nrc is set in an au where it's more of a university (everyone is 18+ years old)

so pre-twst yuusha takes place from elementary to middle school and high school

i’ve mentioned before (i think??) that i like the idea that there are counterparts of the twst cast in yuu’s original world. as in like regular people and not the disney characters they are based on.

and yuusha’s original world is just present-day earth so-

i imagine pre-twst there’s parallels to her relationship with the twst cast. they all just know each other through being in a fancy school.

(so essentially this is just like a modern school, magicless au for twst fjdhdsj) that’s why some of the twst cast already has particular feelings and opinions towards the prefect that they can’t understand.

yuusha would have a pet cat similar to grim. ace and deuce are her childhood friends <- all three met during elementary when they were all queued up for the principal’s office after picking fights (not with one another, all separate fights lmao). the trio talked and magically clicked and have been inseparable ever since.

as for yuusha herself, she comes from a pretty wealthy/influential family, oldest sibling of 2 including her (insert doomed siblings narrative here 🤌), and she’s considered an academic and some kind of musical prodigy.

playing instruments comes naturally to her and she enjoys it genuinely (her specialty being the violin).

and if you would ask someone, yuusha has the brightest and most loving personality a kid could have. but she’s also stubborn and headstrong and way too confident.

going back to that bit with her first meeting with ace and deuce, yuusha got riled up and physically fought a kid to defend a friend.

since her family cared about their public image, she was punished by being “taught” to control her feelings and emotions. but that just left her masking her genuine personality entirely from then on-- throughout her preteens -> teens. as a result the bright and loving kid was nowhere to be found anymore.

the only place she can show a semblance of her real personality is when she is performing playing music (or in private with the people she trusts the most). outside that, she was simply cold as ice. the ice queen if you will (yes im still leaning into yuusha being somewhat of a twisted elsa ��)

anyways yes we have jamil and kalim here too hang on-

due to wealthy/influential families, kalim and yuusha just know each other and they hit it off pretty well. they are good friends but the friendship tend to be just surface level despite having a lot in common (being the oldest, the family’s trophy, etc.)

it’s not a fault of their own that they’re not closer. both families care a lot about public image and influence, and their relationship is just a product of being forced into interactions because they were the only people around the same age during fancy parties/meetups.

kalim and jamil are also childhood friends. they get along pretty well but there’s still that unspoken power imbalance bc kalim’s parents are jamil’s parents' bosses. (the slightly watered down master-servant relationship from twst basically;;)

in this case, jamil still has to be aware of that power dynamic bc i also imagine that jamil’s family are not in the position to just get another job if something messes up.

(and let me live in the delusion that they were genuinely good friends as kids and that jamil just grew more bitter when he grew up as he slowly realizes the position he and his family is in)

(also i imagine jamil as a kid had like an aladdin-type of personality. im basing this on jamil’s scalding sands hometown event where there are childhood stories of him being an absolute menace) (honestly just. obsessed with the idea of a kid jamil being the absolute opposite of his present self)

anyways, jamil was the kid that yuusha physically fought ---

jamil was playing basketball with his group of friends. and yuusha was passing by with her friend (which in this case was riddle) (at first i thought of azul but i thought of a better reasoning for it to be riddle instead)

one of the kids playing basketball thought that it would be funny to throw a ball at one of the “nerds” in the school, and so they did. it was mainly intended for yuusha but it hit riddle instead.

it bruised riddle, and yuusha confronted the other kids. at first she tried to be reasonable, wanting them to just apologize, but it just kind of escalated.

jamil had no part in it but stepped in himself anyway, and defended his friends because of course he would believe them more than the “pretentious upper middle class kids”.

since the tension was already high yuusha ended up beating up jamil after something he said which was the last straw. (girl 🧍)

they were pulled away from each other just in time for a grown-up to catch them. riddle and jamil were sent to the nurse’s office and yuusha to the principal’s bc she was the only one who didn’t suffer any injury and was the one who clearly appeared to be the instigator of the fight (the other kids just ran away and managed to escape any punishment).

mrs rosehearts was already iffy with having riddle be study buddies with yuusha. when she found out that riddle was injured, she chastised yuusha's parents and let them know that she will no longer let yuusha associate with her son.

(riddle then got switched to homeschooling and yuusha didn’t see him again until the start of high school)

the rest is history with meeting ace and deuce and yuusha's punishment.

cutting it off here bc it’s getting long enough 😭

not everything here is set in stone so i might change some things and i still need to figure out some specific details so that i can finally write this in a more proper way ;;;

pre-twst middle school & highschool yuusha + jamil and yuusha pre-twst dynamic will be in a separate post!

thank you for reading if you've made it this far <3333

also im down for questions/suggestions if interested??? idk idk bc a lot of this is very vague or prob doesnt make sense dhjdjd

[sanchoyo]

Hello there friend...I'm silly tired and it's the middle of the night so this might not be coherent but I saw ur tags on that religion vs non post. Just wanted to say I know where ur coming from. I'm sorry that happened to u, that was a terribly presumptuous and unhelpful thing for them to do. I went thru something similar when my cat died, just to a lesser extent. I was told, in a well meaning comforting way, that she wouldn't suffer anymore, and my bitter grief stricken response was "she doesn't EXIST anymore. She's gone forever" bc I don't believe in the afterlife either.

OHHH sending u love for this <33 I was half awake and mad abt it but honestly its been like 2 months and im Fine with it now. (well maybe not FINE. still angry but it doesn't feel RAW anymore, like I can talk about it now) what's kind of funny is, I normally do like to talk about religion and the subject of an afterlife! it's something me and my sister have talked about a lot (not entirely sure what label she'd use now, but she used to be really into witchy stuff, so spiritual/religious topics would be fun to discuss between us, I am still spiritual in...weird ways...) it's just. there's a time and a place!! when he is dying and I am grieving is NOT the time or place!!!

It's so annoying when people around here assume I MUST be some flavor of christian because we're in the bible belt. like it doesn't even occur to them that I might not be. I have had people talk to me at previous jobs about how much jesus loves me and how he'll make things go well for me, and during those times I just kind of smiled and nodded along (I have to assume they want to tell me, specifically, these things because they see the Blue Hair and Pronouns vibes and feel...compelled...?? which like. lol???) like my mom took me being gay super well, much better than me telling her I wasn't a christian!! she CRIED over that!! and that didn't bother me so much because it's about me, right? and I don't care what happens to me after I die. it comes up a lot, where I am. people are fanatic about it, so I'm used to it.

but when it was about my precious dog, that really got me...the way those vets handled it was the only time I've been actively so annoyed and upset by it. the fact his pawprint came embedded in a little booklet thing that had a whole long ramble about how he's so happy and waiting for me to arrive REALLY upset me.

I totally get how 'she won't suffer anymore' could have set off the same thing, ugh, my heart goes out to you for that. funnily enough that was the only little phrase that DID bring me comfort. because my boy was suffering a lot his last few weeks, and not existing...put a stop to that pain. but it also put a stop to everything good, right? which sucks. like obviously I would have preferred him being ALIVE and not suffering, but that wasn't possible, so...that felt better than 'you'll see him again in heaven/he'll get to see jesus/rainbow road' stuff, in a way, for me. I just..knew it was his time and it would have been irresponsible and selfish for me to let him go slow and painfully.

it's just like...different things help different people. maybe the idea that dogs go to heaven helped the vets, as many animals as they likely put down, it makes it easier for them, I assume. and I'm glad if they had something like that to comfort them. I'm kind of jealous of it, honestly. I honestly want to give them a bit of grace for it, they were otherwise very kind and handled things well...

But they weren't the ones losing a best friend so they shouldn't have said it out loud. They can comfort themselves with that in their minds and keep things non-religious with clients. a very bitter and still-angry part of me wants to write the owner of that place a letter chewing them out for it. I won't but-- the idea of it makes me feel a little better lol. mentally being a karen and having a big dramatic fit in my brain only is very cathartic.

(I'm also open to the idea of reincarnation in some way, and I DO hope I can meet him again, somehow...it's just really really hard for me to imagine a christian 'heaven' scenario, lmao) I've been lucky enough to see him again in my dreams though, (those do still make me cry when I wake up and realize it wasn't real aaa ;_; ) and i'm lucky to have a lot of pictures and videos of him, as long as I'm alive he'll be alive in a sense, in my memories, and that's a lot of comfort. I can still speak fondly of him and see him in those ways, even if I'll never be able to really be with him again, never hold him again or play with him again. and I got 15 years with him, which I try to be grateful for. I tried my best to give him the best life I could. And I'll always have so many fond memories and so much love for him, and I'm sure the same goes for your kitty. <3

silly boy in his silly little hut ☝

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[ticklishpeter]

maybe some five and lila headcanons? 👀 lowkey if they werent enemies all the time they would have such a funny chaotic bond

YESSS ok first of all,,,  if u haven’t read ‘a bitter match’ by @tickle-bugs, ur not living ur best life yet and i STRONGLY recommend it bc its one of my faves

okAY so most of the sibs,, with five, i feel like are sometimes weary of going too far??? like just in case something goes wrong and he goes missing again?? bc they know how he can teleport when he’s nervous

but LILA just sees that he's a little tiny shitball who definitely needs to step off his high horse n laugh a little bit

and OOF she found out about five from the sibs. i know diego told her stories about how ticklish he was as a kid,, and duh ofc she needed to find out for herself

so one time they were sparring and lila grabbed a knee and WOW the way five’s eyes got SO wide and he just started THRASHING and it was the first time she’d ever heard him laugh

and she thought his maniacal laughter was the most hilarious shit in the world so she’s just laughing with him rdkfhj absolutely WRECKING him,, talking to him like a literal child

“who’s a ticklish little old man? huh?? you are!” “what’s so funny? aren’t you like, a trained assassin? surely you’re not ticklish or anything.” “and you say i’m the crazy one? do you hear yourself?”

im also absolutely 100% on board for diego to just come in like,,, “get her ribs. thighs are pretty bad too.” and then just leaving lila to SUFFER

omg theyre like feral cats fighting ,, like a cartoon where its just a big cloud of dust and flailing limbs?? that’s them absolutely

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[partyinthemysterymachine]

as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like....... 

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart. 

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate?? 

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but 

gestures helplessly

y’all fr?? 

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen.  good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired.  i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production. 

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

[jincherie]

some fic recs

we love a good proverbial nutte(tm) over some quality fiction in this house!!! here are some fics that have been rustling my jimmies lately!!! [under the cut bc it got a bit long!!]

➤ by @the-protractor-writes ​

— by its cover | hoseok [ao3]

↳ ‘Your annoying little brother Jimin accepts a dare and summons a demon into your living room. There are multiple problems with this. 1) Demons are the most hated species on earth. 2) That demon happens to be Jung Hoseok, the most popular guy on campus 3) The fact that Jung Hoseok is a demon is his biggest secret and 4) Jung Hoseok hates your guts. You’re in for a wild ride. Demon!Hoseok, magic-university!au and enemies-to-lovers!au’

— a kiss to save a life | seokjin [ao3]

↳ ‘Being retainer to Prince of the Forest, Kim Seokjin is an exhausting job- he’s selfish, he’s impulsive and just has a knack for getting himself in trouble.

But when an adventure out in the human realm leads to Seokjin falling in love with a human woman and he makes a deal that threatens your entire kingdom, it’s time to start asking yourself: How far are you willing to go for your prince?Fairy prince!Jin x reader. Loosely inspired by the Little Mermaid but with a few extra twists ;)’

—  schemes and tricks to win her heart | taehyung [ao3]

↳ ‘Rich company heir Kim Seokjin has a plan to win the heart of the girl of his dreams, and you, his little brother’s best friend, are dragged along for the ride. His younger brother objects, of course. Bestfriend!Taehyung and Chaebol!Jin’ 

➤ by @chimchimsauce ​

—  sanctuary | jimin

↳ ‘YN is a young girl, bright and ambitious, but due to her busy schedule, she’s been unable to make any real friends. When an ad for Saint Mary’s Sanctuary catches her attention, she never expected her life to be changed by a certain hybrid named Jimin.’

— det cep xenu | jimin

↳ ‘Det Cep Xenu: noun// fiction// A fictional or otherwise illogical phenomenon that occurs in reality. Soulmate AU’

➤ by @ salade [ao3]

— call an uber? | ot7 [on current hiatus!]

↳ ‘Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right? What happens when all of this occurs, but you're still doing your job AND getting a large sum for it? Now there's something to think about, and it's definitely not what you're thinking.’

➤ by @ naidoo [ao3]

— everything you are | namjoon?

↳ ‘When Kim Namjoon is in a coma and becomes your patient you learn quickly that not all things - or people - are as they seem. Confronted with his attention seeking girlfriend who cares more about the numbers of likes and clicks and how often she makes a front page than she cares about him you start realizing what a lonely life he leads.’

➤ by @ ms_writer [ao3]

— seven for the price of one | yoongi (+ ot7) [m]

↳ ‘You always knew that dating Min Yoongi meant having his six friends as well. If you ever had dinner together, you were aware of the fact that you had to buy six plates of food more. If you tried to surprise him with a movie night, you knew you had to make space for the six other on the couch.

What you didn't know was that when Min Yoongi wasn't in the mood to have sex, another one of his friends could give you a hand.’

➤ by @countrysundae 

— when the planets align | yoongi, jimin, jungkook

↳ ‘In which you are plucked from Earth to be the next warrior in some intergalactic game of titans. You've been training for two years now. Why are all these awkward boys coming out of the wood work now? You have to stay focused and survive not only for yourself, but, the fate of your planet and everyone on it. You can't get distracted from your feelings. Not now.’

!! - sidenote: i am so whipped for this!!!

➤  by @ faery_kth [ao3]

— lueur de lune | (almost) ot7

↳ ‘your recent move has caused a lot of stress and you decide to take a stroll by the little lake behind your house only to find the moon and her fallen star’

!! - sidenote: i am also so very whipped for this one!!!

➤  by @ valkook [ao3]

— three pints full | jimin, jungkook, yoongi

↳ ‘You're assigned to a frightening case, a body is found in the bitter unforgiving terrain of Montana with strange bite marks, far from home and the warmth of Vegas. More casualties and victims are discovered with the same marks in your home turf. Your bravery, wit, and life will be tested.But what happens when you fall for the very killers you're hunting?

Oh, and their also your neighbors.’

!! - sidenote: !!!!!!! ugh im so far up this fics ass

➤  by @ syubkatsu [ao3]

— my housemates, the deadly sins | ot7

↳ ‘Your life went downhill as soon as you entered university. During the first year, you got so stressed that you were diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Halfway through your second year, your parents had gotten into a horrible accident and passed away. Now you were alone, a beautiful new home coming under your possession. Once your grandmother's, you had inherited it from your mother's side. That meant you never needed to handle the rent; all you needed to deal with now was your inner turmoil with no help whatsoever. or so you thought..’

➤ by @ xuhei [ao3]

— poles apart | taehyung

↳ ‘message from: nams ; knew I could count on you to be normal. have you and taehyung got anywhere yet? / message to: nams ; what do you mean? the two of us are friends. you and jimin are gonna get somewhere before i ever get anywhere with taehyung / message from: nams - ‘pzziza lads’ ; aha! i knew you liked him! / message from: nams ; sent that on the wrong chat but you’re right if you thought that was to you’

➤ by @ agentlemanshat [ao3]

— potions, magic, and otherworldly charmers | all (oneshots?)

↳ ‘So this is my excuse for writing that sweet sweet magic content I've wanted from Bangtan and never could get because what are the chances that BTS just suddenly comes out with a concept where Jungkook has to dress like a furry and Namjoon like a witch from a Tumblr aesthetic blog. Smh’

➤ by @ citronblue [ao3]

— the magic shop | namjoon, jin, jungkook

↳ ‘BTS Love Yourself: Tear Prompt #7 Magic Shop: “It’s okay to trust me. This is a Magic Shop that will console you.”You have never experienced true love, so out of a whim, you decided to write a wish to be granted by the Magic Shop. It’s a club run by seven students at your college and they are known to be able to grant any wish, besides money, to come true. Your wish grantors turn out to be Park Jimin and Kim Namjoon, two figures whom you absolutely detest. What happens when you finally learn the truth that every wish comes at a cost? (Greek mythology related)’ 

➤ by @ schluemr [wattpad]

— kitties and cupcakes | jimin

↳ ‘Y/n...can I bite you?" / Hybrid au, Reader adopts a stray hybrid cat and he helps her out at the bakery she owns’

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

[boyfriem-moved]

pl ea se info dump about your ocs

oh boy ok you,,, don’t want this but u already asked and it’s too late to go back so im just gonna start talking

ok so i have like 2 separate oc worlds and 3 seperate groups of ocs within those (these are just the main ones, there’s ones i don’t think abt anymore and ones i’ve abandoned and fan characters and stuff but if i went over all of that i’d be here all day so i’ll just stick with these)

so the first world is just our world, modern day, but with magic. there’s this one town, barnsley, georgia, that’s cut off from the rest of the world. most ppl drive by without ever noticing it, and if someone tries to go in who’s not wanted the town will disappear or try to kill them or just do something to keep them out. it’s a vaguely sentient town. in barnsley there’s a big forest and no one’s ever gone in and come out the other side. there’s ambiguous danger in the forest, mostly faeries who will make you fall in love with them and then kill you and harvest your bones and stuff.

so there’s like 4-6 characters depending on where we’re looking at in terms of what storyline i’m following (this is the one that i did nanowrimo for three (3) times and have over 100,000 words of thrown out content for and obsess over constantly so it has the most solid plot and there’s a lot of it) so anyways i’ll just go over all 6 and try to make it as simple as possible without talking about converging storylines and alternate drafts and stuff

ok! so! vi larson-park is the daughter of one of barnsley’s 3 great magicians! her mom could do all sorts of crazy magic and i can’t get into the parents’ backstory here bc they have a whole OTHER story and that’s just. too much (maybe i’ll do that later? we’ll see) so yeah her mom did magic and also made some bad deals and stole some stuff from the woods and indirectly caused some ppls deaths but it’s like fine probably. so vi grew up with her mom, natalie, her mom’s witch girlfriend, erica, and erica’s twin brother, simon (who i’ll get into later and also who doesn’t exist in half the scrapped drafts) in this big empty DEFINITELY HAUNTED house on the edge of town where erica grew up and they were good and happy. then like a year ago natalie was killed by nick, who i’ll also get into later, and that’s kinda the end of her story, vi and erica are obviously devastated and they have a funeral and vi starts having the occasional odd dream here and there, but things go back to normal after awhile. vi has absolutely no aptitude for magic, and because of that she often feels alienated by erica and simon who are VERY magical and always talking about things she doesn’t understand. she’s fiercely loyal and protective and not really scared of anything. she’s always wanted to know what’s in the woods but knows better than to go looking

tyler is vi’s best friend and also 50% whole entire Not Human. he either came from the woods or was found outside a random gas station in like arizona or something depending on which draft i’m going by, but either way he was found around two years ago and has been clinging to vi ever since. his backstory is a big unknown to the human characters and no one really knows anything about him. he’s a faerie prince, the son of the erlking, who’s sort of the ambiguous villain of the story but i’ll get into him later. he has 3 brothers, sorrel, dain, and kell. sorrel is the oldest and known as the winter prince, then there’s kell for spring, dain for summer, and tyler himself for autumn. (btw his name isn’t actually tyler technically it’s robin but i'm not gonna get into that rn.) sorrel is cool and collected and stone cold bitch, and all he wants is to be king so he roped tyler into helping him try and kill their dad, which failed, so then he lost his position in the royal court and now he’s doing tons of morally gray stuff in an attempt to get back in his dad’s favor so he can kill him for real this time. dain and kell are sort of nothing at all and you don’t need to know anything except dain is really mean and violent and kell is an ally(?). after the whole failed killing debacle tyler ran away to barnsley in hopes that he could find something in common with the humans, since he’d been a faerie all his life and couldn’t stand it. he’s quiet and doesn’t like doing or saying things unless he absolutely has to, is generally unhelpful unless something benefits him, scared of being alone, hates being indoors, runs around barefoot and only eats food from the woods. he’s kinda like an outdoor cat.

nick and marcus jacobs are brothers and general hooligans. nick is the older one (he’s 19) and marcus is 15 and they grew up in barnsley for the first 14 years of marcus’ life until marcus accidentally killed their dad and they left town. which the dad killing subplot is really a lot to get into but basically their dad was the second magician, along with vi’s mom, except the effects of magic on a person can kinda drive a person insane and the others managed to keep it together but he slowly went crazy until he was paranoid and in pain all the time and ended up taking a lot of it out on his sons which ended in him threatening marcus and marcus in an act of self defense unleashing raw magic power he didn’t know he had and accidentally killing him and also taking out all the power in the entire town and causing a minor earthquake. it was a Big Deal. so yeah they buried their dad in the backyard and skipped town. after their dad died all his magic went down to nick so nick has newfound power (marcus btw has never been able to use magic since then and has no idea how he did it) but he also has voices in his head and weird dreams, and with all the voices yelling at him all the time he realizes that the only way to get rid of them is to get rid of the magicians. his dad did some magic bullshit that made him the vessel for the magic once he died but the other magicians didn’t so he doesn’t have to kill anyone besides them and it makes sense bc i say it does shut up. so for like a year they drive around aimlessly, meet with and kill vi’s mom, meet with and kill aidan’s dad (i’ll get to aidan once i’m done here), pick up a hitchhiker depending on which version of the story i’m telling, then go back home where they’re not really welcome anymore but that won’t stop them. nick is cold and mean and. y’know. a murderer, but he also loves marcus greatly and gets attached to people more easily than he would like to admit. he’s sort of closed himself off and resigned himself to killing “for the greater good”, but it’s hard for him, and there’s definitely people he wouldn’t kill. he fully planned to, once he got rid of the magicians, never kill again, and he keeps that promise. marcus is soft spoken and anxiety ridden and a bit of a crybaby and he hates death and doesn’t fully trust nick and doesn’t trust himself either. on the outside he appears bitter and angry constantly.

aidan mulligan is a HOOLIGAN! a whole entire rowdy boy! he’s also the son of the third magician and marcus’ ex(?) boyfriend? more like boyfriend on standby. it’s complicated. there’s nothing special to him, he’s rowdy bc his parents never gave him enough attention so he runs around with people he doesn’t really like and is always getting into trouble. his favorite activities are skipping church and running the local cryptid watch am radio station, which no one listens to and which he used to run with marcus. he misses marcus dearly and keeps waiting for him to come back. he’s loud and talkative and his mood changes drastically but is always on the highest setting. he’s either screaming-and-throwing-things angry or unable to shut up and bouncing all over the place. not to pick favorites but he’s my favorite i really love him. his life moto is “fuck you dad” basically. oh yeah nick killed his dad and stuff and it’s hit him hard but he’s not as torn up by it as he probably should be, which he feels terrible about. his mom lives on the other side of the country and doesn’t currently know his dad is dead, which isn’t really something you’re supposed to keep secret generally but the mulligan family said fuck the rules. he has two brothers, connor and seamus (connor older, seamus younger) and loves both of them though he would never admit it.

simon diederich is the secret special bonus magician!! also i think i gotta talk abt parent backstory for him so,,,, here goes: basically, simon and vi’s mom and marcus and aidan’s dads all stole magic from the forest in a way that doesn’t super make sense but it’s my story i can do what i want. and in the process simon died and they had to leave him behind in the woods, but then since the magic in the forest was weak it couldn’t continue being formless or else it would turn into nothing since so much of it had been damaged by the humans or w/e. so it took simon’s body as a vessel and resurrected him with all his old memories but also 100% more magic power. so he took that power and went back home and has been just straight chillin, unaging, for 30-ish years. he got like. immense wisdom when he was resurrected and is also possessed by a sentient forest so he does what the forest wants which is protect the town and fistfight anyone he doesn’t like. he’s obnoxious and immature and thinks he’s hot shit and loves these trees more than he loves other people probably

bonus character: lila is the ghost who lives in vi’s attic. she’s like 7. i love her

THAT HURT MY FINGERS TO TYPE. I HAD TO MOVE TO GOOGLE DOCS TO DO THIS BC TUMBLR KEPT LAGGING AND MY WORD COUNT IS NEARING 2000 BUT W/E LETS KEEP GOING

next, still in the same universe, are the residents of greywell, washington. greywell is what’s on the other side of those woods no one can cross in barnsley. how does that work? magic obviously. greywell is a lot like barnsley but more sinister, it’s a lot newer so the characters aren’t as fleshed out (with one exception) and there’s really only 3 i actually care abt so this ones gonna be a lot shorter. i’ve thought abt plot but nothing solid so there’s some...stuff but mostly this one will be short

zoe hammond: amateur teen witch who’s also cursed. she has an eye on her left hand which is always watching her and she wants off desperately. u know how i said in some versions of the story nick and marcus pick up a hitchiker? that’s her, going to barnsley bc she knows its magic and hopes someone there will know how to fix her. she respects authority and stays in line for the most part, but she also takes shit from no one. she’ll talk to nearly anyone but doesn’t particularly like anyone in town, also she sells witch shit out of the trunk of her car in the school parking lot

wesley: short rowdy trans boy with absolutely no self control who’s stoned all the time and does crazy things for the adrenaline rush and doesn’t bind safely and falls in love with every boy he meets. he skateboards bc of course he does. he’s always ready to fight and punches ppl a lot but usually ends up losing fights bc he’s tiny. i love him

noa: ok this dude went into the woods one (1) time and now there’s this magic glove stuck on their hand? and a ghost in their phone?? and they’re literally so confused and they’ve never had any friends in their entire life but all of a sudden that weird lesbian witch and her crazy skateboarder friend are talking to them all the time and they died? except they woke back up like nothing had happened even though their head basically blew up? and there’s like faeries and stuff coming after them because they want the glove and they can’t get the stupid thing off their hand and they have no idea what’s going on noa is an absolute nervous wreck who’s really fun to draw and they have no idea what’s happening to them and tbh i don’t rly know what i’m doing either but i’m having a good time

ada: the phone ghost.

last set!! i have them all done already from this thing i did with @dogstoes so i’ll just paste them in but first background:

this is a completely separate world, it’s like this 1910s era fictional city with magic and shit. the magic system is kinda complicated but basically there’s elemental magicians who are heavily tied to religion, they’re believed to be sacred and god sent by p much every organized religion. they do elements, it’s pretty simple. then there’s blood magicians who can basically transmute but they have to use their own blood to do it. anyone can learn to be a blood magician but most ppl don’t want to bc. blood ow. blood magicians are an ABOMINATION AGAINST GOD and there’s a stigma against them in religious communities so they tend to populate big cities and less religious places. there’s also healers who are born like elementals and can’t be trained, they’re isolated from both schools of magic bc unlike elementals they’re not pure (well, depending on which religion you ask) and unlike blood magicians they’re not common. born magicians are born with pure black eyes (irises? the colored part. not just all black) that differentiate them from nonmagic ppl. there’s also super intense mary sue magicians who r rare and born with red eyes (i started this world when i was 13 don’t judge me bitch) and they can shapeshift kinda? but in cool ways, it’s not just shapeshifting they could also make their skin tough or nails pointy or w/e. one of them specifically likes to harden his own blood in weapons it’s kinda metal. anyways here’s the character profiles from the google doc pasted in word for word

Characters (bc i suddenly decided this is Sharin With Rivers material If You Shall Take It):

So basically there's these 2 gangs, run by this woman Lyra Frey and this dude Lucas Sweeney, and they Do Not Like Each Other At All. Neither of them are good bc yknow...gangs….but lyra’s is like...better anyways here's characters

Lyra's dudes:

Emil Finch: 21, any and all pronouns, ace, lyra’s right hand man/ veteran of a bloody civil war (TECHNICALLY a war criminal but yknow…it's whatever). Likes cats and Arya, dislikes cigarettes and being short. Their birth name is Emilee, which they  shortened to their liking when they moved to The Big City, and they used their father's name (Finn O'Malley) to join the war. They're a healer magician but ssshhh don't tell anyone. They used their powers to hurt people when they were in The War and now don't trust themselves, so they stick to traditional medicine thank you very much. (Also knives. They’re a big fan of knives.)

Arya Frey: 21, she/her, Lyra’s adopted daughter and mechanic. She has METAL LEGS and has to walk with a cane so she doesn't go outside much, mostly makes machines and strategizes for her mom. Likes drawing, Emil, making things/taking them apart, dislikes cold weather (it makes her joints hurt), magic, Drunk Emil. She has two cats named vriska and karkat. Everyone is suspicious of these names even though it's like 1910 and an alternate universe and homestuck doesn't exist.

Jaz Anaheim: 18, he/him, big gay disaster, a pickpocket who came to the Big City with his brother when he was 16 to work and send money to his mom, stole from a kingpin, joined a gang, watched his brother die in front of him, and lied to his mom for 2 years about his job and his brothers aliveness while he sent her blood money. He's a humble farm boy, no magic, tall and uncoordinated, basically all he can do is steal and flirt badly and he's very aware. Also where he came from magicians were rare because they were all drafted for the war so when he sees magic he's way too impressed. Likes loud music, people being interested in him, his family (just his mom now :’)), his hometown, dislikes the city, feeling disliked, himself, swimming

Sweeney’s band of assholes:

Elliott Sweeney: 24, he/him, Sweeney’s son and certified dad hater. He's a blood magician which are common and not that impressive but he’s good at what he does bc he did nothing but practice for like 6 years. His dad basically controls him and makes him work for him because he's useful. He resents his dad with every ounce of his being but doesn't have the spine to do anything about it. After accidentally burning down part of their house and killing his mom his dad sent him away to the summer house in the country, where he lived for the past 6 years, obediently doing his dad’s bidding and learning how to control his magic until he got fed up and burned that house down (on purpose this time), making his dad move him back to the family house in the city so that he could keep an eye on him. he’s one of those badass mega magicians who does blood swords and stuff, he’s also spent so much time reading that he knows a lot about magic theory. Quiet, reserved, extremely petty, but shows a sense of humor around his sister. Never really knew Alise growing up so he’s more of a cool uncle than a brother. Likes his sister, learning things, astronomy, dislikes his dad, Emil, doing magic, fighting, feeling trapped

Alise Sweeney: 14, she/her, her dad named her Alise with an S because he's just that much of an asshole. She's a self trained blood magician and good at what she does. She hates her dad almost as much as Elliott does but she's also not a fucking baby about it. Is DEFINITELY planning on killing him at some point. Was raised to make jokes and do crime and her brother said if she does crime she's grounded. Has never been serious about anything ever, and probably has a screw loose. Has killed people. Is basically a tiny fighting machine. Her dad was rough on her growing up. Likes picking fights, Elliott and Atticus, pissing off her dad, causing trouble. Dislikes her dad, people stronger than her, tense situations, being alone

Atticus Grey: 16, he/him, not Sweeney’s son but hates him enough that he probably could be (in case you were noticing a theme here, sweeney is kinda unlikeable). His mom left soon after he was born and his dad ran up a huge debt and ended up working for Sweeney to pay it off, then died in a gang fight before he could get through it. Sweeney, the merciless motherfucker that he is, decided that Atticus would finish paying it off, and snatched him up as soon as he was 13. His dad used to hang out with Emil’s and so they ended up taking care of parentless Atticus (along with (extremely reluctant) Arya. Atticus is really close with Lyra’s entire crew because he's spent so much time around them. He's a fire magician who knows a bit of blood magic but barely uses it, and he's an angsty bitch. Likes Emil, being alone, dislikes everything else.

oh yeah then there’s those bitches in charge:

Lyra Frey is a [REDACTED] year old woman from [REDACTED] who moved to the city while fleeing from [REDACTED]. She was in the civil war briefly, fighting for the [REDACTED] side. Her real name is not Lyra, but is actually [REDACTED]. She loves Arya more than anything else probably. Sees Jaz as an unofficial son, is skeptical of Atticus, likes Emil but doesn’t trust them.

Lucas Sweeney is one of those rich bastards who also does crime on the side. He’s a politician but everyone and their mother knows he’s an absolute crime lord on the side. Has arguably more power than Lyra but has no idea how to use it, plus Alise has already recruited like half his employees into joining her uprising. He’s a selfish man and a terrible dad. No one likes him.

uh yeah that is. all!! this is over 3000 words jesus do asks have a word limit? i sure hope not

[kimsohn]

ok hi. just finished ur fic (maybe i should've read slower but i was too invested).

first off u are such an amazing writer. literally my only complaint is to ask why you don't write more like seriously you have an amazing way with words and i was so surprised when i finished so quickly because i was just too enraptured in ur writing to even stop.

i genuinely had no idea what this fic was going to be about. i thought it was going to be kinda like deja vu or something but ITS NOT!! this concept is so cool i hope u can expand upon it more or maybe write about those memories leading up to the accident more in depth because i love the concept.

the first scene!!!! i could sense how awkward and confused yh was like i don't have any specific examples of ur writing that portrayed that emotion but somehow i had second hand embarrassment for yh like damn just drink the tea.

“Indeed I am,” she stood up and walked around the room, looking around, leaving Younghoon confused from behind her. She paused in her footsteps as she looked at a small painting of a water fountain. After some thought, she looked back at Younghoon with a sigh. “You’ve been brought back to me, so I could help you fix your mistake, and find your soulmate.”

i love this paragraph. it's so thoughtful i love the little detail you added with the painting it really brings everything together.

the second scene is so well written because you describe every emotion and action. like usually x reader fics are from your perspective or the love interest's perspective but your writing made it feel like an outside perspective almost. ALSO WHY DIDNT MRS.LEE'S KIDS HELP HER?????? pissed me off a little bit but i suppose that's why i helped her as the reader.

With a small nod you replied, too tired to speak, watching her stand out of the storage room and walk off. As soon as you were sure that she was out of your eye sight, you collapsed. Younghoon attempted to catch you but ended up falling with you as he realized that his hand went right through you. His eyes studied your lips as they parted, trying to make the breathing process a bit easier for yourself. 

YOUNGHOON I WILL HOLD UR GHOST HAND. no but this paragraph is so beautiful i feel like it competely changes the tone of the scene.

He looked back into your eyes that were staring at whatever was behind him, and slowly but shakingly tried to place your hand beside your cheek, caressing it softly and ignoring the times his hand went through you. 

WHY AM I ABT TO CRY LET ME HOLD UR HAND

Younghoon watches the friend walks to their class with a tinge of jealousy in his eyes, he then looks back at you and raises his eyebrows when he sees you reading from your phone. He walks over to your side and reads the email that the teacher has sent, explaining the assignment. 

went from crying to blushing i remember becoming so invested here like are we abt to kiss rn

Younghoon watched you with a bitter smile on his face, finding it quite bittersweet. With each memory he learns more and more about your kind heart.

i feel like i started to gain sense of what actually happened here when i was reading (bc ik what happened since i finished) but idk how u did it i love these two sentences.

Younghoon turned his attention from the walls onto you, who’s crouched down and petting the cats as they eat the food that you put down for them. He walks over and crouches down as well, the smile on his face blooms as he looks at your face. He wonders if he’s ever paid attention to these special facial features on your face before. 

THE WAY I STARTED FANNING MYSELF?@#$%^& HE WANTS ME

He looks back at you and feels his cheek go warm as a pretty pink settles over his face. Younghoon definitely knows what his favorite memory is now.

HIS FAVORITE MEMORY?? HE'S BLUSHING?? don't speak to me anymore.

ok had to take a little 5 min break cause my mom called me but im back

HYUNJIN!!!!!!! i choose you.

“That’s great to hear,” Younghoon snaps his head in horror as he looks at himself, sitting in his respective seat. Memory Younghoon flashes a smile while you shyly look away and back at Hyunjin, continuing the conversation.

memory younghoon being ten times hotter my god i felt butterflies

Younghoon stares at your face as you continue on talking, but your voice has been blocked out from his mind. The only thing he could focus on was you, and nothing else around him. He was in shock, he couldn’t form a sound and felt like everything surrounding him was going in slow motion. 

He snapped and was brought back to reality as soon as he noticed everything around him fade, his panic began to settle in as he ran towards you and tried catching your attention. He yelled and called out your name multiple times, but to no avail, no response was said from you.

Before the bright light engulfed his vision, he screamed at the top of his lungs and declared that his soulmate was you, Y/N L/N, all along. He wished in the couple of seconds that he had left that he would be given more time with you, not in memories, but in real time. 

the best part in the fic. hands down. like i dont even have words to say because it's so good. like this is what i mean about being able to read ur writing all day

HYUNJIN 😊😊😊😊 me being excited for hyunjin's appearance more than younghoon's says something.

“Hi soulmate,” with simple words that came from his mouth, all hell broke loose in your mind. 

i would've fainted ngl

His smile stretched wider, Younghoon thinks to himself and decides that he had lied before, this is definitely his new favorite memory. However, he wonders. He wonders if this favorite memory would ever change, as he knows for a fact that both of your lives have now merged, creating a new future full of memories that include the both of you— together, as you two should be.

XAN YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME NOP NO MORE 🙅‍♀️

overall i really enjoyed it (as you can tell) i think you deserve this video in return. please write more i need to read it actually reading ur writing is not enough i need to breathe it.

FIVE MEMORIES OF REALIZATION.

❛ i had one purpose, and the purpose was to realize that that incident was the greatest mistake i have ever made in my entire life. ❜

❥ summary: an angel has granted younghoon one more chance to save his friend, and to fix the worst mistake he has ever done in his entire life—which was completely accidental. ❥ pairing: kim younghoon x gn!reader (ft. kim hyunjin of loona!) ❥ warnings: brief mention of death & vague car accident & a description of drowning, lots of swearing in the first part my bad. not medically accurate, i am not a doctor! ❥ genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, soulmate au, life and death? ❥ word count: 3.3k (3,392 words) ❥ a/n: & here it is! finally back from my hiatus. i hope everyone enjoys this piece as much as i enjoyed writing it, i know maya has been waiting for this to drop as soon as i posted the teaser for it (hi maya hope u like this <33) also, apologies for the last part if it was kinda inaccurate (medically wise lol) already put it in the warning but this is what i was able to write with minimal research.

permanent taglist: @kimsohn @seung-scrittore @jangwonie (send an ask to be added or removed!

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YOUNGHOON WAS FUCKED FOR SURE.

He couldn't remember anything for shit, and oh the headache he was having right now was the worst. He couldn't even see anything, even though he had his eyes open, and could feel the movement of them opening and closing as he panicked, all he saw was a color darker than the black he knew. He couldn't feel his body on a surface, it's like he was floating.

He figured this was a dream of some sort, but was starting to panic even more as he faded into sleep. His body felt weak. And then, he finally drifted off.

Only a few seconds later, he jolted awake suddenly, trying to regain his breath while desperately practicing any type of breathing exercise that came to his mind. He felt like he was drowning for a full second, hopelessly trying to reach the shore above. But there was no shore in Younghoon’s case, in fact, he had no clue where the hell he was.

He was in a white room, like—completely white. Everything there was white, the bed he was laying on, the chairs around, the tables and—wait, who is that?

There walked in a woman, everything she wore was also white, she had beautiful long and curly brown hair, thick eyebrows with long eyelashes to compliment her look. Younghoon thought she looked beautiful, if he had to say so himself.

She then laughed, “why thank you.”

Younghoon’s eyes widened in shock, did he really say that out loud? He just embarrassed himself before proper introduction.

“No, you didn’t.” The woman responded. She walked into a part of the room that looked like the kitchen, not different to any of the other rooms as it was also white. She poured some water into her cup and used a spoon to mix the solution. “Tea?”

“Um,” Younghoon by now had already guessed that she could read his mind, so he tried his best to keep his thoughts silent. “No thanks.”

“Hm, shame.” She held her white up and walked towards Younghoon, sitting comfortably on the sofa in front of him. 

“Are you an Angel?” Younghoon asked bluntly, not knowing where his sudden confidence came from. He didn’t care though, he did almost die a few moments ago. At this point, he was gonna take any type of risk without rethinking the consequences that would take place.

“Well,” she responded while laughing, “you could say that I am sort of an angel I suppose.”

“So,” Younghoon awkwardly shifted on his bed, looking around the white room for a second inspection then finally settling his eyes on the woman in front of him once more. “I’m in heaven?”

“No, you’re not.” Before Younghoon could panic, she continued. “At least not yet.”

Obviously, that did not help with calming down Younghoon. “What the hell do you mean by not yet?”

“It is as simple as you hear it Mr. Kim,” she addresses him formally which makes the situation even more awkward, at least that’s what Younghoon thinks. But that doesn’t matter now, what matters is that he doesn't know where he is, hell he might even die in a few seconds, depending on what the lady in front of him decides to do. 

“Oh, but it’s not my decision to let you die or not,” she smiles with what seems to be an attempt at a comforting smile, yet it still didn’t help Younghoon feel any better. “Believe it or not, it is yours.”

“This has to be a dream of some sort,” Younghoon curls his body up and puts his head into his hands, “you have to be fucking with me.”

“Unfortunately I am not, I can assure you that this is very much real.” She sighs before placing her cup of tea on the small table in front of her, completely ignoring the fact that he had just swore in the presence of an angel, her. “The car accident that you’ve been in a few hours ago was caused by you, and since it was ruled as an accident, you have a chance to fix your mistake. Right here, right now.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not following,” Younghoon shook his head, “I’m not even supposed to be here, I’m supposed to either die or come back alive, I don’t know! You’re the angel here.”

“Indeed I am,” she stood up and walked around the room, looking around, leaving Younghoon confused from behind her. She paused in her footsteps as she looked at a small painting of a water fountain. After some thought, she looked back at Younghoon with a sigh. “You’ve been brought back to me, so I could help you fix your mistake, and find your soulmate.”

“My soulmate is already dead.” Younghoon angrily spoke up at the mention of a soulmate, “I’ve given up already, can we let that go?”

“I’m afraid we cannot,” she smiled warmly and walked towards him, pointing her finger to his face. “I advise you to close your eyes Mr. Kim.”

Younghoon didn’t have time to react as a bright light engulfed and took over his vision completely.

FIRST MEMORY.

Younghoon slowly uncovered his eyes when he realized he couldn’t hear anything. He blinked a couple of times as he tried to regain his already gained vision. Rubbing his eyes with a sigh he quietly stood up and scanned the place around him, he looked like he was in a backroom of some sort–a storage room. There were boxes all around him, before he could even reach the boxes and uncover whatever laid under, a voice interrupted his actions.

That voice was yours.

His head whipped around for his eyes to slowly rest on your figure. You were holding two large boxes that looked quite heavy. He knew you tried to hide it, but it was pretty obvious from the facial expression on your face that you were exhausted. You placed the box on the ground and gently laid your head on a stack of boxes that reached your height. You quickly regained your composure a few seconds later as a voice called your name.

There came out of the dark an older woman, who looked to be in her 70s, walking towards you with a limp in her walk and a small smile on her face. She held your face in her hands and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Thank you so much for helping me out child,” she took your hand and faced your palm towards the direction of the ceiling, placing a couple of coins in your hand before closing it into a fist. 

“Mrs. Lee, I’m fine really, I just wanted to help—” you attempted to persuade her, but she shook her head with a smile.

“You were the only one who helped,” she replied with the smile still on her face, although it was slowly turning into a bittersweet one. “You’re not related to me in blood, unlike my children, yet you still wanted to help.”

Her small whisper broke Younghoon’s heart, he couldn’t understand how they wouldn’t help her with such simple tasks, leaving their mother all alone in her lonely place.

She removed her hand from yours and sighed, “you could wait with me until I close up, if you wish to stay for some tea with me. Although, you are of course free to leave as always.”

You nodded tiredly as a smile formed on your face, matching the one on Mrs. Lee’s face, “I’d love to have some tea with you.”

“That’s great!” She exclaimed, very excited to talk with you later. “I will be working on the cashier, you rest here for a bit.”

With a small nod you replied, too tired to speak, watching her stand out of the storage room and walk off. As soon as you were sure that she was out of your eye sight, you collapsed. Younghoon attempted to catch you but ended up falling with you as he realized that his hand went right through you. His eyes studied your lips as they parted, trying to make the breathing process a bit easier for yourself. 

He looked back into your eyes that were staring at whatever was behind him, and slowly but shakingly tried to place your hand beside your cheek, caressing it softly and ignoring the times his hand went through you. 

Younghoon sighed as the place started to slowly fade, as well as everything in front of him.

SECOND MEMORY.

Younghoon’s eyes land on the students that walk around him, not paying attention to him. Of course, he isn’t surprised by that fact. He already has accepted that he is somehow invincible, stuck in his memories filled by you. Why you?

He questions where you are in the groups of students when a voice from behind him catches his attention. 

“I don’t think I will ever understand any homework that she assigns, I swear!”

You laugh at their comment and walk beside them, following their pace. “It’s not that bad really, maybe you just hate the professor.”

“Or maybe you’re just too good at this subject!” They exclaim at your reply of defense, “you’re like the top student in her class.”

“I guess I just understand everything that she says easily,” you shrugged your shoulders and paused your walking to face your friend, once you realized you reached their class. “Or maybe it’s because I grew up with my family’s obsession with this whole major, I guess.”

Your friend rolled their eyes at your explanation that they had already heard, from all the times that you have told them and your other friends of small bits of your childhood in nostalgic conversations. Before they could speak, you cut them off with a quick offer. “If you want, I could help you like always.”

“Oh my god yes!” Your friend accepts with a smile as they squish you with a tight yet friendly hug. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s no problem really,” you break the contact and look back at them with the same smile, “see you later?”

“I’ll see you after my class, thank you again!”

Younghoon watches the friend walks to their class with a tinge of jealousy in his eyes, he then looks back at you and raises his eyebrows when he sees you reading from your phone. He walks over to your side and reads the email that the teacher has sent, explaining the assignment. 

Now that you have— not one, but two assignments to work on for your class, you are definitely going to be busier than usual today. Younghoon wishes that he could help you, but knows he is incapable of doing anything currently.

He sighs sadly.

THIRD MEMORY.

Younghoon finds himself in a place full of crowded people yet again, though he’s not in his school’s campus, but a busy street. He is specifically in front of a random charity store. 

He feels himself slowly becoming disappointed when he notices everyone ignoring the store and going their way, realizing that the store had been empty for a while.

Just as he had been wishing, you finally walked by him. Your steps suddenly pause, as well as Younghoon who was planning to follow you and walk by your side. He watches you walk towards the shop with a worried look in your eyes, he could tell you were contemplating whether or not to get inside and donate.

With only a small amount of money in your wallet, you head into the store with an optimistic smile. Greeting the person behind the counter kindly and handing the money they had.

Younghoon watched you with a bitter smile on his face, finding it quite bittersweet. With each memory he learns more and more about your kind heart.

FOURTH MEMORY.

“Huh?” Younghoon whispers to himself as he scans the place around him, he finds the place familiar, as if he had been in it before. The brick walls of the alleyway cover him. 

“Aww, hello there,” you coo at the kittens and the mom that were excited at the smell of food, the cat food that you bought from the pet shop down the street. “Oh, aren’t you all so cute?”

He realizes from the familiar clothes that you wore, that this memory might have been made on the same day as the charity place memory.

Younghoon turned his attention from the walls onto you, who’s crouched down and petting the cats as they eat the food that you put down for them. He walks over and crouches down as well, the smile on his face blooms as he looks at your face. He wonders if he’s ever paid attention to these special facial features on your face before.  

His attention goes back to the cats in front of him. He attempts to pet them but his hands go through them obviously, yet he still pretends as if he’s petting them normally. The cat meows at him and he pauses in response, feeling surprised at the cat feeling his presence, if not even being touched by him.

He looks back at you and feels his cheek go warm as a pretty pink settles over his face. Younghoon definitely knows what his favorite memory is now.

FIFTH MEMORY.

“The flower shop, aye?” Hyunjin asks you. 

“Well, yeah I guess,” you giggle in reply, “Mrs. Lee needed some help and I offered to help around the store here and there. I also go there sometimes to just talk with her, she’s become a great friend.”

“That’s great to hear,” Younghoon snaps his head in horror as he looks at himself, sitting in his respective seat. Memory Younghoon flashes a smile while you shyly look away and back at Hyunjin, continuing the conversation.

He remembers this memory clearly, as he had been in that position before, sitting in a coffee shop with his friends, chatting about anything and everything. You were there too, which makes sense why he was viewing this memory.

Younghoon, though, was now even more confused than he was before, the lady in the white room never explained that this could be possible. But, he guesses that anything could be possible when some sort of angel is involved.

The conversation continues and eventually comes to an end, everybody packs up their stuff and leaves— including Memory Younghoon. Out of everybody, only you and Hyunjin stay.

“When are you going to tell him?”

You choke on your drink, and Younghoon raises his eyebrows in confusion, while looking back and forth at the two of you. “Tell who?” You ask and act clueless, as if you don’t know what she’s talking about.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about Y/N,” she leaned in closer and crossed her arms. She whispers angrily, "when are you going to stop ignoring those dreams? I’ve been telling you that the only possible way to end the dreams might be just to tell him about them.”

“I don’t know,” you put your cup down and bite your lip anxiously, “I can’t just walk up to him randomly and be like ‘oh hey, I’m your soulmate, by the way,’ especially after—”

“Exactly!” Hyunjin cuts you off and leans back with a scoff, “that's exactly why he deserves to know. After Younghoon has told us that there's no chance that he has a soulmate, you could change that completely. His soulmate— is you.”

Younghoon stares at your face as you continue on talking, but your voice has been blocked out from his mind. The only thing he could focus on was you, and nothing else around him. He was in shock, he couldn’t form a sound and felt like everything surrounding him was going in slow motion. 

He snapped and was brought back to reality as soon as he noticed everything around him fade, his panic began to settle in as he ran towards you and tried catching your attention. He yelled and called out your name multiple times, but to no avail, no response was said from you.

Before the bright light engulfed his vision, he screamed at the top of his lungs and declared that his soulmate was you, Y/N L/N, all along. He wished in the couple of seconds that he had left that he would be given more time with you, not in memories, but in real time. 

Younghoon’s eyes open and he stares back at the white ceiling that greeted him, panic engulfs him as he begins to think that he failed, and was sent back to the angel and the white room that he awoke in before. 

He sits up with sudden energy, and then the pain finally takes in. He shouts in pain and holds his head in both hands, breathing quick as he tries to regain his vision and focus on the furniture that is placed in front of his bed. His screams and shouts catch the attention of nurses outside the room, and as the nurses surround him with quick moves, he is brought back to unconsciousness yet again.

He wakes up a few hours later, and the headache greets him as soon as he opens his eyes, he groans and sits up— slower than last time. Younghoon looks around the room and is surprised to see a nurse there too, organizing some things in the corner. 

“Excuse me?” Younghoon speaks up.

“Yes?” The nurse replies and turns around to face him, “do you need anything?”

“Oh no,” Younghoon shakes his head then clears his throat, “just, how long have I been here?”

“About two weeks,” the nurse replies with a warm and professional smile on his face.

“The two people that were with me that day, are they okay?” Younghoon asks with worry in his voice, hoping nothing that he didn’t want to happen comes out of the nurse’s mouth. 

“Yes, they are,” he responds with the same positive energy. “Fortunately, the accident injured one and almost killed the other, but they are alive, thankfully.”

“Oh,” Younghoon couldn’t explain how relieved he felt at that moment, “thank you so much.”

“It’s no problem.”

Later that day, after laying in his bed and doing nothing but eating, he is notified that he has a visitor. He looks at the door expecting some of his family members to walk in, but is surprised to see Hyunjin walk in with a bouquet of flowers.

“Hi Younghoon,” Hyunjin places the bouquet beside him on the table and sits on the chair beside the bed. “Very good to see you alive and well.”

“Hyunjin,” he stares at her with his mouth open, unsure if he wants to tell her or not. Hyunjin tilts her head and waits for him to talk, and Younghoon talks. “I know that Y/N is my soulmate.”

Her jaw drops and the two of them sit in silence, with Hyunjin confused as ever at what she had just heard.

A week later, Younghoon had regained most control over his body, and was granted permission to visit his friends, and he knew exactly who he would visit first. He stared at the door of your room with contemplated thoughts, then finally pushed the door open and walked in. 

He closed the door behind him and looked at your surprised face, surprised that he would visit you at such a time. Before you could ask him how he was, he cuts you off with a small greeting.

“Hi soulmate,” with simple words that came from his mouth, all hell broke loose in your mind. 

Your jaw dropped at his words, similar to Hyunjin’s reaction from before, making him chuckle quietly. He watched as you looked at him with shock, stunned and dazed to the point where you couldn’t move, unable to think. You couldn’t process or think of a way of how he found out the truth. 

His smile stretched wider, Younghoon thinks to himself and decides that he had lied before, this is definitely his new favorite memory. However, he wonders. He wonders if this favorite memory would ever change, as he knows for a fact that both of your lives have now merged, creating a new future full of memories that include the both of you— together, as you two should be.

Memories that will definitely be more than five this time.

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

[rebclheartsarchive]

god my ass is so pumped for modern au event, y’all have nO IDEA. this is gonna be so exciting agshdhkgakjfdshjaf. anyway, here’s a quick rundown of all my babies in the au world. also a psa that i’m gonna keep mica while the event is on and then once it’s done he’s getting officially retired.

cordelia

so my girl had a shitty upbringing. she grew up with an abusive father and her mama died when she was young after giving birth to her youngest sister. she got her justice tho bc she fuckin deserves it and got him thrown in jail for his abuse. after that her little sisters and her went to live with her aunt and she’d just turned eighteen and it was kinda the first time she didn’t really have the responsibility of taking care of her sisters? she could start focusing on herself and she started going to therapy, started actually healing. delia also got really interested in law and ended up being accepted into oxford. her twenties was basically spent studying and being vocal in class and spending her nights in clubs and waking up with Regrets. was hired by a hot shot law firm straight out of oxford and she honestly became such a fucking asset to them. delia was made to argue with old white men in court and fight for justice. mainly takes on cases defending victims of sexual assault and domestic abuse, but tbh she’ll take on any case as long as she believes her client to be innocent. she doesn’t do guilty. she’s actually won most of her cases and is arguably the best lawyer at her firm. lowkey imagine that she makes a shit ton from her cases but she isn’t really materialistic?? mainly buys nice clothes to wear to court and work, but otherwise she saves her money.

delia’s aesthetic is definitely tight pencil skirts, blouses and high heel. also rarely seen without red lipstick. which is a funny contrast bc her at home is casual af with a messy bun. this bitch honestly lives on coffee and whiskey, loves visiting her favourite pub with her best friend. personality wise, she’s a bit more open than she is normally? like she doesn’t care if people know she’s having a shitty day and she opens up to the people she cares about with more ease. she went through a shit ton of therapy and still goes to sessions every now and then tbh to keep herself moving forward. she is defs more stubborn tho, also more sarcastic and takes zero shit. will 10/10 call you out on your bs. she also recently married her best friend’s cousin and she’s happier than she’s ever been. is in a v happy newlywed bubble rn and she’s kinda juggling the idea of starting to have kids. she so wants to be a mom, but she also doesn’t want to give up her career to do it and she wants to enjoy being married first.

lukas

my boy lukas had a pretty happy childhood? his parents were always lovely and  got along with almost all his siblings really well, so his childhood was p simple. he was one of those jocks in high school that was really popular but also really nice. also such a nerd for science.  such an english and history nerd honestly my god. spent so much of his time writing stories and reading poetry, was such a nerd. was also kinda a fuckboi tbh. he slept around a lot and went to a lot of parties, wasn’t really thinking a whole lot about anything after high school at that point. he went to uni to become an english teacher after high school and then boom, simple life came to an end when his dad got shot dead. the loss really devastated him and it kinda changed his perspective on his life. he wanted to do something more meaningful than that, so he actually dropped out of uni to join the police force, mainly bc his dad’s killer never got caught. kinda started as a vengeance thing mixed with wanting to protect people. rose in the ranks over the years to chief superintendent and he’s hoping to end up as commissioner one day. he’s also a little bit shady?? kinda uses his position in the force to keep his father’s case open and keeps looking into it, he just can’t let it go.

when he’s not in uniform, his style kinda is just whether his clothes are clean or not. wears a lot of jeans and shirts and converse. he’s a pretty chill dude most of the time, fairly patient kinda dude but once you get on his nerves you’re kinda there forever. can definitely hold a grudge, tho he avoids conflict like it’s the damn plague. is kinda a single dad atm, is separated from his wife and only really sees her when he’s picking up his son. . is currently having a mid life crisis because of all the shit going on with sabinah, definitely has started listening to more bruce springstein than normal. can also be found sitting in parks writing poetry when he has spare time bc he is such a Nerd .

violeta

y’all know that violeta couldn’t be anything but a stone cold bitch even in au. she’s a fucking trust fund baby tbh, her parents own a multi-million dollar oil company that originated in spain. she lived there for most of her life before papa and mama delgado moved the family to london to broaden business opportunities. violeta was highkey Bitter about the move bc she loved spain and didn’t really want to restart her life. honestly toughened her up a bit tho and she was pretty popular at school? lowkey became a bitchy queen bee, won prom queen, was on a million committees bc she loves bossing people around. her parents put a lot of pressure on her to be perfect, hence her being a major over achiever. this also played into when she got a little older and went into the family business. her parents always wanted one of the kids to take over for them and considering vi always idolized her dad, she wanted to be the first choice. she got a business degree and aced all her classes while she made her way up in the company, eventually ending up second in command. papa delgado basically started grooming her to take over and then when he got sick, he promoted her to ceo, bitch.

in modern au she’s less on the cold side, and more on the bitchy side. she has a high opinion of herself and her worth, honestly that line from that ariana grande song “but something just keeps telling me i’m better than the rest”. also major fallon carrington vibes. highkey wears power suits and dresses and heels, probs always wears sunglasses so people don’t see her rolling her eyes every five seconds. hates most people unless she considers them intelligent. also has no issue with the fact that she’s. basically. poisoning the environmwnt bc she cares more about money asdfghj. which is funny that she ended up married to a guy who loves the environment and nature and they now have a newborn daughter.

michel

used to be such a sunshine child. he was always really quiet as a kid and often either had his nose in a book or was doing craft by himself. was always such a loner nerd, probs got teased a lot in school for it. also has always been pretty reactive, so once someone pissed him off you can bet that he started swinging. he always kinda just kept to himself and cruised his way through school, graduated and didn’t really know what to do with his life from there. he did know though that he wanted to join the army. he looked up to his brother a lot and thought dedicated some of his life to helping others was a good idea, so he spent two years in afghanistan. he came home by choice after realizing that war was not at all what he thought it would be. he had some major ptsd after some of the shit he saw and did and had a really hard time assimilating back into everyday life. goes to tomas’ meetings and that’s how they met. also goes to therapy and actually talks about his shit? probs took him like two years to actually open up about anything, but anyway. also enrolled in art school bc he wants to be a painter, works a shitty job to pay the rent on the apartment he and anton live in.

his aesthetic is literally just black jeans, white t-shirt, leather jacket and boots on repeat, i swear this boy owns nothing else and is so fucking minimalist. he’s forever got paint stains on various parts of his body bc he’s always painting. he’s a p quiet guy, doesn’t really talk a lot, kinda hates most people aside from his boyfriend and his family. he lives on black coffee, smokes way too much and rides a motorbike bc he is a thrill seeker okay. also red wine is his Religion, but he drinks vodka when he’s out. he lives on ramen noodles bc he can only really cook like, two meals, it’s obvs that anton does most of the cooking in their house. is also the dad of a black cat named yoda bc you can’t be a gay art hoe without a cat. he and anton have been together for like, 4/5 years now? both of them are broke ass bitches bc they just had to be artistic. also mica has been keeping a wedding ring in the back of his sock drawer for like a month now and is trying to find the right time to propose.

and yah, those are my kids! this got really long and rambly, i’m so sorry and if you read this i love you. also feel free to like this and i’ll slide into your ims for some plotting!

[grapefruitguan-blog]

Fight!AU (Park Woojin)

- woojin was preparing for his comeback

- and they were asking a lot of time from him

- so he was coming home rlly late and leaving rlly early in the morning

- and you were supportive n he was really appreciative

- but it happened for about two weeks

- two weeks of you making dinner and watching it get cold and waking up to him and a quick kiss saying he loves you but he’s gotta go

- but you had ur last straw when he didn’t even come home on your birthday

- he actually forgot

- this time you didn’t fall asleep

- bc woojin promised to spend the day with you

- you were actually heartbroken

- he came back at 1:30 am rlly surprised you were up

- he had a terrible day daniel n the others couldn’t get the choreo down and the producer blamed him

- “babe? shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

- you didn’t answer him

- and had a small bitter smile

- “yeah. i should be. i shouldn’t have waited for you.”

- now woojin never ever snaps

- but today he was in the worst mood

- ever

- “jeez, what’s with you today?”

- and now you snapped

- “woojin, you should know what’s up with me today i’ve waited for you for now two weeks every single fucking day”

- “babe i know i’m sorry it’s just they’ve wanted a lot out of us-“

- “yeah. you want a lot of of me to wait for you. i know that. what do you think i have done?”

- “y/n i know it’s just the fans-“

- “it’s always the fans woojin, always.”

- “because they care about us. we just won at mama i don’t want to lose that streak. why can’t you understand that?”

- “woojin. i’ve been the most fucking understanding of that. i didn’t question you for shit about scandals when i sure could’ve and i always helped you when you felt stressed-“

- “people care about us, y/n. we have fans. they’re there for us.”

- oh god woojin really fucked it up now

- a small silence occurred when woojin’s eyes widened with what he said

- “babe-“

- “save it woojin.”

- “no i didn’t mean-“

- “no, i get it. i don’t have fans because i’m not an idol, so i wouldn’t get it. people care about you and the boys and not really about me. hell, they want me gone since i’m dating their bias. go date fucking lisa from blackpink or something, then!”

- “no that isn’t-“

- “save it. i’m leaving. maybe you’ll someday realize why i’m so fucking pissed after waiting for you for so damn long.”

- you walk out and slam the door

- “fine be that way!” yelled woojin

- he went to your guys’ now empty bed angry as hell

- he almost threw the picture of you two on the ground but hesitated

- you drove over to your bff’s house and slept for the night

- in the morning woojin went to practice

- and he was on snapchat

- and noticed your streak had an hourglass

- he sent you a black screen and you instantly left him on open

- he groaned

- and rolled his eyes

- and he was viewing his stories and saw daehwi’s

- it was a selfie

- “happy late birthday y/n!!!”

- woojin dropped

- wait

- it was your birthday yesterday???

- holy fuck he promised to spend the day with you

- he didn’t even get you an xmas gift cause you said that’s all you wanted

- holy fuck

- he stormed into practice

- “daehwi!!!!”

- daehwi was eating a croissant

- “woojin!!! you almost made me drop my croissant!!!”

- “dumbass bitch!!! why didn’t you tell me it was my gf’s birthday yesterday!!!!!”

- “woojin sweetie you were supposed to know this”

- “i remembered!” piped daniel holding his story too

- “shut up mr center i hope your cats die”

- “heY”

- jisung aka mom runs over

- “dUmbAsS KIDS STOP FIGHTING”

- daehwi rubbed his temples

- “y/n is soooo mad at you woojin”

- “she’s so supportive of your snaggletooth headass and you don’t see that”

- “hIs EYES ARE TOO SMALL TO SEE THAT”

- “shUT UP ONG NOBODY CARES MR I’M-28-TRYING-TO-DEBUT”

- “shUT UP YOU MAKNAE I WAS Y/N’S BIAS NOT YOURS”

- jisung blows the whistle n stops ong and woojin from fighting

- “DuMBASS WOOJIN for foRGETTING Y/N’s BDAY I’M NOT MAKING YOU FUCKIN RAMEN FOR A MONTH”

- jisung sighed

- “y/n rlly never let you see her frustrated bc you’d come home late as hell n she would always rant to me and daehwi about it and she went to (bff)’s house all night and cried”

- “how was i supposed to know!!!”

- “duMBASS biTCH I am Her SECOND COUSIN and you arE HER bOyfrieND anD I COULD TELL SHE WAS UNhAPPY BUT you COULDN’T????”

- “he has a point snaggletooth headass”

- “shut up four foot chode nobody cares sungwoon”

- “LISTEN BO-“

- “gUys shUT UP” yelled jisung

- “woojin go make up with her your dumbass fucKED UP”

- “big time!” chorused daniel holding his two cats

- woojin facepalmed

- “guys what the hell do i do i rlly did fuck up i was just so caught up on the choreo-“

- “dumbass dance machine”

- “shUT UP CAT PEDOPHILE I’M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT”

- jisung blows his mom whistle again

- “gUYS ENOUGH FIGHTING”

- “luckily bc i’m so old and wise i have a damn plan”

- so all 11 boys shut up and crowd around

- “here’s what we are finna do bitches”

- “jisung sweetie pls don’t say finna it’s improper”

- “sorry minhyun”

- you’re at your bff’s house

- you were throwing dart’s at a pic of woojin

- until she knocks on ur door

- “hey y/n someone’s here to see you”

- “if it’s woojin i swear to-“

- “oH HI DAEHWI”

- “HI BESTIE IM HERE BITCH I GOT YOU STUFF FOR YOUR BDAY”

- “aw THANKS BITCH I SAW YOUR STORY”

- “yeAh SORRY BITCH I WAS AT PRACTICE AKDJKSD I PROMISE WE CAN EAT CHICKEN N WAFFLES SOON THO”

- “david lee ur so white”

- “i was born in LA headass”

- daehwi hands you a wrapped gift

- you coo

- “YOU REALLY ARE MY BESTIE”

- bff walks in

- “wtf y/n who’s house are you in”

- “lOVE YOU TOO (BFF’s NAME)”

- daehwi clears throat

- “anyways so”

- “get dressed”

- “we’re hanging out”

- “stop simping over the snaggletooth headass”

- “i wAS NO-“

- “bitch shut up ur listening to butterfly and spring day by bts and you’re really telling me you aren’t simping????”

- ok daehwi got you there

- so you kicked him outta ur friend’s room

- and you get dressed

- no details bc this isn’t smut

- yET

- hAHAHAHA

- anyways after twenty minutes you step out

- daehwi huffs

- “see this hair? i didn’t dye it white. it turned white waiting for your slowpoke ass”

- “shut up daehwi last time i checked i waited for you for two hours when you bumped into iu”

- “iU nOONA IS mOre IMPoRTANT”

- anyways

- daehwi flashes his signature grin

- “oK go to the living room”

- “daehwi i thought we were going out??”

- “yes going out of the room duh”

- “yOU lITTLE SHIT YOU MADE ME PUT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING WHEN IM STAYING INSIDE???”

- “y/n if you think i have money to treat you out for a day you really must be tripping”

- “daehwi stfu you deadass have tons of money after debuting don’t play with me”

- daehwi shoves you into the room anyways

- and your jaws drop

- and there you see the living room decorated

- with your favorite foods on the coffee table

- and presents

- and a chocolate cake

- and the other boys there

- besides woojin

- so daniel’s cats could be at ur bday and not your boyfriend? ok

- “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N”

- “we’re really sorry we couldn’t celebrate with you on your actual birthday so we tried to make up for it” smiles jisung

- you almost broke down in tears

- because THAT IS SO SWEET

- “aw thanks guys i love you so much”

- “even if woojin hates me enough to not even want to celebrate my bday LOL it’s okay.”

- guanlin awkwardly coughed

- “uh look behind you”

- lo and behold

- park woojin is behind you holding 10 bouquets of red roses

- bby boy is almost falling bc he carried all of them

- you’re kind of taken aback

- because who wouldn’t be??

- “i’m sorry that i couldn’t wish you happy birthday with them i had to run to like five florists cause turns out everyone ran out of red roses”

- he hands you one bouquet and other boys scramble to help him

- “i’m really sorry that i fucked up and forgot that it was your birthday it was honestly such a dick move of me-“

- “HE ALSO CALLED ME A FOUR FOOT CHODE”

- “shUT UP SUNGWOON”

- “and i really took you for granted and i feel terrible because i need to remember that they’re fans, and though i’m in their hearts..you’re in mine. i’m scared of losing you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i promise i never ever forgot about that”

- “and like roses are what i gave you on our first date and i know they can’t do too much to make you forgive me but i remembered you love them and you honestly deserve the world”

- and woojin has tears in his eyes and takes one hand and tries to wipe his tears and now he’s blubbering

- “i totally understand if you hate me and wanna break up i support your decision either way i’m so so sorry for being such a dick-“

- SEEING WOOJIN BAWL WAS TOO MUCH SO YOU JUST KISSED HIM

- he was shocked at first but he leaned down just a little bit

- “idiot i forgive you”

- “w-wait really”

- “BITCH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REJECT HIM”

- “shUT UP DAEHWI”

- “nO YOU SHUT YOU COYOTE LOOKING ASS I BET $10.00 ON THIS WITH ONG”

- before woojin went to go fight daehwi you laughed

- and he looked at you with a small smile

- ft his little snaggletooth

- and daniel brings out the cake and they start singing

- BUT then woojin’s eyes shoot up

- “wAIT DONT START I FORGOT SOMETHING”

- he hands you the roses and grabs a little box out of his pocket

- “here open it”

- “woojin we’re too young to get married-“

- “nonONONO NOT THAT NOT THAT”

- he turns bright red

- “i-i mean not like i don’t wanna m-marry you i-it’s just”

- you open it

- it’s a promise ring!!! the one that you told woojin how pretty it was two months ago!!!!

- “woojin!!!! this is really expensive you know i was like kidding right!!!!”

- “well like you deserve the world so i’m trying to give it to you”

- “and like it’s my promise to you to never treat you less than perfect”

- “and that i promise to put you before my career”

- all the boys coo

- and daniel is huffing bc the cake is rlly heavy and he wants to goddamn sing already so he can set it down

- so you sing!

- and all is well!

- and woojin puts an arm around your waist and kisses your forehead

- “happy late birthday babe, i love you.”

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode 1: “Why is my tribe all these musty men and Ruthie?” -Ali

-I'm writing this pre-cast reveal and I'm scared shitless. Dear future Jess, Don't puke before tribals because of anxiety. Don't let the m*n tell you what to do. Don't get in your head and trust your gut. Sincerely, Pre-Cast Reveal Jess.

- Now where do I begin.... It's day 2? I believe.... in this game and I've already spiralled and showed the signs of a future crackhead. In all seriousness though, I've calmed down and the initial shock of cast reveal has worn off. I was a bit shook seeing some of the people in this cast playing. I've literally hosted a large chunk of these people so I REALLY HOPE NONE OF THAT COMES TO BITE ME IN THE ASS (I don't think it will). I hope people realize I wasn't really paying close attention to their games when hosting.. and if I was... I have the memory of a pebble. I'm sure none of that will have an impact on anyone besides maybe Ali. BUT ALI IF YOU ARE READING THIS.. DAY 2 JESS REALLY WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU! Now lets talk about my tribe: - We got Rachael/Zach who are super close or at least have some sort of connection through his sister. - We got Birch/Keegan regardless of whatever they are pushing about doubts with each other I can see them cleaning that slat in the name of numbers. - Me and Gavin because I'm the only one he knows in this game. - Possibly me/Timmy if he wants to work with me. - Possibly me/Chips hoping he remembers I did show how blindly loyal I was to him the last game we were in.... - Bodhi might be in with people like Zach (who he was hosting) and Rachael. - John honestly... I have no idea about. He's such a wild card for me. My overall thought process and game plan right now is... BLUID THOSE RELATIONSHIPS! I think I proved with my challenge performance I am an asset to this tribe but I want to show people I can be an asset to them. I can see us swapping at 16 so I'm going to be around this tribe for a bit so I need people to want me around. So far I'm getting along with Keegan he seems like a cool cat. I'm also aware he's probably a cool cat in everyone's eyes but for right now.. I really like him! Birch is definitely a social beast. From what I remembered they were an extremely social player in the season I hosted them but they are very transparent with their information which does scare me. For the time being though, I'll attempt to work my magic with them and build that trust so the information spills to me.. Rachael is a queen. I really want to work with her because I do see similarities between our playing style which is something I always gravitate towards in games. I'm naive and I do know she has other people higher up on that trust-ladder based off of initial relationships but I do hope to somehow climb that. Although I do know she will be a power play in this game, I know I'm going to need other power players around me to ensure there is a target ahead of me. She also brings connections which typically brings in information. So rather than be a crackhead and go for her (which is what cast reveal night Jess thought about) I'm going to try and work with her. Zach.. honestly, I don't know how much I have in common with a teenage boy so that might be a road block between us. He is one of those key-relationships I hope to build off of through Rachael. I will also die if Rachael/Zach aren't that close and I'm just rambling shit right now. Gavin is one of my FIRST ORG friends and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM PLAYING THIS GAME. I don't think anyone right now knows we are close but I'm not afraid to cut him if it means I go further in this game. I'm not really sure about my tribes chances for this first immunity challenge. Everyone aside for a few people on this tribe seem like they have their shit together in this challenge. I know the "movie trivia" crew snapped hard and my back hurts from carrying my tribe but.... our chances of winning rely on Timmy (who is on vacation), Gavin who is probably working or something, and Bodhi who is hosting currently. So to say I'm confident.... would be a giant ass lie. I'm excited for the idol search to open up SO BAD.

-Cast is revealed and game starts in a half hour. I’m feeling excited. I hope I do better in this season than the game I did last, 17th. Ughhhhhh, grosss

- I’m having fun doing the quotes, it’s interesting. I feel like I’m getting along well with everyone. I’m trying to talk to them all and interact. If I’m amusing they won’t get rid of me. Right? Right? Somebody tell me I’m right

-Okay tea time!  I'm really excited. I had to add A LOT of people I have never talked to before and I always like doing that because I LOOOOVE playing with people that don't know how I play and also getting to know clean people and starting with a clean slate! The only people I had added on my tribe are Jay and Ali and I LIKE that!   I'm excited to talk to people, scope everyone out a little and see what I need to do.  This game and the theming is SO CUTE and I can't wait to see what all happens next!

- https://youtu.be/MY-s5k1n7sI

why is my tribe all these musty men and ruthie what did i do to deserve this.

https://youtu.be/LPxSC_ZjZIc

https://youtu.be/ojw9T8GsbaA

-That 36 person cast twist not being real...big disappointment, I was hoping for a huge mess where someone cries. But 20 people, good size. My tribe seems like good people so this should be exciting.

- So we lost the first immunity challenge. Seems like it’s unanimous for John to go. Works for me as he is who I wanted out when I woke up this morning since we hadn’t spoken. He keeps saying he wants someone who was weak in the challenge out and didn’t tell me a name but told Rachel, Bodhi. Funny thing is, John did worse in his challenge than anyone in the quotes group so therefore his own logic can be used against him.

-AHHHHHHHHHHH MY PEOPLE ARE HERE I DON"T KNOW WHO I WANNA WORK WITH. There is king ali, my bae Austin, bestie jay, and really old time friend Collin in this one tribe. I'm not even counting people on the other tribe. I'm gonna lose so hard. I'm crying tho

-When I was meeting my tribe for the first time I was thinking that we have a very good group here. I'm glad to see Bodhi again cuz I haven't seen him since Trinity: P&P a few months ago. I think that with the additions of Birch and Keegan to our tribe I think we're gonna win some challenges. So I'm hoping for the best and not the worst for this team.

- So we're all waiting for the results of the 1st challenge, and I'm feeling a little nervous that my tribe may lose, but I'm hoping that we do win because I want this season to start off on a good note for my tribe. I'm just hoping that we pull this off and not blow this.

-the way i was offered a final 2 within minutes of joining the tribe chat. hopefully this ages well and you get to see me and bodhi succeed :)

- John is too damn messy and has got to go. PERIODT.

https://youtu.be/L1-ZBhnUQ7U

-I love my Tribe!! I'm super excited to play with Keegan and Timmy again! I'm trying to get closer with everyone else since I haven't played with them before. I'm also kinda nervous for the challenge. I have a weird taste in music so we will see how this goes. I really hope I'm not first boot. I haven't had good placements in my last couple of games, so I'm hoping for better this time! This cast is iconic.

-So my mom got my drunk before the challenge and then tried guilting me into not doing the challenge. we flopped anyway. we are currently pulling ahead in the Movie challenge but it's still early so idk. I really hope we can get the next 2 challenges. I don't wanna be first boot.  

- Ahoy matey! me got cursed t' only talk like a pirate in thar tribe chats n' me alliance chat. So me’m doing dis confession like a pirate. So anyway. me’m in a alliance Wit' Keegan n' Jess. As far as me know our jolly crew only verily talked t' each other. So dis works out. Our jolly crew also lost which SUCKS. me verily hope me’m nay first boot. me might sail after John. All me conversations wit' him be painful. So that’s fun. me like all hands so dis will hard. But let’s see what happens! Birch signing off.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Iq3ANGs8M&feature=youtu.be

- Here’s the Tea Link: https://youtu.be/X3J2e4ffmiY

- https://youtu.be/Q80k6g4QUIk

Kinda bummed the movie challenge didn’t go so well hope we don’t have to go to tribal this early

-Hello hello! I am SO happy to be back in atomic Survivor! I feel like things are off to a really nice start and I'm hoping that will continue. For now I'll do a little assessment of my tribe before we find out results for the first challenge. Ali - I've seen him around in the community a lot for years, im pretty sure I was around when he played his first game. But I don't remember if I've ever had the chance to actually play WITH him. He's such a nice guy I've loved talking with him so far Austin - Lmao the funny thing is I actually talked to him for the first time ever like a week ago. A real lucky break that he and I were both part of this casting twist. We immediately started talking and agreed to look out for each other. Cindi - this is my first time meeting her ever! She seems really rad and we've just been talking about life and tattoos and shit lmao. I can definitely see myself working with her in the future. Collin - y'all I LOVE Collin. I just played with him in Mesopotamia, and even though he voted me out I never had any bitterness towards him cause he's just that nice. He's definitely been the person I've talked to the most so far. We have a lot in common and I really want to trust him. But I am still a bit wary bc of Mesopotamia. Czern - I don't really have a read on him yet. Haven't spoken to him too much. Dan - Same as Czern but I haven't spoken to Dan at all Vi - Vi is such a ray of sunshine, I've loved her ever since I met her in Tashirojima. In fact my biggest mistake in that game IMO was voting her out. I'm 100% working with her this time. Ruthie - It's been so long since I've talked to Ruthie and I'm so glad that this game gives me the chance to reconnect with her. An absolute legend and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't talked strategy with her yet but that'll come soon lol Timmy - Yo he DESTROYED that music challenge and I'm super grateful for that. I've talked to him a little bit and he's pretty nice but I don't really have any further opinions on him lol

- Reallllly glad we didn't have to go to tribal tonight. I've been really busy today so it would've been a really rough time. But instead I got to enjoy my day, but of course I socialized with my tribe. I feel really close with Collin, Ali, and Ruthie. Granted those are relationships that started outside of this game, but they're relationships nonetheless. I really vibe with Austin too, even though I talk to him a little less, we're bonded through that opening twist. And the best thing is Austin mentioned vibing with all those people + Vi (who's great as well, I just haven't talked any strategy with her yet) so I smell an alliance starting sometime soon. I just feel really well about the start of this game and im hoping it can last.

-First confessional of the season! I debated making a video but then I realized that's a lore more work and harder for me to have actual organized thoughts. Going back to the start of the game: I know RACHAEL, BIRCH, CHIPS, JAY, VI, CINDI, DAN and RUTHIE. The only person I don't know anything about is CZERN. So I've got a pretty stacked cast of people I can potentially work with moving forward. But I currently have three goals for this season: 1. Make the merge or swap so I can play with VI. Even if we don't work together, I'd love to play with her! She rules! 2. Make sure JAY gets voted out before myself. As a fellow winner, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. 3. Make sure DAN gets voted out before myself. He's a sneaky snake and I won't ever trust him after Nova Scotia. First off, I'm in an awesome alliance with BIRCH and JESS. It's only three people so it's not a clear majority but it's a good start. We formed this literally 10 minutes after the challenge had ended. Speaking of the challenge, it was a fun challenge but we did lose. However, JESS, RACHAEL, CHIPS and myself were the only ones who won our portion of the challenge, so I've been subtly hinting that I wouldn't feel right if any of us were voted out. GAVIN told me that TIMMY and BODHI didn't contribute much of anything to their part of the challenge, so that's a possible decision when it comes to this tribal. However, JOHN has been very difficult to have a conversation with and I've been told that him and BODHI won't vote for each other. So right now it's just working with JESS and BIRCH to determine what the best option is moving forward. I'm thinking I can get RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN on board with whatever we decide. Tune in later for some more thoughts.

-I wanna say it’s be super eventful but not really. Just a few small things: CHIPS has been telling everyone everything. He told JOHN he was the vote. He told JESS about the GAVIN thing. He needs to learn to keep things to himself if he doesn’t want to be gone next. JOHN tried throwing ZACH under the bus for not being good in challenges. I had a call with BODHI and apparently ZACH is a comp beast. So that’s not happening. If everything is as planned JOHN should be the unanimous vote. I might throw a stray vote on CHIPS just in case of an idol play but I’m undecided.

So this round I got super close with Austin and Collin, and close with cindi, and okay close with everyone else. I killed it in the music challenge because I  did not feel confident I wouldn’t go home if we lost. I need to tighten my bonds and hopefully make a solid group before the next round. I have no real targets atm but Ruthie and I have yet to speak so that’s awkward. I kinda wish I was on the other tribe because I feel like I’d vibe with them better. I had to make sure I was the first to go into the treehouse because I wanted to be open and transparent about what happens in there and make sure that nobody else got to go in and change what actually happens. I’m very excited for the next few rounds tho!

https://youtu.be/e_oVLgNr4ro

Okay so first round is going pretty good so far . I cant believe they put me on a tribe with vi which is amazing bc ride or die right there. I know ali vi collins and jay are def ppl I wanna work with in this game . I mean my whole tribe is great . Dan I know is a wild card and he seems like he wants to work together but I'm not sure if I can fully trust him since he did vote me out last seasons with telling me a damn thing . Cindi was almost in my duplicity season I'm on production for so I know her a bit as well. I know she would probs go with Rachael at a swap or merge which is dangerous .THANK GOD we won the first immunity and I dont have two sorry about a vote bc if I'm honest it would be HARD to decide on a name . Let's see what happens tho I'm ready to play and ready to win

Honestly it seems pretty slow starting. Just working on getting to know the tribe at this point. I really like Collin and Ali but beyond that I'm not getting like amazing vibes from the others. I'm not getting bad vibes either though, just neutral positive vibes if that makes sense

okay, so i have been focusing on getting to know my tribe-mates the past few days because in this game, connections are your lifeline. but, i also didn't want to come off too strong and be perceived as "too social" from the get-go *cough* keegan the snake *cough*. so, i laid back, talked to people (some more than others), and tried to focus on winning immunity. unfortunately, when immunity slipped through our fingers, i quickly got to work socializing and making sure i wasn't the one to be blamed for our loss in our challenge. i felt that i contributed a lot and tried to start discussions and debate about our quotes, and felt as though i didn't get much back from my team. so, i made sure that people knew my group wasn't very communicative and had they communicated more, we could have totally won. i didn't push for a name to begin the round, but i did make sure to let people know who i hadn't talked to in hopes of getting one of their names on the chopping block this round. i made sure to reach out to everyone (even those who didn't reach out to me or seem invested in the game, nor our conversations) because i don't want someone to spread my name as a result. then, it seemed to narrow down to john and timmy. also, it was obviously leaning towards john leaving this round. however, it was not until about a few hours before day change that john had FINALLY heard that his name was going around due to the fact that it was TRULY IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO HIM. funnily enough, this information came directly from chips--someone who i haven't talked to much. thankfully for me, john decided to tell almost everyone exactly what chips had said and no one was pleased to hear that. so, i worked my magic and made sure people were upset that chips tried to throw us all under the bus--because i need to make sure there is a target for next round that isn't me... DUH! later, i asked john what he wanted to do, and he sat there completely clueless. i was completely dumbfounded at his reluctance to say a name when his ass was CLEARLY on the line. eventually, i worked a name out of him, and he said bodhi (who was the only one who wanted to keep him earlier today)... so i obviously went right to bodhi and made sure he knew so i could build some trust with him going forward in this game since talking to john literally made me lose brain cells by the minute, i wanted to make sure he was the one leaving tonight. so, i am hoping everything goes according to plan at tribal tonight, but as long as i don't leave, i am golden with whatever. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl

So basically I'm not in town right now... and IbhopenI can trust people not to vote me until I get back and am less busy. I really bombed the challenge by getting 0 points for my tribe but we won that part... because the other people carried. Good stuff. Anyway we are voting John because he doesn't communicate well and has kind of mansplained the potential different vote? If its true then woohoo I got another round. Also! I got am advantage from idol hunt and thats nifty. 

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Click HERE to watch both out PREGAME and ROUND ONE cast assessments!

[secndlife]

got7 as fratboys: jaebum

a/n: ok so here’s the first one!!!!! it turned out waaaaay bigger than I expected but I hope y'all cope with me and read it all bc I think it’s worth it. as I said it, there’s a nsfw part at the end so skip it if you’re not comfortable with that. and please, hit me up with feedback!!!!!!!! those are very important so yeah

playlist

⇒ im jaebum: president

major: linguistics 

minor: philosophy 

ok so starting off with mr president himself: im jaebum!!!

ofc he was gonna be the president pls

so he majors in linguistics bc he wanted to do something different??? and like wanted to know the origins of words and its impacts etc etc LIKE DEEP STUFF

and he minors in philosophy bc well DEEP and he actually likes it a lot and he’s really good at it

you might think the guys don’t really respect him as a president but BITCH when jaebum is being serious they respect the hell out of him

he is the only one besides jinyoung that can actually put the place in order

a really good president???? like the university claims he’s an example even tho GOT had some complains in the past bc of it’s wild parties

he has this mysterious bad boy vibe all around him

but deep down he’s actually a softie

loves LOVES lOvEs his cat - her name is nora and she is the most precious thing to him

he wants to get more cats but he’s scared the guys will accidentally hurt them???? but getting more cats is totally on his plans

everyone on campus knows him - not just bc of GOT but well bc he’s that type of person that you just know who he is

he’s a MAJOR photography enthusiast

as you can see his instagram is totally aesthetic and with nice pictures

looks fucking good with a camera on his hands

actually looks fucking good doing anything

he’s also very passionate about music

like I told you he’s into deep stuff and he finds music quite deep

he’s actually a really good singer - youngjae said so himself

he also helps youngjae with his songs sometimes

they’re actually planning on recording jaebum a mixtape bc SURPRISE he’s really good at writing songs

has his earphones with him the whole time and don’t you dare touch them unless he offers to show you what he’s listening

yugyeom touched it without invitation once and well… it didn’t have a happy ending

his ipod is filled with pop punk songs and also rnb

reads a lot but not in public - no one actually knows why

maybe it has something to do with him wanting to keep this bad boy image around campus

has good grades bc he’s one of those people who are naturally smart and intelligent

he skips classes quite often

and when the guys wanna do it??? NO NO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS TO CLASS

bambam tried to argue once that “why can you skip classes and I can’t????”

jaebum dead ass played the president card and bambam just lowered his head and went to class

he usually skips it when he’s way too hangover or he didn’t get a good night of sleep

has some trouble sleeping at night sometimes so you’ll often find him taking short naps at his classes

when he’s at parties he’s very lowkey unless he’s REALLY drunk

then he turns into the most extra person on the planet?????

he once went down the stairs with nothing but wipped cream on his Parts™ bc he lost a bet he made when he was drunk

no need to say the girls went NUTS

talking about girls…. they all want him

they all wanna know what’s his deal like is he really intimidating is he a bad boy etc etc

he didn’t use to hook up a lot

actually he kinda fell in love with this one person but it didn’t end well

he got hurt and since then he only has sporadic one night stands and they are with girls from other universities so he won’t have to see them often

no one talks about this girl episode tho

actually he doesn’t actually talk about his problems openly at all

when he’s too bothered he goes to jinyoung bc they go way back and are truly best friends

jinyoung just gets him and isn’t scared to tell him when he’s wrong

BUT he has everything written down on his notebook: his lyrics, his feelings and everything that goes on his mind

it is black and it says “people I want to punch in the face” in the cover

he thought about putting a picture of nora but decided against it bc it was “too soft”

he carries this notebook with him at ALL TIMES like truly 24/07

and he doesn’t like anyone touching it in fact it is his most private thing and no one can read it

jinyoung almost read it once and jaebum caught him

jaebum didn’t speak to him for a few weeks and shit got serious but they got over it after jinyoung begged for his forgiveness for like 15 days straight

he goes to the same cafe every morning ever since his first year

everyone there knows him and his order

he usually stays there for quite a while just scribbling things on his notebook and drinking coffee

he likes his coffee dark and bitter and he says it’s just like his soul

no one buys this analogy tho

you must be wondering where do you fit in this

well you’re quite of a coffee enthusiast yourself and you love to go around on campus and discover new cafes etc

one day after your children’s psychology class you were wondering around campus near the philosophy building and there was this small cafe with a cat by the window and you thought oh cute

so you decided to come in and order your traditional caramel macchiato

from that day on you started going there almost every day

a few weeks later you noticed this handsome mysterious guy writing down on his notebook and you couldn’t stop looking???? and then you realized he was there everyday too

you sort of wanted to talk to him but he’s too intimidating

one day one of your friends went there with you and he told you about im jaebum and how everyone knows him and how intimidating he must be

so then you kinda dropped the idea of talking to him until

well one day he left the cafe in a huge rush babbling something about forgetting a test and he ended up leaving his notebook on his table

you decided to pick it up and save for him so you could give it back the next day

and so on the next day you’re drinking your coffee and he arrives and as soon as he sits you go there with the notebook in hands but things don’t go that well

“hm hey so you forgot this here yesterday and I-” “oh my god what are you doing with my notebook” “calm down greg I just picked it up for you bc you forgot it on the table” “DID YOU READ IT?” “no???” “tell me the truth did you read it” “I said I didn’t” “just give me my fucking notebook I’m leaving”

you stood there with this confused look but then you got mad???

“well here’s your fucking notebook. I didn’t read it. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that. I just kept it bc I also come here everyday and I thought well I’ll be nice and save it so I can give him back tomorrow. I would’ve left it on the table if I knew you were gonna be this rude. here it is. have a nice day”

and you left bc you were angry????? who does he think he is????

so from that day on you kinda changed the time you used to go to the cafe bc you didn’t wanna see him

fast forward a few days and a friend from your children’s psychology class - choi youngjae himself - invites you to a party his frat is organizing and you decide to go like why not

then you remember im jaebum is the president of the frat

but then you think OH SCREW IT I’m going and I’m gonna have a good time

so you’re there and a few drinks have settled in already. you’re not drunk you’re just a bit tipsy and joyful

you finally see youngjae so you go there to say hi and you two start talking

then you notice that jaebum is coming your way and you can’t not roll your eyes

“you know her youngjae?” “yeah jae. she’s in one of my classes. wait you two know each other?” “unfortunately. jaebum was an asshole to me a few days ago so excuse me I have to go”

and youngjae is giving jaebum this look that says wtf did you do dude go apologize

jaebum rolls his eyes but he goes after you and he calls you “cafe girl”

you turn and you’re not in the mood so

“what do you want jaebum?” “I wanna know your name so I can apologize properly”

you debate on just leaving but you tell him your name and he just stares at you

“are you actually saying something or can I just leave?” “hm no! don’t leave.. I just.. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have acted like that, you know, like a stupid rude asshole.” “yup you shouldn’t” “so I’m really sorry. and grateful that you kept my notebook. it’s really important to me and very personal so that’s why I acted like that.” “ok noted” “can I get you a drink to earn your apology and then we can talk like two normal people?”

you thought about saying no. you did. but he had the prettiest and most genuine smile across his face and you couldn’t deny

and then you two talk all night long and you find out he’s actually a really nice and cool guy with a great talk

so it’s late and you have to go home and he offers to walk you to your dorm and you tell him there’s no need but he insists and you let him

you two keep on talking and walking and he grabs your hand and when you look at him he has the cutest smile and that makes you wanna kiss his face but you don’t

you get to your dorm and you two exchange numbers and as soon as your inside your room you get a text

[01:35] jaebum: I really wanted to kiss you tonight. but I’ll take you on a proper date before that. are you free tomorrow?

so from that day on you two start hanging out and getting to know each other and going on dates and cute cafes and holding hands across campus and kissing under trees like this huge walking cliche

at first girls kept staring at you like they were surprised that THE im jaebum has a girl

and it was funny bc he walked with his arm around you like you were the most precious thing on the campus and the girls also looked kinda jealous

he allowed you to read something on his notebook once: it was a bunch of scribbled notes about you and it was so sweet and loving and then he asked you to be his girlfriend so BOOM you two were official

the guys start teasing the hell out of him because WOW you’ve turned jaebum into this huge ball of fluff

he’s really this soft dork whenever your around and that’s really cute

you two have this ritual of going to That cafe every morning and when one of you can’t make it the other one picks up coffee for the go

you had to be approved by nora in order for this relationship to work and sometimes he regrets it bc he swears you and nora like each other more than you two like him

it took him a while to open up to you but he did eventually

he makes you cds in a very old fashion way every month with songs he wants to show you or that make him think of you

and you give him this list with book recommendations so you can discuss later

you spend a lot of time at the frat helping him out with his president duties

he walks you to his classes

loves LOVES seeing you in his jackets or with the frat’s shirt

takes a lot of pictures of you - really, a lot. you’re having dinner? his camera is up. you’re putting make up? his camera is up. you’re sitting on the couch? his camera is up. like literally he has a ton of pics of you in his camera roll

you can keep him in check when he’s too nervous or too stressed and that’s great

he’s a bit jealous sometimes but he’s getting better

sex is a very important thing for him bc he belives that sex is a way to express love

like honestly he is very very sexy and he basically exhales sex so

usually he’s a dom and into rough sex

but there are some days when he just wants to appreciate you so he goes in deep for passionate sex and those days are amazing

sex is always very intense and intimate

not much into trying new things but will do it for you

never steps over your boundaries when it comes to sex (actually over anything but especially in bed) and you trust him a lot so

has a huge oral kink and also likes hair pulling

doesn’t care about doing it when the guys are around the dorm

overall he’s not the typical frat boy and a very soft person and you two became the bossy royalty couple and everyone loves you two