#meanwhile these two are So Normal about each other (one of them basically quit the other’s job for him and the other committed theft and B&E

[sunshine-zenith]

Coming back down

Act 1 jayvik my beloved

[quietplace26]

Ok, so me and @arn9tails was chatting about their au again, and swerved off onto my Soulmate au post that's also involved in their au, and the gist is,

"Zhongli is MC's soulmate, the first instance of a human bonded to a Teyvatian. When a soul bond is solidified between an Earthling and Teyvatian, the Earthling will become the size of a Teyvatian. So, when she hit her head, she became the first instance of an "Ascended Earthling" Rest of the thingy goes pretty normally, but folks start worshipping her." - @arn9tails

Basically, an alternative take on my Zhongli Soulmate post, which is right HERE if ya'll want to read it. Enjoy the crack and fluff!

Zhongli

Soulmate bonds worked in mysterious ways. Everyone knew that. No amount of studying or experimenting could ever truly describe a bond between Soul-Hearts.

It just existed, and people accepted that.

Only... no amount of Soulmate specialists on Earth considered this possible situation.

At the conference in (your choice) city, in the largest stadium in county, a Soulmate bond like no other was witness in front of a crowd of thousands of people and cameras.

An Earthling born human woman, and a GOD from another world, one that many knew was from a hit video game called Genshin Impact, was seen firsthand completing their Soulmate bond.

And the aftereffects... were shocking.

Once the GOD, Rex Lapis, touched the still unnamed Earthling woman, who by eyewitnesses' reports, seemed to be injured, started to glow... and started to GROW.

Yes, you heard right. She started to GROW in size, quickly becoming the size of what we believe is a standard Teyvatian female's size.

By the time glow finally reseeded, Rex Lapis had already bundled up his new Soul-Heart in his jacket and was snapping at the Earthling delegates that he was leaving and left back for his nation.

It's been a some time since then, and many, MANY Earthlings were curious about the fate of the former Earthling.

The Earthling government was keeping tight lips about her status and such, so who knows what had become of her...

Meanwhile in Liyue...

"...Oh, Lady MC!"

"Lady MC, how are you and Lord Rex Lapis doing today?"

"Mom, look, it's Lady MC and Lord Rex Lapis! Hi!"

You smile as a little girl wave excitedly to you, which you return with a giggle as the little girl squeals in excitement over the fact you waved back at her.

Next to you, Zhongli chuckles in amusement, his arm tightening around your waist as he led you down the bustling streets of Liyue.

"Seems you are quite the popular one today, dearest."

He says this... even though it was like this everyday for you since you arrived in Liyue.

Yes. For whatever reason, you being Zhongli's- ahem, I mean Rex Lapis's Soulmate means you yourself were given godly status like him?

Let rewind back a year. All the way back when MC first woke up in Liyue... and in a shirtless Zhongli's arms!

To her relief, she didn't say anything stupid or sus at that moment as the soul bond between the two of them clicked into place.

After that, the two of them mostly lazed around in bed holy shit she was in Geo daddy's bed, not really talking. Just soaking in one another's presence...

Though, eventually, Zhongli and MC got up, or well, Zhongli got up and carried her in his arms Oh god he did have dark colored arms with glowly lines on them! to his kitchen where he made some tea for two of them.

You two ended up talking for a few hours after that. The of them carefully probing one another with questions and such, slowly getting to know each other.

But the questions about their Soulmate bond was brought up, with Zhongli on the theory that MC didn't originally know he was her Soulmate... which MC then timidly tells him the truth.

MC: "Uh... Well, I've known you're my soulmate for a few years now? Heheh... Y-you know about Genshin Impact, yes?"

The face Zhongli made immediately caused MC to flinch with a squeak. Ok, he knew about it and HATED it, that was very much apparent!

Thankfully he calmed down, admitting that, YES, he knew about it... it was what ruined his retirement after all.

Ah... that would do it, huh?

MC: "W-well, did you know that a S-soulmate mark can mistake when their destined one... dies?" She phased this question awkwardly as Zhongli gave her a confused look.

MC would then explain how when she saw his 'death' happened at the Rite of Descension, her Soulmate mark went on the fritz for good few minutes, messing badly with her emotions.

MC: "It was scary... You know? I had no clue what was happening to me. Why I was crying, or why I was sad... I just felt like I lost a part of myself for a moment-"

She didn't notice she was crying when remembering that scary moment. Only when arms that were starting to become very familiar to her wrapped around her body in a tight hug.

For the next hour Zhongli would hold her, letting our deep rumbling purrs and murmuring quiet apologies for scaring her like that.

He just wanted to retire! Not scare his poor soulmate to near death!

After that it was mostly MC explaining how she met him 'in game' and the journey on her realizing that, hey, this supposedly not real man was her Soulmate. Oh, woe is her

Zhongli thankfully didn't hold it against her when she admitted to ONLY playing Genshin because it was the only way to be near him...

But Zhongli's only worry was the fact she had to deal with a one-sided Soulmate bond for a few years. That should've been an excruciating pain for a human to handle!

When MC only shrugged, saying she got used to it, Zhongli didn't know whether to impressed or worried. He was already thinking of calling Dr. Baizhu again-

But before he could do that, he hears MC admit she was originally not going to go to that conference. Because she felt like she didn't deserve him.

MC: "I mean, well, I'm human. And you're a God. There was also that issue with the size differences... but apparently, it's not an issue anymore?"

MC was still very much confused about her sudden growth, but that worried was thrown out the window when Zhongli drags her in for another hug, firmly placing her on his lap, and growling in her face that she should never think that way again!

Zhongli: "You, my 灵魂伴侣 (soulmate), are mine. You are my destined one. The one fate decided was my other half of my soul. So, do not ever think that you are never enough. Do you understand me, dearest?"

Poor MC barely manages to squeak out a yes before Zhongli presses a soft kiss to her forehead, making her squeak once again.

This man- no... this God was going to be the death of her...

The rest of the conversation that follows was thankfully simpler and straight to the point. It was mostly Zhongli explaining that since MC was his Soul-Heart, and because of she had become Teyvatian size, she would remain in Liyue with him.

Where, in Zhongli's eyes, she rightfully belonged.

It was then agreed that both MC and Zhongli wouldn't immediately get married as Zhongli wanted to court her properly

And how could MC say no to that logic. What girl wouldn't want to be courted by a handsome man that was their Soul-Heart?

And just like that, MC began her life in Liyue... with her Soul-Heart, Zhongli.

~Extra Notes~

As mentioned before, the people of Liyue automatically placed MC on Zhongli's level over the fact the two of them were soulmates.

MC found the whole thing a bit awkward as she was technically still human- wait, what do you mean when she soul bonded with Zhongli she became essentially immortal like him?!

Since she was treated on the same ground as Zhongli, MC tried too at least take part with helping Liyue. It was simple things, mostly incorporating some things from Earthling culture. Mainly food drives and Toys-for-Tots kind of deal for those with little Mora.

Turns out these simple acts of kindness only brought up her popularity even more.

Zhongli also eventually introduced her to the Adepti once she was more settled in, and as a way to hopefully break the ice as she was absolutely terrified at meeting Cloud Retainer and the other Adepti... she brought food.

She may've stressed cooked a little too much, but a pot of steaming food in hand, she smiles shyly up at the Adepti and introduces herself as she offered food.

MC is still surprised at how quickly the food was gobbled up, but hearing all the compliments made it so much better for her.

It made her so confident that she even made cute little bento boxes for them to take food home with!

Xiao was the most flustered one out of all of them when handed the bento box, but MC finds it empty and clean in the kitchen the next morning.

This starts a rather adorable trend of Xiao stopping by every so often to pick up his personal bento box cause MC wanted him to eat more and come talk to her.

She wanted to be his friend! And friend she shall be!

MC also easily befriends the Adepti in the harbor. Madame Ping was just as nice as she was in the game, even sharing some more... amusing, stories about Zhongli in his hay day.

All the while the Geo Archon himself was pouting beside MC, grumbling about none of the things Ping was saying was true, but the telltale sign of light blush on his cheeks said differently.

Ganyu was also another Adepti MC spoke to a lot. Sometimes she even went over to Ganyu's workplace and took her out eat so the poor overworked Adepti could relax for once.

Despite all the positive relationships MC was growing in Liyue... there was some negative ones...

Keqing. To be honest, MC never really liked her in Genshin, finding her personality awful and the way she was so rude and condescending to the Adepti and the divine in general putting a sour taste in MC's mouth.

She also made MC lose her 50/50 too many times, that bit-

And that continues on when meeting Keqing for real. MC could see the disgust in the other woman's eyes when she saw MC and Zhongli... so, when no one was looking, MC sneered back and flips her off.

Of course, Keqing tried to get MC in trouble for that, but Ningguang tells her to be silent and apologize to MC for causing her and Lord Rex Lapis trouble.

Zhongli would later mention how he saw it and thought it was cute how sassy MC was.

He also asked if MC wanted him to 'deal' with Keqing.

MC: "...Deal with her how, Zhongli? ...Zhongli!"

Another small issue that occurred... was Xiangling.

It all started while MC and Zhongli were dinning at family's restaurant, and Xiangling was rambling to her friends, which MC noticed was Chongyun and Xingqiu, about Earth, and-

Xiangling: "Those Earthlings are such exotic looking creatures! I wonder what they taste like?"

MC's face immediately lost all color as she dropped her chopsticks in utter horror, and Zhongli was already getting off his seat, his expression filled with cold rage at the still oblivious Xiangling.

Thankfully, no one was hurt killed as Chongyun and Xingqiu yanked her away, hissing something to her before the chef's own face went white as she glanced over to MC.

A few minutes later MC awkwardly pats the now crying Xiangling's head as the young chef apologized for her words.

Besides that, there was a small issue with the Fatui? MC wasn't sure as Zhongli kept her out of the issue.

Unknown to her, Dottore was caught poking around Liyue, something about him wanting to 'Chat' with the ex-Earthling woman.

Needless to say, he was booted from Liyue and Zhongli sent a lengthy letter to the Tsaritsa about keeping that thing away from his wife less she wanted one less Harbinger.

And that was how Dottore was banned from ever entering Liyue again or even coming within a mile of MC.

After a month or so into her new life in Liyue, MC started to feel a little homesick.

It wasn't too bad, but she did miss her the familiarity of her old apartment. Her old room, with all her well love books, her movie collection, and her large, LARGE Pokémon plush collection.

Zhongli eventually finds out about this... and he disappears for a few days.

Unknown to you he had gone back to MC's Earthling nation and after some small talk with some officials, he manages to get his hands on her belongings, which had been thankfully stored away by MC's old landlady.

He had no clue what were in these tiny boxes, but he hoped it would bring a smile back to his Soul-Heart's face...

Zhongli returns to Liyue, immediately going to ask Cloud Retainer to building something that could increase the boxes and their belongings inside, and once that was done, he shows them to MC.

The happy squeal she let out along with the hug and kiss she gave him made Zhongli's day as his Soul-Heart ripped opened the biggest of the boxes... and pull out a large, strange creature?

Meanwhile MC was over the moon as she hugged her giant Lapras plush! She her things back!

And when she pulled out more of her Pokémon plushies, Zhongli asked, "What are these... tiny plush creatures? Are they native beings to your world?"

A curious sound leaves Zhongli, a sound MC loving liked to describe as his 'Drago noises', as he cradles your Dragonair plush.

For the rest of the day, MC had pleasure of telling Zhongli everything about the joys of Pokémon and even gave him a few of her plushies that she noticed his eyes kept glancing at.

A Dragonite, a normal colored Dragonair and its shiny counterpart, and a Dratini! (Picture here!)

Hm... Maybe she could get Cloud Retainer to make a charger for her Switch, and she could show Zhongli the Pokémon gaming experience?

The two of them dug more through MC's stuff, which only brought more and more questions from Zhongli as he curiously examined everything.

When MC explained the concept of Movies and showed him some of her old DVD collection and old dingy DVD played... Zhongli actually looked childlike. His eyes had an excited glow to them.

Stories told in moving, talking pictures or even with real people? He wanted to see them! Especially that one MC mention was her favorite. What was it... Oh, How to Train Your Dragon?

Cue Cloud Retainer being MVP again and got MC's DVD player and TV working, and both MC and Zhongli spent the next night or so binge watching all her movies.

It was so, SO cute watching Zhongli enjoy the movies. When they would finish one, he'd look to MC, eyes begging to watch something else.

The two of them literally watched through several of her favorite Disney and Studio Ghibi movies, along with Narnia, Lord of The Rings, Kung Fu Panda and few other movies you had on hand.

Watching the Jurassic Park movies was an interesting experience though. As Zhongli learns about Dinosaurs for the first time.

Zhongli: "You mean to tell me you used to have dragons, but they all went extinct by a giant meteor slamming into the planet?" Not him glancing at his special attack.

MC: "Not dragons, honey. Dinosaurs. There's a difference."

This man was too cute, what the hell-

Hm... Maybe MC could get Cloud Retainer to help her somehow connect to the internet on her dead laptop? Then maybe she could pull up even more movies and even show Zhongli some Anime and Cartoons!

The Pokemon series/Movies was a must, Avatar the Last Airbender, oh, and maybe Monkie Kid! It would be fun to explain Sun Wukong to Zhongli through this silly cartoon.

Zhongli would be like, "A monkey god??? Really?" Proceeds to hear all of Sun Wukong's lore and realizes he would've loved to fight this guy back in his Morax days.

Besides that, Zhongli found MC's Dragonair onesie. It was something she bought on whim, and while it was no doubt childish, it was so comfortable and warm to wear at home.

To her delight, a few days later Zhongli manages to acquire his own 'onesie', one that was made to look similar to his Exuiva form.

Dragon onesies lovers!

~Extra, EXTRA notes. Baby edition~

It was a few weeks or so after MC and Zhongli returned from their honeymoon in Sumeru when the first signs were noticed.

Zhongli noticing MC's scent changing ever so slightly. Her change in appetite and feeling sick in the morning or due to certain smells.

It could be only one thing, but the couple wanted to be sure, so they talked to Baizhu... and it was true. MC was pregnant.

If she hadn't been adored before, then Liyue reached a new height of adoration for MC. She was carrying their God's child, so of course they were excited!

Zhongli was of course nervous about her carrying an Adepti child, much less his, but MC calmed him by saying she trusted him and Baizhu to take care of her and their little 'bun in the oven'.

For the next nine months, poor MC had to deal with an increasingly feral and dragony Soul-Heart.

Barely even a month pregnant and she wanted to take a short walk? No! Back into the nest! Every answered from Zhongli ended with that.

MC was permanently nest bound for the majority of her pregnancy due to her Soulmate's overprotective dragon instincts going wild over her.

Despite her being moody because of this... she didn't hold it against Zhongli. This was his first child after all, she couldn't blame him for being so frazzled over this.

She did demand plenty of cuddles, kisses, Pokémon plushies that he was able to obtain from the Earthling nations, and maybe some se-

... Nine months later, and on a snowy, winter day in Liyue, the Geo Archon's first child, first daughter, graced the world with a loud cry.

She was proudly named Xue (雪 (xuě) meaning "snow"), as in memory of the rare, pretty snow fall that graced the Harbour on the day of her birth.

Xue was very much Zhongli's child. MC even jokingly says it was clear who's gene pool was stronger as little Xue looked exactly like her proud papa!

Zhongli disagrees saying Xue looks more like MC because of her smile.

While it was normal for new parents to have bumps in raising their child, MC hadn't had much issue yet, and her child was half Adepti!

But one thing did happen one late night...

MC and Zhongli woke up from a dead sleep with a crash is heard from the nursery... and all they found was a tipped over crib, some shredded clothes they knew was Xue's onesie... but no Xue.

Zhongli had already darted off, saying he was going to call for the Adepti and close the exits off. MC could already feel the earth shaking from his rage alone.

But as soon as he left, MC heard a small noise from down the hall in the living room.

There, hidden under the couch and shaking in fear was a small Dragon that looked like a tiny, chibi version of Zhongli's Exuvia form.

MC: "...Xue?"

MC immediately goes to find Zhongli, Baby Hatchling!Yue in her arms, so she could prevent her Soul-Heart from unintentionally destroying Liyue in an earthquake because of his rage.

Not even 10 minutes later Zhongli was in his own Dragon form, gently nosing and licking a squeaking and chirping Xue, who batted at his nose with her tiny paws.

MC, watching this, playfully clutches a hand over her heart, saying she couldn't take the cuteness.

She proceeds to get pounced and cuddled by her Dragon Soul-Heart and Hatchling daughter.

After that it wasn't uncommon to see Xue in her hatchling form as she couldn't control her shifting yet like Zhongli could.

This meant getting Adepti magic infused baby clothes because getting new ones every time she shifts, thus ripping them, was becoming a bit of a pain and loss of Mora.

Thank you, Cloud Retainer and Madame Ping for coming in clutch.

It wouldn't be too much of an issue. Just need to modify somethings, like it being able to stretch out to fit Xue's Hatchling form, and most importantly, her little tail.

MC still loses her mind over that little tail and the little tail fluff at the end. it was just too cute... at least until she accidentally gets faced slap by it and has fur in her mouth.

Thus, why MC had the glee of having a custom baby onesie made, and Zhongli agreed with the finished project with a smile of his own.

...The internet broke. Simple as that.

And it was all because of simple social media post. The issue was... it was a post from the Earthling woman turned Teyvatian's account.

And the post? Well...

It was 3 people, all of whom were sitting on a floor and in cartoonish onesies.

The Ex-Earthling woman, MC (Dragonair onesie), the Geo Archon (Exuvia onesie), and... a small toddler (Shiny Dratini onesie) sits on MC's lap. All of 3 them were smiling.

And the caption reads, "Just a simple, happy family"

[2isted-chocol8-art]

question about time buddies cus im curious: 1) are they dating in the comics you make? they kiss and cuddle and be cute, but like are they together together? and 2) how did they get together, if so? like how did they confess? or did it just happen? basically im asking what are ur headcannons for how they start smooching? i lovelovelove all the time buds art youve made and the thought just came up that, well, theyve gotta start kissing somehow yknow?

Ohhh this is gonna be a very fun ask to answer where I'll pour a bunch of headcanons, so buckle up!!

I haven't yet settled on how I picture hearthian relationships, but I know that I want to make them kinda fluid. That is, relationships aren't strictly divided in platonic and romantic, it's normal and accepted to have crushes in friends, or to make out and sleep with people without romantic feelings involved. Each hearthian has their own preferences too, and since their population is quite small, there isn't a set standard. Some people choose to be exclusive, others don't. Some have many romantic experiences, others have none. For some, romance and sex are linked, while for others it is not. And since everyone is different in this regard there are not societal expectations on this, you can kinda go and try whatever works for you.

For hatchy, they are still figuring themself out and they were experimenting before the loop. They don't fully distinguish between romantic and platonic affection, the line is kinda blurred for them. Meanwhile, while Gabbro does make that distinction and they've have a few previous crushes, they're pretty open to making out with friends without the need for romantic feelings. Gabbro usually puts the focus on the other person's preferences, in that sense.

And so, are they dating? Honestly you can interpret them as you like, and I encourage people to see them as dating if they want, or not if they don't want to. You can even see them as strictly friends in some drawings and as dating in others, I don't really want you guys to follow my 'canon', in that sense.

For me personally though, I think that since they're in a time loop, they don't really bother with defining their relationship. They're the only conscious ones in the loop, they like to spend time together, they sometimes make out, but they arent technically dating, that label doesn't really make sense in the loop, right? From outside, I'd say it's close to a friends with benefits situation.

I also like to think that, in my post-loop comics, this relationship would start to get more defined with time, mostly because they're living back into a society and it kinda forces them to think about what they want regarding each other. I haven't thought much about the details, but I feel that although their dinamic doesn't change much compared to what they had in the loops, they do start having some 'dating' dynamics (they set limits regarding phisical affection with others, manage jelaousy situations, expect to spend more time together, etc,).

And in regards to your second question, how did they get together? I think that they become friends only after the loops starts (they never really hung out before) and they gradually become closer. Then, after the touch starvation and isolation starts becoming unbearable, they start smooching and making out mostly as a consequence of that absence, an attempt to search for that connection. This obviously makes it all the more intense and they end up kind of attached to the hip for a time (codependency my beloved). But again it's all kinda casual and very gradual, there is not a set moment where everything starts and they don't bother defining it either. It's mostly a matter of 'hey, this feels nice, let's keep doing it".

If I'm being honest I picture this starting as in "Next Time" or "Got Weird", thise fics perfectly capture the essence of how I think anything would start between these two in-loop sksksk.

And I think that's all? Thank you so much for this ask, it was a blast talking about all of this! I have a lot of headcanons for these two, and although I encourage you all to interpret my drawings as you like, I love talking about all of this!

[femnoah]

Another female Noah au!

Bio dad Chris au

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Action/before world tour

She still works for them during action and things are running really efficiently (she's definitely not called Mclean Jr by the staff, noooo). She still sometimes dresses up as 'Noah' when she's needed for the show which is when she befriends Owen.

When Chris and Chef find out about her brothers (which they just look at each other because one of Chris' hookups had 8 sons, what are the odds) Chris makes a joke about her father being happy to finally have a daughter.

She tells him that technically her brothers are her half-brothers and she doesn't know who her dad is, just that he was a hookup at a festival in America and her mother doesn't remember him. Chris and Chef basically have an 'oh, oh no' moment.

They contact Neha's mother and agree to do a parental DNA test.

Surprise surprise, Neha is Chris' daughter.

Chris is just flabbergasted but accepts it quite quickly cause the kid is pretty awesome and clearly that came from him and she's like a mini me. She even also wants to be a Host!

Chef is half smug because it turns out that his little jokey theory was correct. He's also half stunned because now he's a stepdad, like officially.

They get joint custody with Nehas mother and invited to the family dinners and game nights.

They don't tell anybody from the show or network about this though, they don't need to know about her being his bio daughter. Of course Izzy finds out though and by extension, Eva

They try to bond with the girl in 'normal' ways. It's very awkward. Eventually they just go back to their mildly immoral bonding and honestly, it works. They're like the most unconventional family.

They somehow end up the father figures of 11 kids (doesn't matter if some are also adults) - the Devi kids +Eva and Izzy

One of the producers thinks they're building an army to overthrow them.

Since they don't actually see Neha's brothers much though, they are basically girl dads.

Chris is still trying to figure out how Neha keeps on stealing his credit card, she says it's parental compensation and she needs the money but he knows that her mother is definitely not in need of money. He lets her get away with it though because it's pretty much impossible to put a dent into his riches.

They bully the producers and the head of the network.

Eventually (like, in a couple years) they blackmail them into quitting and Chris gets to keep the company. Neha gets her dream job as a host of a variety show in the company and it's definitely not because of nepotism.

Alejandro is acting in one of the TV shows Chris is in after Action and meets the trio.

His first impression of Neha is seeing the girl verbally put down one of the other actors (to the point of tears) that he hates and is immediately smitten with the assistant.

He notices how frustrated she gets at the flirting (can thank Justin and Cody for that one) so he has to come up with a different strategy to woo the girl.

He starts to cause little 'accidents' to those who are clearly annoying her (nothing too serious of course). She takes notice and suggests they team up (she likes how ruthless and slippery he is, and is definitely into him, not that you can prove anything Izzy)

She doesn't know that he's doing it for her sake, she just thinks he also finds these people stupid and Alejandro is not complaining cause now he gets to spend time with her! They're basically each other's partners in crime.

Chris and Chef see the two of them doing their weird little flirty dance and find it adorable because look at their daughter finding a devoted boy toy!

Meanwhile all the staff are terrified because if this is them flirting before a relationship, then what would they be like when they actually get together?

Chris offers him a spot on 'World tour' and he was going to refuse but then he was told Neha was going to be there and well...

[wildstar25]

I.4: Did any of them try to resist their feelings?

and

II.1: Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

Future Lia here saying: Oh god I really didn't mean to write all this it just kinda happened I'm so sorry. I have no excuse other than I've obviously thought so much about all these individual instances so much that I couldn't get my brain to stop. I'm very unwell about the blorbos and completely lost the plot lol.

Did any of them try to resist their feelings?

Arsay & G'raha part 1:

Literally the entirety of Crystal Tower was these two losers (Arsay and G'raha) obviously catching feelings for each other and then getting in their own way about ( I have a bullet point run down of their events here). G'raha over thought himself out of ever saying anything to Arsay and then got blasted with the 'this is your destiny' beam. Meanwhile when Arsay was ready to make baby steps, the timing just didn't work out for her 🙃

Y'shtola:

I hc that Shtola started crushing on Arsay far before Arsay ever realized her feelings for her friend. Y'shtola wasnt really in the scions to make new friends yet Arsay, for many reasons, managed to worm her way into Shtola's heart. They were really close by the end of heavensward. The road trip through to the Hinterlands gave them a lot of bonding time in particular and feelings began creeping in. At the end of 4.3 when Y'shtola heads off to Doma, I have this whole extra bit in the story about Arsay accompanying her to Kugane and them spending a day going around the town at Arsay's insistence. It was basically a date and by that point Y'shtola realized just how bad she had it for Arsay. Still she kept her feelings to herself. Her investigations, the safety of the star, things of this nature would always come first for Y'shtola. (Queue Y'shtola singing I wont say I'm in love) A part of her hoped she could will herself past this terrible crush, especially during those three years apart in the first. Unfortunately distance only made her heart grow fonder.

Arsay & Y'shtola:

It took Arsay a really long time to realized that her totally normal feelings to have for her friend Y'shtola were, in fact, not normal and she had been trying to convince herself of otherwise for quite some time. It took Arsay getting basically beaten over the head with her own overwhelming feelings to figure this out though: From being so excited to see Y'shtola again in SHB, being heartbroken to the point of snapping when Arsay thought Y'shtola didn't recognize her (beyond relieved when that wasn't the case), getting unbelievably shaken when she thought she lost her best friend again, feeling stupidly jealous seeing her in Runar's arms, making a fool of herself trying to then lift Y'shtola up as well.... Things clicked when Arsay overheard Y'shtola fret over her safety to Urianger. Arsay just took a moment to reflect on how kind Y'shtola really is and how much she loved her- loved that about her. love her? why would Arsay think that? Ah. Shit, it's because she loved Y'shtola. And she figured this out at maybe the worse time? As the crew journeyed back to the Crystarium from Rak'tika Arsay fails to be chill about her revelation. She goes off on her own for a bit to cool down and prepares to bottle up all these inconvenient feelings only find out that Urianger followed her. The two have a semi-honest heart to heart. Beyond Arsay's gut reaction of "Who am I to worry about my love life, now of all times, when we have worlds to save?", she expressed the one crippling fear now plaguing her mind: loss. So long as Arsay continued to walk the heroic adventurer's path, those who walked with her were sure to be at risk. She had the experience to back her fears up too. Those deaths still weighed heavy on her no matter how much she tried to push those memories back. Plus it's been now two close calls for Y'shtola; what if the third time they aren't so lucky? Arsay couldn't handle another friend dying in front of her let alone a lover. There too is the possibility of Arsay dying and leaving poor Y'shtola alone and heartbroken. Inflicting such pain on someone so dear to her would be unthinkable. So, Arsay argued, by keeping her romantic feelings to herself she'd save them both from future hurt. Urianger in his most poetic prose somehow convinced Arsay that the regret and leaving things left unsaid was a pain far worse and longer lasting than simple grief. Arsay knew this of course. He also adds that Y'shtola would likely resent Arsay for withholding such important information from her. Arsay agreed. Finally, the elezen puts forth a hypothesis of his: That Y'shtola could very well be thinking and feeling the same things as Arsay has. After all, the two of them were shockingly alike at times. The idea that Y'shtola liked her back made Arsay's heart skip a beat. Maybe Arsay could embrace these feelings of hers. Love is a good feeling. She can let herself feel that and be okay. The inevitable hurt that's sure to follow is not something Arsay has to consider right now so it's fine. Yeah. It'll be okay.

Arsay & G'raha Part 2:

When Arsay's suspicions where confirmed and it was clear to her exactly who the Crystal Exarch was a pit formed at the bottom of her stomach. She had Y'shtola now, so why did those feelings from moons ago still have a vice grip on her heart? Arsay felt terrible, both physically and mentally. Selfish and disgusted. Guilt plagued her as they ascended Mt. Gulg and even more so as they descended into the Tempest. Everyone could tell Arsay was not at her best. She had to dedicate all of her energy keeping herself together through the light poisoning so it was no wonder that Arsay was unable to maintain her usual mask. They had to search the ocean floor for something and everyone broke off into teams. Y'shtola paired off with Arsay. Y'shtola, with her kind heart and inquisitive nature, pressed the subject while they were secluded from the rest of the group. Why did Arsay know the Exarch's name? What history did him and her have together? Most importantly, why hasn't Arsay been able to look her girlfriend in the eyes for the past two days? Like most of her problems, Arsay wanted to hide her feelings for G'raha away and pretend like it never happened. She wanted to be happy with Y'shtola. She was happy with Y'shtola. Arsay loved and respected Y'shtola so much so that Arsay wouldn't dare lie to her. She couldn't bring herself to say in plain words that she held a flame for the currently endangered Exarch; but she didn't need to. Y'shtola was far too bright to not pick up on the subtext. What Arsay did choose to say clearly was that Y'shtola will forever be in her heart; and though she felt like she had no right to, she asked that Y'shtola forgive how large said heart ended up being.

The Crystal Exarch:

I've written about this before here -> but surmise to say, the Exarch felt so undeserving of his hero's affection and too self conscious of himself that he could not put his all into the relationship. He should count himself lucky that Arsay was so hopelessly in love with him tbh. And yes, even though he really really wanted to, not once would he let himself go any farther with her than making out. (much to Arsay's dismay)

Who initiated the relationship, and how did they go about it?

ArShtola

Arsay, bolstered by a pep talk from Urianger and ready to make that terrifying leap, opted to confess her feelings to Y'shtola the night they returned to the Crystarium after travelling from Rak'tika. Arsay had never confessed anything of this magnitude before but she had to get it out there as soon as she could lest she loose her confidence and the perils of their adventures tear them apart. I have a cringe but free fic with gposes here ->

--

GrahArsay/GrahArShtola

It took time for Y'shtola to respond to Arsay's story about her and the Exarch. Their was so much pain in the keeper's voice as she mentioned how things ended up. So much that it struck even Y'shtola's heart. Seeing the one she loved carry such hurt was saddening, yes, but the sting the seeker felt was for her own sake. A little over three years Y'shtola pined over her friend and now after less than two weeks together Arsay drops a bombshell like this on her. To a degree, Y'shtola felt as if she'd been betrayed. Having finally given in to opening up to someone only to feel like she's been toyed around with and been made a fool. She had wanted to lash out then and there but successfully locating the Ondo ruins thankfully stopped her. Y'shtola had taken the rest of their deep sea mission to step back and mull things over. Arsay was practically falling apart in front of her. If this was to be the end for her beloved the last thing Y'shtola should do is add another nail into her looming coffin. For as difficult as her Warrior of Light may be at times there is no denying how much happiness she's brought into Y'shtola's life. Y'shtola sought only to bring her the same happiness in turn. And for all that Arsay's done for the world she deserves the freedom to go after what she wants. Y'shtola would not be the one to bar her from that. However, she had no intention of letting what that she desired go so easily. Y'shtola would not allow herself to be made an embarrassment in this situation. A solution found its way to the forefront of her mind. A bit unconventional outside of tribal life mind you, perhaps a wholly unfamiliar concept for a stranger to their own culture like her dear was, but a non-monogamous partnership could just work. At the very least Y'shtola was willing to try. In her words, Arsay's heart might very well be larger than they both expected but it was still the same heart that Y'shtola fell for. The same heart she continues to love despite the hurt it caused her. The same heart she puts her unwavering trust in. So, just as what could be their final trial stood in front of them, Y'shtola pulled Arsay in close. Her aether was blinding, spilling out from all sides in a monstrous form. Still Y'shtola locked eyes with Arsay. She dare not look away. Y'shtola needed Arsay to see only her in this short moment. Should they make it through this they can talk about the logistics later. Y'shtola's trust in the Exarch was frail at best but if Arsay trusted him he surely wasn't all that malicious. For now Y'shtola wanted only to ease Arsay's soul and focus her mind. There was no anger or resentment between them. They will fight this battle and rescue this G'raha Tia together, side by side. Now and forever, Arsay is loved and is free to love.

... A celebration was held in the Crystarium upon their return with the Exarch. It was a joyous affair for all and lasted long into the night. Noticing G'raha had sneaked away from the crowd, Y'shtola once again expressed her blessings for Arsay to chase after him. That she did and can be read here ->

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

In Defence of Sam Winchester

(Or alternately titled)

Two Times Sam Actually Made Pretty Big Mistakes and Several Times When He Did Not (But was Blamed Anyway)

I have two sort of random thoughts on this scene, followed by a long-ass rant about Sam’s Alleged Screw-ups under the cut. This is me, so of course it got long.

1. “Sam, I want Gadreal to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you.”

Truth. Here we have one of the few times I can unreservedly agree with Castiel.

2. “Being human didn’t just change my view of food, it changed my view of you.”

I don’t ship on this show, both brothers are implied to be straight, and I don’t want to see either of them in a long term relationships while the other is around because it would just suck to be Sam or Dean’s significant other, as you’d always be a distant second to their brother.

But … if Castiel had to fall for one of the brothers (we are not discussing whatever that was in Despair), it should have been Sam. First, Sam treated him with a ton more courtesy, respect and forgiveness than Dean (and more than he ever deserved), and the arc could have been really compelling. Seeing an angel going from seeing Sam as an abomination, to protecting him for Dean’s sake, to protecting him for his Sam’s own sake, to learning to empathize and relate to Sam after being human himself, to loving him for overcoming his own flaws and guilt could have been pretty epic. Again, I’m fine with it not actually happening because Supernatural is not about romance for me, but they could have done something similar and made Sam and Cas' friendship more rich if they’d given them more screen time. There are moments where Sam and Cas are quite sweet with each other, just fond; meanwhile, Dean is cursing Cas out every other episode, and Cas is backstabbing Dean (and Sam) while they call each other friend. And Jared and Misha have good chemistry, so if Cas had to stick around longer than his character warranted, they should have had the characters who can relate to each other actually have opportunities to, well, relate more. And I don’t buy that line that Jared and Misha couldn’t get through a scene together because the gags and bloopers have to be exaggerated or no one could have gotten through scenes on set, and none of them would have gotten jobs after the show ended.

Anyway, on to what truly sparked this post..

3. “The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you, is me.”

So, this is the part of the scene where my Sam and Cas interaction fondness evaporates. The basic statement is correct, Castiel has in fact “screwed things up” more than Sam, but the implication is that Sam is this constant screw-up, and with this I take issue. Much issue.

This scene is located in Season 9, a season where Sam has in fact not screwed up, but has rather been screwed over. Dean has screwed up here, you know, the other Winchester brother who makes mistakes but doesn’t get the “consistent” blame for it that Sam does by the show (or characters. Or many fans). This is not in anyway anti Dean, but both brothers screw up a lot and the Sam scapegoating is out of control.

On that note, when has Sam consistently screwed up (in a big way, not smaller things), with him solely responsible for doing the “screwing,” and when is it a result of actions outside of his control?

Season 1: Sam going to college was treated like he committed murder, when it was actually normal and justifiable thing to do, so I’m not counting that. Next, Sam discovered he’s been fed demon blood as a baby, so he’s monster adjacent. This is not something he did wrong, but was done to him. He also failed to kill Azazrl, but he did so because he couldn’t kill his own dad who was possessed at the time (especially with Dean begging him not to). No major failures or screw-ups here.

Season 2: Sam is possessed by a demon, who kills and attacks people while wearing his body. Sam didn’t chose this, but it is another thing that was done to him. Later, be gets killed (if you can call that screwing something up) because he showed compassion to another “Soecisl Child.” His reward for his goodness was being stabbed in the back. He didn’t screw anything up on a grad scale this season, but was too good.

Season 3: Sam fails to save Dean from his Demon Deal. Again, Sam didn’t make this deal, so Dean dying was his own fault (as sad and awful as it is). Sam could have saved Dean (we know this from Season. 4’s arc), but Dean would not let him work with Ruby to do so. Again, Dean died because of Dean, not Sam. Though, I will never forgive the show for not letting Sam save him here, it still isn’t a Sam scew-up.

Season 4: Ah, here is the major time that Sam did in fact screw up. Drinking the demon blood and trusting Ruby were no bueno (though she did do the work to make herself look trustworthy and Sam was mad with grief, he still fuckrd up). Then, his “greatest” mistake: he killed Lilith, freeing Lucifer from the cage and starting the apocalypse. This was a major screw up too, but he also didn’t know what was going to happen, and if he didn’t do it, Dean was planning to do the same, so I don’t think he deserved actual blame for killing a demon (without knowing the consequences), when everyone from angels to demons was suggesting she needed to die. My tally: 1.5 Sam screw-ups.

Season 5: All Sam does this whole Season is be honest, atone, redeem himself, and Save the world (with Dean’s help). Sam is perfect in Season 5. Fight me.

Season 6: Sam does a lot of bad shit: kills a lot of people, tries to dad-icide Bobby, brings the Campbells on screen by hunting with them (snd they suck), and hurts Dean pretty repeatedly. Except Sam, the real Sam, didn’t do any of these things by choice. “He lost his soul” which Dean even blmaes him for in Season 8, but that’s giving Sam too much agency in this problem. He didn’t “lose” his soul like he “lost his shoe.” No. His soul was left behind, deliberately or not, by Castiel (lead screw-up himself) to be tortured by Lucifer in the cage. Sam’s actions in Season 6 were not “just another Sam screw-up” because he didn’t actually do anything wrong because the Real Sam wasn’t even steering the ship. So, smy Soulless Sam mistakes in Season 6 are Castiel’s Fault.

Season 7: Sam goes insane. Even though some of the characters seems to blame Sam for this (or at least resent him for it), as though MHI are something for which we should blame the affected person, Sam is not to blame here. Having a bout of insanity after being tortured in hell for 150+ years is not a screw-up. It’s not an oopsie. It’s both reasonable and not Sam’s fault. It is in fact Castiel’s fault (again) for breaking Sam’ hell wall. So, much like last season, in Season 7, Sam even more so did nothing wrong. I really will fight you on that one.

Season 8: And here’s the crux of what Castiel was probably actually more directly referring to. Sam didn’t save Dean from Purgatory. He committed the cardinal sin of codependent brother husbands (I don’t ship, but I do call them this to amuse myself). He didn’t save Dean from Purgatory: he didn’t sell his soul; lose himself in grief, pursuit of revenge, or self-destruction (like in Mysety Spot or Season 4); or try to kill himself to make a deal to get this brother back. What a monster! Never mind that he didn’t know that Dean was in Purgatory at all, or that he thought he was doing what Dean would have wanted in case of his death, and try to live (like he told Dean to do when he sacrifices himself in Sean Sing).

If we need to count this as one of Sam’s big screw-ups (as opposed to weak and/or out of character writing), we are now at two major mistakes (or 2.5). Sam had “consistently” actively screwed things up on a large-Castiel-like scale twice in 9 seasons. The other screw-ups were because he was too good of a person or because someone else has done something to him that has lead to terrible consequences.

Actually, I guess we have to count Sam not closing the gates of hell, as if that would have worked out in our favour on this never ending tragedy of a show even if he’d done it. Still, I guess he didn’t “succeed” in dying on an errand thst probably would have backfired on the world anyway. But, in this case he actually would have succeeded (and did in the first 3 trials) if Dean hadn’t stopped him. Dean begged him not to complete the last trial so he wouldn't kill himsrlf, so if this is one of Sam’s screw-ups, it’s Dean’s too. And I’m not even inclined to count it as one because, as I said, it probably wouldn’t have had the resulted in anything good if the gates were closed. But, if I must add it, Sam’s tally is 3.5 large mistakes in 9 + years.

Castiel, you’re kind of an asshole.

(Before anyone comes at me, if you bother to read this far, I know Sam (and Dean, and everyone) makes lots of smaller mistakes, but for the purposes of my rebuttal to Castiel’s point, I’m only focused on big world-ending, or in other ways personally devastating, mistakes.)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

love all your thoughts on eridan so much!! ive had erikar as a passive concept in my head since i started slowly rereading homestuck, bit i never invested as much thought into it...it makes a LOT of sense.

very curious on your thoughts on eridan and nepeta, if you have any? i dont really see much around of the two of them and how they may act around each other (most likely because, iirc, they have basically no substantial interaction in the comic....) but its a concept ive twisted around in my head a little.

Hahah, one of my friends is a Nepeta roleplayer, so we have hashed this OUT. Basically, I think if they talked a bit more, under the right circumstances, they might try pitch for a bit, but resolve to normal friendship. TL;DR, at the end of the day, they just don't really have anything to particularly hate about each other, or to particularly love, but I think they'd make for really good friends actually, if Eridan gets his shit together and Nepeta comes out of her shell a little more. She might wind up having to play auspice for him because... he has a lot of problems... and as a Heart player, with more proximity to him, she'd realize "oh, wait, he's not that bad, hes just mentally fucking ill," and there are people on the team who would not give him that kind of grace.

Flushed is pretty canonically off the table - despite having hit on her several times, Eridan seems to have accepted the rejection, and Nepeta herself comments that it always came off as "cr33py and insincere", which it probably was - he's clearly not over Feferi, and has a kind of "please god anyone would be fine I just don't want to be alone" vibe. Nepeta is definitely looking for more sincerity than that, and although Eridan's Type is very much cheerful, bubbly, nice girls (what he thinks Feferi is), I think they're pretty incompatible overall.

His antics and Emotional Issues would probably be super taxing on Nepeta long-term, he'd wind up in a million fights with protective Equius (Eridan is a crazed murderer even just objectively), and he's really not a particularly kind or pleasant person.

Meanwhile, although he's basically willing to go along with anything that'll get him attention, I think he'd be very puzzled by Nepeta's expectations that he do Romantic Things, or otherwise adhere to certain romantic tropes and social norms, which he can't do; when this inevitably leads to hurt feelings, his response to perceived danger is "fight," so he'd probably end up making it worse. So! Flushed is flushed. Down the load gaper, I mean.

Trying on pitch, I think if Nepeta was already a little bit out of her shell - say, Equius has died, or she's otherwise locked in a SGRUB dungeon with him, or something like that - she and he would come to blows over Eridan's performative casteism. Nepeta's the anti-casteism troll, after all, and if she's worked up enough, she's quite spirited and opinionated, and Eridan is down for anything, so it would be something I can absolutely see forming.

Actually, hilariously, when my friend and I RP'd this out, Nepeta wound up with a pitch crush, and Eridan wound up with a FLUSHED crush, because he was THAT BAD at differentiating between good and bad attention. Nepeta was totally floored, she was like, dude i was calling you stupid and terrible??? how the fuck did you interpret that as FLUSHED??? and eridan was like i dont know... maybe... i might have mental illness......

The problem is, I don't see their pitched dalliance lasting, for two main reasons - the first is that Eridan wouldn't hate Nepeta long-term, even if he can work up some caliginous energy because he's desperate; she's too genuinely nice and kind and he loves nice and kind people. Similarly, Nepeta wouldn't be able to hate Eridan the more she got to know him - since he's kind of the least casteist highblood, despite his initial impression, she would lose her fundamental reason for opposing him, and would instead start going "oh god, hes so traumatized, he's like that because he's really messed up inside."

The second is because I think they're dangerous for each other, physically. Eridan is a volatile highblood with severe emotional problems and a bodycount in the thousands, and Nepeta is very reckless in the face of danger; I can genuinely see them going a little too hard and Eridan getting a bit of a highblood buzz and winding up severely injuring Nepeta, which he would feel completely fucking terrible about, and then not allow himself to ACT like he feels terrible about it. Even if they stay in the relationship, it would kill his vibe, since when he isn't on an outright murder spree, he doesn't want to hurt his friends ("wwhat kind of friend wwould i be"). And that's not even factoring in how much EQUIUS would flip out over it.

I also don't think Nepeta is particularly equipped to deal with Eridan's problems, even if she does recognize and sympathize with them more than most on their team. Although she'd have more success than others, I think it'd leave her exhausted, because Eridan is exhausting. A Heart player obsessed with true feelings and sincerity and genuineness is just a bad match for the kid who's 90% façade.

So, ultimately, I think they'd resolve to really good friends, and Nepeta might wind up being a middle leaf for Eridan in an auspicetism situation, since Eridan... tends to draw aggro, and Nepeta at least would care about him enough that she doesn't want to see him get killed (even in the comic, as Nepetasprite, she expresses sadness that Eridan is dead, although she doesn't seem to know about his murders).

Eridan is also a roleplayer, lest we forget, and if Nepeta is able to draw out rare flashes of genuineness, they do have a bunch in common - she could commiscerate with him over the thrill of the hunt (although she'd have to be careful not to get too into the weeds about the, uh, Troll Murder aspect), RP with him (in a safe environment), or gossip about romance. They're both pretty painfully sincere people at their core, so while I ultimately don't see them being particularly romantically compatible, I do really love the idea of them being close friends. If only Eridan didn't always make things Fucking Weird.

And also since I really love pitch FefNep, Nepeta becoming friends with Eridan would help fuel her hate dates with Feferi - ":33 < do you even realize how messed up killing lusii fur YOU left him???" "W)(at would you )(ave preferred, t)(at my lusus went )(ungry and krilled everybody? 3X0"

[katatonicimpression]

🥋

Sambucky Prompt Game!

Thank you Sian! This took ages I'm sorry but hopefully you'll like it! Last drabble, but certainly not least (because it's the best prompt actually)

Sam was good at what he does for a reason. He trained hard, and he trained smart.

The trick is to always train with people better than you. People who were stronger, faster, had tricks that you didn’t. No one ever got better at anything by prioritising their own ego. If you’re willing to lose in training - when it doesn’t matter - then maybe you’ve got what it takes to win in the field every time.

So, Sam liked a sparring partner with super strength and super-training, and Bucky was normally a perfect choice.

If he wasn’t being so weird.

“Come on, one more round,” Sam said, out of breath but still full of energy.

And Bucky looked - well, he almost looked annoyed with Sam, which wouldn’t be new. But there was something under it, something a little worked up, a little bit rough. Like he wanted to win. He nodded.

They circled each other. Sam stayed light on his feet, not quite hopping like a boxer would. Meanwhile Bucky’s body language was more relaxed, more solid. He knew that if Sam rushed him, it’d be like tackling a brick wall.

In the last round, Sam had surprised him by opening with a high kick. That wouldn’t work twice in a row.

So instead he went low, slamming his heel down on Bucky’s instep. They were both barefoot, but he knew it would still hurt like hell, he followed with a quick jab to the gut, not as hard as he would normally hit, because this was just training after all, but hard enough to give him a shock. Sam wanted to win too.

He was a split second too slow to get away, and Bucky grabbed his arm with his left. He twisted Sam round, twisted the arm behind his back and reached around his front, locking him in place.

Sam squirmed in his hold. Once again, the comparison with a brick wall came to mind. This time it was basically spooning him.

Then Bucky moved, shifting his body back away from Sam so that they were touching less. 

Sam didn’t know why, maybe he felt awkward about how he was basically grinding on Sam’s ass, or maybe he was just adjusting his footing. Either way it gave him an advantage, allowing Sam to fall forward and roll to the side, bringing them both to the floor.

The whole thing descended into a messy wrestle. Legs kicking, hands gripping.

A thud as Sam’s elbow hit the mat hard.

A shout when that same elbow collided with Bucky’s solar plexus.

The whirring of vibranium gears.

Really, though, it was two large sweaty men rolling around on the mat together, grabbing each other, holding each other. Something that Sam tended to be in favour of in any context. 

Although, as Sam managed to roll Bucky over and straddle him, pinning down his shoulders, he started to think maybe Bucky had a problem with it.

Because he wasn’t even trying, just like before he awkwardly shifted. Sam was getting tired of this. Hell, if he could keep his own shit together and keep training with one of the hottest guys he knew, then surely Bucky could. And anyway, Bucky wasn’t even-

Oh.

Sam stopped, let go of Bucky’s shoulders and sat back. And, yeah, maybe he should have noticed.

Maybe he should have noticed the way Bucky looks at him, stares at him half the time.

Maybe he should have noticed the fact that this guy had been following him around like a puppy for months.

Maybe he should have noticed how weird he was being about everything.

For a second, they just looked at each other. Breath heavy, chests rising and falling.

Sam broke the silence.

“Do something.” 

Anything, please. Please, Bucky just do something.

And he did, he sat up, pulled Sam’s face towards him and kissed him.

[pigswithwings]

can we hear about harley

i don't know enough about harley to go on a full rant but he does make me wild. harley any pronouns and iris she/they btw. harley belongs to my close friend and mutual @/mitebitmurderous who knows much more about what makes her tick. but anyways i can tell you about harleys relationship to iris if't please you!

so i think in the last post i just sent out, i explained that harley and iris work together. i don't know if i mentioned that two work together at a gas station convenience store at the wee hours of the morning/night, which basically ensures they are alone for a good deal of the shift. but anyways you know how iris sucks and doesnt know how to be a normal person around other people? harley is that but in the other direction.

harley is like. trying so hard to be a normal person while also being fucked up bad from never being acknowledged as more than a tool or a mannequin. so in a sort of mirror to how iris will deny or resist attempts to care about her, harley is a person who devotes a lot of time to trying to get people to like him. and this is where the mirroring comes in, she's pulling out all the stops mimicking other people's behavior because that usually helps get people to like you. unfortunately iris is sort of an asshole (being habitually standoffish and uncaring as possible to not develop any feelings) so therefore harley also must be sort of an asshole right back to her. and this is why they suck and are horrible for each other.

but also the reason neither of them give up on each other, the reason iris doesn't just quit (besides needing the money) and the reason harley doesn't leave is because they both offer something new to each other. they may or may not necessarily Need each other, but harley and iris both need something that the other gives or represents. iris remembers one of harley's allergies once and harley just sort of jumps on that incident because nobody's done that before, nobody's cared enough to really remember things about it or try and help it and that's what makes them want to keep coming back to working with iris. meanwhile miss named-after-a-flower finds harley incredibly disconcerting but tries so hard figure out why harley is so consistent/persistent, why they keep trying to ask her to go places or give her things and why they're the only person she knows who will react right back with her same level of aggression (fucked up and finds it more comfortable to be arguing with a coworker than standing in silence). so they're both very regular members of society and we have to explode the two of them

[amimuu]

hii i want to say i love ur art and ur au and im really curious about how lamb and nari's relationship are in these one.

HELLO!!! First of all, thank you so much!!! It makes me super happy knowing people are enjoying my art and my au :]

Second of all…Oh boy you have no idea how much I wanted to talk abt this. It’s an ABSOLUTE mess.

Will they eventually realize they are in love w/each other? Yes. But for now these two idiots don’t know how to communicate properly.

Basically it’s like the usual fanon interpretation of pre-relationship Narilamb, but in reverse. Lamb is the one who tries to avoid Nari’s company as much as possible, while Nari is the one following Lamb around and trying to start conversations and stuff. To everyone else they just walk around in silence together for a big part of the day, only stopping it when either of them gets a follower request, or when they are crusading together

Lamb normally acts like they don’t care for Nari, rejecting any gifts that he might give them and overall being bland whenever he tries to start a convo. However, they always make sure he is taking proper care of himself. Yeah, he doesn’t need to eat or sleep but it’s also not good that he overworks himself or is reckless during crusades. Lamb has more than once taken a hit in his place. But if you ask them they’ll deny it, and probably put you in the pillory for a couple hours.

Meanwhile Nari….he’s kind of a simp. Well no. But he is trying really hard to get along with Lamb and make up to them for going back in his words. So, he uses the one way to show appreciation that he knows of. Offerings, or well, gifts. Normally rejected, but he keeps doing it. He actually quite enjoys their walks in silence. Makes him feel less lonely.

It’s kind of like, “I don’t want to see your face but I’ll put a blanket on your shoulders if I notice you get cold” x “I know things can’t be as they were before but at least you are still here”

Fun stuff :]

[thehuntfortrencherlostmedia]

The Mediocre Fairy Tale, Ever After - A Marianas Trench Retrospective

Med… mediocre? Cody…. What do you mean? Ever After is their best album! It’s the album that made me discover the band! How the fuck is it mediocre?

Oh boy. It’s time to get controversial here and to admit my true feelings: I feel Ever After is the weakest Trench album overall. Why? It copies a little too much of Masterpiece Theatre in terms of the tracklist and in this case the second go around didn’t always produce their best work.

This isn’t to say Ever After doesn’t have its moments or even some of the best songs in the bands history. Up until A Normal Life, Ever After was my favourite of the bands openers, immediately setting the fairy tale tone of the album. It’s basically the outline of the story the rest of the tracks will go over in song form, while also the song that places Josh in Toy Land.

Then, we immediately go into Haven’t Had Enough, the first song off this record I ever heard. And I love this song. It always gets me in a good mood… but I did start to notice the lack of rock…

Then we have By Now, which brings in an acoustic guitar & shows how the band could’ve done a more up tempo version of Beside You. This song was a single but feels like it’s both forgotten by the fans & yet also overrated at the same time.

Then we have our first mis-step, the R&B inspired Truth & Dare. While I love how the song is about Josh & Carolina playing Cat & Mouse with one another… Josh has definitely done a better job at this type of track later on. Also… this is when it got me that the album was gonna be very POP focused.

Then we get to Desperate Measures, another song that shows the band knows how to write good radio tracks. The issue is… we’ve focused on Josh & Carolina screwing with one another on the last song. Did we need another going over that Carolina is so desperate for Josh to be her King?

And… well… we have Porcelain next. The first time I heard this… I didn’t get it at all. Now? It’s perfect in its simplicity. This is how you do a good slow ballad with buildup.

BUT… DID WE REALLY NEED ANOTHER RIGHT AFTER?

Fallout. The most divisive track among Trenchers besides maybe Your Ghost? It got overplayed so much that for a few years I couldn’t listen to it. Now? It’s fine. Sadly, Wildfire used the same elements better.

And now… we have our “let’s loosely copy the back half of Masterpiece Theatre for the rest of the album!” batch of tracks.

Stutter takes the swing elements brought up on Sing Sing & amplified them into a very catchy earworm that I adore. The last S tier song on the album.

Toy Soldiers feels very much like it wanted to be a single but the band got cold feet. I feel like the music video for it would’ve been totally zany, much like Celebrity Status’s. Besides that, the two songs don’t have that much in common.

And then we have our Perfect clone, B Team… which is… eh? Josh is finally confessing his feelings to Porcelain after defeating Carolina & she’s unsure about him, given her relationship with the King. I get why it’s here but it feels like cold feet for no real reason.

So Soon meanwhile wishes it was Lover Dearest. Instead, it’s their mopiest ballad & just lacklustre. A true B - of a track.

And then you got No Place Like Home. I don’t think it’s controversial to say this is the bands weakest closer, and that includes both CTM & Fix Me’s closers. They tried to copy the “let’s use elements from other songs” shtick from MT Pt. 3 & NPLH jist doesn’t quite stick the landing for me. It’s a good end to the story as a whole, but one where I go… that’s it?

But here’s the thing: when I’m in the mood to put on Ever After, I love the narrative throughout the songs tell with each leading into the other, pushing the narrative forward. It makes this slightly weaker batch of songs more powerful as a whole rather than separate songs.

It’s also a great record about how Josh is head over heels in love with Amanda despite the obvious road bumps in their relationship that led to utter heartbreak… and longing for childhood nostalgia.

It’s time now, Astoria…

[cartoon-buffoon]

Random rambles from Toon Buffoon time! So for no particular reason at all I'm gonna go on about an Epic Mickey AU idea I've been planning yet will probably only fully commit to writing once I play Epic Mickey Rebrushed as I actually have no formal experience with Epic Mickey—1 and 2—as I've not played them and know only the surface level plot, crucial events, and characters. Sorry, I'm a classic Oswald fan (disgusting I know)

Anywho the actual AU name is named "Blood & Ink"! And originates from a fic of main from the same name, the fic itself is a setup and an introduction to the AU and tells some crucial details of what's going on in the world. For instance the world of wasteland is going into ruin, Mickey has mysteriously "abandoned" Oswald and wasteland for quite some time, Oswald has the magic brush, and he ventures out to a land tucked away in the deepest corner of wasteland in order to call on the help of powerful creatures to save his world from total disaster only for said creatures to quickly go "lmao, no" and turn on him.

Now for a quick briefing on the AU as I'll avoid going super in depth and I'll hit the key things: The antagonists species' name is called "Terrors", and there are 4 (technically 5) of them. Also wanna note the Terrors aren't original characters and are just my favorite rubberhose horror characters as this is kinda a crossover AU. The 4 terrors are the Cartoon Dog & Cat, Skitzo the 1920s Killer Bear, and Bendy/The Ink Demon and they are neither toon nor human, they do have hearts but not normal ones due to their fame being dark and they aren't made of paint or thinner—like the name of the AU their bodies and hearts are made of blood & Ink, two substances which puts them on a higher plane of power making them effectively godlike compared to toons. Each of them have a unique ability exclusive to them whilst also having some sort of basic toon force like squash and stretch and exaggerated physics. The powers themselves come from a mysterious force in this AU (and this is an original idea!) which are basically corrupted versions of the tints and turps in EM, these malicious trickster spirits are called clots and clods which are red and black respectively representing blood and ink and are chaotic neutral, they give the Terrors powers because it entertains them and nothing more and just like to watch chaos be sown. The idea behind Terrors is also something I came up with where instead of being forgotten and ending up like Oswald and the rest of all the Wasteland denizens who are forgotten toons, the Terrors are creatures—once toons—who are unwillingly remembered by people. People wish to forget them yet can't due to the atrocities behind them, they unwillingly live on in the psyche of the public being not exactly popular but CERTAINLY not forgotten. Said atrocities are also caused via them becoming hateful and bitter, this kinda gives them a parallel to Oswald who was also bitter yet the difference is Oswald resented his brother who he believed took his spot meanwhile the Terrors resent their creators and the people who watched them. Each of the Terrors do have an original backstory for this AU yet that's way to complex to talk about and super long winded.

On the other side of the coin this AU also has Oswald be the main character where he's extremely bitter since the events of this AU take place after the first game (maybe after the second one as well yet I haven't fully decided?) either way he believes that Mickey left them since he's been gone for so long and things mysteriously started to fall apart abruptly. All that progress from the first game effectively means nothing and does little more than sting Oswald since he firmly believes that despite going through EVERYTHING he was still inevitably left to be forgotten which is kinda why he seeks out the Terror's help in the first place. Seeking out their help goes horribly wrong however and in this AU Oswald effectively gets murdered by them only to come back to life with the power of the clots and clods and he's given powers which are basically toon force except suped up and there's no limit to what he can and can't do. The only draw back being he feels EVERYTHING that his body goes through and has no actual resistance, for example he can stretch his limbs yet he physically feels like his skin and body is being stretched out. He can do basically anything as long as he can tough it out for the sake of finishing a fight. Also as part Terror he gains the ability to actually hurt the creatures he summoned and this is where the main part of the AU starts where it's a quest to stop the chaos he awoke.

Alright ramble over, this is a stupid overly edgy concept that only exists because I like crossovers and apocalyptic scenarios/scenes. There's a lot more to talk about such as Oswald's personality shifting due to his new powers and body, Mickey's role in the entire thing and why he "left", the Terror's unique backstory and lore explanation on why they do what they do, the Terror's personality and dynamics with one and another, their powers. As well as a few side characters who are kinda important in helping Ozzie. Idk I'm tired now AU ramble over.

[nerogurl]

Hi my friend 🥰 are the funger matchup requests still ongoing? If not, you can delete my ask, I won’t be mad!

I’m 20, INFJ, pan and she/they. (So I like all genders.) I have bad social anxiety and I’m really shy, but I always try to be positive and I’m trying to improve in that aspect. I still get told I come across as really timid. I spend a lot of time online 😞 that’s where I make most of my friends hshfgsd

I’m an artist, I like to draw traditionally, paint, digital art and I write too. One of my hobbies is journaling, but I also write fiction. I’ve wrote like…. 13 fear and hunger fics on AO3. I also like to sing (used to be in choir back in high school, I also took singing/piano lessons since I was a kid). Basically I like anything creative. I also like to bake, read, I used to do ballet but now I have some health problems that make me pretty weak.

I’m pretty normal. My favorite things are horror games, movies, books…. I know a looot of them. Horror games are my favorite though. I’ll basically play any horror game even if it sucks.

My favorite color is green, my favorite food is any sweet food, my favorite flowers are roses and my favorite animals are seals, but I like all animals. I don’t know if you even take appearance into account, but I’m 5’6, I have long black hair w bangs, I wear glasses and I usually dress in dark clothing (brown or black). Also I have green eyes.

Thank youuuu 😚

Nosramus might have an enigmatic presence but they see themselves as 'just an alchemist'. Forever remaining humble knowing there's always something new to learn. They would appreciate your versatility in the creative field, much like their versatility in academics.

I believe both you and Nos share the INFJ personality type, which is perfect for observing the science and art all around you. You both take turns being each other's muses, talking about your respective work and ideas throughout the day, deep into the night. Truth is stranger than fiction. Especially in Nosramus's field of work, they like to tell you bizarre stories about the occult and history, that goes on to help inform your art.

Enlightenment is not just a lifestyle but a philosophy based on values such as equality; pursuing science as a virtue, it's good to know how discoveries will go on to affect actual people. Much like how they study ancient civilisations of the lizardmen, learning about different societies helps with their scientific insight. Discussing your art and favourite media, the conflicts and world building create thought experiment, that help them to consider new perspectives for their research. 

Although, their research delves into the occult, they live quite a mundane existence. If you take away the surrealism of the dungeons, the motions they go through in their daily life lead quite a typical domestic lifestyle.

Studying at home, going out to harvest food and maintaining a civil relationship with neighbours, such as the lizardmen. Meanwhile, harvesting mushrooms, like we see them kneeled down in the caves, means they have a love of fauna that parallels your love of roses. Having to walk on water to access one of their laboratories, means they've probably befriended the salmonsnakes.

You two spend your day living an extraordinary ordinary domestic life. Copying the same type of relationship a trainer at a zoo might have with a seal, you two spend time by the rivers edge feeding the sea creatures, when you're not going out for a stroll. Investigating the plant life for your respective favourite flowers and mushrooms, by the end of your walks Nosramus likes to hand you little flower arrangements.

Levi shared timid nature draws you both to similar social circles. Eliminating a layer of social anxiety by talking to people online. You'd find each oother through discord, reddit, Tumblr, ect. Sharing similar interests, your relationship would be a slow burn of the little moments. Small conversations here and there in the same forums; building up to mutuals, then friends. The close proximity of your relationship providing a sense of comfort, with being able to skip the awkwardness of learning each other's ticks.

Seeking thrill and catharsis through the same places, horror and music, allows you to bond through quality time. You don't always need to fill in the silence with conversation. Instead, most of your time is spent playing games or listening to music together. 

Although you cannot dance the conventional way, you can still dance to the rhythm by using your voice and playing the piano. Levi can be found lamenting by the piano in the Prehevil Bop club his inability to play. If he hadn't been conscripted as a child, music would be the perfect escape for the dysfunctional home life that would lead a modern Levi to drug abuse. Especially since Levi and you with your timid nature, struggle with verbally expressing your emotions. Sharing so much of your life together, you two duet, in and out of music.

Tldr; Levi & Nosramus are your matches, but overall I think that Levi is your best match.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey I’ve been thinking about this a little bit lately but I wanted to get your opinion on who you believe believe fell in love first, Killua or Gon. However, I’m going to go into a bit more depth with this ask then that because I actually don’t like how that question is formulated, I only start off that way because it’s how I see most people ask it.

The reason I don’t really like the world choice for the question is that ‘fell in love’ implies consciousness awareness of feelings and the significance of them. I think that if we are dealing with CONSCIOUS feelings of love or just romantic feelings in general it will be a totally different answer from unconscious one’s.

So basically I’ll ask you both of those then. Who do you think unconsciously fell first and who consciously did? I see a lot of debate of this in the fandom but I think most people talk right past each other without clarifying this.

So yeah, I’m curious what you think.

Personally I’ve always been pretty convinced that Killua fell in love consciously first, I think the events and meaning of CAA support this pretty well, but I do believe that Gon probably did unconsciously develop romantic feelings first. However, I don’t think there’s really any indication that I’ve seen (and I’m fairly sure I would have by now if it exists) in the text or subtext that Gon recognizes what those feelings are. In fact, Togashi makes it very clear on many occasions throughout the series that Gon has very little grasp of understanding when it comes to romance, relationships, intimacy or anything of the sort while Killua very clearly does (I won’t elaborate further on this here but there are many examples I could show you if you’d like more details).

While most people point how Gon repeatedly asserts strong feelings towards Killua I believe that Togashi is rather showing us how Gon feels these strong emotions without fully understanding them or why, and that if we was consciously aware of romantic feelings he’d be very unlikely to hold them back.

And of course, I feel that it’s heavily implied that Gon’s next arc/development will be him realizing how much Killua means to him (something more important), especially since Killua already has his own gay realization arc and was left heartbroken.

Anyway that’s just my thoughts on the subject, I’m curious what you think!

Thank you so much for sending me an ask again, I'm always glad to talk HxH more with you!

Here are two previous posts I made on this topic, one on when I think they fell in love with each other and another on how I think about Gon's feelings specifically. Of course, I'm happy to elaborate more because I'm always happy to talk more about these two!

I totally agree with you, and I think my posts I linked above can essentially be boiled down to what you're saying--that Gon started falling for Killua first (fairly early on even, I'd argue), but he doesn't currently understand what the feelings are or what they mean exactly. Meanwhile, Killua fell unconsciously a little later, but he starts understanding the meaning of the feelings he's having earlier because he's more aware of the larger context of romance, and he's also more of a contemplative/introspective type. In Chimera Ant Arc especially, it seems like he is aware (to some degree or another) of the nature of his feelings for Gon.

I've talked quite a bit about canon reasons for why I see their feelings being this way, but here's a bit more of my personal feelings on how I think it develops for them.

Gon likes and admires Killua right away, and thinks he's cool and amazing even when he's doing things that would scare most people. I think the beginnings of a crush on Killua develop early on, sometime during the Hunter Exam before Gon goes on his do-or-die mission to rescue Killua from his family. Gon has grown up with very little exposure to other kids his age, so it makes sense that, even if his feelings do go beyond what's "normal" for friendship, it's difficult for him to separate that out or know what the limits are. If his feelings for Killua are intense, it's because they're best friends, of course! Because of his lack of anything to compare it to, it's easy for him to just assume it falls into these normal categories, especially with his straightforward personality. Gon isn't completely unaware--he's smart, and I think there are likely moments where he notices his feelings towards Killua and recognizes that they're different than the feelings he has towards other friends, but it's easy for him to brush it aside or not get all the way to a conclusion because he doesn't have all the puzzle pieces together yet.

I agree that the way he declares his feelings is a good indicator of the strength of his feelings, though--and this is something Togashi emphasizes time and time again. Also the degree to which he trusts and relies on Killua is important. As friendly and sometimes trusting as Gon can be with his other friends and people he meets, his bond with Killua is clearly different to him--it's a partnership where they mutually support each other, and I don't think he would be comfortable with that degree of reliance with anyone who isn't Killua. Gon is often trying to prove himself and prove his usefulness to others to soothe his self esteem issues, so I think allowing Killua to be useful to him instead (i.e. Greed Island dodgeball match) is a form of vulnerability to Gon.

He's also just so proud of Killua and grateful that he's in his life.

I agree that I think Gon's next arc is going to be realizing the significance of and finding his way back to Killua, and I also agree that once he's aware of these feelings he probably won't hold them back, especially if he thinks Killua is ready to hear them.

For Killua, of course he hasn't lived a normal life with normal friendships either, but because his parents are married and he's lived with siblings of various ages (including whatever media his family exposes him to, etc.), he has more awareness of romance/relationships/intimacy like you were saying, and like I've also said before. He's also been out in the world more and presumably observed and learned more about society, even if it was within the context of training and/or assassinations.

With Killua, my headcanon is that he has an inkling of what these feelings are for a long time with his more in-depth knowledge and the fact that he's so reflective and analytical, but I think he spends a lot of time denying what they are to himself (even though he Knows) and resisting them because it's scary and awkward to him. I think it's something he grapples with, tries to keep under control, sometimes manages to push down for a little while, and then in the end the feelings always get the better of him and he keeps having to come to grips with his lack of control over them. He's ultimately just consumed by them, unfortunately with terrible timing in Chimera Ant Arc.

I actually think Gon might have some idea that Killua's feelings for him are really deep and that it somehow goes beyond the normal friendship (even best friendship) category even if he doesn't entirely know what that means or fully recognize the meaning of those same feelings in himself; and I think Killua might be aware of these feelings and what they mean to some degree, but have the (mistaken) impression caused by his own self esteem/circumstances/the fact that Gon is kind of an enigma that his specifically romantic feelings are definitely one-sided/something that can't be reciprocated and he just has to suffer with them alone. Both of them have issues with their own self-esteem that I think might prevent them from decoding the situation fully as things are.

Anyway, I definitely agree with you that Killua fell consciously and with awareness first, and Gon fell first unconsciously and without the awareness to fully understand what's going on. Thanks again for your thoughtful ask and patiently waiting for me to get back to you as always!

[lizzychanstuffss]

Because I am feral for pre-game durge x Gortash cause villains in love that I don't actually have to roleplay is very fun for me to write about!

here are my headcanons for each of my Durges and their relationship with Gortash was.

Spoilers for the entirety of dark urge

Lilith x Gortash

Lilith has very low self esteem which stays a constant even when the game starts, yes this is because she sees herself as nothing but a monster. But oh boy Gortash came into the picture he started to compliment her and most likely told her "You know you aren't a monster they think you are" and she was so desperate to hear that from ANYONE that she ate it up

Like the whole plan to take over the sword coast and such was given to her by bhaal and she just figured "Okay I'll do it if it gets you off my back" and then Gortash most likely pitied her cause she didn't have anyone to talk to about stuff and just ended up opening up to Gortash and he probably felt bad that she was just kind of doing this so she could maybe have a normal life.

Lilith fully would sometimes use the excuse of "Gortash told me not to kill that person" so bhaal wouldn't punish her. It's not like bhaal is going to ruin the whole plan just cause Lilith is lying so she doesn't have to kill someone like that would be stupid.

After sometime of spending time together and just spending late nights talking and getting to know each other and several glasses of wine most likely or whatever other drinks. the two of them fuck and then Lilith confesses she feels quite deeply for the man, prompting Gortash to of course brush it off at first cause they're drunk.

After a while, though the two can no longer deny their feelings and start up a relationship they keep on the down low for the most part. Also keeping it on the down low in case things fall horribly apart either because of bhaal or some other reason they are both aware that this could go horribly wrong but it's something they both enjoy and don't want to let go of quite yet.

Of course it does go horribly wrong in a way neither could predict, and what makes it worse is Lilith was going to forsake the entire plan and just ask Gortash to marry her and run away. Now I like to imagine Orin hualed Lilith's body all the way to Gortash's office and then threw the corpse at him and Gortash heartbroken didn't know what to do so he tried his best to make it better and basically her corpse sent off to the colony in hopes that maybe one of the necromancers would raise her from the dead and well his wishes came true.

During this time that Lilith goes full feral he comes to visit her under the guise of just making sure things are going smoothly all the while just taking his time to mourn the loss of his lover. Now during this time I fully believe that Lilith had a note with a ring ready to give Gortash and he actually found it on Lilith's body and has kept it ever since.

Now onto the other pairing who is way more chill then Lilith is

Siliin(she/they) x Gortash

Siliin does have self-esteem issues but this is mainly whenever they get into the main game. Otherwise they just cant be bothered to look down on herself.

She concocted the plan by herself and started to put the plan into motion before realizing they needed help and then finding Gortash. Realizing the two of them work together well fully welcomed him into the fray soon after.

Siliin is more of a freak in actual weird fucked up ways then Lilith is and Siliin really isn't as disgusted by their urges as Lilith is. Like Siliin likes to indulge sometimes while Lilith will indulge but more out of habit then actually want to. Meanwhile Siliin they enjoy the fucked up shit, yeah you wanna eat this flesh off a corpse hell yeah brother they're all for it you go!

Now Siliin is not evil by any means, yeah she's fucked up in the brain but like she's not really going to go out of her way to be a bad person cause it just isn't what she feels like doing. Like besies the urges she has no real drive to do evil things.

Now Siliin also doesn't have a drive to really do good things either and therefore that's kind of why they work as a the dark urge cause they just do whatever is easiest and submitting to the urges is easier then fighting of course once they get into the game they actually do put in a little more effort.

Most of their lack comes from the fact they are constantly depressed about their life, but Gortash comes into the fray and suddenly they actually feel like they have a reason to keep on going. Like they don't know what it is about this guy that gives them the energy to keep going but she really likes it.

Like Siliin enjoys their late night talks and meetings and wine nights together. Eventually Siliin realizes that she has fallen for the guy, they don't really mind of course they just keep it to themselves for a while.

Until one day they are talking to someone and she gets asked what she thinks of Gortash and Siliin just gets really excited actually about getting to gush over her favorite person. Gortash overhears and realizes that Siliin might like him a little to much.

They two have a talk and Siliin admits to feelings right off the bat and Gortash accepts these feelings admitting he's been feeling the same and the two agree to start a courtship of sorts or as much of one as they can have.

They are having little dates and late-night walks together and sharing chaste kisses fairly wholesome stuff and then they go back to his home and they have some baller sex. Like full of passion and kisses and just all-around pretty good.

Then fast forward Siliin starts to just not care about the plan anymore and just wants to leave it all behind and run away with Gortash, now this time Siliin does end up telling Gortash the plan and he cant agree to it. They are to far in the plan for this to happen and this sends Siliin into a deeper depression than they already were making them an easy target for Orin.

Now Gortash doesn't visit Siliin like he did Lilith cause he cant bare to face her, cause he fully blames himself for the state Siliin has gotten in.

[my-current-obsession]

Winter’s Wish: Spirits of Edo - Final Thoughts

HEADS UP - below the read more, I’ll have spoilers for EVERY route in the game!

I enjoyed this game quite a lot, though I don’t absolutely love it by any means. PERSONALLY I’d put it at about the level of Olympia Soiree - so it’s pretty good and I’ll come back to it occasionally, but it doesn’t measure up to my favorites.

That said I liked the unique elements of the story - vessels, formfolk, blightfall - and how they were handled... for the most part. I feel like the story somehow hits both ends of the spectrum in being VERY logically thought out/developed and making good use of foreshadowing... and yet sometimes there are things that don’t make sense at all or seem contradictory. There’s also a bit of a consistency problem in how certain characters and issues are handled depending on the route. I’ll get into that a bit in the spoilers.

My play order was Genjuro > Kinji > Kunitaka > Tomonari > Yoichi > Ohtaro.

Common Route(s): While I was partially disappointed to have to immediately narrow down my route choice to two guys (or rather, ONE guy except for Castle Town due to two routes being locked initially), I did enjoy seeing the different stories play out and how Suzuno was utilized differently each time. The “pre” route split also gave the story more time to get her closer to each love interest, IMO.

I appreciated that she was taught to fight in the Castle Town route, which then carried forward to her contributing a bit more in battle for Yoichi and Genjuro. It’s a shame she couldn’t fight in the other routes, but thankfully they found other ways for her to be useful anyway.

I’ll admit the Entertainment District route frustrated me a bit, since the conflict was so... avoidable. Yabuta cast suspicion on himself by not revealing his connection to the case and then had the audacity to get upset when everyone confronted him about after finding out the truth. Thankfully this stupidity IS pointed out at the end and he basically says he won’t make the same mistake again... but honestly an apology or acknowledgement that HE was in the wrong would have been nice, instead of treating him as justified for being secretive and then upset at the consequences to HIS OWN actions.

The Samurai Town route was surprisingly funny. The epic music and tension given to Suzuno just trying to impress the ladies and get an in with them was hilarious, as was Tenichibo immediately falling for her and outing himself as a mostly harmless loser. This route also showed another, sweeter side of Kyoshiro, which was lovely. It’s a shame that only carried into Tomonari’s route and not Kunitaka’s.

Genjuro: This route was a sweet and wholesome slowburn. I could really tell they were getting closer as time passed, and it was clear Genjuro was starting to open up and depend on Suzuno for guidance. I also think this route probably handled the vessel issue the best. More than anyone else, Genjuro starts out like what I expected a heartless, memory-less person to be - aloof and focused entirely on his mission. Several other vessels just seem too... emotive, right from the start - and to be fair there ARE reasons for some of those (which I’ll get to) but in some cases I can’t figure out where their depth of perception and emotion is coming from.

Meanwhile you can SEE the transition with Genjuro from being focused on his work (while still devoted to the people of Edo) to starting to feel more. First comes the reveal of how much time and effort he’s put into interacting as casually/normally as he does with people - and to be clear he’s still pretty awkward, showing that despite his progress he still has a long way to go - and then he slowly gets anxious and upset about essentially being on house arrest, but as a vessel, he needs Suzuno to RECOGNIZE what’s he’s feeling and help him understand and work through it. Long before his seal breaks, you can see he’s slowly starting to feel and certain emotions are bleeding through.

If I have one complaint, it’s just that he could have used one or two more “romantic” scenes to justify the ending. I feel like their relationship jumped from around 60 to 100, really quick. Even just giving them a few more minutes to interact after the seal on his heart broke and indicating then that he DID have feelings for her (that he hadn’t fully felt/recognized until now, of course) before Hanzo showed up would've been enough. As-is, I personally found the big romantic declarations of love and wanting to be together forever to be just a tad unearned.

Kinji: So this seems to be a bit of a hot take but I didn’t really care for his route. Or at least, I didn’t like his relationship with Suzuno. Something about the way he interacts with and treats her just feels condescending to me. It feels like he “likes” her because she amuses/entertains him, which... I don’t find romantic. And on her end, while it’s VERY clear that Suzuno is attracted to him, it seems purely physical. She’s into his looks which is valid (he’s 100% the hottest guy in the game based on appearance alone), but it’s hard for me to take her falling for him seriously because it just feels like they haven’t bonded at all. He teases her, she gets flustered, this repeats like four more times... and suddenly she realizes she loves him. WHY?

They don’t seem to have opened up to each other at all so it doesn’t feel like there’s any reason for her to like him more; she’s just infatuated with him. I DID like him outright telling her to make him fall for her - that felt good and I thought at least his half of the romance might feel earned. But it seemed like in no time at all he was reciprocating - or rather the story suggested he was ALREADY into her by the the time he made that suggestion. And again I couldn’t see it, because to me it feels like he’s toying with her rather than CONNECTING with her.

Outside of the romance that I couldn’t get behind, I DO like other aspects of this route. I liked the espionage/spy angle of Suzuno infiltrating the brothel, as well as the makeover that came with it. And I liked Okuni quite a bit. This route was also like the only one to have a red herring for the antagonist unless we’re counting the Man Behind the Man, the true Big Bad for every route, which I’m not at this point. It was nice having to try and solve a mystery instead of having an obvious conflict to overcome from the beginning.

Kunitaka: In isolation, I think his route is very solid and I like it. Taking the entire game and other routes into account though... I have several issues. First of all, Kunitaka gets SUCH a raw deal. Even though it makes sense for the Oniwaban to doubt/suspect him considering the evidence, they take it too far - at least compared to other routes. This is where the consistency issue pops up.

In other routes, characters are trusted or forgiven for FAR WORSE considering there is NO doubt in those circumstances that they’re guilty. Yet Kunitaka is merely suspected, with NO concrete proof, and literally everyone turns on him and is ready to kill him basically immediately.

What really bothers me is that logically, this makes SENSE from the vessels at least - they wouldn’t have the hearts to truly care about/trust him, so they’d be ruthlessly logical about it (which makes their quick turnarounds/trust in OTHER routes that much more grating). As the prime suspect it makes sense to take him out. But even the HUMANS in the Oniwaban don’t give him the benefit of the doubt. This is PARTICULARLY frustrating with Yabuta, considering he’s a damn hypocrite. He suspects Kunitaka and wants to kill him WITH NO HARD EVIDENCE, yet he had the gall to be upset that the Entertainment crew was suspecting him AFTER HE WITHHELD INFORMATION from them.

Even Tomonari, who should know him best, doesn’t trust or care for him at all and ONLY joins him due to his trust in SUZUNO. It was so frustrating playing this route and having everyone doubt Kunitaka. What’s worse is that there was an opportunity for Suzuno to be (RIGHTFULLY!!!) angry towards everyone on his behalf, but instead she was just... sad and didn’t know how to think/feel about everyone. Honestly this route would have been ten times better if Kunitaka and/or Suzuno actually HELD IT AGAINST the Oniwaban instead of instantly forgiving them. Since the trust and relationship was BROKEN, they needed to EARN it back, and that didn’t happen.

My other huge issue is just that I struggle to wrap my head around Kunitaka as a vessel. Genjuro and Kinji actually do seem initially aloof/detached/etc. before they start emoting more throughout their routes, and the other three have good reasons/explanations for why they’re so emotive. But how/why is Kunitaka so emotive and perceptive? I understand that a lot of his personality is inherited from his owner, but even if he’s compelled to live a similar lifestyle I just struggle to think that without the capacity to feel and understand emotions, he’d be able to act the way he does and even more, be such a good teacher to children.

It’s also odd how... back-and-forth he is in regards to Suzuno. Sometimes he can tell what she’s feeling (such as when he deliberately tries to shut her down so she’ll stop loving him, since a relationship with a vessel wouldn’t work) but other times he’s completely dense and has to be told what she’s thinking.

Finally I have a minor nitpick - Kunitaka’s relationship with Genjuro is a fairly important part of his character and route, yet doesn’t have ANY role or importance in Genjuro’s route. Just one more way in which the poor guy is shafted.

All these complaints make me understandably ambivalent at best about Kunitaka’s route. That said... I actually DID like the romance here! Yes, it was a bit rushed in the beginning, but it made sense - due to the accidental kiss and Suzuno’s lack of experience, she fell fast and hard. But the route took a turn I’d never seen before when Kunitaka NOTICED and shut her down since he didn’t (and couldn’t) feel the same.

I genuinely liked Suzuno a lot in this route. It took a lot of determination for her to turn against everyone else to support Kunitaka, especially when she was suffering a broken heart at the time. But she KNEW it wasn’t him and she trusted him, so she willingly put herself in a painful situation to support him.

She shoved her love aside to be there as his FRIEND, and then was confident and spunky enough to reject HIM when he confessed to her. Because he’d broken her heart and she was trying to get over him, she issued him a (justified) challenge to win her over. What followed was basically a role reversed version of what I’d wanted/expected from Kinji’s route, where Kunitaka clearly started making moves and she was into it even as she tried to force her feelings down.

So yeah, I really liked the romance in this route. I also loved Tenichibo coming back and playing a big role. He’s easily my favorite non Oniwaban character. It’s a shame about... everything else.

Tomonari: Yes, I played his route before Yoichi despite him being the intended penultimate route. I actually blindly ended up on Tomonari BEFORE Kunitaka, and got pretty invested in the beginning of his route before I was forced onto the early bad end. So I was eager to get back to him as soon as possible.

By design, this route was darker than the rest. The pressure to use her power to contribute and catch the murderer BROKE Suzuno in a way nothing else in any other route did. It’s interesting they chose the poster boy’s route for her to be so weak/helpless, but it’s clearly intentional as she and Tomonari have clear arcs on this route where she has to accept what’s happened and just try to do what what she can while he has to learn to LET her try instead of sheltering her from everything and everyone that might hurt her.

Tomonari is interesting in that’s he’s pretty cold/aloof... towards literally everything except Suzuno. But his soft spot for her is clearly explained as a result of their shared past - even with his memories sealed, on some level he recognized and loved her from the start, and wanted to do everything he could for her. I appreciate that this is present in basically every route too - he consistently puts her wants and well-being above his duties in the Oniwaban, which is very NOT vessel-like behavior.

The romance is pretty well-written and believable in this route, but it IS a bit uncomfortable with the context of them kind of being raised as family. I know that physically/mentally/emotionally they’re the same age NOW but it’s weird to think Tomonari existed pretty much at the same state he is now when Suzuno was a child, and he was essentially her older brother (considering in Ohtaro’s route he explicitly calls Suzuno’s parents Mother and Father, indicating they were HIS parents too).

I also don’t know how to feel about the fact that he occasionally comes off as yandere-lite. Outside of the bad ends, his moments of jealousy/possessiveness are minor and played funny/cute enough that I can accept them, but I still recognize on some level that it’s not... good. And if he weren’t literally about to die in his sorrow end I’d be freaking out more about the way he’s rushing into sex with her as a way to “claim / leave a mark” on her”. It’s not explicitly said but I have to wonder if the implication is he’s wanting/hoping she gets pregnant (since the scene very much had a vibe of him wanting her to remember him forever, and that would leave her a lifelong reminder). If so, ironically his other bad end debunks the possibility.

On that subject, can I just say RIP Genjuro’s good ending. Since Tomonari’s bad ending heavily implies that vessels can’t reproduce, that means the desire to have kids/a family the Genjuro expresses in his good ending won’t go anywhere. This theoretically isn’t an issue for Kunitaka or Tomonari in their good endings since they turn human, but Genjuro is explicitly still a vessel since his memories are still sealed. Kinji and Yoichi are too, but at least neither of them outright says they want kids and might not get to have them.

Not to harp on my issues with Kunitaka’s route again (and I’ll do it AGAIN in Ohtaro’s route), but the Oniwaban is very quick to forgive Tomonari and Suzuno for running away. Even worse is that Yabuta specifically apparently was concerned for them and vouched for them to the shogun - even if you chose NOT to run away and thus Tomonari took matters into his own hands, which leads to a confrontation with Yabuta as opposed to him just letting you go peacefully. Once again, Kunitaka got a raw deal.

One aspect of this route I really liked was the relationship between Miharu and Kyoshiro and how they were basically a beta couple. The two are VERY different and have a long way to go towards understanding each other, but just seeing the baby steps (and comparing their strained, bickering relationship with how easy and loving Tomonari/Suzuno is) was satisfying. THAT SAID, Kyoshiro coming back to life at the end was... convenient, to say the least. He was the ONE major character to die in every route (not counting bad ends), and it got undone.

While it was emotional and I’m glad to see Miharu and the shogun so happy... his death was a very important moment for Suzuno and something that should have weighed on her forever. It’s something that she and Tomonari were partially overcoming when they defeated the blightfall, so having it just undone felt cheap. Especially when it was explicitly stated there was no chance he’d come back.

Yoichi: I ended up liking the relationship and dynamic he had with Suzuno a lot more than I initially expected. Especially since the route started on a trope I’m NOT fond of - fake dating.

Thankfully that was only a small part of the route, and even while pretending to date, the two got to have several REAL conversations. I appreciate Yoichi’s blunt and straightforward attitude, and how he helped Suzuno grow.

I really liked the twist of his route and how it sets him apart from the other vessels. Because Yoichi had his memories from the start, he can fall back on that knowledge/experience to better interact with people. Even if his own feelings are muted, he REMEMBERS emotions enough to be able to recognize (and even manipulate...) them in others and fake them himself. Even retroactively, I feel like applying what I learned about him here helped me understand his actions on OTHER routes.

When it comes to Yoichi’s feelings... that’s where the water gets muddied in the context of the game as a whole. Even at the end of the route, Suzuno can’t see his threads, which suggests that his heart is STILL sealed. However, Yoichi gets offended/upset when she suggests he can’t feel and is pretty insistent that he CAN. Also, considering how... besotted he gets once he and Suzuno actually get together, it’s hard to deny that he’s feeling something. It’s too radical a shift, and there’s no reason for him to be lying at this point.

I can understand and sympathize with the idea of “whether I have a heart/feelings is up to ME”, but when it directly contradicts literally every other route, which clearly shows the threads as an indication of having a heart, it leaves me feeling confused.

Ohtaro: My first playthrough of his route, I was ambivalent up until The Reveal, for reasons I will shortly explain. After that, though, my primary emotion, for QUITE some time, was... vindication.

I’d been suspicious of Ohtaro for quite a while, for several reasons. Some meta reasons (his route ONLY unlocking after Tomonari, who already required completing 3-4 others, was obviously notable), some legitimate foreshadowing that I caught, and some things I was actually just wrong about (in the extras menu, I was CONVINCED his flower was a spider lily, which I know is associated with death. I was surprised and embarrassed when I beat the route and discovered it was a freaking DANDELION).

I figured there had to be some reason Ohtaro’s route came AFTER the poster boy, who in games with locked routes is almost always the final route. So I knew there must be big twists/reveals, and him being a twist villain made sense. So even before hitting his route, I was on the lookout for suspicious behavior from him. I actually caught the line in the Entertainment District common route about “black threads”, but it was so brief I wasn’t sure what it meant. Since the game moved on immediately I assumed it meant everyone saw Suzuno’s power (which is true) removing the threads (false).

I found it curious that in most routes, Ohtaro just LEAVES in the good ending. I thought his behavior in Tomonari’s route was ultra convenient - pitching a fit about being tired so he could leave just before shit went down. Being “useless” against the Divine Blightfall (which the others even call out!). I was primed and READY to catch him as a villain, and by the time I actually started his route I might have been disappointed to be proven wrong.

But I WAS still second-guessing myself and open to being wrong... up until he mentioned emotional imprints. It was then that I KNEW he was hiding shit and I was READY for the reveal. And it didn’t disappoint!

I’ve never seen another otome where one of the love interests is a twist villain big bad. I’ve seen twist villains (but not the main antagonist), and I’ve seen villain love interests that weren’t hiding that they were the enemy, but this was a first. The sheer novelty made this route enticing for me.

More importantly, this reveal retroactively fixed a huge issue I’d been having with his route - namely that the relationship/romance was moving VERY FAST on his end. But that was intentional, because he’s been purposefully trying to seduce her into joining him.

And at first I couldn’t reconcile WHY he wanted her on his side so badly, since it was clear he was manipulating her into joining him rather than actually being in love with her - but why would he care so much about her joining anyway, unless he DID like her? But there was a well thought out answer for that, too. Just like Tomonari, Ohtaro is deeply connected to Suzuno, except through her mother rather than her father. And he wanted her on his side because of that connection.

I think the sorrow ending is VERY helpful/informative on this route. Even after two runs of his good ending, I couldn’t quite accept his sudden shifts in mood and how he treated Suzuno. But seeing a good chunk of his route from his POV clarified a lot. Suzuno was actually RIGHT ON THE MONEY when she asked if he wanted to be stopped long before he was willing to engage with the idea, which is why he divulged as much information as he did and why he was so easily persuaded to give up revenge. And seeing when he started to genuinely like her made the progression of their relationship work better for me too, since from Suzuno’s perspective, there is a DRASTIC shift between before and after she rescues him from the Oniwaban that was a little too sudden for me.

But knowing that he was ALREADY struggling with figuring out his feelings at that point, knowing that he DID like her - and might have thoughtlessly kissed her because HE WANTED to rather than because he thought it was what she wanted, and thus he felt rejected when she bit him - made his falling to pieces when she saved him less abrupt and more believable.

The sorrow ending also just hits really hard in a good way. It fires Chekov’s Gun (which was brought up and NOT fired in the good end) with the netsuke being broken. Tomonari’s call out to Suzuno was SO GOOD and directly points to what DOES happen in the good end where the “correct” way to love someone is not by accepting and going along with your love’s sins but rather by addressing them and trying to do better. The CG of Ohtaro literally dying while he finally acknowledges his feelings and how he wants Suzuno to be free rather than carry on his revenge is painful in the best way. And Suzuno not even realizing she’s become a blightfall (paralleling Hibie, since both turned blightfall out of losing their love) and carrying on Ohtaro’s revenge anyway without meaning to, as she searches for him. God, that ending hurt and I loved it.

Ultimately the game handled basically everything with Ohtaro REALLY well. There was plenty of foreshadowing to his “true nature” and then again there was some foreshadowing in his route of his ACTUAL true nature and wishes. The Oniwaban’s behavior also made sense in this route. Again, there was subtle foreshadowing about them learning/suspecting the truth - there’s a great moment where after Ruriko talks about feeling a pain in her neck, which the vessels assume is important, and we get a text box of Kinji saying nothing, looking concerned. Since vessels have perfect memory, he’d remember that Ohtaro touched her neck and thus would suddenly have reason to suspect him.

The Oniwaban covertly planning and attacking him out of the blue makes sense - they wouldn’t show a blightfall any mercy. I also appreciate that Kyoshiro shuts Suzuno down when she tries to defend Ohtaro or get him to allow her to talk to him again, but then he’s convinced through a logical approach - getting information about Hibie. And it makes sense that Tomonari would help her since that’s in character as I previously established. And while I still think Ohtaro gets forgiven/accepted a bit too easily (especially compared to Kunitaka...), again the story is careful to have it make perfect logical sense.

Barring Tomonari, the rest of the vessels decide to give Ohtaro a chance only AFTER Suzuno’s conversation with him. And notably in that conversation, the concept of the cycle of revenge is brought up, as well as Ohtaro clearly leaning towards accepting Suzuno’s request to stop fighting. So the vessels ONLY give Ohtaro that chance because they don’t want to continue perpetuating that cycle and they know Ohtaro is similarly willing to stop. The shogun similarly chooses to spare his life for those reasons. And again, Yabuta is specifically noted to care about/vouch for Ohtaro, because he’s similarly a “redeemed criminal”, which considering this route FOLLOWS the Entertainment District story, makes sense. Having been forgiven for the trouble HE recently caused, he’s paying that forward.

(I’m still bitter he’s so quick to doubt and try to kill off Kunitaka though).

I’m quite torn on how I feel about what went down in the past as revealed in this route. It’s a messy situation where no one party is entirely guilty... but nor are they innocent. The story certainly tries to frame Suzuno’s mother Setsu as an innocent victim... but at the same time I can’t help but feel she should have tried harder to compromise with the clan or convince them of her way. Hilariously Hibina was kind of right when he called her out for making a bunch of radical statements simply because she wanted to marry an outsider. It doesn’t help that I really don’t like the idea of her praying for a god’s help (basically magical intervention) to ensure she marries a guy she JUST MET. Is that not like... the fantasy version of drugging the guy? And she chose to do that at the expense of EVERY other relationship she had.

I do appreciate that there is very mild pushback to her decisions/actions in how Suzuno does things DIFFERENTLY. In the good ending, she DOES NOT abandon everyone for love - rather she does what her mother failed to do and convince both sides to come together.

There are SO MANY ways the tragedy could have been prevented. If Setsu tried harder to convince the clan; if Hibie hadn’t favored her so strongly; if Hibina hadn’t changed his mind; if the clan had been more open to change. And maybe that’s the point, that this was so preventable, but I’m left frustrated.

The situation is genuinely complicated and I can’t tell if the story is trying to lay the blame anywhere specific or if we’re meant to come out of it with our own interpretation. Personally I align most with Hibina; the gods never should have gotten so involved with humans. He only granted Setsu’s wish before because he was swayed by Hibie, who loved Setsu too much, so it’s tragic that him deciding to reaffirm his stance partially led to everything that happened.

It took me quite a while and I’m honestly still kind of iffy on the middle of this route, but I LOVE where Suzuno and Ohtaro’s relationship ends up. While I *personally* would not have been able to give Ohtaro the chances that she did (I don’t think I would have outed him, but I would have probably stood back and let him die when the Oniwaban ambushed him, reasoning it was for the best), their dynamic by the end is very much up my alley. I like that Suzuno is the one who is confident and in control, while Ohtaro is easily flustered. I like that while he’s not AS cheerful/energetic, it’s made pretty clear that the “act” he had been putting on all the time isn’t so far from his true personality, especially when it comes to his interactions with Suzuno. It means that even while he was trying to seduce her there was a kernel of truth to their early interactions and it has a nice “full circle” feeling.

It’s also quite amusing how prior to his route, she’d been so embarrassed at Ruriko and Tatsu being lovey-dovey in public and couldn’t understand it, yet more than any other route, she’s very open and public with her affections towards Ohtaro.

Finally, this route is clearly something of a “golden” route, and it’s one of the few examples of such that I like. Typically, golden routes try and quickly address and resolve the conflict of all the other routes, which feels rushed and also lessens the importance/impact of those routes. Here, while basically every character (except Hanzo oddly enough) from every route makes an appearance, the conflict is unique. Instead, the other conflicts are resolved by realizing that Ohtaro was behind the issues in every route (he outright mentions he was considering things like fusing Hibie to other powerful blightfall (Genjuro/Yoichi) or sealing Hibie in a cursed object (Tomonari)), so there’s no risk of those issues happening in this timeline now. Meanwhile every other route technically deals with Hibie but Ohtaro is still potentially a threat; it’s possible he’d give up on revenge with Hibie gone, since deep down he already wants to, but who knows whether he’d be able to take that step without Suzuno’s influence.

In terms of my feelings on the routes as a whole, from best to worst:

Ohtaro > Genjuro > Tomonari > Kunitaka > Yoichi > Kinji

My feelings on the romances/relationship with Suzuno:

Genjuro > Ohtaro > Kunitaka = Yoichi > Tomonari > Kinji