#meanwhile the other is the most clueless person alive

[sweetlullabyebye]

Characters that are absolute lovesick disasters but also brutal killers are... definitely something

[blood-orange-juice]

I want to overanalyze everything Arle says and how others interact with her. 4.1 spoilers ahead

(meanwhile Fontaine is the nation of human trafficking, actual slums exist and the law doesn't really apply to the wealthy)

She's very good at being unsettling. Half of what she says is a double-bind, she states things and the opposite of them at the same time. It's not even lies, she just rules out any possibility of truth. A conversation strategy the only goal of which is to throw people off balance. This creates a feeling that she might stab you right now in broad daylight or maybe give you a poisoned piece of cake.

A truly lovely woman.

Also an interesting parallel:

(first meeting with Furina and Arle's farewell to us)

Similar words but we understand what she meant each time, right? She's good. One has to constantly guess with her. It's your fault if you guessed incorrectly.

Demanding too much before she voices her actual request. The classics of bargaining. Again, she's good.

Traveler: "he would not fucking say that"

Personally, I think she's bullshiting to check our reaction. One of the best ways of getting information out of someone is to say a thing that is obviously untrue.

As a side note: interesting how hoyo are keeping the story suitable for all headcanons. Haters and indifferent people "know" that he had no chance of learning what food the traveler likes (their character doesn't interact with the boy that much). Shippers can "know" that we share Childe's love for spicy seafood and honey roast, not cake. Shippers who like cake can assume that she reads his letters. I also don't think he knows anything about Arle's taste in desserts, he's too self-centered for that. Anyway, lovely.

Alternative: it's a metaphor. This is obviously not a tea party, it's a battlefield. Childe would totally say *that*. But that's too subtle for most players, I doubt hoyo would do it.

Everyone who had read Tartaglia's actual letters to home stifled a laugh there. Anyone who has *seen* our dear boy really. He doesn't write about what he contemplates or feels, only about actions. Here's a headache medicine for our dear father. Please tell Anton that people in Liyue don't eat stones, it would be ridiculous. I'll take the first boat home once I've finished making a bloodbath out of this lovely city.

(a reminder in case anyone forgot)

So. Bullshiting again. Is she trying to check how close we are? Or to demonstrate that she doesn't, in fact, read his letters (even if she does)? I'm not considering the option that she's actually clueless, she's the Fatui spymaster after all.

(if she's trying to learn from us how to mimic his style to get to his family it would mean she's clueless and it would be bad writing)

Also I know that a lot of people are shouting "have you forgotten about the Vision??? stupid traveler, you have a proof that he's alive" and honestly I'm surprised. Why would we want to share *any* information with her? The traveler was visibly upset when Paimon blurted what she blurted. Also, yeah, let's tell a totalitarian country military official that her colleague recently gave one of his favorite weapons to an enemy of the state. Surely it will go swimmingly. That was intentional.

And then her farewell and her thanking us for helping the twins. Her unhingedness is suddenly gone. She might not be genuine but there's no double bind at least. She starts to say things that could be true or untrue.

Also this:

Not even a guess that the Gnosis could be used to power the Oratrice? After the Akasha terminal plot it's a pretty obvious option to anyone, would she really miss something like that?

Is she trying to push us to do something? It's hard for me to believe that she genuinely doesn't understand. But also she shares that info about a curse. Meh. I don't understand what's happening here.

[bluegekk0]

I've heard about how fpk relationship Herrah, but how exactly were his relationships with the other dreamers? I'm guessing that Lurien was simply a fan boy of fpk and was willing to do anything for him. And Monomon was the eccentric mad scientist who was more interested in fpks biology and is generally chaotic.

i definitely don't think he was particularly close to any of them, mainly due to his shy nature. he's always had a lot of personal issues to deal with, and unfortunately he found it difficult to open himself to others as a result.

that being said, they weren't strangers to each other. i'll start with monomon, since out of the two, i think had a more "equal", and thus closer kind of relationship. she was a researcher, which is a field that is most certainly quite close to his own hobby. after learning about the radiance's weakness to void from grimm, he approached monomon about it - she had the equipment to study it in more detail than he could, so her part in the plan was invaluable. but even before the infection, i like to think fpk visited her archives quite often. they provided extensive knowledge in many fields including the ones he was interested in, and most importantly of all, the quiet and secluded nature of the archive offered him an escape from the palace and all of the burdens. they weren't close, fpk wasn't the type to strike casual conversations, and monomon was aware of his status as the king, so she respected his boundaries

i'm not sure about the mad scientist energy for her, i think this is mostly fanon as i can't find anything that would suggest she was like that. but i like the idea of her being interested in fpk and his species. he was certainly one of a kind, even aside from the fact that he was the only one left, so he would undoubtedly be fascinating to her. granted, he kept a lot of his past to himself, he didn't feel comfortable talking about it since most of his memories were unpleasant, so unfortunately for monomon, she wasn't able to learn much from him. though i do think she had some literature that discussed wyrms as a species in her archives, the same way we can read about dinosaurs and other extinct creatures (since that's how i picture wyrms in the au). they lived for many years, and while the bugs of hallownest only gained higher mind thanks to fpk's influence, other territories were ahead of the race, so it makes sense that they would write about wyrms. a lot of it wasn't completely accurate, after all, it was incredibly difficult to study them and make it out alive, so there was a lot of speculation about their ways. perhaps monomon was able to verify some of that information in her conversations with fpk

as for lurien, i think it was a bit more complicated. like you said, lurien was certainly a bit of a fanboy, perhaps there was an one sided crush involved as well (as a little nod to palewatcher haha). of course, fpk was clueless and so never noticed, though he had another good reason to generally avoid him. lurien held immense respect for him, to the point that he often said he believed that fpk could do no wrong, being the king and, above all, a god. meanwhile, fpk felt like he didn't deserve such high praise, he's always had a quite low opinion of himself, and that unfortunately led him to developing impostor syndrome. deep down, he wanted validation, but there was a barrier in his mind that prevented it from truly accepting it. and so, lurien's endless praise would make him quite uncomfortable, so even if he did acknowledge lurien's feelings, it could never develop into a relationship. that is ignoring the power imbalance, which fpk personally wasn't comfortable with. there was also the possibility that lurien simply admired him for his power and status, as opposed to valuing him as a person. which, to be fair, he can't be blamed for, since fpk rarely shared anything about himself to most people. that being said, fpk held a lot of respect for lurien. his loyalty both to him and the city were admirable. but unfortunately, this mutual respect is as far as their relationship could go

i've considered the possibility of actually having lurien survive. perhaps ghost left him for last, as they found his knights too difficult of an opponent, but they ascended godhome before they got the chance to kill him. it's a very interesting idea, both for the city (lurien's presence would be invaluable for its return to glory, perhaps his position as the watcher would grant him even more power in this situation?) and for the potential for his relationship with fpk. i think seeing fpk in the state he is now would serve as a test for lurien and what qualities he actually admired him for. would he reject fpk just like the city did, seeing his current self as a shameful fall from grace? or would he still respect him as a person, and show that the entire time he truly valued fpk for who he was, not the position he held? it could really go either way, and personally, i really like the second idea. lurien would be a valuable ally to have in the city that is so hostile to the "traitor king", and this kind of dynamic could make for some fun scenarios. would he cover for fpk and, by extension, grimm? perhaps, if he did assume a role of authority, he would secretly condone grimm's activities in the city? after all, he did target criminals, which were a massive problem for the development of the city. also, if he did in fact have a bit of a crush on fpk back in the day, i would add some spice to their interactions

now that i'm thinking about this, i really, really like the idea. i would love to have one of the dreamers stick around, and with the city having a somewhat big role in the au, he would make the best fit. and i'd love to make an au design for him. i'll definitely think more about it

[queerbookgeek]

Firewatching & Nighthawking by Russ Thomas.

I finished Firewatching at the beginning of the year, so will go over it now before I start Nighthawking. 

'A body is found bricked into the walls of a house from the state of the hands its clear he was buried alive, that he tried to claw his way out before he died. The victim is quickly linked to an old missing persons case and DS Adam Tyler is called. 

But Tyler discovers that he has a connection to the case that hopelessly compromises him. With a brutal sadistic murder to unpick, Tyler must move carefully to discover the truth, without destroying the case or himself.

Meanwhile, someone in the city knows exactly what happened to the body. Someone is watching Adam closely. Someone with an unhealthy affinity for fire.'

Overall I liked it, enough to go on and buy the second one anyway. I've never actually read a crime thriller before but I had been given it for christmas and thought I would give it a go.

It mostly follows 4 different perspectives. Each chapter is laid out as a day during the investigation and at the start of each there is a blog entry from an arsonist.

The most prominent perspective is of course DS Adam Tyler as he trys to solve a murder six years after it took place.

Adam doesn't really work well with others but is assigned to work with DI Doggett and his team to investigate the murder. I enjoyed Adam’s character, he is pretty clueless as to what other people are thinking and feeling socially and it felt pretty relatable. And also kind of funny to read the contrast to how observant he is during an investigation. Adam is also gay and deals with a fair amount of homophobia from other members of the police force, to me it felt like it was dealt with well and in a way that doesn't bog down the story but works within the narrative to be realistic.

There are also some parts following Constable Rabbini, a young police constable, who is on the team working the investigation, who wants to be a detective.

To me the most notable though was the perspective of Lily an elderly woman who lives near the murder scene with her partner Edna. Lily starts receiving black mail notes but can't remember what she did, only that it was something bad. Obviously this was pretty emotional to read but it was an interesting take rather than just following along the investigation alone.

Each book is pretty much a stand alone but continuing to follow DS Tyler. Russ Thomas is also working on a third book. 

Obviously this deals with some pretty dark and potentially triggering subject matter and I would recommend looking up trigger warnings for each beforehand. 

Going to Start Nighthawking now and will be back in a couple of day with my thoughts 🏳️‍🌈

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Come With Me

Culinary major! Soobin x food vlogger! reader; just some teeth rotting fluff

Word Count: 3.35k words

Mellow speaks: So I finally completed this long overdue and super fun request!!! Honestly, writing this was just so amazing, and I kinda drew Y/N based on my own self, so I hope you enjoy reading it!!

Rushing into his apartment, Soobin didn't waste a single minute in discarding his bag on the floor, rushing towards his laptop and turning it on. As the screen booted, the final-year culinary major prayed to the gods for the livestream to not have started yet. The winner of the contest from last month was to be announced at the beginning of the stream, and even though Soobin didn't have any hopes of him winning, he couldn't help the tiny voice at the back of his head saying, "What if?."

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a voice, sweet and velvety as always. There you were, on his screen, the biggest of smiles plastered on your face, making him feel warm all over. Y/N L/N, his favorite food vlogger in the world, ready to start another livestream. Soobin had always been more of a silent supporter, his introverted self being too shy to even post a comment under any of your videos, partly because you had a habit of replying to as many of those comments as possible, and he knew for a fact that he would combust on the spot if you were to ever reply to his praises of you.

You see, he greatly admired your love for food and your wanderlust. He was also a great fan of the way you spoke, and the way you articulated your ideas and thoughts. Truth be told, he genuinely liked you, and not just your voyager self. Watching your videos over the years, he had found himself developing a small crush on you, knowing full well that it was probably just him being starstruck. So, gathering all the bravery he had, the boy had finally pressed "Send" on the application form for the competition on the last day, after contemplating it for God knows how long.

There had been only one question on the form, asking respondents to describe what food meant to them. A smile had graced Soobin's lips as you answered it, pouring in his most sincere thoughts on everything culinary. What had pushed him to participate, you ask? It had been the prize, of course. A chance to hang out with none other than you yourself, through a one-on-one video call. He had always wanted to see you in person, to tell you how much your vlogs meant to him. How they had helped discover his own love for food, had helped him find his happiness in the kitchen.

And that had brought him to right now, biting on his fingernails as he listened to your regular introduction, one that he knew by heart and repeated after you, subconsciously. "Hey my food-holics! How are all of you doing today? Hale and hearty, I hope!," you said, following up quickly with a brief overview of the contest, before announcing the winner, as Soobin waited with bated breath. "All your answers were amazing, and I could relate to so many of them! It really sucks that we can only have one winner, since you're all winners to me!," you smiled, and he caught himself copying your expression. "So now, the winner of the contest, and the person who gets to be my new friend, is @aglio_olive!!," you exclaimed, clapping your hands as your eyes crinkled up in joy.

The fact that you had just announced him as the winner of registered belatedly, as Soobin was busy gushing over how adorable you had looked while clapping. He felt his mouth drop open, finding it hard to focus on what you said next. "I'll be contacting you via email shortly," you had said, and that was all it took for the rest of the livestream to go by in a blur for him, as he waited for your mail, checking and re-checking his inbox every two minutes. But it wasn't until the next day that he finally received what he had been peeling his eyes out for. An email from your official account (or that's what he figured), informing him that the meeting would take place on the coming Saturday, at 6:00 pm. Now all he had to do was wait three days, but it was easier said than done.

By the time Saturday rolled around, Soobin was equal parts bubbling with excitement and panicking with nerves. Reluctant to trust his own fashion choices, he had called over his best friend, Yeonjun, hoping to get some much needed guidance. "Should I wear this suit? Or will simple tracks be better?," he had asked, making the older boy shake his head as he patted him on the back. "My friend, Y/N's neither your professor, nor your friend. You're meeting them for the first time, so why don't you just wear something comfortable, that would make them feel at ease too?," he smirks, throwing a plain blue hoodie his way.

As the clock struck 6:00, Soobin found himself seated at his study table, ready to start the meeting. He had even prepared cue cards to help him if he got stuck, and they were propped conveniently next to the laptop. He reached out for them, but just at that moment, his screen came alive with someone waving at him with a smile on their face. Awestruck, he simply waved back, too tongue-tied to say anything. "Wow," he thought to himself, "They look so much better without makeup." A couple seconds later, a new kind of panic set in. "Am I staring too hard? Is it creepy? Should I look down? No but I need to keep eye contact!"

Little did he know, you were having similar, if not identical thoughts. "Wow, no one told me he was gonna be this cute. Blue suits him so well! I'm no staring, am I? Should I speak first? Or should I wait for him to say something?" This finally resulted in the both of you speaking at the same time, something you would later smile about. Because saying "How are you? I'm Soobin," and "I'm Y/N! How are you?," helped you crack into laughter, breaking the ice and easing the awkwardness. Once you had gotten past the niceties, it was time to get to know each other better. The cue cards lay unused, as Soobin just spoke about whatever came to mind, praising your vlogs and thanking you for teaching him more about cuisines. You, on the other hand, took the time to get to know him better, asking him questions about what it was like to study culinary science, something you had never gotten the chance to do.

The hour-long virtual meeting flew by in the blink of an eye, or so it seemed to the both of you. Talking to you, Soobin didn't once feel that you were a stranger or that he was just a fan. You seemed like a genuine and warm person to him that he couldn't help but admire you even more than he did before. To him, somewhere during the meeting, you stopped seeming like a famous vlogger anymore, and instead, all he saw you as was a friend. You, on the other hand, had made up your mind about him being the most interesting person you had ever met, and couldn't stop a sad sigh from escaping your lips as you looked at the time. "Well, Soobin. It's been a pleasure meeting you," you had said, making him smile wistfully.

The moment he had logged out of the meeting, he found himself missing you. He thought back on how nice you had been, smiling when he pictured your face, your hair slightly messy but not too unkempt, an oversized hoodie thrown over your body. To him, it had honestly felt like he was conversing with a friend, and he couldn't bring himself to let such an amazing person walk out of his life. So, without thinking, he began typing out an email to your account, his finger hovering just above the "Send" button. He stopped short though, realizing that your official account wasn't meant for personal mails, and realizing that he had no other means to contact you. Pouting, he fell face-first onto the bed, his energy going down all of a sudden.

He woke up to a "ping," indicating an email on his phone. Unlocking it, he noticed a mail from an account he had never contacted before. Clueless, he clicked on it, the phone nearly falling out of his hand as he read through it. It had been you, after all, reaching out to him through your personal account, and telling him that you had loved talking to him, and would like to be his friend. And thus began the most beautiful friendship either of you had ever forged, full of memories even though you hadn't met each other.

Late night video chats and good morning calls became a ritual, and Soobin found himself busily typing away on his phone every free second he got. You told him all about your escapades and trips, sending him photos and urging him to try cooking whatever you ate and whatever you liked. He, on the other hand, would teach you to cook, sending you tips and giving you suggestions on what to eat. Food was an intergalactic part of the relation you shared, but it was far from being the only thing.

When things got hard for him, you were there to push him towards his dream, reminding him day in and day out that he would have to give in his all to achieve it. "You'll be the greatest chef one day, Soob," you'd giggle, causing him to let out a whine as he said, "How would you know? You haven't even tasted my cooking yet!" He too, was there to provide you a taste of what it felt like to be grounded to one place, to have everything you wanted right next to you. He was there for you to cry to when someone posted a nasty comment under you video, and he was there to virtually feed you when you missed a home-cooked meal. Inside jokes became a thing, as did bitching about classmates and complaining about managers.

Over time, your friendship started blossoming into something more, as Soobin found himself catching feelings, real feelings, for you. The way you smiled, the way you would bite your nails just like him as you went through what people had to say about your videos, the way you cracked stupid jokes and laughed at them alone, he found himself loving them all. He had given his heart out to you, and he didn't want to take it back. You, meanwhile, had been a bit more careful of your feelings, wary of harboring any hopes for a long-distance relationship. But over time, you too, found yourself drowning into the oceans that were his eyes, watching the way his lips moved through the screen, imagining them on yours. Over time, you too, felt your feelings grow, but being your stubborn self, you didn't act on them.

Days turned into months, and soon enough, you were keeping Soobin company through his late night study sessions, talking to him in the hopes of keeping him awake. Helping him prepare flashcards, and letting him teach you a full four-course meal so that he could practice for his practical exams. "What are you gonna do once you graduate?," became a regular question you posed towards him, and every time, it was the same reply. "I don't know yet, Y/N. I want to do something like you. I want to travel the world and learn about different cuisines first-hand."

As Soobin's exams drew nearer, you found yourself bring just as worried as he was, worried about how he'd fare in the examinations, worried about what he'll do when he gets his degree. But keeping your concerns aside, you did your best to push him to do his best, study that last chapter, practice that last technique, memorize that last recipe. "I just wanna sleep, Y/N," he'd whine, only to have you let out a giggle at how adorable he looked. "It's for your own good, bub," you'd reply, your smile somehow managing to give him the strength to put in just a little extra effort.

Seeing him work so hard, you couldn't help but want to give him a surprise by congratulating him in person when he graduated. So, you decided to plan a trip to Seoul, shooting a film vlog just an excuse to finally meet your closest friend, and the person you had a crush on. You had initially wanred to keep the plan a secret, but soon realized what a waste it would be to not use it to your advantage. And so started your ingenious way of getting Soobin to hit the books. "I'm coming to Seoul after your exams, but I'll meet you only if you put in all your effort," you'd tell him, repeating it like a mantra day in and day out.

In response, the boy would pout and whine about how he "hated" you, but started putting in double the effort, just to make you proud. Your tactic seemed to work, but Soobin was still nervous. Nor about the theory, but about the practical exams. "What if I don't do well on the exam? It happens all the time on Masterchef," he said one day, looking into your eyes as you attempted to calm him down. "I know you'll nail it, Binnie," you replied, smiling at him through the screen. "Just think about what makes you happy while you cook, and you'll be good to go." As if on a whim, Soobin muttered out a soft, "You," causing your breath to hitch as you asked him to repeat. "You make me happy," he said again, looking down as he felt his cheeks growing warm. You couldn't help but smile at his sudden confession, sending a virtual kiss his way. "Now go study, you idiot," you giggled, proceeding to tell him about your day as he pored over his books.

The day of his practical exam rolled by, and as you had said, Soobin decided to cook while thinking of something that made him happy. He thought back on the day when you had told him about a delicacy from a city you had visited, and had convinced him to teach you how to make it. The memory alone made a smile appear on his lips, reminding him of how happy the two of you were. And so, that's what he cooked, passing his exam with flying colors. He was so happy he could have kissed you if you were there, and he told you that, causing a laugh to escape your lips. "I'll be there soon," was all you said, fighting to control your excitement.

Soobin passed with flying colors, earning his degree fair and square. And the one person he wanted to thank for it, was you. As you had promised him, a week later found you roaming the streets of Seoul, as you hurriedly made your way towards his college, ready to finally meet him at his convocation. Climbing up the stage to accept his degree, his eyes were busy scanning the crowds, eager to see your face. When he couldn't find you, however, he felt his smile falter, as he took in a gulp.

"Where are you Y/N?," he thought to himself, hand itching to check his phone that was lying in his back pocket. You had told him you'd be here on time, so then, where were you? Just as he feels himself falling deeper into his thoughts, he (like everyone else in the hall) hears footsteps running down the corridor, finally revealing you standing at the entrance, out of breath and with a huge smile stretching across your face. "You're here," he mouthed, his smile matching yours, as you replied with a simple nod and a "Congratulations," your eyes brimming with tears of joy for the boy.

Accepting his degree, Soobin walked off the stage to sit with his classmates, eyes meeting yours every so often as he tried to fight the urge to rush to you and hug you. Once the ceremony ended, neither of you wasted a second in finding each other, throwing yourselves into a hug long overdue. It didn't feel weird as you snuggled your face into his convocation robe, and it didn't feel weird as he did the same into your hair. Pulling away, you just couldn't hide the smiles that threatened to take over your entire face, taking each other's hand as Soobin left you to his parents. "Mom, Dad, this is my friend Y/N," he introduced, and his mom didn't miss the spark in her son's eyes as he looked at you.

Once you were done with the niceties, the two of you made your way out into the city once Soobin had handed his robe over to his mom. Walking the streets with him, with you cracking jokes and him pointing out tourist sights to you, you felt something you had never felt, no matter how many cities you visited. A sense of comfort, a sense of belonging. You felt like you were home for the first time in ages, and it was all because of the guy walking next to you. As if on a whim, you whipped out your video-camera, switching it on and turning it to yourself. Soobin belatedly realized what you were doing, when he heard you recite you introduction. Looking at you in shock, he felt his mouth fall open as he heard you say the words, "Friend," "Soobin," "Featuring," "Guide," in quick succession, piecing the sentence together in his brain.

"Y/N! What are you doing??," he whined, looking down to hide his face. "Awww Soobinnie is shy!!! Sorry guys, it's his first time," you cooed, a giggle escaping your lips as you turned your camera off, trying to convince him to feature in your vlog. "But I won't know what to say!!," he retorted, making you snicker. "Just take me out to eat somewhere tell, and tell the camera why you like the place you like and the food you like. It's not that hard!," you replied, and after much convincing (and some borderline begging), he finally agreed.

He showed you all his favorite eateries and restaurants, gawking at the insane discounts you got him, and just enjoying watching you eat in person, sharing his food. By the time evening rolled out, the two of you were full to your throats, looking out over the river from the bridge. "Thank you Y/N," Soobin said, turning to look at you. "For today, and for everyday. For being there for me, and for being the best friend I have ever had, and more." "Thank you too, Soob," you replied, your eyes stinging as you looked up at him. "Thank you for making me feel at home. Thank you for becoming my home." You hadn't noticed just how close your faces had become, both of you having leaned in subconsciously. Finally, Soobin closed the gap, your lips meeting his in a kiss that's full of the pent-up love and emotions.

His lips were soft against yours, molding with yours like two pieces of the same puzzle. Pulling away, a smile graced your lips as you looked up at him shyly, whispering an "I like you," causing him to repeat your words and adding a "too," cheeks rising up in a smile. Biting you bottom lip, you say, "Come with me," making him tilt his head in confusion. "You said you wanted to be like me. To learn about cuisines first-hand. Then come with me. I don't want to be away from you, I want to be with you 24/7, and not virtually. I want to talk to you in person, to hug you, to kiss you." You notice his smile growing wider, and so you ask, "So, what do you say?," as he replies by placing his lips back on yours.

[deadly-departed]

Awwww thank you for appreciating my request!! I actually love it when you do one of them so I come and check if there's anything new everyday lol. Ok ok so how about some fluffy headcanons with Hanako, Tsukasa, Teru and Akane (male) and how they would react when s/o is on her period? I'm currently on mine rn and I. AM.DYING.

Qfohsxohwgjpvshpcd OMFG YEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!! I love your requests much! I didn't expect so many of them at once lmao but I love them!!! Also if you wanna know when I post you can turn on notifications for my acc if you're on moblile-

You are by far my favorite anon that I've had over the course of my Tumblr HC days, which honestly hasn't been too long, at most a few months over all my accounts but still!!! I love you-

Hanako-kun The Bathroom Ghost, Wonder No. 7

He'd be pretty confused and worried

Like

You're bleeding??? Out of your baby maker hole??? Why?????

Once you explain to him what's going on and that you're in pain he'll be the sweetest little ghost boyfriend ever

Are you craving something? He'll do his best to get it. And by that I mean he'll ask Kou or Yashiro to get it for you.

Do you want cuddles? He's not exactly warm but he'll happily cuddle you whenever you want!

Having mood swings because hormones? He'll understand and not hold anything against you!

He is kinda clueless as to why you are on your period and why it's so necessary but just give him time, he'll understand eventually.

He can't exactly do much for getting pads or tampons so guess ya gotta ask Yashiro or Aoi-chan for those but you can't blame him, he's dead.

If he notices blood on your skirt before he understands what's going on his have a panic attack, thinking someone hurt you.

But hey, at least it was him who noticed and not a classmate or teacher.

Just so that he doesn't seem dumb, he'll ask Yashiro questions to help him understand. That leads to her being a blushing mess though.

But you really gotta give him some credit for trying

He never got to learn this when he was alive!

He's just really trying his best, comforting you when you're cramps are bad, playing with your hair to call you down if you get upset, whatever

He's always there for you, even if he doesn't completely understand what's going on with your body

Tsukasa Yugi, The Rumor Spreader

You will never see this boy more confused then when you tell him you're on your period

Like, fr, he would be absolutely clueless and wouldn't understand a single word you say

Use small words, like you're talking to a 4 year old

"Me go hurtie hurtie, body want make baby." You say, trying to hold in your laughter as you watch Natsuhiko in the background losing his shit

"Well then tell it to stop." Tsukasa says, smiling like he had just solved a cold case that has been ongoing for 23 years.

"I can't do that." You say, laughing as Natsuhiko wheezes behind Tsukasa.

"I have to just wait it out. And while I do, I'm going to be in a lot of pain." You explain, trying to help him understand what you're going through.

He nods a bit, seeming to understand.

And like that, he brought you literally everything he thought would help you.

Some of it was nice.

Like tea, sweets, heating pads, a stray cat to pet and keep you company.

Other things, not so much.

"Why did you bring me homework? It's not even mine."

"How did you get a hold of an Exorcist's Staff? It can't even work, it has a seal on it!"

"Did you just bring me someone's shirt?"

Meanwhile Natsuhiko is desperately trying not to fall onto the ground as he laughs.

Sakura has the look of 'yep, same old shit'

Once you leave to go home, he'll ask Sakura questions about periods and for some reason the questions get more and more personal???

"Why do they happen?" "Will I have them?" "What are they like?" When was the last time you had one?"

Yeah after that last question Sakura just noped out of school for the rest of the day.

But like, the boy has a morbid sense of curiosity, what do you expect?

When you come back to school, hell hopefully have a better grasp on the concept (thanks to Natsuhiko being shameless in talking to him about it)

So he'll be better at comforting you

Akane Aoi, The Time Keeper

Gets exceedingly flustered when you mention that you're on your period

Like wow ok that's something to hear at 7 in the morning

Will try to help out as best he can, grabbing a pad or something out of your backpack for you, getting you something to snack on

Just like, not around Teru.

He'll try to laugh it off then immediately feel really bad and just silently get up and get the thing you asked for.

Akane will also cuddle the life out of you if you want, he will never he able to get enough of you

Probably has a stash of your favorite foods somewhere in his room for you to eat when you start to get cramps

His moods will swing with yours.

Are you happy bouncy and giggly? So is he! Are you crying because you just accidentally dropped a pop tart on the floor? He'll be on the floor with you, crying.

But!!! If you get angry for any reason, he'll be so calm and understanding and just let you get all that angy out of you.

Once you're done he'll hug you and kiss the top of your head and ask if you feel better now

Man's really out here, buying a heating pad or a heatable stuffed animal if your cramps get too bad

Cannot tell me that Akane wouldn't make an excuse for you if you have to skip school because of the pain

"Sorry sir, she can't come in today, she has a doctor's appointment."

Teru Minamoto, The School Prince

Surprisingly knows very little about periods

Like yeah he has a sister but she's like, 5 so-

Hes probably red in the face when you told him

He's not grossed out or anything! Just wasn't something he expected to hear when he walked into school that morning.

Has absolutely no shame in asking one of his female classmates for a pad/tampon if you need one

Besides, what are they about to do? Tell the school prince no?

Yeah that's what I thought.

We know this man can't cook for his like so he'll ask his little brother to make some cookies or something.

He's not going to be specific, he doesn't want to embarrass you.

Hell just be like 'hey, would it be alright if you make my girlfriend some cookies? She really likes your baking'

And Kou will just 'yeah why not?' And do it

He'll bring them to school along with one of those stuffed animals that are also a heating pad and hand them to you with a smile on his face and fidbdj-

Just an overall nice experience. Kinda. Youre on your period after all.

[terrence-silver]

What are the respective sexualities of CK / TKK characters in your opinion? Pick and choose whichever are your personal favourites and whichever you want to headcanon out of the bunch because I know there's a lot and because I know you're very detailed with your answers.

Terry Silver - I know I headcanoned him as Bisexual in the past, and while not inaccurate, that only scratches the surface of what he is. I think Terry's sexually extremely fluid and he can be anything he wants to be at any moment in time, with any person, for any reason, or no reason at all, edging far more into Pansexuality or Omnisexuality, but in general, I don't think he fits any specific label and that is next to impossible to box him up definitively into any of them with accuracy and fairness without chipping away parts of who he is --- which on occasion, he has done on purpose himself. When he wants someone, he has them, regardless of this person's own identity, sexuality or gender (or lack thereof). When he's done with them, he discards them and moves unto whatever else he conveniently wants next, or not nothing at all if he deems it so. Rules are whatever he makes them. He bends and breaks them for himself and by himself, often contradicting the previously established rules in favour of fresh ones. He is whatever he wants to be at the time. He's chameleon identity-wise and where sexuality is concerned as well. Men and women and those who used to be and those who aren't and those who are neither --- all are fair in the elaborate chessboard that is Terry's sphere of interests. Sex and power are innately intermingled in his eyes. His type are people. All people. Because being in charge of people means being in control.

John Kreese - Bisexual with a preference for men and deeply, deeply, deeply repressed about it --- one could even say he's in absolute denial. Due to the time period he was born in and due to the already excessive stigma surrounding his own 'otherness' and his mother's mental health and suicide, John never labeled as anything but a man who loves women, and has in fact loved a woman in Betsy, which feels more like a romanticized young puppy love then anything else --- it is no less meaningful for it, though. That's the only woman John has loved too, in literally seven decades of being alive. Sure, there were adventures, no doubt, but there were far more extremely questionable situationships with men (yes, with Terry Silver as the living incarnation of these) which of course John brushed off as brothers being brothers, devoted military camaraderie, Sensei and Co-Sensei doing their thing, an almost Spartan attachment to touch and closeness and bodies that absolutely edges into the blatantly homoerotic. He's the type to have sex with a man and to be still dyed in the bone about his belief that he's not anything else but a man who loves women, in the most classical, traditional sense possible. In the John Wayne rides off into the sunset with Grace Kelly Technicolor type of way. Meanwhile, on other occasions, he just doesn't care to the point he surprises himself and he is what he is.

Johnny Lawrence - Homosexual. Flat out. Not that Johnny has a clue about it and I don't think he'd ever admit to it to himself, nor does he have the language or knowledge to express it properly or in a healthy manner, with his views on it very much verging into the homophobic as a defense mechanism and as legitimate cluelessness and lack of information, which I also think he often times deliberately plays up to such comical extremes as he does as yet another subconscious wall of defense he's had for a long, long, long time now. Possibly since high-school. If he acts stupid, clownish and disrespectful, people are more likely to leave the situation be and not prod it. I think his penchant for women is purely aesthetic and highly performative due to him being obsessed with hypermasculinity and manly men and manly manhood and classically macho 80's action heroes and babes! I think Johnny's actually looking for his deceased mother in women as a concept because he misses her. Shannon, for example, even eerily reminds of Laura Lawrence. I think his situation is complicated because he can very much develop feelings for ladies and fantasize over them like one fantasizes over a music video and even be domestic with them in a partnership with a deeply meaningful bond or friendship in order to try and recreate a Nuclear family unit he felt he never had or perhaps failed to have in the time since, but they're not his prime source of attraction or want.

Daniel Larusso - Demisexual Bisexual. Daniel's a complicated one, but I think he can like both. Yes. Both is good. Except, after a traumatic adolescence and a history of bullying and abuse, growing into adulthood, I envision he was only capable, or rather, chose to form attachments to people he grew to know and love and trust platonically first as a sort of elaborate vetting process to test the waters, reeling from mistrust stemming from his formative years. Again, one can never disregard his trauma when this question is posed. He might've even viewed himself as Asexual for the longest time as a misunderstanding of just what he went through and all the ways he needed to find himself. I think Daniel's relationship with men and his attraction towards them is complicated because one way or another, men have always harassed him for not fitting the perfect bill of standardized masculinity and for being deemed the 'outsider' in an otherwise affluent community. Meanwhile, as a child of a single mother, women felt safe and welcoming, so he naturally gravitated towards them in abundance, platonically or otherwise. I think he married one (Amanda) for the same reason. In school. In extracurriculars such as Karate. Even when traversing abroad, he was still met with hostility in the form of Chozen. There was always a Johnny, a Kreese, a Terry, a Mike Barnes, a Snake, a Dennis, or a Chozen in his life. I think his primary attraction was always to men, despite of him dating mostly women, but that he also mainly associates men with danger.

[bulletballetarchive1]

When Louis was a kid, he preferred to hang out with other boys. If Louis had any friends who were girls they were tomboys. Back then, Louis was also prone to outright admitting he disliked girls. This was because he had to deal with his mother always scolding him for something or Bianca forcing him to play with her in addition to Cassandra bossing him around if she was at the house. Basically, because the women in his family wouldn’t let him get away with his mischief Louis decided most girls on default were loathsome.

There were moments where Louis and Sal watched The Flintstones or some film featuring a naggy wife archetype. At these times Louis told Sal he didn’t understand why guys couldn’t get married (at the time, Louis’s narrow mind view associated marriage with a man and a woman) because guys don’t nag and they aren’t “controlling.” Sal thought this statement was just Louis being a clueless kid, so his response was that: “women keep us alive, ya know??” They can call you out, but it’s more often than not justified.

Delores, meanwhile, would reach the conclusion that Louis was not straight when he wanted to give a Valentine’s Day card to his best friend. She felt a bit nervous, but this was only due to the fact if you weren’t straight you were going to have a rough time. If you weren’t straight and also black you were going to endure a horrific time. Plus, she never knew what Sal’s stance on the LGBTQ community was. It just wasn’t something they discussed, when she thought back on it.

With that being said, Delores had friends who felt Sal would lose his mind at the very concept of his son liking boys. After all, Sal was a hyper-masculine Italian-American man. Locally, they did not have a reputation for being politically correct. But Delores thought, Sal adored Louis. Furthermore, Louis was only eight years old - she couldn’t imagine that Sal would ever deliberately hurt him. Let alone disown him. 

Still, when Delores approached Sal with the fact Louis wanted to give a non platonic Valentine’s Day card to his friend, Sal didn’t believe her. In his mind, Louie was “just a kid,” he didn’t know anything about himself. When Delores asked if Sal knew he liked girls at a young age Sal refuted that by admitting that he was personally afraid of girls until seventeen, and therefore he ‘thought about nobody.’

However - Sal would remember Louis’s comments about how men should marry other men, which combined with the card, and overall deep attachment to boys. It seemed to all correspond. Delores believed Sal seemed ‘fine’ afterwards, baffled, but fine. Still, in an overprotective mode, Delores kept an eye out for any behavioral shifts.

Later within the week, from the kitchen window she would catch Sal alone in the backyard with Louis. She held her breath, unsure what the conversation consisted of, unsure what she would do if her youngest son suddenly started crying - but, she knew she would do something. To her relief, she would only see Sal get planks of wood to build Louis a little clubhouse. 

Nothing changed between them at all.

[cross-d-a]

MODERN AU HUAISANG MODERN AU HUAISANG

(this refers to the WIP tag game I completed a few days ago!)

So I’ve been obsessed with transmigration for a long ass time and when I discovered there was actually a name for it, and- guess what? it’s a whole subgenre in Chinese novels/tv? I may have lost it a bit. So I def had to do one for The Untamed and I thought Nie Huaisang would make the most sense.

I think I’ve actually posted a beginning snippet of this before, but I’ll repost that + a bit extra :)

Every year on his birthday, Nie Huaisang wishes for a phone. He squeezes his eyes shut tight and mutters over and over: “Please please I just wanna be able to hear my tunes on blast in the middle of a bath, when I wake up in the morning, when I’m on the goddamn toilet. Please have mercy and give me back my phone.”

Instead, what he gets is a guqin. An erhu. A dizi.

When he turns a despairing gaze on his dear, clueless older brother (who has no hope of ever ever knowing what a fucking phone is because this is ancient China), Mingjue just gives him a blank look. “What? If you want to hear music whenever you want, you have to learn how to play it.”

Huaisang buries his mournful wail in his hands.

• ❁ •

Huaisang wonders if this happens to everyone. If after you die, you immediately wake up as another person in the craziest fucking place as far away from your previous life as it’s possible to get. Are you supposed to remember your past life? If so, he only remembers the one, and if not— what the hell went wrong? Can he get a redo? Can his memory just get wiped? At least that way he doesn’t have to remember everything he’s missing.

His phone, for one. His annoying baby sister who hated him more than loved him, but god damn does he miss mussing up her hair and seeing her stuck her lip out at him in a furious scowl. His friends, he guesses. He was never too close with anyone, but at least he was closer with people in his previous life than here. Fuck he misses his birds. Misses hearing them chitter in the mornings and whenever he tried to study.

But most of all he misses his phone. Easy entertainment. Easy to way to keep all his random thoughts organized. Easy access to information. Easy access to music. He used to listen to music near constantly.

The silence is deafening now.

What I love about this AU is that I think it could totally fit into canon. But because I want everyone (well...not EVERYONE) to be alive and happy, Nie Huaisang manages to fuck things up but in a good way. Maybe. 

I’m also a little obsessed with the idea of Nie Huaisang (art major extraordinaire) constantly trying to invent things from the future that he misses. Like flushing toilets.

“Have you heard heard? Qinghe Nie has this new thing called...sucking toilets.”

“Sucking toilets? Do you- do you get sucked into them?!?!”

“I think it might be a new form of torture! But it uses a lot of water so thank goodness the Wen will think it’s too expensive to use!”

Meanwhile, Meng Yao has lost his favourite hat to the sucking toilet.

And alsoooo I love the idea of Nie Huaisang and Lan Zhan becoming friends purely because Lan Zhan can play music.

Nie Huaisang loves Lan Zhan bc Lan Zhan is like his new iPhone, pumping out music whenever he wants. A nice low drone in the background. He tries to get Lan Zhan to do peppier things, but Lan Zhan is confused. 

“What is this called again?”

“Fuck Machine.”

“......And did you....write this song?”

“I guess you could say I did! It won’t come out for another thousand years, so!”

And Lan Zhan is so used to these little passing comments by now that he just goes along with it and Nie Huaisang loves him for it.

(Then Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian and plays Fuck Machine constantly)

(this is specifically for you, slutspeare!!! <3)

Also, okay. Wei Wuxian learns how to play the flute and absolutely rOCKS. Husaing teaches his some rap/rock&roll and it’s FUN. 

Also Huaisang using modern colloquial terms all. The. Time. (“This slaps Dage.”) Esp for sexuality:

“Oh, you’re a lesbian.”

“What?”

“You want to sleep with other women.”

“There’s- there’s a word for that?”

“There is now.”

There is angst involved bc I’m ME, but I thought I’d give you the more fun bits, after the angst fest of the earlier asks :)

[nostalthicc]

send your regards | jeff wittek

mobster!jeff x reader

summary: y/n and jeff both find out some pretty unsettling things about their relationship

warnings: cursing, horribly written, hella mistakes, im just not that happy with it 

3k words

y/n didn’t find herself in a relationship very often, so she understood why her friends were so eager to hear about this new guy she had been seeing for about five months. they’ve had to watch y/n come home in the early hours of the morning, new designer items pop into her closet and her mood suddenly shifted from her usual unbothered attitude to a brand new happy woman and hadn’t even heard a peep about who caused all these changes in their friend’s life.

but today was the day, y/n’s small group of friends sat crowded around her bed as she started to tell them about her newfound relationship- if she could even call it that. “we met at sandy’s, the club near the outlet mall. and you know me when i have one, two many drinks. i thought he was gonna kick me out in the morning but ended up making me breakfast and asked for my number.” y/n said, pausing as she noticed the girls were dying to interrupt her story with questions.

“how was it?” 

“what does he look like?”

“what’s his name?”

“eggplant and baby carrot?” 

“does he have a brother?”

y/n’s eyes widen at the abundance of words thrown her way, she knew they were curious but not this much so. “one, that’s for me to know, court. two, he’s really fucking hot, i’ll show you guys a picture in a second, three his name is jeff wittek-”

before she could go any farther, her older friend, nora blurted out: “What?! Jeff?” y/n gave her a questionable look, urging nora to quiet down and explain her sudden outburst. “y/n, no, you have to end things, you can’t get involved with him.” she said frantically. “h-he’s not a good person.”

“what are you talking about?” y/n asked, her eyebrows furrowed. jeff was one of the kindest people she met whenever they were together, she couldn’t imagine a bad bone in his body. what nora was saying didn’t add up, it seems her friend must have been confused and was talking about the wrong jeff. since the first time she met him he had been nothing but nice to y/n and the people around them and every one of jeff’s friends were also highly kind to her. 

“are you stupid, y/n? jeff wittek is the mob boss that haunts this god forsake town. how could you be so clueless and naive?” nora whispered harshly, causing all the girl’s eyes to widen. they’ve never seen nora act this way, she was always chill and down to earth so to see her blowing up as she was, was shocking. 

everyone had their attention focused on nora they completely missed the look of horror on y/n’s face. little pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together, she knew he was hiding something but y/n never thought it would be of this capacity. the late-night or early morning phone calls, they obnoxious amount of weapons hidden throughout his house, jeff’s constant stance of authority with everyone around him, the bloodied clothing he swore were nose bleeds or bar fights, and the never-ending pit of drugs he had handy at all times. it all made sense now, y/n had dismissed it because she wanted jeff to tell her what his secret was when he was ready but now y/n really regrets her idea. why would he not tell her? how many people has he killed? would he ever hurt her? 

“do you know what he does? he kills people, y/n.” she seethed, earning unprovable glares from surrounding customers- not that she cared. nora knew what she had to do  and she was willing to do it at any cost. “you better get away before he kills you as he does with all his little whores!”

“nora!”

y/n had heard enough, she swiftly grabbed her coat and purse and made a beeline for the door despite her friend’s calls. frustration was building deep inside her, why had everything gone to shit in a matter of minutes? y/n slammed her hands down on the steering wheel multiple times before resting her forehead against the cool leather. when her mind drifted to jeff a new emotion emerged, fear. she was scared.  

y/n knew she needed to confront jeff or it would eat at her alive, she wants to hear the words come from his own two lips before she made any rash decisions. meanwhile, nora had escaped the mob of anger girls and was standing behind the cafe with a burner phone pressed to her ear and a cigarette between her lips. 

“hello?” a gruff, agitated voice answer on the other line. 

“do i just have the funniest story for you?” she was met with silence from the man. rolling her eyes she continued. “you assigned me to keep on an eye on y/n after you two called it quits but you’ll never guess who’s bed she crawled into...wittek.” 

the sound of glass shattering course through the speakers, he was angry, very angry. “jeff wittek?! you had one fucking, nora! one job, how did you manage to fuck it up?” 

“it’s not my fault.” nora defended herself, she was not threatened but the anger pouring through the phone and she was not going to be blamed for something she didn’t do. “i was finding out right along with her dumbass friends, apparently y/n’s not one to openly talk about relationships because it’s been going on for three months but guessing from  her reaction when she found out, i don’t think it’ll last much longer.”

“if something happens to her because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, so be it, i will put a bullet in your head.” 

nora chuckled, blowing out a puff of smoke. “don’t joke around like that i might get excited.” 

⇉⇉⇉

todd met y/n at the front door of jeff’s overly large house, he offered y/n a genuine smile but it quickly fell when she didn’t return the gesture and kept her eyes trained on the floor. “hey, are you okay?” he asked, reaching to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder but y/n hopped back before he could come into contact with her. todd took her weird demeanor and silence as a sign to go get jeff, he can always cheer her up. 

y/n was terrified to even be in this house, so many awful things must have gone down on this very floor, so much blood. y/n wanted to vomit at the thought. nora’s words continued to fill her brain, how could she have been so clueless? why did she ignore every sign of danger? y/n shook her shook, trying frantically to think of what to say when she heard the footsteps approaching. jeff walked into the entryway with a pair of tan cargo shorts loosely hanging on his hips. he was beautiful, his dark hair and tanned skin, his eyes, his lips, her eyes wandered down to his toned abs. on any other day, y/n would be quick to pounce on the man, she was still urged to greet him with a kiss even after the newfound news.

“s-stop. stay there.” y/n tried her best not to stutter but nothing could have prepared her for this moment, she wished she would have stayed in the car and driven home but her brain never worked when she wanted it to. y/n held her hand up when jeff ignored her wish, taking a few steps back. “please, jeff.”

“baby, what’s wrong? toddy said you seemed upset.” jeff whispered softly, in hopes of not pushing y/n farther over the edge.

“why didn’t you tell me?” a sob fell through the girl’s lips, a sound jeff swore he never wanted to hear as long as he lived. his mind raked with confusion until he noticed the look hidden in her eyes, his girl was scared of him, practically shaking with fear. how had he let this happen? how did she even find out? 

jeff took a slow stride towards her, putting his hands up in defense. “baby, listen to me-”

“stop! don’t lie to me again, i don’t want to hear any more lies! i want the truth jeff!” y/n shouted, her body simultaneously stood a little taller on her toes until she remembers who she was talking to. y/n went into a frenzy apologizing to jeff, while still keeping her distance but he kept coming closer and she knew this was most likely the end for her. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i-i- please don’t hurt me.” 

jeff froze as he watched y/n break down in front of him, he watched in silence as his nightmares came true. “no, no baby.” he reached a hand out to her cheek, whipping away the tears as new ones took their place. “please don’t say that. i couldn’t even imagine laying a finger on your precious body if it wasn’t to worship every inch. i would never hurt you, ever. okay, y/n, do you hear me? now, tell me who told you.”

y/n sniffled, taking deep breaths at their close proximity. “nora did. she said y-you’d kill me once you were done with me.” her limbs felt numb and hollow, this was all too much. jeff cursed under his breath, looking down as he tried to make any type of connection but he had y/n pretty well hidden. 

“i would never hurt you, i could never hurt you. please, please stop saying that, you’re breaking my heart over here,” he said. 

“but you hurt other people.” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat. “how many people have you killed? how many people's lives have you claimed? what’s to stop you from doing the same to me?” y/n rambled on, asking so many questions, too many questions, pumping more worry into her head. 

“because i love you, goddammit.” jeff shouted, running his fingers through his hair, he watched in horror as y/n flinched away from him, snapping her eyes shut tight, awaiting the blow. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i just wish you’d listen to me. i love you, i really do. i wanted to make you my queen, we would lead together. i promise i was going to tell you.”

y/n shook her head. “whatever made you think i’d want to do that?” before jeff could answer she raised her hand to stop him, y/n had heard enough. “i-i need time, this is all too much.” she stood up slowly and started backing away from the man towards the front door, y/n wanted to bolt away but she didn’t know how he would react to that. by the time y/n made it to the door, she looked back a jeff to see todd’s hands on his chest. her heart broke but if he truly did love her jeff would let her think things through. 

“my dear y/n, i knew i’d be hearing from you soon enough.”

for the few days y/n had been with ricky she started to remember why she broke things off with him in the first place. he was obsessive, power-hungry, an asshole and he wasn’t him. ricky wasn’t jeff and as much as y/n wanted to deny it, she missed him greatly. maybe she was realizing she loves him but her mind couldn’t shake the thought of who jeff really was and how he had lied to her for so long. 

“god, y/n, i told you no one could treat you better than i can and you went ahead and got involved with a fucking psychopath.” ricky ranted, lighting another cigarette before turning to y/n, eyeing her carefully. y/n knew what he was waiting for and that’s exactly why she bit her tongue. ricky wanted y/n to defend jeff so he could spit a thousand more reasons why jeff is a horrible person and she was stupid for leaving him in the first place but she was not giving him the satisfaction. y/n was starting to realize calling ricky in the first place was a mistake, he clearly had gotten worse since she left; he took her phone, won't let her leave the house, monitors all her meals, and even controls what she wears. ricky was sick.

“my sweet doll, you naive, pathetic precious being,” ricky brushed his fingers across y/n’s chin, scowling as she pulls away from his touch. he was right where he wanted to be, he not only had y/n in his clutches but he had something he could use to bring jeff down. “how do you think i know so much about wittek?” he asked bitterly, the name burning his tongue as he spoke. 

y/n's eyes widen in realization. “because you're just like him.” y/n spoke, defeat clear in her voice. while running from one leader she ran straight into the arms of another mobster, she now more than ever she could be back at home cuddled up with jeff on the couch not stuck in a prison with her crazy ex-boyfriend. 

“no!” he shouted, slamming his fist on the wall. “i am nothing like him, i’m so much better. jeff wittek wishes he could be like me, lead like me, own what i have.” his eyes cast down to y/n’s frightened face, a wicked smile gracing his features. this wasn’t the same ricky y/n used to know, he changed, became a violent version of himself. before he had always been obsessive and controlling but never once had he been violent towards y/n or anyone for a matter of fact. 

“you’re sick, ricky!” he would have thought she knew to keep her mouth shut but y/n was never one to bite her tongue. it infuriated ricky that she didn’t fear him the way she feared jeff, when y/n first called him to pick her up her voice was trembling with fear. why wasn’t she scared of him too? he was just as horrible as jeff, so he thought. ricky grabbed y/n’s arm, dragging her to the living room towards the stairs when a voice halted all movement in the room. 

“it’s taking everything in me to not rip your throat out with my teeth.” jeff smirked at the ricky while basking in his frightened appearance. when he finally found out where y/n was, he went out of his mind, doing everything he could to formulate a plan to get her back or away from that psycho. it was supposed to go down two days from now but when jeff got a text from nora he knew he couldn’t wait any longer to retrieve his girl. 

ricky’s mouth opened and closed, he became a stuttering mess as he tried to form words. “h-how? what are you doing here?” he asked, his grip tightening. sure, he was scared shitless- he’d never actually seen or been face to face with jeff fucking wittek -but he wasn’t going to back down just yet, everyone had a weakness and ricky seemed to have found jeff’s. 

a chuckle could be heard from the mob boss. “newbie’s, man.” he mumbled, turning to todd who had a fancy-looking gun pointed at the rookie. “they’re always so naive.” 

nora made her appearance next to ricky, shoving a needle in his neck before he could react. he slipped to the floor, the hand constricting y/n falling swiftly to the ground with the rest of his limp body. she yelped, jumping away from nora and ricky’s body. y/n was sure everyone in the room could hear her heartbeat rumbling in her chest, all eyes were on her and all y/n could do was stare blankly at them. 

“y/n, come on.” nora coaxed the girl over to her side with a warm smile and a desperate expression, jeff narrowed his eyes as he watched the scene unfold. he knew nora wasn’t completely loyal to him or the mob but he didn’t think she would try and take y/n away from him after all he’s done for her. 

“no, y/n come to me!” jeff countered, earning a highly confused look from the girl. jeff sucked in a sharp breath when nora lost her patience and wrapped her arm around y/n, moving her into a chokehold and pointed a gun to her head. both of the guys pointed their guns at the hostage and her capture, nora had officially crossed the line of his mercy and she would not be leaving this building alive. but before jeff or todd could do anything y/n nailed nora in the stomach, grabbed her arm and pulled it back causing her to drop the gun she held onto right into y/n’s awaiting hand. not a second later she hit nora in the head with the butt of the gun, knocking her out cold. 

“god, she was annoying.” y/n muttered, dragging her hand along her throat. when she finally turned to face the boys with a smirk matching their confused and perplexed expressions. “i can tell by the look on your face, you knew, didn’t you.” 

“i prayed it wasn’t true. ignored it because i loved you, y/n.” jeff said, balling his fist at his side. even aiming a gun at his girlfriend felt foreign, it felt wrong, like he was betraying her and himself at the same time. “after your performance i didn’t believe the rumors but i guess that was a lapse in my judgment, huh?”

y/n internally flinched at the jeff’s use of ‘loved’, she wished the could have met in another light, where they were free to fall in love and be normal- rather than stuck in the life of mobs and mafias. “loved? god, jeff, you both were my targets but somehow i’m gonna get on this helicopter only eliminating one.” she explained painfully, her life with the boy she cares for so much a mere spec now, the life she built was years gone with the simple wave of a hand.  “i-i love you too and i won’t kill you, not now at least, baby. i’ll send your regards to my father.” 

[bookwormsid1015]

Ok so I have another sad Rooftop Gang fic in mind

I can’t write it bc I have like 2 other BNHA fanfiction I’m working on (not to mention summer school hahakillmenow), but this fic idea has been circulating in my brain for the past few days and now I have to write it out bc I will go crazy otherwise. 

Anyways, story time.

Basically, the story is about Midoriya making friends with a ghost. Not just any ghost, but the ghost of Shirakumo “Loud Cloud” Oboro himself! Dun dun DUN!

So, story begins with Midoriya and a few other Class 1-A friends playing around with Tokoyami’s Ouija board (look at that beautiful raven boy and tell me he doesn’t own something as spoopy as Ouija) and they make contact with a spirit. Nobody knows if its real or not, so they just ask the ghost some pretty tame questions, which the spirit answers playfully.

“When am I going to die?”

“As long as you eat your veggies you’re good :)”

Eventually, they all get tired of playing and decide to call it a night. Everyone says goodbye except for Midoriya, who is too busy mulling over the possibilities of ghosts or demons existing in their world. The night continues as normal.

Then the next day Midoriya wakes up to a person in his room.

He freaks out, bc who wouldn’t, especially since the person’s body is transparent and they seem to be outlined by a luminous blue hue. The person assures Midoirya, no he is not a villain, and introduces himself as Shirakumo “Loud Cloud” Oboro. He says he usually doesn’t respond to Ouija board calls (the other spirits do and they just love fucking around with living teenage girls), but since he noticed something familiar about the kids, he decided to pop by.

Midoriya and Shirakumo continue talking, and Midoriya quickly realizes a few things: 

Shirakumo has two forms, his base one (alive and healthy looking with 3 scars over his right eye, wearing his UA High School Uniform) and his dead one (he’s wearing his hero costume and his body is fucked beyond repair: bashed in skull, tattered/missing limbs, outfit soaked in blood, dust, and rain water). Shirakumo switches between these forms based on his emotions.

He also has a curious case of ghostly amnesia: he remembers who he is and how he died, but his memory in regards to specific names, faces, and dates are pretty spotty. He misses his three best friends and it crushes him how little he remembers about them. (This is because the memory wipe done on Kurogiri carried over to Shirakumo a bit).

He can’t linger around Midoriya 24/7 since apparently his body is still alive and he has a wacky sleeping schedule where he sleeps around 10pm and wakes up around 7am (like some kind of productive person or something). When his body wakes up, Shirakumo is brought back into his body’s subconsciousness where he resides in a near constant state of paralysis. (Basically, when the body’s awake, Shirakumo is asleep, but when the body is asleep, Shirakumo is awake.)

Shirakumo is a pretty decent and chill guy and the two become friends. For the most part he’s fun to be around, but there are times where a strange purplish black shadow lingers around his body, his eyes glow yellow, and he has episodes of reliving the agony of his death. (Ghost PTSD?/?)

After a while of getting to know each other, Midoriya decides he wants to help Shirakumo rest in peace. They start their investigation around campus and Midoriya pretends to call his cousin (spoiler: he doesn’t have one since both of his parents are only children) in order to communicate with Shirakumo while being in public.

His friends get suspicious over Midoriya’s strange behavior but brush it off as broccoli boy being broccoli boy. Everyone except for the Dekusquad and Bakugo anyway.

As they move along, Shirakumo slowly yet surely starts learning new powers. If he concentrates hard enough, he can interact with objects, make his voice heard, and in rare cases, create clouds as well as manifest himself in the living world.

Meanwhile, Kurogiri keeps waking up with oddly specific dreams about playing video games or looking through archives with a curly haired boy from UA.

A plethora of reveals and ghostly shenanigans ensue.

In the end, Aizawa, Kayama, and Yamada start hearing rumors that Midoriya made an imaginary friend with someone he calls Shirakumo Oboro, which is silly because they knew a guy with that name and he died like fifteen years ago.

A bunch of tense stuff happens, and when Midoriya is accused of being the UA traitor bc of his suspicious pastimes, Shirakumo manifests himself and has a tearful reunion with his best friends. He tells them that knows what happened to his body, but not the story behind it, so he’s just as clueless as them when he reveals that Kurogiri was once his body.

Detective shenanigans ensue, maybe a villain vs. hero fight here or there.

And the story ends with Shirakumo saying goodbye to his friends-- and Midoriya-- one last time before his ghostly self disappears, finally at peace.

Welp, here it is! The outline of a story that will not leave me alone no matter what I do! It’s good to finally have that out of my system, especially since I still have a lot of hw to do lmaooo. If a fic of this exists already let me know! If not and someone wants to claim it for themselves/use some of the elements in their own stories, also let me know! I’d love to read it! 

*Edit: OH! It would also be pretty cool if Shirakumo was Shigaraki’s imaginary friend when he was like 5-8. Since the saying goes that kids lose their ability to see as they grow, Shigaraki is no longer able to talk to Shirakumo, and when Shirakumo isn’t vibing with Midoriya, he’s checking in on Shigaraki.

[astroninaaa]

clarke griffin sucks here’s why

Hi! I’ve wanted to actually write some anti-Clarke discourse for a while now, specially because I’ve hated her since I first heard her talk to someone else in the show, but I was always hesitant because of blorkes and Clarke stans and all that. Well, I’m doing it anyway.

(DISCLAIMER: all this comes from her depiction in the show. I have no idea how book Clarke is, since I’ve never read the The 100 books. Now buckle up and enjoy my angry and not-that-thought-out rant.) (And I’m putting it under the cut because it is... a lot.)

I know many people started to dislike Clarke after season 3 or whatever, but I believe she has been problematic since the beginning. 

For starters, she put herself in a position of power during season 1, and that’s a fact. People say she “had no choice but to become a leader”, but that’s a lie. Just like Bellamy did, she made the decision to bear leadership: from the moment they arrived, she was already making orders and trying to boss people around. Was she wrong? No, she wasn’t! She wanted to keep herself and others alive, which is a good thing. But she didn’t have to. Btw, if she had never done anything things wouldn’t have change, to be honest, since they did not get to Mount Weather and built their little cute camp around the dropship. I mean, Jasper wouldn’t have been speared and they would have found out about the Grounders a bit later, but I think nothing much would’ve happened. Actually, maybe things with the Grounders would have been easier, considering I firmly believe the theory that the only reason they attacked Jasper in the first place was because he was all happy about finding Mount Weather, the place that had been kidnapping and killing Grounders for a long ass time. 

My point is: I believe Clarke wasn’t actually needed as a leader when they first came down to Earth. I think she was just a spoiled priviledged girl, just like Bellamy said she was, who could not get around to letting go of the power she held. There was no more priviledged and non-priviledged, so she secured her influence by becoming a leader. 

An important statement that people tend to forget: she was just as guilty as Bellamy was for Murphy’s hanging, if not more. She was always talking about justice and whatnot, but when she had the chance to be just, she wasn’t. A knife is not enough evidence to fucking accuse someone of murder — during 1918 and 1919, there was a serial murder going around called “The Axeman of New Orleans”, who used axes he found in people’s houses to kill them (I’m a fan of true crime sorry not sorry). If police went by Clarke’s logic, the dead would’ve been the murderers, which certainly does not make much sense. The least she could’ve done was talking to him separately, conducted a trial or whatever, anything but accusing Murphy of murder before the whole camp. She knew they hated him, and so did Bellamy, and that’s why Bellamy didn’t want her to tell everyone about Wells’ yet. And yes, sure, she was grieving, but grief is still not an excuse for what she did to Murphy, it isn’t. She might have tried to stop the hanging later or whatever, but it was still a direct consequence of her actions and would not have happened at all if she had stopped to think for even a moment. The truth is that Clarke does not comprehend that she can actually be wrong, a fact that repeats itself multiple times throughout the series.

(There are other times she fucks up during season 1, but Murphy’s hanging is what stands out the most to me, so I decided to leave it on that. But don’t worry, I have many other examples!)

I can’t even express how much she pissed me off during season 2. Yes, Mount Weather was a very suspicious place and she was right to be wary, but how could she leave her people and escape? She wanted to get help and all that, but she fucking knew they were bleeding out the Grounders and was definetely aware they would soon try something alike to the 48, and she still left them. She left them alone and clueless to the danger they were in, and she didn’t even know if the Ark had come down alright or if there were other survivors. Mount Weather was lying to them about not finding anyone but she couldn’t be sure of that — everyone could have been fucking dead and she would have left her “people” to die too.

I’m not even gonna talk about Lexa’s betrayal because that wasn’t actually her fault, I admit that. Was she stupid to trust a Grounder? Yes. Should she have considered the fact they tried to kill Raven the first opportunity they got (when Lexa’s cup was poisoned) and the fact that the Grounders did not trust them because of Finn and wrongly Raven? Obviously. Does that make Lexa’s betrayal her fault? No, but she should have seen it coming, tbh.

And, again, she put herself in a position of power where she wasn’t needed. There were actual adults ready to look for a better solution, but she didn’t let them. Of course she didn’t  — how could Princess Griffin let go of her power?

Letting Mount Weather drop the bomb on TonDC was... horrible. It was not the act of a leader and it was not the act of a good person. It was selfish, it was the act of someone who leaves their people to die with the excuse of “looking for help” without even knowing if there is help waiting for them at all. It would have revealed Bellamy’s position, yes, but Bellamy would have preferred that than letting people die like Clarke and Lexa did. THEY LET PEOPLE DIE. Hundreds of people! God, they didn’t save the Grounders and the Skaikru that had come for a DIPLOMATIC AND PACIFIC reunion, but Clarke really thought her deal with Lexa would mean something if a better deal appeared, right? Damn, that was naive.

And then she left her people again by the end of the season, of course. “I bear it so others don’t have to” my ass — Bellamy still went apeshit and Jasper still got depressed and no one actually saw her bearing it, so they bear it too. The only thing girlie did was leave behind responsibility and betray her friends so she didn’t have to face regret for her actions. Meanwhile, people needed her, since she had put herself in a position of power for so long that everyone actually looked up at her, for some unknown reason, since she mainly fucked things up.

I don’t remember season 3 that well, but I know that Bellamy’s rant to her when she came back and was trying to be his friend was absolutely reasonable and true. She fucked off into the woods, represented Skaikru in Polis without them knowing for a while, came back to Arkadia and tried to get some power again, but then no one cared about her. Bellamy was too busy making the wrong decisions because of his emotional pain and sorrow to actually give a shit and they had greater things to solve than filling Clarke’s need to be worshipped.

Also, the whole “blood must not have blood” shit? Funny, real funny. It’s just like Lexa pointed out: “blood must not have blood until it applies to your people”. She is SUCH a hypocrite it pains me. And she did not spare Emerson for “blood must not have blood”, she did it because she knew it would make him suffer more and that came back to bite her in the ass. Karma’s a bitch, I guess. And she tried to make Luna become Commander against her will, which I’m not gonna talk about, but was just really fucked up.

I think my hatred for Clarke peaked during season 4. First, she didn’t want to tell the Grounders the world was about to end again and was apparently okay with letting them burn, until Roan found out and got mad about it. She tried to become Commander, blatantly disrespecting Grounder culture just so she could boss all the people in the world around. “She wanted to help!” “She had no choice!” Yes, sure, she had no choice but lying to everyone and disrespecting a whole nation. She couldn’t, you know, talk about it. Okay. I mean, that’s how Clarke does things, right? Kill and deceive first, give a half-assed apology later. It has been working so far, there’s no reason for her to stop.

Forcing Luna to give them her bone marrow? Very problematic, but “Welcome to Mount Weather” was one of my favorite Raven quotes. Abby was also a fucking bitch for being alright with killing Emori but throwing a tantrum when Clarke finally came to her senses and decided to test Nightblood on herself instead of murdering people who went all the way there to help her, but that’s not what I’m focusing on.

Locking Murphy up while she attempted to kill Emori? Not good. Emori knew from the beginning she would be chosen for testing Nightblood — she is a Grounder, and Clarke’s disregard for Grounders has been made very clear before. (And no, having a Grounder girlfriend in a very unprofessional and non-diplomatic way does not excuse her from discriminating against Grounders.)

And then she took over the bunker, disrespecting Grounder culture once again by betraying the conclave and, well, many people. (I know Echo did it too, but I’m not talking about Echo right now so if someone brings this up I’m gonna riot.) I also think it’s funny how she was always talking about saving everyone and all that shit but was so fucking fast to leave Raven, Octavia, Monty, Harper and Kane to die. You know, the people who were supposed to be her friends and all that. Oh, well.

Then Octavia won. And she still did not open the bunker. Man, opening the bunker would save so many lives, including the life of her oh-so-called best friend’s sister, but she still didn’t do it. Classic Clarke God-complex: she decides who is worth saving, and the Grounders aren’t. Then there’s the whole thing with holding Bellamy at gunpoint and then using “but I didn’t shoot!” as an apology. Bitch, it isn’t about shooting, it is about the fact you looked your supposed best friend straight in the eyes and pointed a gun at him, threatening to kill him if he dared to try and save his sister and many others of certain death.

She sacrificed herself by the end of this season, great. I mean, yeah, that was nice of her. Congrats for doing a good thing for once, I guess, even though she knew she probably wouldn’t be able to get back in time anyway so the least she could do was making sure the others lived. I wish she had actually died then, it would’ve been a great end to her arc (finally saving her friends at the cost of her life after betraying them and leaving them to die repeatedly — damn, I might had even started to like her a bit after that) and I would be able to stand the worshipping of her done at the start of season 5, since she would be, yk, dead. Sadly, that did not happen.

She was a villain during season 5 just like Octavia and I wish she had been depicted that way. She wanted to kill Blodreina (because just overthrowing her wouldn’t do) but she wasn’t okay with letting Madi take the chip. I know these are different things, but see it like that: killing Octavia was a way of taking control of Wonkru at the expense of a life. Madi becoming Commander was a way to take control of Wonkru at the expense of Madi’s childhood. Are any of them good? Not really, but Commander Madi does not envolve killing someone and even has a nice ring to it. Besides, Madi had given consent to taking the chip.

(Another point: Octavia was actually thrown into a position of power, just like everyone claims Clarke was. Octavia was the conclave’s champion and was expected and even obligated to lead, while Clarke simply decided she was more competent than the others and became a self-proclaimed leader. After that, she whined for all seasons about how she didn’t want leadership. Octavia never did that, despite being the one who became a leader unwillingly. Just like Raven put, Octavia and Clarke are the same, but Octavia doesn’t pretend to feel bad for empathy points. Damn, I love Raven.)

She left Bellamy to die in the fighting pit, because now Madi is the one she cares about so fuck everyone else. She gave over Raven and Shaw and let them be tortured for nothing. She betrayed literally everyone and was the one to put McCreary in a position strong enough he had the power to literally destroy Earth. Clarke Griffin was directly responsible for Earth’s end.

And then she said “sorry, I had no choice” and most characters fucking forgave her. I hate the way this series throws Clarke’s half-assed apologies onto us and expect us to accept them. I think it is very annoying, since Clarke would be an awesome villain, but they insist in making her one of the good guys, even with the whole “there’s no good guys” theme, which I wholeheartedly believe to be just a way to justify why Clarke needs to be forgiven again and again and again. It is not much more than bad writing, to be honest.

During season 6 she again becomes a leader without being prompted to. I loved Josephine and I think that the fact Clarke wasn’t actually Clarke was the only reason I didn’t absolutely despised her like I have done for the previous seasons. Again, I would have loved it if she had actually died then. Imagine Josephine becoming a main character for season 7 too? Amazing, brilliant, showstopping, incredible.

And she is not even there for season 7, at least until “The Queen’s Gambit” lol. Guess they finally saw how much of an annoying character she is. The only thing I remember of her is the “I don’t believe in Karma” thing, which was... expected. I mean, someone who has done as much harm as she has can’t believe in Karma anyway or she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, and Clarke’s whole thing is about pretending to be sorry but not actually trying to change, so we can’t have that.

In conclusion, Clarke Griffin fucking sucks. She is a bad person and the way everyone always forgives every bad thing she does is bad writing. The series tries to sell her as one of the characters on the “good” side, but she actively works against it. She is not even a GOOD villain to watch, like Murphy was for many seasons. She is just an annoying character with a God complex who fucks things up, betrays her friends and lets people die again and again and then is forgiven because she is supposed to be an admirable main character. She is selfish and abusive and manipulative and power-hungry and fucking sucks, so please don’t stan her.

And that’s on that! Nice.

(DISCLAIMER PART 2: this blog DOES NOT support Eliza Taylor and Bob Morley, specially after Arryn Zech’s accusations. I know we cannot be sure of anything, but I prefer to side with a potential liar than with a potential abuser.)

[fymagnificentwomcn]

ask-mother-germania replied to your photoset

right?I was shooked too at how weirdly stockholm-syndromy it went

Same, I missed a lot during first watching because I practically binge-watched first 6 episodes, the whole issue of her wanting to go home, him promising to help her out, but then pressuring her to stay, and then here choosing to go back because „love” bothered me already back then, but I still missed a lot.

We truly see a traumatised young girl, who just wants he family back (and we see that she had a perfectly happy life in Cephalonia, with loving and well-situated family, no one thought about marrying her off and her father even entrusted her with certain things and clearly planned to make her inherit his business). She’so young that she even believes all the talk about sultan eating young girls!

Ahmed built a whole fantasy about this girl being embodiment of innocence when he was going through a really dark period in the palace - his brother was murdered by his father with contribution of his grandmother, with hinted silent approval of his mother. Then there was also Halime likely making some moves to get the throne for Mehmed earlier. This is why Ahmed called Nasya’s portrait his “light in the dark”, with the rest of his family and palace being placed in the “dark”. I think there also stemmed his later attitude to his mother - she was classified in the darkness of palace intrigues for him. Heck, he even placed candles around Nasya’s portrait, turning it into quasi-altar.

On the contrary, Nasya’s life is full of light & carefree until the traumatised teenager’s obsession changes her life forever and she also becomes a traumatised person.

Still, while Nasya is so young, she knows her own mind and is able to see that what is happening to her IS wrong. She repeatedly voices this even to Ahmed himself. She does of course admit he’s not a monster and treats her well, but this does not mean the situation is acceptable. It’s so heartbreaking to see them all mould her (yes Ahmed included), but she’s SO young and in such vulnerable state. Each time someone mistreats her, Ahmed appears to save her from their hands. For long time he’s the only one who treats her well. However, even his kindness to her has limits - each time she mentions wanting to go home or even missing her family, he either begins talking how it’s her destiny to be here with him or becomes angry with her, thus punishing her by withdrawing the only source of affection she has in this palace. The scene when she throws letters out of the window is the saddest - she’s deeply upset, yet Ahmed scolds her for “demanding too much” – no she still dares to think about home when he treats her well, so what’s her problem? She kissed him out of her own will, so what’s her problem, why does she now hurt HIM so? It’s such a sad scene of guilt-tripping and when, confused, she replies that she does not know, he takes his hand from her and orders her to leave him.

All Ahmed/Nasya scenes are sweet as long as she offers comfort and understanding to HIM, once she mentions her own unhappiness and missing home, things stop being cute. Yes, Ahmed has “good intentions” - he wants to make her his queen, treat her as best among all women, even differently from them, offer her love and luxurious life.. but completely fails to understand she wants her family, freedom and identity back. When he says “You’re as unhappy as me, so let us be happy”, he completely fails to perceive she’s unhappy NOW because she was kidnapped due to his obsession with her portrait. We saw her life on Cephalonia - she was perfectly happy before Ottoman palace, not lacking anything, with glorious future ahead. She wasn’t even Hürrem from lower classes or Nurbanu carrying a  burden of illegitimacy and being forced into arranged marriage - she truly didn’t lack anything, and she had a family alive to whom she could return. And here’s first crack in Ahmed’s ideal fantasy - the girl from his portrait is not happy to be brought into his palace, and he never manages to understand this. When he promises her to help her return, we know that he lied deliberately because in next scene he happily thanks Safiye for the “gift”. He continues to be clueless when he laughs when Nasya discovers her own portrait and is dismayed  (”I’m not a gift, I’m a human”) because he was certain that she would like it. When she wants to leave, he grabs her and tells her that she cannot run away from here.

Yet Ahmed’s “ideal fantasy” or “image” isn’t forced on Nasya only by him, of course. Others also want to convince Nasya of a glorious life in front of her, sometimes with more understanding because some of them went through similar experience too, hence Safiye’s “if you are scared, wear love as your armour”. When Nasya calls Ahmed oppressor, who takes poor girls away from their homes, she’s brought before Handan, who immediately punishes her harshly. Nasya knows that Ahmed is not a monster and has his good qualities as she told him before: “You’re a good person, but I want to go home”. Yet she sees that the way she was kidnapped because of him becoming enamoured with the image of her IS wrong and demanding from her to accept it and love him in return for being nice and treating her well ARE wrong.

Add to this the whole issue of Nasya responding to first charms of first love - a nice guy telling her romantic things, reciting poetry for her, planting flowers for her or sending it to her, magical garden with sunsets..her sexual awakening that Safiye used by telling her “if you see a guy in your dreams it must be love”. The allure of romantic settings, beautiful and romantic dress, perfume, making her hair for guy.. and suddenly Nasya, who earlier stated that she was nobody’s property, for whom returning to her family was always the most important thing, even despite any developing feelings for Ahmed.. exclaims “she belongs to him”. Suddenly, all she wants is Ahmed. In this state, she makes a rash decision that any person struck with first touch of young love may do and traps both herself by staying at the palace and also all people she loves and will love. There’s nothing romantic about this deal in hindsight, especially since it covered Ahmed anyway. In S2, when Kösem is at Gevherhan’s tomb she’s now very bitter about the deal, saying she gets very angry each time she recalls the woman and her words. Back to Nasya, who now turns into Kösem – she is now wrapped up in this ideal fantasy - believes in her fairytale with Ahmed, triumph of love because of power of “pure” love and innocence. Early Beren!Kösem is already different from Nasya - she no longer holds her ground against Ahmed’s ideal fantasy. She totally believes in it talks with phrases such as “my heart burns with love for you Ahmed”, but it’s so exaggerated&exalted that it sounds pretty artificial. All she wants is to give Ahmed children, while he conquers the world. At the same time, Ahmed showers her with gifts showcasing he wants to make her his queen. Even her costumes at this point are rather “Disney princess” style. But is love pretty much based on Stockholm syndrome pure and true? Can you stay innocent in such a place? Kösem soon learns it’s all illusion. Several people warn her that you cannot live in this palace without any sin. Beren!Kösem did tend to be a very judgmental idealist.

First awakening came with the death of her father - a totally unjust, cruel, purposeless death. From then on, Kösem’s character has her first pragmatic turn, which affects both her desire to stay away from all “dirty matters” and simply live a life full of love and providing Ahmed with children, while he conquers the world. She realises she will need to put a fight for her family to survive. She also realises the gravity of the decision she made in the spur of her first. young love, which we witness when Iskender meets her for the first time since the failed escape from the palace.. she’s no longer entthusiastic about her choice and finishes the conversation that she’s now the padişah’s favourite and that’s it, her fate was sealed, there’s no use in doubting anything, since nothing can be changed anyway. /On a sidenote, t’s also interesting to point out how portrait symbolism appears again when we see Iskender developing obsession with Kösem’s other portrait too, and then it serving as final factor determining Ahmed’s decision about Iskender/.

The huge tragedy of her arc is gradual disillusion and being confronted with very harsh reality. Even after years spent in the palace and seeing many twists and turns, she still believes after Ahmed’s death that fratricide may be put off behind swiftly and protecting the sehzades&state always get together. She still believes in power of innocence, to a lesser extent than before, but she still believes in iit. How could she have predicted that her sons would bring back fratricide law, even if it meant danger for their sons? Or that one of her sons would be a bloody tyrant endangering dynasty’s survival and the other one would be mentally ill? How she could have predicted what difficult and painful choices she would need to make?

Meanwhile, Ahmed doesn’t help her because while his decision to spare Mustafa is commendable, it’s later not followed by necessary pragmatism. We see Ahmed after the time skip, who pretty much gave up on his dreams of conquering the world and becoming a great sultan, likely because he was disheartened by all the shit that followed his accession. He’s mostly interested in his mosque (and unfortunately causing frustrations with spending so much money on it when he did not conquer anything and... Osman will pay also due to all bottled up frustrations later), while we see it’s Kösem who’s more interested in state matters. She also told Ahmed he should regulate the matters of succession especially since he had an alive brother and his two eldest sons were in conflict, but Ahmed didn’t do anything and counted on his sons honouring their promise (and lbr both of them were still kiddos of 13 and 12). And it later turned out to be important = if decree about changes in succession law had come from Ahmed, Osman wouldn’t have been later able to question it and Kösem wouldn’t have been accused of forgery for her own purposes.But Ahmed was all “honey, you will just manage it all, no worries”.

One of Beren!Kosem’s main flaws was her judgementalism. She  truly believes at first in perfect solutions. She believes in that dream of love bringing her here to make her a queen that would bring change, but at the same time stay pure and happy. She believes that obeying “simple rules of conduct  and loyalty to sultan” will bring her this, this is why she’s often easy to condemn people, which I guess most visible in her treatment of Handan and Derviş. She pretty much views Handan’s feelings for Derviş as treason and thus views her behaviour as “immoral” and seeing Dervis’ poisoning of Mehmed as betrayal to state, even though if Ahmed had been dead, even the dynasty could have been endangered, with just little Mustafa being left. (yes, Dervis did it for Handan & Ahmed, but lbr with Mehmed being so unhealthy & shitty ruler at that point, whole dynasty benefitted from it). Couldn’t she then imagine she would make a decision to switch her fatally ill son’s medicines for placebo not to prolong his life because her last son and last living prince of the dynasty (end of Ottoman line in the Ottoman Empire would have meant its division and civil wars, that dynasty was an element that glued all together, state existed as long as dynasty existed, later idea indeed switched more to dynasty than individual sultan). Likely not. Did she expect that her second son would be so harmed beyond belief by another one and that her daughter-in-law would try to dethrone him despite Kösem sharing her power with her and preparing her to be next Valide? Could she truly have predicted so many brutalities and how far people can push her even though she was aware of dark Ottoman rules? Could she have predicted that loyalty to sultans would later come in conflict with benefit of the state or that her own sons would switch back to fratricide law once they got to the throne despite this law being such a burden of princes for so long? Could she have predicted that her being involved in coup against her son could prevent him from worse fate and bloody coup (similar to the one when Osman was deposed) because her daughter-in-law would push for bloody dethronement?

It all seemed so easy, obey the established rules of loyalty, protect all members of dynasty, and it would also ensure survival of state, change succession law… and it will all adjust itself.

But reality truly hit her hard, with truly no truly good choices in front of her, with circumstances pushing her to do things she never could have imagined she would have to do, and she simply could often only act to minimise damage as much as she could.

Easy rules did not apply, suddenly even the concept of loyalty to the state and dynasty shifted and turned out no longer to be tied with a ruling padişah, same with future and well-being of dynasty. It all became blurred, even in her private life. She was highly critical of Handan once because loving another man than your padişah, even a deceasd padişah, equals treason.. but so many years later she sees no problem with herself falling in love again - and  there’s no sign she considers it as betrayal of Ahmed.

In the end, there is no good choice, the whole palace is covered with blood and dead bodies, sheer, brutal power won out, and the only thing that remained untouched by blood was the white rouse symbolising pure and true love, even though by Ottoman rules of morality at that time it should have been considered sinful (and she remarks in her monologue for Kemankeş when she sees him dead that Kemankeş is the one who knew her heart). /Plus it’s interesting to observe how Ahmed fell in love with Kosem’s portrait at first sight, while Kemankes and Kosem needed to get to know each other to fall in love/.

Ultimately, Kösem dies in a sequence closely paralleling her capture, signifying that she was never truly free, no matter how much she rose in ranks and how much power she had, the only thing that stayed pure in all the destruction was not the love that brought her here and one that “ should have been part of the plan”, and thus the last loved one she saw was other man than the one she had made the sacrifice that doomed her loved ones years ago (and she points out in her monologue for Kemankeş whether anybody “author of the heart” would write their love story because of how secret the romance had to be). Irony of life.

The warning “Life of princes is not a fairytale” is contained in Ahmed’s opening monologue, and despite some fairytale&yellow filter elements in first episodes (which looked a bit “fake” here).. the story began with with Mehmed II executing 19 of his brothers, an event that best symbolises the brutal Ottoman reality and its rules.

- Joanna

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Little Big Secrets (Sriracha, Part 16.)

Description:  A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Living on your own in a lonely trail in the middle of the woods was like a living a fairy tale. And the prince charming was taking good care of you.

A/N: I just want to say that the Murray Bauman scene leads to the "Get awaaaay from me" scene in season two since he gets mad at him.

Word count: 2.8 K

Tagging: @nemodoren​ @creedslove​

Master list: H E R E

It was a crazy idea... But somehow... You managed to make it work during September, so October was somehow even better. It took a while to accept the fact that Hopper leaves pretty early in the morning and comes back pretty late in the evening and that you have a whole day for yourself. You became Hopper's little secret no-one could find out about. And this time for real. You practically went under voluntary lock-down, sometimes leaving to Bloomington for groceries.

You had officially started the semester at the university of Hawkins, because the dean, Mr. Clarke, was your parents‘ good old friend. You straightaway lied to him - you told him that you have a really bad illness and that you had to stay in Hawkins because of that. Every Friday, you met up with Aiden, who gave you the homework professors were sending you and every Sunday, he came back for it. Your mother obviously tried to find out where you are and who do you live with now, but Aiden kept his mouth shut. 

He, in the end, was a proud younger brother, because not everyone had the balls to actually do something as bat shit crazy as you did. You were one crazy motherfucker and Aiden couldn't but adore you. You never took him near the trail, you never told him where you live at the time - he just knew that you're alive and well and that Hopper's looking after you. Honestly, that was everything Aiden needed to know. You definitely looked happy, clean, nicely dressed, which told him that the man wasn't abusing or hurting you; in fact, he was treating you like a damn princess.

Since Hopper was out most of the weekdays, you made a small pact - it was okay to go on a walk around the quarry or go to grocery shop in Bloomington to keep you socialized and not feeling isolated. In the end, Hopper wasn't holding you in his trail against your will and he made sure you're free to leave every time you wanted to. But you agreed that going into Hawkins would be a dumb idea. So you didn't ride your bike there.

Every day, Hopper rode home with an uneasy feeling in his chest - what if he would open up the door and you would be nowhere to be found? He slowly grew to accept and to look forward to the fact that every time he comes home, there's someone who will spend time him, who would ask him about his day and well being, who would care about the man under though jokes and swearing. And his heart was pounding rapidly every time his car turned to drive into the driveway in front of the trail.

But every time he stopped the engine, the lights were on and he saw you opening up the door, coming towards him with a big, lovely smile on your lips to kiss him and tell him that you've missed him there.

Sometimes he had to stay longer at the station. Every time, you promised him that you'd wait for him but every time he entered the door, you were dead asleep on the couch with your homework and books everywhere around you, or the book you've been currently reading on your thighs. Every time he saw you there, he didn't know how the hell he got so lucky because the laundry was always done, the trail was perfectly tidied up and there was a home-made cooked meal waiting for him. And you, a beautiful and smart young woman, were waiting for him to come home. He, of course, carried you to bed - he got pretty handy with that.

Your presence was a kind of personal talisman to him. Since you started being a part of his life, living with him and accepting the role of being his actual girlfriend, his usage of Tuinal was less and less frequent. You knew that sometimes, he took a pill but both of you sometimes sat down and drank a beer or two or smoked and it almost seemed that the demons inside his head are getting quieter and quieter.

Sometimes, he woke you both up when he had nightmares about Vietnam or Sara, but usually, as soon as he felt your body pressed into his, your lips whispering him sweet nothings and calming phrases, he really cooled down rather quickly. You made him talk. Every single time, you made him talk so you could understand better, hugging him the whole time.

And you never turned away. You were fighting those demons by his side, not leaving him in the dark for a minute. You went to sleep only when he said that he's ready to go to sleep as well, sometimes distracting him with making him make love to you.

Nights of furious fucking were mostly far behind you; except when you had a shower together, which was almost every other morning before he left for the station. The nights spent away in his bed now felt more emotional, deeper than ever before. He could last for hours when he was in the right mood, not missing a single opportunity to eat you out as if he hadn't got a chance to do so in weeks.

Sometimes you argued, because every normal couple did, and honestly, he knew better than arguing with you since you got into his head in no time every single time. He could pinpoint name the moment when he had an argument coming his way - you had a long ass monologue, ending it with a mocking question. Sometimes you told him that he's a jerk (and many other names you could think of), sometimes he told you that you're just a small girl and brat, but usually, the arguments were thrown out of the window in no time as Hopper undressed you and fucked you literally everywhere he could - on the terrace, on the dinner table, in the waters of the quarry, on the couch, on the ground, literally everywhere.

Needless to say, you had your demons as well, you just wanted to live in the fairytale for a little longer - your mother was reporting you missing every other Friday and Hopper pretended to look for you meanwhile having you in his trail.

"Chief. Chief! Mr. Hopper!" - Your mother called out at him the first time, running after him as soon as he parked his car in front of the station. He was terrified for a second. Did she know? Did she find out? Did she know what you two were up to and that, in fact, you're in a secret relationship?

If she did, he was fucked up in the butt. Hopper, as every grown-up man, did know that one day comes to a really embarrassing situation. That day when you both will have to say it out loud, to tell the secret to your parents, to your friends, his co-workers, people in the town... And Hopper was sincerely afraid of that day. Yet, when she looked at him with her face completely clueless, he understood that she doesn't know. To be honest, he was terrified of the day she finds out.

He was sure that he castrates him in the most horrendous way possible and that even you, no matter how bat shit crazy or tough you were, won't stop her from doing so.

"Mrs. Y/L/N. What happened? Is everythin' alrite?" - Hopper asked worriedly, pulling the best acting so he could just lead her into his office. Flo immediately knew that it's your mother and her look was definitely concerned. His co-workers liked you, you were a little sunshine. What if something happened to you?

When your mom sat down in his office, he took a deep breath in, offering her a cup of coffee or water. She accepted the water, gulping it down in no time at all.

"It's about my daughter. Do you remember her? She was helping you out at the station during the summer." - She asked. Hopper could see that it's breaking her heart.

Do you mean that sweet little baby girl who's cooking and making laundry at my trail? The beast who makes me fold every piece of my damn clothes? That angel who stays up with me until I'm not too scared to go back to sleep? You mean that sunshine who screams my name and moans so loud that you have to hear it here in Hawkins? He could ask all of these questions, instead, he went...

"Yeah, the annoyin' kiddo who threw up on my Blazer. Hard to forget. What happened to her? Is she alrite?" - He asked seriously, showing some actual concern. He was playing on really thin ice. One dumb joke or wrong word and she knows where you're at and with who you're living.

"She ran away. She was supposed to study in Indianapolis, but she called me and told me that she decided to stay in Hawkins. She's living with someone, but... I'm just concerned, you know, Chief? What if anything happened to her?" - She asked with tears in her eyes. Aiden told her million times that you're alright and doing well and your father told her that you're a damn adult and you can do whatever you want to. If you fell in love and stayed in Hawkins, damn, you had every right to do so. He loved you no matter what. Only your mother was paranoid and scared out of her mind.

"I'm afraid that I can't take any actions against this, ma'am. She's a legal adult, she has the right to live her life the way she finds appropriate." - Hopper said, crossing his arms on his chest. That was right. You were an adult who could actually decide what you're going to do with your life.

"I know, I know... But, Chief, I beg you. If you or your colleagues see her and talk to her, please, tell her to come home. We miss her." - She leaned in to hold his shoulder with honesty and before Hopper could answer something, she stormed out of the office.

Powell, Callahan, and Florence asked about your well being because of course, they did.

"She ran away? Wow." - Callahan answered honestly while Jim leaned his ass into the counter in their office while eating Flo's homemade pie. - "She never seemed to be the type to do so."

"Come on, you shit head, I know you wanted to ask her out. You're just surprised that someone has done it first." - Powell hummed from his crosswords and that caught Jim's attention.

"You were pinning after that kiddo, Callahan?" - He asked rather quietly, showing some actual disgust. Any of the men had a clue that he's pissed because you're his girlfriend, they just figured out he's pissed about Callahan so blatantly speaking up about crush on an actual student.

"She's a really fine woman and I'm a simple man, what can I say, boss? She's smart, damn cute and can bake the best pies in Hawkins. No offense, Flo." - Callahan looked at the old lady who furrowed at him.

"I just hope that she's fine. She was more responsible than the three of you combined." - She told him and focused on another book in her hands, this time a book about gardening. And yes, she was probably right.

"I hope she comes back one day. No matter who that guy is, I bet she would be happier with me." - Callahan said courageously and Hopper grinned at that claim.

As he walked back to his office, he mumbled Keep on dreaming, lover boy, but not quietly enough, so Powell heard him and pretty much chuckled at that. That day, Murray Bauman also took the station by a surprise, storming directly into Hopper's office.

He was talking and talking while Jim just spaced out, his mind stuck on one thing - giving you a nasty call on his personal line to assure himself that men like Callahan won't even get near you. But at one moment, Murray just slapped his desk to bring Hopper back.

"Can you, at least for a moment, stop thinking about sex and pay attention to what I'm saying?" - He asked rather politely, making Hopper rather uncomfortable and unable to speak.

"Excuse me, Murray?" - Hopper asked back unbelievably, staring Murray down.

"I said that no matter what chick's on your mind, you have to let it go for a while. She obviously has some good influence over you, I'm sure she has to be great, but I have some really alarming information for you." - Bauman hissed at Hopper ironically, making him not uncomfortable, but straightaway mad at him. - "I told you I saw a UFO flying by Hawkins middle school earlier this morning!"

"Out of my damn office, now." - Hopper muttered out and massaged his nose. Murray hasn't moved an inch, so Hopper stood up, ready to help him out of that damn chair. - "I said get out of my fuckin' office immediately." - Hopper hissed back and this time, Murray left in no time at all.

Hopper could ignore your mom for the first two Fridays she came to beg him. But when she came the fourth time, he knew that you both need to talk about it already. You had to tell her no matter how much it will change your relationship. He was encouraging himself for almost an hour before he turned right at you while you sang Talking In Your Sleep while cleaning up the dishes.

"Baby, I think we need to talk somethin'." - He mumbled into the back of your neck, gripping one of his shirts you stolen in his hands, pressing his body on yours. It was still fascinating him - you were so small, gentle, lovely and adorable and yet you chose him from all the boys that you could have.

"Something on your mind?" - You whispered back, turning around to sit on the countertop next to the sink, hugging his waist with your knees. - "Do you want me to change the washing powder again?" - You hummed while untucking his shirt so you could unbutton it and kiss his chest. You were one greedy creature and honestly, Hopper couldn't have enough of it.

It made him properly terrified when you got your period for the first time in his presence. You were grumpy, in pain and curled up into a small ball. Hopper did his best to brighten up your mood - he bought you ice-cream and candy, made you his Triple-Decker Eggos Extravaganza just the way he loved it, brew you cups of coffee the whole weekend, but you still seemed to hate him every minute of your period.

Although, when you hadn't got the red alarm going on, you were the most nuzzling and caring creature he has ever seen. And now, you were distracting him with fucking, again. But he let you continue and watch your lips slowly kissing every inch of his chest you could reach.

"It's about your mom." - Jim whispered and caressed your temple as your fingertips slid down to the hem of his jeans.

"What about my mom?" - You hummed back, working on his belt. You never fucked on the countertop. It was an inconvenient place to do so, but you were willing to try everything.

"This needs to end, baby. You have to tell her." - Jim said in a serious tone, pinning your wrists to the wall, leaning in to kiss you properly.

"Of course." - You whispered back when he let you catch your breath. - "I was thinking about next Wednesday, dinner at their place. How does that sound, big guy?" - You moaned when you felt as he spread your legs even wider than before. There was definitely hot fucking on the countertop coming your way.

"Will you tell them about all of this? About us?" - He asked a bit worriedly as you wiggled in your wrists to slide the shirt off his wide shoulders.

"You can correct me if I won't. You're coming with me." - You mumbled when he took off your shirt and smiled as his hands palmed your breasts, playing with the nipples. - "You have to keep her from... Oh my Lord... From killing me."

"Do you think she won't kill us both, huh?" - Hopper hummed back as he leaned in to slowly kiss a trail down your chest.

"Let's hope she won't." - You breathed out before your panties disappeared and Hopper got on his knees.

[dvrcas]

               * ╰    KATHRYN  NEWTON  ;  TWENTY  ;  SHE / HER  ——  wow,  DORCAS  MEADOWES  sure  has  grown  !  it’s  almost  hard  to  believe  they  actually  passed  recruitment…  i  still  remember  them  being  so  INTUITIVE  &  OPTIMISTIC  now  they  just  seem  MATERIALISTIC  &  CAPRICIOUS.  guess  they’re  special  if  they  made  it  this  far.  word  in  the  halls  is  they’re  training  to  be  a  HIT  WITCH  but  i  don’t  think  they’ll  make  it  out  alive.  after  all,  they’ve  shown  signs  of  being  NEUTRAL  in  the  war.

PINTEREST

character  inspo:  amy  march  (  little  women  ),  shelby  wyatt  (  quantico  ),  glinda  upland  (  wicked  ),  rachel  green  (  friends  )

dorcas  louisa  ruth  meadowes  hails  from  old  money,  sweltering  summer  heat,  peaches,  spanish  moss,  and  crickets  at  dusk.  she  grew  up  in  the  american  deep  south,  the  baby  of  a  well-established  pureblood  family.  

with  four  older  siblings,  two  doting  parents,  and  a  fleet  of  nannies,  dorcas  was  never  in  want  of  attention.  basil  &  myra  meadowes  married  and  had  children  young  and  fast;  her  mother  had  dorcas’s  eldest  brother  when  she  was  only  twenty  one,  and  had  dorcas  (  the  youngest  )  five  years  later.  

(  her  siblings,  in  order:  montgomery,  or  monty.  the  only  boy,  aged  25.  clementine,  23.  the  twins,  willow  &  winona,  22.  and  last  comes  dorcas,  20.  )

their  parents  loved  them,  to  be  sure,  but  basil  &  myra  were  never  much  for  hard  work;  the  nannies  dealt  with  diaper  changes  and  crying  toddlers  and  scraped  knees.  

but  when  the  sun  was  shining,  the  meadowes  would  gather  their  offspring  and  spoil  them  rotten  with  picnics,  and  weekends  at  their  beach  home,  and  banquets  with  all  basil  &  myra’s  friends.  and  so  all  dorcas’s  childhood  memories  of  her  parents  are  of  laughter  and  golden  days  and  bliss.

basil  &  myra  held  frequent  catered  banquets,  the  adults  getting  flushed  and  tipsy  off  rot-your-teeth  sugary  drinks,  cooing  over  the  dolled-up  children.  dorcas  adored  the  attention.  she  loved  dressing  up  in  her  best  clothes  and  showing  off  the  meagre  magic  she  could  do  (  though  she  still  had  impressive  control  over  wandless  magic  for  a  child  )  and  being  patted  on  the  head  and  called  darling.

i’m  pretty  sure  jkr  has  said  that  ilvermorny  is  the  only  north  american  wizarding  school  but  i’m  gonna  go  ahead  and  say  fuck  that  cause  i  can’t  see  dorcas  and  her  siblings  going  to  ilvermorny,  since  1)  it’s  in  massachusetts  and  2)  it  “  has  the reputation  of  being  one  of  the  most  democratic,  least  elitist  of  all  the  great  wizarding  schools  ”  and  i  think  dorcas  would’ve  gone  to  a  preppier  school

also,  one  school  for  all  of  north  america  ?  yeah  ok,  sure

so  we’ll  say  she  went  to  a  smaller,  more  prestigious  wizarding  school  in  virginia,  the  wizarding  equivalent  of  a  private  school.  aglionby  academy  vibes  from  the  raven  cycle.  

it  wouldn’t  be  quite  fair  to  say  dorcas  excelled  in  school.  she  did  quite  well,  but  she  wasn’t  top  of  her  class.  more  like  …  fourth  in  her  class.  

she  wasn’t  even  top  in  her  siblings.  they  all  had  their  unofficial  roles  to  play.  monty  was  the  athletic  one,  clementine  was  the  brainy  one,  the  twins  were  charming  and  mischievous,  and  dorcas  …  dorcas  was  the  pretty  one.

but  that  doesn’t  bother  dorcas.  she  loves  her  siblings,  and  she  loves  her  parents.  everyone  knows  how  close  the  meadowes  family  is.

the  thing  about  dorcas  is  that  she  never  seems  bothered.  she  floats  through  life  with  a  carefree,  laissez-faire  attitude,  apple-cheeked  and  dimpled,  laughing  off  any  failure  that  comes  her  way,  because  hey,  no  big  deal,  it  wasn’t  that  important  anyway.  

(  if  you  asked  dorcas  what  is  important  to  her,  what  matters  to  her,  she  would  have  trouble  giving  you  an  answer.  )

dorcas  flits  from  short-lived  interest  to  short-lived  interest.  when  she  was  thirteen,  it  was  horseback  riding.  when  she  was  fourteen,  it  was  wandlore.  when  she  was  fifteen,  it  was  poetry.  but  none  of  them  lasted  very  long,  conquered  by  that  old  familiar  restless  boredom.

dorcas  is  the  quintessential  baby  sister  (  think  amy  march  )  which  is  why,  when  monty  enrolled  in  a  martial  arts  course,  dorcas  insisted  on  enrolling  as  well.  (  i  feel  like  wizards  probably  have  their  own  unique  styles  of  martial  arts,  but  i’m  gonna  say  it  was  something  like  jiu  jitsu  where  you  use  the  opponent’s  strength  against  them,  since  dorcas  is  fairly  small  )

soon  after,  monty  was  recruited  by  the  american  quodpot  team  and  had  to  leave.  but  dorcas  stayed  on.  something  about  the  thrill  of  it,  the  foreignness  and  the  physicality,  kept  her  hooked.  when  she  was  on  the  mat,  there  was  no  past  or  future,  just  in  the  moment.

not  that  she  vocalized  any  of  that.  if  you  asked  her,  it  was  just  a  fun  way  to  stay  in  shape.  

dorcas’s  parents  found  their  daughter’s  new  ‘  hobby  ’  strange,  but  delightful  and  cute,  trotting  it  out  as  a  fun  tidbit  at  parties  when  they  showed  dorcas  off.  did  you  know,  dorcas  reckons  she’s  a  wrestler  now  –  bless  her  !  watch  out,  she’s  dangerous  !  followed  by  a  round  of  laughter.

as  a  child,  dorcas  would’ve  loved  the  attention,  but  now,  it  was  starting  to  grate.  not  that  she  would’ve  ever  dreamed  of  protesting  —  she  loved  her  parents,  and  they  meant  well.  there  was  no  sense  in  making  a  big  deal  over  a  silly  hobby.  it  wasn’t  that  important  anyway.

the  only  person  who  took  her  seriously  was  her  coach,  a  fearsome,  grizzled  wizard  with  an  amusing  name.  in  fact,  robert  robertson  took  her  more  seriously  than  she  took  herself.  he  wouldn’t  let  her  quit  when  things  got  tough,  and  under  his  tutelage  she  branched  out,  explored  other  fighting  styles,  met  other  experts.  

her  parents’  interest  in  her  martial  training  waned  quickly,  especially  when  a  new  hobby  came  along,  one  with  well-defined  cheekbones  and  striking  grey  eyes.  seymour  darville  was  the  nephew  of  a  family  friend.  also  pureblood,  of  course.  he  and  dorcas  hit  it  off  right  away,  and  it  wasn’t  long  before  they  were  an  item  and  their  gossipy  relatives  finally  had  something  to  gossip  about.

years  went  by.  dorcas  grew  from  a  teenager  to  a  young  adult.  she  continued  her  training.  meanwhile,  her  relationship  with  seymour  solidified.  her  older  siblings  all  found  partners  and  wed  young,  just  like  their  parents.  dorcas  became  an  aunt  four  times  over.  their  gossipy  relatives  began  dropping  not-so-subtle  hints,  wondering  when  it  would  be  dorcas’s  turn  to  take  the  veil.  the  cement  of  dorcas’s  future  life  was  hardening.

seymour  proposed  over  a  candlelight  dinner  with  roses  and  a  ring,  violins  enchanted  to  serenade  them.  it  was  picture-perfect,  something  straight  out  of  a  romance  novel.

dorcas  didn’t  answer.  she  told  him  she  needed  time  to  think  about  it.  for  a  girl  unable  to  commit  to  most  things,  a  husband  was  an  awfully  big  commitment.  especially  one  she  feared  she’d  fallen  out  of  love  with.  but  her  family  was  expecting  it,  and  his  family  was  expecting  it,  and  besides,  there  was  nothing  that  made  a  girl  half  so  interesting  as  a  diamond  on  her  finger.  right  ?

and  that  was  when  dorcas  was  recruited  for  edin,  by  robert  robertson  personally.  dorcas  had  never  been  overseas  before.  she’d  always  stayed  home,  comfortable  with  the  spanish  moss,  the  peach  trees,  and  american  pureblood  tradition.  going  to  edin  would  be  …  insane.  training  to  be  a  hit  witch  ?  dorcas  wasn’t  a  hit  witch.  she’d  get  one  month  in  before  she  got  bored  and  wanted  to  leave.  not  to  mention  how  far  it  was.  and  she  had  family  in  georgia,  a  loving  boyfriend,  a  future.  

these  were  all  things  dorcas’s  family  said  when  she  told  them  she  would  be  going  to  the  united  kingdom  for  a  year.

i’m  just  worried  about  my  little  girl,  darlin’,  her  mother  said.  you’ve  never  been  so  far  from  home  before.  what  if  something  happens  ?  what  if  you  don’t  come  back  ?

to  which  dorcas  replied,  well,  of  course  i’m  coming  back.  i  can’t  miss  my  own  wedding.  

and  of  course,  that  derailed  their  protests  completely,  as  dorcas  knew  it  would.  dorcas  would  go  to  edin  and  play  hit  witch,  have  her  fun  for  a  year,  and  then  she  would  come  back  to  her  family  and  her  fiancé.  shackled  to  home  for  life.  and  edin,  and  dorcas’s  martial  training,  and  the  one  thing  she’d  committed  to  in  her  life,  would  stay  an  ocean  away.

some  other  things:

even  though  rappaport’s  law  forbidding  muggle  and  magic  interaction  was  lifted  in  1965,  when  dorcas  was  five  years  old,  the  segregation  between  muggle  and  magic  was  too  deeply  ingrained  to  fade  that  easily.  as  such,  dorcas  is  HELLA  clueless  about  the  muggle  world  !  her  private  school  had  very  few  muggleborns,  and  the  muggleborns  that  did  attend  kept  quiet  about  their  heritage.  there  was  no  muggle  studies  or  anything  of  the  sort.

she’s  also  used  to  being  rich  af  lol

other  than  on  the  mat,  dorcas  tends  to  avoid  conflict.  she’s  genuine,  kindhearted  and  optimistic,  and  remarkably  in  tune  with  others’  emotions,  though  her  pureblood  naïveté  might  rub  some  the  wrong  way.  

she’s  like  …  fucking  good  at  fighting.  she’s  nimble  and  surprisingly  strong,  and  people  tend  to  underestimate  her.  she  works  hard  to  keep  herself  in  top  physical  health.  she  eats  healthy  and  exercises  regularly.

this  was  a  fucking  NOVEL  i  am  so  sorry

[alldayeveryday-candycandycandy]

Hey matey I love your blog (and thank you for reblogging your art!!) But I am so Lost in FNAF lore even as an avid follower so is it possible that I can get some context on what happened (even an abridged vers. Is appreciated, I'm totally clueless rn ansbakshdi)!! uwu

firstly thank you so much! i will do my best to make what i think is a succinct summary of the lore of the games. 

Keep in mind that this IS abridged. I’m leaving out a lot of other details.

It might be more helpful to follow the trails of both William and Michael Afton. I’ll go game by game, though this is NOT in any chronological order. Time in the FNAFverse is touchy, tricky, and eraseable. But let’s do the best we can, yeah?

As of FFPS (FNAF 6 or the Pizzeria Simulator) it has been widely accepted that Michael Afton has been most, if not all, of the protagonists from the other 5 games. I believe this is based off of Scott’s Dawko interview. That interview is not only VERY enjoyable but is almost required for some lore experiences… even tho Scott said he wasn’t gonna reveal lore oops. 

So in FNAF 1 we’re following Michael, going under Mike Schmidt, who is working undercover for a Freddy’s location. in this game we get mention of the 5 missing kids, that an employee was accused but no bodies or evidence was ever found. The Bite of ‘87 is mentioned, with someone being chomped in the frontal lobe, but no other info is really given about that scenario.

Michael reappears under Jeremy in FNAF 2. It is debatable whether FNAF 2 comes chronologically before FNAF 1; I personally don’t think it does. In FNAF 2, Mike does little but survive. There is a bit of lore in the tapes, referring to certain springlock suits that double as animatronics and costumes, but are very dangerous as they can snap and kill you.

On William’s side, we learn in FNAF 2 that William, here referred to as Purple Guy since we didn’t know who he was back then, was the one who lured the kids into the back room and killed them. The ghosts of the kids forced him into a rabbit suit, whose hair-trigger mechanics immediately killed him.

FNAF 3, Michael reappears as the Fright Guard, who has to fend off Springtrap - in reality the child-killer William Afton come back to life - as well as suffer attacks from Phantom versions of the animatronics. This story is a little more interactive on his side, as secret minigames prompt you to find and save the dead kids’ souls. All kids found and saved results in a good ending, so we’ll pretend that was the case. At the end of the game, the place is burned down, allegedly with Springtrap inside of it. 

FNAF 4 - well, there’s a lot of debate here. FNAF 4, you play as a person, a kid, in an impossibly-designed house, being attacked by nightmarish versions of the animatronics. Meanwhile a story plays out involving a kid whose brother bullies and terrifies him constantly, ending with the kid being shoved into Fredbear’s mouth and having his head bitten. There is some debate whether the character we play as is the bitten kid (commonly known as Bite Victim or BV) or the older brother. There is also speculation whether the older brother is Michael Afton, which would mean that the Afton family consists of four known people: William, Michael, Elizabeth, and BV. I personally don’t think this is the case; i think BV and the brother belong to a different family. 

William appears in FNAF 4 as the Purple Guy but is only seen helping an employee into a suit. There is something naturally ominous about this since we know he’s responsible for some murders, but it also shows us that he is alive at this point, meaning FNAF 4 is a prequel. How far back, we’re not sure, but many fans assume 1983 or 1987.

Sister Location/FNAF 5 canonically shows us Michael Afton, infiltrating an underground rental facility containing the Funtime animatronics. Michael is led/saved by a female voice, allegedly of Circus Baby, who is revealed to be another child of William Afton named Elizabeth. Michael collects a small chip from the Circus Baby animatronic shortly before being ‘scooped’, which results in his body being taken over by Ennard, an amalgam of all the previously-scooped Funtimes. ‘Michael’ is shown in various stages of decay before Ennard is ejected from his body. He strangely comes back to life, with Circus Baby’s voice assuring him that ‘he won’t die’. At the end cutscene, we see Springtrap emerging from Fazbear’s Fright’s ashes, over Michael’s narration that he is coming to find his father. 

Out of the games, via back-and-forth source code from scottgames.com and fnafworld.com, we see a scene played out where Ennard rejected Circus Baby’s ‘personality’ from itself, after a row with the other animatronics Ennard contained. Circus Baby went on to get a new body, now known as Scrap Baby, and Ennard allegedly devolved to become Molten Freddy. Springtrap has returned in a worse condition, now known as Scraptrap, and the three find themselves attracted to a new Freddy’s location. This starts FNAF 6/FFPS. 

FFPS also follows Michael, who uses a ‘make your own restaurant’ advertisement in order to confront the three scrap animatronics. There is an additional threat from a bear called Lefty, who has an ulterior purpose. After gathering all of the scraps and Lefty in the pizzeria, the trick is revealed - the pizzeria is actually an inescapable maze, which a mysterious man we call “Cassette Man” (or Henry - it’s most likely Henry) created in an attempt to destroy the scraps permanently. This also destroys Lefty. Michael has been given the choice to leave before the place burns, but the Cassette Man claims he thinks Michael will stay, which he does. 

Through FFPS we learn a little more about William. He was Cassette Man’s/Henry’s partner and friend, who used that position to lure and kill several children. The purpose of this is suggested, as in FFPS we can see blueprints for Sister Location’s scooping machine, which is able to extract and inject something called ‘remnant’. It is theorized that this remnant can heal or bring people back to life, which is how William survived his springlock suit death. Cutscenes in FFPS show William, in the Spring Bonnie suit, interacting with a blonde girl (allegedly Susie) whom he lures in by telling her her dog hasn’t been killed but is with him. He also lures a boy whose father is abusive, breaking the child’s bedroom window and absconding with him, leaving rabbit footprints behind him. William is also seen killing a girl with a green bracelet, who is then protected/possessed by the Puppet. 

Lefty’s goal is to contain the Puppet, leading to the Puppet and Lefty burning at the end of FFPS. Cassette Man states that the green bracelet girl was his daughter, who is now the Puppet, and who led other souls to peace (re: FNAF 2 where the Puppet brings souls to the animatronics).

UCN, Ultimate Custom Night, is not viewed as canon but does deliver us a nice slew of characters and voices and of course a little lore. There is MASSIVE debate whether the character we play as is still Michael or whether it is William Afton. Either way, UCN seems to be centered around a perpetual sort of Hell, where the player is subject to continuous attacks by various series characters. UCN theories would lead to ANOTHER essay-sized diatribe, which I’ll spare you. Honestly, watch a walkthrough, watch the ridiculous cutscenes, watch any video on it at all. It’s not canon so it doesn’t matter a whole lot. 

FNAF VR or FNAF Help Wanted is a VR game where you play as a game tester. It is ‘revealed’ that all the other fnaf games were just a mockery (or a coverup) by Fazbear Entertainment Inc to eliminate suspicion that anything bad was happening at Freddy’s. You play through VR versions of the other games, and your success reveals a suspicious rabbity figure behind you. Tapes that you can collect reveal the presence of Tape Girl, who was another tester who saw some suspicious activity, namely the ‘possession’ of another tester named Jeremy. She eventually tells you that there is something malicious in the game’s code that can affect the player in the real world. You soon come in contact with this thing, which fans call “Malhare/Glitchtrap/Springbonnieman(file name)”. In the final level of the game, it tricks the player into a maze where it lies in wait at the end. You are eventually possessed by this glitch and end up at the point of view of Freddy on stage, signifying that you have been trapped in an animatronic. However, performing a series of commands before Malhare can ‘get’ you traps the rabbit in a plush form of itself. 

And that’s not even counting the novel series!! Simple, right?? If I’m missing anything, please let me know. It’s not an easy series to understand.