#when talking about clarke griffin and her fuck ups

[butmakeitgayblog]

Yes I’m born ready for THAT convo about the real MVP of moms 💪💪💪 Anything for MBFW 🫠

Babe she is the fuckin shit as a mom. Okay? Cuz for for the majority of her teen years she never really thought she'd want to ever have kids considering how she grew up, but then she met Clarke and the entire Griffin broad basically adopted her and it was like "👀 wait a min... this family thing's kinda the tits..." But even after that, she really had no intention of actually giving birth. It wasn't that she was against it per se, it was just... when they'd abstractly talked about having kids sometime in the distant future, it was always with the unspoken understanding that Clarke would carry them. It was just such a given that neither even really discussed it, even after they got married and settled in and decided to actually start trying.

And then Clarke had two miscarriages.

And was told it probably just wasn't going to be a reality for them.

And as soon as that was made clear by the doctor, Lexa held up her hand and was like "haha no, we're having these kids 🙋‍♀️Griffin baby uterus right here ready to go, hi 🙋‍♀️"

Cuz honestly, what could be better? She not only gets to be a part of this familiy that took her in and cared for her even when sometimes she maybe didn't always deserve it, but she also gets to bring another little one into the world?! She gets to have her own little Griffins??? Every family reunion and holiday gathering she gets to have her own little pack of the chaotic broad running around? Hearing the, uh, more senile members grumbling "which ones are those again?" and somebody saying, "That's your great grand-niece, Marvin. You remember. Clarke and Lexa's kids."

Insanity.

Amazing.

10/10 experience.

And the best part?

She got to give that to Clarke. She got to make Clarke a mother too. For all of her fuck ups in life, she get to give Clarke the thing they'd been dreaming about since they were 19.

And she was not going to take it for granted. So Lexa absolutely becomes the kind of mom who works to find the right balance. Schedules chore charts and play dates and the quintessential soccer mom SUV, saying ok to ice cream before bed but only if they eat three bites of broccoli. She reads bedtime stories with funny voices after Clarke handles bathtime and makes a big deal over all their finger painting (and is much better at remembering to empty the trashcan when they throw them away in 2 weeks before their little artists can see 😬). She shush's Clarke's yelling whenever she's embarrassing their daughter from the stands when Madi eventually starts little league. She's the first one to learn sign language after Aden comes along and is intensely serious about raising him with all the tools he needs to be exactly who he is.

She still keeps her career going as a writer, but after... well, everything. And how badly she once fucked all this up with Clarke, she always tries and takes the steps to keep work and home life balanced. She wants to raise their kids knowing that their mother's are not only wives and partners in every aspect of life, but are also the epitome of best friends.

She's not perfect by any means. She loses her patience and gets worn out and sometimes makes the wrong call when it comes to their kids. But she tries, and never stops trying, and she always comes back and apologizes right to their little faces whenever she realizes she's messed up. Because she'll never want their kids to feel the same kind of sadness and fear of being a disappointment like she felt when she was growing up. She'll never want them to ever wonder if they matter less to her than her own happiness, like she'd struggled with when thinking about her own mother when she was a kid.

So yeah, she may never have envisioned her life the way it turns out. But, like Clarke reminds her every time she's feeling insecure or like she's not doing Enough, Lexa really was born to be a mom

[owl127]

Can youuuu…mayyybe…please write something containing a 🗡️ character and a jockstrap. Ugh something about jockstraps, mouth guards, and feminine girls doing masculine things is so hot🥵

read on Ao3

Reading @lexa-griffins talk about wanheda’s dagger got me inspired, so… *throws confetti in the air*

Lexa’s boots kicked dirty on her way to the bus stop.

“Lexa!” The cries behind her continued, along with the annoying click of cleats against asphalt. “Lexa, wait!”

Ignoring the girl running after her, Lexa climbed onto the bus without looking back. The driver looked her pursuer and rolled her eyes, signaling for the dirty athlete to hop into the campus bus.

“Thanks, Carla!” Lexa heard, and of course she would be friends with the bus drivers, because apparently, Clarke Griffin is very friendly with people. Girls in particular.

Lexa looked straight ahead as Clarke Griffin, captain of the soccer team, president of the debate club, LGBTQ+ alliance vice-president, and a fucking player sat next to her. Clarke swore at the mud tracks following her and lowered her socks with a long sigh.

“Lexa—” Clarke tried, but Lexa mmf-ed and turned her back to the alpha. “Okay, this is getting ridiculous.”

“You’re the one tracking mud on school property.”

“Brittany is like, nothing, she’s—”

“Have you slept with her?” Lexa turned to look into Clarke’s eyes, searching for honesty, trust, anything that would make the last three months she dedicated to this woman worth it. She found honesty, yes, but regretted it immediately.

“Not recently!” Clarke defended. “She likes to cheer in every game, and she keeps saying we’re seeing each other, but Lex, I haven’t been with her since before I met you!”

Lexa squinted her eyes, watching a bead of sweat forming on Clarke’s forehead.

“Okay, maybe once after we met, but we weren’t exclusive back then!”

The logic part of Lexa’s brain argued that Clarke had a point, and even Lexa had been on a fruitless date after she met Clarke. Had she thought about Clarke all the time? Totally. Did it in the end it help her see she was actually into the charming athlete? Yes, but irrelevant at the moment, since now the unreasonable part of Lexa’s brain kept replaying Brittany’s voice: “And that’s Clarke, number 10. She’s the captain. She’s also delicious.” A pink tongue over lipstick gloss had accompanied that statement, and a graphic image of that girl on her knees for Clarke had made Lexa escape the match as soon as she could.

Clarke had seen the iteration from the sidelines and had abandoned the bench in obvious pursuit.

“Are we exclusive?” Clarke asked when Lexa refrained from commenting. “I… I thought we were.” The girl swallowed, setting her face in the same hard angles as when she kicked a penalty. “I want us to be,” she said, extending a hand between them.

Lexa signed and took the offered hand in hers, feeling how warm it was, despite the fall leaves rushing past the bus window. She loved how warm Clarke’s hands were, a dichotomy to her always freezing extremities. Lexa mumbled something, and Clarke leaned closer, asking, “what was that?”

“Maybe I overreacted,” Lexa confessed, the almost empty bus a witness to the fact. “I hated seeing that girl talking about your dick like she owned it.”

Red crept into Clarke’s cheeks, making its way to her ears. “Well… she doesn’t,” Clarke said, one hand around Lexa’s waist. “You do,” she whispered, and Lexa’s face flushed with heat. “I want to be exclusive. If there’s any girl out there bragging about my dick, I want it to be you.”

“How romantic.”

“You’re into it,” Clarke argued, her bright eyes following Lexa’s scarf until it hid inside her jacket.

Logic once more piped up in Lexa’s mind that the girl had a point. The thong she had worn to celebrate Clarke’s game dampened with proof.

“You didn’t bring your phone or anything?” Lexa asked. “You just ran after me?”

“Of course. I couldn’t let you go looking pissed like that! And Octavia will pick up my shit.”

“So it’s not the first time you abandon your team celebration to pursue a girl?”

Panic flashed in Clarke’s eyes and Lexa felt merciful. “I guess from now on you’ll only be doing this for me.”

“Yeah.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheeks, sighing in relief. “My apartment is not far from here,” she said, the kiss lingering. “And I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

“Oh.” Lexa’s heart picked up, her cold hands warming up in her fingerless gloves. “If it’s out of desperation, we need to stop.”

“You’re so kind.”

With Octavia and the rest of the team still back at the football complex, there was no reservation for stripping as soon as they stumbled into Clarke’s apartment. The spare key with her neighbor was worth it (the assistant professor had looked the couple up and down and threw the key in their direction before closing the door and turning her TV colossally loud). Clarke’s shirt and cleats didn’t make it to the hallway, and Lexa’s pants puddled by the bathroom’s door. Lexa pulled the athletic shorts down and met the hard resistance of a jockstrap cup.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable?” she asked, drumming her fingers on top of the hard carbon fiber.

“Right now it’s pretty uncomfortable.” Clarke chuckled and kissed Lexa’s neck hard enough to bruise. “But that’s your fault.”

Lexa focused on Clarke’s high ponytail next, letting the blonde tresses free under the white light. “Yeah,” Lexa said, “it is.”

“Feeling possessive, huh?” Clarke nipped at the soft skin under Lexa’s chin while stepping out of her shorts, completely nude. Clarke moaned at the hands exploring her broad shoulders, digging into her trapezius, and scratching her deltoids. Lexa admired Clarke’s curves, but she salivated at her muscles.

A moan froze in a gasp as Lexa felt for Clarke’s erection, now free from the confines of jock straps and tight, athletic shorts. “Very possessive,” Lexa said, moving her hand in deliberate slowness, pushing eager hips back when Clarke tried to increase the pace. “You can be the leader of your team, but here” — a strong squeeze that made Clarke whine — “I’m captain.” The exhale on Lexa’s shoulder was nothing but a moan.

“Fuck,” Clarke said, her head surrendering to Lexa’s biceps as she mercifully started moving her hand.

Clarke smelled like sweat, and heat, and vetiver, and Lexa had it all for herself. She inhaled deeply, her brain creating a new pathway for that scent of love, need, and lust. Lexa prided herself on being an omega in full authority of her body and desires, but as Clarke groaned on her neck, Lexa surrendered to the primal need of control.

“Come for me, babe,” she said, softly albeit with a command, and poor Clarke followed like a trained puppy.

Lexa held her close as Clarke trembled, expending the last of her strength over Lexa’s olive skin. When Clarke’s knee threatened to buckle, Lexa guided the exhausted girl under the hot shower stream.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke mumbled as water covered her mouth. Lexa distracted herself with shampooing Clarke’s hair, and the fresh scent of mint and vetiver filled the fogging air.

“About what?”

Clarke turned to look Lexa in the eyes, all half-lidded and yawning. “I’m sorry for not being clear about being exclusive before. I was afraid.”

Lexa nuzzled the shampoo suds away from Clarke’s cheek. “Afraid?” she asked.

Clarke hugged her under the water, their wet bodies molding together. The water soothed Lexa’s skin, but Clarke remained her major source of warmth. “I was afraid you’d say no.”

“How could I not?” Lexa kissed her girlfriend — seemed safe to call her that way — until they were out of breath. “I hate sports, and you got me outside in a chilly morning just to watch you kicking some balls.”

“It’s one ball.”

“Whatever. Come here.”

Clarke obeyed, her hand sliding down beautiful curves to elicit a moan from Lexa. She responded in kind, hardening between them.

Octavia was pissed when she arrived home from their game and there was no hot water.

[lexa-griffins]

Dilf Clarke and Milf Lexa are both single parents. They meet when they drop off their kids for a weekend trip through their school. They're quickly infatuated with each other and Clarke invites Lexa back to her place for lunch. Lunch turns into dessert and then drinks and soon they're naked and fucking

Their kids seem to have found quite the friendships, with both of their sons being attatched to the hip it seems. This is however the very first time they are meeting one another. They've heard about each other from their kids but it's nice to put a face to their kid's friend's mom.

Very, very nice indeed.

Theu wave the kids goodbye as the bus pulls away, awkwardly standing next to each other until Lexa offers for them to go have coffee, making a comment it's nice not to be the only single parent around it seems.

Clarke agrees and they spend an afternoon talking about their kids. And then work. And then their past relationships, Lexa having ended much more amicably than Clarke's as it seems.

Flirting is not something that comes naturally to neither anymore and yet, here they are, constantly making flirty remarks at one another.

And when Clarke asks her over for dinner, promising Lexa some pasta she guarantees will ruin every other for her, Lexa gladly agrees.

Her house is much like Lexa's, a reassurance that Lexa didn't know she needed, the constant mess seems to always catch up to her not matter how hard she tries.

Pasta turns into cleaning up and cleaning up quickly turns into wine and beer on the couch, Lexa's heels tossed alongside Clarke boots as they laugh on the couch.

Maybe it's the way Lexa touches Clarke's arm or the way Clarke draws circles on Lexa's thigh. But soon their faces are inches apart and soon after that Lexa is on top of Clarke, hand in her hair as Clarke's hands rest on her hips, slowly moving underneath her shirt.

They made it to the bedroom somehow, hitting walls and furniture, whispered fucks and soft giggles as they make their way towards it.

In the heat of the moment Lexa pushes Clarke on to the bed, pulling her shirt above her arms and letting her skirt fall to the floor before throwing herself at Clarke. Her tights are still on, Lexa forgetting them for the moment.

It isnt until she has Clarke naked and has been thrown on to the bed on all fours that she realizes they are still there. Not until Clarke doesn't bother with taking them off, instead ripping the thin fabric with her hands and creating enough space to move Lexa's underwear to the side and pushing her dick in.

Its fun and dirty. Clarke makes her call her daddy and Lexa does, despite not being a fun of the kink, simply because it feels good at the moment. She begs and pleas, moans when Clarke's hand wraps around her neck as she fucks her from behind, bites Clarke's hand as she ruts inside on her with abandon, smiling when Clarke moans at the feeling.

She sucks Clarke's dick and nearly chokes with the the sheer size of it in her mouth, but still moans when Clarke kisses her while her cum is still dripping from the corner of her mouth.

She sits on Clarke's face even when she always fears she might suffocate someone if she does. She rides Clarke's toungue and actually breaks a small piece of woods from Clarke intricate bed frame. She tries to apologize but Clarke's toungue is on her again, accepting her apology by bringing her to a second orgasm.

Lexa feels alive for the first time in a good while. It is clear Clarke feels the same. It feels good to fuck without being scared someone will hear them or the thought of their exes on their mind.

Despite the warmth of the day they go and pick up their kids from the trip, Lexa wears a turtleneck, hidding the collection of hickeys and bruises on her neck and chest and Clarke's jacket hides arms and back adorned with blunt nail scratches.

"Mom, can Theo and Miss Griffin have dinner with us? Please?" Lexa's son asks, looking at her with pleading eyes.

Lexa steals a look at Clarke, who looks much like the kids making begging eyes at her.

"Why not? I'm sure you too have a lot to tell me and Clarke."

The kids high five and jump with excitment, running towards their respective cars, happily surprised when they find them parked next to each other.

Clarke and Lexa walk towards the cars behind them, and Clarke's fingers brush Lexa's, "You sure about this?"

Lexa gives her a sparkling smile, "might be best to ease them into it then telling them all at once werseeing each other. Besides," Lexa points with her chin towards the two boys, who are playfully teting to hit one another, "I doubt they'll be mad spending more time together. They already act like brothers anyways."

[audi0med1c]

Clexa Modern AU as Celebrity Exes- "Is It Over Now?"

CHAPTER 1- THE RESTAURANT

The absolute last thing Clarke wanted to see tonight on her rare chance to dine out was Lexa fucking Woods.

Lexa Woods, in her signature dark grey Armani suit.

On a date.

Before she could successfully grab her best friend's arm to duck out and choose another restaurant, those green eyes flick over and meet hers, as if she had been waiting on her to arrive.

"Shit you gotta be fucking kidding me." She hisses, earning a concerned look from the dark-haired girl just in front of her.

"What?" The girl says, looking Clarke up and down for something wrong.

"She's fucking HERE."

"Who is?" The girl says, turning to scan the dining room.

Clarke grabs her arm to stop her from turning, "No don't look don't-" but winces when it's clearly too late. Both of their eyes meet those green ones still locked onto them.

Lexa is holding a glass of red wine, and raises it slightly in their direction, shooting them her signature grin that Clarke would love to walk over and smack right off her annoyingly beautiful face.

"We can go somewhere else, Clarke, come on."

A flash goes off outside, as the first of what will eventually be many paparazzi snaps a picture through the restaurant's front window.

"No," Clarke says, "I'm not giving her that satisfaction."

They wait to be seated, and as the waiter is pouring their first glasses of wine the third member of their party arrives, fashionably late as always.

"Um since when do they seat VIPs off in the corner? Wasn't the reservation under Clarke Griffin? Your art is literally hanging in their lobby."

Clarke hates when Raven uses that term, as she never expects or cares about getting any sort of special treatment anywhere. Actually she'd prefer blending in and being invisible most of the time.  

"We aren't the only VIPs tonight." Clarke uses the term sarcastically, nodding her head in the direction over the girl's shoulder, "And I requested this table, so just sit Raven."

"Ohhhh damn what are the odds of that?" Raven chuckles, pulling out her seat and taking a long sip of wine, shooting a glance at the other girl with them.

"Octavia stop looking, Jesus." Clarke kicks the girl's shin under the table.

Clarke had asked for the table on the far side of the dining room, away from as much of the crowd as possible, and took the seat that kept Lexa mostly in her line of sight without having to turn her head and be obvious.

"She's still watching you." Octavia says, not even trying to hide looking over her shoulder at the pair behind them.

"Ugh ok maybe I can't fucking stay here." Clarke motions to their waitress.

Raven is typing on her phone under the table, which Octavia catches out of the corner of her eye.

Raven: You didn't think to tell me Lexa was coming here tonight???

The three dots hover in the bottom corner for what feels like forever.

Anya: How would I know that?!?! Wait who is she there with??

Raven: A blonde. A HOT blonde.

Anya: Oh god. Can't wait to hear about this when you get home.

Clarke catches Raven typing on her phone under the table, and then notices Lexa casually check her phone a few seconds later and shoot another grin in her direction.

"Really Rae?" Clarke says, annoyed, "Can you leave Anya out of this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." The girl says not even trying to hide her smile. 

The waitress, a bubbly young girl with short bouncy auburn curls looks nervous when she approaches.

"Yes Ms. Griffin, are you ready to order?" Clarke is always sure to be overly nice to waitstaff, or any staff when she is out in public. She honestly hates most of the things that come with being so easily recognizable, particularly the stereotype of celebrities being entitled, petulant, or conceited. It's not something she intentionally sought, or even thought was possible when she pursued art full-time after college and found her own moderate success. Any level of celebrity status could never go to her head, as she will always be the small-town girl from the East Coast town of Polis, who grew up with next to nothing and never quite felt like she belonged in a place like L.A. to begin with.

But dating one of Hollywood's hottest A-listers will certainly put you on people's radar.

Clarke leans in towards the waitress, "Actually, we will take the check for the wine, I completely forgot about a previous commitment I need to get to, but can I order a bottle of Dom Perignon, for the table right over there before we go?" She motions with her head towards the table where Lexa is now very obviously pretending to laugh at whatever the bimbo across from her is saying.

"Of course, will that be all for you tonight?"

"Actually, if I give you an extra hundred dollars, will you relay a message when you bring over the bottle? A toast of sorts."

The two girls across from her are trying to keep a straight face, but watch wide-eyed as Clarke whispers something into the waitresses' ear, and hands over her Amex card.

The girl's face when she straightens up is a mix of nervous and giddy, understanding the context of the request.

The history of the two patrons was no secret – it had been front page of the tabloids for months after their very public, very messy breakup. Now it was just the simple annoyance of whatever bullshit spin came out of their occasional run-ins or when they attended the same events.

"I'll be right back." Clarke says, pushing back from the table to stand. 

"Wait where are you going?" Octavia calls after her.

"Bathroom." She replies over her shoulder, heading towards the hallway on the far end of the dining hall. She made sure to keep her eyes straight ahead as she walked past the brunette and her date nonchalantly, but the familiar aroma of Dior perfume crawled up her nostrils and she hated how good it smelled.

It reminded her of silk sheets and long nights, her hands sliding over hips and thighs and feeling the hot breath of whispered sighs.

Don't you dare. She thought to herself, shaking the memories from her head. 

She stared at herself a good long while in the bathroom, both expecting and dreading the door to open. When it doesn't, she touches up her red lipstick, adjusts herself in her skin-tight black cocktail dress so her already exposed cleavage is just a tad more on display, and heads back out to the dining room.

Her friends are already at the hostess stand, waiting for her before heading out past the now moderate amount of paparazzi that must have heard her and Lexa were spotted in public at the same place for the first time in months.

A small grin tugs at her lips as she passes the brunette's table, noting the new bottle of vintage champagne that sits opened with two glasses poured but not being touched, and a now slightly miffed date that shoots up an embarrassed look when she notices Clarke passing by.

Clarke bends over far more than necessary as she signs the bill left on the table, tipping an additional $50 on top of the $100 she promised because the look on the young girl's face was honestly better than she could have hoped for and collects her Amex card. As she heads to join her friends at the front she hears a muffled voice from behind apologize and excuse themselves as they stand up from their table.

The warning looks on her friends' faces tell her to expect the hand that tugs her backwards as she reaches the hostess stand, pulling her to the side at the front of the restaurant.

The velvety scent of Dior wafts into her nose again, and those green eyes are much closer to her than they need to be, but she doesn't step back. At least not yet.

"Really Clarke?" Comes the expected reprimand, "Here's to the search for something greater? Classy."

"She's practically my clone." Clarke shrugs sharply.

Lexa remains unamused.

"Hardly, she's missing your signature....what is it..." Lexa dramatically gestures with her hand, searching for the right word... "Soul-sucking abrasiveness."

"Fuck off, Lexa."

"There's that mouth." Grinned the brunette.

"Bet you miss this mouth." Clarke shoots back.

Lexa's grin widens, "Actually yeah, just had a dream about it the other night."

"You dream of my mouth before or after it called you a lying traitor?"

Lexa takes a slight step closer to the blonde, ignoring the camera flashes going off outside the front window.

"You've called me worse." She utters smugly.

"I said fuck off Lex."

"Or you could fuck me yourself."

Clarke tries not to show how caught off-guard she is by the quick retort, and especially tries to hide how flustered she suddenly is. She leans into her annoyance at the brazen overconfidence.

"Pretty sure it's the only way you'd be getting fucked tonight...I know a pillow princess when I see one, and THAT," she nods her head back in the direction of Lexa's table and abandoned date, who's now anxiously sipping on her wine, trying not to be obvious at her constant glances towards the pair at the front of the restaurant, "That right there is a girl who is here for the free dinner, the free drinks, and the free orgasms after and that's it."

"Make me a better offer then." Lexa smiles as she tries to step even closer, but Clarke pushes back with a hand up at the girl's shoulder that was now inches away from her.

"There is no offer. I'm surprised you haven't run out of blonde models by now anyway, so enjoy however many you have left before you have to slum it with some brunettes."

"Heyyyyy!!" Raven and Octavia chime from the door, pretending to be offended. Both had been inching closer, shamelessly eavesdropping.

"You never run out of blonde models in LA." Lexa shrugs, "But I don't even know her. I'm just doing my agent a favor, and she's who suggested coming here. What was I supposed to do say 'no actually this was my ex's favorite place and she might possibly be here on this one random Wednesday night?'"

"Sure why not?"

Lexa rolls her eyes, "Are we jealous Clarkey?"

"WE...aren't anything." Clarke snaps, motioning between the two of them.

"Well WE..." Lexa gestures back towards her table, "Aren't anything either...so can you drop the hostility?"

Clarke muses over the girl at the table, "Blue eyes, that's enough for at least a few dates by your standards."

"You're practically insulting yourself at this point you know..." Lexa huffs amusingly. She was having way too much fun getting a rise out of Clarke. The blonde purses her lips, her eyes dropping down to the plush lips in front of her quickly but not quick enough, because Lexa catches it and takes her bottom lip between her teeth, dropping her own eyes to Clarke's mouth for a prolonged moment before bringing them back up to meet blue eyes.

"Can I go now?" Clarke says annoyed, "Your date is waiting."

"She can stay waiting." Lexa breathes as she dares reach a hand around Clarke's lower back, but the blonde is quick to swat her away and step backwards.

"This is not happening...."

"Again." Lexa adds with a smirk.

Clarke rolls her eyes.

"This is not happening again." She corrects. The last time she showed up at Lexa's penthouse she had convinced herself was only out of convenience. It had been a while since she'd gotten laid and the thought of meaningless small talk with a stranger or worse, someone she'd have to face again at work or in some overlapping social circle was too much of a headache. So when she ran into Lexa at a nightclub nearby and got a simple text at bar close saying "Damn Griffin, I know you wore that dress tonight just so I could take it off you.  Door is unlocked."  She figured it technically wasn't much different than any other one-night stand.

Right?

But in this moment she regrets having fed into the already overinflated ego that is Lexa Woods: Actress, musician, and professional flirt.

She will deal with the heat between her thighs and knot forming in her lower stomach later. If not with whatever name responds first when she leaves here, then with one of her many battery-powered friends in her nightstand.

"Whatever you say, Clarke." The brunette finally scoffs nonchalantly, and with one final lick of her lips, Lexa gives one more intentional glance down at Clarke's mouth before turning to head back into the dining hall, making a show of her return to her table by reaching for the waiting girl's hand and placing a quick kiss on the back of it before taking her seat again and lifting her champagne glass to cheers.

"Damn Clarke I'm impressed... I would have folded." Raven admits, opening the door as they rush out to a waiting town car, flashes immediately going off as soon as they are outside.

"Clarke! Clarke!" A few of the photographers try to get her attention, but she puts a hand up to try and block her face as Octavia gets the car door open.

"Clarke! How do you feel about Lexa bringing a date to your guys' spot?"

"Clarke what did Lexa say to you before you left?"

"Do you enjoy getting paid to harass people?" Raven harps at the small crowd as she follows Clarke and Octavia into the back seat.

Once the door is closed and they pull away, Clarke sighs, rubbing the space between her eyebrows.

"Well if you want her, have at it." She says almost dejectedly. "I told you, it's over between us."

Raven and Octavia exchange a quick glance before Raven squeaks out a response, cocking her head inquisitively.

"I mean.... is it really over now?"

------------------------------------------------- 

Follow along this rollercoaster contest of who can act like they care less....

archive link here

wattpad:

[blu3haw4]

Clexa au idea for the sex lives of college girls and fortnite

Clarke and Lexa attend the same college who are introverts and keep to themselves. They both meet playing fortnite and love chatting with each other. There's lots of flirting too online. After learning they attend the same school, they make plans to meet up. One thing leads to another and they have sex

OKAY FINE! Not where i thought we were going, but fine. If you insist 😌

Let's do some character work, bc the first thought of an introvert for me is like... shy maybe, and I know that's not it but... Clarke Griffin isn't SHY (Lexa either but, let's do Clarke first)

I'd like a definition of introvert for Clarke as in 'i don't like people but I'll do it if i have to, and I'll look fucking great doing it'

When she says she's an introvert people don't believe her bc she's easy going and can be fun with anyone, she's a natural leader bc she knows how to direct people and how to delegate, and people like her, not always, but enough people, still, though she has friends and likes to hung out with those she likes, or go out and party, she'd much rather be by herself. Her social battery runs out often and she's the type of person to realize that only once she gets home and is suddenly drained, she's not the type to suddenly become quiet and bored, she slowly starts to get easily irritated until she realizes she just wants to go home.

I think it's so easy to make her and Raven bbfs for this one, where Raven is so much more of an extrovert that still loves her alone time bc she loves herself a lot, like she likes herself a bunch 'i love spending time with that bitch' typa-vibe and that bitch is herself. She also loves going out and being around people she likes, her definition of fun is having people around and doing something.

I think they meet in college and become fast friends bc they're roommates. If we're trying to keep a little of tslocg they would be four roommates that haven't met before, living in a dorm with one common area and two shared rooms, Clarke and Raven would share and the other two girls... I would have to thing about.

Octavia would be Lexa's friend, so let's jump to Lexa's definition of introvert, bc, though i can cope with her been shy, i don't necessarily like it much. So she would be 'I do a lot of thing that put me around a lot of people but that doesn't mean i want or like to interact with them'

I think like Clarke people also assume she's more of an extrovert but it comes as less of a shock that she's not. I think she's the type of person that is really quiet and might come off as rude sometimes but she's also around people that often think she's joking so they think she's fun; I'm talking a sport, music groups, maybe some science related extracurricular, she does them all and bc of it she has to hang out and be polite a bunch of people but she'd much rather be alone, she enjoys her time alone.

I think her and Octavia became friends over the sport (before college, probably high school) and maybe Lexa got her into music as well, i think Octavia was the kind of person to hate nice people and was drawn to Lexa for her somewhat coldness, i don't think Lexa liked her much at the begging, not for anything in particular but Octavia kinda just decided that they'd be friends, the type that didn't talk much and just gravitated towards each other and it just kinda... stuck. Lexa realized at some point that it wasn't just Octavia sitting beside her or picking her as a partner in class, now she was also looking for her, and they talked to each other about things they didn't talk to anyone else and Oh! Would you look at that? Now we're bbfs.

I think the explanation to them never seen each other before is mostly that they don't try to know people so they don't talk with anyone unless they have to, and also is a pretty big campus and they don't attend the same events like ever, Lexa doesn't do parties and Clarke doesn't do extracurriculars.

Oh, oh! Andddd they're both open to meeting people on (in?) games bc they're very competitive and sometime you find really good players and also sometimes really nice people, so that's how they meet. Open mic dous on a day they're both up to it. I think they only interact through they game up until the day they decide to meet up, kinda like they only talk while playing and maybe discord too but only to know when they're playing again. The flirting would only be during the game and the type that is like 'are we flirting? Or are we just joking'

SO i think all im missing are like... details 😅 and well their sexual life/experiences and I should be ready to out line it and write it AFTER im done with my college stuff lol (practically next Friday) 🙂‍↕️ but today im relaxing so hit me up with questions about these two as individuals so I can draw a better picture of them in my head

Also who do you think are the other two roommates for Clarke?🤔

[naturesapphic]

Hey this is super random, but I was scrolling through the Clarke Griffin tag and saw you wanted to write for her. If you still do, could you please write something soft and comforting with her?

“We’re going to be okay”

Clarke griffin x fem!reader

Warnings: cussing, comfort/hurt, fluff :)

You woke up suddenly with the feeling of falling. Looking around you see people in seats with straps around them to keep them from out of the seats. You kept looking around until you looked over to your right and see your girlfriend Clarke looking bewildered and scared. “Clarke? Clarke!” You exclaimed and Clarke immediately looked over to you and tried to get to you but couldn’t move. “Y/n! Oh my goodness you’re okay!” She said and you looked at her with tears and fear in your eyes which made clarkes heart break. “It’s okay y/n/n…I’m here…I’ll protect you I promise.” She reassured you until she heard a voice “welcome back” her ex best friend said to her. “Look-“ wells started but was interrupted by your girlfriend.

“Wells, why the hell are you here?” Clarke asked him sternly and you winced slightly at her time. “When I heard that they were sending prisoners to the ground I got myself arrested.” Wells explained to Clarke and she looked surprised. “I came for you and y/n” he explained and then there was some crash sound and the lights blinked a couple of times. “What the fuck was that?” Clarke exclaimed at wells. “That, was the atmosphere.” Wells said and suddenly a tv came on showing the chancellor talking to us. Suddenly finn decided that it would be such a great idea to get out his seat which caused him to float. “Check it out. Your dad floated me after all.” Fin said cockily. “You should strap in before the parachutes deploy.” Wells instructed finn. Then Clarke spoke “hey! You two! Stay put if you want to live!” She demanded as she saw two people trying to unzip and get out of the restraints.

“Hey, you’re the traitor who’s been in solitary for a year.” Finn said. “And you’re the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk.” She barked back at him. “And you must also be the traitor’s girlfriend.” He said to you and you rolled your eyes at him. “Yes I am and if you have a problem with it then so float yourself.” You bit back at him which caused Clarke to smile proudly at you. “The spacewalking was fun. I’m Finn.” He said and the both of you just looked at him. Then Clarke looked over to where the two boys were at “stay in your seats!” She urged and then the parachutes popped up and Finn was slammed into someone and the other two boys got slammed on the side of the aircraft ship.

“Finn are you okay?!” Both you and Clarke said at the same time and everyone started freaking out. “Retrorockets ought to have fired by now.” Wells yelled out to Clarke and you. “Okay…everything on this ship is one hundred years old right? Just give it a second!” Reassured both of you. “Clarke! There’s something I have to tell you! I’m sorry I got your father arrested.” He tried to apologize. “Don’t you talk about my father!” Clarke exclaimed. “Please! I can’t die knowing that you hate me!” He pleaded. “They didn’t arrest my father wells! They executed him! I do hate you!” Clarke said harshly and you looked at both of them sympathetically.

Then the lights went out and everyone started shouting. A crash was heard all throughout the ship and then the machines suddenly stopped. “Listen. No machine hum.” Monty explained. “Whoah…” jasper said as he looked around amazed. “That’s a first.” Said breathless. All of a sudden the buckles that were holding y’all in your seats were suddenly unbuckled and everyone immediately got out of them. You helped Clarke with hers and you got into her arms hurriedly which made her smile. “I’m so glad you are here baby.” She whispered against your hair and you nodded your head against her chest.

Clarke pulled away from the hug when she saw Finn on his knees next to the guy who decided to follow Finn in his footsteps and unbuckle himself during the landing. “Is he breathing.” Clarke said as she rushed over to Finn’s side. Finn just kept looking down and Clarke knew that he didn’t make it. “The outer door is on the lower level! Let’s go!” A random boy shouted. “No! We can’t just open the doors!” Clarke said rushing to where the man was and you rushed after her, staying by her side as she always wanted you to be. “Hey. Just back it up guys.” A random man said as he stood in front of the door.

“Stop!” Clarke exclaimed as she climbed down the steps with you following behind her as she walks over to the strange man. “The air could be toxic.” She said sternly. “If the air is toxic, we’re all dead anyway.” He stated. “Bellamy?” A woman said softly as she went down the ladder and went over to him. “My God…look how big you are..” he said with emotions in his eyes. She immediately hugged him and then she suddenly pulled away from him to take another look at him. “What the hell are you wearing? A guards uniform?!” She said with a disgusted and shameful look. “I borrowed it to get on the drop ship. Someone has got to keep an eye on you.” He smiled at his sister and she hugged him again which made him laughed.

Me and Clarke just stood there awkwardly with the other kids and waited for them to be done until Clarke noticed something. “Where’s your wristband?” Clarke asked the girl and she looked at her weirdly. “Do you mind? I haven’t seen my brother in a year.” She stated sassily and you rolled your eyes at her. A guy shouted “no one has a brother!” He said and another person shouted “that’s Octavia Blake! The girl they found hidden in the floor!” They said and Octavia glared at them and started after them until her brother got ahold of her. “Octavia! Octavia. No. Let’s give them something else to remember you by.” He reassured her. “Yeah? Like what.” She grumbled. “Like being the first person on the ground in one hundred years.” He smiled down at his sister and pulled down the lever that opened the metal door.

It revealed the most beautiful site you’ve ever seen. You and Clarke stood by each other and just stared everywhere in awe. Octavia slowly walked over to where the dirt was and planted her feet in the dirt. She threw her hands up in the air “WE ARE BACK BITCHES!” She screamed out and everyone started running out of the pod onto the ground. You and Clarke smiled at each other and jumped off the pod, landing on the grass. “It’s so beautiful out here!” You exclaimed and looked around. She laced her hands with yours and guided you through the forest to look around and find mount weather. She unrolled the map in her hands and looked at it with a confused look. “Why so serious princesses.” Finn said to the both of you. “It’s not like we died in a fiery explosion.” He said trying to light up the mood.

You gave him a stern look. “Try telling that to the two guys who tried to follow you out of their seats.” Clarke said unbothered as she kept trying to figure out the map. “Y’all don’t like being called princesses, do you princesses.” He said smirking at y’all as you glared at him while Clarke have him an unimpressed look. “Do you see that peak over there?” She asked him and he said yeah in response. “Mount weather. There’s a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal. They dropped us on the wrong damn mountain.” Clarke said angrily and you looked at her worriedly.

Y’all walked back to the pod as Finn ventured off somewhere as you stayed with Clarke of course. She was drawing on the map when someone interrupted her. “We got problems. The communications system is dead. I went to the roof and a dozen panels are missing. Heat fried the wires.” Wells explained to y’all and you sighed. “What the hell are we gonna do?” You said scared and Clarke reassured you. “All that matters right now is getting to mount weather. See? Look.” She pointed at the map. “This is us and this is where we need to go if we want to survive.” Clarke explained to the two of us. “Where’d you learn that from?” Wells asked your girlfriend and Clarke gave him a glare and he realized. “Oh…your father…” wells said sympathetically.

“Wells i think it’s best to leave us for a moment right now okay?” You told him and he nodded his head sadly as he walked away. Clarke sighed “thank you…it’s just so hard to be around him. I still can’t believe what he did to me…” she said getting choked up. “Hey hey baby…it’s okay I understand. It’s okay.” You said softly to her as you take her in your arms. She sighed and pulled away first giving you a small smile. “Thank you for understanding and being patient with me. I love you and we will get through this. Together.”

A/n: I have my own buy me a coffee page! You can give me a dollar and it will help. I also have some different commission types I will do so here’s my page to look into it :) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/naturesapphic holy shit this is 1,563 words lmao. Well I hope @pisces-bookshelf likes it and I hope everyone else does too! Sorry it took so long. Requests are open for yeehaw!wanda, country!wanda, and any other southern variants of Wanda or Natasha! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest!

[w1heda]

𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇. // twd verse.

while these verse details are subject to change with individual plotting, this write up serves as a general starting point, especially for those characters canon to the universe.

BRIEF INTRODUCTION:

born to abby & jake griffin, clarke griffin was set up for good things. her father, an important military man, and her mother working in the medical field-- it meant clarke was expected to somewhat follow in their footsteps. of course, then 2010 happened and the world went to shit, and all those plans were left to the wreck.

living in washington dc primarily, there was word of moving the family to atlanta in order to help with everything going on there. but in the end, they remained in dc-- protected by lifelong political friends (the jaha and kane families). however, it all quickly went to shit when clarke's father, jake, found out about operation cobalt. he and clarke both agreed it was wrong and an absolutely idiotic plan, set to fail. they made moves to try and get the word out, to ruin the plans. it resulted in jake being executed and clarke then on the run with her best friend, wells jaha.

QUICK STATS:

full name: clarke isabella griffin

nickname(s): clarkie, griff, princess, wanheda

age & dob: october 23rd 1984 // turning 26 the year of the outbreak beginning in 2010 // turning 38 years old by the end of the main show in 2022

profession before the outbreak: general surgeon

passions: clarke had always been a talented artist and, for a long while, she considered a career in this field. but in the end, she was swayed to following in her mothers footsteps into the medical field. clarke also loves reading and singing. painting is one of her favourite creative outlets.

gender/pronouns/sexuality/etc: cis-female, she/her, bisexual/romantic, open to polyamory but also happy with monogamy.

physical and/or mental disabilities: clarke sometimes suffers chronic pain from a car crash that happened in her youth and has a fair amount of scarring from the accident. she suffers from ptsd due to numerous traumatic events throughout her life.

weapon of choice: guns are the primary, but she always carries a specific knife on her. pretty good with a bow & arrow too. proficient in swordsmanship too.

family of note: with the death of her father, clarke's mother, abby, is her only remaining family. about a year into the outbreak/clarke's life on the run, she reunited with abby.

connections of note: the delinquents, the coalition/clans.

important people: bellamy blake, lexa, monty green, roan, madi.

FURTHER BIO:

after escaping and going on the run in august of 2010, clarke very quickly encountered a group of people around her age calling themselves the delinquents-- a group who had come together, mostly childhood friends, a bunch of misfits really. but they had heart. and more important, a safe space that they'd built for themselves deep in the woods. it's a good years or so that, alongside bellamy blake, clarke leads the group. they make it through the winter together with very few losses. in the back of her mind, clarke worries for her mother and the rest of the world. but she knows, realistically, there's nothing she can do. the world's fucked. the best she can do is keep her people safe.

which includes defending them from an attack from another group-- calling themselves the grounders. it gets messy-- clarke responsible for the deaths of 300 grounders in the fire attack she sets off to protect the delinquents. but in the end, she meets with the leader of the grounders-- their commander, lexa, and the two come to peace talks and, eventually, clarke's people are welcomed into what lexa refers to as the coalition. a group of people spread across the area that work together to survive.

the group face multiple threats from outside groups over time-- each are met with defeat and clarke, as time goes on, becomes harsher and harsher. making tough decisions to protect her people and be sure to keep what they have made.

sometime in early 2012, lexa is killed and clarke fully takes control of the coalition-- often referred to as wanheda, the commander of death. (obvlously when writing with a lexa, this will be altered!)

additionally, sometime during 2012, the coalition come across the saviors, swiftly then followed by the remaining groups. this is where things tend to open up for interactions with those characters. general trajectories will entirely depend on the characters being written with and come down to plotting as there is a chance for many different ways for clarke and the coalition to interact with the different groups.

[frecklesandfanfics]

I posted 1,786 times in 2022

That's 1,063 more posts than 2021!

626 posts created (35%)

1,160 posts reblogged (65%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@frecklesandfanfics

@totallyawsomelostgirl

@kateemcintyre

@badrituals

@jeanie205

I tagged 1,721 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#fanfic - 374 posts

#not the 100 - 352 posts

#bellarke - 309 posts

#stranger things - 205 posts

#bellamy blake - 178 posts

#clarke fucking griffin - 162 posts

#octavia blake - 107 posts

#the winchesters - 100 posts

#john murphy - 99 posts

#jackie writes! - 95 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#write your fix-it fics all day long but don't forget that some parts of canon belong there because they are fucking important pieces

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Clarke taking that knife from Bellamy’s slack hand and putting Atom out of his misery is the moment I realized I was watching a different sort of show. (And the moment Bellamy realized he was dealing with a different sort of girl.)

119 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#4

*deep breath*

This is gonna be a long one, folks. 

So, the stupid tiktok said that Nancy’s character was assassinated in Season 4 and thrown in the garbage. She is still the same character she was in Season 2. She only talked about men and her love triangle. She’s shallow and has no depth and feeling guilty about Barb doesn’t provide enough depth to her character. 

Sorry, I call bullshit. 

First of all, let’s look at the “love triangle.” It’s only a love triangle to the viewer, not to Nancy. Nancy doesn’t know that Jonathan doesn’t want to go to Emerson. She only realizes how much he’s been lying to her and pulling away when she sees him in the last five minutes of the entire fucking season. She does know that he’s been folding into himself--and we see him doing that with all his pot smoking--but she doesn’t know why and it seems that she thinks whatever is wrong, she can fix when they’re at college. It’s only when she sees him and he lies to her face. She’s not a stupid woman, his attitude is immediately shady and she clocks it. 

Here’s the thing: it’s not that I don’t think Nancy ever loved Jonathan, or vice versa. It’s only that their priorities and views on life are very different, and we see that first thing in Season 3, when Jonathan’s take on classism hits Nancy’s views on misogyny and they have that giant fight. They never address this argument again onscreen, which is crazy, because it’s a big one. But you know, from there they are saving the world again and then Jonathan moves to California and in their letters and phone calls Jonathan seems to be putting her off, telling her that he hasn’t gotten his acceptance letter yet. 

From there we go to something essential: Jonathan doesn’t know Nancy as well as he thinks he does. In what alternate universe would Nancy Fucking Wheeler give up her dream college for a boyfriend she hasn’t seen in a year? For a boyfriend she wouldn’t even have a chance of seeing til the next year? So many people have said that Steve doesn’t know Nancy because he mentions wanting 6 kids; he never said that she should be the one to stay home with those kids. He never said she needed to give up her dreams, that he expected her to give up her dreams, or that he wanted her to give up her dreams. And it actually makes more sense for Steve to want/expect to be the stay-at-home dad, he hasn’t been able to find his way after high school, he has no expectations of becoming a lawyer or anything of that sort. He’d easily suit the role of a dad in an apron, and he has always admired Nancy’s brains and pluck. No, all Steve ever did was include Nancy in his dream, and it’s the Nancy Jonathan doesn’t understand at all: Nancy who will pursue her own dreams without being weighed down by someone else’s expectations of her. 

To say that Nancy has had no growth in Seasons 3 and 4 is quite ridiculous: Season 4 is a take on horror, and Nancy is the Final Girl, the one who survives, the one who fights back, and she only inhabits this role with more comfort in every season. In S3 we see her as the intrepid newspaper gal, trying to balance her relationship with working and fighting back against the misogynistic journalists at the Hawkins (Gazette?) -- and she shows her intelligence when she knows when to run and when to fight. (And how to fight!) She yells back when Jonathan sides with her misogynistic bosses and thinks that her problems with them aren’t as real as his problems with money or being raised by a single mom or any related to class. (And here’s the thing about that fight: they were each right and wrong, but it was a dick move on Jonathan’s part to pull a whataboutism on Nancy when she was clearly having A Moment.)

The way Nancy goes after her story on the weird rats in Season 3 is such a testament to how much she’s grown to that point. She’s tenacious and doesn’t let anyone tell her it’s stupid or frivolous, not even her boyfriend. And where she has to be drunk to talk back to Steve in Season 2, she demolishes Jonathan in multiple conversations. She’s driven, intense, and purposeful, and we haven’t seen those colors on her before, though they’ve been slowly teased out over the first two seasons. 

Season 4 only builds on this. Nancy has traded the free time she spent with Jonathan for being the editor of the school newspaper, so dedicated (and perhaps grown so far apart from Jonathan, judge that for yourselves) that she refuses to leave town over Spring Break. She heads to a murder scene with little care for her own safety and talks to Eddie’s uncle with kindness, not assuming Eddie is the murderer, and gets the first tip about Creel--the one that leads to them finding out about Vecna’s weakness, music. In case you’ve forgotten, without Nancy being so focused and pursuing leads to the ends of the earth, Max would have died at Billy’s grave. 

Season 4 actually shows us, for the first time, Nancy in a platonic female friendship for more than one episode. Robin might be a little weird at first but she wins Nancy over; Nancy might be a little stuck up at first but she wins Robin over. The season also gives us Nancy actively worried about the younger teens, as well as considering their input and the ways they can help, and shows her leading both the older teens and the younger ones, and giving them a place to crash where they can all be together and safe. Even though Mike is in California, she gives them an excuse to stay in the Wheelers’ basement while they try to figure out the next step, and then they implement several plans...that Nancy comes up with. 

Nancy isn’t the de facto leader that Steve is in Seasons 2 and 3, just by virtue of being the oldest, she elects her own damn self as the leader, to the point that Robin points her out as being in charge when asked. It’s a long way from the shaking little girl she is in Season 1, and I’m sorry this has been so goddamn long, but it pisses me off to no end that just because she’s in a “love triangle” (that only the viewer has even figured out is happening, so far) people are saying she’s a flat character, a Mary Sue, whatever. Nancy Wheeler is a great fucking character no matter her love life, and don’t you forget it. 

Edit: I forgot to talk about Nancy’s guilt about Barb. Another time, perhaps. 

124 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#3

I maybe have already talked about this before but one of the reasons Caleb’s acting and the script writing make me sob hysterically every time I watch the scene where Vecna breaks Max’s bones is because of the way he screams for Erica. Erica--his little sister--the one he thinks he should protect, the one who annoys him, the one who sassed her way into The Party without an inch of self-doubt. 

He screams for his sister because he knows she’s there and who do you trust, who do you want, who does your soul cry out for when you are your most scared, your most heartbroken, when things are out of your control and you are clutching at air--

You want your family. You want your sister. Even the one who drives you nuts, even the one you didn’t want to come along in the first place. 

When the shit hits the fan--regardless of what shit and which fan--you want the familiarity of family and when Lucas thought or knew all was lost--

He called out for Erica. 

125 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#2

You know, I just saw a gifset that reminded me of Bellamy saying to Clarke in 3x5 “people die when you’re in charge” and then she says to him in 6x2, “people die when I’m in charge, that’s what you said, isn’t it?” 

And Lord if it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks that it’d been more than six years (we’ll leave out the cryosleep) since he said that to her, since he hurt her so deeply she looked like she’d been slapped, and she’d been stewing on that for six fucking years. Her last words to him were kindness and his to her were that he needed her to help him lead, but she couldn’t forget what he said that day in Arkadia.

I often think of the memories Clarke must have pulled around herself and shared with Madi when she was deeply lonely, when she missed her friends, her family. But I have never considered that within canon, she never forgot the way he verbally slapped her in the face when she turned to him for help. And maybe she knew, logically, when she was crying over that in the middle of the night, that he was only hurt or only frustrated, but--Six. Years. Spacekru had each other, to ruminate, to ponder, to discuss to death all of the things that hurt them and broke them, but Clarke had no one. She had to be brave and strong for Madi. There were no choices there for her. She only had her own feelings--and if you watch the scene you can see the way it nearly breaks her--to think about over and over. 

Six years, and she still feels it like it was yesterday when they’re under the red sun. My Lord, it’s enough to break your heart. 

And also! Even though she is FURIOUS with Bellamy in Season 5, she doesn’t bring this up. It takes her being fucked up by the red sun, her worst fears and mistakes roiling through her mind, for her to remind Bellamy of his words. Her mother is whispering to her that she is worthless, literally like a cancer, and she thinks of what he said to her, all that time ago. If Bellamy could say that to her--mightn’t it be true? 

This has been spiraling over Clarke Griffin hours, thank you for coming. 

130 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Today I can’t stop thinking about the actual insanity that was being a Bellarke fan during the live airing of Season 6. What a time to be alive. 

140 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[astroninaaa]

clarke griffin sucks here’s why

Hi! I’ve wanted to actually write some anti-Clarke discourse for a while now, specially because I’ve hated her since I first heard her talk to someone else in the show, but I was always hesitant because of blorkes and Clarke stans and all that. Well, I’m doing it anyway.

(DISCLAIMER: all this comes from her depiction in the show. I have no idea how book Clarke is, since I’ve never read the The 100 books. Now buckle up and enjoy my angry and not-that-thought-out rant.) (And I’m putting it under the cut because it is... a lot.)

I know many people started to dislike Clarke after season 3 or whatever, but I believe she has been problematic since the beginning. 

For starters, she put herself in a position of power during season 1, and that’s a fact. People say she “had no choice but to become a leader”, but that’s a lie. Just like Bellamy did, she made the decision to bear leadership: from the moment they arrived, she was already making orders and trying to boss people around. Was she wrong? No, she wasn’t! She wanted to keep herself and others alive, which is a good thing. But she didn’t have to. Btw, if she had never done anything things wouldn’t have change, to be honest, since they did not get to Mount Weather and built their little cute camp around the dropship. I mean, Jasper wouldn’t have been speared and they would have found out about the Grounders a bit later, but I think nothing much would’ve happened. Actually, maybe things with the Grounders would have been easier, considering I firmly believe the theory that the only reason they attacked Jasper in the first place was because he was all happy about finding Mount Weather, the place that had been kidnapping and killing Grounders for a long ass time. 

My point is: I believe Clarke wasn’t actually needed as a leader when they first came down to Earth. I think she was just a spoiled priviledged girl, just like Bellamy said she was, who could not get around to letting go of the power she held. There was no more priviledged and non-priviledged, so she secured her influence by becoming a leader. 

An important statement that people tend to forget: she was just as guilty as Bellamy was for Murphy’s hanging, if not more. She was always talking about justice and whatnot, but when she had the chance to be just, she wasn’t. A knife is not enough evidence to fucking accuse someone of murder — during 1918 and 1919, there was a serial murder going around called “The Axeman of New Orleans”, who used axes he found in people’s houses to kill them (I’m a fan of true crime sorry not sorry). If police went by Clarke’s logic, the dead would’ve been the murderers, which certainly does not make much sense. The least she could’ve done was talking to him separately, conducted a trial or whatever, anything but accusing Murphy of murder before the whole camp. She knew they hated him, and so did Bellamy, and that’s why Bellamy didn’t want her to tell everyone about Wells’ yet. And yes, sure, she was grieving, but grief is still not an excuse for what she did to Murphy, it isn’t. She might have tried to stop the hanging later or whatever, but it was still a direct consequence of her actions and would not have happened at all if she had stopped to think for even a moment. The truth is that Clarke does not comprehend that she can actually be wrong, a fact that repeats itself multiple times throughout the series.

(There are other times she fucks up during season 1, but Murphy’s hanging is what stands out the most to me, so I decided to leave it on that. But don’t worry, I have many other examples!)

I can’t even express how much she pissed me off during season 2. Yes, Mount Weather was a very suspicious place and she was right to be wary, but how could she leave her people and escape? She wanted to get help and all that, but she fucking knew they were bleeding out the Grounders and was definetely aware they would soon try something alike to the 48, and she still left them. She left them alone and clueless to the danger they were in, and she didn’t even know if the Ark had come down alright or if there were other survivors. Mount Weather was lying to them about not finding anyone but she couldn’t be sure of that — everyone could have been fucking dead and she would have left her “people” to die too.

I’m not even gonna talk about Lexa’s betrayal because that wasn’t actually her fault, I admit that. Was she stupid to trust a Grounder? Yes. Should she have considered the fact they tried to kill Raven the first opportunity they got (when Lexa’s cup was poisoned) and the fact that the Grounders did not trust them because of Finn and wrongly Raven? Obviously. Does that make Lexa’s betrayal her fault? No, but she should have seen it coming, tbh.

And, again, she put herself in a position of power where she wasn’t needed. There were actual adults ready to look for a better solution, but she didn’t let them. Of course she didn’t  — how could Princess Griffin let go of her power?

Letting Mount Weather drop the bomb on TonDC was... horrible. It was not the act of a leader and it was not the act of a good person. It was selfish, it was the act of someone who leaves their people to die with the excuse of “looking for help” without even knowing if there is help waiting for them at all. It would have revealed Bellamy’s position, yes, but Bellamy would have preferred that than letting people die like Clarke and Lexa did. THEY LET PEOPLE DIE. Hundreds of people! God, they didn’t save the Grounders and the Skaikru that had come for a DIPLOMATIC AND PACIFIC reunion, but Clarke really thought her deal with Lexa would mean something if a better deal appeared, right? Damn, that was naive.

And then she left her people again by the end of the season, of course. “I bear it so others don’t have to” my ass — Bellamy still went apeshit and Jasper still got depressed and no one actually saw her bearing it, so they bear it too. The only thing girlie did was leave behind responsibility and betray her friends so she didn’t have to face regret for her actions. Meanwhile, people needed her, since she had put herself in a position of power for so long that everyone actually looked up at her, for some unknown reason, since she mainly fucked things up.

I don’t remember season 3 that well, but I know that Bellamy’s rant to her when she came back and was trying to be his friend was absolutely reasonable and true. She fucked off into the woods, represented Skaikru in Polis without them knowing for a while, came back to Arkadia and tried to get some power again, but then no one cared about her. Bellamy was too busy making the wrong decisions because of his emotional pain and sorrow to actually give a shit and they had greater things to solve than filling Clarke’s need to be worshipped.

Also, the whole “blood must not have blood” shit? Funny, real funny. It’s just like Lexa pointed out: “blood must not have blood until it applies to your people”. She is SUCH a hypocrite it pains me. And she did not spare Emerson for “blood must not have blood”, she did it because she knew it would make him suffer more and that came back to bite her in the ass. Karma’s a bitch, I guess. And she tried to make Luna become Commander against her will, which I’m not gonna talk about, but was just really fucked up.

I think my hatred for Clarke peaked during season 4. First, she didn’t want to tell the Grounders the world was about to end again and was apparently okay with letting them burn, until Roan found out and got mad about it. She tried to become Commander, blatantly disrespecting Grounder culture just so she could boss all the people in the world around. “She wanted to help!” “She had no choice!” Yes, sure, she had no choice but lying to everyone and disrespecting a whole nation. She couldn’t, you know, talk about it. Okay. I mean, that’s how Clarke does things, right? Kill and deceive first, give a half-assed apology later. It has been working so far, there’s no reason for her to stop.

Forcing Luna to give them her bone marrow? Very problematic, but “Welcome to Mount Weather” was one of my favorite Raven quotes. Abby was also a fucking bitch for being alright with killing Emori but throwing a tantrum when Clarke finally came to her senses and decided to test Nightblood on herself instead of murdering people who went all the way there to help her, but that’s not what I’m focusing on.

Locking Murphy up while she attempted to kill Emori? Not good. Emori knew from the beginning she would be chosen for testing Nightblood — she is a Grounder, and Clarke’s disregard for Grounders has been made very clear before. (And no, having a Grounder girlfriend in a very unprofessional and non-diplomatic way does not excuse her from discriminating against Grounders.)

And then she took over the bunker, disrespecting Grounder culture once again by betraying the conclave and, well, many people. (I know Echo did it too, but I’m not talking about Echo right now so if someone brings this up I’m gonna riot.) I also think it’s funny how she was always talking about saving everyone and all that shit but was so fucking fast to leave Raven, Octavia, Monty, Harper and Kane to die. You know, the people who were supposed to be her friends and all that. Oh, well.

Then Octavia won. And she still did not open the bunker. Man, opening the bunker would save so many lives, including the life of her oh-so-called best friend’s sister, but she still didn’t do it. Classic Clarke God-complex: she decides who is worth saving, and the Grounders aren’t. Then there’s the whole thing with holding Bellamy at gunpoint and then using “but I didn’t shoot!” as an apology. Bitch, it isn’t about shooting, it is about the fact you looked your supposed best friend straight in the eyes and pointed a gun at him, threatening to kill him if he dared to try and save his sister and many others of certain death.

She sacrificed herself by the end of this season, great. I mean, yeah, that was nice of her. Congrats for doing a good thing for once, I guess, even though she knew she probably wouldn’t be able to get back in time anyway so the least she could do was making sure the others lived. I wish she had actually died then, it would’ve been a great end to her arc (finally saving her friends at the cost of her life after betraying them and leaving them to die repeatedly — damn, I might had even started to like her a bit after that) and I would be able to stand the worshipping of her done at the start of season 5, since she would be, yk, dead. Sadly, that did not happen.

She was a villain during season 5 just like Octavia and I wish she had been depicted that way. She wanted to kill Blodreina (because just overthrowing her wouldn’t do) but she wasn’t okay with letting Madi take the chip. I know these are different things, but see it like that: killing Octavia was a way of taking control of Wonkru at the expense of a life. Madi becoming Commander was a way to take control of Wonkru at the expense of Madi’s childhood. Are any of them good? Not really, but Commander Madi does not envolve killing someone and even has a nice ring to it. Besides, Madi had given consent to taking the chip.

(Another point: Octavia was actually thrown into a position of power, just like everyone claims Clarke was. Octavia was the conclave’s champion and was expected and even obligated to lead, while Clarke simply decided she was more competent than the others and became a self-proclaimed leader. After that, she whined for all seasons about how she didn’t want leadership. Octavia never did that, despite being the one who became a leader unwillingly. Just like Raven put, Octavia and Clarke are the same, but Octavia doesn’t pretend to feel bad for empathy points. Damn, I love Raven.)

She left Bellamy to die in the fighting pit, because now Madi is the one she cares about so fuck everyone else. She gave over Raven and Shaw and let them be tortured for nothing. She betrayed literally everyone and was the one to put McCreary in a position strong enough he had the power to literally destroy Earth. Clarke Griffin was directly responsible for Earth’s end.

And then she said “sorry, I had no choice” and most characters fucking forgave her. I hate the way this series throws Clarke’s half-assed apologies onto us and expect us to accept them. I think it is very annoying, since Clarke would be an awesome villain, but they insist in making her one of the good guys, even with the whole “there’s no good guys” theme, which I wholeheartedly believe to be just a way to justify why Clarke needs to be forgiven again and again and again. It is not much more than bad writing, to be honest.

During season 6 she again becomes a leader without being prompted to. I loved Josephine and I think that the fact Clarke wasn’t actually Clarke was the only reason I didn��t absolutely despised her like I have done for the previous seasons. Again, I would have loved it if she had actually died then. Imagine Josephine becoming a main character for season 7 too? Amazing, brilliant, showstopping, incredible.

And she is not even there for season 7, at least until “The Queen’s Gambit” lol. Guess they finally saw how much of an annoying character she is. The only thing I remember of her is the “I don’t believe in Karma” thing, which was... expected. I mean, someone who has done as much harm as she has can’t believe in Karma anyway or she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, and Clarke’s whole thing is about pretending to be sorry but not actually trying to change, so we can’t have that.

In conclusion, Clarke Griffin fucking sucks. She is a bad person and the way everyone always forgives every bad thing she does is bad writing. The series tries to sell her as one of the characters on the “good” side, but she actively works against it. She is not even a GOOD villain to watch, like Murphy was for many seasons. She is just an annoying character with a God complex who fucks things up, betrays her friends and lets people die again and again and then is forgiven because she is supposed to be an admirable main character. She is selfish and abusive and manipulative and power-hungry and fucking sucks, so please don’t stan her.

And that’s on that! Nice.

(DISCLAIMER PART 2: this blog DOES NOT support Eliza Taylor and Bob Morley, specially after Arryn Zech’s accusations. I know we cannot be sure of anything, but I prefer to side with a potential liar than with a potential abuser.)

[raccoonhearteyes]

Who's the jealous one and how would the other person react to realizing she's jealous?

They’re both insanely jealous, but Clarke ends up giving Lexa more reasons to be jealous than the other way around.

Lexa finds out Clarke shadowed a CIA agent for a few months and gets all huffy about it. She thought she was special, just to find out she’s has other muses!? Clarke has to reassure her that she is special and her character has much more depth than the CIA one anyway. That was a quick one month shadowing thing.

Lexa briefly dates a doctor and Clarke can’t help but call her Motorcycle Girl to which Lexa corrects her to Doctor Motorcycle Girl. Clarke doesn’t care that she’s a cardiologist, Doctor GF doesn’t know Lexa’s heart the same way she does.

One of Lexa’s high school friends is brought to the precinct as a person of interest in a case. He thinks Clarke is cute and asks her out. Lexa might arrest him during their date when she has even the smallest price of evidence that he might have been involved. The date accuses Lexa of being vindictive and jealous during his interrogation. “Lexa Woods, still the same as high school huh? Always want what you can’t have and what you want is little Griffin babies” Lexa kicks him hard under the table because Clarke is listening through the glass and just heard that. He ends up not being involved and Lexa has to sheepishly let him go. “Had I known she was your girl, I never would have put the moves on her” She is not my girl. “But you want her to be” No I don’t. yeah okay lexa. good denial tactic there.

For Lincoln and Octavia’s wedding, they’re each given a plus one and awkwardly tiptoe around trying to find out if the other is bringing someone. Clarke caves first and says that yes, she is and that he’s “Sweet and smart and sometimes he says things that just make my heart melt” and Lexa begins to stutter her own excuse for who her date is when Clarke finishes with, “It’s Aden” and the green monster in Lexa dies down as she realizes how sweet Clarke’s relationship with her little brother is. Cue the hearteyes as Clarke smirks at having riled her up for nothing.

Clarke’s a flirt. Lexa pretends to hate when it’s directed at her. She actually hates when it’s directed at anyone else.

Finn is briefly back in town and ruffles Lexa’s feathers just by existing. It’s just that he’s comfortable with Clarke and his hair rivals hers and she didn’t realize Clarke had ever had anything real until Finn slides his way back into her life and Clarke admits that she almost married him when they got out of college. When Clarke turns her down for a post-case burger in favor of reconnecting with Finn, she’s left with a desk full of paperwork and a confusing rock in her stomach about why that bothers her so much.

Sometimes Lexa dolls herself up a bit more to not look like a cop and get some of a victim’s unsavory friends and family to talk a little bit more easily. Toying with Clarke is one of her favorite past times. So that second of getting caught starting or the stutter in Clarke’s voice or steps when she sees Lexa like that only fuel her to do it more. Clarke enjoys the shorter dress or the extra unbuttoned button until she sees all of these smarmy men looking at Lexa with dirty looks and she can’t help but slip an arm around her and pretend they’re together. That blows Lexa’s ‘flirt information out of this asshole’ plan so Clarke sometimes catches an elbow or a stern what the fuck conversation afterwards.

In trying to hard to prove that they’re not into each other (are they trying to prove it to themselves or each other?), they end up being set up by Anya and Raven respectively. They accidentally go to the same restaurant at the same time and can’t stop stealing glances at the other table. They leave their dates to go bicker by the bathroom, accusing th other of following them.  Overhearing a conversation in the kitchen somehow leads to an accidental break in the case and their dates are left confused and alone as they go off to arrest someone. They later complain to each other about how their respective dates were uninteresting and dull.

After years of waiting, Clarke realizes Lexa’s never going to notice what’s right in front of her so she starts a series of flings with bimbos. When she rolls up to a crime scene with one in her car, Lexa looks like she’s going to be sick. Raven tries to light a fire under her ass, “Did you think she was going to wait for you forever?”

Lexa can see Clarke pulling away and tries to reel her back in. She’s still not ready to admit what they have. Thankfully, a case gives her the analogy she needs to let Clarke know she’s not too far off from being ready. Clarke stops seeing bimbos.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can I just say I love how like, into revisiting and analysing this dumb show’s scenes you still are — with the rise in popularity of streaming (I’m sure this has something to do with it, anyway) it’s become more and more commonplace for people to consume a piece of media, enjoy it, get bored of it after a while and never touch it again after moving on to the next new thing. It’s so wholesome and refreshing to see people still be so passionate and always find something new to talk about a show that, for all many of us care, ended 8 years ago. I do move in and out of being obsessed and disinterested with the media I’ve enjoyed, but in a world where I’m constantly seeing people say “oh you’re a fan of [X]? But that’s old :/“ (mostly about something that finished like last year lol) your blog is a breath of fresh air :)

Well thank you 🥹

The thing is, I get it. I get why and how people move on to different fandoms so quickly, and I don't really think poorly of that or anything. It's been almost a decade and it's easy to fall out of love with something after so long. Hell, when you think about it, this fandom has outlived the lifespan of a lot of entire relationships people have had 🥴. People find new things to get excited over and the *gasp* feeling of finding this new /thing/ is always fun. So I do get it.

But for me, it's just not that way. It's not that simple. Not because I think I'm somehow special (maybe a lil deranged 😬), but rather that's just how I operate. Before Clexa the only other ship I ever really cared about was Willara from Buffy which I watched when I was a goddamn teenager lol (RIP to my fellow gays always falling for girls who get shot ✊😔). I just don't get attached much to characters and ships. Usually ai like them in passing, enjoy watching them, and then that's... it. Tibette from the L Word. Wayhaught. Brittana. I like them and I follow them, but there's no real desire to delve deeper beneath the surface.

And then something like Clexa comes around and just absolutely fucks me up. It hits me and connects with me in a way that I just can't shake. Watching the show isn't enough. Thinking about it isn't enough. I have to discuss it and dissect it and fill in the gaps that we didn't see, and read and (now) create more stories for them just to understand everything about them to a deeper degree.

So few characters really elicit that kind of connection, but Clexa do. Even for a lot of the people who have moved on, at one time they felt that connection. Clexa was a fuckin madhouse for years and I think the fact that even still to this day people keep discovering and rediscovering them and falling in love with them all over again speaks volumes about just how wonderful that relationship and those characters actually were.

Especially Lexa.

Now, I love Clarke. I make it known that thiiiisss is a Clarke Griffin apologist's blog. That feral little kitten has never done anything wrong in her life. Ever. Including all of the terrible things she's done, as well as the many, many things that were flat out wrong. She is still innocent. She is only a baby. A murderous, tormented, compassionate, complex babygirl. So never get it twisted that I'm saying Clarke is somehow lesser than, but when push comes to shove when we're talking about baseline complexity, there is no character like Lexa. There's just not.

This woman was definition of doomed by the narrative. A child stolen away to be used as a glorified sacrificial lamb for her people. A toddler wielding a sword made of wood taller than her own tiny body, trained to accept her own life as expendable for the greatest good of her people before even learning her ABCs. She took the throne at 12 bby slaughtering her only companions and made her death mask out of kohl and fallen tears. Every person she ever loved as a mother, father, brother, either died for her, or by her own hand. The only two people she ever dared to be weak for were torn from her in the name of politics and the weight of her own bloodied crown. Under all the regalia she was just Lexa. Heda, always surrounded by her people and yet eternally just a lonely soul. Born here on Earth, raised to eventually die for others, left to rule over the people on the ground as best she knew how.

And yet through the pain, she was strong. So fucking strong it emboldened the warriors around her. She was brave, and lethal, and unyielding in her pursuit of peace. Meeting every push against her forward march to change head on, never flinching in her own brutality along the way. She knew that she was born for this; believed the black of her blood to be every bit as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Even when people doubted her and did their best to end her reign, Lexa always came out swinging.

She loved hard and kicked ass even harder, is what I'm saying. And the fact that they took a character like that and ended her so fucking carelessly? I just... I'm gonna be pissed off about that for a very long time. And until I'm no longer pissed off about that, I'll be here running mouth about it 🥴 probably still trying to make it better by writing her and the love of her life in as many stories as I can, so they can finally get the happy ending that was robbed of them in canon 🫡

[owl127]

Are you working on any clexa fics? I’m Clexa deprived😭

Ao3

Happy holidays!

--

The house was clean, white, and large. Lexa had to crane her neck to see the Christmas decorations hanging from the parapet. Over immaculate paint, silly little Santas danced now and then to music no one else could hear. Around them, a forest of leaves, an innumerable amount of wraths in the tri-color Christmas scheme, and lights as bright as the snow covering a tamed yard.

Lexa was the ugly duckling in that perfect home. Regret warmed her cold cheeks just as the door opened, and warm gold smiled at her.

“Lexa!” Clarke was not good at hiding what she felt, and in that lightly freckled face, Lexa saw exhilaration. It would be good to be as happy as Clarke could be with anything. “Merry Christmas!” Clarke was warm and smelled like cookies. There was a hint of fresh pine under her ear and Lexa allowed herself the small pleasure of Clarke’s skin. “Come on in!”

Lexa’s protest died in her throat, and she nodded. That was Clarke Griffin: no questions asked, and always so, so warm.

The house greeted Lexa with waves of cinnamon, coffee, and Mariah Carey. But besides Clarke’s blabbering of her batch of cookies, the house was empty. The large tree in the living room reigned supreme, but the gifts at its feet were unopened.

“Are you by yourself?”

Lexa regretted the question immediately at the way the excitement drained from Clarke’s face. Clarke took off her santa hat, messing with her curls. “Mom was called in for an emergency, and Dad is out of the country. Somewhere they don’t celebrate, I think.” She shrugged, and her new smile had a sheen of defeat. “Do you want to try my cookies?”

The house and smells could be different, but families were complicated for the both of them. Lexa nodded.

They ate cookies, carved through a flawless turkey (“Mom ordered it,” Clarke explained), and watched new and old Christmas movies on the largest TV Lexa had ever seen. There were no further questions , and Clarke gave Lexa clothes for a hot shower.

Clarke’s room was as immaculate as her house, with multiple closets and shelves lined with trinkets and trophies. Her bed was pristine, and everything smelled like fresh pine. Clarke wasn’t by her desk when Lexa exited the in suite bathroom, the vapors from her long shower following her into the room. 

The closet door opened and Clarke stepped inside, cheeks flushed and hands full of partially folded underwear.

“I forgot to give you one of these.” She showed her offering of Christmas-themed boxers.

Lexa chuckled and lay on Clarke’s enormous bed. “I’ll wash your joggers before returning them to you.” Clarke’s eyes did that dance when she tried to check Lexa out discreetly, and it only made it more obvious. It was cute, and Lexa swallowed at the rush of blood through her body. 

“Don’t worry about that,” Clarke said, and joined her on the bed. They didn’t touch. Whatever they were, they hadn’t talked about it yet. Friends? Teammates? Fuck buddies?

Another rush of blood.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke asked, breaking the silence.

“Us?” The word tickled the back of Lexa’s throat.

“I meant why you showed up at my place on Christmas morning, but if you’d rather talk about us…”

“My parents fight a lot,” Lexa said. “Anya isn’t home, and I needed a break.”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke touched her hand. Her palm was warm, and Lexa held it against her chest.

“I’m sorry your parents aren’t here,” Lexa said.

“They do that sometimes.” Clarke snuggled closer, their bodies touching. There was no hiding Lexa’s arousal, not without a boxer. Clarke touched her thigh, and the tent in Lexa’s pants twitched in encouragement. “Is this why you came?”

Lexa breathed hard through her nose, grasping at Clarke’s forearm. “Not really,” she said. “I was alone, and I wanted to see you.”

“I think that’s the sweetest thing you ever said to me.”

Lexa kissed the spot under Clarke’s ear that smelled like an inviting forest. “I’m not good with words,” Lexa confessed to soft skin. “Can I show you instead?”

Their kiss tasted like hot cocoa.

[lexa-griffins]

Quiet, shy Lexa uses Halloween as an excuse to finally come out of her shell and wear a slutty costume to a party where she meets Clarke

Lexa has been avoiding parties since freshman year of college. She finds no value to dancing drunk people grinding on each other as they try to get lucky. Not to mention the hallowen version of that, a thin excuse to wear as little as possible and have it be socially acceptable, all to have sex with someone you night not even recognize the next day.

And yet, here she is, standing at the doorstep of the biggest mixed frat on campus, wearing what might be the sluttiest woodland fairy costume she could have find.

Its her last year of college, fuck it!

She wanders for a good hour and, as she suspected, she absolutely hates it here. She has swatted about four hands away from her ass and has had one very friendly conversation with a girl suddenly turn into a near fingering ride she did not sign up for.

She's outside by the bushes, questioning if she should leave or not after she finishes her drink when someone sneaks up behind her.

"Not many bushes for the garden fairy to hang out by inside?" The voice is right by her hear and makes Lexa startle, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you there."

Lexa turns to face Clarke Griffin. Fratgirl extraordinaire, she is also a senior and president of the frat. They have barely spoken despite sharing many classes and being dorm neighbors for a whole year. Lexa finds her beyond hot, sparkling blue eyes and an easy smile. And right now she wears a firefighter costume with a simple black bikini top covering her chest, contrasting with the yellow baggy pants and helmet on her head. Despite the softness of her stomach Lexa has seen her at the gym and knows there is a hardness below it.

"Shouldn't you be inside entertaining guests." Lexa comments, motioning inside where the music is booming.

Loud cheering comes from inside as the vague image of someone being given a lapdance can be seen.

"They seem plenty entertainted to me." Clarke smiles, "you however do not. I dont think ive ever seen you at one of these."

Lexa shakes her head with a closed smile, "Not really my thing."

"And yet here you are. Looking really good if I may add." Her words slur just a bit and Lexa can tell she is a few drops past drunk.

"Thank you. You look..." Lexa tries to think of a word that isnt /sexy/ or /hot/, "very authentic too."

Clarke flashes her a bright smile at that and Lexa can feel her legs shake and her heart beating faster.

"Thanks! You're Lexa right?"

Lexa nods, her smile growing slightly bigger at the fact Clarke knows her name.

"Im Clarke." The girl introduces herself and Lexa has to hold back a chuckle. Who /doesn't/ know who Clarke is.

"I know who you are Clarke, everyone does."

Clarke seems almost bashful at this, bringing her hand to sctrach the back of her head, "eh, I mean you always seemed to not really care who i was so I thought id introduce myself."

Lexa's heart flutters again but she says nothing.

"So why did you decide to come this time?"

Lexa shrugs "its our last year of college and I thought I might as well pretend I had some fun. Even if I'd rather stay behind this bush all night than go back inside.

Clarke chuckles, a low and deep chuckle that makes Lexa feel something tingle between her legs.

They stare at each other for a minute, and Lexa is hyper aware of Clarke eyeing her costume - or lack the off - fully. She has to admit it looks great on her. The fake leaves that make up the bra give her a wonderful lift and the skirt in so short it could classify as a belt. She made a point of adding some glitter to her skin that shines now underneath the low light of the patio.

"That costume looks so fucking good on you." Clarke comments once more, eyes hodded as she stares at Lexa's body.

"Youre drunk." Lexa states although she cant deny how Clarke's stare is affecting her.

"So are you. Your words are more loose, youre ususally so uptight when you talk."

Lexa stares down at her cup, already empty. Maybe she has had one too many.

When she looks back up, Clarke is right in front of her, her chest touching her. Lexa closes her legs firmly, feeling herself growing wetter. She shouldnt.

"You're so hot. The beautiful kind of hot."

Suddenly Lexa feels something poke her. Looking down, she can see Clarke's pants have become a tent

"Clarke...."

She can feels Clarke's breath on her face, her hand on her hip. Their lips inches away.

"Tell me to stop and I will." Clarke whispers.

Lexa closes the gap.

She feels so fucking free right now.

She throws her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer to her. Almost immediately Clarke's hands find her ass, using it as leverage to hold Lexa up into her arms.

"Fuck, I knew you were strong." Lexa moans as she wraps her legs around Clarke's waist.

Clarke chuckles, cocky, before slamming their lips together once more.

"Wanna see strong?" Clarke asks with a smirk and Lexa nods rapidly. Quickly the shorts she wore below her skirt are gone, her wet cunt bare to the autumn air. The sound of clothings hitting the floor follow it and she feels Clarke's hard cock against her.

"Take a deep breath my little fairy, im gonna make you soar."

The colors of the lights coming from inside the house all blur into one as Clarke slams her dick inside of Lexa repeatedly, the shorter girl somehow able to move her hips upwards and she moves Lexa up and down on her dick.

Its sloppy and fast but the thrill of being sressed up and being a bush while a party happens so close by is enough excitment to leave Lexa close to the edge rather fast.

"Ah, Clarke, im gonna cum!" Lexa moans in Clarke's ear, probably louder than she should have, but the loud music muffles her moans.

"Fuck, me too baby, im so close."

With one last thrust Clarke buries herself inside of Lexa fully, cumming hard inside. Lexa locks her legs with as much strength as she can manage around Clarke's waist, bringing them impossible close and sending Lexa over the edge.

"Clarke? You're here?!" The sudden voice alerts the two girls someone is close. Without much time to react, Lexa hops off Clarke in search of her shorts. She slides them on, realizing just as they are in place she is still filled with Clarke's cum. Shit.

"Oh, there you are." It's Octavia, one of Clarke's frat friends, "who's this?"

Lexa looks up to see Clarke fully dressed as if nothing had happened while Lexa shifts on her feet, feeling Clarke's cum drip on to her shorts. Fuck.

"Oh this is Lexa, we have a few classes together." Clarke says casually, "She was about to head out so I was just saying bye to her."

Lexa nods at Clarke's excuse, glad she's giving her an outing given her... state.

"Yeah, sorry. These just arent really my thing." Lexa apologizes, voice somehow steady.

After some quick goodbyes, Clarke accompanies Lexa to the front. As Lexa gives her a polite goodbye, Clarke grabs her hand, forcing Lexa to turn around. They are once again face to face.

With a roll of eyes and a smile, Lexa closes the gap between them again.

"Dont be stranger." Clarke whispers as they pull away, a hand finding Lexa's core from behind and pressing on it, feeling the wetness she created gather between her legs.

Lexa moans softly before pulling away with a shy smile.

"I'll see you Clarke."

She still doesnt like frat parties. But oh doesnt she looove that frat girl.

[audi0med1c]

Chapter 1 of my new Modern AU idea I got from making a silly tik tok....this is a very angsty exes-to-lovers Modern Clexa AU...just a couple of stubborn idiots who can't get over their pride and ego's set to a backdrop of Taylor Swift references.

2,372 words

It's on both archive and wattpad, if you prefer to read it there

---------------------------------------------------

The absolute last thing Clarke wanted to see tonight on her rare chance to dine out was Lexa fucking Woods.

Lexa Woods, in her signature dark grey Armani suit.

On a date.

Before she could successfully grab her best friend's arm to duck out and choose another restaurant, those green eyes flick over and meet hers, as if she had been waiting on her to arrive.

"Shit you gotta be fucking kidding me." She hisses, earning a concerned look from the dark-haired girl just in front of her.

"What?" The girl says, looking Clarke up and down for something wrong.

"She's fucking HERE."

"Who is?" The girl says, turning to scan the dining room.

Clarke grabs her arm to stop her from turning, "No don't look don't-" but winces when it's clearly too late. Both of their eyes meet those green ones still locked onto them.

Lexa is holding a glass of red wine, and raises it slightly in their direction, shooting them her signature grin that Clarke would love to walk over and smack right off her annoyingly beautiful face.

"We can go somewhere else, Clarke, come on."

A flash goes off outside, as the first of what will eventually be many paparazzi snaps a picture through the restaurant's front window.

"No," Clarke says, "I'm not giving her that satisfaction."

They wait to be seated, and as the waitress is pouring their first glasses of wine the third member of their party arrives, fashionably late as always.

"Um since when do they seat VIPs off in the corner? Wasn't the reservation under Clarke Griffin? Your art is literally hanging in their lobby."

Clarke hates when Raven uses that term, as she never expects or cares about getting any sort of special treatment anywhere. Actually she'd prefer blending in and being invisible most of the time.  

"We aren't the only VIPs tonight." Clarke uses the term sarcastically, nodding her head in the direction over the girl's shoulder, "And I requested this table, so just sit Raven."

"Ohhhh damn what are the odds of that?" Raven chuckles, pulling out her seat and taking a long sip of wine, shooting a glance at the other girl with them.

"Octavia stop looking, Jesus." Clarke kicks the girl's shin under the table.

Clarke had asked for the table on the far side of the dining room, away from as much of the crowd as possible, and took the seat that kept Lexa mostly in her line of sight without having to turn her head and be obvious.

"She's still watching you." Octavia says, not even trying to hide looking over her shoulder at the pair behind them.

"Ugh ok maybe I can't fucking stay here." Clarke motions to their waitress.

Raven is typing on her phone under the table, which Octavia catches out of the corner of her eye.

Raven: You didn't think to tell me Lexa was coming here tonight???

The three dots hover in the bottom corner for what feels like forever.

Anya: How would I know that?!?! Wait who is she there with??

Raven: A blonde. A HOT blonde.

Anya: Oh god. Can't wait to hear about this when you get home.

Clarke catches Raven typing on her phone under the table, and then notices Lexa casually check her phone a few seconds later and shoot another grin in her direction.

"Really Rae?" Clarke says, annoyed, "Can you leave Anya out of this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." The girl says not even trying to hide her smile. 

The waitress, a bubbly young girl with short bouncy auburn curls looks nervous when she approaches.

"Yes Ms. Griffin, are you ready to order?" Clarke is always sure to be overly nice to waitstaff, or any staff when she is out in public. She honestly hates most of the things that come with being so easily recognizable, particularly the stereotype of celebrities being entitled, petulant, or conceited. It's not something she intentionally sought, or even thought was possible when she pursued art full-time after college and found her own moderate success. Any level of celebrity status could never go to her head, as she will always be the small-town girl from the East Coast town of Polis, who grew up with next to nothing and never quite felt like she belonged in a place like L.A. to begin with.

But dating one of Hollywood's hottest A-listers will certainly put you on people's radar.

Clarke leans in towards the waitress, "Actually, we will take the check for the wine, I completely forgot about a previous commitment I need to get to, but can I order a bottle of Dom Perignon, for the table right over there before we go?" She motions with her head towards the table where Lexa is now very obviously pretending to laugh at whatever the bimbo across from her is saying.

"Of course, will that be all for you tonight?"

"Actually, if I give you an extra hundred dollars, will you relay a message when you bring over the bottle? A toast of sorts."

The two girls across from her are trying to keep a straight face, but watch wide-eyed as Clarke whispers something into the waitresses' ear, and hands over her Amex card.

The girl's face when she straightens up is a mix of nervous and giddy, understanding the context of the request.

The history of the two patrons was no secret – it had been front page of the tabloids for months after their very public, very messy breakup. Now it was just the simple annoyance of whatever bullshit spin came out of their occasional run-ins or when they attended the same events.

"I'll be right back." Clarke says, pushing back from the table to stand. 

"Wait where are you going?" Octavia calls after her.

"Bathroom." She replies over her shoulder, heading towards the hallway on the far end of the dining hall. She made sure to keep her eyes straight ahead as she walked past the brunette and her date nonchalantly, but the familiar aroma of Dior perfume crawled up her nostrils and she hated how good it smelled.

It reminded her of silk sheets and long nights, her hands sliding over hips and thighs and feeling the hot breath of whispered sighs.

Don't you dare. She thought to herself, shaking the memories from her head. 

She stared at herself a good long while in the bathroom, both expecting and dreading the door to open. When it doesn't, she touches up her red lipstick, adjusts herself in her skin-tight black cocktail dress so her already exposed cleavage is just a tad more on display, and heads back out to the dining room.

Her friends are already at the hostess stand, waiting for her before heading out past the now moderate amount of paparazzi that must have heard her and Lexa were spotted in public at the same place for the first time in months.

A small grin tugs at her lips as she passes the brunette's table, noting the new bottle of vintage champagne that sits opened with two glasses poured but not being touched, and a now slightly miffed date that shoots up an embarrassed look when she notices Clarke passing by.

Clarke bends over far more than necessary as she signs the bill left on the table, tipping an additional $50 on top of the $100 she promised because the look on the young girl's face was honestly better than she could have hoped for and collects her Amex card and heads to join her friends at the front when she hears a muffled voice from behind apologize and excuse themselves as they stand up from their table.

The warning looks on her friends' faces tell her to expect the hand that tugs her backwards as she reaches the hostess stand, pulling her to the side at the front of the restaurant.

The velvety scent of Dior wafts into her nose again, and those green eyes are much closer to her than they need to be, but she doesn't step back. At least not yet.

"Really Clarke?" Comes the expected reprimand, "Here's to the search for something greater? Classy."

"She's practically my clone." Clarke shrugs sharply.

Lexa remains unamused.

"Hardly, she's missing your signature....what is it..." Lexa dramatically gestures with her hand, searching for the right word... "Soul-sucking abrasiveness."

"Fuck off, Lexa."

"There's that mouth." Grinned the brunette.

"Bet you miss this mouth." Clarke shoots back.

Lexa's grin widens, "Actually yeah, just had a dream about it the other night."

"You dream of my mouth before or after it called you a lying traitor?"

Lexa takes a slight step closer to the blonde, ignoring the camera flashes going off outside the front window.

"You've called me worse." She utters smugly.

"I said fuck off Lex."

"Or you could fuck me yourself."

Clarke tries not to show how caught off-guard she is by the quick retort, and especially tries to hide how flustered she suddenly is. She leans into her annoyance at the brazen overconfidence.

"Pretty sure it's the only way you'd be getting fucked tonight...I know a pillow princess when I see one, and THAT," she nods her head back in the direction of Lexa's table and abandoned date, who's now anxiously sipping on her wine, trying not to be obvious at her constant glances towards the pair at the front of the restaurant, "That right there is a girl who is here for the free dinner, the free drinks, and the free orgasms after and that's it."

"Make me a better offer then." Lexa smiles as she tries to step even closer, but Clarke pushes back with a hand up at the girl's shoulder that was now inches away from her.

"There is no offer. I'm surprised you haven't run out of blonde models by now anyway, so enjoy however many you have left before you have to slum it with some brunettes."

"Heyyyyy!!" Raven and Octavia chime from the door, pretending to be offended. Both had been inching closer, shamelessly eavesdropping.

"You never run out of blonde models in LA." Lexa shrugs, "But I don't even know her. I'm just doing my agent a favor, and she's who suggested coming here. What was I supposed to do say 'no actually this was my ex's favorite place and she might possibly be here on this one random Wednesday night?'"

"Sure why not?"

Lexa rolls her eyes, "Are we jealous Clarkey?"

"WE...aren't anything." Clarke snaps motioning between the two of them.

"Well WE..." Lexa gestures back towards her table, "Aren't anything either...so can you drop the hostility?"

Clarke muses over the girl at the table, "Blue eyes, that's enough for at least a few dates by your standards."

"You're practically insulting yourself at this point you know..." Lexa huffs amusingly. She was having way too much fun getting a rise out of Clarke. The blonde purses her lips, her eyes dropping down to the plush lips in front of her quickly but not quick enough, because Lexa catches it and takes her bottom lip between her teeth, dropping her own eyes to Clarke's lips for a prolonged moment before bringing them back up to meet blue eyes.

"Can I go now?" Clarke says annoyed, "Your date is waiting."

"She can stay waiting." Lexa breathes as she dares reach a hand around Clarke's lower back, but the blonde is quick to swat her away and step backwards.

"This is not happening...."

"Again." Lexa adds with a smirk.

Clarke rolls her eyes.

"This is not happening again." She corrects. The last time she showed up at Lexa's penthouse she had convinced herself was only out of convenience. It had been a while since she'd gotten laid and the thought of meaningless small talk with a stranger or worse, someone she'd have to face again at work or in some overlapping social circle was too much of a headache. So when she ran into Lexa at a nightclub nearby and got a simple text at bar close saying "Damn Griffin, I know you wore that dress tonight just so I could take it off you.  Door is unlocked."  She figured it technically wasn't much different than any other one-night stand.

Right?

But in this moment she regrets having fed into the already overinflated ego that is Lexa Woods: Actress, musician, and professional flirt.

She will deal with the heat between her thighs and knot forming in her lower stomach later. If not with whatever name responds first when she leaves here, then with one of her many battery-powered friends in her nightstand.

"Whatever you say, Clarke." The brunette finally scoffs nonchalantly, and with one final lick of her lips, Lexa gives one more intentional glance down at Clarke's mouth before turning to head back into the dining hall, making a show of her return to her table by reaching for the waiting girl's hand and placing a quick kiss on the back of it before taking her seat again and lifting her champagne glass to cheers.

"Damn Clarke I'm impressed... I would have folded." Raven admits, opening the door as they rush out to a waiting town car, flashes immediately going off as soon as they are outside.

"Clarke! Clarke!" A few of the photographers try to get her attention, but she puts a hand up to try and block her face as Octavia gets the car door open.

"Clarke! How do you feel about Lexa bringing a date to your guys' spot?"

"Clarke what did Lexa say to you before you left?"

"Do you enjoy getting paid to harass people?" Raven harps at the small crowd as she follows Clarke and Octavia into the back seat.

Once the door is closed and they pull away, Clarke sighs, rubbing the space between her eyebrows.

"Well if you want her, have at it." She says almost dejectedly. "I told you, it's over between us."

Raven and Octavia exchange a quick glance before Raven squeaks out a response, cocking her head inquisitively.

"I mean.... is it really over now?" 

[summersun4youforever]

✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

tagged by my fav @loulovehome thank you pu hope that this quells your curiosity! 

MUSIC

fav genre? not to be that person but i think i have a toe in most genres, i suppose my favorites have got to be anything taylor swift does, pop punk, r&b pop/new age r&b, and bluegrass

fav artist? again, not to be that person but i love so many artists! let’s do this based off of genre: taylor swift, 1D, 5sos, massive focus on ZAYN, the Avett brothers, and counting crows

fav song? fav song of all time (since i was young) is going to be come around by rhett miller but more currently i’d say you are in love by taylor swift and dRuNk by ZAYN

song currently stuck in your head? i have no idea how it got there but i have stressed out by 21 pilots stuck in my head??

5 fav lyrics? ok let’s do this kids. edit: this went in a “fav love song lyrics” way so sorry in advance.

1)  I hope that I don't sound to insane when I say / There is darkness all around us / I don't feel weak but I do need sometimes for her to protect me / And reconnect me to the beauty that I'm missin' (January Wedding - The Avett Brothers)

2)  Hands around my waist / You're counting up the hills across the sheets / And I'm a falling star / A glimmer lighting up these cotton streets / I admit I'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules / But I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (Disconnected - 5sos)

3)  This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good / And right and real (State of Grace - Taylor Swift) 

4)  What if I changed my mind / What if I said it's over / I been flying so long / Can't remember what it was like to be sober / What if I lost my lives? / What if I said "Game over"? / What if I forget my lies? / And I lose all my composure (Back to Life - ZAYN)

5)   I never said I was perfect / Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage / I know a few girls that can handle it / I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want / I never said that you wasn't attractive / Your style and that beard, ooh, don't get me distracted / I'm tryna be patient, and patience takes practice / The fact is I'm leaving, so just let me have this (Jerome - Lizzo)

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? murder mystery and young love!

fav writer? jane austen, lisa jewell, and rick riordan (nostalgia ok?!)

fav book? the way i used to be my amber smith, rebecca by daphane du maurier, and then she was gone OR watching you (both by Lisa Jewell)

fav book series? i guess the whole percy jackson situations? i have everything RR every wrote, and i liked it all but i havent touched the older ones in ages

comfort book? not one specifically but the nancy drew books

perfect book to read on a rainy day? bird summons by leila aboulela

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i hope i can name five...

1)  “The point is, life has to be endured, and lived. But how to live it is the problem.” “I am no traveller, you are my world.” (both are My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier)

2)  “And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” (The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith)

3)  "I cannot make speeches, Emma," he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.” (Emma by Jane Austen) (sorry for the length, the shortened versions were not cutting it for me)

4)  “Read, read, read. That's all I can say.” (The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene)

5)  “...amazing how boring you can get away with being when you’re pretty. No one seems to notice. When you’re pretty everyone just assumes you must have a great life. People are so short-sighted, sometimes. People are so stupid. I have a dark past and I have dark thoughts. I do dark things and I scare myself sometimes.” (Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell)

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary (im a very judgmental reader) | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? i like dramedies, mockumentaries, and procedurals 

fav movie? ive got a massive list on my phone but ill pick Doob (No Bed of Roses) and 3-Iron as my favs for today

comfort movie? 2000s romcoms, im talking clueless, 13 going on 30, how to loe a guy in ten days, ten things i hate abt you, legally blonde

movie you watch every year? mamma mia and all listed in prev question

fav tv show? too many, currently im rewatching arrested development

comfort tv show? new girl

most rewatched tv show? new girl

ultimate otp? shawn and jules from psych (ultimate bc ive been watching since diapers literally)

5 fav characters? winston bishop, stiles stilinski, bellamy blake, clarke griffin, lydia martin

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

super fun even though it took me an hour lmao, I'm tagging @technosoot @hometothecanyonmoon @sassylilnoodle @sushiniall @rosegold-thorns no pressure and sorry if youve already been tagged!

edit: i somehow managed to forget what i consider to be one of the greatest opening verses ever???? so bonus lyrics:

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog / Where no one notices the contrast of white on white / And in between the moon and you / The angels get a better view / Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right (Round Here - Counting Crows)

[100hearteyes]

Part 2 of Clarke And Lexa Make a Porno, because why the fuck not.

Part 1.

"No. Absolutely not."

Anya's wolfish grin is no good omen. Lexa feels a sense of dread wash over her and tries in vain to assuage her nerves by holding her friend's gaze. Anya wouldn't look this sure if she didn't have some card up her sleeve.

Lexa throws a furtive glance around, checks that her co-workers are still focused on the German porn telenovela. It's only when she's sure that the action on-screen will keep them rooted for a while that she turns back to Anya, trying but failing to meet her eyes.

She overcompensates with another glance around the room and a low hiss. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but am I not too," she licks her lips, gathering the courage, "'vanilla' to do it?"

Anya shrugs like it's a no-brainer; crosses her arms and props her booted feet on Lexa's desk. "That's exactly the point. You're a lesbian Disney princess. Pretty sure if you started singing the whole fucking fauna of Capitola would follow you around."

Lexa levels Anya with a glare and tries to push her feet off the desk, to no avail.

(Seriously, what's it worth being editor if she can't even have her subjects' respect? She wishes this job was less about the headaches and more about the self-indulgent moments of microscopic tyranny.)

The feet might not budge, but Anya will. Lexa is sure of it. She draws herself taller and tucks on her most authoritative scowl. "I won't do it."

Anya plucks an imaginary cigarette from her mouth and throws it away without a care in the world. She reaches behind her and drags forth a heavy wooden box, filled to the brim with—

"My vinyls."

Lexa is in a daze.

She thought she'd lost all her vinyls to time and moving. She mourned each one of them for at least a year, cried many a night away clutching her record player to dear life, lamenting their shared loss.

They had a real connection.

But it turns out her vinyls weren't lost after all, and her tears were for naught. They were safe all along, albeit in different hands, and she'd known nothing of it, like a mother who lets her children wander about without aim nor authority.

How can she ever have kids if she can't even take care of her prized vinyls?

Lexa feels a prick of self-righteous indignation at the betrayal and puffs out her chest. "Why do you have all my vinyls?"

"I think you mean all my vinyls," Anya corrects with a lazy flurry of one hand towards the box.

"You don't even own a record player."

"How the fuck would you know?"

Lexa raises an eyebrow at her friend. "I come over all the time?"

"I could hide it while you're there."

"And then you'd never find it again, because that's what happens every time you try to hide something from me."

Anya shrugs and watches as Lexa picks one of the vinyls and turns it over in her hands, reading the track list on the back with the reverence one would a millennium-old parchment. Then she looks up at Anya with a stern glare.

"Over half of these were stolen from my house."

Anya shrugs again with infuriating nonchalance and Lexa wishes she had a pencil nearby just so she could snap it in two with one hand. Or stab one of Anya's eyes with it.

"Maybe I just rescued them from the actual malefactor," drawls Anya.

"We both know the real culprit sits across from me and has been wearing the same socks for the past three weeks."

Nailed it.

When she looks at her friend, however, all she sees is that same old resting bitch face that never seems to go away.

"Wow, Lexa," Anya deadpans. "Now you've really hurt my feelings."

Sometimes, Lexa wonders if Anya really has a rock where her heart should be. A supernatural, blood-pumping rock, of course, but a rock nonetheless. Or, maybe, Anya is a psychopath. Maybe the blood money theory wasn't so far-fetched after all. That would explain the brazen lack of empathy for everyone else's feelings, most of all Lexa's. What does it say about Lexa that her one true friend is someone who sneezes literally every time Lexa says 'I love you'?

Not that Lexa says it a lot. Only once or twice every few years.

Just enough to have noticed the pattern.

"Are you really trying to blackmail me with vinyls?"

Anya fakes an affronted gasp, laying a hand on her heart. "Would I ever. Think of it as... an incentive."

Lexa really does love Anya, despite her friend's... unique demeanor. Anya helps her come out of her shell — by taking up all the space and forcing her out of her own metaphorical home — and every once in a while she likes to make sure Anya is aware of her gratitude. Sometimes, though, things get really fucking weird.

Lexa would still do anything for her best friend.

"Let's imagine, hypothetically - very hypothetically," she stresses, although Anya's burgeoning smirk tells Lexa she isn't so easily fooled, "that I agreed. What would happen next?"

Anya takes her feet off Lexa's desk and sits up straighter, perhaps aware of the importance of this moment. This, Lexa decides, will determine her answer.

"Well first, I'd have to get you a costar. Then we'd sign some legally binding shit, find a crew, and make the damn movie. Simple as that."

Anya leans forward, looking into her eyes. In Anya's, she sees honesty and a pressing need to reassure. It takes some of the pressure off her shoulders right away.

"Look, Lexa, you can say no. But your name won't be on anything related to the movie and I promise no one in this shitty town will ever find out you did this."

This is why Anya is Lexa's best friend. And it's why Lexa would do anything for her.

Even star in a porno.

"Okay."

Anya's inner smile must be really, really big, because Lexa knows how hard she tries to tamper its outward expression — and still her lips manage to lift into a grotesque grimace. Coming from Anya, it's the equivalent of a blissful grin.

"Okay?"

Lexa nods and closes her eyes, bracing herself for a bone-crushing hug. It never comes. When she opens her eyes, Anya's resting bitch face is back on.

"What, did you want a fucking hug?"

It's a blessing to have her rude friend back, Lexa guesses, because seeing Anya almost smile is fifty shades of unsettling. So she rolls her eyes and rolls with it.

Her next question demands her full focus, lest she makes an even bigger fool of herself than usual.

Lexa breathes in, makes sure all her co-workers are still otherwise entertained, breathes out. Smooths out a non-existent wrinkle in her pants, wets her lips for courage.

"Anyway," she treads with caution, "do you have someone in mind for the other main role?"

It's fitting that Harper McIntyre's hit song One More Betyreyal (one of her less inspired titles, if Lexa may say so) starts playing in that moment, for the look in Anya's eyes speaks of nothing but danger. Lexa wonders how much planning went into this conversation, so Anya could plan all her gut punches in advance.

"Clarke Griffin."

No. No. Anyone but her.

Clarke Griffin is the new recruit, although Lexa hardly understands how there can be someone new considering the station is broke and they’re already overstaffed — and none of them make nearly enough money for how much they laze around all day.

Clarke came from out of town with a fancy degree and was directly hired as an editor. She voices the early afternoon newscasts and Lexa curses the one-hour period during which she's forced to cohabitate with Clarke every day.

Apparently, Clarke had taken a liking to unnerving her, be it by smirking at her every time she catches Lexa staring or by making all sorts of inappropriate comments — to her ear. Lexa hates how much it affects her, but how can she possibly focus on reporting about Lionel "Real Sight" Foster swallowing his own wooden eye or how Jasper Jordan rescued his own private parts from the jaws of two slats of an unassuming park bench if someone keeps doing everything in their power to distract her?

Lexa has a theory (an iron-clad theory, if she may say so herself), and it's that Clarke is trying to get her fired so she can take her shift. It's the best shift of the day. There is no other possible explanation.

"You know what, I take it back. Now you need to convince two people to star in your porno."

"Oh, there's no need." Anya waves her argument away with staggering nonchalance. "Clarke's already said yes."

Wait, what? "But you told me we'd need to get me a costar."

Anya shrugs and Lexa is now seriously considering revisiting her psychopath theory. "I lied."

"You conniving, lying b—"

"Careful," Anya cuts in with a raised eyebrow. "I am under protection of the Capitola Astrologers Union."

"Of which you are president, treasurer, and the only legal member," Lexa reminds her. "And I think any upstanding judge would love to know how exactly every other name on the list has joined said union posthumously."

"I am an astrologer, Lexa. I can communicate with the dead. It's in my job description."

"It scares me that you're not even aware you're describing an entirely different profession."

Lexa sits back, staring at the ceiling (and the chewing gum Murphy glued there a year ago — he could've been an Olympic jumper if he committed to work the way he does to being an asshole), trying to come to terms with a single, harrowing probability: she's going to star in a porno with Clarke Griffin.

"l don't understand why it has to be Clarke."

Anya leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees, expression serious and ready to talk shop. The last time Lexa saw her like this was— actually, Lexa doesn't think she's ever seen Anya like this.

"Look, I've done some market analysis and most girl on girl pairings are a blonde and a brunette." Anya raises both her hands and starts counting off fingers, "Brittana, Petramos, Holstein, Wayhaught, Supercorp, Joanarty, Choni, the inaptly named Shoni, Deanoru, Dana and Alice, Bette and Tina, Catradora, Villaneve, Clexa—"

"What's Clexa?"

"I don't know, some chicks from this fucking terrible CW show."

"Do you like it?"

"Do I like what?"

"Clexa."

"Dude, I don't even know their fucking names!" Anya exclaims, exasperated. As if she's the victim here. "The only Clexa I ship is you and Blondie. Naked. On my porno. Clarke and Lexa. Clexa. Havin' very hot sexa."

"Smart," Lexa deadpans.

"I know."

"Why can't it be Niylah? She's blonde, too."

Anya's smirk is five hundred shades of gross. "I know you'd love to get up close and personal with Niylah's knick-knacks, but no."

Lexa decides to let the comment fly for the sake of her own sanity.

"Why Clarke, though?"

"Because you two have chemistry, you fucking dimwit."

Lexa snorts. Chemistry. Lexa has never heard of something so absurd. She and Clarke have as much chemistry as Harper McIntyre and any semblance of originality.

Which is to say, none at all.

"She makes very inappropriate comments," she argues instead, knowing full well that pressing on the topic of chemistry will only open way for some trademark crass joke from Anya.

"Yeah," her friend agrees, like it's obvious. "Because she knows you love them."

She most certainly does not.

"I most certainly do not."

"You do. Your freakishly tiny ears go red whenever she flirts with you. Your step falters when she makes one of those comments, for fuck's sake," Anya observes, pointing in Lexa's general direction, before leaving forward and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you, my friend, are a walking lesbian cliché."

Lexa takes Anya's hand off her shoulder. "Can you please stop insulting my tragically conspicuous homosexuality?"

"Oh please," Anya scoffs. "I'm bisexual, I can say whatever I want."

"If my step actually faltered - which they don't - it would be because her comments are annoying, off-putting, unprofessional, inopportune, and... and inappropriate", she finishes lamely.

"And you fucking love them."

"I don't."

Anya leans back on her chair with an evil smirk, propping her feet on the table and crossing them at the ankles. Lexa tries to push them off to no avail.

"Legalities aside, it's very simple. Clarke has already said yes. I just recorded you saying yes."

Lexa sputters, "You what--"

"You're both legally bound now." Anya shrugs. "Look at it this way: it will be very educational. You'll finally learn how to make a girl come, and get paid for it. Sort of."

A beat of silence.

"Anya, are you aware that you say something at least vaguely criminal every five sentences? Something that could actually put you in prison?"

Anya clicks her tongue, sinking farther into her chair, and lowers her sunglasses to her eyes.

"I've got friends everywhere, Lex. Let's just say I've dipped more than my fingers in my fair share of pies, if you catch my drift." A second later, she lowers her sunglasses just enough to reveal her eyes. "That means my tongue. My tongue's been in a lot of pies, too."

Lexa doesn't doubt that for a second.

"What I need to know is," Anya adds, taking off her sunglasses and throwing them across the room, "will you dip your fingers in the porn pie?"

Like this conversation hasn't caused enough trauma for thirty lifetimes.

"If I say no, will you still give me back my vinyls?"

"Absolutely fucking not."

Lexa swallows, clenches her jaw, and thinks of all those lonely nights spent in the couch clutching her record player and sharing cookie dough ice cream with it, longing for long-gone times when she'd dance to the mellow voices of the likes Billy Ocean and Ella Fitzgerald.

"My answer is yes."