#means girls is for the gays so suck it
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The Gays™️ after seeing the teaser:
Finally. This is the Regina we’ve always dreamed of. This movie will change lives. 😆🥹
The Straights™️ after seeing the teaser:
*triggered* Ugh who made this. That’s not my Regina, she would never wear combat boots. 😰🤢
#means girls is for the gays so suck it#mean girls#mean girls musical#mean girls movie#renee rapp#mean girls 2024#mean girls the musical 2024#mean girls the musical#lesbian movie#lesbian film#queer movie#queer film#lgbtq movies#lgbtq films#wlw movie#queer culture#gay culture
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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idk since i made that post earlier i've just been thinking about all the ways adults were weird and shitty to me because i was gender-nonconforming as a kid. because i MIGHT grow up to be a lesbian or, worse, transgender. and how much it sucked to figure out my identity under those conditions -- where every adult i'd ever met had already figured out What I Was and hated me for it, and i had no idea. idk it's just sad. i'm sorry baby izzy went through that.
#like. i identified as a 'tomboy' until i was. fuckin. 14.#i had no clue i was gay or trans. i just knew people didn't like me because i wasn't Being A Girl The Right Way.#so when i started to realize i was actually gay and trans. it was doubly humiliating.#like. hey! yall were right! you got me! are you happy now! do you want a medal!#i mean. other kids were also weird and shitty to me for being gnc. but they didn't know any better.#there were so many full-grown adults though. who hated my fucking guts for it. especially friends' parents oh my god.#i had. MULTIPLE friends in elementary school whose parents deliberately sabotaged our friendship because they thought i was a bad influence#and i can promise you it wasn't because of anything i actually did wrong. i was a stellar student and extremely polite and well-behaved.#idk just sucks! just. sad.#i hope it's a little better for gnc kids now.#i'm sure it depends a lot on environment and specific families and their belief systems but. yeah. sighs.#izzy.txt
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i hv decided with my shut show that is my love life my new year’s resolution is to be not single and a fuck ton more gay
#tw swearing#you don’t suck*#im gay#help im gay#helpless pining#gay#bi pride#biromantic#new year#new years resolution#i’m single#shit love life#so i was talking to this girl and legit listened to k pop for her but then got ghost and moved on and my friend is even setting me up with#one of her friends but then like my other friend who connected me and the k pop girl said that she said she didn’t mean to acc ghost me and#like wow that’s that’s gay help#but she also likes this guy so idek#advice is very much welcomed
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watched season 2 ep2-4 i need to talk abt it so spoilers in the tags of this post lol [and i will just keep adding stuff btw]
#total drama spoilers#total drama#WTQTETTEJFIENGQHSKFQGUS#saw a s2 bingo somehwere that said rajbow angst and i was like i would kill myself#so i am infact going to kill myself#PLS PLOSSSSSS PLSSSS#sigh okay#zee is my bbg my pookie OFC#RIPAXELLLL????? HELLOOOOOO????????????#for those that dont know my interest in td ships#basically if it is the worst m/f ship ever and sucks there is a 80% chance ill like it#ill have to see how its portrayed in the next eps but for now...#if ripaxel has 0 fans im dead#m/f ship that is worst guy ever and girl that wants him dead#like i cant resist sorry#MILLIE AND EMMA GONE ALSO kmssssssss#my babys my girls my bookies...#if axel isnt gonna b gay and millie is GONZO#MKULIA LESBIANS WILL BE REAL IN 3... 2...#emma gone means no zemma who up killing themselves rn#GDHGGTRRGRRR#NO EMMA MEANS NO EMMA BOWIE FRIENDSHIP AGAIN GOODNIGHT FOREVER#I HATE THIS SHOW#GOODBYE FOREVEER IM DYING IM DEAD RIGHT NOW
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I know several people who like LOVE seasons 5-7 (11th doctors run) and think the storylines and moffats writing are brilliant and I don't get it!!! what am I missing??? why does literally every single episode have the exact same stakes: Rory/Amy/the doctor is dead. forever. so dead. but wait!!! what if they aren't!!! why do so many of the explanations for why they're not actually dead feel so rushed like they were added at the last minute!! why does every single queer character act kind of weird and awkward about being queer!! why does the doctor casually say that women are inferior when no one's around!!! what the fuck!! hello!!!
#why is rory continuously proving himself as the Only Man To Ever Exist only for the characters/narrative to continuously imply hes lesser#amy tries to kiss the doctor?? at her wedding??????#when amy is stuck for 36 years why is she like i forgot how much rory loved me?? GIRL HE WAITED 1000 YEARS FOR YOU???? WHAT????#he is CONSTANTLY the butt of the joke despite being unequivocally without a doubt the best character from this era#what the fuck was up with river being their kid#THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY???? WHAT?? THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD RIGHT???#does anyone else find it annoying that moffat changed the opening theme and the tardis and the sonic and the doctor ALLLL at once#and then retconned the entire storyline the early seasons are based off of??#WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO GODDAMN ANNOYING?? LIKE SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE OTHERS#and fucking sexist!!! so sexist!!!#anyone remember the characters who were like 'were the short fat and tall skinny gay men why do we need names' LIKE HUH???????#gay people still have names steven 😭#i feel like im going insane bc i have no one else to talk to abt it until my partner catches up#but you guys still think these seasons kinda suck right? like coming off of martha and DONNA and her AMAZING storyline#these just kinda pale in comparison right??????#the last centurion is probably the last really good plot of that era imo. none of the other plots come close to having an ending that cool#like rivers story couldve been amazing and then it was just uh. kinda weird. a bit confusing IDK#i dont want to be a dick when talking to people and like shit on smth they love but i genuinely have a hard time#finding kind things to say abt a lot of this era#also and this might just be me but i do not like amy and clara v much 😭 theyre so fuckin mean and not even funny#why were martha donna and rose sooooo well written and they all have rich backstories. we know their fuckin families!!#literally its never even fully explained what the fuck happened to amys parents 😩😩 they just move on. the only friend of theirs#ever shown is fucking river??? as a kid??#am i the only one who found all thay confusing
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rewatching some lost season 1. white rabbit specifically. what was ian somerhalder's job on this show... just be useless and gay and then die? if so well done but damn that's it? i know it's kind of insane that he's been dead for so long and i'm still obsessed with him like i know this makes me sound like a man fan especially since i definitely talk about him way more than ana lucia and shannon. i know that. i read these posts too ok. but it's not my fault his gay ass is always at the scene of the crime ok i put this episode on for jack so i could talk about jack my best buddy jack. and then who's dumbass had to be saved from drowning 2 minutes in? yeah. anyway jack lost one of the tv characters of all time.... guy who cannottttt give up or let go or move on everrrrrrrr it will kill him. <3
#i think jack should have taken one for the team for real and fucked boone before the old man got his hands on him#and i mean that. listen boone was gonna do all that with someone and frankly it's not his fault locke is the most cult leader esque...#jack or sawyer should have seen the signs and gotten to him first. could've saved a life!#well maybe not. imagine if boone had been sawyer's gay sidekick instead. ugh...#imagine if he'd been jack's. looking better unfortunately jack thinks he's the most annoying guy in the universe so#damn he really did only have one option huh#also. changing the subject back to why i'm still talking about boone so much#i think it does mean something that he was the first real character to die. like he marks an insane tonal shift with that#in a way that unfortunately ana lucia doesn't. despite me liking her wayyyy more actually#dead lost characters ranked: 1) ana lucia 2) shannon 3) boone 4) libby..... sorry for being an ana lucia girl i know she sucks and was a co#a real Woman Who Sucks Enjoyer like me would never get hung up on such things though <3#lostposting
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Yall don't know how hard God was testing me today at work 😭😭
Bootleg FGM was trying to string up wire for the new sign holder line in basics and he was right by me right? He starts getting the wire twisted and in a sing song voice he goes "why are you not straight?! Whyyy are youuu not! Straight!? Why're you not straight?"
And it took EVERYTHING in me to not out myself for the joke 😭😭😭😭 I wanted to go "well for one, I'm bi." SO BAD AGSGDGGDGDGS I was just standing there folding shirts like 🤐🤐🤐
#marquilla#i wanted to make a 'i cant do anything straight im gay!' joke SO BAD too 😭😭😭#but if im gonna out myself at work it's sure as fuck not gonna be to management agdgdgdggdgd#not that i think theyd treat me different (i mean the one lady manager is openly bi and there's a flamboyant gay man in the cafe so it's not#like taboo) i just dont wanna out myself at a place where several coworkers are anti trans and some are homophobic#one is very bi-phobic bc i remember her bitching to RC ab this bi girl we used to work with and she said (mine you its not even 6am on a#weekday. unprovoked.) like 'does she wake up one day wanting to suck dick and the next wanting to eat coochie?!'#and im standing there thinking 'i mean maybe?? idk her preference and sometimes for me it fluxuates more like through periods of#preferring one gender over others/then swapping but also some days it's a 'why not both?' situation and SOMETIMES it's a#'why not both TOGETHER' situation man like does it matter??#i think what triggered it was the girl broke up with her girlfriend who shed been talking ab for weeks and had begun dating a man#who she then would not shut up ab. but also that coworker is suuuuper racist at least towards black WOMEN idr if she#acts that way around/with black men but a racist is a racist no matter who they pick and choose to hate#anyway i know a lot of coworkers are not lgbt friendly and i dont want to create any animosity/draw a target on my back at work#like if they find out they find out but i aint strutting my stuff yknow? like with family it's like id prefer you not know but if you know#you know so whatever#work talk
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in lmkverse, female macaque demons would probably think mac is hotter than swk because they’re attracted to red facial markings, the darker red and more widespread, the better lol
hi its 7 in the morning and this is so random it made me giggle so much because i immediately thought of some female demons trying to flirt with macaque and wukong being all >:O >:( about it. dude gets tunnel vision and can not see the fact that macaque is very obviously not interested in them
#🏮#shadow talks#i mean macs an attractive guy#so it only makes sense#sucks for the ladies though because mans gay as hell#idek what im saying i am so tired i should not be up this early#shadowpeach#i love protective wukong sm though#hed slide up and interrupt a conversation macs having and be like 'EXCUSE ME' really loudly and the girl macs talking to is like#'omg my king!' and wukongs over here nodding really fast like 'yes yes as your king i order you to stop talking to this man'#and when the girl asks why wukong gets all nervous cuz he does not want to admit he got jealous in front of mac#SORRY i put way too much in the tags sometimes idk if yall read these
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Bitch/Rachel Lindt from Worm! The author hates her for her butch doggirl swag
help me i love this description for a character. sick as hell
#i looked her up kind of obsessed with her#i'd read this series but the author seems to suck based on what he said about making his characters gay.#'ouuugh it's pandering!' shut the fuck up. your characters are girlkissers now.#anyway so true love her doggirl swag and i love when girls are just mean and nasty.#busks (butch asks)#dyke-terra
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oh so everyone is lying about the movie d.e.b.s. huh. Its not bad in a good way. its not camp. its just annoying.
#its like the craft. watching the gifs on tumblr you'd think the insane goth girl is the main character#only for the majority of the film to focus on some girl you've literally never noticed who disappears in the posters from lack of charisma#the two lesbians were BORING. i thought all 4 of them were equally gay#turns out only the bland one is. french cigarette smoking devon aoki is worth seeing but#she barely has any lines#spud the evil lesbian's straight male best friend is the most entertaining & likeable character in the movie after devon aoki which is an L#for all lesbians and this movie in particular#& the female straight best friend has the only iconic line in this movie#“everyone thinks you're a hero when you're actually a slut. a gay slut”#movie sucked im sorry#also those two lesbians were so insanely weird looking. this is what lipstick lesbian means#not femme (which devon aoki is actually serving effortlessly in this film) but straight looking in a really uncomfortable way#beauty rituals femmes don't engage in like powdered bronzer contour#& straightened layer haircuts. & those weird ugly 2000s tshirts#hyperfeminine in an oddly sexless way which is like the opposite of femme#hated it. i wanted to see devon aoki make out with a woman#& the old lady director. they shouldve been killing each other for that older woman pussy but no#turns out shes just the defacto homophobic villain. ugh.
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My mom would be the funniest&bitchiest succession blog on here if she understood what tumblr was (y’all thank your lucky stars she doesn’t)
#she says the most random shit and you know what? almost always hits the nail on the head#like 'i get shiv but she still sucks'#alright say that#'roman is just gay right?'#uhm honestly? slay#ironically she's a kendall girl not that she knows what that means#i'll watch season 4 german dub with her soon and it will hit so fucking hard lol#succession#succession season 4
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#my brother went to the wedding of a girl that was mean to me in high school#also at the wedding was the guy that was my best friend all through middle school until we fell out#largely due to the fact that he had a massive crush on me on and off that i didnt reciprocate and he made it weird and got bitter about it#and he became really good friends with the mean girl and her friends like he ditched our whole group for them#and it turns out he was really gay the whole time which in hindsight checks out having a crush on middle school me#was as close as you could get to liking a boy without having to admit you were attracted to boys#there were a lot of below the knee shorts and sports bras and large t shirts and unflattering super cuts hair cuts#but yeah that whole series of events probably did something to my brain chemistry#in the grand scheme of things shit happens it was middle school and early high school drama but god at the time it was devastating#and i shouldnt care i didnt think i did but at the same time#fucking ouch?!?!#my brother did say he asked how i was doing and he talked about how im a good skiier and im a nicu nurse and everyone seemed impressed#so theres that#but a small bitter part of me kinda wanted to hear that their lives sucked#and yeah no one wants to or deserves to be remembered as their 16 year old self theres every possibility that shes a really nice person now#she could have grown and changed#and yet#i kinda hope she steps in dog poop next time she leaves the house
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I just wanted to tell you that your post about families and wedding stuff was relatable and I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that. I can’t relate 100% since I am not getting married, but I’ve also never thought about it too much, since I have this fear that people who accept me now won’t accept me if I tell them I’m marrying a woman one day. I dunno, I think straight people are weird when it comes to weddings, like they didn’t think you were serious before that? Like it was a phase? (cont.)
#thank you 🥺🥺🥺🥺#i also never thought about getting married until somewhere along my relationship with ayesha lol#i mean gay marriage was legalized in the usa when i was almost done with college so like! never occurred to me that it could happen for me#i def never had any wedding fantasizes and did not see myself settling down#i was actually like - marriage is so fucking heteronormative i will DIE before getting married!!!#the government does not own my love!!!! fuck the wedding industry!!!! etc#and i think i still have some hangups about that and feel like a sellout EVEN THO i want to marry aish more than anything#just making that clear lol#i think that’s also why they’re annoying me so much more than usual bc again they know how important ayesha is to me#but it’s okay 🫂 i was feeling my feelings the other day when i posted that#and now i’m just like. honestly if i was marrying a man my family still sucks so much i don’t think it would make a difference lolol#but i do agree re: straight ppl show their true colors when gay people try to get married. for sure#the main reason i am getting annoyed and frustrated is bc i have had multiple people#rsvp and un-rsvp and rsvp again. and then tell me oh they don’t actually know if they can make it#like girl u gotta actually lemme know this is not a house party it is a wedding. LIKE. aaaaargh#i also know i will neeeeever fucking hear the end of it from my mother and i think that’s what i’m dreading the most#‘i do so much for xyz and showed up for xyz’s wedding and did xyz for my brother and now he won’t even be going to my daughter’s WEDDING??!’#like. she’s already started that nonsense. and idk how to make it even more clear that i do not even care about her stupid brother 💀#anyway thank you for being understanding and for being so nice to me :’) ILY
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put it all on red (bull) | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem russell reader
her brother won the race? does she know? does she care?
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: VIVA LAS VEGAS
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user3: this is fucking hilarious
user4: her whole ass brother won the actual race and there's not a peep of him on the post
user5: i mean her boyfriend did win the championship...
yourusername: exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i mean my instagram is for pretty girls only
user6: do not erase george's beauty
yourusername: nothing to erase girlypop - FUGLY!
user7: the way the guys are in the media pen and can't see that y/n is coming for their necks in instagram comments
user8: i fear she's already started drinking...
user9: in the back of the sky broadcast she hands max a drink and i'm starting to suspect that it was not water or red bull
user10: LMAO HELMUT TOOK A SIP AND LIKE NEARLY FELL OVER
yourusername: i've never claimed to be good at mixing drinks
maxverstappen1: WHERE WAS THE TONIC ???
yourusername: i don't believe in tonic 💔
maxverstappen1: YOU GAVE ME STRAIGHT GIN?
yourusername: straight 🤣
maxverstappen1: Y/N THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER ON HELMUT ???
yourusername: free me i did nothing wrong !!!
user11: these people kill me
user12: sign of a healthy relationship is making gay allegations about each other
yourusername: ALLEGATIONS ???
yourusername: george is lucky that he was the first russell carmen met ...
georgerussell63: RIGHT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
georgerussell63: thank you for the congratulations but STOP flirting with MY girlfriend
yourusername: congratulations??? for what?
georgerussell63: WINNING THE RACE?
yourusername: boring!
georgerussell63: you are so lucky we're family because you are a few cards short of a deck
yourusername: CARDS? that reminds me ... time to gamble!
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: winning without the fastest car isn't for everyone
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user13: this caption has y/n russell written all over it
yukitsunoda0511: i sat here and watched them giggle to themselves for a good five minutes while posting this
user14: tell max to post more pictures like the second one
yukitsunoda0511: they are not safe for innocent eyes and they are not taken with a locked door :/
user15: why are you there ???
yukitsunoda0511: they're very generous when they're drunk !
user16: so real
yukitsunoda0511: it's also not just me :(
user17: just how many people are using the bar tab?
liamlawson30: me!
oscarpiastri: me!
charles_leclerc: me!
landonorris: me!
pierregasly: me!
alexalbon: me!
yourusername: broke bitches
carlossainz55: you do not have a job?
yourusername: gambling and being pretty is more of a job that what you will have next season 🤨
carlossainz55: has anyone ever told you you're a really mean drunk
yourusername: just george about a billion times, you get used to it (we just don't invite you out)
user18: she is just dragging anyone now
user19: hold on that is her boyfriend's work boyfriend's enemy
user20: girl is 90% of lestappen twitter's source and you think she's not gonna have a problem with sainz???
yourusername: you're so sexy i actually can't even function
maxverstappen1: gotta put the trophy in trophy husband somehow
yourusername: jokes aside i am super duper proud of you, this year has been insane and you've proven that you are the bestest eva
maxverstappen1: couldn't have done it without my fave cheerleader
yourusername: i'll wear the uniform and everything ....
schecoperez: STOP
georgerussell63: still no congratulations? i know you won the title or whatever but we're going to be brothers soon SHOW SOME RESPECT
yourusername: literally suck his dick
yourusername: wait no
yourusername: suck my dick
yourusername: WAIT NO
yourusername: choke ❤️
georgerussell63: i have no words at this point
maxverstappen1: so romantic hehehehe
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yourusername: put it all on on red (bull)
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user22: ma'am why is there a cat?
user23: i think we already know the answer
user24: oh i know the answer i just wanna know the batshit explanation
georgerussell63: exsqueeze me ???
yourusername: don't speak like that about your nephew ??
georgerussell63: tell me you're not keeping it??
maxverstappen1: IT? HE JUST LEAPFROGGED YOU IN OUR WILL
georgerussell63: 1. you have a joint will ??? 2. why am i on it ??? 3. what is a cat doing with a monaco penthouse ???
maxverstappen1: i thought you could use the money ? i know toto ain't paying you what he promised me
yourusername: george your weird sugar daddy is more broke than you think sorry xx
georgerussell63: once again, what is stopping me taking the monaco house from a literal cat ?
yourusername: caesar will be very aware of his rights string bean - just because you talk in an uppity accent doesn't mean you actually know anything
georgerussell63: i cannot tell who corrupted who but i am sick of being your victim :(
user25: yes as fun as watching them dog george is i do want to know caesar's origin story
user26: i have a very bad feeling i know where he got his name
alexalbon: HE'S NOT NAMED AFTER THE CASINO IS HE?
yourusername: ding ding ding we have a winner, always knew you were the smarter half of galex
maxverstappen1: your gambling is getting out of hand
yourusername: did i or did i not win us a cat ?
maxverstappen1: AND £250,000 ???
yourusername: didn't want to promote gambling too much
yourusername: KIDS DO NOT GAMBLE IT IS DUMB
yourusername: look at me i literally have a child now ???
user27: we have lost the original plot of the movie
user28: you must be new, we stopped trying to make sense of these two years ago
lewishamilton: i can assure you it does not get any easier when you know them personally
yourusername: we aim to be sexy and mysterious
lewishamilton: that's strange because you guys dance like little boys and overshare at any given opportunity
maxverstappen1: guilty !
georgerussell63
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georgerussell63: i won the las vegas grand prix and all i got was this lousy cat
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user29: i am sensing a y/n and max meltdown incoming
user30: maybe they're too hungover to argue?
yourusername: NEVER
maxverstappen1: LOUSY CAT? FIRST OF ALL HE'S NOT YOURS SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND ALSO I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN
georgerussell63: excuse me?
yourusername: do NOT threaten my boyfriend !!!!!!!!
georgerussell63: do you have selective sight or something?
yourusername: no i just like him more than i like you
georgerussell63: you only met him because of me?
maxverstappen1: i have faith we would've found each other regardless we have a SOUL TIE
yourusername: EXACTLY
georgerussell63: i give up.
yourusername: this is exactly why you don't have a championship ... no drive (pun intended)
georgerussell63: NOW THAT'S IT
maxverstappen1: are you threatening my girlfriend?
georgerussell63: OMG LEAVE ME ALONE
user31: their commitment to never letting george have a day of peace is really quite charming
user32: they're going to give him grey hairs before he even turns 27
alexalbon: i gotta say georgie, i'm not with you on this one - caesar is THE dude
georgerussell63: are all my eggs falling out of the basket at once?
maxverstappen1: that's called karma for calling caesar 'it' and a lousy cat
georgerussell63: i can't lie i am missing your honeymoon phase you guys were a lot nicer
yourusername: we never left the honeymoon phase we just like annoying all of you
maxverstappen1: makes you people leave us alone :3
landonorris: you don't have to be mean to do that
yourusername: YOU JUST GOT OFF OF THIN ICE NORRIS WATCH YOUR STEP
user33: they can make excuses all these want but they just like annoying everyone else
user34: i mean based on their vegas shenanigans i think they would be super fun to be around
yourusername: oscar literally came to stay while he 'looked for a flat' in monaco and hasn't left... it's been three months. face it we're a HOOT
oscarpiastri: they are fun! the secret is to not be annoying sorry george!
maxverstappen1: they grow up so fast :')
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: took a gamble when i went for the lanky posh dude's sister and i can now say it was definitely worth it
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user37: bro says snug as a bug in a rug once and now he's labelled as posh HE'S FROM NORFOLK
user38: it's also the way that y/n never gets the posh allegations
georgerussell63: it's because she's scruffy as fuck x
maxverstappen1: literally outside your house with a knife, keep talking
georgerussell63: i'm a grown man, max, you don't scare me
maxverstappen1: so i'm free to do a little gardening while you hide inside?
georgerussell63: you wouldn't...
yourusername: GO FOR THE PEONIES MAX
georgerussell63: NOT THE PEONIES I BEG HAVE MERCY
user39: so i'm supposed to read all of this shit and take them seriously when they get in the car
user40: it's part of the charm i think
user41: it's all fun and games until you remember they are full grown adults who can vote who are arguing over flowers
yourusername: i'd go through the strenuous task of growing up with george thousands more times just to be with you
maxverstappen1: i've been in love with you since i was 14, there has never been anyone else for me and there will never be anyone else for me
yourusername: ugh why didn't we just get married in vegas ?
maxverstappen1: because even though i did just harm his flowers, i do want to marry you in front of our families
yourusername: i guess you're right
georgerussell63: you know what? based on how you usually talk to me... i'm touched
yourusername: if i'm feeling generous i'll even let you do the seating chart
georgerussell63: I LOVE YOU BEST SISTER EVER
user42: only a declaration of love between max and y/n could end with george proclaiming his love for charts
user43: how does one procure an invite to this wedding ...
yourusername: be cunty
yourusername: @zakbrownceo YOU'RE BARRED
yourusername
liked by landonorris, alexalbon and 409,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i'm the sibling who can't drive and yet i'm the one with four championship trophies in their house... george, step your pussy up x
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user44: omg queen who can't drive, she's such representation
yourusername: george says i'm so mean all the time but really i'm generous, i clearly gave him all the driving genes
user45: have you even tried driving?
yourusername: i went on max's sim once and got motion sickness and i'm also with the best driver in the world and siblings with an okay one - i'm surviving
alexalbon: he's already texted me about your language on this post
yourusername: just because he's a boomer in a string bean's body does not mean i must censor myself - he should know what stepping his pussy up means by now
georgerussell63: i will not be stepping on any pussy, i respect both felines and women
maxverstappen1: you called caesar 'it' so PLEASE
georgerussell63: i respect women?
maxverstappen1: you called y/n scruffy?
georgerussell63: that's y/n it doesn't count
maxverstappen1: that's not very feminist of you george. i am disappointed
yourusername: i agree, i really think the GDPA should reconsider the type of person they're letting run it
georgerussell63: huh?
yourusername: not once have i been invited to a grid meal ....
georgerussell63: well you're not on the grid that's why
yourusername: FEMALE EXCLUSION
maxverstappen1: you know we have attachment issues, you're so heartless george
georgerussell63: what is going on ???
yourusername: you CLEARLY don't care about me
maxverstappen1: and you CLEARLY don't care about the wellbeing of the grid
georgerussell63: I'M SORRY???
user46: george is unbelievably easy to rattle
user47: it must be so fun
yourusername: oh believe me, we have way too much fun
maxverstappen1: we once convinced him that it was a social faux pas to shake hands in japan lol
georgerussell63: IS THAT WHY MERCEDES WERE TOLD THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY RUDE ???
yourusername: LMAOOOOOOOO
maxverstappen1: so so so easy bro
user48: i guess a couple that plays mind tricks together, stay together?
yourusername: 4eva
maxverstappen1: til death do us part
yourusername: quite literally you're not leaving me alone with GEORGE
georgerussell63: you know what: DIE
yourusername: GASP
maxverstappen1: @fia get his ass
fin.
note: HAPPY MAX VERSTAPPEN CHAMPIONSHIP DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE. IE. ME LOL
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen
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FUCK YOU !! (AND, UH, FUCK HER TOO) — LOGAN HOWLETT + SCOTT SUMMERS
ft. scott summers x f!reader x logan howlett
a/n: deadpool and wolverine full throttled me back into my x-men era... rewatched the first two movies and binge wrote this over the course of three hours... it's pure, shameless smut with slightly gay undertones idk what to tell you... reader is basically in place of jean!!
cw: 18+ content, double penetration, almost cucking, cheating, reader is scott's girlfriend, logan is an asshole, competitive sex?? fighting, clawsTM, biting, marking, mild possessive behavior, p in v, mild scent kink, assholery all round tbh, creampies, threesome. gay crisis for a second x
word count: 2.3k words
Scott is starting to think Logan likes his things way too much. First, it was the way he looked at you when he was first brought to the school, eyes raking over your form. Scott wasn't blind – the visor didn't impair his vision that much. He remembers walking into the room when the both of you were alone. He could sense the tension between the two of you before his presence was even made known to you.
It wasn't until a while later he'd figured out Logan probably smelt him coming. Cocky bastard probably wanted to be caught.
Then, it was his motorcycle. His very own pride and joy. Returned with an empty tank, his keys tossed to him like it was nothing. His eyes narrowed imperceptibly behind his visor as he chucked the keys back to Logan. He barely managed to reign in his irritation.
“You gonna tell me to stay away from your girl?” Scott had told him to do so after that comment, despite having the faith in you that you'd be able to avoid Logan's charms. He was clearly wrong. Logan didn't seem like the type to have much respect, but this was just taking the piss.
“Been meaning to test if these beams could pulverise Adamantium.”
All he gets in reply is a shit eating grin from Logan as he pulls away from the heated kiss Scott had walked in on, his hands still gripping your waist. You really had the audacity to get all wide-eyes and shocked, like you weren't just about to fuck Logan with your ass perched on Scott's bike.
“Shit. Scott, I'm-”
“Sorry?” He cuts off, gaze very clearly still trained on Logan despite the way his shades conceal his line of vision. “Yeah. Save it.”
“Thought I could smell that shitty hair gel.” Logan huffs, bringing his head down to nip and suck at your neck, adding to the wide array of marks he's already left. And you fucking let him, tilting your head back and gasping like it's the best thing you've ever felt. Scott's gonna kill you, then Logan, then quite possibly himself. “How long’s it take you to get that done in the mornin’ anyway, pretty boy?”
“Right. Says the guy with kitty ears?” Scott bites back, taking a few steps towards the both of you. “I'm gonna give you about three seconds to get away from my girl and my bike before we see how good your healing factor really is.”
Logan fucking laughs, kissing his way up your neck and along your jaw so he can whisper into your ear, breath hot against your skin. “Stay put for me, yeah? Shouldn't take long, sweetheart.”
He pushes away from the bike, turning around to face Scott. Cocks his head to the side like a damn dog, rolling his shoulders as his claws shoot out from his knuckles. “Don't make me embarrass you in front of your girl, Cy-clops.”
Scott fucking hates that, hates the way he drags out his name as if it's stupider than Wolverine. Hates everything about Logan, if he's being honest. Hates how easily the man manages to get under his skin every single time.
“You're such a fucking asshole, y'know that?” Scott squares up, trying his best not to hurl a beam directly at Logan with the hopes he'd be able to send him flying through the garage wall. He's meant to be a team player. Level-headed. He's not sure how the older man always reduces him to this.
“That really hurts my feelings, bub. I thought we were a team.” Logan stalks closer, and Scott's vaguely aware you've gotten up, ready to break up a fight that never comes. Claws sink into the drywall beside his head at the same time he hears you tell Logan to ‘stop’. His back hits the wall, and then the asshole leans down, lips brushing his ear just like he had to yours moments prior.
“Y'know, I can smell the changes in your scent when you're pissed, happy... Can also smell it when you're turned on.” He breathes out, inhaling deeply just to tease the man further. “So either you're really into you're girl gettin’ passed around, or you wanna fuck me. Shit, or both. Which is it, pretty boy?”
“I don't want you to fuck my girl, Logan.” Scott grits put. His looks literally can kill, and he's becoming increasingly tempted to prove that to the other man. “And I definitely don't wanna fuck you.”
“C'mere, baby.” Logan coos, gaze flicking to you. He tuts when Scott goes to move, pressing his body against his to prevent him from getting too far. “Ah-ah. Stay there, pretty boy.”
You're at Logan’s side in a second, peering up at him through your lashes like an obedient dog waiting for its next command. Shit makes Scott's blood boil, his body going rigid against the other man's.
“D'you wanna kiss me, sweetheart?” He asks you, cocking his head to the side with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. And you fucking nod, like your boyfriend isn't right there staring at you. “D'you think he wants a kiss from me, too, sweetheart? Think he deserves it? Can't have been treatin’ you right if you came runnin’ to me, huh? Maybe I should teach him?”
“Yeah, think he needs it. He's always so stressed, never wants to do anything.” Now you're airing out your relationship issues? Fucking great. Scott's practically seething now, lips parting to say something – anything – to defend himself.
He doesn't get the chance before Logan's lips crash against his. He tenses up, ready for a fight. His hands come up to push the man away, but fuck he's a good kisser. It's a lot different from a girl – rougher. There's a drag of his stubble, a pleasant burn that comes from it. His teeth sink into Scott's lower lip before tugging, then he's forcing his tongue into his mouth. Scott ends up dragging him closer, eyes fluttering shut as he kisses back.
A growl rises in Scott's throat when he hears you giggle at his reaction, but he doesn't have much time to think on it, ‘cause Logan laughs all breathy and hot into his mouth, and it's making him short circuit. The growl quickly transforms into a low whine, his lips chasing after the other man when he starts to pull back.
His eyes open just in time to watch as Logan grabs you by your hair to pull you into a needy kiss, his free hand grasping at your hip to grind you against his rapidly hardening length. Scott feels his own cock twitching to life at the sight, a breathless ‘fuck’ leaving his lips as he reaches down to palm himself through his jeans. He hasn't been this hard in months – maybe ever. He feels like a horny teenager again, leaking pre-cum steadily into the fabric of his boxers. He isn't sure what to think of it. Humiliating, is what it is.
Logan's lips are on his again, his hands sliding under his shirt, tugging him closer. He feels his cock pressing against the hard ridges of Logan's muscles, feels your own hands join his in exploring Scott's skin, your lips pressing kisses along his neck and jaw.
“Relax, Scott.” You say, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. Relax, yeah. His dick is rubbing against another man's for the first time while his girlfriend is reaching around him to unbutton his jeans, and you want him to relax. This is a totally normal scenario that isn't throwing him head first into an identity crisis.
He gets lost in the hands on his body, the lips against his skin. Before he knows it, the three of you are naked and panting and pressed against each other. Scott feels like he can't breathe properly. His eyes dart between your body, and the fattest dick he's ever seen in his life. He doesn't know if he should be turned on or really, really insecure. His cock answers by jumping against his abdomen and leaving a sticky trail of pre-cum. Traitor.
Logan grunts as he lifts you up almost effortlessly, his arms resting at the back of your knees, using them as makeshift slings to hold you up against his chest, which is flush to your back. He quirks an eyebrow as Scott just stares, unmoving. “Well? You don't need me to tell you where to put your dick, do you? No wonder she's so pent up.”
“Asshole.” Scott says simply in response, stepping towards you. His words lack any real bite – he's too turned on to even think about being pissy. He fists his length leisurely a few times before lining up with your entrance, pushing forward inch by inch until his hips are flush with the backs of your thighs, your legs dangling helplessly at his sides.
You gasp and whine as Logan moves to slide in alongside your boyfriend, nails digging into his skin until Logan is buried to the hilt inside of you. Scott instantly peppers the skin of your neck with kisses, trying to soothe you.
“You alright, baby?” He asks, all soft and sweet. He's forgotten why he was mad at you in the first place, mind foggy with arousal as your cunt clenches around him.
“She's fine, bub. She can take it. Isn't that right, sweet thing.” Another whine, then a nod. It eases Scott, if only slightly, when he feels you relaxing against them. A beat passes, and then another. His eyes meet Logan’s and they both start to move – slowly, at first, before picking up the pace.
You're so much tighter like this, sucking him in desperately as he tries to find a rhythm with Logan. He can barely focus in anything but your heat and the way his cock ruts against Logan's as they both fuck into you. It's almost maddeningly hot, and he's feeling overwhelmingly anxious that he's going to cum in an embarrassingly short amount of time.
Scott leans down, his lips meeting yours as he rocks forward over and over. His lashes flutter as he sucks on your tongue, kissing you greedily. He feels a hand tugging at his hair, pulling him away from you before sharp teeth start to nip at his lower lip, a tongue bullying his way into his mouth. He sucks on Logan's, too, kissing him back just as hungrily as he did to you. He rubs soothing circles into your hips as he picks up the pace, coaxing you into relaxing further.
A growl rumbles Logan's chest when he feels Scott fucking you faster, his hips snapping against the fat of your thighs with more intensity, like he's determined to fuck you better than the other man. He's bigger, tip bullying your cervix with every thrust in a way that makes you tear up. His nose twitches as he smells the saltiness of your tears, then he's pulling away from Scott to lap them off of your face.
“Shhh, shh… you can take it, sweetheart. I know you can.” He coos softly, moving to nuzzle the crook of your neck, nose running along the skin like he's scenting you. Both men continue to slide in and out of your slick heat, grunting and groaning like animals as they chase their release.
“You gonna cum for me, baby?” Your boyfriend coos. Scott needs you to cum soon, because he's barely holding on as it is. He doesn't want to leave you unsatisfied – especially now he's very aware Logan will gladly pick up his slack. His hand falls from your hip to make its way between your legs, thumb rubbing circles into your clit until your muscles grow taut. He grins, sucking a possessive mark over one of the hickies Logan had left earlier. Take that, asshole.
Your walls flutter and clench around both cocks as you reach your peak, a shaky moan of Scott's name leaving your lips as your head falls back against Logan's shoulder. Check and mate.
“Hear that, kitty claws? I'm still her favourite.” He huffs out, hands returning to your hips in an almost bruising grip as he ruts helplessly inside your tight heat, balls tightening as his orgasm rapidly approaches.
“S'only ‘cause she's lookin’ at ya, dumbass.” Really, it shouldn't be Logan's gruff, fucked-out tone that drives him over the edge, but it is. He blows his load a second later, forehead dropping against the crook of your neck as he fills you with spurts of hot, white liquid. He gasps against your skin, nails digging into your plush flesh.
Logan isn't far behind, grunting as he forces every inch of his cock deep inside of you, head tipping back as he releases. The tips of his claws threaten to breach the skin of his knuckles, but he manages to suppress them enough that they never fully unsheathe. He pants softly, chest heaving as he thrusts shallowly through his orgasm.
“Fuck.” He hisses, slowly pulling out of you. He lifts you off of Scott's cock, settling you down on the seat of the motorcycle so you can all catch your breath. Logan rubs soothing circles into your back as Scott steps forward, all but slumping against you as he embraces you.
“Did so good, baby. Was perfect.” He breathes out, pressing kisses along your bare shoulder. He pulls back just enough to look at Logan, who's already lighting up a cigar. “The fuck did that even come from?”
That shit-eating grin lights up the older man's face again as he takes a few short draws from the cigar in his mouth. He exhales the smoke, pulling it out of his mouth to speak.
“Trust me, pretty boy. You really don't wanna know.”
#logan howlett x you#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#scott summers#scott summers x reader#scott summers x you#scogan#scott summers x logan howlett#xmen smut#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader
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