#sucks for the ladies though because mans gay as hell

[yamiiwaii]

in lmkverse, female macaque demons would probably think mac is hotter than swk because they’re attracted to red facial markings, the darker red and more widespread, the better lol

hi its 7 in the morning and this is so random it made me giggle so much because i immediately thought of some female demons trying to flirt with macaque and wukong being all >:O >:( about it. dude gets tunnel vision and can not see the fact that macaque is very obviously not interested in them

[thisisaname-whatahappyname]

SHE WAS A MAN ? YOURE TELLING ME THEY WERE GOING TO BREAK THE QUIET AUTISTIC COUPLE AWARD REGARDLES???

"they got rid of the best male character in the series"

ok?? die mad about it. they just invented the cuntiest woman in the series. move on

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

AN: TW this post contains a homophobic slur.

Transcript under the cut

Professor Munch: Everyone, this is Nancy. She’s one of my favorite students. I am so glad she can join us this evening to observe our weekly GSA meeting.

Nancy: And what is a GSA?

Morgan: It stands for Gay–Straight Alliance. It’s just a safe space for queer kids to hang out and talk about real world issues.

Knox: Yeah, we go out and do stuff off campus. It’s pretty tight.

Nancy: Queer? So...this is a club for homosexuals?

Darling: [sucks teeth]

Knox: [chuckles nervously] I mean, sure I guess? Me and Morgan are bisexual. That means we dig the fellas and the ladies, heh.

Professor Munch: What’s important is that this space is for everyone, from all walks of life. We support each other here, no matter who you love. We keep each other safe. That’s why I invited you to sit in on our session. I figured you could use a friend or two-

Nancy: Ugh! Oh my God? You think I’m- I’m not like that, ok!?

Nancy: I am not a homosexual! What the hell made you think I’d want to be apart of something like this?

Professor Munch: No, dear- I’m not implying you’re like anything! This club welcomes all people. I thought you could use the support. Why, your brother started the very first GSA at this school-

Nancy: Oh, don’t you fucking dare! My brother wasn’t some depraved pervert and I’m not a d****!

Darling: [jumps up, chair scrapes hardwood floor] What the fuck did you just say? You can’t come up in calling people that shit!

Nancy: I-I didn’t! All I’m saying is that I’m not like that! I’m not like you-

Darling: Not like who? Not like a d?****?

Darling: What the fuck is your problem? Munch, who is this bitch?

Professor Munch: Easy, Dee. Calm down-

Darling: Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You let some straight white girl walk in here and say something we heard screamed at us our whole fucking life! Say it again! I dare you!

Professor Munch: That’s enough! Please! Let me handle this.

Nancy: [between sobs] M’sorry...m’so sorry...

Professor Munch: [sighs] Just, take some time to think about this, Nancy. Look inward.

Nancy Narrates: [Look inward] x3

Nancy: If it’s ok...I’d like to apologize.

Professor Munch: Everyone? Is it alright if Nancy speaks?

Morgan: I don’t mind.

Darling: [sighs] Whatever man.

Nancy: [exhales] When I first heard that word, I was 11 years old. My mother found letters I wrote to my pen pal. She mailed a photo of herself from her birthday party, she wore this really pretty yellow dress with little blue flowers on them.

Nancy: Yellow is my favorite color, so I said she was as pretty as a sunflower. My mother tore up the letter and made me rewrite it. She looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘do you want someone to read this and think you’re a-’

Nancy: She said it again when was 14, a girl from my ballet troupe was only brushing my hair. She pulled me from the class. She said it again two years ago, when she found out that I fell in love with-

Nancy: I know that word hurts because it’s been said to hurt me even though I’m not... It doesn’t matter if I’m not, I shouldn’t have said it. It was a horrible thing to do. I am so incredibly sorry.

Professor Munch: Thank you for sharing your story. This is what GSA is about. Coming together, creating a community, and creating safe spaces. Dee, is there anything you want to say to Nancy? Anything you’d like to speak on or about how you feel?

Darling: Nah...

Nancy Narrates: [I knew that an apology alone wouldn't suffice to mend the situation. When it came to friendships, I didn’t know how to genuinely make amends, but as a Landgraab, I knew that I could leverage my wealth and status to create a meaningful impact]

Morgan: You got us the biggest hall on campus?! Nancy, this is sick as fuck!

Professor Munch: [laughs] I’ll have to agree with Morgan for lack of a better word. This is sick as heck! I don’t know where to begin to thank you for this gift.

Nancy: It’s the least I could do. Now you can stop meeting in that tiny corner in the commons.

Darling: Charity work for your little sorority, huh? What’s with you, yo?

Nancy: What do you mean?

Darling: You’re so rich, you just buy your way through shit?

Nancy: It’s how I was raised.

Darling: I can’t figure you out.

Nancy: I promise, I’m not a bad person.

Darling: We’re not like everyone else on campus. We’ll show you something real. You gotta be real with us too.

Nancy Narrates: [I found myself wanting to do exactly that—to show them the real me, whoever she was]

Siobhan: I’m planning a party for the Thetas Friday night. Perfect opportunity for you to bond with your sisters.

Nancy: I’m a little busy Friday night...maybe next time?

Siobhan: Being apart of a sorority is more than just the cute merch and bragging rights. We’re involved with the community and with this campus. As a pledge, I do expect you to commit to these things.

Nancy: I know and I will. I just need to take care of something.

Siobhan: [sighs] Don’t let me down, sister.

[the group murmurs excitedly]

Professor Munch: You did all this, Nancy?

Nancy: I hope it’s ok I’m here. I figured you could break in your new room with a movie night. Everything is already taken care of, and I bought a ton of movies ranging from comedy to horror and everything in between. They’re all yours to keep! Same with the popcorn machine. I know I’m using money again to impress you but... I guess I’m still trying to figure out what it means to be real. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it all.

Morgan: Yeah, not so fast. Stick around, watch a movie with us!

Nancy: Are you sure?

Knox: Of course we’re sure, squirt.

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

it sucks ass when they censor/rewrite real people though.

Assuming this is about LGBTQ historical figures:

Imagine that, for whatever reason, 500 years from now humans generally categorize people's pattern of sexual/romantic attraction based on the hair length of the people they're attracted to. There's essentially two types of humans: people attracted to people with short hair, and people attracted to people with long hair. Exceptionally enlightened individuals may recognize someone might be attracted to both, or that maybe they don't define their sexuality by the hair length of their partner(s) at all, but they're few and far between. A person from then might look back on someone from now - say some famous man's pictures of him with his various partners over the years - and be utterly baffled by what they see, because here he is with men with short hair, and men with long hair, and men with no hair at all, so what the hell is going on here? Of course we might just say "there's nothing to be confused about, this man is gay and these are just pictures of him with his different boyfriends over the years", and the future person would say "what the fuck does 'gay' mean? Here in 2523 we categorize people by the hair length of who they want to fuck and nothing else."

The point of this exercise is not to deny that people in different societies separated by vasts gulfs of time and space from our own ever experienced same-sex attraction or had same-sex partners or whatever, but that looking back on those people through the lense of our culturally and temporally specific method of understanding sexuality and gender is an inevitably difficult, bewildering, and oftentimes futile endeavor. If we look back on two historical dudes (or less often ladies) and observe they were really, really close with each other and it was remarked in their time they shared a bedchamber, and we say either "they were just really good friends don't worry about it" or "they were 100% gay yaoi husbandos in love forever and ever", in both cases we're projecting a modern understanding of love, sex and relationships that are likely missing the nuances of how they and their contemporaries actually saw their relationship in the context of the time and place where they lived. Good historians, whether amateur or professional, will endeavor to uncover that nuance and context, and bad ones will attempt to erase it one way or another.

[liljakonvalj]

Not a single person has asked, but my favourite musical genre is musicals/show tunes. And I thought I'd give you guys the top placing song from each musical on my Spotify wrapped this year. They are in order of appearance on my top 100.

I made a little poll at the end in case you wanna count how many of the songs you've heard. :)

The story of the phantom from Goosebumps the musical - Phantom of the auditorium (first on the list). An enchanting (but wrong) retelling of Phantom of the opera. I know nothing of the rest of this musical, but the female singer is sooooo good.

Uppstånden from Det största påskÄgget (Risen from The largest Easter Egg). A Swedish musical about the origins of the Christian Easter. This song specifically is about when the deciples has learnt that Jesus rose from the dead. This song has banger lyrics and the key change towards the end elevates it all.

A story told from The count of Monte Cristo - the musical. The villains conspire to frame the main character for crimes he didn't commit. We love a good villain song <3

Off with his shirt from Galavant. I don't really know what's going on but I think the main character has been trapped in a gay bar?? A bop though!

The megaSIX from SIX. The end of the musical were all the wives of Henry xiii has united in one final song about their legacy with a mashup of their solos. High energy throughout despite heavy subject matters

You didn't know from Hazbin hotel. The main character learns that the heavenly angels are behind much of the troubles in hell (I think??) Honestly I had severely misheard some lyrics that made me rethink the song once I heard them correctly, and I don't think it's as good now :(( I didn't know... ;)

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A man after midnight) from Mamma Mia the movie. This movie is so feelgood, and i think this song takes place at the party the night before the wedding. A banger!

Dead girl walking from Heathers the musical. Veronica, main character, hooks up with new bad boy in town JD. This will surely not have dire consequences for her classmates...

Cabinet battle #1 from Hamilton. Hamilton discusses politics in the newly formed us government. The piano slaps.

Från New York till Stillwater from Kristina från Duvemåla (From New York to Stillwater from Kristina from Duvemåla). This song is legit quite boring, legit a quick retelling from a side character of the main characters going from a to b. I would've preferred the second song from this musical on the playlist (A Sunday in Battery Park) to be the highest of the two because it's a more interesting and honestly a song I prefer over this one. But alas. This song is quite introspective and actually a bit frightful of the unknown that awaits them. We love a Danjel solo though!

Devil take the hindmost (Quartet) from Love never dies. The phantom, Raoul and madame Giry wonder if Christine will take the Phantom's deal while Gustave vocalises. This musical sucks <3 but the way their verses twine together just tickles the brain.

Lady marmalade - Thunderpuss Radio Mix from Moulin Rouge. It's a remix from the credits of the movie. It's so fast-paced and chaotic in a good way.

God Games from Epic the musical. Athena beseeches Zeus to help Odysseus from the island he's imprisoned on, and he challenges her to convince other gods to join her cause. The singers for both Athena and Zeus are just absolute power houses and their parts is highlights of the entire musical, and to have them both in a single song is a treat. I also enjoy how the song changes with the different gods' appearances.

Revenge party from Mean girls the musical. Janice, Damien and Cady plots the downfall of Regina. Janice is so extra and hyperbolic which makes for a funny and up beat song.

You can't stop the beat from Hairspray. It's just a good group song.

Madame guillotine from The scarlet pimpernel. The citizens of Paris sings of their new favourite execution method. It's a good ensemble song.

Den vej jeg går from Robin Hood (Eventyrteatret). (The road I walk from Robin Hood (the adventure theatre)). Two siblings argue over who has chosen the right path. Idk much because it's in danish but it's good.

Down once more/Track down this murderer from The Phantom of the opera. The bombastic end to a grand musical. The phantom, Christine and Raoul face off in the Phantom's lair. The parts were they sing over eachother are so good, the emotions are high and both lyrics, voices and orchestra just build it all up perfectly.

Gethsemane (I only want to say) from Jesus Christ superstar. Jesus laments his coming death, begging God to save him from this burden. The WHY SHOULD I DIE??! is truly legendary.

There! Right there! from Legally blonde the musical. Elle makes her first victory in court due to her amazing gay-dar. This song is so wonderfully mid 00s

Legendary from Bring it on the musical. It's showtime and the troupe gotta show what they're made off. I've never seen the musical or the movie it's based off so I'm not really sure what's happening. But it sounds Legendary.

Hopelessly devoted to you from Grease. Sandy laments her crush, that isn't what he seemed this past summer. The instrumentals when she sings "But now ... There's nowhere to hide!" are phenomenal.

[thegeminisage]

sigh it's time for a star trek update. i'm behind because i've been busy thinking about lucanis dragon age. all of these are voyager episodes!! i don't have to separate them anymore :(

i don't remember which days we did what but the lineup is "equinox part i," "equinox part ii," "survival instinct," "barge of the dead," "tinker, tenor, doctor, spy," "alice," "riddles," "dragon's teeth," "one small step," "the voyager conspiracy," and "pathfinder." tragically, these will be short because there's too many and i want to go back to thinking about lucanis dragon age.

equinox parts i & ii:

TEAR THE BITCH APART!!!!!! i have never been so thrilled to see janeway ready to rip into somebody. that other captain was vile and reprehensible

delicious when janeway and chakotay fight. kind of distressing but also very fun and sexy

seven is always so good but she was GREAT in this episode

the doc's ethical program being taken away :( im glad he and seven had that little moment together...ik theyre not canon or anything and it wouldn't be my first pick for seven ships but i wouldn't have been mad about it at all. their relationship is very sweet

survival instinct:

SEVEN OF NINE MY BELOVED

damn she really did drag 3 other people back into hell so she wouldn't be there alone. i love that

the philosophical debate was kind of weak though...like literally nobody is sitting here thinking being alive as a borg is better than being dead. what even was that

also, that isn't how this works. that isn't how any of this works. the borg don't get cut off and develop feelings on the fly. they don't remember who they are when they're magically removed from the amnesia collective. picard remembered who he was and knew what was happening to him the WHOLE TIME. the horror was in not being able to do anything about it! i really and genuinely hate to say it, but tng did it better

barge of the dead:

I LOVE WHEN B'ELANNA GETS COOL STUFF TO DO

she looked hot as fuck in that armor

i do like that in this episode you can hardly blame tom paris for being alarmed. 90% of the time i am like tom paris nobody asked you but if i a hardcore atheist woke up from a coma one day and started talking about how you guys needed to kill me so i could go rescue my mom from hell i would hope someone would have the compassion to hit me on the head again until i went back to normal

i like the idea of jadzia on this little boat until her friends got her into stovokor :')

tinker, tenor, doctor, spy:

this episode was bad when they showed seven's tits but everything else was really good

i wasn't sure about it at first because of all the adoration fromt he ladies but like it's ridiculous on purpose, you know? it was funny.

i liked it! i liked that the doctor got more rights and that he got something scary and dangerous to do

bonus of the borg transformations. hot.

also those little aliens were horrible to look at but i did like that one guy stanning the emh and then realizing he had his shit all wrong and he was cooked. really funny

alice:

this one sucked so bad. like idk there's nothing else to it. it sucked bad. b'elanna, dump him. i could be your man

riddles:

AAAAUGHGHGGH TUVOK

i really like neelix when he isn't with kes. i always forget until there's a good neelix episode and then i'm like oh yeah neelix! he and tuvok make such a good duo sometimes

tuvok in this episode...damn did we know tim russ can act? like he can fucking act

it's v much like the tos episode where spock gets jizzed on by that flower and learns to feel happy...but at the expense of his logic and his duty

the ending KILLED me. tuvok gave him so little except that one pun but thats like all you need

as fun as this was, it would have been even better if seven was the one walking tuvok through it all

dragon's teeth:

i liked the myth this one drew the title from. very fun

but also, What Prime Directive

we DID get good seven of nine content out of it though. i love when she and janeway are gay

one small step:

i started out feeling skeptical about this one because of the 23andme episode. i was worried they were going to be Too excited about history

nonetheless i did absolute shed tears during the funeral section at the end. i get it .gif

are they laying some chakotay/seven groundwork here? i kind of enjoyed it. did not like him telling her to knock off the attitude but it was otherwise very fun. i won't be mad about it

the voyager conspiracy:

i'd heard a lot about people either loving or hating this one before we watched it but i LOVED it

at first i was bewildered but even though the plot is a little weak there were so many good character moments i just can't get mad about it

the j/c candlelit dinner...mwah. they just do this on the reg??

also their mutual suspicion of each other. i would have been annoyed or perhaps distressed if it had gone on too long but it was the perfect amount of time to be just a little angsty and establish how well they know one another and how much they trust each other

AND bonus janeway/seven at the end that had me welling up. OOOUGH i love gay people

pathfinder:

THIS SUCKED SO BAD I HATE BARCLAY WHY WOULD THEY BRING DEANNA BACK JUST TO PROP HIS LAME ASS UP I HATE THE HOLODECK I HATE TNG GET IT OUT OF HERE

TONIGHT: "fair haven" and "blink of an eye."

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 056: The Frightful Four!!! (SSM 41-43)

MASTERPOST

The last time, Peter became a lizard for a while. Fun stuff!

In this issue, mysterious enemies try to seem menacing and utterly fail, homophobia, as well as special guests and the best villain ever!

Are you shocked, are you impressed, are you terrified yet? *snickers*

After using his powers to give his late paper to Professor Slater, Spider-Man interrupts Meteor Man at a microwave exhibition (...). We met this antagonist previously in Team Up, which shows you exactly how important he is. Bill Foster, whomst I know from Ant-Man and the Wasp (the movie) but who apparently has a different position, is giving a lecture nearby, but gets the opportunity to lend him a hand as Giant-Man.

The art actually has a lot of trouble trying to convey how big exactly Giant Man is supposed to be. There's perspective, and then there's whatever is going on here.

Meteor Man gets away, they track him down, and Giant-Man casually drops in his internal monologue that's he's dying of radioactive poisoning. Wow. Um. Alright.

They fight, Meteor Man gets to grow bigger, but...

Oh, between twelve and thirty feet? How audacious. How incredible. Show us, dude.

Okay, this is better! Actually a nice page.

That... was an issue alright.

Issue #42 has a neat cover!

Peter is trapped in traffic and ends up swinging to his class boat ride thingy.

I love this, because half the time I barely register that Marcy Kane and Debra Whitman are different characters. Digital issues (hey, have you seen these clean screenshots? Much better!)!

My opinions on each character: Philip is alright, I need him to have more of a personality. Marcy sucks, been there, done that (although I just read a spoiler about her and what the fuck, I'm curious to see how THAT plays out). Steve is hot and adorable. No opinion on Sloan and Debra.

I'm glad to see Peter's social life though. I still feel like these characters aren't anywhere as solid as the previous cast was, but I think jumping between both magazines really doesn't help either.

I missed you, hon.

No but seriously, I'd be interested to reread SSM only focusing on it, I think it's probably a stronger experience.

Marcy Kane immediately aggros Pete, but Connors interrupts them. Meanwhile, the Frightful Four aren't far away! We've got the Sandman, the Wizard, Electro and the Trapster (who even is that? :p).

They do a bit of mischief, and I'm pretty sure that cop is homophobic. "PARTNERS?", he says (lmao).

On the boat, Peter wonders whether he has a crush on Marcy (nooo) when Debra arrives.

Some depth? Wow.

Anyway, before Peter settles on whether he wants a relationship with our desperate lady, the Human Torch cockblocks him.

Why is this so funny?

She feels guilty about Peter getting away, and...

New, rare poses!

Hell yeah. Sorry for the amount of screenshots but I really enjoy looking at these!

It wasn't the Human Torch, however, only our Frightful Four! The Wizard created a suit imitating the Torch and gives it to Electro.

Our hero doesn't get fooled for long, and a fight quickly breaks.

A hilarious moment is Spidey trying to figure out who's attacking him. The Sinister Six? No, the Frightful Four after replacing Madam Medusa with Electro? No, it's actually the Frightful Four after replacing the Brute with Electro! What a mess hahahaha

In his own words, Spidey's fighting a "foursome". *snickers again*

The fight goes badly for Spidey, until... Electro interrupts everybody because now, he wants to know who's under the mask.

They sure are a bunch of idiots.

Their plan is to impersonate Spidey and eliminate the Fantastic Four. Uh-huh, sure. And the story continues in FF #218!

This is a really cool first page.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALRIGHT

The Human Torch acts extremely gay with "Spider-Man" in this scene. He gets knocked out. The Thing and the security system are also quickly neutralized, but as our villains enter the building, Sue wakes up... she finds her brother, but is quickly attacked and subsequently, knocked out. And just when Mr. Fantastic gets unconscious as well, Spidey arrives!

The ensuing fight is fun, and at last, all's well.

Anyway, SSM #43!

OH THIS IS GORGEOUS. THE SHADING ON PETER'S SHIRT. I LOVE IT. His face, not so much... Anyway, Steve and Peter being bros, hell yeah!

So bandits have broken into ESU and use Debra as a hostage. They get their stuff and get away, but not without Peter throwing a gadget of his at their car.

Handsome.

His spider-tracer leads him to a twink.

And what an ugly twink. Especially compared to this highly stylish Belladonna, what the heck, I love her.

I think I've been spoiled something on Roderick Kingsley, but we'll see how it goes.

Anyways, Belladonna wants to steal Roderick's ideas, apparently. Spidey decides to intervene. The villains get away, and Roderick's annoyed that Spidey ruined his apartment with the fight. However, our hero surmises that Belladonna wanted chemicals for her special gas.

The next day, at the Daily Globe, Sandy Jones is quickly charmed by Peter and she explains that Roderick is rumored to steal his designs. Plus, he has a show that night! Peter easily gets the assignment, and goes to his lab to work on countering Bella's gas.

I love that second panel, it's a very strong one.

Debra's here, she bought what was on Peter's list. He's so happy he asks her on a date, to which she obviously agrees. I would too, girl.

Turns out what Peter was searching for was vinegar. He worries about reactivating his ulcer, which is a nice callback to a storyline from like, ASM 80 something. That's cool!

This feels like a Pretty Little Liars storyline, I love it. Seriously, I love this issue! Also, Peter very pretty.

Anyway, Spidey stops the bandits, but Belladonna gets away!

Oh, I really went from bored at very excited throughout this post, wow! Hell yeah.

[reddawnmultimuse]

Itachi:

🪢do they have a kink? if so, what is it?

🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners?

🌙do they need an emotional connection or are one-night-stands an option?

🫂how do they feel about friends with benefits?

🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant?

🏳️‍🌈what’s their sexual orientation? have they ever experimented outside of that [for more binary orientations such as heterosexual/homosexual]?

👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more?

🛏️what’s their favorite position?

🏬would they have sex in public? if so, how public is too public?

❤️‍🔥what’s their most erogenous zone?

💋do they like to kiss while having sex? do they cuddle afterward?

🫶what does after care look like for them?

Deidara:

🪢do they have a kink? if so, what is it?

🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners?

🌙do they need an emotional connection or are one-night-stands an option?

🫂how do they feel about friends with benefits?

🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant?

🏳️‍🌈what’s their sexual orientation? have they ever experimented outside of that [for more binary orientations such as heterosexual/homosexual]?

↕️are they a sub, dom, or switch? top, bottom, or switch?

🛏️what’s their favorite position?

🕒what’s the longest time they went without engaging in sexual activity with a partner? [masturbation doesn’t count]

🤪what’s the wildest place they’ve ever done something sexual?

❤️‍🔥what’s their most erogenous zone?

💦what’s their immediate post-orgasm reaction?

. Itachi

🪢Being blindfolded. Being a person that can see everything with the Sharingan, seeing nothing is electrifying for Itachi as it heightens his other senses for once.

🍆He's never used toys but he's not against them, whether they be used on his partner or himself.

🌙Emotional connection. He's too awkward for one-night stands.

🫂He's open to it depending on the person but he prefers relationships.

🍒He's still a virgin.

🏳️‍🌈 He's bisexual so he's ok with either or sex.

👄Either or. He'll take it and he'll give it.

🛏️Missionary. He likes the emotional intimacy that comes with it because he can see what his partner does or doesn't like. Also the kissing.

🏬Oh no. Again, he's far too awkward for that. Just having sex outside a bedroom would make him uncomfortable. ( living room? what if people see them through the window? bathroom? what if they slip and fall? ) He overthinks it.

❤️‍🔥Anything from the chest down. The further down you go, the more sensitive and anxious he gets.

💋Oh, he loves kissing and cuddling afterward. Itachi is a textbook "making love" type of man.

🫶Kissing, cuddling, compliments if he's comfortable enough. He doesn't have sex with just anyone so he wants that person to feel loved and appreciated afterward. Hell, he'd probably do it even if the sex sucked.

. Deidara

🪢Domination and borderline noncon. Deidara likes being forced to take it and the larger the size difference is between him and his partner, the more he gets off on it.

🍆He likes toys. He's used dildos and vibrations but they're not a substitute for real sex with him.

🌙One-night stands. He doesn't want an emotional connection with the other person because then he feels pressured to perform. Easier to just pump and dump.

🫂If it stays at sex and no feelings are involved then yeah, he's fine with a friends with benefits situation. Though, it'd be more like a "fuck buddy" instead of a "friend".

🍒Eighteen. Because no one felt comfortable enough to have sex with him before then. He doesn't remember who it was to though. All he knows if they may or may not be the father to his son.

🏳️‍🌈He's gay but he'll compliment a pretty lady when he sees one.

↕️Can be both submissive or dominate but can only bottom. He doesn't have the equipment to top. Even if he did, he wouldn't be interested in topping.

🛏️Doggy. Missionary and Cowgirl are too intimate for him.

🕒Since his son was born. Not that many people are interested in a single parent.

🤪In Hiruko. Not as comfortable when two people are in it. Sasori may or may not know. And it may or may not have been with Sasori.

❤️‍🔥His ears. Due to his deafness, his ears are insanely sensitive so just a little puff of air on them is enough to get him quivering. He could probably get off on it too.

💦Leaving. He doesn't like to stick around for cuddling or pillow talk.

[superbattrash]

I now have a new favorite character and went through the “I hate you, ok maybe not, you’re ok I guess” process with another character. So ya know. Cool

Sandy ep3

I’m gonna be thinking with a British accent if I keep watching this, my brain is stupid like that. I absorb accents, I should watch something American after this

Oh great, demons, huh? Oh, a dream? That doesn’t bode well. Or maybe it does, I don’t know yet, this is all a little confusing to me

280? Okay, you look great then, Hettie

Lol you thought she was gonna respect you simple for your name? That’s cute, sandy

A possessed princess? Okay, I’m listening

Oh HE’S possessed? Christo is totally a supernatural word, man, I know this one, he’s totally possessed, oh god ew, I can’t watch this, I might be sick

He’s kinda fine tho, ngl

Yeah, you totally brushed off the actual sandman, Constantine. Oh you do simply just not care. Cool

Oh you’ve lied so much he doesn’t believe you anymore, Ethel, that sucks but you kinda very much did that to yourself, you know

Ruby for the truth seems fair enough, doesn’t it?

Oh god no, don’t force romance into this please, I was actually having fun for a second…

…am I supposed to like her? At all? 🥲

Oh a new raven!! Matthew, awww, hello Matty!! Oh he’s a cutie, I like Matthew

Johnny is gonna take that from you, Ethel, you realize this, don’t you?

I’m sorry but the camera angles here are so fucking creepy

Lulu is totally his master, don’t be mean, sandy, just let Matty stay, look how cute he is. Honest, too, and so charming

It’s a very bright nightmare, Joanna. Oh the kid is gonna die, isn’t she? Of course she is, that’s why you’re so bitter, you sent her to hell with the demon, oopsie, huh? Left with an arm. That’s. Okay, ew

YOU love objects, you idiot. For once we agree, Joanna. Oh no, don’t poke at his trauma, I was starting to warm up to you. Don’t be an actual asshole now

I’m sorry, E, I don’t trust your kid. He’s made from Roderick’s DNA, he’s not good. Oh he’s a killer, great great great. DONT DO THAT, DONT GIVE HIM THAT WHAT THE FUCK, ETHEL

“Why?” Because humans are stupid, Sandy, it’s not like she left because she didn’t love her. Wait, does that mean we get a bi or gay lady? She seems like she might be another main character of sorts. Ok I can respect that

I also think your lady friend might be dead or in bad shape, Joanna. This is too much like a trap. Rachel, sorry, I’m bad with names. They’re doing the “hi”, okay, that’s kinda cute ig. Oh god no this is horribly awkward. You don’t deserve Rachel, Joanna, sorry, she’s too good to be true

Aw Matthew, baby, you’re so cute 🥺

They’re banging, sandy. They’re banging, don’t go up there. Don’t be that way, don’t do it, for once Matthew is right

You don’t sound sorry, J. But oh!! Oh she’s bi, that’s so nice, I like that- oh no. Oh god no, this can’t be good.

YOU did that?!!!?! Sandy, please tell me you didn’t do that to her. Oh thank god, it wasn’t you, I thought I was gonna have to hate you for a second there

Oh god. Oh no. No, that is so horrible, oh no. Poor Rachel :( SHOW SOME COMPASSION, SANDY, she didn’t mean to hold the sand, please help her??? I know you’re not actually human so you don’t feel our feels but please make her feel better, can’t you fix her?? This is so sad, Alexa okay Despacito

Oh. Oh my god, what are you doing? Is that helping? Is she dead?? Is she trapped in a good dream???? Oh no :(

Okay so you do love your son, sort of, I think. He’s totally gonna be a villain, ain’t he? Because she’s so dead now. 116 years that’s a lot, Johnny. She’s already gone. Oh great, now he’s more insane, that’s just. Great. Poor, handsome security guard OH MY GOD EW WHAT THE FUCK

Jesus Christ I need to watch something with small kittens after this, I feel sick 😵‍💫

Corin, don’t talk to him, don’t make him more evil :( ….this entire scene is kinda sweet though if I don’t think about the rest of the show, I mean

You really don’t like yourself, huh, Jo? Not even sandy thinks you’re that bad, just a little… misguided, perhaps. You’re not THAT bad okay, I don’t hate you

Just bring Matty, he’s a good bird!! He just wants to help, sandy, NO! NO DONT MAKE HIM SLEEP? oh okay this is how you travel, alright, never mind

[oranges-for-calico]

okay so I kind of just did a long bullet point list in my notes app, so i'm just going to pick some of them and copy them here! spoilers for Broadchurch season one! :) also like.. source material typical content warnings apply. and these were as I was watching so I got a little heated at times sorry about that

also these might be like not entertaining at all. I really don't know

also the dog ends up being okay so don't worry

EPISODE ONE - i looove the trope of somber/creepy music over happy scene. - i like the detective lady so far she’s so passive aggressive. also she’s returning from maternal leave or something - ALEC HARDYYYY

- “cameraphone” what decade is this - 2013, presumably

- “go down to check it out get yourself some fresh air” SENDS HIM. TO THE DEATH SITE OF A CHILD - JACOB ANDERSON AKA LOUIS IS IN IT WHATTTT

- fucking asshole. of course it was fucking twitter this is why twitter sucks. not fucking cool - GO OFF ALEC. BLOODY TWITTER - he’s a little shit is fucking right. die olly - wow the news industry seems very exploitative.

- “why didn’t you look in on him last night” WOAHH THERE - “why didn’t you” - “where were you last night” OOP - YOU HESITATED

- news lady fucking die. heartless fucking asshole who would do that. i hate you. the entire news industry should go die actually how disrespectful can you get

EPISODE TWO

- cctv footage hell yeah alec - alec are u ok - character trope: you think he’s mean but he’s actually just fucking miserable 24/7 - beth is not doing okay omg - rory!!!:)

- who asks a 15 year old for a light - oh she gave the stuffy back oh aw okay she’s kinda sweet fuck. sorry i told you to die reporter lady - “so you’re snooping on me now” SMOOTH LMFAO - how tf can you not remember your mates name. his story has so many holes - i think it’s a red herring though ? dude idk how this show works - you are not slick bro - why is he making that face - HIS PRINTS ARE THERE HAHAHAHHA

EPISODE THREE

- dude i could not commit a murder for many reasons but specifically i would not be able to come up with lies like that

- “you overcompensate” “i know”

- ur alibi is rubbish - there’s bloods in the boat mark. - eeee i’m scared of fishing hooks. that one time we looked at them in girl scouts scared me - “because i’m ashamed innit”

EPISODE FOUR

- nice to see alec in a good mood

EPISODE FIVE

- they’re making tom act as danny in the reconstruction ??? brutal - i keep forgetting this shows from 2013 - okay i hate the fact that the age of consent is 16 there

- awww look at them gossiping - bro i’m sorry i just *can not sympathize with a man who married a 17 year old when he was 40* - oh—

EPISODE SIX - why the creepy music? is toms dad sus - “i’m always alright” that’s a very The Doctor thing to say

- “i didnt assault him it was a joke gone wrong” that’s not a great sentence - WHY do people get so defensive when they’re being questioned. IF IT WASNT YOU JUST PROVIDE THE EVIDENCE . YOU DONT NEED TO GET ANGRY

- oh boy tom what have you got. i mean you’re very sneaky so good job on that but girl please just tell the police what’s going on………..

- dean lives on a farm haha nerd - wow alec is not doing well

- “he used to be my friend” interesting wording tom

- girl nigel did you just steal the dog - that’s not nice - FIND HER BASTARD DOG. NAEW - NON NPLEASE DONT KILL THE DOG - NINOJIJNNO - NOPE

EPISODE SEVEN

- “you nearly died on me” “neowww” - alec you are literally out of breath pleasee go back to the hospital - i love how alec wears a button up over another button up that’s so gay

- OMGGGGGGG SUSAN KNOWS WHO IT IS!!! - tbh i bet it’s nigel, he’s mean and (probably) killed the dog

- ?? - actually do tell alec i’m really curious - oh?? were you having an affair? - OH. SHE WAS HIS WIFE

- FUCK NO NOT THE DOG NO NO - fuck no. no no no no - the dog is okay as of now

EPISODE EIGHT

- OKAY. - NOT THAT IM SURE YET BUT. TOMS DAD IS THE PERFECT KILLER. HES BEEN HERE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS ENTIRE TIMR BUT. HES NEVER BEEN A PRIME SUSPECT - SHOE SIZE MENS TEN FUCJ YEAH - “you’ve done good work on this miller, well done.” - THE SUSPENSE OMGGG - allllec.

- 59 DAYS EARLIER THIS WILL BE GOOOOD

- SHUT UUUUP HES INTERROGATING MILLER LMFAO - it was indeed joe. harsh though lol - can alec get some proper medical attention now

- and i thought they’d hug - FINISHED:)

if you found this entertaining lmk and I will post my notes from season two and three maybe :3 also I took notes while watching deadloch too

i watched Broadchurch last year and took notes like the entire time, would anyone be interested in me posting some of the funny ones?

[wooteena]

technoblade speedrunning adopting ranboo (high school edition): the fanfic

also on ao3!

hey remember this post? well i got so attatched and impatient that i wrote over 1k words for a pilot type chapter for it <3

chapter one: officer in my defense i punched that guy because he deserves it

-

Techno Blade-Minecraft would call himself smart. He got good grades without trying, learned second, then third languages with ease, read textbooks for fun, etcetera etcetera. Wisdom without experience was a rare thing to possess, especially in a high school senior but techno had it tight in his grasp, easily making him a ‘Model Student’. He understood he got unneeded attention from that, which sucked, but it was an easy trade-off to be the automatic teacher’s favourite.

But Techno was a man of wisdom, not a man of sense. So naturally, he remembered a fact about baby birds he learnt when he was six years old:

‘Classical "imprinting", as seen with for example, ducks or geese, means that the animal's instinctive programming says "the first big animal you see after hatching is your mom, follow them and look to her for food, warmth, love and learning’

Actually, Techno decided he was the man of Most Sense because at that very moment, the tallest, yet somehow weakest looking freshmen he’d ever seen was being cornered by a group of hefty looking seniors.

And the baby bird, with its innocent, scared eyes was looking right at him.

He looked around the hallway, a desperate scan for other students he could push his growing parental responsibility on to. It was a ghost town, as empty as the remakes of towns from the old west he saw on childhood school excursions.

‘Fuuuuuuuuuuck.’

Technoblade took a deep breath in through his nose, then released it out of his mouth like if he breathed hard enough, his empathy could be taken away with the non existent wind in the soul-crushing grey hallways. It obviously didn’t work because Jesus Christ that kid looked helpless.

As quickly as one could without compromising a freshmen’s still intact nose, Techno examined the seniors. They all wore the school football team’s letterman jacket (‘what is this, Heathers?’), a classic pointer for internalized insecurity, toxic masculinity and most importantly unrightfully self diagnosed Strong Guy syndrome, which meant that they definitely were only beating up a freshmen because that was the most they could actually fight. One point to Technoblade. They also were all at least a solid five inches shorter than him, which Techno would have laughed at if the situation wasn’t so dire. Point two for Technoblade.

Catching himself before letting his wandering mind think up a full five paragraph M.L.A sighted essay to why he could crush these nerds, he decided that two points was enough leverage to still crush these nerds, but with slightly less confidence.

With as much patience as he could, he slowly walked up to the group like a silent lion hunting his soon to be, very dead* (maybe not dead, *slightly bruised) prey. The baby bird, trapped in one of his prey’s chokehold, stared at him like he was a madman. Techno’s objective changed: knock out the dickhead choking a kid.

They stood in a corner, the choker in the middle, the other two blocking off the only escapes and laughing cruelly at the baby bird. Completely distracted.

Techno curled his fist, aiming to punch that asshole’s teeth in or at least break his nose. He starts to run, about five feet away from his target and oh god this is a terrible idea he does fencing not hand to ha-

BAM.

Choker’s nose made a resounding crack and fell back onto the jock on the left. Probably because it’d be ‘too gay’, or whatever, the guy sidesteps and lets a knocked out, nose broken, probably popular kid by comparing his ego to the size of his dick, fall onto the ground

The two awake bullies look between their knocked out friend, then at Techno, then at each other.

“MISS NIIIIHACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!”

Techno knew they’d call a teacher because they’re cowards but really? Nihachu?

That lady is TERRIFYING what did he do to deserve this.

He let out a long, disappointed ‘bruh’ before with a jolt, remembering the whole reason he punched that jock in the first.

The child.

He doesn’t bother trying to pick up him up because holy hell he’s tall, but pulls one of the kid’s arms over his shoulder, and with his other arm holds their waist and sprints as fast as he can down the hall.

“What the…” murmurs the half dead lump on his back, and while Techno’s surprised his vocal chords aren’t dead? Not even a ‘thank you’? Techno thinks he should start doing charity work at this point.

He continues to run though, because he’s a generous soul, until slowing to open a door that opens the blinding sunlight of the free world outside their prison.

Despite himself, Techno lets his mouth slip into a big enough smile that actually shows his teeth because he just did that. His celebratory moment is cut off though, because the weight on his back suddenly felt even heavier and-

Oh my God the baby bird just fell asleep on me.

Am I a father now?

What do I tell Phil? Does this make him a grandfather?

I can’t just take him home.

What’s stopping you?

Oh my God, I’m a genius.

Techno may be a proclaimed genius, but he is not immune to the inherent propaganda of cute children, so he sets down the kid on the least grimey part of a battered metal bench to get his first proper look at the sleeping giant.

Apart from his injuries (a bleeding nose, bruises forming on his arms, a black eye and a red handprint on his neck) the kid looked… Weird. Techno had subconsciously noticed it while carrying him, but only now the complete oddity of him. His skin from the jaw down was a uniform, warm, dark brown, which was decidedly normal, but his face was… different. Not ugly, no, he looked average, if not perpetually awkward, even in his sleep. The right side of his face was a similar, if not slightly darker tone than the rest of his skin, but where it got weird weird was from the middle of his face and leftward, his face was pale. As pale as Techno, which is saying something because Techno himself has albinism; he has no melanin in his skin.

He found himself sympathizing for the kid again. Techno himself got bullied for his reddish eyes - a symptom of his albinism, and his naturally stark-white skin and hair. It got to the point that he dyed his hair pink, which decidedly made it worse because a guy dying his hair pink ? apparently high school treason to both students and the school rules. His bullies had a colourful range of insults, at least; Techno’s personal favourites being from after he died his hair: homophobic slurs. The teachers had constant complaints and even a couple suspensions, which didn’t stop Techno, obviously. What a wonder public school is.

So yes, Techno understood the baby bird, because despite Techno’s only weakness being himself (and apparently non-threatening freshmen?) as of now, it wasn’t like he came out of the womb a scary pink haired senior. He knew bullying like the hair dye aisle at his local department store.

He knew that helping the kid would make him more attached to the point of no return, but he’d accepted it. It felt like feeding a wild animal more food after making the mistake the first time, it’s not like it’ll get less annoying to have it following you around.

The moment Techno processed his own thought, his face blanched - somehow getting whiter despite literally being the textbook definition of a white boy.

He’d fallen into the ‘senior adopting a defenseless freshmen’ trap.

Shit.

Even more embarrassingly, this didn't deter Techno from pulling his first aid kit, for once his anxious over-packing doing some good.

-

acording to tumblr statistics, only a small percentage of people who like the post actually reblog it. so if you liked it, give it a reblog! it takes five seconds and you can always delete the reblog later.

[tostada-turtle]

OHOHOHO I HAVE RETURNED

Downton Abbey new era spoilers?

Anyways:

-i can't wait until the movie comes out on streaming services because I want gifsets of Branson in that gay little swimming suit

-denker's sobbing legit taking everyone's attention off of violet fucking DYING was unnecessarily funny

-seeing all the servants in the fancy clothes enjoying themselves on the film set was fantastic, they looked so happy. Jesus the horrible horrible wig they gave Thomas though, unfair, bad.

-Molesley proposing? 😩 Crying wailing hitting the ground. I think he wins the whole movie though. He's marrying the woman of his dreams and gets to live out his new talent while being payed handsomely

-cora's illness, what was the point? Had no effect other than we got to see Hugh's face actually show emotion

-bisexual daisy is a plotline that could've been explored. C'mon, she was starstruck with the actress and bisexual is a good look on her

-branson was kinda a chump but his wife was beautiful

-my mother mentioned that Mary and lady Grantham parallel each other, having had "scandalous" relationships in their past but ultimately being biting and respected.

-we CANNOT forget that Mary is awesome and cool and attractive and that people who know she's married fall for her regardless and her voice is SO AWESOME and yeah lol I don't hate her but cmon

-okay it's time for Thomas talk lol

I know that people were upset that they kinda booted Ellis by marrying him off, and that if Thomas can get swept by a movie star, they could've been together BUT we gotta remember that Ellis really isn't as out there as Thomas. Thomas does little to hide his identity other than to protect himself. The whole goddamn house knows hes gay. He follows a random handsome stranger he met in a bar to a gay club with little thought. He kisses a man AT NIGHT while he's SLEEPING cus he thought he was also gay; follows that same guy around a fair even though they're on bad terms. He melts at any perceived romantic touch, etc.

Ellis, on the other hand, is much much more careful. Spits vitriol at gay people in order to get Thomas out of prison, holds his identity very close to his heart, really only relenting when he gives Thomas the little thingy (I don't remember what it was sorry). It would make sense for him to marry a woman so as the KINGS VALET he could keep up identities.

So thus we start New Era with a clean slate, and characters reminding him left and right that it sucks™ to be gay. He's had experience after experience where being gay in England goes poorly, so when this handsome, rich, American actor goes "hey you're pretty want to be my boytoy, live in America (get out of England), and keep me company (😉)?" Of course he's gonna be like "hell yeah" and fuck me man good for him! He definitely had more chemistry with Ellis, but that was because they talked a lot more, about being gay especially. With Dexter it was much more implied, but still a great offer. So ultimately I am pleased with how Thomas's story turned out, though I would've loved some more screentime with him, more than just him going 😳 everytime guy Dexter talks to him.

Oh but what I wouldn't do to see a swimsuited Thomas Barrow lounging by a pool in California, goddamn.

There was also no Thomas smoking. So what, Cora gets a cancer scare but Thomas doesn't? What's up with that? /j

Anyways good movie. I liked the first one for it's rewatchability more, but overall they're both good and an extension of these silly British characters I adore so much.

[bonny-kookoo]

Good Girl [J.JK x Reader]🔞🌼

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, a lil angst

Warnings: dom/sub dynamics, dom!jungkook, sub!Reader, size kink, oral (f & m rec.), mild dd/lg themes, praise kink, cumplay, reader is a virgin, jungkook is lowkey a hoe, a lil heartbreak, Taehyung makes an appearance, long haired jungkook, mentions of harrassment, jungkook punches a guy, strength kink

Jeon Jungkook was known to have a specific type when it came to his partners; tall, gorgeous, dominant and older. It's not like he's a true blood baby boy; he's just too lazy to put any effort into his flings. When a new girl answers to his ad online searching for a roommate for his apartment to share rent and space however, he didn't quite expect such an innocent being to turn up at his doorstep with a box full of pastel colored belongings, ready to move in. And what he definitely didn't expect was his growing interest in her and the feeling of having her under him, all submissive and ready to be ruined.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl || Charming Girl || Enticing Girl || Bad Girl || ???

A wink was all he got from the woman who'd occupied his bed together with him last night as she walked out his bedroom door, seemingly knowing how to get out of his apartment. Jungkook ran his hand through his still sweaty hair, groaning after stretching his arms above his head, his mood seemingly sunkissed. He just finished an almost three hour sex-session after all; all without him providing any actual effort. His dick had seemed to be enough for her anyways, her face when she rode him happy, although he could really care less.

Reaching for his laptop near his bed, he didn't bother to put on any clothes for now, just wanting to check if he'd gotten any new E-Mails or messages, clicking through the casual nudes that constantly seemed to slip into his postbox. He cocked his head to the side however when he noticed that a website has notified him of an answer to his ad online; he'd put it up some time ago now after Taehyung, his former roommate, had to move out simply because Jungkook himself couldn't survive the older one's sleep shedule. Tae seemed to never sleep, waking the younger one up on a daily (and nightly) basis. He really tried to get along with him, both of them sharing a deep friendship, but god no, as a roommate he couldn't stand that guy. His rent however was something he struggled as well, so as much as he really wanted to live alone, he couldn't. He clicked the message on the website, his interest peaked.

"Hello. Is this AD still up to date? My name is Y/N, and I'm searching for a place because I'm starting to work close by soon, and its too expensive to take the bus for hours on end every day.. so uh, I don't know? I'm really good at cooking, and I promise I'll be so quiet and organized you won't even notice I'm there! I work at a restaurant nearby as a waitress- I mean, I'm going to, haha. Ugh, I hope you're okay sharing your apartment with a girl as well, I for my part don't have a problem with that! So, I guess, I'll wait for your reply?

Have a nice day!"

He scoffed a little, hovering over the delete button, but instead, he clicked her profile icon, opening the details. Her profile picture showed a white big dog, being hugged by what he assumed was her. He couldn't see her face however, half of her face above her nose cropped out to fit the entire dog instead. He could spot her clothes however; a top and skirt, flat shoes and sheer tights with white spots on them. His brows furrowed, how old was she? Her profile said she was about a year younger than him, every post she'd made up to this date about pet stuff, clothes who all seemed to follow a pastel-color scheme, and artwork you seemed to be selling. You were basically the definition of cute.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Hopefully you wouldn't be too upset when he denied your request, but somehow he thought it over. You said you could cook and you did seem like an organized person. Knowing what kind of effect he could have on people, he could probably scare the shit out of you and keep you around without really having to interact much; and rent was also due this month, so the sooner he found a roommate the better. "Fuck it." He said, and began to type his reply.

When his doorbell rang, he almost burned his hand with the hot water he currently used to make himself a cup of ramen, cursing loudly. Who the fuck wasn't home again so he had to take their package in? One day the old lady across the hall would find a dead rat or something in front of her door, he swore to himself. Ripping the door open with so much force he could feel a bit of wind gushing by, his eyes widened when he saw a similar face in front of him- well, a little below actually. He remembered your lips instantly for some awkward reason, having tried to maybe paint a picture of what you looked like entirely over the last few days. He would've never expected something like this however- you looked like a literal doll in his opinion, your eyes wide open and mouth a little parted, shiny lipgloss making him swallow. Wait, did he really forget that you said you wanted to move in today?!

"I uh.. I'm- I'm Y/N, we- I- the ad..?" You said, your voice sounding nothing like the woman he usually was around. He smirked a little, moving so you could step inside, food now definitely forgotten on the kitchen counter. He really should've at least cleaned up a little he thought. Whatever.

"Yeah, figured. There you go, thats your room. The keys and shit are on the matress, make sure you don't loose 'em." He simply said, before leaving you alone in your new home to settle down.

"What I'm trying to say is, Y/N, you and I, this could really be something!" Taehyung slurred into your ear, loud enough for Jungkook to hear. For some reason it pissed him off to no ends how close the older one seemed to be, constantly hitting on you like he was a starving man, even know half of town knew very well that he wasn't. He could see why; you were innocent, and Tae known to fool around a lot. You were a challenge, something new for him, and he would lie if he said that he wasn't interested as well. Oh he was; but he also had at least some manners left inside of him, contrary to popular belief not only thinking with his dick. Taehyung however was only out for fun, making Jungkook question if he should really let this continue.

He decided no.

"Alright you fucking whore, it's bedtime isn't it? I'll call you a cab." Taehyung groaned at the younger one's words, nodded his head however before looking at you with a smirk.

"Ah, what a shame. But if you wanna have some fun you know my number!" He said, as if he didn't just offer you sex. You blushed at this, not answering, making Jungkook watch you a bit. You really were something else. "Jungkookie, you're so nicee... If I was gay I would definitely suck your dick-" The younger in question made a disgusted yet amused face, putting a hand over the blue haired one's mouth.

"Yeah yeah, you pay me back though you fucker." He said, before going into the kitchen to make the call. Taehyung, being left alone with you again started with his questioning, as he had done the entire night.

"So, Y/N.." He said, dragging out the last syllable of your name playfully, making you shuffle around where you were sitting a bit. He certainly was a pretty attractive guy, but he also seemed to be very straightforward- something you always had struggled with, being more on the shy side. You looked at him, silently urging him to continue before taking a sip of your own beer- cherry flavored, simply because the regular was too bitter in your opinion. "What kind of toys do you use, heh?" He questioned, and you coughed suddenly. Taehyung laughed loudly at that, cooing when you calmed down slowly.

"Taehyung, stop harassing my roommate you fucking idiot. I need her to pay half of the rent-" He said, before sitting down next to you, raising one of his eyebrows at you. "And she also makes some killer lasagna. Kinda wanna keep that." He said, before laughing a bit. Even though Jungkook seemed to be pretty intimidating to you, he was actually a pretty good guy to have around. You both barely ever fought, and overall you could almost see yourself falling for him too- he had the looks after all. But his habit of bringing people over just to satisfy himself was something that made you keep some distance between you both. He wasn't someone to settle down- let alone with someone like you. You were pretty much the exact opposite of what he seemed to like.

Sending Tae home was easier than you both thought. Not being able to go to bed you both decided to watch some late night shows while casually talking- something that wasn't uncommon between you two. Just when you seemed to have gotten comfortable again, Jungkook couldn't help but tease you again.

"So, what Toys do you use, heh?" He said, laughing with his head thrown back afterwards at your red face. This would certainly never get old in his opinion. Just as he was about to apologize and tell you you didn't have to answer, your voice was heard, however.

"None." You said, and his eyes widened at that. "What? Do I look like I do these things to you?" You asked, and he cocked his head to the side a bit, scanning you obviously. He shrugged, and you began to pout, moving to wrap your pastel pink blanket around yourself. "I don't even know how to buy one. That stuff is just.. don't know. Gross." You said, and Jungkook turned on the couch, body facing you now, his interest sparked.

"Gross? So you never had sex before?" He said, and you went silent. Were you serious right now? You were an angel in his eyes, body proportions almost perfect, hell, even your slight imperfections were adorable in his eyes. Up until now he had been sure that you at least have had your fair share of experience, but a virgin? His world was suddenly turned upside down. "Well.. that's something I didn't expect." He said, making you raise your eyebrows at him. "You're hot. Thats why. Oh well." He said, missing the way your eyes widened at that. "I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight." He simply said, and you answered with a short 'goodnight' as well- still a bit surprised by his statement. Jungkook thought.. you were attractive?

He'd somehow gotten used to you, how you would leave your pastel pink but admittedly really soft blanket in a pile on one edge of the couch in the living room, how you sometimes left your toothbrush in the sink when you'd been in a hurry, or how you would hum to a song, not knowing he could hear you very clearly. Maybe he really did go soft after living with you for a while. He still didn't know himself why he got so upset with Taehyung the day prior; was he really being selfish? He was protecting you, nothing more. Taehyung was everything but a gentle lover, jungkook just knew he'd break you for sure, not to mention that you already stated how much you despised one night stands, which were practically Taehyungs speciality. He was just looking after you, nothing more.

The more he thought about it however, the more problematic the entire plan became.

But even now, while the young woman whose name he had already forgotten was giving it her all sucking his dick, all that seemed to swim around in his head were the events of the previous evening; how innocent and embarrassed you looked at him when you told him you'd never bought, let alone use a toy before. Surely you'd be someone to enjoy a good vibrator he thought, maybe as a gag he could buy you one? Oh how enchanting you'd look, spread out on his mattress while he would edge you over and over until you'd be crying, begging for his mercy. He would praise you for taking it so well, for being so good for him and only him, and he just knew you would blush. Instead of rushing to his own satisfaction, he would go slow, agonizingly slow, just to see how far he could push you. He would feast on you like a predator on his prey, pull you close so you had no chance of escaping him, he would trace every curve of your skin, gently, as if to make up for the bruises and Mark's he would surely leave all over you to feed his inner need to claim you, even though he would never let anyone see you like this while he was alive and breathing anyways. He just knew you would fit perfectly underneath him, his body covering you and shielding you away from the world around. Would you be able to take all of him? He probably would have to stretch you real good before even thinking about pushing his dick inside you, yet he just knows you would somehow make him proud and take it all, and he would continue his praises, telling you what a good girl you are.

He almost laughed at the situation, he really was in deep, wasn't he? Frustrated and confused he started to picture someone else entirely kneeled between his legs on the floor, how you'd bat your eyelashes at him like the fucking angel you were instead of the girl currently there, and that thought alone gave him the final push to shoot his load down the strangers throat, who moaned obscenely at the feeling. Usually he would be aroused, ready for more, but the sound of someone who wasn't his little roommate ripped him out of his daydream. This couldn't go on like that. Sending the lady out without many words, he decided that he just needed to fuck you, and all would be good again. He was just curious. Nothing else. He just needed to satiate his hunger and he could go back to normal.

How would he be able to do this without ending up hurting you? No matter how big his hunger for you was, he also considered you somewhat of a friend. He remembered when you came home crying one time after a bad day at work, and how he wanted to hold you, shielding you from any harm, making you feel safe. Because that's what he, and only he could do in his opinion. No matter what, he'd protect you, as weird as that sounded. Shit.

He really had a crush on you.

Unknowing to him you always held your hands over your ears whenever he brought home a different girl, not being able to listen to his moans mixed with someone else's. You were slowly beginning to regret moving in, already starting to think about maybe searching for a different apartment. But the rent was cheap, your room big, and his company relaxing when he wasn't busy being buried in someone he couldn't even remember after a day or two. Somehow tears were leaking out of your eyes, and you took your hands down from the sides of your head to wipe them away, careful to be as silent as possible as to not alert him that you were awake, well aware of the shower turning on. You did notice however how his sessions became shorter and shorter, always seeming to end sudden instead of usual. But the more you thought of it, the more angry at yourself for falling for this manwhore you became. You really should hate him- but you couldn't.

Tonight was definetely the prime example of why you didn't go into clubs. The sheer amount of people around you, the smell of sweat and cheap cologne and perfume all around made you feel like a headache was inevitable. Why were you here again? Oh yes. You followed Taehyungs advice and 'tried to make friends' instad of looming around your apartment all day. But right now you just really wished you stayed home instead of going here.

Sure, you liked your coworkers, and they seemed nice and everything, but if you were being honest, they're definition of fun was entirely not yours. You began to feel cramped up in the large club, making you desperately pull your phone out of your pocket, texting Jungkook in hopes he could save you from this god forsaken torment they called a club.

  Minutes later, after Jungkook oh so gentlemanly told you to pick you up, you stood in front of that said location, waiting for his cheap but admittedly nice car to pull up. Sadly, someone else seemed to be way more intent on bringing you home- a young man your age, attractive, yes, but also heavily intoxicated. He had already eyed you up inside the building you noticed, yet hadn't made a move towards you. Now however, he seemed more determined than ever.

"Lets go home baby, I swear you won't regret-" He started, but you moved away from him, clenching onto your little handbag in order to at least keep your belongings safe if he tried anything else. Suddenly both your figures were drowned in the warm light of Jungkook's car lights- you immediately recognized them simply by the fact that one was brighter than the other, something you always told him, yet he always waved you off, telling you that both were doing just fine, even though his left light was clearly almost dead. Typical him, you thought. Yet right now, you couldn't be happier to see him.

He however, did not seem happy at all. His face was serious, his wavy hair hanging a little over his eyes, steps fast and strong enough that you could hear his black boots almost crush the slight gravel of the parking lot. "Fuck off sunnyboy and go back inside." He simply yelled out, having already seen how uncomfortable you were with the stranger so close to you. Jungkook wasn't someone to blindly punch someone, that said however, he couldn't contain himself once he saw the guy reaching out for your arm, your figure instinctively scrambling to get behind Jungkooks way larger body. He didn't even notice his fist connecting with the strangers face, simply leading you by the small of your back inside his car, driving home without any more words.

You were not to be touched by someone so dirty like this young man who didn't even knew his own limits it seemed.

Yet you were completely confused now. Maybe, if you were now the reason he got into physical fights, you should make a decision.

The next morning, sitting down at the kitchen table, you watched Jungkook filling your bowl with cereal as well- lucky charms for you, and chocolate chips for him. It became somewhat of a routine since you both woke up roughly around the same time, sharing breakfast was common. The best moment in your opinion to pop the bomb.

"I'm moving out." You said softly, fiddling with your fingers in your lap, leg nervously bouncing up and down. Why did this feel like you were breaking up with him? You both would've ended up going separate ways sooner or later anyways- so he would probably just nod, ask when, and that would be it. He was someone who didn't bother much. But the second you said it, he turned around completely shocked, suddenly very much awake.

"Why? Did I do something?" He asked, sounding genuinely offended for some reason you couldn't come up with. In his mind, scenario over scenario started to play, as if he wanted to search for something he may have said or done to make you so upset that you didn't want to live with him anymore. He knew he shouldn't be so upset over it, since you and him were merely roommates, friends who shared an apartment, nothing more, but he never really expected you to come up with it so sudden. Or maybe you had a boyfriend? What if it was Taehyung, and you just didn't tell him? He would rip that fucker's stupid blue hair out, he knew-

"No. I- not reall-" You sighed, setting your elbows on the kitchen table before letting your head fall into your hands. "Actually yes, you did." You started, looking at him, but unable to hold eye contact with the now completely confused curly haired boy in front of you. "You.. uh.. I cant sleep. Your, 'guests', the walls aren't really soundproof and like, I really- and just.. ugh this is so awkward, please don't make me say it-" You said, groaning the rest of your sentence before stubbornly shoving your back against the chair, throwing your legs back and forth viciously, reminding Jungkook of a kid who was close to throwing a tantrum. Even though this was definitely not the time to think about you laid out over his leg, his hand hitting your perfectly shaped butt until it was red just to punish you for being such a brat, exactly this picture began to form in the back of his head. He hated himself somehow, really. But somehow instead of accepting your decision, he moved to stand at the table, hands on top of it, eyes searching yours.

"Say it Y/N. You know I hate when I have to pull thing out your throat sweetheart." He didn't intend on using the nickname, but somehow he threw his hesitation out the window. If you really were fooling around with someone, someone who wasn't him he wanted to know- and even if you didn't share that information with him, you would move out anyways, so why hold back anymore? You shook your head at him, avoiding his gaze, and he clicked his tongue, patience slowly thinning out. "Spit it out." He said again, but he still got no reaction. His hand seemed to move without his consent when he suddenly found his fingers on your chin, moving your head to force your attention towards him. "Speak the fuck up, I swear to god." He said, voice dropping down lower, and somehow you seemed as if bewitched.

Maybe it was the way he stood there, how he still held your chin, or how intensely he looked at you, but words dropped out of your mouth as if you drank harry potters truth potion. "I cant stand that you let these girls touch you, that they can get you so easily and you just look past me a- and I really tried you know, because Taehyung said you liked mature girls more so I tried to do that, but he lied to me, you don't notice me at all, you're so mean you-" He shut your mouth with his mouth, trying to process the information he just received, yet it seemed like it was too much at once. You were.. jealous? And what kind of stupid advice was Taehyung giving away, that fucker? It was true that he liked his women to be confident and mature, but that was just so they knew what they were doing, and he didn't need to put so much effort into something he could get so easily.

"So you were jealous?" He said, a small smirk creeping up on him, cooing at you internally when you shook your head, face red. "If you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked. Geez." He said, but instead of being relieved, your shoulders sagged down. "What?" He asked, and you mumbled to him.

"Because I don't want just that one time stuff you do." Jungkook looked at you, eyes softening at your somehow-confession. He just put together the pieces in his head, and it did make sense. You were practically attached to him wherever he took you, always seemingly glowing whenever his attention was on you. He was as much as a dense head than you were, and he couldn't help but pull out a chair and sitting down, patting his legs as an invitation.

"Good, because I don't want that either. And I don't share either." He said, and looked at you gently, but with a deep darkness behind his eyes. "Trust me baby, you can sit down now and I promise you'll be the only one to have me- or you can move out and go on with your life." He almost laughed at the way it suddenly clicked in your head on what he was offering, suddenly jumping up and sitting on his thighs, legs on either side of his body. He looked down at you, a divine picture coming to life. His hands were placed on the exposed skin under your skirt, slowly sliding over the soft skin until his fingers felt the seam of your tights- those goddamn things he'd wanted to rip off of you so badly these past days. "You can touch me, you know?" He said lowly, and you noticed how awkward you must've looked for a second, seated on his lap with your hands in front of you, unsure where to put them. Just to ground yourself, your fingers began to play with his shirt, and he had to swallow the laugh that wanted to break free. "You don't have to do this, you know? I'm fine with waiting-" He began, but you immediately shook your head, however, at loss for words. He smiled again, dangerously so you noticed. His head dipped down, finally touching your skin on your neck with his lips, leaving open mouthed kisses under your earlobe down to the crook, hands moving over your clothes already mapping out your body in his mind, one hand pulling down one side of your soft fleece jacket you wore, pulling down your shirt as well, so he could softly nip at your shoulder, making you gasp oh so cutely at his actions. His hands didn't stop however, moving over your chest, kneading both of your breasts softly, as if he would hurt you if he used too much strength- which was probably the case. He already loved how bis his hands looked running over your body, how your hands held his shirt in fists, eyes closed, yet not because of fear; you looked serene to him, face showing him the soft pleasure you felt. He suddenly moved you a little, making you straddle one of his leg, core pushed against his thigh. "Let's start slow, yeah?" He asked, whispering words into your ear, lips never parting from you. He slowly began to move your hips, urging you to simply follow what you thought felt best to you. "Use me baby. Get off on my thigh." You whined at that, slowly starting to move more and more boldly, and he decided that he was officially a goner. Even if you didn't want him after whatever may be happening, he knew he could never go back. The way you squeezed your eyes shut every now and then, moving back and forth yet always a bit helpless, showing how inexperienced you were. He could feel the wet patch forming on his jeans, his hands moving you a bit faster, before you let your head fall onto his shoulder, making him chuckle. "What is it baby? Do you need help, hm?" He said, a bit mockingly even, and you nodded into his shoulder. "Tell me what you need then. What do you want, princess?" He said, running his hands over your back, feeling your bodyheat through your clothes.

"wanna get the same.. as the others.." You mumbled, unsure what you were even asking for. Jungkook however simply smiled, suddenly lifting you up, hands under your behind carrying you to his room, before finally letting you fall onto his mattress, laughing when your body jumped a little, making you squeak so cutely. He smiled, crawling over you, his fantasy finally coming to life- you looked so lost under him, so utterly defenseless he could swear he could feel something primal awake inside him- and that was not his dick, which already strained against his jeans, impatient.

"Ah but Baby.." He began, taking off your soft jacket before his hands traced your bare arms until he moved them under your shirt, feeling your skin underneath his fingers. "You're my special girl.." He began to lift your shirt up, helping you out of it before he got rid of your skirt as well, chuckling at your cute lacey underwear, which was so typically you. So innocent, yet so arousing, how you squirmed underneath him in nothing but those pastel colored undergarments. "And special girls get special treatments.." His words were low, soft spoken yet with a rough edge to his tone, a natural feature of his voice that you've come to love. You couldn't even begin to paint out a picture of what he was talking about- sure, you have seen your fair share of adult films, you weren't a kid after all- but up until this moment, up until you met Jungkook, you've never really thought about what you could like when it came to these things. Even in your thoughts you felt shy saying any profanities out loud, how could you expect to know about kinks? "But only if you can behave for me, but you can do that right?" He said, unhooking your bra behind your back with ease and interrupting your inner talk with yourself. "You'll be my good girl, yeah?" He said, and you just viciously nodded, already growing frustrated, and oh how he loved it. This was how he had pictured you. If he had known before that this was what it felt like to have control over someone, he would've never done anything else if he was honest; but then again, you really were a special girl to him. The way you suddenly mewled when his hand cupped your heat, giving you a little pressure just to tease you even further almost caught him off guard. God have mercy on his soul, you were so sensitive to him, and it dawned on him again that he was making you this way. He was the first to- and he would make sure he'd be the only one as well. All those noises tumbling out of between your lips were only his to hear. His breathing peaked up at the view he had, how you began to impatiently rut into his hand, needy for more than he was giving you. He leaned back, finally getting rid of his own clothes as well to your satisfaction, lazily throwing his opened flannel as well as his white shirt somewhere on the floor in his room, and you couldn't help but stare. Truth be told, you didn't really know what to expect of him if you were honest, his constant gym visits giving you the impression that he had to be extremely fit, yet his habit of consuming more than two cups of ramen easily spoke differently. He was, in your eyes, the perfect in-between- he definetely was fit, his abs visible to your eyes, yet he didn't look like those over-achievers you sometimes saw walking around the same gym whenever you met him there to go home together. The way his muscles flexed at every move when he loomed over you again made you want to touch him, yet your shy side forbade you. He chuckled again. "You can touch what's yours all you want, you know?" He said, before he began to place his hand back onto your chest, his breath hot on your collarbone where he placed his kisses again, already hooked on your taste. His other, tattooed hand found its way back to your core, feeling the dampness there with amusement. You were more than what he'd imagined. Slowly he got rid of that barrier however, leaving your tights on for his own pleasure and maybe also for the aesthetic of it, his digits circling around your sensitive bud, making you squeal again, putting your hands over your mouth to keep your voice down. He clicked his tongue at this, moving them to lay right under the small of your back. "Be good and keep them there, yeah?" He said, and you looked away.

"But its- thats emb-" You couldn't even finish the beginning of your rant before he went back to his task at hand, sitting back before moving your legs to spread obscenely over his thighs simply to catch a glimpse of your glistening center, before he placed his body over yours again, hand now roughly circling in delicious eights around your clit, making you gasp out.

"Nothing you do is embarrassing, you hear me. If anything its fucking hot how you can be so fucking adorable even with my hand between your legs, doll." He said, before dipping a finger into you, making you move a bit at the foreign feeling. "Gotta stretch you out babygirl.." He said lowly, careful not to get too fast. His second finger joined in, and he could feel how tight you were around them, already clenching a bit as well, making his mouth water, but also growing a bit of worry in the back of his mind. Usually he was quite cocky about his overly average qualities down in his pants, but now he was genuinely concerned to hurt you with it. This was definitely a first for him. "Baby you're so small.. I don't think you can take it.." He said, a bit of a teasing undertone to his words as well. "See? You're already squeezing my fingers so hard princess, how could my dick ever fit inside huh?" He said, contrary to his otherwise rough nature keeping his movements gentle and slow enough for you to adjust without causing much pain. He could see the slight discomfort in your eyes, yet you suddenly shook your head, voice whiny.

"Uh-uh.." You mumbled, and he laughed a bit at that. "can take it.." You said bratty as ever, feeding his ego to no ends. "Wanna have it- you.. you gon' give it right? 'm good.." You said, having troubles keeping your hands under your back just like he told you to, grabbing the sheets underneath you instead to have something to keep yourself grounded.

Jungkook couldn't stop smiling. You didn't even know what you were asking for, yet you seemed so drowned in trust with him, that you simply gave him the right to do anything he wanted with you. "You sure?" He said, and smiled at the way you nodded again with your eyes closed. He moved away after that, shedding his pants before he walked over to his bedside table, fishing out a condom, before moving back to you, your eyes now on him, or more than that, on his very apparent bulge his boxers failed to conceal. Maybe you really did ask for more than you could take. Quite literally. Sensing your growing uneasiness he simply discarded his underwear, cock finally springing free, slapping soundlessly against his abdomen before he sat between your legs again. You made grabby hands for the foil package in his hands, somehow wanting to slip it onto him, yet he shook his head amused. "Nuh-uh baby. I'm afraid if you touch me right now I'll just embarrass myself and come straight away." He said, and you giggled at that. The sound of it brought him back at ease, his little joke having helped to calm you down at least a little bit. He knew this was a big thing, especially for someone like you- and it made him feel even a bit pressured if he was honest. He was slow when he dipped his head inside, your body instinctively trying to move away a bit, but you forced yourself to stay still, eyes now pressed close. Moving around a bit he kept one hand around the base of himself, the other steadying himself next to your shoulder, kissing you on your lips for the first time since you both started, surprising you enough to not notice how he somehow began to glide into you with the help of your arousal and the lubricant of the condom around him. He groaned, the first actual noise he'd made you could tie to his pleasure, and your breathing picked up once you noticed how full you felt. Gasping several times he suddenly started to laugh, making you giggle as well, even though you didn't knew what was so funny in that situation. "God- ugh.. your- fuck you're tight.." He pressed out, fighting hard against his hips' own mind yelling at him to move, to wreck you, to utterly ruin you. But he couldn't allow himself to do that- reassuring himself that he would have time for that at a later date. He slowly started to move around after he calmed down enough, keeping his speed down to keep it gentle for you. "I- fuck.." He started, having to talk to stretch his patience out, and to also ease your mild pain a little bit. "Let's- ugh.. Let's go on a date tomorrow, yeah? I.. god-" He said, and you nodded, moaning in your delicate pitch he oh so loved. "Gonna be all romantic and shit- fuck- gonna treat you like- for Mcdonald's or some shit." He said, making you both laugh between gasps of pleasure, your hands suddenly frantically moving around the sheets, legs shaking as he began to speed up his pace. You didn't knew what an orgasm would feel like, or how you knew you would have one, but you gasped, chocking on unshed tears in frustration as you noticed that you couldn't tumble over that delicious edge, and Jungkook noticed, cooing at you. "Ah, my baby can't come without her little clit being touched?" He said, kissing the side of your neck, biting the skin teasingly before sucking a hickey on your collarbone, his hands now grabbing yours, fingers intertwining with his, before moving them around his neck, sensing how you wanted to be closer to him, even though that hardly seemed possible. "Come for me baby, you can do it." He said, kissing your shoulder as if to make up for his mark he'd left, his hand now reaching between your bodies, only needing to put a bit of pressure on your little nub to send you flying. You moaned out loud, uncaring on how you sounded, clinging onto him for dear life, his own release making him groan out as well.

He could feel your body trembling, your breathing still fast. He waited for a moment or two for himself to soften up so he could pull out gently- your still slightly clenching hole almost pushing his dick out of yourself. You whined at the empty feeling, and he hushed you gently, moving around so he was sitting up against his headboard, your body on his lap, head on his shoulder. His hand moved back and forth over your spine, the other keeping your body steadily against him. "You did so, so good baby." He gently whispered between your breaths still coming out a little faster than they should. "To be honest I actually was kind of worried you wouldn't be able to take it. I'm impressed princess." He said, making you giggle. You still weren't quite back yet, still bathing in your own afterglow, and he simply waited for you to calm down- slowly becoming aware of your surroundings again.

"Hey, Jungkookie.." You started with that nickname Taehyung always teased him with, yet you would get away with it anytime on his watch. He simply moved his head to look at you, even if you weren't at him. "Did you.. like, mean it? Are we.. a couple now, or?" You started a bit too softly, yet you didn't have to be scared of his answer to that.

He took a deep breath, before yawning a bit. "If you want us to be. I know I want to." He started, brushing some hair away from your eyes. You looked at him, big eyes so innocent like he didn't just fuck you into his mattress literally minutes ago.

"I want to!" You immediately said, making him chuckle and place a kiss on your nose, receiving a giggle at that, before you tensed up. He raised his eyebrows at that, before you looked at him surprised. "My legs are all- tingly.. Jungkook did you break me- HEY don't laugh!" You said, but he couldn't help himself.

He threw his head back, laughing his admittedly cute open laugh, before wrapping his arms around your body. "God I love you." He simply said, making you smile.

"Hey Jungkookie?" You said after a bit.

"Yeah Princess?" He answered.

"That McDonald's date still stands, right?" You said with a small voice, making him snort.

"Anything you want princess. Anything you want."

Taglist:

@mrcleanheichou @sugasbratz @sassysaxsolo @bananagukkie @wh3resangel @urmomgee

[dubersbutt]

4 Times Leon Joined You and Connor

+ 1 Time He Stayed

Summary: How you, Leon and Connor became a thing

Warnings: smut (oral (female receiving, male receiving, penetrative sex), mlm sex (blowjobs)), sexuality crises (sexuality procrastination)

1) The “Accidents”

Leon gets your text message a second too late. The notification with your name and “DON'T OPEN MY SNAP” hanging above the picture of your scantily clad torso, matching royal purple set, the deep colour complimenting your tan skin. Leon is torn between wanting to be respectful and wanting to keep the picture open until he can get himself off. But, he’s a good dude so he does not do the latter. Instead, he closes the snap and texts you back

Leon: Whoops. I didn’t get your message until after I opened it

You: Ugh. I’m sorry, your name is right under Connor’s and my finger slipped.

Leon: Aren’t you supposed to be at school.

You: Stats are boring. I was trying to bother my boyfriend.

Leon: Pay attention in class, (Y/N).

You: 🙄

You: You can keep the picture btw. I know I look good

You: No face, no case

Leon doesn’t keep it but, his finger hovers over the replay button for far too long.

~~~

Leon’s furnace craps out on him halfway into the season, and Alberta winters without heaters isn’t very enjoyable so he temporarily moves in with Connor, the day of the charity gala. Leon has a good time for the most part. Except -

He can’t get that fucking picture out of his head. And your dress hugs you in all the right places and he really hopes that neither you or Connor notice that how often he looks over at you. Connor has to rub elbows with the rich donor more than Leon does, so he keeps you company in between rounds. The two of you keep yourselves entertained by comping up with potential conversations for the other people in the room.

“Leon wait,” you say, clutching his arm and Leon feels his heart skip a beat, “That girl is his daughter, not his sugar baby.”

“No,” Leon was convinced, they were sitting way too close if that were true, “How do you know?”

You point to an older lady that’s approaching the table. She leans down to give the man a quick kiss and Leon’s about to propose a potential mistress until he realizes the girl looks like a younger version of the older woman.

“Shit,” he says and you look at him with wide eyes, “We’re going to hell.”

“We totally deserve it too.”

An hour later, Leon is excusing himself from a conversation with Klefbom and an older lady. She hardly notices, her attention has been focused on Oscar the whole time. Oscar tries to get him to stay but Leon thinks her not-so-subtle flirtation is hilarious.

He laughs when he gets the “I’m gonna fucking kill you” text from Oscar on the way to the bathroom.

Leon: I don’t like being the third wheel

Leon: Make sure she’s not married, klef. You’d be a terrible mistress

Oscar: I would be the best mistress in the history of mistresses.

When Leon opens the door to the bathroom he’s met with the sound of moans. He supposes he should have shut the door right then and there but he opens it all the way without realizing. He’s met with the sight of Connor fucking you on the sink. Your nails are digging into his back as Connor fucks you. He’s frozen for a moment, can’t remember how to move his limbs until you meet his eyes. He’s fairly certain you smile at him but he’s also convinced he imagined it. He replays your moans and tiny whimpers in his head.

He’s not even surprised when he wakes up the next morning and the girl next to him looks a little like you when he squints.

~~~

A week later he’s coming home from a run, the weather had warmed up enough for a short 15 minute jog before he had to pack for the California road trip. He lets himself in through Connor’s garage door, taking off his snowy boots in the mudroom. He takes his earbuds out, pocketing them when he hears -

“I - fuck, don’t tease me.”

Not again.

Now, Leon is kind of annoyed. He texted Connor that he was on his way home, had given him ample time to move to his bedroom. And Leon has to pass the living room to get to the guest room.

“You’re such a brat,” he hears Connor say and the next thing that comes out of his mouth is a loud groan.

Leon has to start packing, they need to be at the airport in an hour. He tries to make his appearance quick and minimal but he meets Connor’s eyes. He mouths, sorry as he picks up the pace, but Connor doesn’t seem to mind. His face is flushed, and his chest is rising and falling quickly. Connor winks at him. Winks.

When he finally makes it to his room he slumps against the walk, leaving the door open a crack so he can hear Connor’s moans. He can’t help it anymore, he pulls the waistband of his pants down, gripping his dick. He has to bite down on his hand to keep his moans at bay. He cums in unison with Connor, using his moans to guide him to finish.

He stands there for a moment, hands sticky with cum listening to Connor praise you through the crack in the door.

~~~

Leon doesn’t make a habit of picking up men during the season. You can never know who's secretly a hockey fan wanting to sell Leon’s bisexuality to the tabloids. Hell, only like 4 people on the team knew. But Anaheim doesn’t have a huge hockey presence so he takes a chance. He gets out of team movie night under the guise of an upset stomach.

Instead, he Ubers to the nearest gay bar. The place is pretty packed when he gets there. He orders a drink and notices a floppy haired blond guy across from him. He’s a little too scrawny to pass as Connor, but Leon’s not asking for perfection. He asks the bartender to send over another of whatever he’s having before he makes his way over to him. Not-Connor’s name is Josh, and they hit off right away.

Soon, Leon’s pushing not-Connor up against the bathroom wall, grinding against him. Not-Connor gets down on his knees and sucks Leon off. It doesn’t take long until Leon’s shooting down his throat with a hand in his thick hair. He starts to get down so he can reciprocate, his jaw is gonna kill him tomorrow but he’s not an asshole, when not-Connor stops him.

“If you want, we can go to mine and you can fuck me,” he says, biting his lip.

Leon’s already forgotten his name, but he says yes anyway.

Not Connor is really fucking flexible, letting Leon hook his legs over his shoulders when he fucks him in missionary. They stop for a quick snack in the kitchen before Leon bends him over the counter and fucks him until tears form in the corner of his eyes.

Leon’s half an hour late for curfew, but no one says anything to him.

2) The Vacation

Don’t get him wrong, Leon is always honoured to be invited to All-Star weekend. However, if he had the choice of being interviewed for two days straight or sitting on a beach in california for a week, he probably wouldn’t put too much though into his decision.

But, he still had 4 days of vacation in Palm Springs with the team before he and Connor had to leave early. Connor had asked him if he wanted to split the cost of the penthouse suite, and because Leon’s room was on the other side of suite as yours and Connor’s room, he said yes.

They left for California as soon as their last game ended, leaving them too tired to party the first night, choosing to order room service instead. Leon gets a plate of honey garlic chicken wings, 12 of them to himself, spaghetti, and a slice of cheesecake because, fuck it, he’s on vacation.

When it arrives, he snatches the plate of wings before Connor could take one, he had a bad habit of saying he didn’t want stuff and then asking for a few bites. Normally, Leon doesn’t care but he’s been craving wings for weeks. Why did he choose the career with the strict diet regimen?

“You’re really not gonna share?” Connor asks, eyebrow raised.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the ‘p’ and sinking his teeth into his second one.

“You have 12!”

“No one was stopping you from ordering your own.”

Leon feels your eyes on him. He assumes it's because he’s foregone any and all manners. The sticky sauce on the wings coat his fingers, he can feel it in his beard but he does not care because they’re so good. He doesn’t care that he’s gone full barbarian-

“Leon do you want to have a threesome with us?” you ask and Leon chokes on a piece of chicken.

“What?” He nearly drops his wing, “Right now?”

Connor’s groans and runs a hand through his hair in exasperation, “This is not how we said we would ask him.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t explain it,” you giggle and gesture at how he’s hunched over his wings, “but this is doing it for me?”

“Really?” Leon asks incredulously and Connor looks at you in disbelief.

“I wish I could say it didn’t.”

Leon squints at you and Connor, “You’re serious about this?”

“Yeah,” You both respond.

“We’ve been discussing adding a third,” Connor asks, “We were going to ask when you weren’t beasting a plate of wings - I admire your ability to eat during a conversation, by the way - but someone can’t keep it in their pants.”

You shrug, taking a bite from your burger.

Leon contemplates it, eating his 8th wing in the meantime.

“Sure,” he says, starting his 9th, “But not tonight. I don’t feel sexy after I eat spaghetti.”

You laugh, “Leon, if you had to choose between only sex or only food which would it be?”

“Food,” he says with no hesitation, or regrets.

~~~

The next day Leon spends baking in the sun. Everybody had decided to spend the day in the attached private pool in the suit. He chirps Connor when his skin starts to burn about an hour into the day and pokes at his red shoulder when he joins Connor under the umbrella.

By the end of the day Leon is pleasantly tipsy, saying goodbye to the team as he lounges on the couch. When the door shuts, you settle yourself in his lap. Your skin is warm from the heat.

Your sheer white swimsuit coverup has been driving Leon insane for the past two hours the team has been in the suite. Although, seeing you in your bikini, watching the water glint off your tan skin as Connor splashed you with the water, was far worse.

“Hi,” you hum, leaning in, “You still down for this?”

“Of course.”

You kiss him, letting out a groan as you do so. Leon rests his hands on your thighs, and when you don’t rebuke him he slides them up, dragging your cover up with him. His fingers toy with the band of your suit bottoms. He pulls away from your mouth, instead kissing along your jaw, scraping his beard against your skin gently. Normally, he wouldn’t be so bold, but, when you first started dating Connor, he told Leon that he started to grow his beard out because you enjoyed the scratch on your skin. He pays attention to the places that draw tiny gasps or moans from you, noting them for later.

“I should have known that the two most impatient people in my life wouldn’t wait for me,” Connor says, holding your jaw to kiss you. Leon doesn’t miss the way your body goes limp against him when Connor’s fingers tighten ever so slightly.

“I wouldn’t have pegged you as a sub,” Leon hums, pulling your cover up all the way over your head. “She’s not,” Connor interjects, helping Leon with his task, “She’s a brat, but she’s pretty.”

“You’re mean,” you respond, “Should we move to the bedroom?”

Connor pulls you up, off his lap. Leon thinks that he’s just going to lead you, but Connor picks you up. You pull him closer with your legs, grunting as Connor settles you and starts walking to the master bedroom. Leon has to stop himself running after you.

Leon takes two minutes to get there, stopping for a quick glass of water. Two minutes is all it takes for Connor to fuck you from behing. Leon takes a minute, scanning his eyes over the two of you. Connor looks over and winks at him and Leon gets that same pang in his heart again. He stops, and you let out a whine in protest, pushing your hips back against him.

“Take her mouth,” Connor says, nodding towards the empty spot on the bed.

“For the record, I’m not thrilled that you’re bossing me around,” he says but obliges, pulling his swim shorts off on the way there.

He gives himself a few pumps before you reach over and take over, “You can put your hand in my hair,” you say, before you wrap your lips around the tip.

Connor’s hand slides along your spine, lightly dragging his nails as you start to bob your head, taking Leon deeper each time.

“Should we link arms in true Eiffel Towel fashion?”

~~~

Leon thought it was going to be a one-time thing, but the next morning he wakes up with your throat on his dick, and he can hear the shower running. By the time Connor’s back in the room, you’re cuming on Leon’s cock as he spills into the condom.

“You asshats,” Connor says, water dripping down abs, “I leave for five minutes.”

“You take the longest showers known to man, Con,” you tease, accepting his kiss.

That day the team planned on going to go sightseeing, but Leon makes the excuse of finding a girl at the hotel bar last night. Connor says that the two of you are going to take advantage of the empty penthouse. And you do. The next day, during the team hike, the three of you lag behind the rest, too exhausted to keep up.

~~~

Leon thinks that when they land in San Jose for the All Star game, that it’s the end, and he’s almost sad about it. But at the end, Connor and him get the same snap. You lifting up your McDavid jersey to reveal a lacey, navy blue bodysuit. The V dips tantalizingly low, Leon wants to lick the exposed skin and feel your body squirm against his as he teases you. He and Connor change faster than Leon thought was possible, and soon he’s upstairs in yours and Connors room. Connor fucks you first, not giving you quite enough to cum as he finishes, filling you. As Leon’s rolling on the condom, Connor’s whispering in his ear - don’t let her cum.

So Leon fucks you  slowly. Holding both of your hands in one of his palms, he takes his time. His thrusts are rhythmic, as he grinds into you, watching your face contort. He rubs your clit, feeling the way you clench around him. He pushes you to the edge and waits  before pulling out entirely. He rests his dick on your stomach, pulling off the condom as he cums on your stomach.

3) The Dinner

Connor gets sick from the WEM signing in February. (Whoever decided to have the Oiler’s star player do a fan signing with a thousand people in the middle of flu season needs to be fired but that’s besides the point.) Because of this, he can’t go to the Nuge’s team bonding dinner but he insists that you still come, the other girls would miss you.

So you go, and you press up against Leon every once in a while during drinks. At dinner, you sit next to him, keeping a hand on his thigh at all times. Your hand moves onto his inseam as you spoon risotto into your mouth. While Nuge and Bre are handing out deserts, you lead him down a hallway.

“Hold on...aha!” you push open a door, leading to a guest room. The bed is made, and there’s a picture of Nuge’s dog on the bedside table. You turn the picture down, “I don’t want Sophie to see what we’re about to do.”

“(Y/N), What about Connor?” he asks. Leon has spent the night with you and Connor multiple times since coming home, and he’s fucked you many times but Connor’s always been there.

“Connor doesn’t care,” you say, pushing him down on the bed, “He said it was fine. We can FaceTime him if you want.”

Leon doesn’t think you’re lying, but he does enjoy watching Connor bite his lip as he watches Leon fuck you from behind. He’s got a terrible angle, can’t really see much but just the sounds of you and Leon make him groan into the phone. You end the cal with a quick “I love you.”

“You coming over tonight?” you ask when you and Leon finished getting dressed.

“Obviously.”

Everyone’s tipsy enough that they hadn’t noticed the two of you were gone.

When Leon comes over that night it’s the first time he gets his hands in Connor. He’s just finished fucking you - he’d quickly become the one to call the shots when he was around - and Connor was watching him pound into uou with wide eyes, fists clenched at his side like he was told.

Leon had spent a number of nights with you and Connor by now, but he figured Connor wasn’t into men so he didn’t push it. But this time it was different, he didn’t know why, but it was.

Leon knee-walks over to him, planting his legs on either side of Connor’s thighs. He doesn’t kiss him, doesn’t know if that’s too much, but he slides his hand up the length of them.

Giving a handy for the first time is always a little bit awkward, Leon actually has to pay attention to what they do and do not like, but with Connor it’s easier. It’s still a little awkward, he accidentally squeezes Connor’s base a little too hard and he crumpled against him, but it’s significantly better.

(Later that week you’d have a conversation with Connor.

“You know I don’t mind if you wanna do stuff with Leo when you’re gone right?”

“What?”

“If you want to. You don’t have to but you seemed like you really enjoyed Leo’s hands the other day. Not that I blame you for that.”)

4) The Roadie

Leon isn’t expecting anyone to knock on his hotel door. He’s surprised when it’s Connor there. He’s antsy, cracking his knuckles.

“Hey,” he says, furrowing his brows at Connor’s uneasy demeanour, “everything okay?”

“Everything’s great,” Connor replies, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Do you wanna come in?”

“Wh-oh yeah sure,” he stutters like he didn’t realize that he was still outside.

Leon lets him in, and Connor walks to the chair on the other side of the room, but doesn’t sit. Leon eyes him as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“So I talked to (Y/N),”  Connor starts.

“And…” Leon prompts.

“She said that if we wanted to mess around together on roadies then that’s fine with her,” he takes a deep breath “andivebeenthinkingaboutitandiwannatrymaybebutivenever-”

“Woah woah woah,” Leon stops him, “You’re going to have to repeat that way slower.”

“I was thinking that, if you’re down, then maybe I would be willing to try it?” he trails off at the end.

“Connor?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

“Maybe,” Connor takes another deep breath, “I mean I’ve never done anything with a dude before, but I kinda liked it the other day. But like, only if you want to.”

“We can fool around on roadies,” picking up is so much work, Leon would love to have a steady side piece - even though he doesn't have a main piece, “Since when were you into dudes.”

Connor rubs a hand over his face, “Don’t start with me. I’ve been having an ongoing sexuality crisis for a while. I love women, (Y/N) especially, but we’re tabling this conversation for, like a year.”

“Just one thing,” he says, finally sitting down on the bed next to him, “I don’t want you to….fuck me just yet.”

Leon wants to laugh, Connor’s so straight that it hurts, “Gay sex isn’t like straight sex, there’s a process. And, I don’t want to brag, but if I were to fuck you, you wouldn’t be able to walk for a week and you’re kind of important to the team.”

“So...you’re a bottom,” Leon teases, poking him in the shoulder.

“I think so? Obviously I won’t really know until I try it but I see the appeal….what are you?”

Leon does laugh at that, “ I usually top but I don’t mind taking it every once in a while.”

Connor nods, which Leon finds adorable. The last time Leon dealt with any kind of virginity was when he was losing his own (both times), and he’s kind of excited.

Connor leans in, kissing Leon softly. Leon pushes against them, hand coming up to card through Connor’s hair. A few moments later, he pulls away.

“What’s the verdict?” Leon asks.

“Your beard feels weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird,” Leon didn’t have a 5 step beard oil routine for it to feel bad.

“Good weird.”

Leon hums in approval. Connor leans back in, and this time Leon pushes him down on the bed and Connor lets him. He lets Leon trail kisses down his neck, chest heaving off the bed once Leon gets that spot at his jawbone that drives him crazy.

“You good?” Leon asks as he lowers himself between Connor’s spread legs. Connor nods, “If you’re uncomfortable, tell me and we stop.”

He takes Connor’s dick out of his shorts, only mildly surprised when he realizes Connor’s not wearing any underwear. He licks his lips as he starts to jack him off. Connor lets out a breathy moan as Leon drops his hound to the base of his cock a with a gentle squeeze. Leon leans forward, sucking on the head gently as he watches Connor’s face turn red. Leon bobs his head down, taking more down his throat each time. Leon digs his fingers into Connor’s hips to keep them down.

“Easy, baby,” Leon murmurs, not realizing the nickname was on the tip of his tongue until it had slipped out, “It’s been a while, you’re gonna have to give me a second before you fuck my throat.”

“ ‘M sorry,” Connor says, panting.

“It’s okay, Con,” Leon responds, reaching for Connor’s  hand and placing it in his hair.

“Fuuck, Leo,” Connor grunts when Leon starts to suck on his head.

Leon finds a good rhythm, bobbing his head low and hollowing his lips as he comes up. Connor is groaning, Leon should probably tell him to keep his voice down given that they’re surrounded by the team but he doesn’t care.

Leon drops his dick, until the very tip of his cock, and sucks. Connor grunts, thrusting up into Leon’s hands before Leon starts to slide his hand up and down quickly, bringing Connor to the edge.

“Close,” he pants, “I-close, Leo, plea-”

Leon sinks his head down one more time before Connor hits the back of his throat. He sputters a little as Connor keeps spilling into his mouth. He feels a little bit dribble out, and when he finally pulls off, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“How was that?” Leon asks, tucking Connor’s soft dick under the waistband of his shorts.

Connor has a hand thrown over his face, and his only answer is a groan. Leon can’t help but laugh.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I know my head game is strong.”

(Connor tries to give Leon a blowjob, but he gets a little too ambitious and chokes a few bobs in. Connor sputters and coughs, and Leon can’t help but chuckle as Connor grips his thighs, trying to catch his breath. He wants to try again but Leon stops him.

“You’ve done a lot today, you can try again later if you want to.”

“No, no I can do it.”

Leon explains that he doesn’t want Connor to bite his dick and Connor relaxes, giving him a hanjob instead. His pressure is a little light, so Leon wraps his hand around Connor’s and guides him until Leon finishes all over his stomach.

(Connor hesitantly runs a finger through the mess, before slowly raising his finger to his lips. He scrunches his nose in disgust. “Drink some pineapple juice, ugh.” and Leon laughs)

Connor leaves shortly after, and Leon definitely doesn’t replay the moment over and over again in his head.)

+ 1) The One Time he Stayed

When Leon pulls up into Connor’s driveway, he’s expecting the usual: play with Lenny, threesome, play with Lenny, dinner, play with Lenny, maybe round two, decide if he wants to drive home at 3 am (the answer is most likely no).

However, when he shows up Connor isn’t even home, which is not normal. Lenard throws himself at Leon when he walks through the door, knocking him down on the floor.

“One of these days he’s gonna be successful in his assination attempts,” you joke from your place on the couch.

“There are worse ways to die,” he says as he gets back on his feet, this time ready for Lenny’s high energy. Eventually Lenny decides Leon is not worth his time, padding off to his bed by the fireplace, so Leon sits by you on the couch.

“Watchya reading?” he asks, poking you in the side.

“My textbook detailing the different types and phases of psychosis,” you say,  capping your highlighter.

“Hm,” Leon grunts, “Uplifting.”

“Very,” you place the book on the coffee table, “So Connor was telling me about your hook up on the roadie.”

Leon’s heart stops, “Connor said it was okay and you seduced me at Nuge’s so I assumed-”

“Leon, relax” you cut him off with a chuckle, “I’m not mad.”

Leon lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“And I did not seduce you at Nuge’s.”

“You led me down a hallway I’ve never been in just to have sex with me in their guest bedroom,” he raises an eyebrow, “that’s the definition of seducing.”

You mutter something that Leon can’t decipher under his breath which he knows means that he’s won this argument.

“Anyways,” you say, clearing your throat, ““Connor was gonna be here, but he had an appointment and now he’s stuck on the Henday but he’ll be here soon. We were talking and we were thinking, only if you wanted to, that maybe you could join us...as a couple.”

Leon isn’t sure he understands your proposal.

“What?”

“Would you like to join me and Connor as a third?” you ask, “If you don’t want you can leave before Connor comes home and we’ll never bring it up again.”

~~~

Later that day, when Leon is falling asleep with Connor on one side of him using his chest as a pillow and you’re on his other side tucked against him, he’ll think about what a strange road it was to get here. Connor’s already asleep, listening to Leon’s heartbeat as his head rises and falls on with Leon’s breath.

“So was this always the plan?” Leon asks when he feels you tracing something on his skin.

“Hm?” you question.

“Was this all an elaborate ploy to get me to join you and Connor?” he clarifies, “Because if so, kudos because I never expected.”

“No,” Connor mumbles against Leon’s chest, turns out he wasn’t asleep, “We didn’t expect to ask you to join us more than once in California but you’re too damn cute.”

“I never thought we would because I didn’t think Davo was into dudes,” you say, “We get any closer to an answer on the sexuality thing, Con?”

“We’ll get there when we get there.”

[psychdelia]

max hadn’t meant to let it slip. she and robin were talking about crushes - because god knows that girl needs regular girl talk after all the shit she’s been through - about how lucas and dustin both liked max and how steve liked robin. the conversation shifted onto billy, who was still in a coma.

he had gotten a better. he started breathing on his own and was showing signs of brain activity. his fingers have twitched and slightly raised off the bed, but he still hasn’t woken up. steve and robin visit, but mostly because max begged them to after the doctor had told her that having visitors around his own age and hearing about topics more in his scope, like college and music, was probably better for him than hearing the party talk about d&d and arcade games. so they visited a couple times a week.

his hair had gotten longer since july. and curlier. less product alongside the nurses constantly brushing it out made his hair soft. sometimes she caught steve twirling the blonde curls around his finger, other times she found him running his hand from his scalp down to his ends. on rare occasions he was cupping billy’s cheek, thumb running over the scar below his eye before moving down to swipe over his bottom lip. she didn’t interrupt him when she found him like that, instead snuck back out. he looked a lot younger, too. less muscly and angry. without the scowl and constant jaw clench, he looked more at ease. she figured steve liked him better like this. soft and silent. she wasn’t sure if he’d revert back to his old ways when he woke up.

“i think lucas and dustin both liked me before he met suzie. they acted like creeps. always watching me.” she reminisced with a chuckle.

“steve confessed his love to me after puking our guts out in the starcourt bathroom when the russians drugged us.”

“i don’t know which is more romantic.” max joked. robin laughed. max was 100% her favorite little shit.

“steve’s always been a bit of a romantic. he would always spin nancy around in the hall. i hope he finds someone soon.” robin shrugged. “we both can’t be single losers forever.”

“billy was always jealous of nancy.” max snorted. “he would stare at her in the school parking lot and get mad whenever i asked.”

max was smiling fondly but it dropped in a second. she paled, her eyes growing wide when she saw robin’s confused expression. broke eye contact immediately.

“why was billy jealous of nancy wheeler?” robin frowned, confused.

“i-i meant jealous of steve.” max tried pathetically. winced at her forced tone.

“max. why was billy jealous of nancy?” robin tried again, tone soft.

max looked about two seconds away from either screaming out of rage or crying. she’s a lot like her brother, robin noted.

“he likes steve.” max blurted.

robins eyes widened as she stared at the teenager. billy hargrove, school manwhore, lady killer, king of hawkins both in and out of girl’s skirt, is-

“billy’s gay?”

“you can’t tell anyone.” max began to plead. “i wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, he made me promise. i promised i wouldn’t. not after-“ she looked up at robin. “robin please don’t tell anyone. not even steve. he can’t know. no one can.”

“but what about may and holly and-and jessica?” robin asked. “are you sure he’s not bisexual?”

max shook her head. “he just uses girls as a cover. i dont think he’s ever really... been with one.” she shrugged weakly. “i know he’s been with boys back home but his dad found out and went crazy and hurt billy really bad and.” a shaky exhale. “now we’re here.”

everyone knew about billy’s dad. max had a small meltdown when he showed up to the hospital and started screaming, telling him to get out and leave billy alone. everyone knew about neil hurting billy, but no one knew why. except now robin did.

“oh.” robin exhaled. “i won’t tell anyone.” she promised. “this stays between us, okay?” a pause. “i’m, um. i’m like billy, max.” she rubbed the back of her neck. “if anyone knows how to keep a secret, it’s me kid.”

the relief and shock on max’s face was comical.

“you - oh.” she nodded. “is that why you and steve never-“

“yeah.” robin nodded. “billy might’ve been jealous of nancy but. i was jealous of steve. tammy thompson kept staring at the doof.” she rolled her eyes. “he said she sings like a muppet. can you believe that?” max laughed.

**

steve had gone to billy’s room alone tonight. he felt bad asking robin to eat dinner with him or accompany him to visit billy after they’d visited for the past couple days. but he didn’t feel like being alone and he’ll take a sleeping billy hargrove over being lonely. but when he got to the room he heard a familiar voice. robin. she sounded like she was about to cry. or she already was.

“god, you asshole, just wake up already.” she huffed. “i was talking to max earlier and she kinda let something slip and. if i had just known then maybe you wouldn’t have been so alone.”

steve knew it was wrong to stand by the door and listen in, but he was never exactly one for tight morals. he couldn’t help but wonder what she was talking about.

“i know hawkins fucking sucks for people like us but i’m here now. and so is max and steve and joyce and everyone else. your dad is a piece of shit but you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

steve frowned. “people like us”? what does she mean by that?

“max misses you. she reminds us of you, just not as mean.” she laughed. “at least to me. she’s a little shit to everyone else and i’m pretty sure she learned that from you but she’s pretty cool. she’d be cooler without always worrying about you, though. she’s quieter now. sometimes she goes silent and it’s like her mind is somewhere else and we all know she’s thinking of you.”

a pause.

“i think steve likes you too. if you would just wake the hell up we could all be friends. we’d be such a badass trio, dude, imagine.” a soft chuckle. “but. maybe you guys could be.. more.” a sigh. “i think he’s like us but he just seems.. confused? i don’t think he knows what he’s feeling. he’s like david bowie, i’m pretty sure. likes both.”

oh. that’s what she meant. like us.

“i know he likes you, though. he’s always touching you. he doesn’t think i see when he plays with your hair or touches your face. sometimes he touches your mouth and, fortunately for you, hargrove, i don’t think that’s straight guy behavior. i wonder if you can feel him. i hope you can.”

a sniffle, then a hushed, “i just want you guys to be happy.” a shaky exhale. “you both deserve to be happy. billy, you deserve better. you deserve more. god, you better be listening to me, dipshit. this is the nicest i’ll ever be to you, even after you wake up. which better be soon, i’m losing my patience with you.” a watery laugh.

then the room goes eerily silent. steve is about a second away from walking in when he hears,

“holy shit, hargrove, are you crying?”

steve peaks inside as quietly as humanly possible, finds a panicking robin standing above a sleeping billy with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“you’re in there.” robin laughs. “holy shit, you’re really in there. stuck inside that head under all that fucking nice and unexpectedly soft hair that you really don’t deserve. jesus, fuck.” shes rubbing at her cheeks before gently wiping his wet ones.

“you just gotta wake up, now, man. chop chop.”

**

steve’s there when billy wakes up about a week later. robin was sitting with max on one side of the bed and steve beside billy on the other in his usual seat, holding billy’s hand not-so-subtly and watching jeopardy.

billy weakly squeezed steve’s hand, a barely there thing. wide brown found tired blue, softness in steve’s eyes.

robin and max stared at billy, eyes wide in shock.

“hey, asshole,” robin greeted with a smirk. she nodded towards his and steve’s interlinked hands.

“told you so.”

she cackles at the tired and weak yet fierce and deadly glare billy sends her way.

[randomestpersononearth]

Actual Impressions of Team Elf

(Part 2)

The remix.

Taura - I don't know what is going on with Mrs. Moo Moo, but it's kinda weird. Um she can do ghost stuff, which is cool, but I don't know why she joined Team Elf. I think it's because she wanted to get back at the Zodiac, but I don't think that is the best way to go through with that. She has some interesting fashion choices, because she doesn't really wear a shirt the whole series but that's ok. No shame to the shirtless.

Isou - For some reason, I like Isou. It's weird, he is an evil jackass, who almost endangered the two prettyest best friends ever (Nadeshiko and Sofia) but I just don't wanna go strangle him like I wanna go strangle Elf. He has the ability to be super fake, like a mean Kindergarten teacher to your parents. And I enjoy that personality trait. Also he seems at on his last nerve most of the time. So do I like this guy's actions, fuck no! But do I like all of the other parts of him that don't suck, kinda! Him compared to Elf and the Man with the Scar, he isn't much.

Elf - why isn't there any semis on route to this guy's face, am I right. Literally this guy sucks more than anyone ever. It's like

Elf: Hey Jyugo are you feeling anything other than depressed or angry? Yes? Let me change that for ya.

Just burn in hell. Die. Nobody loves you. Your hair looks weird, your face looks weird and you got dropped on the head too much when you were a kid. Go back to wince you came.

The Man with The Scar - he sucks. That's what the people are telling me. I don't know anything about this guy except he sucks. Boom.

Tsu-in - I love Tsu-in. She is so awesome, her power is super cool, though I don't know why she is just a floating head right now, and nobody thought she could use a body. But she is awesome and alive. So that works. (She is so awesome he has her own font.)

This guy

Who the gauc are you? I can't translate this guy's name at all. If anyone knows his name, please tell me. His character design is cool, though I don't know what his power is exactly, I'm assuming it is Chi-Gong, but untill I know, I don't know.

Flowery Lady Killer

He is flowery. And a lady killer. Damn he cute. I don't know what your thing is but if it's flowers, then I'm in.

(look at Korijo, he is so gay. He is the only character that I think is completely gay in the series.)