#meaning that i watched one lol
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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I think the effects of leaving a fandom unsupervised for too long needs to be studied
#watching the svsss fandom explode with skincreatures again like a scientist in a lab#interesting... interesting.....#the fact that svsss made it so high onto the tumblr rankings this year despite getting absolutely no new content#makes me think it was all the fandom's doing#and therefore makes me think it can be blamed on the skincreatures#which is. so insane.#there is something truly special about the svsss fandom#which i think is a combination of factors#namely that the source material is the freaks and sickos book made for freaks and sickos (said with affection. im one of those sickos)#so the fandom is already primed for weird content#and then an absolute drought of new official content for several years means the fandom is left to its own devices#meaning people will make their own new content to be insane about#and for some reason. that is skincreatures.#i really can't help but wonder what people who aren't in the svsss fandom think whenever they see those things lol
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Potential Phaidei Crumbs
Some more possible Phaidei crumbs that I've been thinking about and haven't seen people discussing yet:
First, in the very first scene with Mydei, there's this one odd line. It's a tiny thing, but nothing in a character's first appearance is accidental, so...
Mydei starts griping, telling Phainon that the people of Castrum Kremnos as a whole will not accept him. Presumably he actually means this in a general sense, aka "The Kremnoans won't accept any other hero; Kremnos won't become allies with anyone."
However, something I haven't seen many people note is that Mydei's very next line is:
"As the successor of Kremnos, I am not able to act independently on such matters."
This is a weird statement, right?
Saying "I am not able to act independently" basically implies that there is a desire to choose differently than his people. It's not "I would never act differently than my people demand." It's not even "I don't want to act independently"--it's "I am not able to." Wording the statement this way actively suggests that Mydei has a different stance than Kremnos itself--that if he had the power to act independently, he might make a different determination than his people expect.
Or, in more direct words: He would accept Phainon if he had the choice.
The dev team is very careful about the first impression that characters make in their debut appearances in the game. Choosing to deliberately reveal to us that Mydei has a different opinion of Phainon than the rest of the Kremnoans might is a strong signal for Mydei's characterization--deep down, he is very different from other Kremnoans--but, even more importantly, it tells us instantly that Mydei thinks more highly of Phainon than other people from Kremnos do. (Even if he also thinks Phainon is a mannerless heathen who lacks hospitality lol.)
Okay, okay, but that's just one little line. There's another thing I wanted to point out too, and that's actually Miss Castorice...
I've seen a lot of people suggesting Mydei/Castorice, Phainon/Castorice, and even Mydei/Castorice/Phainon, but for all the fandom's shipping (and everyone should feel free to ship what they love; your ship is valid, fam!), I actually kind of think that...
Castorice is a bit of a Mydei/Phainon shipper herself.
Although Castorice is of course just a good person who is doing what she can to help Okhema, she also is quick to assist Phainon specifically to save Mydei, quick to try to keep Phainon calm because that's what will help him get to Mydei quicker, and she just brings Mydei up out of the blue to Phainon several times throughout the story.
It's Castorice who halts Phainon's ascension ceremony to ask where Mydei is, because she expected him to be there for Phainon.
It seems to be a given for Castorice that if Phainon needs him, in Phainon's most important hour, Mydei should obviously be with him. She knew Mydei would come.
Even before that, when Phainon was feeling down, Castorice admits she doesn't know how to comfort Phainon herself, and instead... brings up Mydei to comfort Phainon???
Girl thought Quick, how can I raise Phainon's self-esteem? and Mydei's nickname for Phainon was the first thing that seems to have come to mind. 😂
She really said "You're not lame, Phainon; Mydei thinks you're a hero!"
Okay, being more serious--even putting shipping aside entirely, it's just overall clear that Castorice perceives the close comradeship between Phainon and Mydei (probably moreso than Phainon himself) and understands how important having that close friendship is to Phainon, who seems to have nothing else left outside of the Chrysos Heirs at all.
She seems to be able to tell how much Phainon needs people in his life who believe in and can stand beside him, and seems to have clocked that Mydei is definitely one such person. The game tells us players clearly that Castorice is an incredibly perceptive person who is sensitive to the feelings of others, and part of that includes her continuing to verbally recognize, throughout 3.0, the support Phainon gains from his close connection to Mydei.
I think this is just another cool touch--but also maybe another subtle nod from the devs. Castorice won't even let Phainon have a single scene where Mydei isn't mentioned lol.
And finally, one last crumb based on a pet theory...
"As I've Written"
We don't yet know who is responsible for actually writing the character profiles in the "As I've Written" book--although the rewards section is called "Author's Recompense" and the player get rewards for "composing sagas," alongside the interact button being "Write Story," there's actually an entire achievement teasing the fact that the Trailblazer doesn't know who actually wrote the book:
It's not remotely written in a style the Trailblazer would write in, and it also contains information the Trailblazer (at least currently) has no way of knowing at all, like the details of Castorice's backstory.
At this point, the real author could be anyone. But I feel like there's a few things pointing in favor of the idea that the real author might be Phainon. It could also be Anaxa or Cyrene or even Mem too, but hear me out...
First, the book's design is reminiscent of Phainon: the book features prominent sun/moon symbols, has the same blue-white-gold color palette, and even the design at the bottom of the book resembles the design along the front of Phainon's coat:
The book also seems to be strongly foreshadowing that someone is going to lose their way, step onto a dark path, or end up making a terrible mistake.
In Tribbie's chapter:
In Aglaea's:
And of course in Phainon's chapter, where the foreshadowing is strongest:
If this "one who has lost their direction" and "lost themself," the "flawed hero," are all references to Phainon, then the book over and over again seems to be--for the player--foreshadowing Phainon's downfall. Or, from the other perspective: This is a record written by someone who has witnessed (or experienced) the downfall and knows what is coming.
There's also the fact that while Phainon's chapter is written in third person, the narrator occasionally slips in some hints that they know what's going on in Phainon's mind:
And there's also this moment from Mydei's chapter:
We already know that this is not how Mydei behaves around people he doesn't know. When Mydei isn't familiar with a person, he doesn't banter with them--he doesn't even bother with them. He barely speaks directly to the Trailblazer the entire 3.0 plot, for example! He doesn't remotely seem like the type of person to sit down at a table and drink with someone he doesn't know.
We also know that he's already scolded Phainon several times for trying to act like an expert in Kremnoan legends:
(Thank Streetwise Rhapsody from Youtube for these screencaps because I forgot to screencap it myself lol.)
And the icing on the cake:
The exact phrase "amateur historian" again.
To me, this all but confirms that the "true" author of the "As I've Written" chronicle is probably Phainon, which finally brings me to the actual Phaidei crumb I wanted to discuss all along:
Mydei's story is listed as chapter 10 of the book. Yet for some reason --even though we get the book only after completing nearly the entire 3.0 questline, when the player has definitely met Aglaea, Castorice, and Tribbie already--Mydei's story comes first.
While Castorice, Tribbie, Phainon, and Aglaea all share the same memory crystal, Mydei has his own separate memory crystal, not shared with any other character, and it is given to the player first, before anyone else:
Phainon really said "My man is more important than the rest of us combined."
Tribbie is chapter 1. Phainon is chapter 7. Aglaea is chapter 9. But for some reason, we jumped all three of those characters to present chapter 10 first. Theoretically you could say that it's because we went to Castrum Kremnos and fought Nikador? But, story-wise, was Mydei the most important? The Trailblazer met Phainon and Tribbie first, got to actually play Aglaea for a sequence of this story, and traveled alone with Castorice. Mydei is the character the Trailblazer actually had the least connection to in the whole 3.0 storyline, so it doesn't seem that the story is truly what determined the order characters' chapters were given to us.
At the end of the day, in a book that seems it could be written by Phainon (from the future? the past?), Mydei was given special treatment and came before anyone else.
I'm just sayin'... the devs don't do things on accident.
#honkai star rail#phainon#mydei#phaidei#myphai#castorice#amphoreus spoilers#like for real this time lol#make of all this what you will#I'M JUST SAYIN#but I was surprised watching my friend replay the story just how much Castorice brings up Mydei to Phainon#especially at the end of the patch#and also#if Phainon is the “I” in the book#that means he and Mydei have shared a table together before... with only one cup on it#quick fic writers#send me all your dinner date fanfics!!#I also think if Phainon is the one in the book#then the line about Mydei “expecting him to break the silence”#is kind of cute#Mydei wants a conversation to go with his dinner wine--I mean juice#but he doesn't want to be the one to start it#he doesn't need to either#since Phainon will start the conversation for them#guaranteed!#that says a lot about how well Mydei knows Phainon lol#I just thought these were kind of funny/nifty moments!#I will take any Phaidei crumb I can get reeeee
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b17e458731696605c37711ae281acd92/3c4a81934c401612-b4/s540x810/6db5de8608fbc518ca5fe08589237da76865caa9.jpg)
i feel the need--the need for speed!
#top gun#pete maverick mitchell#nick goose bradshaw#top gun goose#top gun maverick#pete mitchell#nick bradshaw#this is NOT military propaganda i PROMISE#i ended up liking these movies way more than i thought so bear with me but know i'm not drawing these like#oh huzzah us military because i am NOT :)#we watched the first top gun and i went into it with the only thing i knew was that goose died and if i hadnt known that spoiler i wouldve#been DEVASTATED he was such a good character#also the first movie was...okay i guess#the amount of french kissing was FRIGHTENING and my entire family screamed and covered our eyes lmao because wtf was that#also i realized maverick tossed goose's dog tags into the ocean in the one scene but that means rooster lost his father and doesn't even#have his dog tags to remember him by?? idk that was whack mav lol#top gun fanart#digitial art#artists on tumblr#illustration#csp#clip studio paint#tom cruise#anthony edwards
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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This is going to sound SO weird*, but the way Aou and Boom kiss is so pretty. It's just... There's always so much passion, and, yeah, the way they kiss is hot—I never have any doubt their characters are into each other—but it's also so very aesthetically pleasing to me in a way I could possibly articulate if I tried, but I think this is weird enough already 🙈
#aouboom#klaowarich#jengpok#tanfang#perfect 10 liners#perfect10 liners#we are the series#hidden agenda the series#*I mean I'm not normal about them#but maybe that's too weird???#i mean i know this is tumblr but still lol#also anyone who directs them in the future: get aou to kiss that one mole on boom's chest 🙈 (if they are both comfortable with it)#lazzarella watches tv
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I know that after Downfall the perspective of 'the gods are a FAMILY' has permeated fandom on both sides of the kill-all-gods argument, but frankly that isn't all they are and acting as if it's suddenly their only motivation flattens both them as characters and the narrative they (and bells hells) are in.
The Wildmother and The Raven Queen didn't 'let' Lolth get away with nabbing Opal and killing Cyrus because she’s their sister. Come on man, we've already seen that the primes are plenty capable of opposing and fighting their siblings on the side of mortals (is the calamity a joke to you??). I'm not saying the primes aren’t capable of picking the lives of their betrayer siblings over mortals (downfall showed as much) but that's not what the situation with Opal and Lolth was about in the slightest.
They let Lolth 'get away with it' not because she’s family, but because this is the very rare instance of them not only having the same goal, but of them actively fighting for their lives. As far as we know that has only happened once before on Exandria, and that time they also entered a truce to defend themselves. The vast majority of the time, the primes picking their siblings over mortals won’t happen because mortals can’t actually threaten the gods (normally), making the 'they're family argument' a moot point. The primes won’t necessarily agree with Lolth's methods, but they won’t go throwing away both hers and their own champions in a meaningless struggle when they need all their strength to stop the fucking apocalypse.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#nella talks cr#there's also the point that opal willingly made a deal with lolth#is that an end all be all argument to let lolth have her? no. it was a deal made under duress and manipulation#similarly fjord made a deal with uk'otoa under duress to not drown and he got to wiggle out of it (with the support of melora i might add)#but in this one instance? not only was opal too far gone to tear back without killing her#but doing so would also deprive exandria of a divine champion fighting to stop predathos#I've been meaning to make a post talking about the merrits of the other side of this argument#(aka why i understand some characters dislike the gods and why matt noted after downfall that it partially proved Ludinus' point)#but i keep seeing such bonkers fucking takes that i haven’t gotten around to it#maybe next week after I've watched the latest episode (and the latest bells hells god discussion lol)#anyway. it's five in the morning and I'm quite sleep deprived. please forgive any odd wordings
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I really like @theratpy‘s Dr. Zo :D I like him for normal reasons don’t even worry about it don’t read into it at all haha (Patreon)
Bonus Ratticus
#Doodles#Theratpy#Dr. Zo#Ratticus#And no one else don't worry about it#Which is to say please watch Theratpy! Such lovely stylization especially with the heartbeat animation ah#So cool how they move and the lineart moves! So cool!#I deeply enjoy how especially Zo is shaped he's incredibly pretty (this is known) lol#Incredibly predictable behaviour on my part I will not apologize I see pretty lad I draw pretty lad that's the rules#In all seriousness and not-jokes the rat style does lend really well to the Vargases..........just sayingggg lol#There'll be some in the next sketchdump ahem ahem they're pretty and cute wah!#Which I mean I'd be more than happy to tag again for credit purposes At The Least but just as well not to bother either whichever however#Just such a cuuuute and prettyyyyy style ahhhh#I enjoy very much please go enjoy also <3#The little ear flicks are probably my favourites hehe#Oh and hands lovely stuff <3 Fuzz and sharp nails! Yes! I like that very much#I tried to mostly style-match here but I can't escape my hand-habits of how I draw collars lol I don't think I quite got that#But all the same I'm still pleased! :D I enjoyed to draw and enjoyed the turnout! Hooray both#I did keep running out of room for his whiskers tho overlapping lines are hard to keep clean ahh#Especially with my love of movement lines lol everything crowded!#Still still still - pleased! Happy! Yay! :D#Good lads ♪
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i was drawing this as a joke but went a little too far
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fanart#shadow the hedgehog#sanrio#hello kitty#my melody#kuromi#cinnamoroll#pom pom purin#pink#artists on tumblr#ngl i just made this cus i watched the somic movie and got weird brain rot#meaning i know nothing but i like this one silly guy#food#almost forgot that lol
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Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"
But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.
One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo
#i mean this doesn't apply to all aspecs obviously but like#that stock video footage#they were kissing but it was more sucking each others faces and i was like wait#do people actually do this#lmaoo#it lowkey repulsed me oops#it hit me so hard but it also kind of validated my asexuality a bit too lol#ace#asexual#asexuality#aro#aromantic#aromanticism#aroace#this also may be because i dont watch live action shows or movies that much but still#does anyone else feel like this#ill be hardcore shipping something but i see one minute of irl relationship stuff and feel extremely disconnected#idk if im making sense#id like to hear some thoughts#might delete later but just wanted to get my thoughts out there#someone's probably said something like this before#edit: adding tags#yeah for me imagination of my ships kissing 👍👍👍💖💖#vs#footage of irl people kissing/live action kissing scenes 🫠#fandom#fanfic#fanfiction#my rambles
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did @birdietrait's random cas challenge again °-° yeah... they're quite random lol. rolls/prompts are below the cut! :]
Marius/Sim 1: punk, fantasy, blonde hair, no makeup, gap teeth Nylah/Sim 2: favorite tv show*, bratz (completely missed that one i think lol), brown hair, long hair, gap teeth Sachiko/Sim 3: cyberpunk, prom, red hair, white eyes, gap teeth
-> * ok ok ok! for favorite tv show i picked The Tribe bc i've been obsessed with the show since my early teens BUT... why have so many ppl never heard of that show? v.v it's literally so good, it's basically the first time i experienced media abt post-apocalypse/dystopia and it became my comfort tv-show to watch. °-° rant over.
#dunno why but when i rolled cyberpunk AND prom for one sim i just had to laugh#also the random number generator really loved the number 38 (gap teeth) for some reason#watch The Tribe pls :x it's really good and surprisingly mature themed for a show meant for teens lol#i mean does it make sense for a virus to ONLY kill adults? not really but they needed that plot device i guess#i have so many cas challenges on my to do list that'll last for a life time °.°#simblr#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#birdie.rcc#sims cas challenge
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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No matter how special it is, a kid's lunch is still just a kid's lunch.
I dunno, I liked "The Genius Restaurant" (Episode 1,089).
Happy (belated) birthday, Jimjam.
[Song link] [YouTube link]
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#video#eye strain#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#song is#nosedive#by#flor#ahahahaha i thought this would just be a chill edit and was like#'i did my last vid in 30 hours so i can do this one in less because it's shorter right? and because i'm mostly using one ep?'#wrong lol this took about 40-ish hours? nooooo idea how i did 'if you kill me' in 30...#aside from the audio i think that's a more complicated edit too ^^;#way late for jimjam's bday but i guess it's not *that* birthday related anyway... but it was my first thought for a bday edit haha#been meaning to do an amv for the ep for a while! special thanks to marivanilla05 for inspiring me to watch it with their great art#i'm so behind that i don't watch new eps much but i'm glad i skipped ahead and watched this one#special thanks to astravis for helping me with the beginning and to hex for the liveblog too!#i know it was a long time ago but that liveblog definitely inspired some choices here#that said i'm glad i waited because i think i'm a much better editor than i was last july (well hope so anyway!)#and this song only released a couple of weeks ago!#had tons of trouble picking a song (usually my amvs are song first but this was idea first) but i think i really like how this one fits#sources are mostly#episode 1089#but also episodes 1 14 52 and 192 and tv special 6 (episode one: the great detective turned small) and movies 13 and 16 and ova 9
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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if we were ever to make someone other than grian a watcher, impulse who used to literally be the camera man on his own channel 😭
#WHAT DO U MEAN THIS USED TO BE SKIZZLEMAN PRESENTS#AND HE WASNT EVEN A CHARACTER JUS THRE CAMREA??#<- watching imp and skuizz podcast rn#he shares hearts w skizz in naked n scared...u know who else makes weird hesrt games?#naked and scared(impulses game) inspired double life(one of grians games) literally let him copy hw#i need more inti these guys lol#imp and skizz#skizzleman#impulsesv
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