#meaning he’s either pulling his punches to test things out or he’s just kind of figuring things out cuz oh my god he’s back and OH MY GOD

[hellsbroadcaster]

Radiostatic things that just tickle me but seeing Vox so utterly defeated and pissed the fuck off after losing to Alastor not once but twice in these little ‘battles’ I’ll call them since his 7 year absence.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I) | Part 3

Word Count: 6k

Genre: smut, angst

Summary: When you first met your boyfriend, it was love at first sight. No, more than that. It was love before you even met. It felt like you had known each other in another life and were meant to find each other again. 

But that's not actually true, is it? You and Beomgyu don't actually know each other from another life, and the dreams you've been having aren't memories of your past life either. That's ridiculous. 

But then why does Beomgyu get so defensive about them? And why does each dream feel more real than the one before? 

A/N: this is the sequel to my series YAMQN but I'm trying to write it in a way that it would be comprehensible to people who have never read YAMQN. The parts in italic are the dreams. 

Warnings: fem!reader, cunnilingus, missionary, references to rape, dub-con, dom!beomgyu, sub!reader

You’ve decided you were overthinking everything. Your dreams mean nothing. Your dream about Taehyun meant nothing. It was just your stressed brain being weird. Though it was awkward being around him for a couple of days after that dream and feeling that inexplicable feeling of guilt and—you’d never say it outloud–love springs up your throat every time your eyes meet.

Luckily, you wouldn’t have to think about it too much today when there is something much more distracting to deal with. 

"What's with your eye?” You ask Taehyun, noting the eyepatch he was wearing. ��Is it a stye?" 

He shakes his head, grinning as he pulls the eyepatch aside to reveal a black eye. You gasp. "Oh my god! Did you get in a fight?"

"You could say that.” He shrugs, grin still in full effect. “I'm a wrestler."

“Oh. That is… not shocking.” You frown, making him laugh. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You seem to be the type.” You say as you give him a once over. Despite his sweet and innocent looks, he had a kind of roughness about him that gave him away. “Yesterday when you were helping me with the door of the back room, you nearly ripped it off its hinges.” 

“You said it was stuck so I expected more resistance. I just didn’t account for your chicken arms.” He teases, making you gasp, affronted. “How dare you? Check out these guns.” 

You pull up the sleeves of your shirt, flexing said chicken arms in various wrestler poses. “I bet I can even take you, Mr. fighter.” 

“I bet you can.” Something about the way he says that, low and a little hoarse brings a blush to your cheeks, a certain double entendre you’re not sure he meant hanging in the air, but you decide to just barrel past it. You can’t let your stupid brain keep overthinking the smallest things. You refuse to let in that weird sense of intimacy and familiarity that your dreams have conjured up seep into your reality and your relationship with him. You’re purely coworkers, maybe tentative friends, nothing more.  

“Damn right.” You declare, satisfied. “Now let me take a look at that eye. My mother is a nurse, you know?”

“Is she?” He sits down obediently, letting you examine his eye closely. You start by making sure the eye itself isn’t hurt and that his vision is clear, getting him to follow your finger to test his eye movements and making him read a few things at a distance, before you move on to the possible brain injury. “You didn’t pass out, did you?”

“No.”

“Did you vomit?”

“Nope.” 

“Had any seizures?”

“No.” 

“Do you remember everything?” 

“I wish I didn’t.” He snorted. “Damn bastard floored me with that punch.” 

You wince as you imagine that kind of impact that would bring him down and cause such a black eye. Instinctively, you reach forward to brush your thumb gently under his bruised eye. “Aw, does it hurt?” 

“It feels better now.” He smiles, looking at you strangely, and your heart skips a beat. Okay, surely you’re not just imagining this, are you? Your brain can’t be that much of an asshole. 

But before you can attempt to make sense of the way he’s acting, an angry voice cuts through the delicate moment savagely.  

“What the fuck are you doing?” Your boyfriend’s voice is like ice water down your back, making you jump away from Taehyun immediately. You turn to him in shock.“Beomgyu! What are you doing here?” 

“Checking in on you, but I’ve clearly arrived at the wrong time.” He spits, eyeing Taehyun angrily, and you quickly realize the source of the misunderstanding, waving your hands in the air in denial, trying to dispel whatever erroneous conclusions you’re sure his mind came up with. Damn it, it’s bad enough dealing with Beomgyu’s jealousy without you unintentionally feeding it. “It’s nothing. I was just checking his black eye. He got injured at a match.” 

“He’ll get another one if he doesn’t step away from you.” Beomgyu threatens and you hear Taehyun snort from next to you. “Yeah, right. As if you could ever land a punch on me.” 

Goddammit, Taehyun. You’re trying to de-escalate things here!

“Wanna see?” Beomgyu growls, rising up to the challenge immediately and charging forward. But you quickly step between him and Taehyun, not wanting a fight to break out in the middle of your workplace. 

"Beomgyu calm down. You’re making a scene." You whisper, noticing how the customers' eyes have turned to you. But of course, Beomgyu doesn’t care, his anger and jealousy getting the best of him. "Am I? I'm sorry, should I wait for you to fuck him on the counter first?"

Humiliation sears your skin at his accusation, said so loudly and easily in front of your coworkers and everyone in the shop. You’re so embarrassed you could cry, but that would only humiliate you further. So you quickly grab his arm and pull him out the back and into the alleyway behind the cafe where no one can see you. 

You can’t believe he’s doing this again. He promised he will get himself under control. You’ve tried to reassure him that you only love him. You’ve tried again and again to put boundaries when he acts out, but then he completely crashes through them with no regard for you. Why should he when you always forgive him and take him back after his abhorrent behavior? It’s your fault. You’ve allowed him to go this far and now he’s out of control. You need to put an end to this.  

"I'm done. This is over. I'll come around later to get my stuff." You tell him, and his whole demeanor changes–all wrath is gone from his face and he turns into a wounded animal in the blink of an eye, shaking his head in denial as his eyes flood with tears. "No. No. You can't leave me. Not again."

"What the fuck are you talking about?” You shout harshly, and he flinches. God, why does that still make you feel bad despite everything he’s done to you? “I never left you. Maybe that's the problem."

“No, please, I'm sorry!” He wails, "I'm sorry I blew up. I'm sorry I made a scene. I just can’t stand to see him with you. I know he wants to take you from me."

His unwarranted conviction drives you mad. Does he really think every single guy is out to steal you from him? "You are insane."

 Another guy would take the hint and dial it down on the crazy, but not Beomgyu. As if to prove that insanity to you, he falls to his knees at your feet, grabbing onto your legs tightly. "Don't leave me. I can't live without you."

"Go home, Beomgyu.” You grit out, trying to hold yourself back from falling for his pathetic display because truthfully you’re just as pathetic as him. It’s easy to be stern and immovable when he’s angry and lashing out, but it’s another thing entirely when he acts so vulnerable. When he’s angry, he’s an asshole who is hurting you, but when he’s sad, he’s your loving boyfriend who just needs reassurance and care. 

"I can't. Not without you.” He insists, and you take a deep breath to calm yourself down. “I need space, Beomgyu.” 

“You know I can’t–” 

“I need space to calm down and forget what you've done so I won't leave you." You snap, finally making him take his hands off you, realizing that though it kills him, backing off for once might be the thing that saves your relationship this time. 

Still he needs that extra reassurance. “Do you promise you won’t leave?” 

“Beomgyu–”

“Please!” He hiccups, hanging onto the thread of hope. “Please promise me that you won’t just leave.” 

“I won’t.” You grits out. You can’t. You wish it was ever that fucking easy to leave him, but he’s got you hooked on him good. 

"Okay." He gets up shakily. "Can I have a kiss?"

Does he not know how to quit? Has he no sense of awareness of the situation? Can’t he tell how much he has pushed you? "No."

You try to be firm in your decision, try to make him take you seriously once and for all, but when you see him sniffle and his lips tremble, it’s hard to stay strong. 

"Please. Just in case." He shakes under your harsh gaze that softens every time his breath hitches as he tries to hold himself together. 

God, this is exactly why he behaves this way, because it always works. 

You grab him by the back of the head, kissing his lips roughly, more teeth than anything, biting down on his lower lip in punishment, hard enough to taste blood, but Beomgyu doesn’t care. He clutches onto you desperately, opening his mouth up for you to thrust your tongue inside, making him taste his own blood. 

It’s a job to get him off you, but eventually you manage to disentangle yourself from him. “Go home now.” 

“Will you come home after work?” He prods, and you run your hand through your hair in frustration. “Is this giving me space?” 

“I just–” 

“I’ll be home by bedtime. I’ll probably walk around or hang out with friends to decompress.” You explain to him, even though you know you really shouldn’t. He has no right to know where you’re going, not after the shit he just pulled but you know he won’t leave you if you don’t reassure him. 

“Which friends? Are you going to–” 

“I have to get back to work, Beomgyu.” You cut him off sharply, unwilling to give him more. Truthfully, you don’t even know what you’ll do. You don’t know if you even wanna hang out with your friends. You can’t handle them telling you ‘I told you so’ for the hundredth time and pushing you to break up with Beomgyu. “I know you want me to get fired so I only have time for you but I actually wanna keep this job.”

He winces at your accusation but you don’t wait for him to defend himself, turning your back on him and walking into the coffee shop. 

Getting back into work is mortifying as you try to dodge the gazes of others that are at best curious and at worst judgmental and accusatory. Most of all, you try to avoid Taehyun, not knowing what to say to him after he witnessed your boyfriend’s outburst against him. 

But it’s hard to hide in such a small shop, and Taehyun is on you just a few minutes after stepping back inside. To your surprise however, he isn’t angry or reproachful. In fact, he doesn’t mention it directly at all.

“Hey you wanna blow off some steam after work?” He asks you, completely casual and you breathe a sigh of relief, nodding. You really could use some stress relief. You know you can’t go home to Beomgyu like this. You’re so mad you’re afraid you’ll do or say something you regret. 

What worries you even more is that you think whatever you would do to him, Beomgyu would take it, and you don’t want to be that person. You don’t want to perpetuate this sickness. 

________________________________

Taehyun takes you boxing. It’s definitely a bit unusual but when he said it would help you blow off some steam, he wasn’t kidding. 

“Hit it harder. Take out all your rage onto it.” Taehyun instructs you, then adds cheekily, “Imagine it’s your boyfriend’s face if you need to.” 

You scoff. If Beomgyu was here, he’d definitely lose it with how close Taehyun is to you, his hands fluttering between your waist and shoulder to correct your position, and wrapping around your arms to teach you how to correctly swing. 

“Like that?” You ask, punching the bag the way he taught you to. You’re not strong enough to have it swinging like he does, but he still praises you for doing it right. 

“Yup, good job. Soon enough you’ll be able to deck Beomgyu in the face.” He jokes and you send him a glare. 

“I don’t want to punch Beomgyu.” You say, delivering another hard swing at the punching bag, putting your full weight into it. 

“Are you sure about that?” He raises his eyebrows, watching you pummel the bag. 

“I’m just frustrated.” You grit, raining punches with both fists until you feel your arms getting sore. “Why does he have to act like such an asshole? He knows I love him. He knows he’s the only one for me. Why is he so insecure? He’s such a fucking idiot. He makes me so goddamn mad!”

You step away from the bag, panting for breath. Clumsily, you push away the sweaty hair out of your face with the gloves still on as you try to calm down your overheated body. “You’re right. This did help.” 

You give the bag one last punch before you take off the boxing gloves and slump onto a chair, exhaustion settling into your bones. You hear Taehyun snicker as he takes your place and starts his exercise. 

You watch him workout. You admit, he looks good doing it. Dressed in a white sleeveless top, his muscles bulge and tense every time his arms shoot forward to smack the bag. The look of concentration on his face and the way his jaw clenches makes him look all the hotter. 

His punches are fast and accurate, and you cringe a bit at the idea of someone being at the receiving end of them, but you still find it attractive. You never got the appeal of the strong, macho man some girls swoon over, always preferring the soft cute types yourself, but watching Taehyun go to town on that punching bag, sweat starting to drip down his glistening skin… you finally get it. 

Apparently, your ogling wasn’t as subtle as you thought, especially when Taehyun pulls up the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, revealing his hard abs to your curious eyes. 

“Like what you see?” Taehyun smirks, dropping the shirt back down and you blush, looking away. “Bet he doesn’t look like this.” 

“Shut up.” You grumble, standing up. “I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything?” 

You realize how dry your throat has become and take it as an advantage to get out of this messy situation you’ve gotten yourself in. But Taehyun shakes his head. “You stay put. I’ll go get the drinks.” 

You graciously accept the offer, telling him what you’d like to have, and he dips out of the practice room to get you something out of the vending machine and you take the opportunity to cool off. 

God, what is wrong with you? Do you like Taehyun? Why the fuck are you thirsting like that over him? Ever since you’ve gotten with Beomgyu, you can honestly say you’ve never wanted to be with another man. Beomgyu just fulfilled all your needs, emotionally and physically. Being with him felt like finally finding your other half, your soul’s resting place. It’s cliche but it truly felt like you were made for each other. How can anyone else compare? 

But now that his jealousy and controlling behavior has gotten out of control, you find yourself pulling away from him, the illusion of the perfect one for you slowly shattering by his own hand. Is that why you’re having these weird feelings towards Taehyun? Like Beomgyu, you feel like you’re connected to Taehyun somehow. Despite the relatively short duration you’ve known him, it feels like you��ve known each other for years. You yearn for him in a way you have no control over and you don’t like it. You’re just proving Beomgyu right with his unhinged paranoia. 

Seriously, fuck Beomgyu for putting these thoughts into your head. You were completely fine with Taehyun before he made a big deal out of nothing. 

When Taehyun comes back, he hands you a can of soda and you gladly pop it open, gulping down the cool liquid with relief. 

“So when did you start boxing?” You clear your throat, trying to ignore the way his Adam's apple bops as he swallows. 

“Since I was a kid basically.” He shrugs, explaining further at your questioning look. “I didn’t have the best home life and boxing helped me blow off some steam and got me away from it for a bit.”

“Ah.” You hum awkwardly, twirling the can in your hands. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“It’s alright. I’ve left it behind now, trying to make a life of my own. That is why I was so glad that you told me about the job at the cafe. It’s a chill job that allows me to make some money to support myself and still be able to pursue my studies.” 

“Right. Music. Didn’t peg you for that guy. I mean, boxing sure but didn’t think you’re the artistic type.” You grin, feeling a bit giddy at his faux offended look. 

“Hey, I have a sensitive side too.” He defends, “And I’ve been told I have the voice of an angel.” 

“Someone's humble.” You laugh, and he shrugs. “When you’ve got it, flaunt it.” 

“Let’s hear it then, angel.” 

He gives you a look at that, and you open your mouth to apologize, not sure if you’d crossed a line, but then he coughs, clearing his throat a bit and starts to sing. 

I know that sweet love song

The words we said through our oath

If I turn around, eventually

They'll just end up being an unfamiliar someone

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic

I want to run away, far away

My heart is already chasing after you

And burning with small embers

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic

I don't believe anymore in being romantic

As my entire heart burns

I'm afraid that only black ashes will remain

He really does have the voice of an angel, so sweet and soothing. You listen quietly to the whole song, a small smile on your face despite the song’s pessimistic message. But something about his voice tugs at a distant memory in your brain, the feeling like a word on the tip of your tongue that you just can’t quite remember. It’s a disquieting feeling that clashes with the sweet honey of his voice. 

You don’t let it show though. You know he wouldn’t understand. And once he’s done singing, you clap enthusiastically. 

“Thank you. Thank you.” He graciously accepts the applause, a pleased grin on his face. 

“Wonderful. Showstopping. Angelic.” You pour out exaggeratedly and he laughs. “I told you.” 

“You did.” You admit, no point teasing him about his cockiness when you like his voice so much. “I never heard that song before. Did you write it yourself?” 

“Yup.” 

“Now I get how you’re into music if your songs are this dejected.” But you can tease him about the subject matter. You’re impressed with his talent but if you had to come up with a song that Taehyun would compose, it would’ve sounded exactly like this. 

“I’m just being a realist.” He tells you and you cock your head to the side, intrigued. “You don’t believe in romance?”

“No. I’ve seen how it goes too many times and it always ends in heartbreak and tears at best.” 

You frown, finding it sad that his experiences have made him arrive at this bleak conclusion. “It’s not always like that. Some people have happy relationships.” 

“Yeah, do you know of anyone who has an actually happy relationship?”He challenges and you wrack your brain trying to think of one. Your parents? Definitely not. Your sisters? Nope. Your friends? Hah. Still, you refuse to admit it. You’re a hopeless romantic and you refuse to accept his cynical worldview. If love only ever ends in heartbreak then what even is the point of living? “Just because the people I know aren’t the poster children for happy relationships doesn’t mean there are none.” 

“Are you even happy with Beomgyu?” He prods, catching you off guard. 

You were. Things were perfect between you. He was the best boyfriend you could have ever wished for at the beginning. He was so sweet and loving and gentle, being with him felt like coming home, but slowly things started to unravel until it got to the point you’re at right now and you’re too scared to admit that things may never go back to the way they were before. If Beomgyu isn’t the one for you then who is? 

“Shut up and sing more.” You grumble, not wanting to think about it anymore.

Taehyun grins, not pushing anymore, satisfied with his win, and obliges you. He sings a couple more songs for you, each of his own making, and you eagerly listen to him, closing your eyes and getting lost in the warmth of his voice, asking for more every time he finishes. 

He doesn’t complain, performing a mini-concert for you, helping soothe your nerves as you try to focus on his soothing voice and forget about the troubles you’ve been going through with Beomgyu and your confusing feelings for Taehyung.

But all the tension ricochets back into your body when he gets to the fourth song, the small smile you were wearing plummets into a frown and you sit up from your slumped position suddenly. You don’t know what it is about this song. It appears to be a simple lullaby, but just hearing it makes your heart hammer in your chest. 

Taehyun notices quickly and stops singing. “What’s wrong?” 

“Did you make up that song too?” You ask and he shakes his head. “No, it’s a song my mum used to sing me when I was a kid. Why?”

“I don’t know, something about it seems familiar.” You trail off, eyebrows furrowing as you try to recall where you heard it before. 

“I doubt it. My mum made it up.” He says, confused by your sudden change in mood. 

You’re confused too. You don’t understand. You just have this intense feeling of deja vu right now, something you’ve been feeling increasingly more frequently lately. Maybe you heard it in a dream? 

You shake your head, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and needing comfort, needing Beomgyu… “Never mind. I should probably get going.” 

You’re mad at him but he’s still the biggest source of comfort for you. He has a way to calm you down even if he’s the one who caused your anxiety. It all works out when it’s just the two of you. It’s only when other people get involved that everything falls apart…

“Already?” Taehyun asks, disappointed, and you look at the clock that says 10:46 pm and sigh. “Yeah. Beomgyu is probably freaking out by now. Even more than he already was.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t go back to him then. You need some proper time away to think things through. You can’t let him keep getting away with this behavior.” He advises, his expression betraying his clear distaste for Beomgyu. Great, another friend who despises your boyfriend. You can’t deal with this right now. 

“He’s just insecure.” You find yourself defending him once again, feeling weary and covering your face with your hands. “I don't know why. it's not like every guy that ever meets me will fall in love with me. You don't even like me.” 

"I do like you." Taehyun says simply and you snap your head up and gape at him. "What?"

He shrugs as if this doesn’t fuck everything up even more. "I like you and I think you deserve better than your shitty boyfriend."

You shake your head, standing up, feeling angry at yourself. Of course, he likes you. Beomgyu smelled it from a mile away. Why else would he be so nice to you? Why else would he care so much to hang out with you and calm you down when he’s probably tired from his shift? This was obviously a mistake and you’re a stupid girl who is playing into it while your boyfriend is probably breaking down at home. "Beomgyu is a good boyfriend. He loves me." 

Taehyun stands up too, getting a bit forceful now. “You’re deluding yourself. What he’s doing isn’t healthy, and he’ll only continue to get worse because you let him.” 

What does he know? How do you know he’s not just trying to break you up with your boyfriend so he could get with you? Beomgyu probably could tell that Taehyun liked you from the start and that’s why he was so averse to you being around him. Obviously that doesn’t excuse how out of pocket he acted today but he still wasn’t completely wrong. 

“I should go.” You mutter, quickly gathering your things. 

“Let me take you home then.” He offers and you snort. Yeah right, like that wouldn’t make Beomgyu’s brain melt. 

“I'll just take an uber.” 

Taehyun attempts to argue but you shut him down. 

_____________________________

Beomgyu is waiting near the door when you get back, curled up onto himself as he rocks back and forth, looking like a broken mess, and your heart can’t help but clench painfully at the miserable sight of him despite everything he’s done. You can’t bear to see him hurt, especially knowing that Taehyun liked you after all and he wasn’t being totally paranoid. 

"You're back!" He stops rocking and untangles his arms from his body. You see the tension in his body, like he wants to spring forward and take you in his arms but isn’t sure if he’s allowed to. "I thought I lost you." 

"I'm right here." You sigh, opening your arms up, giving him the signal he needed to stand up and engulf you in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, baby–” He begins his long plea. You’ve heard it many times by now–he’s sorry he acted irrationally, he’s sorry he gets jealous and out of control, he promises he’ll do better– but you’re honestly not in the mood for it right now. You just want to pretend none of this happened tonight, least of all because you feel some kind of guilt over hanging out alone with Taehyun and letting him touch you when he secretly had feelings for you just like Beomgyu was afraid of. 

“Shut up, Beomgyu.” You grab his face and kiss him. 

He lets you do it. Beomgyu would never reject a kiss from you, but once your bruising kiss leaves his lips and travels to his jaw, he voices his concern. “Are you sure, princess? Don’t you wanna t-talk about it?” 

Princess? He’s bringing out the big guns. There is no use arguing with Beomgyu right now. You already know what he’s going to say so you bite down on his neck, making his breath hitch as your hands trail up his waist towards his nipples, rubbing them with your thumbs over the thin material of his shirt and making him gasp. “Just shut up and be good for once, Beomgyu. Need you to fuck me so hard I can’t even think about how mad I am at you right now.” 

You feel him gulp under your lips, and the next thing you know he is carrying you by your ass and dropping you onto the couch. He quickly takes off every shred of fabric on your body, following suit, before he gets on the ground in front of you and buries his face in your pussy. 

Beomgyu is a very talented lover, especially with his tongue. He knows exactly what to do to get you going, and right now is no different. He eats you out as if he can convince you to stay just by using his mouth, and you have to admit, it is very persuasive. 

“Fuck, Gyu. Good boy.” You praise, encouraging him to do more, your hand in his hair guiding his mouth to where you want him. He eagerly lets you control him, pushing his tongue into your pussy while his lips pucker and suck around your hole. 

You feel yourself clench around his tongue, more of your arousal leaking around it until it covers his chin and parts of his cheeks. You pull his head up, whining as his tongue slips out of your pussy, but he quickly relieves the feeling of emptiness by pushing his fingers inside you, curling them up to hit that sensitive spot inside you that has you keening. 

He wasn’t going to be slow tonight, and you don’t want that. You cry as his mouth finds a new target in your clit, alternating between sucking it in his mouth and flicking it with his tongue, all while his fingers plunge in and out of you until you’re creaming on his face. 

“That’s it! Fuck, that’s it, baby.” You throw your head back, eyes squeezing shut as your body shudders at the intense orgasm. Fuck, you needed this. 

Beomgyu doesn’t care about how hard you’ve got his hair fisted up in your hand. He keeps hungrily licking your pussy, not letting your arousal completely fade even as your orgasm passes. 

“Baby, wait, give me a second–” You gasp, feeling sensitive, and when Beomgyu pulls away you think he’ll give you break, but instead he pushes you down until you’re laying on your back on the couch and gets on top of you, lining his cock with your entrance 

“Wait–Beomgyu!” You cry as he shoves his cock inside of you, beginning to fuck you right away, not giving you a moment to breathe or calm down. 

“There you go, princess. Is this what you wanted?” He pants, hips slamming against yours as he fucks you roughly. 

It was what you wanted but you’re not sure now. You need a moment. “Baby, slow down…” You whine, your eyes squeezed tightly which Beomgyu doesn’t like. 

“Slow down? But I thought you wanted me to fuck you until you can’t think about how mad you are at me.” He taunts, slamming his hips against yours, his cock going so deep inside you you feel like you’re going to choke. Normally, you’d fucking love it but it’s suddenly too much for you. 

You shake your head, holding tightly onto his upper arms. “Please, baby, just slow down!”

But Beomgyu only fucks you harder. “Open your eyes, princess. Look at me while I’m fucking you.” 

“Beomgyu–” You beg but he seems too far gone, not realizing that you’re being serious. You feel a harsh smack against your thigh and he growls down at you. “Open your eyes.”  

You do, hardly seeing him with the tears in your eyes, but what you see scares you. “Gyu–”

“Am I fucking you hard enough? Or does my princess need me to fuck her dumb until she sees only me?” 

No, no. This is exactly what you asked for, but somehow it doesn’t feel good. The wildness of Beomgyu’s eyes, the roughness of his hands, don’t assure you of his need and devotion to you as always. Instead, they speak of a need to own, a desire to subjugate you or tear you apart. It fucking terrifies you. 

And suddenly, intrusive images come to mind. Images of bound limbs and golden suits, tears and anger. Images of Beomgyu forcing himself on you as you lie helpless and beg him to stop. 

“Beomgyu!” You cry out, shocked at what your mind is conjuring up. It’s not real but it feels real. You feel violated and scared and you just want it to stop. "Stop. Stop!"

“No. Don’t be a brat. You can take it.” Beomgyu chastises, still lost in his own head, the pleasure clouding his mind and not letting him see your pathetic state. 

“No. I can’t. Please. ” You sniffle, shaking your head weakly. 

“Don’t cry. You’ve made me wait so long for this pussy.” Prince Beomgyu drives his dick into you harder, making sure you’re fully deflowered.  "Take it. You were made for me. You can take it."

The images of prince Beomgyu looming over you just like he is right now, being so relentless and cruel as he takes what he wants from you are all you can see in front of you. It’s not a dream anymore. You’re wide awake, so why can you see them as if they were your own memories? God are you going crazy?

“Beomgyu?” You croak, trying to reach him through the images and his crazed headspace.

“I swear if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t bother being gentle.”

You quickly clamp your mouth shut at the ghostly threat, stopping any noise from getting out, stopping even your breathing, and that finally alerts Beomgyu to what is going on. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He stops moving and reaches out to touch you but you flinch. 

“Don’t touch me.” You cry, the damn breaking down and allowing tears to stream down your face. 

“What happened? Oh god. I didn’t know you were serious.” Beomgyu’s face goes pale and he looks like he’s going to be sick. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Get off me. Get off me.” You wail, pushing him away. He pulls out of you but doesn’t get off, wrapping you in his arms and trying to get you to calm down. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just me. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear. You’re okay. You’re okay. I love you.” He coos, trying to sound reassuring but you can hear the panic and fear in his voice as he cradles you and rocks you back at forth, not paying any mind to you clawing at his back as you try to break free, letting you sob and cry until you tire yourself out and slowly, slowly down. 

“I’m right here, princess. You’re safe with me. I’ll never leave.” 

His words of reassurance fail to have the effect he desires. Instead of soothing you, you find them suffocating and inescapable. You feel like you’ve been here many times before, each time adding to the heaviness of that oppressive weight pushing down on you until you don’t have the strength to fight it anymore. You just fall limp in his arms, and he finally pulls back to look at you. 

He brushes your hair out of your face and swipes away the drying tears. “I’m sorry I hurt you, baby. I didn’t mean to.” 

"I’m sorry. I just…” Prince Beomgyu struggles to find the words for a second. “I had to do what I had to do to keep you.” 

You shiver, looking away from him. 

"What is it? What’s happening? What are you thinking?" He asks worriedly, wanting to get into your brain to figure out what caused your sudden breakdown, needing to know so he can convince you it’s nothing like he always does. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You mumble, monotone. You’re fucking exhausted and traumatized. You feel like you’ve been violated. You just want to go to sleep and not wake up. 

“Baby, please, just talk to me. I can fix it.” 

You glare at him. “Fix it? As if you’ve ever taken my concerns seriously. You’d just tell me it’s all in my head and–” You shut yourself up. You don’t want to talk to him about this. It hurts enough when he dismisses your dreams normally. It would fucking kill you if he made light of what you just experienced, even if it was all in your head.  

Surprisingly, in a move totally unlike him, Beomgyu relents. “I take you seriously. You don’t even know.” He says, head bowed sadly. “It’s you who doesn’t.”

What does that even mean? Is he talking about his jealousy over Taehyun? Yes, you admit he may have been right about that but there are many other things he was wrong about. But you don’t have the energy to get into it right now. 

“Take me to bed.”

“Yes, princess.” He sighs, head bowed as he carries you in his arms and takes you to bed, putting you under the sheets and climbing in next to you. 

“I never want to hurt you.” He murmurs, taking you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. You shiver at his choice of words. 

Never wants to hurt you. Not is never going to hurt you. 

__________________________

A/N: lol I was supposed to do this early release on patreon but here is a surprise. as always i really appreciate any feedback. whenever I am going through hard times I keep reverting back to missing yamqn gyu and wishing for him to comfort him despite how objectively terrible he is :'D

once again

[jessaerys]

that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 

in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.

in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests

all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"

and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it

-

⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 

⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)

⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it

[veryace-ficrecs]

could you do some heart pirate centric fics?

of course!! []~(￣▽￣)~*

Heart Pirates Centric Fic Recs

it takes every organ by Anonymous - Rated T

It really is hilarious that any pirate crew would use a submarine, rather than a ship. Who would want to go down, instead of having room to go up? Who would rather be below water, with nowhere to stretch one's wings, than be close to the skies? Law thinks about the twines of thorns on his back, the scaled feathers on Penguin's and Shachi's. None of them can even fly anyway, so fuck it. If they can't go up, they'll just go down instead. (Or: Law, the flightless pirate captain of a flightless pirate crew in a world where most everybody has wings, through the eyes of all those who matter.)

Reliving a Nightmare by PumpkinPieTimb - Rated T

Grand Line is where the infamous Devil Fruits come from. Fruits that can grant its eater a unique ability that can either be so stupid it would make you question why it even exists, or so overpowered that you'd think the user is a god. Speaking of Devil Fruit users with overpowered abilities, did you know that some can alter time? Or, in this case, a person's age? Because Penguin sure as hell didn't. It was wild, like any other thing in the Grand Line. It was unpredictable. Unknown. Unheard of. Hence, the lack of proper response. "This can't be happening," Shachi muttered in disbelief beside him. "This-- this is a dream. I'm dreaming, right? Someone pinch me-- fuck, punch me." He laughed hysterically.

Bioluminescent Hearts by Harmonica_Smile (Rescue_Remedy) - Rated T

"No bodies?" Blackbeard fumed. Doc Q and Stronger had bounced across rocky Winner Island when that bear had gone all Sulong and knocked them out. Van Augur's range for warping wasn't that great, and was tricky over open water. He could sharpshoot the skin of a hangnail, but the bear was fast. If he'd managed to get a shot in, they could've finished the Mink off, and pulled the shitty doctor from the water, taken his heart and returned triumphant. Once the horse had woken up. *contains spoilers for chapter 1081*

Visiting Home by Nehszriah - Rated M

Law wants to go back to Flevance to run some tests on the remaining Amber Lead, though the excursion turns into another sort of thing entirely.

on grandma's baking and also grand larceny by Chockyyyy - Rated T

Law always felt most in control standing at the head of a table, a map sprawled before him to guide each person into their place. He thrived on well-oiled machines and plans that ran bump-free. These kinds of things were good stress relievers for him and carrying them out was a good stress reliever for his crew. Simple logic. Thus: here he was. “The information we need is held inside a trapped and guarded office, but there's a massive banquet occurring that night that will give us a better shot with the lowered security. Several of you will be infiltrating the party, keeping an ear out, and if needed, providing distractions. What we’re after is classified to hell and back; as long as we get out, there's no way those nobles will admit it was stolen if that means they had it in the first place.” “Dibs on the dress!” Shachi called in the silence after Law’s spiel.

Forty-Two Superior Teeth by Harmonica_Smile (Rescue_Remedy) - Rated T

Law, Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin: Kids growing into their dreams on Swallow Island.

echo by MuffinsInSummer - Rated G

the clock strikes midnight - it's October 7th, Law is drunk, he doesn't plan on celebrating his birthday until he sees the treasure chest that has the fruit he's been searching for so long. The Nagi Nagi no Mi. "Hey sorry it took so long. Just in time too." "This is..." (or in which I forget Law's birthday minutes after it hits midnight AGAIN in my country and I write this to make up for it. Sorry Law.)

[duhragonball]

Phantom Blood Liveblog JJBA ch.23-25

He said the thing! 🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞

Last time, Dio sent Zombie Jack the Ripper to kill our heroes, but he didn’t count on our guys using Hamon power to fuck him up.  So now Jack’s face is all messed up, but you should have seen the other guy. 

The other guy:

Well most of the art in Part 1 is great, I still say.

Zeppeli was styling all over Jack and making it look easy, but he orders Jonathan to finish Jack off, and to make it even more challenging, he tosses him a glass of wine to take with him as he chases Jack through a spooky tunnel. Zeppeli has a test for Jonathan: He must not only defeat Jack the Ripper, but do so without spilling a drop of the wine.  If he does spill the glass, then Zeppeli will abandon him, even if he wins. 

Speedwagon finds this absurd, since this is no time to be screwing around, but Zeppeli explains himself with the most awesome of analogies: a shark story.

So this guy got knocked off his boat by some asshole sharks, and he gets tangled up in his own net under water. If the sharks don’t get him, he’ll surely drown, so he cuts off his own leg to get free, then uses his own blood to lure in the shark so he can kill it with a harpoon.  “What the hell does this have to do with wine?” Speedwagon asks.

Zeppeli doesn’t seem to know either, so he falls back on the analogy he gave to Jonathan before he went into the spooky tunnel: the northern winds make the Vikings.  What this means is that the adversity of the harsh winds made the Vikings strong, and so too will this test of Jonathan’s resourcefulness and skill.  If he can’t pull this off, then he’ll never stand a chance against Dio.

I’m pretty sure this was all built hundreds of years ago, but I forgot the backstory behind all this.  Windknights Lot was supposed to be this training ground for knights, and this tunnel on the road to the town has this spooky dungeon next to it, so I’m guessing this was something the knights built for LARPing Zelda games. Jack has this gigantic weapon with a bunch of huge knives on it, and he almost gets the drop on Jonathan, who douses his torch to avoid giving away his position. He searches in the dark for a bit, trying to stay mindful of the tactical insights Zeppeli has taught him during the Jack the Ripper Fight.

Finally, as he gets closer to Jack, he notices that the wine is rippling in the glass from the vibrations given off by Jack’s undead power.  Using his knowledge of Hamon, Jonathan can detect Jack by sensing the disturbances in the liquid. 

This gets Jonathan all fired up, and he pinpoints Jack on the other side of the wall, where he plans to ambush him.  But Jonathan just punches through the wall and...

YEAH!  HOW’S THAT TASTE, DUMMY?!   “From Hell” my ass, you ain’t nothin’!

Moving on, the gang approaches Windknights Lot, and Speedwagon pleads with Zeppeli to teach him Hamon power too, so he can help them fight Dio. Zeppeli insists that Speedwagon lacks the resilience-born-through-tragedy that he and Jonathan share, but he does offer to try to activate his diaphragm or something.  Then he punches him in the gut.  He tells Jonathan he made a mistake in his technique, but it sure looks like he’s just screwing with Speedwagon.  On the other hand, this is basically how he began training Jonathan, so this might have been a good faith attempt. 

Then some kid steals all their stuff using a Wile E. Coyote gadget. He escapes into the far side of a pond, where he thinks he’d be home free, except...

Zeppeli can walk on water!  And Jonathan can kind of do it too, except his Hamon isn’t as strong, so he sinks down to his ankles.  Speedwagon just falls in, of course. 

The kid tries to climb up a cliffside to get away, but Jonathan uses Hamon to cause part of it to break off, so the kid falls and he catches him.  But then zombies come out of the ground and Zeppeli realizes that Dio set a trap for them.

Moments later, the kid, named Poco, snaps out of it and wonders what’s going on.  Turns out Dio hypnotized him or something, and used him to lure the good guys to this battleground, at this time of night.  It’s a clever trick, since Dio and his zombies can’t operate during the day.  And that’s what worries Zeppeli, because the Stone Mask was dangerous enough when no one knew what it could do.  For someone as cunning and evil as Dio to have it is pretty much the worst-case scenario. 

So the crew goes to work taking out all the zombies, and it is glorious.  Part One-y mayhem at its finest.  Zeppeli just takes a bunch of them down like dominos, and Speedwagon hits them with a sledgehammer because fuck yeah.

Jonathan makes his fist enormous and destroys a zombie.  Oh, wait, I’m sorry his fist was always enormous.  I got confused from all this beef. 

Zeppeli confronts Dio and challenges him to come down and fight, but Dio isn’t interested.  He gloats that he’s nearly healed himself from the burns he suffered from the fight at the Joestar mansion. Zeppeli angrily demands to know how many innocents he consumed to heal himself, and Dio asks him how much bread he eats or something.

Hell, let’s just look at it again.  This is fucking awesome.  I’m more partial to “Hey, Baby!” myself, but this scene is a winner from every angle. 

Zeppeli tries to take Dio out with Sunlight Yellow Overdrive, but Dio blocks it by freezing his own arm! Just like a real vampire-- wait no!  No!  Vampires don’t have Iceman power!  Well, Dio does.  He can evaporate all the moisture in his arm all at once, and that chills his flesh, and freezes anything that comes into contact with it. 

The upshot of this is that by using this trick, Dio can freeze Zeppeli’s arm, and disrupt his circulation, which is what he uses to direct Hamon from his blood to his hands.  And so Zeppeli’s attack can’t be launched. 

Dio tries to finish off Zeppeli with his other arm, but before Zeppeli can try to block it Jonathan jumps in and intercepts the blow.  Also Poco was hanging on to Jonathan’s backpack for dear life, so I guess it’s a three-on-one situation now. Good luck, Poco...

[buckysgrace]

Sixteen

Billy

He had a hard time sleeping that night. He kept expecting to be woken by Kim’s whines and he feared he’d see her hazel eyes full of fear. He wasn’t sure if she slept peacefully, but she didn’t have another night terror.

He had been certain her first nightmare would’ve been a one time thing, but now he wasn’t so sure. She still seemed frantic, almost like she was afraid to sleep this time. He wasn’t sure what he could do to make her feel better.

He wasn’t surprised to hear that she didn’t want to go to school, but was a little stunned to find out that she didn’t want to leave either. Billy was quite positive that Sam wasn’t really enthused about him going with, but it didn’t matter. Billy was ecstatic to leave, to get away from Hawkins.

At the same time he felt guilt for leaving Neil behind. He really did feel like he was acting like his  mom, leaving without saying anything. He kept trying to calm himself, to remember that it was fine to go. Neil would understand. At least, he hoped that Neil would. 

“Here,” Dale carefully handed him a folder. Billy furrowed his eyebrows together as he opened it up, looking down at the clean sheet in confusion, “It’s a letter of recommendation. Seriously, kid, you’re a great worker. I wish you the best.” Billy stares at the paper for another second before he’s looking up at Dale in surprise. He felt like he hadn’t been working here for long at all. 

“Oh,” Billy suddenly feels like he’s been punched in the gut and he has no idea how to respond, “Thank you.” He spits out at last, completely surprised by his own reaction. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so moved by the small action.

“No problem, kid,” Dale smiles kindly towards him, “I hope California treats you well.” Billy nods his head in response, still feeling too overwhelmed to answer his soon to be former boss. He didn’t understand how people could be so kind, especially towards him. Billy thinks about Dale’s words though, and really hopes that California is kind to him too.

He keeps thinking about Neil throughout the day, wondering if he really should visit him again. He feels guilty, leaving without saying anything. He’s scared, fearing that Neil may accuse him of acting like Rosemary. He’s not leaving Neil behind on purpose, but Billy knows that he’s unable to leave Kim behind. She means everything to him, she is everything to him.

Still, he can feel the guilt eating him away the more that the day goes by. He already requested to leave early today, to ensure that everything was ready to go. However, he began to wonder more and more if he should just take one last visit to the prison. He felt his foot beginning to bounce as he wished he could stop and pick up a six pack. He felt like it’d been so long, it was driving him crazy.

The afternoon passed soon enough and before he knew it he was sitting in the passenger seat while Kim drove them to her driver's test. He kept his lips tightly pressed together, not saying anything but clearly noticing how bad her nerves were at the moment. She was hitting the brakes a little harder, turning a little sharper. He kept reminding her to breathe. 

“You’ve got this,” He told Kim, nodding his head as she turned to look at him with wide hazel eyes. She was so anxious that it was beginning to rub off on him. He was bouncing his foot repeatedly and could feel an itch for a cigarette arising, “This is just another test. You do so well on tests.” He tries to praise her, hoping that it’ll get her out of her head. 

“Right,” She nodded her head, inhaling sharply as she twisted her fingers together tightly, “It’s just a test.” She doesn’t sound a bit assured as she continues to twist and pull on her fingers. Billy is sure that she’s popped them enough that they must be aching. 

“Hey,” Robin waves her hand over nervously towards Kim, “Are you taking your test too?” She doesn’t even glance at Billy, stares straight ahead with soft eyes at Kim. He furrows his eyebrows as he turns towards Kim, wondering how she was always so oblivious. It’s fairly obvious how Robin feels in his opinion. He can tell just by the way she looks at him. 

“Yes.” Kim answers stiffly, her eyes darting around as she continues to fumble with anything she can reach. Billy has an urge to grip both of her hands and hold them down in hopes that it may settle her jitters just a little bit. Steve lingers behind Robin, but he’s looking at them brightly like they’re all the best of friends. 

“I bet you’ll both pass,” Steve smiled kindly as he nudged Robin, “It’s really not that bad.” He tries to brush away Kim’s worries. Billy grumbles underneath his breath as he feels his arms crossing over his chest. 

“Yeah we will,” Robin’s smile is wide and giant, “Maybe we could hang out later?” Billy shuffles a little further into his seat this time, feeling a bit awkward as the tension begins to radiate off of Kim. He wonders if they can tell just how badly she doesn’t want to. He doesn’t think she’s being rude, rather that she’s just overwhelmed with everything else that’s happening. 

“We’re going to Lucas’s game tonight.” Billy answers for her shortly. He doesn’t mention that they’ll be gone in the morning, far from Hawkins. He thinks about Neil again for a moment and tries to erase the guilt that’s forming in the pit of the stomach. 

“So are we,” Steve smiles towards Kim, “Robin is in band too.” He references and Billy can’t say that he’s super surprised. Robin seems like the type of nerd that would be in band. He glances towards Kim suddenly, thinking that she may fit into that category as well. 

“Band is cool.” Kim answers softly, looking like she might pass out from nerves. He swears he can barely see her freckles from how pale she looks. Robin lingers for a moment, holding her hands together like she understands that Kim is not in her right state at the moment. Billy watches as Kim brings her fingers up to her mouth and begins to chew on her nails. 

“Well, I’ll see you soon,” Robin waves again as Steve lightly taps on her shoulder, “I hope you do great.” She held her thumbs up, looking a bit awkward as she finished her sentence. Billy feels a bit bad for her, watching as she awkwardly stumbles back and trips over Steve’s foot. 

“Thanks,” Kim said softly as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Billy observes her as she watches them, making sure that they’re gone before she inhales deeply. She pauses before she turns towards Billy, “I can’t do this.” She spits out quickly, her hazel eyes wide with fear. He feels worried for her, hoping that her nerves won’t keep her from passing. 

“You can.” He gives her a determined nod, knowing that she really is a good driver. He also knows that her anxiety will be the thing to make her think otherwise. He lightly brushes his pinky against hers, hoping that she understands that he’s here for her. 

“I’m going to fail,” She says quickly, “And everyone will know and think I’m dumb." She gestures with her hands, like she’s trying to explain everything to him at once. He tilts his head as he watches her, thinking that she’s beating herself up for no reason. 

“You are a badass,” He reminds her, ignoring the sharp look an older gal sends his way, “There is nothing to be worried about.” He tells her gently again, feeling like it was the hundredth time this afternoon. She inhales sharply, like she’s just been told she’s going to do something awful. Billy feels himself biting back a laugh. 

“Right,” She repeated again as she tucked and untucked her hair repeatedly, “I’m not going to crash the car and kill the passenger. I’m not going to do any of that.” Billy felt his eyes widening a bit as he realized just how much she was overthinking.

“None of that is going to happen,” He reassured her quickly, feeling like her thoughts were spiraling far too out of control, “Just picture that I’m in the car.” He furrowed his eyebrows together, hoping that thought would keep her happy. She seemed better when they drove together anyways.

“Right,” She nodded her head, looking quite pale and sickly as one of the workers walked back into the room. Billy glanced over as she shrunk further and further into her seat, “Nothing is going to happen.” She kept nodding her head and Billy feared for a moment her head would roll off. 

“Kimberly Mayfield?” The worker called out, looking from the list. A horrified sound left Kim’s lips as she shrunk even further into the chair as if she could hide herself away. Billy jabbed his fingers against her thigh softly, nudging her in that direction. She looked at him wide eyed, like she may pass out. 

“You’re going to be okay,” He told her again, doing his best to be as reassuring as possible, “Just breathe through it.” He reminded her gently. She nodded her head as she stood, wiping her palms against her clothes. He felt his lips curling into a smile as he observed her and he did his best to hide his own worry. He feared that she’d blame him if she did fail. He quickly tried to remind himself that she wouldn’t fail and regardless, it would be no one's fault even if she did. 

His leg bounced more aggressively as he fiddled with his lighter. He could feel the urge to smoke growing, but was too afraid that if he left he’d miss out on Kim returning with her results. Time seemed to drag on as he waited, and the longer he waited the more nervous he grew. He wondered if he should’ve practiced with her a little more, ensuring that she was truly ready. 

“Well?” He stood up quickly as he noticed her bumbling through the doorway. He feels a wave of relief washing over him as her lips crack into a giant smile and she’s rushing forward with the paper in her hands. He feels a wave of relief rushing through him as he realizes this is all over with. 

“I passed!” She exclaimed proudly as she steps closer, waving the paper around highly, “Just barely, but I passed!” She says happily, doing a few hops as she approaches him again. 

“See,” Billy is grinning as she fully steps in front of him, “I told you that you’d-” He’s cut off suddenly by her lips connecting against his. He stumbles back for a moment, his eyes wide as she wraps her arms around his neck. He feels so stunned by her actions that it takes him a full five seconds before he’s kissing her back.

“I, uh-,” She pulls away, her face hot as she realizes people are staring, “We should go.” She squeaks out quickly before she’s grabbing his hand and tugging him out of the room. He’s still a bit stunned himself, freely letting her yank him along before he’s coming back to his senses. He just barely picks up on the shocked expressions that are written across Steve and Robin’s features. Both of their eyes are wide and dropped and Billy isn’t able to examine much more before they’re out the door. 

“I thought you didn’t want to kiss?” He grins, watching as her face seems to light into even more flames, “I thought it would be so embarrassing?” He teases her as he tries to fight the laughter that’s forming in his chest. He glances over his shoulder, realizing that their secret really isn’t a secret anymore. 

“Shut up,” She mumbles softly as she tucks her hair behind her ear again, “I forgot where we were.” She whines, looking pitiful as she slides into the passenger seat. She slumps her shoulders forward, looking like she wants to hide away again. 

“It’s fine, we’re leaving tomorrow,” He tells her softly as he plops himself into his chair, “It’ll give people something to talk about.” He grins as he looks towards her, watching how she’s groaning into her hands this time. He can’t hold back his laugh this time as he puts the car in reverse and begins to head to the DMV.

“Max is going to hate me,” Kim continues to grumble as she hides her pink features away, “Maybe we’ll be out of here by the time everything starts to spread.” She says hopefully, like she believes her own words. Billy bites down on his bottom lip and he feels himself nodding his head, though he thinks the complete opposite.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He does his best to dismiss her worries, hoping that she won’t spiral into a panic attack. He takes one hand off of the steering wheel to grab her shaking fingers and lock them together. He doesn’t want her to freak out. 

“I don’t think Robin and Steve really saw us. Do you think they did?” She asks, sounding a little more nervous. Billy glances towards her, watching the worried features that are knitted across her face. He licks his bottom lip as he glances away. 

“Uh,” Billy pauses as he glances towards her, “Maybe it just looked like a peck.” He shrugs his shoulders, though he clearly knows it didn’t look that way. He’d kissed her back. It was more than a peck.

“Oh god.” Kim groans as she covers her face with her hands. She shakes her head back and forth, obviously trying to hide her embarrassment from him. He feels himself biting down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing at her cute expression. 

“Who cares what they think?” He asks her a little seriously this time. He thinks his question over for a moment, knowing that Kim really wanted to be friends with them. He figures it’s okay for her to start all over in San Diego. 

“They’re going to think that we’re into that type of stuff.” She says slowly, her eyes wide like she’s picturing everything that will be said about them. Billy chuckles softly, still thinking her reaction is cute. 

“We are,” Billy laughed as he watched her, “We won’t ever see them again. Just think about that.” He reminds her gently as he brings her knuckles up to his lips. A grin forms on her mouth as he kisses her skin and he hopes that he’s calmed her, if only for a moment. 

The drive to the DMV doesn’t take long and he’s pleasantly surprised that the wait takes even shorter. They’re going over Kim’s documents soon enough and ensuring that it will be sent out to Sam’s home. Billy stares at the address, remembering that the location is fairly nice. He wonders if it’s a real address at all. 

He feels as if he’s fallen even more in love as he looks at her temporary ID, his eyes wandering over her soft features and wide smile. Her eyes are full of excitement and he can feel the urge to kiss her again growing deep inside of his chest. He was sure that she was the first person he’d seen smiling in her license photo.

“I can’t believe I got it,” She said again, still staring at the piece of paper, “I can drive now.” She spoke full of excitement, like she was a little kid on Christmas morning. He grinned, thinking about how cute she’d be driving around her own car soon enough. 

“You can drive right now,” He motioned towards his car, holding the keys out towards her, “What?” He feels his features morphing into confusion by the way her eyes widen and she shakes her head. She always acts like it’s a crime to drive his car, even though he’s more than happy to let her do so.

“I don’t want to,” She admitted with a bright grin, “I like watching you drive.” She says softly, almost bashfully as she’s pulling open the passenger door. She doesn’t quite get in yet as she holds his eye contact while she’s still finishing her thoughts. 

“That so?” He asks, feeling a little amused at the way her eyes seem to light up as she speaks. He’s watching her curiously suddenly, observing the way her eyes linger against his fingers. 

“When you turn you do this cool thing where you only use one hand,” She said slowly as she slid into the passenger seat, “It’s neat.” She suddenly looks bashful again as she’s staring down at her temporary ID. She folds it neatly a few times as she rests it on her lap, looking like she hopes that he’ll forget her words. 

“Huh,” Billy cocks an eyebrow as he looks at her, “I’ve never heard that before.” He draws out slowly, liking the way that she’s suddenly squirming in her seat. Billy glances over at her as he slowly pulls his way out of the parking lot. Suddenly he’s more aware of how he’s holding the steering wheel and how he’s driving as he’s sure that Kim is watching him.

“My dad said something last night,” She breathes out slowly. He feels his mood dampen instantly at the mention of Sam as he glances towards her. Her eyes are staring forward at him, scanning over his features, “He said if things don’t work out he’d buy us an apartment.”

“What?” He jerks his head towards her sharply, feeling in disbelief over what she just admitted to him. He tries to control his motions, not wanting to narrow his eyes but also not trusting Sam at all. He feels like this is all some sort of twisted game and Sam is beating him at it. 

“Yeah,” She says gently as she glances down towards her lap, “Like for us to move into. Together.” She’s speaking again, looking a little insecure after she’s finished talking. He licked his bottom lip, feeling like his throat is a little dry. 

“Oh.” He says slowly, feeling like it’s not okay with her. He bites down on his bottom lip, gently beginning to chew on it as he wonders why she wouldn’t want to move in together. He thinks they could make it fine, even if she’s still finishing school. “Would that be okay with you?” She’s speaking even quieter and he’s suddenly realizing it has nothing to do with her not wanting to move in with him. She thinks it’s the opposite, that he doesn’t want to move in with her. 

“Of course,” He’s answering quickly as he looks over towards her again, “Why would that not be okay?” He asks a little seriously, but his lips curl up into a smile at the same time. He wonders how she can be so oblivious to the way he feels sometimes. Then again, he knows that the walls that he has placed up are his own fault. 

“I don’t know,” She shrugs her shoulders, “I’m not for sure how this works.” She motions between the two of them again. He’s thinking it over for a moment before he speaks again. 

“Being in a relationship?” He asks, seeking clarity as she’s nodding her head, “I don’t either.” He tells her with a snort, thinking that he had to be the worst person when it comes to relationships. He barely knew how to handle his own emotions, he wasn’t sure how he got away with handling Kim’s. 

“You’ve had girlfriends before,” She mentions slowly as she brings up the topic again, “I’m sure you have some idea.” She grins softly towards him. He chuckles as he shakes his head, wondering if she’ll stop pressing the issue if he finally reveals something to her. 

“Not really,” He admits slowly, not missing the way she’s leaning closer to listen, “And all of mine have been batshit crazy.” He grumbles out, a minor thought crossing his mind before he’s shaking his head. Kim’s eyes are wide as she leans in closer. 

“Really?” She knits her eyebrows together, looking at him confused. He glances towards her, really not feeling like any of those girls were important but he knows that Kim wants to hear about it. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel and begins to speak before he can change his mind. 

“Yeah,” He glances towards her, “Before our parents married I was seeing this girl, Dani, she fucking tried to hit me with her car.” He tells her seriously, the incident crossing fresh in his mind. Kim gapes, looks like she’s never heard of such a sinister story before. 

“Why would she do that?” Kim is speaking in disbelief, still looking utterly horrified as she gestures towards Billy. He feels himself pressing his tongue against his cheek, liking how easily she was always defending him. 

“Uh,” Billy pauses, knowing that her rash behavior may have had to do with him, “Caught me with someone else.” He says slowly, hating to admit that he had been unfaithful. He feels like it shouldn’t be a big deal, because other than his relationship with Kim, he had been unfaithful in all of them. He tries not to argue with himself, wondering if he had technically cheated on her with Karen as well. 

“Billy,” Kim is turning towards him, looking at him seriously, “You didn’t.” He sends her a sheepish smile, unsure of how he should respond at first. He hopes that she won’t be mad, that she won’t grow worried about him staying faithful. 

“I was a shitty boyfriend I know that,” He says quickly as he glances towards Kim, “But it doesn’t erase that she was crazy. She tried to run me over, then had the audacity to try and act like I knocked her up.” He says quickly, hoping to prove a point before Kim thought that he was completely terrible. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to open up about his previous relationships, he was sure that she would see that he was the problem. 

“Did you?” She asks him as he sighs deeply, wishing that he would’ve kept his mouth shut to begin with. 

“She was never pregnant,” He tells Kim quickly, but when he turns to look at her he can tell that she’s teasing him. Her lips are curled into a gentle smile, her head tilted and the sun making her hair look fiery, “But she was crazy.” He says as a final note. She giggles softly as she settles back into her seat. 

“You know,” She says slowly as she drifts away from her thoughts, “I really thought Adrian would’ve asked me out. He never did, well other than the time he tried to invite me over.” She mentions offhandedly. Billy stiffens a little in his seat, not quite pleased with where the conversation was going. 

“Maybe he was shy.” Billy says a little dryly, not too enthused with the topic of Adrian coming up. He knew that Adrian wasn’t shy at all, that the asshole probably had something nasty planned for Kim. He feels jealousy spreading through him as he realizes that at one point, Adrian could’ve had Kim before him. 

“I don’t think so,” She said thoughtfully, “He used to tease me and flirt with me a lot, well I think he was. Anyways, he just stopped one day.” She says briefly, like she really isn’t sure if Adrian was flirting or not. Billy tries not to snort, knowing that Kim was oblivious to anything that had to do with flirting. He was sure that other guys had been interested in the past, but she hadn’t noticed any of their actions. 

“So what? Are you wishing you’d had a chance?” He means it in a playful way, but it comes out sharper than he meant for it to. He mentally curses inside of his head, realizing how big of a dick he sounds at the moment. He begins to open his mouth to apologize but she’s speaking first, trying to clear the tension that forms in the car. 

“No,” Her eyes are wide as she’s speaking, “I was just trying to point out that you’re the only one who’s ever been interested in me.” She squeaks out quickly, her cheeks burning a little bit when she’s done talking. He falters for a moment, unsure of how he should respond to her. He knows that he’s tried flirting with her for a long time before the start of the summer and it had gone unnoticed by her. He can’t really picture himself as being the only guy that’s ever thought of her as attractive.

“Huh.” He says instead, wondering if he should bring up the fact that Tommy had apparently been longing for her for some time. He shakes that thought away, feeling like he would only make the situation worse if he did. “Are you jealous?” She asks playfully as she teases him. He glances towards her as he pulls into the driveway, unsure of how he should answer that question. He’s jealous at the thought of anyone else being with Kim. At the same time, he knew Adrian and he was fairly certain that Adrian wouldn’t have treated her nearly as well. The same goes with Tommy. 

“What’s there to be jealous of?” He smiles as he leans in to peck her lips, “I already have you.” He reminds her gently as he moves his hands across her slender neck until he’s cupping her soft cheeks. He breaths in her cherry scent before he’s moving his lips deeper against her glossed lips, enjoying how well she tastes. 

“Stop,” She giggles softly as she presses her hands up to his chest to draw him away from her, “You’re a dork.” She still speaks softly, like it’s their own little secret. He drinks in the image of her eyes, noticing that they have a golden gleam from the sun. 

“Oh, I’m the dork?” He draws out playfully, watching the way her smile grows across her lips. He brings his thumb up to trace them, unable to help himself. She rests against him playfully, pouting her lips out against his thumb before she gives his skin a gentle kiss. 

“Yeah,” She smiles sweetly, giving him one last brief kiss before she’s climbing out of the car, “Even if you don’t admit it.” She tells him in a sing-song way before she’s pulling herself out of the car. Billy can still feel his heart pittering roughly inside of his chest, too stimulated after her actions. 

//////////////

“They’re staring,” Kim says at last, whispering as she dips her head down further and further, “They know.” She sounds like she’s panicking, like she’s seconds away from breaking down into tears. Billy nudges her shoulder softly, wondering if Sam is catching on to any of this. 

The game hadn’t been going on for very long and Billy tries to brush it off, to pretend that people aren’t staring when in fact they are. He glances towards her wide hazel eyes, wishing there was a way to reassure her that everything was fine. 

“Word travels fast in a small town.” He reminds her, his eyes focusing in on the game again. He really didn’t care what anyone else had to say and he was used to people staring at him regardless. Kim squeaked in protest next to him. 

“I think I’m going to be sick.” She mumbled out. She placed her palms over her tummy, rubbing softly as if she really does have a stomach ache. He shakes his head but loses his trail of thought for a moment as his eyes stay hooked to the ball. 

“You’ll never see any of them again,” He glances towards her, “Fuck what they have to say.” He shrugs his shoulders, hoping that she’ll truly understand that it’s no big deal. She looks up at him softly, her hazel eyes wide in admiration. His eyes trail down to her pouty lips and he begins to wonder if she’d be alright if he kissed her. 

“Right,” She breathes in through her nose deeply, “It’s fine.” She tries to reassure herself again, but Billy can tell that she’s clearly still worried by the way she’s popping her knuckles again. He notices a few times that she reaches up for her hair before she realizes that it’s too short for him to grab a hold of. 

“Is something wrong?” Sam is leaning forward, looking at the two of them in confusion like he’s missed something. Which he really has. Billy still isn’t sure how they’ve managed to luck out for this long. He can’t tell if Sam is really that dumb, or if he just doesn’t care. 

“No,” Kim brushes Sam off quickly, averting her eyes from the nerves that are coursing through her. Billy feels himself biting down on his bottom lip, wondering if he should smoke the last of his weed tonight. He’d been trying to save it, just in case he needed it for the long trip to California, “Everything is fine.” She shrugs her shoulders. Sam looks at them curiously, like he doesn’t quite believe it.

“So which one is your boyfriend again?” Sam is looking back towards Max, a curious expression on his features as he awaits her answer. Billy snorts to himself as Max’s face lights up, burning brightly like Kim’s does.

“Lucas,” She’s muttering under her breath, looking like the whole concept is alien to her, “He’s over there.” She motions over, looking like she’s seconds from burying her face in her hands. Kim giggles softly next to him, obviously looking pleased with Max’s reaction.

“He bought her a stuffed animal,” Kim replies eagerly, looking like she’s gleaming as Max’s fist connects with her shoulder, “Ow!” She proclaims, pouting her lips out as she begins to rub the sore part on her arm. Billy smiles gently, wishing he could kiss her pain away. 

The game passes pretty quickly as he spends most of it trying to explain to Kim what is happening. She looks interested but mostly lost as her eyes dart back and forth on the court. He wonders what she thinks, if she feels bitter that she has to sit here and watch Jason play.

He feels a fresh wave of anger filling deep in his chest as he looks towards Jason, wondering how he could stand to be cruel to someone like Kim. He hated how Jason had made her cut her hair, when it was clear that she didn’t want to. He pressed his thigh up against hers, seeking soft reassurance as he began to explain what was happening again. 

“Let’s go get dinner, yeah?” Sam smiles after the game is finished. Billy stretches his hands high over his head, catching Kim’s eye as she glances away from his exposed skin. He feels a smirk forming as a blush forms over her freckled cheeks. 

“Sure,” Max rubs her palms against her jeans, “I’m gonna go say bye to Lucas.” She says, sounding a little upset again. Billy feels bad with the amount of moving she’s had to do the past few years. He’s sure that all of the back and forth is tiring for her. 

“Oh yeah,” Kim speaks up with a smile, “We better tell him how good he did.” She nods her head encouragingly, looking a little less embarrassed as she tucks her hair behind her ears. He finds his eyes straying against her slender fingers. 

“I’ll wait in the car,” Sam smiles as he presses a kiss against Max’s forehead, “Take your time.” He glances around as people are walking by, looking like he’s uncomfortable by the crowd. Billy begins to wonder if he’s hiding something and that’s why he wants to be alone. 

“Where’s the other shit heads?” Billy questions, noticing that Max is the only one lingering around Lucas. He was sure Lucas would have his own mini crowd. Part of him wondered if Mike was irritated with Lucas for hanging around max. 

“Oh,” Lucas shrugs his shoulders, trying to brush off the hurt in his features but it’s clearly there, “They had a D&D game.” He says quickly. Billy thinks for a moment, thinking that the term sounded familiar but he couldn’t place it. 

“D&D?” Billy questions when he’s unable to find the answer on his own. Lucas pauses for a moment, clearing his throat as if he’s a little embarrassed by the whole ordeal. Max watches him, a grin appearing on her lips. 

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Kim answers for Lucas as she glances back towards Billy, “You can’t be a princess. It doesn’t sound like it would be that much fun.” She says a second afterwards, looking a little disappointed from her words. Billy nods as the realization washes over him, but then he’s suddenly confused again. 

“They’re playing a board game instead of coming to see you?” He asks, his tone coming out a little more brash than what he meant for it to. Kim’s arm brushes against his softly, like a soft reminder as he tries to brush away his hardened features. 

“It was important,” Lucas looks like he’s trying to be brief about the subject, “It’s fine.” He says quickly, trying to shake away the accusation. Max looks towards Lucas, about to answer when Billy is speaking up again. 

“Sounds like you have shitty friends,” Billy answers honestly, unsure of why he’s so worked up suddenly. Perhaps it’s because he knows and understands what it’s like to search through the crowds of people and realize that no one has come to support you, “Do you like burgers?” He’s asking without realizing what he was saying. Kim glances towards him surprised.

“Uh,” Lucas pauses for a moment, glancing towards Max like he’s trying to figure out if this is a trick or not, “Sure, I guess.” He says at last, looking like he’s a little intimidated. Billy feels his eyebrows knitting together. 

“You guess that you like burgers?” He asks, searching for more clarity from Lucas’s statement. In all reality, he knew what Lucas meant. Billy just feels the need to throw Lucas off this time around, to make sure no one thinks that he actually cares. Although, by the look that Kim sends him, he can tell that she sees right through him. 

“No,” Lucas shakes his head quickly, “I mean yes. Yes I like burgers.” He stammers out before he’s clearing his throat and staring forward at Max again. She shrugs her shoulders, though she has a smile on her lips too. 

“Cool,” Billy answers fleetingly, “Let’s go then.” He gestures towards the exit sign, feeling the need to get out of this tiny gym. He doesn’t feel sad that this will be the last time he’s in this dumb school. It did nothing for him anyways. 

“We can ride with dad,” Max answers quickly, like she knows that Billy will give Lucas a hard time the whole way there, “We’ll meet you guys there.” She says quickly as she grabs Lucas’s hand and tugs him away. Billy finds himself snorting. 

“You don’t like that she has a boyfriend?” Kim looks towards him confused, her eyebrows beginning to knit together. She looks a little worried, as if Billy knows something that she doesn’t. 

“Oh, right,” Billy turns towards Kim, chuckling softly, “I’m not really worried about Sinclair doing anything. He’s a dweeb.” He tells her honestly. Max could be in worse hands. She could be with someone like him. 

“He’s sweet,” Kim nods her head in agreement, “Can you wait here? I have to go to the bathroom first.” She tells him, pleading a little bit as she crosses her legs as if she really has to pee suddenly. He laughs as he nods his head, watching as she scurries inside. 

Billy waits outside, leaning against the wall as he twiddles a cigarette between his fingers. The sound of the toilet flushing and water running had been a few minutes ago, leaving Billy to assume that Kim was now touching up her hair or makeup. He feels himself inhaling deeply as he continues to wait.

The sound of footsteps break him from his gaze and he feels his mood beginning to sour as Harrington approaches him. Billy supposes that he really isn’t too bad, but still has no desire to talk to him alone. However, it seems Steve has other plans as he stops short in front of Billy. 

“Can I ask you something?” Steve says suddenly, rushing the question out in a brash way. Billy feels his eyebrows rising on his forehead, though he has a feeling that he already knows what Steve’s question is. 

“You just did.” Billy says dryly, not really caring for this conversation. Billy felt like he had nothing left to hide and really didn’t give a damn what Steve thought about him. Steve’s brown eyes look down at him in confusion. 

“Earlier,” Steve draws out slowly, “I saw something odd, you know when Robin was trying to get her license.” He begins to speak with his hands, like he’s trying to get Billy to catch on without saying anything. Billy enjoys how awkward Steve seems suddenly. 

“Sounds fascinating.” Billy responds, wanting to watch Steve wiggle a little more on the spot. It’s all a bit funny to him, though Steve looks like he wants to pass away. 

“So um,” Steve is speaking up, “I saw you there with um, this person and -,” He pauses again, looking like he’s unsure of what to say, “Are you dating a mutual friend of ours?” Billy tilts his head, pretending to be confused as he listens to the brunette's words. Steve looks a little stressed, like he’s having a crisis of his mind. 

“I didn’t know we had a mutual friend.” Billy says at last, drawing out his words as slow as he can in hopes that he irritates Steve that much more. Steve pauses, his eyes darting around like he’s trying to process his own thoughts. He’s quiet for a moment before he’s speaking up again. 

“We both know this person ,” Steve says quickly, switching his words around, “Are you dating them? You kissed them.” He questions a little bit harder, looking like he’s in dire need to know this information. Billy flicks his tongue across his bottom lip. 

“Person?” Billy tilts his head back and forth again, “I’m unsure of who you’re speaking of.” He says at last, dryly as he has no plans on entertaining Steve’s wandering thoughts. 

“Okay,” Kim steps out again, a brief smile on her lips before it drops as she looks at Steve. Her face lights up brightly and Billy feels like he can read her mind as she’s clearly worried about their topic of conversation, “Hi, Steve.” She says briefly as she tucks her hair behind her ear.

“Hey,” Steve is glancing wildly between the two of them, like he’s trying to pin the dots together, “You got a haircut. It looks nice.” He compliments quickly.

“Thanks,” She responds, sounding a little awkward as she fiddles with the locket and ring around her neck, “We’re taking Lucas out for burgers. As a family. You know, all of us. Not just Billy and I. Do you want to come?” She rambles on for a moment, clearly trying to put some distinction between her and Billy. Billy snaps his head towards her, feeling disbelief rising in his chest. He does not want to spend his last night in Hawkins with Harrington.

“No, no,” Steve quickly reassures her, “Just wanted to uh catch up with Billy.” As if to prove a point he shrugs Billy on the shoulder with his fist. Billy stares at him in a stunned silence, moving a few inches away to avoid being touched again. 

“Right,” Kim squeaks out as she glances between the two of them, “It was good to see you.” Her face is bright red as she speaks, nearly darker than her hair as she glances towards Billy with urgent eyes. He lazily strides towards her, liking how flustered the two of them seem to be. 

“Yeah,” Steve nods his head in agreement, “It was great to see you too.” Billy pauses for a moment as he holds the door open with one hand. He’s unable to help himself as he grazes his hand against Kim’s ass, before moving it against her lower back to gently push her out the door. She stares at him with wide eyes, a squeak leaving her mouth as she rushes forward. 

Billy glances back towards Steve, thinking that he resembles a fish gasping for air at the moment. His lips curl into a smile as he sends the brunette boy a sly wink and a gentle wave.

////////////

They crowd into one booth. Sam, Max and Lucas on one side while Kim and Billy sit on the opposite side. He feels a bit awkward at the whole situation, but reminds himself that it was his idea to invite Lucas. 

“Any idea of what you want to do after high school?” Sams asks him. Billy watches for a moment, noticing he has a large pile of ketchup the same way Kim does. After another observation, Billy realizes that they swirl their fries in their ketchup the same way as well. He sighs, almost feeling bad for hating someone that acts just like his girlfriend. 

“No clue,” Lucas answers honestly, “I guess I haven’t really thought about it.” He says a second later. Billy watches as Kim pulls off the vegetables from her burger and slides them over to Billy. He takes them, holding them in half as he eats it without his burger. He’d almost finished his meal already, where she looked like she was just beginning to eat. 

“There’s no rush,” Sam says reassuringly, “You have a ton of options. College if you want to do it, but there’s plenty of good paying jobs that don’t require a college education either.” Billy is a little surprised at Sam’s answer because it’s the complete opposite from what Neil would say. Neil always talked about how college would get you further in life, how anyone else who didn’t take that advantage was dumb. Just like Billy was. 

“Daddy was a teacher for the longest time,” Max speaks up as she glances towards Lucas. Billy watches her, remembering how odd her eating habits were. She always picks off one thing at a time, almost like she doesn’t like her flavors to mix. She started with eating her bun first, then moved onto her vegetables before she started on the hamburger patty, “He’s doing construction right now.” Billy feels a bit interested in the switch in jobs, as Sam doesn’t really look like the type to do hard labor. 

“Oh cool,” Lucas nods his head in agreement, “I don’t think I could be a teacher.” He says suddenly and Billy drinks his milkshake in agreement. He pauses mid sip, thinking about how hard he’d have to work out to get this off of his body. 

“Kim, you still want to be one don’t you?” Sam asks, his brown eyes shining with warmth. Kim pauses for a moment as she stares down at her food. Billy watches curiously as she gulps hard before she’s nodding her head and looking up again. 

“Yeah,” She says softly, “I think it would be nice.” She tucks her hair behind her hair before she clasps her fingers together over her lap. She looks deep in thought for a moment, which makes Billy curious. He couldn’t recall her mentioning switching careers. 

“Dad,” Max looks towards him, “Can you take a picture?” She looks a little awkward as she speaks. She darts her eyes around before giving Sam a pointed look, making Billy feel like they had definitely discussed this previously. 

“Oh yeah,” He smiles towards her, “I’d love to.” He nods his head eagerly, looking a little too happy for Billy’s liking. Billy watches as Lucas gently nudges Max’s shoulder and she begins to sport her own blush. 

“I can take it.” Billy interjects, feeling like he doesn’t really belong for some reason. He doesn’t know why the feeling has washed over him, but it sends an ill feeling through him. Sam shakes his head as he pulls his camera out from his bag. 

“No, it’s fine,” Sam stands up quickly, “Let me get a picture of the couples.” He smiles brightly, not realizing the context of his words. Billy feels his eyes widen and he shares a look with Max and Kim. 

“Couples?” Lucas looks taken aback, confusion written deep across his features. Kim’s cheeks are red, nearly redder than Max’s as the two girls quickly try to think of an excuse. 

“Like two on both sides!” Max answers quickly, laughing to brush it off. She motions towards her and Lucas, before she motions to Kim and Billy as if to point out that there were two on each side. Lucas still looks a little confused, but says nothing in protest. 

“Yeah,” Kim laughs too and Billy can tell it’s from being uncomfortable, “He’s just silly.” She brushes off the confused look on Sam’s features as she turns to face the camera. Billy does his best to keep from laughing, but figures that Lucas will be no stranger to the news come the morning. 

Billy lets his hand rest along her waist, pulling her closer as he lays his chin on top of her shoulder. He feels himself smiling a real smile as he pulls her a little closer to him. Kim relaxes against his touch and he wonders if she has the same mindset as Sam snaps the picture. 

“Looks good,” Sam confirmed with a smile, “You’ll have to come and visit, Lucas.” He says as he takes his seat again. Lucas nods his head, already diving back into his meal. 

“Oh that would be awesome,” Lucas says honestly, “I’ve never been to the beach.” He drifts off in his thoughts for a moment, like he’s trying to picture what it would be like. Max’s eyes widen as she looks at Kim and Billy. She quickly jerks her head to the side, looking like she could kill him as he slowly releases Kim from his grasp. Billy turns back to his milkshake, thinking about how freeing it’ll be to have Kim in public whenever he wants. 

///////////

Kim and Billy make it back to the trailer first, as Sam had been kind enough to drop Lucas off at his house. Billy hopes that he takes the long route or strays from the house so he can have at least some time alone with Kim.

“What are you doing?” She giggles against his mouth as he pulls her closer. One of his hands press down against her soft backside while he brings the other one up to cup one of her boobs. He squeezes softly, earning a moan from her.

“What do you think?” He teases, his teeth lightly brushing against her pouted out lips. She breathes in deeply, like she’s trying to inhale his breath as he slowly works on removing her clothes. He thinks that she looks far better than any of the models and actresses that he’s seen in his magazines and videos. He feels his cock beginning to ache and he wonders if he should take some more pictures for his own pleasure.

“Want you,” She breathes out, suddenly just as lustful as she crashes her lips against his in a rougher manner. He groans against her lips, letting his fingertips brush against her hardening nipples. She pressed her naked body up against his jeans, gasping as he gently tugs on them, “Billy, please.” She whines, sounding as desperate as he feels.

He moves his hands up to her shoulders, holding onto them softly before he’s pushing her onto the bed. She squeals in glee, bouncing for a few seconds as a wide smile spreads across her lips. He feels his own grin spreading as he quickly strips himself down. 

His cock is hard, aching with the need to be touched by her but he ignores that feeling for right now. He watches how curious her eyes grow as he tugs open his dresser, pulling out his remaining condom and a bottle of lube. He reaches in deeper for a moment and pulls out the vibrator, waving it around playfully as he watches her body flush.

“I can’t stay quiet,” She says quickly, looking worried as he joins her on the bed. He rests the vibrator next to him as he lets his fingertips trace over his cool skin. She stares up at him intensely, her body warming underneath his touch, “Someone will hear.” She tells him urgently, like she’s searching for a way out of it.

“Awe,” He mocks her as he pouts his bottom lip out and tilts his head to the side, “Should I gag you?” He asks her seriously, feeling his cock beginning to throb as he pictured her with her mouth stuffed with her cute panties. Her eyes widened.

“No,” She answers quickly, looking over at him innocently. He groans softly as he grips her small waist, squeezing it softly. He has an urge to shove his cock between her pouty lips but quickly ignores it, wanting to see her wiggling underneath him instead, “I’ll be quiet.” She moaned out. 

“Good,” He leans close enough that he can lick her bottom lip. She sighs, parting her lips widely as he flicks his tongue across her tongue this time. He spreads her legs slowly, his fingers tickling against her skin before he’s reaching for the vibrator, “So pretty.” He tells her honestly, feeling like he’s obsessed with all of her.

He gently pressed the vibrator against her cunt, teasing it with her slowly before he’s turning it on. Her eyebrows widen on her forehead, her lips parting in awe as a gasp rolls off of her tongue. She moans as she flickers her eyes up towards him. 

“Feels good,” She told him quickly. He grins, listening to the vibrations as he slowly rubs it up and down her wet cunt, “Oh!” She gapes, her hips stuttering as he presses it up against her clit. He enjoys the way her features contort in pleasure. 

“Yeah?” He questions her softly as he brushes his lips against the crook of her neck. He inhales her sweet scent as she tilts her head in pleasure. He chuckles softly as she lets out a cracked moan. 

“Uh huh,” She spits out roughly, her hips jolting forward as he lazily rotates the vibrator around her clit, “Oh god!” She cries out as he presses his fingers down against her hips. She moans, her head falling back onto the pillows as he presses it down a little harder.

“Don’t wanna be too loud,” He teases her watching the way her eyes slowly fall upon him. Her eyebrows are knitted in pleasure, pulled tightly together as she writhes underneath him, “What will your poor daddy think?” He questions her, liking the way her face begins to flush. He smacks the side of her thigh when she doesn’t answer.

“He’d think I’m bad.” She says harshly, her hips still continuing to grind up against the toy. He groans, watching how the vibrator continues to get wetter and wetter. He slowly grinds it down against her clit, watching the way she tries to move up against it. 

“Are you a bad girl?” He whispers in her ear, earning a shiver from her as she quickly shakes her head. He groans, moving his lips down to kiss the curve of her face. He drags his teeth across her skin gently as she tries to quieten her sounds of pleasure. 

“No.” She whimpers, shaking her head in order to dismiss the statement completely. His cock is throbbing and precum is dripping out of his slit as he fights the urge to jerk himself off. He focuses on her again as she rolls her hips forward in awe. 

“Then keep those pretty sounds quiet,” He tells her, although he’d still really like to see Sam’s horrified expressions. He feels like he’s doing it more for Max’s sake, just in case they are already back, “You’ve gotta be a good girl, yeah?” He groans out softly, wanting to feel her cunt squeezing along his cock. 

“Yeah,” She lets out a choked moan, clearly struggling to listen to him as she tries to fight the sounds from coming out too loudly. Her eyebrows are knitted together tightly as her hips move up roughly. Billy groans as she bites down on her bottom lip, and he quickly realizes how close she is, “Oh, Billy!” She shouts a little louder this time. She presses her hand overtop of his, taking him by surprise as she grinds herself up against the toy.

She cums with a loud cry, her hips stalling as she presses her cunt against the vibrator harder. Her legs shake against his as she wiggles her body, crying out as the pleasure smacks into her. Billy quickly silences her with his own lips, letting her sweet moans invade his mouth instead. 

“Fuck,” He hisses out as he removes the toy away from her, not expecting her to cum so quickly. He grabs her hips, not giving her a long recovery period before he’s flipping her around on the mattress. She moans as she turns to rest on her cheek, looking up at him with wide eyes, “So wet.” He tells her as he lightly drags his fingertips across her folds. 

She gapes, her body jolting forward as he presses his fingertips against her wet hole. He slowly slides to fingers inside of her, enjoying the high pitched moan that falls free from her lips. He groans, watching how his digits disappear inside of her.

“Billy,” She whines lazily as her fingertips travel across the mattress, “You feel so good.” She spits out in awe. He slowly pumps his fingers inside of her, curling them deeply as she begins to moan around him. He reaches forward a bit, gripping the lube and letting a sizable amount drip down between her cheeks. She gasps again as he uses his other fingertips to spread it across her hole.

He dips between her legs as he pumps his fingers inside of her, enjoying the way she’s moaning around him. He flicks his tongue out, licking away the remnants of her slick. Her hips stutter again as he slides another finger inside of her, enjoying how well she stretches around him. 

He kisses up her body slowly before he’s licking his tongue around her puckered hole. She gasps at the new sensation, her wet walls squeezing around his fingers as he slowly prods his tongue against her hole. She moans a little harder as he rocks her body back and forth against his fingers and tongue. 

He curls his fingers deeper inside of her, rocking them against her bundle of nerves as she bites down on her fist. He continues to curl his tongue against her puckered hole. He spits slowly, watching it trickle down between her cheeks before he presses the vibrator against her hole. She sighs loudly despite biting down harshly on her hand. 

He slides the vibrator in with ease, his cock throbbing with need as he watched the way she clamped down around the toy. He feels a groan falling free from his lips at the tight way she begins to milk his fingers, her body jolting forward as she quickly turns her head back to look at him. 

“Billy,” She moans out, sounding prettier than any song he’d ever heard, “Won’t last.” She spits out roughly, her eyes fluttering harshly as she tries to control her breathing. He smirks down at her, fully prepared to feel her fall apart underneath him. He wanted to see her wiggling with pleasure, and needed to see her begging for more. 

“S’alright,” He promises her, cooing softly as he continued to stroke his fingers against her bundle of nerves. He rocked the two into her with the same motions, enjoying how she was licking at her lips to keep from drooling. He resisted the urge to rut up against her thighs, knowing it would be worth it in a few minutes, “You’re doing so good for me.” He praised her. 

She cried out, her fingers curling into fists against the sheets as she rocked her hips back to meet him. She was grinding back deeply, like she was unsure of which side felt better. She began to kick her feet against the mattress, moaning loudly as her cunt clamped down around his fingers. He groaned, feeling her come undone underneath him.

“God,” She whimpered, her voice straining as she tried to keep herself quiet, “Fuck.” She spit out, making his cock lurch at her dirty words. He hissed in response, continuing to pump his fingers inside of her as he waited for her to come down from her high.

“So pretty,” He mumbled as he slowly removed the toy. He smacked her ass hard, earning a moan from her before he slowly removed his fingers from her cunt. He licked them clean slowly, enjoying the taste of her sweet cunt, “How’s that feel?” He asked her honestly as he gripped her hips. He slowly rocked her back against him, groaning as his hard cock slid between her drenched folds. 

“Good,” She moaned as she turned to look back at him with hazy eyes, “I wanna feel you.” She told him urgently, nodding her head as if he needed any other encouragement from her. He smirked as he squeezed her flesh between his fingertips. 

“You just can’t get enough, can you?” He asked her, his hips pressed up against her skin completely as he rocked against her. He sighed deeply as hee closed his eyes, feeling an urge to fuck into her right away. 

“Never,” She whimpers as she grinds back against him, whimpering as he’s sure that she’s sensitive from the contact, “Please, big brother.” She moans as lust clouds inside of her darkened eyes. He groans, quickly pulling away so he’s the one laying on the bed.

“Come here,” He pats his lap playfully, his cock so stiff that it was beginning to hurt. She moved quickly as she clambered on top. He groaned louder than usual as her fingers wrapped around his cock and slowly pumped it up and down in her hand. He hissed, watching the way his cock was leaking down her slender fingers, “Come on.” He smacked the side of her ass, the sound ringing in the room as he did his best to encourage her. 

“Hey,” She whined softly, looking down at him through heavy eyes as she pressed his tip up against her gaping hole. He bit his lip, knowing that they really should use the condom but also felt like he wanted to feel every part of her, “Be nice.” She chastised him softly, looking amused as she slowly sank down on his cock.

The amusement quickly left her features as he filled her. Her lips parted widely, her eyes closed as she slowly rolled her head back. He groaned in awe as he took a hold of her hips, squeezing tightly as he pressed his cock deeper inside of her. He exhaled hard, her cunt squeezing him tightly as he easily slid in and out of her from how wet she was.

“Mhm,” He hummed softly, the desire to move her on his own was growing as she slowly wiggled her hips around. He smacked her ass again, biting his lip as her gasps mingled in the air. She looked down at him, a hint of a smile pulling on her lips as she leaned forward to rest her palms against his chest, “Come on.” He urged her, letting his fingers dig into her skin a little deeper.

Her lips parted as she began to move, angling herself as she began to move herself up and down the length of his cock. He moved his hands up her body slowly until he was gripping her tits, giving them a squeeze as she pressed herself down harder on his cock. He watched her, feeling a sense of bliss settling inside of his chest. The moonlight dipped in through the window, radiating her features. 

Soft moans fell free from her lips as her cunt clamped down around his cock, squeezing his girth harshly as she built up a steady rhythm. His groans filled the room, mingling with hers as her pussy leaked around his throbbing cock. He kept his hands against her perky tits, squeezing them in his large hands as she rolled her hips back and forth. He grunted softly, feeling his balls tightening at how good she felt, at how good she looked. 

“Oh, fuck,” She cursed again, her eyebrows knitting together in pleasure as she rode him. He groaned, beginning to lazily roll his hips up to meet her movements. He could feel her slick sliding down the length of his cock, beginning to drip down his tight balls. He moved his fingertips further apart, just enough that he could pinch her pink nipples between them, “Oh my god.” She cried out a little louder, clearly overstimulated.

He huffed harshly, already breathing in rough patterns from how good it all felt. He’d felt like he teased himself for too long and feared that he wouldn’t be able to last for too long. Her pussy was clenched around him too tightly, milking him as she kept her frantic movements. He began to thrust his hips up a little harder, unable to help himself as the pleasure overtook him.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” He spit out harshly, looking down between their bodies to watch the way he disappeared inside of her pretty cunt. He groaned, wishing he had a bit of a better view to watch the way she stretched around him, “You’re such a good little slut.” He spit out, his mind beginning to feel fuzzy from the bliss that was traveling up his body. 

“Uh huh,” She nodded her head lazily in agreement as she rolled her hips deeply, trying to push more of him inside of her. He groaned, listening to the sinful sounds that their bodies made as they mixed together. He pushed his hands up further, gripping the base of her neck as he roughly tugged her mouth down upon his. He kissed her sloppily, sliding his tongue across her teeth, the roof of her mouth and her tongue. He licked at anything that he could find as her body pressed down against his, “Billy.” She whimpered against his mouth, her words coming out awkwardly as his tongue flicked against hers. 

Her perky tits rubbed against his chest as he moved one hand down the curve of her spine. He pressed it down harshly against the base of her back, keeping her still as he began to thrust his hips up into her wet cunt. She wiggled against him, moaning deeply as her cunt clamped down around his cock.

“Oh, oh!” She pulls a few centimeters away, a line of drool connecting the two of them as she shudders on top of him. Her eyes roll in the back of her head as her head collapses next to Billy’s. He grips her waist as he furiously begins to fucking into her.

He claws at her hips, sighing in awe as he presses himself deep inside of her. He cums harshly, keeping her still as he paints her walls white. He breaths in rapidly, panting harshly as he lets his head fall back against the pillows.

Everything feels too hot, too warm but he’s unable to push her away. She feels too good and he doesn’t want to lose that contact. She’s still shivering a little bit, soft moans leaving her mouth as she nudges her nose against the side of his cheek. They’re quiet for a moment, the two of them continuing to come down from their high. 

“Hi,” Kim grins as she pushes the blonde hair away from his forehead, “You’re really sweet, you know that?” The statement confuses him a bit as he feels like he was just fairly rough with her. He wonders what she sees in him. 

“Now you’re acting a little crazy,” He teases her, a grin cracking upon his lips as she smiles down at him. She continues to brush her fingertips against his forehead, sending chills up his spine. He enjoys the sensation, wants to feel more of it actually. 

“Billy,” She whispers into the night air, her eyes glancing over his features, “Tell me something else that nobody knows.” He feels like it’s all a little too intimate as his softening cock is still buried inside of her wet cunt. He pauses as he looks into her eyes and notices the cloud of sadness lingering there again. She always looks like she has a storm cloud forming inside of them. 

“I still think I’m going to wake up one day and this will be a dream,” He says softly, shifting his head against his pillow as he watches her, “You’ll realize that you can do better.” He doesn’t meet for it to sound pitiful or even sorrowful, but it does. He thinks of her as a dream anyways, that one day she will be far out of his grasp. 

“You are what I want,” Kim observes him as she speaks up, her features contorted in confusion, “There’s no one better than you.” He snorts at her response, although she looks fairly serious from her own words. She pokes his chest softly. 

“You just don’t know what you’re missing out on.” He says a second later. She’s never been with anyone else, never had to experience to know what else she could have. She looks at him seriously as she tilts his head towards him. 

“I know that I love you,” She tells him seriously, like she doesn’t want to debate it anymore,  “And that I can’t picture being with anyone else. You shouldn’t doubt that.” She tells him more firmly this time around. He bites his bottom lip, unsure of how he should answer her. 

“Why do you care about the other girls I’ve been with?” He asks her this time, wondering if there truly is some jealousy hidden away. He doesn’t know how many times he needs to confirm that she truly is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. She’s like an angel and he certainly doesn’t deserve her. 

“I just want to know,” She says gently, as she rolls her fingertips through his chest hair, “I feel like I don’t know enough about you.” She says at last, surprising him a little bit. He feels the opposite, like she knows more about him than he knows about himself. 

“You probably know me better than anyone else.” He tells her with a small laugh, thinking that her statement was silly. She doesn’t look at him, instead she stares at the necklace around his neck and gently begins to press her fingers against it. 

“I don’t feel that way.” She admits slowly, looking like she wants to say more but stops herself. She chews on her bottom lip as he slowly rubs circles into her bruised hips. He feels a bit bad as he looks at her skin, wonders if he ever hurts her and she just neglects to say so. 

“Why is that?” He asks her, searching for more clarity. He feels like she’s been more shut away than usual, harder to pry open. He knows she’s dealing with a lot, but hopes she still understands that he can trust her. 

“You’re well guarded,” She says at last, “Even from me at times.” She admits as she finally brings her eyes up to his again. He stares at her for the longest time, drinking in the color in her eyes as he shifts underneath her a bit. He holds her still, keeping her from moving off of him. 

“I don’t try to be.” He tells her seriously, hoping that she realizes that. He knows there’s still things he needs to open up to her about, to explain to her. But the time isn’t right yet. He still fears that she’ll shun him away if she hears about some of the things that he’s done in his past. He doesn’t know how to explain his feelings or which drugs he preferred to use when he didn’t want to think about everything else. 

“I know,” Kim presses her fingertips across his shoulder and slowly travels down the length of his arms. She links their fingers together, holding onto him as she squeezes softly, “I think there’s a reason why you do it.” She tells him gently, almost as if she expects him to argue with her. He keeps quiet, sure that there really is a reason why he keeps himself so well guarded. 

He watches her for some time as the night air fills their room. He can’t imagine ever being with someone else or feeling this way towards anyone else. He feels a flutter forming in his heart as he memorizes the lines on her face. 

He still felt guilty for leaving Neil, but he knew he’d only feel worse if he let Kim leave without him. Not that he really thought that she’d allow it anyways. He felt a little more comfortable in the fact that he knew she was just as protective of him as he was of her. 

“I love you.” He repeated, feeling like he’d said that sentence so many times within the course of a few months. He meant it though. He wanted to make sure that she remembered it, that it stuck with her forever. She gazed down at him softly again before she leaned forward to brush her lips against his.

“I love you too.” 

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Requesting non-romantic headcanons of the four Weston dorms (separate) having a student in their house that's the go-to inventor and fixer, who always has their head in the clouds about the next thing to make

They fix and make things just fine, it's just the process of making and testing that cause messes in the dorm

Like Violet having to deal with the fact this is the second time they've broken an important pipe, or Greenhill with broken windows after some automatic ball-throwing thingy-majig meant to help them with cricket practice (to be fair, Midford did ask for it) wouldn't turn off

bahahaha this is so good! poor boys XD

Well, it’s sort of like a problem for the dorms, of course. Does he care as much? Hmm… no, not really. Until it starts to directly affect him (here meaning affecting his frequent naps), he doesn’t pay (Name) too much thought. Most of the issues, Edgar tends to sleep through and leave for others.

Most of the time, he leaves all the problems that this person causes to Maurice to sort out. Either him or Joanne, depending on who happens to be available. … It usually falls to Maurice given that he has more of a backbone than Joanne. Edgar essentially shrugs and says, “Cole, take care of it, won’t you?” rather than deal with it himself. It’s half legitimate depression making it difficult for him to actually do things, and half him just being lazy and not feeling like doing things.

About the time that (Name) ‘fixes’ Edgar’s favorite sofa by replacing it with one they made which is too soft and completely swallows him when he sinks into it, that’s when he starts getting involved. They can’t mess with his sleep schedule like this and just think it’s going to be fine! He tries to convince them to stop, threatening Y’s if they don’t at least stop… fixing… things that he frequently uses.

As bothersome as the whole thing is, Gregory is at least more proactive than Edgar in the same situation. While he tries not to be harsh, he doesn’t pull punches in reminding (Name) that, well, they’ve broken the pipe, so they need to fix it now. (Both times, in fact.) He keeps reminding them until it gets done.

If nothing else, he has the honor to not send Cheslock to do his dirty work. Cheslock just gets sent on errands to fetch things. Gregory wants so badly to simply ban (Name) from doing any testing in their dorm. He’s not very diplomatic, either, struggling to find the right way to say, “Listen, I appreciate your fixing things round here, but you have to be more careful not to break other things while you’re fixing the first thing, alright?”

The broken pipes are, quite honestly, the biggest headache that he has to deal with. Being that Violet Wolf is full of artists of all kinds, the dorms are filled with instruments and projects. Any of them getting ruined is more complicated than having to replace books which are already in circulation or sports equipment that wears out quickly. It’s a blow to one’s creativity. And water damage is spectacularly effective in destroying art, writing, and musical instruments. (Name) has to learn how to be more careful in general, but especially he needs them to not break any more pipes lest they want to also break artists’ hearts.

Is potentially the most frustrated by it than his friends would be. Though anyone who had to deal with it would be irritated, Herman has to try extra hard not to let his temper get the best of him. He knows that (Name) is just trying to be of service, which is admirable… so why does it get under his skin so much?? Because they’ve been told multiple times to be more careful and it feels like they just aren’t listening? Dammit. He knows they don’t mean to be so spacey…

At first he’s quite happy to have someone inventing things which will help him and the rest of the house improve their game. He even encourages it. Sports and cricket in particular are something he’s passionate about, so he’s excited to see what they come up with. Until they come up with a machine — at Edward’s request — that pitches balls and happens to also break windows. Clearly things have gone sideways, so he’s fast in getting (Name) to not make any more sports inventions.

He’s so disheartened by the broken windows. They’re a gigantic pain in the rear to fix, and it often means a day or two wasted in replacing the glass depending on how many were broken. In the meantime, the dorm is exposed to cold, rain/snow, or blistering heat, as well as insects. There’s not much help from anyone else because of the house rivalries. So he absolutely recruits (Name) in helping fix it; it’s at least half their fault and half Edward’s for the initial suggestion, so neither of those two are getting out of helping with repairs. And Herman will gladly crack the metaphorical whip if he needs to.

Good Lord, can he have no rest at all? No? Fine, then. He’s endlessly aggravated by the whole situation, but he tries very hard to keep his composure. Lawrence can at least appreciate the intelligence of a scientific mind such as (Name)’s, so he attempts to nurture that. Of course, that’s incredibly hard to do when they keep causing trouble in the dorm despite not meaning to.

He’s another one who might send his fag to deal with this if he’s a bit too busy to do it himself. (Though as opposed to Edgar, Lawrence does so not because of depression or laziness, rather because he genuinely is quite busy with studies and extracurriculars.) Clayton has a sadistic streak which Lawrence finds useful in firmly reminding (Name) that they have something to clean up or that Lawrence needs them to not tinker around with something in a certain area today.

More exhausting than anything is if he has to keep replacing books thanks to (Name)’s inventions. It’s not uncommon that their experiments and projects will end up accidentally tearing apart books entirely or shredding pages or destroying them in some other fashion. Lawrence’s respect for the written word and pride in his dorm’s personal book collection can’t take much more of this! Not to mention that the books are often required for coursework, so it legitimately hurts everyone’s marks. Isn’t (Name) at all bothered by this???

[dgknightblue]

Tucker: Geez what are you anyway?

Grif: Some type of mythical creature or just some dude, why?

Tucker: You’re not that bad looking so I thought you’d ask someone out by now.

Grif: I’m not looking for anyone, man.

Tucker: Too much work?

Grif: Yeah and come on, as charismatic as I am they get wise to my bull too fast.

Tucker: Bow chica wow wow

Grif: Too low

Tucker: Whatever, I bet you five bucks you’ll be single forever at this rate.

Grif: Why not higher?

Tucker: You’re poor as fxck.

Grif: Yet I always manage to make food appear and disappear at will.

Tucker rolls his eyes.

Grif: Tell you what, if the man of my dreams falls into my arms in the next ten seconds I’ll give you twenty.

Simmons poofs above Grif and into his waiting arms.

Simmons: Uh… hi.

Grif: *cough* h-hi….

Simmons: You can put me down now…

Grif: Right….

Simmons: Sorry about that, I was just testing out some spells….it uh malfunctioned.

Grif: I can see that, yeah.

Simmons:

Grif:

Tucker: If you blush any harder, I think you’ll invent a new shade of red.

Grif: Shut the fxck up, Tucker.

Simmons: Well, I-it was nice to meet you, Grif!

Grif: How’d you know my name?

Simmons, flustered: Oh! I! Um… I kind of… noticed… you…. Around… and I… cough…wanted to talk to you… for a while… I mean! I! Was interested you…. In the “I want to talk you” kind of way! Like uuuuhhh being your friend! I mean! I! I! Cough… I-I’m going to go stab a bxtch now….haha… Donut, you Fxck I’m going to kill you!

Simmons runs off to chase Donut the second he noticed him watching. Grif is still blushing and Tucker smirks.

Tucker: Hey dude… Isn’t that the guy you’re completely enamored with from the Library? That you go to the library to watch instead of sleeping? You still haven’t stopped staring at- HOLY FXCK HE ACTUAL PULLED OUT A KNIFE, RUN DONUT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Grif:…. Sigh…. He’s so cute.

Tucker: I suggest you either sleep with one eye open or tie him down so you don’t wake up with him hovering over you with a knife or some shxt.

Grif: Fxck off

Tucker responds by flipping him off in return. They watch him straddle Donut and start punching.

Tucker: Bull shxt, he’s not a top.

Donut grapples Simmons off to stand and throw a punch. Simmons tries to shake the hit and retaliates with one to the gut. A crowd of pedestrians watch.

Donut starts throwing things and they all see how flexible and agile Simmons is as he cartwheels away.

Grif: Hey Tucker…

Tucker: Yeah?

Grif: Where can I get-

Tucker: cxndxms?

Grif: No, xsshole. Courting gifts.

Tucker: I don’t know what you are so I can’t make any recommendations, but flowers and small useful trinkets are a safe bet in getting closer.

Tucker: However, he’s half Elf so look up some general things that Elves like and go from there.

Grif: I don’t stand a fxcking chance do I?

Tucker: Not one.

Grif:

Tucker:

Tucker: You owe me 20.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw// teen pregnancy scare, light mention of sex

I just need to let this out i feel so alone.

Uhm. I'm horrified. For context, I'm in high school. I have an older boyfriend and we had intercourse twice recently. He was my first. We didn't use protection, he pulled out. I'm not sure why I agreed. It's so stupid. I guess I'm just young and naive. I've been hypesexual my entire life and just needed to feel something.

I'm supposed to get my period tomorrow though it tends to be one or two days late at times. I've been sick, like a cough/virus which has nothing to do anything but now i can't figure out if my symptoms are overlapping with..early pregnancy. Because generally when i cough a lot my gag activates, I've had that problem since covid and the pandemic. So if I throw up i have no proof of what it is. I'm also supposed to be in PMS which would explain the symptoms AGAIN and my paranoia as I get really really emotional at this time. So now i have to suffer and wait out the next few days.... My bf knows and I feel bad for stressing him out. I can't tell anybody else i know irl. Obviously because I'm still at school and plus most people don't even know I'm in a relationship, including my parents. My parents think i haven't even had my first kiss and the thought of the possibility of having to break THESE news to them is terrifying.

(slight tw for a mental breakdown here)

When i was looking at early symptoms i was home alone and i had the worst breakdown I've had in over a year or ever actually. I was screaming inside my room. I stared punching my gut hoping that "it'll" just... go away somehow. I can't have this child. I do not want to. Not now. Not ever, actually. I always said I'll never have kids for so many reasons including generational trauma and my own mental issues. I feel kind of sick today but i felt even more yesterday because the night before that I was at a concert and got really tired, and slightly drunk. So many possibilities and I'm paranoid over the worst one. I feel so fucking stupid. If i find out it's true I don't think I could take it. I'd break apart completely.

hello this is the pregnancy person again. I would like to update. I realized that i cloud be having an anti-placebo (or nocebo) effect from the fear of pregnancy. Because as soon as i read that i felt better physically. And the more i read about the symptoms yesterday the more i "noticed them". Now I'm just hungry because i didn't eat lunch yet. No nausea. And then another thing happened.. I saw blood on my underwear. And now i have no idea if my period is early or if that's early pregnancy bleeding… Of fuck me here we go again. I'm losing my mind and patience…

hey, pregnancy anon here. Got my period. We're good.

Hi anon,

Please know that your concerns about what happened are absolutely valid. It's common to become very health conscious and worry when you rely on the pullout method, especially when you begin to notice signs that you may be pregnant (although it sounds like you aren't, fortunately). This experience highlights the importance of having some kind of protection or contraception during sex, at least so you can have some peace of mind.

I don't know how long you've been with this boyfriend or if either of you have been tested, but because you've had unprotected sex with him, I strongly recommend looking into getting tested for STIs. Even if you aren't showing any symptoms, some STIs can lie dormant in your system and you can also become a carrier (meaning you carry the STI and can transmit it but don't show symptoms). I know you said you're in high school so if you're 18 you may be able to book an appointment with an OBGYN yourself. If you're under 18, your school nurse may have some recommendations.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[zeck143]

ideas for Cas9 tactical:

Yes they're all puns, fight me

snap draggin

bites enemies for 10-15 dmg to health, and pings for Cas9 on map

or

pulls multiple enemies to a center point (like ash's snare) for 5-10 dmg, immediate release

take stalk

attaches to first enemy to come by, alerts Cas9 pins outline to them for 5 seconds, can plant multiple stalks

(kind of like Hound, but is triggered rather than instant and can only attach to one player at a time)

(...so sort of like ash’s passive but better)

branch out

creates a small platform to walk across, up to 6(stealing Catalyst's concept tact because I’m still bitter)

thorn down

thorny patch that deals damage and slows because Alec was right when thinking of it first

(fucking catalyst)

aloe there

pulls players within range to 1-2M away, causes 5-10 dmg to enemies(after typing it out, i thought “oh fuck that's just Roadhog's hook”)(or path’s zipline if you attach it to an enemy)

at bay / bushed away / bush back

pushes enemies back a small distance (like 2-5M) for a small amount of damage, pretty much a punch at a distance(might rework this because the image of it funny as hell to me)

patched up

something something health

power plant

something something shields

names without abilities

bark's bite

rough patch

plot twist 

thyme crunch

party thyme

hem locked

feeling vine

log in/out

I’m already dead set on his passive being called “Upsy Daisy” which, revives allies in a quicker time and gives them a small bonus of health

He was supposed to be named Catalyst because his ult relied on vials of catalyzing agents (technically they can also be called an enzyme). He holds out his bowl and you can choose to heal or harm and throw a distance (either the L or R button). Sort of like Moira? Only it doesn’t bounce around and is grounded, lasting for... 8-10 seconds? Not sure if that is a fair amount of time.

I remember when the dev’s were testing out abilities with the Dummy’s Day Out event. They had an ability that allowed an immediate heal for a certain radius. Problem with that included you being the center of the heal, and it also healing enemies (from this event, they fixed Mirage’s ult into ‘dance party’. remember seeing 6 mirages standing in a field? good times).

If you think it takes too much time, think of Newcastle’s, Path’s or Ash’s ults. You need to aim those strategically and can’t immediately spam throw them down without tact like you can with Lifeline’s, Caustic’s or Horizon’s. I mean you can, but it might not be as accurate if you want to plan things out.

The ult still needs a name though. Hm.. Vile vial? The plant’s named Captain Fuzzy Britches... Fuzzing around? It’s based on oleander (appearance), venus fly and guarana (as a mouth and center), lotus flowers (roots), and vine snakes (body). As well as a made up plant called “whistler reeds” (typha sibilus aurae) to explain the noises it makes. It sounds like when you blow through a leaf or grass to whistle. So like a chimera. I wanted to add more animal genes, but too much and it’ll be obvious. Nature’s course?

[noxemma]

This is awesome! I can just imagine Dean accidentally manifesting himself into being an angel.

---

The signs are subtle at first. A green flare in his eyes every once in a while, his wounds healing a bit faster than normal, his punch a little too strong, his movements a little too fast. Then, Dean accidentally smites a monster, which is anything but subtle.

Dean refuses to talk about it on the drive home, but he allows Sam to do a bunch of tests and spells when they get back to the bunker.

Sam: Okay, so I don't know how, but according to this you’re … an angel.

Dean: Nope. Not possible. Jack is the only one who can make people into angels, and I think I’d remember if he did that to me.

Sam: Well maybe you’re, I don’t know, evolving? We should probably call Cas, maybe he knows something?

Dean: I’m not a damn Pokémon, Sam! Humans don’t just evolve to be angels. I'm sure it's just a spell or something, no need to worry Cas.

Sam: The tests are clear, Dean. You are an angel, somehow. And, well, I wasn’t really supposed to be a witch or do magic either. So, I don’t know. Maybe, without Chuck writing the story, anything is possible?

Dean: Yeah, then where are my wings, huh? Angels have wings, right?

Sam: Hmm. Well, Cas could manifest them. Maybe you do have them, but you just have to will then to appear?

Dean squeezes his eyes tight and tries.

Sam: Dude, you look like you’re constipated. If you have wings, they’re a part of you, so just think of something that’s second nature.

Dean rolls his eyes but tries again. He thinks of getting into Baby, turning the key and hearing her engine purr, the crank of the gear shift, the breeze with the windows down.

Sam: Whoa!

Dean opens his eyes, again flaring green, to see Sam staring slightly behind him. He turns his head a bit and sees gleaming wings protruding out of his back.

Sleek metal feathers tick and shift as they settle into place, the color a perfect match to Baby when she’s freshly washed and waxed. The feathers attach to chrome bones, nearly identical to the Impala’s grill and trim, that shine even in the dimness of the bunker.

Everything is impossibly light and intricately bolted and geared together in a way Dean can't ever hope to understand. With barely a thought he commands the wings stretch a bit then pull in close to his back. They obey, small gears and parts moving swiftly and efficiently, powered by the new energy source burning in him.

Dean: What the hell? See! Not an angel, angels don't have metal wings.

Sam: Well, you said yourself, you’re not a Pokémon, so maybe you're a ... self-made angel?

Dean: What? Like Angel 2.0?

Sam: I mean, weirder things have happened.

Dean tries not to care, but deep down he kinda hopes that he is some kind of angel or at least angel adjacent. That maybe he might just be able to keep the awesome wings, that maybe he's become a little bit more like Cas

Sam: Do they even work?

Dean grins excitedly, the steel feathers humming and whirring in response as they flutter.

Dean: Only one way to find out.

Dean doesn't know if he's got angel radio like Cas (and he doesn't feel like trying to figure it out), so he opts for prayer. Dean: Hey, Cas. We kinda got a thing here. Nothing bad, at least I don't think it's bad. Not really sure how to explain it other than it looks like you're not the only one with wings on Team Freewill anymore. Wanna help me test 'em out?

Alright, Edlund tweeted it, so I gave it the old college try.

[night-faye]

*looks at scene* *nods* yeah, I see what you mean. that's def one of the interpretations. Macky flipped when Wukong was throwing shade on the ship, but he's cool as a cucumber here, possibly contemplating something. It's the "so, the real rings are with MK" sure, not a hard guess, but coming to that realization **after** breaking them makes it seem like he either didn't know they were fake until after they broke, or he was testing it out whether they were fake or not 🤔 like, if the rings didn't break, then they were real? but what if LBD's power **could** break the real ones. that makes it a gamble to test out, but he's having a lot of faith in his ability to know Wukong like the back of his hand. SPEAKING OF. 1) the goofy way they hide Macky off screen until he's revealed to be tied up. 2) "Sorry Mr. Maquack." I said that exact thing a few episodes earlier both before I knew fandom's joke names AND before this episode. even the writers were on the same wavelength. it just had to be done. gotta love the silly way Sandy's huge hand fluffs his fur and he just scowls and lets himself get spun instead of biting because apparently!! he was out there making those stupid sad downcast faces and *pretending* to be tied up. He's pathetic, I love him. so much drama. 3) "I bet you anything that keeping him suppressed is using every ounce of strength she's got." Literally. extreme drama to act like a poor *trapped* meow meow until you get Pikachu-shocked by MK AND simultaneously sit there being the first to stand up for Wukong and hype the gang up. "C'mon kid, you must have seen it." He's always been pushing MK like that huh? 4) The good ol "Macky is going to die apparently without anyone ever clicking what went on with him lol." C'mon Pigsy, did Tang tell you nothing- oh right, y'all weren't there post LBD. 5) ugh MK's whole speech. he's so frustrated like yeah same bud 😆 enough of the cryptic brooding Maclowning. fun fact: this episode is actually called "Time to be Warriors" as in ALL of them because a hero will sacrifice one person to save the world, but a villain will burn down the world for one person, you know the saying. we don't do this the hero way, we save the day like a warrior! uh, lmao. I mean, in the context of LMK, some kind of "no sacrifice" pledge. not that MK and friends are burning the world. I think someone wrote an essay on hero/warrior philosophy. 6) brief moment of admiration of Macky being action ready at the open moving van. reminds me of highway chases in movies. 7) there he goes again, being silly and casual! <3 <3 <3 checking out his nails, the little shoulder shrug, the swirly maneuver, the cheeky look and smug Macat grin. EVERYTHING. and that spin he does with MK? the same one Wukong did? either they're just that similar, he saw it happen, OR my personal fav and the funniest, Wukong DID IT TO HIM. c'mon projection monkey, let it be so! 8) Your first parallel to S1 EP 9 as promised!! That trick is the same one Macky pulled last time :D *bait and punch*

Don't mind me just taking notes and absorbing everything here. nothing to worry about :)

[legaciestold]

@everythingheard (leon) government medical facility may 27th, 2024

horrific images play across her her mind, eyes scrunched together and horrifically blonde hair in her face in a dimly lit room that lacked any form of significant color sans the items peeking out of a duffle bag on the chair in the corner that chris had brought her. she's spared the hospital gown, instead allowed to wear a loose fitted dso sweatshirt and sweatpants both because it made it easier for the wireless monitors attached to her and because her body felt weak the longer she was without the doses of virus the devise she'd been attached to had given her. a sheen of cold sweat finds her brow, her skin clammy and still paled more than it should be. a cell phone playing soft melodies from some parisian band that she'd put on earlier lingers near her legs on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest because she's just awoken by some loud crash of a sound outside the room she's subjected to and her mind had scattered into a million directions of it's own volition. she'd found herself sitting on the cool floor as if the sensation of it was some means of grounding force, the cold reminding her where she was, that it was real. she had control of her actions again yet her mind felt distant in a way that'd made her want to punch a wall.

frustration ebbs through her. anger too. and so many things in-between. this isn't her. so unfocused and skittish. even when the memories of those bloody handprints in that school plagued her she'd found a way to ground herself. some nights that meant she held onto chris as they were lulled to sleep by a storm and sometimes it was her talking her mind into compartmentalization. yet now everything felt disconnected and just out of reach. fear rushed through her in those moments of waking from sleep when she believed she was a moment away from living a nightmare she could only watch her body enact. then she remembers, wesker was dead. chris had made sure of that in the same way he'd fought to find her for a year and refused to believe her dead. he'd been there every step of the way in the last few days and she's pretty sure he'd nearly decked one of the scientists when they'd try to stop him from being in the room with her. they hadn't stopped him from bringing her things or giving her her phone after that either and jill feels like she'd have paid to see what wrath of god he'd worn upon his face to gain such easy compliance from them.

but chris isn't there now, even though he's rarely left her side since they landed and she'd been forced into immediate testing. she understands why. she does, even if the tests make her skin crawl. there's no way to know the effects of what lingers in her body or if the lack of the virus would make her body shut down without it (she was weak but she wasn't dead so that was a good sign at least). there'd been such a fine line between death and life when wesker had pulled her from the water and jill knows, even if she hates it with a kind of rage she's never felt before that his actions were all that had allowed life to flow back into her for her to be here now. even if jill in the here and now felt hardly like herself. fingers reach out and tap the phone screen, looking at the clock. chris should be there now, she thinks and considers the timing of everything was rather coincidental. the reduced sentence her father was commuted to that she'd secured in her deal years earlier had another two years on it and a part of her had wondered who pulled strings to have dick valentine released even earlier. she'd considered, maybe, somehow, leon had managed it until one of the medical staff had given her a card with a cryptic few sentences. trent. she'd ever quite been able to get a read on him and now she only had more questions than answers but she supposed he had his own reasons for it.

either way, she'd see her father soon enough. chris was making sure of that by traveling up to new york to pick him up. she'd half expected him to give her more of a fight about leaving her than he had, not that he hadn't given her some but she supposes chris was perhaps one of two people who understood what not having her father in her life was like for her and what impact perhaps seeing him now could have on her. there was a lot of things about the way she'd been brought up that jill had come to understand weren't how they should been, but she loved her father and him encouraging her onto the path she'd found had led her to chris. seeing her dad now was something that gave her a kind of hope that was difficult to keep a grasp of in these moments she battled her mind. a sound at the door brings her attention toward it, body alert and if she'd had more strength in her she'd have managed to get to her feet but the moment she attempts it she gets dizzy. the end result is a firm grip on her phone that she could at least throw at someone before she remembers there aren't enemies afoot in the hallways of this facility a moment later. it's a moot point when her eyes hone in on his haircut and then moves to focus on leon's face. she should have known, really. and maybe this makes her love chris even more. because if he couldn't be here until tomorrow, she's confident he's the one who called leon even if she has no doubt he'd have infiltrated the building soon enough either way.

"you have to pay the toll to come in." she states, a memory from long ago of two kids chasing away a darker memory that's lingered in her mind. "so you better have something out of your mom's old recipe book inside that bag you're holding." jill speaks with a released breath that maybe she's been holding too long. there's something about this moment, as strange as it is with her sitting on the floor and him standing there that finally makes her feel a bit more like herself even if she hates the fact he's seeing her in such a state. but in some ways, maybe leon knew her in ways even chris hadn't or just knew her differently because they'd been kids throwing flour at each other when his mother attempted to teach them to bake and she'd seen him after his parents died and he'd seen her when her father had been sentenced. she supposed, even if they weren't connected by blood like claire and chris were, her and leon had the same kind of connection. she realizes it more now maybe for the first time in a real and weighted way, in the suddenness of the moment, having realized how much she missed him.

"don't just stand there like you're waiting for your number to be called at bingo, help me up." still, jill hates that she needs to ask for help even in something so simple. hates that she can't quite do it herself. but nothing can be done about it but move forward.

[moemoemammon]

So bear with me. MC sleeps like a rock. A bomb could go off next to them, and they don't wake up. Now, add shallow breathing, and they look like a corpse. You could mistake them for a corpse if you don't check their pulse.

How would the brothers (+ datables if you're not too picky hehe) react to the first time waking them up for school only to think they probably died in their sleep on day one??

Sleeping Like a Corpse!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer didn’t think much of you when you arrived, now could he be bothered to personally make sure you peeled yourself out of bed in the morning. So naturally, he sent Mammon to go do it.

But when Mammon came back complaining about how you didn’t budge an inch, big bro realized he’d have to take care of it himself, like usual.

He figured slamming your door open would’ve done the trick, but you remain still. And as much as he wants to drag you out of bed by the ankle, he knows how fragile humans can be. He opts for giving you a vigorous shake, and.... you don’t budge.

He calls your name, nothing. He literally pulls you upright by the shoulders and jostles you around like a protein shaker bottle, but you don’t move, and- wait... are you breathing? MAMMOOOOOO-

“Haaah... It’s your first morning with us, and you’re already causing me trouble. If it weren’t for the warmth of your skin, I’d have thought you were dead. Perhaps I should give you an enchanted alarm clock, if you prove to be this difficult to wake every morning.”

Mammon

Tch, he seriously didn’t get why THE Great Mammon had to do this sorta grunt work! Why should he have to make sure a lousy human gets up for school? It’s not like he’s their babysitter! but we all know he’s a p*ssy so he’s not gonna say that out loud

But that means he’s gonna make sure you know how irritated he is! Mammon bursts into your room, calling you a ‘stinkin’ human’ at the top of his lungs, and... you don’t move a muscle. So his next step is to stomp over and rip your blankets off, and..... you still don’t move.

What the hell? It’s like trying to wake up Belphie! He leans in to try to smack you awake, when he finally notices how it...kinda...looks like you aren’t breathing.

Wait. Wait wait wait-! SURE he didn’t feel like having to watch you, but that didn’t mean he wanted you to die on the first night! Lucifer was gonna KILL him-! Did you die of fright or something?! He didn’t really mean all that stuff he said about eating you, you know?! Hey, snap out of it-!

“What the- You’re ALIVE?! I thought you died in your sleep, dammit! TCH! What’s the big idea, playin’ dead like that?! Ya tryin’ to get me in trouble?!” “-N-no I wasn’t worried about ya!”

Leviathan

Why does HE have to wake you up..? Sure, he has to go to school today anyway for the student council meeting, but what does that have to do with a human..? Couldn’t Lucifer have asked ANYONE else..?

Beyond annoyed when he enters your room. What’s he supposed to do?? Shake you?? Hit you with something???? Levi opts for awkwardly poking your side, and noticing how you don’t react. Great. Ugh... this sucked....

He tries again, then pokes the back of your head, tugs your sleeve, shakes your arm... then you roll over from the movement and he nearly has a heart attack. Not only because you surprised him, but because you.. wait, did you die?!

Stuck between “LMAOOOO ROFLMAO the human died on their first night! What a noob! #fail!” and “KDAKLFHLDSJFKL OH NO HELLO?????”

“WH- Ahhh... I thought you were dead. You know how long Lucifer would've lectured if if you died, right? He'd be so mad, i bet he'd even confiscate my D.D.D.! Normies like you are nothing but trouble. This is why a human shouldn't even be here..."

Satan

What a chore... This felt like more of a punishment than anything, and Satan hadn’t even done anything yet. Unless Lucifer already discovered the ink he dripped into his shampoo? Either way, he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you.

But seeing as he got to hang around you in your most vulnerable state, wouldn’t it be funny if he put a curse on you? He was sure that whatever he chose would become a headache for Lucifer in some way, so the possibilities were endless.

Temporary blindness, backwards speech, rainbow colored skin, extreme bad luck, he didn’t know what to choose! Ah, and there were a few curses he wanted to use on Lucifer that needed to be tested out, so why not experiment on you?

He had plenty of time to pick the perfect one and- ah. Were you.. dead? Did someone beat him to the punch?

“Ah, so you’re alive after all. And here I thought I could harass Lucifer with knowing his human had died in their sleep. Well, it’ll have to wait, I guess...I was really looking forward to the expression on his face...”

Asmo

What? Lucifer was ACTUALLY letting him go in the cute little human’s room, completely unsupervised? What a bold move, dearest big brother~! There’s no way he’d pass up the chance to take a peek at your sleeping face! You were pretty cute, but he’d like to see if you were worth his attention.

That being said, Asmo creeps into your room like a sneaky toddler, and doesn’t hesitate to grab your shoulder and roll you over to get a good look at your sleeping face. Hmm... Not bad! 

So with that, he hops right into your bed unannounced, bouncing you around and giving you that innocent giggle of his. Aren’t you lucky? You get to be woken up by the endlessly charming Asmo-chan~! The first thing you’ll see is his gorgeous face, and you’ll be blessed with the perfect first school day! 

Why, there are hundreds and thousands of demons who wish they were as lucky as you were right now! He’s seen how they’ll fight tooth and nail for a chance to-..... hey, how come you’re not breathing..? Er, he’s not really into that sort of thing...

“Oh thank goodness! I thought you up and died before I had a chance to get to know you! You know how disappointed I’d be, right? Knowing I wasn’t able to explore the cute human living in our house... it’d be a tragedy!”

Beel

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind that much. Having to go and wake you up reminds him of when Belphie was still around, so it’s familiar and feels kind of nice. What DOESN’T feel nice is that he’s missing valuable time he could be spending inhaling his breakfast, because you won’t wake up.

Hangry Beel enters your room with a bagel in his mouth, so you couldn’t understand what he was saying even if you were awake. Just know he’s calling your name and threatening to eat your breakfast. It’s your loss if you miss out.

Hm... You don’t wake up even after he shakes you, so he’s tempted to just leave. But he knows Lucifer will scold you if he returns downstairs without you, so he’s got to improvise.

It’s fine if he just carries you downstairs, right? He’s just tryin to eat man why can’t you- ...Beel is noticing a distinct lack of breath coming from you when he picks you up. Uhhh

“Oh, you aren’t dead. I was going to ask Lucifer if we could have you for breakfast too, but I guess that’s not an option anymore. He says hurry up and get dressed, and that you should give me your breakfast. Bye.”

Belphie

He’s in the attic, so same lmao.

Twins! Still gonna strangle and throw you down the stairs in the future tho

Couple goals amirite?

[bajisbabe]

[author’s note] I rewrote this post THREE times...

# DON’T KNOW WHY I STILL TRY, SHE WONDERS WHY

“I don’t trust nobody, not even her.”

they accidentally hit you | Yandere!Mikey, Ran, Wakasa

warnings: accidental violence, brief mention of actual violence, implied kidnap, yandere, Mikey kicking reader, Ran hitting reader, Wakasa kicking reader.

anon said: “Request for a Yandere ran, Mickey and Wakasa where they accidentally hit you? Like they accidentally slap or kicked u too hard for any reason”

song: trust nobody, love nobody the same by sagun (feat. shiloh dynasty)

— is probably beating tf out of someone who thought they could get between you two; maybe someone who came to rescue you or tried to help you escape.

— he is about to end them with that legendary kick of his, but his foot catches your jaw because you thought it would be a great idea to jump in front of whoever Mikey is beefing with in a pathetic attempt to save their miserable life.

— and Mikey is able to slow the kick just enough so that you don’t get the full force, but you still get hit as it was far too late for him to stop when you suddenly jump in front of him like that.

— and you go flying.

— like you’re literally knocked off of your fucking feet.

— and he watches your body crumple on the floor as you land.

— you let out a lil’ yelp as you hit the ground.

— suddenly, he forgets all about the loser he’s beaten bloody and runs over to check on you.

— he kneels over you, tugging your limp body into his lap.

— he smooths back your hair, rubbing his thumbs over your temples as he softly calls your name.

— and when you don’t respond, he gets panicked and begins calling your name louder and louder until you answer with a groggy, “what?”

— he gets so angry at himself that he has to take it out on something, or rather someone.

— so he moves as though he is going to go back to kicking ass, but you weakly tug at his wrist and beg him not to.

— and he sees how weak and vulnerable you are at the moment, and how you’re begging him so sweetly for someone else’s life.

— he hesitates, but in the end, he gives up and leaves that person alone. even though he has already given them the beating of a lifetime.

— and he does his best to help you get somewhere safe where you can be treated without alerting the authorities of course.

— he feels really guilty about it and keeps apologizing.

— and if you ask him not to go after that person again, in this moment, when the guilt is eating him alive, he won’t.

— but only if you ask him now, while he still feels like shit about how things ended up.

— he’s not as smart as people give him credit for.

— he really is quite a brute.

— he swings on kids with bricks and batons in parking lots for fun.

— he is most likely testing out his new weapon, whatever it may be.

— maybe a brand new shiny, steel bat that’s sole purpose is to beat in the faces of anyone who tries to take you away from him.

— he had it custom made to ensure that it’s got the right weight to it.

— and he is just swinging it about when you happen to pop up out of nowhere.

— maybe you had heard all the swooshing and just wanted to see what was up.

— but you happen to come too close and Ran doesn’t even see you, having way too much fun testing out his new weapon.

— and Ran is just swinging, swinging, swinging.

— and then he turns and you’re right fucking there. but it’s too late to stop it.

— luckily enough for you, he is able to lift his hand just enough so that his fist hits you rather than the bat.

— but it still hurts.

— you’re not necessarily knocked off your feet, but you get hit and become dizzy.

— your legs give out and you fall to your knees, cheek aching.

— he immediately collapses to kneel in front of you, hands hovering in front of you.

— he’s too afraid to touch you. he thinks he might hurt you again.

— “sorry.” he blurts, mouth dry.

— this means a lot because Ran never apologizes.

— but he feels so fucking sorry.

— your eyes are glossy, your lower lip pulled between your teeth as you fight back tears.

— I don’t blame you. I KNOW that shit hurt 🤕

— “I’m sorry,” he blurts again. “Can I—is it okay if I—uhm, what do you want me to…?”

— He can’t figure out what to do or how to help you.

— he feels like shit, and he thinks you’re gonna hate him even more now.

— you just sniffle, taking a deep breath as you blink back tears.

— “can I… Is it okay if I…?” His hands jolt as though he’s trying to stop himself from touching you.

— he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to see you scared, or see you flinch.

— and you don’t really have much of a choice because he might have broken something in your face and you need some kind of help, so you take him up on his unsaid offer.

— you nod softly, swallowing a sob as your cheek aches painfully.

— he slowly tugs you into his arms, soothing his large hands over your back.

— he cups your face gently in his hands and tilts your face to get a better look.

— your eyes are stinging as he asks you where exactly it hurts.

— “Sorry,” he murmurs again. “I’ll get Rindou to check on you,” he says. “He’s good with medical shit.”

— actually thinks you look rather nice when crying but won’t mention it because he can read the room.

— coddles you and calls you all kinds of nicknames.

— “baby, I’m sorry.” / “it won’t happen again, sweetheart.” / “I didn’t mean to, honey.”

— sits there while Rindou patches you up, holding your hand (if you let him) and telling you that you’re doing so good whenever you clutch his hand hard or when you squeeze your eyes shut in pain.

— promises to buy you whatever you want to fix it.

— even if you insist that you don’t want anything, he’ll still get you something.

— probably still tells you that he’s sorry under his breath.

— he is so pressed about the situation that he doesn’t even use the shiny, steel bat he bought.

— it’s expensive and custom made, and he’s not gonna use it at all solely because he almost hit you with it.

— he thought you were someone else.

— when he heard someone creeping out of the hideout, he assumed it was an outsider who stumbled across the place and was trying to escape.

— and his reflexes are fast.

— so without thinking, he clocks you upside the head from behind.

— he most likely noticed that it was you he was about to hit but by then, it was too late to stop.

— but he doesn’t even try to hold back or slow the punch at all.

— he lets you take it full force.

— you are quite literally knocked off your fucking feet.

— and when you hit the ground, you’re gasping for air because you’re winded thanks to the impact of the fall.

— and he just peers over you, watching you with that resting bitch face of his.

— he doesn’t even apologize.

— he quietly asks you where you were going, knowing damn well you can’t respond because you cannot breathe.

— and he doesn’t help either.

— he just watches you sputter for air.

— your ribs could be broken.

— and if you get upset and scream about how he could have hurt you, he’ll just shrug and say that he pulled the kick so that you wouldn’t get hurt as bad.

— liar. 😔

— if you need any kind of patching up, he will help.

— but he will probably have something backhanded to say about how if you didn’t try to escape then this wouldn’t have happened.

— is a lil’ insensitive.

— your body is probably sore and aching and he doesn’t even care.

— might purposefully run his hands over the place where he knows it’ll hurt most just to watch your pretty face contort with subtle pain.

— might even take his fingers and dig them into the sensitive skin that suffered from the impact just to see if you’ll yell or cry.

— he finds you interesting and wants to see you make as many expressions as possible.

— expressions of pain are not excluded.

— would be a lil’ hurt if you flinched away from him after the whole ordeal.

— but he isn’t stupid, he could understand why you’d fear him. he just can’t find it in himself to care.

— not that he would intentionally hurt you.

— but if it happens, if happens 🤷🏾‍♀️

— might feel guilty if you show that you’re genuinely upset.

— if you want him to stop poking and prodding at your bruises, you’re gonna have to cry.

— he might go easy on you then, but that’s a might, not a will.

[kpopmakesmeweep]

badboy!yeonjun x innocent!reader 

word count: 21k

angst, fluff, smut

when your teacher asked you to tutor in the beginning of the school year, you were hesitant even then. 

you knew that it meant your lunch period and one study hall for the day were gonna be completely booked, helping younger kids grasp the basic idea that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

but then you met one young girl desperate to pass her first test in october and knew your teacher had gotten you, sending a small, defeated smile her way as you gave her the okay to put your name on the list. 

you didn’t expect to come back from winter break with the news that the next student you’d be tutoring wasn’t a sweet 7th grade girl but none other than choi yeonjun. 

the overwhelmingly attractive but horribly intimidating boy who was a year older than you and had, quite possibly, one of the worst reputations the school has ever seen.

if he wasn’t getting suspended for fighting or smoking on school grounds, you’d attempt to block out the mindless gossip about him and all the college girls he’d frequently fraternize with. 

he was in your lunch period when you were a sophomore and he was a junior and you couldn’t help but be fascinated by how handsome he was. how he carried himself and how everyone else seemed to be fascinated by him too.

he was always wearing some variation of black, like his closet was just an empty void of black leather, dark cotton and chains. if he didn’t have on a beanie or hat, his then blue hair was a mess of waves that always made you look a few seconds too long.

you’ll never forget the day that he caught you, your nose in a textbook as you studied for a midterm before a loud shout of his name caught your attention. 

you looked up and watched one of his friends playfully punch him in the arm, something about him hooking up with the older girl he had his eye on first and yeonjun only smirking at him devilishly. 

he didn’t look apologetic or regretful in the slightest, more so like he’d do again just because he could and just because he knew the girl would be eager to have another go with him. 

your breath caught in your throat when his deep brown eyes met yours, his head cocked as he held your gaze with all the confidence and smugness you could never have. 

it took his lips quirking into a cocky smile for you to snap out of it, cheeks warming and stomach churning at getting caught before you dropped your gaze right back down to your book.

it was a quick and thorough reminder that this is where you feel comfortable and this is where you belong - with your nose in a book and your mind on your studies. 

you’ve always intended to just get through high school with good grades and minimal distractions, a small (almost non-existent) friend group that left you able to make straight a’s and work a small, part-time job.

you’d done a pretty good job of that thus far, no bad boys covered in all black and sliver chains to show you that, maybe, getting out of your comfort zone isn’t such a bad thing after all.  

you met yeonjun during your 7th period study hall a week later than intended, him not showing up to either of the periods your teacher informed you both last week. 

you weren’t surprised in the slightest but also wouldn’t dare tattle on him, simply dodging the questions from your teacher or giving her a polite smile and cryptic answer. 

but you couldn’t even stop the way your eyes widened when the library door opened and he was making his way toward you, black beanie placed on his head along with a dark shirt tight across his chest paired with gray sweatpants that made you bite down on your lip.

his hair was pink now, long with a slight wave to it that looked all too soft and inviting to touch; the color probably shouldn’t work on anyone but, of course, it works on him. 

devastatingly attractive in a way that doesn’t seem fair nor human. 

he hasn’t said a word to you, he wasn’t even within six feet of you yet, but you were already scared shitless. you already didn’t trust yourself to be around him and not make a bumbling fool of yourself. 

a pretty smirk crossed his face when he stood in front of you, looking down at you with a playful look in his eye that was far too mocking and sinister. 

“hey. y/n, right?”

you never would’ve pictured this man saying (or even knowing) your name, nor him looking at you so willingly and intensely, but you have to quickly snap yourself out of it. 

this was as professional a relationship could be between two students and you really had to get it together. 

“hi, yes... that’s me,” you say softly. 

so softly that you’re not even sure he can hear it but you can, unfortunately, hear the tremor in your own voice and it’s nothing but absolute embarrassment. 

he happens to like it though, if the way his eyes light up and his smirk widens tells you anything. 

“i’m yeonjun.”

“i know.”

you say the statement far too quickly and it causes your face to warm, your mouth hanging open as the amusement continues to build behind his eyes; you can see with your own that the boy is too handsome for his own good but something tells you he’s probably far too charming as well. 

“i mean... we were supposed to meet last week,” you attempt to clarify.

it seems like a good save, something to make, both, your embarrassment lessen slightly and for him to know you’re aware that he missed the two sessions last week. 

but it doesn’t seem to work, the boy sitting down across from you with all the confidence and smoothness in the world. he leans in closer and you hold your breath, horribly lonely and touch-starved heart fluttering in your chest. 

“i know, sorry about that,” he says, a genuineness in his voice that you can’t help but question. “i was busy with some things.”

you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, not even wanting to think about what kind of things keeps a man like him busy.

your teeth sinks into your bottom lip nervously and you can just feel his eyes burning into you, moving across your pink face and down to your soft white sweater; it makes you look every bit as innocent as he’s presumed you to be and he can’t say it doesn’t make him smile. 

“and yet, the teacher didn’t say anything to me about missing.”

you meet his eyes at his questioning tone, so scrutinizing and intense that you feel very grateful about your decision not to blow up his spot; you don’t even wanna know what he looks like when he’s angry. 

or maybe you do, some darker and suppressed part of yourself thinks. 

“that’s because i didn’t tell her,” you say quietly, a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying desperately to push down. “i didn’t wanna....” 

you almost say tattle and you think your face wold turn an unnatural shade of red if that silly word left your mouth in front of him.

so you meekly and sweetly decide on, “i didn’t wanna get you in trouble,” a smile gracing his face that almost makes you feel like you’d done a good job or something. 

and how ridiculous does that sound? you did a good job for the older, delinquent boy - you don’t know what’s gotten into you. 

maybe his smile and his eyes and just the way he’s looking at you is making you feel as if you’re actually something to look at - you’ve never really been observed the way he’s observing you. 

a deep, melodic chuckle leaving his mouth causes you to swallow nervously, watching him with a blank expression because you’re not sure if he’s laughing at you or with you.

your heart stutters when he leans back to stretch, his arm squeezing at the back of his neck; it takes everything in you not to watch his arm flex.

“how’d i know you were a good girl, hm?”

your eyes widen at his words, stomach swooping in a way that’s only ever happened when you watch couples on tv or read about a romance in books. 

because it’s not only his words, it’s the way he carries himself. the way he’s looking at you and speaking to you, the way you never thought anyone would - let alone him. 

he must mistake your utter...shock and fascination for confusion, eyes wide and cheeks flushed and he suddenly wants to place his hand on your cheek. 

see if it’s as warm and soft as it appears to be in this very moment.

“you were in my lunch last year, no?” he hums, looking directly at you with zero ounce of fear and ever bit of confidence. “always with a textbook or writing something.”

he doesn’t remember all the girls that gawk at him but he remembered you immediately. 

caught your gaze early last year and saw something flicker in your eyes, a soft and innocent fascination he wasn’t used to seeing but immediately made him wanna ruin you - he wanted to ruin you and he didn’t even know you. 

he just knew that he’d watch you sometimes, discreetly and quickly, but enough to get his fix.

when he entered the cafeteria and made sure you were sitting there with your your face buried in a book. 

when you’d get up to buy lunch or a bottle of water, pull down your skirt or adjust your hair in a way that made him wanna touch you in a similar fashion.

when you’d leave five minutes early (in what he fantasized was so you wouldn’t be late) and send him one last glance. feel your soft, hesitant gaze on his face and meet it carelessly at the very last second.

just enough to watch you get shy and see the blush so similar to now cross your cheeks. 

he didn’t know your name and he, truthfully, never intended on learning it. because as much as he wanted to truly ruin you, he knew that’s all it was - a dark, twisted fantasy that someone like him shouldn’t act on. 

but then when he walked in and saw you here, the tutor he was dreading to meet in such a familiar position, he knew immediately that you were her. 

the cute girl from his lunch he wasn’t sure was an angel he wanted to protect or someone he wanted to fuck the shit out of. 

you weren’t sure what to think right now, not wanting to get your hopes up or think too much into his question - you were in my lunch last year, no?

think that you were special and he remembers you for reasons far too fantastical so you only nod, figuring he could be taking a guess; there’s only three lunch periods after all. 

“yeah. your hair was blue.”

a smirk crosses his face, chest warming at the fact you remembered him (even though the cocky, confident part inside of him knew you would). 

“yes it was,” he confirms, smiling down at you in a way that makes your heart jump and pound even more. ”i was hoping you’d remember. because i knew i recognized you from somewhere.”

you don’t know how you’re gonna do this. you can barely look at him, how are you supposed to talk to him and teach him twice a week and actually-

“i do wanna ask you something else though.”

your eyebrows pull together at the slight change in his voice, cocking your head to the side as you look at him.

he’s leaning in a little closer now, tiny pink strands hanging from his beanie as his brown eyes bore into yours. there’s still some amusement twinged in his eyes but it all looks very deceptive, unnerving a part of you that your stupid little heart is ignoring. 

he doesn’t allow you to ask him what before he starts talking again. 

“how about we keep these sessions the way they’ve been?” 

your eyebrow raises as confusion continues to plague you; your sessions haven’t even started? 

you haven’t even taught him anything, what could he possibly- but it’s the moment he opens his mouth to speak again, you realize that’s exactly the point. 

“you tell the teacher i’m coming to these and i’ll tell her what a good job you’re doing. how much i’m learning from you and shit.”

a smirk crosses his face when he peers into your eyes, catching the nervous, unsure look in them that only makes his smirk widen - you really are too cute. 

you, on the other hand, don’t know how you feel about his suggestion; you just know how you feel about lying. 

it doesn’t sit well with you and you don’t wanna get in trouble. 

the teacher has a class during this period so it’s not like she’d come down and check but it still makes you incredibly queasy. 

and if he needed tutoring in the first place, he obviously needs help. he’s a senior and needs to keep his grades up so he can graduate. it’d be your fault if he didn’t pass and you’d hate to be the reason he gets-

movement in front of you causes your thoughts to immediately stop, body freezing as you watch him lift his arm and bring his hand to your head. 

he moves a strand of hair from your face before smoothing out the slight crease in your forehead, biting down on his lip when he feels your skin is just as soft and smooth as he suspected. 

“what are you thinking so hard about?”

the deep, low tone of his voice and inquisitive look on his face is dangerous, almost as dangerous as the frantic beating of your heart and the way it’s about to pound out of your chest. 

it’s like he has electric sparks shooting from his hand, making you feel extremely exposed and vulnerable even though his touch is quite gentle and innocent.

“i.... it’s just....” you stutter out, taking a deep breath because you know you need to get it together fast. “you’ve been having trouble, right? that’s... why you needed tutoring in the first place.”

his eyebrow quirks up at your comment and for a split second, you think you’ve offended him. 

“i don’t want you to fail, yeonjun.”

he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on your words, realize that no one has so openly and sweetly said that to him before. or even cared enough to tell him that they don’t want him to fail.

he knows the teachers and counselors get him help because it’s their job. 

he knows his parents bitch and complain about it because they don’t want him repeating high school or wasting their money. 

he knows anyone who says anything to him about it is just doing it to make themselves look like a good person or friend. 

but you just so openly and sweetly said it, a deep concern in your eyes that he knows he can’t dwell on or his similar feelings are gonna arise from last year’s lunch.

where he’s about to throw caution to the wind and do anything and everything he wants to someone as innocent and sweet as you; but he can’t do that and he knows it, he knows that’s why these session can’t happen - on top of the fact that it’s not only you. 

he smokes during lunch and into this period. 

and there’s just no fucking way he’s spending that time suppressing his predatory attraction to you while learning about shit he doesn’t understand and being high as a kite. 

“you don’t gotta worry about me, angel,” he hums lowly, the name falling so naturally and smoothly from his mouth, he doesn’t even realize. “just do that for me, yeah? then you’ll have 7th free.”

you don’t hear much after he calls you angel, just that he’s asking you to do something for him and you’re blindly and dumbly nodding because he just called you that.

and it’s not until he smiles and thanks you deeply, looking over your face once more before saying that he’ll see you around that you realize you’re alone. 

sitting there as you watch yeonjun walk out the door without a glance back and come to terms with the fact you just agreed to lie to your teacher for him.

for almost a month, you were able to keep it up.

it was terrifying and debilitating and it almost sent you into a full blown identity crisis, but you’d somehow managed to do it.

that was until this afternoon, when your teacher cut through the cafeteria during lunch with a cup of coffee in hand and suspicion in the pit of her stomach. 

she saw you sitting there alone, your own books sprawled out around you as you wrote down notes before her short call of your name had your head snapping up. 

her eyes watching you quizzically made your own widen, stomach sinking and heart starting to pound as he she made her way over to you. 

“hi, y/n. where’s yeonjun today? it’s wednesday.”

the period only began ten minutes ago so it wouldn’t be weird for you to say that he wasn’t here yet. that he got held up after class and would be on his way shortly.

but you were just nervous and so bad at lying that you blurted out that he left to go to the bathroom, her eyes roaming the table in what you could only assume was for his books. 

“he took his backpack with him,” you tell her quietly, smiling softly in an effort to hide your guilt and distress. she only hums softly before nodding her head, taking your word for it because why wouldn’t she?

you’re good and studious and wouldn’t ever lie to a teacher.

but then when she comes down to the library next week during 7th period with her class, catching you at the table by yourself, you do it again. 

look her in the face and panic, make a scene of collecting your books as you tell her you forgot you guys were meeting in the cafeteria today - placing the blame on yourself.

you spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, collecting your thoughts and attempting to calm yourself down because you can’t keep lying. 

you haven’t even talked to yeonjun since the first time you met in the library, only seeing him in passing in the hallway or after school. 

he’ll send you a nod paired with his signature smirk and you’ll send him a small smile back, dipping your head before your cheeks flush at the mere sight of his eyes. 

you wish you hadn’t agree to this. 

you wish he didn’t effect you so much and you wish you could tell him you either need to actually help him or tell the teacher he doesn’t want to, because you’re losing your mind. 

you’re anxious and upset and not feeling good about yourself, barely able to look your teacher in the face these days. 

it’s on a friday before lunch, the bell ringing ready to dismiss you from her class, that it all comes crashing down.

she asked you to stay behind for a moment, everything about her face calm and neutral as you made your way over to her desk. 

you were anything but calm as you stood before her, that familiar feeling of dread and guilt rushing in your stomach as you smiled softly at her and asked if everything was okay. 

“yes, i just wanted to say what a great job you’re doing with yeonjun.”

you don’t even know what your face looks like but you know it’s probably the face of someone incredibly guilty, being praised for something you haven’t been doing and taking credit for it even though you know it’s wrong.

the feeling in your stomach confirms all of those feelings, tight and fluttery and buzzing with upset.

“o-oh?” 

“yeah,” she smiles tightly, looking over your face before speaking again. “we just took our third test and he did great. in the low 90s.”

a part of you desperately hopes that to be true, that maybe he started applying himself and somehow started to grasp the material all on his own. you smile at the thought that that’s the case, nodding your head as you, against your better judgment, keep up the facade. 

“i’m happy for him. he’s been working very hard. w-we studied at our last session for it, actually, and he really seemed to be understanding it.”

the contemplative look she gave you should’ve been the first sign that she knew you were full of shit, a quiet hum leaving her mouth. she holds your gaze until the moment you drop it, looking down at your white sneakers until she calls your name softly. 

“y/n... why have you been lying to me?” 

your lips press together as tears prick your eyes, all of the guilt and shame rushing through you at once. 

“he failed his test and i know you guys haven’t been meeting.”

she knows that because you can’t lie. she knows that because yeonjun still doesn’t know anything and all of the students she’s recommended to you have passed with flying colors. 

she knows because when you look up at her, your lip is trembling and it looks like you’re about to burst into tears.

“i... i’m so sorry.”

but even then, even after this moment right here, you’re still not gonna tell on yeonjun. because you don’t want him getting in trouble and you’re not gonna try to excuse your own behavior by admitting you agreed to it. 

you’re just as at fault as the older boy and you’re not gonna pretend you’re not. 

“why have you been lying? you could’ve just told me if you didn’t feel comfortable tutoring him or it wasn’t working out.”

because she knows yeonjun’s reputation. she knows he’s a year older and that you’re one of the shyer students in her class. she was hesitant at first to even put you two together but thought you’d be able to get through to him. 

and because you don’t know what to say, how to make up an excuse that puts neither of you at fault, you don’t say anything. just continue to apologize with teary eyes and a shaky voice before she eventually lets out a sigh. 

“take the next few days to figure it out. try to work on it with him or come to me and be honest that it’s not gonna work. but you didn’t have to lie to me, y/n. i’m a little disappointed in you.”

those words hit you harder than you care to admit, more tears building as you nod your head and quickly leave the room.

you knew from the beginning that it was wrong.

you never felt good about it and you knew it was bad but you still took part in it. she has every right to be disappointed in you and it feels like everything you worked so hard for has been ruined. 

now you look like a liar who can’t be trusted. 

now any time you tell her about another fellow student you’re working with, like the 7th grader you got through to or the 9th grader you helped get an a on their test, she’s gonna wonder if you really did that.

if you really helped them or if you’re just lying about that, too. telling them the answers to their homework or lazily explaining the concepts to them like you don’t work hard with each and every one of them. 

you’re surprised to see yeonjun when you make it to lunch a few moments later, your stomach still in knots and left over tears in your eyes. 

you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his table until you hear one of his friend’s deep voices, a brash “who are you?” not even filling you with fear. 

you’re only looking at yeonjun pathetically, wide teary eyes and pouty lips in an effort to hold back more tears.

yeonjun’s dressed in his usual attire but you can’t even focus on that, his pink hair flawless against his black shirt and chain hanging around his neck as he adjusts it carelessly. 

soobin’s words catch his attention before your appearance does, looking at the front of the table and taking in the sight of wide, teary eyes and pouty lips; it pulls at something in his chest more than he cares to admit.

“yeonjun, can i talk to you for a second?” 

your voice is wobbly and timid and everything about it so incredibly embarrassing, the tears in your eyes obvious to all the young men around the table. 

you probably look like some girl he slept with and then left on read, begging him for another chance because your heart can’t take not being with him. because you got attached and now it feels like you need him. 

but, really, you just need him to let you tutor him. 

you can’t disappoint the teacher anymore and you had a job to do with him; you should’ve never told him that lying would be okay. 

“who’s this?” his friend asks with a smirk, his hair a bright shade of purple that looks striking next to yeonjun’s. 

“no one,” yeonjun’s quick to snap, looking at you before quickly getting up and guiding you out of the cafeteria by the small of your back. 

he walks down a secluded hallway and out to the garden of the school, looking at the tears in your eyes and feeling himself frown. 

“what happened?”

“i... she found out we haven’t been meeting,” you mumble, feeling silly and childish for crying in front of him about something like this; but you can’t help how you feel, you can’t help feeling sad and guilty about all of this. 

your heart drops when he actually smirks at you, looking over your face with a gaze that’s just as soft as it is amused.

you’re almost positive he’s about to laugh at you, call you a loser for crying over something as juvenile as getting caught in a silly lie and hurt your feelings even more. 

but then you’re quickly stiffening when his hand reaches up, gently brushing at your tears and marveling in just how soft your skin is. 

“that’s why you’re crying?” 

you’re embarrassed to say the least, any words you’d use to justify your reaction caught in your throat - and the smirk on his face isn’t helping either.

“you’re too pretty to cry over stupid shit like that, y/n.”

“it’s not stupid,” you respond, voice shaky and demeanor meek but still able to talk back. 

because it’s not stupid to you. wanting to be nice and studious and a good person isn’t stupid. not wanting to be a liar or someone who goes back on their word isn’t stupid. 

“she trusted me to help you and i lied to her.”

“we lied to her,” he says, voice and eyes teasing as he bends down to be on your level. you think he’s trying to make you feel better, a soft playfulness on his face that does anything but.

because you aren’t like him. 

you aren’t cool and feared and you can’t not care about how you effect other people. 

“why didn’t you just tell her it was my idea?” he asks suddenly, his eyes roaming your face in such a gentle but curious way. “she probably already knows that.”

“i... i didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

he rises to his full height as a small smile crosses his face, your soft voice and sweet words again effecting him far too much. he shouldn’t feel this way toward you and he shouldn’t want to be tutored now.

he shouldn’t be reaching out to touch the smooth skin of your cheek, a few stray tears making his lips fall into the smallest of frowns as you hear his voice the softest it’s ever been. 

“i wouldn’t get in trouble, angel.”

and there’s that word again. making your wet eyes widen and stomach to flutter, wondering how and why that simple word sounds so nice leaving his mouth. 

maybe because you’ve never been called that before. 

could only imagine being called that by someone, let alone him, in such a way. or maybe it’s because it is him, the boy you watched for months on end, forever fascinated by the way he carried himself. 

or maybe it’s because-

“but even if i did, how’s that your problem? why would you care?”

it’s a fair question you suppose but it doesn’t stop you from licking at your lips nervously, an all too familiar (and embarrassing) blush warming your cheeks. 

“i mean... it’s not,” you mutter shyly, not sure if you’re more intimidated by him calling you out or the look on his face. 

but even with those feelings, you’re still able to meet his gaze. 

take in the deep, dark intensity staring back at you in his brown eyes. they’re softer than one would expect, almost soft enough to make you forget what you were wanting to say. 

“but it’s just as much my fault as it is yours. so it didn’t seem fair.”

he smirks so he doesn’t say anything too brash, looking over the blush on your cheeks. his hand itches to move your hair behind your ear, a move he’d always do because he knew it was charming. 

knew it’d get him laid and get a girl’s heart fluttering.

but now he wants to do it just to touch you, feel your hair and skin and watch the blush on your cheeks deepen; but before he can do anything, he’s surprised to hear you speak anything.

“but it’s also not fair to keep lying,” you say softly, a broken little smile crossing your face as you look at him. “i actually really hated the lying... so if you don’t wanna do the sessions, i’m gonna tell her it’s not gonna work for us. but if you change your mind, i’m still free during those periods.”

at that moment, he had every intention of telling you no. 

he didn’t wanna give up his free time and energy to learn about things he’s absolutely sure he’s never gonna need to know after this. 

he didn’t wanna sit through the sessions high or not get high at all, the only way he’s able to cope with the last period of the school day knowing that he could roll a joint in his car with soobin. 

he didn’t wanna resist his obvious attraction and borderline fascination with you, act on it in a way he knows you’re not ready for and in a way he shouldn’t.

but when he walked in the library on monday, the time he told you he’d get back to you, you looked up and smiled at him. it was such a small, quick smile but everything about it called to him.

the twinge in your eyes and the way your hair fell, how even though your smile was small, it lit up your face and made you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life.

at that moment, you were positive he was about to tell you no.

that thanks but no thanks, he’s absolutely not gonna spend his free period being tutored by a younger student who only stutters and blushes in his presence. 

but when he sat down in front of you, a smirk on his face and eyebrow quirked, you couldn’t even hold back your look of surprise. 

a deep chuckle left his mouth when he caught your expression, the sound one of the best noises you’ve ever heard.  

“what? did you think i wasn’t coming back, angel?”

it took you a month to see yeonjun was just as confident and just as much trouble as you’d expected. 

he was far too charming and attractive and funny, a sarcasm and wit in him that made you muffle your giggles like a middle school girl. 

you weren’t used to talking playfully with the people you tutored, always so focused on getting the work done and making sure you were doing a good job explaining the material for them.

but yeonjun always made sure to delay it, attempt to get to know you before you could even discuss his homework or review sheet; and even though it hasn’t been easy, he’s been persistent in breaking down that wall you put up.

“did the flashcards help or do you think you’re more of a-”

“why don’t you ever go out?”

you suppress the urge to let out a sigh as you turn to look at him, his expressive eyes looking over your face.

you’ve gotten used to the feel of his gaze on you, almost like it was burning into your skin and leaving you exposed to the bone, but it didn’t help when you made eye contact.

looked into his eyes and saw him looking back at you so confidently and so easily, you couldn’t help but feel flustered.

“what do you mean?”

you know exactly what he means but it’s the only thing you could think to say.  

you know more than anyone how much time you spend alone in your room, watching tv series and reading books and reorganizing until you don’t even recognize your own space.

but it’s not that you’re bothered by it, that’s what you like going. not going out isn’t something you find bad or upsetting.

“i mean i see people from your grade at our parties a lot,” he hums lowly, his eyes leaving yours only to look at the soft, pastel pink material of your sweater.

“but you’re never there,” he continues, looking at you and cocking his head to the side questioningly. “why’s that?”

“well, i’m not...invited, i guess,” you mumble out, ignoring the way your cheeks warm even more. “i like sticking to myself. and staying home.”

the words and your tone bring a pout to his face, your eyebrow raising at the sight. why is looking at you like that?

“well now you have an invite,” he says, a teasing smile crossing his face. “come to my friend’s party tonight. soobin, do you know him? he has the purple hair?”

his voice is far too sweet and soft compared to the look in his eye, teasing and flirty and reminding you of just how dangerous he is. how he’s capable of having so many different sides, he nearly gives you whiplash. 

he’s the bad boy everyone thinks of him to be, skipping class and getting high and ditching tutoring lessons by smiling too kindly at a mousy little tutor. 

he’s the play boy you see come out when he looks at you a second too long, bringing a blush to your cheeks and stirring something very unfamiliar in the pit of your stomach. 

but then he has a softer side you see sometimes, like when he decided to do these lessons in the first place because you cried to him and made yourself look even more pathetic. 

“i’m happy you decided to do these,” you say to him quietly. 

it was only your second session but you wanted him to know you were supportive of his decision. that, even if your word meant nothing (because, really, who are you to him?), you were proud of him.

it’s not easy for a senior to give up a period or two to learn about things they don’t understand; you probably wouldn’t wanna do it either, if school and learning didn’t come naturally to you. 

but for whatever reason, he agreed to do it.

“oh?” he hums, the trademark smirk on his face causing your cheeks to warm.

“yeah,” you smile softly, nodding your head before looking down at your clasped fingers. “i just... wanted you to know that. i understand why you didn’t want to but i think it’ll be good for-”

“why do you think i didn’t want to?” 

you look at him and for a split second you’re scared that you offended him. you suppose you don’t really know him well enough to make an assumption about him but you just assumed he-

“or, you know what, no,” he says, shaking his head as he pushes his chair closer to yours. 

he leans over the desk the same way he did during your first meeting last month, bringing your faces closer until you can smell cologne and the faint stench of cigarettes. 

“i wanna hear why you think i changed my mind?”

you quirk an eyebrow as you look at him, staring blankly until you realize he just plans on doing the same. 

“well... i guess it’s because you wanted to do good, right?” you ask meekly, unsure why he changed his mind but knowing that you were happy he did. “and maybe you didn’t wanna disappoint the teacher.”

a deep chuckle leaves his mouth that has butterflies erupting in your stomach, watching as he shakes his head and meets your gaze again. 

“is that no it?” you ask bravely, your wide eyes and confused look causing his own stomach to do flips. “what’s so funny?”

but he’s quick to push it down, reach over to ruffle your hair in a way that makes your eyebrows pull together. 

“nothing, angel,” he mumbles, his eyes roaming yours. you see the exact moment there’s s witch behind them, a flirty and darker front he puts up melting into a soft, vulnerable look.

“but thank you for telling me that. because i’m happy i’m doing them, too.”

he has yet to tell you the reason all these weeks later, probably because you wouldn’t dare ask again, but whatever it was, must’ve greatly inspired him.

because over these weeks, he’s really been putting in the work. writing notes and listening to you and asking questions when he’s not making you blush or inviting you out just for you to decline. 

“so...?” he asks, a charismatic smile stretching across his face as he looks at you awaitingly. “what do you say? you wanna come?”

“no, thank you,” you smile politely, feeling bad for downright denying it but the offer feeling far too similiar to cliche movies you’ve watched. where the popular boy invites the nerd to a party and everyone laughs at her, questions why the hell she’s here and pulls some stupid, immature prank on her.

but this isn’t a movie and you don’t think you even have the capacity to show your face there, nor would anyone care that much to target you. 

dismissing him is easier than really considering you hanging out with him outside of this library. seeing him in a different setting and allowing him to see a different side of you.

not you looking at him pleadingly, your eyes moving to the paper in front of him as you ask him to do the next question.

“i’ll do it if you come tomorrow night,” he says, a sigh leaving your mouth as you look at him in frustration.

“yeonjun...”

because if there’s another thing you’ve learned about yeonjun, it’s that he knows you have trouble saying no to him. it could because he sees the naivety in you, seeing something good in him at times and thinking you’ll really be able to help him.

but maybe he hopes you can help him, too. be a person he can lean on and know 100% is gonna be there for him. 

“c’mon, y/n, don’t you wanna have a little fun?”

“i don’t think i’d find it fun,” you mutter honestly, a pout forming on your lips that has him swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to kiss you in this moment.

just brush his lips gently against yours, hear the little sounds and see your reactions that he knows will be the best thing he’s ever had. hold your waist and feel your skin against his that while it’s juvenile to him would be so much to you. 

“you don’t know until you try, y/n,” he mutters lowly, looking up at him and seeing his gaze is, as usual, unrelenting. “have you ever been to a party before?”

of course you’ve been to parties before; birthday parties, graduation parties, wedding parties - but you’ve never been to a high school house party. 

and are you about to tell him that? absolutely not. 

“of course i have,” you mumble, a smirk on his lips because he can tell by the way you avert eye contact that you’re lying. “but it’s just... especially with kids from school who i don’t know? i don’t think it’d be fun, yeonjun.”

“but i’d be there?” he whines, something very uncharacteristic of someone who is known to be a bad boy. “isn’t that fun enough?”

you let out a groan as you frown again, tapping the notebook in front of you lightly as you meet his close gaze. 

“your test is next week, yeonjun. can you please focus on that right now?” 

it’s not until the next session that he thinks to use that to his advantage, supposing he can stand one more party without your presence as he smiles over at you. 

“let’s make a deal, angel.”

you know when he calls you that that you’re not about to talk about school or his test, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“if i get 100 on my test next week, you come to one of soobin’s party.”

you have to suppress a groan at the way he’s not letting up on this damn party, biting down on your lip as you do your best to give him a serious look.

“you should get the 100 because you want to, not because you’re trying to-”

his finger on your lips is the next thing you’re only able to focus on.

not the pounding of your heart or increasing anxiety at the thought of a party or  the fact that there’s more people in the library than usual today. 

you’re only aware of him touching you, a quiet “sh,” leaving his mouth that has your stomach fluttering far more than you care to admit. 

he meets your wide-eyed gaze and smirks at the look on your face. his finger presses down on your bottom lip gently, dragging it slowly and watching as it pops back up. 

there’s an almost pained look in his eyes that you can’t make out, his eyes never moving from your lips before meeting your gaze again. 

“i want a lot of things, y/n,” he says, his voice deep and gruff and making your heart pound even more as he looks to your mouth again. 

you feel your lower stomach swoop at the way he bites down on his bottom lip, his other hand ghosting over to rest of your knee. 

your uniform skirt comes just above your knees, becoming higher when you sit and perfectly exposing your tight covered legs. his large hand rests on your knee like it completely belongs there, like he’s gonna dare anyone to tell him it doesn’t belong there and to take his hands off you.  

“things i probably shouldn’t tell you yet so your pretty little face doesn’t become beat red,” he mumbles in your ear, his warm breath fanning onto your skin and making a shaky, embarrassing sigh leave your mouth.  

but just him realizing that makes your cheeks flush. everything about his closeness and his words and the way he’s just saying these things to you right in the middle of the library. 

the way his hand is slipping inside of your knee, fingers resting on the inside of your thigh that has some dirty, repressed part of you desperate to spread your legs just a little bit more for him.

feel more of his skin on you and heighten the feeling building in your lower half. 

“but i can assure you, none of them are an on my test. but if that means getting you to spend time with me outside of this fucking hellhole, i’m gonna do it.”

just as fast as his hand was on your thigh, it’s gone and cupping your face. holding on to your jaw as he makes you look at him and has a look of softness and amusement but also darkness and arousal. 

it probably has every bit to do with the fact you let out a tiny squeal when he did so, your eyes widening and legs now spreading apart ever so slightly. 

“do you understand now?” 

you should have the power here being his tutor but you don’t. you’re the cat and he’s the mouse, you’re the prey and he’s the predator and you’re not about to do anything to stop it. 

“ye-yes yeonjun,” you say, a groan almost leaving his mouth at you how compliant you are already. 

and it’s that reaction right there that has him skipping the party on friday and spending his weekend doing something he never thought he’d do his senior year - making flashcards and studying his ass off. 

you remember being incredibly proud when, two weeks later, yeonjun came to your session with his graded test paper in hand. 

he looked happy and accomplished and ready to take on the world, a warm feeling blooming in your chest at the look on his face.

“how’d you do?” you smiled up at him, your eyes soft and expression excited.

when he flipped the test over to reveal his 100% test, your first instinct was to raise your hand for a high five. it’s what you always did with the younger kids, praising them and sharing their excitement over a test that they worked incredibly hard on.

so when you did the same thing to him, quickly realizing he’s not one of your 7th grade students but an absurdly attractive man, your cheeks flushed and you stuttered out a “sorry.”

but he only chuckled lightly and high-fived you immediately, lacing your fingers from across the table before you could pull away. the action caught you off guard more than your nerdy high-five, eyes looking down to your conjoined hands before you gave him an incredulous look.

“what are you doing?” you squeak out, fearing that your hand’s about to get clammy and your heart may explode.

“don’t tell me you don’t remember our deal?”

you realized before you even entered soobin’s house that you made a grave mistake. 

music was pounding through the open windows of the house and a few people were littered across the lawn. a drunken couple sloppily making out while another one fought about someone dancing with a stranger all before ten p.m.

you truly intended on never coming, telling yeonjun you seriously could not go through with this and had to flake out on your deal. 

but he’d been so proud of his test. not just because it meant you were coming but because it showed him he was actually capable - or at least, that was the story he told you.

and whether you were silly and naive to believe him was on you since now, you’re walking into a party looking like someone’s holding a weapon to your back. 

“so i’ll see you tonight, right?” 

you were still hesitant even during 7th period this afternoon, looking at yeonjun with a pained expression. 

“yeonjun... i really don’t know if i can do it.”

“why not? i’m gonna be there, just for you.”

you swallow down a bold, sassy remark that he’s gonna be there anyway, probably to remind your fluttering heart not to think too much into his comment. 

but is him being there enough to make you go? or is that scaring you more? seeing him outside of school, around his friends, in an environment where he can be even more bold and daring. 

after all, being in the school library didn’t stop him from creeping his hand up your inner thigh.

“i don’t just wanna follow you around all night and bother you like a lost puppy,” you whine quietly, knowing this was part of the deal but seeing just how impossible it is. 

“how could you think you’d bother me?” he asks, his head cocked to the side just as the bell ringing interrupts you. 

you let out a sigh as you stand to gather your books. you can feel his watchful eyes on you, attempting to ignore it as you silently get ready to go to next period. 

he mistakes you walking away from the table to throw out a stray sheet of paper as you leaving, quickly rising from his feet and pulling you back into him. your body collides with his before he presses you against the table, the library nearly empty as the loud chatter of students can be heard from the hallways. 

“were you gonna leave without answering me?”

his voice is deep and has a certain dominating darkness behind it, your eyes raising to his just in time to see him cock an eyebrow up. 

“i... i was gonna throw this out,” you answer dumbly, raising the crumpled up paper behind your back. 

he hums thoughtfully before taking it from your hand, crumbling it up and tossing it in the nearest garbage can. he misses but makes no attempt to pick it up, keeping you pinned between him and the table with no qualms about it. 

“you missed,” you point out obviously. 

a smirk crosses his lips as he lets out a hum, bringing his hand up to smooth out a piece of your hair. 

“i’m gonna ask again,” he mumbles lowly in your ear, his large body and deep voice quickly making your breaths quicken. 

“how could you think you’d bother me when i spent my entire weekend studying for that test?” he asks, his hands snaking down your body before gently resting onto your hips. 

him pulling you closer causes another shaky sigh to leave you, your low, warning mumble of his name only making him smirk. he shouldn’t like this so much, how you sound so sweet and flustered and are allowing him have you like this. 

“that was all for you, angel. not for me or the teacher or my parents or anyone else. just you. because i wanna hang out with you.”

you swallow the nervous lump in your throat as you raise your eyes to meet his, the playfulness that was in them turning the slightest bit dark. something in them making you lick over your lips as you try to calm your racing heart.

“you won’t even know when i’m there. how am i gonna find you?”

it’s the worst excuse you could have ever thought of but you’re not surprised since yeonjun was pressed against your body and breathing down your neck the way he was. 

he chuckled lowly like he also knew it was the worst excuse you could’ve thought of, taking your phone from the table. he slides it open and looks to you, his eyebrow raised when you just continue to stare at him blankly. 

then you remember, like every other teenager in the world, you have a lock on your phone.

“0319.”

he smirks at how easily you give it up, tapping a few buttons on the screen before handing it back to you.

“i put my number in there. text me when you’re there, 

so even with a pit in your stomach and anxiety coursing through your veins, you go to his new contact name and type out “i’m here.”

you’re faintly aware of the fighting couple’s voices growing louder, his deep groans mixed with her higher pitched whines causing you to look over. 

“i saw you touch her waist!” the girl yelps, her hands on her hips with a very obvious look of distaste. “so obviously you didn’t mind! maybe you should dance with her the rest of the night!”

“maybe i will, since you’re so god damn annoying,” he yells back, your lips falling into a frown. 

the girl meets your gaze and it’s then you recognize her as a girl in your grade. she’s from the popular group but is one of the nicer ones, always smiling politely at other students and listening to teachers during their lessons. 

she almost looks embarrassed to be caught in this scenario, a broken smile crossing her face before her boyfriend notices your gaze; you don’t recognize him, so you think he must be in yeonjun’s grade. 

“what the fuck are you looking at?”

your cheeks flush as you immediately snap your head away, quickly becoming scared and uncomfortable. you can hear her chastising him but just want to be away as soon as possible, the prospect of this drunk man cursing at you somehow worse than a house full of strangers.

yeonjun hasn’t answered your text but you still take a deep breath as you walk toward the front door, immediately hit with the scent of alcohol, b.o. and weed. there’s loud music blaring from the speakers and making the house vibrate, bodies littered throughout the house as they all talk loudly and dance.

your eyes scan the room for his pink hair, stomach sinking when you see no sign of him. 

is he even here yet? he told you he was coming at nine but could he be running late? or did he forget entirely, ignore your text as a joke and now you have to-

“hey. how do i know you?” 

the first thing you see is purple hair and you’re immediately thrown back into the crowded cafeteria all those months ago. when you so boldly went up to yeonjun with tears in your eyes and he was quick to pull you away. 

you remember the boy in front of you asking who you were, the same curiosity in his eyes now as you stand in his house looking extremely uncomfortable and out of place. 

“i... my name’s y/n,” you begin quietly, the boy barely able to hear you over the music and loud chatter. “i had to talk to yeonjun during lunch once so i went up to your table and-”

“well shit, so you’re her.”

there’s a smirk on his face and gleam in his eye, like he knows something you don’t. you cock your head to the side in confusion, watching as his smirk widens and he nods his head approvingly. 

“his tutor, right? he told me about you.”

“oh... yeah,” you say quietly, because yeah, that would make sense - his friends probably wonder where he goes during his free period now; there’s a few beats of awkward silence before he speaks up again.

“so what are you doing here?”

your cheeks flush and you wish you could blame the stuffiness of his house, looking to him as you stutter out that yeonjun invited you. 

“did he now,” he hums, his eyes roaming your face and stopping on your cheeks. he doesn’t know what exactly yeonjun wants from a girl like you but he has to be honest in saying he sees the appeal. 

“follow me then, sweetheart. you want a drink?”

you shake your head before following behind him, making eye contact with one too many intimidating boys and girls before landing on your feet. everyone’s in pretty heeled boots and crop tops, dancing and singing and grinding like they don’t have any cares in the world. 

like they’re not terrified and dreading being here, even with the knowledge that the attractive boy they may or may not have developed a crush on is lingering  around.

“oh, yeonjunnie,” you hear soonbin whine sarcastically, your eyes shooting up just in time to see his familiar black attire. his pink hair is poking out of his black beanie, the chain around his neck hanging low as he turns to look at his friend. 

“i found someone for you,” the boy says before yeonjun can respond, bringing you around to the front. 

you’re in the middle of both boys who tower over you and you’re not sure if you’ve ever felt more threatened; especially because when yeonjun looks at you, you’d think he didn’t know your name. 

because he doesn’t give you a hi or a smile or even a flicker of recognition in his gaze.

he looks at you and simply says, “well, shit, i didn’t think you’d actually come,” with such a handsomely conniving smirk, you’re not sure what to think in that moment. 

because it seems as if all your silly, irrational fears are coming true in this moment. very much like the movies you’ve seen and scenarios you’ve pictured where you’re humiliated at a party or by the popular boy. 

but his smile and his words seemed so genuine. he’s seemed so genuine getting to know you these past few months, how could he have faked it so well? 

the way your face drops and cheeks warm cause his heart to break a little, still all too aware of the questioning eyes and lingering looks thrown your way. 

“didn’t you invite her?” soobin questions, looking between you and him and noting how embarrassed you look.

“i did,” is all yeonjun responds. no rhyme or reason or answer as to why he did. just that he did. so it could very well be a joke. 

“well then, welcome, y/n,” soobin responds, reaching his hand out to you. “i’m soobin, in case we weren’t formally introduced.”

you give him a tight smile, yeonjun’s piercing gaze on yours as you take soobin’s large hand in yours. 

“nice to meet you.”

your voice is soft and shaky and brings more heat to your cheeks, wanting to die when soobin rips up one of his friends for you to sit on the couch.

“i don’t mind standing,” you insist, shaking your head and offering a small smile to the other boy.

“no, no, pretty girls shouldn’t stand,” soobin says with a smirk, catching the way yeonjun’s eyes roll and jaw clenches; it all goes unnoticed to you, though, too busy sitting down and looking at your hands nervously folded into one another.

“so y/n,” soobin says, sitting down across from you and leaning forward the same way yeonjun does during his tutoring sessions. “what’s it like to tutor this idiot?”

his words are laced with affection, as are his actions as he ruffles yeonjun’s beanie playfully, but they still make you frown. still make you wanna defend him in front of others and ensure that he’s not an idiot. 

“he’s great actually,” you say softly, lips pulled up in a soft smile. “very smart and learns fast. definitely not an idiot.”

you look to the boy to see him staring blankly at you, heart sinking in your chest; you’re becoming increasingly uncomfortable in this environment and a big part of it as to do with his attitude. 

you weren’t expecting him to be overly excited, kiss your feet upon seeing you arrive or proclaim an irrational excitement. but it kind of seems as if, right now, he could care less that you’re here.

“ahh, that’s cool then,” soobin smiles. “you’re a year younger than us, right?” 

you can only hum a small “mhm,” yeonjun’s gaze burning into your face causing you to look at him. 

it’s the same soft, wide-eyed look you give him during your sessions but right now, it’s making him feel far too unsettled. like people seeing him with you are gonna show them a different side to him he has yet to acknowledge. 

“why’d you decide to come?” he asks, not being able to stop the words; he already knows the answer, he basically begged you too. 

and because you’ve been nothing but sweet and soft to him, he’s not surprised when you don’t throw it in his face that he’s the one who enforced this. that he studied for nights to pass that test so you’d feel inclined to come. 

“i thought it’d be fun,” you say sweetly, i thought we’d be able to have fun outside of school like you claimed to have wanted. “i don’t really come to parties a lot.”

“i can’t imagine why, you seem really sweet and funny,” soobin says, a flirty smile on his face that makes a blush creep up on your cheeks; he’s so bold and confident, you don’t know both of them do it. “you should come to more.”

seeing that shade of pink on your cheeks from someone else angers yeonjun more than he cares to admit, throwing his friend a dirty look before growling at him to shut up. 

“why? she’s sweet, isn’t she? maybe i need to be tutored too,” soobin says, throwing a smile your way as he plops down in the spot next to you. “what periods are you free? maybe we can go out for lunch and have a session.”

“i... i’m not allowed to leave for lunch.”

that’s a school rule - only seniors are allowed to leave for lunch. but with the way soobin laughs and yeonjun hold back a smirk, the other people littered around also letting out soft chuckles, it appears that’s something not many people follow. 

“you can with me,” soobin assures, patting your knee softly as he sends another charming smile your way. “i’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.”

you smile in an effort to downplay your embarrassment and discomfort, an annoyed sigh leaving yeonjun as he rises from his seat. he looks even more big and broad surrounded by these people for some reason, in his element where he fits in like a glove.

it’s even more evident that you don’t fit in here - at least in the library, that’s a place you belong. the quiet, the smell of books, the solidarity, a keen sense of-

“i’m getting another drink.”

yeonjun’s words are short and deep as he quickly gets up, hauling ass to the kitchen before anyone can even respond to him. his friend must see the look on your face too, a small pout on your lips that has the boy frowning next to you.

“don’t worry about him, he’s grouchy tonight,” soonbin says reassuringly, wrapping his arm around you affectionately. “some girl stood him up.”

the first thing you feel is a blow to your chest, an unfamiliar pain right in the center as you register soobin’s words; he begged you to come tonight but was waiting for another girl.

probably one of the many college girls, who are prettier and funnier and more charismatic than you.

so, really, you can’t be surprised. you were silly to think he liked you in the way you thought, in the way you’ve come to discover you like him because he makes you smile and laugh and feel warm inside.

but even so, you’re hurt.

you’re hurt and embarrassed and feel humiliated even though no one knows the real reason you came here and stepped way out of your comfort zone. thank god for that, you think, because it’d be even more horrible if people knew you came for yeonjun, all while he was waiting for someone else.

“oh,” you manage to squeak out, a soft look on your face despite the pain and embarrassment inside of you. “that’s too bad.”

“yeah,” soobin says, looking at you with sympathetic eyes you know you can’t trust. “he’ll be good, though.”

you bet he will, you think, because that’s just who choi yeonjun is. he doesn’t care who he strings along or makes believe is special - he’s gonna do what he wants when he wants it with no regard for how it effects other.

even a sweet little meek tutor he was able to get under his thumb the first day he met her.

when yeonjun returns, he can tell immediately that something is wrong with you. your hands are clasped together and you’re biting the inside of your cheek, fiddling nervously as you listen in on the conversation around you.

you meet his gaze and he’s quick to look away, one because he got caught and two because he doesn’t know if he can handle the look in your eye right now.

you’re always almost about to make him crack, break down into being someone worthy of you, and he doesn’t wanna do that tonight. doesn’t wanna show everyone here that, if he wants to, he can be a worthy person.

you’re a second away from breaking before soobin asks if you wanna dance, a tight smile on your face as you shake your head.

“i... i’m actually gonna go outside for a sec,” you say, knowing full well you’re gonna book it to your car and never return. “it’s hot in here. i need some air.”

“there’s plenty of air in here, angel,” soobin remarks, your eyes widening at the term.

it sounds different coming from his mouth, not as deep and melodic and it doesn’t let off a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. you’re too busy giggling softly as you shake your head that you don’t hear the deep, low noise of distaste leave yeonjun’s mouth.

you only see him grab soobin’s arm when he tries to get up to follow you, a lowly growled “let her go,” that makes your eyebrows pull together; you don’t know if he’s trying to hurt your feelings on purpose but he’s certainly doing it a lot tonight.

it feels like you can finally take a deep breath when you get outside, no one around except the chilly air and starry sky. it makes you feel a bit better, sinking down on the stairs and humming contently when your hands meet the cold concrete.

you passed by the dancing people and laughing, smiley couples inside and felt silly for coming here. silly for thinking yeonjun wanted you in his life without him getting something out of it.

what would he want from you anyway? what could you possibly give him when he’s already had so much better?

tears prick your eyes and you bury your face in your hands, taking deep calming breaths so the harsh winter air doesn’t feel like it’s burning you.

you avoided boys and feelings like this for so long and with good reason; you’re too sensitive and naive and always try to see the good in people.

you’ll put your feelings aside in order to spare someone else - you saw it in the beginning, pushing down your qualms about lying to the teacher to further appease a boy you found cute.

and when you put it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid. it sounds like, maybe, you’re just-

“didn’t i tell you you’re too pretty to cry over stupid things?”

your first instinct is to turn around when you hear his voice, his tall, dark figure looming behind you. 

you should probably smile shyly or say that you’re not crying but you can only stay silent, turning back around to avoid his intense gaze and your own humiliation. 

the same way he should probably go inside and carry on with his night the way he usually would. drinking and flirting and dancing before he probably brought someone home or into the bathroom. 

when he moves behind you, that’s what you think he’s about to do. 

but then he’s walking around your sitting frame and bending down to you, looking up at you from his crouched position. his hand reaches out to touch your face, forcing it up so you can only stare at him with teary eyes and flushed cheeks.

there’s a frown on his face as he runs his thumb across your cold cheek, his gentle touch a shocking contrast to his harsher appearance. 

“what happened?”

what happened? you think, not used to feeling so snarky and hurt. what happened was that he got your hopes up, was nice to you and invited you and kept making you feel special, just for them to come crashing down.

but then the more you think about it, the silence between you getting longer and longer, the guiltier you feel - because your feelings aren’t his fault.

you taking his looks and kindness and lingering touches for something deeper was a mistake. you know the kind of boy he is and have still been foolish enough to fall for him.

“nothing,” you grumble, a wet, humorless laugh leaving you as you shake your head. “i’m just being silly.”

but you can’t look up from your feet, your eyes roaming the cracks in the concrete, and that’s how he knows you’re lying; that, and because he knows he was being a fucking dick. 

but seeing you in this environment was weird for him. seeing people look at you and look at him, specifically soobin who got it out of him that he might like you, was unfamiliar for him.

the same way this was unfamiliar for you - which is why he wants you to talk to him. 

“what happened, y/n?” he asks, voice a tad bit harsher and deeper as he cranes his neck down. he hears your harsh, nervous intake of breath and resists the urge to reach out and touch you. 

you need to answer him before he can touch you. 

but you never do. not after ten seconds and not after a minute, prompting him to let out a sigh and pop his neck to the side. your face pulls into a grimace at the crack that sounds through the air. 

his cold hand touching your face causes you to jump, your eyes meeting and a lump forming in your throat; his eyes fool you too much and that’s exactly the problem here.

“talk to me, angel, c’mon.”

your eyes start to burn when a harsh wind passes, tears stinging your eyes and coldness rushing over your face. why does he have to keep calling you that? why does his voice have to sound so sincere and why does he have to look at you the way he is right now?

like he cares so much and hopes those tears aren’t because you’re sad.

“there’s nothing to talk about, yeonjun,” you blurt out, anger and humiliation seep into your tone before you can stop it. you let out a sigh as you try to get it together, taking a few calming breaths before shaking your head. 

“just go back inside, okay? i’m going home. t-thank you for inviting me but i-”

“i don’t want you to go.”

he blurts the words so loud and fast, it even sounds a little awkward to your ears. but he sounds and looks almost desperate, your eyebrows pulling together and heart sinking as you take a deep breath.

because you know you can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of your mouth.

“well, it doesn’t seem like you want me here.”

your words are soft and quiet but they still physically pain his chest, his eyes roaming your face as he brings them to your cold cheeks. he wipes under your eye when wetness forms, the cold biting wind rushing around you both. 

“i want you,” he reassures quietly, his voice just as low and gravely as he speaks hushly to you; he thinks it’s the most honest and true thing he’s ever said to someone. “i want you more than you know.”

“then why are you acting like that?” you question sweetly, the pout on your lips nearly making him groan and cover them with his. “you were being... mean. i felt like... you didn’t want me here at all. or didn’t want people to know you invited me.”

your words break his heart but he also knows they’re true, his fingers caressing your face gently. he notices then how freezing and red it is, looking you over and rising from his feet.

you look disappointed that he’s gonna leave, your face falling and eyebrows furrowing before he reaches his hand down to you. 

“let’s talk in my car,” he clarifies, nodding his head toward his vehicle. “it’s freezing out here.”

you bite down on your lip, contemplating it for a few seconds before another harsh gust of wind passes. you let out a sigh as you take his hand, grateful to enter his car the moment you sit down. 

he turns it on and the engine roars to life, his fingers reaching out to turn on your heated seat. 

the next few moments only consist of the car’s engine warming up as you wait for the heat to kick on, you and yeonjun stealing glances back and forth at each other; you both miss the others gaze by a few seconds and if anyone were to be watching, it’d be obvious you both were nervous right now. 

dancing along the line you’re both nervous to cross for entirely different reasons - you because you somehow don’t think he reciprocates those feelings and him because he knows you deserve more. 

but in this moment, he decides he has to be selfish. watching you with a flush in your cheeks and your lip drawn into your mouth.

“i like you, y/n. that’s why i wanted you here,” his voice says, breaking the silence in a way that almost seems more terrifying. “but that’s also why i didn’t... want people knowing.”

your eyebrows pull together and immediately your mind goes to him being embarrassed. embarrassed that you’re younger and quiet and that no one really knows who the hell you are.

he’s infamous and cool and a senior, obviously he should be with someone similiar. like a popular girl in his grade or a college girl or maybe even a the girl who stood him up.

“not because of you, angel, but because of...”

“you?” you interrupt, a snark in your tone neither of you except; but you’ve heard this line one too many times, not expecting to ever ever hear it real life, let alone toward you. 

“it’s not you, it’s me?” you ask, a gentle, faux smile on your face as you shake your head at him. “is that what you’re about to say?”

he clenches his jaw so he doesn’t smirk, resisting the urge to laugh as he looks you over carefully. it’s obvious your smile’s fake because it doesn’t meet your eyes, the teary glint in them every bit sad as they are frustrated. 

but of course, you’re too sweet to treat him as he deserves. 

his hand reaches out to grab your chin, his thumb and pointer finger on either side as he forces your gaze to his. his smirk comes through when he hears your sharp intake of breath, tongue peeking out to lick at his lips. 

“if you let me talk, angel, you’d know what i was about to say,” he hums quietly, his breath fanning into your face at his closeness. it smells of mint and beer, it should probably be gross but surprisingly isn’t.

his words successfully stir you into silence, partially from fear and partially because the look in his eye has caused you to grow warm all over; and once he sees that, he begins to speak again.

“i didn’t want people knowing because i didn’t want anyone fucking with you, y/n. because if they did, i’d have to ruin them and then everyone would see it.”

“see what?” you ask quietly, the air between you thick and buzzing as you hold his gaze. 

hold it so adamantly and intensely, you’re barely able to register him leaning closer. inch by inch by inch, until his lips are pressed against yours and you’re kissing choi yeonjun in the front seat of his car. 

you’re stiff and awkward and don’t really know what to do but it’s fine because he laces his fingers in your hair and pulls you closer. parts your lips with his tongue which causes you to kiss him back with a slow, unsure pace.

but it only causes him to smile, retracting his tongue and keeping it sweet before he pulls back and rests his head on your forehead. 

“why i decided to spend my free period during senior year getting fucking tutored, angel,” he chuckles lowly, his hand running through your hair gently. 

the soft look in his eye causes you to swallow nervously, words caught in your throat as you stare at him wide-eyed.

“i... i thought you... you said it was...” you let out a shaky breath as you try to get your thoughts together, completely unable to remember your conversation from weeks ago. when he cryptically asked you your thoughts about just why he agreed to stop lying to the teacher and do the sessions; 

so instead, your cheeks warm and you’re hit with the reminder that you just had your first kiss with him. and that you were probably absolutely terrible at it. 

“that was my first kiss. i... i’m sorry if it was bad.”

a small smile crosses yeonjun’s face as he shakes his head at you, thumb dragging down your cheek gently to feel the warm, smooth skin of your cheek. 

“it was perfect, angel, you’re perfect.” he mumbles, your eyes widening and heart stuttering as a ball forms in your throat. “so perfect that i thought you stood me up and weren’t coming. so let’s go on date. a real date, this time.”

in the beginning of the school year, you would’ve never imagined your study sessions with yeonjun would be turning into dinner dates; but as you sit in your room and get ready, your heart pounding and palms sweaty, that’s exactly what’s happened. 

it’s the fourth date you guys are going on and you can officially say that you really, really have feelings for yeonjun. you’re still shy and nervous around him but it’s only because he’s more comfortable with you too.

he takes your hand with ease and laces your fingers together that he was meant to do that.

he’ll shamelessly peck a kiss to your lips and deepen it at any given time, your cheeks burning and embarrassed voice telling him to stop when he did it in the middle of the bowling alley last week. 

he’ll watch you and smile at you and just touch you with the softest of intentions, you almost can’t believe this is the bad boy everyone claims is so mean and heartless. 

you say almost because you still don’t do it in school. it’s still a somewhat... secret fondness you have for one another. he’ll play with your fingers under the table during sessions and wink at you in the hallway but that’s about it. 

he’d probably never kiss you in the hallway or cafeteria but you also wouldn’t want that. it would draw way too much attention and probably leave your face with a permanent, embarrassing flush. 

“are you going out?” you hear your mom ask, her head peeking in before a smile brightens her face. “aw, you look beautiful, y/n. yeonjun must be coming soon.”

the topic of dating had been undeniably embarrassing with your parents, mostly because they couldn’t believe you were showing an interest. but they welcomed yeonjun with open arms, insisting to meet him at the front door to ensure he was a nice boy.

and oh had he really showed you just how charming he could be. 

“mom,” you whine in embarrassment, her laugh echoing in your room as he throws her arms up defensively. 

“you guys be careful. it’s supposed to rain soon.”

you nod your head as you finish getting ready, smoothing over your hair once more before your phone vibrates against your desk. he texted you that he was on his way with a smiley face and heart, sending one back before looking at yourself in the mirror. 

you don’t know what the hell he sees you or why he likes you but you know if you dwell on it, you’ll talk yourself out of everything. convince yourself that this is all a joke and he’s gonna turn around and say he pities you. 

even though, when you brought this up to him, he was quick to calm those worries. 

“c-can i ask you something, yeonjun?”

you were walking home from the movies with your hands intertwined.

the cold, harsh winter had blossomed into spring, the night air growing less frigid; there was a still a bit of a chill but it was nothing a jacket and yeonjun’s warm body couldn’t fix.

“of course, angel,” he mumbles lowly, a small smile on his face as you stop in your tracks. he’s quick to follow, eyebrow raising and body turning so he can look down at you. 

he cocks his head to the side when you don’t speak for a few seconds, his lips falling into a pout as his hand tightens in yours.

“you okay?” he asks quietly, thumb tracing small circles into your skin. 

you lick over your lips nervously, feeling silly for the need to ask this question but it’s one you can’t help. it wracks your mind over and over again and it feels like you’re about to-

“why do you like me?” you blurt out, unaware you even said the words until you notice yeonjun’s face morph into one of surprise. 

his mouth opens and closes for a moment, brows pulled together as he tries to make sense of your words.

“i mean, what’s not to like?” he asks softly, taking you by the hips and pulling you closer to him. 

you’re in the middle of the sidewalk but there’s no one around, the sky dark and streets desolate as you both meet each others gazes - yours full of doubt and his full of confusion. 

“i... i don’t know,” you mumble sheepishly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “i just... it doesn’t really make sense.”

“why? because i’m older? because you’re smart and i’m not?” he teases, your panicked eyes immediately meeting his.

“no! more like the exact opposite,” you clarify as you shake your head. “because you’re popular and attractive and charming and i’m just.... not.”

his eyes roam your face and his heart sinks when he sees the doubt and nerves continue to grow. how you really feel this way about yourself and are pondering the idea that someone like him would want someone like you, when really, it should be the opposite. 

“y/n, i’m lucky that you’re settling for me,” the pink-haired boy laughs out, squeezing your hips reassuringly. “you’re good and sweet and so fucking beautiful. i wanted you the second i saw you, you know, but knew i shouldn’t.”

your eyes widen at his words, shock behind them that has a laugh bubbling from his chest. 

“in lunch. i noticed you the first day and thought you were an angel,” he says, the nickname he always calls you particularly getting the butterflies going tonight. 

“i could tell that you were good. you just have this.. aura, y/n, and i knew that i would taint it. i knew you deserved someone way better. because i’m not good like you.”

"yes you are,” you respond immediately, a frown appearing on your face as you shake your head. “you pretend not to be, but you are, yeonjun. i can see it.”

“you can see it because i wanna be good around you, baby. i wanna be someone good for you.”

tears prick your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond to that. he smiles softly as he takes in your face, leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead. 

he inhales your sweet, vanilla smell while you take in his cologne and faint scent of cigarettes, swallowing down the lump and praying you don’t burst into tears on the spot. 

“don’t doubt yourself, angel,” yeonjun mumbles against your head, puling you closer until your flush against his warm, broad body. “i’m the one who got lucky here.” 

even though it meant wasting away in the fucking library. 

“the library isn’t that bad, yeonjun,” you whine ten minutes later in his car, heat blasting and music low as he drives to the restaurant. one hand’s on the steering wheel while the other’s laced with yours, your body turned in his black leather seat to look over and chastise him. 

he confessed to you that your sessions were the first time he’d ever stepped foot in that library; he hadn’t even been positive that school had a library until he walked through the door that day. 

“it smells like dust and the librarian’s a bitch.”

“she is not!” you squeal, smacking his arm lightly as you throw him a chastising look. “she’s just a little... misunderstood. people don’t respect her space.”

even you can admit sometimes she does go a little overboard; you saw her once lecture a younger student for a half hour because they mistakenly put a book on the wrong shelf. 

“you’re too nice, baby. maybe even a little biased, since you’re the only one she seems to tolerate.”

“probably because i’m there every day,” you tease lightly, your eyes widening playfully before a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump in your seat.

your mom hadn’t been kidding when she said there was gonna be a storm tonight. you’d ran to yeonjun’s car shielding the top of your head, rain pelting down and wind howling as your mom’s “be careful!” got drowned out.

and right now, it only seemed to be getting worse. 

“you scared of thunder?” 

you hear the smirk in yeonjun’s voice and resist the urge to stick your tongue out, not about to admit that, yes, you’re nearly an adult but still terrified of rain and thunder. 

“no, of-of course not,” you grumble, snatching your hand away from his. “it just surprised me.”

yeonjun looks over at you and sees the nervousness all your face, not commenting as he silently snatches your hand back. he intertwines your fingers as he raises your hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against it while he drives through the rain.

it’s getting considerably heavier by every second, his foot pressing off the gas every time he drives past a puddle. 

“i used to be scared of the rain, you know.” 

you look over at him and see him looking peacefully at the road, pink strands of hair hanging in his face. 

“oh, yeah? when you were like five?”

“twelve,” he corrects with a smile, doing his best to distract you from the chaos outside. “i used to wake up crying, sometimes. i know that’s hard to believe now. because i’m so cool and what not.”

“oh please,” you giggle out, the sweet sound filling the car also distracting him from the pounding of rain and crackling of thunder; he’s outgrown his fear of storms but even he can admit this one is a little bit scary right now. 

“what, you don’t think? i’ll have you know-”

the skidding of his tires mixed with your frightened screams is the next thing he hears, a strangled “yeonjun!” in the background as he attempts to take control of his car.

there’s the boom of thunder and lightning and loud blares of horns before everything goes still, his body acting on auto pilot as he safely pulls off on the side of the highway.

his first concern isn’t damage to his car or the heightening storm outside - it’s you in his passenger seat, eyes closed tight and tears on your face. 

“are you okay?” yeonjun’s voice frantically asks, barely able to feel the sensation of his his warm hands on your face. your heart’s pounding and your hands are shaking and for a moment, you thought you were about to die. 

your eyes pop open to meet his and the concern in them only makes your eyes water more, bottom lip trembling as you nod your head. 

but even though you’re nodding he sees you’re not. he sees you trying to catch your breath and your eyes looking back and forth nervously outside.

“hey, hey, angel. it’s okay. i’m here,” he hums lowly, his thumbs running over your face soothingly. “i’m here and you’re okay.”

you attempt to catch and slow your breaths as your eyes never leave his, his only leaving you to quickly assess you for injuries.

“i know that was scary. i’m sorry. i should’ve been more careful.”

“it wasn’t your fault,” you squeak out, swallowing the knot in your throat as you shake your head. your eyes roam his and you pout when there’s guilt and sorrow in his eyes, your own hand snaking down to hold his hand. 

“are you okay?”

his eyes soften as he cups your face and brings you to closer to him, a quiet “yes, baby,” leaving his mouth before he places his lips on your forehead.

you breathe in his scent and he breathes in yours, not allowing himself to pull away until he feels you relax under him.

“i’m gonna drive us to my house, okay?” he says, his eyes back on you looking cautious. “we can order food. i just don’t want us driving in this if it’s gonna get worse.”

you nod your head before reaching down to grasp one of his hands tightly, his small smile meeting you before he carefully pulls back onto the highway. 

the storm gets substantially worse as he makes his way to his house, hand grasping yours tightly as he drives slow and steady. 

he’s flooded with relief when he finally pulls in his driveway, running around the passenger side door to help you out. his hand doesn’t leave the small of your back until you’re in his room, a big space with white walls and black furniture that doesn’t surprise you in the slightest.

contrary to most teenage boy’s rooms, his smells really good. like a mix of his cologne, laundry detergent and a distinct smell you’ve just deemed as his natural scent.

it’s comforting and makes you feel at ease, licking over your lips nervously as you realize this is the first time you’ve been in a boy’s room.

“you want anything to drink?”

“i...i’m good,” you say, sitting on his bed as you look around.

there’s no decor on the walls except for a large flat screen tv across from his bed and above his dresser, a pile of clothes off to the side. 

“sorry, i didn’t expect to have anyone over so it’s a little messy.”

you look over at him sitting beside you, a sheepish smile on his face. you think it’s the first time he’s ever sounded somewhat... nervous and out of his comfort zone. 

maybe because he knows you’ve never been in this situation before. 

“it’s okay, i like your room,” you smile, spreading your fingers out across his soft, dark comforter. “it’s very fitting.”

“oh yeah?” he smirks, inching closer to you and making your heart speed up. “and why’s that?”

there’s that dark playfulness you’re so used to seeing swarming behind his eyes, just as teasing as it is intense that makes you hold back a squeak. he quirks his eyebrow as he moves closer, pink tongue peeking out to roll over his lips.

you can’t help when your eyes fall to them, missing the feel of them on yours. 

you two haven’t gone past making out, a clash of tongues and teeth that have you quietly moaning into his mouth. but when your body acts on its own accord, pushing yourself closer to him or grasping at the bottom of his shirt, he always stops you.

“what are you doin’ baby?”

you were in his car after a tutoring session, the parking lot of the school completely deserted. your cheeks flush and you immediately draw your hands back, lowering your head slightly as embarrassment took over. 

“i...i thought that was...don’t you wanna...”

because clothes come off, that’s how it starts - you know that much.

and you can feel how much he wants to go further, the hardness under you that scared you at first now the thing begging you to go further.

you feel wanted and desired and even though you’re scared, you want to go further.

“we don’t have to do anything, baby. this is fine,” he says softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. 

“but i want to,” you mumble, not even sure if he can hear your words because of how quiet you are. 

you know he must though because he draws his fingers under your chin to lift your face, eyes heavy of fondness and arousal making your stomach flutter more. 

your first instinct is to assume he doesn’t want you - why else would he stop you? but you can see in his eyes that he does...right? because it really does look like that.

what other reason would he have to stop you though? maybe he just doesn’t-

“whatever you’re thinking is probably wrong,” yeonjun mutters, tightening his hold on you and bringing you closer to him. “i don’t wanna go further with you while we’re in the car, angel. you deserve more than that.”

“hm?” you hear him hum, ripping you from your memories. 

you look from his lips to his eyes watching you with lust, the beginnings of your nonsense words cut off when he kisses you. 

your heart flutters and stomach swoops immediately, kissing back with an embarrassing amount of fervor. he smirks against your lips as he pulls you on his lap, your arms circling around his shoulders.

his tongue traces your bottom lip before you feel it in your mouth, daringly meeting his back in a way you’d never done before. it causes him to bring his hands to your hips, squeezing and massaging them with his large hands. 

“look at you,” he mutters almost condescendingly, falling back onto his bed and causing you to squeal. you’re holding yourself above him and his eyebrow is quirked, red lips puffy and pink hair messy causing your heart to flutter mercilessly.

“if i didn’t know any better, baby, i’d think you’re real eager tonight.”

you bite down on your lip as you adjust yourself on him, your hips straddling his and brushing over him. your building heat is right under him and it takes everything in you not to moan at just the thought, his hands strong and firm.

and just as you’re about to answer, tell him that, yes, even though you’re not familiar with.... any of this, you’re eager and ready, your stomach growls and ruins the moment.

it causes a smile to light up his face, a deep chuckle leaving him before he flips you over. he’s hovering above you now, no parts of your bodies touching except for his hand a few inches away from your head. 

“or you’re hunger, my mistake, angel,” he says with a smirk, pressing a peck to your nose sweetly. “what do you want?”

you spend the next hour laying in his bed waiting for the pizza, the storm just as wild outside as it was when you were in the car. you bit down on a squeal threatening to leave your mouth every time there was a terrifying boom, your body shimming closer to yeonjun’s.

he smiled against your head and welcomed your body closer, bringing your head to his chest.

“you’re cute,” you hear him mumble, the swooping in your stomach causing you to feel warm.

you look up at him and smile shyly, tucking your head closer into his chest. you have to hide your growing smile when you feel his lips brush your head, deep content hums leaving his chest.

the doorbell ringing rips you two apart, his mumbled “i’ll be right back,’ causing you to sit up. you brush your fingers through your hair as you sit up, looking around his dark room and feeling something brewing in your stomach.

you feel every bit as nervous as you do excited and eager in his room with him right now. 

it’s still scary because you’re new to this. because you’ve never done anything like this before and you know you don’t know what you’re doing. 

but a part of you wants to kiss him on his bed. go further than he’s allowed you to because if he only didn’t want to be with you in the car, this should solve that problem, right?

you’ve never felt as desired and warm as you have with him these past months. no one’s ever looked at you the way he does or have made you feel the way he does. 

you’re usually too scared or uneasy to talk to people or form a connection; but from the moment you met him, you were able to do that. a part of you just felt inclined to help him, be a person that he knows would be there for him even if it meant in the form of helping him study or motivate him.

you never would’ve expected for him to reciprocate your feelings. nor would you have expected to be in this current situation, want and need bubbling in your stomach at the thought of yeonjun doing-

“pizza’s here,” yeonjun says, popping his head through the door holding a box of pizza. 

you smile upon seeing it, your stomach growling at the smell; if he hears it, he doesn’t say anything. just walks over and places the box on his bed, offering you a slice that you take immediately.

“thank you,” you squeak, bringing the food to your mouth.

he watches you for a few seconds, suddenly all too aware of him looking at you. you raise an eyebrow as you chew, a shy look coming over your face that causes him to smile. 

“what?”

“nothing,” he says, shaking his head as he takes out his own slice. “my mom called me and said they can’t come home tonight because of the storm.”

you take the time to chew your food as you take in his words, the fluttering in your stomach a mix of nerves and excitement. 

“oh.”

“yeah...” he hums, his eyes roaming your face; he doesn’t want his next suggestion to make you uncomfortable but he also thinks it would be best. for both of you. 

“and i don’t know if i should drive you home, angel. it’s supposed to get really bad. do you... wanna stay over?”

there’s a lump in your throat for all the reasons there shouldn’t be. 

not because this is your first time sleeping over a boy’s house or the fact that his parents aren’t home. or because you’re gonna have to call your mom and say you’re sleeping over a friend’s house.

or even because you don’t know what to expect tonight.

it’s only there because you know, in a new form of acting on your deeper desires and not suppressing yourself to just being some innocent girl, you wanna get railed.

“i... i guess i can do that,” you say, some nervousness still behind your voice because when it comes down to it, you’re unfamiliar with this situation. 

“well yeah, but do you want to, baby?” he asks with a small smirk, his hand reaching up to toy with your hair. 

his long fingers run through the strands before tucking them behind your ear, his hand slinking down to rest on your neck.

“if you don’t feel comfortable, i’ll take you home later,” he says, thumb running across your skin slowly. breath catches in your throat when he leans closer to you, his lingering scent and broadness causing you to bite down on your lip.

“i just thought it’d be nice to lay with you tonight. or wake up with you.”

“or let us go further since we’re not in the car.” 

you don’t know who’s more shocked by your words but you know you’re definitely more embarrassed, a rampant blush crossing your cheeks as you attempt to hide in his shoulder.

he’s quick to pull you away with a small “tsk,” the smirk on his lips quickly widening despite the soft look in his eyes. 

you bite back the noise threatening to leave your mouth when he wraps his hand around you hair, the slightest of stings ripping through your scalp when he pulls you forward.

“go further?” he asks lowly, his eyes peering down at you only making you feel more warm and flustered. 

words are caught in your mouth and you can’t find it in you to say anything. not only because you’re too embarrassed but you don’t even know what to say.

you know you want more than kissing and that there’s always a building pressure between your legs when he pulls you on his lap. 

you know on more than one occasion, you’ve wanted his hands that’d rest on your hips to go just a little further down. slip in the waistband of your pants and meet the wetness and heat through your underwear.

you’ve wanted to see his pink hair between your legs as you experience getting eaten out of the first time, holding back moans in the crease of your elbow as his tongue explores every inch of you. 

you know you want to look up at him with tears in your eyes and a heaving chest, ask if you can please suck him off because you’ve also never done that before. 

he can see the arousal and lust clouding your eyes the more the silence elapses, his cock quickly hardening as he takes in the sight of you on his bed ready for him to take you. 

it’s just a matter of how and when he’s gonna. how and when you tell him like the good girl he knows you are. 

“how much further are you thinking, angel?” his deep voice finally asks, successfully breaking the silence and building the thick tension. 

you let out a breathy exhale when he pushes you on your back, the knot in your stomach tightening as he looks down at your body. 

“what do you want me to do, huh?” he asks, the smirk and feeling in his chest growing when he sees you start to breathe heavily on his bed. your legs are nearly shaking from the build up in pressure, your tongue licking over your dry lips. 

“i... yeonjun...”

he bites back the groan threatening to leave his mouth at you moaning his name, holding himself above your body as he hand spays out against your stomach. 

“why are you moaning my name baby? i haven’t even done anything.”

“but... but i want you to. so bad.”

your voice is whiny and pathetic but it’s all it takes for him to snap, his hand moving from your stomach to between your legs. 

he can feel the heat and pulse of your pussy and has to suppress his own groan again, completely getting off on the feeling that you, the innocent little tutor he’s been wanting to ruin since he saw you last year, is laid out on his bed and dripping just for him. 

“please, yeonjun,” you whine again, completely out of your mind with lust when you feel his hand on you. 

he bites down on his lip before he starts gently running his hand over you, barely putting any pressure on you. he’s just relishing in the how only that makes you spread your legs immediately, hips bucking up closer to his hand. 

he pulls his hand away and pins your hips to the bed, his face hovering above yours before you can even whine again. 

“be patient, angel. or this isn’t gonna work,” he growls lowly, his thumbs running over your pants gently. 

“i- i’m sorry,” you gasp out, tears pricking your eyes because this feeling is so new and foreign and overwhelming. “i just... i’m so...”

“you’re so what?”

“i want you,” you say immediately, thinking back to your conversation with him outside of soobin’s house. when the words you’re telling him now are the same ones he told you. “i want you more than you know.”

a scoff leaves his mouth when you say that, remembering those words leaving his own mouth that night.

but the difference here is, he thinks, is that you really didn’t know that.

you didn’t know how just sitting there and smiling at him and talking to him so sweetly was making him want you. your soft smiles and vanilla scent and the wide-eyed look you’d always innocently give him.

but he’s aware of how much you want him, in this moment. he can feel it, smell it, see it. he knows just how much you want him because he wants you the same way. 

your pants and underwear are off in one shot, a gasp leaving your mouth when you realize you’re completely bare in front of him. 

he’s quick to look at your face to see if you’re okay, that teary wide-eyed look and teeth sinking in your lip greeting him; another whiney and mumbled “touch me,” leaves your mouth before he can ask.

a smile lights up his face that makes your heart jump even through this all, a teasing look in his eye even through the arousal and painful hardness in his pants.

“say please, angel.”

“please touch me, yeonjun. please.”

his fingers are on your clit right after the words leave you, your mouth hanging open and legs spreading when you’re immediately filed with a sense of some relief. 

“you’re so wet for me, angel. how long have you wanted this, huh?”

you babble out something you can’t even hear through your pounding ears but it must be something good and polite enough because you feel a finger enter you a few seconds later.

he hisses at the tightness around his finger and has to remember to be gentle with you, fingering you slowly and sweetly as he toys at your clit. 

“you’re doing so good, baby. so good for me.”

you cry out a moan that has his fingers moving quicker, curling them just right before you scream out his name; you’ve never ever felt anything like this before.

“yeonjun, oh, my god.”

“i know, baby, it’s okay,” he says, allowing his fingers to work over you and in you for a few seconds before he forces himself to remove them. your head shoots up and the sight almost makes him smile, a frustrated look in your teary eyes that has him cocking his head.

“why did you-”

the fingers just inside you are below your chin, the slickness of his fingers on your skin making you widen your eyes. is that... is he about to make you...

you hold back another moan when you watch him raise his fingers to his own mouth, his eyes rolling back when he tastes you. you don’t know if you’re a little grossed out or even more turned on but you think it must be the latter if the way your legs start to shake again and your lower stomach tightens. 

“you taste so fucking sweet, angel. can i eat your pussy?”

he could tell how scared you were when you first got here, not seeing a hint of that fear now but still needing to check before he pulls you on his face and has his way with you.

“y-yes, please, yeonjun, oh my-”

you can’t even get the words out before his hands are taking off your shirt, removing the straps of your bra and pushing them down until your boobs pop out. 

perky nipples spring into the air and he can’t stop the groan that leaves him, circling his tongue around each of them before he tells you to unhook it. your eyes meet his for just a few seconds before you reach out to take it off, quickly throwing it on the floor before you, without thinking, cover yourself. 

his eyes flash and he immediately snaps out of his trance, placing his hands on your arms but not attempting to move them. 

“what are you doing, angel?”

and it’s at this moment, something as silly as him seeing your chest completely naked, that you’re feeling insecure. 

you know he’s been with girls before this, college girls who definitely have bigger boobs than you and know what they’re doing. girls who are prettier and sexier and don’t blush or whine at the slightest hint of his touch of them. 

“i... i know you’ve been with prettier girls before. an-and i don’t think they’re that nice.”

“angel, i don’t know if i’ve gotten this across enough but you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever met,” he says, the sweetest words to ever leave his mouth not even making him blink.

because he needs you to know in this moment that you are. he can’t stand the insecure, fearful look in your eye that he’s not gonna find you desirable because you’re comparing yourself to other people. 

“that’s a lie,” you weakly mumble out, tears stinging your eyes because this is so stupid. now you’re ruining the moment and he’s not gonna wanna do this with you. you’re proving just how inexperienced and unfamiliar you are with-

“i don’t lie.”

your eyebrow raises and he can’t help but smirk, the realization that your whole relationship started off lying to your teacher making him let out a deep chuckle. 

“i mean i don’t lie to you, angel, i would never lie to you,” he says, reaching down to press a long kiss on your lips. it’s the most intimate kiss you’ve ever had with him, mouths parting on one another like you’re trying to get all your worries and reassurances out on one another.

him that you’re just as desirable as he knows you are and you that you really don’t know what you’re doing but you wanna do this with him. 

“you’re beautiful, baby, and if anyone’s not worthy of the other, it’s me.”

his words make your eyebrows pull together, the look in his eye one you’ve never seen before. probably the most vulnerable and honest you’ve seen him look at you. 

“but i’m gonna do my best to be, angel, so please... don’t think that,” he says, pulling your arms away from your chest. 

he feels relief flood through him when you allow him to do say, his head dipping again to place small pecks on your chest before taking another nipple in his mouth. 

he moans around you at the same time you do, throwing your head back against his pillow. your fingers lace through the back of his pink hair and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing, moaning out his name when his tongue carefully and slowly licks around the other neglected one. 

“you also have the sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted,” he mumbles around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it one more time before grabbing your hips and throwing himself on his back. 

“so sit on my face, angel. now.”

you have no time to feel hesitant or insecure because, one, he pulls you up before you can do anything else and two, you’re far too eager to feel this for the first time. 

his tongue latching onto your clit causes you to moan out his name, trying your best to not buck your hips against his face. but his tongue feels like it’s everywhere, flicking at it your clit and up inside you and quickly making your legs shake around him. 

your hazy eyes look down and you see his own looking up at you, a hot arousal in them as you cover the rest of his face with your body. pink strands stick to his forehead and you bite down on your lip so you don’t scream, your eyes rolling back when he eats you out like a man starved.

he’s moaning against you and pulling you closer to his face, your hips bucking into his mouth as you whine out his name over and over. 

you’re so out of it and dazed with arousal and need that you don’t even think twice when an idea pops into your head. 

you buck your hips a tad harder than usual that he disconnects his mouth from you, about to ask if he hurt you somehow before you flip over on his face. your body leans over his stomach until your mouth is by the tight groin of his sweatpants, clumsily slipping down his boxers until his cock springs free.

it’s hard and red and looks completely neglected, screaming to be relieved by you.

so even though you have no idea what you’re doing, only guided by works of fiction and things you hear in the hallway, you wrap your mouth around the head of his cock.

you hear him growl at your name but only continue to suck him off, your tongue circling around him as your mouth moves up and down. you smile when he moans against your pussy just so moan around his a few seconds later, like he knew you were smiling against him at hearing that noise leave him.

he didn’t think he could get any harder than he already was but you continue to impress him and prove him wrong, his mouth working quicker on you to aid in his growing arousal. 

a loud moan of your name leaves his mouth when you deep throat him, a growled “fuck,” against your wetness that makes you whine against him. 

“i wanna fuck your mouth so badly,” he growls against you, wrapping his tongue around your clit just as you let out a strangled “please.” but he only shakes his head and continues his vigorous assault, sticking two fingers inside you that causes your scream to be muffled around his cock.

“you’re gonna come first, angel. i want you to come on my fucking face.”

and even though he already seemed to know it from the moment he met you, he sees that what he wants from you, he’s always gonna get. 

your lower stomach tightens before a feeling of euphoria consumes you, your legs shaking and hips bucking before an orgasm rips right through you. your head is leant against his head as you try to catch your breath, whining slightly when he pulls you off of him.

he lays you down gently on the bed before placing a kiss to your cheek. 

“you did so good, angel. how do you feel?”

“mmm.. that was the best thing i’ve ever felt.”

a deep laugh leaves him at your sleepy, dazed look, taking his shirt off so he can dab at your wet legs. you wince a little at the sensitivity and he mumbles an apology, laying on his back and opening his arms to you.

“lay with me, baby.”

a small smile crosses your face as you fall into his bare chest, sighing contently with your head resting over his chest. you can hear his heartbeat against your ear and feel his lips against your head, his fingers running over your arm slowly.

you’ve never been more comfortable and at ease than you are in this moment. even with the storm raging outside and the unknown parts of your relationship still coming, you feel happy. 

happy and safe and so stupidly content.  

“angel?”

you look up at him when you hear his voice break the silence, your chin against his chest as you meet his gaze. 

he smiles upon seeing you, his hand coming up to pat down your messy hair. 

“i like you. a lot.”

you bite down on your lip to hide your growing smile, daringly taking the first move to press a sweet peck on his lips.

“i like you, too. a lot, a lot,” you giggle out, the pink on your cheeks making his heart squeeze in his chest. “but i think you already knew that.”

“i was hoping,” he hums lowly, bringing you back into his chest. you smile against him as you inhale his scent, moving your body closer to him until you feel your leg hit a hard, fleshy piece of skin. 

your eyes widen and pulse quickens when you see he’s still hard and aching, the content look on his face completely disregarding it. 

“yeonjun...” you mumble, shamelessly staring at his dick a few inches from your leg. 

he peeks an eye open and sees you staring down at it, a sheepish smile crossing his face; he looks a tad embarrassed and you shouldn’t find it as endearing as you do. 

“sorry. it’ll go down eventually.”

eventually being when he gets up to go to the bathroom and jerks himself off. because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna go flaccid with you all naked and cuddled against him.

“you mean you’re not gonna fuck me?”

his eyes widen and cock twitches when those words leave your mouth, his hand falling to your jaw so you can look at him. his eyes roam your face when he sees the heavy desire building in your wide-eyed gaze, the perfect contrast of sweet and lustful that has him holding back a groan. 

“where did you learn to talk like this?” he hums lowly in your ear. 

you smirk against him before you bring your hand up to his mouth, his eyes searching yours. but you’re only staring back just as intensely, rubbing yourself against his leaking cock laying between you. 

“spit on it, please.”

he can’t even stop his groan from leaving him this time, painfully hard and ready to bust. you learned so fast what he likes and that’s when you’re both polite and eager.

“baby girl,” he moans, bringing his face down to place a messy, dominating kiss on yours. he pulls your mouths apart after allowing his tongue to explore your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips. 

his eyes fall to your mouth before he’s tipping your head back, your hand clutching onto his shoulder and tightening when, suddenly, he spits in your mouth. 

your eyes widen but he smirks before you can say anything, wordlessly bringing your hand to his mouth and spitting on it as you so requested. you let out a shaky sigh, eyeing him warily before he gives you a nod.

it’s only then that you wrap your hand around his cock, watching as his eyes flutter shut and he leans his head back. 

“there u go, angel,” he hums lowly, your hand twisting over the tip before exploring down. 

he can feel your hesitance and unsureness but it only makes it that much more enjoyable for him, knowing this is the first time you’ve done this - although he does wonder how you knew to spit on it first. 

his words spur you on and you wet your hand again, twisting and turning on every ridge of his cock. his moans of your name cause wetness to gather between your legs, your eyes meeting his to see them right on you.

“please fuck me, yeonjun.”

you didn’t have to ask him twice before he pushed you on your back. he fumbled to take his sweatpants off fully, discarding them on the floor before pulling you toward the end of bed.

you look down at him with furrowed eyebrows before a loud gasp leaves you, his mouth back on your pussy before he slides two fingers in. he preps you again until you’re coming around him, his mouth hot around you while his fingers are curled and relentless.

“p-please, yeonjun. i wanna- feel you.”

“and you will, angel, i promise,” he says, pressing one last kiss to your swollen, wet clit before going up to your face. “you’ve never done this before, right?”

he knows it and you know it but he still needs to ask. needs to know he’s gonna be the first person to take you and ruin you. 

“no,” you immediately respond, shaking your head as tears well up in your eyes. 

he responds by smiling, placing one last long kiss on your mouth before cupping your face gently.

“it might hurt, okay? i’ll go as slow as you need.”

you nod your head as you relax on your back, looking down to see him positioning himself between your legs. he swirls the tip of his dick around your wet clit and opening, watching as your dripping hole tries to suck him in.

“holy fuck,” he growls out, “you’re so wet, baby. it’s gonna feel so fucking good.”

you whine unintelligible words but he knows to just soothe you. bring his hand to your waist and rub slowly as he promises to be in you soon.

the stretch at first in painful and unfamiliar, your face pulled into a grimace despite the deep groan leaving him.

“oh, angel,” he growls lowly, his dark eyes meeting yours to see your face twisted in pain. “are you okay? does it hurt?”

“y-yes, but it’s okay. just... slow,” you say quietly, nodding your head reassuringly. 

he hovers over your face as he inches himself in further and further, your breaths shaky and body tense as the pain worsens. 

“i’m sorry, baby, you’re doing so good.”

you nod your head and he kisses away the tears, a sigh of relief leaving you when he stops moving. he’s still inside you for a few seconds, allowing your tight walls to adjust around him before he starts moving.

it takes a few thrusts for the burning pain to subside, replaced by a full, warm feeling that had you moaning quietly into the air. 

“does it feel good now, baby?” you hear yeonjun ask, his thrusts speeding up as his body lays over you. “do you like my cock in you?”

“y-yes,” you mumble out, throwing your legs around his waist. 

he growls lowly as he starts fucking into you, keeping his pace steady and just hard enough to make you lose your mind; because he doesn’t wanna hurt you but you also feel so good, he can’t help but chase after his orgasm.

“tell me you’re mine.”

“i-i’m yours, yeonjun,” you whimper out, his hand coming down to your clit making you cry out again. “i’m yours. yours, yours, yours,” you repeat dumbly, having no sense of control over yourself as an immense pleasure builds inside you. 

he thrusts into you hitting a certain spot that has a scream leaving your mouth, a sadistic smirk on his face.

“that’s right, angel. you’re mine. you’ve been mine ever since i saw you last year,” he growls lowly, remembering the first time he saw you and knew you were gonna somehow effect him like this. 

“i wanted to ruin you then, baby, because i knew you’d be mine.”

“yeonjun,” you whine, thrusting your hips into him at his words. remembering all the times he caught you staring at him. all the times you’d watch him and thought about how handsome he was.

how someone like him would never want someone like you. 

but he wants you and you want him and it’s still something you can’t quite believe. you know you’re both different but it seems to be something that works, him bringing you out of your comfort zone and you making him wanna be someone better.

“i’m gonna come, angel,” he grunts out, “i’m gonna fucking come. come with me.”

you feel the knot in your stomach unravel before you’re both moaning each other’s names, chests heaving and his breathing harsh as he holds himself lazily above you. 

he drops his head into the crook of your neck, attempting to catch his breath despite the feeling of your post orgasm spazzing around him.

the pounding takes a few seconds to subside, a final moan leaving him before he pulls out of you. 

he’s quick to collapse onto his back, hanging his arm off the bed lazily as he searches for his shirt. 

he cleans you up a few moments later, watching you with a small smile before he pulls you down onto him again.

“how was that?” he mumbles quietly, his eyes closed and head resting atop yours. 

“really good,” you mumble back, your own eyes closed as you attempt to catch your breath. you still feel a little sticky but it’s not something you mind in this moment, your post orgasm daze leaving you content. 

it could be the post orgasm daze making you say the next words that leave your mouth. on such a high of emotions and endorphins and utter contentment that the warm feeling in your chest if confused.

or maybe it’s the months of getting to know the boy beside you who had such a bad reputation. who you were terrified of at first and thought was mean an scary, thought for sure he was gonna find you weird and nerdy.

but you’ve never felt more wanted or desired by another person. no one’s ever looked at you the way he’s looked at you before or made you feel the way he’s made you feel. 

“i... i think i love you, yeonjun.”

love had always scared yeonjun and especially hearing a confession like that after sex - it had always been his worst nightmare and, truthfully, an embarrassing moment.

but he’s never felt as listened to and comforted by someone else ever in his life before. someone who, from the second he met them, trusted him and thought of him to be good and smart and capable. 

he didn’t know why and he didn’t know what he did for you to think of him that way but he knows he’s never gonna take it for granted. because from the second he saw you, he really did know you were gonna be his.

“i think i might love you, too, angel.”