#me: deep sigh. i cant.
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ÖMER (2023) EPISODE 24 | S2EP3
#ömer#ömgam#ömer dizi#selahattin paşalı#gökçe bahadır#ömer ademoğlu#gamze ademoğlu#omeredit#turkishedit#the way i let out a deep melancholic sigh while making each gif#like im trying so hard to be normal about this#i remember seeing a clip of this on twitter and just being like 'wow that fandom's lucky' and moving on#i cant believe the omer dizi was getting down like this and i just ignored it#unbelievable.#also a little surprised they didn't get rtuk'd#anyway if you see me reblogging this gifset every couple of months NO YOU DIDN'T
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btw if i make kaveh say "oh my god" pls imagine him say that EXACTLY the way his english VA does bc its always stuck in my head with how funny and perfect it is ajkcjkab
#i dont play in english unless im outside of paimon scenes bc i carry deep hatred for her english voice#(its bc of my misophonia she just immediately triggers it fr)#so cn dub supremacy everyone sounds very good and paimon is not screeching ur ears off#but sometimes i play in english and theres always kinda iconic stuff sticking with me i cant get out of my head akjbjkc#kavehs panicked 'WHO ARE THEY??' in haithams sq and his 'oh my god!!' from the event and that stream belongs to that akjbcsk#also haithams very iconic 'KAAAAAAAAAveh' and his unbothered 'see ya' AHA i love his english voice and tone sm#sigh sigh#i really want a volume slider for characters voices i played a game (which i cant remember) where it had this setting where u could adjust#characters voice volumes#the way i would make english paimon shut tf up so i can actually sometimes switch to english for a change in story quests#her pitch and tone is just so extremely upsetting#anw enough english pamon slander in the tags LMFAO#tbd
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hi
#everyone call out of work tmrw challenge#how r u all.#does anyone else think its fucked that laios fav food is cheesecake#ppl who enjoy cheesecake cant keep getting away w it#anyways .#im bored . and my eye hurts#and im staring at my computer bc i want to draw but i also want to keep laying down#sigj . sighing#i wish dmesh had trgn chara depth#not to say dmesh charas arent deep or developed but#i like when fucked up things r happening in universe and they r messy a sa result and u have more emotional connection to whats happening#like yeah im sad ab falin for a while but does laios know what vash and knives and wolfwood had to go through. livio or elendira . does he#right… right#smth ab the visceral hatred and despair shared among thr trgn cast.. im obsessed . give me 14 more
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i know there’s not going to be any romanced dialogue for this but it’s so funny and dreadful for ivar to romance alistair and have had a son with mardy. if this playthrough goes as planned alistair won’t have come out about his parentage by orzammar so i just have to imagine him getting suddenly uptight and snarky abt it and ivar being like okay yeah i’m a royal deadbeat dad why is it relevant to you like what’s your problem?? and alistair’s like NOTHING!!! i just think. you should pay child support. maybe play catch with the kid once in a while. or whatever dads do. for all you knew they could have been leaving him to sleep in the kennels with the h. with the. with the NUGS
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Alex Stowe is the personification of burnout and depression to me.
#tzu rambles#i wanna elaborate but my brains not working#but in short like. holing himself up and isolating himself. and then working and working and working all alone#and he becomes irritable. so this art isnt really helping him because hes isolated and upset#he's not very good at confiding in people and communicating. when hes struggling he tends to pull away. a lot.#he's got short happy periods and then slis into deppression and exhaustion again#everything overwhelms him and it constantly goes on about how he cant sleep or he doesnt eat or really doesnt do much of anything at all#if i had a dollar everytime alex said he was exhausted#whether its emotionally or physically#i could buy a yacht#its really sad to me. he makes me sad#and then he gets reckless or irresponsible because hes so deep in this pit. he struggles to get out of it#sigh
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ookay fine yes maybe I saw a yonderland out of context video and watched the first episode what about it.
#cant get over 'doesnt seem very impressive' 'trevor youre a BLOB'#so yes im obsessed with the weird gay guy ben willbond plays. the elder.#i literally just watched episode one no spoilers#like i thought i understood vaguely what its about and i watched the out of context vid#and had LESS of an idea what its about#anyway 'cant i just call you elf' '... bit racist.' made me CHOKE#the absolute out of pocket-ness... insanity#idk where the name 'the six idiots' came from but#new hyperfixation alert? perhaps#just. the way its an ensemble of people playing a rotating cast is very fun#i like it. the theater of it is very good#very ofmd honestly#i like my tv shows to not take themselves seriously and be absolutely absurd#but with a deep sadness and melancholic triumph of the human spirit and kindness if you think about it for more than 8 seconds#thats my kind of tv#ANYWAY#yonderland#sigh#jennie watches yonderland
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sigh
#i think the universe is playing a prank on me here#that at age 14 i went#'rip to rose but i would never fall in love with the doctor could never be me'#and then to be faced with 13 and the realisation that rip to rose but im not different#and then and THEN#they put this fucker back in there so now im#here#like#ive done my best for my lesbianisms#ive put work into my lesbian tendencies alright#not a lesbian but i believe in their beliefs deeply#so like excuse me mr tennant but you cant just get back in here and have me googling#your fucking eye colour#just bc im that far gone for the thIRTEENTH doctor#thirteen. alright. hear me? mr tennant. thirteen.#its brown btw#which is great for the sentence i was about to write but thats really my only win here#deep deep sigh#i dont even like him!#likewith all due respect it wasnt mr wet sad puppy eyes who had me looking up the kinsey scale at 2 in the morning after the giggle alright#im hijacking his whole noble-temple-doctor happy ending just to write more thasmin and yET#yet i find myself#here. googling david tennants eye colour#we find ways to keep struggling on dont we#hes not that special!!!!!
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i wont believe it there's no way they could make the characters I love more morally gray there's no way there's no way they could make them more unforgiven to me there's no way there's no <- sobbing internally please I cant press that button unless I'm deeply uncomfortable please please..... PLEASE I'm on my hands and knees milgram production team I cant do this I'll cry if I have to press guilty for yuno, mahiru, or kazui.
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This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-
Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.
(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)
#clover speaks#clover vents#hating bi lesbians is not terf rhetoric vagina art is not terf rhetoric medical sexism is not a terf topic#everytime you call some form or bigotry or some form of deep cut feminism you dont know shit about terf rhetoric#another trans person loses their wings#terfs harm people via certain avenues in specific ways#you've turned it into a fucking meaningless buzzword to decribe everything from opinions you dont like to actual bigotry#its basically gotten the exclusionist radical regressive gatekeep gaslight terreatmemt#words that mean very specific real things but gets so overused it means fuck all now#if your explanation for why something is supposed terf rhetoric is just something something splitting the community#something something exclusionary something something heard one say it once then you dont have the authority to fucking talk about it#I've been in the trenches fighting terfs and learning about their veiws and mindsets to accurately fight and rehabilite them#the hell they've actively put me and many other trans people through can not be understated#one called you a name one sent you a hate anon and sudeenly your the master of knowledge? gtfo#the specifics and deep rooted hate and history of that group is serious and every time you call some fucking#meaningless community discourse about if some inane insult is a slur like stupid or freak and call it terf rhetoric#you give terfs more fog to hide in you obscure the enemy that much more#you make it harder to find real actual terfs and their nazi friends when you call a fucking antikin a terf for being antikin#stop comparing other groups to terfs and heres a quick ajd easy way to identify if something is actually fucking terf rhetoric#dose the topic specifically talk about terfs or terfism or transmysogny/transandrophobia in the context of exclusionary radical feminism?#if the answer is yes then their might KEY WORD MIGHT be terf rhetoric involved.#if the answer is no then its not fucking terf rhetoric plain and fucking simple#find another buzzword milo because transmedicalism by definition cant BE FUCKING TRANS EXCLUSIONARY RADICAL FEMINIST RHETORIC#God this fucking community sometimes is so fucking exhausting#reminding me yet again that its mostly young and mostly people who lose their minds when i bring up terfs and racism#and yes you perisex afab trans person who thinks this isnt about you and the random shit youve false flagged as terfy#this is about you and your misusage of a serious allegation and association to falsely claim some terminally online take is terfy#You just make me hold my head in my hands and sigh really loud and try not to send you to the shadow realm#Not everything an alleged terf believes makes something terfism or terfy#please actually learn what words mean before you use them and make an ass of yourself called some tranfem exclusionist a fucking terf psyop
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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It's really hard to get over the childhood wound of "no one believes me or listens to me so I can't trust anyone or go to anyone for support and therefore have to handle everything myself" when that shit is still happening to me as an adult in my 30s lol
#'heal the wounds your inner child is still nursing' doc my outer adult is still being wounded this way lol#personal#like every time i go to my manager and say im fed up of being mistreated and clients being rude#she gets this condescending motherly tone like 'no theyre not being rude theyre just frustrated' as if it cant be both#and then my spouse telling me he's fed up of hearing me say im exhausted and that i dread work#like im not even looking for advice or deep support i just want to sigh and say im exhausted sometimes bc i sleep badly#i cant do a damn thing about it i just want to say it to someone i think cares about me....#and the worst was when i made a joke about autistic habits and he went 'come on youre not autistic stop it'#as if i dont have a formal adhd diagnosis and enough traits of autism to self dx with it and its frequently comorbid w adhd#and my talking about it to my mom has led to her pushing my 75 year old dad to be assessed too#like it was a light bulb moment for her
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GUH
#tw vent#vent#where is that post about moms having an aura of despair when they are in a bad mood#she pushes having deep conversations with me that i have told her multiple times i am not ready to have with her and shell sit outside my#door and ask the same question over and over and over and over and ill do everything from tell her im busy to give a non asmwer to directly#say i dont want to talk rn and shell either k e e p on or fucking tell me i hate her or something#when she is in a mood she will do this like 2 to 5 times in a night I CANT TAKE IT ANYMOREE#there is no poing in engaging either ill give an answer on occasion if i feel fine to do so and shell tell me she wanted a dif answer#or better advice or something more meaningful or this or that I CANT DO IT ANYMORE#big sigh#Big sigh#my own apartment when#how to find roomates tutorial drop when#GUH
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whatbis it called when you're. so terribly sad and can't get up from bed because of it
#I KNOW its depression but like. this doesnt. feel like the Normal Depression i have#...like i. idk i cant. get up? i can but i just. so tieed#tired*#and ive felt this before but i cant like. put a name to it. maybe labelling it would make it better?#like i keep. saying im sick. but its not really sickness like i KNOW jts not i know the difference because again this Has Happened Before#but like. a) i dont want to feel like this again and b) this is more intense than what i usually feel? mahbe its because i#tried to suppress it for some time and now its fucking sucked punching me in the face#sigh.#deep sigh#vent#dni#delete later
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When you don't know what to say to someone..
What do u do?
#my lil sister just apologized to me and i dont know what to do or say#she keeps doing this saying really mean horrible stuff that cuts really deep and then thinks an apology is all it takes to make me forgive#cant do this anymore#:( sigh
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Do I need to start watching MLB again
#[deep sigh]#u cant do this to me. as a chat noir kinnie#you cant take edgy looking chat and show him making an unhinged expression dude thats like!#moth magnetism 101. now i have to know#wheres that post thats like 'you ever get made when a character so perfectly fits your tastes its predictable' or something#very loosely paraphrasing#status noir
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its like ive forgotten how to have Actual conversations like. i have so many thoughts but the way it comes out when i try to talk to people about them is. well if im being honest sometimes its like im a baby trying to sort shapes. i worry that people will stop talking to me because of this
#i have So Many more deep thoughts! I Just usually cant Express them#it makes me upset#some of it is becsuse im too shy to say things but#im also scared that if i Do finally have words to talk about stuff then i'll sound stupid to anyone listening#le sigh#txt
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