#me: *encounters a new piece of media* ah how lovely... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theregoesmylurkerstatus · 3 years ago

Text

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to!#molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

171 notes · View notes

aomineavenue · 4 years ago

Text

angel

Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Genre: fluff (OH WOW?)

Summary: meeting each other for the first time.

Word Count: 3k+

MIA’S GENERAL TAGLIST

@luvelyxp @paripedia @bokukiyoom @sunnyatsumu @centuress @doggonudez @newfriendjen @kodzukrn @anjvxmmv @keijikunn @maramalademadara @chaelysian @haikyuuwithadashofart @rogueofbullshit @bokuakadaily @kac-chowsballs @sakomi-kun @giyuwu-san @quirklessidiot

mia speaks:

just a little piece for my little baby bo to make up for the angst one i made of him lmao and bcoz BIRTHDAY BOY

if it isn’t too much, please leave a little COMMENT on this piece or REBLOG if you like it! Thanky!

“No, ah—ah, it’s okay!” you interrupt him through giggles, dropping your hands down to your sides as you let your laugher slip through your lips at how such a well-built man turned into an adorable spluttering mess. He surely was different from the typical men that you had encountered throughout your modeling career.

It was like a breath of fresh air.

And you wanted more.

You were all smiles today with the girls as you all excitedly entered backstage to get ready. The show was going to start in a few minutes and honestly, despite the waves of anxiety rocking you back and forth, you were still very much excited for today’s show. After all, it’s the big event that the majority of the world waited to see.

Runway shows have never been a problem for you, that’s for sure. You were confident with your walk, but unfortunately, when it came to the Victoria Secret Fashion Shows, you were completely, utterly, nervous. Not only were you walking down a runway with people watching, but other people would be able to view it at home once it’s edited and polished. People from around the world would be able to watch your performance and you knew the VS Fashion Show was the talk of the world when it was that time of the year.

Flashing a cheeky grin towards Candice, she gives you one of her own with a wink as you both sat down on your respective prep chairs that had your names on it and waited patiently for your assigned makeup artists to get started.

“You ready?” Candice asked from her seat next to you. All you could give her was a nod and an excited squeal, causing her to laugh. “Have you invited anyone today?"

"Oh, yeah. I’ve invited my best friends from high school since we’re around their area but that doesn’t matter since none of them responded to me so they’re probably too busy,” you said with a frown.

Candice reaches out towards you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Well then your best friends are obviously missing out."

You couldn’t blame your friends for not being able to attend your shows, no matter how vocal they are when it came to supporting you through scheduled video calls. They were all equally busy with their lives unlike during high school where they could find the time and support the other whether it may be your small local fashion shows or their volleyball matches.

You wouldn’t have been able to make your dreams fully come true without their help and support. You had always dreamed of becoming a model. You were good, everyone adored your signature catwalk more than anything. Though, for the first few years when you just began, it was a little tough and a lot of competition from other aspiring models. You started off in social media, showing off your looks and your best friends were the first ones to promote it, especially Shoyo, who even ran around the halls of Karasuno High School, waving his phone in front of the faces of students to show you off. And you even had Tsukki sharing your posts though, as usual, he acted as if he was being forced. Eventually, despite still being in high school, you were recruited by a small modeling agency and from there, everything changed. All thanks to your best friends, of course.

They never stopped supporting you, always finding the time to support your shows and even having them as your own team and because of their hard work and your own, slowly but surely, as you reached your junior year in senior high, you eventually got a name for yourself after a while, but projects didn’t come as easy or often.

Though, that changed as soon as you approached your senior year during an after party for one of your shows. As usual, you had your team (aka your group of best friends) present with you and all their praises towards your performance during the show gained a lot of attention from various popular brands that were present as well. If anything, you were completely embarrassed by their excessiveness as brand owners began approaching you, but you were more than grateful for that night, for them, because after that night, projects started pouring in.

It was all thanks to Shoyo’s contagious energy, bouncing from one guest to the other, asking them what they thought of you. Kageyema’s persistent pestering, telling brands that they would miss out if they didn’t give you a chance, and he didn’t give them a chance to decline, not that they could anyway with how determined he looked. Then there was Yamaguchi, dragging Tsukki along to talk to different brands regarding your work, the usual tag team when it came to helping you, it almost seemed like a bad cop and good cop scenario, the receiving end not being able to escape until the two were satisfied. Even Yachi had some connections due to her mother, and had introduced you to the people she knew.

And since then, everything took off and after becoming a well-known model in Japan, you eventually gained the attention of a huge brand that offered projects around the world, and who were you to decline such an opportunity? So as your modeling career skyrocketed, you found yourself exploring the world right after you graduated from Karasuno.

Despite being busy with your career and the time differences, you made sure to keep in contact with the people who helped you reach your dreams and they did the same, none of you drifted apart, always updating the other when needed. Invitations to your shows were always sent to the group, always expressing one day that they would be able to attend your shows. Especially since you had been recruited to become an Angel two years prior, but with everyone’s busy schedule and not having the ability to afford plane tickets to wherever the VS Fashion was being hosted, you and your friends found the time when the show would be aired and face timed each other to watch. And of course, the overwhelming love and support spilled from their mouths.

Still, a part of you wished they would be able to attend your show today since it’s being hosted in Tokyo. You wished they would be able to see your growth in person.

A loud squeal breaks you from your train of thought. You glanced over to one of the new girls that have been casted to run this year’s walk. "Wonder what’s that about…” you heard Candice beside you. You simply shrugged.

“There are some really hot guys!” she squealed excitedly, clapping along. “I was taking a peek outside and saw them! They’re seated front row! Those seats are usually for our personal guests, someone tell me right now whose guests are those and please introduce me at the after party!"

You and Candice turned to look at each other and burst into a fit of giggles.

It wasn’t uncommon for the new girls to look around the guests to drool over celebrities that were invited, like a predator looking for its prey. You weren’t going to deny, but you were one of those girls too during your first year as an Angel, and had shamelessly flirted with one of your favorite celebrities during the after party. Thinking about it now, maybe you’ll have some fun later and find your own person to flirt with later but for now, you’re just silently praying that you don’t trip on the runway.

"Okay, can I just say that I’m really nervous right now?” you squeaked, a shaky breath escaping your lips. Your makeup artist patting the liquid shiny highlighter along your cheekbones with her fingers as Candice laughs beside you.

She counters, flashing you a reassuring smile through the reflection of the vanity mirror in front of you, “You’ll be fine. Just relax."

"Thank you, Shelly.” you said to your makeup artist before she gives you a nod and walks off. You let out a whine and throw your head back, your eyelids fluttering shut. “Easy for you to say, I’m opening the show this year.”

Candice extends her arm out to reach for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, hoping to calm your nerves. “You’ll do good.” You could always count on Candice to soothe you. That’s what best friends were for.

“Y/N! Hurry up over here, you need to get changed!"

You snapped back to reality and immediately jumped off of your seat and headed over to wardrobe. The last thing you heard from Candice was a yell of ‘good luck!’ before everyone begins fussing over your outfit.

Music now blaring, excitement all over the atmosphere as the crew prepares the cue to signal you in. You were opening the show this year. The first set, which was called 'Snow Angels’ and you had been given one of the privileges of having huge fluffy white angel wings. It was heavy but nothing you couldn’t manage due to your rigorous training to maintain your model physique. They were huge and even had a trail that led down to your feet, you were able to grasp on it, to make it flow and follow you along every step. You had decided to hold onto them as you walked, an idea popping into your head. Along with the wings, you were dressed in white lace lingerie that fit perfectly and gave some accent to your well toned body. The lingerie had been adorned beautifully with gems that gave them a boost, making it sparkle when lights shine towards your direction. Plus, the silver heels were to die for. You really did look like an angel.

Bobbing your head to the music, dancing along to calm your nerves. You keep your gaze locked up ahead, a small smile playing on your lips. This is what you enjoyed the most, despite the nervous feeling you felt, you loved the adrenaline that coursed through your body. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever you walked, you enjoyed the catwalks the most in your line of work.

Hearing your entrance nearing since there was a rehearsal beforehand, you already knew when to start walking despite being given the signal from the crew members that stood around you. Giving them your signature cheeky grin, they give you their thumbs up of good luck with a smile plastered on their faces.

Following the beat of the music blaring through the place, your feet carried you through it, going exactly at the pace of the beat. As you reached the middle of the stage, you started with your signature catwalk entrance that your fans adored, you had your back facing the crowd for a second before you heard your cue to spin around from the music. You flashed the crowd with a smile and this only caused them to erupt into cheers. You began your walk, your feet taking you along in sync with the beat, your hips swaying to the rhythm. Letting your wings go for a second, you encouraged the crowd to go louder with your hands as you walked along the path, the smile still on your face.

In an instant, your eyes catch a glimpse of a familiar mop of bright orange hair and your eyes widen ever so slightly, not expecting to see your group of friends standing up clapping happily at the sight of you with the biggest smiles on their faces. Time seemed to slow down but you were able to see them clearly.

Yachi waved happily towards you with tears in her eyes, Yamaguchi giving you a thumbs up and a wide smile while Tsukki just looked at you with that irritating smirk but he looked proud, nonetheless. Kageyama waving a little flag with your face printed, his usual sheepish smile that you were accustomed to nowhere to be found, replaced with a wide smile that could compete with Shoyo’s. Speaking of the ball of sunshine, there was Shoyo, gaining the attention of the camera crew, jumping around excitedly with one hand in the air and his phone in the other, most likely capturing your walk, all the while, shouting your name.

However, that wasn’t what just had caught your eye but the familiar looking person next to Shoyo who was equally as energetic as he was and you couldn’t help but let the warmth rush to your cheeks at the way he was looking at you in awe. A sudden surge of happiness bubbles in your chest at the sight of the duo excitedly chanting your name over the loud music, you were sure that the editing team would use the footage for when the show airs all over the world.

Despite not fully recognizing who the person next to Shoyo was, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies burst in your stomach as you caught his eye. You were used to this kind of energy being best friends with Shoyo but something about his whole aura wanted to make your heart burst from the excitement. Summoning the courage, you send a flying kiss and a wave towards his direction. A grin makes its way to your lips at his unexpected reaction. It was like the one in cliche romantic movies where the guy captures the flying kiss with his hand and presses it to his heart before sending one back. You were hooked.

As you reach the end, you give the crowd, especially looking at the camera, your signature pose before gripping onto the wings once more, swaying yourself to create a flow as your eyes focus on the camera capturing your movements as if to seduce your viewers. Breaking out into a breathtaking grin, you spun around to walk back. As your feet carried you, you couldn’t help but glance back at where your friends were seated, your grin never wavering at the sight of Shoyo waving like a maniac, pointing towards your direction as he began telling the people surrounding him that he was your best friend.

Your eyes caught golden ones once more and your heart skips a beat at the evident adoration mixed in his orbs. You felt breathless and giddy, slightly flustered at the thought of this mysterious man that was seated next to your best friend. You mentally note to yourself to ask Shoyo about him later and silently hope you would see him at the after party before disappearing to the backstage to prepare for your next set.

You had 3 sets for the year, the first one with the 'Snow Angels’ and then a set during the middle of the show and then the last set for the evening. The second set involved you wearing a sort of witch costume. You wore deep purple lingerie with a tiny hat that was pinned comfortably at the side of your head. The purple heels weren’t just a finishing touch, but the witch broom too. And the final set you wore, black lingerie. It was more of a corset but the texture was wonderful, lace, with some parts see through. You felt confident, so beautiful. A skirt was paired up with it, a small trail following you at the back.

And every single time you walked down that runway, you would glance over at your best friends and him, winking playfully or sending kisses, Shoyo thinking it was directed at him but little did he know that it was for the energetic man with spiky white-grey hair with black streaks that resembled a horned owl that was on the receiving end of your playful gestures. And the man himself knew it too, playfully sending it back that made your heart beat rapidly in its confinement. Your friends, well aside for Shoyo, probably noticed that everything was directed to him, but you couldn’t find yourself to care as your confidence was at full percentage with how sexy you were feeling wearing lingerie.

As the show ended and you stood there happily in a line with the rest of the girls, your bubbly self began to show as you began dancing along to the beat of the music. It was another successful year.

Now, it was time for the after party.

You barely had the time to search for your friends as you were always pulled by either your co-angels or people you had wanted to work with. It was so difficult to reach them as they were situated from across the room, having their own little party and not really wanting to leave each other’s side, but you really wanted to join them at the realization that the man that was seated next to Shoyo earlier at the show, who you had been practically flirting throughout your walk, was a part of their group and it wasn’t just a coincidence of them seating next to each other. Then again, something in the back of your head was nagging you that you knew him, something about his aura completely familiar.

After what seemed like forever, you were finally able to slip away from the people who wanted your attention, having the chance to see your friends after so long. However, before you could approach them you were pulled back by your forearm and as you were about to reprimand the intruder, your plan of actions were put to a halt as your eyes met his golden orbs.

“Hey, hey, hey?” he starts sheepishly, a small smile playing on his lips as he releases his grip.

A giggle slips past your lips as your shoulders relax. “Hey, hey, hey,” you repeat his words teasingly with a playful grin, “And what can I help you with?”

“This may seem really weird since we don’t know each other but can I ask you a question?” he asks, shifting his tone to a more serious one but with one look into his eyes, you can see them twinkling with playfulness and you couldn’t help but nod your head to his request. “Did it hurt?”

Brows knitting together in confusion, you tilt your head to the side at his question. “Did what hurt?”

In a second, his features shift from the serious one that he had to one where his lips twitched to a grin, “When you fell from heaven.”

You suppress the heat that wanted to rush up to your cheeks from his cheesy pick up line, completely flustered. You were used to guys flirting with you but how was he able to surprise you and made you want to squeal like a high school girl? However, despite being flustered by his flirting, you weren’t one to back down so easily. Blinking a couple of times, trying your best to not look fazed by his words. “Are you implying that I’m Satan?” you ask, folding your arms across your chest as you arch a brow at him.

He doesn’t expect your answer and turns into a spluttering mess before you. “No, I—I just,” he stutters, brows furrowing in frustration thinking he had failed to woo you with his pick up line, he was going to reprimand Atsumu who had told him it would work. “You—you’re an angel, ah you know, a Victoria’s Secret Angel, and I—”

You interrupt him through giggles, dropping your hands down to your sides as you let your laugher slip through your lips at how such a well-built man turned into an adorable spluttering mess. He surely was different from the typical men that you had encountered throughout your modeling career.

It was like a breath of fresh air.

And you wanted more.

Just as he wanted more of you when he stops his explaining at the sight of you bursting into a fit of giggles and he couldn’t even find himself to be embarrassed anymore at the sight of in your bubble of happiness, the way your face were scrunched up from laughing or how the sound of your laughter was like music to his ears, a smile making its way to his lips as he watches you in amusement. Ah yes, you truly were an angel to him.

“No, ah—ah, it’s okay!” you gasp out through your giggles, shaking your head slightly as you try to regain your composure by holding onto your sides, “I didn’t mean to ruin your attempt at flirting.”

He tilts his head to the side, the smile on his lips widening. “Oya? Why’s that?”

“Well...” you trail off, a smile matching his as you relax from your outburst, “I wouldn’t oppose to such, if it’s from you, that is.”

He’d have to thank Shoyo for bringing him along. Your mere smile from afar was already breathtaking but now that he was close, he wanted to see it every single day of his life. Extending his arm, he holds his hand out for you to shake, “The name’s Bokuto Koutarou.”

Taking his hand in yours, your eyes widen slightly as his name slips out of his mouth, “The Bokuto? The one that Shoyo’s been gushing about during freshmen year? I knew you looked familiar!”

“The one and only,” he chuckles as he shakes your hand, listening intently as you introduce yourself, not wanting to let go of your hand just yet. He lets your name roll off his tongue experimentally and you mentally note to yourself that you loved the way that it did. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” A Happy Birthday indeed.

#haikyuucreations #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto koutarou imagine #bokuto x reader #bokuto imagines #bokuto fluff #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #hq #hq x reader #hq imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu bokuto

147 notes · View notes

padme-amitabha · 4 years ago

Text

Is Anakin a Mary Sue?

youtube

Now it may shock you to learn this but it turns out that Disney Star Wars is kind of a contentious topic. The fandom's been more or less divided between those who like the sequel trilogy and those who like good movies but both groups spend a great deal of time slinging [ __ ] at each other over every form of social media known to man and truly no battleground is more fiercely contested than the protagonist of each trilogy. People who hate the Disney trilogy tend to criticize Rey for being an overpowered, flawless, perfect, invincible and unrelatable character for whom everything just kind of happens with no real struggle or difficulty a Mary Sue if you will.

Meanwhile supporters of the sequel trilogy are quick to leap to her defense usually with one of two potential counter arguments: 1. You just hate strong women 2. So what if she's op as [ __ ] Anakin Skywalker from the prequels was a Mary Sue too and you don't criticize him. You just hate strong women. This argument was brought into sharp focus for me the other day when I was perusing twitter in search of calm, logical, rational discussion about the merits of the sequel trilogy and I chanced upon this little gem of a comment. Ah yes that famously perfect protagonist who wins everything, always makes the right decisions, has a selfless and compassionate personality, and is universally loved and respected by everyone. Well random twitter [ __ ] as it turns out, I am ready to have that conversation right now. So saddle up y'all because the drinker's here to round up this [ __ ] and put an end to this argument once and for all. Let us journey deep into the world of the Star Wars prequels and see if we can figure out whether Anakin Skywalker really is a Mary Sue.

Now in order to do this, we have to nail down what exactly a Mary Sue is. Well according to the dictionary definition it's a term used to describe a fictional character, usually female, who is seen as too perfect and almost boring for lack of flaws originally written as an idealized version of an author in fanfiction. Now the finer points of what makes a Mary Sue can vary depending on who you talk to but after consulting multiple sources and drawing upon my own experiences as a writer, there's a few common traits that I think most people would generally agree on:

1. Mary Sues usually possess skills and abilities that are not consistent with their situation and personal history. They can do stuff they shouldn't realistically be able to and they can do it better than anyone else.

2. They usually possess flawless idealized personalities that no real person could measure up to they never give in to negative emotions like anger, greed, jealousy, selfishness or arrogance.

3. They're universally loved respected and embraced by every good character they encounter even when there's no logical reason for this to happen.

4. They never get seriously challenged, fail at anything or get beaten by anyone, success and victory come easily to them.

5. They always make good decisions and strive to do what's right in any situation so why is this actually a problem.

Well I think the answer should be obvious, Mary Sues are boring as [ __ ]. If a character has got no flaws or weaknesses and never really gets challenged or tested by anything then what is there to get invested in?

It's the flaws and failings of a character that make them interesting in the first place and their struggle to rise above and overcome these flaws that make them so compelling. If these things are missing from a character, then there's nothing for the audience to latch onto or care about. There's nothing to like or root for. That's the essence of a Mary Sue and that's what we're going to be looking at here. So, with that in mind let's see how Anakin stacks up against this list shall we?

Point number one: Being overpowered and having abilities that he shouldn't. Now this more than anything else is what people tend to latch onto when they criticize Anakin and who can blame them really? On the surface it seems pretty ridiculous to see a nine-year-old boy doing stuff like this autopilot but let's put it into a wider context, shall we? When we first meet Anakin in The Phantom Menace, he's a slave living with his mother on Tatooine. He's spent most of his life salvaging junk and using it to make new stuff that can marginally improve their quality of life. As a result, he's become pretty good with technology. Well that makes sense, I guess. He's even applied these technical skills to pod racing where he's been fairly successful despite suffering at least one major crash that we know about. Again, this kind of makes sense when you consider he's strong with the force which would likely give him heightened perception reactions and understanding of the world around him, you know qualities that are important to high performance racing drivers. Anyway, his racing abilities allow the main characters to win an engine part that they need to repair their ship as well as enough money to buy his freedom. Sensing his importance Qui-Gon Jinn takes him under his wing and begins to teach him about the force. Remember when older mentor characters were allowed to teach the protagonist things? I miss that. He also takes part in a space battle that destroys an enemy mothership at the climax of the movie. Now as goofy as this scene is in its execution, it's not actually inconsistent with Anakin’s abilities and experiences. If you've worked around technology vehicles and ships your entire life and you can pilot a racing pod to a high standard then it stands to reason that you could probably operate other types of spacecraft as well, particularly if you have a droid on board to manage most of the ship's systems for you. However, for the sake of argument let's concede the Anakin in The Phantom Menace is indeed more skilled competent and capable than your average person.

So, what kind of effect would this have on a young man from an impoverished background suddenly thrust into a much larger world of power, politics and opportunity? Well that brings me neatly along to point number two: Mary Sues are supposed to have flawless personalities never giving in to anger, jealousy, resentment, vengeance or ambition. All throughout the second and third movies in the prequel trilogy, Anakin displays an increasingly severe set of personality flaws that begin to undermine his position in the world and his relationship with other characters. He's impetuous and hot-headed, frequently rushing into dangerous situations without waiting for backup or considering the risk to himself particularly when someone he cares about is in danger. Keep that one in mind because it'll be important later. He's ambitious but also impatient, feeling like he's been unfairly held back by other characters, particularly Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this resentment causes a growing rift between the two men that eventually spills out into open conflicts. Rather than taking the longer and harder path to wisdom and understanding, Anakin wants everything right away. He also cares deeply about people close to him and this attachment often manifests in explosive bites of anger and jealousy when he feels that they're being threatened like when his mother gets kidnapped and killed by Tusken Raiders, causing Anakin to go on a violent rampage that escalates into wholesale slaughter. Afterwards even he's shocked by what he did or when he believes that Padme has turned against him by Obi-Wan Kenobi, causing him to lash out violently against both of them. By this point he's been totally consumed by uncontrolled jealousy anger resentment and betrayal. All of the emotions that lead to the dark side of the force. The point here is clear: if you [ __ ] with someone he cares about then mercy and compassion go right out the window.

All of his skills, abilities and potential which seemed so overpowered and unnecessary in the first movie in fact serve a very important purpose for his character development. They've generated a sense of superiority, arrogance and overconfidence, and a reluctance to listen to criticism or advice no matter how well intentioned they might be. These are dangerous flaws in his personality all by themselves but combined with his overwhelming emotional attachment to people he cares about it creates a potent cocktail of reckless ambition and deep-seated insecurity that makes him uniquely vulnerable to manipulation something which will later prove disastrous because while Mary Sues are universally loved respected and trusted by everyone, Anakin certainly isn't in the first movie. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu and Yoda are all against training Anakin to become a Jedi despite his obvious potential because they know he's already too old to be inducted. This lack of early discipline in his life would leave a dangerous gap in his personality, making him unpredictable and less able to control his emotions, two factors which are extremely dangerous for Jedi. These misgivings would carry over to the next two movies where Anakin is elevated to the Jedi high council on Palpatine’s orders but the council itself refuses to grant him the rank of master because they feel he hasn't earned it yet. Now a different man would see this as an opportunity to prove himself by working hard and earning their trust eventually winning them over and gaining the recognition he deserves but Anakin takes this as a personal insult from the council which drives a deeper wedge between him and a Jedi order which he believes will never truly respect or accept him. Wow it's almost like Palpatine knew this was going to happen and engineered the whole thing to pull Anakin closer to him portraying himself as the only one who can help Anakin realize his full potential. It's a surprisingly smart piece of characterization that's completely consistent with everything we know about both men. The higher Anakin rises the more it stokes the fire of his ambition and superiority and the more he comes to see anyone who doubts or cautions him as a threat to his success. This arrogance and overconfidence also causes him to test himself against powerful opponents before he's actually ready for them and unlike Mary sues who easily win every battle they have to fight, Anakin’s recklessness causes an escalating series of losses like here where he tries to take on count Dooku all by himself and it ends with Anakin getting his [ __ ] arm sliced off. But his desire for revenge against the man who defeated him ultimately causes a more powerful and better prepared Anakin to execute him in the following movie, again proving his willingness to give into vengeance and anger even against helpless opponents or here in his climactic confrontation with Obi-Wan where his enemy has the advantage but Anakin presses the attack anyway and well I think we know how that turns out. Just as a side note I love how this carries over to Return of the Jedi. See Luke’s taking the high ground here just like Obi-Wan did.

What we have here is a clear pattern of behavior from a man whose ambitions consistently outstrip his abilities. Rather than demonstrating patience and restraint and taking the slower and harder path to lasting wisdom and fulfillment, Anakin’s inherent character flaws cause him to push himself beyond breaking point with increasingly disastrous consequences which brings me neatly along to the final points: whereas Mary Sues consistently make good righteous decisions and always strive to do the correct thing, Anakin on the other hand demonstrates a consistent pattern of mistakes and misjudgments that ultimately cost him everything. As I've already shown you the flaws in his personality are exacerbated by his powers and abilities making him easy prey for a ruthlessly ambitious man that knows exactly how to flatter his ambitions and prey on his weaknesses this eventually causes him to commit terrible crimes like murdering an entire tribe including unarmed civilians murdering children, executing a helpless opponent, helping to kill a jedi master, trying to murder his own wife, trying to kill his mentor and best friend, joining forces with an evil dictator to overthrow the republic, delivering this scene…

What I’m trying to say with all this is that Anakin Skywalker is the very furthest thing from a Mary Sue that you can get. Trying to label him as a Mary Sue for no other reason than because he's good at lots of stuff demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of what a Mary Sue is and also of who Anakin is. The reality is that he's a powerful but deeply flawed man whose unique combination of circumstances and abilities have created a dangerous personality that's vulnerable to manipulation and corruption his greatest strengths ultimately proved to be his most terrible weaknesses with consequences that echo across the entire galaxy. Now I have my own thoughts on the prequel trilogy as a whole and I’d be lying if I said they were great movies but fundamentally I think the story they tell is actually pretty [ __ ] good and I’m just gonna say it: Anakin’s rise to power and fall to the dark side is a damn good piece of character work that Disney would have done well to pay more attention to. Anyway, that's all I’ve got for today. Go away now.

I would argue the prequels are great movies but he makes some very good points. I have seen so many Disney fans claim Anakin is a Mary Sue, when he’s anything but a Mary Sue.

55 notes · View notes

carols-review-box · 4 years ago

Photo

My Thoughts on Ginny & Georgia: Season 1

These are my thoughts.

Right off the bat, I want to address that this is, by no means, a comprehensive review. I’m not even sure if it can be called a review. These are just my thoughts on the show, and it may or may not cover everything (in fact, it most certainly won’t cover everything), and I’ll try my best to write it out in an organized manner, but I can’t make promises. (Though, in all fairness, this is just a blog for my own entertainment, and I don’t expect anyone to actually read it.)

Now, moving on. Ginny & Georgia, season 1. Where do I begin?

First Impressions

I first encountered Ginny & Georgia on Netflix when the website decided to auto play its trailer while I was scrolling through it. I watched--almost begrudgingly-- a short, 1 minute clip of Ginny complaining to her teacher about how all the books on the curriculum were written by white men. While I understand where Ginny was coming from, and while I understand that a lot of high school literature is written by authors who sometimes are not representative of their audience, Ginny’s introduction just came off as obnoxious and annoying. I thought, “Imagine moving to a new school, and that’s the first thing you say to the teacher.” I rolled my eyes, wrote the show off as another try-hard feminist woke piece (or something like that), and didn’t think I’d watch it.

Well, at some point, I obviously decided to give the show a try. And by the middle of the first episode, I was actually really surprised when Ginny didn’t turn out to be insufferable in the beginning. I say in the beginning-- because her character really slides downhill past a certain point.

Plot

Throughout the entire show, I was probably a thousand times more interested in Georgia’s plot than Ginny’s.

It makes sense-- Ginny’s plot is... well, pretty much a generic teen soap opera that I’ve seen hundreds of times before. There are some unique themes to her story that I’ve rarely seen portrayed in other shows, like her experience as a biracial person, but other than that, it seems to be your run-of-the-mill drama.

On the other hand, Georgia’s plot is fresher. I haven’t personally seen any black-widow narratives (if Georgia could be called that), so I was intrigued and curious by how her story would play out. Not to mention, I liked Georgia’s love interests far better than Ginny’s, but maybe that’s just my personal taste.

In comparing these two plots, I do feel like the writers did Ginny wrong. Georgia is given an interesting storyline with a relevant backstory and plot points that actually make sense, whereas Ginny’s story is mediocre, we rarely get to see her side of the past, and half the stuff that goes down in her life is either unrealistic and overdramatized or it just makes no damn sense.

Characters

I could probably talk a great deal about the characters in this show. I have the most to say about Ginny (75% of it is criticism, honestly), so I’ll dedicate an entire section to her later. For now, I’ll start with these characters:

Georgia: Georgia, oh Georgia. To put it simply, Georgia is a psychopath hidden behind a large smile and a buzzing Southern accent. For the first 5 episodes, I was so fooled by her act (and her beauty) that I forgot she’s a literal murderer and most likely not a good human being. But I guess that’s, in part, what makes her very interesting to watch.

Hunter: I literally felt nothing but a mixture of boredom and pity whenever Hunter was on screen. For the first 8 episodes, he is just an extraordinarily boring character-- and his boringness is used as a justification by Ginny to cheat on him (that’s where the pity part comes in). I enjoyed how how he got more character in the ending episodes, and I could understand his struggles when he fought with Ginny (in that scene). But if he wasn’t dating Ginny, then he would’ve been a completely forgettable character.

Marcus: Marcus ALWAYS looks like he’s high. I don’t think there’s a single scene in the show where he doesn’t look like he just smoked something. He also has little personality, other than being the “bad boy.” I guess his hotness makes up for it, or something?

Maxine: While I enjoy Max overall, I think she can be really annoying, talkative and insensitive at times. Emphasis on the last part, because she does this irritating thing where she says something racist, and then asks if she just said something racist.

Abby: Out of the friend group, I feel like Abby is the most dramatic without being overdramatic. She experiences things that a regular teenager would. However, she can be a bad friend at times, and I don’t like how the characters gives her a pass on some questionable choices she makes.

Paul: I like Paul. It is a little bit hypocritical of me to say Paul is a good character when he basically has the same exact personality as Hunter, but I’m going to say it: He’s a good character.

Zion: Zion is smooth, and I enjoy his little wisdom bits with Ginny. But he was introduced too late into the show, and I can’t see him being a good fit for Georgia.

Joe: I love Joe. Just like some of the other characters, he is kind of plain. Kind of vanilla, daresay boring, but for some reason, I love him. Maybe it’s because of his adorable connection with Georgia. Maybe it’s because he offers some much-needed comedic relief in this overdramatized show. Maybe it’s because he has attractive qualities, like running a “successful” business, or maybe he’s just my type. For many, many episodes, I wanted Georgia to get together with Joe the most.

Austin: I forgot Austin existed for half the time. Like, I know the kid stabbed someone, but in the grand scheme of things, he’s just so forgettable.

Character: Ginny

Ginny. Ah, where do I even begin with Ginny?

First, I’m just going to say this: I know the writers intended to depict a biracial person’s experience in America through Ginny. I’m not biracial myself, and I don’t fully understand the issues that biracial people go through, so I’m not going to comment too much on how the authors managed to fuck up. I say “how” and not “if,” because a lot of biracial people have said that Ginny & Georgia is kind of a bad example of their life, and also because even I can see the problems with the show from a mile away.

Getting that out of the way, I’ll start with Ginny’s overall character.

One would think that a character who is depicted as-- for a lack of better words-- as “woke,”... as in, a character who is supposed to have better moral values than others (the definition comes from the word’s general connotative interpretation from leftist media), would be a good human being. But time and time again, we see that Ginny is everything but.

These are my biggest issues with Ginny’s character:

1) She acts like she’s better than everyone else, but also like she’s super oppressed. I know these two personality traits aren’t mutually exclusive, but they’re not a good combination either.

2) She thinks she’s the only person in the entire town who has real issues. Other characters confront her about this, and she eventually mellows down, but it’s astounding to me the amount of people she had to offend before she got the point.

3) She can be really ungrateful and rude towards her mom. I know Georgia is not a perfect mother-- not even close-- and she can be genuinely crazy at times, but Ginny is very rarely appreciative of her mom’s efforts.

4) Despite Ginny’s intelligence, she is not smart. She commits a bunch of dumb mistakes. Now, some of these can be attributed to her just being a teenager-- like having unprotected sex, sending nudes, being peer pressured into stealing, etc. Whereas other choices-- most notably cheating on her boyfriend-- are just a product of her shitty personality.

5) There is a really bad implication concerning Ginny’s views on race. I can probably talk a lot about race in this show, but true to my word, I’ll keep this short and talk about the one thing that really bothered me: Ginny ignores the black kids. There’s a line in the show where Ginny says she’s too white for the black folks and too black for the white folks... and she uses this to justify never having any friends or not fitting in. But when she gets to Wellsbury, she’s accepted by everyone, including black people, yet she chooses to ignore them. She only sits with them near the end of the show when her friend group kicks her out. And she looks miserable.

Ginny likes to complain a lot about her white side, but all things considered, I think she has an issue with her black side instead. I don’t know if this is representative of the biracial experience, but I imagine this can’t be a good thing to portray on screen.

I know it’s crazy of me to say this right after I just ripped Ginny apart. However, despite everything, I actually like Ginny as a character. Do I like her as much as I like Georgia or Joe? No, but she swings more good than bad. What can I say? She’s entertaining (in the same way that Cheryl from Riverdale is entertaining). She’s at least somewhat relatable, and I wouldn’t have watched the entire season if I truly found her to be unbearable.

That being said, Ginny does have a lot of potential to grow, and I sincerely hope the writers do her better in the next season.

Themes

*At some point in the future, I may add more to this section.

Family: Despite a significant portion of this show being terribly unrealistic, I appreciate the show’s overall depiction of family and separation. For one, the show represents families who aren’t stereotypically nuclear. Our main protagonists are a single mother-daughter combo. The Bakers next door have a deaf father and a mother who doesn’t fit into a perfect mold. There’s a biracial family (Hunter) who connects far more with their American side than their Taiwanese-- so much that Hunter and his sister don’t even speak a lick of Mandarin. The small details and nuances which are added into the show makes them far more representative of the general American population.

Conversations: This show gives conversations that are far overdue in media. While Hunter and Ginny’s fight scene is 98% pure cringe, the remaining 2% of it is an important reminder on being biracial (or a person of color) in America. Many of us struggle with our racial identity, and it’s unproductive to compare who has it worse.

Overall + Rating

To me, the first season of Ginny & Georgia is a 6.5/10. (Five being the average; so this would be a little better than average). While it showed a lot of potential at the beginning, the show eventually devolved to nothing more than a standard melodrama-- even on Georgia’s part. It tried hard to be another Gilmore Girls but ended up falling quite short. I am looking forward to its second season though; and hopefully, it’s much better than the first.

#shows #netflix #7 #ginny and georgia #ginny & georgia #ginny&georgia

11 notes · View notes

caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 5 years ago

Text

Map of the Soul, Chapter Two

For the @btswritingcafe‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Taehyung x reader

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong. Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for? Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut (references to previous)

Word Count: 8k+

Warnings: cursing & vulgar language, accidental flashing, mentions of kinks and other sexual content, sexual innuendos, mentions of previous sexual encounters, nerdy soulmate things, bisexuality

Chapter Two: Soulmates are a Forever Kind of Thing

March 18th, 11:37am

The sound of an incessant car alarm outside tore you away from the breezy dreamscape you were enjoying with a scantily clad Jungkook. You pried your eyes open and groaned at the never-ending beeps and boops below your window.

SHUT UP ALREADY, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MACHINE!

You grumbled angrily as you slid out of bed and made your way to the bathroom. The soreness between your legs made you smile, and you flirted with the idea of texting Jungkook.

Hmmm, too soon. Better give it a day or two.

It was a lazy Sunday for you, so you spent the next hour lounging and snacking while Oberyn curled up next to you on the couch. You were starting to submit to an afternoon of mindless YouTube streaming when a notification dinged on your phone.

Jungkook?!

You scrambled across the couch to take your phone off of the charger. The notification wasn’t from your messaging app though, it was from your Instagram. Your old friend Taehyung sent you a message and you smiled when you saw his profile picture. Your heart warmed as you thought about the first time you met Kim Taehyung.

↸ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

Several Decades Earlier

You met Kim Taehyung in kindergarten when you fell off the monkey bars and he unknowingly broke your fall. You couldn’t figure out how to soothe the sobbing mess he was, so you kissed him on the cheek like your mother would whenever you got hurt.

“Better?” you hoped. “Did I make the hurt go away?”

He sniffled slightly and looked up at your face with tears streaming down his face. He pouted and shook his head emphatically, then pointed to the top of his head. You simply nodded and planted a soft kiss to the top of his chocolate locks.

“How about now?” you tried. “All gone?”

He pouted again and then pointed to his forehead. You pulled his head closer and placed another kiss on his forehead. His tears stopped, but he was still hiccuping as a result of his earlier crying fit.

“What’s wrong?” You asked gently, still holding his head. “Are you still hurt?”

His pout deepened and he nodded slightly. He tried to look you in the eye, but he kept hiccuping and closing his eyes in protest.

“Where?” you pleaded. “I’ll make it better.”

He lifted his shining puppy dog eyes to meet your concerned face. Slowly, he lifted his finger and placed it on his own pouty lips. You gasped slightly and widened your eyes.

“There?” you asked. “I hit you there?”

I guess that makes sense. I probably kicked him when I fell.

New tears formed in his big brown eyes and your heart sank at the sight. You sighed and gathered up your strength. With a huff, you leaned forward quickly and placed the softest little peck on his lips and then pulled away. However, before you could escape, the boy reached up and grabbed your wrist. You panicked for a moment, but then realized he just needed help standing up.

You helped him stand and as soon as you dusted the dirt from the fall, he enveloped you in a crushing bear hug.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I feel much better now.”

He pulled away and wiped at his eyes. You offered him a small smile and grinned at the adorable sight. A sudden realization hit you and you gasped loudly, which captured his attention.

“Hey,” you cried. “Your hiccups are gone!”

The boy froze and looked around, as though hiccups were tangible things he could track with his vision. A wide grin blossomed across his face and you noted the cute boxy shape. As troubled as this first encounter was, you still felt drawn to the silly boy with the rosy cheeks and fluffy hair.

“What’s your name?” you asked sweetly. “Want to be friends?”

“My name is Taehyung,” he replied while grabbing your hand. “I would love to be your friend!”

ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ⇲

A soft smile spread across your face at the memory. A lifelong friendship started from that first tumble, and you never regretted giving your first kiss away to the cute boy you’d crushed when you fell from those monkey bars.

Sigh.

You opened up your Instagram app and searched for the message Taehyung sent. Your eyes widened and you laughed maniacally when you saw the picture he sent.

You were laughing so hard, you nearly fell off the couch. Oberyn scuffled away angrily, clearly annoyed that your outburst of laughter disturbed his nap time.

When the giggle fit finally died down to a manageable sense of amusement, you looked at the message again. Taehyung always did have a way of saying just the right thing at just the right time. Your amusement quickly shifted into longing and nostalgia, and you could almost feel your soul aching for its mate.

I miss him so much.

Over seven years had passed since you last saw Taehyung in person. The summer before you were going to start high school, his parents had to move to another state. You were both happy that his dad was finally getting the promotion he worked so hard for, but it was devastating to think that you would be going through high school without your best friend and soulmate.

Throughout high school, you kept in touch (thank the gods for the internet and smartphones), but you both went to different colleges and were only able to meet up during breaks. Once you both graduated, you took jobs in different states and your communication dwindled to random messages and the occasional phone call or video chat.

It wasn’t enough. You needed him as a permanent physical fixture in your life, but there wasn’t much either of you could do about it. You both loved your jobs and you were comfortable in your current living situations. However, if an opportunity to change that ever revealed itself, you were positive that you would both jump at it like feral cats.

You briefly considered messaging him on Instagram, but your lingering nostalgia convinced you to call him instead. It was so long since you’d heard his resonant baritone voice purring into your ear. Honestly, that voice alone could wreck someone to pieces. Luckily, you knew the man connected to the voice so it didn’t affect you nearly as much.

You quickly scrolled through your contacts and hit the “Call” button. After three rings, the man himself answered with a long sigh.

“You couldn’t give me a few minutes to dry myself off before calling?” he whined cutely. “I had to rush through my shower just to answer the phone.”

“No one told you to do that, Tae,” you countered. “You could always let it go to voicemail and then just call me back.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed playfully. “You know better than anyone that I am the worst when it comes to returning phone calls. You’re lucky I still remember to send you messages on social media.”

“Fair point, sir,” you giggled. “The only reason I haven’t kicked your forgetful ass to the curb is because you’re my best friend and I love your stupid ass.”

“Ummm, I think you mean soulmate,” Taehyung argued. “Remember, we decided that the term “best friend” wasn’t strong enough to accurately describe our relationship.”

“Ah, yes,” you concurred. “How could I possibly forget the Great Soulmate Debate of 5th grade? You almost got us into detention with that speech of yours, Tae.”

“It’s your fault,” he shot back. “If you had just accepted the term soulmate when I first suggested it, everything would have been fine. But, noooooooo, someone just had to argue with me and keep us in the hallway until we were officially skipping class.”

“Don’t complain, Tae-Bear, you love it when I argue with you,” you reminded him. “It’s part of the dynamic of our relationship. If we just gave in to each other all the time, it wouldn’t be any fun.”

“Exactly,” he chuckled. “You’re the ice to my fire, the sweet to my sour, the jelly to my peanut butter.”

“Why do you get to be the peanut butter?” you challenged. “Why do I have to be the jelly in this metaphor?”

“Because I’m smooth and you’re cool, remember?” Taehyung responded. “Don’t tell me your memory is slipping, babe.”

“No,” you sighed sadly. “I think it’s just been too long since we’ve actually seen each other in person. I miss you, Tae-Bear.”

The video call feature started ringing in your ear and you almost squealed in excitement. You swiped a finger across the screen and adjusted the phone on the coffee table. A shirtless Taehyung with wet hair greeted you with the boxiest of smiles, and you couldn’t help waving and squealing like a ridiculous fangirl.

“My Tae-Tae,” you cooed. “Baby, I miss you so much!”

He chuckled and pulled a scarf headband on to push his dark curling locks away from his eyes. You smiled at his golden skin glistening in his after shower glow, and shook your head at how many women despise you for being so close to this delicious morsel. It was a blessing and a curse, but you carried that burden with pride because you just loved him so much.

“Ok, now, let’s do the math, babe,” Taehyung ordered while pulling on a flowy button down with a wild print. “I know you hate math, but try to work with me, ok? When was the last time we were actually together in person?”

“Well, this is my eighth year teaching at the university,” you recalled. “I think it was that first Christmas after I started working here. We went home and had sleepovers every night until after New Year’s. You had just gotten your job at the marketing firm, and we were upset that we wouldn’t be able to see each other as much.”

“Shit,” he gaped at you. “Has it really been that long? That doesn’t seem right.”

“A little over seven years,” you calculated grimly. “We’ve tried to meet up almost every year, but something always comes up either with you or me.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, babe,” Taehyung apologized. “I didn’t even realize that much time passed. How are we even surviving?”

“Barely,” you pouted. “Whenever I’m off from school, you’re busy, and whenever you get vacation time, I have school. The cycle never ends.”

There was a few seconds of reluctant silence and then Taehyung had a visual epiphany.

“Actually,” Taehyung grinned. “I do have some vacation time I can take. I have a full week that I need to take this year or else I lose it. Aren’t you on Spring Break right now?”

You popped up in your seat and nodded quickly.

Was this really happening?!

“Kim Elizabeth Taehyung!” you scolded. “Don’t you dare play with my emotions right now. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Taehyung giggled and angled the phone so you could see that he was on one knee. He comically cleared his throat and gave you his best pouty face.

“My beautiful darling soulmate,” he purred in a purely saccharine voice. “Can I stay at your place while I take my vacation? I don’t want to stay in a lame Airbnb again.”

“Of course you can!” you exclaimed. “I could never say no to that adorable face.”

He jumped up and started breaking out into his signature celebration dance, but you quickly noted that he was just wearing a towel from the waist down. Before you could comment on his lack of clothing, the towel unraveled and you got an eyeful of Taehyung that men and women alike would kill to have.

“TAEHYUNG!” you screeched. “Cover your shame!”

He dropped the phone on the bed and you could hear his cute laughter filling the room. He was nearly gasping for air when he finally picked up the phone. You noted the reddened ears and rosy cheeks showering his boxy grin like a halo. The man was far from an angel, but at least he had the decency to be embarrassed by his accidental flashing.

“I never took you for a cam-boy, Tae,” you teased. “Is that how you’re earning extra money these days?”

He rolled his eyes and shot you a look over the phone. It’s not like you’d never seen Taehyung naked, but you had to admit, it had been a while.

“You know that isn’t one of my kinks, babe,” he reprimanded. “I am not an exhibitionist. I would never make it as a cam-boy.”

You leaned forward and glanced down and then back at his face and lifted your eyebrows suggestively.

“From what I could see,” you mused. “You are more than qualified to have a big, long successful career as a cam-boy. You could be rolling in some thick money stacks, if you know what I mean.”

He tried so hard to resist your perverse innuendo, but the scowl he threw at you quickly morphed into unadulterated amusement. He fell back on his bed and clutched at his stomach with a major case of the giggles. From your slanted angle on the bed, you could see him gasping for air with tears forming in his eyes. Once he regained his composure, he wiped away his tears and wagged his finger at you.

“Naughty, naughty,” he scolded. “I may have to punish you when I get there.”

You rolled your eyes at his insinuation, but quickly brightened at the prospect of his arrival. It was time to make plans for your Tae-bear’s trip.

“Ok, let’s get serious for a minute,” you stated. “I need dates, times, number of checked bags, everything. When should I expect you to get here, TaeTae?”

“Let me check with the office and I’ll get back to you, babe,” he replied. “I just finished off a big account, so I do have a little down time coming my way. I will get everything cleared at work and then book my flight. As soon as I know, you’ll know.”

“Ah, I’m so excited to see you!” you squealed with delight. “It’s been way too long. I’ll set up the guest room for you.”

“Umm, guest room?” Taehyung queried with a smirk. “Yeah, that isn’t going to work for me. I’m going to need the left side of your mattress, babe.”

“Tae, that’s my side of the bed,” you growled. “You know that.”

“I know,” he winked cheekily. “But as your guest of honor, I get first dibs. You could always sleep on top of me, if you so choose.”

“Absolutely not, Kim Taehyung,” you spat. “Soulmate or not, you know how crucial my sleep cycle is. Any disturbance hitherto is a recipe for disaster.”

“Meh,” he shrugged. “I’ll risk it.”

The sound of an alien space gun text tone went off and his brow furrowed slightly.

“Hey, babe, I gotta go,” Taehyung announced. “Duty calls.”

“Ok, baby,” you pouted. “Text me later!”

You both blew kisses at the camera and ended the video call. You plopped back onto the couch and took a deep breath. If the Universe was feeling generous, you would soon be enjoying a full week of soulmate time. It felt like a dream.

Please let this happen. I need some Tae-time to recharge my soul.

Oberyn randomly popped up by your side and pawed at your arm with a pathetic whine.

“Ok, ok,” you relented. “Let me get my shoes on and I will take you for a walk.”

As you slipped on your favorite pair of rainbow Crocs, you reached up to grab his harness and leash. Oberyn danced around you in circles and it took a few tries to get him situated and out the door. By the time you returned to the apartment, you decided it was time to grab some lunch and start planning your vacation week.

So much to do, so little time.

March 18th, 7:47pm

You were just starting up another load of laundry when you received a Snapchat notification from Taehyung. You unlocked your phone in a flash and opened your Snapchat app. You clicked on his name in your messages with your breath held hostage.

Oh no! I’m not ready for the disappointment yet.

You were just about to fall into your familiar pit of despair when another message popped onto the screen.

Your shrill cheers and exclamations scared Oberyn right out of the laundry room and into the safety of the living room. You almost felt bad for scaring the daylights out of your dog, but turnabout is always fair play in this house. He scared you half to death on multiple occasions. A little payback was definitely in order.

You immediately started a video call to Taehyung, bouncing with glee all over your apartment. He answered after only a few seconds, and thankfully, was fully dressed.

“Well, hello, beautiful,” Taehyung quipped. “Feels like I just saw you hours ago. Couldn’t get enough of me earlier?”

“I think you showed me plenty this morning,” you joked. “Now, dish out the deets, Kim. Will you be here by this weekend?”

“How does tomorrow sound?” he replied with a smirk. “I was able to cash in my miles to book an early flight tomorrow morning. I’m packing as we speak.”

“Are you kidding me?” you nearly shrieked. “You’re really going to be here tomorrow?!”

“Yup yup,” Taehyung chirped. “If you pick me up at the airport, I’ll buy you lunch. How does that sound?”

“It sounds perfect, Tae-Bear,” you sighed happily. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here, babe,” he smiled softly at you. “I’m going to finish packing and then I have to go drop off Tannie at my sister’s. She’s going to dog sit for me while I’m gone.”

“Awwww,” you cooed. “Bring him with you! You know Obie misses his little brother. You already have him cleared as your emotional support dog. Why don’t you just bring my precious Yeontan to see his favorite aunt?”

“You really don’t mind?” Taehyung questioned. “You know he’s just chaos disguised as a ball of fluff.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you retorted. “Tannie is an angel. I’ll start clearing out a space for him. I have an extra bed for him and everything. The boys still eat the same food, right? Just bring his bowls and a blanket for the bed.”

Taehyung considered your proposal carefully, and then pursed his lips.

“I think you need to ask him yourself,” Taehyung suggested. “Maybe you can convince him to come with me.”

Taehyung switched the perspective on the phone so you could see into his apartment. He walked down the hallway calling for Yeontan. Curled up on an elaborate dog bed and surrounded by a plethora of dog toys sat the fluffiest dog known to man. Yeontan lifted his head and yawned cutely into the camera.

“Tannie!” you cooed at him. “What are you doing, sweetheart? Are you napping?”

Yeontan’s fluffy tail wagged in excitement and he stood up and shook the sleepiness out of his fur. You reached over to lift Oberyn from his spot on the couch and put him in view of the camera.

“Look, Obie,” you instructed. “It’s your little brother. Say hi.”

Both dogs tried to sniff at the other dog in the frame, and their eyes lit up in recognition.

“Tannie, do you want to come and visit your big brother Obie?” you asked the animated pup on the phone. “Tell your daddy that you want to come over to stay with us.”

Oberyn barked at the screen and wagged his tail, and Yeontan followed suit. The yips and growls from both dogs made you and Taehyung giggle profusely. You released your wiggly pup and sat forward on the couch to grin at your soulmate as he switched the perspective back to his handsome face.

“Ok, I guess you win,” Taehyung relented with a smirk. “I’ll pack Tannie’s things as well. Let me call my sister and cancel the sitter. I will forward you my travel itinerary as soon as that’s done. I love you, I miss you, and I will see you tomorrow, babe.”

“Same,” you replied joyfully. “Please be careful and get some rest. I know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough sleep.”

Taehyung stuck his tongue out at you like a petulant child and then made a goofy face into the camera. You made an equally funny face and then you both blew each other kisses and ended the call. He had a lot of packing to do, and you had to prepare for his arrival.

This is unbelievably wonderful. I never would have expected my break to go as well as this.

March 19th, 6:17am

You parked your car and dashed inside the airport lobby. You were supposed to meet Taehyung in Baggage Claim to help him with his bags and with Yeontan. The little fur ball was pint sized, but he was also fierce.

You spotted Taehyung’s silky waves under a hunter green beret near the middle of the baggage claim area. Once you were close enough, you noticed he was struggling to keep Yeontan calm and quiet as the carousel started moving.

“Sir, you need to control your dog,” you chided in a nasally pretentious voice. “Don’t make me call security.”

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung sputtered, not looking up. “I promise he’s actually really sweet, but he’s just really excited right now. He’s seeing his aunt for the first time in years.”

Taehyung spun around abruptly and shoved an ecstatic yapping Yeontan into your arms and then leaned in to place a fat kiss on your cheek. You gaped at his playful grin and shot him a knowing smile while Yeontan placed numerous kisses to your face.

“You knew it was me, huh?” you giggled, giving Yeontan a few kisses in return. “Sneaky Tae-Bear.”

He shrugged and wandered off to grab his bags from the carousel. You placated Yeontan and waited patiently as Taehyung rolled three suitcases over to you. Once you got everything packed into the car, including Yeontan strapped into the dog car seat, Taehyung lifted you around your waist and spun you around joyfully. Once he lowered your feet to the ground, you stayed wrapped in his bear hug on the verge of tears.

“Tae,” you breathed out shakily. “I really missed you.”

His arms tightened around your waist and he nuzzled his face into your neck.

“I missed you too,” Taehyung sighed sadly. “Let’s never let this much time pass without seeing each other. I didn’t realize how empty I felt, darling, until I held you in my arms.”

You chuckled at his dramatics and pulled away to look at his face. His mischievous smirk was fully loaded complete with a lifted eyebrow and you shook your head at his antics.

“Drama queen,” you joked.

“Hey,” he shrugged. “It’s the reason you gave me the middle name Elizabeth.”

You hurried home to get Yeontan settled in with Oberyn and Taehyung situated in your guest room. Once everything was unpacked and set, you ordered Thai food delivery for lunch so you and Taehyung could catch up while the boys played around the apartment.

“I really like your place,” Taehyung commented with a mouthful of Pad Thai. “It’s smaller than mine, but the setup is so much better.”

“How do you do that?” you asked in a pout. “How is it possible for you to compliment and insult my apartment in the same sentence?”

“Just talented, I guess,” he grinned while stealing a spoonful of your Tom Yum soup. “Speaking of talent, what hot stud did you have over recently, you little minx?”

You felt a rush of blood creep across your cheeks and ears at that last comment.

How the fuck does he know?

“What are you talking about, Tae?” you muttered nonchalantly while clearing your throat. “What makes you think that I had anyone over?”

“Well, I happened to notice the condom wrapper and used condom in the trash can in your bathroom,” Taehyung mused. “Someone had a big guest to entertain, didn’t they?”?”

You nearly choked on the Thai tea you were drinking, and Taehyung was damned lucky you didn’t do a spit take all over his expensive looking vintage clothes. After you recovered from your near death experience, you glared at the smug look on his face. He was chomping away happily on yet another spring roll and he paused to waggle his eyebrows at you and grin.

“Sooooo,” he drawled. “Who was it? Anyone special or just a rando from the bar?”

You hesitated. Taehyung would remember Jungkook. How could he not? You were constantly raving about Jungkook’s adorable bunny smile, his rippling muscles, the beautiful mole under his lip that you wanted to kiss every time you saw him. As you were debating the issue in your head, Taehyung picked up on your hesitation and scooted closer to you on the couch.

“It’s someone I know, isn’t it?” he assumed correctly. “C’mon, soulmate, dish me them dirty deets. I won’t judge.”

“Uh, yeah, you will,” you shot back in defiance. “You always judge, Tae.”

“Well, yeah, ok,” he admitted. “But I promise it will stay between us. Pinky promise!”

He stuck out his pinky and your heart fluttered with elation.

The pinky promise…

After the Great Soulmate Debate of 5th grade, you and Taehyung developed a signature “Ultimate Soulmate Handshake” that started with a linking of your pinkies. You lifted your eyes to meet his challenging gaze and you knew that he was testing the true strength of your relationship with his little gesture. You smirked at him and linked your pinky with his own, and you both stood up to do the proper handshake.

What followed was an overly complicated ballet of fingers, palms, and ridiculously dated dance moves ending with you jumping into his arms and you both striking a pose. Almost a decade had passed since you’d both completed these actions, yet it seemed like only yesterday you were sealing some kind of deal or promise with the Ultimate Soulmate Handshake.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around you once again and twirled you around the living room. Both of you were giggling like idiots, and you could not remember when you ever felt so happy. Taehyung truly was the other half of your soul, and you didn’t realize how much you missed him until that exact moment. Your giggles morphed into a quiet sob, and Taehyung quickly lowered you when he felt the atmosphere between you shift.

“Awww, babe, don’t cry,” he pleaded while wiping away your tears. “Why are you crying?”

“I just realized how much I’ve missed you, Tae-bear,” you sniffled. “It’s been too long.”

“Oh, honey,” he cooed while pulling you closer. “I know, believe me. I feel it too. I definitely feel like you were the thing that was missing in my life. Come here, baby, let’s dry those tears.”

Taehyung pulled you into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel from the counter. He dabbed at your tears until you pulled the napkin away to clean up your face and blow your nose unceremoniously into it. He grimaced playfully at your actions and then pulled you close so he could kiss your forehead. You walked around the counter to toss the used paper towel in the trash and turned to find Taehyung looking curiously at the box you’d left on the counter.

“What’s this?” he asked in wonder. “It’s beautiful. Look at the embellishments on the feet and the resin lacquered over the collage. Did you make this, babe?”

“No, I found it in my closet,” you said. “I don’t know where it came from. It’s not mine.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” he quipped. “This totally screams your name. Look at those stickers, these colors, and that handwriting. How is this not your box?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I think I would remember making something like this, Tae. I honestly have no idea what it is.”

“What’s inside?” he asked while lifting the lid. “Hey! My hamburger!”

Taehyung lifted out the small plastic hamburger toy and his boxy smile made a sudden appearance on his glowing face. As bright as his smile was, your confusion was matching it in intensity.

“What do you mean your hamburger?'' you questioned carefully.

Taehyung’s smile dropped and transformed into utter disbelief.

“You don’t remember?!” he shrieked. “Are you fucking kidding me?! How dare you?!”

Taehyung stomped off in the direction of your bedroom and you followed him, still perplexed by this mystery hamburger toy that brought both joy and anger to your soulmate.

You walked into your room and found Taehyung digging into the bowels of his suitcase. A few perfectly folded articles of clothing flew over his shoulders and you caught them in midair. You were just setting them on the bed when Taehyung screeched and startled you into a sitting position. He rounded on you and held up the hamburger toy and another small toy resembling a strawberry milkshake.

“딸기/ttalgi (strawberry),” he stated simply. “That was what I started calling you after you spilled that milkshake on my head after our first fight, remember? I said it was superior to apple, even though you refuse to accept it. In fact, I’m bringing it back because it totally suits you.``

The confusion on your face evaporated as the memory came hurtling back to you. You brought your hands up to cover your mouth and your eyes widened at the revelation.

“Holy shit,” you murmured. “I haven’t thought about that in years. What was that fight even about anyway?”

“It was over that Japanese girl we both wanted to date in 4th grade,” he reminded you. “The one who had the bright red hair, what was her name?”

“Oh yeah,” you drawled. “Asuka. She was beautiful, just like a cherry blossom petal falling from the sky.”

“A little cliche, but ok,” Taehyung chuckled. “But yes, her. We were at that burger place and we saw her. You told me you were going to ask her out and I got mad because I wanted to ask her out. We fought and ended up throwing food at each other.”

You blushed at the memory and tried to hide your face. It was so embarrassing to think about how immature you used to be.

“Sorry, Tae-bear,” you apologized. “I don’t even remember what you said that made me so angry.”

It was Taehyung’s turn to flush awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and huffed out a sigh.

“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I said that you couldn’t ask Asuka out because you were a girl.”

“Oh snap,” you gasped. “You did say that, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admitted sheepishly. “We were in 4th grade, babe. We didn’t know shit about sexuality back then. You just knew you liked both genders and I refused to believe that was possible.”

“That was until senior year when you met that percussion guy from marching band,” you scoffed. “What was his name? Kai?”

“Oh, Kai,” Taehyung reminisced fondly. “The pretty one who got away. He was adorable.”

Taehyung shook the memory away and lifted the toys again, determined to finish his story. He kneeled in front of you, leaning his forearms on your thighs for balance.

“After Asuka turned us both down, we were left filthy and heartbroken,” he continued. “Your shirt stained from the hamburger I threw at you and me covered in sticky strawberry milkshake. We made up in the parking lot and bought each other prizes from the bubble machine inside the lobby. Ironically, these were the prizes we got. I kept the burger and you kept the milkshake.”

He handed you the toys and you cradled them against your chest.

That was such a long time ago. My, how things have changed.

“Before we moved, we swapped toys,” he murmured, his voice thick with melancholy. “It was like our special soulmate talisman. I was you and you were me.”

You both looked at each other with misty eyes and failed to stifle the sniffles coming from your noses. The memory of your first real separation haunted both of you still. That day was agonizing for both of you, realizing that you may never be close to each other again. Almost two decades had passed and the wounds still felt so fresh. It only worsened when his parents moved back into town the year you and Taehyung left for college.

Oh, the irony…

“Oh, Tae,” you croaked. “I’m so sorry.”

You lurched forward and encircled his neck with your arms. He held you in his tender embrace and you both rode out the outpouring of emotion leaking from your faces. It dawned on you that neither of you ever really dealt with the separation, choosing to remain mute about the whole thing and pretend it never existed. In reality, it did exist, and it almost broke the both of you. Through carefully placed visits and outreach, you’d managed to keep the friendship bound haphazardly with metaphorical glue and tape, but it was never the same. You both had some real damage control to conduct, and maybe this was your opportunity to do so.

You pulled back and brushed your fingertips along Taehyung’s tear streaked cheeks and planted a fat kiss on his lips. Displays of affection were completely natural for the two of you, and it was established long ago that any emotional baggage that came along with it was just another piece of your soulmate bond.

“We’re both idiots,” you laughed against his lips. “You know that, right?”

Taehyung returned your laughter and your kiss, palming your cheeks to squish your face playfully.

“Come on,” he sighed. “Let’s get off the floor. I didn’t fly all the way over here to cry on the floor with my soulmate.”

You both huffed out a little laugh as you got up off the floor. You wandered back into the kitchen hand in hand after cleaning your faces with makeup wipes. Once you made it back to the box, Taehyung placed both hamburger and milkshake toys on the counter next to the box and proceeded to investigate the other items in the box. He lined up the other items next to your toys and then pulled out the folded piece of parchment. His interest was definitely piqued because you saw his eyes light up like flying saucers in the night sky.

“Whoa,” he breathed out in amazement. “What is this?”

He carefully unfolded the paper and spread it across the counter. You sat on one of your bar stools next to him and leaned on the counter. You hadn’t spent much time investigating the paper since the first day you discovered it.

“This is incredible,” he said, his voice heavy with excitement. “The parchment is well worn, which means it’s pretty old. Look at these colors, this calligraphy is amazing, and the brushstrokes are gorgeous. Where did you find this map, babe?”

“I already told you,” you repeated. “I don’t know where it came from. I found it in my closet. How do you know it’s a map?”

“It has all the characteristics of a map, the checkpoints, the layout, the design,” Taehyung explained. “Don’t you remember when I was collecting all those maps in junior high?”

“Oh yeah,” you drawled. “You became obsessed after we watched The Goonies and you were convinced that we would find treasure somehow.”

“Hey,” he insisted. “We found some really cool stuff with my Dad’s metal detector, remember?”

“Yeah,” you admitted. “We also found out about trespassing on private property and that it’s illegal to dig holes on government property and-.”

“Regardless,” Taehyung cut you off. “I know what I’m talking about and this map is really fucking cool. How are you not excited about this?”

“Honestly,” you sighed. “It kinda freaks me out. I don’t know who made it or where it came from and that bothers me.”

“Well, that’s why you have me, your own personal map expert and detective,” Taehyung bragged. “So, all of this random stuff was inside that box? There wasn’t anything else?”

“Well, almost everything,” you began. “There was a banana key chain USB, but it was Jungkook’s. He traded this four leaf clover necklace for it.”

You immediately regretted the words as soon as they left your lips. Taehyung’s face registered the name “Jungkook” as familiar, and you knew the instant he connected the dots.

“Oh shit,” he teased. “Jeon fucking Jungkook, that hot guy you tutored in college? That’s the stud you had over?! Damn, boy must be packing some heat!”

You buried your face in your arms and tried to hide from his incessant mockery.

Of course, he would remember.

“Stop,” you pleaded. “It was totally random and unplanned. I went out with Gina for St. Patty’s and I bumped into him at the bar. One thing lead to another and, well-“

“You had a midnight snack of Kookie and milk?” Taehyung suggested, lifting the clover. “You got lucky?”

You smacked his arm and he winced from the impact. You tried to stay mad at him, but his lips dropped to a pout and he started fake crying.

This boy…

“That isn’t going to work on me, Tae,” you said sternly. “Not gonna happen.”

His fake sobbing increased and he kept giving you the sad puppy dog look. When you saw an actual tear gloss over his cheek, you sighed and walked over to kiss his arm. He kept pouting until you finally gave in and kissed his lips. You both smiled at each other, and you rolled your eyes at your overly dramatic soulmate.

“Why does that always work on me?” you whined. “It isn’t fair.”

“What isn’t fair is that you traded a USB drive for this cheap plastic clover necklace,” Taehyung argued. “I mean it does light up, but it probably wasn’t an even exchange. Was the sex just that good?”

“If we’re factoring that into the equation,” you blushed fiercely. “Yes, it was most definitely an even exchange. In fact, I may owe him.”

“I am going to need a full detailed report later, babe,” Taehyung announced. “But for now, I want to talk about this map. Tell me what you know about it.”

“Not much,” you admitted. “I just know that there are seven smudges with words next to them and then there’s that big swirly heart thing connecting everything together.”

“Six smudges,” Taehyung corrected. “And why are some of these lines darker than the others?”

“What are you talking about?” you huffed. “I counted them. There are seven smudges.”

You finally took a closer look at the map and you gawked at the absence of one of the previous smudges from your earlier inspection.

What the hell?

“That can’t be right,” you whispered. “I know I counted seven.”

You pointed at the space where the first smudge had been. In its place was another block of text connected to the first block of text with a flourish of swirled ink. The text now read:

Were you wandering around looking for an erased dream too? It’s different from the typical definition of destiny. Your pained eyes are looking at the same place as me. Won't you please stay in dreams?

One time for the present, two time for the past, Happy that we met each other, now til’ the very end.

You traced your fingers over the new block of text and your brows furrowed in confusion.

That definitely wasn’t there before.

You also noticed the darkened line of ink running between the blocks of text. You traced its path across the page to the next block of text. This block read:

The heart no longer races when hearing the music play, Seems like time has stopped. Oh, that would be my first death I been always afraid of. If this can no longer resonate, No longer make my heart vibrate, Then like this may be how I die my first death, But what if that moment's right now?

The charcoal smudge was on the other side of the line, which abruptly faded as it neared the cryptic verse. You continued to trace the line across the page while Taehyung examined the lacquered box again.

“Hey, ttalgi,” Taehyung asked. “Why does this word have glitter around it but the others don’t?”

You looked up at him and focused on the word Time he was pointing out on the box. There was indeed a double line of purple glitter surrounding the letters that certainly wasn’t there before. You sighed in exasperation at this new information.

What the hell am I getting myself into with this box and this map?

“I don’t know, Tae,” you sulked. “It probably doesn’t mean anything.”

“How can you say that when something belonging to Jungkook and something belonging to me came out of it?” Tae quirked. “You’re doing that thing where something gets complicated and you just want to walk away, aren’t you? This is the Chinese puzzle box all over again.”

“Tae,” you whined. “Please don’t bring that up again. I was tortured enough with you hovering over me until I opened the stupid thing.”

“It was worth it though, right?” he insisted. “What was inside the puzzle box, baby?”

“This,” you pouted, holding up your right hand. “My soulmate promise ring and I’ve worn it every day since then.”

“Maybe this map is going to lead to something amazing,” Taehyung suggested. “I’m already invested in solving this mystery. I just need a trusty sidekick to help me along the way. What do you say, soulmate? Want to help your Tae-bear solve the Legendary Spring Break Map Mystery?”

“Why does everything you name have to be named like that?” you scoffed. “Naming something Great or Legendary doesn’t automatically make it awesome, y’know?”

“Well, not with that attitude,” Taehyung argued. “If you want, I can lay everything out so it isn’t so scary for you. It’ll be just like the detectives on TV with the boards and the Post-Its and stuff. You don’t have to set anything up, I’ll do it and then you can decide whether you are in or not.”

You briefly weighed your options and decided that any adventure with Taehyung was worth exploring. It wasn’t like you had anything else to do during this break, and you couldn’t deny that the map wasn’t igniting your curiosity. Apparently, Taehyung’s enthusiasm was taking root in your mind.

“Fine,” you sighed out dramatically. “But if this ends up going badly, I’m going to beat your ass.”

Taehyung squeaked enthusiastically and started setting up an investigation station on your coffee table. After he procured paper, pencils, and other office supplies from your desk, he laid everything out and started marking items of interest with colorful Post-It notes.

“What am I supposed to do while you’re playing Detective, Tae?” you asked indignantly. “Just sit here and look pretty?”

Taehyung looked up with a marker and a stack of purple Post-Its in his hands. He grinned and wrote something on the Post-It and walked over to place it on your forehead.

“There,” he beamed. “Now, you’re officially part of the investigation. Now, make yourself useful, dollface, and get me something to drink.”

You removed the paper from your forehead and read what he’d written and immediately scowled. You crumpled the paper and threw it at his retreating figure.

“I’m not your secretary, Taehyung,” you growled. “And call me dollface again and not only will I make you a pot of tea, I’ll pour it in your lap.”

Taehyung giggled and scrunched his nose at you while he attached the map to the wall with thumbtacks. You watched him scurry back and forth, continuously making notes and labeling portions of the map, and you shook your head and sighed heavily.

What am I getting myself into?

March 19th, 3:27pm

“Ok, it’s ready,” Taehyung announced. “Come check it out, babe!”

Taehyung swept his hand across the living room and presented a color coordinated layout of seven different investigation stations. You tried to track his organization, but got a little lost as your eyes scanned the living room.

“Ummm,” you began. “What exactly am I looking at here, Tae? You need to explain the method behind this madness I see.”

“It starts over here,” Taehyung proceeded to explain, pulling you to the far left of the room to a purple hued collection of Post-It notes. “I’ve divided up the map into seven distinct sections and separated them by color. I think the items you found correspond to these sections, but I don’t know how yet.”

“What makes you think they have any connection at all?” you queried. “Did you find something else?”

“No,” Taehyung continued. “But there are seven different sections on the map, seven different items, and seven different words on that box. That has to mean something. The words also seem to coordinate somehow. That section with two blocks of text mentions time and the word Time on the box is the only word with glitter. That seems to be a connection.”

“Ok, but what about the items?” you challenged. “How are they connected?”

Taehyung lifted a finger and started to speak, but then deflated. He put one hand on his hip and blew out a breath. He was stuck.

“I haven’t figured that out yet,” he admitted. “I was hoping you could help me with that.”

“How?” you wondered aloud. “I know about as much as you do about this stuff.”

“Well,” he began. “You said that the only item missing from the original collection was that banana USB, right?”

“Yeah, but it was Jungkook’s,” you reminded him. “He took it and gave me that shamrock necklace. What about it?”

“I think that’s a clue,” he decided. “I also found my hamburger toy in there, and I’m trading back for the milkshake toy. That’s two items from the original set that are being traded out for something in return.”

You rolled that around your brain and found that it surprisingly made sense, even if it was a little far-fetched.

It can’t just be a coincidence.

“Say they are connected somehow,” you relented. “What would be the connection?”

“I have a theory,” Taehyung expressed with a smirk. “But I need you to go along with it because it sounds a little nuts.”

“You know I always give in to your crazy schemes, Tae,” you chuckled. “Why would this be any different?”

“Good point,” he grinned. “Ok, so, here’s the thing. I think you are the key to all of this. The box, the map, the items, everything.”

You stare at him without blinking and slowly digest his statement.

That’s impossible.

“How could I be the connection?” you probed. “I didn’t make this box or the map and none of this stuff belongs to me.”

“Exactly,” Taehyung reiterated. “They don’t belong to you, but they are connected to something that does belong to you.”

“What do you mean?” you continued. “Is this about the hamburger toy?”

“Yes,” he exclaimed. “And also the USB you found. You said it belonged to Jungkook, right? He gave you the shamrock necklace in trade and now that’s part of the collection, but it actually belongs to you now.”

“Yeah,” you assented. “But what does that mean, Tae?”

“Maybe it’s symbolic?” Taehyung suggested. “Like you two had to make the exchange so it could be complete?”

“What exchange?” you asked. “You mean the banana or the sex?”

“Both,” Taehyung insisted. “Two things could be true. You guys traded information and bodily fluids. Bet you’d both been thinking about doing that since college, huh?”

“Yeah, actually,” you giggled. “We just never found the right time.”

“Time!” Taehyung screeched suddenly. “That’s it!”

He reached over to grab the box and he pointed out the word Time on the box surrounded by purple glitter.

“Time,” you echoed softly. “You’re right. Jungkook and I even talked about how often we kept missing opportunities because the timing was never in our favor.”

“Well, time was absolutely in your favor when you ran into each other at the bar,” Taehyung insisted. “You said it yourself: unplanned and random, almost like it was-“

“Destiny,” you cut him off, moving to reread the text in question. “We had been dreaming about each other, looking at the same things, all those unanswered questions finally answered.”

“You told me that this wasn’t here earlier,” Taehyung stated, pointing at the second block of text he’d marked with a purple Post-It marked with a JK. “It’s here now. I think this text, this word on the box, and the shamrock-banana exchange are all connected to you and Jungkook. It all makes sense.”

“But why?” you murmured softly. “For what reason?”

“Let me ask you something,” Taehyung said, sitting you both down on the couch. “After all of this happened with Jungkook, how do you feel?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I mean, I thought it might lead somewhere, but he said he’s not ready for anything serious right now.”

“Not the right time?” Taehyung smirked. “And yet, you aren’t crushed by this shocking news. Why do you think that is?”

“I get it,” you explained. “I’ve been there before. Remember when I was dating Hoseok? I felt the same way, I wasn’t ready for something that serious even though he was. That’s why we ended it.”

“Oh yeah, Hobi-hyung,” Taehyung remembered fondly. “I liked that guy. It’s too bad that didn’t work out. You were so happy with him.”

“I was,” you sighed. “But I was young and selfish. I wasn’t ready to share my life with anyone yet.”

“And neither is Jungkook,” Taehyung pressed on. “Do you still have any lingering doubts about what might have been with him? I know that’s been bothering you for years. Don’t think I didn’t notice all those wispy sighs and pouts whenever his name entered the conversation. I don’t see any of that now though. Maybe you finally got the closure you needed with Jungkook.”

“Yeah, I did,” you smiled softly, grabbing the shamrock necklace labeled Exhibit A from the table. “I just got lucky, I guess.”

“In more ways than one, you minx,” Taehyung teased. “But you can tell me all about that later because I have another theory to toss at you.”

Taehyung pulled you over to a collection of green Post-Its and pointed out the hamburger and milkshake toys labeled “Exhibits B & C.” You nearly choked on the giggle threatening to escape from your lips, but you offered your soulmate a reassuring smile instead.

“If the purple section is Jungkook,” Taehyung began. “Then this green section is all about you and me. The toys fit into that theory, but I don’t know which word and block of text connect to them.”

“Assuming that’s true,” you retorted. “What unfinished business could you and I possibly have? I mean, we literally share everything with one another. We don’t have any secrets, Tae-bear.”

“That’s true,” he agreed. “But maybe we’re overlooking something. I’m trying to figure out which block of text would best describe us, and I can’t figure it out. It certainly isn’t the next one on the path.”

He pointed out the second block of text following the section he’d labeled JK. The words “music” and “death” kept swirling in your vision, and you felt a creeping tingle down your spine.

There’s only one person that could be.

Your phone dinged across the room, and you snapped out of your reverie momentarily. Leaving Taehyung to ruminate over the cryptic clues laid out before him, you picked up your phone and read the email notification you’d just received from work. As soon as you read the Subject line, you gasped and dropped your phone on the floor. The clatter captured Taehyung’s attention and he glanced up at your face and noticed the drain of color on your paled expression.

“Ttalgi?” he worried. “Is everything ok?”

You shook your head and tried to keep the tears from slipping from your eyes. Taehyung quickly made his way across the room and pulled you into his arms, trying to soothe the unknown pain away. He didn’t know what was going on, but he instinctively knew that you needed someone to hold you together.

“What happened?” he whispered against your hair. “What’s wrong?”

“I know who it is,” you croaked out. “I know who that block of text is talking about.”

You leaned down to pick up your phone and you showed him the email you’d just received. Taehyung’s eyes widened and then darkened considerably when he read it. He couldn’t control the growl which clawed its way out of his throat.

“Min fucking Yoongi.”

Author’s Note: The plot is thickening, y’all. What do you guys think of my Tae-bear? Isn’t he something else? The story is really going to take off from here, so I hope everyone is ready for an adventure. Please fee free to ask me any questions or leave any comments. I’d love to hear what you think of the story so far.

Chapter One: There’s Always Time for Euphoria

Chapter Three: The Beautiful Music We Used to Make

Map of the Soul Masterlist

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma‘s MASTERLIST

47 notes · View notes

kairi-chan · 5 years ago

Text

Muse - SasuSaku

Pairing: SasuSaku

AU: Designer/Model AU

Rating: T

Genre: fluffy fluff fluff!

A/N: happy birthday, @borusawa / @idlusm this is really late, but I hope you like it!

…

Ino stood outside the building, wearing an impeccably white jumpsuit with a halter strap. Her long, blond hair flowed freely down her back, with a pair of dangling gold and diamond earring on each ear. She looked as fabulous as always, and Sakura immediately regretted coming to this art gallery. She felt so underdressed.

“Forehead, over here!” Ino waved, a large smile on her face. Sakura made it up the steps and waved back. “Oh my god, I thought you were going to flake on me!”

The pinkette laughed nervously. “It’s hard to when you kept calling every ten minutes. Hard to get any studying done like that, you know?”

“You can study later!” Ino grinned. “Besides, I would have picked you up myself to help you get ready but,” her blue eyes scanned Sakura from head to toe. Her pink hair was up in a loose bun, and she wore a silky black spaghetti strap top and matching square pants with high heels. Her ears dripped with a string of diamonds. Simple, but sophisticated. “I guess I didn’t need to. I love that we unconsciously matched, too!”

Sakura’s eyes widened and took in their outfits again. She was right, they did match. And it made Sakura relax a bit, easing her worry of being underdressed. This wasn’t the first art exhibition that she attended, but it was definitely her first with all these big names going.

Ino’s boyfriend, Sai, was in the running for becoming a national artist, and he arranged an art exhibit with various artists from different fields to create art pieces with the theme “Muse” to celebrate unity amongst artists and to show off various multimedia and mixed media art. But that wasn’t even what made Sakura nervous. It was the fact that Sasuke Uchiha would be part of the exhibit and presenting his art, as well.

She had spoken to the designer before, at a gala wherein Ino made Sakura her plus one. The pinkette was a new face in the fashion and modeling scene. Everything amazed and overwhelmed Sakura. Her best friend had been in the industry since she was a child, practically at home with this crowd and scene, but it was all different for Sakura.

She was studying medicine when Ino called her to accompany her to a go-see nearby. Little did she know, Ino signed her up, too. And the agency loved her. It took a little more convincing but the pay was good, and Sakura told herself she would only accept projects if it fits in with her schedule.

Everything was going well, everyone she met was nice, fabulous, and downright rich and famous. Everyone was a somebody, and she often had to stop herself from fangirling whenever she would meet someone she followed on Ninstagram.

That included Sasuke Uchiha.

Sakura followed him because other than posting photos of his clothes on models, he also posted photos of his sketches and concept pieces from time to time, and Sakura adored his style. He was also really handsome—that was more than a plus. She thought she would faint once she met him, but his aura was really calm yet strong. He was a man of little words, but every conversation they’d had so far, she found herself more and more interested in him.

To say she had developed a crush was a bit of an understatement, but in the course of a few months, they would occasionally text and send each other photos, bump into each other during events and runway shows, and she even met his brother during a charity gala.

But never did they go out alone, or him as her out on a date. It saddened her, but she understood. They were both busy people, and Sasuke lives on a whole other world, as did Sakura.

He was still nice to look at, though. And fun to be with. Thinking about him made Sakura smile, and excited her to see what pieces he made for the exhibit. This had been in the works for six months, giving the artists roughly four months to create.

The two girls walked into the building and were greeted by staff who ushered them into the main hall as they offered them champagne and wine. Sakura took a flute filled with champagne and walked into the gallery arm in arm with Ino. They chatted as they looked around and bumped into people.

It wasn’t long until they found Sai. Ino immediately let go of Sakura and ran to him, engulfing him in a big hug, and giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Sakura stood there, feeling a little awkward but was also happy to see them together again.

“It’s been so long,” Ino gushed. “Everything looks amazing!”

Sai slipped an arm around her waist and thanked her. He then turned his gaze towards Sakura. “Glad you could make it. Have you looked around already?”

“Just a bit,” Sakura smiled. “I haven’t seen all the pieces yet.”

Sai’s smile widened. It was a little creepy, but Sakura learned to get used to it. “You have to see the East Wing. The pieces there are… interesting.”

“Oh really?” Ino asked. “Then maybe we should have a look. Wait, where’s your area?”

“It’s over on the North Side, beautiful. Do you want to see it?”

“Of course!” Ino’s eyes were practically sparkling.

Once Sakura saw Sai’s exhibit, she wanted to cringe. To say his sketch, oil painting, and pastel work were… explicit was an understatement. No one needed to guess who his muse was. Sakura thought Ino would be embarrassed but oh no, quite the opposite. She was ecstatic. Despite the erotic looks on her faces, on in bed, the other by a dresser, and the sketches showed various… positions. It left very little to the imagination.

Once the guests noticed Ino and Sai’s presence, they were swarmed, and Sakura took steps back until she slipped away from the crowd. She was thankful for the escape, looking at art, she thought, was better alone.

For now, at least.

Chatting was seldom, and she wandered into another hall, taking a sip from her champagne from time to time until it was only half full.

The next ball was a little livelier, and She noticed it was because there were a handful of well-known artists and a group of reporters had just left the scene. There was one particular set of sketches that caught her eye from afar, and she gravitated to it. It looked so… familiar.

The three sketches were of the same outfit. A woman wearing a short, white dress with a simple cut. The movement was dynamic and Sakura could feel the model’s delight wearing the dress, despite having no face drawn on.

The next piece was of a mannequin, dressed in a beautiful, long, moss-colored gown. The details were intricate, filled with flowers and lace that dripped down the skirt.

“Sakura. Nice to see you here.”

She whipped around and grinned. “Itachi!”

He leaned in to kiss both her cheeks and he gave her a soft smile. “I didn’t think I would see you here.” Itachi turned, and called out, “Sasuke, look who it is.”

A tall man with jet-black hair stopped mid-conversation with someone and excused himself before approaching the two of them. Unlike Itachi, he didn’t kiss both of Sakura’s cheeks.

“Sakura.” He gave her a slight bow and gave his brother a nervous look. “Itachi, could you—“

Itachi pretended not to hear him. “Sakura, have you seen all the art in this hall yet?”

“Oh, no,” Sakura felt quite embarrassed having to admit. “I’ve been taking my time.”

Itachi nodded. “They have such a lovely collection. I’m so glad I came to support my little brother.”

Sasuke glared at him, his lower lip jutting out.

“Yeah, I agree.” Sakura grinned. “Sasuke, your sketches and this dress are beautiful.”

“Ah. You already saw?” His eyes slightly widened, and his cheeks colored by the slightest bit.

“How can I not?” She laughed. “Your sketches caught my eye and this dress is remarkable.”

Sasuke looked behind her, and then at his brother, but refused to meet her eye. “Aa. Thank you…”

Itachi’s dark eyes glittered. “This invitation is probably the best thing to happen to him,” he turned to face Sasuke. “Don’t you think so?”

“... Hn.”

Sakura tilted her head, observing Sasuke a little more. He never said much to begin with, but he was so reserved this time and looked a little… shy. The shit-eating grin on Itachi’s face made her realize that Itachi was teasing his little brother, and decided to steer the conversation elsewhere. “I heard each exhibitor gets to showcase three pieces, where’s your third on, Sasuke-kun?”

“Right behind you,” Itachi smirked, taking the flute of champagne from her hand.

Her brows scrunched together but when she turned around and came face to face with Sasuke’s final piece, both of her hands came up to her mouth, to muffle a gasp. It was a large portrait of her, sitting by a window with a cherry blossom tree outside. Her hand cheek was resting on her hand, a soft smile on her face.

She recognized it, it was the time she had coffee with Sasuke back in Japan, when she was showing him around the city after a shoot. It had only been a brief encounter, but thinking about how much it might have meant to him made her cheeks redden. The detail on the canvas was amazing, as well as the strong and precise strokes. Sakura was completely at a loss for words.

“Sasuke hasn’t picked up a paintbrush in years,” Sakura could hear Itachi’s grin, as well as Sasuke’s strangled protests. “I’m just glad he found the inspiration to do so again.”

Finally, she turned around to face them, Itachi excused himself and left her with his brother. Sakura suddenly felt so shy but also honored that Sasuke would pick her, out of all of the models, to paint. “It’s beautiful, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura blushed and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “The best one I’ve seen so far.”

Sasuke gave her a warm smile. “Thank you.”

For a moment, they just stood there, looking at each other’s eyes, and small smiles on their faces, until Sasuke offered his arm to her. “Would you care to join me to see the other exhibits?”

Her green eyes glittered, and she eagerly took his arm. “Yes, of course. I would love to.”

Just as Sasuke was leading her out of the hall, Sakura took one more look at the portrait, and the sketches and the dress, and noticed the cohesiveness of the look. Her eyes darted to the name of the exhibit, MUSE, before turning her gaze back ahead, heart pounding at the realization why Sasuke chose spring and earthy colors, why he painted a portrait of her…

Her heart was pounding and her hold on him tightened by a little bit.

“Have you figured it out yet, Sakura?” Sasuke asked quietly, a smug smile on his face. When she didn’t speak, he leaned down and whispered close to her ear. “Because you’re my muse.”

---

A/N: I hope you liked this, bb!

Thank you for reading my fic, darling. If you like my stories, please check out my profile and check out the link to my masterpost. I also have links to my FFnet, Ao3, Twitter and Ko-Fi.

106 notes · View notes

ouronlyangelhes · 5 years ago

Text

Hot Sheet Hotel: Harry Styles One Shot

The one where you and Harry are divorced, he remarries but keeps coming back to you. Hope you enjoy it. Angsty and sad! 🥰 Sorry I’ve been kinda absent on here! I’ve been spending a lot of time working on this piece!! Let me know what you think!

You and Harry had gotten married at young age. Dated all through high school and were the stereotypical high school sweethearts. Both of you dreamed of being that couple who had been together for ages and was always in love. At nineteen, the two of you tied the knot and were ready to spend the rest of your lives committed to one another and never letting a day pass without saying I love you. Things shifted quickly as both of you were approaching your 23rd birthdays and you two were not the same people you were in high school.

People change and the two of you had changed so much in a short period of time. You never wanted to listen to people who constantly were telling you that you had rushed into marriage with Harry. Because truthfully, you didn’t think you had. Both of you were content with spending the rest of your lives with each other so it just made sense. The both of you had become different people and had different desires. You wanted to travel the world and go out and be as adventurous as possible.

Harry was caught up with work and was living through his career and that became his top priority. Things had changed and they had changed too much for your liking. The two of you had a conversation one day and realized that you no longer saw each other as the person you were going to spend the rest of your lives with. Your twenties were suppose to be a time of self discovery, having experiences, living life to the fullest, and then maybe meeting someone special and settling down. You had done everything backwards and you were starting to understand why so many were hesitant about you and Harry getting married so young.

It was hard, being divorced at twenty-three. It was a strange thing to tell people. It was something that you never saw for yourself or with your relationship with Harry. He never saw it as something that would happen either. He felt the ever growing distance between the two of you and realized that you both were not the same people you were. It’s great to change, we all learn things through living life but the two of you hadn’t really lived. You got married and that was what you knew.

Now at 27, you can honestly say you’ve lived. You have traveled the world, met amazing people, and truly gained life experience. You have a job you love and you feel that you are right where you need to be. You’ve been working at Full Stop management for the past few months. You love the people that you work with and are really happy with the work you’ve been doing. At first, you were hesitant to take a job with the same management company that managed your ex husband but you couldn’t let Harry control your decisions. The two of you had been divorced almost 4 years.

Life had moved on and you both went your separate ways. You traveled and Harry settled down and got remarried a few years later. To outsiders it probably seemed awkward that you worked at Full Stop, but you never really encountered Harry much to be honest. When the the two of you split it was pretty peaceful. No major arguing over property or anything like that. Just an amicable split. When you saw each other it was like old friends saying hi and then carrying on with their day.

You were working in your office when Jeff’s assistant knocked on your door,

“Hey! Sorry to bother you. Jeff asked me to come get you, he said that Matt called in sick and Jeff wants you to come fill in for him in a meeting.” She asked as she stood in the door way.

“Yeah! Tell him I’ll be in there in just a second.” You told her as you finished up the email you were working on.

You shut your laptop and headed into the conference room.

“Ah Y/N! Thank God you’re here! Matt called in sick and left me scrambling to get everything together for this meeting. I was wondering if you’d just fill in for him and do some typing and note taking. I know this might be a little awkward but there’s literally no one I trust more than you. Harry’s coming in to go over ideas and media releases for his second album and I understand if you aren’t comfortable with working with him or whatever. I know your job isn’t to work with him directly so let me know if you aren’t okay with it.” He said.

“I appreciate you telling me. I am okay with working with him and sitting in on this meeting. Look, its been a long time and a lot has happened sense then. I am ok working with him as long as he’s fine with having me sit in then I am good.” You said to him.

“Okay great! I will go confirm with him that everything is good and I’ll be back in. I am sure he’ll be good with it. If you want to just go ahead and set up for taking notes and all that I’ll be back in a minute.” He said as he walked out the door of the conference room. Sure, it felt a little weird to think that you’d be sitting in a room with your ex husband talking about his new album. But it wasn’t exactly crazy. You weren’t uncomfortable with it and you hoped that Harry wouldn’t be either. You had parted almost four years ago and he still had a great amount of respect and love for you.

When Jeff told him that you’d be sitting in on the meeting, he was more than okay with it. He had a lot of respect for you and your work ethic. When you wanted something, you got it. That was always something he had loved and admired about you. His second album was due at any moment and there was still a lot logistically to figure out. He needed to plan the release date, approve the album artwork, start setting up the tour schedule, tour outfits, touring venues, all of that still needed to be done. He was still putting the finishing touches on it and was eager to release it whenever he felt like it was fully finished.

You were typing away on your laptop getting the documents set up for the meeting, when you heard the conference room door open.

“Hey! Jeff said I’d find you in here.” Harry said as he walked in.

“You found me.” You said as you looked up from the document you were working on.

“I just wanna say thank you.” He said as he sat down next to you.

“For what?” You asked.

“For being so cool. For being okay with working with me. And just for being the you I’ve always known. For just be a go with the flow person. I get it, its kind of weird to be asked to be involved in your ex husband’s second album meeting but I appreciate you being here. You always had really great ideas and I dunno I just wanted to tell you that.” He said with a smile.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I am happy to help, honestly! I have kinda missed sitting in on these kinds of meetings. I’ve mostly just been doing a whole lot of scheduling at the moment so I haven’t really gotten a chance to let my creative juices flow with album artwork and merch and stuff.” You said to him.

The conversation you’ve had with him wasn’t really awkward at all. It was just Harry you were talking to. There was never any pressure of discomfort. You always felt like you could just tell him anything.

“Glad you both are in here! We are still waiting on a few more people to get here but we can go ahead with those we have. They are just sitting in the lobby so I’ll have Lauren send them in and we can go ahead and get rolling.” Jeff said as he walked in.

“Okay sounds good.” Harry said.

Jeff started discussing plans for the album and ideas for the album artwork.

“For the artwork, these are the options that we have so far. So option one is a little bit more abstract, option two has the darker colors, option three is a mix of both option one and two. Thoughts?” Jeff asked the group.

“I am not sure. I like all of them to be honest. All of them have elements in them that I like. Y/N, what do you think?” Harry said.

“Uh, I agree all options are great. What if we took a little of the darker from the second option and just changed the font up a little. I like the darker colors but I also am not a big fan of the font personally.” You said.

“I like that. Yeah let’s do that.” Harry said in response to your idea.

The rest of the meeting was just finalizing tour dates and things like that. You were surprised with how well the meeting went and nothing really felt awkward between you and Harry. After the meeting was over you headed back to your office to continue working.

“Hey! I just wanted to say thank you for your help in the meeting. I really liked the ideas that you shared and I just wanted to tell you that.” Harry said as he popped his head into your office.

“Yeah, of course. Just doing my job.” You replied back to him.

“I’m sure you’re probably busy, but I was wondering if you’d want to get a drink with me? You look busy so if you tell me to piss off I will, I just wanted to ask.” He said to you.

“Uh, yeah. A drink sounds nice. Let me just finish this up real quick and I’ll meet you in the lobby when I’m done.” You said.

“Alright.” He said as he walked out.

You were happy that you and Harry had reached a point where he felt comfortable in asking you out for a drink. Nothing was hostile or awkward, it was just perfectly normal. You turned off the lamp by your desk and grabbed your things out of your office. You met Harry in the lobby where he was sitting in one of the chairs.

Harry had a car outside waiting for him and you followed him to it.

“So, are you excited about the album?” You asked him trying to make some sort of conversation.

“I am! You know we don’t just have to talk about work stuff. I mean we can, but I know that we have plenty of other things that we could talk about.” He said.

“Like what? I don’t know I’m just trying to not make anything weird or be too invasive.” You said.

“You’ve never been invasive. And I don’t know, I just like hearing what you’ve been up to. Jeff has told me that you’ve done quite a bit of traveling. Did you go anywhere neat?”

“I did. I went to Italy, Germany, Spain, and a few other places. It was just nice to be able to see the world and just see how beautiful the world really is.” You said to him.

“That’s so true. Over the years I’ve gotten to go so many places I never would’ve imagined I’d go. And it’s all because I make music that people want to hear. It’s just crazy to me.” He said.

“Is this the place?” Harry’s driver asked as he pulled over the car.

“Yes, this is it. Thank you. I’ll let you know what time to return.” Harry said as he exited the vehicle.

“Why this place if you don’t mind me asking?” You asked Harry as you got out of the car and started walking into a hotel.

“I do some writing here sometimes. Sometimes I get a drink or two at the bar and then I head up to my room and write. There’s something about being all alone in a hotel room that produces a lot of emotions. No one wants to hear all the positives and how amazing you life is. Because life isn’t always perfect. People wanna hear you be vulnerable and talk about how you’re really feeling and the experiences you’ve had.” He confessed to you.

“I guess you have a fair point there. Sometimes you get caught up in all the good parts of life that sometimes you don’t want to write about the bad.” You said.

“I come here every couple of weeks, just to write and think. The studio is great and I’ve written a lot of amazing songs there, but sometimes when I’m alone and just able to sit down and pour my feelings out I get the best songs.” He said.

“So do you wanna go sit at the bar?” You asked him.

“Sure, there’s also little booths in the corner as well.” He pointed out to you.

The waitress came up and took your drink order and then headed back to the bar to get your drinks.

“So, how’s married life?” You asked him.

“Well, I guess the same as it was the first time. No, I’m joking it’s good. She’s really wonderful, she really is.” He said with a smile.

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.” You said.

“So do you. Have you been dating or seeing anyone?” He asked.

“Here and there. Nothing super serious.” You said.

“Thank you.” You said to the waitress as she brought you a second drink.

“We should do some shots!” Harry suggested.

“I don’t know if shots are such a good idea.” You said to him.

“Come on! It would be like the old days!” He begged.

“Sure, why not.” You said

It was like old times again. You two were having a lot of fun together. You had to admit the few drinks you’d had combined with shots had you feeling pretty buzzed.

“Do you wanna head upstairs upstairs to my room? We can have a few more drinks or something. Or just go talk with a little less noise.” Harry asked.

“Yeah okay, sure.” You said as you got out of your chair.

You got in the elevator and waited to get off on the floor of the room.

You were definitely feeling the drinks at this point and you weren’t sure how many more you could take. Harry got the key card out of his wallet and opened the door.

“Make yourself comfortable.” He said as he went to the bar to grab some glasses and drinks.

“Thanks.” You said as you sat down on the couch in his large suite.

“I usually just rent it for like a week or two at a time or sometimes a month at a time and just come here when I feel inspired or need to write.” He said as he described the room.

“Here you go.” He said as passed the drink your way.

“Thank you.”

The room began to fall quiet. The conversation that had been taking place a few short hours ago had seemed to come to a halt. The two of you were just sitting on the couch admiring one another. The next thing you knew his lips were pressed against your own.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You said as you got up from the couch.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said as he reached for your hand and you sat back down. Your lips meeting once again for the second time in ages. His hands traveled up and down your body. Your hands gripped his hair. His hands began to wander just like they use to. And you found yourself reaching for his belt and unbuckling it. He picked you up off the couch and carried you into the bedroom. The two of continued what you had started in the living area and picked right back up where you’d left off. You pulled his belt off and he took of his shirt. He looked good. He always had but it was different this time because so many years had passed since you had seen him this way. He was on top of you helping you get off you dress.

“God you look beautiful. You haven’t changed at all.” He said as he pressed his lips against yours once again.

Oh my god. He was married. He was married but his wife wasn’t the woman that he was holding. His wife wasn’t the one he was making out with in a hotel room. His wife wasn’t the one who had unbuckled his pants and her hand in his pants. That wasn’t here, that was all you. You were the one who was driving him wild. You were the one he had in the palm of his hand. He continued planting kisses all over your body. He always knew the right places and exactly where and how you liked to be touched. Even after all this time that was something that hasn’t been forgotten.

“You feel so good.” He said as he thrusted in and out of you.

Pretty soon the feeling overtook you both and you both collapsed back down onto the bed. You had fallen asleep pretty quickly and had planted you head in his chest, just like you had once before.

You were awoken to the sound of a phone ringing.

“Hey love. Did you get my text about me staying over at the hotel to finish up a song?” He asked and you knew who he was talking to.

“Yeah it came along real nicely.” He said as he winked at you.

“I miss you too. I’ll be home softly. I’m just gonna run a couple errands and I’ll be back. Are you headed anywhere?” He said back to her.

What the hell were you thinking? He was sitting in bed in a hotel room with you and talking to his wife. His wife that he shared a home with and obviously had a lot of love for. But obviously not enough love to not cheat on her.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then. I won’t be too long. I love you.” He said as he ended the phone call.

“Hey, sorry about that. I’ve gotta run. You can stay as long as you need if you want to get some more sleep you can. I’ll call you.” He said as he pressed a kiss to your lips and was out the door.

That was the first time you had met at the hotel. It certainly wasn’t the last. It kinda became a weekly occurrence, sometimes more than once a week. You would show up to the hotel and meet Harry. You knew that it was something that you shouldn’t be doing. But somehow it had become so easy to fall back into a pattern with Harry, it was like no time had passed and nothing had changed. Things had changed though, he was married but not to you. You did have some guilt that consumed you from time to time, mostly you just felt selfish for wanting him in your life in whatever way possible.

“You look really good tonight.” Harry said as he let you in to his room.

“So what about all those other nights, huh? Did I not look good then?” You said in a joking tone.

“Oh no, I can assure you looked good all those nights too. I’m sure of it.” He said as he pulled you in closer.

It was strange. It was like you were falling in love with Harry all over again. All those kisses, touches, compliments he paid you, sweet gestures, it all made you heart grow fonder towards time. You tried to fight the way you were feeling, you really did. You couldn’t help it. He had this way of drawing you in and making you feel so special and so loved.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening in between the sheets.

“Do you ever think about what would’ve happened if we would’ve stayed together all those years ago? Like where we’d be now?” He asked as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Yeah I definitely have thought about it. We were so young when everything happened and we both thought we wanted the same things and then it just got hard. I do think about it though.” You said to him.

“I think about. I think about all the things we would’ve done together. The family we would’ve had.” He said looking over at you with tears in your eyes. He didn’t have the right to say these things to you anymore. He wasn’t the man you were married to anymore and he wasn’t the man you could have a family with. He was doing all of that with someone else.

“You just can’t say these things to me. You just don’t get to tell me the life we would’ve had. You don’t get to say those things to me. You don’t just get to get my hopes up and make me think about what could have been. You’re doing all of those things with someone else and I’m just the girl that you occasionally share a bed with when your lonely.” Your words has stung. He didn’t know what to say. He felt extra guilty for what he has been putting you through the past few months. He felt your pain, it hurt him so much to see you so upset. It always had, he wanted to do everything in his power to care for you and protect you. He held you as you sobbed.”

“You’ve never been someone to just share a bed with, you know that.” He said as he wiped your tears.

“Do I? Because I feel like I am some big dirty secret and I just feel so guilty. I love you Harry. I always have and I think I always will.” You confessed as he put his arms around you.

“You’re not some dirty secret. If things had been different between us and timing had been on our side I know it would’ve been you. It most definitely would’ve.” He said to you.

You knew he had to feel something too, even if he couldn’t communicate those feelings to you. He had to, he was once in love with you and you shared a home and last name.

The rest of the day was spent in his arms, him holding you, and just sitting in silence.

“Are you hungry? I could go pick us up some food real quick.” He asked.

“That’d be great, yeah.” You said.

“Okay great. I’ll be back in 20.” He said as he put on his jacket and headed out the door.

You heard a knock at the door.

“What did you forget?” You asked as you opened the door to find none other than Jeff staring at you.

“Uh hey. I was just coming by to have Harry sign these but I guess he’s busy.” He said to you.

“Yeah, he just popped out for a minute.” You said.

There was absolutely no way this could be played off. You were wearing shorts and one of his button up shirts. This was exactly what it looked like, judging by the look on Jeff’s face he had put the pieces together.

“What’s going on here? He’s married Y/N, I don’t understand. When did this start?” He asked you.

“Don’t you think I know he’s married Jeff. I know that. But he was once married to me too okay and I get I am being selfish but part of me just wanted a part of that back.” You said to him.

“You need to end things with him. What was going to happen if somebody saw you two or she found out? Then what?” He asked and you heard the keycard enter the door.

“I’m back and I- Jeff.” Harry said as he entered the room.

“I just brought these over for you sign. We will talk about this later. Think about what I said Y/N.” He said as he walked out of the room.

You had tears in your eyes. You and Harry had been fooling around for months now and neither one of you seemed to have thought about the consequences of your actions.

“I think I should go.” You said as you began to gather you things.

“Wait, please don’t go. Please stay. Please.” Harry begged.

“I can’t stay Harry. I can’t. If I stay I’ll never want to leave. And we both know that I can’t stay. This was bound to end sometime, I mean you’re married. What did we expect to happen? I just need you to let me go and just not contact me. Ok?” You said as you let go of his hand and walked out the door.

This hurt Harry in a way he never imagined. It was like losing you all over again. He was feeling so much hurt and pain. But why? He was married. He wasn’t suppose to be meeting his ex wife in a hotel room, he wasn’t married to her anymore he was suppose to let that go. For some reason he just struggled letting you go. He always had.

It had been over a month since you had walked out of the hotel room. It had been hard, you got into a routine with Harry again and then all the sudden it was over. You had been having a hard time and you had to think he was too. It least you hoped he was, because that would’ve meant that what had been going on had mattered to him. At this point, you didn’t know what to think.

You found yourself at the doctors office after coming down with a case of the flu. You had a raging headache, throwing up constantly, and the chills.

“So the good news it’s not the flu.” The doctor said as she walked into the room.

“Well that’s good I guess.” You said slightly confused.

“While we were analyzing your test results we determined you are about six weeks pregnant.” She said to you.

“I’m sorry what?” You asked back.

“I’m assuming it wasn’t planned. I saw that you have an OB on file. I would recommend making an appointment as soon as possible.” She said.

“Thank you. I will.” You said.

You were in shock. You were pregnant with Harry’s child. What was going to happen? You knew that you had to tell him. No matter what had happened between the two of you, you couldn’t keep his own child from him.

Jeff had mentioned that Harry had some studio time reserved and you figured that was the only place you’d be able to track him down.

“Hey, I’m looking for Harry.” You asked.

“Oh yeah, he’s just in the studio down the hall to the left. Number 5.” She said.

As soon as you opened the studio door you found Harry sitting on the couch, writing in his journal.

“Hey.” You said as you walked closer to him.

“Uh hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you.” He says as he got up off of the couch.

“Can I talk to you. It’s important.” You said as you sat down next to him.

“Yeah, of course. Are you alright? You’re scaring me.” He said.

“No I’m not. I’m-I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?”

“I- I”

“Have you been to the doctors?” He asked.

“Just like my regular doctor, she’s the one who confirmed it. I haven’t like made an appointment for anything else. I just felt like I had to come here first.” You confessed to him.

“Uh yeah. We can figure it out, ok? We’ll figure out something. I’d like to go with you to the appointment if that’s alright. He said.

“Yeah. I want you to be there. I do. Look, I should probably get going, but I’ll call you once I schedule the appointment.” You said to him.

“Yeah, please do.” He said as you walked out.

You didn’t know what you expected his reaction to be but it wasn’t this. He wasn’t mad, upset,angry, or anything like that. He actually seemed okay. At one point that’s all you two could talk about way the day you would finally have a family together. Now it’s just ironic the timing and situation of it all.

You called the OB office and set up the appointment. You had already called Harry to let him know about the appointment so he could plan to be there. As weird as it was, you were excited. You knew it was going to be messy and there was a lot that needed to be figured out.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked as he held your hand as you sat on the table in the office.

“I feel fine really. Thank you again for coming with me.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” He said as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

The next thing you knew the doctor was making her way in.

“Hello! How are you guys doing today?” She asked.

“Were good!” Harry said with a smile.

“I’m assuming you both are first time parents.” She asked.

“Yes.” You replied.

“So basically why were going to be going today is trying to determine how many weeks you are and do an ultrasound to try and get a heartbeat. I’m assuming it’s probably going to be too early too see very much but we’re gonna go ahead and give it a try and make sure the little one is doing well.” She said.

You both nodded. Harry’s face was lit up, he was excited. Obviously he was married and he had no idea how he was going to handle that one. But what he knew was that this is what he dreamed of since high school. Getting to start a family with the girl of his dreams. Even though this wasn’t the most ideal way, he wasn’t upset. He couldn’t be.

Both of you watched the doctor and the ultrasound technicians face drop. You knew something was wrong, you could tell.

“I’m very sorry, but there isn’t a heartbeat. I’m so sorry. I’ll give you two a moment.” She said as she walked out

Both of were in a state of shock. The small dream of having a family with him was crushed before it even started.

Both of you were sobbing uncontrollably into each other’s arms. You felt hopeless and heartbroken all at the same time.

“I’m so sorry love. I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through I’m just sorry.” Harry said as he cried.

“I know you. I know..” You said.

After leaving the doctors office. It felt like something had shifted within you. Your once warm, loving, present demeanor now felt cold. You felt numb as if this was all happening to another person and not you.

After that day you had cut yourself off from Harry. He had tried calling and texting to see if you were okay. Maybe it was selfish to ignore him, but it was simply to painful to think about having to talk about it anymore. A dream that you had once had been ripped away and you just didn’t want to have to keep reliving by being in contact with Harry.

You went back to work pretty soon after, you took a couple personal days but you needed to work. You had missed the routine and the socialization. You needed to get out of your apartment and back into your everyday routine. If you didn’t you were gonna go insane.

“Can we talk?” Harry said as he walked into your office.

“I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to have the kind of conversation you’re looking for.” You confessed to him.

“We need to talk about it. I’ve let you be and let you have some space because I figured you needed. But you’re not the only one who lost something. You’re not the only person who’s extremely sad and feeling this way. You are making this all about you and that was my kid too!” Harry said noticeably upset and in pain.

“I wasn’t trying to make it about me. I just needed some time to think and process what had happened. I also just felt extremely stupid for believing everything would be all butterflies and rainbows and perfect. Who was I kidding? You’re married for goodness sakes! I don’t know why I got my hopes and wanted this so much. Maybe it’s good this didn’t happen. You can just go back to your life as normal and just forget about me.”

“Y/N, you don’t mean that do you?” He asked.

“I don’t know what I mean right now Harry. I just need time and to be alone. Go home to your wife.”

You needed to process this for yourself. You had lost more than just a child in all of this. Along the way you think you had lost yourself too. You had compromised your values and gotten yourself involved in a situation you shouldn’t even bothered with. But you were in love with him and you needed to be able to find it within yourself to not be in love with him anymore. You had to let him go. He wasn’t your husband he hadn’t been for a very long time and he wasn’t going to be ever again.

After everything had happened with Harry, you had asked Jeff if he was aware of any other positions you could take. You decided to leave Full Stop and head to New York and you got a job at a record label there.

It had been two years since you had left Los Angeles and you knew it was something that you had to do. You met this really awesome guy and you had been dating for the last six months. Harry was expecting a child with his wife and as much as it pained you, things were better off this way. You did what you had to do to be able to move on and finally let that part of your life go. You were happy and doing something for you for the first time in a long time. And that was something you were proud of.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry #harry styles series #harry one shot #harry styles angst #harry writing #one direction #one direction one shot

237 notes · View notes

somethingimnotembarassedbylater · 4 years ago

Text

academia

to be honest when i first heard the term dark academia i thought it cheapened the whole aesthetic but it’s a tumblr community that romanticizes one specific genre of media made about one particular time in history, so its not like it was the most untouchable thing to begin with, but if it exists ofcourse i’m into it.

i don’t know exactly when i first started watching things that subscribed to wearing tweed, classist university culture, and romantic literature but i remember finding this term when i was looking at things related to kill your darlings. its a good movie, not bad but the amount of fucking disappointment i felt after reading into who Allen Ginsberg really was, you have no idea. he’s known for being a pioneer for beat poetry and i think his contributions to the work are and should be appreciated but goddamn it, he was also a pedophile. what the fuck. i have yet to hear about one man, a single male, who is known for contributing to the art and history and is simultaneously not a disgusting piece of shit. how hard is it really? is it that hard to just, not be straight evil? BUT for all purposes of this i’m considering the character daniel radcliffe plays in the movie as completely removed from the real life inspiration and as a completely fictional man. i know you can never really separate the art from its origins completely and at the end of the day, the story is just a snapshot of a time in his life, but its not right glorifying him as a person knowing what his actions were. i don’t know how to separate the man from his actions because isn’t that who he is? i’m just gonna refer to the character as dan. dan was the nice boy who liked poems and fell in love with the cute troubled boy.

what i loved about kill your darlings and dead poets society and that one snk fic i read, is that they all kind of have common main elements. academic setting, love for the arts, a sense of adventure/murder/mystery, and they all follow protagonists that are insecure or unsure of themselves or naive, and they meet that one person who’s everything they’re not-the person that’s going to take their hand and lead them into a life that’s never going to be the same. its not just this, its also the visual aesthetics. they’re all in a place that bigger and outside their control. old buildings, wooden desks, exposed brick, hanging vines, beige trench coats, wool sweaters. plaid trousers. it’s also running through the rain, dimly lit by streetlights. brown tweed jackets, dress shoes. the inherent eroticism of cold fingers and colder gazes, dark candlelit rooms with ancient wood floors/walls. ofcourse that doesn’t capture it all but you get it.

ah to be the one yearning for your eccentric roommate who’s eyes light up when they’re passionate, for the one who wakes you up at 2 am to sneak out to see the stars, to explore the grounds, to break into the forbidden part of the building just to see what’s out there. to steal glances in class, to intertwine your legs under the library desks, to mysteriously wake up next to them in the morning. to understand each other, to linger a little too long when your fingers touch, to be completely lost in them. shit that makes you feel like love exists.

i think i find the romantic and aesthetic part of it most appealing. the academia i’ve spent my life participating in hasn’t ever had a focus on the arts. partly my fault, i’ll admit. i don’t think i ever gave it a chance. i don’t think i ever found it to be a defining part of my identity either. sure i’ll do all nighters to finish my assignments, sure i’ll do extra research on topics i find interesting, but nothing about the things i enjoy learning about has had me spending time inside a class and listening to my professor rant about something passionately. the closest i’ve gotten to this was a world issues class that had nothing to do with art or creation, but to do with social commentary. there’s not one person that i’ve met in my field of study that is passionate about their work, least of all me and i think because of the inflated and overly romantic view of academia i had, i’m disappointed. is this just real life for most people? i have to admit to myself that i’m most people? i have to accept that i’m just not destined for more? maybe if i followed through with applying for social work, maybe if i applied to public policy, maybe if i had some real passions that i was actually good at. i’m not saying i’m not a passionate person. i know i feel, and i feel a lot. i care about almost everything i encounter. i do want to spend my life doing. i want to help children in pakistan, i want to spend my time travelling every corner of the world, i want to get to know people, every kind of person that exists, and i want to know everything i possibly can. understand how the world works, how people think, how we can change, how we used to be, i want to spend my time listening and seeing. i think my want to create is less than my want to consume. maybe that’s selfish. maybe.

there’s a lot i can say about academic culture being elitist and exclusionary, about mainstream stories told solely through eurocentric male lenses, about only catering to a tiny demographic, but it never fails to make me want it anyway. the shallow, vapid, aesthetic focused part of it that exists on tumblr never fails to make me think a good turtle neck and trousers combo will make me happy either.

its a chilly june morning. i drank some tea and ate some leftover omlette. i hear pakistani news in the back, baba rattling his pill bottles, and the wind blowing outside. it’s a normal summer day.

3 notes · View notes

ipurpleyou1993 · 5 years ago

Text

My thoughts on:

Melting Me Softly

Starring: Ji Chang Wook/Won Jin-ah/Yoon Sae-ah

- For those who do not know, this series is Ji Chang Wook's comeback entry since his military service ended. So, safe to say, many have high hopes for the series. 😊

- How hard is it to lose the one you love - in this case, death? Bez, it's super hard.

This gets even harder when you do not have proof of their disappearance and ONLY ASSUME that you've lost them.

Imagine the pain of having to mourn a loved one that you are still hoping to find alive in the back of your heart and mind.

This may sound like a spoiler but I literally cried on the second episode. ANG SAKIT! 😭🥺🙈

- Family FIRST. We all love our family. I love how this series shows us that no matter our age, we will all still be someone's child and sibling. We protect and love our own. And we will do all things we can to support them.❤️

- Pateince is key. 💯 So for the pilot episode, I had so many questions in mind already. I found it very confusing. Although I have to admit, it will all make sense as the episodes progress. Hence the first sentence - PATIENCE IS KEY. 🙈🤣

The Gist:

The series is about two individuals who entered a cryonics experiment during the 1980s for a variety show.

It was intended to be a 24-hour experiment but due to unfortunate circumstances, they woke up 20 years after.

In total, there were 6 participants in the experiment. But only two agreed to show their face for the viewership of the variety show.

One of the two participants to to agree is Ma Dong Chan. He is the male lead in the story and is played by Ji Chang Wook

Ma Dong Chan is a renowned director during his time. He is known to have the golden touch for all the shows he directed turned out to be certified blockbusters. He participated in this program because he is the kind of director to do all-bizarre things to prove a point. He believes that it is possible to change the world through positive and innovative media platforms.

The second participant is Ko Mi Ran. She is the female lead in the story and is played by Won Jin Ah.

Ko Mi Ran is every woman out there - she does everything for her family. Especially for her special needs brother. The reason she participated in the experiment is for her brother. You'll find out more when you watch it. 😉

The story begins after they wake up 20 years post-freezing. In 2 decades, everyone and everything changed, though for the two of them, it was literally just yesterday.

See how they cope with the change and how things progress from there in the series. 💜

What I liked about the series:

- First of all, JI CHANG WOOK! ❤️ We all know that Ji Chang Wook is a certified OPPA. No questions asked. From Healer to The K2 to Empress Ki, he made us fall in love with him - ALL THE FREAKIN' WAY. 😍❤️😊

I love how Ji Chang Wook got the role of an angsty director this time. It suits him - with his charming looks and seductive charisma. 😉❤️😋 This just goes to show that due to his great acting skills, any role just works for the man.

In reference to his director role, I love how he always says (as Ma Dong Chan) that he became a variety show director to give the people something to look forward to amidst all the negativity the world brings.

And when asked: Why do you go extreme measures for a variety show?

He always answers: Because I have to do what others are afraid of doing to make a change.

You see? He gave inspiring a new meaning. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

But seriously tho, it's so hard not fall in love with JCW. He's just... well look at that 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

- This is my first encounter with Won Jin Ah. I've got to say, the image of a frail woman suits her. She's sooooooo thin - LITERALLY. Hahahaha! I think one strong wind blow can affect her balance. 🙈😂🤪 But I appreciated her acting. Good job, girl! 💯

I like her character's feistiness, tho. She looks frail but her will power is strong. She will do everything in her power to support her family. Isn't she all of us? Hahahaha! Go for #GirlPower! 💜👍🏻💯

- I love the friendship of Ko Mi Ran, Kyung Ja and Young Seon. Despite the 20 year hiatus on their friendship, they still managed to chat and bond as if it was just yesterday.

Don't we all wish we have this kind of relationship? One that can withstand long pauses and boys coming in between. #SANAALL 😊❤️👍🏻

- The chemistry. ❤️ I've read reviews saying that JCW and WJA lack the connection required to make a kilig series. But I saw the chemistry. There's just so much push-and-pull going on that it makes the heart cringe and wonder - ANO NA BA TALAGA?!?!

- THE KISSING SCENE THAT WAS THE TALK OF THE TOWN!!!

SPOILER ALERT!

Check out this link👇🏻👇🏻

https://youtu.be/zveSVEdFuyI

youtube

Now we all understand why it trended that time. Who wants to go next?? MEEEEEEEEE! 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

- I SUPER LOVE THE OST - BGM included. 💯👏🏻🎉 Tell Me, Please by Yeonjung is my personal pick! 😉😊👍🏻

As previously mentioned, I love all the music pieces included in the OST. They're all full of emotions suited for every scene it was played. Kudos to the music team of the series. Gujab! 👍🏻👏🏻🎉💯

I also liked the snippet of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You on the first episode (with Ko Mi Ran dancing in her PJ's). Hihi. ❤️😊💯

Link will be provided below for easier reference. 😊

- I love beautiful relationships between FAMILY. I liked how the family relations were displayed in the series - it was genuine and sincere. Makes you want to be a part of their family. 😊

- I love the comedy stint between Ma Dong Chan and his niece, Ma Seo Yoon.

In reality, it's actually rare for older people to listen to kids her age. But she is well-versed when it came to technological advances, what's in and what's not, and just LIFE in general. I found it funny because Ma Dong Chan actually listens to her and she MAKES A LOT OF SENSE - actually, she's MORE SENSIBLE than the adults in her home. 🤣🤣🤣

- I also liked the funny realization Young Seon had about her husband and son. This can be considered one of the best scenes in the series - for me at least. Hahahaha!

In reality (in the series), it is not intended to be funny. But it came across as funny to me because...well...20 years has passed and it is history repeating itself - literally. 🤣🤣🤣

Cons:

- Honestly? I found the beginning of the series very NOISY. All the shouting was literally banging my eardrums while watching. I almost skipped the first episode because of this. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Also, the first episode was trying to be funny - and when I say trying, it was very evident that they were trying. Good thing tho, Ji Chang Wook was able to comvince me to continue watching despite this. 💁🏻‍♀️

- The 20-year love story gap did not quite work for me. Was too awkward to watch. Personal opinion, tho. 💁🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

- The acting appears to be too theatrical for me. It's soooooo exaggerated especially with the scenes of Hyeon Gi and Hong Seok. 🙅🏻‍♀️

- The villain's existence is somewhat "short-lived" and all over the place.

You're kinda expecting a lot of action since the series progresses in such a way but then, it turns out to be a "meh" ending for the villain. Then, the continuation of the evilness seemed as though it was put there just for the sake of it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't want to compare, but I'm so used to korean villains who are so agitating that they make you cringe on so many levels.

Soundtrack:

Melting Me Softly OST Playlist

Just a bonus clip since I really loved the scene this was played in 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

https://youtu.be/AiIBKcd4m5Q

youtube

There goes my thoughts. Happy reading and watching! 💜

CTTO - Photos/GIFs/Music

#kdrama #kdrama review #Melting Me Softly #Melting Me Softly Review #Review #Ji Chang Wook #Ma Dong Chan #Won Jin Ah #Ko Mi Ran #Go Mi Ran

9 notes · View notes

rosecorcoranwrites · 5 years ago

Text

MacGuffins Matter

If you know what a MacGuffin is, you're probably thinking that they actually don't matter in the slightest and that I'm full of nonsense. If you don't know what a MacGuffin is, here's a definition from Merriam-Webster: an object, event, or character in a film or story that serves to set and keep the plot in motion despite usually lacking intrinsic importance. The most famous example is the Maltese Falcon, in the film of the same name. It sets the plot in motion, in that every character wants the statue for himself, but lacks intrinsic value in that "the Maltese Falcon" could be swapped out for the treasure of your choice: the Abyssinian Monkey, the Peruvian Chinchilla, the MacGuffian Beast.

Technically, a MacGuffin only lacks intrinsic value in the meta sense, as the characters themselves obviously want the object for some reason. The Harry Potter books, I think, are perfect examples of well-done MacGuffins (except the last book, but more on that later). The Philosopher's Stone in the first book is a powerful magic item that grants perpetual life, so it makes sense for it to be under lock and key, and for Voldemort to want it. In the meta-narrative, it's just an object that provides a mystery for Harry & Co. to investigate. Rowling does something similar with the horcruxes, which are vitally important to stopping Voldemort, ie, are a convenient way to provide a challenging search for our heroes in the final book.

And yet, many authors don't treat MacGuffins like they matter. Because I overanalyze every bit of media I consume, I've noticed two trends of late wherein MacGuffins are misused, and I'm here to tell you all why this is a problem.

The first trend is when the writers forget why the MacGuffin matters to the characters. This occurs when a plot revolving around a MacGuffin stops dead in its tracks, sometimes for chapters or episodes on end, for no discernible reason. Now, I can give some leeway to dawdling around in comedies, since their purpose is to provide laughs rather than tension. In Slayers Next, for example, the characters are looking for the Claire Bible, a MacGuffin of untold power, but spend 90% of the plot derping around getting into ridiculous situations. To be fair, most of these situations are, in fact, because they are looking for the Claire Bible but keep getting false leads. The only arc where they actually stay in one place for multiple episodes is when they learn that the father of one of the characters has been assassinated and have to investigate. Notice, something intrinsically important—solving the murder of an important character—briefly takes precedence over finding the non-intrinsically important plot device. This diversion works, first, because the diversion is deeply personal and, second, because finding the MacGuffin is not time sensitive, as far as the characters know.

On the other hand, you have Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, where the characters camp in the woods for-seemingly-ever. This isn't a comedy, and what's more, lives are at stake. Every minute that Voldemort isn't killed is a chance for him and the Death Eaters to murder muggles and muggleborns. Yet, we the audience are treated to five million chapters (perhaps I exaggerate) of the characters sitting around wondering what to do next. What's even more frustrating is that the non-camping-in-the-woods parts of that book are so interesting: infiltrating the Ministry of Magic, escaping Malfoy Manor, breaking into Gringotts, returning to Hogwarts. I will be the first to say that a story needs downtime as well as action, but the chapters in the woods felt not like downtime, but wasted time: we learned that Ron has feelings of inadequacy, as well as a strong loyalty to his family, which we already knew; we learn that Harry is willing to brave freezing water to get important stuff, which we already knew; we learn, retroactively, that Snape's patronus is a doe because he loved Lily, which... Wait, why would he associate her with the female version of the animal her husband turns into? As usual, I digress...

Anyway, these chapters make the plot stop dead, making us wonder why the characters aren't doing more to find the horcruxes. They know some of the horcruxes are associated with the Hogwarts founders, so why not seek out a historian? They know they need some serious power to destroy them, so why not seek out a powerful wizard? Why not do something? You could easily argue that they were trying, but I'm not blaming the characters, I'm blaming the writer. She gave us these MacGuffins, but rather than use them to drive the plot, she lets the plot slowly, agonizingly crawl forward due to happenstance. The characters happen to overhear that the sword in Lestrange's vault was a fake, and then they happen to have the real one delivered right to them. Harry happens to be correct in his unsubstatiated theory that Helga Hufflepuff's cup might actually be in the vault, and then they happen to fly to Hogwarts where it just so happens that a ghost knows where the diadem is. Although they do take action once they know where a Horcrux is, they do nothing to actually try and find out where they are. Voldemort showing up at he end with Nagini in tow, by this point, is a convenience rather than a threat, because they don't have to bother finding him!

A more recent example is in Tangled: The Series, season two. The characters have a MacGuffin: nigh-unbreakable black rocks that are spreading across the land and that have a magical connection to the flower that saved Rapunzel's mom during childbirth. The characters are questing to find out what, exactly, these black rocks are all about. Much like Slayers, the series is rather lighthearted and episodic, so it's okay for them to take random side adventures here and there, since they are traveling and thus encountering various people and creatures. What is not okay is for them to get shipwrecked and stranded on a island for three episodes! The writers chose to do this, chose to have the characters stay in one spot rather than journey toward their goal. Like the horcruxes in Harry Potter, the black rocks are somewhat time sensitive, as they've eaten up swaths of land that people need for farming and living and whatnot. There is also a certain side character who shall remain nameless (no spoilers; watch the series!) who very much needs them to figure out how to undo the damage the rocks have done, ASAP. Dropping the main characters on the island makes it seem as if the writers forgot that all those people affected by the rocks exist. Yes, technically the MacGuffin doesn't have intrinsic value—they could be purple rocks or black thorns or whatever—but whatever they are, they do have value to the characters in that there is a pressing mystery to be solved.

And that is why dawdling in a MacGuffin-based story is so frustrating. The MacGuffin spurs the plot; forgetting about the MacGuffin stalls the plot. Worse, it erases the value the characters put on the MacGuffin, which undercuts the realism of the story and, at times, can make the characters seem not fully invested in whatever their mission is. The only thing that should divert the characters from this mission is something even more urgent that, in the best case scenario, in some way will end up relating to or enhancing the plot.

Worse than stalling, however, is adding more MacGuffins before the first ones are dealt with. Again, we can look at Deathly Hallows. In each of the first six books of the series, a MacGuffin of one sort or another is introduced and then found by the end of the book. Book six, along with establishing and then revealing the identity of the Half-Blood Prince, also introduces the concept of horcruxes. Ah, thinks the audience, so these will be the five MacGuffins that Harry is looking for in the last book (as two of the seven have already been destroyed). But alas! In the final volume, we are introduced to three extra MacGuffins: the Deathly Hallows, in the form of Harry's invisibility cloak, the stone in Marvolo's ring, and the most MacGuffiny of all, the Elder Wand. Despite the fact that the horcruxes are a rather pressing matter, much story time is spent discussing the Deathly Hallows, their origin, Dumbledore's and Grindlewald's connection to them, the fact that the ring shows you wraiths that entice you to throw your life away, how Voldemort wants the Elder Wand but Harry's actually the master of it, and other things which completely divert from the actual plot of the book.

I'll come right out and say it: nothing about the Deathly Hallows actually adds to the story. In fact, I argue that they detracts from the message of the series as a whole. Is love the ultimate weapon against evil? Nope, you just need to become master of the Elder Wand! Is a focus on blood lineage a bunch of hokum? Not at all, because Harry and Voldemort are secretly related to the three brothers! But I digress once again.

The main reason Rowling should not have introduced these three MacGuffins was that she already had five, which get left by the wayside due to so much focus on the Hallows. Let me rephrase that: the reason she should not have introduced this new plot line was she already had a complicated plot line that gets diverted by this new addition. Chapters that could be used by our heroes to look for horcruxes are spent focusing on who is currently in charge of the Elder Wand. It's like the author is saying, "Yeah, I introduced a prophecy regarding Harry, and the idea that love is more powerful than magic, and that you have to slowly destroy Voldemort one piece at a time, but all that is boring. Here's a one-hit-one-kill-wonder weapon. Wouldn't you rather read about that?" Maybe I would, if that was what was introduced as the means of ending Voldemort. But it wasn't. Horcruxes were. Focus, Rowling, focus!

Lest you think I'm only picking on Harry Potter (I really do like the series, I promise!), lets take a look at another story with far too many MacGuffins: RWBY. The first several seasons of the show were pretty low-key fantasy school type plots, with magical fighting thrown in. We were introduced to our first set of MacGuffins in season three, in the form of the four maidens: Spring, Winter, Summer, and Fall. At the end of the season, the spirit of the Fall Maiden was transferred to a new host, leaving us to assume that in subsequent seasons we might be introduced to the other three maidens, who the good guys and the bad guys want for... reasons? It's a little vague, but still intriguing. We meet one of the other maidens in season five and it looks like we might be on our way to—Oh, just kidding; she leaves the show and our heroes and villains have a new MacGuffin that they want: four relics that are housed under the four schools. So they coincide with the maidens? No? O-okay, well, I guess in the next seasons, they'll be looking for the maidens and the relics, and—Nope! Gods! There are two Manichean gods who destroyed the world and will destroy it again if the relics are brought together and humanity is still fighting, so that's why the good guys are gathering them... during a war? What? Wait, where are the maidens? Where is the plot? What's happening? A lot of viewers jumped ship at this point, and although I'm going to stick with the show (I have a high nonsense threshold), I don't blame them. It's gone off the rails. We don't know what the characters want, other than the relics, but we don't really know why they want them, since, as long as the relics aren't brought together, everything is hunky dory. Truly, truly, I do not know what the writers were thinking introducing so many plot lines. The Maiden MacGuffins were driving the plot, but by introducing the Relic MacGuffins, it necessarily diverts the plot elsewhere.

One final clarification: I'm not saying that a story can't have multiple plot lines. I love stories where each character wants something different, and thus leads the narrative in different directions. What I'm against is letting any of those storylines die on the vine, which is what happens when MacGuffins are forgotten and characters either sit around not going after them or run off after new ones. This makes the audience assume that the MacGuffin isn't important to the characters, that it has no intrinsic or narrative value, and that it doesn't matter. What writers need to ask themselves is, if it's that unimportant to characters and doesn't drive the plot, why include it to begin with?

12 notes · View notes

power-of-ages-writeblr · 5 years ago

Text

11/11/11 Tag (22/11/11? Tag?)

Another one of these! This time, I was tagged TWICE by the wonderful @sassypandacandy (go read her books,, i love them). I’ve gotta answer the questions, come up with my OWN questions, and then tag 11 people to answer, only I’m not going to tag eleven people because I still don’t think I quite KNOW eleven people yet. Also, because I got tagged twice with two different sets of questions, I’m going to answer both sets in one post, and then just come up with eleven questions of my own, because it takes me yonks to come up with questions and I’m lazy. Eso si que es, y’know?

What’s the first thing you remember writing?

A four-page story about a Diplodocus when I was… definitely before I was ten years old. Maybe like five or six. I was very proud of it.

What’s the last thing you wrote purely for yourself?

Actually, I pretty much always write for myself, so the last thing that I wrote/started to write… ooh-er. That’d be the Warrior Cats fanfiction I’ve been working on. :P

Are you a WIP playlist person or a WIP aesthetics person?

Playlist, probably. I tend not to make playlists specifically for WIPs – instead, I’ll assign songs and soundtracks to specific characters and scenes – but I’m still better at throwing together playlists then making aesthetics LMAO

What’s a book you wish you’d written?

Uuuuh… maybe it’s just because I’m young (barely an adult), but I don’t have anything where it’s like “ah I wish I’d used that idea” or “wish I’d written this book”. I still have a lot of writing ahead of me, hopefully, so all my ideas I hope to actually get out some day. (Assuming that’s,,, what the question is asking me)

What’s your favourite book adaptation?

Ironic because it doesn’t follow the books that closely, but I love the How To Train Your Dragon films very much.

Which of your characters would you like to have a conversation with? What would you like to talk about?

The downside to Pandemonium’s Bane being filled with eccentric personalities and cooky characters means that there’s actually few of them I’d LIKE to have a conversation with, because most would be too dickish or too annoying for my tastes xDD That being said, I think me and Plue are on very similar wavelengths, and we have a lot in common (such as both of us wanting to write), so I wouldn’t mind chatting with her for a bit if I had to.

Which of your WIP worlds would you most like to live in?

The Power of Ages stories are mostly set in one universe (the Nimbus System) so I guess I’d have to go with that one by default. There’s Neil’s dimension, I guess, but it’s destroyed, so…

Have you ever written anything inspired purely by a song? If so, what song was it?

I haven’t written anything inspired just by a single song, but I HAVE got certain scenes or character backstories based off of songs, or even the concepts they’re based around. I have a whole battle between brothers planned out to the soundtrack that plays when Shifu fights Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda, and listening to the Iron Man soundtracks helped me with both the conception of a new character and her placement in my roster (and yes, she does invent things and fly around, although there are also some major differences)

Have you ever written poetry? Do you still? Why or why not?

I… haven’t written poetry. And the reason for that is… I mean, I guess it doesn’t really jibe with me? Granted I haven’t considered it heavily, but it was always my least favourite aspect of learning English at school, and I just never fell in love with it the same way I fell in love with writing conventional narratives.

Who would direct an adaptation of your writing?

I ain’t big on directors, so IDEK. I guess in terms of the rewrite of Maelstrom (my current main WIP) I’d pick Sam Raimi, who proved with his Spider-Man films that he can blend fun superhero narratives with slightly darker elements pretty well.

How do you motivate yourself when you don’t feel like writing?

Mainly by having multiple projects to work on! That way, if I ain’t feeling what I’m working on, I can switch over to another one, and bingo bango, I can keep writing. (Hypothetically. Sometimes it ain’t that simple, obviously.) I also use music, and I also take advantage of being in situations where it’s like, I’d rather write then do the alternative. Do you know how much writing I got done in lessons? So much. :P

What scenes are the worst to write?

The ones that I haven’t planned out – sometimes I have very specific ideas for how I want scenes to happen, and I’m excited to get to them, but other times they’re just obligatory because there’s certain information I have to convey. That makes it a challenge to write it in a compelling way, because why should the reader care if I don’t?

What can you say is a thing you love most about your writing?

I’d say I like the dialogue/character interplay/narrative description-y sort of stuff. I think I’m good at giving everything levity, and keeping it breezy and entertaining even if I myself find the writing process to be a bit of a slog. Plus, it’s funny to read back over, and it’s also funny to watch my discord quote a line and then keysmash at it. :P

What is writing advice that you take to heart?

It’s from Aaron Sorkin’s writing masterclass – the idea that a story is defined by the main character’s INTENTION, the OBSTACLE facing them, and the TACTICS they use to overcome it.

How do you keep yourself from quitting writing together?

Honestly, it’s not like I have to try that hard! By this point I’m desperate to tell these stories that I have in mind, so I have a sort of innate compulsion to write because I wanna get it all out there. I’ll get back to you if that compulsion runs out, but for now, I see myself writing long into the future.

What is the strangest thing you’ve searched up on the internet for writing purposes?

Probably the capabilities of medieval-era people to recognise nuclear technology. (And for the record, the answer is “pretty low”.)

Not a question, but shoutout a writeblr (or multiple) that you think needs to hear that they are awesome and doing a great job (by the way everyone, you all are awesome and doing a great job. Keep it up.)

Well obviously I’m gonna shout out the person who tagged me in the first place – Kels. I await the final(?) book in the DOOT series with great anticipation.

Your OCs are trapped on a deserted island, what would they be doing?

I WANNA say they’d try and work as a team, but, uh. It may not go so well. Dante and Plue would probably be the most practical. Gaia would be good at grunt work but not focus on the task at hand, Rose would be functionally useless but good at moral support, Jacen would try to organise things but Gaia would just push him in the sea for jokes… I reckon they’d escape eventually, I suppose, but it wouldn’t exactly be a clean-cut affair, you know? xD

What is your biggest inspiration for your WIPs?

I actually have various inspirations – I think collectively my biggest inspiration is the MCU, in that it’s a bunch of interconnected stories set in the same universe about different characters and also there are superpowers. xDD

A habit you have when it comes to writing?

Not doing it (thank you writer’s block)

A fact about your world and/or characters?

I have debated killing of MANY of my characters, but have only actually come to concrete decisions one way or the other with a few.

If your WIP/s got turned into a movie or series, what would be the quote on the promotional poster or trailer?

Oh, I’m gonna do this for ALL the WIPs, this seems fun!

Of Encounters and Trysts – Two Hearts, One Soul (or something equally cheesy)

Hit and Run – Even the indomitable aren’t invincible

Maelstrom – Destiny Begins

The Destroyer of Worlds – One Case, One Team, One Superpower

Survivor – It’s every man for themselves

Savants – Not so different

Omnia Vincit Amor – Good things come to those who get traumatised

Cometh the Hour – Six thousand years from home

Alright, now it’s (finally!) time for my eleven questiones:

1 – Does music help you write, or does it just distract you?

2 – What’s your favourite writing tool? A laptop? Notepad and pens? Quills and inkpot?

3 – Do you have to physically go to places to get a feel for them and feel as though you can set writing in them?

4 – What got you into writeblr?

5 – How well can your OCs dance, do you think?

6 – Do you have a favourite writing snack? If so, what is it?

7 – Bionicle. Thoughts?

8 – Is there a specific piece of media (movie, show, book, w/e) that you could say has been more of an inspiration to you than anything else?

9 – What’s the best soundtrack you know for getting pumped and hyped up?

10 – If you could only write one genre for the rest of your writing career, what would you go with?

11 – What’s your favourite music-based meme? (Examples include “LET’S GO”, “CREEPER/AWW MAN” and “We Are Number One But ___”)

Tagging… @thelimeonade, and @dawnuchiha!

#Not Power of Ages #Tag Game #11/11/11 tag #these questions are always fun to answer!!!

2 notes · View notes

degenerate-perturbation · 5 years ago

Link

Relationships: Female Amell/Female Surana Characters: Female Amell, Female Surana, Anders, Velanna, Nathaniel Howe Series: Part 2 of void and light, blood and spirit - It is not necessary to read part one but I would love it if you did.

Amell and Surana are out of the Circle, and are now free to build a life together. But when the prison doors fly open, what do you have in common with the one who was shackled next to you? What do you have in common, save for the chains that bound you both?

I dare you to drink it, Yvanne had said, grinning crookedly.

Don’t be ridiculous, Loriel had replied, and she’d thought she’d put the vial back on the table, but now here it was, still in her pocket. She must have slipped it there without thinking. The glass was warm against her fingers, and for the life of her, she could not remember taking it.

“As far as the usual fiascos go, I think this was one of our more successful,” said Yvanne, taking a seat by the fire and slinging a casual arm around her.

Loriel quickly let go of the vial, clasping her hands in her lap. “What do you mean?”

“Levi’s happy, veil’s fixed, no demons running about, and we have a pet evil blood mage now. I think we can pat each other soundly on the back, don’t you?”

“Oh, don’t bring him up, please,” Loriel fretted. After a pause, she went on, “Do you think I did the right thing?”

“Of course you did the right thing,” Yvanne said, rolling her eyes. “You always do the right thing, even when it’s bloody inconvenient for everyone around you. Look at you, showing mercy to war criminals and evil blood mages. You’ll be making nice with the darkspawn next.”

“Oh, don’t.” Avernus was evil, wasn’t he? What more, he was the problem. Because of men like him the people feared mages. Because of men like him, women like them were locked away like animals. Because of men like him they’d never be truly free. If she’d been as good a mage—as good a Warden—as she purported to be, she would have struck him down.

But she had let him live.

Had let him keep working, even.

“Sorry. I’ll stop.”

“I didn’t even do it out of mercy,” Loriel said quickly, before she let herself believe otherwise. “That had nothing to do with it.”

Yvanne raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I...” Loriel faltered, feeling the weight of the vial in her pocket. “I did it because I was curious. To see what he would find, if he kept going. He’d already done so much harm, why let it go to waste? And I was curious. That was why.”

Yvanne sighed and brushed her cheek with her thumb, shaking her head only slightly. “Oh, my dear. Oh, beloved. You’re going to have to face the truth someday, you know. You’re going to have to accept that you’re a good person.” And she said it with such honest true conviction that Loriel not only wanted to believe it, she wanted to make it true. She wanted to be everything Yvanne thought she was, kind and luminous, stepping only in sunlight, thinking only of goodness.

“Come here,” she mumbled.

Soldier’s Peak had only been the last of a long series of Warden-related journeys. After the Blight, the plan had been to rent a room in Denerim, some place with a nice kitchen and a huge bed, and just live for a while. They’d finally learn how to cook. They’d read every interesting book they’d come across. They’d explore the city, the country, the world.

But it never seemed to turn out that way. They didn’t know how to just live, after so many years of merely surviving. Loriel couldn’t seem to focus on any book she bought, and all her attempts at cooking ended in acrid smoke and frustration.

They had each other, of course, and Maker, what a miracle it was, to have each other. But they were play-acting their notion of a normal life, not living one. It was as though the sun had blinded them. A bright dream, but a confused dream, an aimless dream. Loriel had no idea what to do with herself.

So when the petitioners for her attention came flooding in, she threw herself upon their mercies in relief. There was always somebody who needed the Warden—not any Warden, but the Warden, the only one worth mentioning these days—and so they often paid their rent in vain, and their room in Denerim accrued more and more dust.

Yvanne seemed glad of it, at least. If Loriel was aimless, Yvanne was restless. She paced, and parked herself out on the balcony or the roof whenever she could, even when it was raining. It was the walls, she said. She couldn’t stand the walls. Keeping herself moving was better.

As for Loriel, a part of her longed for walls, but more truly she longed to again be the type of person who was content with walls. That girl was lost to her now. Someday she’d be ready to bury her.

“Listen,” Loriel murmured, breaking away, “How about we finally take that vacation? We’ve been discussing it for long enough.”

Yvanne's lips quirked. “Aren’t we on vacation now?”

“I believe what we are doing now may qualify as gainful employment.”

“Ah, well, could have fooled me. These little excursions of ours are so relaxing.” She tilted her head. “Where were you thinking?”

They discussed the sunny docks of Antiva, the jungles of Seheron, the grandeur of Val Royeaux. Yvanne carefully did not suggest seeking Loriel’s family in Highever. Loriel carefully did not suggest seeking Yvanne’s father and sisters. They'd go somewhere where nobody knew them, somewhere nice. They’d hear the rustle of the trees without watching their backs for werewolves. They’d see mountains without wading through hordes of dragon cultists. They’d walk barefoot on a beach, watching the waves crash on the shore, until all of this was behind them, and something new appeared on the horizon.

But when they returned to Denerim, there was a missive from Weisshaupt waiting, requiring a Warden-Commander at Vigil’s Keep, and thoughts of vacation were postponed indefinitely.

Mhairi, the Grey Warden recruit, met them at the gate for the journey to Vigil’s Keep. That made Yvanne grumble. She’d been anticipating privacy along their journey, privacy denied them along the road to Soldier’s Peak and back, privacy denied them for nearly all their lives.

The recruit was eager, at least. She saw them coming long before they could have reasonably greeted her, and as soon as they were close enough, bent excitably at the waist. “Warden-Commander!” she exclaimed, addressing Yvanne.

Loriel laughed a bit behind her hand. “Wrong Warden," Yvanne said sourly.

Loriel had convinced Yvanne into the Grey Warden armor she'd rarely bothered to wear, for decorum's sake. A handful of months ago, she never would have agreed. Now she consented with only cursory grumbling. Normally, she wore whatever mismatched ill-fitting pieces of clothing she happened to like even a little bit, complemented with several pounds of the tackiest jewelry she could get her hands on. She was leaving almost all of it behind. That was one element of cloistered life she couldn't seem to shake; the notion of holding on to possessions still made her nervous, as though she might get in trouble for hoarding contraband.

So the Warden armor had the effect of making her look significantly more regal and commanding than she'd ever looked in her life.

The young woman’s awestruck gaze shifted to Loriel. “Oh, I—I hadn’t realized you were an elf.”

“That’s alright,” Loriel said, though that seemed strange. Surely it was known that the Hero of Ferelden was an elf? But then again, next to Yvanne, who could possibly think her to be the Grey Warden? “You know, Yvanne, if you would prefer to take the role of Warden-Commander, I’m sure you would do—”

Yvanne cackled. “Absolutely not.”

“Forgive me. I meant no offense.” Mhairi looked at Yvanne some more. “If you are not the Hero, then you are…?”

“Minding my business,” Yvanne snapped. “And you should mind yours. And show some respect while you’re at it.”

Mhairi snapped into a smart salute. “Of course, ser.”

At least Yvanne seemed to enjoy making Mhairi salute and ingratiate herself at every drop of a hat. And Mhairi wasn’t the only one, either. It would be several more encounters before Yvanne was no longer mistaken for the new Warden-Commander by everyone she met.

It made sense, after all. A tall dark human woman, of beauty and strength, compared to slight, gawky elf. It was to be expected.

“You know,” said Loriel, when they were beginning to near the Keep, “I think this might be just what we need.”

“More work?” Yvanne said sardonically. “More Warden stuff?”

“I mean, a chance to really settle down. A chance to build something. Maybe we can make it ours, even if it is Warden stuff. I mean, it’s not like we can get out of being Wardens. But a home sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

“Right,” Yvanne said. “You know how much I love things I can’t get out of.”

Loriel looked stricken. “Well, it’s not exactly a little cottage in the woods, but, well…just think about it. If we hate it, I promise we really will run away into the wilderness this time, and never be seen again.”

Yvanne smiled, and didn’t call out the lie. Loriel would stay for as long as the Wardens needed her, even and especially if she hated it. Yvanne knew that, and Loriel knew that, and felt a burst of gratitude that she wasn’t going to bring it up.

Sometimes it crashed upon her all over again, that this was real, really actually real, she and Yvanne were together, they loved each other, and even if things weren’t perfect, they were good. She had this. She really had this.

“At least it will be nice and boring,” Yvanne said. “I could stand for some boring.”

After they had slain the darkspawn in the courtyard and the last ogre lay polluting the front steps with its excessive bleeding, they proceeded inside.

“I’m sorry,” Loriel fretted. “This isn’t going at all how I thought it would go.”

“It’s fine,” said Yvanne. “I didn’t actually want boring. I hate boring, you’re the one that likes it when things are boring. This is much better.”

“Is that really true?” Loriel said doubtfully.

“That’s right,” said Yvanne. “I was being sarcastic. You know how I am with my sarcasm. Don’t be dense.”

“I’m not being dense. You can’t blame me for wanting you to be happy.”

“I’m always happy. I’ve got you, haven’t I?”

That kind of thing still made Loriel grin like an idiot, and nearly caused her to miss the trio of shrieks emerging at the shadows to try and claw her face off, and which would nearly have succeeded did they not fall immolated to the ground a moment later.

Anders, of all possibly people, stood behind it, shaking his fingers to cool them off. He looked up, and saw them, and froze. “I didn’t do it,” he said.

Yvanne looked at him. She opened her mouth. They’d barely spoken in years. Not since before solitary. She last remembered him brushing past her in anger in shame, shortly before his most recent escape. She realized uncomfortably that she’d barely thought of him since her recruitment. He seemed part of another life entirely, and now here he was.

Loriel glanced between the two of them, wondering how long this awkward silence would stretch on.

Then it broke, and they both grinned. “You huge idiot,” Yvanne said. And if the hug she gave him, augmented with arcane warrior power, was more bone-crushing than was strictly necessary, then that was her own business, and no more than what he deserved.

Suddenly it was like no time had passed at all, and they were trading ribs and jokes like nothing had changed.

“So,” he said as they headed up the stairs, “what did I miss? Clearly I’ve missed something. You two are Grey Wardens now?”

“We-ell,” said Yvanne, felling a Hurlock, “Loriel slew an archdemon, and now they’re making her the Warden-Commander. Jowan’s a blood mage, and he’s on the run now after becoming a traitor to the realm. We helped him escape by dealing with a demon. Also, we put a friend of ours on the throne of Ferelden, and then we made him sire a demon baby with a swamp witch, and now he’s not speaking to us. So you didn’t miss that much, really.”

“Yvanne,” Loriel hissed. “Not in front of—” She jerked her head towards Mhairi, but she was pointedly, politely ignoring everything they were saying. And anyway, Yvanne figured, Loriel was the Warden-Commander now. Who cared what anyone heard?

Anders paused. “Is this one of those two-truths-and-a-lie games, and I have to guess which was the lie? Because telling three lies in those games is called cheating, Yvanne, and cheating is wrong.”

“My moral compass is poorly calibrated,” Yvanne said. “Didn’t I just tell you all about the demon baby?”

Anders shook his head. “Sure, whatever. Anyway, that’s not what I meant by if I’d missed anything. I meant the important thing. Are you two fucking yet?”

Loriel flushed instantly scarlet. “Is this—is this about that stupid bet? Because Jowan asked me that, too, and—”

“So you’re not,” Anders said, disappointed. “Alright, then, completely independent of the ten silver I have riding on this outcome, as Yvanne’s good friend, I have to intervene. The whole tower has been watching you two dance around each other for long enough, and it is my duty—nay, my calling— as a friend and a medical professional to inform you both that you must fuck. Everyone can see it. Everyone knows it. Why, it’s plain as day. No two mages have ever been so obviously, painfully drawn to each other in the entire history of Thedas, so really, why deny the inevitable? Why deny your feelings?”

Yvanne let him carry on in that vein for nearly five whole minutes before Loriel lost her patience and told him.

The Templar was still talking, carrying on as though she had every right, and suddenly Loriel couldn’t stand it anymore.

“No,” she said. Every head snapped towards her. Anders, already hunched in bitter defeat, among them.

She didn’t know what had shaken her more—the arrival of Alistair, or of the Templars. Both of them together were enough to render her nearly mute, leaving Yvanne, who wasn’t even the Warden-Commander, to do all the talking, even as Alistair stubbornly tried to hold this conversation without ever directly addressing her or even acknowledging Loriel’s presence.

And then the Templar—her name was Rylock, Loriel remembered, she’d been a crofter’s daughter before joining the Order, she remembered her as she remembered every little detail of their jailer’s lives—muscled her way past the king, and Yvanne’s whole posture changed. She stumbled over her next word. She’d gone from brazenly confident and self-assured to childishly defiant. This woman Rylock claimed that Anders was a murderer, from nowhere and nothing, and Yvanne was already on the defensive. Anders himself was resigning him to recapture before her eyes.

“You can’t just do that,” Yvanne had said, and Loriel found herself again in the Arl’s chamber, a year younger, about to go from merely a theoretical blood mage to a real one. “Alistair—you boneheaded fool, stop ignoring me. Tell her she can’t do that.”

“How dare you speak to the king like that?” Rylock said, her hawkish eyes narrowing on her. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten you, Amell. You’re a troublemaker, and you will get what you deserve, sooner or later.”

Yvanne’s knuckles were white on her blackwood staff. “You—you can’t do that,” she repeated, and it was almost a whine.

Alistair shrugged, looking very interested in a nearby birch tree. “I’m afraid that she can, unfortunately.” He had the decency to look a little sorry for it, but not enough, never enough. And Rylock had started to say something else—

And Loriel said, “No.” It was the first time she’d spoken during the course of the whole conversation, and all eyes turned to her.

“No,” she repeated. “She can’t do that.” And then she realized, she’d have to follow through on it. Rylock couldn’t just take Anders like that, of course she couldn’t, but why couldn’t she? What authority had Loriel—

“Because I am the Warden-Commander of the Grey Wardens of Ferelden,” she heard herself say, “and I am invoking the Rite of Conscription. This man belongs to the Wardens now, and his fate is not under your jurisdiction.”

“What?!” Rylock half-barked. Surely she remembered Loriel, too, how quiet she’d been. Loriel recalled the woman had been kind enough to her. At least, not cruel.

Rylock rounded on the king. “Your majesty, surely you won’t allow this.”

Loriel’s big black eyes bored into him. He hadn’t looked at her yet, and it seemed that he wouldn’t. If you ruin this, she thought, king or not, friend or not, I will end you. I will find a way to end you. Would Alistair let an innocent man hang out of bitterness towards her? Was he so petty? Then she remembered Loghain and the Landsmeet and realized, coolly, that he was—at least that he could be. And then she thought, how easy it had been to take control of his mind once before, how easy it might be to do it again, if she only just reached out and—

“She is Warden-Commander,” Alistair said grudgingly, before she could finish that traitorous thought. “I’ll allow it.”

“What—but—very well.” Rylock jerked her chin up and straightened. “I suppose if you think it best, Your Majesty.” She turned on her heel and was gone faster than Loriel could possibly have hoped, taking her men with her. Alistair made a few more monarchical noises, and was gone a few minutes later. Loriel was left in her darkspawn corpse-littered courtyard, a small gaggle of new recruits on her hands.

“How about that?” Anders was saying, almost laughing in disbelief. “Me, a Grey Warden.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Yvanne was scoffing, “The initial hazing can be a real killer.” Oghren was slapping both of them on the back and roaring with laughter. All of it sounded far away. Loriel’s blood was rushing in her ears. She’d told a Templar no, and the Templar had listened. She’d had to listen. Loriel had made her listen.

Just as she and Yvanne had made Alistair listen, the night before the Battle of Denerim.

Loriel started towards the Keep, dazed. Yvanne followed, electrified. “That was amazing,” she was saying. “You really did that! You flicked Rylock away like an annoying gnat. You’re fulfilling so many of my dearest dreams these days. Like that thing you do with the candle wax—oh, hello Seneschal Varel.”

The Seneschal she’d somehow acquired was telling her something, and she had no idea what it was. Something about the Joining, something about a prisoner in the dungeons. She maintained her smile-and-nod protocol, which didn’t seem to quite satisfy him. He tried Yvanne instead, who was significantly more disagreeable, but responded in full sentences and had actual orders to issue. Within moments he’d poached Yvanne and Loriel was left standing in the courtyard alone.

She’d liked the part where she told a Templar no, and the Templar had gone away. What she didn’t like was just how much she liked it.

A hand fell on her shoulder. Loriel jerked away, but it was only Anders. She wished he wouldn’t look so grateful. There wasn’t anything to be grateful for.

“Hey,” he said. “I just wanted to thank you for that. Got to admit, it nearly shocked the robes right off me. Imagine that, little Loriel Surana mouthing off to a Templar, hey? Life’s full of surprises.”

“I wasn’t mouthing off,” Loriel mumbled. “You mouth off. Yvanne mouths off. I don’t mouth off.”

“Right, right. You just issue commands, like they used to do to us. But not anymore, eh? Hah, and here I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I don’t like you,” Loriel said, and she didn’t, but she suddenly realized that she didn’t remember why. She just knew she never had. “But you don’t deserve to hang. And you don’t deserve to…to have to go back.”

“Well, anyway.” He shuffled his feet. “Thanks. I mean it. Hey, it might even be fun. If Jowan were here it’d be a right little reunion tour. Maybe we should track him down, seeing as he’s a blood mage on the loose, and all that. Apparently.”

“Just try not to die,” she said, wondering if that were really possible, if Jowan was still out there, if he was okay. “Yvanne will be sad if you die, so you better not do it.”

He snapped a salute. “I’ll do my level best, Commander.”

Anders didn’t die. Neither did Oghren. But Mhairi did. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and black blood came out of her mouth and spilled over her chin, and she fell, and lay twitching on the ground, and then she died.

They burned her body that night, the same night they disposed of the darkspawn corpses. Yvanne watched for as long as she could stomach it, but when the smell of burning flesh mixed with taint filled the air inescapably, she fled without a word.

Loriel finished overseeing the funeral alone, and when the first possible opportunity presented itself, she went to go look for Yvanne.

She found her on the balcony, gripping the stone balustrade. She didn’t react when Loriel approached.

“Are you alright?” she said, perfunctorily.

“Me? I’m wonderful. I’m amazing.” Yvanne bent further in on herself. Loriel couldn’t see her face. She waited.

“I just,” Yvanne said finally, “She shouldn’t have died. That was wrong.”

“I didn’t think you liked Mhairi much.”

“Liked? Who gives a shit if I liked her? She’s dead.”

“I know,” Loriel said. “I watched her burn to ash.” She paused, then added reproachfully, “You could have been there. I didn’t want to have to do that alone.”

“And I didn’t want any of this!” snapped Yvanne. “I didn’t want to be a Warden. I didn’t want to watch a woman choke on darkspawn blood and die. I didn’t want to watch her blighted corpse burned along with the darkspawn.”

“You think I wanted it?” Loriel said quietly.

No, she hadn’t wanted it. But she hadn’t chosen anything else about her life, either.

“I just hate that,” said Yvanne, inhaling sharply. “I hate everything about this. I hate how we’re still prisoners, of a different kind. I hate how we’re never going to get away from this.”

Loriel went to her, taking her cold hand and leaning against her shoulder. “Look,” she said. “I know this isn’t...ideal. But it’s what we have. Can’t we at least try to make some kind of life here?”

“I don’t know. Can we?” Yvanne said dryly.

Could they? thought Loriel. Maker, she hoped so. She didn’t know what she’d do if they couldn’t.

“If we end up hating it, I promise we can run away,” said Loriel. “We can live in the woods. Where we’ll both starve to death, because neither of us can cook, let alone hunt and forage, but we’ll do it on our own terms, together. Does that sound okay?”

Yvanne sniffed, letting out an unsteady breath. “It sounds better.” She swiped at her eyes. “Maker, we’d be hopeless. I could burn water.”

“There you go.”

They leaned on each other, watching the stars, trying to forget the lingering smell of burning flesh.

“I’ll work on this Blight thing, okay?” Loriel said eventually.

Yvanne turned a skeptical eye on her. “How are you going to do that?”

“I don’t know yet. But I have ideas.”

A snort, a smile. “And that would be perfectly in character for you, wouldn’t it?”

She squeezed her hand.

“I guess I could replace the curtains,” Yvanne sniffed. “Have you seen them? They’re hideous.”

Loriel smiled. “Forget the curtains. Have you seen the bed in the Warden Commander’s quarters? It’s enormous.”

#dragon age #dragon age: awakening #amell #surana #femslash #well uh. guess im going to go ahead and start posting this.

1 note · View note