#me when unrequited love 😈

[skrrtscree]

I like angst and hurt especially with my favourite ships so now it's everyone else's problem - tis the season after all eheh

[[CW: mentions of blood and death, brief mention of wanting to disassociate (but it doesn't go too in depth)]]

It only takes a few weeks for Minato to fall for Ryoji, and he falls he falls HARD. Like stereotypical highschool crush stuff that everyone knows minato likes ryoji like it's common knowledge (most people even think they're actually dating) - well, everyone except Minato and Ryoji know. Whenever Yukari says something about it minato will act aloof not knowing what she's talking about, as if his face doesn't light up oh so slightly whenever Ryoji enters a room or looks his way, as if he's not spending most of his days around them doing whatever and listens so intently and every word that comes out of their mouth.

It takes him a while to even fully process these feelings - he'll catch himself drawing little doodles of his friend on his page instead of taking notes like he should be, he fixated on little details on Ryojis face that he's never seen before stopping himself and pulling away (he was never good at eye contact but it came easy with them, he couldn't look away from those eyes). Then he starts dreaming about him during class and he's not sure how to react to it, he can't really cause then Ryoji comes up to him and drags him somewhere else and distracts him like they always do and he puts it on the back burner for later.

But it was one night after Ryoji left the dorm, about an hour stray of midnight, he's looking for the window watching them walk out of sight when Junpei makes some remark about the two like he always does, does it all click for him - oh shit, I like them. But he's not that worried about it, at least not yet, he feels - happy? Happier than he's felt in weeks, months - maybe years. How could a guy he only met a few weeks ago do that to him? He looks at the moon, noting that it's a full moon tonight but instead of the usual dread of uncertainty he was expecting, he felt something akin to hope..

Of course things can't be that simple for Minato, nothing really is... of course the first guy he ever falls for turns out to a monster of death, one monster who just so happens to be the whole reason Itsukui made them fight in the first place.

Aigis' warnings ring true and now here they were, Ryoji begging minato to kill him, to forget about everything that's happened, to forget everything he fought for, to forget them, to live the last few months they have in peace before it all comes to an abrupt end.

He thought about it, dreamt about it even, of his hands and sword covered in blood, impaled through their chest...

He hated those dreams. Minato always woke up afterwards struggling to breathe, he'd jump out of bed and rush to the sink in the corner to just wash his hands even if he knew it was just a dream and there was really no blood shed, he still felt dirty. he couldn't look at himself in the mirror or he'd just see their face staring back instead, blank eyes with that stupid fucking smile...

He feels like he should blame Ryoji for ruining his life, for clinging onto him and poisoning anything good he ever had. Ge thinks he should also be blaming aigis as well, they were the reason why death existed in him in the first place.. but he can't bring himself to do that because he knows that they didn't have any choice, Aigis was just following their program and Ryoji was well... not the Ryoji he knew, not yet at least, they were just concepts who couldn't think for themselves.. far different from the aigis and ryoji he'd come to know now...

In the end he couldn't do it, he knew deep down he couldn't but he was still attempted to. He had the switchblade up to their throat but they didn't even react. He looked into those eyes he adored so much and didn't see a thing behind them. Ryoji kept wearing that smile but the warmness it once had was gone and it just felt hollow. But that wasn't the worst part, that was when they told him that he felt happy, truly happy, and he just couldn't accept that. Minato was shaking, he was terrified and Ryoji knew it, of course they did and he didnt want to hear anything else Ryoji was saying, he couldn't take it. Even staring down the beast that had haunted his nightmares for a decade couldn't make him budge. Minato knows he said something to them that was enough to get them to give up on convincing him but it wasn't enough for him.

He wants to blank out so badly but he can't. He hasn't been able to blank out at all this past month. No matter what he did he just couldn't escape reality anymore, not when the question of it was always in the back of everyones minds, himself included.

During the whole conversation downstairs he was aware of everything that was happening, how Ryoji talked about climbing up Tartarus and defeating Nyx like it was an impossible task and like they were stupid for trying, how Junpei tapped his foot like a nervous tick, how Yukari took glances at him whenever she thought he wouldn't notice, how he could hear the whirring of cogs inside Aigis (he swears that it's not always that loud), how he was fucking shivering and not because of the temperature in the dorm or how his shoes needed to be polished or how he was trying with all his might not to fall apart right now.

He could hear footsteps, Ryojis footsteps, as they advanced toward the front door and he finally looked up not wanting forget what they looked like. Ryoji stopped before he walked out, turning their head and locking eyes with him and suddenly it was like they were the only ones in the room and he feels like he's gonna choke. He wants to say something, anything, but the words are all clogged up in his throat. Ryoji, for their part, still has the same smile on their face as they deliver the worst lines Minato has heard all night.

They just said farewell. And just like that Ryoji was gone, having said everything they had wanted. But Minato hadn't.

He wants to tell them how much they really mean to him, how much he didn't want to lose them forever, how they were the first person in ages who made him feel whole, how they filled a hole in his heart that not even SEES, who he saw as his family, could fill and-

It hit him all at once how much he loves Ryoji, how he's only properly knew this guy for a few weeks but was so sure that he wanted to be with them for the rest of his days. Was it werid that he was in love with Death itself? Was he crazy for loving someone that existed inside him for so long? He didn't care, he didn't care if they were a monster, he didn't care if they were trying to put on a front to get him to hate them because it didn't work and it didn't matter anymore.

The horrible truth was that he was in love with Ryoji Mochizuki and there was nothing he could do about it.

He was in love with Ryoji and Ryoji couldn't feel anything back for him, even if they wanted to.

They never could feel anything.

And any emotional restrain Minato had left tonight was gone the moment the world fell under that dark green hue, a sick reminder that the best thing that had ever happened was gone and was never coming back.

Yeah so I was debating whether or not Minato was gonna confess and just get 😐 as an answer or just never confess and go to his grave with that regret. Both are pretty depressing but I think i settled with the best of both worlds.

[jacesvelaryons]

Another modern!jace x reader social media, maybeee drama w sara snow😈😈😈

a/n: i’m glad someone got that hint and asked for a sequel hehe 🤭🤭this can be a stand alone or seen as a sequel.

part one

masterlist

asks OPEN

let me know if you’d like to be added to my jace masterlist or a masterlist for all my work in general. thanks for the love and support, and most importantly, your patience. I’m trying to update more often between life, and will be able to provide more stuff soon!

i love hearing what you think of my work, and what more you’d like to see from me. 🥰

Did You Like Her In The Morning? (Modern! Jacaerys Velaryon x Female Reader, Sara Snow x Jacaerys Velaryon (unrequited))

spamacc

;)

liked by spamaccount287 and others

user916 hold on- isn’t that?

usernamehere isn’t that jacaerys velaryon?

↪️ random225 yeah that is him 😒disappointed but not surprised

user3842 men ain’t shit! we been knew

username93661 this has to be sara snows snap i know it

↪️person888 i mean who else!

yourusername

with best boy vermax 🥹

liked by baelatargs, rhaenat and others

nettlesishere love you girl!

liked by yourusername

user97 does she not know?

↪️ accountname66 i think she does or pretends it doesn’t bother her 😞

↪️fan7518 poor y/n 😔

↪️hater473 she’s probably staying with him for the money and turning a blind eye to his cheating she ain’t poor she knows what she got into

↪️username9200 you’re such a misogynistic pos making assumptions like that about someone you don’t know and when we don’t know the full story clown

lucerysvelaryon come over for dinner again sometime! it’s been too long!

↪️ yourusername i’ll see you guys soon i promise! miss you my family 🥰

jacaerysvelaryon

suns out.

liked by helaena.buggirl and others

fan638 oh and then he’s hanging out with her brother :/ he’s a cheater pos

↪️usernamehere i’m not a fan or anything but jace and cregan have been friends long before y/n or sara snow were in the picture ok let’s not jump into assumptions

jacaerysvelaryon y/n took this actually :)

↪️ other827 doesn’t negate the fact you’re a cheater 👀

↪️user1511 we don’t know the whole story guys stop

yourusername shared a story

yourusername’s story can no longer be found.

jacaerysvelaryon

liked by rhaenyratargs and others

i don’t like sharing information about me or my loved ones i’d like to keep private, but i’m here to clear up any misunderstandings. i’ve been together with y/n for years and never been with anyone else since. a former fling of mine and my best friends sister has dishonestly posted some private moments i had with her before i got together with y/n, and ive never talked to her since, and spoke with her to cut things off and make it clear im never getting back with her. please respect me and my girlfriend as we navigate this, and leave us the fuck alone.

comments are turned off for this post.

[tokagedreams]

EDGAR ALLAN POE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

(a/n: i have soooo many more thoughts about poe bro i love him so much..anyway, fellow poe fans if you have poe requests i am begging you to drop them in my inbox)

pre-relationship

- the two of you met back in america years ago. you guys start out as ride-or-die best friends, you’re the inseparable duo that does everything together. when poe goes to yokohama with the guild, you go with him even if you’re not a guild member.

- you’re an infuriating case of ‘the two besties that are clearly in love with each other but would rather die than confess because they’re convinced their feelings are unrequited when they obviously aren’t’. you’ve basically been acting like a couple for at least a year but somehow you and poe are both convinced that it’s just a friendship to the other person and nothing more.

- both the guild and the ADA assumed you were already dating until poe referred to you as his ‘best friend’ and they’re just like are you fr right now?? 🤨 it’s literally so freaking obvious you two are head over heels in love to everyone except for you and poe. especially if you’re not even in the guild and you moved across the world just to be with poe 💀 ranpo (affectionately) hates you guys because you refuse to believe him when he tells you that your feelings are requited.

confession

- ranpo #1 wingman frfr!! at first he tries to make it happen naturally, but eventually he realizes that’s a lost cause..so he basically forces poe to confess to you because he’s so sick and tired of hearing poe lament about how you don’t love him back when you obviously do!! i could see ranpo being like “i’m not reading any of your new novels until you confess to (y/n) 😈” and that would be the final straw because poe is not about to throw away all his chances of ever beating his rival.

- i think we all agree that poe is a hopeless romantic, but i feel like he would just be too anxious to actually do anything fancy for a confession. he’s probably fantasized about the perfect confession a hundred times, but when he gets pressured to actually do it, all of those plans go out the window because he’s just freaking out lol.

- he’d tell you to come over because he needs to ‘show you something important’, he doesn’t make it obvious that he’s going to confess his feelings at all. so you get to his house and he tells you to wait on the couch while he gathers everything, and you’re starting to get anxious too because you’re like ummm wtf is he about to show me?? poe goes to his office and after a moment of ‘gathering’ (he actually already had his stuff sorted beforehand, he spent the entire time petting karl to muster up some courage), he brings you this giant stack of messy papers and just stands there awkwardly. and you’re so freaking confused until you start reading them and you realize that they’re all love letters and poems about you, written by poe himself. they’re all dated too so you can see that they range from today all the way back to like at least two years ago.

- poor poe is actually sitting there literally trembling while you read, anxiously waiting for you to respond. obviously you tell him you love him too, and he honestly looks like he doesn’t believe it or just can’t process it for a second, you have to kiss him on the cheek or something to get him to register the fact that you seriously love him. but after that he’s like the happiest you’ve ever seen him, he’s hugging you so hard, grabbing your hands and he might even excitedly kiss your face a couple times. this is genuinely a dream come true for him so he can go a little wild as a treat <3

- he owes ranpo so bad after this btw 💀

relationship

- since you and poe had been acting like a couple for a long while before officially getting together, it’s not that hard to get used to an actual relationship. now there’s just a lot less uncertainty and hesitance, you can comfortably do all of the things that you previously chickened out of because you didn’t want to ‘ruin your friendship’. your feelings aren’t a secret anymore, so you both have free reign to be as affectionate as you want to be.

- in terms of love language, i really feel like poe could appreciate any kind of love from you. he might be a little shy about physical affection, and he probably won’t want to do much of it in public, but in private i think he would secretly love it. his favorite type of love to receive from you would probably be words of affirmation, this man needs that praise and validation so badly!! in the beginning of your relationship, he doesn’t know how to handle your compliments, if you’re flirty he will simply explode. he eventually gets more accustomed to it, but he still blushes like crazy and gets all bashful every time you praise him. his favorite type of love to give to you is probably acts of service, just look at how much he bends over backwards to do favors for ranpo in canon lol. he will do literally anything for you!! with his absurd salary and spending habits, you can count on being showered in gifts too, he just wants to spoil you!

- you and poe are definitely one of those couples that enjoys just chilling in the same room doing your own separate things. it will actually make him so happy if you just quietly sit in his office while he writes! maybe after you’ve been dating for a long time he might even have you sit on his lap sometimes.. 😳 since he spends so much time in there obsessively writing new novels to beat ranpo, it got really lonely with just him and karl, so having you there just makes everything better. he also probably doesn’t take very good care of himself when he’s really focused on writing, so he will be eternally thankful if you help make sure he eats, drinks and sleeps enough. he might be the type to say “just one more chapter..” every time you tell him to go to bed, but you can usually persuade him with the promise of cuddles and a kiss goodnight.

- speaking of cuddles when you go to sleep…i am convinced that poe would secretly love being the little spoon!! he’ll of course default to being the big spoon unless you’re somehow taller than him, because that’s kinda just the norm for tall people in most cases. he might even be hesitant at first if you ask him to swap places with you, because he’s likely never done that before, but when you hold him for the first time..it immediately becomes his new favorite thing. it makes him feel so safe and secure and loved, please hold this man!!

- you play with poe’s hair all the time, it’s something you both enjoy because damn he has a lot of hair and it’s really fluffy. you push his bangs back because you want to actually see his eyes for once!! it makes him so flustered because he lowkey feels exposed without his bangs, but if you tell him his eyes are pretty he’ll be like “omg really?? 🥺” and forget all about his embarrassment. it works every single time. when poe is stressed, he often just lays his head in your lap and lets you run your fingers through his hair, it’s very grounding and calming to him. he gets embarrassed if you catch him off guard and just randomly start petting his hair, he tells you to go pet karl instead 💀

- poe is 100% the type of guy to kiss your knuckles or your forehead all the time. he’ll kiss you on the lips too, but it can be kind of overwhelming, so he doesn’t initiate those kisses as often. i think he would like being kissed on the cheek by you a lot, something simple and sweet to brighten his mood. despite being your partner, he still gets nervous to ask you for kisses when he wants them, but he’s honestly pretty unintentionally obvious about it so you can usually tell lol.

- poe gets so embarrassed if you ever read his novels, he knows that you appreciate his writing, but your opinion is so important to him that he gets anxious about it. he usually doesn’t let you read books that he’s written to challenge ranpo until after he’s already shown them to the detective. but you always read them when he gets back home and he’s all mopey after ranpo has successfully solved another one of his mysteries. although he remains determined to continue trying, it’s always a major blow to his self esteem when he loses to ranpo again. so you read the books for yourself so that you can praise him about every specific detail and make him feel better about himself and his work. you may not be his rival or the greatest detective in the world, but you are poe’s partner, so your words are still very meaningful to him.

- poe would definitely call you lots of pet names if you’re comfortable with it. he calls you things like ‘my dearest’ and ‘my beloved’, but he’ll also call you things like ‘darling’ and ‘love’. if you have a nickname, he’ll typically use that in place of your full name because it feels more intimate to him. if you do the same to him, he’ll be so happy! he’s down with being called basically any term of endearment as long as it comes from you, but some may make him more flustered than others. if you shorten his name and call him ‘ed’ it makes him feel so much closer to you.

- poe talks about you all the freaking time! he’s not above straight up bragging about how great his partner is, he constantly feels the need to tell everyone how great you are. hopefully ranpo likes you a lot because my guy has to listen to poe gushing about you constantly lol. if poe ever finds out that you’ve told your friends good things about him, it will warm his heart and make him feel so appreciated. he’s basically never prepared for you to match his extreme passion in your relationship, it shocks him every single time and he can’t believe he actually met someone who loves him as strongly as he loves them.

(a/n: thanks for reading my first fic on this account! i hope you guys like my theme lol, i just wanna be known as the tokage guy who writes bsd fics)

[cvnt4him]

ochaco x fem reader 😈 !

I swear I love ochako sm I hate how some people make her like some petty bitch in their izuku x reader fics she's so nice bro😞

You and ochako originally started "dating" by accident. She was ranting to you about how much she liked deku and how she just wouldn't know how to go about it and she asked you if you could pretend to be deku for her.

"... So you want me to pretend to be deku? What are you going to get out of this if you're the one confessing?"

"y'know like.. I can't be prepared for whatever face he makes!! Y'know...?"

"no."

You say with a straight face, you don't understand why or how this is gonna help but she was your friend and you suppose you can do one favor.

She sighs heavily before staring at you in your eyes. She bites her lip before grabbing your hands and breathing in.

"I like you.. like, like like you, and I know this is strange and the feelings are probably unrequited but I just think you're so strong and inspirational and kind hearted it's just so alluring and amazing! You've inspired me to be a better hero and a better friend and I really like you!....."

You just stare at her with a wide eyed expression, looking from side to side before your gaze and back on her. Her smile was halfhearted and somewhat forced, she could tell you were speechless.

"...yay!! You did it..? Go off girlboss!!"

You faux cheer doing jazz hands and trying not to laugh. She groans before slapping your arm again and falling back on your bed.

"can you be serious for just one second?! This is really important to me and I'm afraid if it isn't perfect he'll hate me forever and ever!"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! I just-- I just can't take it seriously I mean, what do you even actually see in him? He's kind of a dork."

"yeah but that's what I like about him!"

You roll your eyes before laying back as well, she gets up to see you lying down. She crawls on top of you so now you can see her face, you give her a slight smile before she gives you one back and falls on top of you. You groan at her weight suddenly falling onto you before laughing and wrapping your arms around her.

You rolled over so now you're on top of her and burying your face in her neck, she smiles staring off into nothingness before she's jolted back to reality by your breath fanning her neck, the warmth of it makes heat rush to her face and a shade of pink tints her chubby cheeks.

She gulps down hard before a million thoughts rush to her head, they're so loud she can't even focus on what they're all trying to say to her. She looks at you before looking back up to the ceiling. You move back and look down at her as she looks up at you, wide eyes staring up into yours, a smile painting your face as you just chuckle above her. She looked so freaked out by what she was feeling, butterflies invaded her tummy when you looked at her like that. When you laughed, she was in heaven. Had she gained a crush on you?

Was she just being paranoid or was your face moving closer to hers? Oh God were you going to kiss her?! Fuck what should she do kiss you back? Push you away?! Fuck fuck fuck!

She couldn't think. She tried to get up thinking you'd simply back off once you saw it but she was moving too fast before you could so once she got up your heads bumped together. You both groan in pain before she apologizes profusely.

Silence fell upon you two. She was so awkward but you were mostly just confused in silence. Why was she suddenly acting weird?

"so- so I'm gonna uh, head out yeah? See you tomorrow!"

She says hurriedly rushing out the door before you could even get a word in.

"i-... Okay..? Goodnight, I guess?"

There was confusion and attitude laced in your tone, she was acting weird and now wanted to suddenly vanish? What the fuck?

She couldn't come face to face with her feelings yet. The last time she thought she felt something for a girl was for toga, which she hadn't seen in over a year. She believed those feelings had gone and that they weren't even really feelings just adoration for someone she cared about!

Could she pass this off as simply adoration as well?

AN: I really hope y'all fw this bro bc if you don't I'm ending it all.

All dividers used in this and any other fic belongs to @anitalenia

[alwaysthefool]

Hurts Like Heaven (Dazai x You)

warnings; death, angst, disease, unrequited love, double suicide mention

tags; hanahaki disease

[Author's note: Obligatory definition of hanahaki disease (from fanlore dot com lol)-- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. In this variation, the reader's symptoms peak up when they actually see Dazai. There's no surgery option in this one 😈]

Fuck, not him again. You could almost cry as you saw Dazai at the cafe, flirting with the waitress, making jokes again. There was no way he wouldn't know as your situation was at its worst, and you couldn't run out because you weren't in the physical condition to. The most you could do was hide your face in your arms and pray he didn't see you. You had decided not to get coffee that day, settling with just green tea to make yourself feel a little better, but you knew just seeing him would give you at least a week's worth of dreams. Just the thought hurt so much. Dazai, who had never outright rejected you, who you could never tell your feelings to, scared of the fatal rejection, but more so, rationally knowing you couldn't give him the love he needed, and he couldn't love you. Your worlds were too different-- you couldn't begin to understand him-- and his heart was elsewhere, unable to love again. You were similar too, both sad with an evil past and tragic fates. The only difference was, unlike you, he could be saved. 

And thus, you let that little dandelion seed of a wish fly out of your hand, only for it to bloom as a petal in your lungs.

You had known him for only a year and started to like him for less than and a half, and it would kill you in only a matter of weeks.

You'd just smile and hide your pain whenever you saw him, excusing yourself and going around back to cough up blood and petals. That didn't hurt as much, neither did knowing you'd die, but what hurt was seeing him. It hurt like heaven. There he was again, with that smile, those eyes that hid a world you couldn't begin to understand, those bandages that you knew hid more than scars, that hair, those hands you wished so badly to touch, even if it would kill you. Death? Blood? What was that? The only thing that caused any substantial pain was the longing, and you wanted so bad to quash it. Your solution was avoiding him and forgetting all about him eventually, no matter how long it took. As long as he didn't appear before you, it would be okay. So why, still, did you decide to stay in the city?

"If it isn't [Name]!" That rich voice chimed, and you heard the chair across you being pulled. Of course he saw you. Of course it would be like that. Of course you couldn't get your night's rest.

Part of your heart bloomed with feelings, and the other wished you hadn't stepped out of your house that day.

You removed your hands from your face, and gave him a weak smile, trying your best not to let the ache in your chest show.

"I feel like I never see you anymore." He pouted those perfect lips as an extremely deadly joke, forcing a few coughs out of you. You immediately turned away, and hid the blood and petals in your handkerchief.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" As if nothing missed his eye, he exclaimed "Is that blood?!"

"Um." You composed yourself again, despite all the pain, thinking of a lie. "Yeah, actually I... I have pulmonary hemosiderosis."

You thanked the knowledge that came from 20 seasons of Grey's, but also slightly cringed at having to keep up a ridiculous lie in front of a detective.

"Do you need any help?" To your dismay, Dazai stood up and sat beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder, making you feel like you'd explode there and then.

Three weeks of bedrest, five weeks of bad dreams, and an even shortened lifespan.

"Please get away from me." You almost cried, closing your eyes and jerking him off reluctantly.

"Alright, just relax, okay?" Even then, he was so cool as you heard him take his original seat. You slowly opened your eyes again, knowing you'd made a mess of your image in front of him. Perhaps his concerned eyes hid a resentment for you, but you didn't care. You just loved him.

"Yeah, sorry, it can be contagious." You lied, knowing he could go home and google that it was not, and hoped he didn't care about you enough to but Dazai stared at you with a look of absolute sternness. Of course he wouldn't believe your lies. But do you know? I wish you knew.

"That so?" He spoke in a way it didn't sound like a question. "Anyway, you do not seem well. Please let me take you to the hospital. Or Yosano, if you're more comfortable with that."

You had already been to Yosano once before, and she told you she couldn't cure that, wishing you all the best as you lied and told her the person you liked already rejected you. He didn't even like you enough as a friend. You were nothing to him, but the unfair universe made him mean so much to you. It wasn't like you didn't understand him. You did, and deeply, but something had gone wrong in both of your destinies that made you end up that way. Dazai was worlds apart from you, and you couldn't reach him. Maybe that pretty girl he had been talking to recently would, maybe someone like Chuuya could, maybe his friends from the agency could, but not you. No, you were just an acquaintance.

And at that moment, you realised no matter how much you tried to ignore him, it wouldn't help-- that you'd die, and you'd feel happy about it. You lost everything to someone like that, all your dreams, your precious life, your esteem and confidence, only for love. Did your life mean nothing beyond that? If you told him, and he reciprocated your feelings, you'd still die from his inciting dream of a double suicide. If he rejected you, you'd die alone. Maybe not doing anything and taking that impossible chance to make your life your own would mean something, despite the disease having a 100% fatality rate if the feelings are not reciprocated.

"No, this is normal, trust me." You finally gave him a reassuring smile. "Besides, I don't think hospitals can help anymore."

"What?" He looked shocked, reaching out to take your hand, and you let him, comforting him instead by rubbing a fragile thumb on his palm . Did he really not know? Why did he look so shocked? Did he care? Those feelings overcame you, and you coughed a little more, apologizing quickly.

"Please tell me there's a way."

You took a deep breath. "Mine's a special case. Even with surgery, there's no chance."

"No..." Dazai looked away from you, outside the window, that pained and distant expression you'd fallen for crossing his face. In that moment, you finally understood it. It was a longingness for something.

"It's fine, buddy." You pulled your hand away from him owing to the ache in your lungs. "I still want to try, you know. I want to live." He still did not look at you as he put his chin on his shaking palm. "And I wish the same for you."

He forced a smile, finally looking at you with those same dead eyes you were always curious about. Now you knew that it meant despair. Dazai was a poem you could only decipher at the brink of your death, and he was far more beautiful and pure than he knew he was.

"If I could, I'd give up my worthless life for yours."

You commanded your lungs and heart to keep at bay, as if telling death you needed a moment before peacefully accepting its call.

"Your life isn't worthless, you know. You did so many good deeds. If you feel like dying, maybe it's because you just need purpose."

Dazai's eyes widened, and it was as if, for a moment, you thought he could love you back, and things would work out, that you could save him and yourself. But those moments were always fleeting, because you knew you had no purpose either, and you'd fall into his vices like you'd fallen for him.

"Do you think you can manage a walk? The weather's beautiful today."

Dazai helped you up, and held you tightly as the two of you walked out, the blossoms from the trees flying about. The scene was almost like a movie, and you knew you were at the end, using the last of your strength to walk, the disease taking over your body completely, the pain being nothing just because he was holding you.

"You're right." You breathed. "It's beautiful. I-"

You wanted to say more to him, you wanted to be held for a little longer, you had so many dreams, and so much you wanted, but your body finally gave out, as you violently coughed blood and petals, Dazai catching you as your feet lost their hold.

"[Name]!" He yelled as he held you in his lap, scrambling his head to find a way to help you somehow, pausing when he saw the petals blossom out of your mouth. Although the thought of you loving someone else hurt him deeply, he still begged you to tell you who it was, whether you had confessed, if there was a chance.

"Hey..." You croaked through tears and coughs. "It's okay, friend. I'm happy to die in your arms."

"Don't say that! You're not dying!" He wished he knew you better to figure out who it was, and you wished he knew you better to know it could be no one else but him. That no one had showed you the kindness he had shown you, that no one helped you life he did, that no one understood you like he did. You were so happy just to have known him. He made your life better despite also making it end; he made it beautiful and gave it a little meaning.

However, you weren't strong enough to tell him all of that, so you chose your final words carefully. "Thank you for everything, Dazai. I was happy to have loved you."

He held you tightly as your eyes closed, those persistent flowers that had plagued you so finally withering as your breathing stopped. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream at you for not telling him, knowing you could be saved because he loved you too. He wished you knew that you could've saved him, that you were enough for him, that he'd overcome his own insecurities and pursued you first instead.

And in the midst of all that regret as he did nothing but hold your still warm form, a single petal bloomed in his lung.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of Halloween themed One Direction fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Louis/Harry—

😈 knock knock, i love you by beautlouis / @thelovejandles

(E, 86k, uni) Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

😈 A Twist of Fate by @perfectdagger

(T, 59k, Just My Luck Au) Louis, who apparently is the luckiest man in the world according to his friends, might have his fate and luck twisted when he crosses path with a handsome and mysterious bloke dressed up as Zorro at Syco Entertainment Press Corp’s Halloween party.

😈 love is divine by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci

(M, 25k, witch Harry) Being a witch doesn't help when it comes to unrequited love.

😈 got me feelin' like by @levelofcharm

(E, 12k, party) Strangers, Harry and Louis, accidentally wore matching costumes, leading everyone to think they're a couple when they definitely are not.

😈 Happy HalLouWeen by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 11k, cat Louis) Harry ends up with a cat. It's wildly stubborn and has bright blue eyes. It's maybe also cute.

😈 Wasn't Looking by @berzerkshires

(M, 10k, soulmates) AU It is well known that the first time soulmates touch they leave a vivid mark on their partner’s skin. Well one morning Louis wakes up with a bright stripe across his cheekbone and no idea what happened.

😈 Rainy Days and Leaves by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(E, 9k, coffee shop) Louis works at a coffee shop and spells Harry's name wrong on his cups.

😈 Just Like You by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(G, 7k, party) Harry had been planning his perfect costume and looking forward to wearing it all month.

😈 Fallen treats by @sweariwouldnt

(NR, 6k, trick or treating) Harry hates both Halloween and Louis Tomlinson.

😈 My Arms Are Hungry For You by @afirethatcannotdie

(T, 6k, party) the one where Harry and Louis meet at Nick Grimshaw's Halloween party and things go better than anyone could have expected.

😈 All's Well That Ends Better by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit

(G, 5k, party) Louis goes to a Halloween party as a Hobbit and finds himself a Gandalf. 

😈 Let You Lick the Lollipop by @allwaswell16

(E, 4k, party) Louis may be throwing a Halloween costume party for a lot of drunk college students, but that doesn’t mean he can’t also hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.

😈 our gentle sin by @phdmama

(E, 4k, uni) A priest and a nun walk into a bedroom.What will happen next?

😈 Cookbooks and Toothpicks and One Lizard by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, witch Harry) It’s as if for 364 days they forget what his profession is entirely, and then all remember at the same moment on the morning of October 31st. Oh yeah! I have a friend who is a witch! 

😈 Messtival by @kingsofeverything

(T, 3k, teacher) Harry just wants some good candy for the school's annual fall festival, but someone buys it all before he can get any.

😈 Cat & Mouse by @jaerie

(E, 2k, secret identity) It's the one day out of the year that Harry doesn't have to hide and can be himself — at least he thought so. Louis is just a little more observant than he anticipated.

😈 Exposed by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(M, 666 words, art) Louis should really stop agreeing to do favours for his friends while drunk, especially when they result in him becoming a live-art model…

😈 A Halloween M(ass)hap by @lululawrence

(NR, 666 words, costume) He’d been so distracted by his roommate’s cleaning and fussing while he had been looking for the perfect trousers for Liam’s annual Halloween fancy dress party that he’d not realised the black leather trousers he’d chosen to complete his vampire look were arseless.

😈 Vintage Suit by @juliusschmidt

(M, 666 words, masturbation) Louis takes off his Halloween costume.

—Rare Pairs—

😈 leave my life outside (or let me in) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 52k, Zayn/Liam) Halloween is the one night a year where people won’t look at them and immediately recognize them for who they are. It’s the one night a year where their horns or talons are considered to be part of a costume.

😈 wonder what it's like by eynap / @panye

(E, 4k, Niall/Shawn Mendes) Niall uses his Halloween magic to make photos of the male model he's obsessed with come to life. Instead, he accidentally summons the real-life model, Shawn, to his workroom.

[the-kr8tor]

Okay, so I’m still working on Chapter 3 for my story, but I will get it done 😭 just need to get over my writers block.

However, I keep having this angst scenario with Hobie that keeps conflicting with me, and I can’t get it out of my head until I write it out to somebody.

So…sorry in advance if this pains you like it pains me 🥲

So R is an heir to a kingdom, and Hobie is a secret rebel spy from a revolutionary group acting as a servant/ outside staff (like a gardener or something) for the castle, and they accidentally meet each other by chance. Hobie at first befriends R to find a way to find any secrets that could overthrow the royal family, but they soon start to get closer and grow close…

He starts to get some doubts after a while, growing protective of R, but he can’t back out because he knows too much of the rebels’ plans, so he tries to make his own plans to find a way to hide R and run away with him before the revolution starts.

Only the revolution starts earlier than he anticipated, and he tries to get to R in time while the army captures the rest of the royal family. He finds R in time and tries to escape with them, but the army catches up with them and takes them away from each other, with R looking heartbroken and betrayed finding out that Hobie was a spy this whole time, before they take her to the dungeons with her family before they get publicly executed.

Hobie finally finds R in their own cell—defeated and resigned to their fate. Hobie tries to break R out of the cell and have them run away with him, but R just wants to stay with their family until the end. R then just quietly confesses to Hobie that they love him, but they already accepted that their feelings are unrequited and that he doesn’t have to pretend that he likes them anymore, breaking his heart in the process.

Before he could confess his own feelings, some of the rebels come in to take the princess to the guillotine, and he could only watch with heartbreak as R follows her family to their demise.

——

I can’t write out an execution scene, I won’t do that to you 🥲

- 😅

(ahhhh i thought i already answered this but it was actually just in my mind smh)

Don't worry I'll patiently wait for it!

OQNSJAZBWJSODMS OKAY THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL

Like I can totally see hobie being like this rebel whose mind is so set in toppling the monarchy down until r! He still wants the monarchy out of there but for some reason he really wants this one royal to be safe (preferably in his arms)

Noooo he was too late!!! This reminded me of the story of Anastasia (the real one)

GAHHHH I can just imagine the look on r's face when they realised that it was Hobie's plan that would get their entire family killed and then too 😔

Brooo i had a feeling that r wouldn't leave after that 😭😭😭 r died without knowing that hobie loved them too 😭 (tear my heart into pieces would u)

*laughs evily* I would write it muahahaha 😈

[viburnt]

Hi!! Can I request Deku with “How could I do that to him/her”. Preferably hurt no comfort please, kinda want to feel the sting 😈

Have some delicious angst, Anon! You've no idea how much I loved writing this. <3

—Viburnt

𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 || 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡

Your mind swirled with thoughts as you stood outside Midoriya's room, waiting for the greenette to appear. He'd texted you a few hours ago.

"Meet me outside my dorm, I need to tell you something."

The text itself felt unusual from him, the absence of his favorite stickers or emojis not going unnoticed. "How weird," you thought as you leaned against the wooden entrance of his room. What could be so important that couldn't wait until tomorrow?

The memory of the day you confessed your feelings for him crept into your mind, bugging you. You'd sent a similar text to him when you decided to come clean, spilling your heart out for him to see.

You weren't chosen; the unrequited feelings you held nested inside you like a plague.

At least he still wanted you as a friend.

—Hey, you're here! Sorry to keep you waiting. — Izuku's voice said, pulling you out of your headspace. You waved your hand at him with underlying nervousness; there it was again, the sensation that something wrong was going to happen.

—No worries, I didn't wait too long.— You lied to avoid making Midoriya feel bad; you'd been waiting outside his room like a dog waiting for its owner. —What happened? What did you need to tell me?

Midoriya's skin went red, a small bead of sweat forming at the back of his neck. Pressing his lips into a fine line, he told you to enter his room to let his secret out.

You sat at the edge of his bed the same way you'd done in the past, your legs moving with anticipation. On his desk, you could see the many drawings and posters the two had made together since kids, a fond memory that was tarnished with love.

— I'm dating Ochako.— He muttered at first, finding it hard to confess his feelings. You couldn't quite understand him as his voice came out as a whisper.

—Mind saying that again?— You pleaded as the boy averted his gaze from you. His emerald eyes moving from one side to another in embarrassment.

—I'm dating Ochako!— He blurted louder, letting the words sink into you. You must've failed hiding the pain on your face as Izuku's body rushed to sit by your side.

There was a long, dreadful pause before you allowed the words to come out of your mouth; the air in the room becoming thick as the news sunk in.

A tight knot formed in your throat, feeling a burning pain emanating from it.

—Oh, I see...— He heard you say, your lips making an effort to curl into a smile. —Congrats, Izu! I know how much you like her.

With trembling hands, you reached for his soft curls, patting his head like a proud friend.

Midoriya looked at you with concern, feeling how tense you'd become as you tried to assimilate the situation.

—I know you told me you didn't want to know, but– Y-you're still my best friend!— He stammered, his words falling on deaf ears; your head could only hear static.

You sighed, covering your mouth to think. "Best friend," you thought, "I should feel grateful to be his best friend, shouldn't I?"

But you couldn't help but hate the title.

You didn't want to be a bosom friend of his; you wanted to be his.

His in a way only Ochako had seemed to achieve. Oh, how you wished you'd never worn your heart on your sleeve; it would've saved you the pain.

"This feels wrong," Midoriya thought, feeling selfish for hurting you. "How could I do that to her?"

You stood up from his bed, feeling like your body was moved in autopilot. Izuku got up with you, his hand trying to reach yours only to be met with coldness.

—Please say something...— He croaked.

—I just need time.— You muttered, abandoning the four walls of his room, the sound of his door closing being the last thing he heard before being surrounded by an intoxicating feeling of loneliness.

You never returned to him, and there was no way on Earth he was getting back his friend.

It was the aftermath of a broken heart.

[gerryrigged]

DickTim - Unrequited???

Me: (in the mood for Angst, attempting to dream up actually legitimately unrequited Dick -> Tim for maximum Dick pining and pain)

My DickTim brain: yeah sorry, you came to the wrong brain, I can’t muster up a scenario right now where Tim Drake is not on some level in love with Dick Grayson. Even if he’s like happily hitched to someone else, that just means he came to terms with it, not that it doesn’t exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me: fuck. Okay then, how about Amnesia!Tim? 😈 Can't love Dick if he doesn't even know his own name amirite mwahaha

My DickTim brain: omg but what if Tim takes in Dick’s beautiful, worried face, the panicked care with which he checks Tim over, and proceeds to fall in love with him all over again, possibly before learning his own name? 🥺💕

Me: 😍😍😍 - wait no, goddammit. Come on, keep in mind the goal here okay?

Me: hmm, how about… Hanahaki AU where Tim had to have his love for Dick surgically removed literal years ago?

My DickTim brain: you don’t even like Hanahaki AUs but ok. Tragic! 😩 How can we fix this problem? Dick is gutted he didn’t know about this, but sees signs of hope in Tim’s smile and the way their relationship has gradually been improving over the years since the low point that must have been the Hanahaki surgery. And he’s right for not giving up! Tim’s love for him re-grows like a stubborn weed.

My DickTim brain: Except not a weed because it’s not Hanahaki anymore because it’s requited. Hope this helps. 😌

Me: …you are the opposite of helpful.

Me: alright so what if Tim is still angry with Dick post-BruceQuest, so he's moved on and no longer has feelings for–

My DickTim brain: –I think you mean, Tim is angry with Dick post-BruceQuest and it’s complicated BECAUSE he still has feelings for–

Me: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT

Me: ...Tim gets shot with a magical Opposite Ray, so there 😡

My DickTim brain: okay but that’s hilarious tho, like it becomes excruciatingly obvious how in love he normally is because of how suddenly cold and indifferent he is to Dick specifically. Dick Grayson who? And Dick doesn’t know why this drives him quite so up the wall, but he is in fact losing his mind having gone from #1 in Tim’s affections to dead last. When he’s not putting every scrap of energy into reversing the spell's effects, he’s stubbornly throwing himself against the icy wall of Tim’s apathy.

My DickTim brain: Everyone is like Dick. You know that’s useless, right? It’s magic. Stop hurting yourself for no reason. While Dick is like "that sounds like LOSER TALK to me - Tim, Timmy, Timbo, come train-surfing with me 🥺"

My DickTim brain: or alternatively, especially post-Red Robin, he's like, "No reason? Do you have any idea how unbearable this is for me? How much it reminds me of - no, no, I'm not going through this again. I've let Tim go before and I still don't know whether that was the right thing to do. But I've never given up on him before and I'm not starting now. We were doing so good - like hell am I letting some spell screw that up. TIM, hey, come train-surfing with me!"

My DickTim brain: meanwhile the other person is like, "Raven and Zatanna said the counterspell would be ready in less than a week, Dick PLEASE 😭"

Me: DAMMIT you’re so right 😔

[little-tyrant-gortash]

Oathbreaker

Pairing: fem!Tav x Enver Gortash, fem!Tav/Astarion

Tags: Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Paladin Tav (Baldur's Gate), Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Drunk Sex, Unrequited Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Scars, Blood and Injury, Injury, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Torture, Psychological Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture

Word count: 2,087

Ao3 here.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4.

Chapter 5.

Chapter 6.

Chapter 7.

Chapter 8.

Chapter 9.

Chapter 10.

Chapter 11.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13.

Chapter 14.

Chapter 15.

Chapter 16.

Chapter 17. ⬇

Chapter 18.

Notes: I may have rushed to write this chapter - I wanted to play Baldur's Gate 3 tonight -, but I was SO! WAITING! FOR THIS MOMENT AAAAAAAAA IT'S FINALLY HERE-

I've had the last few paragraphs locked away in the depths of my brain for an entire month!!

That one scene in my mind was the reason I've started writing this fanfic. 😂

The plot thickens. It'll be very intense. I'll love it! 😈

Hopefully you will like it, too. Or not. Either way, I love to read your thoughts! 😁🖤

Chapter 18: The Vampire Ascendant

She should've expected that Gortash had plans for that day.

A tailor came over that morning to fit her for a dress that she was pretty sure she never would've put on otherwise. It was a black evening dress, with a way too low cut down her back which was covered with thin lace, and the entire dress was decorated with golden thread embroidery, depicting dragons – very similar to the ones that Gortash had on the collar of his leather coat.

"I'm not putting this on", she protested when the tailor finished and left them alone in one of the audience chambers.

"First of all, I've put hours into the design", Gortash started, and she stared up at him in disbelief.

"You designed it?"

"-secondly, I've paid a lot for it to be made."

"I hate it when you're spending money on me", she motioned towards him, then at the dress. "Can't I just settle for something I can get for myself?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Just accept it. It's a gift."

"Why are you doing this to me?!" Tav whined, running a hand in her hair.

Five minutes of arguing later, though, she begrudgingly let Gortash chase her into yet another thing she wouldn't've done otherwise. It really was a beautiful dress, she loved it the moment she saw it – she just didn't like that he spent so much on her.

The guest list was unknown to her, but she had to go with him after lunch to check the hall where the ball would be held. The servants were busy preparing everything to be perfect; of course, the main colours were black and gold again, full with – yet unlit – black candles and a way too big space in the middle, with tables near the doors to the balcony. The tables already had some of the drinks on them. Gortash was busy talking to some of those who were responsible for the event itself, and Tav glanced up at the ceiling which was, in fact, beautifully done in colourful glass.

When she stopped in the middle of the room and looked around, seeing that the place would be able to hold a lot of people, noticing the prepared musical instruments in one of the corners, it just occurred to her that there was yet another task Gortash would demand from her that day.

Dance.

Tav paled.

The last time she danced with Wyll came in her mind. She was beyond hopeless, even if she just followed Wyll. Given her past and her training as a Paladin, she had little to no time for such fine arts. Frankly, she didn't even care about it.

That was something Gortash knew by heart by now. He'd spent enough time around nobles and must've attended their stupid parties to know how to move amoung them. But her? She'd be the world's most disappointing dance partner he ever had.

The panic rapidly built in her lower abdomen until she started to feel positively nauseaous. That was when Gortash stopped beside her and glanced up at the glass ceiling, too.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He asked her quietly. "You should see it during a full moon. The colours are so different then."

Tav's throat went dry. She glanced at him, but he was still enjoying the view, and she just realised that he looked about ten years younger. Observing his face, she noticed just now that her mere presence smoothed out his usual frown.

She cleared her throat and looked back up at the ceiling.

"I'm not dancing."

Her words had a remarkable effect on him. He laughed.

"No?"

"No."

"Well, that's too bad. I'm hosting this event, which means I'll have to do the opening dance."

"I'm afraid you'll have to do it alone", Tav tutted, half turning away.

Gortash grabbed her right hand and pulled her back to himself.

"No", she whispered, "not in front of… everyone…"

"Baldur's Gate's finest men and women will see you with me tonight, anyway."

Shit. Of course, he was right. Tav wanted to run away, but Gortash led her movements as he wished, making her realise that following him wasn't that hard.

As it wasn't hard to follow him in every other thing he did, too.

"See? It's not that hard. You're doing it well", he smiled at her gently, making her heart flutter. "Just follow my lead."

Just follow his lead.

Hours later, on the way to the hall, she kept telling that to herself. Her hand rested on his lower left arm; the gold that covered his arms felt cold to her touch. As grounding as that felt, she'd never been more nervous.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her as they stopped in front of the door.

"I think I'm going to throw up", she admitted.

"You'll have to get used to this", Gortash moved his clawed right hand up to her face. She allowed servants to apply some makeup on her face, as well as tend to her hair, styling it into a decorative bun with several braids at the back of her head, so the back of her dress could be seen. Compared to Gortash's high collar at the back of his head, she looked more approachable, less dominant and less intimidating. Which was probably the whole idea. Gortash hooked his index finger under her chin and brought her closer to himself. "You need to see your subjects."

"I don't like to think of people that way", she murmured.

"That's what they will be. Our obedient puppets." As his clawed thumb ghosted over her lower lip, she faintly remembered that there was someone else who said those words, but his touches were distracting her mind. "Every time I look at you, I can't believe how lucky I am."

That finally made Tav smile.

"You flatter me, Your Grace."

"And you honour me, my dear." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and she felt like she'd melt at it. "Come. If you don't want to mingle on your own, just keep smiling and follow me. I'll introduce you to everyone important."

"Just one thing", she murmured before she reached up to his shirt. He frowned slightly when he felt her using the rope to pull it properly closed. "There."

"Was this absolutely necessary?" He raised a brow. "I liked it that way."

"At least have it like this now. We're seeing important people, after all."

"I've had it like that when I became the Archduke."

Tav tilted her head cheekily.

"You looked delicious like that, but I'm afraid if a lot of people are checking you out at that area tonight, I might become a vicious murderer."

"Oh?" He chuckled, moving his left arm around her waist to pull her in close. "I'll have to see that one day."

"Trust me, you don't want to", she warned him quietly, trying to ignore how the air between them changed yet again, positively snizzling with passion they both had to hold back.

"You'll have a long, long night tonight", he warned her, making her sigh.

"…is that the hilt of your dagger or are you just happy to see me?"

"You really need to ask?"

"Enver! Do we need to fetch a glass of cold water for you?"

They kissed, and they laughed in that kiss, feeling light and careless.

Perhaps it was too good to be true.

"Shall we get to it, then?" Tav murmured when they finally could break away from each other. "The sooner the guests leave, the better for both of us." She paused before she giggled again. "And your pants."

"My pants survived a lot more than this."

"Please, Your Grace. Let's go. I want that dance to be over, and it hasn't even started yet."

"Hmmm", Gortash hummed against her lips. "Say that little word again."

"Please, Enver~", she purred as seductively as possible, making him shiver.

"I never get tired of hearing that."

She repositioned herself on his left side, and they finally entered the room. The way every head turned to look at them made her feel like her legs were made of liquid. She'd never, ever do this again. She wouldn't allow him.

She hadn't done anything in particular as Gortash addressed the nobles, just stood tall and as confident as she was able to. She couldn't help the feeling in the pit of her gut that something wasn't right. The men and women around them drank every word of Gortash; they visibly liked him, so there was no problems whatsoever.

Then came the music and the thrice cursed dance.

She struggled through every second of it, even if she was trying her hardest to focus on him and no one else.

"You're doing well", he whispered to her, making her smile as he led her through it.

The tadpole in her skull squirmed anxiously.

This hadn't happened in hours, not since she'd left camp last night. The smile vanished from her face, and her eyes wandered around in the room as Gortash was spinning her once. The faces were blurry as her vision darkened at the pain as the tadpole squirmed even more, causing her a headache – someone was trying to get into her mind.

Close your mind, the Emperor warned her, you are in danger.

The panic was imminent. The Emperor had kept her safe ever since she fell from the Nautiloid, she had no reason not to believe him when he warned her. She felt it anyway; her tadpole wouldn't stir otherwise. She hadn't had her weapons with her, she felt as vulnerable as a newborn, especially in this dress, during a dance. The smile froze on her face as she paled, focusing to shut herself down from the intruder that poked around at the edges of her mind. She was trying to pay more attention to Gortash again, letting him pull her in close as they walked in a half circle, her hands between them, fingers entwined. Her expression made him furrow his brows slightly; he instantly knew something was wrong.

As soon as the dance was over and another song started which most of the guests started to dance to, he led her to one of the tables to get her something to drink. He couldn't outright ask what just happened; not yet, as the night was still young. He couldn't just disappear as they've just arrived. There were customs to follow.

Which led to an agonizing two hours of him introducing her to the good people of Baldur's Gate, during which her tadpole squirmed at the constant attacks against her mind. Someone really wanted to get in and look around in her brain.

Who is it? She asked the Emperor.

If I told you, you would scream.

Well. Good news was that there were several Steel Watchers around the room, and she was hanging from the city's most powerful man's arm. Surely nobody would try anything with the odds heavily in Gortash's favour, right? She was safe as long as she remained on his side and didn't lose him in the crowd.

And seeing her tight lipped, nervous smile and the sheer panic in her eyes, he would've been mad to let her get lost. He didn't only have her right hand hooked around his left arm, he even had his clawed right hand over hers as he spoke to others. To let her know that he really was there for her. To let everyone else know that she belonged to him and if anyone threatened her in any way, he'd destroy them without hesitation.

When it seemed they've met everyone, they glanced at each other. His questioning dark eyes met her slowly calming ones, and he was just about to ask a question when a silky voice spoke from behind them.

A silky voice that made her heart and breath stop.

"Archduke Enver Gortash? We haven't had a chance to speak, yet. I'd like to thank you for inviting me."

Tav nearly fainted. The edges of her vision blurred as she half turned to look at the man who addressed Gortash, dressed in the finest attire she'd ever seen on him; imposing, threatening, scheming in his entire being. Astarion was just as beautiful as he was on the day when he left her; her pale elf with his strong, piercing, crimson eyes and dangerous, sharp smile.

Hello, my sweet. He told her through their psychic connection as he locked eyes with her. Long time no see.

[four-white-trees]

6, 10, and 17 for rgg (in general)! also 19 for judgement specifically

Oda. I mean. I don't think i have to elaborate lmao

it's not even that he's human trafficker (dont...take that out of context) or that he trafficked Makoto at all. It's that he NEVER expressed one ounce of regret for his actions outside of how they affected his unrequited crush Tachibana. He never even fucking apoligized to Makoto. But the narrative and Kiryu act like had a redemption arc and it drives me up the wall.

I also really hate Nishitani...but I've gotten into fights about this so i shant say any more

ALL OF RGG? Hmmm...Blood of a Lion by Beast in Black! Very thematically resonant to RGG

Such a cool question. RGG has been such a presence in my life for so long it's shaped some of my tastes so I'll need to think about this

In general I do prefer dark, more grounded stories. When it comes to crime fiction, my favorite subgenre is noir. And I mean REAL noir, bleak and dark and a dismal ending. RGG's levity and...pushing suspension of disbelief beyond limits is unique for me.

Gameplay-wise, i do NOT like brawlers and I usually play on easy to get through the combat. This doesn't apply to Ichiban's games obv (the opposite for me there - i LOVE the gameplay) and Judgment's combat is so good and smooth that it MAKES me enjoy the brawling gameplay. But Kiryu and the protags of Y4 feel so sloggish to me that I'm more withstanding their gameplay than enjoying it.

Also all the objectification of women. Really not into that.

now i AM writing a sequel fic but as it's specifically a kuwagami fic, it has a large dose of self-indulgent contrivance so I'll pitch a J3 I think RGGS would make

With the Kaito Files we've seen Kaito is a formidable detective himself and can handle his own case load. Also we're LUCKY Kimura has returned for this. But he's expensive so we can't use him too much.

So let's make this a dual narrative told between Yagami and Kaito sections. They will still interact with each other at certain cutscenes so we get plenty of their nice chemistry but for the main plot they are working on their own. Yagami will team up with Saori and Sugiura at points and Kaito will lean on Hoshino and Tsukumo.

Let's start with Team Yagami. Saori has a case where she must defend a client on a robbery case. Problem is, even tho he's been caught on camera, he INSISTS he was not in Kamurocho at the time of the robbery. And he is not lying. Yet when Saori tries to press him for more info, he clams up. So she conscripts Yagami to do a private background investigation on him.

Meanwhile Kaito is out with Higashi when he sees an old Matsugane family member. He goes over and starts catching up with the guy but he's acting a little weird. He then dies quite suddenly in front of Kaito, the victim of a poisoning. Kaito follows up with the police on this clear murder but they're going to rule it as a choking and close the case. Kaito is immediately suspicious and decides to dig deeper.

From there, the plots will grow more complex as always and introduce a cast of delightful villains to fight. The Health Ministry will be involved. The plots will dovetail at the end where Kaito and Yagami (and Sugi and Higashi and Tsukumo on support drones) will kick major ass 🥰

Thematically it'd tackle the further consequences of the Great Dissolution, including some of the shit that happened in IW, and it'd also explore Kaito's inner life a little more. Yagami's side would have him unpacking a lot of what he went through in LJ. And Saori will NOT have to get dressed up as a hostess. But Hoshino will 😈

[haydenigmatic]

Since I'm feeling a little evil I have an angsty hypothetical ask😈. How would the Ros react if they got married to the mc and they were both super in love

Only for the mc to pretty much ditch them when the mc gets married to someone else. The mc never spends time with them anymore, it's very affectionate ect and very obviously prefers the new person they married 😭

GOOD I LOVE ANGSTY ASKS, THIS WAS SO HEART WRENCHING TO WRITE

ODETTE::

Her heart would shatter in the wake of such a heart-wrenching turn of events. Her once-idyllic love story would be tarnished by the painful reality of feeling abandoned and replaced. While her compassionate nature might initially lead her to suppress her own hurt in favour of supporting MC's choices, the stark contrast in their interactions and the palpable affection MC shows to the new spouse would leave her feeling devastated. Odette would grapple with a tumult of emotions – betrayal, insecurity, and a profound sense of loss. Despite her inner turmoil, she might summon her strength to maintain a composed facade, but the weight of unrequited love and the longing for the connection they once shared would be an ache that lingers deep within her. She would likely confide her turmoil to her journal, the ink capturing the rawness of her emotions in eloquent prose, a private refuge for her shattered heart.

"Love can be a beacon that guides us through the darkest storms, yet when that light fades, it leaves behind a shadow of what once was. My heart, though tested by the tides of change, shall forever remember the love we shared, even if it now feels like a distant echo in the winds of time." 😭

NESRIN:

She would initially mask her hurt and confusion, drawing upon her ability to conceal emotions. While she might maintain her composed exterior, the sharp glint in her eyes might reveal the turmoil within. Privately, she would analyse the situation, questioning her own role and importance in MC's life. Her strategic mind would kick into overdrive as she considers potential motives behind MC's behaviour, meticulously weighing the implications for their relationship. In a moment of vulnerability, she might confront MC discreetly, her voice a mix of controlled disappointment and raw honesty. Her words would be chosen carefully, expressing the depth of her feelings and seeking an explanation for the sudden shift. Nesrin's actions would reflect her determination to understand the situation, and while she may not show it openly, the pain of being sidelined would linger beneath her graceful facade.

"In the intricate dance of power and affection, my steps falter as I find myself relegated to the shadows, watching a symphony of hearts unfold. Tell me, my love, was I but a pawn in this grand design?"😔

VERENA:

Verena would initially mask her pain behind a façade of indifference, her pride preventing her from revealing her true emotions. Internally, a whirlwind of emotions would stir - hurt, betrayal, and a sense of abandonment. Her sharp mind would analyse the situation, identifying the political motivations and potential threats. However, her calculated demeanour might waver as she witnesses MC's affection for the new spouse. She would confront the MC with a mixture of coldness and vulnerability, her voice laced with a hint of bitterness. Her words would hold a subtext of hurt, reflecting her struggle to reconcile her love for MC with the reality of their changed dynamic. As a response, she might distance herself emotionally, rekindling her own political alliances and subtly asserting her independence, refusing to be overshadowed (returning to being the old Verena).

"I see you've found a new favourite pastime, my love. I hope this arrangement serves your ambitions well." 🤧

JASIRA:

Her heart would shatter as the painful reality sinks in. Her once unbreakable bond with MC, now her spouse, feels like a distant memory. The affectionate gestures and intimate moments they once shared are replaced by the cold emptiness of neglect. Jasira's strong-willed nature would initially drive her to confront the situation head-on, questioning MC's actions and seeking answers. Fuelled by a mix of hurt and determination, she might express her feelings of abandonment, refusing to be sidelined. However, she would soon realize that her efforts fall on deaf ears, as MC's focus remains firmly fixed on their new spouse. Struggling to reconcile her feelings, Jasira might withdraw emotionally, her once passionate love turning to a simmering mix of resentment and sadness. Her pride might keep her from begging for attention, yet her heart longs for the return of the affection she once cherished. With a heavy heart, Jasira could find herself at a crossroads, torn between the love she still holds for the MC and the need to prioritize her own well-being and happiness.

"Love that fades so easily was never love at all. Your affections may wane, but my strength remains unshaken. I won't linger in the shadows of your neglect, for I am worth far more than an afterthought."😤

SORIN:

Her heart would shatter as she witnesses MC's affection and attention shift towards their new spouse. A complex mix of hurt, confusion, and disbelief would cloud her expressive green eyes. Her instinctive reaction might be to withdraw, her walls of self-preservation rising higher than ever. She'd struggle with a whirlwind of emotions, torn between confronting the situation and maintaining her pride. Yet, in the quiet solitude of her thoughts, Sorin would grapple with the heartache of feeling replaced, a stark contrast to the once-unbreakable bond they shared.

"Love's betrayal leaves scars deeper than the past. I've learned the price of vulnerability, and I won't surrender my heart again to a fleeting promise." 😠

AURELIA/N:

Aurelia/n's heartache would be palpable as s/he navigates the painful reality of her/his beloved MC's shifting affections. Concealing her/his inner turmoil behind a composed facade, s/he'd continue to carry out her/his duties with unwavering determination. In private moments, her/his eyes might betray the longing s/he feels, and bittersweet smiles would replace the once joyful ones. Her/his conversations with the MC could subtly echo her/his sadness, veiled by a facade of understanding. Despite the ache, Aurelia/n's resilience prevails, allowing her/him to maintain her/his strength and dignity even as her/his heart remains quietly shattered.

"A heart once cherished can't help but ache in the shadows of change." 😥

DORIA/N:

S/he, once deeply in love and now heartbroken, confronts the painful reality with her/his signature stoicism masking a whirlwind of emotions. Underneath her/his tough exterior, resentment simmers as s/he grapples with the overwhelming sense of abandonment. Her/his cynicism intensifies, distrust now colouring her/his view of love. In her/his anguish, s/he adopts a veneer of indifference, determined to protect herself from further hurt. The torment drives her/him to seek solace in fleeting affairs, a tumultuous attempt to cope and perhaps evoke a reaction from MC. A mix of bitterness and longing taints her/his actions, as s/he battles the raw ache of being replaced, her/his heart shattered by the one who was meant to mend it.

"You made a grand show of love, only to trade me like a pawn in your royal game. I should have known affection was just another mask you wear." 😒

HANNIEL:

He would be deeply devastated and heartbroken if he found himself in a marriage with MC, where their once strong love and connection seemed to diminish. His sense of loyalty and unwavering affection for MC would make the situation all the more painful. While he would try to maintain his composed exterior, internally he would be struggling with a whirlwind of emotions. He might feel a mix of confusion, hurt, and a profound sense of loss. His innate sense of self-worth might take a hit as he questions why MC's affection seems to have shifted. He might quietly observe from the sidelines, struggling to reconcile his feelings with the reality of the situation. His sentimentality could lead him to hold onto cherished memories of their past, and he might express his emotions through bittersweet conversations or subtle gestures, desperately longing for a rekindling of the deep bond they once shared.

"I thought our love was a promise, not a fading dream."🥺

DAMON:

Damon's heart would shatter as he witnesses the love he thought was unbreakable crumble before his eyes. He'd be torn between hurt and confusion, struggling to comprehend the sudden distance. Though devastated, he wouldn't give up easily. Damon's determination would drive him to confront MC, seeking answers and fighting for their connection. He'd pour his heart out, expressing his pain and reminding them of the profound bond they once shared. While facing the reality of MC's choices, Damon's love would remain unwavering, and he'd persistently strive to rekindle what was lost, refusing to let go without a fight.

"Love doesn't vanish like a fleeting shadow. Our bond was built on something real, something deeper than passing fancy. I refuse to believe that what we shared has lost its spark. I'll stand in the storm if I must, fight against whatever stands between us. No matter the odds, I won't let go, because my heart is tethered to yours, and I'll fight until it beats as one again."😟

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

for fanfic end of the year asks

16. (you can list them all or give me a count total of the # of stories you wrote this year.)

😈. (My own question). All the ships you wrote this year and the number of times you tagged for each.

Hehehe yaaaay, more questions, thank you! ^_^ (fanfic end of the year asks)

[EDITED on Dec 31, 2023 to account for my insane December writing binge]

16. fic(s) you completed this year

31 fics!!! 7 of those were drabbles (that is, exactly 100 words long, which is what drabble means), 3 of them were written for a challenge that strictly limited the length to 250 words, and the other 21 were one-shots of varying length. I'm grouping them like this because the word count limitations def produces a different style of fic than when I can just write as many words as I need in order to tell the story I want to tell. XD Anyway, I've also included brief notes after each fic title about which fic is which, bc I can never remember my own fic titles so how can I expect you to, lmaooo.

drabbles

wrapped up in books: the mortifying ordeal & hearts on a shelf (Garashir + books)

your move (Garashir + board games)

With a Bow (Garashir + gift giving)

Presence (Garashir pre-slash + The Wire)

waiting in vain (Sloan POV Garashir)

dirty little secret (ITPM Siskarak)

250-word ficlets

intergrown (Kireiko + the trauma of pregnancy)

all the things she said (Kireiko + cheating)

these sordid kinds of things (Kirawinn + power plays)

the rest of my fics

cover your hand with mine (Garashir fake dating to real dating speedrun)

the next thirty (old married Garashir)

on point like a laser (OMB Garashir)

The Inherent Homoeroticism of Citizenship Paperwork (post-canon Garashir + greencard marriage. by me and @sapphosewrites)

Whisper a Dangerous Secret (Garashir + secrets. also by me and sapphose)

home is wherever I'm with you (Garashir + Garak exile angst + Second Skin)

The Chloe Aka Incidents: nothing to hide & only bought this dress so you could take it off (OMB AU feat. holo!Siskarak and Garashir getting together)

save me from the dark (Garashir + mad scientist Julian bringing Garak back to life + The Wire)

the world will never take my heart (Garashir pre-slash + Julian getting beat up by Jem'Hadar + In Purgatory's Shadow/By Inferno's Light)

uninvited (Sloan vs Garak + Garashir)

sleeping with the enemy (Goran'ashir)

a little less alone (Garak/Odo)

conduit (Kirawinn crack fic + sexual religious ceremonies)

nightmare (Sloanshir + noncon somno)

seat of power (one-sided Disko with Dukat wanting desk sex)

physical (Garashir + infirmary sex)

lose the battle, win the war (Sloanshir + Julian letting Sloan fuck him as part of a plan to bring down s31)

don't rain on my parade (Garashir + OMB + airplane sex + so much cum)

the calm after the storm (Garashir getting together + haircuts + post-IPS/BIL)

expectant (Garashir + pregnancy kink + the episode Cardassians)

😈. (My own question). All the ships you wrote this year and the number of times you tagged for each.

Oooh, I love your question 😈 <3 Here's all the ship tags I used on my fics for the year:

Julian Bashir/Elim Garak (21) Elim Garak/Benjamin Sisko (2) Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien (2) Julian Bashir/Luther Sloan (2) Kira Nerys/Winn Adami (2) Dukat/Benjamin Sisko (one-sided) (1) Elim Garak/Odo (1) Julian Bashir/Goran'Agar (1) Elim Garak & Luther Sloan (1) Hippocrates Noah/holo!Elim Garak (1) lowkey unrequited sloanshir (1) (this is the only freeform tag I used this year I'm including, and just because it amuses me ^_^)

[amyreads]

infamous music recs.... oh boy do i have some recs.....

mc/seven:

decode - paramore

ignorance - paramore

your graduation - modern baseball

i know the end - phoebe bridgers

nothing matters - the last dinner party (specifically the "im putting all my bets on you/ i hope they never understand us.")

i dont smoke - mitski

to rage - daughter

break it off - pinkpantheress

summertime - mcr ("you can run away with me/ or you can write it on your arm" 😭 matching tattoos sob)

allies or enemies - the crane wives

(also a bunch of swift songs. it's actually comical)

mc/rowan 😈 (unrequited, obviously)

tears over beers - modern baseball

looking out for you - joy again

so alright, cool, whatever - happy fits

'tis the damn season - taylor swift

WOAHH I love half of these and I will listen to the other half ( i already trust ur judgement) HAHA!

i will listen to all of these and will tell u my thoughts !

(its VERY funny u put decode as a seven song because that song was on repeat when i was creating the character....#greatminds

(helena by mcr was also on repeat)

[rottendollface]

So it's been a while since I logged in here, and I decided to make a special post about what I am writing right now.

1) Request with Ajax #1

Some (not all of course 😈) warnings to give you a little expectations about it: incestuous relationships, family abuse, grooming, breeding kink, blood and flesh magic, pregnancy.

It's gonna be around 20.000 words (the beginning only took 10k), and I'm still redacting plot in some parts I try to stop myself but it happens without my will (just trust me)

2) DONE ✅️ Fic with Strade (Boyfriend to death),

Warnings: killer in love, kidnapping, keeping hostage, physical violence (including torturing), psychological violence, Stockholm syndrome, romanticization.

Well... it's Strade, guys. Nothing else to expect.

Reader had already lost the game when she met Strade. Don't expect proper resistance or rebellion from her.

It's gonna be around 13-15k words (GUYS I JUST SUCK AT PLANNING, I WANTED IT TO BE 2K, BUT I ALREADY HAVE 11K) and released soon.

3) Request with Ajax #2

Warnings: Little Red Riding Hood AU; incestuous relationships, bestiality, forced cannibalism, murderings, body horror.

4) Fic with Zhongli (and Childe?)

Warnings: Human modern AU, Zhongli is a forensic expert and a professor, age gap (20 vs 39), professor × student relationship dynamic, gaslighting, murderings.

It probably will have two endings (depending on my final decision of putting Childe into it), and I still don't know how to write two endings in one post on Tumblr 🤡

5) Fic with Byakuran I just hope khr fandom is alive

Warnings: reader's death, dismembering, unhealthy worship of reader, unrequited love, psychological violence, age gap (reader from the past × 10 year future Byakuran), purity fetish.

Press F to pay respect, the level of gore will be a little less than in fic with Strade

6) Fic with Childe

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, CNC, mentally unstable infected Childe, socially dangerous behavior.

You can guess the ending already...

But wait... what were you doing for this whole time? 🥸

WRITING.

I didn't do it for a while, so I needed some time to:

Remember English ✔️

Get my skill back ✔️

Keep improving my grammar [in process]

Expand my vocabulary [in process]

Learn new things to make my writing better [in process]

I'm a very slow writer, you can't fix me, guys...

I hope I will finish at least 2 or 3 fics from here until the end of the February 🤩

(I forgot my password from AO3 btw 🤡)

[dailynnt]

Pairing: Jungkook with Woman!Reader

Characters: Jung Jungkook, Woman Reader, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin, (these two will only be moments)

Rating: 18*

Orientation: ⚤ Get

Tags: everyday life, male-female friendship, childhood friends, unrequited feelings (only the main character thinks so), alcohol, drunkenness, night club, Jungkook professional boxer, female journalist, virgin main character, first time, indecency, dirty talk , penetration, passionate kisses, drunken sex.

A/N : You and Jungkook were childhood friends. You studied at the same school and spent a lot of time together. But when you both entered university, you lost touch for a while. One day, eve of Choseok, Jungkook offers to meet. After that meeting, you realize that you have fallen in love with your best friend. Because after several years of not communicating, Jungkook changed and became very attractive in every sense. The story will tell about the case when Jungkook and his friends go to a night club to relax, he calls you drunk and offers to join them. This is a very tempting offer for you.

From the author: Hello everyone. I would like to say that this idea has been in my head for a very long time. The idea of Jungkook and Reeder being best friends where she becomes his sober driver one night. I tried to describe her in different situations, but the only thing I came up with is what is described in this story. I am very worried as my writing skill is not very good.

I decided to post a small part the story is for reading and if you like it, I will post the whole story in its entirety. I indicated all the marks, but there will be no smut in the excerpt of the story.

By the way, please note that English is not my native language. If there are any inaccuracies or grammatical errors, don't be too angry with me and give me a indulgence

Please let me know what part of my story you liked or should I continue?

**********

Thinking of your friend and your unrequited feelings, you didn't immediately hear a notification on your phone. When probably 5 messages arrived, you grabbed the gadget.

22.40. Jungkook-ah 🥊:

"Hello, My Heart one. You're awake?"

23.43. Jungkook-ah 🥊:

"Hey My Heart one, don't you want to join us? I saw that you were watching our stories with the boys 😉"

23.44. Jungkook-ah 🥊:

"Hey!! Why are you ignoring me? You couldn't fall asleep so quickly 😤"

23.45. Jungkook-ah 🥊:

"Dear!! Come to us with the boys. Jimin is really asking me to persuade you to come "

23.47. Jimin-shi😈:

“Actually Y/N I think you should come over because Jungkook is talking about you all night 😏🤫”

Your eyes will increase from the number of SMS from friends. Jungkook's "Heart ones" hit the very in youre heart, so you felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You opened Jungkook's message to reply as his name flashed on the screen.

23. 50. Jungkook-ah 🥊 (incoming call)

"Hello" - you picked up the phone. Your palms were instantly sweaty.

"Hello My Heart ones. You're awake?" - Jungkook's voice was deep and lazy. He chuckled lightly. It seems he was drunk.

"I'm not sleeping Jungkook" - you say kindly.

"You saw I wrote to you. Come to us. I miss you and we will have more fun."

"But aren't you already having fun without me?" - you asked with a smile. Jungkook sensed your sarcasm and laughed too.

"Hahaha, we're really having fun, but if you came, it was really merriment ." - in the background you could hear music and sounds of cars. Jungkook must have gone outside to call you.

"Merriment?!" - you repeated laughing. "I will never believe that you can't get gaiety without me? Jungkook, I already took a bath and in bed. Do you think I'll want to get out of it after a very hard day?"

“Oh Y/N did you have a bad day? Then you should definitely come to us!"

"Yes, but..."- you didn't have time to finish as Jeongguk suddenly asked.

"Hey wait did you say you're in bed now?" - you heard Jungkook's deep voice.

"Yes"

"How can you lie in bed alone?

"So what?"

"Wouldn't you like to have someone by your side?" - your eyes widened. Jungkook hasn't flirted with you this openly before.

"What do you mean dear?"- you tried to give confidence your voice.

“I mean you should come to our club and find a good candidate for the night. Come on, My Heart ones, you are already a grown-up girl. You and I talked about it a lot." - you forgot how to speak for a while. All the words seemed to fly out of your head. There was silence for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, my friend, but for some reason I have absolutely no desire to find a boyfriend right now."

"I know you better than anyone and I feel you need to relax." - silence fell between the two of you. You tried to find an answer but Jungkook broke the silence.

"Come to me." - inside you, everything seems to have broken off. This request sounded so desperate.

"Did you miss me that much?" - you wanted to joke.

"Damm. I missed you to hell.” Jungkook said.