#me when music i like comes on: wow i like this music :)
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The Beach City Reunion
Summary: Follows up fanfiction 'Spikes' Y/N returns to the beach city grill after 5 years. Meeting Priestly who has been going through a break up with Tish.
Warning: none
English isn't my first language
Please do not copy my work. Likes/Share/Comments are appreciated.
Y/N hadn’t set foot in Beach City Grill in five years. The place looked mostly the same—faded posters of bands on the walls, the familiar hum of music in the background, and the faint smell of fries and grilled burgers wafting through the air. But as she walked in, scanning for any trace of the old Priestly, her eyes caught on someone who almost looked like him… but not quite.
He was wearing a plain blue button-down shirt, his once vibrant, spiked hair now a subdued shade of brown with a matching beard, smoothed down to an almost painfully ordinary style. She blinked, wondering if she was imagining things.
“Priestly?!” she called out, half-questioning, half in disbelief.
He turned, and when he saw her, his face lit up like a firework. Before she could react, he was around the counter, pulling her into a warm hug.
“Y/N!” he said, grinning. “Wow, look at you! You’ve… changed!” She laughed, pulling back to look at him. “Me? Look at you! W-what happened?”
They slipped into one of the booths, and for a moment, Y/N couldn’t stop staring. She missed the wild, bold Priestly she’d once adored, and this version of him looked like he’d been smothered in beige.
He gave her a sheepish look, glancing down at his shirt. “Tish happened. She, uh, liked me better like this. Thought I should look ‘respectable’—whatever that means. I guess she thought I was only worth dating if I, well, dressed ‘normal.’ So I tried it for her, figured it was worth it if it made her happy.”
Y/N listened quietly, seeing a flicker of embarrassment and something else—something lost—in his eyes.
“Anyway,” he continued, rubbing the back of his neck, “we broke things off a couple of months ago. She said I’d come back ‘begging for another chance,’ but… I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I realized I just don’t know who I am anymore. Lost myself somewhere along the way.”
She nodded, giving him a small, understanding smile. “Sometimes, you think someone’s worth changing for. But if it means you stop being you…” She trailed off, knowing he’d get it.
Priestly chuckled, a hint of his old spark showing through. “Yeah, funny to hear that coming from you."
She grinned, and he noticed a faint edge of her old punk style still shining through—rings on her fingers, a subtle black eyeliner that gave her an edge, But the spiked choker was gone and changed for a leather jacket.
“So,” he said, leaning in with a warm smile, “what about you? How’s life been since you flew the coop?”
She shrugged, feeling a mix of nostalgia and excitement bubble up. “A lot’s changed. I went to college, didn't finish, moved around a bit. I’ve grown up, well a little. Showed up at your doorstep.”
Priestly gave her a look—one of admiration, maybe even a touch of envy. “I’m glad you came back. You look good, Y/N. Like… like you didn’t lose yourself along the way, you grew, literally and figuratively, I like it.”
She felt her cheeks heat, but she kept her gaze steady. “Priestly, the guy who always makes a girl feel special." She smiles softly before adding, "I aways thought you were amazing just the way you were.”
His eyes softened, and for the first time in a long time, he looked like he believed her.
“Maybe it’s time to bring a little of that guy back,” he said, giving her a lopsided grin. “The boring brown hair and button-downs were never really me anyway.”
They both laughed, the sound filling the grill as if nothing had changed at all. And as they sat there, catching up and reconnecting, Priestly felt like he was finally waking up from a long, colorless dream.
Y/N could feel Tish’s glare burning into them as she leaned across the counter to pay, with a mischievous smile. “Why don’t I take you shopping after your shift?” she suggested, tapping her fingers playfully on the countertop. “It’d be nice to catch up… and maybe ditch the corporate look. Show a little more of those tattoos again?”
Priestly glanced at Tish, who was shooting them daggers from across the room, and then shrugged with a little smile. “Yeah, yeah, why not?” he replied, his eyes lighting up. “I’ll see you at five.”
By the time they hit the first store, Y/N was buzzing with excitement. She dragged Priestly to every section, picking out things that she knew he would’ve rocked a few years back. A leather jacket here, a pair of torn jeans there. She even managed to dig up a kilt, holding it out with a grin that made him snort.
“Y/N,” he said, chuckling as he held the kilt up in disbelief, “I can’t wear this. Not anymore. I feel like a kid playing dress-up.”
Y/N’s grin softened. “You’re in your thirties, Priestly. Maybe a kilt isn’t the answer anymore,” she admitted, leaning against the wall of the dressing room. She looked at him thoughtfully, eyes gleaming with an idea. “But… do you trust me?”
He raised an eyebrow but nodded. “Alright. Go ahead, show me what you’ve got.”
Y/N set the kilt aside and walked over to a different rack, pulling out a pair of dark, well-fitted jeans and handing him a plain grey t-shirt. She added a pair of heavy black combat boots and a leather jacket to the ensemble. “Just try these,” she said, “I think you’ll be surprised.”
Priestly emerged from the dressing room a few minutes later, his expression shifting from skepticism to something closer to acceptance. He turned to her, hands stuffed in his pockets, giving her a shy, crooked grin. “Not bad, right?”
“Oh wow, not bad at all,” Y/N said, giving him a once-over feeling her cheeks burn. The jeans hugged his frame well, and the boots added a sturdy, rugged vibe. The t-shirt was simple, but it all brought back a hint of the old Priestly’s edge without trying too hard.
But she wasn’t done yet. “Alright,” she said with a wink, “one last stop.”
She drove him to a nearby barber she’d found online, and before he could protest, she leaned close, whispering her instructions into the barber’s ear.
"Oh and keep the beard." she said walking back outside. Priestly gave her a mock look of fear, but he settled into the chair, trusting her, despite his nerves.
A half hour later, Priestly emerged from the barber’s chair with his hair freshly styled. The sides were clipped short, but the top was left a little longer and tousled. No more mohawk, but it was still a look with personality—classic yet cool, modern but still a bit rebellious.
He caught his reflection in the mirror, running a hand through his hair, and let out a slow breath.
--
Y/N's heart hammered as she watched Priestly walk toward her, his new look transforming him into a vision of the guy she’d fallen for as a teenager—familiar but grown up, rugged and effortlessly cool. She felt her old crush flare to life, burning through her like it had all those years ago. But now, she was older, and so was he, and the spark between them didn’t feel so impossible anymore.
While he’d been getting his hair cut, she’d slipped out to pick up a few finishing touches—things that would bring back a hint of the punk style they’d once shared. As he approached, she held out a heavy, silver chain and a studded leather belt. With a grin, she hooked the chain to his jeans, her fingers brushing against him as she added the belt.
But then, she pulled out something else—a small, worn leather bracelet with faded band logos, the same one he’d given her years ago in the Beach City Grill. She held it up, a little shy but determined, and carefully slipped it back onto his wrist, fingers lingering on the familiar worn leather.
Priestly looked down, his eyes widening. “You… you kept it?” His voice was soft, filled with something she couldn’t quite name.
Y/N nodded, feeling her cheeks heat as she looked up, meeting his gaze. “Of course I did. You were... well, it was special to me.” she said almost looking nervous.
Priestly looked at her, "How old are you now?" She still looked at him, his green eyes piercing her waiting for an answer. "I- Eh... 21." Priestly looked over her in the distance, clearly counting in his head.
They stood there in silence, the air thick while she waited for his reaction, still holding his wrist in her hands, feeling something electric. Her heart pounded so loudly she thought he must be able to hear it.
But before her nerves could make her say something stupid, Priestly reached out, cupping the back of her head, his fingers threading through her hair pulling her closer.
He leaned down, his gaze searching hers for a split second, and then his lips brushed against hers, soft and warm, then deeper, like he’d been waiting for this moment as long as she had. The world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them—two people who’d found their way back to each other after years apart.
Y/N knew that what she had been waiting for ever since she was 16 was finally here. Priestly saw her, not as a teenage girl with a crush. But as a woman.
When they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers, still holding her close. "I did say 'maybe in a few years' didn't I?"
She laughed softly, feeling her heart swell.
“Welcome back, Priestly.”
--
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"Erm if you remove (thing that makes a scene/character cool/exciting/interesting) then that (scene/character) is actually no longer (cool/exciting/interesting)
#this is Mostly about when someone said the scene in crystalized where the allies come together is less exciting w/o the music .#like i think - and hear me out - the music in a scene is meant to elevate a scene and/or build the entire atmosphere .#WOW !!!#raine's rambles#ninjago
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Facial Expressions: Sans
Hey look, it's some of my first drawings of Sans from all the way back in March! They're... kind of terrible, aren’t they? I've kinda been beating myself up on how bad my art is compared to other people lately, so it was good to look back and realize that at least I'm better than I was only 7 months ago. I still kind of suck, but at least I don't suck as much as I used to.
Also, can we please please please make the blue and yellow gradient thing for Sans's eye more common, because it looks so freaking cool. Plus, yellow is a bright and warm color so it's more likely to help draw people's eyes to it without you having to make his eye all flamey.
Maybe I should do more of these with other Undertale characters and some of my OCs. Of course, you would have to see the nightmare fuel my first attempt at drawing Papyrus was...
#my art#undertale#sans#practice makes progress#if you suck at something now#don't feel bad#because if you practice you'll suck less later#looking through my sketchbook makes me laugh at younger me sometimes#same thing when I listen to some of my older music#aaa my style keeps changing#I swear half the reason my brain has come up with a dozen undertale aus#is just so I can do a new style for each one#like how I gave my steamtale papyrus sharper edges#just because I was a bit tired of the rounder shapes I use for him#plus lore reasons 'cause he's not allowed to emote with his mouth#neither is steamtale sans#wow this is a lot of tags sorry
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Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story
#I was Pomni it was literally Pomni POV#Caine had cooked up some sporty adventure and I was like Ummm...... no#So I found a glitch where I could hide in a technically out-of-bounds area#I had a theory that if I stayed super close to the ground I wouldn't be in the range of Caine's mod powers or whatever#Some random girl was w me I don't think she was important#Anyways I started thinking “This could hurt. When they leave#the map will not have to exist.”#I'd be crushed by the nonexistence of the area I'm in. When they come back I'll load in somewhere slightly different#and be stuck in the walls."#DIDN'T HAPPEN everything was OK#But at some point I was like man... sure is boring and scary. Sure wish my friends were here.#So I ended up finding them anyway LMAO#I told them what happened cuz they were obviously concerned and Caine got his feelings hurt???#Like. surprising moment of clarity. Everyone was shocked and uncomfortable.#Bro was like “I try so hard for U guys 🥺 I just don't get it. Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to stay home??”#Most everyone was like IDC UR OUR JAILER!! CRY ABT IT!! but me and Ragatha were coerced into pity...#Like yeah whatever. Sorry man. I'll be honest next time and not do things that could make me die. I think we were just caught off-guard.#Exchanging glances like “Wow... didn't know he could feel anything!” Like imagine if ur Furby just had an emotional outburst#and felt remorse abt it. WYD.#I think we held his hands or sum cuz all my dreams end like a Barbie movie#Episode ended and I was like Wow :) Great show#Sorta off-topic but the cafeteria today started playing very quiet carnival music for Hoco and I literally felt chills up my back cuz#I had been thinking abt Pommy all day...#I used to be enraptured by clown motif what happened#Did I throw it up#For the best...... for the best.
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most of the time i feel like im just an average person like i know im really lucky to be living my dreams working a job i love in the city i always wanted to live in like i know im a very lucky and privileged person bc most ppl don’t get any of that but most of the time i also forget it’s not just that like most ppl in my hometown never get out and don’t even go to college and like even in my family im still the only one to ever attend university and move to the city which is just crazy like it’s so crazy to me to think im not really average specially not where i come from which is idk so weird
#like we ran into this neighbour yesterday and he literally said he talked to his son abt how i went to college and now im living in the#city as some success story and as if that was something so extraordinary and it’s like. omg#like it was all just natural to me study a lot get into a good college get a job in the music industry move to the city#like i never gave it much thought i just did what i had to so to me it was never like this Huge thing any of it#and my mom was also telling me abt how her friends always bring me up in conversation to talk abt how ‘great’ i am while their children#just aren’t like 😭#like idk i just don’t really think of myself#so when me and my life are brought it’s like . wow ok#like in uni moving and going to college was the norm and in the city i meet so many ppl who moved to pursue their dreams everyday so#its also become the norm to me#so when im remembered it’s not the norm at all where i come from is crazy
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listening to epic the musical from start to finish and then having it replay is insane every time we get a new saga. at first it was just monster -> the horse and the infant, and now it’s thunderbringer -> the horse and the infant - and you’re really left to realize that he IS just a man :-(
#epic the musical#i hear ‘’when does a man become a monster’’ in thunderbringer#two songs later on my loop listen just a man comes on…#like OH thats my musical motif…#and the double meaning of ‘’i see a man who gets to make it home alive but its no longer you’’ dawned on me earlier#wow.
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Actually getting my adhd nonsense medicated is single handedly one of the best things I've ever done for myself
#i just. i feel so much calmer and less overwhelmed by everything#i come home from work and i actually want to DO things and I'm not tired 90% of the time#i sat down and started using my sewing machine for cosplay stuff yesterday. i might even cook dinner this week#things feel. manageable. and when I'm at work and things go wrong i can now very clearly hear the voice in the back of my mind#that's like ''this is not my fault and i won't pressure myself to fix it''#cool unintended consequence is that I'm now barely using youtube + a neopets ripoff site bc i feel bored with them?#haven't been listening to music at work either which is. genuinely insane of me#but uhhhhh yeah i think I'm experiencing the world the way you're supposed to and. wow#it feels like there's restraints on my emotions and while nothing devastatingly bad has happened since i started#I'm wondering if being sad won't feel like I'm in a meatgrinder; this is. huge so far#shai speaks
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Taylor Swift filed a trademark for “Female Rage: The Musical.”
ok if that’s true that pisses me off on so many levels lmfao. i was already mad abt her saying that but for her to go that far w it. first of all i am a huge fan of female rage music and her new album is not even remotely female rage and she is so out of touch to think that it is. her album is entirely too self focused and specific to her that it cannot possibly be within that genre bc it’s not relatable on a base level to other women exclusively it’s only relatable to her. there is female rage music abt exes but she doesn’t remotely accomplish that bc it’s not abt general mistreatment of women or even personal experiences that are relatable within the realm of misogyny. she is writing exclusively abt her to the point where it is ridiculously specific and then claiming that to be some sort of recognizable female experience. she can’t just say i think my music is this genre :) and have it be true. like ok you are mad but that doesn’t make it female rage it’s just taylor’s rage. and most of the music is not even rage. so the fact that she would call it that in the first place and then have the audacity to trademark it…..girl you don’t have a right to claim female rage music in the first place let alone take that away from other women. it is just a showing of her lack of class solidarity on multiple levels bc she first makes music unrelatable on an female class solidarity level & then trademarks the idea of it to bar it from use by other women. i know it’s just in the context of that specific phrase but the fact that she is taking away the ability of anyone else to use that concept is just so. she is so ignorant for this lol.
#truly i am so neutral abt her but when she does stuff that is stupid af i’m like girl. u could just be normal.#this one just struck a particular cord bc it’s one of my fave genres of music when done well & i did not once while listening to her new#album be like wow this is sooooo female rage. the only song that comes close is who’s afraid of little old me. but it’s admittedly corny 😭#anonymous#ask //
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ohhhhh she wants to be mentally ill REAL bad
#being vague so the swif//ties don’t come for me#but i just saw gifs from one of the new music videos ig??????#it’s giving wannabe emilie autumn#like oh wow you’re so edgy#and just comparing the two. one artist with so many songs about her trauma and the mistreatment of women/mentally ill women#and then ms i’m sane i don’t need therapy#suddenly she’s insane and taking pills and being locked up#also i feel the need to add since i mentioned her#emilie autumn is problematic for a bunch of her own reasons#but damn at least she’s actually mentally ill#tay is just a weak imitation when she actually has the privilege to not understand what it’s like
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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gorizilla was such a good episode like easily top five in the show
#the ladrien 'you have to trust me!' 'always' scene#the lucky charm marinette gave adrien coming back#the king kong reference#love it love it love it#also the 'he'll show up. i trust him' cue adrien blushing#THE FINAL SCENE WHEN ADRIEN AND GABE ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE AND THE CAMERAS PANS DOWN AND SHOWS THE LAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IT WAS#INSANE LIKE YOU ABSOLUTELY HAD TO BE THERE#THE BACKGROUND MUSIC DURING THAT SCENE CHANGING#WOW#miraculous ladybug#ml#mlb
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Me: I don't like Cats the musical. You could not pay me to ever see it live.
Perelman Performing Arts Center: We're doing a version of Cats inspired by ballroom culture!
Me: Ok... that's definitely interesting... I could be into it... but NO still you can't make me want to see it.
PAC: Here's some rehearsal footage of the cast vogueing to Jellicle Ball!
Me: ...I hate that this actually is working... it fits a little too well...
PAC: Also André De Shields is playing Old Deuteronomy!
Me: ...Why must satan tempt me in this way...
#by satan i mean alw#i must say generally i have nothing but love for people who perform in cats (minus the movie. or i guess minus like 75% of the movie cast)#when i watched the 98 version i was like 'wow every single person on this stage is a quadruple threat'#since they could all dance and sing and act and do tricks too#and i adore the original costume and make-up design. totally genius. oh and the set design too.#i always just say that the cast and crew deserve a better show#i've even gone as far as to dive into documentaries about the making of cats and stuff. i still just can't get into it.#i know people love it and i love that for them. i too love weird musicals. just not this one unfortunately.#maybe in this new setting for this production i'd enjoy the show more#and boy is it trying to get me to go and see it. truly that vogueing video. i was so mad.#it was like me watching Solo and seeing them fix the kessel run mistake.#i was like 'NO. no. i'm mad. no. i hate that this is fixed. no. i'm so angry.' when i realized how they were fixing it.#like cool this is better but god i'm mad at the fact that this is better#maybe in august or if it extends AGAIN i'll go and see it. but at least for this first month of performances i won't see it#i wouldn't want to feel like i'm taking away a ticket from an actual fan who already loves the show#while i'd be going mostly to see if they can change my mind about the show#(ALSO. i did not tag this as anything. so no coming at me saying i'm putting hate in a tag)#(if this post shows up in searches then that's tumblr's fault for changing how searches and tagged posts work)#(this is barely hate this is just me being mad while complimenting artistic choices. but even if it was hate i'm still not tagging hate.)#(so don't come at me)
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listening to the national is so dangerous because you'll be enjoying it right. because it's good music. and then . and then...... the Sadness gets u....... whadda hell how could this have happened ot Me...... why would they do that to me personally.
#what do you MEAN i keep coming back here where everything slipped but i will not spill my guts out#what do you fucking MEANNNNNN i'm having trouble inside my skin i'll try to keep my skeletons in i'll be a friend and a#fuck up and everything but i'll never be anything you ever want me to be!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT MR THE NATIONAL !!!!!!!#''i won't need any help to be lonely when you leave me'' <- you wretched beast whyy would u write that. and croon so sweetly#in my ear too. awful awful awful i love it i understand those religious zealots that say music is the work of the devil#and that's just one song. that i played on repeat for thirty minutes straight bc i like it a normal amount. they have more songs to torture#me with if u can believe it like.... wow . such evil in the world. packs up my soapbox and then goes and listens to them while#staring at the wall#trouble will find me is one of those albums that just like . it's just. How Did They Do That.... grinding my teeth to nubs while listening#as god intended. or whatever
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hi! i wasnt on all day yesterday WAHAHAHAH but uhm. rambles. in the tags <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#aka. back to Updates Of Apollo's Life#spoiler alert it's not super interesting. ANYWAYS MY COUSINS ARE THE CUTEST !!!!!#yesterday was really fun bcs wow i love my lil cousins! so weird to be the oldest alongside lune but yeah <3#AND. uhm. i forgot a lot of what i wanted to ramble about since yesterday but i was so tboy swag yesterday#if you get what i mean. yeah <33 AND vc and waching w my besties mwah hannah montana so true !!!!!#and i am also now back into deep fe3h brainrots but also still deep into milgram. so that is that#AND okay. idk what else#i uhh edited my rentry? interests! made it back into a rentry instead of a txti (gna use that txti for smth else now maybe?) <3#i've gotten over (mostly) my (mostly jokeful) distate when it comes to this certain media (music!)#also listened to more music hehe. AND i fixed my spotify#AND i want to finally play that cute cat (and dog?) collecting (chinese?) game i wanted to play ever since an old moot#who isnt here anymore (as far as i'm concerned. NOT IN A CONCERNING WAY BTW i mean they deactivated)#once told me about it! i installed it way back then but i didn't have the time... now i really want to again so <3#hm. that was smth i wanted to share yeah. fixing my spotify more <33#AND +. i forgot right after thinking about it ffs why am i LIKE THIS.#i forgor :(( why am i like thisssss SOBBING..........#oh right nvm i just remembered HELP ANYWAYS i've been looking at more gdocs templates and shit again#uhh. i should one day finally do proper notion stuff </3 and fix my notes <//3 fix everything tbh <///3#<- i say that and will likely never get to doing so. WHABJEGHBJS sobbing.#but yeah i will be doing more oc stuff... or something. and fixing my themes soon as well!#sorry zero ily but i want mikoto or smth idk. you stayed for 10 days. ily babe. uhm. BUT I WNA#get back to my emil or zero theme sometime in the future bcs i didn't finish em? so when i'm fixated ???#on drakenier (dod3/replicant) again. uhm. yeah.#okay that's all i hope you all are doing WELL!! <33#now time for my next class in a bit! uhm. i meant to watch the video my teacher uploaded oops. aha#also !!! proseka !!!!! uh idk where i was going w that. but. proseka !!!!! ig <3
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I saw the mario movie!! I liked it a lot!!!
#urusai majou#it was really cute and charming!!#the animation was INSANELY beautiful like holy wow#and I was not expecting it to reference as many things as it did! like#they referenced smash bros?#they referenced the super show?#THEY REFERENCED STUPID MARIO BROS???#that one almost made me gasp audibly like. I was one of the og fans of that show back when I was like 14#and I super wasn't expecting it to come up in the official nintendo-licensed mario movie but ohhhmygosh#and the music! I was p worried it'd be like. modern radio-friendly pop songs haha#but no! half of it was orchestral remixes of the games' osts and the other half was 80's music!#YOU KNOW. FROM WHEN THE FIRST GAME CAME OUT. loved that little detail so much haha#the whole movie slapped honestly. it was so much fun#oh oh also!!! I survived the ENTIRE movie in my binder!!!#which is a HUGE deal for me bc like. I have massive sensory issues with tight clothing#like the only reason I even bought the binder was so I could acclimatise to it for dealing with the bandages after top surgery#the longest I'd worn it before tonight was like 15 minutes and I just managed it for two hours#so this has been a big big day for your pal al haha
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first sober night in awhile and im not itchin for weed or alchie and am instead remembering the things that make my blood pump day after day
#🍒#colors ✅ art of all mediums ✅ music ✅ love ✅ my beautiful boyfriend ✅ the occult ✅ the unknown ✅ the stars and sky and moon in particular ✅#poetrt ✅ prose ✅ fun fashion i dont feel compelled to conform to ✅ funnie jokes ✅ friends ✅ peaceful times not self forced or worried bout#understanding ✅ learning ✅ not understanding but knowing i can if i keep going ✅ memories of things that bring me joy ✅#i could do this all damn day. love the world when im not obsessed with consuming substances. who woulda thunk#even w out weed / alchie when i was taking my adderall i couldnt relax like this or feel like this#:3 im learning to be more in tune w my body and the world around me. including aspects of the world we cant see :3#how amazing is that… a few years ago rn i was in and out of inpatient slittin my wrists left and right drinkin a bottle of cough syrup a day#and now. well i still do get urges to cut once a cutter always a cutter. but i just dont do it anymore.#hmmmm this post got deeper than i meant for it to#oh well ill post it anyways but be careful ig lol#i just think its neat what you can achieve when u just listen to what you think and feel as you navigate the world. just listen for awhile.#then take action after feeling ur feelings and thinking your thoughts and letting them take their course and weed out what’s temporary n not#hmmm this post IS a diary entry maybe i shouldnt post. no i will ill come back and see this post one day and go :3 wow. im even better now!
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