#me saying i wasn't going to do this. y'know. like a Liar

[zukosdualdao]

i'm a worst case kid / in a plague pit town

zutara month, day 1: reluctant allies

summary: ever-slight canon-divergence in which zuko accepts katara's offer to heal iroh after feeling his too-weak, dying pulse, as his injury is bad enough zuko is unsure he will survive otherwise. not much else changes. it was never going to.

warnings: canon-typical depictions of injury, violence, and trauma responses.

other notes: title is a lyric taken from tommy lefroy's "worst case kid". starting pov is zuko's, ending pov is katara's. two pieces of dialogue are directly taken from the show.

*

The wind is whistling in this dry, abandoned, dead town, dead like—

Zuko does not shiver, and he does not cry.

He used to be able to tell himself things like that and mean it. When did that stop being true?

Uncle’s pulse is so faint, for a moment, he thinks it isn’t there at all. Even when he feels it, he knows it might as well not be. He might not have long at all.

Zuko hears the other footsteps approaching, their silence loud and almost mournful, but he bristles on instinct. They can’t see him like this, can’t see Uncle like this—how could he be so stupid as to turn his back on the enemy? 

“Get away from us!” he shouts as he looks back. They’re all staring at his uncle’s prone form, and Zuko turns back to him, too, heaving heavy breaths. He needs to do something, but he is weak, useless, outnumbered—

“Zuko, I can help,” the waterbender insists, and Zuko wants to snarl, yell, reach for his fire, and he raises his hand to do so—and frowns. 

What does she mean?

He looks back to where Uncle lies prone.

A heartbeat shouldn’t feel like that. The Dragon of The West shouldn’t go down so easily.

Uncle shouldn’t be able to seem so small and worn and fragile.

Slowly, Zuko lowers his hand and looks to her striking blue eyes. There’s no pity or malice there, he doesn’t think, she just looks… still cautious and unyielding, but sad and sincere, too.

He’s fallen for tricks like this before, though—Azula has always loved how easily she could fool him—and it feels a little like he’s standing on the edge of a steep precipice.

It would be naive to just… trust the word of an enemy. She has no reason to want to help him. He knows this.

The rest of them still watch his uncle’s maybe-dying form, but the waterbending girl stares at Zuko unflinchingly, almost as though in challenge.

Uncle groans brokenly, the noise like that of a wounded animal. 

“How?”

*

The world is dead silent.

The prince of the Fire Nation is staring at her with tears threatening to fall from his right eye, though not the left, which is twitching lightly. She’s never before noticed how he can’t seem to open it fully due to the scar tissue set against it. She’s never had much reason to take in his features as anything more than the face of their enemy. 

His gaze is still steely and untrusting. In this light, his scar looks violently red and painful. He asks after her offer with a voice that cracks, though he doesn’t seem to pay that any heed. His hair is short but growing in, and he’s traded out his Fire Nation attire for earthly green and brown robes. He looks so different from when they last saw him. 

He looks so… young.

It’s all a little bizarre.

“Be careful, Katara,” Sokka insists from behind her, though when she glances back, his focus is on Iroh, a complicated expression playing on his features. Aang is staring at him, too, eyes wide and verging on teary. She doesn’t yet know Toph very well, but Katara can tell her body is rigid, her feet tense as her toes curl into the dusty ground beneath them. Toph doesn’t know that Iroh has been their enemy. But Iroh also helped them at the North Pole, and again just now against that princess, Zuko’s sister, she supposes, with her calculating eyes and strange blue fire.

Katara nods but says nothing further. If Zuko was going to make a move against them, he could have done it when his sister vanished.

They had turned away from their futile attack against her, and he’d already been kneeling at his uncle’s side.

She approaches slowly, circling to the side opposite him. When she kneels and reaches for her waterskin, Zuko nearly growls and takes hold of the edge of Iroh’s sleeve tightly, like he might try to drag him away.

“I’m not going to hurt him,” Katara says, flush with indignation. The dirt beneath her chafes her knees even through her clothing. “I need space to heal.”

“I’m not moving, so forget it.”

Katara tilts her head and looks into his eyes as he glares back. He now looks every bit the angry, hateful prince that had tracked them around the world for months, but she can see something else filtering through his expression, too, something like fear.

She almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of it. Why should he be afraid of them?

“Fine,” she allows after a moment. “Just don’t get in the way.”

He nods tightly, and at the agreement, Katara opens her waterskin. She calls the water to her and sets it against Iroh’s the right side of his chest, his robes black and charred. Closing her eyes, she calls out to his chi and focuses her energy on it. She doesn’t know if she can do it, doesn’t know if Iroh is truly too far gone…

After a few long moments, his breathing evens, and Katara sighs. Across from her, Zuko’s features soften just a fraction, but when she meets his eyes, somehow, she knows exactly what they both are thinking, united in nothing but this.

It doesn’t change anything, Katara's thoughts insist as her friends draw closer. Zuko tenses again. It can’t.

[osachiyo]

MEN WHO WOULD ! go drunk from the taste of your pussy. He'd be soooo reluctant to go down on you at first because apparently "it would make him look pathetic if his friends knew". But once he actually gets between your plush thighs, staring at the sticky material of your lacy panties dampening with each nip on the soft flesh, it's like he does a completely 180. His tongue would be licking you through the soaked material of your panties, just savouring your flavour before actually diving in. He'd slowly take it off, slipping them in his pockets for 'later use' , he tells you. But you can't focus on anything he's saying right now, you're just so fucking needy. So you cut him off mid sentence, yanking him down by his hair, shoving your cunt in his handsome face. His eyes widen from the sudden act, grabbing your soft thighs for stability as he finally indulges you, properly. He'd slowly lick a fat stripe up your juicy cunt, making you tighten your grip on his soft locks as he whines lowly, tightening his grip on your thighs. "God, fuck you taste good..mmh-" He knows he shouldn't talk with his mouth full but damn, he was gonna get addicted at this point.

It's been several fucking hours since he's been eating you out. It also wasn't helping how you were getting more and more sensitive with each toe curling orgasm from his greedy mouth on your pussy. He was fucking high off of it, his eyes rolling back from the taste. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease- 'can't handle it no more- 's too much!" You sobbed, trying to thrash around and kick your legs but to no avail, his grip was tight. His other hand came up to your lower tummy, pressing on the soft flesh to pin you down as he had his meal. You shouldn't be interrupting him, y'know? "Just one more, honey..take it for me, okay? I know you can, you're such a good fuckin' girl for me, aren't you?" Just one more. He's been saying that for the last thirty minutes. God, he was such a bad liar, but you believed him every time.

GOJO, choso, ITADORI, yuuta, SCARAMOUCHE, childe, heizou, LEVI, mammon, mephistopheles, BAJI, rindou, mushitaro & ur faves.

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡

[transmascaraa]

Hi!!! Im not used to requesting but i just thought of this, could you write a scenario where the reader, does the trend where you pretend to pet a dog/cat like you drag your hand over there head like your about to pet them, but you dont? and they lean into it and dont understand what your doing? i hope you get what i mean!! sorry if i was unclear... 💗💗

(with gorou, itto, lyney, tighnari, maybe neuvilette or zhongli?? and anyone else you want)

multiple characters headcannons!

not petting them.

characters: lyney, gorou, itto, tighnari, neuvillette, zhongli x gn!reader

author's note: ofcccc i think that's a really cute idea!! especially with the specific characters you requested lol hope you enjoy

♡ Lyney

-it is pure evil doing this to him

-you slide your hand over his head and just keep it there.

-he leans into it confusedly.

-"what are you doing?" with his pully dog eyes.

-"nothing, why?" you boldly reply.

-he thought you were about to let him.

-so he just stops leaning into your hand and does the same to you, keeping his hand over your head like that.

-"what?" you ask him.

-"how does it feel to not be petted properly?"

-you just put his hand back down and kiss him on the cheek, telling him it's a prank.

-he just goes red for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿⁠ Gorou

-also pure evil that you're doing this to an actual dog(i would too)

-so just randomly in the day, you come to him, who is in the living room on the couch.

-"need anything?" he asks.

-"no." and that's when you looked as if you were gonna pet him, but you didn't.

-after a few seconds of just staring at eachother while he leans his head into your hand, his tail wagging slowly— he questions you:

-"hm? you can pet me, i don't bite, do i?"

-"nope, wasn't even planning to." and you put your hand back down.

-"you're really mean, y'know?" he says irritatedly.

-"mhm." and you pat him on the head just then.

-he might be a bit sassy throughout the day but not like it bothers you lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⑅ Itto

-never written for this guy yet but ok i hope he doesn't turn out ooc or smthn

-so, you go up to him once, talk a bit.

-js everyday talk as if you're not planning to do this to him rn

-and you finally do it, leaving your hand above his head, only brushing against his horns faintly.

-he leans into it, confused about what the hell you're doing.

-"what's that supposed to mean? are you trying to trick ME? the ONE and ONI itto?"

-"no, i didn't want to pet you."

-"liar, liar, pants on fire. i've already seen that trend!" so he did the same to you, trying to mock you.

-"it wasn't the trend-" you try justifying yourself but he cuts you off—

-"then what, you just randomly float your hand above my head? what's that supposed to be? a ufo? i don't think so!!" sassy idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Tighnari

-he doesn't keep up with the trends at all so you're kinda safe with doing it to him

-so you do it while he's researching something

-some plant idk

-and you come to his room all of a sudden.

-"what do you want? i'm a bit busy now...." he says while giving you a slight smile from his desk.

-"nothing at all, don't worry." so you come up to him and drag your hand over his head, him thinking you'd pet him for being hardworking.

-"why don't you pet me, hm? something wrong?" he's so fucking confused

-"nope, everything's fine." you can't stand to see him so needy of you petting him so you actually pet him.

-"thank you. now go, i hope it's not another trend you're doing."

-"well........... about that—"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☆ Neuvillette

-he'd be the most confused out of all these guys(excluding itto)

-he was working on some papers with you near him, as you usually do.

-sharing a few words here and there, and then you just act as if you'd pet him (which you ofc don't do)

-"hm? love? what are you doing?" he raises his head from his papers and looks at you instead.

-"nothing."

-"you can pet me if you want?.." he slowly takes your hand himself and puts it on his head.

-so now you just keep you hand still on his head.

-"my dear, what are you doing?" he doesn't understand a single thing happening.

-you just shrugged as he then continued doing his paperwork.

-that's when you decided to just pet him as you wanted to at the start, seeing him smile at you from the side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Zhongli

-ehh so i feel like he would know about trends but never expect you to do one of them to him personally

-and you basically decide to take action mid-talk with him.

-"yes, and i've also heard about- what are you doing?" he gets cut off by your hand above his head.

-"nothing, you can continue." you reply innocently.

-"uhm.. okay? so as i was saying, recently, i've heard about how furina is doing currently in fontaine, and i can say i'm very impressed, she has- why are you laughing?" he asks with a confused smile on his face.

-you continue laughing for a bit longer until you actually pet him.

-"it was a prank-" you can't continue due to laughing at him.

-he's confused but also smiling at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hope nothing was too ooc

this was fun

hope you liked it :p

| @mischievouseal | @mariaace <3

[cupidscrule]

BUNNY TRAP

Stepdad!Leon X Fem!Reader

Cw - p in v, daughter chasing after dad, stepcest, noncon(?) Unprotected

WRD- 1.5k

You always knew your dad was hot, total babe back in the 2000's ever since you were a kid your friends always gushed over him, and it was fair, always thought it was gross though. Like he's YOUR dad, stepdad yeah but he still raised you, sure he had a cute face, big arms, his pornstar tits were an add on. But he was Dad, nothin' more, But fuck the way he cups your cheek when your sad, hugs you, gives you that awkward Dad kiss. Just makes you yearn for him, which is wrong you know it's wrong but it's like that itch.

Your friends are always tellin' you how lucky you are, not only is Dad hot, he's nice y'know? Real good dad, picks you up everyday, gets you real nice things. Best guy honestly can see why Mom picked him!

"Hi kiddo, you wanted to check out that new place-?" Dad said opening your bedroom door, stupid fucken smile on his dumb hot face

'bury your face in my tits'

"Oh no -! It's okay- really I'm real tired"

'fuck me till I can't breathe'

"Huh- alright, come down soon dinners gonna be ready, and sorry Moms not home yet she said she'd be here in a few weeks 'k?"

'i wanna scream your name'

"Oh it's alright, and of course dad!"

With that he left, shutting the door halfway, dick move but it probably wasn't on purpose, the smell of his colone in the room, only imagining Dad stuff you up. God your disgusting, this is dad. Fourth something year old DAD, since when did you have these thoughts about him, as a kid sure you always thought he was cute 'ohhb I would totally date someone as big and strong as my Daddy!'

But it was LIKE, not actually him. But you can't stop thinkin' about him, wanting Dad to shove your face in the mattress pull on your hair, do the shit they do in pornos. Nasty thoughts, feeling gross and hot imagining all the shit you wanna do with the poor guy, as he just stood there not knowin' thinking your his innocent little daughter who could do no wrong! Oh no she would never have sex before marriage! Oh no my little girl doesn't even cuss!

Yeah right Dad, mhm. Actin' like in middle school my friends weren't blushing over you, whenever you walked in.

Fucken idiot, your little girls not pure, she's not good. She ain't innocent, hell she fantasizes about fucken you every day. It doesn't matter, nothings ever gonna come of this right? Just walk downstairs, eat dinner with dad and go back in your room and sleep it off.

"Sweetiee you finnaly came, how was your day?" Dad says sitting across from you, he didn't even cook. Fucken liar this was clearly some bullshit from a 4 star restaurant he just put on a plate. "Oh it's fine, nothin' much." You say staring at the table, trying to distract yourself from him, how he smells, how he sits, how he opens his mouth, the way he moves his bangs out of his dumb face, his breath. The intoxicating feeling of just bein' near him now.

"Are you okay?"

"Why'd you ask that? You know I'm always fine-" you say in response, playing with your fingers, avoiding his gaze. God feels like a crush in primary school, messin' up words and giggling to your friends about the fastest guy. "You just don't seem like yourselfer Hun, you can always talk to me you know that?" He says, feeling his eyes on you, not in a creepy way more an endearing way which somehow made your entire situation worse. "yeah- I know, don't worry it's fine!" You mumble, lookin' up at him, god he really was dreamy, just wanting him to- NO no more fantasy's.

You finish up, so does he. He just gives you that concerned Dad look before you get up and run back up the stairs like a bitch and lock yourself in your room, typing into Google

'how to stop liking your dad'

'is it normal to have a crush on your dad'

'is it illegal to fuck your step dad'

Jesus Christ your search history, just laying on your side in your bed. Thighs squeezed together tryna' stop thinking about dad, you've seen him shirtless before. Yeah you felt a little hot in your core before, anytime he hugged you you felt so- just so warm. Not the lovey Awee dad and daughter warm, more like if your boyfriend hugged you nice and tight! Feels good, feels warm and fuzzy, pit in your stomach that can only be filled by one thing.

Tossin' and turnin' it's only 6:00pm shit, Dad's still downstairs probobly watching some old movie, he really likes thoughs for some reason, and westerns it's kinda creepy but your the one who wants to fuck him so you really can't be judging. your thoughts are too much to bare, a girl can only last so long on the edge, panties soaked thinking about shit, and hell when you can actually recreate what you want, Nothing's stopping you. Other then ethics but who even cares anymore, walking downstairs to Dear ol' Daddy, bingo.

"Mm- Dad-? Can I talk to you?" You mutter walking up behind the sofa he's laying in, playing with your fingers, how do even address this like,

'Oh yeah dad! Can you just bend your daughter over and fuck her till she's blubbering nonsense, you raised her since she was seven but y'know !!'

No.

"Hm, yeah of course, what's the problem bunny?" He says sitting up, glancing behind him to your miserable face, little frown on your lips. He raises a brow seeing your face, you felt all fuzzy feeling your throat get dry, the hell were you supposed to do?

"Uh Dad, can- can you come upstairs" you mutter looking at him, feeling your chest get heavy. Of course dear Daddy doesn't wanna disappoint you so he gets up and walks over to ya

"What's wrong, Hun?" He says, so sweetly fuck. Looken' all concerned for you, just fall into his chest, even though Dad was in shape he had fatass boobs, real nice to put your face in whenever he hugged ya. Just like always as a concerted Daddy does he puts an arm around you, pulling you nice and tight, "Baby?" He says in that same voice, pullin' your face away from his body, looking down at you.

"Can- can we just sit down" you say grabbing his hand forcefully and leading him to the nice leather sofa, you didn't know much about Mom but she really liked expensive shit and this was the only thing at home she bought..

You push him onto his back, his head resting on the arm, he looked kinda confused, like a puppy! You crawl over on top on him, ass rested on his lower pelvis. "Hey Bunny this is a little- whats wrong?" Dad says trying to carefully lift you off of him, awe stupid Daddy actin' like you're just gonna listen to him

"Dad just let me do this- please, you love me right?" You say looking at him in the eyes, pout on your stupid lips, he just nods slowly as a response. Unzippin' his jeans, wow this really is a shitty porno plot.

'Cute stepdaughter seduces and fucks her Dad while Mom isn't home!'

Jesus Christ you fucking creep.

With his pants open pulling out is fat cock, he wasn't hard which kinda hurt, you were being all cute and all dad did was just sit and stare in shock. Like sure you were gropen him and stuff but he could put some effort in it? Whatever doesn't matter-? You sit on his thighs pulling off your night pants, your panties were already wet from earlier, sadly it seemed Dad didn't really wanna reinact your fantasy so you gotta do all the work, flicking your garments to the side, crawling back onto him. Placing your hips over his Dick, and taking it in, feeling his tip touch your cervix "Mm- fuck-" you murmer, taking a second before getting used to it, slowly moving your hips back and forth, feeling ever little movement. It was euphoric, hands on his chest, looking at his face he looked like he was trying to not enjoy it, but you could tell he was. You felt his breath get heavier anytime you went faster, such a good boy.

His fat dick bruising your womb, your walls squeezing against him, you could hear Dad muttering curse words under his breath, made you feel kinda better about this whole thing. Going to your high and getting that numbing feeling, stomach felt warm, brain all fuzzy and messy collapsing onto him, feeling that warm stuff leaking out of you, pulling yourself off Dad, laying on his chest, glancing up at him, seeing his flushed and disturbed face, awe it was so cute!

He probably felt horrible but you felt amazing, fuck best experience. Putting your arms aside his

"I love you Dad.." you spout into his shirt

"Your Mother can't hear about this B-bunny.." he replies, putting one of arms on your back, you could feel his chest go up and down so cute.

[traegorn]

Okay. So I got a super long ask that is... a lot. And it's anon, so I can't respond privately -- but I want to address it.

Y'see, sometimes I get asks which I'm pretty sure get sent to me just because I'm a witch who happens to publicly exist on the internet. Like the person sending it to me doesn't seem to be someone who's familiar with the kind of stuff I say -- or else they probably wouldn't have sent it to me to begin with. And they ask me for advice or help though. So I feel like I want to give it still.

But it's probably not the advice they think they want.

Let's see how this one starts:

So this is how it starts. Now the first thing you might be asking yourself is "When has Trae ever talked about 'demons' online?"

The answer is never. This is not a thing Trae talks about. Frankly, I don't even like the word, because it frames the supernatural world in a very Christo-centric viewpoint. Like I believe in noncorporeal things and "energy-shit," and I believe those things can be malevolent -- but calling them "demons" invites a framework I literally do not believe exists.

(You can think whatever you want -- I'm not in charge of you. I do think plenty of witches need to unpack their Christian upbringings though)

The other problem with the "which demon" line is that it implies some sort of authoritative list exists that wasn't just some jackass occultist writing down everything he could think of to piss off some Christians -- or some Christian pissed at some non-Christians trying to other and villainize them. These two kinds of people are largely where 99% of those lists come from.

If a noncorporeal being exists, and if it's malevolent, and if it's "attached" to someone... it's just some guy, y'know? This isn't some grand story. When someone gets mauled by a bear, we don't say "But it was Lord Ursus! King of all Bears!"

Nah. It's just "that bear over there ate Bob's face." We might name it then -- "That Face-Eater" -- but it's not special.

Anyways. That's just the first paragraph. There's so much more, I'm going to put in a cut.

Okay. So... The person "Dabbles." You know I'm a witch, right? And that I literally promote people dabbling? Like I want folks to try stuff out. And like when y---wait, SUCCUBUS? I read that, right? You think she's a literal succubus.

Can she shape shift like in that Piers Anthony book?

This is where I kind of immediately fell off. Like, no ma'am -- she is not a succubus. She might be a shitty or manipulative person, I don't know - I just have your account of things, but she's not a literal succubus.

Human being. She is a human being. I don't even know what "creates deceit and deception" is supposed to mean. Are you saying she lies to them? Or are you saying she makes them want to lie? Because those are very different. If it's the former, okay -- liars lie. Got it. If it's the latter... nah. That is not happening. If they're lying, then it's their own damned fault.

And like... I don't want to dismiss the concept that a malevolent being can't attach itself to someone, because I've... seen shit I don't talk about. But, like, they don't make people do shit. People do shit all on their own.

If you're to be believed, it just sounds like you're dealing with a manipulative jackass. No external paranormal shit required.

But we continue:

So I dated this person for a while, and she was great when we were the only people in the room. Like when it was me and her, the person she acted like made me fall in love with her.

But the moment a third person entered the room, she would become someone else. She was sharper, meaner, and more defensive. She wasn't the same person.

We broke up for a lot of reasons, but this certainly made it easier.

You're right, this isn't DID. This is just normal, human shit. We become different people at different times. And sometimes the better version we think we see in someone else isn't the true version of them at all, or at least it's only a part of them.

And sometimes when someone changes in a way you don't like in a different context, it's not always the context's fault.

You need to define "portal." Different people use that word for different stuff.

And I see we're moralizing drug addiction. Great. Awesome. Horse is preeeeeeetty high there for someone going to random witches on the internet for advice.

And, like, ma'am (I've been assuming you use she/her from the context of this -- but I'm sorry if I'm wrong), you're asking a witch this and bringing up tarot and talking to spirits and... like... that stuff's normal for like 80% of the people I talk to on a daily basis. None of those people have "demons" attached to them.

It's a weird thing to bring up as "proof."

I feel like you've forgotten what community you've come to with your issue.

So, nothing affects them. Could it be, and I want you to consider this, that it's because nothing supernatural is happening.

There are so many details that I'm missing here, so I can't be sure of the actual dynamics at play, but what you're describing to me sounds like an incredibly mundane, human scenario.

Like, it literally just sounds like you're describing an incredibly unhealthy home -- and I'm not even sure if that's true since I just have your version of events. I don't even know the ages of the people involved. You have given zero indications of anything out of the ordinary happening that isn't explained by "one or more manipulative people are somehow involved in this story and it's unclear which ones they are."

This is not a "demon." What you've described is just dysfunction.

[ai-the-broccoli]

I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?

ooooh thanks!!!

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.

(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)

favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.

favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)

light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like 😐) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.

look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol

the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it

the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.

as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone

favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:

The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away

L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao

L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it

on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:

idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)

favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)

the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light

like look at his face here!

favourite manga-exclusive moments:

Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)

the manga ending is also good

I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)

not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga

favourite anime-exclusive moments:

rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously

everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime

I love the anime ending too

also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so

favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding

the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it

the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.

the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell

ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect

live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"

man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao

favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too

Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!

(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light

misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice

idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)

also!! I love the meronia moments

and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good

24. any headcanons you want to share?

uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?

... fine okay let's do this finally.

neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons

[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]

aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)

on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.

other headcanons:

not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).

Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8

man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*

ask game

[nabhx]

LJ JUMPSCARE STAND B A CK

These have been in my files, dusting up LJ core BUT!! That's because I got STUCK at some point and put it to the side, and when I got back I was like. Do I still like these at all?? And the answer is yes, but not in a 'yeah I'll use these for suuuurre' type of way y'know-

So what are we looking at 🗣🗣 LJ concepts ofc!! And an Isaac mostly for scale, but don't look at him for too long he's not important rn. The idea was to have three LJ forms/phases (actually four, I was super ambitious idk), but here we see just two; Rainbow and LIAR!! >:((

Rainbow speaks for itself, that is fresh LJ, dare we say baby LJ- Tried to put some old clown inspiration into his fit here and there, the deranged amount of colours might throw it off a bit, but tbh! I like that!! Adds to the whole 'he LOOKS like he could be from here, but if you stare too long it starts feeling a lil uncanny' ig? Same way his facial features and general proportions are pretty human, but again, if you look for too long?? Hhmmmmm.

Moving on to LIAR!! Basically his whole deal was that he's supposed to be the form LJ takes when being a big ol liar, basically. Docile and non threatening for the little ones DESPITE HIS SIZE (I actually scaled him down, he was even bigger ffgvhbb), with more doll-like/silly proportions. That's really all there is too it, just a less scary form for deceiver reasons.

And here's where I got stuck! LJ's default, let's call it that. The form he's in when going about his business, whatever that is, potentially hanging out with his fellow creeps and pastas, those sorts of things. I just could not settle on what I wanted to do?? Something that made him creepier, still kept some design elements from the previous versions, but wasn't a simple (taller) copy and paste either- Focusing on his face for all of that would NOT have saved me I was COOKED smh 😔😔

So I'm allowing myself to start over! Sort off!! See if that helps idk, but I sure hope so?? I'd really like to have a LJ that I enjoy drawing repeatedly-

[lightyaoigami]

If you have to choose your favorites 5 scene/dialogue in Those, what would it be?

amazing question. i will not be including 'my doctor doesn't even consider me a smoker' because that's everyone's favorite already.

one

"When I first saw you at the funeral, I thought you'd be the same. Yet another of The Lady's beautiful court jesters. It surprises me when I'm wrong." "I'm glad that I obliged." "You haven't obliged me with anything yet. This dinner doesn't count." "You're a fast worker but I'm faster. We could have skipped this shit, you know? There's no need for dinner and candlelight at our age. And, y'know, neither of us is wearing a dress." "I wanted to speak with you," he says thoughtfully, following it up with a more cheerful: "And get you out of your clothes, but that goes without saying." "We could have done both of those things at your place." "No, I'd like to understand you." Something about his personality has changed. He's much more softly spoken and pure sounding, which worries me. The dreamy quality of his voice makes me feel pensive and angry, so I reach forward suddenly and pour myself another glass of wine. "I don't want to be understood. To be understood would make me dead."

two

I remember once when, back in the day, I went to a party. It was house party but it was in a really big house. We had to wear masks, so it was one of those parties. I wore a skull mask; a white skull. L was an abstract crow or something. He saw me just as I saw him and we knew. Couldn't see each other's faces, but we knew. That was a good night. Anyway, he didn't know that I was going to be there and I didn't know that he was going, so we were strangers. Only we knew. Point is, if I wasn't there, he would have found someone else. Someone less.

three

"I don't know, but it looks very important from where I'm standing." "Stand somewhere else then." My consistent smile parts my lips when I take a few long steps towards him until we're only inches apart. Well, I can't really see his suit anymore, which is what he wanted. "Like, here?" I ask. His panic is practically another person between us and he drops his briefcase, so this tactic must have been perfectly balanced and executed. I congratulate myself as I kneel down to pick it up to deliver the killing stroke. "I'll get it," he says hurriedly. "It's no problem," I say, smiling up at him in my most winning way. This is a tried and tested method and he out of everyone was a complete sucker for it, always. I grab the handle of his case with one hand and hold onto his leg with the other. For support, obviously. When I stand again, I can almost see the gleam in my eye reflected in his face. While he's apparently unable to move, I lean forward and breathe in over his neck, but I don't touch him until my face is so close to his that our noses barely glance and slide off each other. He sucks in air when I lick his cheek lightly with the tip of my tongue. He's dying inside. His poor eyes can't lie. "You know, you really should be more careful," I tell him, and tilt my face slightly so my lips hovers over his in some worshipping adoration. He pants softly, swallows and his eyes grow heavy as he looks at me, but I won't do anything unless he gives me a sign. An almost silent "Oh fuck" catches in his throat as he stares at me, and I drop his suitcase to the floor again. Hallelujah.

four

"Light, I'm not going to say this again until the next time you leave your wife for me, because you'll get bored of it, but you're the best person I've ever met and I'm proud of you. Of what you've done, despite what I might have said in the past, because I'm a liar and I was lying before. And I love you." Oh. I'm more stunned by how he says it than what he actually says and I don't know what to say, so I stuff something that I hope is only a slimy, battered carrot into my mouth instead, and it's revolting. Once I've finished chewing, I talk down to my plate. "It's really hard to cut spring onions all slanty like." "It looks like a forty-five degree angle." "It is." "Well done."

five

So, picture the scene. I was on my way to the door wearing one of my less good suits. That doesn't matter, but I think that it expresses something about my state of mind and health. But I didn't make it as far as the door. I was overwhelmed by a sudden sickness, ran to the bathroom and threw up my guts into the toilet until my throat burned and I nearly passed out. It was like how people describe botulism, only worse. Those bastards don't know how I suffered. Anyway, Kiyomi found me dying on the bathroom floor, and I remember it in the same daze I experienced then. L wasn't in my mind at the time because all I could think of was trying to find some way to stop feeling as terrible as I did. My mind was empty like the rest of me was, so I just lay on my side and hoped that it would pass. Some unprecedented disaster had happened and I was powerless to do anything.

bonus from i know the way it ends

"Your face was almost golden because of the lights everywhere. Remember the gold coin neon lights over the casino? The lights made you look like you were gilded. I've only seen you look at me like you did then a few times, but you were beautiful, I thought my heart would burst, I… Palpitations from all the coffee, probably but… yeah."

[howlingday]

Harriet: Glad you showed up. I wanted to ask you something.

Jaune: Uh, sure. What's up?

Harriet: I need to ask you something, and I need a real answer.

Jaune: Okay?

Harriet: What do you think of me... as a woman?

Jaune: Huh?

Harriet: L-Like, do I have womanly charms?

Jaune: Uh, where is this coming from?

Harriet: Well... As long as I can remember, people have always said I wasn't "lady-like". Honestly, I can't disagree. I'm good at sports, exercise, and other physical stuff. In fact, it's probably why I've never been in love! And if I've never been in love, then am I really a woman?

Harriet: S-So that's why... I want you to be my boyfriend.

Jaune: ...WHAT?!

Harriet: No, no! Not like a real boyfriend! Just- Just like a practice run, y'know?

Jaune: A practice run?

Harriet: I'm not a woman because I've never been in love, and I can't fall in love because I'm not a woman. Do you see the dilemma? My vicious cycle I'm trapped in? So I need a practice run to bring out my feminine side!

Jaune: I don't know...

Harriet: C'mon,man! I'm on my hands and knees here! I'm begging you! Please help me!

Jaune: I... Does it have to be me?

Harriet: I can't ask anyone else. Please!

Jaune: ...Fine. I guess I can help for a while.

Harriet: Really?! Sweet!

Jaune: So, what do I do?

Harriet: ...Good question.

Jaune: ...

Harriet: ...Okay! Let's get started!

Harriet: (Clears throat) Hello, darling~! Did you have a good day at work? Would you like dinner, or should I draw you a bath?

Jaune: I... think that's jumping ahead a bit. You're acting like a housewife in a comedy.

Harriet: Oh, really? Alright, new approach!

Harriet: (Grabs him) You bastard! You said you would leave your wife, you liar!

Jaune: Th-That's even worse...

Harriet: W-What?! You mean... I can't even get a practice run, right? So I'm going to grow old and die alone and give up on love...

Jaune: H-Hang on! Let's dial it back bit! Like, why do you even need to do this practice stuff?

Harriet: I already told you! It's... It's because I'm not lady like.

Jaune: So? I think that's just part of your charm.

Harriet: W-What?

Jaune: When you push it and get all nervous, that's not really you, is it?

Jaune: To be honest, I like you just the way you are because it's who you are.

Harriet: J-Jaune...

Jaune: And besides, isn't falling in love supposed to be fun? If it isn't fun, is it really the same? I mean, I can't say I've really fallen in love before, so what do I know?

Harriet: Actually... I think you know a lot more than you let on. Thanks.

Harriet: You're right. I'm not going to push it! I'll just have to wait for the right person! Maybe Spruce Willow!

Jaune: (Thinking) That's a... pretty specific taste. Might be waiting a while.

Harriet: Anyways, thanks again, Jaune. Feels like a hundred pounds off my chest. And I kinda had fun practicing with ya! We gotta do it again some time!

Jaune: Uh, I think that's enough practice for me.

Harriet: W-Well... What if we didn't practice?

Jaune: Huh?!

Harriet: KIDDING! I'm just yankin yer chain!

Harriet: But, uh, what is your type, anyways?

[aita-blorbos]

Am I a bad person for saying mean things about my friends?

[cw for gaslighting and manipulation]

I just feel really really super-bad about this, but everyone says it wasn't my fault and I don't need to apologize but it's messing me up and I dunno what to think about it anymore…

I (14F) was having a really bad day the other day. Y'know, the kind where you make the dumbest mistakes and the things people say get at you a lot more than they normally do? And on my way home I found this cute-looking doll and it said it wanted to be my new friend to help cheer me up (which I'm always in favor of, I love making new friends!!), and said that if I be its friend, it would help me be luckier, and that nobody would make fun of me again, just as long as I always kept her with me. It sounded good to me, so I agreed and took it home with me!

And, things were going great! Like the doll said, I was so much luckier, and my magic was getting so much stronger from it! S(14M) and L(14F) were totally wowed, too! But um, then I think I got a little fat-headed and started gloating at R(14F) and K(14M) and kept beating them in magic duels.

Later the doll kept saying that they would all definitely think better of me now, and that it was because we had gotten to be such good friends and. She was kinda loud about it an that was scary, but she was really making me feel good and better and lucky and… even though she was saying that my other friends were horrible and that I was wonderful and that she was my only real friend. It seemed so nice.

And then and then the next day, K and R and S and L were all asking about how much better with magic I had gotten and what had changed. And I wasn't sure what to do or say. So the doll told me that I should tell all of them to shut up, and that I didn't want to pretend at being friends anymore if they were gonna keep picking on me, and all these other horrible things. And I wanted to trust my friend, so I did what she said.

And to make it worse, I accidentally dropped the doll and all I could think of was "I need to keep her with me! She's the only one that understands me! She said so herself" and I pushed poor L away! And when R tried taking her away I just panicked and ran off.

I don't remember much of what happened for the next while. My head was hurting, but the Doll said I'd done well, so I just kept going, and she kept telling me she was my friend. And I just. Kept believing her, because it was getting hard to believe anything else, with my head being as fuzzy as it was…

Then S and L and K and R caught up with me and started trying to take my friend the Doll away again and calling her a liar and I was so scared for her, and for losing her, when she had been so helpful to me. I just couldn't think, so I kept casting spells at them and telling them all to go away and leave us alone.

But then, R and K started saying that they'd miss me if I was gone, because we really were friends and that they liked having me and my usual positivity around. L and S were saying everyone was worried about me, and wanted me to be friends with them again. I was so shaken, I ended up losing the duel I started.

And then it all came rushing back to me. All those awful things I said and did to the people who had been so nice and supportive of me, even if they're not always the best at showing it (K and R are especially really stubborn like that, but I know they meant it). And I just. I just still feel so AWFUL about it!!! There's no way that S and L and K and R would just forgive me, just like that, for being so mean, right?? I must be the bad person here, right???

EDIT: Someone asked what happened to the doll. My homeroom teacher showed up right after that and said something like, the doll puppets people with their hearts and take their powers? I dunno what that has to do with anything, though. Anyway, she took it somewhere else, but I didn't really listen much when she said where she was taking it. Honestly, that just goes to show, I really need to be better about listening too!!

EDIT 2: And now people keep asking why I didn't think it was weird the doll was talking. But why would it be weird? I thought it was kinda like the talking cat plushie my homeroom teacher carries with her, or the old teddy bear that runs the museum.

[lockpickingliar]

Ouma Kokichi (Kichi) on Lies

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but it's been really hard.

But that's a lie.

What if it wasn't, though? Or what if it was, but the excitement of not knowing which way or the other makes for a good opener on a post about lies? Lies have a lot of uses, y'know.

Lies change the way you see the world, while truth forces you to confront it whether you like it or not.

I love lies. I love them more than anything. They're something that got me through the day by making things more fun, or easier to swallow, or just kinder in some other way. I say in the game: "There only ever is one truth, but endless possibilities for lies."

So if you don't like the truth, then lie.

That's a lie, too.

I hate lies. I hate them more than anything. Every lie I've ever told, it's only made things harder, or more stressful, or hurt people in some other way. Lies are scary things that can be used to hide the truth from people when the truth is what they need.

Do you think this might be the lie instead?

I grew up a liar. I lie because lying's fun. I lie because it's safe, and changes the world. I lie because it helps people, when you know how to do it.

I lie because it doesn't matter. I lie because it always matters. I lie to cause problems for the people in my way. I lie to make things easier for the people I care about.

I've gotten really good at telling lies over the years. I have lots of reasons to lie, and when you have as many reasons as I do, you end up lying a lot. Practice makes perfect, after all.

Or maybe I'm just naturally good at it.

Maybe my Talent is a lie, and my true title is the Ultimate Liar.

Maybe I don't have a Talent at all.

Maybe nothing about me from the game is real.

Maybe it's all lies.

But that's no fun, I don't like that. So let's come up with another, better lie.

My name is Ouma Kokichi, I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader of Evil, but that's a lie. I'm a liar, after all, it's what I do. Which part of that is the lie? That's your job to figure out.

Everyone needed a focus. A focal point to fixate on, so they wouldn't go around and around in circles with baseless accusations. It's hard to cooperate against the bad guy when you don't know who in the group the bad guy is.

So I'm evil now.

It gave them something to focus on.

It made things a little easier for them to stomach.

No big deal.

I kept lying, because I'm a liar, and I'm evil now.

I didn't like that lie very much, actually. Everyone hated me and my lies, and I couldn't lie that hatred away. That's a lie. It didn't stop me from trying. It's not like I can help it.

That's another lie.

It's not a very funny one, though. Compulsive lying is a scary thing. Sometimes I lie so much that I don't even realize I've lied until hours later. Sometimes I lie and feel so sick afterward because I wanted to tell the truth. Or maybe I feel sick because I was fighting the whole time to tell the truth and failed to the compulsion to lie.

But I lied about being a compulsive liar, didn't I?

If you lie enough, your lies start to overlap, and if they overlap enough, it stops mattering. No one knows what the truth is anymore, not even you, because there are so many lies to untangle that you can't even remember what the original lie was.

I lied when I first came here. I came here five years ago, y'know. They liked to ask me all sorts of questions about where I came from, and I liked answering them because it gave me the opportunity to spin all sorts of lies.

Lies about growing up in a facility.

Lies about being diagnosed with something different every week.

Lies about a very good friend, who was taken away one day, never to be seen again.

I loved to play pretend as a kid, so who knows? Maybe it all was a lie.

Maybe I was just some sick kid in a hospital, trying to make things more interesting for myself.

My favorite manga is Promised Neverland.

The first time I ever touched grass, it was given to me in a tray after I asked for it one week wanting to know if it was real.

Or maybe it was when I organized a lie where we all went to a summer festival together, with crayon cutouts of fireworks and ill-fitting yukata, out in the yard because I asked so nicely.

Or maybe I'm just lying about the grass.

I lied a lot, after all. So much that sometimes I can't even tell what's real.

It's scary.

That's a lie. It's just how I live.

I love lies. They have the power to make the world a better place.

But in the Killing Game, the world couldn't become a better place.

I lied and lied and lied for everybody else, but no one would lie for me. I told so many horrible, horrible lies just to get the puzzle pieces to fit. I lied about being evil until I wasn't lying anymore. Until I broke the one rule I made for myself.

Or maybe I'd already broken it the night Taro-kun died.

Or maybe I broke it before I even came to the Killing Game and forgot.

Or maybe I didn't break it at all because I'm in a time loop and everyone's still alive, I just have to get it right.

Or maybe I didn't break it at all because it's all a simulation and if I go back and finish the job, let the press take me, I'll wake up in the hospital and everyone will be there and everything will be okay because they're all alive.

Or maybe I didn't break it at all because it's all a simulation and if I go back and finish the job, I'll wake up in the facility and no one will be there because they were all a part of the simulation.

But no, that must be a lie because Taro-kun is also here.

But robots and AIs have come here, too, so maybe it's not a lie after all.

...

I hate lies.

I hate that I hate lies.

I hate that the Killing Game has tainted them for me.

In the time that I've been here, I've gotten into the habit of monologuing to myself. When I used to thrive more on questions and answers, the questions eventually stopped, so I just started talking to no one in particular, musing to myself. I can't tell if any of what I'm saying is true anymore. Or maybe it's all paradoxically true somehow. It feels like I'm compulsively telling the truth.

But that's a lie.

I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with them, but it's hard to do. I miss them. I miss telling lies and enjoying it. I miss the kindness that goes into the lies I tell. I miss being able to lie however I want because in the back of my mind I always had a firm grasp on the truth.

Did I, though?

That's more Cookie's thing.

Maybe I'm lying again.

Does it even matter?

I don't know anymore.

But that's a lie.

[i-hope-this-is-a-phase]

Caiti's Final Response Important Quotes

The Discord kept asking for quotes for this whole thing, so I went into the trenches and tried to quote all the important bits she said. Let me know if there are any errors or quotes you would like added. You may screenshot any of these quotes, just mention that I made them (because it was hard to do and I would like some acknowledgement askcnakdns).

Anyway, here we go:

(Extremely dicey: view at your own risk!)

"if you're looking at this stream for me to like expose and drop new drama or just anything to talk about, it's not that kind of stream" - Caiti

About the Grope

"It is fucking sexual assault, okay? I'm not going to apologize, say that it isn't sexual assault, that I'm not a sexual assault victim"

"He felt up my tits, on a couch, with other people there. He stuck his hand up my shirt, under my bra, and felt up, fondled, whatever you want to say, he felt up my tits."

"…getting called a slut and a prude at the same time"

"He felt up my tits; this touching that he's talking about, that's what it is, okay? No, I'm not upset that he tickled me, saying that he assaulted me because he tickled me, or because he was close to me, no! I'm upset because I was on a couch, 18 years old, drunk, on a couch with other people in the room, and he sticks up his hand and starts feeling my tits."

"He would have never felt my uncomfort because he was too busy feeling something else that night"

"He did not rape me either. Like it's so important to hear what I am saying" - talking about misinformation being spread

Acknowledging Twitter

"I really do encourage everyone to watch my response on it. Like, either read my response on Twitter or watch the original video"

"The screenshot that I--my recent response on Twitter--this is the only kind of response thing I'm gonna give--I will acknowledge--that was a complete miscommunication. There's a screenshot I said was form his friend, that wasn't there for the assault, mentioned our ages and acknowledged you know the situation was weird. It's a real screenshot. What I got wrong, [what] was miscommunicated was who it was from."

"It was actually from isntead of the guy--who left and wasn't there for the assault it was from the girl who wasn't there for the assault."

"I do acknowledge and own up to the fact that that was completley wrong, but again I'm saying even though it wasn't from this friend, it was yet another person in the hotel room that acknowledged the weirdness."

"he fucking admitted to doing what he did to me"

Being Drunk and Consent

"For the people saying she was drunk too and didn't consent, I didn't fucking feel up his tits! What did he not consent to. I would like to make it clear: there was no reciprocation in any sexual act. The sexual act that happened was not reciprocated."

"The only thing he could have not consented to was him putting his own hand on my tit."

Why She Didn't Do _______

"I privated all my things so I couldn't receive followers, receive clout, y'know I couldn't grow from this"

"For people saying take legal action: do you know the odds of winning an assault case?"

(She talked in depth about how she couldn't win the crying scenario: either she cried and was called faking it and dramatic or she wouldn't and would be called soulless but I'm not transcribing that it went on for 3 minutes)

Acknowledging the Inconsistencies

"And the fact if I have inconsistencies in my story, which I do and I'm not going to say that I don't. I'm, like, remembering the night of my assault, and I'm sorry that the thing that I really remembered is the assault."

"I will acknowledge that there are inconsistencies, but when I acknowledge there are inconsistencies…my whole story is out, it's in the trash, and I'm seen as a liar"

"the one thing we agree on is the fact that he touched me and didn't ask if I was okay with it"

The Word Choice

"The fact of him saying I painted it in a bad light. I'm talking about my assault. I'm not going to paint it in a fucking rainbows and sunshine light."

(about the cuddling) "It wasn't anything sexual, and I believe it was pretty tame"

The Negative Attention

(talking about content creation and negative attention) "I've lost the love i've spent so long on because of this"

She's talking about how she has no idea what to do with the clout she'll "gain" from this

"I don't want a career in content"

"It's insane. I mean watching people--the position i'm in--watching thousands of people comment on your sexual assault story; people fight each other over it; people use it as a talking point on a YouTube video or a podcast, yknow, it being made into clickbait. It's--it's insane"

On George's Response

"I could have even understood if it would have been a, 'I know we have different persepctives of the night, and i know i assumed stuff that i shouldn't have, but i'm still sorry for hurting you.' But any time again he re admits to the fact that he touched me without my consent is followed iwth a but."

"It's followed with a 'yes i touched you, yes i didn't ask if it was okay, BUT you were smiling, BUT you seemed like you would want it, BUT you seemed--' im fucking sick of it!"

Caiti paraquoting George "Here. Here is everyhting on a silver platter. Everything she was kinda wrong about, ad everything she left out. So she can't be trusted, and because I am the one pointingit out, you can trust me"

Bias

"The person he's getting to confirm his point of view is his best friend. Or the guy he called in the video? Again his friend"

"These edited response videos? He's making them with Dream"

"And I do acknowledge, this is me acknowledging, I can also be a hypocrite in this situation because I had a best friend there."

"But I would also like to point out that the two girls there, the one from the screenshot that said--that mentioned the age difference and was mentioning how weird it was, and…the other girl that was there during the assault, texted me the day after and said ' are you okay? I was really uncomfortable with how touchy George was being.' Those two girls? I met two days prior"

Power Imbalance

About the power imbalance- "I was an aspiring creator, and these were the biggest creators in the industry"

"There's creators that messaged me about their stories but say they are still too scared to do it"

"We have the same twitch fucking manager"

"If [the move] was done in a private setting, maybe I could have mustered up enough courage to say 'no I'm not comfortable with this' or to rip his hands out of my fucking bra. But he did it on a couch with other people sitting next to us, and with other people in the room. Any, y'know, any expression I did, anything I did, it was on display for other people. He took the power away from me in that situation."

"And for everyone saying 'Well you could have given non-verbal consent.' I will tell you right now, if I was given the opportunity to give even non-verbal consent, my answer would have always been no."

"I'm asexual."

On Glorifying Creators

"You don't know these people. These are people who create content to millions of people. They aren't your best friends."

"These content creators that have spent time with these people. These content creators who do know these people, have had private conversations with these people, speaking out against them."

"I was hoping to open people's eyes, I guess"

"I would never forgive him"

She acknowledges that she did not like that people used her story to spread hate

for why she came forward - "I wanted to be [what shelby was] for other people"

[dansconcepts]

Venti & Childe Go Buck

Would post this on AO3 but cannot finish it so instead have this drabble where two Liyuen immortals have to deal with their somehow complementary partners' shenanigans. 

Venti snickers. "We really can't have that, can we, oh fellow harbinger?" 

"It certainly would be a shame to let them get away with this…" He says, in a flourished motion, letting cool water glisten into sharpened scythes. 

The accused gulps, sweating profusely under the pair's scrutiny.

A foot away, an adeptus snarls, deep in his throat. His hands clench tightly around a cup still full and otherwise completely undisturbed. It reflected his companion well, who sat watching the scene with sips in-between.

"They weren't supposed to get along." Xiao growls. "How are they getting along?" 

Zhongli sips, delicately placing his teacup down on the wooden surface.

"Xiao." He states, and the yaksha immediately tenses at his name. "It is not as surprising as you may think. After all, they both can be…"

"Idiots?" He spits out. And he immediately winces at his rough tone. He was still amongst Rex Lapis. What was he thinking, speaking so crudely? "My apologies, my lord, I didn't mea-"

The archon stretches out a hand, his lips quirking upward. Xiao's mouth snaps shut. "Ah, I was merely speculating they were best referred to as 'troublesome', yet I suppose that description is not too far off as well."

He hums. "Yes. Observe."

Xiao's eyes peel away to watch the duo once more, one laughing up a storm while the other was itching for a fight from the poor passerby caught in their vision. 

"Oh, if you wish to be spared, offer your mora and food to be shared~!" His lover, the anemo archon, Barbatos, shamelessly rhymes.

It gives Childe pause. Dead eyes narrow at his current partner in crime.

The bard shrugs with a smile. He'd say it was like a cat's that caught the canary, if the bard wasn't allergic to the animal. "What? There isn't much to say. I simply found a business opportunity and couldn't let it slip away!"

"...I offer myself death in exchange for him to stop rhyming." The human sighs. 

Childe nods sagely. "You're making a good sacrifice."

"Hey! My rhyming isn't that atrocious! You're so ferocious!"

Childe splashes some water around. Spares a look at the archon. Looks at the water. Then his eyes glint.

Ugh. What is this mortal about to do?

"You're so certain, huh? Well then. Fight me over it."

The bard wrinkles his nose immediately in distaste. If he wasn't so focused on watching that Fatui scum that also happens to be Rex Lapis' consort for any sudden movements, he'd call the expression (what's the word he hears Venti use often…?) adorable.

Yet from distaste did his features suddenly relax, the hints of a smirk adorning his face. 

"It's not a fight to the death, right?" Venti adds. 

Wait, was his idiot of a lover actually considering to fight against-

"As long as you want it to be!" Childe chirps in. "Wow, I can't lie, I'm excited! You better follow through. I've always wanted to fight an archon, even if it's former. Surely you've still got power in you somewhere. Although I have heard you were the weakest archon…"

"Ehe~! Guess you'll just have to find out!" The archon grins. Childe charges.

Oh fuck no. 

Xiao immediately reaches for his polearm, but before he can fully grasp it, Childe's sent flying.

"Haha!" Venti's laugh chimes like bells. "Another victory for me! Ah, to watch him flee!"

"He didn't flee, Barbatos." Rex Lapis, who has been silent for a while, suddenly speaks.

Venti gulps. Xiao turns to his master, distinctly emanating a strangely menacing aura, and the tells of hiding a grimace.

"Oh, would you look at that! Xiao, it's time we leave after that!" 

"...You used 'that' twice, bard." He says. Y'know, like someone trying to ignore his master's anger. Y'know, like a liar.

Aquamarine eyes turn toward the blazing cor lapis.

"Well, I'm sorry, the mind can become quite distracted when confronted with their demise!"

As if on cue, Rex Lapis began with the devastatingly familiar words, "I WILL HAVE-"

And they whisk themselves away before the meteor falls. 

[o-sachi]

─── A Letter for @lumiambrose ✦

If you have received this, it means you signed up for Sachi's Selfship Event !

WIFEY. Thank you for being my first requester for this event, but thank you even more for being an amazing friend. You match my freak too much that it scares me sometimes /j. And you already know how much I adore Saemi. That's all. You know the rest. ILY <3

✉️ Attachment: ABCs with Sae Itoshi

[B] Best Quality Sae definitely admires your independent nature. He likes that you can be your own person as you go about your life and reach your own goals. It's an important quality for him because he needs a partner that can keep up with him as an equal rather than someone who will constantly rely on him. Sae also likes your work ethic. You're able to balance multiple things at once while still giving him time. He's a pretty busy dude as well, but he manages his time properly. I suppose it helps him feel like you're living at the same pace.

[C] Comfort He's not... really good with words and he lets you know that. Sometimes he does offer practical advice when you seem receptive of it. But in times that you simply need a shoulder to cry on, he'll be there for you. He might not speak much, but he'll hug you, hold your hand, and rub your back. He definitely gets you food to cheer you up as well. It surprises you sometimes how he's able to remember all your food preferences—even the ones that you only picked up recently. Similar with Rin, he gets you ice cream when you're down in the dumps or even when you're stressed out. Pretty much, Sae is a firm believer of actions over words.

[G] Gifts INSANE GIFT GIVER. Sae gives you gifts like it's nothing to him (it is nothing to him; he's rich, y'know). If he remembers your food preference, then best believe that he remembers every little thing that you point out to him. Show him a random piece of jewelry you found online? You'll find it on your nightstand a few days later. He's THAT type of guy. Of course, he has given you major gifts on your anniversary or on your birthday—stuff like rings and handbags. But he's also a frequent gifter—showering you with stuff every now and then (mostly clothes). His favorite gift that he received from you was a metal bracelet with a Spanish saying engraved on it's inner side.

[H] Hugs Truth be told, he'd rather hug it out than talk it out. Although, at first he wasn't a good hugger. He'd hug you back—stiff as a board—like you were just a buddy of his. But through time, he does get better. In fact, when you two are alone, more often than not he'll have you in his arms. Sae's also a big fan of back hugs. When you're standing up by the kitchen counter, he'll sneak up on you and wrap his arms around your waist. Or if you're sitting down (coding/playing Valorant again), he'll wrap his arms around your shoulders—asking you what's taking you so long. (Clingy sometimes, but won't admit it lol). Of course, this also applies to him being the big spoon and you the little spoon. We all know he has a thing for back(sides).

[I] Intimacy I know it's ironic since he's not much of a talker, but I feel like you achieve deeper connection by... talking. And it's not just the normal kind of conversation; it's more like the kind of conversation he'd only have with someone he trusts completely. It's the kind of conversation that he'd pour out his honest feelings. Sure, he'd still be using that same monotone voice, but you can tell that he's sharing things he wouldn't dare tell another soul. In short, showing each other your vulnerabilities is how you get closer. He takes romance VERY seriously. He isn't the type to get into flings. Knowing that you came out of a long-term relationship, Sae will make sure to do even better than your last. (He has an ego on him, what can I say?)

[J] Jealousy Oh boy... SO JEALOUS. He'll deny it and insist that there is not a single jealous bone in his body (liar). He tries to be subtle about it though, but he fails miserably. It starts off with the lingering death glares, then it proceeds to him asking several "innocent" questions. But if you confront him, he'll gaslight you because why would he be jealous when he's THE Sae Itoshi? It also pisses him a bit knowing that you would never reach his level of jealousy... not that he'd do anything to make you jealous in the first place.

Also the type to give you silent treatment if you act oblivious to it or make fun of him for being jealous...

[K] Kisses His kisses are usually quick, especially the ones in the morning before he leaves for practice or if you ask him for one. If you start whining about how that kiss was so "lame," he'll tease you by kissing you again with that same energy. But glare at him once and he'll sigh before pulling you in for a proper kiss. He's so stubborn and for what? He can be passionate if he wants to though. But I feel like you'd be a better kisser than him (sorry, Sae, just facts). He likes giving you forehead kisses though. When he does, then you know he missed you a lot.

[N] Nicknames He says petnames are for childish people. Oh, but watch him eat his words when he starts calling you "Amor". Apparently, it rolls off the tongue well, so you can't really blame him. It did come naturally though. Like one day he accidentally uttered that and decided to own up to it because he is not going to lose aura points right now.

"You know that's also a petname, right?" / "No it's not." / "..." / "It's not corny, so it doesn't count." / "Sure, whatever floats your boat."

Weirdly enough, he's fine if you call him anything though. Amor, love, baby, babe... actually, he's only fine with those. Anything else makes him cringe a bit.

[R] Rituals First thing that came to mind were your annual vacations. Well, you annually go out, but you do so multiple times in a year. You both enjoy travelling and experiencing different cultures, so why not do it together? It's an absolute must for you to travel on your birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines, Christmas, and other relevant holidays. He makes sure you travel first-class, of course. (Random thought, but I feel like he always posts a story of flutes of champagne on his flight... like wherever y'all are going.. soft launch vibes, y'know?).

[W] Wildcard He has a folder on his phone of just pictures of you (mostly funny faces and ones of you asleep because he's secretly a menace). He won't tell you that though. Also, when he has to make a "rare" post on his social media about you—like, say, a birthday greeting—he'll be typing and deleting over and over again because he can never come up with a caption that contains enough feelings, but not too much? Does that make sense? He's so prideful sometimes istg. But, deep down, he's so madly into you.

Thank you for participating. I hope you like it :3

Want to participate? Give this a read.

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[habitual-creatures]

Awwww!!!! I'm so glad we've been a help to you!! This blog is great and I'm so very glad you are happy!!!

We lovvee you!! Especially me<3 /p

🫶🫶

- 💜 anon

Gwahhh- stop I'm gonna cry.

Like- it'd be a good cry obvs but I don't want my roommates to wonder why I'm sobbing, lmao-

Even if I don't think they're home atm, lol-

(( ramblings below cut. Only placing them there cause I kinda go off about my mental health for a bit. Sorry in advance. That's what all those cws are for. Uhh... I'd recommend not reading it if you don't want a quick spiral into my kinda shit mental health. :'D ))

Like, I have a VERY small social group because my mental health issues overall make it EXTREMELY hard to maintain good friendships.

But gaahhhh- I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that people ENJOY this blog. But the fact that some DO, is just y'know, kinda mildly life-saving??

So having people continuously respond POSITIVELY to me is basically unheard of for me.

Y'all are like a little recurring shot of dopamine for me.

And it's just incredible to me that I actually HAVE that.

If you had told me this at any point in my life I would've called you a liar because I was the "annoying" or "clingy/overly needy" person my whole life. Either that, or people remember me for my breakdowns. My rage issues.

Either way, I "wasn't worth sticking around" for most people. So I'm used to being isolated or simply jumping between social groups with no ties to anyone to avoid the absolute soul-crushing weight of losing the people I grow to care about.

That, and to avoid being used by people who would pretend to tolerate me for their own gain, then turn around and say I was "annoying" later on. Or claim I was too aggressive after I had a SINGULAR breakdown near them.

I got used to seeing myself as the monster they taught me I was, and nothing more. Trying to get OUT of that mindset is hell, but I'm doing the best I can.

YOU ALL ARE HELPING ME DO THAT. You're helping me see I'm not just a rage-filled, naïve, clingy little bitch. You're helping me get back to seeing myself as a person.

And THIS. This BLOG and its continued support is basically supplementing for the people who never stuck around. This is my constant at the moment.

And I am LITERALLY SO FUCKING GRATEFUL.

I know everything I'm saying probably seems like an overblown reaction to positivity. But I haven't had this in YEARS. Y'all are incredible and I would NEVER take that for granted.

[cousticks]

If given the chance to live, what personality do you think Chuuya's clone would have had?

Gosh. Poor dear clone boy didn't get much of a chance to have one of those, did he. I probably go off topic a couple times, but I promise speculation on his personality is actually in here somewhere.

So. I don't trust a word out of N's mouth at any point in time. He's a horribly unethical scientist and even worse father figure but he does seem to be a relatively decent liar. This is the only decent thing about him.

That being said, if N were to be believed, then the boy in the coin-flipping video demonstrating a self-contained singularity is poor Cloney.

Quoting N's words:

"The owner of the self-contradicting skill. Other than his skill, he was an ordinary boy born in a hot spring district in the San'in region. This special vessel was calibrated so he wouldn't be crushed by the singularity's gravity. That's the only reason why he's still alive."

Looking back at the scene of the coin video, we don't really see much of the boy himself.

Someone was twirling the coin between their fingers. They were young fingers, but everything past their arm was off camera, so it was impossible to see who exactly the person was. They were, however, speaking in an almost singsong manner.

Whoever's in the video recites a couple verses of Upon The Tainted Sorrow. Not the activation verse we know, though.

Someone was holding a glittering coin in the center of the screen, but the camera was too far away to make out their face. The only thing discernible was how oddly spacious the concrete chamber was.

The video is obscured. We can't confirm or deny if it was Cloney in the video, we only know that he's young. But for the sake of speculation, let's say he is. To rule out the idea that it might be Chuuya in the video for the sake of narrowing down options: Chuuya had residual memory, or at least recognition, upon walking into Research Facility B, as its layout is similar to Research Facility A, aka what is now Suribachi City. He's got a pattern of that--seeing snippets of his true past having to do with the Arahabaki program, and it sparking his memory. He didn't do that when watching the coin video, so I'm just going to assume that whoever it was, it wasn't him. It would be off pattern for him.

I have one more quote to pull before rambling about what Cloney could have been like. Unfortunately it's the bit where he dies, but y'know, I only have so many scenes to pick from.

His face was no different than Chuuya's, but his eyes were a little kinder and much feebler. The boy grabbed Chuuya, his gaze pleading. He opened his mouth as if to say something. His lungs filled with puff of air. And that was it. His life had come to an end.

That's the part that really gnaws at me. His eyes were a little kinder. Assuming this is the same boy that has been a living experiment used to create an advanced version of himself (or having been created) and really only knowing dangerous experiments or a murky tube for going on 16 years now, seeing kindness in his eyes is almost baffling. You'd expect him to be kicking and screaming against anyone coming near him, probably. Or some kind of resignation, maybe. But he spent his last breath trying to communicate.

If he'd made it out of Facility B, I like to think he'd have been a hopeful sort. He probably wouldn't have been very well, though. The coin video scene notes the subject (Cloney) going into cardiac arrest. And surviving that comes with a lot of complications (unless the facility had some kind of healing ability on hand, but I'm calling that a 50/50 shot at best. The kindest thing I can imagine is trying to design transferable healing abilities in a similar way to how ability weapons were produced, but that may be too optimistic.) If I ignore the physical complications, there's extremely high rates of depression and anxiety after surviving cardiac arrest, which would probably be made worse by Cloney's living conditions for the last several years.

Verlaine is a bad example of how any reasonable person acts, but one thing pretty understandable is his distrust and paranoia of pretty much everything. And arguably, Verlaine has the most similar background to Cloney. So lets borrow some Verlaine traits, too, maybe.

And the fact that in the video, he spent most of the time flipping a coin. Young Cloney probably thought he was so cool like some movie character. I think his coin flipping is kind of similar to Chuuya's bit in Fifteen asking for hard rock music while he beats people up. They're both losers that wanna be action heroes at heart, to me.

It might manifest differently, but I like to think from his final scene that he got a lot of Chuuya's resilience (y'know, the kind that Verlaine really lacked.) I think coming out of the lab he'd be a very troubled boy, but really that would make him fit right in with the cast around him. But still trying to make the best of things. I think he'd like bad action movies. I think he'd be a little claustrophobic, a little afraid of the dark, but adverse to big empty rooms too. I think he'd like being around people. I don't think he'd want to join the Port Mafia, and he'd definitely steer clear of the Special Abilities Department. So of our major Yokohama-based organizations, the best place for him would be the Agency... but I don't think he'd want to be there either. I don't think he'd want anything to do with any ability based organizations at all, really. I kind of doubt he'd be up to learning any coin tricks after what happened the last time, but that idle hand habit never really goes away. Maybe he'd pick up cool methods of shuffling cards and end up working as a dealer at the Sky Casino or something weird like that. I don't know, really. We only have one scene we know is Cloney, and some speculation, but I think he'd have a few traits similar to Chuuya, but maybe without some of his aggression. I think he'd have a few traits similar to Verlaine, too. And every character that struggles with humanity struggles with it in a different way, and I'm sure he'd be no exception to that. Lots of issues and problems, but I think he'd be the kind to just want to move on. I think Kenji would fix him.