#me just whining really

[marthawrites]

I feel whiney and stupid making posts like these PLUS I have a hard time actually opening up and talking about things because I feel like people will think it's/I'm dumb haha yay

SO without going into the CrazyVille that is my brain, dropping by here to say: ya girl has been in her feels. Sorry I haven't been around much as of late. Tumblr/fandom has been putting me in a very not-so-fun headspace. I wish there was a way I could turn notes off so I don't have to see them on my posts or other people's posts. Normally I'm very good about not caring about notes, numbers, and interactions, but it's been getting to me a lot and I'm just... yeah. It's not fun. That, along with the constant hate and shit s2 has been getting, it's been putting my thoughts in a weird place. Fandom is my escape so I try to be positive here and not bring in too much negativity. I'm here to SIMP not WALLOW and WHINE and my brain has been A LITTLE BITCH lately. Anyway, yeah, I'll leave it at that for here. If ya wanna rant and vent and bitch with me I am open to it rofl because a good venting sesh can sometimes feel like magic

I don't plan on, like, leaving? But my motivation for writing has taken a huge hit and I'm struggling to even make some steam to get it going again

Along with HotD, I've been watching some other shows - The Bear right now, and have plans to watch The Boys next and maybe Bridgerton - and reading more. I'm finally diving into the Throne of Glass series! Currently on Heir of Fire and I love this story so much already I wanna shake it in my mouth like a dog!!! AHHH!

But yeah. Thanks to my fandom friends for coming around and sticking around ♥ I wanna do some wlw writing with Rhaenyra so if anyone has ideas they wanna share hit me up! Also there might be some Harwin fics in the future because the Daddy Strong thirst is foreverrrr

If you've read this I hope you have the most marvelous day MWAH!

[adustoflove]

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

[xxthunderthedragonxx]

its not hard to click someones profile before you follow them btw

[ladyinthebluebox]

wE wAnT cOmPaNiOnS tO bE mEaN aGaIn!!!!!!!!!!

my siblings in the maker, you can't handle Taash calling Emmrich a death mage couple times or [checks notes] ...asking Neve about her clothes [?????????????]

[madootles]

Hullo Edward

[nessacousland]

Well, I finally finished Dragon Age: Friendship is Magic and that is *my* biggest regret.

[eros-heartache]

Notes on The Crow 2024 from someone who's opinion doesn't matter. (me)

[your-unfriendlyghost]

ok i survived work w/ only very mild crime after dw

I discovered that I like cleaning the grates/gutters in the parking lot outside of the shop more than i like working in the shop tho, which is funny cos it’s the job my manager was most apologetic abt giving me. Ig she was sorry cos it’s dirty and gross, but idk it wasn’t so different from cleaning horse hooves- so yk it was kinda chill. I’d do it for all 9.5 hours if I could tbh.

[thelilylav]

Hmmm... very interesting to me that Taylor Swift is trending rn and yet for some reason no one in that tag is complaining that her trending is taking away from what's going on in Palestine and what's happening in Rafah. And yet for some reason, people couldn't seem to shut up in the Kendrick Lamar tag when he was trending about how the whole beef was just two celebrities beef (it's much deeper than that) and were making up theories abt how the whole thing was taking attention away from Palestine and everyone talking about it should feel ashamed of themselves (every single account I saw in that tag was posting about Palestine too).

And the thing that's really getting me is that Taylor is trending bc of a change to the Eras tour. An objectively unimportant change to make, especially when compared to what's going on in Rafah. But that's not what gets hate, no, it's the predator getting called out in an industry known for exploitation by one of the biggest artists in said industry. The racism isn't even implicit atp...

Edit: ok so just to clarify no this wasn't meant to insinuate that Taylor trending was some setup of Israel (that's just... like objectively wrong lmao), it was to point out that when it comes to a black artist in hip hop (a predominantly non-white genre) people wouldn't let fans of said genre just enjoy the music and shenanigans happening in that genre and that's it's hypocritical to act like people can't care abt two things at once, but they can enjoy their white "feminist icon" pop star (a much whiter genre) without anyone bringing hate into that tag. like i put in the tags, the anti taylor tag is for filtering bc i honestly don't see this post as particularly negative for taylor swift, it's a critique of the fans. and i'm calling out swifties particularly bc the ones who were saying that the beef was manufactured to take eyes off of rafah were swifties, and the ones being racist in the kendrick tag were swifties. i'm not exaggerating like almost every hate post i saw mentioning the beef being manufactured was a swiftie account. it is weird to act like people caring about very serious allegations happening in a genre of music isn't reason enough to make a big deal of the situation and go INTO THE TAG and complain, but it is especially hypocritical and frankly quite infuriating to see the same people who complained about a big deal of a situation being a "distraction" from gaza and then blog abt taylor swift . it's fine if u want to blog abt music u like, honestly idc abt that, if that's all u do then this legit isn't targeted at u, this is targeted at the swifties who came into the kendrick tag to complain and then went back to talking abt swift two seconds later like they weren't doing the same thing they were complaining abt two minutes before. (sry for the long explanation, but i just don't want ppl taking my words out of context and i rlly tried to word this all clearly, but idk man sometimes u think u word something well and then nobody undrestands wtf u were on abt so i wanted to make sure it was clear) also, if you're a zionist or israel supporter, i will be blocking u if u interact with this post. ok ty bye bye

[sickofthistoxicshit]

I know this is going to be hella controversial -

But I keep coming across bummies posts where they talk about Buck's crush on Tommy and that fantastic connection they formed (in the all of twenty minutes tops they had on screen with two kisses and a badly timed joke),

And I'm thinking, what crush? Tommy kissed Buck because he struck out with Eddie and Buck was available, Buck realized he likes kissing boys and the attention,

And thought 'we're here, we're apparently queer, let's give this a go.'

There was nothing there besides need for attention and curiousity.

He wasn't getting the emotional attention he needed so he reverted to the physical, in true S1 style with male Abby.

So again what crush??

This is my take anyway, and not rewatching or rehearsing the situation has convinced me otherwise.

[kaurwreck]

I like it when the fandom engages with Chuuya drinking problematically or Akutagawa smoking despite his lung disease or Fyodor indulging his gambling addiction.

Asagiri can't explore the same, there's a censorship regime in Japan for manga aimed at certain ages. But even if he doesn't care to, fan works should be transformative and exploratory; and fan works that do so while engaging with the source material and its themes like humanity and contradiction and culpability are even more golden for doing so.

The urge to lacquer fiction in performative didactism and aversion to moral turpitude is self cannibalizing.

[marimbles]

i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

[pigeonstab]

Crazy thing about college is teachers actually treat you like a human being? For the first time in your life? In middle school and highschool it was rare to get teachers that respect you. There were some obviously but it's like. Now that I'm an adult to these institutions suddenly I'm worth listening to.

And I just feel bad for every kid that's not being listened to and talked down to by the people supposed to be their mentors. Like holy shit. people forget what it was like to be the child. And they forget that kids are people!!! And children are so interesting!! They have different worldviews before we completely fucking break their spirit!!

[yandere-daydreams]

I'm a big promoter of making what you want to see, I know everyone isn't "naturally gifted", but you can build skill with study and practice.

You wanna see a fic for something niche? Write it! You wanna see a yandere fic for this one character who doesn't have yandere? Write it! You wanna see something cute and fluffy? Write it!

I know that having to write what you want to read can suck, but if you stick with it long enough, you'll start to see other people come out of the woodwork too and I think that's the best part.

exactly!!! i think fandom in it's best form is just kinda one big group project where everyone contributes something to the collective conversation, so it's very counter-intuitive to try and pick on the people who are doing their best to make more of the things they love when you yourself are simply. not. i get that not everyone has time to write and draw for pleasure, but if you're going to bitch about what other people do contribute, you really have to be adding something yourself. if you think there are too many dead dove fics, block the tags/authors and write some fluff. absolutely curate your own experience, but don't try to curate everyone's unless you want fan-spaces to die out entirely.

[hxhhasmysoul]

idk what is with this fandom... the same people who hate sukuna and are oh so sad about gojou, also buy into what sukuna said to yuuji in this chapter... i guess maybe sukuna displayed gojou's level of comeback so they latched onto it. what can yuuji possibly do? how can sukuna be even defeated if gojou failed and kashimo failed.

since the beginning yuuji's shown superhuman physical abilities. plus amazing tactical sense and superhuman speed at which he learned things, especially all things jujutsu. but his most impressive and consistent ability has been his super reinforced soul capable of caging sukuna. and that soul did its job without him knowing how to influence it. now he's been given guidance. he also practiced by ingesting more cursed objects containing souls. he also showed that he can possibly soul swap.

also since the beginning sukuna has shown incredible superiority and detachment towards everyone. except for yuuji. he was ready to mock praise and tease everyone to get more entertaining fights out of them... except for yuuji. yuuji he bullies, diminishes him, tries to break yuuji's spirit. that smells like worry, maybe fear, definitely an attempt at psychological warfare. yuuji irks him, unsettles him.

jujutsu fights are about strength and cursed energy output etc, and so on, but they are also about compatibility as mentioned by gojou and nanami and mahito. also they are about planning and strategy. about understanding jujutsu and the soul, so yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. but also being able to understand your opponent as much as possible, their motivations, their behaviour, their techniques. this is why kenjaku and sukuna bested gojou because they both kept the fight on their own terms. kenjaku by not picking a physical fight at all and making it all about intrigue and cunning, sukuna by exactly tailoring his strategy to his opponent. this is also why gojou lost because even though he knew about the compatibility he didn't think that mattered in his case because he was him, he was gojou satoru, the strongest.

yuuji can win where those two lonely losers failed because:

a) he always performs best when he's fighting alongside others and he's not going in alone. being oriented towards others is the core of his character and it has always been like that. he's bested opponents stronger than him while learning and adjusting during the fight and the presence of others only spurns that on.

b) he's clearly going in with a plan, considering who he's going in with. and he mentioned before that he had a plan how to save megumi. he's been preparing for this. unlike some who decided to wing it...

c) he has a unique understanding of sukuna. and there's also been some hints that there's more to his connection to sukuna, some heian backstory. it's also possible that gojou was right and some of sukuna's technique rubbed off on yuuji, likely sukuna's true technique whatever that is. or at least yuuji has some understanding of it that he could use against sukuna.

d) there's something about yuuji that even sukuna senses and doesn't like. and one thing we can safely say about sukuna at this point, he's got expertise when it comes to these things.

e) yuuji was made specifically by kenjaku to imprison sukuna, and kenjaku is another expert in their field.

f) sukuna has ruined yuuji's life, has made yuuji question himself constantly, has given yuuji so much trauma and guilt, has taken so many people from yuuji. including megumi who yuuji might still hope to save. yuuji is uniquely biased against sukuna and uniquely motivated. gojou and kashimo had no emotional investment in sukuna apart from "senpai notice me i want to be one of the cool kids like you" and "senpai notice me i want to ride the belly mouth" respectively. yuuji has so fucking much more emotional investment. for him it's super personal on so many fucking levels.

this is why yuuji stands a chance against sukuna. this is why his win will never be an ass pull or main character magic. he's been meticulously built up as a character throughout the manga. if someone pays attention to the story, none of what i've written here is shocking to them.

[yourqueenb]

As a continuation of this ask that I responded to, all the things I mentioned are just parts of the overall issue I have with Blades…. which is that, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like MC is simply a plot device for the other characters rather than a fully developed character who has a fully developed and satisfying arc herself. It’s clear that Nia’s is the story the writers really wanted to tell considering how intertwined her characterization/development and the overall world building are. They basically even admitted as much.

So my question is why not just make her the MC if that’s really what you wanted on the not so down low? They still could’ve incorporated the skill mechanic. Why create a whole player character just to have us running to solve everyone else’s problems/support them while acting like everything that happens to us exists inside of a vacuum in the meantime? So far, all we’ve really been doing in this book is reporting where the group needs to go, telling them what to do, having heart to hearts with them when they need help moving to the next stage of their development, and then being spoonfed information through the lore tablets, which are apparently more for the players’ benefit than MC’s since they barely affect how we respond in game anyway. I’m fine with being the leader or the glue that holds everyone together, but to me it’s unsatisfying that that’s all we are as the main character.

We somehow become more competent due to the skill mechanic but no less clueless at the same time. We have all this terrible shit happen to us, but are only offered a few lines’ description of how that’s affected us. And then the rest of the attention goes to setting up the light vs. shadow conflict and our friends, who get to have personal and compelling conflicts of their own. I mean I feel like MC is more of an emotional support animal to them than an actual person with dreams, feelings, and a (minimal) background. Imo the only character who’s getting shafted almost as much as us is Imtura.

And all of this might make it sound like I hate Blades, but it’s quite the contrary actually. It’s still one of my favorite series and has a lot of fun moments and lovable characters. But I think at this point, its flaws have become too large for me to ignore. So that’s still affecting my enjoyment a bit and probably the reason why I’m so upset with how certain things are being handled. Of course I’m aware that Blades isn’t the only book that has some of these issues though. I think it’s just a little more disappointing because I expected more