#me in like most of my classes this semester
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ran into my first student using chatgpt and honestly i was gonna be mad until i thought harder about Why he was using chatgpt and i was like well. that part of the assignment was kind of useless bullshit anyway so yk what that’s on me. consider it gone.
#i think having a new frame of mind while teaching this semester has been sooooo helpful for me#because any time something doesn’t go the way i planned i’m like ok what’s going on here. what’s not clicking#and i think Because my class is so open-ended and i really encourage them to write as genuinely and honestly as they’d like to#most people do end up doing that. like genuinely that’s the only use of chatgpt i’ve spotted in four weeks of class#and ofc that won't Always be the case but most of the time i have to think like#ok am i giving them too tight deadlines or too much work at once#or is the assignment description confusing or is it just busywork that i've assigned for no reason#and i think framing it along those lines. has Reallllllllllllly helped#bc i know for a fact my class is one of the most engaged rn out of the department#literally like almost perfect attendance perfect assignment rate everyone meeting the requirements#and i'm proud of it!!#i really want them to Learn yk and. hopefully they are#anyway. just something to think about
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I cant wait for this semester to end, I can finally escape so many miserable classes I had to take and also like have time to re-open comms, ive been wanting to for a bit
#bapple rambles#IMMMM ALMOOOST FREEE#i cant stand most my classes this semester#the profs are totally fine i like them but the actual subject matter is killing me#thanks art college for giving me classes that i have to take but do nothing to help me with what i actually want to do
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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Fuschia/Magenta?
#*deep breath kicks down uni door*#VERN!!! VERNIFRED!!! I GOT A HUGE BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!!!!! YES YOU!!!!#“we're only gonna read 1 chap of Don Quixote because it's too much to dive into.”#THIS COMING FROM THE MAN WHO MADE US READ THE ENTIRETY OF DANTES INFERNO#WHO MADE US WRITE 20 PAGE ESSAYS ON THE ODYSSEY#WHO MADE US FOLLOW HIS CANTERBURY TALES HYPERFIXATION FOR NOT 1 BUT 2 SEMESTERS#DISSECTING EVERY. FUCKING. CHARACTER. ACTION.#MAKING ME RESENT CHAUCER TO WHERE I COULDN'T WATCH A KNIGHTS TALE FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT#one of my all time favorite movies btw YOU MADE ME HATE THE THING I LOVED VERNIFRED#and you had the GALL to say the class only had 1 chap to dedicate to Don Quixote?#YOU MY FRIEND JUST DIDN'T WANT THE CLASS TO LOSE THEIR SHIT LAUGHING EVERY OTHER CHAPTER#IF YOU'RE AROUND HUMAN HAPPINESS YOU'RE LIKE A WORM DISCOVERING THE BAIT SECTION AT WALMART#ITS EASY TO READ FOR A CLASSIC HAS WIT IS BITTER SWEET AF IS TRAGIC IS FUN AND MAKES YOU WANT TO HAVE CRAZY MAN BIG DICK ENERGY#WHEN YOU HAVE A FOOT IN THE GRAVE#and the banter...THAT SHIT ROCKS#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THIS CAUSE OF MY OWN HYPERFIX WITH LUIS AND I'M READING FOR RESEARCH#these stories FUCK#I AM SO MAD#SO SO MAD MY PEERS AND I GOT A TASTE OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD'VE KEPT US ENGAGED#AND I AM MAD THAT I RESENTED THAT CLASS SO MUCH THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO TOUCH THE CLASSICS FOR A WHILE#and that it took me until I'm 31 WRITING A DAMN FANFIC IN MY SPARE TIME TO READ THE ENTIRETY OF WHAT I FUCKING MISSED OUT ON#astarion voice: IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!!!!#vernifred...can i can i call you vern?#look...i love you. you were one of the most humble profs i had i looked forward to going to class every mon and tues for lecture and reading#i get the hyperfixations my guy i really and truly do#BUT I STILL RESENT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR THIS ONE#i finally get why luis loved this shit so much too and im seeing more connections with re4 now and it feels like the cherry on top of it all#vern....just....SIGH....GIVE THE DON A CHANCE MAN#FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN WHO WILL BE IN YOUR CARE#YOU KNOW...YOU JUST...MAKE ME...GRRRHFHFHHDJDJ!!! 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
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Did you *really* go to college if you didn't do this at least twice a semester?
#my roommates at yonsei- which i'm still amazed Noeul is a yonsei grad- would vanish for DAYS into the library#preparing for their English exams#and like- my girls you have a native english speaker back in the dorm can I help you study#but they would BOTH do this when they finally surfaced for air#sophia- she went by her english name- and ryeong-ah; they were both my Sig#they would come back and just scream 'my bedddd' and dive onto sophia's bed#i say sophia's bed because ryeong-ah couldn't be bothered to climb onto her bunk bed#so she'd just lay quite literally on top of sophia#i have a photo it's one of my favorites because you can see that sophia is about to deliver a violent kick to her spine#love in the air#lita#rain#first semester my roommates were all older than me so i was supposed to be polite and i only ever used polite korean#i was perfectly well behaved#but that first semester in korea my roommates were horrible- all were banned from the program they were so bad#but i remember most that at midterms i was studying so hard for my religion in korean history exams that i'd be at the library until 2am#and then walk back to the dorm a mile away- and like everyone was doing that so it wasn't scary walking the mountain at night#but i'd get back and my roommates would be drunk and yelling in the dorm until 6am or so#and that was almost every night regardless#but during midterms i was so tired and so fried and my classes started at 7am so i wasn't sleeping#and i finally showed my roommates that i can say 'shut the fuck up' in korean without any accent whatsoever
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so since I may be free this summer after all, would anyone be interested in an RP event that's a potluck? I've been wanting to do it for ages but there's never any interest compared to other themes
for a discord rp, I would make a separate server explicitly for this purpose so you don't have to be in any guilds or anything! I would also delete the server (or at least channel, if people would like an event-planning server long-term) after a week - enough time for people to read over their stuff but not preserved forever and ever.
#actually remembering to make this a week-long poll this time!#if you've never heard the term before: a potluck is an event where everyone brings a food they've made to share in a communal feast!#there is no skill floor for this - if you (your character in this case) only knows a simple cornbread recipe they follow by the book that's#-just as welcome as an elaborate roast#and I know people have brought things they bought instead of cooked (like a bakery pie)#the point isn't to show off your cooking skills as much as it is to come together as a community and share :)#its historical origins were a little more complex in function than that but I'm going with what I was raised with#but yeah. it's a theme I've wanted to do a while because it's so community#I AM upset that I won't be busy this summer (rejected from every internship I applied to and can't apply to ones that require a-#-drivers license which is uhh MOST OF THEM!#but my psych was saying it's probably good for me to have some rest and recovery time after this hell semeste#(it wasn't hell but two of my classes have really been fucking with my head)#I DID get to try out darting guns last week in my wildlife sampling/id classes though and I hit the target dead center both times!#and that was fun. but the writing assignments from those other classes are incomprehensible in rubric#OH RIGHT MY TAGS#gw2 open RP night#gw2 rp
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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I can’t lie, whenever someone tells me “school never taught us how to do ___” part of me gets kinda annoyed because 9/10 (at least in Ontario) they did you either didn’t take the course because it was an elective, or it was a required class you never actually paid attention to.
#“they don’t teach financial literacy they do actually it’s just accounting class#“they don’t teach media literacy do you mean English? which is quite literally the only class you have to take all years through school#“school never taught me about voting “ you mean civics? the required class that everyone HAS to take for half a semester to graduate#“I wish I learned about other options for my future other than university careers#which you have to take for the other half of the semester once you’re done with civics#and that’s not even mentioning the fact that you have to be taught stuff like finances and coding in basic math classes#Unironically every single example I’ve ever heard actually HAS a class 9/10 you just never bothered to take it#and then for skills that again#come with classes you HAVE to learn (which are most of them tbh) you never cared to actually show up in class long enough to learn anything
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Just applied for an internship for next semester 🤞 Feeling hopeful about it. I think it’s unpaid but it seems so much more fun and easy than any of the paid ones I’ve considered, and I need a less stressful semester BAD 😭😭 Also then I could possibly get a job on top of the internship? Or just stay blissfully unemployed 🧘♀️ lol. Anyway I really hope I get this one bc it actually seems fun and interesting to me! Like! I would enjoy doing it! And it doesn’t seem to require more than a few hours a week
#hopefully it doesn’t get many applicants#it doesn’t seem like it would but 😰#hopefully my qualifications will help bc I do have more experience than most of the other people who would be applying#most of them are younger/earlier in college anyway (like juniors or first semester seniors) bc I’m kinda late to do my internship lol#hopefully I’m not overqualified…? I’m worried they might not accept me bc I’ve had an internship before#but it didn’t count toward my internship credit bc I started it before starting classes at this uni#sighhhhh anyway ramble over#🤓posting#workposting
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*through gritted teeth* what the fuck do people want from a resume
#this semester i've had three different people look at my resume and all three of them were like contradicting whatever the other person said#one said add references. the other said don't add references. the other said no add them back in#one said add color. one said only do black & white. one said no you should have color#also in terms of content they all differed as well like. guys i just want to get this fucking internship so i can get out of here#i appreciate the feedback but i think it's made me more stressed in the long run#alex’s inane ramblings#plus just now finding out im gonna need to do a fucking seminar probably in addition to my internship unless i want to do 4 credits of#internship. i fucking hate seminars. and it's taught by my advisor who i like. but he knows how fucking quiet i am and calls me out on it o#the daily. which gets on my fucking nerves let me tell you#im the most non-english-major english major to ever exist#don't make me talk. please dear god don't make me talk#plus in this seminar we would be writing a 20 page paper. on american romance lit.#sorry dr. phillis but that sounds godawful#and if i decide to do the seminar it conflicts with another class i need to take so id have to talk to my graphic design advisor about maki#a substitution#hell on earth. why the fuck is graduating so goddamn hard#i don't have enough credits to be staying an extra semester so i have to get this all wrapped up by december#alright im gonna shut up now. college is hard guys
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Lowkey miserable in college
#ive decided its a wash this semester#but god these classes fucking suck#theyre unorganized i dont get my grades back theyre boring the one textbook i have is overly complicated#quizes have questions that are like opinon not just fact and i get them wrong#ive done no fun activities#and the classes are short but only offered at the most fucked times so im there ALL fucking day cause i have 2 hrs between one#like its wasting my fucking time also no ome wants to be in a class at 5 thats fucked up#ughhhhhhhhhhh#having a horrible day and its not even noon#im also convinced that i left the key in the safe (everyone else has done that many times) but i didnt turn it to where it locks#and that the cleaner robbed us (shes very nice i like her she never would) and now im responsible for all the stolen money#and u think thatd be something worthy of a phone call but no ive decides they arenr calling me and have decided to ambush me on friday
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i think the biggest heartbreak at the moment is just now when i realized i fucked up and chose the wrong major
#all that time and money#i only did a stem degree bc my parents pushed me to#and i thought i could just get through it#and now its my second to last semester before i graduate and too late to switch at this point#and im not going to tell my grandparents that they wasted their money towards a degree i dont see myself ever using#it finally dawned on me when i started skipping class more and more often#and couldnt get the energy to get out of bed bc i didnt want to go to class#and being in a constant state of feeling behind with homework and learning new topics#and constantly having to rely on my friends in my major to help me with work bc it doesnt click for me#and seeing everyone around me finding their niche within my major and being so passionate about their future careers#i think im going to have to finish my degree#deal with the workforce for a few years#then go back to school for something else#bc i cant see myself having a career in geolgy for the rest of my life#are some parts of the major cool? yeah#but most of the time i want to pull my hair out and claw out my eyes while in class#i cant keep up#and it really fucking sucks#i feel like i failed#irl
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#i know this is just burnout#but i'm so frustrated with my own body like#the first two years of grad school i was taking 2 classes per semester#sometimes working 1-2 jobs at a time#and then sometimes speaking at conferences too#*while* still slowly working on my thesis#(admittedly not getting very far at all in the writing stage)#and it burned me out *so bad*#and now just taking one class and writing my thesis tires me out tremendously#sure i'm actually *writing* it now and making so much more progress#but i'm no longer working. or taking any other classes. i'll probably do more conference stuff later but...how did i do it all???#also i'm so behind in networking like???#where is my energy???#i can barely even do thesis work for my than 3-4 hours at most before i need to stop for the day..and that's on a good day#idk i feel like i make this post multiple times per year and nothing changes health wise lol#sorry i'm just sitting here in this coffee shop and i want to cry lol i feel so tired and unmotivated lol#grad school tag
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english prof just left LOADS of feedback on my essay omg this is so exciting
#personal#the english chronicles#FINALLY!!!!!!!! someone who doesn’t just slap an a on it and call it a day#most of it is picking at me for passive voice use and my really shitty conclusion paragraph BAHAHA we were limited to 3 pages#and i was really struggling to cut it down bc. the prompt i chose involved 7 different concepts like give examples of these concepts in this#short story but i also had to Define and Explain the concepts and then there was also the intro and conclusion and header block and it’s#double spaced like 3 pages is rlly not enough for this prompt if you want to give a genuine critical analysis. so my conclusion was#extremely short and shallow lmfao but yeah. he also left lots of praise 😌 AND! he left audio recording for everyone?? like damn okay you are#a prof who genuinely wants to see his students improve thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻 yes i only got a 90 which i think is the lowest ive#ever gotten on an essay but idc my respect for him just Shot up. also only four of us got A-range grades so i still feel p okay abt that#and i started the essay night of so all things considered this could have gone worse lol#also i got the top score on the exam last week so still riding that high (i needed the ego boost so bad guys 💀) but anyway. i think he’s#retiring after this semester tho this is so tragic he’s also just a rlly fun nice guy in class too like i would 100% take him again#but yeah. i will concede that i fall into passive voice a lot without realizing it so glad he said smth abt it i will be more mindful 🫡#also i guess i did a couple page citations incorrectly it has been a minute since i touched mla and i thought you could either segue into a#page citation like on so and so page they say this OR do parenthetical in-text citation at the end of a quote but he only wants the#parenthetical type ever. not sure if this is a flat rule of mla or just teacher preference i will b looking into this#edit okay looks like flat rule for mla. my bad 🙈 i only did the segue thing twice instead of the parenthetical citation thankfully
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trying to get a job when ur a stem major is so evil... im sorry sir ill only be available for like 3 hours every day... forgive me
#speaking#and its not even like my major is particularly difficult i just have to take two labs next semester and obv those take up a lot of time#and most of my classes are in person and they're all kinda spaced out which basically means im not free until like. 5pm every day#AND the place im trying to work for is like 25 mins away without traffic so i have to account for that 😭😭😭#it would be really convenient for me to work weekend nights but i have to volunteer during then. ough#im gonna be so busy i really hope i can keep up my grades 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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