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mochamadeleines · 2 months ago

Text

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for.

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much.

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed.

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft.

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open.

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him.

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry.

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead.

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you.

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.”

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay.

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?”

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless.

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you.

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal.

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow, he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.”

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him. “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.”

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured.

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.”

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore.

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible?

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.”

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross.

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you.

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him.

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now.

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts? I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.”

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about.

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door.

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.”

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys.

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match.

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock.

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color. He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.”

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with.

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand.

“Darlin’.”

“Right.”

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?”

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other.

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.”

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat.

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city.

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.”

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you.

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you.

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.”

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress?

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.”

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you.

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down.

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing.

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-”

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.”

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head.

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.”

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt.

“Oh fuck-”

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum.

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath.

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless.

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well.

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel- Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw.

“Hhah- No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me.

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect.

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.”

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead. “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.”

#joel miller #the last of us #hbo joel miller #the last of us part 1 #the last of us season one #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller x you #fanfic #mocha writes #joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal #modern au #smut fic #might cross post to ao3 idk...#pleeaaaase tell me if u guys like this #glaze me glaze me glaze me #Lie 2 me and say u love it...

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majorproblems77 · 10 months ago

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Hello LU fans! I'm back with another LU update analysis! :D

Are you ready cause there's so much to unpack I'm gonna be here a while. Like last time I'm gonna put a timer on lmao, see how long this takes me.

As always grab your popcorn and drink of choice, cause we need hydration in this life.

all art belongs to @linkeduniverse and Jojo, and if I pull panels from any other pages I'll let you know where it's from! :D

Obviously spoilers for Dawn 8 :D

And a note, I've not played TP or WW, you'll see why thats important later.

Let us begin, shall we!

Man, Poor wild, he's probably beating himself up like there's no tomorrow right now. He looks HORIFIED.

Probably because in technicality, he failed.

I love how he's holding his sword here too. Kinda acting as a shield to the conversation.

Same expression as wild. He also looks horrified. Infact the resemblance between these two in uncanny.

Man time really is the dad isnt he. Unimpressed dad look at 12'oclock. Jokes aside he doesn't look angry about it. He looks like he now gathering information from those who finished the fight. As we know once he left with Twilight he was the only other one to not make it back to the fight.

Thats a fair sentence, thinking about it, I think the only other game where Iron Knuckles appear is in one of Hyrule's games? I'm surprised he's not mentioned anything about it.

Most of the others do have armoured enemies though. So while the others dont have direct experience I assume they have the basics.

All but, Sky and Wars None of them fight armoured enemies like that in their games.

I assume because he's defeated this thing like it was a guardian (Stasis and then wailing on it cause that's what i would do lmao) He assumed it was defeated when it exploded into pieces. Like guardians are prone to do. tbh he was probably gonna go back to look for loot at some point.

You tell them Wind. The small hero, underestimated by everyone BUT Time. Was correct thank you.

Justice for the windy boy.

God Wild really is beating himself up about this. I love the fact that we see four's reaction to this statement. As to be honest. Over the last few nights, Four and Wild have had plenty of bonding moments. These guys are gonna become best friends.

And now we get Time.

The way he's looking over these panels. That look. He know's he's the leader of this group but something that Time isn't used to is making Permanent mistakes.

He has the Ocarina of Time, and when he was back in Termina every time something went wrong he could just play the song of Time and restart the three-day cycle with no trouble at all.

Time, as a person. Isnt technically used to failing.

This panel is stunning. It's what I assume is going on inside his head. It's so pretty. It's so detailed it's just oh man easily one of my favourite panels.

now you know i had to talk about panels with my beloved blorbo in.

first off he's so pretty. Jojo has really outdone herself with just how amazing these updates have looked. The lighting the shading its all just so incredible.

The first half of this panel with Sky's face. He, He is beating himself up about the injury. He had nothing to do with it but he cares so much about the rest of the group he feels bad. He kinda looks like he's thinking about it. Like he can see it. Like time did but we dont see inside Sky's head.

Makes me think about what exactly he saw.

And Twilight's face, he looks so sad. His little pout. Poor wolf boy, which we can now call you properly as the rest of them know now.

And to be honest I'm glad he's standing his ground. Mr, My injury isn't that bad before falling over. the stubborn ranch hand strikes again.

The parallels from this frame and the one from later have been mentioned elsewhere but I'm just gonna post the frame here as it's turned up. Run you coward lizard. Run.

Captain link is back. Poor warriors, he's still showing signs of being stressed. He's one of the only one's who hasn't been able to rest over the downtime that they've had. He's been busy being in charge of the group while Time was out.

I can only assume it's only a matter of time before this comes back to get him. Maybe he is next on the chopping block? (Pun kinda intended) Something could happen and he messes up and gets hurt of causes someone to get hurt.

oh and also

THE SCARF

THE SCARF THE SCARF

IT HAS RETURNED ALL HAIL THE BLUE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BLANKET WARRIORS NEEDED YOU.

None of us did, Hyrule.

The boys ever, I'm glad they are talking about this like this. And that it's legend who's starting to throw ideas out there like this. As the one who's got the most experience in the group, it makes sense that he would be the one to start offering ideas as to Why not just how.

Because you pissed it off Sky. Because half of you pissed it off. In fact I do believe he had a bunch of panels in Shifting Shadows pt2 where you indeed pissed it off.

The entire reason it started running from you and Twilight had to track it was because of FI's reaction to his sword.

Wait... that explains the guilt. It is actually potentially Sky's fault. Or if he's anything like I think he is. He remembers that fight with the shadow and knows.

He knows.

Also, with clenched fist Sky is ready for a fight. Next time the shadow turns up I assume he's gonna go after it when it's inevitablebly goes after Twilight/Wild. Maybe he'll jump in after being told not too because the Master sword appears to be the only thing as of right now that can fight the red stuff that comes off the shadows sword.

did you hear Warriors shiver? I did.

And you'd know all about that wouldn't you Four. :D

Also

Mandatory Sky appreciation picture

Him's my beloved blorbo. He's wonderful. Such a lil guy. Bestest bean. My beloved. /pl

Anyway moving on

Oh yeah, the amount of power that the items list contains We've seen the arsenal that they have between them (in the December art).

We saw what just Time could do.

Now add the rest of them and the enemies dont stand a chance. They've just gotta figure out how to either avoid the weapons of each other or work as a team with the arsenal in hand to fight better.

Like imagine if Twilight used his gale boomerang to send Wild into the air.

(Writer brain go brr, gonna write that down)

It's basically Revalis Gale.

This man is so damn dramatic I love him

And here's the parallel frame

the shadow running towards Warriors vs running away from Twilight.

You know thinking about it... Shadow didn't shapeshift until Twilight did. The push towards Warriors was when shadow thought they were on level footing.

But when Twilight went after Dink, he was the one who had to flee because he lost his advantage.

ANGRY SKY ANGRY SKY ANGRY SKY

The man is pissed that Shadow hurt Twilight. He is so damn mad and I think that he is saying what he would assume Fi would. (With more emotion because well, Fi)

Also that last frame.

TIME AND SKY ANGST ON THE HORIZON?

time is looking towards the master sword. And he looks angry. This will absolutely have gone unnoticed by the others because if they saw he was angry it was probably just because of the conversation topic.

god I love the dynamic here and I'm excited to see if it goes anywhere

Him's I love his simple way of agreeing its wonderful.

I approve to wind let's go blow some stuff up!

Hyrule shows the group why he is called the traveller. The man just wants to go on his adventures let him go!

Sky is so proud of himself

this face says 'Look guys I didn't give it to the weird toilet hand! :D'

I love this man a healthy amount.

One last thing before I go

I love this update as a whole, seeing the group gear up and getting to see the layers of the armour and straps and fastenings being put on while they are having this discussion is amazing.

I'd give you a collection of pictures but Tumblr is being rude and I can't post more than 30. So you can have these as all four panels show what I'm talking about.

Twilight adjusting his gauntlets warriors adjusting his scarf.

Hyrule attaching his shield to his back and putting his sword strap on.

God, I love this update so much. It was amazing and I very much enjoyed it. Let me know what you think! :D

Thank you as ever for reading my rambles i appreciate you :D

Have a wonderful day and dont forget to hydrate! See you next time!

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waterloggedsoliloquy · 1 year ago

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mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

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dungeonmeshi-confessions · 4 months ago

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I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

#dungeon meshi confessions #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi

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squidinkedcreative · 11 months ago

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aaaaaaa brain is putting things together about izzy and i just :( damn

also going to say this now that if ur an izzy hater, this post isnt for u! pls dont engage :) thank u

saw art with a quote from a post about izzy, talking about how some people find it touching that he’s buried in the yard of the inn, but this person didn’t. it made them feel sick because he’s buried there like a dog. and just first of all yeah. at first it was touching to me bc of that sentiment that they’re keeping him near them, even in death, but the more i thought on it the more my stomach also churned.

i know djenks had the best intentions with how izzy’s character and arc were treated but jfc ya missed the mark. by a wide margin. like hello???? having the entire point of his arc in season two be discovering himself and growing into himself, hell even standing up for himself and letting himself hold on a little looser to his baggage and just put down the baggage he chose to carry on behalf of the man he loved only for him to die like an episode or two later. and the crew acts like nothing happened just. it doesnt sit right with me and it hasnt since the first time i saw it.

i know its for “plot” reasons, but there was no other way to convey any of this than maiming him like the family dog nobody actually likes??? like a grimy mutt?? without him LITERALLY DYING????????????????? AT THE VERY END OF THE SEASON??????? AND NOT EVEN HAVE THAT BE THE MAIN MESSAGE FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE??? you had to stomp all over his dead body with a fucking wedding. yes yes good for lucius and pete i really do love them and i am happy for them, but its like they all just. moved on. and forgot about izzy. and trust me i am FULLY aware of how complex grief is, but still. it stings. it feels like its watering down the impact izzy had on everyone on the crew.

he and the kraken’s crew grew so close that they tried to keep him alive even tho they all knew if the kraken found out, they’d all be paying with blood. they MADE HIM. A PROSTHETIC. AND PAINTED IT. they cheered him on when he came out in drag and sang in fucking FRENCH!!!!!!! and then he dies and like 3 minutes later theres a wedding and another party. it feels tasteless. it feels demeaning.

and i 100% think djenks roped izzy and ed into the Bury Your Gays trope without thinking that through. elder queer man who is traumatized dozens of times over who just fucking came to terms with himself AND WHO JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO EDWARD!!!! dies. shortly after that, timeline wise. thats the fucking trope. it’s literally right there.

AND THEN. they fucking bury him in the YARD. LIKE A DOG. in the far corner where they wont see it and be reminded of him every day. out of sight out of mind. they’ll move on and grow old together, blissfully happy, while izzy’s bones are the only thing left of the man who once was Israel Hands, First Mate to the legendary Blackbeard. he never got to have his mutual pining moment, he never got to find the true love of his life and grow old with them. he doesnt get to die fulfilled, with labored breaths, as old age takes him. he gets to sit and watch from the corner as ed and stede, his ex of sorts and the guy he replaced him with, live that happily ever after. he gets to sit in the corner like a bad dog and watch as these two get everything he ever wanted. just like the unwanted family pet.

it makes me ill. he deserved so much better. he deserves better than doggy heaven, he deserves better than being roped into the fucking Bury Your Gays trope too.

#ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd izzy hands #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death season 2 #our flag means death s2 #israel hands #just thinking about this a lot tonight :)#deff normal thinking :) yep :)

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ikoarts · 11 months ago

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September 2023 Art

train derangement in full swing x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/09/2023 : really wanted to draw Ru n Toni in some eveningwear, was a fun opportunity to draw Toni a bit more masc... shes so hot wtf!!! i love these ladies

2, 3 - 04/09/2023 : a Trixie pen doodle, which I ended up turning into a full digital piece..... which i procrastinated on for months, but hey at least i Did finish it! also a little human TTTE au doodle... its Diesel and hes silly... i doodled him in the oingo boingo only a lad pose bc, damn, he really is only a lad

4 - 05/09/2023 : another human Diesel, i did end up tweaking a lot of these initial human designs, so don't get too comfy with em, but oh my.. could it be... Goopy makes another boingo reference? how peculiar that never ever happens..... anyway Perfect System is my fave Diesel song.. in my head is an AMV that will never be made

5, 6, 7 - 06/09/2023 : first, some ideas for my human Edward, thought i might as well include these, for the craic i guess x ... then a rare one of Toby (i havent drawn him since.. i should change that) and Diesel, then that one barbie meme with Edward n James, dont get comfy with either of these designs coz they're not sticking x

8 - 07/09/2023 : a pencil drawing emerges.. Eddie again, with his initial design i was gonna go with, i think the side profile is especially cute..

9 - 09/09/2023 : aaand heres the design i've currently settled on! im much happier with this, and its one of my fave drawings of last year, even if its nothing too special, hes just so cute, and thats really it

10 - 10/09/2023 : silly phone doodle of my human percy.. he drank 2 meny monsters.. cuz i think he would ig.. splort on the floor

11, 12 - 15/09/2023 : another silly (very quick) phone doodle.. i like the idea of Edward taking Diesel under his wing and nobody else can quite understand why, ALSO Edward n Emily friendship? lets go... gays stick together and listen to belinda carlisle its true

13 - 17/09/2023 : YET ANOTHER silly one... oo shes so silly so quirky... i just think if Edward ended up in TATMR he would destroy D10 like thats probs why he wasnt included... hes too powerful

14, 15, 16 - 21/09/2023 : human Diesel shenanigans, first isnt my fave thing ive done and again his design is now outdated BUT the little one of him flipping you off is so funny to me like you get em lil guy!! also Edward again big surprise. holding his little gremling

17 - 29/09/2023 : watched tobias and the last pariah and all i could think about was this meme of the brown eyes vs blue eyes thing so i doodled them on my phone

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cupoftaae · 2 years ago

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Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 2) (chapter 14)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 7k (pretty long 4 me!)

warnings- this chapter was really emotional for me to write, theres content warnings that go beyond the usual. If you are sensitive to certain topics and feel that reading stories triggers you, please don't read this. beside from that, theres swearing, smut, drinking, angst. this is a long one.....pls dont hate me after this

a/n- Hi sweethearts ahhh ive been slacking with my content and I apologize, i am working on a drabble/oneshot for you guys and its pretty long, I tend to get distracted easily so its taking longer than expected, hate to neglect my current story. Hope u enjoy! -Nini

"go stand over there"

You embarrassingly looked back at your boyfriend, his large camera in his hand as he pointed you over to a statue

"noo"

"just do it, cmon you look cute" he smiled and teasingly pushed you over before holding his camera up. "smile"

You fixed your hair and your hat, smiling brightly as taehyung took your photo. "You look beautiful" he chuckled, reviewing the picture. "definitely the prettiest artwork here"

"shut up" you nudged him, hiding your face in his chest before you began walking around the museum again.

Your hands were locked in together, eyes widening at every amazing piece of art you came across. "you know....I wouldnt be surprised if one day your paintings were in here"

"you think?" he smiled, amused

"mhm, no doubt."

He kissed your temple, hand now resting on the small of your back before weaving your way through a small crowd.

"I am already thinking of my next piece, you know?"

You raised an eyebrow, giggling "yeah? what is it?"

Taehyung laughed, spinning around to look back at you, "thats for me to know and you to find out"

"oh here we go..." you roll your eyes, laughing at the boys antics.

You had to admit, so far things were perfect. The only thing you had to focus on was Taehyung and Paris, to say you were content was an understatement.

"so...I was thinkingggg" he dragged out his words, eyes glancing to you as you walked into a room full of naked statues

"yes?"

"tonight. dinner, you and me, La Veranda's"

You blush, circling around the exhibit "am I supposed to know what La Veranda's is?"

Taehyung circles and meets you around one of the statues, a cheeky smile apparent. "La Veranda, its a restaurant not too far from the hotel. my treat"

"hmm" you took one of his hands "sound fun to me"

"just because im paying?"

"no!" you giggle, tapping his shoulder "I wanna have fun with you, it sounds good, even if Im not the biggest fan of french cuisine."

"oh we will have fun alright"

"okay bye" you jokingly turned away and walked into another room, small laughs heard behind you as taehyung caught up. "Im teasing, yes it sounds really good, thank you angel" you pressed a peck to his cheek, hands entwining once more.

"mm" he groaned, not satisfied with such a small kiss, his other hand tilting your head back to meet his lips.

"ever had Museum sex?"

"are you like permanently horny?" you giggled, pushing away and making sure no one heard.

"well yes, and so are you, so shut up" he smirked, "and sex isnt taboo here, Paris is like the sex symbol of all countries"

"No one has ever said that"

"theres nude beaches!"

"taehyung thats just Europe, people here are comfortable with themselves" you giggle, shrugging.

"okay but imagine going to a beach, nude, in Korea"

"I dont wanna imagine it, because it doesn't sound appealing. Here or there"

He laughs, taking a picture of a large painting in front of you, "im just saying...."

"saying that its okay to be horny in Versailles?"

"exactlyyy" he finger pointed before linking arms with you. "ready?"

You nod, smiling as you two exit what has to be your 4th museum of the day. You werent expecting this to be as fun as it was, perhaps it was taehyung who made it 10x more enjoyable.

"are you gonna get mad if I grab a beer over there?" he pointed to a small pub that stood along the open street of stores and bakeries, the smell was unimaginably good.

"my love you don't have to be sober just because I am, of course you can grab a drink" you explained, walking across the street with him.

He sighed, "ok but I feel bad, you cant even have coffee?"

"nope" you smile sadly, fidgeting with his hand as you sat in line with him.

His eyes looked around the area until it landed on a bakery, "ok well after this, I'll go over and grab you a hot chocolate and croissant"

"how incredibly french" you giggled, laying your head against his shoulder

"oui" he spoke, beginning to laugh

"oh I didnt know you spoke french" you tease

"theres a lot you dont know, Madam" he spoke in an accent, pulling his wallet out to pay for his beer

Once you two settled, you caught a cab over to Tuileries Garden, where surprisingly there was not many people around. You both sat down on chairs and embraced the warm welcoming sunshine that pressed against your skin.

"shouldve brought sunscreen huh?" you whisper, looking over at taehyung

"mm...I dont burn"

"you said that last summer when we went to the beach with your friends, you cam home looking like a lobster." You hid a giggle, watching him with loving eyes

"nooo" he blushed "that was only that one time, im fine"

"if you say so" you yawned, leaning down in the recliner as you looked up at the sky, beautiful trees surrounding the small hidden area you were in.

Paris was such a stimulating place to be, your mind could be draped away from all the hell youve been stressing out with, for once you felt like you were just living, is this how normal people felt?

Part of you wished this would never end, that you and Taehyung would plant your feet in the ground of this very spot and grow old together in one of the most romantic places in the world. Maybe it was the hot chocolate you had earlier, but this place had healing properties.

Taehyungs eyes stayed glued to your body as you laid, unaware.

He was unable to help the smile that stuck to his face, seeing his best friend, the love of his life, finally look at peace brought a great sense of comfort to him. You looked so beautiful, and he wanted to capture every moment with you for himself. He was greedy, and didnt care.

Without saying anything, he pulled his camera out of his bag and began taking photos of you

"what are you doing?" you giggled, blushing

"youre so pretty, baby" he walked over to your chair, propping himself up at the end of it.

"dont take photos of me right now please" you pout, hiding your face as he comes up and lightly hovers you

"when will you just let me love you, hm?" his voice was soft, humor within it.

"I just dont want my photo taken" you look up at him

"these are for me, no one else." he pressed a kiss to your neck, whispering "I want to just remember everything we do together"

You smiled at his sweetness, a hand coming up to tangle into his hair as you pressed a kiss to his lips, he quickly reciprocated, a small chuckle.

With a swift movement, he got up and pulled you with him, encouraging you to hold onto his back.

"what if I hurt you?" you blush

"youre not gonna, now cmon" he smiled, holding your legs as you climbed to his back. He began walking around as your arms draped around his shoulders, head resting against them.

"taehyung" you hummed, fingers delicatley tracing his shirt

"hm?"

"promise me we will come back here?"

He chuckled, "baby, its our first day-"

"I mean...like...later in life. promise that we will still find time for us?"

He sighed at your words, "of course we will, are you worried that we wont?"

"well, with the baby and stuff...I dont know I guess." you close your eyes "I just dont want things to change"

A sad smile appeared on his face, "things have to change, and they are most definitely going to for us." he paused "doesnt mean its a bad change, not all things are bad, my love....its part of life"

You nodded, kissing his nape gently. "I just love you so much, and I dont want anything to happen to us."

"why do you think something will happen? im here for you, now, tomorrow, next month and forever. you cant ditch me" he smiled.

"I dont know..." you blushed, leaning your head back down as taehyung piggybacked you through the small trail.

There was more you wanted to say, but you had not wanted to worry him. Despite things going well right now, you anticipated the fall, you anticipated when all of this happiness and euphoric excitement would disappear...because it always did. Life was a little too good to be true.

its like you knew something bad was coming, and all you can do is wait.

Taehyung was sitting on the bed, waiting for you to exit the bathroom so you both could head to dinner. He nervously adjusted his shirt, he could laugh at how silly he felt, it was like he was a high schooler getting ready for prom or something.

He couldnt explain why, but he had the urge to just spoil you, impress you in anyway he knew how.

His own mind had been plaguing him for a while now, that perhaps once the baby arrives, you will realize hes not fit for it, and leave.

So here he was, offering every limb he had to bend over backwards for anything you wanted. Taehyung would give up everything just to keep you, and he hoped you saw it.

"okay, tell me what you think of this one" you exited the bathroom finally, after changing your outfit for the 4th time

He swallowed harshly, his eyes shooting over every part of you

"is it bad?" you whispered, blushing as your hands trailed over the sickly black cocktail dress....definitely something out of your comfort zone, but you bought it before the trip as a surprise for taehyung, you knew he liked to see you wear things like that.

"you look..." he mentally told himself to stop acting creepy "absolutely gorgeous"

You blushed once more, pushing your hair back as you walked closer to him. He couldnt deny the fact that the dress hugged every inch of your skin perfectly, your cleavage was definitely something he'd have to remind himself to not oggle at out in public, he was a gentleman after all...

"you think..?"

He nodded, his cheeks red as he pulled you closer to him, hands resting on your hips before running over your bump, "my love, are you trying to kill me?"

You giggle softly, pressing your hands over his as he looked up at you "you look really handsome, baby" you bit your lip

"thank you but....look at you, god"

You giggle once more, gently sitting on his lap as he kissed your neck and collar bones, "oh and you smell good?" his nose inhaled the scent of your skin, a sense of desire coursing through you at his touch. "people are gonna see us out in public and wonder what a pretty girl like you is doing with me" he teased, mouth kissing over your low chest line.

"taehyung" you whisper, hands gently stopping him. "If we dont leave now I dont think we will be able to stop ourselves"

He laughed, "im sorry y/n, youre right." he gently stood, holding your hand, "stand here for me" he pointed to in front of the mirror as he grabbed his camera and stood behind you, his free hand on your bump as he captured the reflection.

"lets go, sweet girl" he pecked your lips before heading out the hotel room with you.

You didnt know it yet, but tonight would be one of the best nights youve had in your life.

"I am most certainly not eating snail...knock yourself out" you laughed, passing over the plate to your boyfriend who eagerly took a piece and sniffed it

"its escargo, to be technical" he corrected, popping it in his mouth and nodding.

"same thing, thats so gross" you whisper, looking away

The atmosphere of the restaurant was quiet and peaceful, it was late now and so the beautiful string lights hung up on the outdoor patio illuminated the area.

"for real though, how is the food?" he smiled, taking a sip of his wine.

"its so good, I am not usually one for french food but this...this is good" you pointed down at your Gratin d’aubergine, which, in simpler terms is just grilled eggplant with melted cheese and tomato sauce, topped with chopped veggies.

Taehyung originally encouraged you to get the same he got, which was the shellfish dish, until you reminded him that pregnant women shouldnt have shellfish.

"how do you know all of this already?" he teased, taking a bite of his food as the candle light in front of you lit up the table.

"lotttts of research, mostly anxiety driven" you chuckle, looking back at him.

He smiled shyly, wiping his mouth and looking at the view of the city, sky now blanketing darkness.

"what are you thinking about?" you rested your head on the palm of your hand

"dunno" he smirked, "just..how you are already doing so good with everything...like you have it all figured out"

You giggle, "you think I have i figured out?"

"well I mean, you know all this stuff about the baby and, here I was, about to feed you fish like an idiot" he exhaled

"hey.." you reached out to hold his hand over the table, soft eyes in his direction. "I dont have a choice, its my body and I need to know how to protect it and shit" you add, "youre not an idiot for not knowing something baby, you are doing so well" you whisper

He blushed and rubbed his thumb against your joined hands, "im really scared"

"and thats perfectly okay...we have time to get comfy before anything happens. I mean, look, you already cleared your room so we could store all the baby stuff in there, you know what your doing my love, im scared too, and im so glad you told me"

"everything happened so quick I feel like I was thrown into a role that I know nothing about. Im excited, like...really excited, but im so worried of messing up" he admits

"hey, messing up is part of life, we all have our ups and downs. we will not be the first parents to probably have a mistake here and there, and we most certainly wont be the last either." your voice was quiet, "and plus...the fact that you even care right now is more than enough."

He nodded gently, squeezing your hand as the waitress came over and asked for our ideas on dessert, you spoke to her as taehyung watched, his eyes tracing every inch of you carefully, so desperatley wishing he could climb into your mind and figure out everything you ever wanted, so he could provide that to you.

The way your hand naturally fell over your stomach as you spoke to the woman made him smile, you were already a great mother, and he only prayed he would fulfill the dad role. He wondered in that moment how your own dad could leave you when you were young. The feelings taehyung has for you but not only your child that isnt even born yet is so incredibly strong, he could never in a million years imagine trading it for some other thing that passes along.

And he assumed you had reservations about taehyung possibly being like your dad, given that your times with men growing up always failed you, he wanted to prove that he was the best. Taehyung was the best. Perhaps it was cocky thinking, but he truly knew you inside and out like no other, even before romantic feelings became involved.

He knows that you like to sleep on the right side of the bed, always, no matter what.

He knows that you have 2 cups of hot coffee every morning, then an iced in the afternoon, and he knows that its always that french vanilla creamer you use as well.

He even knows your showering routine, wash and condition hair, shave, scrub body and rinse, but you always stay in there for an extra 20 minutes as your Spotify shuffles songs.

Hell...he even knows when your damn period is. He downloaded the app for you!

The man knows what you are, who you are, and highly doubts anyone else can do the job.

Your foot gently nudged against his ankle underneath the table, a small smirk on your face brought him back to reality.

"footsies in the french restaurant?" he asked, faking shock

A small giggle escaped your lips, "I ordered dessert"

"hm?"

"creme caramel...I dont know if you are a fan or not-"

"that sounds delicious" he smiled, reaching over to grab your hands as he admired you

"you have a tendency to stare, you know?"

He smiled shyly, "sorry, i'll stop"

"no its cute...I just get embarrassed" you spoke

"embarrassed of what? we've known each other forever and pretty girl still gets shy...."

You hid your face, cheeks bright pink "well yeah....because you look at me like that"

"like what?"

"like you are thinking of not appropriate things" you said matter of factly, looking back at him

"thats cause I am" he smirked, foot rubbing against your calve

You darted your eyes down to the beige table cloth, that familiar arousal sitting in the center of your stomach as you bit your lip amusingly.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped once the waitress placed the desserts on the table, your eyes grew wide like a little girl in a candy shop unsupervised.

"wait dont dig in yet, I wanna picture" you mumble, pulling your phone out and snapping it

"now whos the one whos photographing everything?"

You giggle, "Stop, dont tell me that doesn't look delicious.."

his eyes looked at you as you put your phone in your purse, "it does"

Once you began eating, you both awed over how flavorful it was, wishing that you knew how to bake better so you could replicate such desserts back in Korea.

"annie bakes" he teased

"do not bring her name up here!" you nudged him, "I dont care if she bakes food, you know what else she bakes? drama! a whole lot of it!" you smile, shaking your head as you went in for another bite

"I know" he nods, drinking his water "we really dont have friends huh?"

"nope" you laughed, looking at him as you sucked on the fork, "we have each other though"

"you're not sick of me yet?" he tilted his head, humor within his voice

"never.."

You guys spent the rest of the night talking and bringing up funny stories and memories as you finished dessert. You do admit that having a glass or two of wine would have been enjoyable, but you could get buzzed of taehyung alone. As you two left the restaurant, it began to rain slightly

"oh shit, I didn't bring jackets" he frowned, standing at the entry of the door as you both watch the rain fall, the pace and heaviness picking up. He wanted to see if there was any stores close so you could grab an umbrella or coverings, but t was already 10pm, so most places were closed for the night.

"we dont need em!" you giggle, running down the steps and into the rain, hair beginning to dampen.

He looked at you in shock for a moment before running after you, a gleam in his eyes as you grabbed his hand, running down the sidewalk together.

"wait!" you laugh, holding onto his shoulder as you lean forward to untie your heel laces, sliding the shoes off and holding them so you could begin to run again.

It was just like a movie, you felt so much joy in that moment that you didnt even care you were soaked, the fullness feeling in your stomach from how much you ate now an afterthought.

The wide street was empty, most people ran indoors for cover while you pulled him close, he gasped softly and kissed you, rain beginning to pick up even more so.

You laughed against his lips, "i love you"

"I love you too" he spun you around before beginning to run again, at this point, both of you were drenched without a care in the world.

"im having so much fun!" you yell over the loud ambience of the water pouring, he squeezed your hand and nodded, keeping up with your pace "me too!"

It was like you both had transported back to the age of 14, when there were a few times you both would run home after school in the rain.

He hasnt seen you so happy in so long, he didnt want this to end.

"baby we should call a cab!" you lean into his ear, moving damp hair out of your face

"mm" he nodded, ignoring what you said, standing under an overhead of a closed building as he pulled you closer, lips connecting again.

Your arms draped over his shoulders as you quite literally made out in public. If someone saw, you didnt care.

His lips attacked that sensitive spot on your neck, making you gasp softly, eyes fluttering shut before hands grabbed onto his shirt.

"l-lets go back to the room" you managed to mutter, lips on his once more as your tongues met.

when in France, you french kiss, right?

"good idea" he mumbled against your mouth before reluctantly pulling away to grab his phone that luckily was tucked safely in his dry bag.

He called a taxi and waited with you until it arrived.

Climbing into the backseat, you quickly told the driver the address to the hotel and paid him in advance, shutting the door behind you.

The driver nodded and began to drive, the dark atmosphere of the car only tempted taehyung more so, his hand climbing to your inner thigh as you kissed in the back seat, your own hands roaming over him as well.

You were compelled to press sweet kisses all over the boys face, noticing even in the dark, that your lipstick made its marks.

It felt like it took forever to get back, but he was the first one out, almost dragging you out the cab behind him.

You made sure to thank the driver again as you rushed inside, the two of you giggling like little kids while running through the lobby.

"where the key?" you whisper in the elevator, hands digging into his bag

"bottom pocket, left side zipper" he looked down, watching you find it and take it out.

Wandering the hall, you both shushed eachother "we are being way too loud" you whisper, giggling at his sarcastic face as he pulled you into the doorway of your room.

"i dont care" he shrugged, pulling you in and shutting the door.

The room's AC was on, goosebumps quickly scattering over your skin as you exhaled, a smile on your face as you followed him over to the bed.

Taehyung smiled as well, dropping his back and shoes in the corner of the room before slowly coming over, leaning down to kiss you again. "mm...you still taste like caramel"

You giggled, "baby look in the mirror" you pointed him away as he caught a glance of his reflection, your lipstick marks covering his cheeks, nose, forehead and lips. "jesus christ" he mumbled, smirking

"what did you do to me?" he teased, coming back to the bed as you laughed, holding your stomach. "oh its funny?" he giggled, gently crawling over you and shutting you up with another kiss, which deepened quickly.

"yknow..." he began "took a lot in me to not touch you at that resteraunt"

His confession made you blush, your hands already working on unbuttoning his white shirt, now completely drenched in rain. "yeah?"

"mm" he kissed your neck, sucking on the skin as he assisted you by taking his own shirt off, tossing it somewhere off the bed.

"very respectful.." you mumble, now trying to undo his pants, eyes connected to his.

"you dont even realize how fucking sexy you are" he spoke, tossing away his pants as well before he was left in just his boxers...now it was his turn to begin to undress you.

The soft, beige pale light illuminated the room, glowing on taehyungs tan skin, something that you noticed quickly. "im not that sexy" you blush, his hand slowly and gently pushing the straps of your dress off your shoulders, so careful, almost as if he would break you.

"oh but you are, baby...god look at you"

He pulled down the dress, taking it off of you and being more gentle when he put it away, knowing it was expensive. His eyes widened at your red lingerie you had on beneath, the lace catching his attention. "is this for me?" he giggled, "so honored" he kissed you deeply before trailing his lips to your neck and chest.

You blushed again as you watched him make his way down to your stomach, stopping for a moment to press kisses all over your bump. You know he saw the stretch marks, something you had grown self conscious about, but he didn't say anything, instead he continued to touch you like glass, moving in ways that brought you love and comfort. "dont take the bra off, I wanna watch you cum in it"

You felt your body heat up at his sudden vulgar words, "o-okay" you whispered, glancing back down at him as he tried to move closer to your center. His hands gently pried open your thighs more, lips attaching to the inner skin quickly."wait...baby" you exhale, making him stop.

"hm?"

"You dont need to do that, im ready, just please...." you hated how needy you sounded, but it was true. You didnt need him to do anything extra other than just make love to you, you were desperate for that connection, desperate for the intimacy and close faces.

"are you sure...?" he seemed confused, eyebrows raised as his hand lightly grazed over your clothed slit, thumb slightly pressing onto your clit making you gasp

"yeah...uh, yeah, im sure" you mumble, shyly.

He smirked, pressed one last kiss to your navel before crawling back up to your face, his hands fidgeted with his own boxers before sliding them off, his cock erect as he stroked himself a few times.

You watched, biting your lip before taking off your own underwear, his gaze on your lower half making you smile.

"oh wow, you are ready" he whispered, two of his fingers gently gliding through your slick, making you whimper,

"please...just, dont tease...." you mumble, arms thrown over his shoulders "I need you so bad"

"i know baby, I know" he leaned down to kiss you when he felt a tear drop from your eye. "did I do something wrong?" he immediately pulled away "what happened my love?"

You shook your head, "I just love you" you were embarrassed again, but didnt care about being vulnerable "dont go" you whisper

Taehyung was a little confused, but chose to simply wipe your eyes, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips as he grasped your hand, "im...im not going anywhere...you have me, im here, forever okay?" he spoke close to your ear. "I love you so much"

"I love you...." you looked at him with sad eyes, obviously more to the emotions than just hormones. "do you want to stop?" he questioned softly

"no, please no"

"okay" he exhaled, kissing you again when you pulled him closer, chests touching.

He dragged his cock through your folds, gathering wetness before beginning to press in. No matter how many times you both have done it, he checked up to your face, "are you okay?"

You gasped at the intrusion, waiting until he bottomed out to speak, "yes....oh.." you laid your head back against the pillow as he carefully grasped a hand on your hip bone, the other entwined with your fingers. Taehyungs head found its cozy spot between your shoulder and ear, kissing the skin as he set a gentle and slow-ish pace, making sure you were okay with it.

Its you, youre you, and he couldnt ask for anything better because it simply doesnt exist. He restrained any instinct to just ruin you and go quicker, knowing that in this moment going slow was what you both needed

"you feel so good" his voice was raspy, any confidence he had was now out the window as he pushed deeper inside, your velvety walls soaking up every inch of his cock perfectly.

"baby..." you moan, eyes closed. It was just maybe one of the prettiest sounds he had ever heard, you were like an angel. How is it possible for one woman to be so perfect in every way?

He felt your fingers dig deeper into his back, your lower body squirming slightly. "here...." he whispered, bunching up a blanket and putting it under you so he could hit a different angle.

When he continued thrusting, you arched your back at the contact. Whatever he was looking for, mission success.

"ahh-...baby, please" you whimper, mouth falling open as your moans filled the hotel room, the sounds of sweaty bodies moving against each other filling your ears.

"so pretty for me huh? always so beautiful, my girl" his voice echoed through your body, mindlessly filling your senses and bringing you out of the earth.

He moved up a bit, pressing his elbows on either side of your head as he leaned down, your faces nearly touching as you cupped his cheeks. "I love you so much, fuck, you treat me so well...." your eyes closed in pleasure, taehyung watching you unravel beneath him was such a pretty sight.

His hand snaked down between your bodies and eagerly rubbed your clit, an entirely different pace from the slow one he used to thrust you into the mattress.

"taehyung!" you tossed your head back, clawing at his skin as you tried your best to keep your moans in. Taehyung dove down to kiss your cleavage, licking a stripe between your breasts.

It took a few more times of his dick dragging into your g-spot before he had you cumming. You moaned into his shoulder, for a moment you believed you would pass out from what might have been the best orgasm you ever had. You definitely loved any sex with Taehyung, but slow and sensual always did it the best for you.

"can you hold out a lil longer baby?" he panted into your neck, continuing to move despite your sensitivity.

"yes..." you spoke, breathless as you grabbed into his hair, kissing his skin as he chased his high.

"ah f-fuck" he groaned, halting his movements as he spilled into you "god baby, i....fuck" Tae whimpered

you immediately pulled him closer to lay on your chest, "love you..."

"love you" he held your hand, both of you catching your breath from what just happened.

"that was really nice" his voice made you open your eyes, looking at him

"it was.." you couldn't help but smile as you watched him begin to pull out, you could feel his semen leaking between your legs. "maybe we should shower..." you giggled tiredly.

After you both cleaned up, you tossed on a new set of bra and underwear, getting back into the comfy bedsheets before he came out of the bathroom not too long after, a new pair of boxers around him.

"dont come into the bed with wet hair, you freak" you joke, watching him smile as he whips his head around like a dog, the water splattering all over the room.

"thanks..." you groan, sinking down further under the covers as he shuts the light off.

"you're so welcome" he climbed under the bedsheets and held you close to him, his gentle smooth skin brushing against yours. "today was really fun"

You smiled, holding him as well. "it was, thank you for everything...like seriously"

He gazed at you lovingly, his hand playing with your semi-damp hair. "you dont have to thank me, you know....I just"

wanna give you my world

"wanna make you happy"

You smiled, tracing his face with your fingers, "i already am"

"yeah?"

"mm" you leaned forward to kiss him, he still tasted like toothpaste after just brushing his teeth but you didnt care.

Once you fell asleep in his arms, he covered you both up more with the blanket as he kissed your temple, "my girl" he whispered, closing his eyes before drifting off.

The next morning

It was still raining, but that didnt stop taehyung from waking up early and heading out while you still laid in bed, sleeping peacfully.

He wanted to surprise you

Taehyung politely spoke to the florist, explaining what he wanted as she went to prepare the flowers for him. He smiled and leaned against the window, watching how the rain gathered in small puddles on the side of the street, car tires splashing into them.

"here you go Monsieur"

He turned to see the bouquet of purple and pink flowers, tied together beautifully with a teal ribbon

"ah! Merci!" he bowed his head, handing her the cash before he exited back to the hotel. He stopped in the lobby and found his way to the food court, which was rather full of business men and women eating breakfast. He smiled, passing by the tables until reaching the large pick and choose food area.

He knew you liked fruit, so he grabbed a Styrofoam container and began putting them into it.

that was your number one craving at the moment, strawberries, so he packed extra, along with a small bagel.

There was no occasion for his sudden desire to show you love, he just felt like it, and thought that maybe you had been dealing with some negative thoughts after seeing your behavior the day prior.

The goal wasnt to get you to talk to him, more so an act of saying "hey, im always here, love you" and shit.

He gathered everything up, including a hot tea, as he got into the elevator. He was nervous of dropping something, mentally praising that your room number wasnt far from where the elevator dropped off.

Placing the container and tea on the floor, he pulled out the key card and opened the door, quickly grabbing them again and walking in. A quick scan of his eyes traced the room to confirm you werent in the small kitchen area.

"whew.." he smiled, putting the flowers and food down onto the counter as he took his shoes off, hanging up his coat that was still wet from the rain.

"baby?" he whispered, walking over to the bedroom.

You werent in bed, and he frowned, looking around as to see where you might be.

"y/n?" he called out softly

When there was no response he frowned, finally walking more into the room and seeing that the bathroom light was on, door closed.

"ah..there you are" he nodded, deciding that he had time to go back out to the kitchen space and set up his little gifts.

He placed a note he wrote to you inside the flowers, opening the fruit up and placing them nicely together. He smiled knowing you would probably yell at him for going and doing this despite there being no occasion.

You hated when he made a fuss about silly things, but thats who taehyung was.

He eagerly sat down at the table and waited for you, anticipating the moment you walk out, however after about 15 minutes he began to get impatient.

Walking back into the room to see that you were still in the bathroom slightly concerned him, "hey..." he spoke up, knocking on the door. "baby? you okay? im back"

there was no response

"you in there?" he asked again, voice louder as he knocked once more. He placed his ear to the door and listened for any signs you were on the other side, a clearing of your throat confirming it for him.

"baby open the door why arent you answering me?" he smiled, "are you mad I left without telling you? I promise it was for a good reason, come on out my love...."

He heard slow shuffling and then heard the door unlock, allowing his access to enter.

He slowly opened the door, pushing on the handle to see you sitting on the floor, back against the tub. You were crying, face red and eyes swollen.

Taehyung quickly entered panic mod "w-whats wrong?" he kneeled in front of you, grabbing your hands as you sobbed, tears soaking your shirt. "y/n please! what happened!!"

You struggled to catch your breath as you closed your eyes, taehyung holding your face in his hands. "I need you to talk to me...please, breathe, explain whats happening so I can help!"

His nerves were growing quickly each moment you remained silent.

With a hiccup, you opened your eyes and spoke, voice trembling.

"i lost the baby..."

you managed to speak before beginning to sob again.

Taehyungs hands fell from your face, his expression changing as he went pale. "what...you what?" he whispered, eyes on you. It wasnt until then when you moved your legs that he noticed that your underwear had been stained with blood, and the towel on the side of the toilet was too.

"oh....oh baby" he whispered, immediately pulling you into his chest as he cried. He felt like he was no longer in his own body at this point, as if this wasn't happening and he was watching it from afar.

Bad things like this dont happen to people like you.

"oh im so sorry my love" he held you tightly as loud sobs wrecked your frame "oh....I dont know what to do, are you...are you sure? we dont know....?" his voice trembled heavily as he gained courage to look back at you

You shook your head, voice quiet, "I just know...I just know" you cried as you looked down to see the blood everywhere, Taehyung quickly pulling you back into his arms. "im so sorry, baby...oh my god im so fucking sorry honey" his hand cradled your head as he slightly swayed back and forth.

He felt helpless, completely defenseless as you sat there in his arms sobbing. What could he possibly do or say to save you from this? how do you go from being on top of the world to falling overnight? its not fair.

"i-i tried to call" you choked out, your hands trembling.

He feels like the worlds biggest fucking loser.

"ah....angel....I left my phone here didnt I? baby...." he cried, trying to hold you again but you pulled back, wincing as your back rested against the wall. "y/n im so sorry, I dont even know what to do..."

You closed your eyes, chest growing tight with grief. "I wanted it so badly" you whispered, "I wanted it.....i really did I promise" you cry

"I know you did baby, I know you did! I wanted it too y/n" he couldnt stand seeing you like this, knowing the amount of pain you were feeling made him physically ill.

"taehyung im sorry" you covered your face before wrapping your arms around yourself defensively, "I dont....I dont know what happened...I woke up and felt sick....I threw up and then started cramping, I thought I was fine but then I saw blood and it just...." you sobbed, banging your fist against the wall "fuck!"

"dont you dare apologize, this isnt your fault, you hear me?" he got close, grabbing your hand "this is not our fault."

"I wanted it" you repeat, hand rubbing over your stomach sadly, still not processing that this was over before it even started. "mommy is sorry...." you whisper

Taehyung feels his heart break into five million pieces, he swallows harshly and wipes his eyes. "you did everything right...I promise....sometimes these things happen, and God, i am so sorry my love, so, so, sorry...." he rubbed your leg.

"i was so excited....I was just accepting it and....its over...its not fair!!" you look at him desperately, knowing theres nothing neither of you can do.

"I know....hey, I know..." he soothed you, his own stomach churning at the sight in front of him. "I shouldnt have left....Im sorry baby" he cried, leaning forward to rest his head on your small bump, tears falling against your skin.

You both stayed like that for a while, taehyung sat up after a bit, red eyes looking at you as you sat, your expression was blank.

You stopped crying. you were absently looking at the wall.

"y/n" he whispered, hand holding your cheek to bring attention back to him

"hm?" your eyes slowly traced back, looking at taehyung.

"l-let me clean you up....get in bed and rest, okay?"

You dont respond, instead you let him carefully strip you from your clothing, watching as he cleaned you with wet towels. He was silently crying while doing so.

He figured you were too tired to get in the bath, so he used a few facecloths and wet wipes to make sure you were clean.

He grabbed a shirt and pants, helping you get dressed as you remained still like a doll.

There was nothing to say.

You lost your baby.

no amount of crying or screaming would return it to you.

Taehyung tossed the towels and dirty clothes aside, standing up and reaching down to help you up as well.

Your body shook as you did so, hands and legs trembling as he held you, whispering "I know....I know....." he kissed your forehead before carrying you out to the room, laying you on the bed. He then noticed the dried blood spot from earlier on the mattress.

He sighed and covered it with the pillows as you sat on the opposite side, blankets being brought up over your body.

He didnt know what to say, so he simply walked back into the bathroom to clean the floor.

He wanted to vomit, the grief struck into his chest was too much for him and as he wiped up blood and dirty laundry, he wept.

You laid in bed, body sore and head pounding. You couldnt sleep, so you didnt try. Your eyes just stayed looking up at the ceiling, silently asking God why this happened to you. You watched taehyung quietly walk out of the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen without saying a word.

He tossed the laundry in a bin, stopping for a moment while he was alone, breathing shakily.

He looked over at the gifts he set up prior to the incident. The fruit was now turning rotten from being left out in the air. He blew his nose before going and throwing the container away.

The guilt in his chest will eat him alive for the rest of his life.

He should have been here.

Yeah, he may not have been able to stop it, but he couldve sat you through it....

instead, you sat alone and confused on the floor as it happened, trying to call him over and over again.

He exhaled as he grabbed his phone that sat on the counter since early this morning, opening the texts.

my love: hey....where r u? - 6:23am

he frowned, scrolling down

my love : baby please come home, where did u go? - 6:27am

One missed call from "My Love" - 6:30am

He teared up as he read them

My love: taehyung... something is wrong with the baby I think.. please hurry I dont feel good, im scared - 6:38am

He tossed down his phone and took a deep breath before peaking back to the bedroom, he slowly walked in and spoke

"are you okay?"

He knew it was a dumb question, obviously you weren't okay, and wont be for a long time.

You shrugged, watching him before he climbed into the bed beside you.

Your arms welcomed your boyfriend, pulling him closer as he laid his head in your chest. "are you in pain?"

You shook your head, too exhausted to use words.

"can I do anything?" he sniffed, looking at you sadly

You shook your head once more, unable to look down at his face, instead, focusing your eyes at the wall across the room.

Taehyung gave up, settling to just lay and hold and cry and comfort you for however long you needed.

His mind raced back to the night he held you in this exact way, when you admitted you were pregnant.

Same scared feeling, different emotions, different outcome.

What scared him the most is that he really, truly, doesn't know if they will bounce back after this.

Something so.....traumatic.

You missed out on so many adventures and its not fair. No gender reveal, no feeling the baby kicks, no painting the nursery, nothing.....no baby.

It was like you wheel of fortune had been blocked off, now you sat in the road with no ways to turn, no where to go, nothing to say.

How do people move on from this?

They dont.

a/n: sorry....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

#bts fanfic #bts #bts smut #bts fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #bts angst #open requests #writing requests #request prompts #long reads #reading #x reader #kim taehyung series

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actualbird · 3 years ago

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Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tears of themis rosa #artem wing

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laboflove · 4 years ago

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Megumi x FR

•Megumi aged up•

Megumi X Cheerleader

❗Warnings❗{Smut, degradation, hard dom, dacryphilia, spanking, drinking}

A/N: Megumi thinks you're pretty much an airhead since you're a cheerleader so he tries to take advantage of that but ends up falling for you

Your body drops letting him see those tight safety shorts all the cheerleaders wore, it's like you were all made for slutty clothes. It was pretty hot but for some reason he never looked at the other girls, only at you. It was probably because you werent like the others, you were so naive, so innocent and such an airhead. It was fun teasing you, making fun of you for getting simple answers wrong and tugging at your skirt even though you hated it.

"Megumi" he looks up seeing your bright eyes and large smile, "Hey" he says with a nod as you sit down in front of him, "so whatre you doing here?" You ask while opening a bottle of water. "You left this at class" he shows you a white book covered in stickers making you blush beet red. "G-give it!" You rush to grab it but he pulls it back, wrapping his arm around your waist.

So close! Megumi was super good looking! One of the hottest guys at the campus in fact but this wasnt important. "Give it Megumi" you say but he doesnt, only holding you down with a smirk. "I was being nice but now I'm kinda curious" and worry fills your mind. "D-dont" you say but he opens it and looks through the pages.

"What's this?" He asks as he looks through the pages filled with notes and drawings of buildings with measurements, but arent you in arts? He notices you looking away, you gave up? That's weird, you never gave up. "Dont worry about it, its nothing" you say while taking the book back and grabbing your stuff. "See you later" you leave making him shocked, so personal things like that make you pissed? How fun.

"C'mon" his fingers graze against your thigh making you curl up, "Leave me alone" you whisper, your hand pressing against his chest. "Why? You're always flirting with Megumi so why cant I?", "I-I dont flirt with him" you mutter feeling your blood boil. You talked to Megumi yeah, but it was because he was always being a dick or when you needed help with assignments but that was it. "Hey" both of your heads turn and the guy is sent flying across the hall.

"M-megumi" he looks at you with a look hes never given before, worry, "Are you okay?" He asks in a softer voice too. Is he okay? "I'm fine" you whisper, fixing your bag and taking your sweater out of it to wrap around your waist. "What the fuck Megumi" he hears from on the ground, "I may be a douchebag but I'd never touch a girl if she didnt want it" he says then grabs your wrist, pulling you down the hallway. Uh oh.

"You're so fucking stupid" he says as he pushes you into an empty classroom, "So fucking naive and you cant even stick up for yourself" you look down at the floor but he tilts your face up, grabbing your cheeks hard to make you look into his eyes. "When something like that happens do anything to stop it, because if you dont, bad shit will happen and I'm not alw-" he stops but you both know the end of that sentence making you blush a soft pink.

"I'm sorry" you whisper and as your phone buzzes you pull away, "Thank you, if you're still here by six maybe I can take you to eat somewhere" you leave in a rush as he looks at his hand. Hes getting too close, way too close.

You dance to the blaring music, holding a plastic red cup in your hand filled with who knows what. He watches your body move, holding a bottle of beer and listening to Yuji ramble about girls and which ones hed like to sleep with but it was Yuji, he never got any girls unless Sukuna was taking over his body.

"But my first one would have to be Y/N, I mean just look at her, shes got an amazing body and I'd love to hear her scream my name" he clenches the bottle tight feeling his anger build up, almost overflowing but he calms himself down. "Eh, shes not that special, total airhead" he says then leaves to a different room, Yuji could do whatever he wanted, it didn't matter because he didnt like you that way and never would.

He watches as he walks up to you and suddenly hes walking towards you as well. Your eyes glance back slightly shocked as arms slowly wrap around you but your widened eyes soften. "Megumi" he smiles hearing his name come out of your mouth, "Hey Beautiful" and you blush, you've been told it often but the way he said it sounded so meaningful and honestly it was the first time you've ever liked being told it.

Time passes as you both dance and talk, giggles filling whatever silence there is and soon enough you and him are drunk, muttering things into each others ears, sitting on his lap, his hands holding your skirt down to make sure no one sees anything and your arms wrapped around his neck. "Why're you so pretty?" He whispers as he leans into your lips, barely touching them making you slightly mad. You wanted to kiss him but he wouldnt get close enough, wouldnt let you get close enough too and you could feel your need building up.

"You want to kiss me?" he whispers into your ear and you drunkenly nod with a small giggle. "So drunk arent you" you lean into his lips but he stops you, "Gimme a kiss" you mumble but he shakes his head.

"Sorry Princess but you're incredibly drunk and I cant just do that to you" he says, trying to make you feel better but all you do is grumble and whine. You were worked up, he had a massive boner and it got you horny too and all you wanted was to please him.

"Your place or mine?" He asks after some time of walking but finds you asleep, "I guess mine" he says then heads to his.

You nuzzle into his chest as his arms wrap around your body, "Megumi" he looks down but you're still asleep making him smile. You looked so peaceful but the shared smell of liquor was making it less comforting. Maybe he should wake you, it wouldnt be good to sleep like this. But then again you didnt have any clothes and you needed to sleep.

You turn around and his slightly intoxicated self heightens the feeling of you pressed right up against him. He whispers your name into your ear, making your eyes open slightly, "Hm" you hum out, you start sobering up and he whispers something into your ear making you turn red.

"P-pervert" he chuckles as his hand rub your side, you were soft but goosebumps were forming which was cute. So shy and so innocent now that you're sobering up. His eyes close again feeling sleep take over him but your grinding against his crotch keeps him from it. "Stop it" he says but you dont, "Play with me" you mumble and as his hand runs up your body you expect him to tilt your face to kiss you but instead his hand wraps around your neck, grabbing it with a bit of force eliciting a gasp from you.

"Take your clothes off, say Red to stop" he mutters in a lower tone and you nod fast, he sounded irritated and you didnt want to make him angry. Once your clothes are off you look back, turning red, seeing him naked as well with only his hipbone and down covered. He smirks seeing your eyes take in the sight, you knew he worked out but you didnt know he was this strong.

"Want a kiss now?" You nod fast as your eyes shine and he smiles, "Take it then" you rush to kiss him making him chuckle at your eagerness, he pulls you onto his lap, looking up at you slightly as his hands rest on your backside, grinding you against him slowly. Tiny, soft moans escape your mouth feeling his hardness rub between your folds, "Megumi" you whine out into his neck.

"I have con-", "No, want you" his mouth goes dry and he lifts you slightly, "You want me?" He asks earning fast nods. "Like this?" A gasp fills the room as he pushes in a single finger, "N-no, want you" he chuckles against your neck thinking of endless ways to tease you but the main thing he wants is for you to beg so, he doesnt remove his finger, he pushes it in and out slowly, not doing anything only making you angry.

"Please" he leans into your ear and bites it slightly, "What do you want?" You shake your head earning a spank. "Tell me" he says but you shake your head again earning another one making you hiss and whine. "Please Megu- ah!" You cover your mouth as he delivers another spank but it's harder this time.

The process goes on, him asking to barely receive an answer and none are what he wants, he sighs then pulls your hair back as you softly cry, "One last chance" he growls out slightly, "Y-your cock, please" he pulls you down onto him making you whine and sob into his neck.

"Such a naughty girl arent you?" He asks as he guides you on him, you felt like actual Heaven, your insides were nice and tight, warm and you were sucking him in so nicely. You nod as tears fall down your face making him twitch, "Fuck me, you're so perfect" he growls into your ear, insults coming after of him telling you how needy you were, that you were just a hole to him, a cumdump, something to use making more tears fall down your face but you loved it, something about being put down like this made it feel so good.

You move your hips to his movements feeling yourself about to break and as it's about to crash he keeps you still. "Try to come without me again and I wont be very nice", "Sorry" you whisper, leaning into him more, feeling soft, mushy and needy.

You both go again and the insults slowly turn into compliments, he moans as you clench around him and you whimper, "Come" he says and your body shakes, immediately at his demand. He thrusts up into you hard making you sob out into the room, "Shh Baby, I've got you" he whispers, hands rubbing your back, pulling you as close as possible and leaving soft kisses on your head.

"So perfect for me, such a good girl. Everything I said isnt true, okay?" You nod with soft cries and he kisses you softly, too rough for the first time and definitely not the right time but you were both definitely sober by now. "I love you" he suddenly says making you stop crying, "I love you too" and he stands. He always said hed never date, especially with someone like you but here he is, confessing his love for you and needing you more than ever.

#jjk smut #jjk imagines #jjk megumi #jujutsu kaisen #megumifushiguro #megumi x y/n #fushiguro megumi

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adrianasunderworld · 5 years ago

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I never have had anything against Kataang, honestly I've always been kind of indifferent to it. Even as a kid when the show first aired and the moment Aang blushed at Katara, I knew they were going to be a thing. Because the main guy and the main girl always end up together, it was just a given that I knew even then. So i never invested myself in their romance, there was never a moment that made me think, you know what this isnt bad, they're good together and I want them together. It never did anything for me so I put my attention in all the cool fights and backstory. It wasnt until I was a bit older and the show was wrapping up and me, new to the internet and internet fandom, did I see Zutara fan art and think "wait you can do that!?"

I haven't watched avatar in its entirety since it aired, and now that I've watched it on netflix as an adult and knowing what I do and do not enjoy in romance, and on occasion having to come up with quick explanations of the show for my mom who has watched bits and pieces with me, I really am bummed Zutara was not canon.

We all know the reasons we love this ship: the sun and moon, red vs blue, fire and water dynamic. They both mirror each other in diffrent ways. Plus they just look damn good together.

(Dont fight me on that last one, you cant convince me they dont make a good looking pair.)

Both are children of their nations leaders. Both took on personas to reach some kind of goal (katara as the painted lady and zuko the blue spirit), both were very close to their mothers and were the last to see them before they were gone, something that had traumatized them both. This last one was something they bonded over in ba sing se and later in the southern raiders, even though Zuko didnt talk about his mom in that episode, you know hes the only one in the group who understands that need for closure about her mom.

We assigned them both as the mom and dad friends of the group, and to an extent that is true. But both of them also have their own temper. We all know about Zukos anger issues and how he has dealt with it, I feel like we dont talk about Katara always down to kick ass, especially when shes pissed. ( master pakku anyone?)

Hell even in the show itself its almost a running gag. June teases Zuko that Katara is his girlfriend whenever she can. And they joke about it big time in ember island players. Even when not played for laughs theres something foreshadowy about Zuko finding and holding up to Kataras neck what we find out is essentially an engagement ring. Or Katara almost using the spirit water to heal his scar once Zuko opens up just a smidge about how he lost his mother too. Surrounded, I might add, in cave of glowing stones like the stones in the cave of lovers, which was created by lovers on opposing sides of a war.

Once Zuko joins the group, Katara is the only one that actively challenges him and tells him she will personally hold him accountable if he steps out of line. And Zuko owns up to what he has done in the past and willing to do anything to earn her forgiveness and trust.

Plus, Iroh teaches Zuko these advanced firebending moves he learned from observing water benders, methods zuko continues to use and later teach Aang. Water is hailed as the element of life and healing while fire is cast as death and destruction. Only when they learn from the dragons do we learn that fire gives life as well.

Plus, and this is something I've recently thought of while rewatching, I think they could have showed another important lesson that I think little me, who was so used to and uninvested in romances between the two main guy and girl, would have appreciated and been blown away by. Someone can love you, be willing to do anything for you, and you can care about them as well, but it doesn't mean you have to love them back. You can grow and change and find someone else, and it may hurt that other person, as much as you dont want it to, but you dont have to be with them. We all know about Aang and his attachment to Katara and not wanting to lose her. But Zuko also has Mai. Who has liked Zuko since they were kids and loved him more than she feared Azula, and was willing to save him even after he dumped her and knowing how pissed Azula would be. I love both Aang and Mai, and when I started to ship Zutara many moons ago, I felt bad because I liked them so much. They loved and were devoted to them, but I couldn't think of a scenario where neither character got out of it un hurt. But that's the thing, that's practically impossible. And you know what? It's ok, yes they would be heartbroken, but they'll eventually grow and move on. Something I think Aang especially needs. Because he may be wise beyond his years and also deserves good things for everything he's been through, but Aang is still very young and has room to grow. Katara and Zuko may not be much older than him, but they both were forced to grow and be mature years before they should have. And fighting in the same war that forced them to grow up would make them change and find each other. Aang and Katara always felt like puppy love to me. Its innocent and sweet, but never felt lasting to me. Zutara always felt sturdier, like they were capable of working well together because they have both figured out who they are and what they want.

We are reminded over and over again that Katara is the one thing that attached Aang to the world. But he must learn to let her go. In Ba sing Se when they were in the caverns, instead of immediately going to her defense. Aang let her go to go into the Avatar state. That's all well and good, but I feel like it could have been taken a step further in "if you love her, let her go" way. That would have been a great big step into Aang growing up and willing to give up his pursuit of Katara. A big sign that he has matured, and willing to let the girl he loves be happy, even if it's not with him.

#zutara #i ramble #i think thats all my thoughts #i could write a whole essay on this shit #but ill stop for now #avatar #zuko #Katara

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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

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now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!!

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica.

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it.

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic.

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body.

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is.

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot!

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

#mdzs #modao zushi #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #im so sorry everyone #i just got the idea and it wouldnt leave me alone #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #have i read any erotica? no. have i read any chuck tingle? also no. am i an editor? no #so this is gonna be very shit #this is why people should be sending me prompts instead of me just writin shit myself #nsfw-ish?

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assigned-k9 · 3 years ago

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Everyone loves reading art explanation so here's a free ticket to talk about the details you drew and no one pointed out!

IM REALLY MAD I WAS WRITING A LONG WINDED ANSWER BUT LOST IT. So this one is more “pointform” [its not its still very long..] instead because im Lazy :D But this is so sweet of you dude thank you anon ^__^ Enjoy the ramblings!

OK! So hermit designs. Lets talk hermit designs shall we??

- Keralis is a siren fish type guy, hes got claws and fin ears, a long tail and a fin from the back of his head down his back! Why a siren you may ask..? Because his eyes are hypnotic! Ooooo.. Stare into his eyes nothing but his eyes...... I also just wanted to add features that went well with his colour pallete!

- Xb is a guardian... I dont need to explain further but if you dont watch xb, he really likes guardians and tends to add them into his bases :D My favourite thing hes said about them while on a base tour is “I recognize that sound, you have guardians?” while i didnt even hear a SINGLE guardian noise. Hes got fish senses i guess. He also falls into that exact tank full of them and doesnt get hurt ONCE. So xb guardian dude. Him and Keralis are fish bros :D

- Cleos got her brain stickin out! I know zombies dont have brains but I like to think shes stolen part of Joes and so they LITERALLY SHARE BRAINCELLS. Its just funny to me. Oh, and her flower crown is more like a twig shaped tiara with flowery bits! Her exposed ribcage also has the same flowers growing on vines :D Just some design details :P

- nHo all have bows in their designs; Bdubs’ bandana ties in a bow and hes got one on the end of his tail, beef has a bow that ties his apron, etho has a very slight bow at the back of his neck tying the mask up, and docs got a small bow holding up his hair behind his neck! Some of these arent visible but its an idea i’ve had for years now! I think its neat ^__^

- CONVEX okay okay so scar and cub both have pointy ears and magical vex wings that they can will in and out of existance, they’re soul bound! [canon..?] Cub likes to keep his wings out because he thinks they’re neat + they remind him of good memories :D Scar keeps them hidden for the most part, as they can get in the way of elytra! He lets them out very rarely. They both have pointy ears constantly however! Another design thing not visible in art, they have matching blue anklets!!

- A small non visible thing about Scars season 8 design that i’ve had since he got his giant hat, all the hermits have tried it on and afterwards signed their names on the brim and inside of the hat per his request :D

- Grians mouth is just nonexistent if he isnt talking, so when hes not speaking hes got this ominous stare... I thought it worked well LOL. His neck is feathery but he covers it with a turtleneck because it tends to get cold! He doesnt bother with his arms much though

Theres so many more i can think of but I’LL SPARE THE DETAILS YEAH?

#Long post #Im such a nerd oh my gosh #Glad i dont have irl friends #because i’d never shut up LOLLLL :D

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erbis-artist · 3 years ago

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Ok. So this post thread is basically me venting and ranting about social media. If u are uncomfortable or dont care about this u can scroll pass it.

What I wanted to say is: I had enough. Every time I get msgs from my friends that somekind haters shit on my page and accuses me of shit for what I havent done. They repost my art without my permission, rip my comments out of context and this is already for a month or 2.

I got only 1 question: why? Why are u doing this? What do u want to do with spreading crap about me? U want to take me down? U want to make people hate me? Well I will tell u 1 thing - I dont care anymore. Do whatever the f*ck u want, if u got nothing better to do than shit on a person who minds their own buisness.

I had enough of those toxic shitters shitting on my ship (kruelee) that its toxic, while they ship 2 enemies who hate each other (kruecent) together. I had enough of people reposting my art and saying I draw something wrong just because of my artstyle. I had enough of this shit and I dont care anymore.

PS: if u are a kruecent shipper, I dont hate u as long as u dont hate on kruelee and spread shit about it. I respect all shippers until it gets shitty like this and people share their hateful opinions about a fictional ship, which causes innocent shippers getting into trouble because of haters/people who cant hold their mouth full of shit shut.

But at same time, I cant be quiet. I have to speak up and show people I aint the bad guy, because silence usually proofs u are at fault. All I want to do is reach equality. I had enough that shippers like me get blocked for their ship and get hateful comments on their posts, even tho they dont send it to anyone in private and just mind their own buisness creating. I had enough and I stand up for them and am ready to be their shield.

U think u do something good by hating on someone for shipping 2 fictional characters who are both adults? And then u scream someone of these shippers puts their opinions on your hateful opinions??? Lmao then u arent any better. U arent a god to be pure or perfect, u arent god to judge others for what they like. And if u think our opinions arent valid - your arent either.

I speak for all my friends and my favourite artists whom I support in what they do, and seeing hateful comments on their works I wont tolerate. Ok me, I dont care anymore. But others - its too much. U did enough by harrasing us for a somekind artstyle/fictional ship which isnt changable/isnt even real. U broke so many souls, who didnt deserve that.

I had enough watching how my close friends suffer from u all, who harrass us for nothing. Who accuse me, personally, in "sexualisation" "fetish" "toxicity in shipping" even tho they themselves create NSFW content and participate in NSFW rps while being a horny minor.

I had enough of this f*cked up hypocrisy. I had enough of someone thinking they are a king/god to control us. I am speaking up to stop all of this shit.

Now, if u are THAT person reading this and planning to post another hate post. Just stop doing that. U think u are helping? U think u are doing something good? All u do is showing u got nothing better to do, nor do u show you are better. In fact u behave like a immature kid, thinking u are doing SUUUUCH A BIG THING shitting on someone.

Instead of forgetting about us, not giving a shit about our existence, working hard and becoming better in what u like to do - u waste your time.

U wont take me down. I aint the type of person who will fall in front of your hypocritical feet and obey. I wont apologize for what I havent done. I wont give up. I wont accept the fact u are still here screaming shit about me and my friends. I will prove everyone that u are wrong, a hypocrite who likes j**king off on p*rn and posting crap.

Now, to my dearest fans and friends: I love u all and care for u a lot, I am sorry about everything u had to go through, I am sorry u saw so many bad things about me, I am sorry u had to deal with hate also. I am at fault I couldnt protect u nor could I control my rage because of which I f*cked up.

Please, if u are seeing this, care to share the truth, I dont want anyone more suffering, I want to stop all of this harrasment once and for all. Also DONT INTERACT WITH THEM, THEY ARE EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE!!!

Now, I will post all the proofs they are the hypocrites and not me. Also the proofs contain lewds, NSFW, and other triggering things, 1st I will post innocent things, then the whole NSFW they created.

#personal vent #sorry for the rant #my rants #tw rant #rant

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kkairosclerosis · 4 years ago

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uncommon things i associate my deities with~

hi guys! im back from a quick hiatus!

i recently moved to the city, but not too far from where i lived previously in the country. living in the city, however, is proving to be a bit more difficult then i had imagined, so ive been taking some weekends to go back home and ground myself again so i can feel more connected to my craft<3.

anyways, this morning, i was sitting on the porch of my parents farmhouse, looking out onto the sunset as my idiot dog ran laps around the frost-covered lawn, feeling more connected to my deities than i had in weeks. i decided, ‘hey, here a nice post idea. maybe ill talk abt the things i associate with my deities that others might not, and hopefully inspire them to as well!’ so, here it is!

uncommon things i associate my deities with!

hermes——««

if this isnt your first time on my blog, you probably know: hermes is my patron. he has been for a while, even before i began to worship him. if you want to know more about why, check out this post.

regardless, you can imagine that i hold very dear everything i associate with him.

in this case, it’s my dog.

my dog is an...interesting border collie named oliver. i got into hellenic worship very shortly after getting him, and i have a very strong feeling he has a lot to do with it.

i am thoroughly convinced my dog is a child of hermes. hes chaotic, but extremely smart. very, very fast, and spends hours running out in the yard. just running. nothing else. its even more intense when its windy, which, if you read the aforementioned post, you know that i associate the wind heavily with hermes. hermes is also the god of animal husbandry, and oliver is quite the farm animal.

watching him run, i always get a strong sense of comfort. i know that the energy of hermes resides in him, its very clear. its almost as if his running brings the wind. like hes running, and hermes says ‘hey, that looks fun! let me join!’

i, very regularly, ask for hermes protection of oliver. i do this because i know of the love hermes has for him. i can feel it. it makes me comfortable knowing hes safe while im not home with him. and i can tell it makes oliver feel safe as well.

aphrodite——««

aphrodite has always been dear to me, even before i started actually worshipping. i remember reading about her in the mythology books i frequented in the art room after i finished my projects, carrying them out to the field to just sit and read. she was an embodiment of beauty to me, and that has not changed since, so its natural that i associate her with one of the things i find most beautiful on this plane of existence: clouds.

when i was thinking of writing this post, i was sitting and looking at a cloudless sky. i was thinking: why is it that we most often consider a cloudless sky beautiful? is it because of the absence of ‘blemish?’ does a cloud signify a flaw? must all beautiful things be completely clear, or without mark?

obviously, i thought this was ridiculous. clouds are so very dear to me. i mean, i have an entire album of photos on my phone of pictures of clouds i have taken. i have always been enamored.

while i was pondering this, it hit me. beauty is unique. beauty is individual. thats exactly what aphrodite is about. these ‘marks’ in the sky are what make the sky beautiful to me. aphrodite is in these ‘blemishes’ because i find them beautiful.

now, i dont mean to wrap this up in a corny way, but i encourage the people reading this to think this way about themselves. beauty is in your imperfections because they make you you. i have not seen one cloud that looks exactly like another i have seen, and thats exactly what makes them so beautiful to me. aphrodite loves all of you, and someone else does as well, so do not disrespect them by being mean to yourself. their idea of beauty is not misconstrued, so trust them. and if you dont think someone thinks your beautiful, know that i do<3.

apollo——««

apollo, to me, has always been sort of an enigma. i have a harder time interpreting his signs, especially recently, and i think that its particularly because of my recent falling out with my creative side. i have sort of abandoned my art, and it think its difficult for him to communicate with me through anything else.

one thing, however, i can feel him in is the sound of the birds in the morning. particularly, roosters.

as i mentioned before, my parents live on a farm. its natural to hear roosters first thing in the morning. some people find it annoying, but to me, its incredibly comforting. it means another morning has come. i’ve lived another day, and i have a whole new one to look forward to, until i hear the rooster the next morning. it means the sun is rising, and apollo rises with him.

as a witch who particularly enjoys the sunrise, but has a hard time waking up to see it, the roosters serve as a sort of natural alarm clock. even if i do not physically get up to see the sunrise, i know it is happening, and i am awake for that first moment of dawn. it brings me comfort and a sense of small accomplishment, even on really difficult days.

and the days im in the city, and cant hear the roosters, its the morning songs of the birds in the part right next to my apartment building. this might be even more so, as apollo is the god of music.

its a different type of comfort to wake up to the chill of the morning and hear the birds, knowing its a deity that loves me and wants to see me the next morning as well. i hope you, dearest reader, come to feel the same:).

asclepius——««

now, i haven’t talked about this much on this blog, but to me, asclepius has been such a pillar for me as of recent. with the pandemic and my own current health situation, i rely on him a lot for hope and support. i ask him to protect both me and my friends and family from illness or ailment, and in case of ailment, i ask him to facilitate a speedy recovery. thus far, he has never failed me, and i do not ever expect him to. i put my trust in him wholly.

other than health, i find myself associating asclepius with cleanliness. while i see asclepius as the medic, i also see him as someone who is clean and organized. this is why i associate him with dewdrops.

now, bear with me in my explanation. morning dew, to me, feels clean. it feels almost pure, as it is one of the first forms of moisture a person can be met with during the day.

picture it now. you wake up at sunrise, and venture out into your yard, the chill of the am just tickling at your face, cooling your nose to the touch. you take your first step off of the deck, and your bare feet sink into the grass, cold, and now wet from the dew. the feeling is shocking at first, as your feet get used to the new temperature, fresh out of the warm comfort of your blanket that sits invitingly on your bed inside.

but the feeling is fresh. its grounding. its healing.

that, to me, is how asclepius feels.

sobek——««

i must be honest, sobek is the reason this post came to existence. i feel extremely strong about this one, particularly because i feel that sobek is under-appreciated and misunderstood as a god. i constantly encourage people to include sobek in their worship, as he, to me, has proven to be one of the most reliable gods i have ever worked with. i feel such a sense of comfort and love within him. i could sit in his energy for hours, days even. especially as a person who suffers from bouts of paranoia, his energy is one to learn to accept and become.

for me, i see sobek in flowers.

not many would see this, as sobek has this image of a tough, crocodile, protection god, which he is. but what a lot of people forget, is that sobek is also a god of fertility, particularly in harvest. in fact, sobek has done so much for my family’s farm. our garden is plentiful, and our harvests are more than we know what to do with. we end up making a lot of extra things with it, and giving it away to family friends and neighbors. i genuinely think that sobek creates abundance in our garden so he can give to our community. that is how loving i know him to be.

however, what i specified was flowers. one of the most common offerings i give to sobek are roses. he seems to love them. sobek seems to protect that of which he loves, and roses are a symbol of love for me. i want to attempt to give him what he has given me.

my family has a wildflower garden in front of our home. the morning i was sitting on the porch, i felt his presence, and i immediately looked to the flowers. delicate, yet extremely strong, and persevering. thats how i wish to be, and i can feel sobek in the encouragement of the flowers.

i hope that didn’t come off too corny, although im pretty sure it did lol. i hope that this post was a good insight into my deities and how i understand them to be! again, disclaimer, not everyone experiences the gods in the same ways! some may agree with this post wholeheartedly, and some may have completely different experiences that make them disagree entirely! i am not one to gatekeep and define what the divine is, because the divine shows itself in different ways to different people. i hope you enjoyed this post, and have a wonderful day!

p.s. i love you and you’re worth it!

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childhoodgrave · 4 years ago

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whats dtl about ifff ud like 2 talk abt it i see cute sprites & decide i wanna know things.. hehe the top hat n cape guy gif is in sync w my music hehe

IM SO GLAD U ASKED this game is probsbly my favorite game ever its been a special interest if mine since i was 7 and i dont think its a GOOD game per se bt i love it a lot and it impacted me a lot as a little kid w a mild interest in art :)

so basically the game is a little 2d adventure platformer where u get to draw and design the character u play as. its p clunky and the way ur character moves looks rlly silly bt again this game was released in like 2010 on the ds so its ok .. the game also gave u templates to go off of and use too just in case u didnt want to design a character from scratch

the story of the first game is abt this world that was drawn into existence by “the creator” in the book of life. u hav this little sequence where u get to draw the world, and the forrests and the creatures tht wld inhabit it. the creatures tht inhabit the world are callec raposa and they r little fox creature w funny ears :)

like this guy (his name is zsasha and hes a thief but hes like a bad one who ends up returning all of the stuff he steals and also watching over a little orphan girl who he basically adopts LOL)

in the universe if the game the “creator” eventually went silent and the raposa lost hope in them ever returning. the world was slowly shrouded in darkness and gradually all of the raposa inhabiting this little village were either lost or left on purpose bc it was slowly falling apart. the game starts when one of the remaining raposa, mari, prays to u, the creator, to come back and help restore her village, saying that everyone else has lost hope but she still believes you can return to her. u can answer, and either say that u will help or you wont, but either way u end up agreeing to help her and she goes to tell her dad, the mayor, abt it. you create a “hero” to be the vessel you will speak thru, and thats the character u end up designing and playing as. the game is abt going to various areas from the village and rescuing all of the raposa that are lost there, as well as restoring the village to what it used to be and drawing in bits of the landscape, like the sun and plants and stuff.

the villain of the story is a guy named wilfre, who was another villager in the town who ended up drawing in the book of life bc he wanted to create things the way the creator had. he ended up making these big inky monsters and got consumed by them, and when u meet him at the beginning of the game he tears up a bunch of pages in the book of life which get scattered across the land and you have to collect them in order to restore the village.

so u basically just go around saving villagers, collecting pages of the book of life, and redrawing bits of the town that were lost to wilfres shadows. eventually wilfre ends up like, killing maris dad (the mayor) and then after youve restored a majority of the village you enter his realm and kill him!! yay :)

throughout the game you also meet these two weird npcs called heather and mike. heather is a little raposa girl who has half of her face covered in shadows, and shes mostly mute. shes found early on in the game and is taken care of by another one of the main characters named jowee

mike is a character u end up rescuing later on in the game, hes p confused and doesnt know how he got where he is, and hes also different from the other raposa bc he doesnt have ears like they do and kind of just looks like a normal human (even tho none of the raposa know what that is and they just think he looks rlly weird)

in the first game heather is shown to take a liking to mike but it isnt explained why and she doesnt talk to its left unexplained

so yah the first game ends with you, the hero, defeating wilfre. mari takes on the role of her father and becomes mayor of the town, and all of the raposa (+ mike) live happily in the town youve restored. the hero goes dormant because theyre no longer needed and u get a scene at the end of the game w them sitting by the ghost of maris father.

the SECOND game takes place a while after the first game, in which wilfre returns and captures heather at the beginning of the game. he also kidnaps a bunch of the other villagers and transports them somewhere else, and he drains the color out of the village the raposa were in. they end up fleeing on a giant turtle with an abandoned town on its back that appears while the color is draining from the village. inside mari and jowee find another mannequin similar to the one the creator had drawn the hero on in the first game. they pray to the creator for help and thats when u draw the hero u get to play as for that game!! the hero doesnt seem to remember mari and jowee or any of the events of the first game, but they agree to help them rescue heather and all of the villagers wilfre stole.

jowee also has like, this magic pendant that belonged to heather that he found after wilfre took her, which seems to be leading them to where heather is. they use that to navigate the turtle thru the ocean to a bunch of other islands on the world. the second game is basically about traveling to different islands and helping them restore the color thats been drained out of them by wilfre. you also meet these two characters, salem

who is a villain in the first island u travel to, and sock

who is a villager on the first island u visit who ends up befriending jowee and traveling with them while they try to save heather.

so ur doing all of that but THEN, halfway thru the game mari is shown to be talking to wilfre, and then she dissapears. jowee assumes wilfre has captured her too, but shes later seen on the turtle again, and rips out a bunch of pages in the book of life the way wilfre did in the first game, and then wilfre appears to take her away and says that shes working with him now. jowee is heartbroken but resolves to get her back as well as heather

THEN, sock, jowees friend from the first island whos been tagging along and helping out, is ALSO revealed to be wilfre in disguise and he betrays jowee and steals heathers pendent, leaving jowee with basically no means of finding heather and wikfre and mari by extension.

so eventually they do end up finding where wilfre is and mari is like “jowee you dont understand wilfre has shown me the truth of our world and who the creator is and thats why im helping him” and jowee is like “i cant believe yoy are helping him how could you i cant believe you bla bla bla” and so wilfre is like “FINE ill show you the TRUTH of this world” and takes jowee and then the hero is kind of left ln their own for a bit to like wander around the world and try to keep rescuing ppl and such. and eventually jowee comes back and is like shaken up but kind of vague abt what wilfre showed him, but he still decides to side with the hero and the creator and eventually mari is convinced by him to join them again as well

so u fight wilfre again and EVENTUALLY wilfre reveals that if you defeat him basically the entire world will dissapear and thats what hes been trying to avoid by fucking w things and messing with the book of life. so all of the raposa have a bunch existential crisis abt them ceasing to exist if they go thru with this but then they decide to to it anyway bc the alternative is just as bad blah blah and u go and kill wilfre and he does this when he dies which is cool

[the gif was fuckjng broken im sorry but like look up his sprites and youll fjnd it 💔]

and now heather is back!! and her and mari and jowee are all talking about mike and how important he is and meanwhile mike has no clue whats going on and is kind of freaked out by all of this, but theyre all like “mike you need to wake up” as theyre all fading out of existence and shit around him and eventually him and heather are the only ones left and they dissapear too

and THATS when you get the ending and find out it was all like a dream mike was having while he was in a coma after a car crash anx this plays while the credits role lol https://youtu.be/Kur0qaYM1jM

youtube

^ they ended up releasing different versions oft he game w a less dark (but still w the whole ‘it was all a dream twist’) and thats it!!

there was also another game released for the wii that like gave wilfre a girlfriend kind of but i never played it to completion bc it used the wii remotes motion controls to like draw and shit and it was rly janky and hard so i never finished it and most ppl did the same. i kind of rlly want to try playing it again tho bc it was a p cute looking game even if the controls were fucked up

AND YEA thats drawn to life its a weird silly little series tht i was obsessed w when i was a kid and it still holds a special place in my heart :) i basicaly just spoiled the entire series i guess but if u have a ds or a 3ds (bc the game is backwards complatible ! ) id still suggest like getting a cartidge off ebay or something and playing it bc its honestly a rlly sweet and beautiful looking game and i think a lot of it still homds up even if the controls r rlly janky now

#theres also rumors of another game in the series being released on the switch so :)#THIS IS SOOO LONG HAHAHA IM SORRY I RLLY CARE ANT THESE GAMES #long post

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