#me hearing this song for the first time ever being. live in concert? a formative life changing experience i swear

[ilostyou]

eeeeasy for YOUUUUUUUU to SAYYYYYY harder for MEEEEEEEE to TAAAAAKKEEEEEEE

[ajortga]

love at first glance

pairing: tara carpenter x bass guitarist!fem reader

word count: 5.5k+

summary: in which tara admires your bass skills, then admires you even more.

author's note: please bear with me, i don't know what i'm doing but i'm just hoping these scrambled words just go well. tv girl mentioned!

-

based off request!

tara carpenter x masc! fem reader and reader is in a band, maybe like lead guitarist or bass? but like tara goes to a concert with all of the core 4 (+anika cuz i miss her) and like is mesmerized by reader. maybe they make eye contact during a song or sum? they leave the concert and tara is still thinking about reader and reader is still thinking about tara. cut to like later maybe at a party or a bar and they bump into each other and chop it up, but reader is like awkward-ish?

-

You’ve always had a love for anything that was related to music. Your parents made you take singing lessons ever since you were little. 

At first, you hated it. Singing Mary Had a Little Lamb in different keys was not entertaining. But as you grew older and probably didn’t need to sing that song every practice, you began to use your house’s grand piano that was left untouched for years. And then, being able to sing and knowing your keys inside and out wasn’t so bad after all. 

You spent countless times in the living room, the echo of your voice lingering against your house as you learned your favorite songs.

You wrote songs and composed as you experimented with your voice and the keys. It was almost never surprising when your parents caught you up late at night under your pillow, pencil scratching notes across lined pieces of paper. In every single talent show, audition, or musical, your name would be signed. Everyone in your family knew that one day, you’d grow to be a musician. 

People would even begin to see you whenever they were at warehouses and you’d be playing a piano. At every gathering, your relatives would ask, “Where is that little Y/N?” And your parents would look at each other with a knowing glance, both saying confidently, “Probably in the living room with that damn piano.”

You loved listening to music, making music, playing music, feeling your emotions in music, god, every time you’d go out, your earphones would be in your pockets.

So when you were gifted an acoustic guitar for your 12th birthday, to say the least, you were fucking thrilled. Instead of playing the piano 7 days a week, you’d play guitar for half those days. Gosh, was it hard learning a string instrument after playing piano for half your life? Maybe. But you loved it. 

You’d practice and practice, gradually getting better, then you’d play the electric and bass. And was the bass guitar a hell of a sound, you loved it. 

Then, the best thing ever happened to you. You had grouped up with your friends and quickly became a band with all your talents combined. Slowly but surely, did you begin to realize how far you had gone. Because in a blink of an eye, you were at concerts, fingers pressing down on your strings as it electrified through stadiums and arenas while people cheered. 

Cheered for you. That’s something you’ll never regret in your entire life.

-

You turn your bass’s machine head, plucking each string as you tune them before your concert. Nights like this never get old, you’d always be left with the adrenaline from every concert, like your body was refreshed when you slept under your hotel room’s covers.

As your hair and makeup stylist’s makeup brush dabs across your cheeks, you trace the outline of your bass guitar and look at yourself in the mirror. Layered hair, a black tank top over your toned arms, hidden beneath a red leather jacket. Your favorite part would probably be your nails painted red to compliment your hands. You had to keep them short though.

What would this night bring you? Everytime you close your eyes and listen, you can hear the faint echo of your bass vibrating through, lights swaying into the crowd, a smile forming on your face.

Every night had something different, there were different people, a different crowd, it makes you feel different every time. Yet you still feel the thrill and pride swell against your chest.

Junia, one of your closest friends that plays the drums, pops her head in. “You look hot,” she grins, “Jess said she’d come to pick us up at 40. You’re going to kill it, Bass.”

Bass. What an original nickname, you lean your chin into your palm as you raise your eyebrows, “You know it, June.” 

7:45.

-

Tara looks at herself in the mirror, Mindy and Chad screaming at each other while playing Jenga in the background. She pushes a stubborn strand of hair away from her eyelashes while she curls them. 

“CHEATER!-” Mindy yells, making the brunette flinch and breathe in frustration. She was not going to get her eyelashes pulled out.

After Tara was done with a cropped graphic tee, a jean skirt, and a cute little white bow in her hair, she walked through the hallway and into the living room, still adjusting her gold hoops.

There, Anika and her sister seemed the sanest out of them all. On the other hand, the twins were fighting over the remote. 

“Babies,” Sam mutters, pushing her dark brown hair back.

Anika pulls the remote out of both of their hands easily while Chad mutters ‘what the fuck’ under his breath. 

It was like being in a daycare. Tara ate a cookie while watching Anika throw the remote onto the sofa, wearing a lace tank top with jeans, “Mindss, why don’t we just leave the remote and find something else. Your hair is getting all poofy.” 

“And a little dingussy,” Chad adds.

Mindy smacks him, “Don’t ever use ‘dingussy’ to describe something. It sounds sexual.”

Before they could say furthermore, Tara jumps in, mentally begging them to shut up for a moment, “You have the keys, Sam?”

Sam pulls them out of the pocket in her jeans. 

Tara gives a small nod, looking a little over Sam, “Anika, tickets?”

“Yep, 5 of them,” she says, pulling out each ticket one by one with one hand and smoothing out Mindy’s hair with the other. When it was 5:30PM, they were all off, crawling into Sam’s car. Tara immediately sat in the passenger seat. 

I’m not sacrificing my hair by sitting in the middle seat, she thinks as she looks back at Anika, who was basically separating the two twins that were probably yelling in her ear at this point.

“You guys will love them. Jess has always been one of the most talented people I know in music. I have no doubt her band will be the best on stage.”

When Anika had first mentioned when she won a giveaway for a concert. It was for a barricade, but it was stated that they were allowed to be in the front row, the tickets she won had granted her that. Tara wasn’t very interested. Music just wasn’t something she always listened to on a daily basis. But there were 5, and no way would she miss out. 

So she listened to a song, played it on Spotify while walking to class. 

The scene shifts to a local coffee shop in Woodsboro.

“Let me tell you, the bass was fucking amazing! Brilliant!” Tara yaps excitedly to the four people in front of her. She loved how well the drums, electric, lyrics, and bass sounded. The bass blessed her ears. She had immediately added it to her favorites. 

“Bass, huh?” Anika smiles while drinking her coffee. “I think that’s one of the leads, Y/N. Jess always talks about how good she sounds, she usually comes up with all the riffs and lines.”

Y/N. It was unique, Tara made a note to remember it. Yet, she forgot about that conversation no less than 2 days after.

-

They all stepped out once they could see people lining up and buying the light up sticks that were controlled throughout the concert. Tara found it cool that the sticks had stars on them, in fact, the lights were one of the parts that made a concert a concert. 

Mindy was yelling happily and doing a little dance once their tickets got scanned and they all ran to the front row. 

Anika gave a cocky grin, “Maybe they’ll notice us because we’re in the front!”

It was thirty minutes until the background music came to a stop and the lights slowly started to dim. People were screaming, Tara’s heart was pounding against her chest. It was dead silent, whispers and occasional excited screams echoed.

“Oh my god, it’s happening,” Mindy whispers loudly, holding onto Anika as they look at the curtains.

They wait a moment, then two, and by the third one, drums begin to echo. ‘Tsst’ being echoed, before it follows with a loud 16th beat of drums. Then, the curtains open as Tara’s eyes widen.

Are you sick of me?

Would you like to be?

I'm trying to tell you something,

Something that I already said

The drums softly fill Tara’s ears, as she watches them play, she finally notices you. Perfect layered hair, messy in all the right ways. The bass girl. Something about the way the warmth of the light danced across your face in all the right ways captivated her. The way your deep red leather jacket hung over your shoulder, exposing your defined collar bones and toned arms while you pressed on strings.

Oh god, it felt as if a new story line with different love interests began to change for Tara. She could see the veins against your slim hands as they traveled across your guitar with ease. You mouthed the lyrics, enjoying yourself as you close your eyes and sway softly to the beat. 

You like a pretty boy,

With a pretty voice

Who is trying to sell you something,

Something that you already have

The drums left Tara’s thoughts, now hearing you and the way that your bass adds on to the magic of it all. You’re just standing there, your bangs swiping across your features as you tuck it to your sides, smiling to yourself as you scan the crowd for a moment then look back down to your strings.

Maybe it was the way you looked like you were the right person for this part–to be on stage like you were meant for it. Or maybe it was the way your gaze flickered to the front row and landed on Tara’s wide ones. She could see the way you tilted your head and gave her a curious, wondering look, before giving her a small smile. 

Oh my god, your smile was so cute. If she could describe it, it’s like the kind of smile that made her all giggly and was so contagious that she felt herself slowly smile.

The lights shine over your face, making everything about you glow. You pluck at the strings as you mouth the chorus to Tara. Her eyes searched all over your face. You don’t break eye contact with her.

But if you're too drunk to drive,

And the music is right

She might let you stay,

But just for the night

“And if she grabs for your hand, and drags you along,” Tara mouths back in time with the song.

One of your eyebrows raise as the light shines onto you once again, god, she can almost hear your soft, breathy voice teasingly singing, “She might want a kiss before the end of this song..”

Anika screams, jumping up and down and hyping everyone up, waving her heart stick in beat with the song. 

Because love can burn like a cigarette…

-

By the end of the concert, Tara was love struck. Very very love struck. It was late when her and the four of her friends walked out, the stars shining just a little brighter. She couldn’t get you out of her head. She might have grown gray hairs. How could you be more than any other celebrity crush?

She prayed to the universe that it would align you both together. Just like each star was in the night sky.

It’s bad, Loving Machine is playing and she can only think about you strumming your guitar.

Here she comes walking down the street,

Maddie Klein and her fabulous loving machine-

“Earth to Tara, hello?” Anika pauses the music, waving her hand into the girl’s face. It was almost like a record scratch moment as Tara blinked and looked around. “Oh, sorry, what?”

“Did you like the concert?” She asks, holding onto her star light up as the red light makes the glitter under her eyes sparkle. Anika was now in the middle, the car a little quieter since Chad was now in the passenger seat.

“Oh yeah, I loved it.” Tara answers, half of her attention slipping away. She starts to see you from a camera, lighting cast against your tan skin, a TV effect on you, making your movements jerky. 

The rest of the people are fading away, their voices, so loud and eager. Blah blah blah blah… Y/N.. Bassist. Love of her life.

Dreamy sigh.

Blah.. Blah.. “Yeah the bassist was hot.” Mindy’s voice suddenly being processed.

“What?” Tara immediately turns away from the window and looks at Mindy on the opposite side. Oh god, now she was going to have to fight for you? "No! Go find someone else to admire!” She grumbles, before immediately looking away.

The whole car shakes as they all laugh, playfully hitting Tara. “See? She was literally summoned, baby!” Anika giggles, talking to Mindy. “She wasn’t giving any shits when we were talking, and as soon as we talked about Senorita Y/N, she was like poof!”

Sam looks from the rearview mirror, an eyebrow raised, “Already? One concert that lasted two hours and she’s already wrapped you around her little finger?”

Little fingers, those veiny hands that played so smoothly across the-

Chad turns around excitedly, like a child peeking at surprise presents, “She was literally captivated the whole damn concert! You should’ve seen her, a love sick puppy!”

Her sister cackles, the car moving as she keeps snorting, “Gotta admit though, she’s fine wine.”

“Sam!” Tara rubs her cheeks, she seriously hoped she wasn’t going to have to battle till death for you.

“Chill!” Sam coaxes, putting one hand up in the air, “I would totally go for her if you weren’t interested. Didn’t think you had a thing for ‘Sam accepted’ girls.”

The freckled cheek girl couldn’t help but sigh, the thought of you still lingering in her mind. Like a twinkling little Melody who’s lyrics couldn’t get out of her mind, even when she slept.

-

It had been a week. Tara says that she doesn’t think of you too often, but every single time she hears your band’s song, you end up in her mind for the whole day. Every time she steps into a coffee shop, she wonders if you’d be the person to give a free concert. 

She wonders if you’re as sweet as your name sounds. She wonders if you’d hold doors for others or walk old ladies down the street. She wonders if your hand would fit hers. She wonders if you had even thought of her after the curtains closed.

She wonders if you smell good, if you’d smell like a musky, sweet, fruity vanilla-y scent with leather undertones. She sure hoped so.

To say the least, you’ve thought about the brunette just as much. You were having fun, strumming your guitar and feeling the beat radiate off your skin. Until you lay eyes on her. She had wide, brown doe eyes that made your knees buckle. 

She was heaven-sent. You could even make out her tan freckled cheeks. And you were almost in denial when she was looking at you. It was always who was singing that people looked at, heck, you did too. But you were looking at her. And she was looking at you.

Plenty of people might have looked at you, but she was different. Like she was mesmerized by how you played. Like she was a moth to your flame. 

In fact, you don’t know if anyone has ever looked at you with that much admiration.

The girl was so beautifully written, you wished you knew who she was. Instead, she was one out of 8 billion people out there, in a blink of an eye, a close of a curtain, she was off.

-

Tara looked at herself in the mirror, standing there like.. She didn’t even know, her serious eyes trailing down to what she was wearing, before turning to Anika slowly.

“Anika, I look like a hot dog.” She cries, looking at the way the costume swallowed her whole in the fitting room.

“That’s because you’re wearing a hot dog costume, Tar. But you look like a steaming hot hot dog!” Anika shakes her head, her head only visible since she was basically a whole mustard bottle. 

Mindy waddles through the living room, a red ketchup bottle, a red dangling earring complimenting her poofy hair. “Has anyone seen my earring? I can’t find it! It was in my purse and I thought if it looked good, I’d totally buy this.”

Chad walks in the girl’s fitting room, slightly peeking as Sam walks out of her dressing room, a serious expression on their face, a cookie and milk costume. 

Tara wants to laugh, but no way in hell was she going to wear this at a costume party, at least not at a serious one.

-

After actually taking it seriously, Tara decides on a pirate outfit, tying up her bandana. 

She can almost hear the music blasting from her apartment, which is filled with laughter and chatting from her ‘family.’

Her eyes skim over her board, looking for her calendar that was usually meant for school, roaming around the small photos of you and a heart drawn over your face. She traces over it, before getting ready to leave, not even looking at the calendar. 

Maybe the calendar was just an excuse.

After 5 songs and a half of your band’s music, the core five, including sweet Anika, open the door. A heavy scent of booze fills their senses, sweat, and a mix of perfumes all lingered. Not to mention, it was stuffy.

“Ugh, do they ever think about AC?” Sam grumbles, clearly not a party person as she gets whacked across the face from a toilet plumber that belonged to a person who was wearing a damn toilet costume. Mindy cackled, before tripping and almost crashing into them, luckily her girlfriend tugged her back.

They pushed against cowboy hats and random inflatable dinosaurs, across the dance floor, and to the drinks station.

Tara did not leave empty handed, her mouth gulping down the bubbly bitterness of alcohol. 

She was buzzed, a few drinks here and she was flushed and giggling, so she made sure to think about her intake. As she parted from the other four to find a trash can, scanning the groups of people. Sometimes she found people she knew at school, cute boys, just people she’s seen.

Tara took a different route back to her friends, the music growing louder in her ears when she got near the dance floor, slivering through bodies. It was almost inevitable that her nose would scrunch, too strong of a perfume, or just sweat.. It made her nauseous. 

Where was she going? She didn’t know, she stood on her tippy toes, her ruffled blouse crinkling as she searched for her friends.

Her face smacked right into someone, her hand automatically being placed on their chest. She opened her mouth, about to apologize and prepare for a scolding until her nose twitched. A fruity and sweet vanilla-y smell, and a light leathery contrast.. No?..

“Shoot,” you look down, your drink almost spilling on yourself as you look at the shorter person as you smooth out their hair. Did you ruin it? “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

Tara looks at her outfit, perfectly fine, no stains. Hearing your soft, breathy voice, it was unrecognizable to her at first.

“No, it’s totally fine, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Tara says, immediately looking up and seeing your big curious eyes.

Oh my god.

Your eyes search hers, like you’re scanning her. Like you feel you’ve seen her before. No, you know you have. But where? The trace of her nose, doe eyes, oh! Tara almost puts a hand over her mouth because she can almost see the swirling sense of recognition in your eyes.

You opened your mouth to say something, maybe to ask about the concert, but you closed it. You don’t even know if she noticed you, maybe she was spacing out and was not acknowledging you during your concert a few weeks ago.

When it came to people, especially ones you crushed on, you were all stuttering words and pink cheeks.

The shorter girl sees the way you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and she registers what you’re wearing as her eyes trail down. And fuck, you looked angellic. Seriously.

A halo over your head and wings enveloping your sides. A black corset and ruffled skirt that showed a little of your legs, which were covered with tights. God, she thinks she can see the muscles as you cross one leg over the other.

It immediately makes you think she’s judging you. This costume was not your cup of tea, but your friends invited you to match with them, all angels in different colors.

The little pirate instead gives you a genuine look, “I like your costume,” she says, focusing a little too much on your toned arms and slightly flushed cheeks.

“I um.. Thank you..?” You bite your tongue, not knowing her name. In what chance do you get to meet the girl that made you think soulmates were real once again? At least a 1 in 300 chance. 

“Tara,” she answers for you, pretending she didn’t already have your name embedded in the back of her head. 

“I’m Y/N,” you bite a smile, she probably didn’t recognize you. You take a small sip from your drink, nose scrunching at the taste.

“You’re good at the bass,” she says nonchalantly, and you almost choke on your drink. 

You didn’t think she’d recognize you, but now knowing that, you tilt your head. “Thank you. It comes from years of practice. What did you think?” You were genuinely curious.

“I think you’re just so good at the bass..” She mumbles, again, trailing off, before clearing her throat. “I mean, the bass always makes the songs so much better! You know? It’s like realizing how amazing something really is when you notice it-”

“I appreciate it,” you say, now aware of your surroundings because instead of where you two just bumped into each other, you were sitting at a table. You turn your head, looking at where you were, probably near the back. 

Tara took the opportunity to notice your damn jawline, so perfect and sleek and defined-

“I like your freckles,” you admit, voice breathy. You turn back to look at her while batting your eyelashes, Tara’s eyes trained on how your hands.. Veiny hands lifted the cup to your lips.

The compliment almost catches her off guard, because with all the compliments she might get, freckles were usually not on the list. It used to make her insecure, but the way you said it and looked said otherwise. The alcohol was definitely taking a toll on you, because you were staring at her with no shame whatsoever.

Wide, searching eyes, it looked as if you were trying to memorize every detail. 

The flutters in Tara’s stomach would’ve lasted longer. Except her eyes teared away from yours as she could see a very familiar ketchup and mustard costume and two other people behind them.

“Oh my god!” She groans quietly, covering her face as she scoots deeper into the booth.

She completely forgot that she slithered away from them, getting side tracked.

The brunette could die from embarrassment. You on the other hand.. Just prettily sitting there with a curious look on your face, the small warmth of the lamp casting a glow onto your face.

You bite your lip, trying to fight back a small giggle as you peek at the costumes that you can almost kind of guess who they are to Tara.

-

“SHE’S LOOKING THIS WAY!” Mindy hollers, tugging the mustard bottle next to her as Chad scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Tara’s literally hiding from us.”

“Hold it up!”

-

They’re screaming at each other. You can’t hear it from all the music and party chatter, but you can definitely figure it out from their expressions. For a moment, they turn away from you, so you can’t see them.

You slip on a leather jacket that was in your bag.

A hiding Tara is in the corner of the booth, you raise your eyebrows at her.

It doesn’t take long before the four people across the room slowly turn to you in synchronization. 

“Um, I don’t-” You start, feeling a little awkward.

They hold up a paper, and you can’t even see what the words are saying. It’s at least the size of a penny. And from here, you can’t even make out the words.

-

“Dingus,” Mindy shouts to her twin, noticing the confused expression on your face as you try to understand what the paper is saying. She finally turns the paper around after holding it up. “It’s too small, that’s why!”

-

One of the four holds up a finger, signaling you to give them a moment as they adjust, before turning around.

‘Give her your numbar’ The sign says, you still don’t get it. Oh, number. You grab a tissue from the booth, and take out a sharpie from your pocket. Sharpies were always needed whenever you went out. To write down something on your hand, to sign autographs..

You slip the paper to Tara, giving her a small smile. She was definitely embarrassed. She didn’t even notice you slipping it to her, because after 5 seconds of you sliding it to her again, she still was clueless! The girl, instead, turned around to look out, immediately still seeing her stupid friends.

You sigh, putting the paper into your pocket. You feel a little bad for her.

Party lights fill the empty crevices of the room while you scoot out of the booth and stand up, pretending you didn’t notice the four people who were staring into the back of your skull.

“I think my friends are playing some Uno, you wanna come?” You offer, guiding her out of the booth as you look down at her.

“Sure.”

-

As the game went on, the last two players in the center still battling it out, Tara could see you were all fuzzy and flushed. 

You were definitely drunk. Too drunk to drive.

Your knees were nudged against hers, a little closer than expected, cuddled into her, but she didn’t mind. God no she definitely didn’t.

She was talking a lot, and you were always open ears and one of the best listeners. And then you would ramble and Tara would listen. It made you both feel heard and understood.

After a moment, you remember something. 

“Can I borrow your phone real quick? Uh, my phone is dead right now and I have to text a friend where I’m at.” You lie, your words slightly mushed together.

“Sure,” Tara says, unlocking her phone and handing it to you, a little drunk. You try to ignore the fact that the wallpaper is you from the concert she attended weeks ago.

You slip into the contacts, adding your contact and changing the name to; y/n, the bass guitarist ♡.

She didn’t even notice for the rest of the night.

As the sun slept at night, Tara stared at the ceiling, her vinyl spinning while a crackled “Say Yes to Heaven” reverberated around her bedroom.

She wished she could’ve stayed so much longer, but her friends had to leave, and there was no way she was taking an Uber or driving when tipsy.

Tara wanted to ask for your number, but because you never asked, maybe you didn’t because this didn’t mean as much as it did to her.

Curiosity was getting the best of her as she checked the messages on her phone, wondering how you typed like to your friends. But to her surprise, there were no messages to a number she didn’t recognize. The last number was just to Sam.

Her nose wrinkled, swiping to check the apps recently opened as she clicked the recent one. 

Dimples creased against her cheeks as she saw your name with a little heart. She immediately clicked to message you. But to her surprise, you had already done so.

 y/n, the bass guitarist ♡: whatcha doing? i hope ur not asleep yet>:(

tara ☆🧭: thankfully not yet, i’m in bed. u know, i was going to be a little sad than i’d like to admit if i didn’t get your number. 

 y/n, the bass guitarist ♡: i did hand you a paper, but you were hiding in the corner of the booth and i thought it would be easier this way

It took her a moment to think of what to say, before she thought of something she never thought she’d do late at night.

tara ☆🧭: do u wanna call? maybe just talk to each other till one of us falls asleep.

You usually weren't the person to connect over facetimes and calls, sometimes you didn't know what to say in the moment. You don't know..

She doesn’t get a response for a minute, before her phone vibrates in her hand and she swipes to answer.

Your hair was let down loose, in an oversized tee that even then she could still see your collarbones. You give a sleepy smile.

“Tara,” you say softly, and something in Tara thumps because you look so happy to see her. She grins back, shifting so she could see you better.

“I’ve never really done one of these,” your quiet voice says, a warmer tone casting over your face. “Do you want to say hi to Cinnamon? He’s my puppy.” You say, pushing your hair back.

The brunette nods, “Puppies are so cute, my sister isn’t very fond though. They sometimes make her sneeze.”

“Oh, allergies you could get a poodle breed or something, Cinnamon doesn’t shed much,” you agree, your camera slightly shaking as she can slightly hear you call your dog's name in a cute voice. “Come here, boy!”

Seconds later, you bring out your puppy, which lolls outs his tongue as you press a kiss to his head. Tara can see your red nails as you mess up his hair.

“Tell me about yourself,” Tara says, looking at you through the screen with pure curiosity.

“I-” You pause, thinking for a moment before shaking your head. “I think you should tell me about yourself first. It’s late and I want to listen to you. As much as I’d try to stay up, I’d fall asleep if you went second.” You murmur, cuddling with Cinnamon.

What you said made Tara feel something she doesn’t feel often. Appreciated? Well, she always wants to listen to others when calling, then she might go second, but when you brought up her going first? That made her feel fireworks.

“Okay, what do you want to know first?”

“What’s your favorite memory and why?”

-

As an hour, then two passes, you begin to tell Tara about yourself. She’s never felt so heard before. Both your lamps are off, now the only light from each others screens.

She can tell you’re beginning to doze off. The way you’re pausing and blinking sleepily before murmuring a little too softly. 

“What is something that you hate?”

You don’t say anything for a moment, your light breaths heard on the other end as you shift slightly and prop up your phone.

“Peppercorns..” You yawn, keeping your eyes half open. “They’re fine for seasoning, but when I bite into them, god.. It tastes so bad..”

You pause again, eyes heavy as you blink. “When you feel like you have to change for other people to like you. When you have to be someone you’re not because of people that don’t make you feel like you can be yourself.”

Tara nods, rubbing her eyes as she admires your defined features, even from the darkness. She could see the softness too. If she looked enough.

“I think those people make me feel the worst. Not wanting to be the one laughed at so you change to the one that’s laughing. Or when people talk down on the things you love. It hurts. And that’s something that I hope no one goes through.”

Wow, something about that makes her get to know the kind of person you are by a landslide.

“That’s a good response. What about your favorite fruit?”

“Mmm.. Watermelon. The sweet ones.. It’s so refreshing and…” You trail off, your eyes closing as your breathing evens out. Your lips were slightly parted, your puppy making a small whimper as he snuggles into you.

It’s silent, except for the faint white noise from Tara’s ceiling fan. You looked like a dream. Everything you talked about made Tara see nothing but good. And knowing that makes her feel like she should start seeing things the way you do.

A car passes by, the softest lyrics playing, it lulls Tara to bed.

We were listening to lovers rock

In her bedroom

You both fall asleep on call, maybe people were meant for each other.

[cityofmeliora]

kinda late but here is the Terzo childhood headcanons AKA new yorker Terzo post. for @plaquerat <3

ok so. i don't really have a solid interpretation of the lore, and my headcanons aren't very detailed. i'm open to floating a lot of different ideas. here are some that i like:

i've liked the idea that Terzo was primarily raised by his mother ever since i first saw the interview where TF (as nameless ghoul) suggests Terzo may be nicer than Secondo because "he seems to have, i dont know, a kinder mother?" and then i found the official instagram post mentioning Terzo's mother attending his concert in New York, and i was like 'oh! maybe she lives there. maybe Terzo used to live there with her.' it got me thinking...

Terzo was born in california and then moved to new york with his mom after she and Nihil split.

seeing the skyscrapers in new york for the first time was a really formative experience for him. that sense of awe he felt eventually inspired his interest in art deco and futurist art. new york became the base for his imaginary city of Meliora. (this is partly inspired by my own experience as a native californian because we don't really have tall buildings in california and i FREAKED OUT when i visited new york and chicago and saw REAL tall buildings.)

Terzo's mother was an artist and he spent a lot of time in the studio with her and her artist friends. their apartment walls were covered with Terzo's own art.

art and music and culture have always been at the center of Terzo's life. he and his mom would always be listening to music or viewing art galleries or watching movies together. i think Terzo's dynamic with his mother was very much like this anecdote from Carly Rae Jepsen:

My mom and I would sit and meticulously go through Leonard Cohen and Joni Mitchell lyrics together. Even from a young age I remember her being like, “I’m playing this Leonard Cohen song called ‘Famous Blue Raincoat,’ and when it’s done I want you to tell me what’s going on in it.” She would give me like a fake glass of wine when I was 8, and I would listen and be like, “I think there was an affair.” Pitchfork - Carly Rae Jepsen on the Music That Made Her (2019)

Terzo turned out to be a gifted child. super smart and naturally talented at a lot of things, but he particularly loved to build with lego / blocks and play piano.

Terzo had a great relationship with his mom. she always supported him and encouraged him to pursue his interests and to do his best.

Terzo missed his dad though. his parents had been together long enough for Terzo to remember him. he was just a kid. he didn't know any better.

when Ghost debuted and Nihil became an internationally famous one-hit wonder, Terzo developed this idealized image of Nihil as a cool rock star cultural icon in his head. idolized him a bit.

after this, Terzo decided he wanted to get serious about becoming an entertainer / musician. started doing piano recitals and competitions. youth theater. film club. all the things.

if anyone asked Terzo why he wanted to become an entertainer, he'd tell them it's because it's what he's good at. and he's always wanted to be famous. which was true, but...

what he wouldn't tell them is that a part of him was trying to emulate [his idea of] his dad and secretly hoping that if he shared that interest / became famous his dad would want come back into his life.

he knew his mom was always there supporting him, but every time he went onstage he would look out into the audience hoping his dad might be there to surprise him. (he never was.)

Nihil was the first of many many disappointments in Terzo's life.

oops! i made it sad.

anyway here's a doodle of kid Terzo getting a postcard from his dad... he didn't hear from his dad again for a very. very long time after that.

there are a lot of details i haven't square hammered out, but it's okay because these headcanons are mostly for me to like, frame Terzo's character development over time. might post more later :)

[tokiwarcube]

I always wondered what the boys would think if their s/o was in a band (the genre is up to you) and they have the same position in the band as the boys. This has been a thought that won’t leave me alone, help me!!

P.s I love your writings for these 5 silly men !! :)

Aww, thank you so much!! I absolutely fell in love with this prompt -- and I had an absolute blast writing it! Now I will Also be thinking about this forever, haha. Enjoy! <3

(Implied NS/FW warning for Pickles' section!)

Nathan Explosion

My simple, multi-platinum krillionaire rockstar — for as much as he daydreams about what life would have been like if he got to live like a regular jack-off, it’s just not the path for him. So dating another famous lead vocalist? Right up his alley.

He actually likes it more than he thought — it’s nice to bounce lyrics off of you, and vice versa. Toying with pitch, cadence, and intonation, all the different vocal techniques without judgement of sounding silly… Your halls are always alive with the sound of music… even if the subject is about death and murder, it’s its own form of magic.

But singing at home and singing in concert are two very, very different beasts. He wasn’t prepared for how intense you could be on stage, with the band to back you up. Your confidence as you stride, growling so mean he can feel it in his blood before perking back up to bounce away? All of your little stunts? Half of him is taking notes for their next show, and half of him is utterly starstruck. Your eyes dart over to him every now and again, smiling when you notice his wide eyes. His breath hitches when you throw a little wave to him in response, and he can’t help the breathless “holy shit” that falls from his lips.

You’re not as popular as Dethklok, but you couldn’t tell that from inside the venue walls — with how easily you command the crowd, he’s certain you were a siren in a past life. Or now. You could tell everyone in this room to jump off a bridge, and they would, he’s certain of it.

That would make a good song, actually…

Pickles the Drummer

Pickles has a pretty sizable repertoire of instrument proficiency — bass, guitar, keys… a brief stint with an alto sax, as a bit… and currently, drums. He’s got a soft spot in his heart for all of it, each instrument representing a specific era of his life, but he’s found himself enjoying the drums the most. It’s strong, supportive — every song needs a beat! It takes a specific personality to play drums well, and it’s one that he both embodies within himself, and covets when in others.

This is all to say — he finds it very hot that you play drums.

And as a man who appreciates a nice set of legs, he very much likes the effects drumming has on your calves. Your calves might be sore after a long practice session, but that’s nothing compared to the bites he’ll leave later in the night.

He also loves to watch you play — sweat rolling down the column of your throat as you raise your hands above your head for another well-timed strike, lost in the rhythm… Woof.

You’ve kind of gotta beat him back with a stick while on tour if you ever want to go out for drinks after a show — if he had it his way, he’d be spending the post-concert glow in the hotel, letting you know just how much he liked your performance.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Anyone looking in would assume this would be a point of competition, but he actually really loves having someone he can talk technical with! Despite being in Dethklok, he doesn’t really get to talk guitar often — Toki, Murderface, and Pickles can play, sure, but the former two don’t give a fuck about technique, and Pickles just doesn’t care about it enough to chat about it outside of the studio.

He loves hearing about all of the little musical decisions you’ve contributed to in each song — don’t think he didn’t catch the time signature change there. Just a single bar, why? Or this section here, that was a reprise of the first song in the album — how are they connected? He catches all the little details, and he wants to know all about them. In this same vein, he’s also great to bounce ideas off of when you’re in a rut… but be careful! His ideas are damn-good, and at this rate, he might just need a spot in the writer’s credits.

It’s very fun to just sit down and jam with him, passing the melody back and forth as your improvised tune grows. He calls it practice — and in a sense, it is — but really, he just likes playing with you.

He pushes to have your tours alternate with Dethklok’s so he can be at all of your shows, and vice versa — you have his full attention during your solos, and he’s not above slapping the boys to get them to shuts up so he can hear you in all of your glory.

He’s pretty stationary on stage — such is the downside of working with a bunch of uncoordinated dumbasses. (He is not exempt from this.) But if you have the agility and focus to bounce around on stage while playing? Oh, he didn’t think he could fall in love any further. He didn’t think he was capable of being starstruck, but you’ve proven him wrong tenfold. He’ll happily brave a couple thousand rabid fans for the pit experience — sorry to all the people stuck behind his towering self, but being backstage is nothing compared to barrier. The flashing lights, choking fog and towering flames only make you look more beautiful than ever, and he can’t help but reach out to you when you waggle your fingers at the crowd.

Personally offended if you don’t throw him at least one pick on tour. He does not care that he is 1.) Dating you, and 2.) Has limitless access to your stash. It’s the principle.

You wear each other’s picks on necklaces <3

Toki Wartooth

You play rhythm too? Wowee! You’re so good, though — how are you not playing solos?

He is completely gobsmacked by the fact that not only are you not the lead guitarist, but that you don’t care to be, either. I mean, he has Skwisgaar to compete against — and as loathe as he is to say it, it’s a pretty fucking high bar to surpass. But you? You could easily play lead! You just don’t want to? What?

He doesn’t really get it, but he writes it off as just you being humble. Beyond that, your similarity doesn’t really play too big of a role in your shared lives! But when concert season rolls around, he’s insistent about hanging out at barrier, just so he can see what it’s like to be at one of your shows. And then, then, that’s when he gets it.

You never seem to stand still, bouncing this way and that, playing in ways he never even thought possible. You don’t need to play solos to wow the crowd — hell, he’s been practically raised by the most popular band in the world, but with you in front of him now, he feels like just another one of your adoring fans itching at the chance to even be seen. Nobody cheers louder than Toki, and he’s insistent on going to each and every one of your shows.

After show from here on out he’ll interlock hands with you, congratulating you on yet another show well-done. He traces the callouses on your fingertips, heart swelling with giddiness at dating such a badass guitarist.

William Murderface

Finally, someone else who appreciates a good bass line. A band is nothing without the bass, especially metal, and it’s nice to talk to someone else who understands that. Especially after being AJFA’d out off all their most recent albums.

Playing bass is a very thankless job — you have to support the entire band, giving them structure and direction without any of the thanks that the rhythm guitar or the drums get. The most, and I mean the most that he gets, is a solo at the end of the show. Which is fun, but you know… it’s very much a job that you take because you love the big picture, not the details.

That’s his point of view, anyways. Because the second he sees you in-show, his whole world gets flipped on his head.

You have a very confident poise on stage — unshakeable, much like the deep notes that you pluck from the instrument. And yet, you command attention from the crowd effortlessly. It’s like you were made for this — all long strides and sneaky smiles as you move around on stage. And despite the eccentricity of your fellow bandmates — a very energetic show, he’s noticed — you still draw a sizable amount of attention from the packed arena, and man does he wish he was in the pit right now so he could get that sly little smile head-on. And huh, maybe bass can be fun, after all.

He loves to brag about you, and will do so at any opportunity.

After seeing your prowess on stage, he starts practicing a bit outside of concert season… and then more, and more, until he finally feels ready enough to fight to get the bass turned up in the next Dethalbum. Thanksch, babe.

[deakyjoe]

Do you mind if I ask a question about the band Ghost please?

I’m (very confused) around the numbered what seems like lead singers? Are they all the same person but different times/phases? Not sure if it makes sense. I find it so interesting when you post about them but I just can’t figure it out!

Oh my god, my time has come… here is a guide to the Papas (lead singers) of Ghost:

So first off let me start by clarifying that the band members of Ghost (Papas as lead singers and Nameless Ghouls as instrumentalists and backing vocalists) are all characters. They’re a group of folks in masks and makeup. There’s a lot of lore and backstory around the band but we won’t touch on that too much here. I’ll just talk about the Papas - the anti-pope leads. (Also the following will contain Rite Here Rite Now/Ghovie spoilers!!)

Ok so the lead singers we’ve had in Ghost so far have been Papa Emeritus I (Primo), Papa Emeritus II (Secondo), Papa Emeritus III (Terzo) and Cardinal Copia who was eventually promoted to being Papa Emeritus IV. These lead singer characters are all half brothers (their father is Papa Nihil who we’ll discuss briefly later) and all pretty much have their own albums (few EPs and live albums in there too but I won’t bore you with those).

All the lead singers of Ghost, all Emeritus brothers, have been played by this guy - Tobias Forge!

He writes and sings all of the songs, does the majority of studio work too from what I understand. So whilst there have been several “different” lead singers of Ghost due to the role being taken over by new Papas, technically they’re all Tobias in masks.

First Papa we had in the early days (around 2010 - 2012) was Primo (Papa Emeritus I). He’s the hardest to find photos/footage of since it was the beginnings. I always affectionately refer to him as “The Old One” since he was supposed to be about 80. His album was Opus Eponymous.

Next up we had Secondo (Papa Emeritus II) for a couple years (around 2012 - 2015). His face is the one that makes an appearance on a lot of Ghost merch I find. I think of him as “The Bald One” (lovingly of course). His album was Infestissumam.

Then we had Terzo (Papa Emeritus III) for a while (around 2015 - 2017) before he was dramatically ripped off stage and (maybe) decapitated. He’s only supposed to be 3 months younger than Secondo. I call him “The Hot One” because he’s fine as hell. His album was Meliora.

Then there was a dramatic shift in the way things worked. We were out of Emeritus brothers as they kept “retiring” (supposedly according to the lore) but it’s okay because a lovely little Cardinal came along to save the day! Introducing: Cardinal Copia!! To me he’s “Just A Little Guy” which is the most accurate description of him you’ll ever hear I promise you. (Also when Copia took over it was revealed that the previous Papas had been “killed”.) His album was Prequelle.

Eventually Copia was promoted to being Papa Emeritus IV (it had been pretty heavily implied up until that point that he was also an Emeritus half brother) which meant he could wear the Papa paints now. Also Copia is my personal favourite. Copia got a second album with Impera.

We had Copia from 2018 - now (he’s just been promoted again to Frater Imperator so will probably no longer be frontman for the band). This means Papa Emeritus V will be introduced at some point (probably Copia’s twin which was a detail revealed in Rite Here Rite Now - the recent Ghost concert movie).

But going back to Papa Nihil (the father of all the Emeritus brothers). I would like to make it clear that Ghost formed in 2006 and released their first demos in 2010 but according to their lore they go back to at least the 1960s. Which is when Nihil was frontman for the group. Nihil is not played by Tobias Forge, he’s had different actors for both his old and young versions, but his songs are sung by him (e.g. the hit song Mary On A Cross). Nihil has not been lead singer for the band on stage at any point (though he does make appearances and play the sax at some of them). Nihil has an EP called Seven Inches of Satanic Panic (“originally” from 1969 and then “re-released” in 2019) which features Mary On A Cross and Kiss The Go-Goat. (Also has an additional song revealed recently - The Future Is A Foreign Land.)

So essentially all the Papas are different characters but all played by the same guy. They have different faces (masks) and makeup, different personalities, different mannerisms, and slightly different singing voices (Tobias switches up the way he sings songs slightly between Papas) as well as talking voices. There’s way more to it all (which you can read about on any fan website, or even Wikipedia,) as the lore is pretty extensive for a silly little satanic band. I’d recommend watching The Chapters on YouTube if you’re interested in more. Also Papaganda Parts 1 and 2 which are pretty funny. There’s also a few helpful videos on YouTube that discuss the Ghost timeline in way more depth.

Sorry if this was a little too much rambling but it’s difficult to be concise with Ghost. Hope this all makes sense. Thanks, anon, for the question as I love to talk about anything I’m interested in!!

[peach-blossoms]

缝合 (Fix You) – Zhou Shen

Album: 《反深代词》 - Track 8 Lyricist: Zhou Shen & Wang Qian Composer: Song Yang Arrangement: Song Yang & Qian Lei Producer: Qian Lei

Where to buy/listen (not available on Spotify or Youtube yet)

Live performance at 9.29Hz Concert in Hangzhou (eng subbed by me)

[T/N: literal translation of title is “sewing / suturing / mending” all artistic liberties in translation are mine, and paragraph breaks were added for ease of reading. although zs participated in writing the lyrics for many songs in this album, this detail is an even more devastating fact when it comes to this song. read the extras at the end for more sufferingdetails]

"This is a song I don't wish for you to understand. If you do understand it, give yourself a hug. Thank you for your hard work." - Zhou Shen's comment on Weibo post about the song

LYRICS

情绪伤口 修补能手 These emotional wounds were mended by a professional 短暂缝合之后又渗出血流 Shortly after suturing, blood seeped out again 同父母说 相同困惑 I told my parents to their perplexity 也正在大人身体里经历着 Adult bodies also experience the same 不停思索 寻找缘由 Thinking incessantly, seeking reasons 听见左胸传来回声的空洞 Hearing a hollow echo from the left chest 这不够好，那要改过 This is not good enough, must correct it 无尽的盼头 Hope is inexhaustible

I’m giving my all 寻找缺口 修补伤口 Find the nicks, mend the wounds I’m giving my all 缝补之后 又再次泪流 After mending, tears flow again I’m giving my all 新的伤痕 旧的内疚 These new scars, these old guilts I’m giving my all 如何才能 找到出口 How can I find the way out?

否定成果 爽约承诺 Negated gains, broken promises 都缝合成细腻温柔的眼色 Are all sewn into smooth and gentle eyes 落单门口 独行角落 Left alone at the door, in a solitary corner 都包扎成坚强独立的成就 Are all bound up into strong and independent successes

重复工作 重复失落 Work keeps repeating, loss keeps duplicating 调换角色修补找新的成果 Swapping mending roles to seek new results 不同身体 不同角落 A different body, a different corner 同样的苦痛 The pain is no different

I’m giving my all 大人背后 常乌云盖着 Behind each adult are often dark clouds I’m giving my all 孩子内心 底色是晴的 The colour of a child’s heart is sunny I’m giving my all 白的天空 留了一滴墨 A drop of ink lands in the white sky I’m giving my all 如何调色 如何来涂抹 How to blend the colours, how to paint them

所有无助的绑住的困住的我都清楚却也无法挣脱 These helplessness, bindings, and entrapments, I know them all, yet cannot break free 所有偏执的逃离的期盼的他们都懂也无法从头来过 These fixations, running away, and expectations, they understand them all, yet cannot start over

I’m giving my all 各自运转 各自角色 Each of us is functioning, each of us has a role I’m giving my all 你们都是 第一次活着 You all are living for the first time I’m giving my all 万般无意 伤口却留着 However unintentional the slights, they still leave behind wounds I’m giving my all 伤痕再多 也值得被爱着 How ever many scars there are, you are worthy of being loved

EXTRAS

About the song’s setting:

“In the world of 200 years later, all injured humans will be mended by magical robots. Adult robots are responsible for mending adult humans, and young robots are responsible for mending children; they form a family unit and work together. All human wounds will eventually heal, except for one part...

One day, a young mending robot asks its parents for help: "This child's heart was mended yesterday, but today the wound has reopened..."

The parents, who are also mending robots, smile as if they are used to it: "Adult hearts are just as difficult to mend...but you'll get used to it after you mend them a few more times."

The little robot knocked on its chest unknowingly – a hollow echo came from the metal shell. "Can a robot without a heart mend a bleeding heart?" it wonders.

The little robot decides to exchange the client with its parents. It wants to find the answer to achieving "completely mended".

With its parents around and watching, it opens the chest of an adult human with great expectation―

Misunderstanding, regret, guilt, helplessness, self-blame, pain...

These emotions, akin to old and new scars crisscrossing, cover up the bleeding heart in layers.

"We can't truly mend the person’s heart, right? Dad, Mom..."

"Perhaps...but as long as the heart is still beating, we still have a chance to mend it again."”

Zhou Shen’s Weibo post sharing his thoughts about the song:

“Mending” is a song that made me very very very very very very very very very very very very very stressed.

Sometimes I even felt that I was doing something that was a bit "indelicate". But I also feel that "being seen" has a certain kind of meaning!!

As a singer, I feel like I am a little mending robot from 200 years later, slowly mending everyone's new and old wounds, including my own, through singing.

I hesitated many times, wondering if writing these emotions would be a bit "indelicate", but I ended up burying many of my own shards into the lyrics. I also worried whether this song would touch the shards that many listeners buried in their memories that they do not want to be touched?

But just like the little robot, despite failures and despite lack of solutions, it still persists in dissecting the wound and mending it again and again.

In the face of unchangeable facts, only by facing and meeting them head on, only by accepting and understanding, only by listening and empathizing, only by being sincere and courageous, and never giving up on yourself, can you create opportunities and allow the wounds to be truly mended.

In fact, I also know that many wounds will not heal in the end.

But to have the opportunity to mend them again and again, I think that is a very happy thing.

I wish for everyone: To not be afraid of new wounds, to not be afraid of old scars; no matter what, you are always worthy of being loved.

I am very happy to be your mending little robot.

Each of us is our own mending little robot.

Even if you have been bearing new and old scars all this time, it will not prevent you from being surrounded by passionate love!!! Not because of any reason, but because it is you, so it is worth it!”

[taylormereditholivia1989]

I am still so grateful that @taylorswift liked the post of me and my sister Kate during the Lover era! For sure the most surrealist thing that's ever happened!

We are finally seeing Taylor live this year!! We have dreamt of seeing her live since we were young (7 and 4 years old). Money has always been tight for us. Our Mum and Dad knew how much we really wanted to go to the Speak Now tour in Belfast but unfortunately could not make it happen. ❤️

By the time 1989 and reputation came to Dublin, I eagerly watched videos of the tours on YouTube and posted updates on my tumblr. However, by then my little sister Kate was seriously struggling and repeatedly hospitalised with the (then undiagnosed) and vert rare connective tissue disorder that is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Kate unintentionally lost a significant of weight during these years and stopped getting nutrition from her food. We were terrified and didn't know what would happen.

We were born with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Dysautonomia, but these were only diagnosed last year. 🦓🦓💛💛

I have dealt with my symptoms from my early teens. My sister Kate has struggled since childhood. This has made socialising and forming solid friendships impossible as we are typically too ill to meet up.

Kate has a knee operation coming up soon. I have kyphosis surgery. We don't yet know if this will be before or after the eras tour in June. We hope everything works out and we can see Taylor live to celebrate all the eras.

To see Taylor right in front of us at Dublin Night One still feels too good to be true. This is what we have been waiting for all these years. I can't wait to sing and dance with Taylor and thousands of other fans for one magical night. I can't wait to have the best evening ever with my parents and my sister. This is what Kate and I have spent hundreds of hours sitting around the fire, carefully analysing verses and discussing hidden meanings. 🔮

Kate and I use a wheelchair part time. We do, however, plan to stand during the eras concert in the front right with our parents for a once in a lifetime experience. We will wear our braces and keep our pain medication topped up. We will get through the night. We know laughs and memories from the tour will last us a lifetime. We have many more tests and examinations left to carry out, but no doubt your jams (especially the tortured poets department as well as future music you are probably already working on). 🤣

We most look forward to hearing the song marjorie live. We both cried when we first listened to it. Taylor describes her grandmother beautifully. We feel especially connected to our grandfather when we listen to this. We discovered a few months back that we inherited our rare genetic condition from our grandfather. He passed young as it went undiscovered. We believe listening to marjorie helps keep his memory alive because we think of him. 💙☀️

We are lucky to have Taylor's music as a form of therapy. We relate to her quirks and her awkward and lovable sense of humour. We genuinely believe Taylor is the funniest person to ever live and we are entranced by how she is so unapologetically herself. Being 5ft 10 and seeing Taylor in the media has really helped me to be more comfortable and accepting of my height and my overall appearance.

@taylorswift if you just so happen to see this post or catch a glimpse of our sequin dresses, curly hair and ever-glittery eye makeup on stage please know: Kate and I are beyond ecstatic to celebrate at your concert. We are going to sing and dance like we have always dreamed of doing. Please ignore our clicking knees and hips if you just so happen to hear them up on the stage. I can say with almost 99% certainty any clicking will be our 22 and 19 year old bodies just doing their thing lol. 🤣

P.S. We can't wait to see your extremely sparkly outfits, shoes and makeup (we really REALLY love glitter in case it wasn't already obvious!!) in person. We love how unhinged you are with sparkles!! 💜

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

- Anna (and the slightly more monotone but equally as funny, Kate). 🩷🩷

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | five

It only feels this raw right now, lost in the labyrinth of my mind. *Elliots POV* After a couple of anxiety ridden hours we had finally made it to Seattle. The anticipation of seeing Noah again was consuming me to the point that I could hardly sit still. Danielle kept reassuring me that everything was going to work out but it didn’t help whatsoever. I just had to ride this feeling out until I saw Noah again. Seattle was so beautiful but Noah was right, it’s not Canada.  I only ever came down here for sporting events or concerts so I’ve never had a chance to really sightsee. Our hotel room was right around the corner from the venue so we walked down the road to find somewhere to eat since we couldn’t check in for another hour. We were talking about our game plan for tonight and not paying attention cause as soon as we turned the corner we ran into Matt and Bryan. “Oh fuck.” Danielle cursed. “What are you two doing here?”  

“Ok you can’t say a fucking thing to Noah but little miss over here wanted to surprise him.” Danielle piped back as she pointed at me. “How romantic.” Matt sarcastically replied as he put his hand over his heart. “If you guys want we get you in to watch from the side stage but I don’t want any credit cause the idea of love makes me want to puke. Especially the idea of Noah being in love.” “Yeah, it’s super nauseating.” Bryan chimed in.

“So fucking thoughtful Matthew, thank you!” I mocked as I put my hand over my heart. “Or I could just tell Noah.” he replies shrugging his shoulders at us. “Not one word, Dierkes, you got it?” I got right in his face and he just winked at me before promising me he would stay silent. We exchanged numbers so we could meet up later to sneak in. They walked back into the venue and I just shook my head. Danielle even looked over at me with a concerning look on her face. “What?” “You know if things don’t work out with you and Noah. You and Matt have some weird ass chemistry going on here.” “He is not my type.” I scoffed. “True, but he was totally flirting with you.” “If that was him flirting he has a lot of work to do.” I laughed as we walked down the road to find a restaurant. *Noahs POV* The last time I was this nervous for a show was opening night of our first headliner two years ago. I felt like I had lived 10 different lives since then and thanks to Covid I’m pretty sure I had. I was still in denial that I would get to talk to Elliot after the show and it was making it hard for me to stay focused. A part of me was scared she was just going to tell me to fuck off and I’d never hear from her again, but then again maybe she’ll give me a second chance. The crowd in Seattle was one of the best we had all tour. There was no altercations and everyone looked like they were having an incredible time. Some nights I still got flashbacks of our Warped Tour days where people would watch our sets just to tell us we sounded like shit or to start fights with our fans or even us sometimes. This tour was really showing me people cared about our band, which was something I was having a hard time wrapping around my head still.

“So before I start this next song I uh, I wanted to dedicate this to someone, even though she’s not here to hear me out. I hope you guys can help me out, this is ‘Just Pretend.’” 

“We’ll try again when we’re not so different. We’ll make amends, till then I’ll just pretend.“

I was on my knees belting this song out with every emotion I had. I know I wrote this song as a joke to show how easy it was to write a popular song but it hit different after everything that’s happened since last night. I could feel tears wanting to form but they stopped when saw Elliot and Danielle on the side of the stage with Bryan. I froze and my heart was pounding so fucking hard that I could feel it in my ears. I looked over at Nick and he was just as surprised when he saw them. I brought my attention back to her and she smiled at me through her tears. If I wasn’t already on my knees that goddamn smile of hers would’ve buckled me right over. I stayed on my knees and didn’t break our eye contact while we finished the song. 

“Weigh down on me, stay till morning, way down…would you say I’m worthy?” 

We finished our set a couple songs later and I ran to the side of the stage but she was already gone. I was confused at first and wondered if I hallucinated her being here but when I turned the corner she was waiting for me in the hallway. I couldn’t help but smirk as the guys walked by and said hi to her, exposing how short she really was. It was adorable. I couldn’t get enough. As she high-fived Nick she saw me from the corner of her eye and met my stare. I forgot how bright her eyes were and it sent a shock wave through my body. “What are you doing here?” “I-“ I didn’t even let her answer, the anticipation was killing me. I grabbed a fistful of her hair and kissed her with no hesitation. I wanted to fully blame the adrenaline from the show on this but I couldn’t wait any longer. I pressed her against the wall as the kiss deepened. She was standing on her tallest tip toes and it caused me to smile against her lips. “I thought a grand gesture was needed.” She said as we broke apart.

“Elliot, I am so sorry about last night. I know once we figure this out it will all make sense.” “Ellie.” “What?” “You can call me Ellie. I think you’ve earned that privilege now that you’ve dedicated a song to me.” she joked before kissing my cheek. “Also, you guys were amazing tonight.” She adds as she wraps me into a hug. I guess my sweat didn’t seem to bother her as she held onto to me tighter.  “So it’s kind of tradition after Seattle shows that we play some kind of game, with drinking rules obviously.” Folio said rudely interrupting us. “I’m thinking we play Uno.” “I’m gonna mop the floor with your tears Folio.” Ellie shot back at him as she gave him the middle finger. “You’re so on.” He says as gives us both the finger before walking away. She laughs before turning her attention back to me. I kissed her again, this time I was little more gentle since my adrenaline was wearing off. I never wanted to stop kissing her, it felt like seeing the closing fireworks at Disneyworld for the first time. We broke apart and I planted a soft kiss on her nose and forehead as I caught my breath. Yeah, I’m falling in love and I’m fucking terrified.

[ourshadowstallerthanoursoul]

Getting the led out - interview to JPJ

(by Gail Worley, Ink19 - April 26, 2002 - x)

This has to be THE interview. It's Jonesy's best interview I've found so far, so READ IT. You won't regret a single second spent reading it, I promise you.

I saw the interview you did with Jim DeRogatis at South By Southwest in 2000. In that interview you said – perhaps jokingly – that one of the reasons it took you so long to make your first solo album is that you don’t sing. 'The Thunderthief' has your first recorded vocals ever. Was singing on a record with no previous experience a scary thing for you?

Yes. I mean, I had to make sure I could sing well enough to put [the performance] on record, so it wasn’t totally scary, you know what I mean? I sort of crept up on it [laughs]. The scary thing was actually doing it live on stage the first night, in Nashville (when Jones opened for King Crimson on their last tour). That was scary. What I wanted to do was do three songs from 'Thunderthief'. We started with 'Leafy Meadows' and then I did 'Hoediddle' and then I did 'Freedom Song' – which is scary enough. However, I suddenly thought, "I can’t just sing one song" (two of these three songs are instrumentals). So I thought, I need another vocal [laughs]. I didn’t want to do anything else off 'The Thunderthief', so I, in my bravura, decided to sing 'That’s The Way'. Singing a Zeppelin song was even scarier, I can tell you.

I bet.

What I used to do on the tour before, I played an instrumental version of 'Going To California' on the mandolin, and I used to team [those two songs]. I would start with 'That’s The Way' – because I played those mandolin parts on the original record. [Hums the tune] Then I said, "You didn’t think I was going to sing, did you?" [Laughs] But this time I did it and I sang it, so people who went to both concerts thought it was some kind of a trick [laughs]. But it went down alright. Nobody killed me for it, ‘cause I can’t possibly sing it like Robert Plant. I don’t have that voice. But I did it in this other way, and it worked, but the first night I was terrified. Remembering words is the hard part. I put the lyrics on a music stand, so I couldn’t fuck it up. But I’m learning, I’m getting better.

How has working with a guy like Robert Fripp influenced your own writing and playing?

Well, I haven’t actually worked with him that much. The biggest connection is being on his label. [Long pause] I mean, when Zeppelin first started in 1969, and people would say, "What sort of band is it?" I used to say "progressive rock", because in those days it meant rock that progressed [laughs]. You know, it was a very literal term; "Well, you know, we’re trying to advance the form of it, and this is what we’re doing to make it go somewhere." But of course, that title came to have all sorts of different meanings. When it started to mean 'classic', that’s when I stopped saying it was progressive rock. But then we’d say it’s 'blues rock', because people love to label things. I didn’t really hear an awful lot of King Crimson [music], to be honest. But being on his label is great, mainly because of the fact that you get, obviously, total artistic freedom. There are no contracts, either. He really hates the music industry with a passion, and he’s not afraid of telling everybody [laughs] at every available opportunity, which is great. And the artist maintains the copyrights to all their material, so I just agree with him on that whole side, and I really like the way he approaches music, and musicians. He’s so passionate about everything and has a definite way that he wants to do it. It’s inspiring to know that people can say, "This is the way I want to do it!" and off he goes! He’s always kind of been around in the background, but the first time Fripp got my attention was when Brain Eno called me and asked if I knew a piano player who could do some avant garde piano. He asked if I knew anybody who could do some spacey sort of piano, and I couldn’t really think of anybody. I asked him to describe what he wanted and then I said, "Well, I can do that" [laughs]. Alright then, so I said, "What’s the track?" and he said, "Fripp’s doing a solo on it, and I want you to do the counterpart." So I went along, and it was just this rhythm track, and I played this sort of spacey piano. The next time I heard it, Fripp had put his guitar solo on afterwards, so there’s this sort of alien spacey piano and suddenly this guitar comes in like [makes sounds of cars crashing], and I was like, "Fuck! I wish I’d known he was doing that! Jesus Christ!" Like "Who is this guy?" [laughs] Then, when I met him, he was like [imitating Robert Fripp’s gentlemanly nature] "Oh, Hello John. How are you?" I’m thinking, "Now, this isn’t the same guy who was like [makes car crash noises] on that record?" But it was. And that’s what he did on "Leafy Meadows". He walked in and he puttered about and set his pedals up and had tea and cake and then he went, "Whaaaahh!!!!" [Laughs] I really like that. It’s quite a paradox. That’s what I like about Diamanda [Galas] as well. When you meet her she’s terribly nice and sweet. And then you see her sing and [makes exaggerated face of terror].

I had to smile when I saw that Nick Beggs plays the Chapman stick on the album, because I remember him as the bassist for Kajagoogoo. How do you go about finding the various players who are involved with your solo projects?

Well, on 'Zooma' I had Pete Thomas on drums and Trey Gunn on stick. I wanted a stick player because they think differently. They’re often bass players as well, and they just approach it differently. Plus, from a very practical point of view, in a trio, it’s great, because I’m a bass player and a keyboard player and I play quite a lot of lap steel in my show. If I’m doing bass, then [the stick player] can play all the lead parts. If I go to the keyboards, he can then switch to bass in mid-song, if necessary. So, it’s very practical and it means I haven’t got someone standing there with a guitar, who feels like, "Well I should be playing something, because I’m standing here" [laughs]. There’s loads of space in a trio – which is what was nice about Led Zeppelin, because when Robert wasn’t singing we were a trio. There’s loads of space and you can go anywhere you like. So, Trey Gunn was on that album and originally I had asked him to come out with me on the road, because the idea, of course, with 'Zooma' was to get out and play it. He was going to [come out with us], but then King Crimson had resurfaced and he said his first loyalty was to go with them. Then I asked Robert [Fripp] if he knew of another Chapman stick player, and he said [adopting Fripp’s accent], "Well you won't believe it, but Nick Beggs is a really good player." I went, "Nick Beggs from Kajagoogoo? ‘Too Shy’?" And he goes, "Yeah, try him out." So I did. Then I went through a few drummers and eventually Nick said, well, "Terl Bryant is a really good drummer." So he came on board and he was great, and their attitudes are just awesome. It’s a happy family, they call me 'Pater' [laughs]. But it really is just like a family on the road, it’s really sweet. And they’re just full-on, enthusiastic, 100% committed, and it’s great.

Will you be taking 'Thunderthief' on the road now that your tour opening for Crimson has passed?

Well, yes. We’re trying to get some dates together at the moment, to do 'The Thunderthief'. But the thing is, I’d like to headline again, because then I can do my long show with the keyboards and things. But I may have to open for somebody else, again, because we really need to play to more people. It’s just maddening. I mean, we can sell out Irving Plaza [mid-size venue in NYC], but there comes a point where that’s the biggest one we can sell out, because nobody knows us. Everybody comes to the show and goes away going [adopts American accent], "That was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen! It was fantastic!" and then they tell their friends and we get people going, "Wow, I wished I’d known he was playing there." We really just need to play to more people.

Here’s a quote from a review of 'The Thunderthief': "Since his days as a top sessioneer, his abilities as an arranger and multi-instrumentalist have equipped him to add musical finesse to any genre." That’s a pretty nice compliment. Is that part of the reason you’ve been attracted to such genre diverse projects? You know, from Cinderella to The Butthole Surfers?

[Laughing] Cinderella…

Oh come on, I love Cinderella.

Yeah, they were alright. The drummer owns a bus company now. Yeah, it’s all the same to me. As long as it’s good [music] I don’t care what it is. I mean, I’ve done classical composition and string quartets and [sighs] I don’t really care what it is. If somebody asks me to do something and I don’t know how to do it, I’ll find out.

In a criticism of the song 'Angry Angry', one reviewer said that you were "Always too accomplished to achieve something so off the cuff." I guess you’d call that a back-handed compliment.

Yeah, he didn’t get it. The Brits don’t like 'Angry Angry'. For a start, they understand the accent [I sing that song in], which they hate, ‘cause it’s "music hall", basically, is what it is – like a vaudeville accent. And they don’t like it because I think they think I’m taking the piss out of punk, which I’m not. I don’t do parody at all. It’s actually terribly prosaic, how it all happened, but music is just like that for me, basically. 'Angry Angry' is at the speed it is because I heard Adam Bomb (Pink Gibson from NY based rock band, Get Animal, who plays guitar on this song) play at the Borderline in London and I immediately heard what I wanted him to do [on the record]. I went back into the studio and put a riff down, which was on bass, mandolin, and drum machine which was [sings hyper-speed riff from song], at that speed. I got it to play for three minutes, just that riff, and then I wrote the song and thought, "Now, what do I do with it?" It was at that tempo and had that intensity and the phrase 'Angry Angry' just came to me, so I wrote the lyrics from there. And I had to do it in that voice because it sounds stupid any other way [laughs]. But the Brits hate it. They think I’m trying to be something that I’m not.

Oh, those Brits are so serious about everything.

Well, you haven’t met the Germans. They’ll go right into anything and find all the symbolism and the lot.

'Ice Fishing at Night' is a really beautiful song with some dark lyrics. What inspired you to write that song?

Well, I didn’t write the lyrics. They came with 'The Thunderthief'.

What does that mean?

What happened was, halfway through what was basically going to be an instrumental album, but was also a continuation from 'Zooma', I decided it’d be really nice to have voices [laughs]. As I’ve said before, I didn’t want to get a guest vocalist in, for a couple of reasons actually. One is that I know that I’d forget what I was doing and work on producing them, whoever the vocalist was. I would immediately turn into a producer and it would go somewhere else. The other reason is that, being a bass player, I don’t actually have a distinctive sound. I mean, some people will listen to a record and go, "Oh yeah, that’s a John Paul Jones record", but if you just heard one song in isolation, [you couldn’t tell]. Like, if you’re Santana, that record he did, every time he hits that guitar you know that’s Santana. It’s what he does. He doesn’t do anything else except for that sound. I don’t have that, because of the instruments I play. I thought, guest vocalists will only dilute that and just diffuse it even more. I decided, "I’m going to try and sing myself." Then I thought, "well, I’ve got nothing to sing." Then I was thinking that I don’t want to become a singer and a songwriter all at the same time. One thing at a time, you know? So, I knew Peter Blegvad, he’s a singer/songwriter, and a cartoonist as well – he did the album cover. He’s got a weird way of looking at things; just a strange, twisted sort of dark view. I thought he’d be the ideal person to write some lyrics. I asked him, "Have you got any lyrics that you haven’t got music to? Any lyrics just laying around?" He had about four songs that he gave me and I picked up 'The Thunderthief' and 'Ice Fishing at Night' and set them to music, and basically, just experimented with singing to see whether I liked what I did. I thought I could work with these songs and I could sing enough to do what I wanted to do. I don’t have a great technique or a great voice, but as long as I could convince myself that it sounded alright, then it would be OK… which is how I do everything [laughs]. You know, I’m not a great technician on any instrument, but as long as I can convince myself that it sounds real, then I’ll do it. I sang those two songs and then I thought, "well I can’t just sing two songs" [laughs]… I think like this all the time… it’s boring really. "You can’t just have two songs… how about trying to do some more?" Now that I know I can sing, I’ll try and write some lyrics and see how easy that is. So, I learned another trick. I discovered, like many people I’m sure have, that with the onset of the computer, I enjoyed writing emails. And since I enjoyed composing emails, I thought, "I wonder if it works for writing lyrics?" [Laughs] I tired writing some lyrics on the computer and – sure enough – I wrote three songs in an hour… one of which was 'Angry Angry'. I thought, "this is fun!" I could finally master the song form on the next album, ‘cause there’s no rules, you see? It’s great!

You make it up as you go along.

Absolutely, you get away with it yet again. [Laughing] I’ve had a lot of encouragement, but at the beginning of 'Zoom'a I thought, "They’re all going to go, 'it’s boring!'"

You’ve influenced so any modern rock bassists, from Tom Hamilton and John Deacon of Queen to Krist Novoselic and Flea. It’s almost like, if you drew it all as a Family Tree, you’d be the father of rock bass playing. What’s that like?

Well, it’s just that they haven’t bothered to look further than me. I mean, I’m just lower down the food chain than somebody else is. It just depends on how far you want to go back, really. It’s very nice, it’s very flattering… but I’m imparting stuff that I probably learned from James Jamison and [Donald] 'Duck' Dunn and Charles Mingus. But it’s very nice [to hear that I’ve influenced somebody]. I met some guy in New Orleans on the last tour and he says, "You probably don’t remember me but I came to see you with my Dad when I was 12 years old. You really influenced me and you got me playing the bass and you told me I should practice." He was, like, in his twenties now. I asked him if he was still playing and he said yes, he was the principal bass for the New Orleans Philharmonic Symphony [laughs]. Right! Nice to meet you!

How did it happen that 'Rock & Roll' is now the theme music for a Cadillac commercial?

Ah! Because they asked us if they could use it [laughs]. Cadillac’s kind of a romantic thing – for Englishmen, especially. You think, "Pink Cadillac", and it was Elvis’s car, and it’s a Limo and it just has this aura. I don’t know whether it’s the same in America; probably not, because you have them over here all the time – you’ve lived with them [laughs]. I can see a Cadillac now, and it’s BIG, with big fins and whitewall tires. But they asked us if they could use the song, and they didn’t get it for nothing. And why not?

Do all three of you – you and Jimmy and Robert – all have to make a decision like that? It’s not like Page did it when you weren’t looking?

No, all three of us make those decisions.

Well, on one had, you can think, "Classic car, classic song", but it does kind of bother me that I hear The Who’s 'Bargain' now and instantly think of a car commercial.

Well, yeah… I haven’t actually seen the commercial yet.

Before Led Zeppelin ever came into being, you had a successful career as a session musician and arranger. How much of Zeppelin’s unique sound is owed to your work on the arrangements?

Eh… some. But then it’s equally the way Bonham approached the drums and it really was a group effort. Even if the original idea wasn’t a group effort, the final thing was a group effort. It really was, more than any band I was involved in. It was never like the songwriter ruled the band. Robert wrote the lyrics last, usually.

But there wasn’t any other band that sounded like Led Zeppelin, and there never has been since. That’s kind of a big deal when you think about it. Especially now, in this day of everybody sounding like everyone else.

That’s because people in bands these days always listen to the same music. They all start a band because they all like U2 or they all like Pearl Jam. Consequently, their field of reference is very narrow. Our field of reference was huge. Page and I were very hard working session musicians, and when you walk into a session it can be absolutely anything. Country and western, to Champion Jack Dupree, to Englebert Humperdink, to a big band session. You walk through that door and you don’t know; it could really be anything [laughs]. You name it, I’ve done it. I played weddings, I’ve played Bar Mitzvahs, I’ve done Irish weddings, Jewish weddings, Greek weddings, Italian weddings. I can play it all. Musicians these days, they don’t seem to do that anymore, and bring it all into the mix. Bonzo used to like soul music and knew the words to every Chi-Lites record, ever [laughs]. He was the biggest Smokey Robinson fan, he was into Motown, he loved The Beatles and James Brown. I was into all that soul music, jazz, and classical. Robert was really into blues and all the rock stuff and doo-wop. Page had all these other interests. It was just a huge range of influences, you could go here or there or this way or that. And that’s what I do now, with this music.

What was the dynamic like between you and John Bonham as a rock rhythm section?

Well, we weren’t like a lot of rock rhythm sections, we swung like a bastard! [laughs] Groove was extremely important in Zeppelin and it wasn’t in a lot of those bands [that were popular at the same time]. It was extremely important, which is what, to me, made the band [so great]. We used to have a lot of women at our concerts – and I loved having women at our concerts because they’d dance. [Laughing] It’s great, because the guys stand there with their arms folded and the girls are dancing. Zeppelin was great because it was music you could dance to, and you can’t say that about too many rock bands.

How did your work with Diamanda Galas on her record 'The Sporting Life' and its subsequent tour, end up affecting your own career?

Oh, wow, she’s my favorite piano player. She’s just very inspiring as an artist, she’s very passionate, very committed, always knows what she wants to do. I have several other things to thank her for; she got me playing steel guitar again, which I hadn’t done for years. She saw it in the studio and said "What’s that?" And I said, "Steel guitar", "I want to hear it." So we put it on one of her songs and we did two songs with it in her shows. It was good because it gave me some sort of "high voice" as well as being in the back playing bass. And I thought, "this is a way I can work, this is a way I can actually do a solo show without being a bass player and having other people take over all the fun stuff."

Didn’t she also inspire you to start playing live again?

Yes, she did. I mean… somebody actually said, I think this was a German interview, [the journalist] said that he thought that these records – this is interesting – that 'The Thunderthief' was the third record in a trilogy, starting with Diamanda’s record. And in fact, he’s right in that way, because that was the first time I’d tried using that sort of riff, drums and voice. A lot of people didn’t like it, but to me it was blindingly obvious. I couldn’t see why nobody had thought of it before, especially with her voice, because she has all that range and passion. Plus, her lyrics are great! These homicidal love songs are wonderful [laughs]. She came along with, "Hide the knives, baby’s insane!" [laughs]. 'Skotoseme', that first track [on 'The Sporting Life'], she did it in one take. Me and the engineer were shaking at the end of it, and she just went [adopting a woman’s voice] "Is that OK? I’m going to get myself some coffee" [laughing]. When someone suggested we work together, I could hear it all in my head. I just went [snaps fingers], "I know what we’re going to do as well." I sent her these riffs, to New York, and she sent back some ideas. Then she just turned up and stayed for two months, and we made the record. It was just brilliant. I thought, "This is great! We can do what we like again." I was just so inspired. Then she also told me – cause she’s collaborated with everybody as well – that she’d said in interviews, when they’d say, "Well, why don’t you collaborate anymore?" She’d say, "Well, I’ve put effort into everybody else’s music. If I’m going to put that much effort into music, it’s going to be my own." And I went, "Yeah!" [laughs].

She kinda scares me, to tell you the truth.

She scares us all! That’s the fun part. But she’s so committed to her music. She’s just having fun. She was great on stage one time, [laughs] there was that perfect moment in this theater in Chicago, she was there at the front of the stage and – you know how everybody shouts out song titles? – a little voice comes up in this slight lull between songs and goes "Song Remains the Same!" And she just looked at him and she goes [makes malevolent face], "No, it doesn’t, motherfucker." [Laughing] You could see the crowd part.

As a way of wrapping this up, I surely don’t have to tell you this, but thinking about how Led Zeppelin always gets the nod as the greatest hard rock or metal band of all time – on VH1 shows or magazine polls, or radio countdowns or whatever – do you think the endurance and greatness of the Led Zeppelin legend has much to do with the fact that you guys called it quits after John Bonham died, while you were still a hot item?

[Pauses] I suppose with hindsight, maybe that did have something to do with it. I mean, there was no point in carrying on, it would be a different band, because no John Bonham, no Led Zeppelin, it’s as simple as that. He was so integral, to have gotten someone else would have made it more of a tribute band, if you were playing Led Zeppelin songs, because anyone else would have to be in his shadow all the time. However, he died at a time when there was like a new lease on life, a new awakening in Zeppelin. Punk had severely embarrassed us [laughs]. We’d stripped down and just went, [shrugs] "Oh, OK, right. This is over, off we go again." It was a very hopeful time, despite the darkness of having lost John. That was terrible. So, yes, [had he not died] we would have gone on and… who knows what would have happened.

[littlehannekin18]

I don't know if anyone will see this, but I needed to get it out.

Liam Payne's death has been heartbreaking in ways I honestly didn't think was possible. I didn't expect to have so many feelings about it, and yet here I am. Reading the letters and the autopsy report absolutely broke me.

For context, I was only maybe 9 when One Direction debuted. I only really fell in love with them when I was 11, so I didn't get to have some of the more personal experiences that older fans (like teens) may have had. I never had the pleasure of going to a concert or meet&greets. Even so, every girl has the right to choose her boy band and One Direction was what I grew up listening to in my formative years.

Liam was always my favorite. He had this bright smile and such a chill personality. After everyone split, he kind of went quiet for a while building his family and living more privately, but I always silently wished him the best, as I did all the boys. Hearing the news surfaced so many new emotions for me. Like, he has a 7 year old son that he loved dearly. That's crazy to me. He still spoke with the boys and even met with them and Simon on occasion. Reading all of their kind words about him, his son, and his career really made that evident.

Not only is it heartbreaking to lose such a wonderful human being, but the context around his death just makes it that much worse. There has been talk amongst the community of a possible reunion in the hopes that they could sing together again (Louis even touched on it in his letter). But, the timing of this tragedy has swept that dream out from under us. I keep thinking, "well, maybe they will still come together, for Liam's sake." But I just can't imagine One Direction without him. You turn on any given song, and the first voice you hear 8/10 times is Liam. He was such a key part of who they were as a band, it will never be the same.

The worst feeling to me, is that I don't feel like I can share this anywhere else but here. I can't post on my personal accounts like Facebook or snapchat because people will make fun of me. I was made fun of all my life for listening to silly little boy bands. Classmates would draw over their faces on my notebooks and tease me for my backpack.

I know I never got to meet him or see him in person. But that doesn't mean that he wasn't special to me. It would be no different if it had been Harry or Niall. I deserve the right to grieve a person that I looked up to as a child, that I admired and adored, without being scrutinized.

So, if you are reading this, please be kind. People are allowed to feel strongly about grief. Greif is different for everybody, and no one should ever feel ashamed for grieving. Show some love to the Directioners out there who are grieving silently like me.

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

I have not watched Rock of Ages but I after scrolling past your pinned post with the big claim 'i don't think i've ever seen a musician represented properly in media like this' a couple times I went fine. I'll bite. And watched Pour Some Sugar on Me. and oh my are you Correct. I hear this film kinda sucks. Tom Cruise shrugged and went well that won't stop me. and now just about every good musician movie ever has to live with the fact that they cannot attain to the entertainment value or realism or commentary on concert as performance that is the silly little song pour some sugar on me in the pretty bad film rock of ages.

Anon I am shaking your hand. Thank you for being so correct. That is exactly it. Rock of ages is in fact a pretty bad film and when you watch it you can sense the shame and resignation in every single actor’s performance—except for TC who really said maybe the movie sucks but I could never ✨💅  I love that he agreed to do the movie because he just really wanted to do a musical, of course he wanted to do a musical! the man is a performer and his style of camp is perfectly suited to the musical format! And like you pointed out with Stacee he leans heavily into the performer-playing-a-performer-playing-a (etc) aspect of the role, you can see in each song how he explores that aspect for Stacee in different ways. there’s of course a metanarrative element too, as a great admirer of TC I would never disrespect his craft by suggesting he’s basing Stacee off of himself, but when you’re watching a TC movie 99 times out of 100 in analysis you have to keep in mind that this character is played by Tom Cruise. Stacee Jaxx is a legendary performer played by a legendary performer. He has personas on personas on personas, so much mythos crammed into not a lot of screen time.

For this post I’ll just talk about pour some sugar on me cause you haven’t seen the movie anon but at some point I’m probably going to write a longer rant post about my thoughts on stacee’s arc as a whole

I loveeee the way the song functions in the movie because to me it’s the moment where it’s possible to understand Stacee for the first time. Stacee is fucking confusing in the beginning of the movie, TC’s performance makes him hard to parse and off putting, and then when you see him on stage at least for me there’s this sense of everything clicking into place...you understand how Stacee could be a rock god, and a sex god, and a reluctant sex god, and a burnout, because for the first time you realize that he is not primarily any one of those things. Primarily, he is just a damn good musician. In Pour Some Sugar on Me, I’m so struck by Stacee’s sheer effortless competence. I could write odes to TC’s physicality in that song, not just because he’s gorgeous (he is) but because of how routine it all looks. It’s clearly deeply ingrained in Stacee’s body to go through these motions, it's practiced to the point of instinct, it's controlled, it's beautiful, and he's completely invested in the performance to the exclusion of everything else. It’s obvious from watching him that there’s not a single thought in his head except perfect execution and the adrenaline and power rush that comes with it (I adore the manic gleam of his eyes when he sings ‘do you take sugar?’ not to mention the return of that expression at the end, when he seems dazed, completely out of it and totally satisfied). He's pure function. You understand for the first time that the point of Stacee Jaxx is not to be a human being, but to perform. 

It makes the “reluctant sex god” idea posed in the previous songs completely comprehensible, because despite how blatantly sexual the scene is, it's obvious that Stacee himself is not trying to seduce anyone. All the sexual parts of the performance are part of the performance. Part of the art form. Stacee showing personal sexual feeling onstage, or Stacee’s own relationship with sex interfering with the performance of sex he’s executing, would be the work of a lesser artist. Sex is on the program, so Stacee plays it! Incidentally, we see outside of that scene that Stacee the human, the person outside of the persona, doesn’t like sex at all—but for Stacee, fulfilling his own human wants and needs is not his primary purpose. His primary purpose is to be a damn good musician. That’s what he was made for, and it’s the only thing he’s good at.

Anyway i fucking love that scene and im. Shaking your hand so so hard it’s like a blur thank you for this ask thank you for watching the scene thank you

[svt-yexi]

I saw that you posted that Yexi took part in the Puppy Interview video, will you ever post about it? Asking for a friend.

Buzzfeed Puppy Interview: Yexi Edition

M: Mingyu | D: Dino | DK: DK | T8: The8 | Y: Yexi

Q: MBTI is currently trending in Korea right now, but how much do you know about your astrology charts?

Y: I know I'm a Sagittarius but that's pretty much the extent of it, but my mom could probably write an entire book with cited sources (laughs)

Q: What is your love language?

Y: Acts of Service, maybe?

M: I would say all of them

Y: I mean...I do like gifts (shrugs and laughs)

Q: What's the funniest Seventeen meme you've seen posted by Carats on the internet?

T8: Yexi collects them and puts them in the group chat

D: No one is safe

Y: Anything DK or Seungkwan related I guess because I have more of those two than anyone else in the group

DK: She'll even send some of herself

Y: I'm all about self-deprecation

Q: What would you want people to think of when they hear "Seventeen" 100 years from now?

Y: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely never been done before.

Buzzfeed: was that the Lady Gaga meme?

Y: Yes, but it's still my answer

Q: What would you name these puppies?

Y: (Points to each one) Mine. Mine. Mine. annnnnd Mine

Q: If you could speak to your teenage self, what would you say?

Y: Eat the extra helping because it won't be there with 13 boys around. Also, don't believe all the Korean translations your members tell you.

All: (Laughs)

D: That was one time!

Y: Maybe with you, but there were others

T8: You did it to me!

Y: Shhhhh, next question!

Q: Every member seems to be working out quite often. What's a must-have song for the gym playlist?

Y: Anything Seventeen, but lately it's probably Cheers and Hype Boy by New Jeans. Listen to them if you haven't!

Q: What are some songs from your older discography that you think newer Carats should listen to?

Y: All of them, next question.

All: (laughs)

Q: If you could only do dark or cute concepts for the rest of your career, which would you choose?

Y: Dark. I mean I like our cute concepts but some of my favorite performances are for our darker concepts.

Q: What phone app do you use the most?

Y: Melon and Youtube, I listen to a lot of music but when I just wanna relax I'll usually watch Youtube

M: You also watch a lot of Netflix

T8: You binged an entire show on the flight here

Y: Okay, fine, (laughs) Netflix too.

Q: Out of the foods you've tried so far while on tour, which one would you choose as your favorite?

Y: We usually eat Korean food on tour whenever we can (laughs) but whenever we come to California the first stop is always In-n-Out.

Q: You have to form a new unit! Who would you choose and what would you call it?

Y: Everyone here, the puppy unit (laughs)

D: Mingyu is our leader

T8: (laughs)

Y: Our unit is doomed.

M: Hey!

Q: Do you have any personal goals unrelated to Seventeen?

Y: I just want me and my members to live happily and stay healthy.

All: (noises of agreement)

Q: Carats have been getting creative with their concert signs. Are there any signs that stood out that you still remember?

Y: Honestly there are so many. We have a section in our concert before the encore where they pan into the audience and show their signs and I always sit and watch it as soon as I'm done changing. It's one of my favorite parts because we, unfortunately, can't see all of them.

D: if you try to change before Yexi she'll throw a fit because she hates missing it.

Q: What was the most difficult situation you faced during your debut?

Y: Being the only girl in our lineup definitely put a lot of pressure on me, I felt like I had to prove that I belonged in our group. There was a lot of doubt with the public, but eventually, I think I won people over with my hard work and charming personality.

M: Yexi brings a lot to the group that she hadn't had the chance to show in the beginning but now she's been able to show that not only can she perform but she can produce for Seventeen and others and even works with one of our members and our choreographer to make choreography for all of us.

T8: She's always worked really hard and I think she felt like she had the most to prove during our debut. Seventeen wouldn't be Seventeen without Yexi.

DK: In the beginning, she would stay after our official practice was over and would continue to practice even though she was still in school at the time.

D: We've always been proud of her.

Y: Awww guys, you're gonna make me cry!

Q: Which k-pop group would you want to see do the puppy interview next?

Y: Our other members for sure, I'm hoping I can talk one of them into letting me have one.

All: (laughs)

DK: Wonwoo will shut you down.

Y: I will sway him.... someday.

Taglist: @multiplums @giverosespls @sunflower-0180 @smoooore @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor @wcsterias

[poisoned-pearls]

TELL US ABT UR FANKIDS. I WANT TO KNWOW!!! :3

AHHH okay!! So

in this world nrc became coed around five years after the current first years graduated

Faraja is just Leona’s child (bc I don’t really ship him with anyone but it just felt right to have one), and she is very like, calm. And super in love with her girlfriend. Big defining trait right there bc she is a sunset savanna feminist. 1. Complétive spell drive champion and princess (though so far removed from the crown she doesn’t care anymore, bc when five people + would have to die for you to get the crown, including your own father, you kinda just. Stop paying attention to it) and 2. Dedicated girlfriend

Here are some of my doodles of her (including dad leona. He’s a history professor at a magic college and all of his students love him)

VIVIENNE is her girlfriend. I called her evie for shorthand until I had the time to look up an actual name. Yes it is after evie from descendants.

Viv is a musician who is definitely a bit of a nepo baby bc of vil, but she’s also definitely talented enough to hold her own without him. She plays guitar and keeps a crossbow on her at all times (imagine those gun thigh straps but magical folding crossbow instead of gun). they met as first years in savannaclaw, and the main reason she transferred was bc the old pomefiore housewarden was becoming a fourth year and REALLY needed someone to take over, so in a panic fueled haze went “hey your dad was a good housewarden, think you can fill in for me? Sorry what was that I gotta go on my internship now good luck with the dorm!!!-“ so she stepped in

(she does have a problem of dressing like a Christian college girl going on a mission trip every time she comes to the savanna tho.)

the entire reason I even thought of putting them together tho was bc I thought it’d be HILARIOUS for leona and vil to have to have the most AWKWARD “meet the parents” dinner EVER. NEITHER OF THEM WERE MADE AWARE BY THEIR CHILDREN BC NEITHER OF THEIR KIDS KNEW THEY HAD MAD BEEF IN HIGHSCHOOL

anyways by the time leona and vil figured it out it was #toolate. Their daughters were already together for a year and a half.

Nami is the first one I ever designed and thought out. She’s also the only one to have a named and fully thought out unique magic

she can speak 7 languages and way too many animal ones, has to go down to 8ths to explain most of her heritage (3/4th Japanese and 1/4italian azul and 1/2 Egyptian, 1/4 Arabian (my lore swap in word bc oh my fucking god agrabah is such a fucking headache. Orientalism is a bitch when it comes to historical research. What do you mean the live action is primarily Indian clothing but narration describes it being off of a river nowhere near that. India isn’t even NEAR an Arabian desert. That was way too much of a tangent- anyways) and 1/4th South Indian Jamil creates the most annoying white girl answer of “oh well ACTUALLY I’m 1/6th French 1/4th German-“ answer but not white.)

nami’s ultimate magic is called siren song. Anyone who hears her singing is made vunerable to her hypnotism. It is not active all of the time, and if someone is out of earshot the hypnotism wears off. She performs weekly concerts at school (which she is fully not supposed to do btw. If either of her dads heard abt it she’d get in trouble for the first time in her life SO FAST-) to get people used to hearing her sing. Just in case she needs to mass hypnotize the school, bc you never know-

nami has also had a serious escape artist problem since she was able to freely transform between her human and mer form (which I have more lore for, but I am making a diagram for that so that shall be a different post). She can and will get up on roofs, inside walls and vents, climb fences, poles, and generally anything. She was air tagged and gpsed by Jamil constantly (kalim was the predecessor), and that was only done to find her after the fact.

She was tossed around as a child like a divorced kid so Jamil could travel as much as he wanted. She’d go to school where azul was based (a fancy ass private school for kids who are like, 110% guaranteed to be mages so they had teachers who could handle it) and whenever she’d go to live with Jamil for a month Azul would just. Lie and say it’s a mermaid thing so she can’t be in person but she can do twst version of zoom- (also whenever she was being swapped the parent would fly with her to the other one. They also spent months together as a full unit and Jamil stopped traveling as much when she turned 11 but that is how she’s visited over 30ish countries)

(also just bc the teachers were trained to deal with magic doesn’t mean they were trained to deal with Nami: expert escape artist(tm). No one has succeeded in stopping her OTHER than when she was 7 and had a pole scaling problem, so Jamil slapped some leggings on her so she’d lose the grip her skin had. However this backfired when she just gained the ability to lift herself up with only her arms. A lot of her skills also have to do with her ability to withdraw her tentacles in like, a split second tho. She can pull out two and use octo strength to pull herself up or scale walls.)

she struggles with fears of falling short however. She feels like she can’t exactly beat expectations, only meet or fail them. It’s not like either of her parents put this pressure on herself, but when one parent was opening up a restaurant and the other was fully abt to stage a coup it’s kinda hard to beat that. She’s terrified of just being, average, bc to her, she should have everything to make her excellent.

She also is good at dancing and piano. She was that five year old who is better at piano than most adults. She also watches dramas with auntie Najma a lot. She is very close with Najma-

neo is my little cringe fail idikei kid. I love him so much he’s so funny to me. He’s immensely camera shy and suffers from high anxiety. He can however find out absolutely everything abt someone from a burner acc however.

absolute menace online. Nothing is safe from him. He doesn’t poss himself at ALL but best believe he knows everyone’s instas in the whole school. He does have access to crowleys search history just in case he ever needs blackmail

he also has a HUGE ass crush on Nami (she doesn’t reciprocate, bc she definitely sees him as a kid even tho he’s just a year younger (mainly bc she was the one who helped him adjust to being a housewarden)) bc he saw her, got SEVERELY intimidated by her, and then once she helped him adjust, he admired her. So he is very very awkward around her. He isn’t weird abt it with her tho. He would literally rather die than weird her out, bc that is his IDOL/hj. He thinks she’s very pretty as well. The other first years use this to their advantage to get him to come do things with them

those are the most like, thought out and complete ones I have for now-. Samir is kinda just a vibe and not much of a fleshed out character and the rest need legit names before I can confidently talk abt them, BUT rest assured I have MANY thoughts abt them

[blankticket]

.📻🍳🐯🌙

📻 = What music genre do the mun and muse listen to the most? Any favorite bands?

my favorite band of all time is sleigh bells, has been for something like 14 years. i have so much to say about them… anyway, i've been listening to lauren bousfield a lot since last year around the same time stampede started airing; even now i listen to palimpsest and salesforce a Lot i listen to quite a mix of genres [here's my topsters list for albums], but to try and put it in broad strokes to answer the 'genre' thing… it seems like i like listening to music with distorted vocals, very maximalist songs with more emphasis on making you feel something than being the most eloquent and efficient with the lyrics.

i like vgm and witch house and jungle and any sound at all that makes me feel something.

i think i answered an earlier ask about stamps liking noise and understanding the scene—that people can and will dance to it because music is something that makes you feel something even if it doesn't have an orthodox melody/rhythm/etc. given the novelty of it and the openmindedness that vash tends to have i think he'd do fine with experimental, noise, etc. sorta genres; i don't think there'd be any genre he'd hear and have it be the sonic equivalent of giving a caveman a warhead candy or whatever.

but i also think that vash would particularly love live music, from concerts to just someone chilling out outside with an out of tune guitar, covering a rock song to kill some time.

sure he's got that radio/music player he keeps around, but i think he'd gladly take those earbuds out if he hears a friend humming or whistling or notices the wind picking up and nudging against windchimes or howling through metal structures.

he's used to living a life where you can't really stay put, and have to find meaning out of the little things. sometimes they require for you to focus on them, sometimes they make you stop and listen

🍳 = What are the mun’s and muse’s favorite foods?

i talked about liking pistachios (especially with whatever chocolate i have on hand) as a snack earlier. i'm also a big fan of anything and everything cotton candy, especially ice cream. i am allergic to a Lot of things, but if i were to only eat what i'm not allergic to, i'd easily get malnourished. my favorite fruit's strawberries (which i'm allergic to…..), although! i'm Not allergic to any kinda seafood, which is fantastic news for me given how much i love seafood :3 especially mussels and octopus! i've only eaten oysters once but i did enjoy how its just like eating a mouthful of solidified seawater

i'm filipino-chinese and have been pretty blessed w/availability of respective cuisine; favorite soup is sinigang, which is wonderfully sour and brings me a lotta comfort. could fuck up some sisig or bicol express any day. i've only ever had spaghetti of the filipino kind, and prefer my lemonade to be the kind made with calamansi.

favorite dessert is leche flan (the filipino kind's a lot denser, with more egg yolk and condensed milk). a lot of my birthday cakes were either goldilocks or red ribbon (bakery brands) mango cakes or mocha cakes lol. even now it still Is the go-to for any celebratory cake

ougghh peking duck and yangchow fried rice make me forget about all my problems in life… i'm also very happy to be at any dim sum place especially if i can get cantonese siomai or that one dish that's like chao tom but in Ball Form… egg tarts and mango pudding… dude i will be so happy. i will be SO happy

anyway i also talked about stamps liking oranges and orange juice! the rest of the food that was on the table for the twins' first birthday… looks kinda bland honestly lol. but, it makes me think that stamps would probably find space food to be nostalgic! i'm sure he's also grateful that Plants know how to produce[?!] pizza??

my interpretation of vash has a pretty big sweet tooth, and indulges it with fruit and desserts and pastries. although i've had him enjoy donuts as a nod to his other counterparts, i've also had him express that his favorite kind of donut is "assorted", LOL.

so i imagine him to be a lot less picky about his food given his circumstances, but i think that also comes with him not having too many "favorites", and there's still plenty of firsts he needs to try out here in spirale where it's possible! he's probably especially excited about what human food engineering's come up with, so any food that has that sort of novelty to it (like the whole miracle fruit thing, or spicy ice cream) has a particular appeal to him.

🐯 = What animals would best be associated with the mun and muse?

with me… well, besides mice and rats (due to being quite attached to my zodiac sign lol) i don't have any other super strong animal associations w/myself, they're all mostly bugs or fictitious animals LOL. online quizzes have given me killer whales and polar bears. i had a sick-ass dream about falconry once?? i guess if i had to pick, then it'd be hummingbirds! or maybe pigeons… wow! my answers all over the place

for vash… i did make him a ptarmigan for endless aurora. he chose those dudes 'cause he mistook them for doves LOL. i wonder what kind of bird call is used in the full version of TOMBI? kinda wanna say that's an eagle

suppose there's a little bit of lamb association with vash, given wolfwood's mission with him and the biblical stuff goin on over there. then there's also the namesake! i keep forgetting to make stamps buy a highland cow plushie wearin heart shades for maxvash and calling that guy the 'third vash' [or 'fourth vash', if we're counting spamton as an honorary vash?]

🌙 = Are the mun and muse more morning, day, or night people? When are they the most relaxed? When do they get the most work done?

i stay up too late and have a very erratic sleep pattern. daytime and sunsets make me the happiest, but sometimes mornings and nighttime's the only times of day where it's cold enough and quiet enough to Think. i dont have a phobia of the dark and i can sleep at any hour of the day so theres no real time of day that i dislike, at least

vash strikes me as a morning person… sorta. i think he sleeps more if he hasn't been eating hence all the dozing he does on-screen even when it's like the middle of the day, with his mood apparently remaining unaffected. i also know he's had to tend to animals & worked tirelessly hard as a Plant engineer. he doesn't ever seem to be disturbed by the heat that two suns bring on or by the chill of the desert-planet night, so i could see him be pretty adaptable himself.

i think the only reason he'd feel anxious about nighttime is bc a lot of terrible things (the Big Fall, the destruction of Jeneora Rock, the attack on the Humpback, the night of 7/21, etc) tend to happen then. which incidentally is part of why i made his giant challenge occur in the morning last summer; i'm mean, and i don't think he should get to feel safe from the horrors just because the sun's up

[earlyblackparade]

Ray Toro of My Chemical Romance

July 16, 2007 | Lisa Sharken | seymourduncan.com

Meet Ray Toro, guitarist with New Jersey’s red-hot alternative punk-pop rocker group, My Chemical Romance. We had the chance for a long distance chat before MCR hit the stage in Germany to support its highly acclaimed new disc, The Black Parade. In just a few short years that included lots of touring and self-promotion, MCR quickly grew from a local indie sensation to an international phenomenon with a loyal and ever-increasing fan base.

Toro filled us in on what inspired him during his formative years as a musician and detailed the gear he uses live. We also got the scoop on how MCR crafted its monstrous guitar tones in the studio and what’s in store for the group in 2007. There’s a lot to look forward to and no doubt that we’ll be hearing a great deal more from these Jersey boys. The future is looking bright and seems to hold even greater success for this very promising new band!

Which players had the greatest influence on your musical style? My two biggest influences have always been Randy Rhoads and Brian May. I was a fan of Randy Rhoads because he was one of the first players I can remember who mixed classical music with a metal and hard rock style of playing, and he did it very tastefully. It was really inspiring. “Dee” was just so moving because he wrote it for his mother and it was a classically-influenced piece. What I like about Brian May is that he views the guitar like an orchestra. His guitar playing is very symphonic. I’m just a huge fan of how he layers and harmonizes things like an arranger or a conductor. A little later, probably because of Randy Rhoads’ influence, I started listening to classical guitarists like Andrès Segovia and Christopher Parkening. I was obsessed with the way they would take classical pieces and arrange them for a single guitar with the way they have moving melody and bass lines that work together. Segovia was one of the guys who made classical guitar a respected instrument. When guitarists first started playing like that it wasn’t really looked upon as artistic. He traveled the world and was a champion for having classical guitar recognized as a concert instrument. Parkening was Segovia’s student and he carried on his legacy.

Have your listening tastes changed? Do you still listen to the music that influenced you when you started? Yes. I don’t listen to much new stuff. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a music snob. I think that I’ve always been very careful about listening to current music and being influenced by it. I’m afraid of stealing stuff from it. But there are a couple of new bands that I like, Muse being one of them. I love Muse. They have great guitar work and great songwriting. They’re one of the few new bands that I can listen to nowadays. But pretty much, I just listen to the same stuff I used to listen to when I was younger.

With older music, do you tend to pick out things you hadn’t noticed before when you listen now? Yes. That’s the best thing about music. Depending on what situation you’re in when you’re listening, you’re just in a certain head space and you’ll pick up on little things that you never heard before, especially when you’re listening to stuff like Queen or Pink Floyd. You’ll pick out things like harmonies or nuances in the guitar playing or singing, or you’ll hear little mistakes. I recently listened to Led Zeppelin and noticed that sometimes Jimmy Page’s guitar was going out of tune while they were recording, but it adds character. If you listen to “Stairway To Heaven,” you’ll hear how he’s doubling certain things on an acoustic guitar and he’s playing the same thing on an electric, and it’s panned left to right. These are things that I never used to pick up on when I was younger. But now I can hear those things and it gives me a different appreciation for the music.

When you had first heard these songs, was it on vinyl or CD? Most of the time you never could hear those very fine details as clearly on the original vinyl records as you could on remastered CDs, or even on the original version CDs. You’re right. The first time I listened to stuff like Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Queen it was actually through my older brother and he had all this on vinyl. He was a huge influence on me and he was the one who showed me how to play guitar. He bought me my first real guitar and he introduced me to all that stuff. He introduced me to bands like Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors, and also Motley Crue and Metallica. So he was my gateway into guitar playing and those styles of music.

Let’s talk about your gear. What are you currently using live? Right now I’m using Marshall JCM 2000s® the DSL100 with two 1960A cabinets. I don’t use many pedals. I’m very basic. I just have a Dunlop Crybaby wah, Boss EQ pedal, Boss Pitch Shifter to do harmonies, Boss Chorus Ensemble, and Electro-Harmonix POG Polyphonic Octave Generator, which you can set up to play one octave below, an octave above, or two octaves above. You can make your guitar sound like a Hammond B3 organ when you use that in combination with the chorus pedal. It’s a really cool pedal. My main guitar right now is a Gibson Les Paul Standard that I think is either from ’91 or ’93 which I picked up while on tour. I have Seymour Duncan Phat Cat (SPH90-1) P90-style pickups in it which are the size of a humbucker. They’re amazing. I’m really psyched about them. I have another Les Paul Standard which is probably from ’93 and it has a Seymour Duncan JB (SH-4) in the bridge position and the neck pickup is whatever came on the guitar. My brother was the person who had turned me onto the JB. It was the first after market pickup I bought because he said that I had to get a Seymour Duncan JB!

What do you like most about your Duncan pickups and what types of tones do you go for with each of them? For the Phat Cats, I call it a “meat and potatoes” tone. It’s very thick and punchy, just in the right spots. I use the guitar with the JB for songs that need a little more edge and more gain. The JB has a hotter tone and more gain than I get with the Phat Cats. It works really well for songs that are a little more riffy. A lot of our older material has more riffing going on with lots of single-note picked riffs, and there’s a lot more playing. On the new stuff, the guitar parts are a bit more simple. There are more chugging power chords and things like that. I find that the Phat Cats are better for that kind of stuff and I use the JB for the more shredding songs.

How are your guitars set up? The action is not too low or too high. It’s at that sweet point. I’ve never been a fan of guitars with really low action. I know it can help you play faster, and I get that aspect of it, but you don’t feel like you’re playing. You can’t dig in. It feels almost too easy. As far as strings, I use .011-.052 S.I.T. strings. For picks, I’ve always used Dunlop black nylon 1 mm picks. I think that’s what my brother used and I’ve used them since I started playing guitar.

How do you and Frank Iero [MCR guitarist] differ as players? What are the most recognizable characteristics you each possess? I’m more of a technical player. On the records, I play all the solos. I’m more into the harmonization of parts, so the harmonized leads on the records are usually me. I guess that’s what I bring to the band and my metal influence. Frank is kind of the counter to that. He’s very rhythmic in his playing and his lines. He plays all of the octave runs and the choruses, and the counter melodies to the main rhythm parts in the verses are his. The way he writes is very linked with what the vocals are doing. He listens very closely to what Gerard [Way, MCR vocalist] is doing and he finds a way to reinforce the melodies that Gerard is singing, but he adds some of his own things to it that either harmonize with what Gerard is doing vocally or with what I’m doing. He finds a really cool way of just fitting in the mix and hitting melodies that your ear wants to hear that fills in those gaps. He’s really good at coming up with very cool melodic lines on the verses and choruses. It’s a cool relationship that we have. Technically, he plays more of the leads, in a sense, and I play the rhythms, but I’m playing more of the leads in a solo sense. It’s just very different depending on which song it is and we do whatever works best for the song.

Did your studio rig for recording The Black Parade differ much from the gear you use live? We used the guitars we play live as our main guitars in the studio. I’m not a big gearhead. I go more on feel and I’m used to the way that my guitar feels. I’m comfortable with it, so that’s what I used predominantly for the whole record, unless there were certain songs or parts that called for different tones that my guitar just didn’t sound right for. The main guitar I used was the Les Paul with Phat Cats. When we went into preproduction in Los Angeles, my DSL100 that I use live broke down. So [producer] Rob Cavallo let me borrow a 100 watt Marshall JCM 800 series head which was the loudest and ballsiest amp I’ve ever heard. Since it sounded so good in preproduction, we used it on the recording. I’m not sure what model cabinet we were running it through, but it was a Marshall. That was the main setup. On occasion when we were going for different textures, like throwing in an Electro-Harmonix Big Muff or another distortion pedal, or any other kinds of effects, we usually ran it through a Hiwatt head. That was pretty much it. We tried to stick to the basics and not get too crazy. We did use a Roland midi guitar synthesizer for all sorts of cool sounds. We used that any time there was a heavier riff on the record. We usually doubled it two octaves lower than the actual note. A lot of the stuff you’re hearing is just straight guitar tones that are very layered. On certain songs, like “The End,” which is the intro to the record, when the tone gets really heavy and the single-note riff comes in, we stacked it by tracking the lowest octave on the guitar to the highest. It’s that Brian May-type mentality of making the guitars very symphonic. Once in a while there’s a chorus pedal or a phaser, but we’re not a very heavy effects-driven band. We like to plug straight into the amp and go. Rob has a huge collection of stompboxes and that’s how we were introduced to the POG. He’s got tons of vintage guitars too, and we used a few of them. For clean verses, like on “Mama” and “I Don’t Love You,” we were using one of his Teles. I think I used one of his Strats for the solo in “I Don’t Love You.” So we did use other guitars for certain parts, but the guitars we play live were the main ones used to record.

Using your own guitars also makes it a bit easier to recreate the sounds on the record when you go out to play the songs live. Yes. And like I said, for me, the most important thing is being comfortable. Obviously, every guitar plays different and you just get used to how certain guitars feel. I think that when you’re comfortable with the guitar that you’re playing, you’ll play better.

Do you have any particular favorite tracks from the album? My two favorite tracks are “Welcome To The Black Parade” and “Famous Last Words.” “Welcome To The Black Parade” is like our “Bohemian Rhapsody.” It’s probably the most epic song on the record. I love how it came together. It’s a song that we had been writing since the start of the band, but it started out in a very different form. It started out very similar to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way,” which sounds really weird as a comparison. It was very slow and very chordal-based. The melody that Gerard would sing and just his style of singing was, well the closest thing it sounded like to to us was “My Way.” And it used to be called “The Five Of Us Are Dying.” It didn’t make our first indie record because we just didn’t have the time to finish it. We brought it back for Revenge, and it was another situation where it just wasn’t feeling right. So it didn’t make that record. Then it was one of the first things we looked at when we started writing this record. If a song didn’t work for the first or second record, we like to go back and revisit it because sometimes you just don’t have it in you to write the song at that particular time. That song had about five or six different movements and the closest thing I could relate it to is Green Day’s “Jesus Of Suburbia,” where you have all these different parts of a song which all work together. When we moved to LA to work on the record, we decided that the song still wasn’t working, so we tried adding that fast punk beat and then it felt really good. We tracked the whole thing and then Gerard felt that the lyrics weren’t saying anything to him, and neither was the chorus. So we changed a few things. What’s really cool when you write music is sometimes all you have to do is change a chord progression and that completely changes the face of the song. So we basically just changed one note in the chorus and it let Gerard go somewhere else that he wouldn’t have gone, and that’s where the hook of the song came from. I just have very fond memories of that song because it started out in a completely different form. It’s been a part of this band for five years, and it took that long to really finish the song and define what it truly was about. Then on top of that, the song was just so much fun to record with all the horns, the piano, backing vocals, and do all the layering with the parts. It was a very complex and fun song to record. Five years ago we would never have thought that the song would have ended up becoming what it did. “Famous Last Words” is another of my favorites because lyrically and musically, it’s not one of the most uplifting songs on the record. I just think the song is very powerful. It’s a little simpler than “Black Parade” in a sense, but it has those same movements. It starts out very small with just the vocal and single guitar, then it grows from there and gets to this apex, then breaks down again only to get brought back up. That was one of my favorite songs to write and record. It was written very late in the writing process, and at a very hard time. I think that the song is an example of showing things that the band went through because we went through some hard times and ended up coming out on top. When I listen to it now, it makes me think of that period in the recording process.

The band has grown so much in a short time and achieved a great deal of acclaim, particularly with this album. The band has always moved very fast, even from the beginning when it was just three of us. We’ve always found ourselves in these situations where it was “put up or shut up.” I guess it’s just our attitude and where we come from as people, and what we’ve gone through growing up. We just never quit and we work our asses off. That’s what we have always done. So things have moved fast, but for us it’s like a lifetime of work. As far as the musical side of things, I think this band tends to think one or two records ahead into the future. There was a time before we started writing for The Black Parade, when we were almost writing the album that should have come out after Revenge. A lot of the songs were similar feeling and similar sounding to what we did on Revenge, and a lot of that got scrapped once we really started writing for The Black Parade. After we had written “The End” into “Dead!,” we would rehearse them and we linked those two songs together. We knew they didn’t feel like anything we had done before. We thought that those songs raised the bar for us, and a lot of the songs that we had been writing on tour and some of the songs that were written while we were in New York got scrapped after that because they didn’t measure up. The writing process was fun because we were always trying to match what we had done the week before or even surpass it. We always try to top ourselves, and not only in albums, but also from song to song.

Has touring become more exciting for the band this time around? You spend so many months writing and recording the record, and during that time the record is just yours. It’s the band’s and just the four or five guys who worked on the recording. You sometimes play it for select people, but no one actually has a copy to take home and listen to. What’s great is that finally after six or seven months of writing and recording, the record is now out there “living” and being a part of peoples’ lives. To finally be able to play those songs live for people, it’s just the best. Our fans have been awesome and just super supportive through all of this. They’re excited to hear new stuff. But we’ve never been in this position before because when we wrote Revenge we were a very small indie band and no one was really excited for Revenge to come out. We built it up to where it got, but when that album came out there weren’t many people who were excited, and we built it from there. It was completely different from this experience where we’ve now built up a fan base and they are excited to hear the new music. So it was very nerve wracking because you want people to appreciate what you did — what you worked hard for and worked hard on. The fans have been awesome and we’re finding that they are singing the new songs louder than the older stuff at the shows. It’s that support and an over all sense from people that they really love the new record. It just feels great to go out there and play these songs for people.

What does the band have planned for 2007 and what are you looking forward to most in the coming year? We’ll be touring more and more in 2007. Right now we’re doing smaller shows just to get our feet wet and play live. We were off for so long recording that it takes a while to get back in shape and you just want to ease into it. It’s been cool to get reacquainted with the fans and reacquainted with playing live. Next year is when we’re going to step up the show a notch and bring out more production, so the shows will be bigger and the songs will feel bigger. Right now we’re playing the songs a little more stripped down than we would like, but it’s just to get reacquainted and get back into playing live. In 2007 we’re going to play a lot of parts of the world where we’ve never been before. Playing your first show in a new country is the most exciting thing, and that excitement never goes away. There are a lot of places where we haven’t played yet, so I think that’s what I’m most looking forward to.

Tell us about what you recall to have been your most memorable gig or gigs with the band so far. On this tour, the first show that we played was in Bournemouth, England. It’s a pretty cool place and that gig was awesome. We had such a great time and it was nice to get back and play real shows again. We had been doing a lot of tv and radio performances leading up to the release of the record, and then after that as well. But those performances just didn’t feel like real shows. It was maybe one or two songs, or even if we played a full set, the place was lit for tv so I couldn’t get into the vibe of those shows. So this gig in Bournemouth was the first show we played in a while where it was a real My Chem show, and it felt great to play the old songs again and to finally play the new material. The audience was really great and it was a lot of fun to get back out there. As far as past memorable gigs, we played Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey, which was just awesome. I used to go to shows there all the time there to see my favorite bands like Metallica. My brother took me to that show and it was just incredible. To play places like that, those are the shows that usually go down in my memory as my favorites — when you have a direct connection to that venue or that city, it makes it just that much more special.

I’m sure there were a lot of hometown people there who were cheering you on. Yes. Our families usually end up being the loudest people in the crowd.

That can sometimes make you even more nervous compared to playing in front of people you don’t know. It is true because you definitely want to play your best and give them a good show. That’s usually what you’re thinking about. But it’s distracting when you’re looking out in the crowd and trying to find your family and all the people you know.

What advice would you give to other players who are trying to create their own identity in a two-guitar band? The best way to create your own style is to just be yourself. You can be influenced by what other people do and take the little bits that you like from the different players that you appreciate, but never completely cop someone’s style. Put your own flavor to it. Play what makes you feel good and that’s how you develop your own style. One of the fun things about playing with another guitarist is working on parts together. It’s kind of what music is about — working together as a team. When two guitar players can bring in what they do, make it bigger and better, learn from each other and influence each other, that’s a cool thing. Frank and I have been able to do that and we’ve kind of rubbed off on each other. It’s great to have that experience and it helps you to grow as a musician.

For the latest news on My Chemical Romance and updated tour information, visit the band’s official website at www.mychemicalromance.com.

[theflyingfeeling]

Heey, I wanna know more about your relationship with Blind Channel, if you're willing to discuss it hehe. I don't know the band besides the things you post, but you seem really invested and I'm wondering what's behind all that love! Asking because I find it's so interesting getting to know how band managed to lure such an active fan!

Hey! Of COURSE I'm willing to discuss Blind Channel, that's what I do!! 😅 I wasn't expecting this ask to come form YOU though, of all my mutuals, but I'm happy to answer!

I don't know how much you know about Eurovision Song Contest, but Blind Channel representing Finland in it in 2021 was what started it all (I can't remember hearing about them before that, but then again I'm not really following the Finnish music scene). I really liked their Eurovision song but it took me a while to listen to their other songs. I guess I was scared I might not like them that much, because by the time I finally did I had already become invested with the band because I had seen all that funny pre-Eurovision content they had made and absolutely fallen in love with them as people. I guess that's my first bullet point on the long list of reasons why:

Their personalities. There are six guys in the band, and they're all such lovable, down-to-earth people that it's hard not to love them. They're honest in what they say (which is what they were praised for during the Eurovision), they're genuine, and what I perhaps like the most is that they're very clearly their own, individual persons. I mean, everyone is, of course, but I think with Blind Channel it's even more striking how different they all are from each other, although some of them do also share certain personality traits.

Their passion. I absolutely love listening to them talk about their music, because with every word they say it's obvious how much they love what they do, despite the many (many!) hardships they have faced over the years. They're so ambitious, but not in an arrogant way; they know exactly where they are currently, where they want to be, and how they're gonna get there. The other lead singer Joel in particular (the one with the long blond hair) has made me tear up with his passion for music and the band. Whenever he talks about Blind Channel, you can just tell the band means the absolute world to him. In the end of the final track of their latest album there are clips from their first ever interview from almost 10 years ago, and Joel saying "the best thing about being in a band is everything, every single second" made me cry my eyes out for the first five consecutive times I listened to the song (yes, I actually listened to the song five times in a row the first time around haha), and I still remember back in 2021 I was watching and interview in which he said, when asked if they have someone taking care of their social media, that they want to do all that stuff themselves, because they want the content they give their fans to be as authentic as possible. I literally teared up at that moment, and it was also the moment I decided I need to see them live. Which leads us to my third point...

Their live shows. All the other concerts I had been to before my first BC concert had left me...underwhelmed, in a way? I was always so uncomfortable with all the people (sometimes drunken) shoving me around or screaming to my ear; I often felt like I would've been much better off just listening to the songs in the safety of my apartment lol. But then I went to a Blind Channel show and oh my god I was addicted. Their energy on stage is unmatched, top tier, and other praise words. They're so much fun to look at, because they're all so into it, all of them, not just the singers. In so many bands the guitarist and the bassist are literally just doing their job of strumming the strings while showing no emotion whatsoever, and if that's how they prefer it, I'm not gonna judge them for it, but Blind Channel has a whole choreography for their shows and seeing how into the music they are makes you so much more into the music as well. I especially love watching the bassist Olli on stage; he interacts with the audience quite a bit (a lot more in comparison to the guitarist Joonas who's very into his instrument most of the time), and if you're close enough to the stage, it's so much fun just watching him vibe with the music with the most blissful expression on his face 🥺 He really is in his element on stage - they all are! But with Olli it's a little different, because off stage he appears pretty shy and quiet; on stage he's anything but, and it's always so amazing to see that. In addition, they have so many great songs that are meant to be sung as loud as you can, and doing so surrounded by like-minded people is the best fun you've ever had 🖤 (particularly if there's a separate over-18 section in the audience, as the kids can get a little...intense sometimes 😂 (their fanbase in the motherland is quite young))

Sometimes I myself wonder what the hell actually happened that I became this invested with a band, especially because it's been over 10 years since the last time that happened 🙈 But honestly speaking, I'm so glad I did, because if it wasn't for Blind Channel, I have no idea what I would be doing with my freetime. I had no idea what would be my main source of serotonin if it wasn't for them, or whether I'd have fallen further down in the dumps. I'm scared to even think about it.

And like, by now it's not only about the six dudes in the band and the songs they make, but also about all the incredibly sweet people I have met through them. I don't really have that many friends, but thanks to Blind Channel I now have all these super adorable people in my life who always manage to pull me back up when I feel like I'm drowning, and that's something really fucking beautiful, you know? I will forever be thankful for Blind Channel for giving me all these amazing friends and experiences that I otherwise would've missed.