#me dealing with my depression

[hinamie]

もう一回、もう一回

[poppy-s-rampage]

Once a Hero.

-Prologue-

Danny Phantom fought with the knowledge that at any given time he could be stricken dead. With the knowledge that his own parents, the people who brought him into this world, could be the ones to take him out permanently. The Job was already half done after all.

But no matter what, no matter his adversaries, Danny held strong. Despite the constant threat of the GIW and his parents, despites his rogues’ shenanigans and Vlad’s scheming, despite the citizen’s ungratefulness, he held his ground. Always staying true to his beliefs.

Yes, he made mistakes ,terrible ones. Yes, he has done things he would forever be ashamed of. But he never let others take responsibility for his actions. The very proof being his existence as Phantom.

There is no denying it, Danny Phantom/Fenton is a hero.

An existence to whom every victory comes hand to hand with tragedy.

An existence favored by fate.

And fate is known to be a cruel mistress.

~~~

He should have known something was up. It was too good to be true. He should have trusted his instinct. But he ignored it, choosing hope instead of the very thing that kept him alive all these years. All it took was one mistake for everything to domino into a nuclear warhead that quite literally took his everything.

And now, there he is on all four in the middle of a crater of what once was Amity Park and its surroundings. His ears ringing only able to hear the sounds of his own screams.

The once menace, once protector of a city too soon departed wailed in agony. Clutching at his wounds with a strength that reopened his sloppily made stitches. His devastated wails, only interrupted by his sobbed breath and hiccups. His throat was ripped to shreds, tainted ectoplasm pooling into his mouth and lungs while some got projected out with each wail.

Rivers of tears cascaded down his face burning his already bloodshot eyes. His unstable form glitching from ghost to human to something in between.

His once healthy balanced core was now struggling to remain whole. Cracks appearing all over, life and death fighting to preserve their precious Halfa’s existence. Danny felt his body and core beginning to give out. His consciousness finally fading. His body slowly being engulfed into the cold familiar embrace of death.

He fell on his back. His wails dying to choked wet sobs and coughs. Through his tears, Danny could only vaguely see the smoke covered nightsky. Ash falling slowly around him like snowflakes.

He could feel the cold creeping up his limbs then gripping his chest. His already dying heart being embraced by a type of cold even his core couldn’t dream to reproduce. Phantom finally fell silent, his unseeing eyes staring at the starless sky above.

Danny in his last few coherent thoughts felt the pain of his core shattering and reforming itself. It felt like his entire being was set on fire before being melded back together. He felt familiar arms cradling him close to their unbeating heart. The familiar ticking of a clock luring him into a dreamless rest.

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Masterpost!

Chapter 1!

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Author notes:

My brain vomiting this at 3 am. I am sorry for any catastrophic grammar and english, that would be my brain short circuiting from lack of sleep. I intend to hopefully continue this story wherever it may go. You’re welcome to suggest anything or add yourself something to it.

[p41nkillers]

'i oNLy tAkE a siP aT cHuRCh' but then they found ur secret wine bc youre secretly an alcoholic-

[daynightshipping]

He would never hate me for my mental illnesses and brain being fucked up and needing reassurance constantly,,

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[mamawasatesttube]

timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done

[infernal-lamb]

Hey, I've seen your drawings from Neves. They are brilliant. I like her a lot, and are you writing fanfic about her?

Ahh thank you!!! That's really flattering fkljgfjf....It's always a pleasant surprise that people like Neves :'-) (and I love when I get an excuse to post my doodles of her and the Lamb lol)

I am in the works of trying to write a cotl fanfic abt this specific au (I call it The Apostate & The Martyr in my head lol), but writing doesn't come as easily as drawing to me SIGH. I've actually written quite a bit, but the problem is putting all these random excerpts together to make something coherent LOL. But yes, the fic is intended to be the story of The Lamb and Neves' friendship amidst the brutality and terror of the Lands of the Old Faith, how to deal with the consequences of their choices, and the mutual alienation they experience in their positions....as silly as that sounds lol. It's very self-indulgent! I just liked the concept of the "Outsider" POV, so to speak, being subjected to the sort of normalized violence that exists in cotl. Though, I might end up just making comics if I can't pan out this fanfic well enough!

[sainteclectic]

I ❤️ giving characters self harm scars in casual art i ❤️ the portrayal of scars as a neutral thing if you draw characters with sh scars I am frolicking in the fields with you

[pansyfemme]

im praying for the day that someone other than me will actually admit that im too much work. i so desire someone to actually say those words because we all know its true

[tordlover]

bacondonut is back baby !!! 🥓🍩

[fanonimus]

My brother is obsessed with TTG, and I am baffled. We binged it, and I looked around in the... Fandom? I know the show is lighthearted, but I'm a psychology nerd.

Tw: Abuse, neglect, shitty people in general, mind conzrol and trauma. Progress with caution.

Not many people talk about the abuse Robin faces. I don't understand why is there basicaly no angsty content.

I also want to scoop that boy up and hug him and take him away from those people that surround him.

This boy has no positive influence in his life. Get him a therapyst.

He's neglected. I was sick watching this.

WHAT THE HELL DUDE this was genuinely hard to watch, and even the colour coded idiots aknowledge how badly he was treated.

Oh but they don't get away scott free. The little idiots.

They constantly hurt him (which I noticed is a reocurring joke, but it happens to him so constantly that it's not even humour. It's just... painful.)

What the fuck was that prank?

Considering I know his backstory pretty well (look, I watch enough dc), this prank just makes me want to cry. He smiles. His smile broke my heart. I genuinely started crying, alonside Robin. It was not a nice experience.

So they clearly don't have a problem with triggering traumatic responses.

Robin is also almost always the butt of the joke, even tough he is the leader nobody respects him.

Which would be understandable if he didn't try his damn hardest. He's resourceful and can make the best of a situation.

Like the time he got dance powers (which is just amazing, holy shit I want dance powers).

He found great use of an othervise "useless" pover.

Speaking of useless, his "friends" look down on him because he has no powers. Even though he is capable of beating all of them without it.

Yknow, like in the movie.

Oh yeah, nice recall to the movie the one where they competed with the Super Hero Girls team (love that show).

Y'know, where it started like this

And ended like this in like, five seconds.

Abandonment issues go brrr:

He's my angsty boy.

Also, the fact that he answered mind control on the last question, and it wasn't even on the board, broke something in me.

Him being a "control freak" is also played up for jokes, which I personally hate, but you can also go with the route of the Titans just not listening, ever, and Robin, still raised by the batman even if differently than in canon, in a city where if you are not on top you are dead, it's obvious that he developed an instictive need for control. He had gotten used to being on top of every situation, so when he felt that control slip, he grasped it and held on. This behaviour is not good, but he can't help it, and without proper consuling, he won't be able to stop this behaviour. He could, if he just let go of the illusion of control he clings to, a safety net, and we all know one can not simply just do that.

(I was someone people called a "control freak". I worked on myself, and I changed, but it took years after I noticed. Letting go is the hardest thing people like me and him can do because letting go means losing control, and that can be the scariest thing in the world. So I have experience, yes.)

(Yes, I also have experience. No, I am not going to talk about it, but it wasn't physical, don't worry)

For the hitting... Wild hot take and shit: Since Batsy was not a stellar dad, he kept robin in line by means not so family-friendly. (He hit his kids in canon, it's really OOC for him, but we have proof that happened) And it was really effective. Children of abusive parents go a lot of ways, but repeating the parents' mistakes is one of them. So maybe Robin decided that violence might be the thing to keep his teammates in line. (We are circleing back yeah.) But it clearly didn't work.

Edit: Holy shit I just realized that this Robin is all of the worst qualities of the other Robins. Obsessive, Controlling, full of himself, violent, and then throw their insecurities into there too (Abandonment issues, parental issues, anxiety, paranoia). Holy lady.

Edit2: Thank you, Yurki-posts, for pointing out some things my little rant was missing. I shall update it now.

[rosekasa]

creating for a fandom from teenage years to adulthood is so special because you can see where your subconscious was through the history of your works

[rambrandt-the-painter]

been having an ehhhhh time with art and this isnt great but i think shes really cute when i draw her like this

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[callmebrutus]

try to be normal thinking about qpac challenge failed.

all his life he had to prioritise others and put himself aback. he didn't have the right to be selfish.

he's just a child who had to grow up too fast. he's just an imperfect selfish egoistic little human who wants to be loved. who wants attention. who wants to be seen.

he can't help himself but to flirt and roam around because he NEEDS it. he's never enough. he wants more and more.

and oh how he hates himself for it. because how could he? how could he betray fit so easily? he feels so sorry.

he feels DIRTY.

he feels like Judas.

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed