#me about every other mcr song: this song gets me in a way that no other song gets me!!!!!!!!!

[joanofarcisdead]

listening to the studio version of "fake your death" and realizing that each part of the band is so, so deeply showcased in it: the riffs from ray singing alongside gerard, the thrumming baseline from mikey, the strum off the cords from frank - it was all meant as a swan song final goodbye, a showcase of what mcr could do at its best, now that, it seemed, the best years were behind them

and so how fitting to perform it at the last night of their kia forum residency, a kind of goodbye, but a hello again, at the same time

[earlycuntsets]

"DEATH COMES RIPPING" - SPOOKY ISSUE

'THE BLACK PARADE, THE TRIUMPHANT NEW ALBUM BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE MAY HAVE A TRAGIC STORYLINE, BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED WITH WHAT THE BANDMATES ENDURED TO BRING THE DISC TO LIGHT

PHOTOS BY JON WIEDERHORN PHOTOS BY JUSTIN BORUCKI

STANDING ON A BALCONY nine floors above the teeming streets of New York, Gerard Way overlooks the city in which My Chemical Romance began assembling their ambitious new album, The Black Parade. The newly peroxide- blond frontman takes a deep drag from a cigarette and exhales with a sigh. He knows he shouldn't smoke, but it's his only remaining vice.

"If I hadn't been sober, I think The Black Parade surely would have killed me," says Gerard, who climbed on the wagon in 2004. "We were going insane the whole time, and I had to cling to my sobriety to stay even a little lucid. The album became like this beast that was consuming us."

Following up a release as successful as 2004's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, which sold 1.4 million copies in the U.S. alone, is never an easy task. And the various scares the band experienced as they worked on the new record-drummer Bob Bryar had a near-fatal staph infection, Gerard seriously injured his foot, and some restless spirits at the studio where they recorded kept them all on edge-did not help matters. And neither

did MCR's decision to make The Black Parade (Reprise) a concept disc. Together, Gerard and his bandmates-Bryar, guitarists Frank lero and Ray Toro, and bassist Mikey Way (Gerard's younger brother)-decided to craft a record about a dying young man who is visited by a cast of strange characters that help him examine his short life.

But diving into the conceptual deep end proved well worth the hassle. The Black Parade is not only MCR's most realized offering; it's also one of the most eclectic, enjoyable rock records of the year. One listen to tracks

like "House of Wolves," "The Sharpest Lives," and "Dead!" makes it clear that My Chemical Romance can still rip a good metallic punk tune. But the bandmates are now equally influenced by epic albums like Pink Floyd's The Wall, David Bowie's The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and Queen's A Night at the Opera.

"A lot of bands from the scene we came from try to strip down their music to 'keep it real," Gerard notes. "But the real you is what you've always had inside you and what you strive to be. So when we started compiling the material we had written, we were like, You know what? This has to be a huge, theatrical record."

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE started working on ideas for The Black Parade in the back of the bus while on 2005's Warped Tour, after which they flew to New York and rented a rehearsal space for two months. And that's when things started to get weird.

"I was living in Queens, and I had to commute on the subway every day," Gerard says. "I was suddenly very scared and paranoid. I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying to work on a record. And I had no anonymity because there were a lot of teenagers on the train." In reaction to the young fans he encountered on the underground,

Gerard wrote "Teenagers," a T. Rex-style romp with the chorus line, "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me." "The song came directly from commuting when school let out and being so terrified of them," the singer says. "I was like, Wait a minute. These are the same people that listen to our band. Why am I scared? And I realized it was because they're scared, too. Teenagers are made to feel like they can only solve their problems with violence. They lash out at each other in a really volatile way." After several months experiencing the joys of mass transit, MCR had completed only a handful of songs and felt like a change of scenery (and climate) might do them some good. "I couldn't keep working in New York," says Gerard. "We wanted isolation."

id: Gerard leads the way to what will likely be the band's second platinum record

So the group relocated to Paramour Mansion, outside of L.A. Nestled high in the hills, the deluxe estate overlooks the trendy Silver Lake area and boasts spacious rooms, a gorgeous pool, lush gardens, a state-of-the-art recording facility-and a few special guests.

"The place is definitely haunted," Gerard says. "Doors would slam, and the faucets would turn on. You'd get a bath drawn for you of freezing-cold water in your room, and you wouldn't know why." As unnerving as its mischievous spirits could be, the Paramour was also inspiring, and contributed to the haunting vibe of songs like "The End" and "This Is How I Disappear." More important, it led Gerard to come up with the bleak, surreal concept for the record. "I would have these night terrors, where it would feel like someone was choking me, and my heart would stop and I would stop breathing," he says. "I would wake up in the middle of the night and write these notes to myself, and one of them read, 'We are all just a black parade.' So I started thinking about how this band is kind of a black parade, like a funeral-procession rock thing. And I used that idea to piece together this story about the idea that when you die, death comes for you however you want." Gerard molded his concept into a narrative about a character he dubbed the Patient, whose strongest memory from childhood is of his father taking him to the city to see a parade. Two songs into the album, he dies, and the black parade comes for him.

"During the rest of the story, he meets this entity of death and all these characters, like Mama, who represents anyone who's ever lost their son in a war," Gerard explains. "It's almost like these Canterbury Tales, where he goes along on this journey, and at the end he decides whether he wants to live or die." With the concept in place, My Chem made the songs as sweeping and theatrical as Gerard's lyrics. They accomplished this, in part, by combing through their own eclectic record collections and pulling choice elements that would set them even further apart from other melodic punk bands.

The first two minutes of "Welcome to the Black Parade" stemmed from Gerard's love for Broadway musicals, the horns in "Dead!" came from Mikey's interest in Blur and Britpop, and the jaunty feel of "Mama" was informed by Tom Waits and Nick Cave. But the most poignant moment on the record, "Cancer," was (unlike its morbid moniker) something of a pleasant surprise. "I was very upset about something in my personal life, and that's when that song came out," Gerard says. "It was really spontaneous, and it was recorded pretty much live with Rob [Cavallo, the record's producer] on the piano and me in the vocal booth. Then we added layers of drums, which gave it a certain urgency. It's the song I'm most proud of because it was the most pure emotion we've ever captured, and it gets such an immediate response. You can't shake what the song is about."

As the CD approached completion, some members of the band began to show signs of nervous exhaustion. The group was scheduled to fly to England to play the Reading Festival, and as the date grew near, Toro, who has a fear of flying, got noticeably agitated. Then, after the band tracked "Welcome to the Black Parade," which was originally called "The Five of Us Are Dying," the guitarist lost it.

"I thought I had this premonition," Toro explains. "I was flipping through the TV channels, and on the news. there would be something about a plane crash, and every time I woke up in the morning, the clock would say 9:11. I was playing Tomb Raider the night before the flight, and on the level I ended up at, there was this whole flashback to a plane crash. So right before the flight I was like, 'That's it. I'm not flying."

Despite his misgivings, Toro boarded the plane, and when My Chemical Romance returned to L.A. (all of them still very much alive, thank you very much), The Black Parade was completed without further incident. Listening back to the record, the band members were in awe of what they had achieved and eager to share it with their fans. "There was a real confidence that came to us," Gerard explains. "Having survived it, we felt like we were changed forever. I feel different as a performer now, and I think we really finally discovered who we were as a band." But just because MCR were done with the record didn't mean that it was done with them. About a month later, the band was shooting a video for "Famous Last Words" with director Samuel Bayer (Garbage, Smashing Pumpkins) on a set featuring walls of flame, when-seized by the moment-lero grabbed Gerard's throat from behind and wrestled him to the ground. The singer rolled one way; his foot went the other. "It bent completely backwards, and I heard a crack and felt this agonizing pain," Gerard recalls. "I tore all the ligaments in my foot, but I got up and continued to perform." "I didn't know what I was doing," says lero, shaking his head. "I wasn't trying to hurt him. I felt awful. I still do." Gerard's injury was serious, and he still walks with a cane, but it paled in comparison to what happened to Bryar. At the end of the shoot, the pyro was so intense, the drummer could feel his leg burning, but he stuck it out for the rest of the song. By then, he had a nasty third-degree burn. And the misfortune didn't stop there. Bryar didn't take his antibiotics regularly, and he failed to keep the wound clean. By the time the band got back from a brief tour of Japan, the burn was severely infected. Then Bryar's face swelled up and, after doing the MTV Video Music Awards preshow telecast and a special club show, stumbled into a hospital emergency room in intense pain. "I thought I'd be there for 10 minutes, but as soon as they saw me, they got all serious and gave me an IV and said they had to do a CAT scan," recalls Bryar."They did all these blood tests and kept me there for 14 hours." Doctors discovered that Bryar's leg infection had spread to his blood and caused an abscess in his face that was creeping dangerously close to his brain. If it had been left untreated for another two days, he could have died. "The whole thing was such a nightmare," Bryar says. "This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube. Then he went in and out of the inside of my mouth with the needle about 10 times. Fortunately, the treatment worked, and Bryar left the hospital three days later. With tragedy averted, My Chem are now focusing on touring for The Black Parade. They'll be in Europe for most of November, and when they get back at the end of year, they'll start rehearsing for a U.S. arena tour that starts in February. "We want to put on a full show with props and staging like The Wall," Gerard says. And MCR plan to keep the Patient alive long after they're done touring for the CD. "I would love to see the story turned into a play or a musical, and it could easily be a movie," enthuses Gerard. "Making this record, we cut ourselves open every day, pulled out every organ, and lay them on a table so it would be something we're completely happy with. We want The Black Parade to exist for a long time." "The whole hole thing nightmare. This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube." -BOB BRYAR

"I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying work on a record."

-GERARD WAY

12/2006 revolver - mcrhollywood on flickr

[mcrslover]

MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:

"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"

- Mikey Way.

...

"Reasons why mcr is good for you

juradsleigh:

Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets

Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers

Feeling sad? Listen to black parade

Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days

Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"

...

"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Stop covering your children's eyes.

Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."

- Frank Iero.

...

"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.

I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."

- Gerard Way.

...

"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"

- Gerard Way.

...

"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."

- Gerard Way.

...

"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.

Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."

- Gerard Way.

...

"gerard-hey:

I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.

Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."

...

"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.

Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.

What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."

- Gerard Way.

...

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream

"FUCK YOU!!"

- Gerard Way.

...

"Real revenge is making something of yourself."

- Gerard Way.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

[rip-quizilla]

Polyjamourous

Eddie x GN!Reader

Description: You get a job at the record store, where you terrorize Eddie with so many different genres of music that he gets whiplash, but your energy is adorable so he's instantly soft for you.

Tags: big grumpy/sunshine trope here, fluff, workplace relationship (kind of), outgoing!reader, Hannah putting her liked songs on shuffle and using them here shamelessly, no physical description of reader other than hinting that they have a glorious gyatt that Eddie can't help but stare at.

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: I didn't coin the term "polyjamourous"! I saw it in a TikTok by Viktor Fellbrink. Does it describe me perfectly though? Absolutely.

🎧🎧🎧

When Eddie had interviewed you for a job at the record store downtown, one of the first questions he’d asked was about your taste in music. Your response had caught him so off guard that he couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“I’m polyjamourous.” you’d said. 

Eddie had blinked a couple of times, a snorted laugh jumping from his throat. “Polyjamorous…” he’d repeated, an amused grin ticking up the corner of his mouth. “That’s one I have not heard before.”

You had shrugged, smiling the same way you’d been smiling throughout the entire interview. “I listen to a little bit of everything, I like pretty much all music.” 

What Eddie had expected from that was mostly pop, maybe a classic rock hit here and there. Judging by the ripped jeans and Doc Martens you were wearing the day of your interview, he suspected there may have been an emo/alt rock phase in your history so maybe some Paramore or MCR. 

What he hadn’t been expecting was the fact that when you said you liked all music, you meant all music. 

A month into working with you, and he already dreaded the days that you’d signed your name on the list entitled “Aux Cord Dibs” that sat on a tattered clipboard under the counter. The first hour of your shuffled liked songs on Spotify, and Eddie already had whiplash. 

The songs that played (in order) were:

Satisfied- The Broadway Cast of Hamilton

Raise Hell- Brandi Carlile

The Offering- Sleep Token

Magical- Ed Sheeran

Dream a Little Dream of Me- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

Just to name a few.

Not only were you completely unashamed that the first song to pop up under your aux cord time was a fucking show tune, but you knew every word. You sang, rapped- acted- every word. 

Eddie was now absolutely sure that you had had an emo phase, because this meant you were also a theater kid (same as him, but he wasn’t about to admit that to you) and in Eddie’s experience, most theater kids were also emo kids in some way, shape, or form.

“How much coffee did you drink this morning?” he’d muttered once you’d finished your one-woman show whilst shelving new records. 

“No coffee, this is all natural.” You’d said that with a grin so wide, it was obvious to him that you knew how obnoxious that sounded and you were taking it in stride. 

“You’re just the Energizer bunny… naturally?” 

Somehow, you grinned wider. “Yes!”

You can imagine how terrified Eddie was when you pulled a Celcius out of your bag an hour later. What happens when you give an energy drink to a person with natural energy?

You get impromptu dance breaks. 

Eddie had been boxing up an online order when out of the corner of his eye, he saw your oversized sweatered form bouncing around between aisles to the beat of whatever K-Pop bullshit was currently assaulting his speakers. 

Wordlessly, his eyes drifted to the monitor displaying the security camera feed where he found a full view of your hopping, stepping, and jumping to the bouncy rhythm of a Korean song with random English words sprinkled in. The grainy feed from the camera even picked up the subtle motion of your lips moving, and Eddie’s lips couldn’t help but twist into an amused little smile when he realized that must mean you were even trying to lip sync to the words, and he might be wrong but he was pretty sure you didn’t speak Korean.

His shoulders shook, silently chuckling at your antics until the music slowed down in tempo. Your hips began to move in slow, pronounced circles, sending the rest of your body rolling with the momentum. Eddie knew you didn’t mean to turn him on with the way your hips were moving… but you had an ass that shook when you walked, much less when you were actually wiggling your hips around. It wasn’t a you problem that was making Eddie’s eyes bug out of his skull and glue themselves to the screen; it was definitely an Eddie problem.

He had to keep it professional; Eddie was a shift manager, and while he wasn’t technically your boss, that was a gray area delicate enough that he didn’t plan on rushing into anything risky. The last thing he should be doing was ogling you on the security camera like a fucking creep. So, he made a point to pay attention to literally anything else whenever you started dancing around the store like some sort of coked-up cheerleader.

After a few shifts with Eddie, you started to notice that he was pointedly ignoring your antics- which made forcing him to pay attention all the more entertaining. The job could be boring on slow days, so this was how you entertained yourself- annoying the shit out of Eddie Munson.

Eddie: “If I hear one more show tune, I’m commandeering the aux cord.”

You: Proceeds to belt all three parts of Sincerely Me from Dear Evan Hansen, complete with choreography.

Eddie: “Is there any metal on this playlist? Just one song? I need a breather…”

You: Introduces Eddie to Babymetal.

One day, you even forced Eddie to suffer through Lizzo. That was funny as all hell, if you’d ever seen it. 

“I feel like I’m walking through a Forever 21.” He’d grumbled as you cheekily shimmied your shoulders at him and mimed a toss of your hair for good measure. 

“First of all,” you laughed, “I’m impressed you know what Forever 21 is.”

“I have been to a mall, you know.”

“Second,” you continued, “You’re starting to come off as a bit of a music elitist.”

Eddie shook his head, shelving new records from the stack of crates on the floor. “It isn’t a crime to know what I like and don’t like, kid.”

You smirked, reaching wordlessly over to the media center behind the counter and turning up the music. It was empty in the store save for you and Eddie, so the change in volume wouldn’t hurt anyone. Lizzo’s Like a Girl rang out through the speakers, and you made a show of losing yourself to the beat just to spite the metalhead before you. 

Eddie sighed, looking up to the ceiling as if God himself could save him from this torment; he couldn’t stop the whisper of a smile from creeping into the corners of his lips. “What did I do to deserve this shit?” he groaned.

Your grin was blazing, infectious in the way you wore it with reckless abandon as you danced from shelf to shelf with one of the crates of records. When the crate was empty, each album carefully nestled in its appropriate place, you set the crate down on the floor right as the chorus started and your hips shook in time with the drop of the beat. 

Eddie had been looking out the corner of his eye the whole time, but averted his gaze immediately once you were shaking your ass in the air. Unbeknownst to you, he was doing everything in his power not to stare.

Bouncing as you perked back up, you flashed him a sadistic grin and shrugged. “You just make it so much fun to torture you, sorry.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, “That was the emptiest apology I’ve ever heard.” To which you laughed and heartily agreed, launching your whole self into shaking all you had to the beat, even going so far as to plant your foot on the edge of the counter. 

You looked more silly than sexy, even Eddie could admit that, but it was your reckless abandon and giant fucking smile that made him break in that moment. You were shaking your ass- was that twerking? Eddie didn’t think it was twerking, but then again, he wasn’t an expert- and singing along to the music with so much energy that Eddie’s smile finally won his face over. He nodded his head to the beat, even shimmied his shoulders a little, and watched you make an adorable fool of yourself. 

That was when the door opened, sending a chime through the shop as a very confused Steve and Robin walked through the door just in time to see you shaking your ass in their direction. 

As far as you knew, these two were customers, so you swiftly tore your foot from the counter and started to apologize before Steve cut you off with a lopsided grin and a midair brush of his hand. 

“Please don’t apologize, because that might be the best first impression you could’ve made on me.” He confidently strode forward, already extending a hand which you happily accepted. Steve had a way of putting people at ease, Eddie had noticed, even if they had been the opposite of “at ease” before he’d entered the scene. 

He watched straight-faced as Steve struck up a conversation with you about being friends with Eddie and stopping by to say hello, then proceeded to introduce himself and ask you about yourself with the confidence and coolness that came so easily to people like Steve Harrington. Eddie chewed his lip and felt an unwelcome flare of jealousy in his stomach when you gave Steve the same smile that- up until now- you’d been giving him. 

 “So that’s the new hire you told us about?” Robin asked, voice low enough that only Eddie could hear.

He nodded, eyes trained on Steve as he said some joke that made you laugh. “Yeeeeeuup.” Eddie drew out the word, lacing passive aggression into every extra syllable. 

“I see.” Robin looked at Eddie, arching an eyebrow as she wordlessly assessed him, then slowly looked at you and smiled knowingly. “Well, if you’re gonna make a move, better beat Steve to it.”

Eddie sighed and shook his head, murmuring out the corner of his mouth “Stay. Out of it.”  before picking up his crate of records and moving to a different shelf. You were out of sight, but your and Steve’s voices still carried to where he worked. 

“...a little bit of everything.” Eddie heard you say, picking up on your conversation as he silently shelved new inventory. “What kind of music do you listen to?”

“Nothing in particular, I just jam to whatever’s on the radio.” Already inwardly cringing at how Steve must be shrugging or tossing his hair or some shit, Eddie eavesdropped inconspicuously. “Compared to a seasoned listener like yourself, I must sound like an idiot. You should make a playlist for me, so I can know what an expert would recommend.” 

“Expert?” you snorted, “Oh I’m hardly an expert. Half of what I listen to is garbage, but it’s fun garbage so I’m not ashamed. Eddie’s the expert.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if you knew he was nearby enough to hear you, but he wasn’t about to miss out on whatever you were about to say about him, so he remained silent and out of sight. 

Harrington scoffed. “Expert on metal, sure, but unless you’re into headbanging and screaming, I think he’d be pretty lost-”

“Not true.” you interjected. “He likes some classic rock, a bit of old school jazz- you know I played a song by Bob Dylan one day, and he started rattling off all these facts about the guy?” 

Eddie remembered that day. He’d almost told you that he knew all those facts because his mom had loved Bob Dylan, but he thought talking about his dead mom might be a little more personal than you were prepared to get with him so early into knowing him. 

“When Eddie hears music he thinks is good, it doesn’t matter what genre it is- he respects it whether it’s his taste or not.” Eddie had long since stopped shelving; he stood stock still, listening with wide eyes as you spoke with more admiration in your voice than Eddie had ever expected to belong to him. “I play a crazy wide range of music when I work with him, and every time a song I really love comes on it’s hard for me to not focus on how he’s reacting to it. It’s like every time, I’m in my head like- will he like this one?”

Steve was quiet for a moment before Eddie heard him reply, “Sounds like you’re hoping you’ll impress him.” 

Eddie felt his heart start beating a little faster. Were you?

You giggled a little, and for a moment Eddie’s heart fell when he thought you were laughing at the very insinuation that you might want to impress him.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” he heard  you say. “I haven’t known Eddie long, but I’ve always thought he’s an impressive person. It’s hard not to want to impress him back.”

Eddie couldn’t suppress his smile even if he’d wanted to. Sneaking around the shelves where you couldn’t see him, he turned a corner to continue his work as he hummed to himself.

After you’d locked the doors at 8, the two of you were closing down the shop alone as your playlist quietly painted the quiet evening air. You were walking through the store doing your final check while Eddie took inventory, and Eddie had been silently nodding his head to the beat of the music as you came into view of the checkout counter.

“What song is this?”

Your eyes widened, and the eagerness in your gaze made Eddie’s heart just about burst. 

“Uh, it’s Chicken by Your Neighbors.” you stuttered, “You like it?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, softly, “it’s good.”

There was that blinding grin again, contagious in how it fed his until it doubled in size. “Yeah, it is.” 

A pause settled between the two of you, song lyrics potent in the evening’s silence. 

You ain’t got no time to wait

You don’t get what you don’t ask for

“Hey, uhh…” Eddie was quick to grab your attention, and you watched him wide-eyed and expectant. “...feel like getting pizza after this? Surfer Boy doesn’t close ‘til midnight, and I was gonna stop by to see my buddy Argyle after closing anyway, so-”

“Yes!” you agreed, a little more eagerly than you had originally intended to come across. You cleared your throat, “I mean, if it’s no trouble-”

“No trouble at all, it's just down the street, I’ll walk with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You were both grinning like idiots, but neither of you seemed to care. You continued your closing duties, both of you nodding your heads to the beat of the music and enjoying the feelings that, though unspoken and undefined, were currently nestling comfortably into your chest and his. 

Taglist: (really just people I have been talking about this to, I hope you like it❤️) @the-unforgivenn, @vintagehellfire, @munson-blurbs, @hellfire--cult, @word-wytch

[legitalicat]

Too Sweet - Modern!Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

AN: Hello my beautiful people! I hope you enjoy this story. It started as a little love note to the song "Too Sweet" by Hozier because I feel it's very Aegon coded. It then became kind of an amalgamation of a few different stories. My own story and journey with alcoholism and recovery played a big part in this, and as I wrote it parts of my feelings about my older brother, who is in active addiction, came into play. Please know that this is not everyone's story. Recovery from addiction looks different for most everyone. I truly overcame my addiction through building community and connections. I know many people who have to work a program to succeed. I know a person who actually did get a degree after a near lifetime of addiction and now he does a lot of things to help our local community in treating addiction. So really, this is a love letter to people like me and my brother. There is hope and I believe in every one of you.

Link to the TED Talk mentioned.

TW: blatant talks of alcoholism and substance abuse, talks of rehab, family issues, abusive family subtext yet never explicitly stated, gonna say it's kinda angsty, FLUFF

Pairings: Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

Word count: almost 3k

The soft pads of her feet made barely any noise as she walked into his bedroom, carrying a mug in each hand and wearing nothing but his MCR tee-shirt. Technically, they should both be in a deep sleep by now. It was fast approaching four in the morning and neither of them had bothered to close their eyes once. It was all he could to not hold her close in bed and stare at her captivating beauty.

When Aegon first saw her, weeks ago, he was stunned. It was the first time he had gone to the new bar right down the road from his apartment and it just so happened it was karaoke night. He had been tempted to turn around when he heard a horrendous rendition of his favorite Hozier song. But then she took the mic from her drunken friend, and it was as if the heavens parted and the gods showed him the future Mrs. Aegon Targaryen.

“Your coffee, sir,” she said to him as she handed him a mug. “No worries, it’s as black as your soul,” she added with a teasing grin.

“Thank you, beautiful,” he said as he took the mug from her.

She was truly a lesson in divinity for him. Aegon didn’t truly believe she was the most gorgeous woman on the planet. There would be people who would think she was average looks, maybe even less than that, but he didn’t need her to be more beautiful than anyone else. He wanted her exactly as she was. Beautiful like a spring day, teeming with beauty in the most natural of ways. Like one would think of a cherry blossom tree, or their favorite flower. Simple and breathtaking, a reminder of life and truth on a fundamental level.

He knew it the moment they locked eyes in that bar. Her voice shook from nerves as she sang in front of the crowd of strangers. When she looked at him, and he at her, he felt joyful for the first time in years. All of the stupid shit with his family, the years of drowning his sorrows in whiskey and wine and any other drug, none of it mattered.

If he were honest, he couldn’t remember how he got so lucky. He knew he approached her once she was done singing and complimented her. By the end of the night she was nestled beside him in bed, and he’d be damned if he ever let her leave.

“Gods, you’re amazing,” he muttered as he watched her. He knew she was drinking hot chocolate, finding the taste of coffee much too bitter.

“What was that?” she asked him when she pulled the mug away from her face. She had a bit of whipped cream on her upper lip, making his heart feel like it was on the brim of exploding.

He leaned forward, just barely, and lifted his hand to wipe the cream away with his thumb. She gave him a cute little smile when it brushed against her lips, puckering them to press a kiss to his skin. When he pulled his hand away and sucked the cream off, he heard her giggle.

“This is why you’re so sweet. Where most people drink whiskey and coffee, you put sugar in your sugar and drink it until the sun comes up,” he told her. Of course, he was teasing her.

“Because unlike you, Mr. Listen to Sad Music Even When I’m Happy, I like to enjoy things. The good things. The sweet things, like whipped cream and hot chocolate and fruit loops in bed on Saturday mornings. I just think I live a better life than you,” she told him. She was grinning from ear to ear.

If Aegon wasn’t so afraid of rejection, he would tell her how he loved her. He loved that she wanted to eat sweets at all times. He loved that she teased him for listening to My Chemical Romance or Asking Alexandria, calling it all sad music, even when she would listen right alongside him. He loved that she would start crying at the Wonka movie near the end, unashamed about feeling overwhelmed by the backstory.

If he weren’t so afraid she didn’t love him, he would tell her. He knew it had only been a few weeks, that all logic points to love at first sight being nothing more than him just getting turned on by her appearance. But how could he not love her when she sat in bed with him like this after making him a cup of coffee before the sun had even risen? How could one resist the gentleness of her touch when they watched TV together and she insisted on holding his hand? How could he be expected to watch her hyper fixate on a book or a video game, talking about it for hours on end with so much passion she always ended up wound up and breathless?

“You’re too sweet for me,” he told her as he laid back against the head board. He gently pulled her into his side, wanting to have her as close as humanly possible.

His words were met with an amused chuckle. She didn’t fight his hold on her, instead melting into him as though it was where she had always been.

“Tell me about your family,” she said quietly. “I mean, I’ve not been further than ten feet from you for weeks and you haven’t said the first word about them.”

He could feel his jaw clench as she asked him. His family was a complicated and sensitive subject. Even though he wished he never had to speak to her about them, he knew he had to if he had any hopes of them becoming more than just a passion fueled fling.

“Not much to really say. Dad ran Draconic Industries. My older sister, Rhaenyra, is my dad’s daughter with his first wife. He made her next in line to take over the business. Me, my younger siblings, even my mom, we never really mattered much to dear old dad. He died when I was nineteen. I don’t really matter much to any of the rest of them,” he told her, tracing shapes on her bare thigh as he spoke.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she said quickly.

“It is,” he told her without any uncertainty. “Helaena, my younger sister, hasn’t spoken to me in a few years either. I haven’t spoke to my youngest brother Daeron since we were kids. And my brother Aemond…he was the last to hold out hope for me and I burned that to the ground a long time ago. I think it’s been at least a year. My mom completely disowned me about four years ago, when I was around twenty-two, cause I refused to go to rehab again.”

She frowned softly but said nothing. He could only imagine what was going through her head at this point. If roles were reversed, he would probably be planning his exit strategy. All it felt like he told her was a sob story about a poor rich kid who can’t live off mommy and daddy anymore. He felt pathetic.

“What did you go to rehab for?” she asked him.

“Started partying when I was like twelve. Alcoholic by age fourteen. Lead to worse shit, as it does, and I overdosed when I was eighteen on some coke. My mom and grandfather checked me into rehab the following week. Have done two more stints since. Never really stuck, and I haven’t been sober for more than a few days since I was like fifteen.”

He was laying in all our there for her. He wanted her to know so she could decide if she thought he was worth the trouble. He couldn’t blame her if she ran away from him. Why would she stick around? All of his family had washed their hands of him and they were family. She was just someone he met in a bar a few weeks before.

She stayed quiet for a long time. Longer than he would’ve liked. The silence weighed on his heart like an elephant pressing against his chest. He wanted to beg her to say something, anything, just so he knew where her head was at.

Though, he noticed, she didn’t move away from him. She stayed right there, comfortable tucked into his side, occasionally sipping her hot chocolate. His own mug, still filled with coffee, had gone near forgotten in his hand. He was too focused on her.

“You know, the opposite of addiction is connection. Watched a TED Talk one time about it. They found when addicts are treated like people instead of criminals, integrating them into society instead of isolating them, they show less of a struggle with addictions. Allow their basic needs to be met, give them a community, and they thrive,” she said softly after several moments.

She sat up, her warmth leaving him. He felt lonely without her touching him even though she was still well within arm’s reach. She was all he wanted, all he needed.

“I’m not saying I can fix you. I’m not saying the cure to all your problems is me giving my heart to you. I am, however, telling you that I haven’t once seen you drunk or high or anything and we basically haven’t been apart in weeks. If you want to develop healthy connections, create a community, be a person, I am more than willing to be part of it,” she said.

His heart started beating rapidly against his chest. He knew she was right. Since being with her, he hadn’t really felt the need for anything. He had physical cravings, sure, but no mental desire. Aegon didn’t want a moment with her to be a hazy memory that he may be able to recall when he's older.

“Why?” he asked her.

“Because I love you,” she said.

The weeks and months following that night, Aegon really put in the work. Y/N had made it clear to him that she was not going to just give him everything. If he wanted this, it was on him. She was only helping him.

Together, they had found a group therapy program for him. It was ran by a man who had gotten his psychology degree a few years before, but had struggled with addiction for most of his life. That was the first step, a step Aegon felt proud he had taken once he realized he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

The next step, he decided on by himself. The group program was all well and good, but he felt a need to find a deeper explanation into himself. Once a week he found himself sitting in a therapist’s office, talking about everything and nothing all at once. They spoke about his family, his self imposed isolation from them and how that lead to them cutting off, his hopes and dreams for the future.

Through this, he found out about opportunities for volunteer work in the community. He realized he quite liked working at the local secondhand store that helped people in need. He even brought her with him on the Saturdays he worked a shift, turning it into something they enjoyed together.

Even at work, he began reaching out more. If the opposite of addiction was connection, then by the gods he was going to make connections. His coworkers were enough to give him a good laugh. All of them were extremely proud of the progress he made, always encouraging him. He found that little bit alone made it easier for him to be more himself. In the conversations he was able to have with his coworkers, he talked about shows, movies, and music he liked and became friends with a few of them.

It was with this progress, along with the support Y/N provided, that Aegon found himself at the door of his family’s estate. He hadn’t been here in years. He knew all of his younger siblings still lived here. Helaena’s bright yellow VW Beetle sat parked in the driveway, Aemond’s motorcycle probably laid in parts in the garage, and Daeron had always been more content taking a town car than actually driving himself anywhere.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Y/N told him as she held his hand tightly. He had asked her to come with him so she could at least meet them. They needed to see how he had changed.

“I do have to. If for no other reason than to show them I’m not who they remember me to be,” he told her.

“Did you talk to Dr. Wilson about this? I mean, I just, I don’t want you to,” she said, trying desperately to find the right words. He silenced her with a kiss to her forehead.

“And I love you for it,” he said to her, holding her hand as tightly as she held his. “I’m okay with whatever happens in there.”

He knocked hard on the door. It wasn’t long before his mother answered. The ever looming presence of Alicent Hightower, never Targaryen, filled the entire space of the door frame. Her auburn curls were tied neatly back into a bun, her brown eyes widened in surprise.

The woman before him, despite being in her forties, showed no true signs of aging. There were no gray hairs scattered around her head, no fine lines or wrinkles. The only indication of a less than flawless appearance were the almost invisible lines that came from the outer corners of her eyes, put there by the fact that just like Aegon, her eyes would always squint up whenever she smiled.

“Aegon,” she said quietly. She looked at him like she saw a ghost.

“Hi, mom. Can we come in?” he asked her, biting his lip. Y/N gave his hand a small squeeze as if to remind him she was with him. He had her support every step of the way.

Alicent nodded silently and stepped to the side, allowing them entrance. The house was the same as the last time he was here. All of the old family photos hung on the walls of the hallway to the living room. The air smelled of cedar wood and spiced apples, giving it the perpetual scent of fall. It was warm and inviting, the plush couch so comfortable beneath him it was almost indicative of how much money his mother spent on it.

In a lot of ways, the house felt like his family. It was the epitome of warmth and love on first glance. When you looked closer, you could see how some of the picture frames were void of glass, having been broken in one family argument or another. There was a coat the hung on the same rack, day in and day out, hiding the hole where his head went through the wall in a drunken stupor. The paint on the walls were beginning to chip away, revealing the yellowing walls that proved how much his dad had liked to smoke. It was haunted, irreversibly scarred by the past.

A maid came around and asked the three of them if they wanted a drink. Alicent requested a glass of wine. Aegon noticed how surprised she looked when he just asked for a soda, like Y/N was having. He also noticed how she kept looking at his hand that held Y/N’s.

“And who is this?” She asked, nodding her head to Y/N.

“This is the woman I’m going to marry, Y/N,” he said confidently.

They hadn’t spoken about it, there wasn’t a ring on her finger. But he had no doubt in his mind that he would marry her. He was certain that she was who he was made for. The gods had her in mind when they designed him, knowing how much he would love her. She truly was his soulmate.

“And so you came to show her how terrible we all are?” she asked him, eyebrow raised. “Or did you come for money? Because you’re not getting a dime.”

“Neither,” he said firmly. “I just wanted you to see me, mom. I wanted to see you.”

She was surprised at his words. The last time he had spoken to her, he had been begging for money. Crying, begging. When she refused, trying to help him in the best way she knew how, he screamed at her about all of her faults. The last words he spoke to her was how he could only hope that he had the courage to kill himself before he turned into her.

“I’m sorry for…for everything,” he told her. “It wasn’t fair of me to blame everything on you.” Y/N squeezed his hand again. He looked down at their hands and he knew he was okay. He would be okay. “I’m like, eight months sober from everything. Not a drop of booze, no drugs. I have a full time job, I volunteer on the weekends at a secondhand store. I’m doing good, mom.”

Tears flooded to her eyes as she looked at him. Her oldest son, the first person she ever truly loved in a selfless manner. She had thought he was completely lost to her. The vicious creature he had been when they last saw each other had melted away entirely.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” she asked him. He could only wordlessly nod, allowing her the time to stand from her chair and walk over to him. She hugged him tighter than she ever had.

He looked over Alicent’s shoulder at Y/N. The woman he loved was watching him with tears of her own, a smile on his face. She was good, too good, for him. She had opened his eyes to a reality he had been scared to face. But she had never once made him face it alone.

And that made all the difference.

[crowandmousewritingco]

Give Me a Shot to Remember Pt1

Pairing: Joel Miller x gn!reader

Words: 2.9k

Rating: M (18 + very smutty)

Warnings: hate sex (sorta noncon but evolves to concentual [this one on the darker side folks]), misunderstandings, QZ Joel, drinking, swearing, choking, fingering (reader receiving), degradation, face slapping, face fucking, gagging, riding, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys!), fucking your emotions out, creampie, and cock warming,

Summary: You hated Joel Miller, and you never wanted to see him again. But it seemed like fate had other ideas.

Author: Mod Mouse

Notes: This is my entry for @sp00kymulderr's MCR challenge, and got the song The Sharpest Lives. I'm honestly excited for this one! It went in directions I wasn't expecting. That being said, this is a darker 18+ fic so MDNI. If you click the "Keep Reading," You know what you're getting yourself into. Also this is my first time writing for Joel so I hope I did him justice.

You hated Joel Miller. That fucker had messed up your life in unforeseen ways. So when you saw him in the bar in the QZ that night after years of loathing and silence sent you in a spiral. So ya you went on a bender. Anything that had alcohol and was in your vicinity went down your throat with the familiar sting of forgetfulness. That was until the bartender cut you off and you threatened his mother and his entire line. Luckily you were good friends with him and only sent you away with a slap on the wrist telling you to try again tomorrow. 

So you stumbled down the road back to your shitty apartment in this shitty town. To add even more insult to injury the heavens decided to dump the entirety of its rain contents right on you. “Son of a bitch!” you yelled up at the clouds, but of course they didn’t care. No one gave any shits about you. You were sopping wet by the time you threw open the door of the complex. 

You groaned and stumbled up the stairs, your shoes squishing with every step. Ugh and you just got these too. Another week of rations down the drain. All you wanted now was a bath and a good night's sleep. The reward of cleanliness was the pull you needed to make it up the stairs. The hallway felt way longer than what it actually was as you trudged across the worn wood. Finally you reached your door though it took a couple of tries to actually open the damn thing and you slipped inside giving no mind that it was weird your door was unlocked. You religiously checked it every time you left your apartment. 

To your alcohol ridden mind it didn’t matter. What mattered was dry clothes and sleep. You stumbled into the space and kicked your shoes off with a thud and shed what close you could before you fell face first into the couch. It didn’t take you long before you were passed out unaware of what the world would throw at you next. 

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Joel Miller had witnessed a plethora of events in his life. Some good, but most of them left some sort of imprint in his aged mind. After burning bodies all day, he just wanted to rot on his couch with a beer in his hand. With some extra ration cards he got from his trading, he got himself a six pack which he carried back up to his apartment. 

What he wasn’t expecting was his apartment door to be half open. Quietly he set the pack of beer on the ground and pulled the gun from the back of his pants. Carefully he held it in front of him as he pushed the door fully open with a creak. It was soon apparent that nothing was messed up so nothing was stolen. 

After another quick glance around the room his eyes landed on your half naked body and he swiveled his gun to aim it at your sleeping form. Tiptoeing closer to the couch not letting his gun move away from you. When he was close enough he nudged you with the barrel of his gun though all it did was make your arm fall. 

He tried again adding a bit more force behind the shove and that caused a snort to escape from you. Joel scooted back as you waved your hand besides you mumbling what he could only assume was a swear word at his expense. Again he shoved you with the barrel not caring about the amount of force he was using against you. Finally that seemed to get the stranger awake. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t very happy at the sudden interruption of your peaceful sleep. “Hey get up,” You heard the stranger bark at you and you sat up quickly though wincing as everything was way too bright and way too loud. 

“Jesus fuck man chill out. I was sleeping.” It took you a moment to realize the situation. “Wait what the fuck are you doing in my apartment,” You grumpled as you grabbed you head. 

“Your apartment? Try again.” The voice repeated with an edge of annoyance. 

This made you look up and through your blurry vision you took in the man before you. It took you a minute through your hungover idled brain to realize who you were looking at. But when it hit you, growled and quickly stood up despite all the warnings from your body. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Joel?” You practically yelled and pulled out the pocket knife from your pocket. 

“Like I said yer in my apartment.” He replied, setting the gun on the coffee table. 

“I’m not–” You paused and turned to take in your surroundings. Most of the QZ apartments looked identical, but the burns on the carpet and this sofa were not yours. It was missing everything that made your space what it was. The objects that reminded you of your best friends were missing from the shelves replaced with an old radio. When you realized that you were in the wrong apartment you cursed yourself and rubbed your eyes. 

“Fucking hell,” You growled. You did not want to have this conversation right now. “I’ll leave.” You tried to plow through Joel, but the man stood his ground not letting you move an inch. 

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way,” You punctuated through clenched teeth. 

“I think we need to have a talk,” The older man added. 

You scoffed and ran your tongue over your teeth in annoyance. “Oh we have to have a conversation now. Well you weren’t feeling chatty when you decided to leave me some blonde bimbo bitch.” You panted as your anger surged through your veins. “Four years Joel we dated. Four!” 

Joel scowled as he stared at you baring down at you with war worn eyes, but he didn’t say a word. You clenched your jaw so hard you thought your teeth might chip. 

“So you really won’t say anything after all this time? Then let me through but for fuck sake explain yourself.” 

“The fuck do you mean? You knew I had to.” He growled through his clenched teeth. 

You scoffed. “Had to? The fuck does that mean? You didn’t have to cheat on me.” 

“Cheat? Where did you hear that?” Joel scoffed. 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. “Oh you know everyone who saw you making out with Chelssey underneath the bleachers. Jesus, I'm just back in highschool.” 

“Chelssey fucking hell I never did that.” He threw up his hands in annoyance. 

“Oh good we’re lying now. I don’t have time for this.” You try again to push your way past him, but once again he was as stubborn as an ox and you push past him again, sending you back to your corner.  

“Joel now fucking what? Do you have pictures of her sucking you off? Fuck do you want with me?” 

“I want to explain what happened.” 

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “I don’t see you talking.” 

Joel was quiet for a long time and you weren’t sure you would get answers again, but finally after a deep breath he explained. “She was pregnant.” 

“Okay,” You said with no emotions. “Forget the condom during a risky quicky in the locker room?” 

“Jesus just listen. No it wasn’t me.” He sighed again. “It was my brother.” 

You quirked your eyebrow. “Tommy? The fuck happened?” 

“He was the captain of the football team and she was the head cheerleader. What do you think happened?” He rubbed his eyes. He looked older than he ever had been at that moment.

“Okay so what, you decided to leave us behind to help her?” You rolled your eyes. 

“I didn’t leave us behind. You weren’t waiting at that bus stop.” Joel was silent for a long moment. “I thought you gave up on us.” 

You rubbed your eyes, this stressful reunion making your hangover ten times worse. You would give anything to be anywhere but this room. “How could I not? Everyone was telling me you were cheating. I didn’t think you cared anymore. Ugh fucking hell I can’t with you.” Your temples started to throb in time with your heartbeat. 

“What do ya want me to do then? Since it’s clear you ain’t believing me,” Joel growled. 

You scoffed. “Why don’t you blow me then huh? Put that lying mouth to use then.” 

  With a low growl Joel stroad forward covering the small apartment in only a step. His well worn hand grasped your neck and squeezed. The sudden movement scared you, but also was a rush you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“So that’s what ya want? Even after all the time and hate you still want me to fill that hole with my cock.” Joel crooned as he squeezed tighter. Stars danced in your eyes and the lack of blood flow sent a sense of euphoria over your body. 

“Fuck…You” You punctuated but you felt yourself growing more and more needy by the second. 

Taking his hand off of your throat and slid down your body gripping your bare waist. The rush of blood back to your head was sudden but enjoyable nonetheless. Joel deftly shoved his hand down your underwear running his finger up and down your slit. “Yer body is telling me other things, baby.” With those words his thick fingers found your dripping hole and without warning, shoved two inside of you. 

The moan that escaped your throat was unholy and loud enough for the whole QZ to hear your pleasure. Joel couldn’t help but smile as he finger fucked you with reckless abandon. “Just like that you slut. Despite everything you still missed how I made you feel.” 

“Fuck!” You moaned as he punished the spots you loved the best as if he never forgot what made you scream the most. It wasn’t long before an orgasm ripped through you causing your legs to lose their steadiness. Joel’s grip on your waist was the only thing keeping you upright. Though Joel didn’t stop there. He kept his punishing pace as soft pleads of stop escaped your blubbering lips. 

“You used to love when I did this shit to you. I can see nothin’s changed.” Joel chuckled darkly. Finally he pulled his fingers out of you and gave your hole a quick slap causing you to jump. You pout looking up at him. 

Joel lightly slapped your cheeks a few times. “Don’t give me that shit.” Swiftly he undid his belt and pulled his underwear down just enough for his cock to pop out. Your attention quickly snapped to the dick that you had spent nights riding and sucking. Joel gave his cock a few strokes with his large hand. 

“Even after all this time you still miss my cock there darlin’?” Joel teased and you quickly snapped your gaze away. “Even after you accused me of cheatin’?” 

“Absolutely not!” You argued. 

Joel stared at you as he stroked his cock. He lumbered forward slowly, a dichotomy from his aggressive behavior earlier. The stomping of boots made you turn your attention back to him. Joel didn’t stop marching forward and you had to back up to keep him from running into you. Quickly your knees hit the mattress causing you to fall back against the bed. 

That still didn’t stop Joel. Just as slow as his movements he climbed on the bed making sure he was straddling your shoulders. With one of his big hands he grabbed the back of your head, knotting his fingers in your locks before guiding his cock to your lips. Precum smeared on your lips and the salty taste hit your tongue with past familiarity. 

“Maybe this will get you to shut yer mouth,” He growled and pushed his cock into your mouth. The stretch burned your jaw as Joel slid further into your mouth hitting the back of your throat. Tears burned your eyes as you tried to keep yourself from gagging. Joel moaned as he took in your tear stained cheeks. Without a second chance for you to recover he thrusted into your mouth using you like his own personal toy. 

The slap of skin and the grunts emanating from Joel filled the apartment. Your senses were full of Joel. His musk, his touch, his sounds. Everything was Joel and you couldn’t escape it. And you found yourself not wanting anything else. Something shook loose in your brain as you watched the man above you take what he wanted. Your anger still seethed inside of your soul. 

All of the years spent hating this man all for it to sizzle when you thought about it harder. Rumors had a tendency to run rampant across a high school. Maybe there was a modicum of truth in his statement. But if he was telling you the truth then what? Would you pick up where you left off and live happily in this fucked up world. Or would this finally be the end, a catharsis of sorts. 

Your mind still reeled as you felt Joel pull out of your mouth leaving a trail of drool connecting you to his cock. He scooted back on the bed giving you a chance to breathe. “You know I wanna cum in that pretty hole of yours.” 

“Then do it but first.” You sat up and kneeled on the mattress so you could look him in the eyes. Joel stayed quiet as he took your form in. He gave a small nod. 

“Kiss me and I’ll surrender,” You whispered, not taking your gaze off of his world damaged eyes. Your resolution was broken by the man you loved and hated for a decade. The memory of your anger shadowed by the care that still lingered in your soul. 

Joel searched your look for meaning, breaking down any movement trying to understand you. You were so angry not long ago, but he saw the change of attitude in your eyes and understood the look of peace. With no words exchanged he kissed you letting the both of you let go of what anger and frustration led you to this moment. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck burying your fingers in these salt and pepper curls, and pressed your heated body into his flannel. The familiar nights spent with tv shows abandoned and heated kisses exchanged on the couch late at night came rushing back to your memory spurring on your need. 

“Please Joel,” You whimpered into the kiss. 

Joel moaned and rolled over to sit down on the mattress. He slid out of his jeans and boxers putting his muscular thighs on display. You licked your lips at the scene and carefully maneuvered yourself onto his lap. Bracing your arms on his broad shoulders you let yourself rock your hips against his cock, moaning with each shock of pleasure as his length hit all the sensitive bits. 

Using his large hands Joel grabbed your ass and lifted you enough for you to pull your underwear aside. With your other hand you guided his large cock against your hole and slid down with a loud moan. Your body remembering what it felt like to be filled by him, to not know anything besides the cock that made you tremble. 

“Fuck,” You threw back your head as you started to ride him slowly, using your legs to bounce you up and down on his cock. You kept your pace steady as you enjoyed every moment Joel was inside of you. He hit your spots like he never forgot what made you sing. Every thrust sent jolts of pleasure throughout your body, and you could keep going like this for as long as the world would allow you.  

But the pace wasn’t enough for Joel. He grasped your hips and started to bounce you faster. He pressed his mouth to your ear and growled. “I’ve waited way too long to have you again. Yer gonna come on my cock like a good whore.” 

His words made you shiver as you let him pound your hole like a hungry beast. You gripped onto him and let him take you. But this time it was different. The love you shared with him once bubbled back to the surface versus the anger filled lust that started this whole affair. You pressed your face into his shoulder as you felt the building fire in your stomach. 

“Fuck I’m gonna~” You moaned as he cock pounded into that spot you could never reach. All you needed was an affirmative moan from Joel to send you over the edge. You moaned loudly as you shook from your high. Legs shaking you felt Joel twitch inside of you and with a grunt you felt his seed fill you up. Spurt after spurt coated your walls and you felt a steady trail drip down the inside of your thigh. 

Both of you stayed connected for a long, breaths syncing up with each second you stayed together. Joel gently laid the two of you down in his bed, bringing the comforter over you heated bodies. Neither of you said a word. You didn’t have to. You knew what the other was thinking and you let yourself stay in the comfortable silence. Sleep soon found you as you fell asleep with Joel still inside of you.

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Pedro Character Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges @carusolikey @thebeldroramscal @morallyinept

@lady-bess

@pedrostories

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

The Foundations of Decay (My Chemical Romance)

The guiltiness is yours/You must fix your heart/And you must build an altar where it swells/When the storm decays/And the sky it rains/Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away/And as we stumble through our last crusade

And if by his own hand his spirit flies/take his body as a relic to be canonised/and so he gets to die a saint /while she will always be the whore

Let our bodies lay where our hearts will stay/Let our blood on vacation, you'll find God in pain/And if by his own hand his spirit flies/Take his body as a relic to be canonized/And so he gets to die a saint but she will always be the whore

"Every single lyric is so fucking powerful. the instrumentals hit every time. it’s such a powerful and moving and motivational song like yeah, everything is fucked up and ruined and will never be the same again. but keep moving. get up (coward). fix your heart. god it’s so good."

“Aside from being MCRs return song after 10 years. There's so much pain, and rage, and just deeply felt emotion. When I saw them live, screaming GET UP COWARD at the end is the single loudest sound I have ever made in my life."

"It's just... a spiritual feeling that washes over me whenever I listen to this song. I feel like I die and am reborn thousands of times throughout its six minute duration. The lyrics are poetry. A battle between giving up and letting the decay take over you or overcoming it and getting up no matter the consequences. But it's not like a gym song to work out to. It's a battle song to make it though the dark cave that is depression and suicidal thoughts and trauma. It's a song that brings you back from the dead."

I/Me/Myself (Will Wood)

I wish I could be a girl, and that way/You'd wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend/Am I pretty enough to love back?/No not yet/I wish I could be a girl, and really/I'd prefer it if you would use I/Me/Myself/Am I pretty enough, am I pretty enough to fucking die?

"Do you KNOW what the line “I am quantum physics, my witness brings me into existence” has DONE to me. to my psyche. because it’s like. okay so I’m so sorry if you know all of this already but in quantum physics theres something called the observer effect, where if you you measure something, it affects it. Like by checking tyre pressure, you have to let some air out, so you can’t physically measure it without changing what you’re measuring. in normal day to day life (like the tyre) this doesn’t really matter, because the effect is so small that you can basically ignore it. but quantum physics deals with really REALLY small shit so every single effect matters. Basically. observation of an object changes it’s state. this line is about acceptance. the euphoria of someone calling you by your preferred pronouns or chosen name. observation changing your state. It might seem small to others- someone who’s never been misgendered in their life it’s not even something that would occur to them, but to a trans/nb person who’s being observed, being SEEN? it’s everything. AND THE SHEER PUNCH OF “say my name like a slur, but I’ve been called worse” like. FUCK. oaky I think I’ve rambled enough about One Entire Line so lemme just wrap this up by saying that Will Wood is a cis man who ID’ as genderqueer for a while before realising that he wasn’t, he just had some internalised shit about being gnc and not traditionally masculine to work through, so he wrote this song about his frustrations with gender in general and about how clinging to an identity that didn’t fit him can hurt you"

[dewdr0pz]

ASK TIME ASK TIME!! i am officially raiding your asks now, take this as a threat /j

mkay sooooo, thoughts on lovejoy member!reader x wilbur?? 🤭 you could write about their sweet loveydovey moments and the way they blow kisses to each other on stage, or maybe their relationship is secret so focus on all the little things they do to show affection without the fans (and maybe friends too) knowing they’re together? like holding hands under tables, the lil glances they give each other, aaaah!!

apologies if you’ve written smth similar already, my memory is failing me rn, but if u have then do not worry because ill be back asking for other random shit too LMAO <3

🎸 Lovejoymember!reader x Wilbur HCs🎸

a/n: yoooo this is a really cool idea :D

tags: @vibestillaxxx@joviepog@ax-y10@themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza @zuuriell @somebody-v @goosebeing@ogelizasoot @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @r0ckstardr3amgal

contains: loads of fluff, petnames, a single ass slap, & cheesiness

This man is CONSTANTLY flirting with you on stage. We're talking ass pats, blowing kisses, quick pecks between lyrics, etc. He finds it funny whenever the crowd screams & cheers when you two flirt.

When you two first started dating, you both didn't want to tell anyone, so you couldn't be affectionate around each other. Or so you thought. He'd hold your hand under tables, make sure you two were sharing a hotel room &/or bed, kiss the back of your hand when nobody's looking, give you hugs, tickle you (we all know he would tickle you. he did it to Mark, why not you?), etc.

If you were a drum player, he'd randomly rest his chin on your head if you were sitting down to play

During studio time, he's hugging you from behind & being suuuuuper cuddly (while grossing out the other members in the process)

During concerts, he's randomly making suggestive, cheesy, or flirty jokes to you to make the crowd laugh.

^^ "Hey, Y/N?" Wilbur said to you into the mic, looking in your direction. "Yeah?" you replied, trying to catch your breath from the last song. "What's up?" "I have a really important question for you," he said. "The crowd would really love to hear this from you." "What is it?" you replied. "Everybody's been wondering what you do for a living besides being sexy," he grins. This causes you to turn beet red & the crowd, the rest of the band, & Wilbur begin to laugh.

If you were a good singer, he'd beg on his hands & knees ask you to do duets or backing solos in new songs

If you were artsy, he'd also beg on his hands & knees ask you to help design the merch

If the band had to get on a plane or train to get to the next concert location, he'd be SO CUDDLY!!! He'd lay his head in your lap or vice versa, he'd hold your hand, he'd share an earbud with you, he'd let you watch him play The Sims on his laptop, he'd lean his head on your shoulder or vice versa, etc.

When the band goes out to eat or just goes out in general, he's paying for & doing EVERYTHING for you. You got something to eat? Don't even lay a finger on your wallet. You're in a store & you mention being hungry? He's grabbing every single snack & drink that you like. You shiver slightly? He's taking off his jumper or hoodie & giving it to you, no questions asked. You mention your legs hurting? You're being carried, either piggyback, on his shoulders, or bridal style.

[puhpandas]

MCR kill all your friends is soo beckory/gregory & tony

"well you can hide a lot about yourself" rab lying to tony (and ellis) about everything basically. being a normal kid and having parents and caring at all. especially in tonys case just lying and stringing him along

"cause you can sleep in a coffin but the past aint through with you" basically just like, everything with tonys dad being old news and the coffin line being about everyone putting it to rest, & "the past aint through with you" being tony never letting it go and letting it constantly affect him in the present and fuel him to solve mysteries

"cause its tragic with a capital T" just eveyrthing about Tony fr lmao. even in this scenario where he doesnt die the line fits his canon story. every single part of his character is tragic. can also apply to Gregory in this situation bc hes tragic af too

"cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends + and we all te together when we bury our friends" rab and vanny and the glamrocks and stuff after successfully stopping another person from getting too close to the truth by killing tony, his friend

"its been eight bitter years since ive been seeing your face" tony surviving the attack and spending a lot of time searching for gregory and ggy afterwards with no luck & it taking a long time to get leads & all that turmoil

"and youre walking away, and i will die in this place" tony in present time dying in the pizzaplex with gregory walking away

"sometimes you scrape and sink so low" can apply to both tony and rab with tony being in like the worst mental state ever and rabs reputation in tonys eyes being ruined by rab sinking so low as to kill to in tonys eyes just not get in trouble for hacking the plex

"im shocked of what youre capable of" the betrayal between tony and gregory with tony being shocked of what he did to him

"So, tell me all about your problems, I was killing before killing was cool" rab stringing tony along and listening to what he has to say and learning to understand him better than anyone else to keep him interested in him for cover, and rab also having been killing the entire time he was doing it + before tonys big ggy obsession

"You're so cool, you're so cool, so cool" tony liking gregory more than ellis and viewing him as higher above other ppl (because of the traits he shares with tony)

first half being a repeat of the era of tony searching for gregory with another year being added showing how long its taking and how crazy tony is. "youre walking away and i will die in this place" remembering the day gregory walked away from him and holding onto the memory with both hands to fuel him to search + nightmares and trauma, hes still mentally stuck in the pizzaplex experiencing gregorys betrayal

second half being tonys determination after surviving + escaping to get to the bottom of rab after he failed to take him down, PLUS gregory during SB after being freed at this point surviving his night at the pizzaplex

another repeat showing that tony is still in the trenches, with frustration being shown in the curse. pre meeting where they finally reunite after everuthing when tony is in the worst mental state of his life and gregory is traumatized from the pizzaplex. them metaphorically walking away in opposite directions from eachother but eventally finding their way back to eachother what would be post-song

[tomorrowillbeyou]

alright, i'm not sure how much of this is already commonly known but i have been investigating the source of these images:

and this video:

a comment on this blog post suggests that they were taken in sydney:

the upload date of the video also dates the events to before january 2008. we know that tucker rule and james dewees were there. the song they're singing is gloves by reggie and the full effect:

for these reasons, i THOUGHT that the photos and video were taken at the sydney entertainment center on november 30th 2011. reggie and the full effect opened for mcr that night and gloves was on their setlist:

this is backed up by this youtube comment on the dancing queen video talking about fluxuation in sydney (i unfortunately can't find the video it mentions but the channel is here):

tucker talks about playing for mcr in australia in 2007 in this podcast clip:

this was what i THOUGHT. and i was going to post this but i thought i should do a little more research just to see if i could find anything more. and i stumbled across this livejournal post:

every single image on the post is broken. but i'm pretty confident that the pictures we all know and love were in there.

^this one especially seems to line up. they were taken at a bar called the lobo plantation in sydney on november 29th 2011.

the captions of the other pictures make me SO mad that they were deleted. im so fucking curious. well thank you to deleted livejournal user theyoungpretend for (probably) being the one to post these historical images. if anyone knows of any way to access the rest pls lmk (tinypic went down and all the images hosted on there were deleted)

also this picture seems to have been taken on the same night??

here are some more (questionably worded unfortunately. like some of these are really insane) posts which mention what happened:

x (i think this may be from one of the people in the picture above?), x, x, x (hidden in. ryan ross/matt cortez fic?), x, x, x, x, x, x (masterpost where almost all the links are broken). ive saved all of these on the wayback machine in case they ever get deleted.

this iconic ray moment was the day after btw:

if anyone has any more info or any pics PLEASE let me know!!!!!!

[tisamustdie]

Intro post!! (๑°ㅁ°๑)‼✧

Hiii! My name's Tisa, I'm 16 and I'm from Serbia! (๑'ᴗ')ゞ

I love listening to music, baking, walking, writing and reading! I've been trying to get back into painting and drawing but I always forget to practice ☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*

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My favourite school subjects are literature, psychology and art. I'd love to work as a therapist (even though my passion is writing) (^_^♪)

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Some music I like are bands like My Chemical Romance (literally every single post here is about MCR), Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, old Panic! At the Disco, old(er) Fall Out Boy, Kittie, Jack Off Jill, Hole, Frank Iero's solo work, Gerard Way's solo work, The Used, Fit For Rivals, Die So Fluid, Black Veil Brides, Flyleaf, Green Day and a LOT more ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡

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My (current) favourite song is Sleep by MCR (let's ignore the fact that I have a dozen more favourite songs by MCR) or ".stitches." by Frank Iero, and my favorite album of all time is Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge or Stomachaches! ٩( ᐛ )و

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Other things I like are Sally Face (I've been obsessed with it since 6th grade), literature, a random poet from my hometown, beef soup, cheap super sweet perfumes, my room, super long video essays, Edgar Allan Poe, comics (I haven't read many, I'm really trying to get into them more) snails, my headphones and backup wired earbuds, baking cookies, pins and badges, stupid socks, band shirts and romanticism in art and literature! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ��-⁠)⁠✧

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My pronouns are she/they, I'm bi (⁠＠⁠_⁠＠⁠;⁠)

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I hate math and anything to do with it, Val Velocity (this is a Val Velocity hate blog people), getting up early and Thomas Pynchon (I've read one book of his for an extracurricular literature class, hated it and I've been vocally hating him since then, even though I haven't read anything else by him) ︵⁠ヽ⁠(⁠`⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠︵

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I'm super shy and won't approach anyone, be it irl or online, so if anyone by any miraculous chance wants to be my friend please text first (∩´﹏`∩)

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I'm an INFP, and for my astrology baddies I'm a Sagittarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Cancer rising! I wanna get into astrology and crystals and all that but idk where to start lol ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

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I love making lyrics posts, so here's my MCR lyrics masterlist and other band lyrics masterlist, in case you wanna check 'em out! (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠)

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And also!!! This is me (⁠ﾉﾟ⁠0ﾟ⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠

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(yeah, I put two songs because i simply CANNOT choose inbetween them)

(and my insta is @/krvavapesma ^_⁠^)

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Demolition Lovers

Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Released: 2002

The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.

[Verse 1] Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition, too" I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things We put each other through and [Verse 2] I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running [Chorus] But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold [Post-Chorus] Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every… [Interlude] All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] As lead rains will pass on through Our phantoms forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame We're burning forever and ever Know how much I want to show you You're the only one Like a bed of roses There's a dozen reasons in this gun [Outro] And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!

I Will Follow You into the Dark

Written By: Benjamin Gibbard

Artist: Death Cab for Cutie

Released: 2006

Even on a concept album whose main theme is death, “I’ll Follow You Into The Dark” is a standout moving song about the transcendental power of love, even when that boundary is death. This song was recorded unexpectedly while the band was having technical difficulties in studio. Chris Walla, Death Cab for Cutie’s lead guitarist and producer, said the following. “We were going to track the vocal for another song and there was something screwy happening with the headphone mix. We were having problems, so I said, “Ben, this is gonna be a few minutes. Take a break.” Ben’s version of taking a break while we addressed the headphone problem was to pick up this Stella guitar that he loves and start playing this song we were planning on recording sometime later during the sessions. He was still coming through the vocal mic as he was playing this, and it was sounding really cool to me, so I went up and said, “Let’s track this real quick,” and we did and that’s what’s on the record. It was a mono recording with no effects. Nothing. I added a little compression and de-essed it a bit. It’s really weird. It’s totally there and it’s happening.”

[Verse 1] Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark [Chorus] If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Verse 2] In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black And I held my tongue as she told me, "Son Fear is the heart of love," so I never went back [Chorus] If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Verse 3] You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary and the soles of your shoes Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now But it's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon In the blackest of rooms [Chorus] And if Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied And illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Outro] Then I'll follow you into the dark

[astradyke]

MY EXPERIENCE W/ TIT TOUR (tysons 2)

( written while looping I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR, and also a car alarm going off outside my dorm room repeatedly :') )

NON-SPOILER SECTION:

SO many sweet people in line. someone gave us (me, my best friend, and my other beautiful friend) custom dan & phil stickers (pictured above), there was a lovely person in cat whiskers making sure people knew the difference between the gen admission & silver line, etc. phannies have the coolest fashion sense all the sick lovely lesbians were making me nervous... <3

s/o to my best friend's running capacity we were first in merch line!!! I am so endlessly happy with my photocard haul especially the uni hoodie one that one is my FAVORITE, also I love this long-sleeve so much. I almost got more merch but I held myself back and I think that was a good call! Also a super cool phannie made custom photocards and I got a silly dan one :D

y'all already saw but I met Clo @bitchslapblastoids who is the first mutual I have ever met in real life ever! between you and me... she is super kind and also really cool :]

our seats were so good!! balcony like row F or whatever but it worked out <3 our seatmate was also very kind!!!

pre-show people danced to HOT TO GO! and someone held up a Palestine flag and we all cheered! and people were moshing to von dutch which is so beautiful to me

SPOILER SECTION:

List of favorite jokes included: "Now our show passes the Bechdel test!" "I have kind of an aloof sociopath vibe going. ... which has worked for me :)" "[I am not satisfied on screen] What was that about? // I think I was just horny that day." "Scared of my life without you when I kill you!" "Dan had depression :D!!" "Enough about the gay, we've already done the gay// Enough about the depression, we've already talked about the depression."

No "sorry daddy, I mean father" line, which is devastating, BUT we didn't get the whole 'do you think Dan Howell' can commit schpiel with the wedding... much to think about

our conspiracies were pumpkin, faked sleepless night 3, bar, and wedding! i deeply wanted the other conspiracies i am so not going to lie but it's okay...

our "one minute" tangent was about electricity, clo made a post about this but they made a God and Adam joke because Phil tried to electrocute Dan and it failed so they were just awkwardly touching fingertips for a period of time

Nothing could have prepared me for the Phil on top of Dan choking him with the llama hat thing. Like i knew it was going to happen but still nothing could have prepared me. i think i fully grabbed my best friend's arm and shoulders and shook them a bit

our confessions and like nolemodel bit were really funny shout out DMV phannies!!!

Really made me sad when phil made the joke about babysitting like NO!!! YOUR CONTENT IS THE REASON I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN MY PARANOIA IS BAD!!!!!!!! I LOVE U HIATUS YR CONTENT PHIL!!!! But his whole thing about the hiatus being a good thing in the end because it brought us here... <333

every segment felt perfectly timed and the entire show was just so funny and good. Like ultimately i can yearn for having gotten different conspiracies or slightly different vibes but altogether it was incredible.

THE SONG WAS LIFE-CHANGING. I knew more about it thru spoilers than I had thought but either way not only was it so fucking good, like, I'm going to get I-D-G-A-F it saved me tattooed. I have decided this.

WRAP UP THOUGHTS:

I first got into Dan and Phil when I was 11/12-- my first video was post Daniel Howell rebrand, and it was Daniel and Depression, I'll give you three guesses as to why my friend at the time recommended that video. I was obviously a die-hard phan at the time, reading phic and watching the compilations and obsessed with their gaming videos. I remember being like, unfathomably depressed trying to do math homework in bed, and just 'secretely' watching their videos instead. I can remember exactly when the first WDAPTEO dropped, and like how much I wanted to go to interactive introverts but was too scared to (I think I'm glad I didn't go for personal reasons) but my friends did go. I remember I was leaving summer gym class before I started HS when Basically I'm Gay dropped, and watching it-- but I was 13 almost 14, closeted, and while it resonated with me it didn't really hit me that strongly? I remember being most taken aback by the confirmation of their relationship, and the conclusion Dan left about his own sexuality had an impact on me wrt rejecting the constraints of labels, but it didn't really hit me crazily. during hiatus years I watched solo AP semi often but so much was happening... obviously, when the hiatus returned, i came back full force. when it's summer and i can't sleep at night, I watch AP hiatus years solo content; I watched most of the Dystopia Dailys; I saw We're All Doomed's digital release w/ the same best friend I went to TIT with; and obviously, you all have seen me talk about their collaborative content. But after that time, maybe even a bit before the hiatus ended, I rewatched Basically I'm Gay. after all I went through in high school (nothing quite like his experiences, but aspects of it resonated through), that video hit me like a fucking truck-- it made me realize the inherent amount that my queer identity played in my trauma, and it like... made me really emotional lol. also, Phil's openness about his chronic illness has meant a lot especially as I battle with my own-- not chronic illness, but, physical health battles. So when they sang IDGAF it saved me, that was like fucking earth-shattering to me, because they did save me! from when i was 12 years old struggling to do work, wondering why i was so tired every day but at least having them to cheer me up-- to being 19 years old, joints aching and emotionally stressed, watching their pizza mukbang 2 and seeing how much happier they are, how much happier I am. they saved me. and i love them so, so fucking much.

On a very different note, seeing them live has colored my whole, uh, envisioning Dan Howell being trapped in my head in order to cope with my day to day mental isolation, issue, as being like... maybe not the move. so i'm trying to get more used to the quiet of my own head, but hey, over the years, they've helped a lot with that.

I wish i could have met them just to say all these things i'm realizing now, after seeing the show. but TLDR: TIT tysons 2 was the best night of my life. i love them, i love them, i love them, i love them, and i hope they know. i dunno how to move forward with my life after an experience like last night, just, God. i love you dan and phil. i love you phandom. it saved me. TIT saved me.

[oddvanilla]

Honey, I'm pregnant and it's yours

Also Petey misses you

Im scared even writing this, I know I'm gonna get smth along the lines of 'go the fuck away' but I jus can't help it

I know u know who this is

Also I'm also very scared of you at the moment

Thank you, and I know it seems weird but I can't help it but, I love you [I seem creepy, sorry, also u don't have to accept it]

Bye bye, u probably won't even post this but I've been killing myself thinking about doing this

Thank you

Also Petey really does miss u 🤣

Also just thanks again

[Also sorry I'm not like talking about our break up or anything Id just prefer to do that if I knew u want to too and not like this]

Bye bye for reals now, id put a silly photo but I'm doing this in anon for some reason :)

Bye bye

Also I know you probably didn't expect this to happen

But hey I needed to do something about it

Bye bye now

HOLY CRAP HOW DID I NEVER SEE THIS??? it must've gotten lost in my notifications or something idk...

HAI R**N* !!! I remember your name and every time I try to type my own, yours always comes first. Even when I'm filling up forums or crap...

I'm sorry for scaring you off!!! I still care about you. And for every time I forget to, here I'll just say: I still love you 🫶 even after everything that happened. You're like impossible to hate. I can't help it either🤷‍♀️

My sister still checks on you, even you know that. She tells me what happened to you and that kinda crap. I feel bad all the time, and I'm sorry. I would've said this way earlier If I could, but stuff happens,, YK?? It hurts me so bad knowing what I caused. I didn't mean to do this to you, and even back when we were friends I tried holding on because I can't let you ruin yourself. I miss what we had, that's one fact.

I do care if you kill yourself. I DO care if you slit your wrist. I do still care about you in general. All I wish you is love, that's pretty much. I even asked my sister to go and give you asks just so you're not alone anymore. I don't care if she replaces me,, hey at least you got a friend!!!

But I never deleted everything we shared. All the screenshots from our conversations are like a comfort place, even. I still listen to every song you used to spam. I know I hate pencey prep and frank iero, but I still listen to their music because it reminds me of you. I only hated MCR because I wanted you to have your own thing. I want you to focus on yourself and crap. But now I just went back to listening to MCR because it's all I have left of you. You deserve a real apology from me if you just let us talk this out!!!

I can't replace you, and you know that. I call people my husband or wife but I still have you in mind. You're the best person on here I know, and even though I hated it or pretended it, I miss waking up to lots of messages. Now I still wake up to those but from lots of different people. I don't like it that way, I wish you could just come back. I waited for you SO long and I gave up. I want you back and I would do anything for that. But I didn't go talk to you directly because you know I want you to have space. I miss having only ONE person to go to. I didn't ignore you because I had other people to talk to!!! If anything, my parents expected so much from me like school and other crap that I don't have time to reply to anyone either!!!

Now it's been rough and stuff. I almost have nobody to open up to. Everyone I know is either always asleep or always can't talk. But you're always there and that's one thing nobody can beat you at. I don't even text people first anymore because I feel like I'm a bother and when I'm with you it just feels easier because. You're accepting.

I never told anyone about what we had in detail. I never tried to do the same things WE did with anyone else either. Nobody has to know about what letters are missing in p** w*y h*g*er. Nobody has to know why we hated your brother and how he was a bitch. I don't even send people frerard fanfics anymore because I don't want a friendship story like ours just a 2.0 version. I think you're the one for me, if anything. I love you and you didn't mess up, I did.

I don't want you to leave me alone, I want you back. If YOU can do this then we could build everything back. just know that even if you don't want me, it's fine. But I won't try to find anyone better,, I'll just sit back, I guess🙏🙏 tell mamacita im not done with rizzing her up🙄🙄

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

hii considering youre the dukexiety guy, do you think you could help me understand the appeal of the ship? /gen

im just generally not too into ships but i really wanna understand them, even if i don't end up liking them soo... could you give me your dukexiety thesis? im so curious

-🌠

Heyo! I, the Dukexiety Guy™ can certainly try due to mostly being experienced in unintentionally converting people so this should be fun XD /light hearted (Quick note before I begin even if you don't end up shipping them that's completely valid I know it's not everyone's cup of tea I still had a good time with this and if you do I'm honored I was able to help <3) Now first things first:

• Vee's iconic "Purple and Green seem to go together" quote from Fitting In (Pretty self-explanatory us Dukexiety shippers frame that quote in every room and make it our motto cause he's absolutely correct)

• Their functions (Ree tends to effect Vee the most therefore making him the biggest lil shit to get his Emo's attention all the time)

• Canonically have the same music tastes (Both have MCR on their Spotify playlists and the added bonus of Ree having a Queen song on his and Vee's having an MCR & The Used cover of a Queen song they vibe together Your Honor <3)

• Both love Horror/Spooky stuff (They are the Spooky Gays and they can and will make it known to the others that it's Halloween)

• Both love scaring people (They are lil shit4lil shit /light hearted)

• Both wear eyeshadow (They absolutely do each other's makeup)

• Ree's fond smile at Vee while he's monologuing about how he's not scared of him anymore (L O O K at him that chaotic Duke is in L O V E)

• Vee's smile when Ree says "You Tickle Me Emo" (He L O V E S him and he knows it)

• Don't think I need to explain this

• Ree's excitement on getting Vee for Secret Santa (He handcrafted him a gift with L O V E and made their son Mr. Fuzzy and of course Vee oddly knowing what that ball of chaos names his shower drain)

• Their spots are next to each other (They can hold hands and be near each other whenever they want during meetings <3)

• They have a wide dynamic (Literally anything can go either way for them like you can put them in any situation and it just works examples: Who confessed, Who gave the first kiss, Who's the flirt and who's the flustered, Who's the tallest and who's the shortest (If you have those types of hcs), Who's the first to use a petname, Who gets the other into their hobbies, etc.)

• Both of their animal associations are 8 limbed creatures (Kraken and Spidey with the hilarious bonus of fandom giving them the opposite Rat and Cat)

• And last but not least because this is already long enough as it is: They have a history and most likely know each other like the back of their hands if quizzed <3

[chasing-that-jackson]

Look, I didn't want to be praetor. Or be responsible for people, but here I am!

Hey, before you ask. Yes, my dad's the famous Percy Jackson, yes, my mother is Annabeth Chase. But I'm not going to live in their shadow! I'm making my own path! But before all the epic monologues, I'm Charlotte Sally Jackson, but you can just call me Charlie. Or anything other than "Da Big C" (I WILL fight you, Cassie). I'm the praetor of New Rome, along with Ambrose Asher! Now here's some stuff about me !

Name: Charlotte Sally Chase - Jackson.

Alias: Charlie, Char-char , Goldfish (come on, dad.), Praetor Jackson, Jackson, Lottie.

Age: 16 Sexuality: Bisexual :D

Weapons: a trident named "Thalassa" (the sea) given to her by Poseidon. It can change shape at will, as it is made of pure water, her mother's Yankees cap.

Relations: Perseus Jackson (father) , Annabeth Chase-Jackson (mother), Cassandra Hestia Chase (sister), Sally Jackson (Grandmother) , Poseidon, Athena.

Personality: changeable like the sea" and hard to predict — with the important exception that she is extremely loyal to her friends and family. Sarcastic and goody at most times, but works great under pressure. Doubtful in her own skills but she believes a hell of a lot in others. The occasional temper is present, of course, but she wouldn't be a Jackson without it, amirite?

Fatal flaw: Overly giving/overly dedicated. She gives every part of her to a task, to a person. Even if she doesn't have anymore to give. She'll die trying.

Relationship with family: HUGE daddy's girl, but they always just roast each other. Loves her mom too, of course, but sometimes she's just too..overbearing. Too strict. Gets along great with her sister, who is 1 year younger than her. Her relationship with her grandma and grandpa (Sally and Paul) is also pretty good, they spoil her rotten (in a good way!). Vibes with Poseidon, kind of vibes with Athena until..a certain event. Now she's steely towards her. She's fond of Hestia and Apollo as they resonate with her.

Fears: small spaces, loss of loved ones/family, tests, drowning.

Sexuality : Bisexual, demiromantic

Hobbies: playing the guitar, occasional drawing, surfing, listening to audiobooks, joking around and learning new things. My sister, Cassandra is 15!

"You are too giving. You will give yourself to save others, to make others better, to make others feel better, even if you are great danger. In pain, you smile at those around you because you know they'll hurt if you dont. And in the end, legacy of Poseidon, it will be your downfall."

Songs that play constantly on my battered headphones (dad, buy me new ones , please :()

Seven nation army - The white stripes

Teenagers - MCR

Run, boy Run - Woodkid

What's up danger? - Blackway and Black Caviar

And many, many more! Feel free to come ask for song recs, because my music taste is as amazing as my fighting skills, haha.

People I know!:

@percy-jackson-xxx - My super amazing cool dad whose kinda stupid .... (I love you please don't throw me into the pool 😔)

@ineedtoescapefromreality - Echo and Rosalyn Mclean! (Rosalyn, teach me how to be as cool as you :[ and Echo just like. High five, dude ✌️), Auntie Piper and Shel's kids!

@daffy-not-a-duck - Daphne (I am not writing your complete name dude it's so long???) Uncle Nico and Will's daughter! (I like your parents, but you?? ew..........)

@iggy-mini-miny-moe - IGGGGGGYYYYY AYYYY (adhd bestie frfr, let's go commit arson) Uncle Leo and Jason's son! (Uncle Leo's tacos are amazing btw) @violent-cinnamonroll - Aria!( i appreciate chu bestie <333) Auntie Clarisse and Silena's kid! (Auntie clarisse scares me. pls dont pummel me to ground :()

@olivernotfound - Ollieeee! (Better than his sister :D) Uncle Nico and Wills second kid! (Who I like a lot more. High five, bro)

@notwillingtobefound - Will Valdez!! (Bros music taste is top tier?? How??) Uncle Leo and Jason's kid! @the-poison-and-the-sky - Belldonna Jackson-Chase! My older sister! (she hears everything/j) @daredevil-larue - Lucine La Rue ! Auntie Clarisse and Auntie Silena's other daughter! (super cool blue hair hehe <33) @praetor-ambrose-asher - Ambrose Asher, My fellow praetor! (muscles. end sentence. thats it. MUSCLE-)

Ooc notes:

Occasionally, other characters will appear on this blog as I imagine them. This will include Percy , Annabeth, and Cassie! (Any post by them will have their name at the end)

Tags:

praetor charlie on the chase - Charlotte ic

cassie snoops around - notes from cassie

parents are parenting - notes from Annabeth or Percy

the jackson two - both Cassie and charlie together!

In the praetors- ooc

Duck tales- with the idiotic (and pretty) Daffy Duck

Fireboy and watergirl - w/mah bro Iggy!!! We besties fr (stop burning down my freaking kitchen??)

Deathboy and Skatergirl - w/mah other bro ollie!! (Stop being so oblivious because Iggy clearly l- *gets slapped*) the ultimate cool girls - w/super cool girl, Rosalyn! awkward silence - w/ echo (quiet, but awesome)

Please remember, this is not a multi character blog, but just appearances by others! Thanks for reading. No nsfw . I'm a minor 😎.

So, that's me! Ever need anything, I'm always up in the praetors office, or around the stables. Till we meet again, this is Charlie signing off!

That was so cheesy, Char. - Cassie