#astra.fave

[astradyke]

MY EXPERIENCE W/ TIT TOUR (tysons 2)

( written while looping I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR, and also a car alarm going off outside my dorm room repeatedly :') )

NON-SPOILER SECTION:

SO many sweet people in line. someone gave us (me, my best friend, and my other beautiful friend) custom dan & phil stickers (pictured above), there was a lovely person in cat whiskers making sure people knew the difference between the gen admission & silver line, etc. phannies have the coolest fashion sense all the sick lovely lesbians were making me nervous... <3

s/o to my best friend's running capacity we were first in merch line!!! I am so endlessly happy with my photocard haul especially the uni hoodie one that one is my FAVORITE, also I love this long-sleeve so much. I almost got more merch but I held myself back and I think that was a good call! Also a super cool phannie made custom photocards and I got a silly dan one :D

y'all already saw but I met Clo @bitchslapblastoids who is the first mutual I have ever met in real life ever! between you and me... she is super kind and also really cool :]

our seats were so good!! balcony like row F or whatever but it worked out <3 our seatmate was also very kind!!!

pre-show people danced to HOT TO GO! and someone held up a Palestine flag and we all cheered! and people were moshing to von dutch which is so beautiful to me

SPOILER SECTION:

List of favorite jokes included: "Now our show passes the Bechdel test!" "I have kind of an aloof sociopath vibe going. ... which has worked for me :)" "[I am not satisfied on screen] What was that about? // I think I was just horny that day." "Scared of my life without you when I kill you!" "Dan had depression :D!!" "Enough about the gay, we've already done the gay// Enough about the depression, we've already talked about the depression."

No "sorry daddy, I mean father" line, which is devastating, BUT we didn't get the whole 'do you think Dan Howell' can commit schpiel with the wedding... much to think about

our conspiracies were pumpkin, faked sleepless night 3, bar, and wedding! i deeply wanted the other conspiracies i am so not going to lie but it's okay...

our "one minute" tangent was about electricity, clo made a post about this but they made a God and Adam joke because Phil tried to electrocute Dan and it failed so they were just awkwardly touching fingertips for a period of time

Nothing could have prepared me for the Phil on top of Dan choking him with the llama hat thing. Like i knew it was going to happen but still nothing could have prepared me. i think i fully grabbed my best friend's arm and shoulders and shook them a bit

our confessions and like nolemodel bit were really funny shout out DMV phannies!!!

Really made me sad when phil made the joke about babysitting like NO!!! YOUR CONTENT IS THE REASON I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN MY PARANOIA IS BAD!!!!!!!! I LOVE U HIATUS YR CONTENT PHIL!!!! But his whole thing about the hiatus being a good thing in the end because it brought us here... <333

every segment felt perfectly timed and the entire show was just so funny and good. Like ultimately i can yearn for having gotten different conspiracies or slightly different vibes but altogether it was incredible.

THE SONG WAS LIFE-CHANGING. I knew more about it thru spoilers than I had thought but either way not only was it so fucking good, like, I'm going to get I-D-G-A-F it saved me tattooed. I have decided this.

WRAP UP THOUGHTS:

I first got into Dan and Phil when I was 11/12-- my first video was post Daniel Howell rebrand, and it was Daniel and Depression, I'll give you three guesses as to why my friend at the time recommended that video. I was obviously a die-hard phan at the time, reading phic and watching the compilations and obsessed with their gaming videos. I remember being like, unfathomably depressed trying to do math homework in bed, and just 'secretely' watching their videos instead. I can remember exactly when the first WDAPTEO dropped, and like how much I wanted to go to interactive introverts but was too scared to (I think I'm glad I didn't go for personal reasons) but my friends did go. I remember I was leaving summer gym class before I started HS when Basically I'm Gay dropped, and watching it-- but I was 13 almost 14, closeted, and while it resonated with me it didn't really hit me that strongly? I remember being most taken aback by the confirmation of their relationship, and the conclusion Dan left about his own sexuality had an impact on me wrt rejecting the constraints of labels, but it didn't really hit me crazily. during hiatus years I watched solo AP semi often but so much was happening... obviously, when the hiatus returned, i came back full force. when it's summer and i can't sleep at night, I watch AP hiatus years solo content; I watched most of the Dystopia Dailys; I saw We're All Doomed's digital release w/ the same best friend I went to TIT with; and obviously, you all have seen me talk about their collaborative content. But after that time, maybe even a bit before the hiatus ended, I rewatched Basically I'm Gay. after all I went through in high school (nothing quite like his experiences, but aspects of it resonated through), that video hit me like a fucking truck-- it made me realize the inherent amount that my queer identity played in my trauma, and it like... made me really emotional lol. also, Phil's openness about his chronic illness has meant a lot especially as I battle with my own-- not chronic illness, but, physical health battles. So when they sang IDGAF it saved me, that was like fucking earth-shattering to me, because they did save me! from when i was 12 years old struggling to do work, wondering why i was so tired every day but at least having them to cheer me up-- to being 19 years old, joints aching and emotionally stressed, watching their pizza mukbang 2 and seeing how much happier they are, how much happier I am. they saved me. and i love them so, so fucking much.

On a very different note, seeing them live has colored my whole, uh, envisioning Dan Howell being trapped in my head in order to cope with my day to day mental isolation, issue, as being like... maybe not the move. so i'm trying to get more used to the quiet of my own head, but hey, over the years, they've helped a lot with that.

I wish i could have met them just to say all these things i'm realizing now, after seeing the show. but TLDR: TIT tysons 2 was the best night of my life. i love them, i love them, i love them, i love them, and i hope they know. i dunno how to move forward with my life after an experience like last night, just, God. i love you dan and phil. i love you phandom. it saved me. TIT saved me.

[astradyke]

Every single one of your text posts hits

THANK YOU :D i am fueled by the energies of phandom soldiers who are repeatedly and chronically funny as fuck. if you are a phannie suffering from being funny as fuck you might be entitled to financial compensation please contact a lawyer. etc.

[astradyke]

dude. idk what you are on but genuinely i love a respect you soo highly. like whenever you ramble about dnp i always leave fucking emotional, like you put into words what i wish i could and you do it in a stunning way

i’m sorry if this sounds weird but it’s genuinely admirable

this is the sweetest ask ever thank you friend :( this means a lot to me!! i really admire this community as a whole because i think so many folks are incredible at expressing really beautiful sentiments about dnp and love; i have a really meaningful time toying around with different words and phrasings to try to express my thoughts :P and it always is really sweet to hear that people like the stuff i say! because i do just yap but yapping about love is quite a nice pastime i think :D

this is a really nice thing to hear it brightened up my evening a bit ^_^ thank you so much lovely <3 (ps idk what im on either they drive me crazy)

[astradyke]

every time i’m on here and then remember i have laundry to go deal with i think of you. maybe laundry will be our always (manchester apartment ref if you will)

this ask was heaven sent to me because i forgot that today is my scheduled laundry day. i've lowkey been on top of it since i made that post but i hope YOU know that whenever i do laundry i think of you (+ all the mutuals i saw bitching about their laundry that very same day)... this is so hashtag manchester hashtag apartment. to be honest

[astradyke]

Hi hello this is the author of Experience is Key, on anon because I like to keep my ao3 account siloed from everything else for my own sanity-- I just happened across the recommendation you made for my fic on the d&p tag and I wanted to say thank you so much! It's not that someone is so nice about my overly sincere/silly/unhinged rpf erotica on the internet and you totally made my week :)

woah hi!!! totally understand that, it's sweet that you saw it :) i really am such a fan of your writing style and, well, you heard all my gushing about experience is key :] also a major Babylon fan btw, i saw come along updated too so i need to get back on that but YEAH :D Unhinged/sincere/silly erotica is so deeply important to the soul and i've been meaning to prattle on about how much your fic encapsulates that for a while now, glad i finally did it :]

have a lovely one <333

[astradyke]

helloooo I’m fucking crying at your daddy kink post you’re so funny and also a talented writer and the post is making me laugh so hard

anyways I hope you are doing well you’re fucking hilarious

HAHA THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOUUU ^_^ i'm so glad i made you laugh anon i do it all for you <3

[astradyke]

[ID: the Pheal sitting on the gaming room floor, staring southwest. end ID]

my best friend :)

[astradyke]

good luck in uni! im doing a grad as well and i know how difficult it is to juggle uni life and phannie blog but i wish you the best, youre one of my fav blogs and i always come check whenever you post bc i love ur takes a lot <3

THIS IS SO SWEET thank you :( <3 good luck to you too!!! i hope university treats you well; are you getting a graduate degree? that's so exciting :D i'm undergraduate right now it's my second year ^_^ it's crazy to me that i could be anybody's favorite blog i'm just a mentally ill teen with a lot of thoughts about Phil Lester's hat but! i dunno, yeah <3

[astradyke]

Good luck at Uni this year! I wish you all the best :)

thank you so much anon this is very sweet :( my first order of business is to sit several of my friends down and explain the recent lore of the six white YouTube gays (dnp, connor franta, tyler oakley, troye, and joey graceffa)

[astradyke]

just wanted to say that you're one of my favorite blogs. i often see you under other people's posts and i'm like omg it's you!!

:((( this is so sweet thank you... one thing about me is i like to bury under other people's posts like a mole ^_^ i hide in there and sniff things out and sometimes say funny things i hope

[astradyke]

Hi!! You genuinely seem so sweet I love your blog :)

hi! thank you so much :D you seem lovely i hope you are doing well :)

[astradyke]

Happy Birthday!! I wanna say that I love and hate your posts cause they always make me cry!! have a nice dayyy

THANK YOU <3 this is very sweet i appreciate it :] apologies for any emotional damages suffered i cannot compensate you financially but i can always commit to making a few shitposts on occasion to hopefully cover my bases

[astradyke]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! UR MY FAV BLOG

WHAT THIS IS SO SWEET 😭 thank you so much, ur my fav ANON soooo take that <3

[astradyke]

this is awesome. i've never seen what i look like before

photo of that exhausted man who's maybe a famous actor but isn't ryan reynolds it's the other one (might be a bad person?) with a whiskey (or scotch) and a cigarette on the balcony looking like windswept in the like litter way. that's me when i blog about dan and phil's sex life

[astradyke]

MY FUCKING HERO ty

do any of y'all have the stop being so damn beautiful image because i have heard about this but i dont actually know if ive seen it before and i feel like i need it on my person thanks babes

[astradyke]

it's what we all deserve

also kind of insane over whether or not theyll address the plethora of bedroom allegations like... what if they film this in the green room just to fuck with us