#the one time i ever listen to a song and imagine animatics in my head LOL

[puhpandas]

MCR kill all your friends is soo beckory/gregory & tony

"well you can hide a lot about yourself" rab lying to tony (and ellis) about everything basically. being a normal kid and having parents and caring at all. especially in tonys case just lying and stringing him along

"cause you can sleep in a coffin but the past aint through with you" basically just like, everything with tonys dad being old news and the coffin line being about everyone putting it to rest, & "the past aint through with you" being tony never letting it go and letting it constantly affect him in the present and fuel him to solve mysteries

"cause its tragic with a capital T" just eveyrthing about Tony fr lmao. even in this scenario where he doesnt die the line fits his canon story. every single part of his character is tragic. can also apply to Gregory in this situation bc hes tragic af too

"cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends + and we all te together when we bury our friends" rab and vanny and the glamrocks and stuff after successfully stopping another person from getting too close to the truth by killing tony, his friend

"its been eight bitter years since ive been seeing your face" tony surviving the attack and spending a lot of time searching for gregory and ggy afterwards with no luck & it taking a long time to get leads & all that turmoil

"and youre walking away, and i will die in this place" tony in present time dying in the pizzaplex with gregory walking away

"sometimes you scrape and sink so low" can apply to both tony and rab with tony being in like the worst mental state ever and rabs reputation in tonys eyes being ruined by rab sinking so low as to kill to in tonys eyes just not get in trouble for hacking the plex

"im shocked of what youre capable of" the betrayal between tony and gregory with tony being shocked of what he did to him

"So, tell me all about your problems, I was killing before killing was cool" rab stringing tony along and listening to what he has to say and learning to understand him better than anyone else to keep him interested in him for cover, and rab also having been killing the entire time he was doing it + before tonys big ggy obsession

"You're so cool, you're so cool, so cool" tony liking gregory more than ellis and viewing him as higher above other ppl (because of the traits he shares with tony)

first half being a repeat of the era of tony searching for gregory with another year being added showing how long its taking and how crazy tony is. "youre walking away and i will die in this place" remembering the day gregory walked away from him and holding onto the memory with both hands to fuel him to search + nightmares and trauma, hes still mentally stuck in the pizzaplex experiencing gregorys betrayal

second half being tonys determination after surviving + escaping to get to the bottom of rab after he failed to take him down, PLUS gregory during SB after being freed at this point surviving his night at the pizzaplex

another repeat showing that tony is still in the trenches, with frustration being shown in the curse. pre meeting where they finally reunite after everuthing when tony is in the worst mental state of his life and gregory is traumatized from the pizzaplex. them metaphorically walking away in opposite directions from eachother but eventally finding their way back to eachother what would be post-song

[tacobellabeanburrito]

WEE WOO WEE WOO

Hey guys! I made playlists for both Phoenix and Miles! (Explanation for certain songs and rant under the cut)

There's some songs I couldn't add to Miles' playlist (Like the song "Decree Of A Prosecutor" from Turnabout: The Musical) that I really wanted too, but they weren't on Spotify. I got some other songs in there to make up for the ones I couldn't get in there, though.

I tried to do a thing where the songs go in the order of their lives? Like, in chronological order from when they were kids to present day? I thought it'd be cool and it's much easier to wrap my head around than just placing songs on the playlist. I like it having an order.

I also did a thing where some of the same songs are on both their playlists, and where a lot of the same artists are on both playlists because I like symbolism and shit. Some songs I took from other's playlists cause I wanted to make them have an equal number of songs and some I took from animatics and shit too.

Also, a lot of these songs aren't on a lot of the regular Miles and Phoenix playlists you see... BUT I LOVE THEM AND THEY FIT PERFECTLY OK? I also tried to do a thing where I put songs that I personally think they would listen too.

(Also lmao I took some of these songs from Stan and Ford's from Gravity Falls playlists on Spotify cause they really work together like...)

I wanna talk about their songs soooo badly guys.

I'll talk about a couple of them cause I wanna so badly.

Phoenix's Playlist:

I had an easy time finding songs for this motherfucker, and a lot of them are really good. There's a couple of songs I wanna explain though.

"The Great Pretender" is the most fucking Phoenix song ever. Like, holy shit. Kind of theater kid esc because "Pretending" yk? And it feels like he's always putting on a show and shit I don't know. Perfect.

"My Girl" and "Count On Me" are Pearl and Maya songs respectively. I see a lot of people do this thing where they make playlists for characters and only put songs based on the romantic relationships with that character and like. Uh. No? What about their family? What about their friends? People forget about that a lot and I don't like it so "My Girl" is kind of a Pearl being Phoenix semi-daughter song and "Count On Me" is a Maya best friend song.

OK SO, also "Poison" from Hazbin Hotel is on here and listen, I don't know if Phoenix would listen to this song BUT GODDAMN DOES IT GO WITH HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH KRISTOPH PERFECTLY. I put a lot of Krisnix/Kristoph songs on here ("Vampire" and "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing" mainly) because holy shit I love toxic tragic yuri.

Oh also, "Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me" is the most Phoenix/Feenie song ever. Everyone always goes on and on about how "When He Sees Me" is a Miles song and it is BUT NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT "Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me" GIRL IT'S RIGHT THERE HOW DO YOU NOT SEE IT?

Miles' Playlist:

My boy's playlist get's soooo sad. Swear.

Ya'll don't get how much "The Run And Go" is SUCH a "Turnabout Goodbyes" song. It's so fucking good and it fits my boy so well. Just please, PLEASE LISTEN TO IT.

"Where I Want To Be" is a huge Miles song. I imagine him signing it when he's about ready to do his whole "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death" thing it's soooo good. Also it's from a musical called "Chess" GUYS COME ON.

"Business Man" is soooo him and Von Karma.

"Wait For It" Please for the love of God that is such a Miles song. You guys don't know how much Hamilton has affected my view of these gay lawyers.

"Puppet Boy" Also slaps so hard.

"Death As A Fetish" is also a really good one for him.

Oh ok, so "Dear Sister, Your Brother" is a Miles and Franziska song that I absolutely love. People don't give this song enough credit.

Ok so "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Vienna" are Kay and Sebastian songs respectively. Love them soooo much. They deserved a couple songs on his playlists because they are his children.

"Karma" is self-explanitory.

OK FINALLY WE'RE ON TO BOTH OF THEIR SONGS.

Fucking love putting Jet Lag on both of their playlists cause it fits them soooo well.

Also "Best Worst Mistake" from If/Then is their anthem. Like. Holy shit.

I love "If You Were Gay" from Avenue Q for them. They're so stupid and it fits them.

Um anyway, that's it.

Oh also, the friendship songs at the beginning aren't for just Miles and Phoenix. LARRY IS A PART OF THEIR GROUP TOO.

Oh also the two “Family” songs on both of their playlists is just me saying “EVERYONE IN THE WRIGHT ANYTHING AGENCY AND THE PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE ARE FAMILY”.

Also guys, I soooo badly wanted to put "Objections" on here but I couldn't find it on Spotify (Go figure) I'm guessing a lot of you haven't heard it before? Or maybe have? It's a fanmade opening for Ace Attorney and IT SLAPS SOOOO HARD. It's old but soooo good guys. Guys. Ya'll need to get in on the fan songs seriously.

I DON'T HEAR PEOPLE TALK ABOUT "TURNABOUT: THE MUSICAL" ENOUGH. Not the Random Encounters musical, but like, the actual one.

Anyway! Long rant over, tell me what you think of my playlists!

"Objections" fan made anime theme ^

And check out "Turnabout: An Ace Attorney Musical" Cause GODDAMN THAT SHIT I BALLER!

[occasionallyprosie]

hi prosie!! :D

So I dunno if you listen to it, but the song Legendary from Epic: The Musical literally just gave me an animatic idea based off of your A Thousand Ways fic. Since in the most recent chapter we saw that alternate Twi was Legend’s dad and the king and stuff like that, my brain just went- if legend had lived in the palace with his mom and fable but Twi still died, he would be Telemachus in this song and be talking about Twi. One, the song is literally called Legendary and two, the next song is literally called Little Wolf, like- Athena could be Hylia and she could have known the two heroes and ahidhdksjsksbkdi, turns out I love your fics so much I get ideas over them apparently.

But yeah, I probably won’t be able to draw the whole animatic because sadly my imagination and animatic talent are not equal, so most of it will have to remain in my head and cause my brain is stupid and doesn’t focus on things longer than like-a day, but!! If I ever draw anything I’ll be sure to either send it in an ask or tag you!!

but yeah, now that that mini rant is over, how’ve you been prosie?

Here’s the song btw

HI KIWI!!! :D

Oh? I hadn't actually listened to the Wisdom Saga yet, but I love EPIC!! Apologies for taking so long to respond, but I just listened through the songs a couple times and Jorge and the EPIC cast never miss???

I can definitely see it! OMG I Love That Idea!!! Tbh I'd more so see Fi in Athena in Little Wolf, but Hylia works too (I've done Fi as Athena before lol) EPIC is just so applicable for the Chain, I haven't tried but you could totally relate any song to each of the Links!

If you do make anything for it, absolutely let me know! I'd probably cry over it XD and I've started trying to get more into art bc you never improve if you don't start, so I'm trying to start

I'm doing good!! I've relapsed and returned to an old fixation and have written... so much for it. I need to back up tho to get working on whumptober, bc I miss Legend and have 31 prompts to attempt and draw inspiration/motivation from >:)

Wbu? How's things going?

[allmightyscroll-swag]

thinking about sex with a ghost by teddy hyde as a harry and dora animatic where hes being haunted by memories he cant quite remember but could never actually forget ... the struggle with relapsing and returning to bad ways but holding on to the fact that that was the past and this is the present and he doesnt have to be that kind of animal anymore

---------------------

GOING INSANEEEEEEE!!!!!

"the only time I ever see her,

Is when she's behind me in the mirror"

Idk why but this like specifically just. Caught me. The only time he can ever see her is as a reflection, not the real thing. Lost memories, warped by his brain trying to piece them together. Is it really Dora he's seeing, or is it Dolores Dei?

"Even from a distance I can hear her,

Try to listen, but her whispers make my ears hurt"

The calls. She's in Mirova. In the final dream, Dolores/Dora keeps repeating that she'll be late for the aerostatic. Harry doesn't listen, keeps pushing, pulling, reaching; begging. Could also be him attempting to remember how they were before. Before it all started going to shit. But he can't, not well at least. Remembering when there was love there hurts.

And then the immediate following lines;

"And on our dates, it's never daytime,

When she gets playful with a steak knife,

I need a break, maybe I'll take five,

Shake it up and medicate, maybe I'll take five."

In my mind head I imagine the 'dates' being dreams/nightmares,,, fragments of memories intertwined with his imagination

And then, waking up in the middle of the night, possibly being hangover from a relapse, or being on the verge of one.

BUTTT THAT'S JUST MY THOUGHTS!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY INSANE. AS ALWAYS

Actually reminds me of a song I was listening to today, Two Poltergeists (yt link) by Dalton Deschain and the Travelling Show, ALSO IN RELATION TO HARRY AND DORA- both pre and post breaking up.

("Thought we'd survive, if we ignore the things that go bump in the night" is a line from that song and I keep thinking about it in relation to Harry and Dora trying to ignore or push past the issues in their relationship,,, URGH. Also "were sleeping in the same bed, but in two different haunted houses" in relation to the distance and dissatisfaction growing bewteen them) (BUT I COULD GO ON SO ILL LEAVE IT HERE)

[sincerely-sofie]

Do songs that you listen often to ever remind you of characters or events from TPiaG or other stories you've written? It happens to me a lot with stuff from a story with OCs I've been helping my best friend make for years now.

Anyways, I'm asking about it because a song from my playlist reminded me a lot of Twig when I heard it while driving the other day. I had heard the song a million times before, but when I was thinking about the lyrics more they seemed to perfectly fit her internal conflict. The song was Blurt by Mega Mango if you want to take a listen.

The song is definitely just about dealing with mental health issues in general, but my PMD brainrot made it so that this was all I could think about after my epiphany. On that note, I want to offer you a congratulations for writing characters so well that they takes over my brain from time to time. I greatly appreciate it. :D

First up: Thanks so much for your kind words! Second: Oh my goodness. My friend, you are opening up Pandora's Box. 

TPiaG doesn't have as many songs associated with it as my other projects because it hasn't been in development for several years— however, a vital part of my story development process is listening to music and imagining all the animatics of the characters and storyline that I want to make set to them. I do this for every project that sufficiently resonates with the blorbo frequency in my brain, and TPiaG is no exception! 

In terms of songs that embody specific events but aren't connected to a single character, I regularly listen to “Turn the Lights off” by Tally Hall and imagine a sort of extended theme song animation for if TPiaG were an animated series. There's so many lines that mention concepts important to the story!

Another animatic song, this one set in the Dark Future when Twig was human and starting her and Grovyle's quest to save the world, is "Running Out Of Time" by Lin-Manuel Miranda--- specifically the stretch spanning at roughly 1:10 to the end of the song. I have a very vivid image of Twig repeatedly shouting at Grovyle that they need to abscond ASAP as he frantically gathers supplies that spilled out of his bag while they're being pursued by the sableye, and then of Dusknoir being dismissed by a ferryman as he's interrogating him on which way they went.

I also still listen to “Let's Get This Over With” by They Might be Giants and imagine the rest of that one unfinished animatic I posted forever ago. That song isn't as blatantly connected to the events of the game, but there's a few anchor points in the lyrics I really enjoy. 

As for individual characters and songs I associate with them, here’s a selection with links to Spotify for easy listening!

Twig:

"Hey, Doctor Doctor" by Milk in the Microwave

"Monster" by Half Moon Run

"Smile" by Ukuletea

"Feelings Are Fatal" by mxmtoon

... And now, "Blurt" by Mega Mango as well!

Ark:

"Problems" by Mother Mother 

"Rule #21- Momento Mori" by Fish in a Birdcage

"What You Know" by Two Door Cinema Club

Kip:

"I'm Not Fine" by Blixemi

"Don't Throw Out My Legos" by AJR

"Just Take My Wallet" by Jack Stauber’s Micropop

Grovyle:

"The Villain I Appear to Be" covered by Annapantsu

"Surface Pressure" covered by Annapantsu

(I don't know why both of these songs are specifically the versions sung by Annapantsu. Apparently she's Grovyle-coded in my head.)

Celebi:

(Insert any bubblegum pop or kawaii future bass song of your choice here.)

(Celebi has somehow evaded my ability to assign her songs. I’ll get her someday.)

Dusknoir: 

"I'll Be Good" by Jaymes Young

"Never Love an Anchor" by The Crane Wives

"I Was Me" by Imagine Dragons

Twig's Aunt:

"Family Jewels" by Marina and the Diamonds

"In Fact (Demo Version)" By Gregory and the Hawk

"Ain't It Fun" by Paramore

Twig's Mother:

"Brother" by Madds Buckley

And for those who'd enjoy some Travailshipping songs...

"You Are The Moon" by The Hush Sound

"Dark Clay" by Levi Weaver

"When the Day Met the Night" by Panic! at the Disco

"Can I Have the Day With You" by Sam Ock

"Tongues & Teeth" by The Crane Wives

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

🎼, since you mentioned it in your tags? 👀

🎼if you have one, share a song that you associate with your favorite character!

HAHA thank you for taking the tag bait.

so coincidentally around the same time i got hit over the head with the bttf hyperfixation, one of my favorite bands released their new album! (beyond beyond beyond by the crane wives i love yooou. please guys please check out the crane wives they're soooo good shaking everyone by the shoulders. this is coming from a guy who is very picky with music too i gotta spread the word like some sort of indie folk missionary. but anyways.) and within that album is a little song called black hole fantasy! (it's not little actually it's 6 minutes long. LMAO) think i almost cried listening to it for the first time

the second time however. the bttf interest was in full swing. and yknow that's when it's like how can i make this song about my blorbos. and sometimes it's like the farthest reach ever or based only on the vibes but seriously. black hole fantasy fits sooo well with doc in the period of time between marty leaving 1955 and meeting him again in the present day. won't go into it so if you so choose you can experience the song unadulterated but it fits so well!!! every time i listen to it i'm imagining how i'd make an animatic out of it. won't ever have the energy to do it. but im thinking really hard

moving on! time will change you from the same album is such a marty song, especially for after the trilogy is done and he has to adjust to the new timeline. it's about the passage of time it was kind of meant to be i think. if you take a listen you will see the vision trust me. higher ground (same album again) is also a marty song to me, except i was just thinking about him while listening to it so it probably doesn't fit as well as the other two. one of those reach songs yknow except i think im on to something so it's like only half a reach

[boygirlctommy]

i cant just sit here stewing alone you have to imagine the animatic with me for cclingyduo featuring the song everywhere, everything by noah kahan. alternatively: ctommy animatic to the view between villages by noah kahan. its making me crazy.

OH MY GOD i just listened to everywhere, everything and god that is so cclingy... "its been a long year" Yeah You Could Say That. "til our finger decompose, keep my hand in yours" they dont call them the clingy duo for nothing <3 ok but the pre-chorus as lmanberg, the first half of the chorus as the red festival, and the second half as nov 16th? oh god then the second verse as new lmanberg/ the exile conflict.. "we'll write out the end on our palms dear/ then forget to read" :( the "we cried oh" in the pre-chorus as their fight in the community house rubble.... the first half of the chorus as them banding together to rally the smp members against dream and techno.. the second half being doomsday.. do you ever think about how tommy always calls out to tubbo during battles, always tells him to stay close. do you ever think about how tubbo tried to take a firework for tommy on doomsday. how he found tommys 'your tubbo' compass in the crater and just. stared for a moment. and then the very last chorus as them on the bench again, watching the sunset..... geaughhgh im going to be losing it about this song for the rest of forever i think. how do you see it going? like whats your version of the animatic for this song? :]

OH THERES A SECOND ONE HANG ON. LONG FREEKING POST INCOMING MY BAD. the title alone is giving "tommyinnit from a bunch of different places/ nowhere in particular" vibes <3 oughhhh... okay.... alright.... no yeah im fine....... to me this feels like around the time of the finale, when tommy was like addicted to invis pots. "feel the rush of my blood, im seventeen again/ i am not scared of death, ive got dreams again" OKAY. ALRIGHT. YEAH. OKAY. i can see this in my head as like flashbacks of early smp/lmanberg era tommy running around the server, with match cuts to current tommy walking around, retracing his steps as if thatll make things how they were back then, but all he really sees is how scarred and empty the server is now. "im over the bridge/ a minute from home but i feel so far from it" LITERALLY to get to lmanberg from tommys house the path was a bridge, ending in that giant staircase.. a minute from home being the original walls and van in the distance, i feel so far from it being the crater... "the death of my dog" REST IN PEACE HENRY WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU </3 "im angry again" i never used to be this angry... "the things that i lost here, the people i knew/ they got me surrounded for a mile or two" did noah kahan write this song about ctommy. he could only have done this on purpose. theres simply no other explanation. these songs are so good oml....

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I dont think ive mentioned this at any point but Im actually really obsessed elisabeth but I cant engage with it at all or even think too hard about it without feeling like Im gonna start biting people. like, ive been making a lot of tanz der vampire posts and whenever one of my original posts gets interacted with I go and check the account because Im a freak like that and surprise surprise, people who like that musical also often like elisabeth, theres one account in particular who might even recognize me because its a fairly small fandom, and whenever I look at their account Ive always completely forgotten that they post a lot about elisabeth and I get jumpscared and have to very quickly click away as my heartrate inexplicably spikes for a second. And it really sucks because one time one of the posts I got jumpscared by was this one that pointed out how deaths carriage was also rudolfs bed and I hadnt noticed that and its really neat and I would love to see more posts like that about what is basically my favorite musical ever but I cant. look at them

I think the reason my brain is so weird about letting me enjoy it is that it is rpf and also german in origin. or well its from austria but you know what I mean. And i dont know why because its not like hamilton where all the songs slap but its weirdly patriotic so i dont really wanna watch it in full ever again, not only do all the songs in elisabeth slap but its also not patriotic as a whole, like thats the reason i was able to listen to it almost every day while taking the bus to school for about three months, i couldnt do that if it was weirdly patriotic yknow. Speaking of me listening to the soundtrack almost everday for three months, whenever I would do that I would imagine these elaborate and usually very romantic animatics in my head and thats perfectly fine but god forbid i wanna read a fanfic thats just a non-musical prose version of Die Schatten Werden Länger (Reprise) because like, no offense but what other kind of fanfic could you possibly write about this musical. Or maybe I just lack imagination idk

Also, speaking of the nature of this musical as rpf, because Death is the only character thats not like, real, hes the only character that I can read or write fanfic about, like I found a fic about him intracting with the von Krolocks and I liked it so much that I wrote my own oneshot about him having a weird tender moment with Herbert and I have ideas for like 3 more, which is kinda ironic because hes the character Im the most unwell about for all the obvious reasons and usually when Im this degree of unwell about a character i can hardly stand to even think about them but I guess the fact that I can already barely bring myself to think about the musical hes from kinda cancels that out

[mkaroy]

guys guess what JEREMIKE SONG ANALYSIS

today on the chopping block is 🥁🥁🥁🥁

yeah i’m breaking hearts today i cried when i first thought of this to jeremike

“Turn away, if you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded” OKAY SO post bite post scoop jeremike, literally right before pizza sim, the idea of being the manager there is enticing to mike, and by this point he’s basically planned his su*cide and hasn’t exactly told jeremy because he knows that he would get in his way and he wants his last week to be happy and such, but hes so suspicious about it, like jeremy notices how sappy he’s being and i think mike just shys away from the conversation because it hurts too bad LOL

“My sisters and my brothers, still” do you. do you just think about how excited he’ll be to see his siblings again… cuz i do…

“I will not kiss you 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.” michael pushing jeremy away more and more often because he doesn’t want jeremy to get in his way of “doing the right thing”

“Now turn away, 'cause I'm awful just to see. 'Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body” Michael doesn’t understand how someone can love a “monster” like him, like physically and emotionally he thinks he’s a monster and it makes him feel bad that jeremy has to look at that, giving him more reason to yknow, kill himself.

“…know that I will never marry” Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. BEING GAY IN THE 80S?? OKAY THATS THE FIRST PART BUT LIKE, MICHAEL IS REJECTING A HAPPY LONG LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVES HIM UNCONDITIONALLY??? JUST BECAUSE HE FEEL STHAT THATS RIGHT??? THIS LIKE TEARS ME APART.

“Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo, but counting down the days to go” I imagine this line as michael making up excuses to jeremy on why he’s acting so weird (like oh i’m just soggy and sad because of so and so) but secretly he’s counting how many days he has left before his entire life that he and jeremy have built up crumbles, especially because right before this line he literally drops one of the most soul crushing emotions ever (i will never marry) just to be like “aha don’t worry jeremy im so fine rn” (he ain’t)

“It just ain't living” he literally cant deal with living with all the trauma he has. jeremy does want him to get better but mike is an impatient man with that kinda stuff. he’s convinced he’ll never be able to live properly which like, yknow fair, BUT STILL MAN DONT KYS

“…and I just hope you know that if you say goodbye today I'd ask you to be true” OH. MY. GOD???? this is like okay pov it’s his last morning and the last time he sees jeremy, jeremy has an inkling that somethings going on but he doesn’t know this is his last time seeing mike. so when he says goodbye to mike and gives him a little kith mike nearly breaks down because oh god. he is dying today, this is the last time he’s gonna see this man.

“'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you” SELF EXPLAINITORY. headcanon that michael second guesses a lot about the plan. but he never backs out because he’s so in his head that it would be best, but good god does he miss jeremy. holy shit this chorus has me in a chokehold. guys you don’t understand i just listened to the song again ACTUAL TEARS THE ANIMATIC IN MY HEAD HURTS

[winter-spark]

I'm so funny because I don't really view Itaru and Tonooka as romantic exes but like I now have two break-up songs I could see being them to some extent. (the second one might be better, please look at the second one.)

On one hand, we have plot line by Emlyn. This song I would do a mini animatic/animation meme if I had the skill, with these four lines from the chorus:

You're not my happy ever after But you came close to it I don't need another chapter I read most of it.

where the first two lines here would be them in high school, the second two lines after the showing of KniRoun. This would have to be his mindset after that anyway lol, this is very much the "to an extent" I mentioned, I suppose. I think like the concepts/themes used fit Itaru like mentions of being the main character, references to to like prince/knight fairytales. Here's the song if you want to hear it.

On the other, we have I'm Trying (Not Friends) by Masie Peters.

And I know that currently, Itaru's not trying, not really as they are not in the same vicinity much and everything's out on the table but imagine if they frequented the same circles and listen to this song thinking about the singer being Itaru. Because I think this would sorta be him. Some lyrics I like/think in particular

Here's the lowkey obligatory chorus mention, 'tis only half the chorus btw:

And I swore that I'd swallow my pride And you swore you would do better this time Well, I might be bitter and twisted and broken and petty and lying But at least I'm trying

(& because I can't go without mentioning it because it's so them-core in my head:)

Got friends, got at least a healthy five Yeah, some people think I'm funny, baby, don't look so surprised

AU where Tonooka for whatever reason joins Mankai or befriends some members and starts hanging out around Mankai before they get the whole backstory on what happened in high school lol I think I might actually read that or watch that animatic ngl. [Update: I'd age them down to college to make it make slightly more sense because it'd be fresher but also no I am not gonna do that sorry.] It was hard to pick so few lyrics lol, listen to the song and tell me you see what I mean, please:

[amyisherenowitsokay]

*stares very aggressively , I’m foaming from the mouth.*

Howdy-hey! I’m here to pester you abt your works! So I reread “From your memory” and I was like wowza and then I wondered…

What was your inspiration? That concept was just entirely new to me and in the good old year of 2011 I was practically ascending bc I was so invested in the story and it was actually the first fic I ever read from you. (and I fell in love teehee) So what made you write that or inspired yo to do so? Did you have an original storyline that was scrapped, and or changed ?

You don’t have to answer any of this if you don’t want to btw :)

I answer all my asks (eventually lmao) fish! Especially yours!

Long answer under the cut because I'm incapable of giving a short answer. Information about my own fics are constantly on the tip of my tongue ready to be spilled out at their first opportunity, and I'm incapable of resisting.

From Your Memory was actually genuinely inspired by the song mention in the A/N of the first chapter, which is Paramore's Ignorance. This is also where the title comes from.

"I'm not the same kid from your memory Well now I can fend for myself"

I listened to the original and acoustic version on loop. Basically what happened in teenage me's brain did was have an animatic in my head about how this song could figuratively apply to a fanfiction, developed the premise, and went from there.

This is gonna be really funny to explain because there's like legitimate scenes developed around individual lyrics in this song.

Ignorance sounds and sounded a lot to me like a dialogue. It sounded, to me, like one person was saying some parts, and one person was replying in a sort of escalating argument, but at least one party was 'ignorant' (huehuehuehue) of all the details about why they were even fighting in the first place. Based on that premise, the song will (hopefully) make more sense. I'm going to write the lyrics 'assigning' lyrics between two people, and tag them (1) or (2), depending on who I am is talking/replying, with 1 being Zim, and 2 being Gaz. I vividly imagined two people interrupting one another while fighting, hence a lot of the weird breaks.

This is gonna be so convoluted and I'm sorry ahead of time lmao.

Lyric Breakdown

(1) If I'm a bad person— (2) You don't like me (1) Well, I guess I'll make my own way (1) It's a circle, a mean cycle (1) I can't excite you anymore

Just on that dialogue, it's basically like. Zim starts off the story blaming himself for not being there when Gaz was injured, and wars between doing the easiest thing for Gaz, which is to shut up and pretend not to know her, or what he wants, which is to tell her the truth and re-involve himself in her life. Gaz is meanwhile obviously oblivious to his turmoil and is like "why are you even talking to me, you hate me." Zim of course originally chooses to aid her from the sidelines, but he's not happy about it. He essentially is "not allowed" to involve himself in her life anymore.

(1) Where's your gavel? Your jury? (2) What's my offense this time? (1) You're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me (1) Well, sentence me to another life

Zim's resentment about the situation continues, especially with Dib being irritated about Zim choosing to keep secrets and forcing him to go along with it. Gaz is still like "dude what the fuck is your problem??" while Zim continues to be extra pissy, wishing things were different.

(1) Don't wanna hear your sad songs (1) I don't wanna feel your pain (1) When you swear it's all my fault (1) 'Cause you know we're not the same (no) (2) We're not the same (no) (2) Oh, we're not the same (1) Yeah, the friends who stuck together (1) We wrote our names in blood (1) But I guess you can't accept that the change is good (hey) (2) It's good (hey), it's good

At this point, Zim's dealing with being incapable of helping, desperately wanting to help Gaz, but not actually able to do so. He's just constantly watching her suffer without ever being able to help ease her pain.

Mentally, this was also just more arguing, but with Zim being forced to swallow the fact the meaningful friendship and borderline-relationship he and Gaz had developed is gone, and she's not interested in developing a new one the way he is. Things are different now. They simply aren't friends. He's done nothing for weeks but try to save her life, has had her literal blood on his hands, and now it doesn't even matter. He's got to move on, and he's got to continue to convince Dib that their situation has changed, and his idea is for the better. Lacking context, Gaz meanwhile is like dude take your angst and fuck off. She's also trying to convince herself that whatever is clearly happening behind the scenes, it doesn't matter, and she's better off keeping her head down.

(1) Well, you treat me just like another stranger (1) Well, it's nice to meet you, sir (1) I guess I'll go (1) I'd best be on my way out (2) You treat me just like another stranger (2) Well, it's nice to meet you, sir (2) I guess I'll go (2) I'd best be on my way out

(1) Ignorance is your new best friend (x2)

This is also another parallel back and forth, with Zim still coming to terms with Gaz genuinely not knowing their formerly intense, meaningful relationship. It's more resentment about what he lost. It's meant really sarcastically and snidely. Gaz, for her part, means it really literally. She doesn't have any relationship with Zim aside from 'that guy my brother hates,' and blows him off.

And of course, "ignorance is your new best friend" is pretty straightforward in its meaning. Gaz isn't Zim's best friend anymore, and all she has to keep her company is her new amnesia.

For this next part, queue Membrane (3). The really fun part is after this analysis, if you wanna go back and listen to this song nearly entirely from a Gaz vs Membrane perspective, it also can fit! From a Membrane-centric perspective, if you think of Membrane as he sees himself (aka not in the wrong), needing praise from the public, shrugging off criticism since it's "for the greater good," etc with Gaz (and Dib) shoving back at his preconceptions, it's easy to hear the dialogue. But continuing on, this part was mentally Membrane for me:

(3) This is the best thing that could have happened (3) Any longer and I wouldn't have made it (3) It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture (2) I'm just a person, but you can't take it (2) The same tricks that, that once fooled me (2) They won't get you anywhere (2) I'm not the same kid from your memory (2) Well, now I can fend for myself

This was more later in the story and/or right before Gaz lost her memory during her confrontation with Membrane, where Gaz knows what's going on, and Membrane's trying to convince her to cooperate anyways. Membrane is convinced this isn't something that needs to be difficult, while Gaz is warning him that she's dangerous now, has backup, and isn't going just hand over her independence at his whim.

Further Development

From that context, you can see that the story just kind of happened from there. I filled in the gaps. Why was Zim so mad at Gaz, and why wouldn't she know why he was mad at her? Originally, I wasn't sure who the (3)rd person in the lyrics was that Gaz was fighting with, but to me, it sounded like an authority figure. There's not a lot of those in the IZ universe, let alone one that Gaz would legitimately be threatened by, and eventually, it started to sound like an argument with someone gloating, and then someone who didn't even notice their gloating was actually cruel. They'd also have to be someone who Gaz knew since she was little. Someone she was invested in. Someone exactly like Professor Membrane. But then what would Gaz be arguing with dumb, well-meaning Professor Membrane about?

And thus, a metamorphosis occurred:

This is a meme I made awhile ago for my Discord friends when we discussing From Your Memory. It also makes me laugh every time I see it because it's really spot on to the vibes.

I started to consider the angle that Membrane was actually the bad guy, which, when you consider how many times 'evil mad scientist who think they're in the right' was fed to kids as a trope (and still is, tbh), it was an easy jump. And THAT was when the story really started kicking in.

This was around the time I started to hear the 'Dib is a clone' theories. If Dib was a clone, why couldn't Gaz be? If you were a scientist whose entire life was dedicated to advancement for the betterment of mankind, why would that just be relegated to advancement in technology? Why wouldn't someone just a liiiiiiittle off find themselves stumbling right into advancing the evolution of mankind as a species, too?

So then Gaz and Dib became experiments. And if you were going to make a boy and a girl, you could argue it'd just be the typical white picket fence dream of having a son and a daughter. But if you're me, and grew up in a religious environment, the creation of a man and woman as a pair sound less like siblings and more like Adam and Eve. And that's where the whole 'Gaz is an angel with wings' things came from.

The origin of evil!Professor Membrane was mostly that I thought that no one would ever see that twist coming, but reading back through it, I can definitely see small-me taking digs at my own super-scientist parent lmao.

Evil Membrane is also so incredibly fun just in and of itself. Professor Membrane is the guy above all guys in Invader Zim. He's respected, well-loved, commanding, imperial in so many ways.

I simultaneously started formulating this idea that Gaz had amnesia to keep her from being too OP and dunking on everyone. So the story pretty much fell into place after that. Obviously, the amnesia had to be caused by Membrane, to reset his 'experiment.' Dib and Gaz, as his own form of Adam and Eve, were abominations. Abominations tend to be malformed in some way, meaning they were imperfect creations. Dib was first, and therefore more of a prototype. It'd explain why he lacked Gaz's powers, why she tended to be smarter, stronger, etc in the show.

I also deeply loved the idea of Zim being in love with Gaz, while Gaz is completely indifferent in a way that was atypical than usual ZAGR stories (including MHNY). Zim wasn't fantasizing for a relationship that could be, but pining for a relationship that had been. It made their will-they-won't-they dynamic painful instead of lovey-dovey-ooey-gooey-sentimental, and ya bitch is always down to mix a good dollop of pain into my stories lmao.

Changes Down the Line

This one I'm gonna preface with to anyone reading this: don't go digging through my reviews. I'm too old and my bones are too tired to stir up shit, or incite drama.

I lost focus/desire to finish this story somewhere around I think when Gaz got kidnapped the first time (ch 19ish). I had a whole (now lost to time/deleted) chapter of her being in a warehouse, losing her shit, and breaking free via her powers.

ORIGINALLY, in a world where that version of the story happened instead of what's published, this was going to lead to Gaz being an actual, active threat to humanity incapable of controlling her powers. There was going to be a scene where Dib has to really debate on killing his own sister, or let her destroy the world in a fit of grief. Zim and Dib turned against one another because of it, with Zim fully willing to let her destroy as much of the Earth as he needs to as long as she stays alive.

It was undecided whether or not I was going to make Gaz kill Membrane, or just get really close. Most of the end of From Your Memory was me winging it and losing steam, so I was going back and forth on it.

However, I did know Dib would eventually manage to get close enough for the 'moment of truth,' so to speak, but find himself unable to actually kill his little sister. That moment of humanity would snap her back to cognizance. She'd realize just how much both Zim and Dib care for her in their individual ways, and sort of collapse. They'd eventually disappear, and the rest of story would play out pretty similarly to the published ending (assuming Membrane didn't die).

This all was scrapped legitimately because of one singular review.

Someone, and I genuinely do not remember who but I vaguely remember getting into it in my A/N's with them a few times, wrote this really rude review about how predictable the story was getting, and wrote out basically that it was obvious that Gaz was about to have a power freakout, how played out that was, blah blah blah. In 2011/2012 however, I was like 15, so instead of rolling my eyes and/or patting myself on the back for leaving enough narrative hints that the entirety of my story could be devised from what was already published, I got really mad lmao.

So in an effort to not be 'predictable' and prove that person 'wrong,' I deleted the entire chapter and rewrote it to what's now ch 20. That whole storyline was gone just cause one review really rubbed me the wrong way on the right day lmao. I think there's even an A/N even at the end of 20 that mentions offhand the scrapped rewrite.

As a reminder, this fic was finished over 10 years ago. I am not interested and would in fact be really irritated by anyone digging up the review to go harass someone who probably isn't even active on fanfiction anymore (I mean god, is anyone? Lmao). But that is what happened, and it is relevant to the question, so there.

Additionally, I was debating on writing out a few prequel chapters and inserting them somewhere in the story. Maybe 1 - 3(?) chapters written out, with a beginning, middle, and end of how Zim and Gaz's relationship developed. Like a lot of small, detailed flashbacks of when Zim first started treating Gaz, some middle bits when they stared falling for one another and really began to allow themselves to lean on one another, and then the final kiss scene, just before Gaz lost her memories.

I don't know quite remember where I intended to put that. I had vague ideas of Gaz being knocked out, those 1 - 3 chapters of flashback, and then her 'waking up' right after she slips into a coma, back in the present. These chapters were never written, partially because I couldn't figure out where to put them, and then by the time I got to scenes that could work for that kind of transition, I was really burning out with the story and just wanted to be done with it.

.

I think that's everything! Hopefully somewhere in this mess was a cohesive answer that answered your question! If I missed anything specific you were looking for, please let me know, and I'll be happy to answer! <3

[crow-talks-hockey]

random things i love writing

-scenes where a character is alone in the room, burdened with memories but finally accepting they have to move on

-or rather, scenes like that where a character is sad about everything and doesn't want to leave that situation, so another character comes in and oh so gently gets them to understand it's already over

-kiss scenes that just focus on emotion. i don't write sex scenes ever because 1) they make me uncomfortable and 2) i'm also ace, so writing kiss scenes usually reflects that. i like writing how it makes the characters feel not just about each other but also about themselves. writing characters being so dumbfoundedly in love with each other is hilarious.

-domestic comfort scenes, usually with lovers, but sometimes with friends or family as well. even in fantasy this works, in my book it's rare given what my characters go through, but when they do show up they make for a nice breather from all the angst and action.

-i. love. metaphors. idk why, but i do. i love being non literal and exploring feelings or scenes just by relating them to something that will make the reader and myself think.

-nature stuff. i often find this is a hard one to capsulate correctly, as i always have crystal clear visions of the scenery but i do my best. it's a challenge i like though, i've had to accept that people will probably see it differently than i will and that's okay. it's always fun to work in the landscape to my characters.

-emotion in general, they're so fickle. i adore writing human behavior that's caused by emotion. anxiety causing a bouncy leg or twiddling thumbs, the blank and tired stare of devastation, the giddy smile and bouncy energy a character gets from joy, all of it. some are hard to explain through words, but as i've written it's gotten easier. i find human emotion and behavior very interesting and, like with nature, i love the challenge of writing something so versatile.

*extra :3

-i actually come up with most of my scenes because of music! this all started around when i got really into animatics and music as a whole. this is the reason i love long car rides. i always just put in my ear buds and watch out the window the entire time as i come up with scenes. sound tracks are usually what i use most. most any of my biggest scenes in a fic/book that i write actually start as animations in my head to a certain song. i once spent probably close to an hour listening to one song on loop during a car ride just so i could imagine my book's climax as an animatic.

[anothertawogsideblog]

i was gonna add my replies in the tags but i feel like they wouldnt fit so im adding here so i hope u dont mind me replying to basically everything lol

also. OP. Thank you so much for this. I am so close to cryign tears of joy. This is amazing. I needed some rlly long rant about Rob djsjd

no really, i loved reading every line of this, it's great[:

1- "the last line haunts me, because in my head animatic, its something he's saying to reassure himself that he'll be okay. that he'll get out of this and still be himself. which,,, i'm sorry," please DO NOT DO THIS TO ME I TEARED UP SO FAST. and also yea. ur so right THAT FITS SO MUCH.

2- OH HSY i love this song it's kewl to see it here and yea that's smart it's fitting[:

3- IK THIS SONG I THOUGHT OF ROB TOO WHEN I HEARD THAT.

"and then seeing them ignoring him in favor of molly"

4- DANG IT OP UR SO SMART U ARE RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THESE. LIKE. YEA. IT'S SO FITITJG TYSM FOR THIS PLAYLIST IM STEALING ALL THESE SONGS.

"i hc that his pre void self haunts him like a ghost, still undeniably there" real,,,,

5- HEL REAL also very kewl song i love it:3

6- "california isn't particurarly kind to the homeless" was that a reference or am i overthinking this. BUT YEA UR RLLY RIGHT AND IT'S ALSO RLLY SAD.

7- i can't copypaste but the entire wanting revenge part, the "he's never getting back what they took from him" and the last one. OP. YOURE SO RIGHT YOU GET HIM SM IM CRYING,,,,

8- by now, i don't even need to say that again, it is rlly fitting. it obv is BUT AYYY YOU MADE RESEARCH ON WHAT THE TAWOG TEAM SAID ABOUT ROB TOO! i thought i was the only lol, i watched every interview i could find and literally looked at Ben Bocquelet's entire twitter account lol and yea, Rob's arc def was planned on considering that ,according to his tweets, the same month The Nobody came out he already finished the script to The Disaster and by the time of The Ex IIRC he already had the finale planned out(which. surprised me but not that much u can kind of tell it was planned) OH and speaking of after 34 hours of research i did find one extra info. Ben did sorta confirm his post-void design was partially inspired by them having troubles with his s1 3d design and he also had a tweet where he said he loves him....i..have my doubts on that and also my bad i started rambling and completely forgot what i was originally talking about anyway

9- hey OP did i ever mention ur so right about everything. "i like to imagine Rob knows about stuff like that" REAL. also rhsjsh i feel like Rob would probably have listened to that song during The Nobody+dr wreckah era because.. come on... an angry traumatized middle schooler in 2015-2016 who didn't listen to wolf in sheep's clothing?

10- "rejection of the role and what the universe wants him to be" ,the watching the world knowing its not real part and the last part.........listen i know i said this 400 times but. you are literally so correct. about eveythign. i love ur plural-of-analysis .

11- LISTEN IK I SAID THANKS ALREADY BUT. THWNK YOU SO MUCH ESP FOR THIS SONG. I LOVE IT SM I THINK ITS MY FAV OUT OF THE PLAYLIST. IT'S SO REAL...

Also theyre not fitting to that speciric situation but i feel like some other lyrics also fit to him,,, like "was when i left the cave and swore i'd never go back" you can. probably figure out what the cave would be and yea the swore i'd never go back part makes sense cuz Rob clearly tried rlly hard and did everything he could not to get sent to the void again.

and also "I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition, 'til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared" sorta made me think of The Future lol

12- "will things ever get better for him? Will things bet better for anyone?" "Imagine holding infite power in ur hands only to be sent back to the buzzing white hellscape everything terrible began?"

and come on i don't even need to say the rest is also really fitting imo it's just implied atp

13- OMG YEA THIS IS SO RELA ESP THE GUILT PART AND THE FACT TJAT HE'S THE ONLY WHO KNOWS OUCH,,, no but yea Rob went thru so much trauma just in those. like first he finds out he's fictional and none of this is real. then he gets his trauma replayed back to him. then he gets sent to the void...again. and then there's the guilt of everything...damn the writers do not hold back when it comes to Rob i swear

14- YES CRYING TOO....also ay another song ik that reminded me of Rob too! it was just the first part for me but yea i can see the rest[:

15- listened to the song. v nice. indeed fitting.

16- YES I HAVE LISTENED TO THE LYRICS. YEAH YOURE RIGHT THEY RLLY DO REMIND ME OF THE FUTURE,,,

17- HFJDSJHD YEA EXACTLY ESP THE APRT WHERE U SAID HE'S ANGRY BCUZ HE WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING GOOD BUT STILL GOT FUCKED OVER SOBBING RN

18- i like ur hc about him being the one to make these honeslty i feel it's either that or he got them from the awesome store,,no idea where he would get the money to buy those.

BUT YEA I NOTICED THE BACKPACK MISSING TOO THAT'D ACTUALLY BE RLLY KEWL...

also, btw which painting do u mean? my bad sorry lol but u mean the one Barbara did of him at the end right? if yes, then yea i doubt he'd know about it AND YEA THE OTHER 2 THINGS. UR SO RIGHT.

"the void is waiting for him" 1-REAL 2-SOBS the void is such an asshole istg and yes i will call the void an asshole despite it being a location because it is still a sentient being. that lil shit knows what it's doing. seriously whys the void like this . dude aren't you the universe itself why are u beefing with a child who literally just existed. like Gumball said in The Vegging why can't it sort out actual problems like poverty or world hunger

19-

that's it. that's my thoughts.

20- DGSJSH YEA THATS SUCH A GOOFY NAME i had the finale spoiled but i def think i would have realized it was Rob in 5 seconds. No one else would literally call themself Evil and say it's pronounced like eh-vol. come on. that's such a Rob thing. I can literally picture him writing that name down and being like "it's perfect no one will suspect a thing" and REAL!!!

21- YES I DO REMEMBER.....sobs please i am running out of sad reaction images....

22- the part where he doesn't know who he wants to be. "maybe once this is over he can finally choose for himself"

AND YES PLEASE LET ROB BE HAPPY!!!!

23- "no matter what he did, it all ended the same" YEA EXACTLY it breaks my heart sm...the fact that he literally had to pretend to be evil to survive for so long just to get sent back to the void...like it was all for nothing.......

and yea i do have a few songs in mind lemme know if it's okay for me to dm u(:

@anothertawogsideblog its been a while, but i still wanted to respond to this! first off, thank you for your compliment on this post, it really means a lot! second of all, yes! although whatever song you have to recommend, it might already be on here! (however if it isn't, dm me!! i have something for that ;3c)

i've actually been waiting for an opportunity to share this, so thank you so much!

this playlist follows Rob's character progression through the original series (wiiiith some gaps filled in ;3)

below the cut are my insane ramblings explanations of why i picked the songs on the playlist, where/how they fit into the timeline of events, aaand a couple of headcanons i have that were inspired by the songs :D i tried to be quick and concise and only talk about lines that REALLY stood out to me

WARNING: don't click on it unless you are prepared to do a bit of reading. legitimately i'm warning you here, there's well over 3K words on this (not counting the lyric transcriptions)

wow, really? okay, strap in!

Self- by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

this and -Ish were recommendations from my partner, so thank you to him :3

the respective opening and closing songs to SELF-iSH tied the og album together, so it was only natural that they serve the same function here.

the SELF-iSH album already deals with themes of identity, and i personally find Rob to be so interesting because of his complex relationship with his identity. or i guess the relationship that i perceive him to have

this song is short, but it's one of many songs that represents something we didn't see happen onscreen. for this one, its Rob getting zapped into the Void.

"well i don't remember 2012, but i heard the world would turn to hell, and compared to that, well, i'm doing well, so i pray to God it really did"

2012 was the year the show began, but its also a year where people believed the world would end. the connection is sort of paradoxical in relation to the show

"so when all my friends forget my name, no, i wont come back and be the same, no, i wont come back and be the same, and i'm gonna be myself again"

this part in particular is not only representing him being erased from the mind's of people who knew him, but also foreshadowing his eventual transformation...

the last line haunts me, because in my head animatic, its something he's saying to reassure himself that he'll be okay. that he'll get out of this and still be himself. which,,, i'm sorry, excuse me (UGLY CRIES HARD INTO A PILLOW) okay next song

Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall

AUTISM JUMPSCARE

so this song is basically the ensuing panic and chaos from being brought to a place where mistakes are kept. most of my head animatic is just him wandering around in the Void and being chased or frightened by all the weird shit in there.

"eyes of yellow scales and feathers tails in tethers turn the lights off"

more foreshadowing,,,, how the white of his eye changes to yellow after the Void,,,,,,, how he gets a pig tail in The Future,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Penelope Scott is a recurring artist on this playlist :3 (foreboding sense of doom)

"and i am not your protagonist i'm not even my own i don't know anything i don't even know what i don't know"

local boy achieves sentience, more at 11

"and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees the artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves"

these lines perfectly paint a picture of a world that is not real, again tying into him becoming sentient

"and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees the artificial way the sunlight bounces off the glitching leaves"

do i even have to say it.

"my wet heart catches on every thorn you're already halfway out the door"

Rob calling out to Gumball and Darwin and then seeing them ignore him in favor of Molly........

"and i'm so tiny and so old and god its never been so cold and it is 85 degrees i don't know what i need"

the ending to this song feels so hopeless and frustrated. which sadly, ties in perfectly.

ECHO by Crusher-P (feat. GUMI)

this is like. the ultimate Rob song for so many reasons. here are my takes!!

"the clock stopped ticking forever ago how long have i been up? i don't know"

reflecting on how long he's been in the Void. has it been a day? or has it been years? it's impossible to know

"why cant i see, why cant i see all the colors that you see? please can i be, please can i be colorful and free?"

so in this instance “seeing color” is a sorta metaphor for being important or interesting. things which he wasn't, based on being put into the Void.

then him longing to be important, to be interesting, to be out of this god-forsaken place

"what the hell's going on? can someone tell me please? why i'm switching faster than the channels on TV I'm black, then i'm white no, something isn't right my enemy's invisible, i don't know how to fight"

in reference to his surroundings being screens of TV static. realizing that his real enemy is whatever decides who’s important and who isn’t, but not knowing how to fight back against it

"the trembling fear is more than i can take when i'm up against the echo in the mirror"

at this point the "echo" is the boy he was when he was brought here. young and naïve, hopeful that somebody would remember him and care enough about to come rescue him.

"i'm gonna burn my house down into a ugly black, i'm gonna run away now and never look back"

this is him running after the van and leaving this fucked up place behind. the fact that these lines repeat and overlap each other really sells the amp up towards the climax that is him grabbing onto the side of the van and holding on until we flash to the other side.

"what the hell's going on? can someone tell me, please? why i'm switching faster than the channels on TV I'm black, then i'm white, no, something isn't right, my enemy's invisible, i don't know how to fight,"

this,,,,, this is after the memory wipe. this is the "who am i? what happened? whats… wrong with me?" that happens as soon as he's spat out the other side.

"the trembling fear is more than i can take when i'm up against the echo in the mirror"

now the echo is a ghost of his former self, before he was transformed. i headcanon that his pre-Void self's appearance haunts him like a ghost, never being fully visible or tangible in any way, but still undeniably there.

from this point on when he tries to interact with it or remember who he was, its like trying to grab fog. it just slips right through his fingers and dissipates into nothing.

Eighth Wonder by Lemon Demon

FIRST and ONLY silly song!!! this one is him sneaking into and hiding in the Watterson's house almost entirely undetected :3 (DON'T look at his body dysphoria look at him he’s normal he’s NORMAL)

Projections by CG5

hey hey hey hey hey DON'T look at the Bendy and The Ink Machine character on the cover of the song—look at me! this song is a PERFECTLY NORMAL CHOICE-hey hey! stop looking at The Projectionist look at me-LOOK AT ME! this is NORMAL.

just. hear me out, okay. just listen. to the song.

"in the dark i see everything there's no place that i'd rather be"

he's just some poor amnesiac hiding out in a basement. he isn't happy about it, but he doesn't have anywhere to go. no memories, no family, and goodness knows California isn't particularly kind to the homeless. he has nowhere else to go. this is what he has and he has to deal with it.

"way back in history, you could say i was very bright, but now i'm drawn to the deepest darkness, and that's where i find my light”

and now he's alone in the dark, where the only light he has is the light that emits from his body.

"everywhere that i look, all that i see is projections of what i used to be"

he sees the ghost of his former self so often, and he knows that it's a clue to his past, but he can never get a good enough look at it to jog his memories.

in the original song, the change in vocalist signifies that Norman Polk, (the soul trapped inside The Projectionist) is the one singing now. i though that was cool, so that format carries over here as the former self begins to sing!

"but i guess it'll always be like this cant change anything about this infinite abyss”

infinite abyss is the Void that lurks just beyond their world, all powerful and unchanging

“i cant believe that this is happening, not at all i'm literally a walking thing singing 'bout my downfall i can still remember the day that i drowned, but i never even died"

this is the part in The Nobody when he got his memories back and decided to pursue vengeance

"start the show and look up at the screen watch from the beginning to the end of the scene if you want to learn more about me just watch the projections of what i used to be"

the rest of the song is his acceptance of the villain role and the ghost abandoning him for it

Again by Crusher-P

the first song for The Nemesis!!!

okay so quick thing before we start: there's a cover of this song by Jayn and The Living Tombstone (MAJOR FLASHING LIGHT WARNING FOR THE VIDEO). this version changed the lyrics in some places which offered some SUPER awesome opportunities for angst stuff. i would have put this version on the playlist, but it sadly isn't available on Spotify :( so for simplicity's sake i'll just talk abt the original here :)

i sort of see this song as an argument between his current self and the one he left behind. how much this anger and resentment has changed him from what he was. some parts of the song are sung by his past self and others are sung by the present.

"i haven't been myself lately i don't blame you for not wanting to stay saying things that i don't mean not meaning what i say"

(lines 1 and 2 are present self, lines 3 and 4 are past self)

i think that after he accepted the role of antagonist, the ghost of who he was before just vanished. i like to believe it was afraid of him, and perhaps ashamed, too.

"when its good, its so good when its bad, its so bad even when i knew what i had what am i supposed to say when i end up driving everyone away?"

(present self)

wanting revenge can change you. you were hurt, or something was taken from you, and you want to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. when you have all of that anger festering inside of you, it can distort whatever idea you have of who you are—and that is what happened here. the anger and resentment not only permanently changed who he is now, but scared away what little of himself he had left.

"every inch of me is charred god, what happened to my heart? i'm about to fall apart again, again and you're never coming back and i'm not okay with that! and i should have never let myself get attached!"

(present self speaking about past self)

he's never getting back what they took from him. he'll never be the same, because of them. who he was — that's not him anymore, and its their fault.

"and its like every day is a fight for my life to get some self control and when you've forgotten who i am, it just feels, it just feels like i'm nobody at all"

(present self talking about past self)

again, the ghost disappearing after he accepts the antagonist role making him lose touch with who he was

"i lost myself hitting the ground i held my breath in case i drowned"

flashback to when he got spat out of the Void without his memories. when he got his memories back, he also regained self-awareness.

"i should have known when to let go and when to see who i was being"

maybe it was a mistake. but its still their fault. now he's REALLY mad.

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

i think you and i know each other pretty well at this point. you're reading my analytical mini-essay about this cartoon character. we’re being cringe together. you won’t make fun of me for choosing the jerma meme song.

the first part of this song is for The Bus. think of it as an internal monologue while he does his villain shit. this one also kind of touches on how he’s taking the nemesis thing a lot more seriously than Gumball is

the second part of the song transitions into the events of The Disaster.

"they say pray it away i swear that i’ll never be a saint, no way”

this is Rob reflecting the role he’s been given as antagonist because he wants to be the main character. he’s not content to be a good little character and stay in his assigned role, he wants freedom!

“a chair in the corner is my place i stay i shake and i think about the powers at play, the powers at play”

the powers at play are exactly what they sound like. it’s the show runners and the audience — the people who are watching and controlling his fictional world.

“and the kids in the dark that were doomed from the start,"

i've done a little digging into what the show creators have said about Rob, and from what i can gather it was planned for him to have had this happen to him from a very early point in the show. so. yeah. doomed from the start indeed

"love is a constant, love is a basis, he cannot be, she cannot be, they can not be changed goodbye..."

everyone in this story is powerless to change it. everyone... except him, now that he has the remote

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing by Set It Off

a classic villain rage song! most of this is him fucking up Gumball's life in The Disaster

"baa baa, black sheep, have you any soul? no, sir, by the way what the hell are morals?!"

fun fact! early prototype versions of Gumball made him a black cat to tie into his unluckiness :3 they didn't end up going with it because he was too hard to see against black backgrounds, but still. i like to imagine Rob knows stuff like that,,,,

"maybe you'll change abandon all your wicked ways make amends and start anew again maybe you'll see all the wrongs you did to me and start all over, start all over again"

this is that moment in The Disaster where Rob tries to reveal the nature of their world to Gumball

"oh, who am I kidding? now, let's not get overzealous here you've always been a huge piece of shit if I could kill you, I would but it's frowned upon in all fifty states having said that, burn in hell, yeah!"

but Gumball doesn't understand. so Rob gives up and decides to finish what he started.

"karma's gonna come collect your debt!"

at the end of the song its Gumball jumping in after the remote, Rob closing the AV portal like curtains, and Gumball managing to press the rewind button, transitioning into the next episode

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land by MARINA

holy fuck i love this one okay lets go. now we're in The Re-Run, but these next two songs are replacing the ones that were there in The Disaster

"you don't have to be like everybody else you don't have to fit into the norm you are not here to conform"

again, rejection of the role he was given and what the universe wants him to be.

"i am here to take a look inside myself recognize that I could be the eye, the eye of the storm"

now that he has the remote, he can be the center of it all. the eye of the storm, the main character.

"i am not my body, not my mind or my brain (ha) not my thoughts or feelings, I am not my DNA i am the observer, I'm a witness of life"

i like the interesting position that sentience puts him in. he's watching the world with the context that none of its real, so he's watching it with us, the audience. but he's still living through all of these experiences like they are real because they’re happening in his reality, so he’s still part of the show and,,, yeah you get it.

"i live in the space between the stars and the sky"

line is in reference to how he's caught between worlds. he doesn't belong in Elmore, but he doesn't want to go back to the Void

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

ooooh this one’s good. let’s get started.

"if we can't see each other, then there's no more use for hiding I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black?"

why shouldn't he have what he wants? he has all of the power to get it. who's going to stop him?

"i'm not a flower, not a solar-powered calculator Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there"

these lines are in reference to Leslie and Bobert, who get to be important and interesting and not having their lives ripped apart by the universe. god fuck those guys and fuck him for ever wanting to settle for being a cute side character when he could have THIS

"the future must know where you've been the past predicts the state you're in the present did and will not last is, isn't, was, have, hasn't, has"

this is the part where Gumball starts to get the upper hand and it starts to dawn on Rob that he's fucked

"all that i ask is, keep those empty frames if nobody's in them, then no one is to blame for your self-portraits, sign another name well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?

Gumball ejects him. and now he's falling…

"and if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares? i'll stay awake tonight..."

if he can come so close to his perfect life, if he can wield the power of a god and still fail--is there any point in continuing to think he can be anything else? anything but a mistake to be cast aside and forgotten?

there's nowhere to go--no point in trying to be anything else. this is the end.

Bad Apple!! - English Remaster by RichaadEB and Christina Vee

STOP LAUGHING

okay so this cover is metal as fuck and i love it a lot but anyway- we're still in The Re-Run at this point. just for fun we're going to pretend he was in there a lot longer than he was in canon

"and maybe its a dream, maybe nothing else is real but it wouldn't mean a thing if i told you how i feel"

oughhh imagine trying to pull the wool away from someone's eyes only for them not to understand and leave you more isolated than you've ever been before.

"you could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but i doubt that i would care and my heart would never know"

so what if he's a mistake? does any of it really matter in the first place if none of it’s real?

"will tomorrow ever come? will i make it through the night? will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?"

will things ever get better for him? will things get better for anyone trapped in the existential nightmare of their own fictionality?

will the mistakes of the world ever find peace, or comfort, or solace in what they are--toys to be ripped apart and cast aside by greater beings?

"if i find a way to change, if i step into the light then i'll never be the same and it all would fade to white"

imagine holding infinite power in your hands--the ability to rewrite reality to your liking, to step into the spotlight you've yearned for for so long, only to be sent back to the buzzing white hellscape where everything terrible began?

ramping up towards the climax of the song is when Gumball enters to rescue him from this place. Rob is running from him stubbornly because he's being overwhelmed by hatred and hopelessness- convinced an eternity of loneliness is what he deserves.

"this time you're not hurting me! this time i will take a stand! all the hatred in my eyes building up an evil plan standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side"

he finally gets ahold of the remote again. Gumball is utterly defenseless--and Rob has the chance to finish what he started. but...

"looking deep inside myself, and revealing only fright"

but standing behind Gumball is the ghost. his ghost.

"if i make another move, if i take another step then it all would fall apart, there'd be nothing of me left"

the person that he was- the person who would have done anything to even have the chance to be rescued, is right there.

if he does this--if he takes Gumball's life in favor of an eternity of loneliness--then he'll lose what little remained of who he was.

so he cant do it. he cant bring himself to do it. so he goes back

"so i'm back here once again, so i'm back here once again! will i ever make a change? will my heart begin to mend?

this one simple action, where Gumball goes back into the Void to save Rob even though he's won, it lets Rob forgive him in a sense. the two of them are friends now.

"would you love me if i go?"

but it cant last, even if he wants it to. he has to fix the mess he's created.

"it feels like a heart attack! but still everything's the same-"

so he rewinds, fixing all of the problems he caused. he finally stops just after he first got the remote

"and it all just fades to black"

he smashes the remote and the world goes dark as the credits roll and the music fades out...

Amygdala’s Ragdoll by Ghost and Pals

this is another song that takes place during some offscreen time, specifically the time between the rerun's end the ex's beginning.

there's a general theme of guilt and anguish in this song. he reason he “breaks up” with Gumball is tied to what happened at the end of The Re-Run. Rob feels bad about ruining Gumball life and he’s still struggling with the guilt of his actions along with everything else.

"an eye for an eye that's how the game works i'm losing my autonomy, a mutilated part of me"

being aware that you are fictional character and therefore losing what autonomy you had because somebody is making all of your decisions for you & having a mangled, broken body that's a distorted version of who you are or used to be.

"today something changed i figured it's true the frontal lobe placed me behind my own strings 'cause i defy the way the game works i'll say it again, i'm only getting worse"

yet another reference to Rob being sentient and trying to go against the show's narrative

"the dull assumptions that I've tasted decency waiting for the embers to lose their glow and I, and I dunno oh, all I've ever seen before were clusters of holes"

he's really been put through the ringer for like. genuinely no reason. what was the point.

“the fire and i, alone again the guilt and i, alone again”

ough this one hits. after everything that happened in the re-run can you imagine the kind of guilt he felt? like. friendly reminder that The Re-Run was an infinitely more fucked up episode than The Disaster because one character CEASED TO EXIST and another literally DIED onscreen.

jesus. being somewhat responsible for that happening has GOT to fuck you up.

Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms

this one is a breakup song that i put on here just for The Ex because there is no heterosexual explanation for it. anyway

the themes of hating someone you’re in a relationship with and trying to get them out of your life but they just keep showing up despite every attempt you make to push them away,,, yeah

“i got boulders on my shoulders collarbones begin to crack there is very little left of me and it’s never coming back”

CRYING

"you say i'm changing sorry, i didn't know i had to stay the same could we talk about this later? your voice is driving me insane, driving me insane!

you get it. you see the parallels.

"you're a werewolf and i'm a full moon all your very worst enemies will be gone soon"

oh boy, more foreshadowing! but yeah that's it for The Ex. moving on!

Infinitesimal by Mother Mother

this is one of the few super mentally ill songs that i let stay on the playlist.

this song has a general theme of feeling like an idiot for being upset about seemingly minuscule problems. its also a song about existentialism, which i thought was fitting

All The Rowboats by Regina Spektor

this ones for The Future! starting with him kidnapping Banana Barbara and ending with him being erased, then painted back into existence.

like. listen to these lyrics and TELL me it cant be tied to the paintings predicting unchangeable futures.

"all the rowboats in the paintings they keep trying to row away and the captains' worried faces stay contorted and staring at the waves they'll keep hanging in their gold frames for forever, forever and a day all the rowboats in the oil paintings they keep trying to row away, row away"

Rät by Penelope Scott

i imagine this takes place when Rob wakes up after being painted back into existence.

now he's dealing with anger and resentment over Gumball again, but now its different because he was TRYING to do a good thing but he STILL got FUCKED OVER ANYWAY.

"i fell for circuit boards rocket ships pictures of the stars if you could only be what you pretend you are"

if only Gumball could be a somebody who's worthy of being the main character

"let me level with you, man as someone guilty of the game i took the help, I took the cash i would've taken your last name"

in reference to Rob trying to replace Gumball using the remote, but ultimately choosing not to

This Is Home by Cavetown

this song is where i introduce one of my favorite headcanons inspired by this playlist: that Rob was the one who built the transformation machines from The Inquisition.

in this song, he's starting to work on his plans to save everyone as well as reflecting on his life and the decisions he's made up until now.

“i’ll cut my hair to make you stare”

okay so. you know that cluster of polygons on Rob's back? it’s supposed to be a backpack, but the fans (myself included) always draw it as a ponytail.

in The Inquisition, its missing.

i'm serious, go and watch that episode back. it's just gone.

this was probably a purposeful choice during production so that the audience wouldn't see his model clipping through the floor in the shots where he's lying down, since that would break immersion.

but in conjunction with the ponytail headcanon? oh man.

i like to think that after the events of The Future, Rob cut his hair. mostly because i just LOVE the trope of a character cutting their hair to symbolize change/character growth. not sure how it would work with his whole... whatever he has going on, but i digress

"are you dead? sometimes i think i'm dead 'cause i can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head but i don't wanna fall asleep just yet my eyes went dark i don't know where my pupils are but i'll figure out a way to get us outta here"

i don't think Rob knows about the painting, but what he does know is that the world is ending, and he doesn't want to disappear before he can have a chance to save everyone.

"get a load of this monster he doesn't know how to communicate his mind is in a different place can everybody please give him a little bit of space?

reflecting on how he handled the confrontation in the Future. he was so fixated on finding answers and getting rid of obstacles that he hadn't thought to explain the reasons behind his actions to anyone.

"get a load of this trainwreck his hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet but little do we know the stars welcome him with open arms oh..."

little does Rob know that while he works on a solution, the Void is waiting for him.

Moonsickness by Penelope Scott

getting all of the machines to work right is an arduous task. he's building all of them from scratch, conducting all of the necessary tests, dealing with all of the bugs and problems, and its all on a time limit. the world is set to end any day now and he feels like he's failing, but he has to keep going for the sake of everyone in Elmore.

Who We Are by Imagine Dragons

we've finally made it to The Inquisition!! think of this song sort of like an internal justification for his actions as Superintendent Evil (goofy ass name btw, there's no way he didn't come up with that because of the Dr Wrecker persona)

“it’s who we are, doesn’t matter if we’ve gone too far, doesn’t matter if it’s all okay, doesn’t matter if it’s not our day,”

its for the greater good.

"oh, wont you save us from what we are?"

"up in the attic, down in the cellar lost in the static, coming back for more oh, for more"

they need to do this. they need to change. there's no other way.

but things never go his way, do they?

7 O'Clock by Penelope Scott

after he gets knocked out via t. rex clobbering, in my head there's an intense dream sequence that this and part of Some Nights takes place in.

"a glitch in the game, i loop like a bug and all that i ever wanted was a really tight hug"

REMEMBER WHEN HE AND GUMBALL HUGGED IN THE RE-RUN? BECAUSE I DO

"a glitch in the game, i loop like a bug and all i ever died for was a really tight hug"

SCREAMING AND CRYING ANS SOBBING AND WAILING AND BANGING MY FISTS ON THE FLOOR

"the future is static, it drips on the floor and makes its way underneath my bedroom door"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ARHARGGARRAFHRASFASGA (<- INSANITY)

Some Nights by fun.

oh my god we finally made it to the reason i made this post. if you've made it this far you have a problem (<- WROTE ALL THE SHIT)

so. this song is already about reflecting on your past. but my GOD its like they made this song for Rob because so many lines just fit him perfectly. lets get into it.

"but i still wake up, i still see your ghost"

when he started working on a way to save everyone, i like to imagine the ghost started appearing more frequently, eagerly watching him work on a solution and rooting for him to finally become a better person

"oh Lord, i'm still not sure what i stand for what do i stand for? what do i stand for? most nights i don't know anymore"

i'm. sorry guys i need a second. (UGLY CRIES SUPER LOUD INTO A PILLOW)

at this point he doesn't know who he wants to be. first he didn't know who he was. then he decided he would be someone driven by anger and vengeance. then he wanted to turn over a new leaf, but was dragged back into villainy.

so who should he be? the frail and scared amnesiac? the malicious and cunning villain? or... maybe, once all of this is over, he can finally choose for himself.

"well some nights i wish that this would all would end 'cause i could use some friends for a change! and some nights i'm scared you'll forget me again some nights i always win (i always win)"

I'M SOBBING JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY

"so this is it? i sold my soul for this? washed my hands of that for this? i miss my mom and dad for this? no, when i see stars- when i see- when i see stars, that's all they are"

this whole bit is him waking up and monologing about why they stopped him. if he's failed, what was the point of all of this? what was the point of anything?

"well, that is it guys, that is all five minutes in, and i'm bored again ten years of this, i'm not sure if anybody understands"

in reference to how people sometimes tune out in the middle of a show's the runtime and also. the show turned twelve this year. (kubrik stare)

"the other night, you wouldn't believe the dream i just had about you and me i called you up, but we both agree

the ground starts to shake under him and the floor caves in. we hear the final lines of the song as he falls in slow motion, deeper and deeper into the abyss.

"its for the best you didn't listen its for the best we get our distance, oh its for the best you didn't listen its for the best we get our distance, oh"

-Ish by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

in his final moments, Rob reflects on his life for a final time. falling through the air, he realizes that who he is, who he was, who he wanted to be never mattered anyway. because no matter what he did, it all ended the same.

with the world devoured by static and nobody left to defend it.

[naggingatlas]

assigning oingo boingo songs to tf2 mercs bc my gf’s brain is so sexy

scout - sweat. the tempo the lyrics the overall character of it yesss yesssss yessssss i don't even have to comment on anything demo - helpless. griffins death pose ³ . oh he rrreally hit rrrock bottom oi. gene said this is the most she'd ever heard a character in a song. no mum killing tho. might have thought about it idk really, not a fan of sugarcoating how fucked up his upbringing was. anyway this being like the most acoustic song out of all of them? perfect. perfect demo material. also danny sounds like a yakuza character. spy - dead or alive + find you. 1. gene has a superbly logical explanation that it's about the dead ringer and is obviously not from his perspective. i adore it. i am also a schizo princess and like it when things don't make no fucking cents luv so its like spy and he's thinking about himself from someone else's perspective mb he's got like a little stanley parabola narrator in his brain and he panics at the thought of himself.......... and he Loves it. he loves himself :) 2. oh wow what the fuck oh wow what the fuck oh wow what th yeah pls listen to this shit above all else. gene recommends listening to them both as not from spy’s perspective but im evil and stupid im the devil on ur shoulder saying idgaf. soldier - vultures. gene review: "exceptional animatic potential". the acoustic in the bg swaying up and down adds so fucking much idk it's so classicky-sounding fits janey finely. рокетжампим товарищи. engie - wild sex in the working class. the actual fucking fact this title exists. the samples. the thoughts of dell workin his ass off on those oil rigs or whateva and then going to a gay bar!!!!!!!! fuck!!! pyro - only a lad. obv. oh the struggles of an unknowingly aggressive nd kid! the "perhaps a little bit confused?"-- fucking gets me!!!!!!!!!!! i don't take the lyrics seriously all the way she's got a pretty different backstory in my mind (has the oh fuck it's That kid stuff as well just diff) but it's still fun still fun sniper - on the outside. autism B) just a really good and realistic (like the bitch can get angry thank you) depiction of snipah. genie also thinks “this sounds like australian music idk” sakjdfhdskjh medic - perfect system + what you see. 1. ok so this is SO COOL ACTUALLY. first OBVIOUSLY perfect medic melody INSANELY MEDIC-LIKE VOCALS i want to ouroboros myself every time he sounds like he hits himself in the throat, sSECOND! see, in my head med hates all the governments the most out of all the mercs and i imagine him singing this to himself to ironically express how fucking much he hates it :) AND the . how the fuck do you call it. like med's bad at empathy and relationships and shit esp before misha and the "in love" parts are him mocking that institute of "this is how u should like people" that he had never fit into. omggg 97 personality disorders pride. ALSO the word brothers sounds so good and natural comin out of his mouth. + just figure that one out urself its simple and its more satisfying that way :) GIGAMEDIC VOCALS HERE AS WELL!!!! heavy - mary. gene was super uncomfortable talking about this one in any more depth than "no comment" and "the mountain symbolizes a lot of things but no not homosexuality. thatd be cringe". this is like neutral milk hotel levels of fucked up lyrics in the context of misha. fucked up in general. wow.

[phecdasolar]

I have decided that I just don’t care anymore, my sanity is frayed, my emotional state is in disarray, and I could give less of a carp tuna sandwich what anyone else’s drama is, let me read my stories in peace.

No, I don’t agree with the author’s views, nor am I all that pleased with their actions. Can they write well though? Yeah, yeah they can. Is the story intriguing and captivating? Yeah, it is. Do I care about the behind the scenes controversial stuff or about what horrible or immoral thing whoever wrote it did? No, no I do not.

I will not read anything I don’t want to, and this includes things like explicit content and inc*st of any kind, because it make me feel gross and uncomfortable and I just flat out hate the entire concept of both things. Does the author who’s story I’m currently reading write other stories containing that stuff? I don’t know, and I don’t care, and I’m not going to read it if they ever do!!!!

I will GLADLY stay here, in my platonic and familial rated G through M fluff and angst corner, with my headphones on ignoring the world. Ignorance is pure freaking bliss, and I’ve had my headphones ripped off my ears and been dragged from my corner one too many times this year and I don’t have the emotional or mental capacity for this anymore. I just want to indulge myself in the things that make me smile and bring me joy and relieve the hollow feeling that’s becoming frequent in my chest again. I don’t care who’s providing the serotonin anymore, I just want to be happy and not have the weight of 50 different problems or controversies or issues hanging over my head at any time.

Despite what it may look like no I’m not yelling at anyone in particular, this is something that’s been building up for a period of months and no one person is the main stressor for this.

I’ve been often told by people that I can’t go around living life with my head stuck in the sand ignoring all the bad things forever and you know what? Yeah, I can’t do that forever, and I won’t. But not yet. There will be a day in the future where I finally take off the already cracked rose-tinted glasses and unplug my headphones and walk out of my corner but I haven’t reached that point yet.

So until that day comes, I’m going to do what makes me happy, wether that’s liking all the fan art in the Hazformers Au tag, reading every single piece of TMNT crossover fanfiction I can get my hands on, making dozens upon dozens of Homestuck OC’s I’m probably never gonna actually do anything with, liking stories and enjoying the content in them for the content and not for who the author is, or even thinking up my own stuff, and sitting for hours listening to music and imagining all the animatics I could make with this one song.

And if you don’t agree with my choices then that’s fine. You don’t have to agree with me. I’m just stating how I feel, what my personal opinions are, and how certain things effect me because of my own unique experiences and circumstances. My choices or opinions may not coincide with yours but that’s okay, opinions can coexist. I’m not saying you have to agree, all I’m saying is that I just want that choice to be respected.

Anyways It’s super late, I’m tired and feel a bit better after letting that out now heheh. Doesn’t stop the constant anxiety of feeling like I’m gonna be attacked no matter what I say or how I phrase it but hey, what can you do about it, heh? Night guys, and to my friends if they see this, love you guys, rest well and/or have a good day <3

[dachshund-games]

okie what are some song recs you have for us? List as many as you want (pls explain why they are so amazing too!!!)

Oh babe you have unlocked something you probably shouldn't have buckle the fuck up

Pictures in my head from the Muppet movie- Out of all the songs on here this is probably the one I relate to the most. My insecurities tend to target my relationships with my friends, so when I feel really bad about maybe ending a friendship I listen to this (Also the amount of times I've imagined animatics to this song is unhealthy)

A Pearl by Mitski- I want to scream this song from the top of a mountain that is all

Dead man's party by Oingo Boingo- Honestly this song is just a bop

Passing Through by Kaden MacKay- Sometimes it's easy for me to feel like I'm just watching my life as a movie and not living it the way I should. I also go through phases where nothing feels real and I feel really disconnected from my body and this song helps me rationalize that feeling and help me overcome it

Best Friend by Rex Orange County- I can apply the lyrics of this song to events of my life and every time I listen to it I either jam out in my room for hours or lay on the floor and cry. There is no in-between

Talia from Ride the Cyclone- This song is so lovely. I've never seen the musical, but in this song he's talking about how much he loves his online girlfriend. He's also Ukrainian and some of the lyrics are in Ukrainian! It also goes from a soft love song to disco to soft love song

The Uranium Suite from Ride the Cyclone- The ending of this song is one you belt while standing on a cliff. The lyrics are good and sets up the show well. 10/10

Adventure is out there by AJR- Prefacing this by saying that AJR holds a special place in my heart. My best friend introduced me to their music and they were also the first concert I ever went to. This song speaks to me in a way I can't describe and it's just fun to listen to

Navy Skies by Egg- This song makes me feel capable of loving someone. The soft music and sweet lyrics combine to make a song that makes my insides feel like maple syrup

Time Alive by KC Katalbas- This makes me feel like I'm driving along a road beside a beach with my hair blowing in the wind. I've cried to it several times

Death of a bachelor by Panic! At the disco- This is so good and it was also my top song of 2021 :/

Lotta true crime by Penelope Scott- My bestie and I both went through a true crime phase at the same time and she introduced me to this song. I'm still a true crime fan but I'm not as fanatic about it as I used to me, but this song reminds me of her

Karma by AJR- The ending of this song makes me cry because I can relate to it and holy shit it hits me right in the insecurities

Lay all your love on me from Mamma Mia!- THIS SONG IS A FUCKING BANGER AND IF YOU DISAGREE I WILL BECOME A VERY VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!!

505 by Arctic Monkeys- Sometimes I just sit on my bed and listen to this song and when I do that is the only time I feel like a whole human being, not just a consciousness in a body

Introduction to the snow by Miracle Musical- This is one of the saddest yet most beautiful songs I have ever listened to. It makes me feel emotions I didn't know I had and has gotten me through some pretty rough times. Just.... *cries*

Lavender by Penelope Scott- The only way I can describe this song is "Spinning downwards very fast" and honestly it slaps

The campfire song from The lightning thief musical- This song helped me get through the worst chapter of my life because I could relate to it so much. I can also sing it from memory