#me @ myself: how dare this not be perfect every single step of the way

[torchickentacos]

Wip Wednesday- not fanart, but my art course final! I think it’s coming along pretty okay. Artistic nudity under cut ✌️

headless horseman if he slayed tbh. Pencil is for scale (18x24 pad), this was done in charcoal. I did a basic sketch with an H pencil, added some value and more specific shape with vine charcoal, and then alternated between a General's charcoal pencil and hard charcoal chalk. Also blended with a chamois cloth, my hand, and those little paper rolly blendy things. The art blunt. does anyone know what I'm talking about.

[mazikeenhyde]

All is Fair in Love, War and Dominant Fuckery - Part 2

POLY JUDGMENT DAY – 18+ - MINORS DNI! 

WARNING – FULL ANGST  - FIGHTING (PHYSICAL&VERBAL), CHEATING, DRUGS, ED, DOMVS SUB etc 

WRESTLER-READER (female)  X WWE JUDGMENT DAY – RHEA RIPLEY, DAMIAN PRIEST, DOMINIK MYSTERIO, FINN BALOR 

-Part 2 -

Finn and I had gotten back home a lot later than I expected, we had trained for a solid three hours in a local gym. He mainly focused on the weights section and training his already perfect abs. Meanwhile I was imagining Dom’s face on the punching bag and let all hell break loose, as I knocked the ever-loving shit out of it repeatedly, cussing the twat under my breath. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Dominik with all my heart, I loved every single one of them. But at times Dom could be such a dick, especially since the whole Liv Morgan storyline had started. He was different, he acted like a whole new person at times. I could sit back and close my eyes just imagining how much I would love to just throttle him until he begged me to stop, except when he would be pleading with me, I wouldn’t… not at first anyway. 

As we made our way into the house it was dark, the lights were all off and the hallways silent. Kissing my forehead Finn quietly turned and crept upstairs as he was ready to shower and crash in bed. Same routine as ever for me, I needed to get a drink of water and have a moment to myself before I could turn off for the night. 

Making my way into the kitchen I reached out and flicked on the undercounter lights, knowing full well they wouldn’t be half as bright as if I turned on the main one. I didn’t want to disturb the others who I imagined were all fast asleep, but I was wrong. 

The second the light came on a dark figure leaning against the kitchen Island, mere inches in front of me came into full view. It was Rhea, and she was pissed. 

Her eyes, like dark inviting pools you could easily drown in glared down at me as she stood with her arms crossed. Adorning her black skinny jeans and laced corset top her fingers tapped against her skin, running her nails along her bicep. 

“Don’t Lie to me y/n.” She stated, bluntly, calmly and without any emotion. 

Stepping to the side I spotted a small wooden box behind her, and I recognized it all to well. It had been hidden in my bedside cabinet. It was private, and I knew the only person who had found out about it, obviously couldn’t keep their mouth shut. 

“little cunt” I muttered under my breath, closing my eyes for a second, but I was rather sharply bought back into reality as Rhea lunged herself forward, wrapping a hand around my throat and pushing me back, pinning me against the kitchen wall behind. Her grasp around my throat tightened and her eyes burned a whole wave of fury like I had never witnessed before. 

A part of me was terrified in that moment, the other part a little turned on. But the fear was definitely winning. 

“I’m not playing with you y/n.” Rhea spat out as her other hand slammed against the wall right next to my face. 

Her grip around my throat loosened as she took a tight hold to the front of my hoodie instead and threw me forward, tossing me straight into the kitchen island. I fell forward, stomach taking the full impact as I braced over the counter and paused trying to catch my breath. Rhea came up behind me and taking a handful of my hair pulled me back up so I was standing again and whispered in my ear. 

“Open it.” 

But I dare not, I knew what she would say, and she would never understand. 

“No.” I muttered silently, full of fear yet I knew the contents of that box needed to stay secret. 

Rhea seemed genuinely surprised by my response for a second as her grasp on my hair got tighter. 

“What did you say?” She spat out through gritted teeth, taking in a sharp deep breath and inhaling my scent. The smell of sweat and fear only further fueled that dominant side of her. 

“I said…NO!” I tried to shout as I attempted to escape her grasp. 

“I can open it…” a soft and quiet voice came from the shadowed hallway behind us. Rhea turned, pulling me with her as we both turned to see Dominik, in his black and yellow checkered pajama trousers and Latino Cheat t-shirt.

The boy took a step forward as Rhea released her grip on my hair and I took a step back, staring Dominik down. 

“Don’t you fucking dare” I stated, staring a hole through him, but I could tell he was enjoying being able to one up me. 

Before either of them could move I lept onto the Island countertop grabbing the box and holding it up in the air, away from their reach. 

 “FUCK OFF, JUST, JUST FUCK OFF THE LOT OF YOU!...”I paused to take a breath, “Why can’t you all just get out of my space, just get out of my, of my life for like 5 minutes!” I screamed, clearly loud enough that Damian and Finn had come downstairs and entered the kitchen as well in time to hear my great speech. They both seemed both surprised and a little worried at the sight of Rhea and Dominik standing at the base of the kitchen counter while I had somehow made my way to the top, waving a little wooden box in the air like it was the holy grail. 

Finn stared up at me as Damian walked to the side, unfortunately for me being a short arse in comparison he could still reach my hands, even if my arms were fully stretched out. Wrapping one large arm around my waist he pulled me down while pulling the box out from my hand with the other and passing it over to Rhea. 

“No Damian, stop! Please!” I pleaded as he placed me down on my feet and stood behind me. He held his arms out and held me in a tight embrace, it was both comforting and a little uneasy all at the same time. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to be nice or just keep me still. 

Dom smirked at me, offering a wink, like he was so pleased he could screw with me once again. Ever since Summer Slam he had found a new personality trait he was thriving off. This whole I’m better than everyone and I’m such a bad boy, blah blah blah. Even if I loved him, his behavior made me wanna knock him out so badly. He reached out his arm to take the box from Rhea, but she flicked his hands away, never breaking eye contact with me. 

“Nah, that’s not how we are going to play this.” Her Azzie accent was thick, deep and felt all to emotionally invested in this very moment. 

Slamming the box on the countertop she slid it over towards me, her eyes glaring through her dark eyeshadow. I could tell something in her had clicked. 

“You want us out of your space, out of your life? Fine” she said, taking a step forward and placing one finger below my chin to raise it up to meet her, tears welling up in my eyes. She didn’t care though; you would think she was enjoying it.  

“If this is so important to you, that it means more than what we have? Know damn well, that regardless of what anyone else thinks… I expected better from you, y/n” 

Great, way to make me feel shit. I was getting the I’m not angry, just disappointed lecture.

“But Rhea? She…” Dom interjected but before he could finish I had finally had enough of him. Breaking away from Damian’s grasp I pushed passed Rhea and in one swift move, my fist collided with Dom’s face. 

“FOR ONCE CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I screamed as he fell back, gripping his face. 

Damian was quick to grab a hold of me as Rhea got in between us and Finn latched onto  Dominik before he could retaliate. 

“You always gotta cause trouble don’t you y/n! You’ve always gotta be the center of attention!” He spat, wrestling with Finn’s grip. “Love over Loyalty y/n! and here you are keeping secrets!”   

“HA! That’s rich! Seems like you’re the attention whore these days, parading around RAW like your some GOD!” I tussled and escaped Damian’s grip as Rhea latched her arm around my front while I got in Dom’s face. 

“Funny thing, bringing up loyalty Dom Dom… how is Liv?” I questioned smiling, knowing full well I had hit a nerve. His cheek had turned red and was starting to swell at this point. It hurt my heart a little, but my anger soon buried those emotions. 

“That. Is. Just. A. Storyline.” Dom was furious, spitting every word through gritted teeth. I raised my eyebrows enjoying the reaction from him as Rhea pushed me back into Damian who took a tighter hold of me. 

“I Dunno Dom, seems a little too real these days” I offered him a wink, “Did you really need to spend sooooooo much time together outside of WWE’s walls. Someone’s enjoying themselves?” 

“ENOUGH” Rhea shouted, slamming her fist on the counter. “ENOUGH!” 

Just then a familiar ringtone filled the room, and I smirked as Dom’s face turned to his pocket. 

Dom took a hard swallow as Rhea reached into his pocket and glared at the photo of Liv Morgan flashing up on his phone screen. 

“Busted…” I sang out and smiled as Damian’s grip loosened on me. 

Dom threw his arms up and out from Finn as he ran over and grabbed the box from the countertop…

“If I’m going down, you’re coming with me!” he shouted. 

“NO!” I screamed and reached forward as he smashed it onto the floor, exposing its contents on the ground. 

My secret spilled out across the tile floor and not a single member of the judgment day said a word. They just stared at the floor, forgetting for a moment that only seconds before Dom and I were ready to fully knock the shit out of each other.

Rhea turned to look at me, disappointment etched across her face.

"It's not what you think..." I pleaded with her, tears running down my cheeks.

"Then tell me y/n, tell me."

TBC

-Anyone want me to put them on a tag list for part 3? -

[inmyheaddd]

meet me in the afterglow - averyjameson

a/n: this may be my fav averyjameson fic i’ve written 😕 wc: 1.7k warnings: swearing, our fav parents fighting 💔, angst but v fluffy ending i promise!! masterlist

avery sat in her room alone, reading a book to keep herself busy, but she wasn’t actually taking in a single word. 

she usually enjoyed the coldness of her room, but now it was just a bleak reminder that the one person who always radiated warmth and sent jolts through her with his touch wasn’t there with her.

and the worst part, was that it was her fault.

“what do you want me to do, heiress? act like i have it all figured out?” jameson’s voice grew louder, “well i don’t, i can’t just—”

“—just what?” she shot back, “jameson, i never asked you to act or pretend. i don’t need perfect, i don’t even want it. i need real.” her volume began to match his, even though she hated fighting with all her being. 

the moments from last night played on repeat in her mind like a broken record player she couldn’t stop. she chewed on her bottom lip, and before she knew it, her eyes began to sting. 

she wondered what jameson was doing now —drinking? driving at speeds far too high? blacked out? with his brothers? feeling nothing? feeling everything? whatever, she didn’t care. she didn’t care. 

“i need you to stop acting like nothing matters every time things get hard!”

“oh, so staying silent how you do is any better? fuck, avery, i hate to break it to you, but this is the “real” me. as real as it fucking gets.” he said through a force chuckle, letting go of the nickname and using her name instead. “if thats too much for you, or— or, or not enough for you, maybe you should just walk away.“ 

without realizing, another tear fell onto the page on her book, and it was like the boiling point for her. 

slamming the book shut and chucking it across her room, her hands came to cover her face as she sobbed, and she brought her knees up to her chest. 

she was muffling her sobs like she’d gotten so used to doing when she was growing up, so no one would hear her, but there was no one there to hear her now anyway. 

he took a step back, running a hand through his hair frustratedly as avery blinked back angry tears. “jameson, don’t even say that to me.” her voice quivered, but she wouldn’t let a tear drop. “don’t you dare look for the easy way out. you’re a hawthorne, aren’t you? the easiest answer is never the right one — you’re the one that told me that.” 

she trudged her way out of her room to the kitchen, after angrily wiping at her tears and staring at her reflection for far too long. 

she revised over all the things she would say to jameson when she saw him again, how sorry she was, how she never meant any of it, how she was so out of her mind.

jameson laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “avery, none of this is easy." his eyes met hers, his voice colder than she’d ever heard it. “you want someone i can’t be. you want a version of me that doesn’t exist. i can’t change myself no matter how hard i try, and believe me — i have.”

her throat began to tighten as she struggled to keep her composure. “jameson, no. i want you—whatever flaws you think you have and all.” she exclaimed, the next part coming out much quieter than she intended. “but you…” she trailed off, “you don’t even trust me with all of that. why can’t you understand that i love you for who you are? i want to work for us. i know we aren’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t something worth trying for.” 

“heiress,” he paused, “trying isn’t working anymore. down the line we’ll both be miserable and you’ll say nothing until we have one of these bursting screaming matches like this again. you don’t deserve it. it’s not worth it.”

it’s not worth it. they weren’t worth it. she wasn’t worth it.

avery swirled the glass of water she filled up as she leaned against the counter, dim low lighting filling the empty kitchen. the freezing water made her feel as cold on the inside as she was outside. 

she finished her glass and made her way out of the kitchen, making a turn to get to the stairs, only to stop in her tracks and stagger back. 

her eyes met familiar green ones with slight bags under them, and an unruly bed of hair that usually looked a little tidier. 

avery was at a loss for words, jameson hawthorne, standing infront of her, giving up because things got too hard?

she scoffed, but she sounded more dejected than she did angry. “fine then. don’t try anymore.” she swallowed, taking in the way jameson’s brows softened and a flash of something passed through his eyes, though she couldn’t quite place it. regret? anger? satisfaction? 

she let her eyes do the talking for a moment before speaking. “you are the most selfish person i’ve ever met.” she added with purpose, every word like a dagger to him. she didn’t wait for anything he had to say, turning on her heels with one last look and walking out of the room. 

jameson called out for her, but she kept walking. her heart beat faster than it ever had before and it was like every inch of her body wanted to turn around and collapse in his arms. 

—to apologize for everything she did and didn’t do, to look into his eyes and see that glitter of love in them, for him to kiss the tears off of her and simply be there.

unfortunately for avery kylie grambs, she didn’t always get what she wanted, and she kept walking forwards. 

avery felt like she had the wind knocked out of her as jameson stood infront of her, breathing heavily as he looked equally as surprised to have found her.

every rehearsed line and practiced speech she had left her mind in that moment. the only thing that rang through it was his name. “jameson,” she said, almost whispering. 

“heiress, wait.” he said, reaching an arm out to stop her leaving— he couldn’t let her go. she wasn’t going to anyway, she felt frozen in place. she also didn’t want to leave.

“i, i don’t know what to say, jameson, i’m so sorry.” she said with a light shake of her head, “i was so out of line last night, and i shouldn’t have—“

he cut her off, “no, avery, let me just say this, please.” he said with pleading eyes. “i think i should be institutionalized with the way i felt like i’ve lost my mind without you. i know i lost my mind last night, that’s for sure.” 

he chuckled nervously, and avery knew jameson hawthorne never got nervous. “avery, you are worth every single thing on this goddamn planet— in the whole universe. i don’t think i could begin to conceptualize a life without you in it. what i said last night? i lied.“ 

he took a deep, shuddering breath in. “i said i couldn’t change for you, but i know that’s not true, because i have— before my own eyes. every waking day i spend with you makes me want to become better, for you, heiress.” 

avery felt her eyes begin to prick with tears once again, but she didn’t feel a single drop of hurt in her body now. “i’ve never felt so deeply devoted and in love with anything in my life before, and that scares me. it scares me in a way nothing has before because i know it’s so real. but im not letting my fears get in the way, not anymore.” 

jameson’s chest heaved as he looked down at avery, “heiress. you don’t have to say anything.” he said upon seeing her glossy eyes.

there was nothing she could say anyway to express the complete enamored feeling she felt when she looked at him, to express how much she loved him. 

she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, as his arms wrapped around her middle like if he held any looser she would disappear, his head dropping down to her neck.

“i’m so sorry,” avery sobbed into his shoulder, “i love you so much. i’m so in love with you. i couldn’t ever imagine losing what we have.” 

“you won’t ever have to, heiress. i’m staying forever.” he mumbled, as one of his hands came to run through her hair. when she didn’t respond, and he heard her muffled hiccups, he spoke once again. “heiress,” he he lifted his head, his voice low and almost musical. “don’t get all sappy on me now, i much prefer that smile of yours.” 

she sniffled as she let out a little laugh, pulling back from the hug and wiping away at her tears. “shut up.” 

jameson’s smile only grew at the sound of her laugh, and her now slightly red eyes met his. her smile faded for a second before she spoke again, remembering the events that had just happened the day before. 

“jameson, i— you have no idea how sorry i am.” her brows slightly furrowed as she shook her head, echoing her words for earlier.  

he chuckled, reaching his hands out to grab hers, “yeah? i think if you repeat it one more time, i’ll have a pretty good idea.” 

“stop it,” she laughed, “im being serious.” 

“so am i. you don’t have to apologize.” 

“i do, though. and i’m sorry,” 

“if you say you’re sorry once more, i may have to consider bringing you to rehab for people pleasers.” 

“jameson,” avery breathed out through a chuckle, “i just wanted you to know.”

“heiress, i know.” he nodded with a small grin as he brought her closer, and she let go of his hands and brought them to his chest. 

his eyes flickered over her whole face, frequenting back to her lips and eyes, and there was that glitter of love in his that she loved so much.  

“can i kiss you now?” he mumbled.

“you don’t even have to ask.” her voice was barely audible in the small space between them.

he hummed in disagreement as he leaned in, his lips barely touching hers. the mere act made avery feel like she was buzzing alive as her breath caught in her throat. it would never get old.

“i like hearing you want me, like how i want you.” he whispered against her lips, before finally pressing a kiss to them, and they quickly found their rhythm against eachother. 

his hands moved to cradle her face, like he needed her as close to him as humanly possible, his brows knotting deeply as he kissed her.

jameson pulled back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against hers as they both caught their breath. 

his thumb brushed gently across her cheek as he looked at her, his heart leaping at the sight of the her smile.

"see," he murmured, his voice soft, "much better than the sappy stuff."

avery let out a small laugh, feeling light on her toes. she looked into his eyes, feeling the love pouring out of them. “everything is better with you.”  

taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @sweetlikeanangel

@littlemissmentallyunstable @anintellectualintellectual @tornqdowarnings @maybxlle @sheisntyou

@emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee — if you’d like to be added or removed lmk!

[firstkanaphans]

I know this post is only for like two people, but I’m going to make it anyway. So, my obsession with Dead Friend Forever finally reached critical levels and I resorted to binge-watching The Hidden Character just to get more content. For those that don’t know, The Hidden Character (which they literally call “THC”) was the reality show Be On Cloud used to cast DFF. It is bad. Like really bad. And not in a it’s-so-bad-it’s-good-type way. It’s one of the most exploitative pieces of media I have ever watched. I walked into it with a favorable view of BOC, Mile, Apo, and Pond (the CEO), and walked out of it hating all of them.

A small collection of things that happened over the 11-episode run:

Everyone was told that they had to share every single aspect of their life with the viewers or they would be eliminated. And, in fact, the first person eliminated was told that it was because he wasn’t being open enough with the audience. They filmed these boys—one of whom was only seventeen at the time—talking explicitly about their sex lives. Which is, of course, fine to talk about. It’s not fine to air it on television! Even some of the games themselves contained sexually suggestive content (i.e. Which do you prefer "eating" with—your hands or your mouth? If you were to cheat on your significant other, would it be just sex or a full-blown affair?)

During the first part of the show, everyone had a secret that the other players were supposed to guess. One of the player’s secret was that he used to be homophobic. (Questionable casting for a company that only hires men, but I digress). He was praised for having changed his mind. In contrast, JJay’s secret was that he was raised in an abusive household and had once hit his father. Pond crucified the poor guy for this. He made him sit there in front of the whole cast sobbing and apologize for hitting his dad who was an abusive asshole.

After the first half of the show—which served absolutely no purpose at all—we finally move onto the acting portion. This is, after all, supposed to be a talent competition. The judges were so mean. Especially Apo. He was like the Simon Cowell of BOC. There was no constructive component to their criticism. The fact that any of these people are still acting is honestly unbelievable. I would have gone home and cried myself to sleep and then never stepped foot on a stage again.

At one point, each of the groups was assigned a scene from KinnPorsche to act out (because BOC very clearly owns no other IP). One of the pairs was given the scene where Porsche gives Kinn a handjob in the bathroom. I wish I was kidding. 

The judges constantly told the contestants to make their scenes feel new and different but any time the actors actually tried to change anything, they complained it was “too” different and the original script was already perfect so who were they to think they could create something better. Once again, Apo and Mile, the original actors of these scenes, are the ones judging them! Like of course they like their version better. What is even happening??

And finally, the whole fucking thing was rigged for Ta to win. Like don’t get me wrong, I love Ta and I think he did a great job, but he was the only one who came into that competition with a built-in fanbase and the winner was chosen by popular vote.

It was all just…baffling. Especially from a company that claims to be trying to change the industry. Like if you want the industry to stop being so exploitative to its actors, maybe start with yourself? It also makes those condescending “how dare you watch our shows just for the NC scenes” press releases they do every week even more annoying.

I have no clue what the reaction to this show was while it was airing but god I hope they never do it again. It literally makes me feel so weird watching DFF now. I feel like those poor kids are being held hostage. Maybe CEO Pond’s been the one under the mask the whole time 🔪

[butchhazard]

my trans to radfem story. started off as a response to another post i saw but i kind of just kept rambling and now it’s its own thing lol. i was always a bit nervous to share my personal experience out of fear of being judged but i think a lot of people will be able to relate to my perspective. or keep sending me hate if you want it’s all the same to me atp 👯

in the same vein of always seeking out arguments against my own views i frequently look at trans blogs and the amount of projection they do about “TERFs” is astounding. especially claiming that radical feminists have no sense of “kinship” with other women and that we think being a woman is all about suffering and hating yourself. they literally only believe this last part because we’re the only group of people who are honest about misogyny. the “kinship” thing is especially crazy because i WAS trans for *8 years* and during that time almost every single one of my friends was trans as well. i had zero solidarity or kinship with other women and believed them to be completely unrelatable because i was “different”.

the one time i felt brave enough to confide in my closest friend of 10+ years (who later dumped me like trash for becoming a feminist) that i was uncomfortable with penises and only wanted to be with “people with vaginas” she looked at me like i was crazy and told me, “that’s weird. I don’t feel that way. You probably shouldn’t say that.”

eventually i did cave into the pressure of being “inclusive” and put myself in many dangerous situations where men were able to take advantage of me and abuse me. at one point i truly believed i had more in common with TIMs than with “queer cis women” and had come to the conclusion that cis women were dangerous. did this MRA rhetoric serve to strengthen my female friendships like TRAs are somehow claiming it did or did it just make me the perfect victim??? (being male-identified in this way made me a horrible friend not only to other women but to myself as well.)

meanwhile i peaked as a radfem towards the end of 2021, when i was 22. i was staying at a women’s college w/ my ex. for 2 weeks we both felt completely insane and like we had just stepped into another reality. suddenly our lives became so much clearer. we were sobbing constantly just reflecting how misogyny and male violence had affected not only our lives, but the lives of our mothers, sisters, and friends. i was horrified to speak to any of my trans friends about feminism because of the “TERFs are nazis” shit we had been conditioned into believing, but i literally believed that i owed them the truth as a friend who cared and was concerned for their safety. i also naively believed that since *i* realized the TERF propaganda was a complete lie and that radical feminism was not only empowering but life-giving, they would feel the same. nope! they called my ideas brilliant and “galaxy brained” to my face and then turned around and told everyone else i was now dangerous. everyone cut me off from their life as punishment for daring to think differently. i was completely devastated. the friendships that i held so close to my heart for years and years meant nothing to them. this hurt especially because i was starting to realize just how easily they would forgive their male friends for worse, including things like disrespecting them in public or physically assaulting a woman. these were lesser crimes than being a female-identified woman.

meanwhile, around the same time, rumors of our cancelation had been going around the college and another feminist actually reached out to us. she called us her sisters and introduced us to other likeminded women who were so intelligent, supportive, gnc but proudly female. we were all the same yet so different, and different viewpoints were encouraged instead of suppressed. i was learning more about the world and my place in it every single day. for the first time in my life, i felt purpose. every since i was a little girl i had this foreboding sense that other people knew something i didn’t and that i was always “missing a piece of the puzzle”. that feeling disappeared after i became a radical feminist. 

since then, almost every feminist woman I’ve met has been such an inspiration to me, regardless of whether i like her or not. it’s actually funny that TRAs claim we have no sense of “kinship” as if women’s lands and festivals aren’t the ultimate expression of friendship and solidarity lol. i’m constantly floored especially by how kind and generous older women are to me, and how easily women my age accept me if i just allow them to. i love being a woman, i love other women, and i know that other women love me.

women in general do have a solidarity/kinship problem but this is simply not true of lesbian feminists and other radical feminists as a community. other women are our strength and lifeblood. after my ex and i broke up (it was messy girl) i wanted so badly to hate her but i literally couldn’t because i still loved her as a woman even if i didn’t love her as a partner anymore. to this day i would probably struggle to come up with a woman i actually “hate” bc it’s just not in my nature any more. my anons literally can’t relate lol 

yes radfems as a group aren’t perfect and we are generally “angry” but so are TRAs. the main difference is we direct our anger outwards rather than inwards. when i was 23 i submitted a letter to Lesbian Connection that included this paragraph that still sums up my views of being a TIF vs radfem completely:

“Realizing that my femaleness was the only thing that determined my gender– that I was born a woman and would die a woman despite not conforming to made up standards created by and for men, liberated me from the chains of believing I had been “born in the wrong body” and needed plastic surgery to fix myself. I was never born wrong and the fault never lay with me– it lay with the patriarchal society we all live in which forces females and males into incredibly limiting boxes.”

[oscconfessions]

Coming OUT as a Samuel Thornbury arm rider(NOT dick rider that feels wrong to say that)

I swear to god people will shit so hard on his writing (imo) only because Tpot 8 wasn't rhe most amazing and perfect episode(or post split but I'll talk about it later). You all will see a tpot episode you loved and go "OHHH MY GOD BEST IN THE SERIES!!!! CARY AND MICHEAL COOKED!!" and whilist usually they are a BIG part of why the episode is so god(credit where credit is do), Sam will be the one to write it. You all will talk about how well writeen a tpot episode is, or how fun was that episode to watch and never give him credit for writing him.

Why do you all hate him? Because he wrote a good Chuck of post split? Look I barely finished post split, I didn't like it at all. But that was 3 years ago you realise writing can improve? Don't get me wrong it wasn't good(imo) I'd say it was shit, but do you want JNJ to hire people based on "OH! you did a Poopy episode once, were gonna have to remove you from this communtiy forever!" I know this might sound Wild but writing a shitty season of a bfdi isn't a warcrime.

Do you all hate him because he gave tpot a plot? No hate to Cary I do enjoy his writing, but tpot 4 -tpot 6 are honeslty kind of bland. Like full on regression to the first season of bfdi. Cary can write good modern bfdi episodes, he has enoguh whimsy to do so. However tpot 4-6 feel like filler to me, they aren't filler but they feel like it. I don't want to sound rude but as the biggest object show bfdi should at least try to standout/live up to your Legacy. (Basically I wouldn't shit on a smaller object show for having this format) instead of having a filler full on season. I also think it dosen't align with their vision for tpot. But eh I won't go too deep because I feel like Cary and Micheal are aware of this, and that's why they gave the writing Staff to someone else. (Also I feel Cary knew his wiritng wasn't suting tpot, since it was ment to be the more serious show. Like Sam did not stab Cary and Micheal 40 times and force them to make him the writer for Tpot, that's kind of not how projects work guys)

Going back don't a lot of you LOVE satomi for bfb?(Dgmw I love satomi for bfb too) But why is Sam suddenly this iredemmable writer for DARE putting plot in your bfdi!! (That's not say satomi dosen't have her detractors but they are on reddit I don't think satomi is a r/bfdi reddit user b) MOST OF THEM whilist kind of annoying don't go out of their way to Harras satomi(from what I've seen))

Be cirtical all you want but don't harass him for it! IF this matters to you THIS MUCH go and take a shower and watch something else then bfdi/object shows or watch a smaller object show. If you can't praise another bfdi project without feeling the need to mention him in a negative light YOU MIGHT BE OBSSED WITH THIS MAN, if you can't help but think about how much you hate that guy and his writing 24/7 you might need to touch grass and watch something else (adventure time is really good! I recommend it.<3). If your going to harass somebody over a show about A ice cube who seeks revenge mabye you should step away from the keyboard and find a different way to get your rage out.

Quick "Notes" incase anyone takes me out of context/makes assumptions aboit me:

It's perfectly FINE to dislike Samuel Thornbury's writing or him as a person whatever reason you have! It's perfectly normal to be critical of public people! I'm slightly cirtical of a few of the Bfdi writers/team memebers myself. BUT DON'T HARASS THEM, ESPICALLY OVER THE WRITING OF ALL THINGS.

I am not saying he should be the only writer! Or that he is the only good one. I'm all in for more people writing main episodes or more episodes with cowriters. I thoguh the new tpot 10-11 were amazing and those episodes had 4 writers! Shit the newest tpot ep was enjoyable and it had 2.

You can be critical of post split, Just don't blame EVERY single issue with it on him yada yada.

I don't know Sam personally, I do not have a parasocial relationship with him. It's just some of you are wayy WAYYY to harsh/weird when it comes to critizing him. And I think that kind of vaugeposting only makes the communtiy worse/dosen't help anyone

Thank you<3

(Sorry for grammer mistakes, also tell me if I got any info wrong this is ask on a ask blog I'm not doing the work to check if I got every small detail right. on this to watever mod reads this I'm so sorry)

.

[iamlittlelostsoul]

First Love

Hello my lovelies~!! It's 4am here and I can't sleep yet I'm feeling a lil romantic today (cries in single) no angst (wohooo!) and a lil bonus of some smut<3

Malleus is such a bbg CHANGE MY MIND I DARE YOU<3

first time writing smut so hope you all liked it ≧◉◡◉≦

Summary: Falling for her was the happiest I've ever been. Stay by me hold me tight and kiss me.

warning/s: NSFW. smut.

MalleYuu || Malleus x OC(Yurika)

if you're curious of my oc here's her profile! -> Yuri

(and if you'd like you can listen to this while reading it <3)

______________________________________________________________

Malleus pov

It was a hot summer evening when we first met.

By the garden at the abandoned dorm called Ramshackle a place that is almost in ruins but still has its lovely charms.

It was where I spend my evening or midnight strolls because of the quiet and perfect atmosphere.

Never did I expect that this place that looks almost like some ancient ruins have 2 inhabitants, If I'd not missed the opening ceremony maybe I might have known?

So like I was saying I was on my stroll when a cat or raccoon (?) looking monster kicks open the door and started throwing a tantrum like a small human child about how is he not getting any cans of tuna when he is such a great and mighty creature soon to be a great mage.

A girl with short, silvery purplish curls came following the monster, grabbed her shoe, and threw it at the little thing before it could even think of running and escaping her wrath.

It was quite a sight I couldn't help but snort.

She halts scolding the little monster and stares up at me.

It was quite weird I felt my chest tighten and my heart skip a beat as her curious dark gray eyes bore at mine.

I could clearly remember how our first conversation went that time.

"Oh-..hey! Sorry you had to see this." she says as she bows politely.

"it's no problem child of man" I said as I take a few steps towards them.

The talking cat monster took this chance to flee which the girl responded to with a groan of frustration.

"I'm Yurika. Yurika Evermore by the way! Call me Yuri" she says as she switches back her attention to me with a smile. It picked my curiosity that she doesn't seem to fear me does she perhaps not know me? I thought that time.

Which turned out to be correct as she waited for me to introduce that time.

Not wanting her attitude to change once finding out who I really am I told her to call me whatever she wanted.

It's better later that she finds out who I am.

She has a very charming personality I thought as I left her that night and lay on my bed fully awake a smile graces on my lips which I only found out when Lilia pointed it out as I came back though I gave him no details on why perhaps I am smiling.

It was not long till we met again. And she was as bubbly as our first meeting, although she does have a slightly sarcastic and sassy attitude it's no surprise she managed to befriend so many such as myself.

Every time we met my heart always skips a beat and would sometimes pound loudly.

Even when she finally discovers who I am she still treats me like she does to her friends and still calls me "Tsunotaro" which somehow eased my heart I got a little too fond of her calling me Tsunotaro.

She taught me so many things and somehow managed to help me get a little closer to the other students.

'I like her.' I thought. 'I really like her very much.' I thought once again as I stroll Ramshackle's garden in the middle of the night. The place is slowly becoming more homey and lively as flowers bloomed along the patches and of course, the garden while to dorm is slowly getting redecorated using the allowance she gets from the headmaster, it was quite a surprise she managed to bargain for an allowance knowing how stubborn the crow man was.

We gradually grew closer and closer. And I was never not thankful for my lucky star for sending this girl to NRC and allowing her to meet me. And become my first friend....or maybe something else?...

Gradually my thought gets almost filled up with her. How is she doing today? Has she eaten already? Is Grim giving her problems? Is she having a hard time with classes? plenty of questions fill up my head the temptation to check on her every time and day is quite a struggle to resist.

And somehow Lilia has me all figured out telling me I fell in love.

'Love. So this is love?' I thought. 'I like it'

If there would be anyone strong and capable enough to steal my heart I knew it definitely is her.

Although I was a little anxious though...does she likes me back? or will I get friend-zoned like Shroud's depiction of an anime he watched.

I was fearful so I got as much bits of advice from Lilia on how to court a human.

And I start with gifts. I send her jewelry, dresses, and fabrics she could use for her hobby. I'm not sure how much I should give to make her content so I gave her as much as I could which is a huge pile that reaches up to the door.

That should suffice right?

I followed it up with quality time. There's nothing best but spending time with the person you love. Watching movies, evening/midnight strolls, studying, and many more. And she seemed quite pleased with my presence in her life.

He also tries to ward off any possible rivals not like they're strong enough to even rival him nor would they even dare or maybe a certain lion beast man might? Although he did try his best not to push them off too much and upset her.

He did everything he could to court her he's not sure though if he's succeeding or not...but seeing as she never reacted badly maybe he is succeeding...

So putting up a brave and confident face as I went to visit her for their usual hangouts.

I enters her dorm and I'm so proud of her seeing the dorm looking more livable and home-like.

We went on with our usual routine chatting about what went on our day, watching movies, and such...till I decided to spill the beans.

"Child of man" I whisper as we watch a musical show she loves so much that she claims exists in her world.

"Yeah?" she says as she turns her attention from the screen to me.

"I...would like to tell you something" I confess I could feel my cheeks heat up and my heart pound loudly.

"go on" she says as she stares up at him curiously

"I...love you." I said.

So many emotions passes through her face as her mouth hangs open and she stares at me in disbelief. "O-oh...really?? Like really?? romantically?" she says sounding a bit too eager and excited.

Which made my heart soar and I felt the butterfly in my stomach flutter around at her words. "Yes...yes I do. I love you, Yuri." I whisper directly on her ear.

She shudders in response as her mouth kept hanging open until she spoke "yes! I love you too" she says jumping in my arms as we tumble and fell on the couch with her on top and we both stare at each other for a moment before laughing in unison.

I've never been so happy in my whole life. Neither could I then imagine a world without her after meeting her I think the world would feel all monochrome and blue.

Cause she's my world now. And I revolve around her like a planet to the sun.

I wrap my arms securely around her waist as I asked permission to kiss her.

She answers with a nod. And I made little effort to waste time as I press my lips on hers.

She answers my kiss with a kiss and we share it passionately on the living room couch thank seven Grim is sleeping over at Ace and Deuce's room.

I roll my hips on hers and she lets out a soft moan as she felt my arousal press on her womanhood.

I continue kissing her not wanting to let go we didn't even realize we were already standing and walking up to her room with her legs wrapped around my torso and I carry her while are tongues clash and dance into the passionate rhythm we share.

I press her on her bed as I pull back to catch our breath. Were both panting with our cheeks flushed and clothes a bit wrinkled and messed up but neither do we mind it as I pepper her neck with soft fluttery kisses before gently sucking and nipping leaving a hickey or two near her jaws.

I hastily began to remove our clothes a little too eager and impatient as I struggle to unbutton the last button of her blouse.

She laughs as she lends me a hand.

She looks so beautiful bare and naked for someone like I. I cup her breast and gave it a few squeezes. She writhes and moans as I gave her left nipple a small lick.

I circle my tongue around her already hard nipples before suckling on it she moans a little louder.

I repeat the same actions on her right sooner she's moaning my name. Oh how lovely it sounds coming out from her lips.

I spread her legs and gets in between her.

My hands slowly glide from her chest to her cunt, gently exploring the entrance before putting a finger inside.

Her eyes flutter close as she throws her head back and her body arches towards me. I continue thrusting and curling my finger in her cunt.

Once i'm sure she's comfortable enough I added another this time moving my fingers faster and pushing in a little deeper. Her walls clench and unclench on my fingers as I move and add another in.

Our hearts pound loudly and became one, our breathing ragged.

She writhes and moans loudly pleading for more and whispering sweet I love you's.

Pulling out my fingers I decided to take it a step up. Making sure she's comfortable in her position I pump my cock a few times and gently rub the tip by her entrance before slamming in.

I groan and she moans. Grabbing on her waist I thrust in while her arms hook around my neck and pull me in for a passionate kiss.

Eager for more I began fastening my pace and pushing in a little too deeper. She moaned loudly as we kiss tongue-to-tongue teeth-to-teeth. Her nails dug on my back it'll surely leave some marks and I'd gladly wear it with pride.

My cock twitched inside her and her walls pulsate and tightens.

A low rumble came out my throat feeling closing and I knew she does too I hasten my pace and thrust deeper occasionally grazing her prostate making her scream and beg.

I let out a groan as I did one final thrust deep inside of her before releasing his orgasm. She follows along after a few seconds passes by.

We're both pant chest rising and falling, eyes hazy with lust and love, Cheeks burning red with passion and adoration for the latter.

Her pussy is filled to the brim with his cock still inside and their adjoined cum some even leaking out of her entrance.

I lean down on her chest, face nuzzled on the crook of her neck as I pulls out. Cum oozes out of her cunt dripping along her thighs to the sheets

"I love you, my child of man" I whispered lovingly.

"I love you too, Tsunotaro" She whispers back.

[...end]

[astrxlfinale]

"I would have thought you returned home with the rest, Caelus."

It is neither accusation nor condemning, the Navigator need not turn around to know who it is that treads upon her shadow. To be apart of the Astral Express is to be seen and known by its Navigator. That should she wished every step taken is seen in advance, the decisions that lead up to them privy.

But there is no need for her to know such, ones autonomy warrents Himeko to look away the mundane. Wherre that gentle guiding hand is not needed she will not offer it and allow them weather uncharted seas with their own map and compass.

This too is one such example of freedom.

Ember eyes continue to stare starward, looking towards where the depths of the Dream reef meets the shore of the Penacony born of a cancer. It is by the Watchmaker's side that the woman once stood previously, pressing something cherished into the hands of a dream that has long turned to seafoam.

'Well met, Mikhail. The Trailblaze continues on to continue upon the ground work you have left behind.'

Its odd to be upon this end, to see what and who is left behind. It leaves her with a strange listlessness in need of quiet contemplation. Yet that time has come to an end it seemed.

"Rather rude to sneak upon a lady, no?"

He hadn't expected to catch the rhythm of flames by the dreamy ocean side. It was a land where the borders were bound, only outside influences of powerful wills and Memoria coalescing into the valued in between. Being met with Himeko's words had given him pause, and once again, there's this measure of distance that presents itself before him.

Out of reach. Yet at the same time, finding a way to keep close.

"Welcome the unexpected. These shoes of mine aren't feeling tired just yet." Caelus draws as a measured response, daring to take those steps forward. Within moments he'd be situated by the side of the Astral Navigator. A fair share of distance apart, yet, shoulder to shoulder they would stand as a somber and warm weight permeates the atmosphere. Within his own soul, it simply isn't the measure of loss that could be felt rippling in Dreamflux Reef.

What surges in the mind of the Trailblazer is how a treasured Nameless remolded the torch. How to this day, so many of them are carrying it through various mediums, physical, spiritual, in measures and means unique only to their particular universe. Never before could he imagine that loss could leave such a sublime measure of warmth.

Even if he's never been able to share a single, proper word with the one known Mikhail Char Legwork, Penacony's very own Watchmaker.

Someone who wove together every fragment of time Asdana needed.

"I certainly don't mind compensating if I've been too daring. ..But, I'd like to consider us Trailblazers, just traversing through old paths left behind."

"A little inspiration for something new."

A gentle flow of Imaginary energy would bring forth a familiar article into his grip. Even this very fabric, an old Navigator's hat held the intent to guide, and to be a force that traverses alongside them with each step. All he holds in his hand is merely a beacon.

For the true flame that's known as The Watchermaker's Legacy is a force that's spiraled all throughout Asdana. A lie and a legend, the perfect ingredients to weave together great darkness and the greatest hope within.

Even now, Caelus can't help but draw a smile at the sheer moxie of it all.

"I've found myself roaming the streets here now days.. More and more. All just to take in a feeling that the glamor Penacony really made me come to miss. In my eyes, the roots of it all is a hell lot more interesting."

The Journey. Never was it about the destination from the beginning.

Acheron's words about Endings still hold as a thoughtful chime in his mind.

Never does he take that moment to turn towards Himeko. For the time, he'd join where those ember eyes of her's focus, the golden magnanimity of his own being no different as he holds a simple thought.

"Himeko? What do you see out there right now?"

@chasersglow

[18shadesofmay]

Jumping Off Could Be a Near-Life Experience

I’ve sat down yet again to squeeze thoughts out of myself to punch them out on a screen, hit “ctrl + s” and never think about it again.

This is always the hardest part, having the intention to create something, but not knowing how to without sampling all the other things that have, in their own tiny ways, been the reason behind your desire to write. And there’s always the little hope that you turn out to be intellectually related to Quentin Tarantino, the slight possibility that you could craft your own dream bungalow using one brick from every construction site on the planet.

I think I’m really just afraid. Maybe I look to recycle and compile ideas because I’m too scared to have one of my own. Because what if it plays out as a terrible smelly load of dreadfulness? What if, with all my humanity and flaws, and like all artists who have ever created something beautiful, I actually have a bad idea, and realise I’m not free of imperfections? What a Greek tragedy, skyscrapers would topple, the stock market might crash, Buddhists would start believing in money, or worse, I could get another bad idea. Instead, let’s just lounge and bask in admiration of the creative geniuses of the world, and keep our mouths shut. Because look at these idiots, they actually dared to be original, and look where that got them.

I love it when this happens. This thing that’s happening right now. I had nothing to write about, but I wanted to write anyway, so now I’m writing about having nothing to write about. It feels neat and rewarding when things line up for you. Or girls. Girls lining up for you is also pretty cool. Anyway, in the expression of the annoyance that writer’s block has eternally caused me, I have something original. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Although, it’d be nice to write something that comes from preparation and structure someday, for a change. This is gratifying and leisurely, but the dopamine rush I’ve always wanted isn’t going to brew itself. All I need to do is not reject every single piece of writing I ever decide to type up.

I’m looking for that flow of thought that drags my fingers along as they desperately try to keep up, almost mocking them for being so incapable, and I begin to forget what I had to type next, because I was too occupied putting together everything that came after. And when I’m done, the big breathy victory sigh that makes me realise I really need a glass of water because my breath stinks like rotting pork. The self-imposed expectation subversion, planning out five pages for the day but barfing out (metaphorically, you’re welcome) twenty on the trot without a hiccup. Saying to yourself “I’m gonna need a bigger boat” and feeling like a cooler Roy Scheider. And finally, locking your fingers together and doing the customary conclusion stretch that pops your knuckles like they had popcorn in them.

Of course, it’s all a fantasy. There’s no way all those things could happen to a single human being in a lifetime. It’d be unfair to people without this godly amount of fortune, meaning absolutely everyone. Does that mean though, that I shouldn’t strive for it? Does the lack of realism in a concept imply hopelessness, or is it a source of desire, urging us to at least try? Our constant pursuit of perfection is forever going to be an uphill battle. So do we just…give up? What’s the point, failure is inevitable.

I’m back here then, aren’t I? The weak earthling tendency of fear. The aversion to defeat. The phobia of the one thing that is virtually synonymous to progress. The reason I abandon almost every creative idea I start working on. The mere existence of the possibility that things may not work out the way you wanted them to. Somewhere in the fine difference between settling for mediocrity and being okay with it, you’ll find a roughed up little nightclub called “Just Not Giving a Fuck”, where the lights are always off and you can’t even see what you’re stepping on. The joint where you order a drink and have no way of knowing what the bartender will serve you.

Believe it or not, half the world was made here. Of course, the bouncers outside will have to deal with all the girls lining up for me, but I intend to be a regular customer. I just have to find this place, because life isn’t going to offer me the luxury of a spiritual version of Google Maps.

Look at that, I just stepped on Mark Zuckerburg’s Harvard underwear.

[r-gii]

The Egg Laying of Mrs. Easter Bunny - Chapter 3

Buttercup just stared at Bambii in shock, unable to process the words he had just said.

"Before you marry me, you should know..." Bambii continued hesitantly, "The Mrs. Easter Bunny... it's up to her to lay all the eggs for Easter."

Another silence.

And then Buttercup started squealing. She just stood there and let it all out, jittering all over with the pure amazement of it all.

Bambii was watching her with wide eyes, and Buttercup realized he must be thinking she was horrified. She was totally NOT horrified, she had to let him know.

"YES!" She cried out, "I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I'd love to be Mrs. Easter Bunny! I LOVE it! Being with you AND laying all the eggs in the Universe? Oh my goodness, I can't believe this is really happening! Can this be true!? YES!"

Bambii just looked at her taken aback. "You mean, you actually want...?"

"I mean no, yes, this is perfect! So you're really saying I get to lay all the Easter Eggs, for millions and millions of children, every single year?"

Bambii nodded uncertainly.

Buttercup started chortling to herself, "Oh my goodness, that's gotta hurt so bad! This is so perfect. I am gonna hate this so much! And by that I mean this is the most hilarious thing in my life!"

Bambii just stared at her, "You're actually looking forward to this?"

"I've spent my whole life watching chickens lay eggs just wondering what it's like to be in that kind of situation. I always hoped I would have bunnies someday, but I never dared to hope to think that I may actually have a chance to lay actual real live eggs myself (Bunnies are sort of sad that way). But now you're saying that if I become the Mrs. Easter Bunny, I will do it every single year, millions and millions of unbelievably painful eggs?" Buttercup gasped through all her words. "Of course I'm in!" She looked at them, eyes glowing, "It's like destiny!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny and Bambii exchanged glances. This was definitely not the expected response.

Mrs. Easter Bunny stepped forward, "I'm going to warn you not to step into this role lightly, this is not an easy task," Mrs. Easter Bunny warned, "you're going to regret your life. I was born into this job, the past Mr. Easter Bunny was actually was a normal Bunny until he married me, I've been doing this my whole life, and most the time I still don't feel like I'm ready for it."

Buttercup's face just glowed. "Is it weird that that makes me want to do it more?"

"Some," Bambii admitted. "You're a masochist, aren't you?"

Buttercup giggled to herself, "I think..."

Bambii blinked. "Okay then."

Mrs. Easter Bunny looked at her seriously. "I don't think you know what you're in for, this is pain, real excruciating pain, non-stop until all the eggs are laid. Rabbit's bodies aren't meant to give birth to something as big as eggs, and there are millions of them."

"I know!" Buttercup marveled, "Imagine me screaming for my dear Soul, unable to stop it."

Mrs. Easter Bunny just looked unfazed, "You don't even really know what pain is, do you?"

"Oh I know pain alright," Buttercup said, "Got this really painful blister on my foot the other... day, just the thought of putting too much pressure on it..." She shivered, "I can't even. I'm guessing egg laying is much, much worse. No amount of reflexes can pull you away. Oh the intensity of it, IT'S JUST GOTTA BE SO EPIC!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny just rolled her eyes. "Well, about that blister, I'm sure you've both had a very long night. If we're really going to do this, I advised you all get rested up. I'll show you to your room, uh..."

"Buttercup."

"Buttercup. But I must again warn you, once you settle down for this marriage, there'll no going back. Not that I'll be missing out on anything, I'm done with my work for this year, and if you take my place, I'll never have to see another egg again. But again, I know what I'm talking about here."

"Of course. Must be pretty bad with how you keep talking about it. And that's what makes it so great, unlike putting weight on the blister, you can't back out of an egg once it starts, all you can do is let it overtake you and scream through the flow!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny shook her head, "You are one strange little rabbit."

"I know, I love it!"

With that, Mrs. Easter Bunny led the way toward the Bedrooms. Buttercup turned back to give Bambii a last fluttering look before following after his mother.

Bambii realized they had got so caught up in their conversation, Mrs. Easter Bunny had totally forgotten their invitation to meal. Oh well, he was tired from his night's travels, he'd just as well grab a quick snack from the fridge before hitting the bed.

Buttercup's room was cheery with bright blue wallpaper and pinky-like trimmings, very Eastery and such. Her bed was kind of eggy-shaped, with the softest looking mattress of all time. Buttercup had never seen such coziness in her life.

"This is my room!" She gasped. "I love the Eastery colors!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny nodded, "I still don't think you know what you're getting yourself into, but even though the work is hard, this place is home. If you choose to stay here, we'll see to it that your off-time is worth your while. Now get some rest, I'm sure you're tired and even a masochist can enjoy a little relaxation time every once in awhile."

"You bet!" Buttercup exclaimed, leaping into the cozy bed, absorbing its warmth and softness. Mrs. Easter Bunny rolled her eyes and turned to leave. Back at the door, she paused and turned to look at Buttercup.

"I'm a little worried about leaving you in here by yourself?"

"Of course I'll be fine," Buttercup exclaimed, "I'm only really into incidental pain really, pain that happens because that's the way things are. It's not very funny when it's intentionally inflicted. When it just happens, it's like an inevitable joke to my hilarious body."

Mrs. Easter Bunny sighed, "Well then, just keep yourself safe, okay."

And with that, she left Buttercup the room to her own.

As Buttercup laid in her bed, curling bunnily under the snuggy blankets, she embraced the coziness never before.

Someday, her little body would be under the poor clutches of pure agony, but right now, she had never felt such comfiness. And somehow, they both seemed so perfect, she couldn't even.

The next day, Bambii and Mrs. Easter Bunny gave Buttercup a tour of the factory.

"So, what's all this business about me laying the eggs?" Buttercup questioned the first chance she got, excited for any more info she could get.

"You see," Mrs. Easter Bunny replied, "The missus lays all the eggs for Easter morning while the mister gathers and sorts them out. From Passover to Good Friday this continues non-stop, then on Easter Eve, both Easter Bunny's go out to hide the eggs for children all over the world, if the Missus is so up for the task after all that work that is."

"Non-stop! Won't I need to eat and drink?" Buttercup's eyes went wide, "I imagine it's pretty easy to regurgitate all your food when feeling contractions, won't I starve if I can't get anything down?"

Mrs. Easter Bunny nodded, "For some unknown reason, while laying, the need to eat and drink is mysteriously eliminated. Don't ask me, there's no explanation, it just is."

"What about sleep? Laying all those eggs, I'm sure to get tired."

"It's exhausting yes, but you won't get tired, as in when you do a lot of exercise, your body may want to stop and rest, but you'll feel wide awake the whole time, you won't necessarily feel an immediate need to sleep."

"What about the Bambii, won't he feel tired from all his work?"

"Unfortunately, yes, he won't have magical eggs inside him to continually renourish his body, so he'll still need to rest."

"So while I'm morbidly tortured by my own body 24/7, my sweetheart is going to be off napping in some cozy sleep somewhere?"

"Well, not 24/7, you do get Sundays off." Mrs. Easter Bunny explained, "Look at it as your Lenten Fasting if you observe such things. If not, yeah, it is kind of just meaningless torture."

Bambii looked away a little guiltily, "I'll still be available any time you need me, just call."

There was a moment's silence.

Then Bambii couldn't hold it back anymore. "I'm sorry. We don't make the rules for this place, they just happen. There is no shame in backing out-"

"Are you kidding?" Buttercup exclaimed, "I have never felt so amused over my existence in my entire life. The fact that such weirdness is about to become my life, this place is perfect for me!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny shook her head, once again flabbergasted by this girl's persona. Well, she'd tried. Bambii just stared at Buttercup. He'd never understand this girl. But she was cute this way though.

"So..." Buttercup said, "If I'm to lay all the eggs, then what's the point of all this big factory?"

Bambii looked at her, "Fortunately, there is more to Easter than just eggs," he explained, "Many families have many different traditions, and many families have grown to enjoy candies and goody baskets as well. Here at the Easter Bunny factory, we make the finest candy in the world." As he said this, he led her into a giant room with the most impressive candy making machinery she had ever seen. Blue, and red, and other birds fluttered here and there working on the chocolate and taffy machines and stuff making sure work got done.

"I thought you said I laid all the eggs." Buttercup said.

"Oh no," said Bambii, "These birds just work the machines, they don't actually lay any eggs, well except when they do," (Birds were weird that way) "but not the Easter Eggs or anything, they just work on the candy and goody baskets."

But Buttercup just scowled, fazed by the setup, but completely unfazed, "So plastic eggs basically."

"Oh no," Mrs. Easter Bunny assured her, "Those are laid by the Missus too. Just the goodies we put in the goody baskets come from here. Anything that comes in an egg, that comes from you. Even the plastic eggs." Buttercup's eyes went wide, "Again, don't ask me how it works, it has no logic."

"You could have told me that earlier! That's awesome! And here I was denouncing them and all things plastic, when they are just as wonderful as anything else in this place! Those like hinges on the sides, those are pretty uncomfortable laying them, aren't they?"

"You have no idea," Mrs. Easter Bunny sighed.

"Perfect," Buttercup awed. But then she turned back to the subject. "So I'm gonna assume we don't poo chocolate covered raisins or anything though, right? Yeah, that'd probably be too much. Egg Laying is just enough, more funny anyway. Only girls do it. Poo is too Universal, kinda boring."

Mrs. Easter Bunny looked at Bambii, "This is the type of girl you go for?"

Bambii just shrugged.

Buttercup looked at her Mr. Easter Bunny, at the wonderful world around them. This is the world Bambii had invited her into, this is the world he wanted to share with her, Bambii so cute and fun. She completely loved him for this.

Bambii stood on the stage at the end of the aisle.

They had spent the last few months getting stuff together, dating, making sure this was the absolute perfect fit (it was). Buttercup obviously loved that she'd actually be an epic Egg Layer, but she also really liked Bambii, and he really liked her. They NEEDED to get married, they were so just CUTE together! They just made eachother so happy just by looking at eachother, and joking, and just having fun. Ship #1!

And now it was FINALLY time for their wedding.

As Buttercup made her way up the aisle in her flowing Blue and Pink Build-a-Bear-Stuffy Wedding Dress, she looked up at Bambii in his fancy black suit with white undershirt (which was kind of weird honestly as that pretty much matched his fur color anyway). But he was so cute and abortable in that fancy little bunny suit, she just couldn't help but giggle to herself.

Once she was on stage, and Pastor Blue Bird, Blue Jr. read the vows, Buttercup looked at her future huzzy-wuzzy, oh how she loved him so much.

"Bambii, do you take this bunny to be your beloved wedded wife?" Blue Jr. asked.

"I do," Bambii said.

"And Buttercup," Blue Jr. continued, "Are you willing to take your place in the Easter Bunny family and take Bambii to be your beloved wedded husband."

Buttercup just looked at Bambii, the grin on her face growing. "I do!"

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife." Blue Jr. said.

At that, Buttercup let out a squeal and threw herself at Bambii. "I love you! I love you! I LUV YOU!" she screamed, smothering him with cuddles.

Blue Jr. just sighed. "I didn't even say 'you can now kiss the bride' yet," he mumbled to himself, unheard over the excitement. So, sighing to himself, he just gathered his things and headed off the stage.

Finally, Bambii managed to gather himself, "Okay, okay. Where did you want to go for our honeymoon? I know we already traveled pretty far together last Easter, so..."

Buttercup finally let herself take a step back, "Actually, I joined you pretty late on your trip around the world, we can still go pretty much anywhere." She paused, "How about EASTER ISLAND."

Bambii looked at her.

Buttercup giggled, "I'm joking. You probably thought 'Not again' 'we always go there on vacations and honeymoons and stuff'. Here, I got it better. Howabout..." Buttercup stopped. She actually couldn't think of any cities with Egg Laying references in their names to be honest.

"No, Easter Island's fine." Bambii said finally, "Us Easter Bunny's actually have a pretty good traditional Honeymoon spot there. Just wanted to check with you first."

"Okay," Buttercup said, "Easter Island it is."

So that is how the new Mrs. Easter Bunny came to be part of the Easter Bunny family. She knew that pretty soon she'd get her chance to lay super epic eggs for the children of the world, but right now she was on her way to her honeymoon with her super huggy-wuggy huzzy-wuzzy, and how she loved him so right now.

She'd just have to hold off on having bunnies with him for the moment, she didn't want to spoil the moment when she actually laid her first eggs. Didn't want to be having babies left and right like any other rabbit until she experienced the epicness of Egg Laying first, that was for sure.

But with that in mind, Bambii at her side, there was sure still going to be plenty of cuddling on this honeymoon, you could count on that.

[isotherealone]

Changing the Angles

Personal story to my life perspective and the things I told myself to change it.

Stuck in one place. Time to start moving.

Have you ever felt stuck in one place?

I never really knew what I wanted to do so I have tried several different creative things: starting from singing, playing instruments, streaming videogames, belly dancing and later on pole dancing. And then everything stopped... Life got busy, work got harder; and I entered an 8 year long boring home-study-work routine.

The reason I started modeling was simple: Sometime in the middle of 2020 I went through a mindset changing experience; I wanted to change the routine in which I felt like I was trapped in - Wake up, eat poorly, go to work for someone you don't like, try to regain the passion for my career studies, come back home, eat poorly again, go to sleep, repeat the process. Every. Single. Day. I felt ugly, tired and bored.

Something had to change; my creative spirit wasn't being properly engaged. I think had depression... What had happened to my young, energetic, full of enthusiasm, intelligent bewitching self from 8 years ago? I didn't really like myself right there and then... But what if I had started looking at myself in a different way again?

Maybe I was not looking from the right angles.

How does one come back to the feeling of "I can do whatever I set my mind to"? For me; the first step was daring myself to try out new things I thought would lift up my self-esteem.

The way I wanted to see myself was more the type of a woman who would be sure and confident on herself, her qualities and charisma. I wanted to regain the courage to try new things and continue doing the things I like, whether it was modeling, streaming, pole dancing or writing articles: I had to try it all; because figuring out what my life purpose was, was essential to defeating my depression.

Just eating healthier was not going to cut it.

Some time after a break-up, moving to another apartment and quitting my job the perfect time to start anew had arrived: I started drinking more water, eating healthier food, going out for walks and then, while hanging out at a friend's place the motivation suddenly hit me: I renamed my secondary Instagram account (the one with no family members), and posted the very first self-made but very aesthetically pleasing boudoir and BDSM photos I could produce on my friends terrace and an IPhone X. I have to say these were not bad.

https:/www.instagram.com/isoyich/

(This is of course not the very first Instagram account I own nor the last one. Over the course of the year I too have learned about the censorship + do's and don'ts of Instagram's posting policies.)

With these rebranding, other changes in the relationships I had with former acquaintances had to take place; people who didn't share my interest in this kind of photography left my networking circle, leaving space for new people who either partake in content creation or enjoy the type of content I started creating.

Encourage yourself to take steps outside of your comfort zone if you feel like what you want to do is genuinely good for your well-being, even if that means that some people will not support you/will disagree with you.

Making such an Instagram account was one of the wildest things I had done in my life, and I was able to meet artists from all around the world just by taking the first step; but it was not the end of it: With the help of my SO, I started searching for platforms where I could find local photographer-model communities where I could set up my profile and connect with other photographers who would do TFP-Shootings (Trade For Prints).

About accepting help from others while working towards your goals:

Remind yourself that asking for help and accepting it is not only necessary for thriving, it is also OKAY! Other people can offer different perspectives and additional information that can be useful to the realization of your goals.

The networking site is full of photographers looking to work on several different artistic projects, and I was already on my way walking through the journey that would eventually teach me to believe in, encourage and cherish myself through photography.

What now?

I had all these requests for TFP-Shootings, and ZERO experience to go with it; but that's exactly what I was looking for: To force myself out of my comfort-zone.

Make the time to recreate yourself and see what you are capable of. Challenge yourself, be consistent.

"Where you want to go, what you want to do, where you want to succeed, what you'd like to be in order to achieve a fulfilling life. Set your goals, inform yourself about them and plan in small steps to achieving each and every one of them. Big goals require long-term commitment, consistency and a structured plan to ensure their realization."

Having these guidelines in the back of my head, I had the first, second, fifth, maybe even tenth shooting in the first year; at my own pace and taking care of my mental health.

All the amazing artistic photography projects I've participated in have helped me look back at these past few years and not only feel more confident, beautiful and fearless but also to reflect on what I have achieved and how I have progressed in the modeling industry.

Get out of the routine, change your angles, start doing fulfilling things.

Where this path is taking me, I don't know yet, but I welcome it with my arms and eyes open.

[the-void-and-the-mirror]

Fears and anxiety

I'm afraid of a lot, y'know?

I'm afraid of crowds, I'm afraid of saying the wrong things, I'm afraid of others, afraid of others' anger, afraid of so many things. And a lot of these fears are developed by traumas.

I imagine there are many like me, especially from my generation. I know a lot of us had the kinds of parents who stepped all over us when we tried to be ourselves growing up. It makes it hard to speak up when something's wrong.

Mine definitely centres around the fear of others' anger, though. I'm always afraid of what others are thinking of me, walking on eggshells so I don't cause someone to raise their voice at me, and flinching when I think they will. Even when they won't.

When someone raises their voice, even if it's not at me, I immediately want to hide, or I just dissociate. But more often than not, it triggers my flight response. I go someplace to hide. I've had to explain to my partner, that even though I believe he expresses his anger in a very healthy way (he never takes it out on me, he calmly talks to me when I'm at fault. Still, there are times when he'll raise his voice; yelling at the computer, getting frustrated at dropping things when trying to cook. I do it too), and he understands that I just cannot deal with anger well.

That's not to say I'll dismiss others when their anger is justified. I've left a flame burner on too many times after cooking, so it was reasonable when he was upset about it and told me it absolutely had to stop. It's dangerous. And I've fully agreed and accepted fault. But I still shake, worrying about raised voices and yelling, even though he never even raised his voice. It's because my parents would yell, no matter what I did, no matter what I tried to do right. I had abusive partners that would hold things over my head. And though I would like to be supportive when someone is angry, especially in a healthy way, I can't help but dissociate at best, and give trained empathy responses in a best-case scenario.

I never know how to deal with anger. It's something that eludes me to this day. And as I work my way around it, I realise more recently that it's probably become a genuine phobia, and to bring it up in therapy for sure.

A phobia, because I always try to avoid conflict. Because I immediately default to trying to please the person I've offended, and apologising way too many times, and bending over backwards to make up for it as much as I can. I'm afraid of being in the way in the grocery store, I make an effort to almost always move out of peoples' ways. I don't like talking to my mum, because I'm afraid it's always going to be an argument. We never see eye-to-eye, and I'd rather cut her out of my life. But I'm afraid of the fight that would follow the second I cut her out. Even strangers, when I just do the slightest thing awkward for a single second, I end up terrified with a thousand thoughts in my head of how they must have thought of me.

Once in a while though, I remind myself to breathe. I remind myself I'm allowed to exist, I'm allowed to take up space, I'm allowed to do the little baby steps it takes to face something. I don't have to be perfect right away. And having someone to grow with that doesn't judge me helps immensely, too, if I dare myself to just reach out to him, to share with him my fears and pains.

And even with myself reminding me of these, it's only a little bit of kindness. Standing up for myself still takes every last ounce of energy I have, and sometimes even then, I can't will myself to. No amount of preparing or pep-talking can push my fears aside enough to do it, sometimes; a lot of the time. No amount of therapy I've had has fixed that. I've had to learn other ways to share what I'm feeling. I've learnt that writing messages for the other to read works very effectively, and I can write everything I mean. But I'll shake and cry while they read the message, terrified that it might be the relationship's end.

But when it doesn't happen, when there's understanding and mutual respect, I get just the littlest bit stronger. It tells me I can trust someone, even if it's only a little bit more. And next time, I can be a little more brave when I need to reach out. It's both the most terrifying thing I can do, and the most comforting relief when it passes. And if I can be a little more brave with one person, and have their support, I can be brave with another. And all I hope is to one day view myself as others view me, as a person worth loving and defending, and making a difference for.

The babysteps matter, every last one. I take a little bit of courage, posting my feelings here. And I hope you can find a little bit of courage in opening up to someone you trust. And if you have no one to share with yet, or aren't ready to take that step, I hope you give yourself a little bit of understanding. You don't have to make that jump today. It's okay to wait until you're ready. And when you do, I hope you find a world of support.

[moonlit-reveriee]

Baby Blue

technoblade x fem!reader

concept: techno is scared of ‘corrupting’ the reader, but the reader’s kinda into it...

content warning // NSFW, virgin!reader, very minor angst?, small argument that gets resolved

listen to this while you read: BBBlue (Single) by Olivver the Kid

(this fic was heavily inspired by the lyrics of this song, so i highly recommended giving it a listen!)

───※ ·❆· ※───

When Techno found out you were a virgin, he was terrified. Not necessarily of the thought itself, but of the implications.

He’d never forget the look on your face when you told him. You tried to be casual about it, but he knew you well enough to spot the dusting of pink across your cheeks. You nuzzled yourself closer into his side. Whether out of embarrassment or something else entirely, he couldn’t tell. All he could feel was his heart dropping as the voices chanted at him to “ruin her”

Of course you, his pure sweet angel, would be a virgin. He once again crumbled under the idea that you had chosen him. How on earth could a person like you even think of being with a beast like him. Yet alone, giving up your virginity to him.

He hated how horribly turned on he was by the thought of taking it.

The voices had been relentless about it ever since. They were hyper focused on your every move, twisting every thought of his into something promiscuous. When you rolled out of bed in the morning and stretched, a small sigh escaping your lips, it was endless cries of “make her do that again” “you should fuck those moans out of her” “make her scream”

While making breakfast together in the morning, they wouldn’t stop telling him to “bend her over the counter” “take it right here”

Even at times where he was alone, the voices preoccupied him with endless thoughts of you. He was fairly certain they had forced him to imagine every possible way in which he could have you. “imagine fucking her against the wall” “you can be gentle for the first time y’know” “she’d feel so good writhing underneath us” “press her face into the mattress instead” “make her get on her knees and suck you off” “she’ll be such a pretty little slut for us”

He tried to take care of himself as often as he could, but it was becoming impossible to keep up with. There were only so many times a day he could jerk himself off alone behind locked doors. He was desperate, and sexually frustrated to say the least.

He felt disgusting for it.

After a week of this torment, he could barely even look at you yet alone touch you without the voices and his own guilt pounding against his skull. You couldn’t even think about broaching the subject again, because he was avoiding physical contact like the plague. He wouldn’t come to bed until he knew you were asleep, and would leave long before you woke.

As much as he tried to hide it, you could tell he was tired. Something was wrong, but you knew that he’d never just tell you about his problems unprompted. Techno was insufferably stubborn in that way. After several days of avoiding your gaze and leaning away from your touch, you chose to confront him.

“Techno”, you called for his attention quietly, trying to sound stern while remaining gentle with him. He didn’t turn to fully face you, but he glanced at the spot on the wall just above your head.

You struggled to find the words you wanted to say, so you settled on telling him, “Techno, you look tired.”

He turned his attention away from you. “Just a lot of work around the house this week. I’ll be fine after I rest.”

“Then come to bed with me.” You saw the way his body tensed and tilted away from you at that simple suggestion.

“I just need to write a couple letters first. You can go ahead of me.”

“Techno...”, you whined, daring to take a step closer to him. He gave you an almost panicked look, “why does it feel like you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you”, he responded quickly, trying to look through you instead of at you.

“Yes you have”, you responded firmly. A flash of guilt washed over his face at your tone. “You haven’t kissed or touched me for nearly a week now. I don’t even know for sure if you sleep in the same bed as me anymore. Fuck, you barely even talk to me.”

Angry tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you wanted to hold them in. Techno felt his chest tighten at the sight of it. He instinctively turned and reached out to comfort you, but forced himself to freeze.

“There”, you said, gesturing towards him, “just like that. You’re stopping yourself. Why are you doing that?”

He repeatedly opened and closed his fists at his side, wanting to have any conversation other than this one.

“[y/n], there’s just a lot going on in my mind right now”, he said. It wasn’t a complete lie. “I just need to work though it.”

“Then let me help you.”

“No”, he responded a little too quickly, “I- I mean, I just don’t want to talk about it with you yet...”

“Why not?”, you retorted, trying to squeeze any information you could out of him.

“I just don’t, okay? It’s uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“... is this about me being a virgin?”

“I never said that”, he replied, but the tension in his shoulders was enough to tip you off.

“Ah geez Technoblade, if it was that much of a problem for ya, you should have just told me”, you said sarcastically, “instead of avoiding all physical contact for a like week straight!”

“It’s not a problem, [y/n].”

“Certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

Techno huffed in frustration, grabbing a fistful of his hair at the root. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset with himself, or the fact that a few of the voices were still begging him to “please fuck her already”

“Love, I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t want it. They”, he tapped a finger against the side of his skull, “they want it so badly. It’s driving me insane.”

He breathed in and out shakily, trying to gauge your expression in the brief moments before he continued.

“I’m a monster. I’ve spilt more blood than anyone every should in a single lifetime. My appearance is more beast than man.”

He looked up briefly to find you staring right at him, a tight-lipped frown upon your face.

“What does that have to do with any of this?”

“I- ... I don’t want to corrupt your innocence”, he admitted.

“What on earth do you mean by that?”

“[y/n], you’re so perfect”, he answered almost breathlessly, “you’re so kind and so pure. Just living with me does enough to taint your reputation, I don’t wanna-“

He cut himself off to swallow thickly. He almost seemed scared of the words he was going to say next.

“I don’t want to ruin this part of you either...”

A heavy silence filled the tiny sitting room of techno’s cottage. In those few seconds, your eyes widened ever so slightly as his words suddenly clicked in your mind. This hulking boar of a man, an undisputed war criminal, was scared. He was scared of damaging you, your reputation, or your recently revealed ‘innocence’. Compared to himself, he saw you as a pure being who could be tainted by unwholesome thoughts.

If what he said about the voices was true, then his actions of the past few days would’ve made sense for him.

“Oh techno...”, you muttered softly, tentatively placing a hand on his jaw. His posture was curled inward, making him look small despite his size. He was stiff at first, but allowed you to lift his gaze to meet yours. He searched your eyes desperately for an indication of your reaction. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

A small wave of confusion washed over his face, but he nodded anyways. “It was at the festival...”

“That’s right”, you said, moving the hand on his face down to rest over his shoulder, “and do you remember what I did that day?”

“You threw an axe into Schlatt’s shoulder”, he answered, watching as the scene played out in his memory.

You lived with Niki in her bakery at the time, and witnessed firsthand the injustice she faced during Schlatt’s presidency. As the chaos after Tubbo’s execution occurred, you took the opportunity to hurl your axe where Schlatt stood upon his podium. The blow wasn’t fatal, but that wasn’t necessarily your goal. You just wanted to see the man in pain.

“It was a lucky shot really”, you admitted, “I wasn’t even aiming properly.” That managed to draw a small smile onto Techno’s lips.

“And do you remember”, you continued, “when I tried to confront the Butcher Army by myself?”

He grimaced at the thought. You had told him you just needed to make a quick trip to L’manburg for some supplies, leaving him at home alone to recover from the previous day’s events. You returned that evening with a sprained wrist and a couple large bruises forming on your body. None of them were trying to kill you, but you took a pretty good beating from Quackity just for trying to confront them.

“Why are you bringing all of this up now?”, he asked.

“Because”, you said, “this is the evidence that will support my next point.”

He looked bewildered by that statement, but continued to listen.

“I’m not a perfect person”, you resumed, “I have blood on my hands just like you do. I know it’s hard to compare to you, but I’m not devoid of my own sins. I can be mean, I’ve hurt people. I’m not a pure, angelic being who would quiver at a single inappropriate thought. I think you forget that sometimes.”

He let your words swirl around in his head; he couldn’t deny the logic in them. The evidence prevented him from denying the truth of your statement. He could almost be mad that you’d talked him into a corner, but he was more overjoyed at the fact that you knew him well enough to do so.

“And you know...”, you spoke quietly, letting your hand fall down to rest on his chest, “if you did somehow ‘corrupt my innocence’ as you say... I really wouldn’t mind that.”

Techno’s breath hitched in his throat. There were a brief few moments, maybe minutes, where he just stared at you. Then his lips were on yours; sudden and clumsy, but passionate. You gripped the fabric of his shirt as he grabbed at your waist, desperate to have you in his arms again.

“I’m sorry, I had to”, he muttered, his lips left hovering a hair’s breadth away from yours.

“You’re so silly sometimes”, you sighed affectionately, rubbing small circles into his collarbone. He gave you a gentle smirk before pressing another kiss into your lips.

“I’m sorry darling, I really am”, he said as he drew you into a tight hug. He took in your scent and the feel of your skin for the first time in days. It felt like he could survive off the feeling of your arms wrapped around his body alone. He wondered why he ever let himself be depraved of this.

“You know I trust you, right?”, you spoke with your face pressed into his chest.

“I’m not sure why, but yes.”

You decided not to reprimand him for saying that. You could help him unpack all that later. Instead, you brought your head up to whisper in his ear.

“You have my full and unconditional consent to take my virginity whenever you’re ready.”

Techno inhaled and held his breath, though for what, he wasn’t sure. It took a while for the full weight of those words to sink in. He leaned back to stare at your face, bringing one of his large and shaky hands up to cup your cheek.

“Are you sure?”, his eyes were wide with trepidation, practically pleading with you to tell him the truth. You leaned into his palm, indulging in the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I want you, techno. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

Techno was lost in your words. The sudden absence of guilt left his heart light and airy in his chest. For the first time in days, the voices were only a gentle murmur.

“she’s so beautiful” “she wants you” “make her feel good” “show her how special she is” “make her smile” “she’ll be so pretty” “she’s always pretty” “be gentle, no need to rush”

“make love to her”

“... I think I’m ready now.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

ayyyy guess who finally finished writing something!!!

parts of this feel a little rushed but ehhhhhh i was just excited to finally post it. i looove writing techno as an extremely self-conscious character who’s too caught up in their own head to see how ridiculous they’re being. so, this was a treat for me to write

i hope you enjoyed :D

-moonlight

[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

[band--psycho]

Jax Teller x Reader-Stay

SOA Masterlist / Jax Teller Masterlist

For @evanstanwrites​ 2K writing challenge! Congrats again on hitting this huge milestone! 🥳 I hope you all enjoy this!

Prompt- I wish I could stop loving you 

Jax Teller. Where do I even begin? I hated him but I loved him, he drove me round the fucking bend but I’d do absolutely anything for him. For so many years we kept on going back and forth with each other, neither of us could ever fully commit to each other but neither of us could ever let the other go and believe me, I tried. I tried everything. I tried moving away, seeing other guys...I even just tried to embrace the single life but nothing I did could shake the thought of Jax Teller. His touch, his lips, his voice...his love...everything about him was just perfect. But he was a criminal...I hated what he did and I hated what I’d do to keep him from going back to jail. It was like I was his Old Lady but without the title and that just made me feel like every other woman he’d been with. But I couldn’t do it anymore; I couldn’t stay here, not this time. Not like this. I’d barely even seen Jax in the last few weeks, and when I had seen him all we did was argue. I was just drained from it all. I knew I needed to get as far away from Charming and Jax as physically possible. I couldn’t deal with all the ‘what ifs’ that ran through my head every single time I saw him. I just needed a clean break.

I was packing my bag when I heard the door slam shut. A string of curse words fell from my lips, knowing that the only person who could get into my house, was the one person I didn’t want to see. His figure sent a shadow into the dimly lit room, I couldn’t look up at him, I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t stick to what I’d planned. If I looked into those beautiful blue eyes, I’d stay.

“Goin’ somewhere?” He asked, his voice low as I heard his footsteps get closer to me, I just kept my eyes focused on packing the last few items that were on the table next to me.

“Don’t start Jax,” I replied abruptly, feeling my hands begin to shake slightly as I tried to keep myself from falling apart.

“Did you really think you could just leave? Without saying a single fuckin’ word?” Heasked, the rage building in his voice. I wanted to answer him. I wanted to shout at him and tell him how goddamn hard this was for me. I didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t keep doing this, I couldn’t keep giving my love to someone who didn’t feel the same. It was going to drive me insane and I would be miserable, craving for a love that could never be.

“Don’t you dare-”I said, though my voice was my quiet it was clearly loud enough for Jax to hear it.

“Oh I fuckin’ dare, darlin!” He snapped back. I just sighed, zipping my bag up and making my way to the door. I’d barely even opened the door before I saw Jaxs’ hand slam the door shut in front of me. I kept my eyes fixed on the door infront of me, my hand gripped firmly around the handle as I attempted to open it but to no avail.

“Jax-“ I sighed in frustration, my knuckles turning white as I tried to open the door.

“You can’t leave again,” His voice was softer this time, but I could tell the rage was still simmering away in him.

Who did he think he was? I thought to myself, feeling my own anger rising. He had no right to tell me what to do and after everything that had happened lately, it was probably for the best that I was leaving.

“I can do what I want, Jax, now move out of my fucking way,” I said lowly, the anger that I was feeling lacing my voice. I closed my eyes briefly, attempting to calm myself down, when I opened my eyes I saw Jaxs’ was no longer on the door. I was surprised and part of me was relieved that it was all over now, I could leave and we could both move on with our lives. But as I opened the door, I felt my heart begin to break slightly. This was the man I’d spent years loving and protecting and now, here I was, leaving.

“I love you” He muttered, just as I stepped out of the door. His words made me freeze in an instant. At first I wasn’t sure if it was my mind playing tricks on me, tricking me into thinking that he’d said the words I’d longed for him to say. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him, his hand moving to my chin, tilting my face up to meet his gorgeous eyes which were now brimming with tears. It wasn’t often I saw Jax cry and seeing him like this broke my heart.

“I love you..” He repeated again, and when I looked into his eyes, all I saw was truth. I tried to say something but it was like every thought I ever had just vanished from my head.

He loved me...and as much as part of me hated that, it changed everything.

“I wish I could stop loving you, I’ve tried to but I just can’t...,” I heard his voice break slightly as the words fell from his lips, the whites of his eyes growing more and more bloodshot as he tried desperately to hold back the tears. I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him...but my body was still frozen in shock.

“I can’t lose you..not again, darlin’, please tell me what I can do to fix this, tell me what I can do to make you stay,” I saw a single tear fall from his left eye and roll down his cheek as he pleaded with me to stay. Tentatively I raised my hand to his face, caressing his cheek as my thumb wiped the stray tear away.

“You’ve already done it,” I soothed. A small sigh of relief left his lips before I felt his hand cover mine, squeezing it tightly for a few seconds as he placed a delicate kiss on the palm of my hand.

“I love you, Jackson Teller,” I cooed, standing on the tips of toes, my lips ghosting over his.

“I always have and I always will,”I breathed before placing a reassuring kiss on his lips, which he quickly reciprocated too. I felt like I was on cloud nine as our lips moved in sync against one another’s. As bizarre as it sounds, this kiss felt different to any of the others we’d shared. Maybe it wasn’t the kiss that was different, maybe it was us. Knowing how we both felt about each other just changed everything

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[danny-chase]

Alfred’s role in things people get upset about gets overlooked so much, both in canon and in fandom/fics, it drives me nuts. He’s great! I love Alfred! But if you overlook every single decision a character makes that you don’t agree with, at the end of the day that’s not the actual character, right?

Yeah pretty much. I mean like I get it, you want a sweet grandpa character and you don't want to include their bad sides. But if you don't include something that Alfred did, you should probably look at a characters response to what he did, and update that response based on the change. Because otherwise things just don't make sense and make characters look bad. And I'm not blaming anyone for not knowing that Alfred was the one to "take Robin away from Tim and give it to Damian" it's genuinely a short moment that i missed the first couple of times.

I feel like I saw it the most with the whole "Hey guys, if we're going to keep calling Bruce a shitty bad dad, maybe we should also hold Alfred responsible for the canon way he stood by and enabled abuse!" (Robin: Year One as an example) And the response to that being like "how dare you slander Alfred" "wdym he's perfect" "why would anyone say such horrible things 💔". I think fandom (including myself) just really have a blindspot for him, especially because there's no slam dunk panels floating around to remind us that he's not a saint, mostly because he's an enabler. Alfred stands back, and let's other people dish it out - and that's not always a good thing or good decision. And when he does step in, we almost don't see it because we're so used to him staying out of the spotlight/drama. I like him too, but I think we should start holding him more accountable for at least the role he plays in decisions we get angry over, because, would we be angry if we had all the information? And would who we get angry at shift? And i agree, you can overlook maybe a single run, or single decision you don't like, but when it becomes a pattern, that's part of the character imo.