#me ?? doing both instead? wow

[mamawasatesttube]

timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done

[coquelicoq]

part of the process of learning to take responsibility for your actions is learning what things you can't take responsibility for. not just to protect you (e.g., from your own feelings of guilt; from people taking advantage of your willingness to take responsibility by attributing blame to you unfairly), but because to take responsibility is not just to say "it was my fault and i'm sorry" but to actually do things (to make amends and to mitigate and prevent future harm), and if you don't understand what to take responsibility for, you aren't going to understand how to take responsibility.

there is a lot that's outside of your control. people put a lot of emphasis on forgiveness in a way that i think is missing the point. being forgiven is not my priority. my priority is that i am doing what it is in my power to do. i can't control how that's received. i'd like it to be received well; i'm doing what i'm doing because i want to repair harm that i have caused to another person, so it matters to me if what i'm doing is actually achieving that goal or not. but there's only so much that i can do to achieve that goal, and if i'm doing it, and the harm is not repaired, that's okay. that's beyond my control. i have to make my peace with the fact that i've caused harm to another person that is not resolved, because i'm doing what i can and i have to continue living on this earth, and in continuing to live i'm going to be living with the fact of that unresolved harm. the most important thing at that point is for me to use my knowledge of the specific ways in which my actions harmed that person to change my behavior going forward to avoid causing that harm again, to the extent that that's within my power.

it doesn't do anyone - you or the people you have harmed - any good for you to assign responsibility to yourself for things that you can't control. if you're going to attempt the active work of repair and change you have to first identify what it's possible to repair and change. you can't actually repair a relationship all by yourself! you can only change your own behavior. you can only offer amends to the other person that they may or may not find sufficient. not to go all serenity prayer on you but guilt for the sake of guilt just makes you feel way more powerful than you actually are (because you think that everything happened because of you) and at the same time completely incapable of exercising your power (because you don't understand what your power actually is). to effect change you have to focus on the things you can actually change. focusing on the things you can't change is a problem not just because it's taking your focus away from the things you can change, but because it means you don't actually understand the sphere of your own influence. you're operating under what is essentially a self-centered worldview in which you could make everything better, you could prevent all harm, if only you were trying harder, if only you were a better person. who does that serve? it doesn't reflect reality. it makes you hate yourself and feel sorry for yourself at the same time, and it doesn't actually improve things for the people you harmed. it doesn't help keep you from harming people in the future, because you don't understand the territory and the limits of the causal relationship between your actions and other people's reactions to them.

you can only do what you can do. what you can't do, you can't do, and you can't take responsibility for doing, either in the past or present. after you realize that there is harm to repair the next step in the process of repair is to ask yourself what your responsibility is for the past and what your agency is going forward. everything else will follow from that. you simply cannot skip that step.

[james-is-nasqueer]

anyone else seeing some distasteful kurt busch dwi takes or is it just me

[isa-ah]

yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what

[andi-o-geyser]

not to interrupt my lotr queue but wtaf is going on with jjk. i feel like ive been given cursed knowledge. my friend convinced me to binge the whole thing and i finished 3 days ago. and now this. what the fuck.

[waitineedaname]

anyway. back to my regularly scheduled idiot posting. I got left alone with my thoughts too long earlier and started thinking about greed and how he's positioned between the other homunculi and humans. none of the other homunculi show off their ouroboros tattoos as much as he does. they don't particularly hide their tattoos (except when in disguise/not counting wrath) but greed LOVES showing off his tattoo, it's the first thing he does when introducing himself constantly. he's also the first one to proudly declare he's a homunculus, despite having distanced himself from the rest of the homunculi

at the same time, he immediately draws an association between himself and human beings. he describes himself as an artificially made human, which is the literal definition of what a homunculus is, and his willingness to explain how he's not that far from humans (his body structurally being the same as a human, describing himself as sturdier than most but not truly immortal) is what allows ed to figure out his weakness. meanwhile the other homunculi would literally rather die than position themselves as at all similar to humans. this is consistent with the fact that all the other homunculi, at best, look down on humanity, and at worst, feel intense contempt for humans, meanwhile greed seems to be amused by humans, if not outright fond of them

idk i just think it's interesting that the rest of the homunculi completely divorce themselves from humanity and position themselves as superior, but greed is the one to actually embrace the definition of homunculus as an artificial human

[bsaka7]

sorry the funniest thing about hockey is that they really make these guys play in. des moines. st paul. loser ass sports cities.

[jaythelay]

Man as a kid, I took modding for granted. Now I feel like I gotta step up and continue the passion.

I remember using the trainer for GTAIV, at the time, it was The Trainer since there seldom if any were alternatives. It has literally, every conceivable option you'd want, literally think of it, it has it.

Then GTAV came out and...wow. None of these trainers are remotely feature complete. It occurred to me then that, such expected things and standards, aren't guarantees in modding. That someone took their free time to make something for free with no payment, it's incredible.

Then I see that same mentality applied to Paid Products and I'm out of patience to explain the free market a 50th time and how we're the sole and only regulators, the literal half of the free market, yet we just give companies all the power regardless.

Anyways next time you're mad about some mod that's non-inherently bad, just remember, some people pay for that quality or worse, expect it. The modder wasn't trying to garner anything but adding onto people's experiences. The dev much the same, but the publisher, the CEO, considerthat they've effectively ensured you never own a single piece of media without piracy, ever again. We Lost That War because we Believed The Rich Would Be Decent. For 2 decades.

There's a reason Not to have the same mentality with modders, with purchased products. You're no longer 2 buddies playin' games and making stuff for it. You're a consumer enabling, normalizing, and supporting an industry/company who's entire goal and state of being is to lower our standards so much they can get away with worse later.

It's rich people. Not people like you and me. The employee is closer to you than the CEO, understand that, and learn to respect yourself enough not to allow them to swindle you, it is, quite literally, their main skillset and they never shut it off, you're larping to pretend anything otherwise and are doing so thinking you're protecting either friend or ego, but the fact is, you gave them that, and are scared what they'll do with it. Stop giving them trust and power over you, you're literally able to bankrupt them by not buying from them. We've seen it, time, and time, and time, and time again, when the community strikes back, We Win.

We just don't because too many people are unwilling to raise their standards, and instead, take time to defend the undefendable. Sorry but there's no way to defend a company with a streak of SA issues. Maybe consider where your money is going and how that's impacting everyone's jobs and purchases. Comes down to self-respect and demanding better.

Whilst your entire generation became Noticeably Very Poorer, the rich have amassed an absolutely unfeasible level of insane wealth, taking half our dwindling money during Covid. Why the fuck is the only thing improving the graphics? Why are we Crawling our way towards 5% of the 6th generation's standards? Why are we celebrating that? Games went down in price since cartridges, but did not change what so ever for online distribution. We are literally, paying, for the Manufacturing of Physical Copies, for Digital Copies, we Don't Even Own, that's how bad it's gotten, they literally got a free 10-20$ by moving to online.

So again, please, Please, understand I am closer to you politically than you are to any CEO or corporate logo. You are closer to your dog than you will ever be to 100k. You do not, and will never, be in this industry as the CEO's friend or company mascot, you are not that. You are a consumer, start acting like the other half of the free market and not a Pay Piggy Useful Idiot.

They even raised the prices. Good. God. We Are Losing.

[peachyist]

god dropping out of university was the best idea of my life

[astral-catastrophe]

I love the point in friend drama where the main culprit hasn’t apologized because they don’t see the issue and I’m left seething until some tipping point, culprit is now asking what they did wrong but oh no no no it’d be too easy to ask me, instead asking the friend I’m not mad with

[bright-and-burning]

.

[dippityart]

geekfest 2024

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 7

“Those Who Fight" by Nobuo Uematsu for Final Fantasy VII

[shinidamachu]

I also noticed in my reread of the manga that the anime made Kikyo seem more powerful. In the manga Inuyasha easily parried Kikyo’s attack when she was first resurrected and chose to throw aside the sword to reason with her, and even got ready to strike her down and cracked his knuckles in order to bring Kagome back. In the anime he was easily overwhelmed by Kikyo and was only saved by Kagome waking up. I’m seeing Sunrise’s bias 🙄

And there's nothing wrong with making Kikyo seem more powerful. Inuyasha was constantly getting upgrades for Tessaiga without us as much as batting an eye over it.

The difference is that we were there when he found and got Tessaiga. We were there to see him struggle to master it. We were there for each and every single breakthrough. We know the how and we know the why.

Kikyo's power-ups, on the other hand, seem to come out of thin air most of the time. I'm sure she must have worked for it, but it wasn't shown, so there's a bit of a disconect between her journey getting there and the audience, which makes her achievements turn out to be not as satisfying as they could have been.

It's like, we know what the stabilished powers of a pristess are and so we think we know what Kikyo's powers are limited to, but then she does something new that doesn't fit that criteria and our only explanation is that she was the most powerful priestess of her time. Which makes sense, but also tells us that it's not important how she came to be so powerful, only that she is.

So why should we care when she uses a new trick? It's probably something she has known how to do for a while, anyway. We weren't rooting for her to get it right. We weren't anticipating it. We just roll with it.

The problem is that, in order to make Kikyo seem more powerful, Sunrise often gave her scenes where Kagome was originally the one kicking ass and taking names. And that's what I have issues with. Take this scene for instance:

Kikyo is the kind of character who doesn't do anything without a reason, so why would she interfere? She doesn't really knows Koga. She has probably no idea of his connection to Inuyasha — and even if she had, I don't peg her for comeone who'd care, considering how she treated Kagome most of the time. Koga is a demon with two jewel shards. Why help him out instead of taking them from him herself or waiting Naraku's incarnation finish the job to sweep in and do it? Because in the manga, Kagome is the one who saves Koga:

Which makes infinitely more sense and proves that there was no actual reason behind this "creative" change other than making Kikyo look cooler. The entirety of Sunrise's adaptation is full of these little shenanigans. Do you want to see a practical example of how this affects the general perception of the audience regarding the characters?

Here's Kagome diligently destroying a Naraku puppet to save an unconscious Kikyo. She actively uses the bow and arrow she didn't know how to shoot in the beginning of her journey to save someone she judges to be her love rival. And she suceeds without overthinking it or breaking a sweat.

But Sunrise thought it would be better to just do this instead:

The result? People naturally praise Kikyo for being the biggest girl boss in Inuyasha for stuff that was originally done by Kagome:

Don't get me wrong, it's great that people will appreciate Kikyo — this was exactly what Sunrise was going for, anyway — but it rubs me the wrong way that it came with the price of Kagome getting constantly criticized for being a "damsel in distress" who never does anything.

When your adaptation changes the story so much that people wrongfully perceives your female lead as useless despite the many, many scenes you still animated of her saving the day — and specifically saving the life of her supposed rival, who they judge to be much stronger and independent than her — that's when you know you fucked up.

And the worst part is that people are either blissfully unaware of this irony — because they haven't read the manga — or straight up dishonest about it.

The funny thing is: Kikyo didn't need any of that. What Sunrise did was the equivalent of taking original scenes of her being kind or compassionate and giving it to Kagome instead. It wasn't necessary. Kikyo was stabilished as a powerful woman from her very first appearance:

Kagome was the one who needed to prove herself in battle because she was the 15 year modern girl who was tossed untrained in the middle of a feudal era "life or death" situation. She was the one I wanted to see exploring and using her spiritual powers, because that's what her character needed to grow.

What Kikyo needed was humanization, glimpses of the ordinary woman she has always wanted to be. Empowerment is important, but it's also multifaceted and it falls flat when it focuses on power for the sake of power.

I'd gladly exchange any of those changes for scenes of Kikyo coping with taking a human life or using women's souls to stay on the world of the living. Scenes of Kikyo realizing she has become the very thing she used to fight against and how seeking for revenge affected the people she loves.

Scenes of Kikyo regretting decisions she can't take back, scenes of Kikyo bonding with Kaede both before and after her death, scenes of Kikyo acknowledging the part she played on the way her relationship with Inuyasha ended and apologizing for the hell she put him through over it.

That's how you make her character relatable and empathetic. That's how you highlight her complexities and makes her interesting. Kikyo being pretty while shooting arrows is absolutely stunning on screen, but it does little to create a truly emotional attachment to her character, at least for me.

As for the particular scene you brought up, Inuyasha was, in fact, easily overwhelmed by Kikyo in the anime. When she first attacks him, he just... lets her.

While in the manga, Inuyasha is quick to dodge it.

He does try to defend himself in the anime. However, Kikyo's arrow manages to stop Tessaiga's transormation and almost hits his heart.

None of which happens in the anime, where Inuyasha not only defends himself but also actively pushes back.

Sure, Kikyo still succeeds in zapping the hell out of him, but only because Inuyasha threw Tessaiga aside to reason with her, like you pointed out. When that didn't work, he cracked his knuckles in order to strike her down, before realizing he couldn't do it and then Kagome comes in with the save. In the anime, he didn't even try.

And the hug I mentioned, when he's attempting to appease Kikyo and she cries on his arms for a moment? Completely erased in favor of making her push her elderly sister aside twice and hurting Inuyasha more than originally intended while also referring to him as "beast", "monster" and "half breed."

I understand why Sunrise wanted to give Kikyo more screen time – she's a key character and people seem to have a good time drawing and animating her – but they focused mostly on making her look "cool" by kicking up a notch on the whole "vengeful spirit" thing and ended up shooting themselves on the foot by going too far.

They really thought the nonsense added scenes, like Inuyasha watching her bath or telling the audience they were always by each other's side – while actually showing them sitting far apart, Inuyasha being left to chase after the carriage she was in instead of being there with her, etc – would make up for the hug they cut out in order to give Kikyo more "badass" moments.

That's because they realized the couple had no substancy whatsoever and to remedy that, prioritized telling us that they were together for at least a couple of seasons instead of making the effort to show us this so called deep love. The hug was meaningful and made sense. Inuyasha dramatically laying on the ground while mentally screaming her name after telling her she needed to return the last piece of Kagome's soul – which is how Sunrise decided to end the episode – did not.

Especially because in the manga, he checked on Kagome before...

And after he left to try and get the remaining piece of her soul back – knowing what it would mean to Kikyo.

Plus, while obviously sad about Kikyo's "death", he also seems to accept this was for the best and acts like he is pretty much ready to move on.

Not to mention how he panicked when Shippo brought up the possibility of Kagome not being Kagome anymore and how absolutely relieved he was when he realized it wasn't the case.

And if this wasn't enough, he spent a good three panels blushing over Kagome right after the whole ordeal.

Those scenes had two purposes. One was to solidify, once more, Kagome as her own person to the audience and to Inuyasha, as well as a love interest. He had the opportunity to get Kikyo back and still wanted her to return the soul – even if it meant Kikyo would cease to exist – because he didn't want to risk Kagome not waking up or not being herself anymore, since he was already falling in love with her. Kikyo herself guilt trips him about it when he tries to convince her.

The other was to contrast Inuyasha's first reaction to Kikyo's ressurection and the information that they were both set up with his reaction after he was told that Kikyo died for him and therefore he owes her his life. The former consists on him standing up for himself and rightfully seeing himself as a victim, the latter consists on him blaming himself out of proportion based on a blalant lie. That's why in the manga he takes her "second" death so well, while the others really take a toll on him. In the anime, however, it's like he is already blaming himself when she falls off that cliff.

I attribute this change of attitude to another scene Sunrise thought fit to delete:

Of course the anime also has Inuyasha denying Kikyo's accusations, but he is way less effusive about it in there. Originally, when he realizes they were fooled into thinking they betrayed each other, he acts like they were both at fault for distrusting each other and are, therefore, even. So when she "dies" there's nothing he can do but wish for her to rest in peace and move on despite how sad it makes him.

All of this really sucks, because as you can see, the changes they did in favor of Kikyo either didn't work on her favor at all or heavily impacted the characterization of others – Inuyasha and Kagome especially – in a negative way, in addition to creating huge inconsistencies plot and narrative wise.

TLDR: yes, Sunrise's bias is obvious. And ironically, I think if they had liked Kikyo less, she would have been a much better written character because they wouldn't be afraid to give her the development she needed.

[eigengrauone]

grinds teeth. i am alone and dismissed

[quietwingsinthesky]

Thinking about the two drabbles I did yesterday where Dean was a bit of an asshole, and I do hope that it doesn't come across in those, or in any fic, that I'm making Dean needlessly antagonistic just because I'm more of a Samgirl. Esp when it comes to him reacting to samifer.

It feels realistic to me, whether due to actual logical reasoning or due to his Various Assorted Issues™️, that Dean's obviously not going to accept his little brother having a relationship with the devil with open arms. You know, it's a combination of Dean's canonical Sam-Abandonment-Complex and also, it's Lucifer, on the heels of Ruby, and what's going to present outwardly as "Sam is making a bad choice and trusting the wrong person. Again. So I need to fight back against that," is really covering up the more self-loathing, "I couldn't protect Sam from Ruby, and if he gets hurt/used/etc again, it'll be my fault for letting it happen a second time."

In one drabble, that showed up as 'separate Sam from the reminder of his trauma that he's keeping for reasons I don't understand', which is! hey that's wrong of him to do! even if Sam is only being hurt by keeping it, what gives Dean the right to make that choice? But he is Dean, he is Sam's older brother, and he is going to make that choice to try and protect him, and I love him for that. Overprotective brother who's making choices without knowing the full story. That's the Supernatural way.

Just some of the behind-the-scenes that goes into writing, I suppose. tl;dr Dean is an asshole and I love him so much.