#dean siding against him. dean choosing for him. dean not being in his corner 100%
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Thinking about the two drabbles I did yesterday where Dean was a bit of an asshole, and I do hope that it doesn't come across in those, or in any fic, that I'm making Dean needlessly antagonistic just because I'm more of a Samgirl. Esp when it comes to him reacting to samifer.
It feels realistic to me, whether due to actual logical reasoning or due to his Various Assorted Issues��️, that Dean's obviously not going to accept his little brother having a relationship with the devil with open arms. You know, it's a combination of Dean's canonical Sam-Abandonment-Complex and also, it's Lucifer, on the heels of Ruby, and what's going to present outwardly as "Sam is making a bad choice and trusting the wrong person. Again. So I need to fight back against that," is really covering up the more self-loathing, "I couldn't protect Sam from Ruby, and if he gets hurt/used/etc again, it'll be my fault for letting it happen a second time."
In one drabble, that showed up as 'separate Sam from the reminder of his trauma that he's keeping for reasons I don't understand', which is! hey that's wrong of him to do! even if Sam is only being hurt by keeping it, what gives Dean the right to make that choice? But he is Dean, he is Sam's older brother, and he is going to make that choice to try and protect him, and I love him for that. Overprotective brother who's making choices without knowing the full story. That's the Supernatural way.
Just some of the behind-the-scenes that goes into writing, I suppose. tl;dr Dean is an asshole and I love him so much.
#he really is trying his best! his best is just. not perfect.#which it shouldn't be! he's dean! he has. All The Issues.#god if i wrote ducifer and turned this around and wrote antagonistic sam#actually that would probably be more full-on angst than mostly humor#god the betrayal there. because dean's thing is abandonment yeah but sam's is betrayal.#dean siding against him. dean choosing for him. dean not being in his corner 100%#like wow these idiots are both so codependent. good for them. bad for everyone else. but good for them.#i mean the obvious solution here is that lucifer just fucks everyone because he's a slut-#ooooooooooooo no see now im thinking about ducifer + sam reactions#depending on the time frame it just gets worse and worse#(i'm not reneging on my hc on sam not being tortured in hell for this angst btw. i wouldn't do that.#and dean wouldn't fuck someone who hurt sam like that so moot point.#but post-cage is a fascinating time for ducifer. because of how much sam & lucifer know each other.#for lucifer to go to dean instead? oh. painful. fascinating. but painful.#eventually could be resolved by sam realizing he's still so very important to luci because he always will be.#the boys disentangling the hierarchy of romance with the devil's help. good for them.#it's the same as sam & dean Both realizing that no matter what other relationships they have. they will always put each other first.#winchester brother chosen platonic life partners v important to me. if you can't tell.)#dean winchester#spn#sam winchester#lucifer spn#samifer#lucifer/sam winchester
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Heaven Sent - Part 4
Word Count: 2,002
Characters: Y/n, Castiel, Dean, Sam, Chuck, Arabella (OFC)
Warnings: Snark, Heaven-Induced Insanity, Language, Angst if you squint, Canon-Divergence
A/N: This is Part 4 of a mini-series I wrote for @ellen-reincarnated1967’s “Andi’s Back in the Game” challenge. Beta’d by @hannahindie and @wheresthekillswitch who also helped me to brainstorm and nail down exactly where I wanted to go. Thank you both so very much!
A/N 2: This takes place roughly midway through Season 4 and veers from canon. I actually used some lines of dialogue from the show for this, and have them bolded. All credit goes to the writers of the show.
A/N 3: I am posting this a day earlier than planned to celebrate hitting 800 followers! Thank you all so very much!
Tags are at the bottom - please send me an ASK if you would like to be added (or removed).
Need to Catch up? - Series Masterlist
Heaven Sent
I must be one. It is my job. I must perform the duties I was created for and assigned to accomplish - not out of obligation, but because that is who I am. I can save a dozen kids from unnecessary ER visits or even 100 young girls from being attacked, but if Lucifer rises and destroys the earth, none of it matters. As much as I hate to admit it, Dean was right. But mark my words, I would rather die than let him hear me admit that. Those two idiots are the key to stopping the apocalypse and I have no idea where they are, but I have an idea of who might.
-------
Part 4
Y/N
The names of the prophets of God - past, present and future - are ingrained in the minds of every angel. Luckily the name ‘Chuck Shurley’ isn’t terribly common and I found his address quickly. The journey wasn’t long by bus and the next day I found myself hesitantly approaching a dark house with overgrown bushes and patches of dry, dead grass for a yard. What if this wasn’t the right Chuck Shurley and frankly, how would I find out? “Hello Mr. Shurley, my name is y/n, former angel. Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and the plans he has for you?”
Just as I decide it’s worth the shot and raise my hand to knock, I hear two familiar voices and one I don’t recognize. Bingo.
“Look, Chuck do you know where Sam is or not?” Dean’s tone is urgent.
“Yes. This is all wrong. This...” the unfamiliar voice is high and scared sounding. Castiel’s commanding tone cuts him off. I barge in, unannounced and unwelcome.
“Found it,” Cas is holding up a sheaf of papers and Dean snatches them from his hand and starts rifling through them. He freezes mid-shuffle and stares at me.
“Y/n?” Cas squints at me before glancing back at the shorter, bearded man who shrugs.
“Castiel? Dean? What’s happening?” The atmosphere is tense and I feel like my presence is an unwelcome intrusion.
“Thought you didn’t care?” Dean glares at me before continuing to search through the papers in his hands.
“Turns out I was wrong? Where’s your brother?”
“That’s the million dollar question,” Dean mumbles without looking up.
“Uh, excuse me? Who is she?” the man I assume to be Chuck cranes over Castiel’s shoulder.
“Hi. Y/n. Former angel. Looking for these two. Nice to meet you, Chuck,” I turn back to Dean.
“Sam thinks he can stop the final seal from breaking by killing Lilith. Turns out, that is the final seal,” Dean fumbles with the last page. “St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?”
“Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. And you,” Chuck points at me. “You're not in this story.”
“Yeah, well...We're making it up as we go,” Castiel glances at me before turning back to Chuck.
“What? Castiel, you mean you’re not blindly following the orders of your superiors?” I know it sounds like I’m mocking him, but truly I’m shocked. I’d heard of angels choosing free-will over destiny, but I would never have dreamed Castiel possible of such a choice. Just as he opens his mouth to retort, the earth under our feet begins shaking. Hot, white light - immense and powerful - begins seeping into the room from every direction.
“Aw, man! Not again! No!” Chuck groans petulantly.
“It’s the Archangel. I'll hold him off!” Cas shouts over the groaning of the house as it sways.
“I can help you!” I shout back.
“No, they will just kill you. You help Dean. I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!” Castiel smacks his hands on Dean and I’s forehead.
The force of being unexpectedly transported from the quaking room to the eerily quiet convent is explosive and painful and my mind is swimming as my knees hit the hard, stone floor. I can hear Dean’s rapid footsteps grow farther away, but the pounding in my head makes it hard to focus on anything at the moment.
When I am finally able to get my bearings, I glance around. Dean is long gone and while I can hear the sound of shouting, the acoustics of the stone walls, ceilings and floors makes it hard to pinpoint the direction they are coming from.
The halls are like an annoyingly intricate labyrinth as I weave through abandoned hallways and rows of empty classrooms. I pause, straining to hear any sign that I am moving in the right direction, only to hear the sound of voices are further away than before. Dammit. Behind me, what I am guessing is a large, wooden door slams shut and a hysterical bellowing noise echos around me. I run as fast as I can in the direction from where I’d just begun.
“Dean?” My voice sounds shaky and hollow. “Sam?”
As I round the last corner, I feel the earth begin to quiver yet again. It feels as though every stone around me is being dislodged and using me for target practice. At the far end of the hall, I can see the darkened silhouettes of Sam and Dean, as a blazing white light rises up in front of them before consuming their forms altogether. The door slams shut with such intensity a large crack begins to creep upward from the top of the frame before spider-webbing into a thousand fragments.
The sound of rushing wind on the highest mountain on the coldest day of the year, is incomparable to the fury being unleashed on the other side of this door. The final seal has been broken. Lucifer is rising. I shove my shoulder hard against the wood, with no effect. Sam and Dean are locked inside and if I can’t get this door open soon, the magnitude of the power emanating from the center of that light at this moment will likely kill them. Or they survive and then Lucifer devours them both. Either way, bad times.
I direct my angelic senses to the outer boundaries of my body, looking for a way in. Grace explodes from my body with a flash of light as the door bursts open. I can feel myself fading as relief floods my body and I rush forward toward Sam and Dean. I slap a hand on the backs of their heads, thrusting the last of my grace into them. They disappear in a flare of blue light just before the chaos is replaced with a sudden and gut wrenching silence and the world goes dark.
—-
“She lives. Will wonders never cease?”
The loud, haughty voice jars me awake and I jerk upright in shock. I feel the panic beginning to rise in my throat as I look around the sterile room. Arabella’s wide, snide eyes are studying me carefully as my gaze finds hers.
“How did...” My voice is a rasp and my ears are ringing. A brief moment of lucidity gives way to a hysterical current of fear. “Sam and Dean? Are they…”
“You saved them, y/n. You expelled the last of your power to do so, but they are safe.” Arabella crosses her arms over her chest and steps closer to the edge of the bed.
I feel some of the tension melt from my body. I’d done it. My thoughts swim between relief and confusion. “How did I get here?”
“We saw what you did, how you risked your life to save, not only one human for whom you’d been previously responsible for, but his brother in addition,” her voice is as flat and monotonous as ever, but I sense the faintest glimmer of pride at her words. “We make it a point to reward those who go over and beyond their duties.”
Reward? What could she mean? The idea that I could be rejoining the ranks of my brothers and sisters and...“Castiel!” his face flashes in my mind’s eye as the panic returns. “Where’s Castiel?”
I don’t miss the eye-roll that Arabella tries to suppress as she clears her throat. “I’m afraid Castiel…” she pauses, “he did not survive the encounter with the archangel.”
I’ve not cried before. The whole process of someone being so overcome with emotion that it eventually forces its way out in the form of thick, wet tears is completely foreign to me. I’ve seen it hundreds of times - even Dean has let a single, sad little tear trail down his cheek a time or two - but I’ve never once been able to completely comprehend it.
However as the reality of her words and the callousness of her tone sets in, a tumultuous wave of grief and sadness roars through my body and without permission or warning, the flood of tears overtakes me. I can feel Arabella’s indignant gaze on me and somewhere between the embarrassingly violent sobs that wrack my body, I think I hear her sigh. But I don’t care. Despite everything that has happened in the last year - the fallout from Dean’s deal, Castiel rescuing him from hell, the actual apocalypse - the one constant in my life, whether visible or not, has been Castiel. Even when I was rotting and forgotten in that hell-hole of a cell for who-knows-how-long, a part of me knew that Castiel was still alive; that if push came to shove, he would be there. The magnitude of his loss weighed on my shoulders like a palpable mass.
Even his last words to me “I’ll hold them off. Just help Sam.” He’d sacrificed himself so that Dean and I could stop Sam and we’d failed...I’d failed. His death was in vain and it was my fault. And what of the Winchesters? What would they do without him in their midst? From the time I’d spent as an invisible companion, always following Dean to keep him out of harm’s way...mostly...I’d known them to be reckless and somewhat irresponsible. But with Castiel? His presence had seemed to give them some measure of order; perspective.
Distantly I register the sound of Arabella clearing her throat, irritatedly. While the tears still flow freely from my eyes, the overwhelming sense of loss is slowly being overtaken by a numbness that begins to saturate every atom of my being. Finally I fall silent except for the occasional sniffs as I work to regain my composure.
“As I was saying,” Arabella smiles that same painted on smile I’ve come to determine is her trademark, “As a reward for your noble and commendable act of bravery and dedication to the assignment you have been delegated, we are prepared to reinstate your grace in full and offer you a significant promotion to Master Guardian, Defender, third class.”
“What?” My voice is a harsh rasp.
“Well, y/n, not only were you successful in preserving Michael’s vessel, you saved Lucifer’s vessel as well. And now that the seals have been broken...well,” Her smirk is disconcerting. “Things are all as they should be. Upper management will be pleased to see their plans working out more smoothly than they’d anticipated.”
I rub at the dampness under my eyes as I consider her offer. This whole thing...this whole mess...this was their fault. The only reason they’d wanted me to look after Dean in the first place was because they’d wanted to start the apocalypse.
“No.”
“I beg your pardon?” Arabella lifts a perfectly manicured eyebrow, the only visible indication of the challenge in her tone.
“Pardon me, I would respectfully decline your offer,” I pause and smile, a sudden thought sparking to life, “in exchange for another.”
“I’m sorry, this is not a negoti…”
“I mean, if you want me to clue in all of your little minions here and abroad that all these talks of ‘plans’ and ‘destiny’ have little to do with God’s wishes and are actually centered around management’s desire to shake things up a bit….” I trail off, cocking my head to one side and staring unblinkingly at her. She returns my look with a glare before narrowing her eyes at me.
“What do you want?”
“Restore Castiel…”
She snorts a laugh, an oddly ominous sound from her.
“Restore. Castiel,” I say through gritted teeth, “with his original vessel. Instead.”
“You do realize that as it stands right now, your grace is completely diminished and if you do return to Earth, you will be forced to live as a mortal?” I nod once. Arabella’s gaze feels like it’s boring daggers into my skull. “You would rather resurrect the wayward Winchester guard dog, then save your own life? That’s insane. ”
“Well, it’s been said that insanity has its advantages.”
Read the Epilogue HERE
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BIG LADS WRESTLING
Hey everyone it’s that time again to get aboard the #80showyear train again with Show number 55 taking me to an industrial archway unit for XWA and the BIG Clash between Daisuke Sekimoto and Keith Lee.
But first of all, lets start off in Rochdale with a 730am trip to Manchester on one of those ever reliable Northern Rail trains.
Arriving into Manchester, with time to spare it was off to McDonalds for breakfast - 2 Double Sausage and Egg McMuffins sandwiches and a raspberry ice cream from the MCICE Range all totalling in at £7.45. So with a heavy breakfast and brain freeze to boot it was time to get my train and meet up with Chris Linay who was getting on at Stockport.
A fairly quick 2 hour journey passed without trouble and no drops of train beers touching our lips till arriving at London Euston. First port of call was to be the Euston Tap but it wasnt open till 12 noon, so it was a case of trying to find other options, to where we choose All Bar One, now i have always just walked past this bar at the station maybe due to it looking a bit pretentious and expensive.
Entering the pub, a distinct lack of ales were on tap with over half being empty so it was a choice of London Lager, Peroni (£5.50 a pint), Cider or bottles to which i choose a light spanish lager - Pravda for £4.50 a bottle. Definetely would say only visit this bar if you are stuck or just as a meeting spot.
Next pub was across the way - The Bree Louise which is a cracking pub with 23 real ales and 10 Ciders either on Cask, Keg or Bag/Box Method. Drink prices were cheap for London around £3.50 - £4, not even taking into account for the 50p off a pint if you have a Camra Members card. I had a pint of 4.5% Lavendar Ale which was one of the better drinks of the day.
It was then off on the tube to Bethnal Green for a mooch around a couple of regular haunts of mine - The Dundee Arms which has drastically improved since i started travelling to Bethnal Green serving fine craft ales and by the smell of it - Glorious Cheese Toasties served with Gherkins (£5). But with fine craft ales comes a price (£5.30 a pint) but price aside a decent drink.
Next pub was Mother Kellys which is based just around the corner in one of the archways. This is a great place for craft ale but you should expect to pay through the nose for drink here - they do a thing where you can have a drink in price (£2 dearer) or take out price (£2 cheaper) so just be wary when you do go. Me, Chris and Rich were going for anything under the £6 range which did produce a few decent drinks but seeing Northern Monk cans at £10 a can is very steep when you can buy from a shop for £5.45.
Food snacks here including the laughable ‘half a pork pie" with piccalilli for £3.50 or £6 for the full pie, the size of this pie was very small thinking you would get one of them family size efforts - Shame on this pub SHAME!! But pies aside a great drinking hole.
It was on to the wrestling and to a venue which is “snug” to say the least fitting around 100 people in, my vantage point was at the back near the bar as there was a bit of space and you still had a good view from the door to the smoking shelter.
Show started at around 415pm with ROADFAM vs Buffalo Soldier in a good trainee match with both guys looking not out of place. FAM is very much Roy Johnson esque but with more upside from a wrestling standpoint.
One thing to notice from this show was the in-running commentary which was great for a change but thankfully wasnt used all show as i guess it would have grated but still i enjoyed it whilst it was there.
Next up was Cassius vs James Castle which i admit i didnt see much of till the finish as the 4th leg of my Lucky 15 was running at Market Rasen with the possibility of a £250 win, but sadly after leading all the way it got bummed on the line by a 25/1 so only ended up with £82.50. Castle won this match but as i said, i wasnt too interested mainly due to Castle who has been the pits the last few times, Cassius has potential and is likeable.
Next up was Simon Gotch vs Matt Riddle in a really good 20 minute match between two contrasting wrestlers, Gotch belied his WWE Career moveset and went hold for hold with Riddle and after having kicked put of a tombstone, bro 2 sleep, he rolled up Riddle whilst in the Bromission. Good stuff 🖒.
Now for the first time with my eyes live i got to see Jody Fleisch vs Jonny Storm - two of the pioneers of the last boom in the uk scene and certainly showing here they havent missed a step. They started slow but built up to all the quick and slick moves these 2 are famed for, only the moment where Jody nearly hit his head on the lowish roof at 1 side was the only blot on a great copybook. Jody picked up the win with the 720 Phoenix, I am very much looking forward to Fleisch facing Dean Allmark at PCW in August.
After break we had a 3 way match with Kip Sabian/El Phantasmo/Doug Williams in an alright but longish match, with all 3 looking good (i know even Sabian) who is so inconsistent with performances at the moment - My mate Chris for one as soon as his music was heard made a quick dash for the smoking area.
Next was supposed to be a singles match with Mark Haskins vs Cara Noir, but due to shenanigans got changed to Haskins and Lion Kid vs Noir and Pantera Negro. My only gripe of the day was this match - it went on FOREVER FOREVER!! It felt like 25 minutes even longer and was won cheapily by the bad guys here. I would go to say this was as bad as the Riddle/Gracie match from WCPW the other week for War of Attrition standard. Avoid unless you want a good kip 😴😴😴😴😴😴
Thankfully the next match was Daisuke Sekimoto vs Keith Lee in a brutal big lads clash, just two 300 hundred pound agile big lads performing german suplexes galore, torture racks on Lee which was just WOW!
The chops looked and sounded painful as you could literally see the sweat evaporate into the sky, You could taste the MANLYNESS 😍. The end came when Daisuke picked up Keith Lee and finished him with a Burning Hammer Driver - BLOODY NORA!!!!! Magnificent match and you owe it yourself to Bask in this matches glory 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Sadly with time running against us for making the train, we had to leave before the Tea Party Deathmatch involving Gideon Grey, Jimmy Havoc, Martina and Bull James. Of what i saw, Gideon getting showered with Teabags and coming out to a Human League tune on repeat.
Beer and other drink prices - £5 for 500ml bottles of real ale (Oxford Gold, Hobgoblin) all alright but can be bought much cheaper at the corner shop. £4 for 330ml bottles and £2 for soft drinks.
A near 2 and half hour journey back to Manchester via a random stop that Virgin Trains have invented - NUNEATON, whoever lives there? But nice to get back through the wet weather and in my bed before midnight.
All in all a very fun show with at least ¾ matches you should watch - Roadfam/Buffalo Soldier, Gotch/Riddle, Fleisch/Storm and ultimately Daisuke/BIG KEITH LEE. I would certainly recommend a trip to see XWA or Pro Wrestling EVE if you fancy a nice change from the norm.
Tomorrow will be my review of TIDAL Wrestling’s BATTLE OF THE LS2 ELECTRICITY BOARD!
#grapsandclaps
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